#wow these tags got away from me

[doolallymagpie]

well it's not like i don't want to learn 3d modeling anyway

dropship-ified rocinante wouldn't be a bad project if i actually start on that stuff

#the neat part is 'artificial gravity' works exactly the same way in battletech as it does the expanse #(as in it doesn't. there's no such thing.) #so the 'tailsitter'/'skyscraper' design of the roci wouldn't be out of place in BT #just. y'know. needs a mechbay that carries...however many 'mechs the MCR would send on a mission fitting the tachi-class's profile #my thought was that the donnager-class is a step between dropship and warship #no KF drive of its own but they somehow got their hands on the MDCS schematics and actually got it to extend the KF bubble #so a donnager could carry two tachis (along with its own complement of 'mechs) #and is armed to the teeth #and you could dock two donnagers to an invader-class jumpship #and the distinction between that abomination and a legitimate warship would be...not much at all #(for reference: in battletech 'warship' refers specifically to a jumpship with weapons and a realspace engine. most do not. #and warships are in fact lost technology. nobody can manufacture them anymore. it's hard enough to make a jumpship.) #wow these tags got away from me

[conquerthenight]

I’ve been thinking nonstop about the time someone on ao3 mentioned that Maxim took on some of Rebecca’s worst traits as a way to cope with (or that some of his own worst traits were exacerbated by) the abuse he endured by Rebecca’s hand. And that honestly makes so much sense.

None of this an excuse for how he behaves, but I think it could be an explanation.

I mean, think about it. We know he has quite the horrible temper. In the musical Beatrice states that he was “the same way as a child” meaning that his anger issues have always existed in some way. Of course that is most likely true, but take that and add in years of emotional abuse and it’s certainly a recipe for disaster. What used to be an ordinary bad temper became something border lining on volatile over the years. We see that in those moments Maxim snaps at his second wife. In the musical, during the first boathouse scene, Maxim rushes after his wife who had run offstage in terror, as if he was about to hit her before ultimately realizing what he was about to do and stopping himself in his tracks.

We know that Maxim can be quite cold and distant when he wants to be. At times he is also super patronizing and mocking. In the musical it’s a bit less so (but even that has the “you react like a child” line) but in the book he’s constantly talking down to his wife. Perhaps he does so because Rebecca did the same to him? Of course, Rebecca definitely didn’t compare him to a child as Maxim did to his second wife, but she could have mocked him with his insecurities (his obsession with holding up his family’s reputation, his intense desire to be seen as a strong figure and the toxic level of pressure he puts on himself as a result).

And of course, we can’t talk about Maxim or Rebecca’s worst traits without mentioning manipulation and the abuse of power dynamics. And what’s more is that both of them are fully aware that they are manipulating the situation. Rebecca sought to control Maxim by holding her affairs, Manderley’s standing, etc. over his head knowing full well he either wouldn’t or couldn’t (or a combination of the two) divorce her. See the lyric in “Kein Lächeln war je so Kalt”: “Divorce was taboo for the de Winter family. The family honor was worth more to me than my pride, and she relished in her triumph”.

Likewise, Maxim knows full well that his second wife came from basically nothing. He knows she’s financially dependent on him and that should their marriage fail in some way, she would have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. He even outright admits to her that he “did a selfish thing” marrying his second wife and that he “should have waited and let [his wife] marry a boy of [her] own age”. He knows that he has (and arguably still is) manipulating the dynamics in his own favor until the very moment he confesses to Rebecca’s murder and the power shifts from Maxim to his young wife.

Both Maxim and Rebecca know that they are absolute monsters. But it’s important to also note where they differ. While Rebecca revels in her absolute assholery and abusiveness, Maxim’s situation is the opposite. He hates himself for his own assholery and has basically condemned himself to a suffering of his own making.

Ironically, Mrs. Danvers said it best: “He’s made his own hell, and he has no one but himself to thank for it”. Was Mrs. Danvers just trying to get under the new Mrs. de Winter’s skin and hit her where it would hurt most? Yes. Was it said out of bitterness over Rebecca being replaced? Yes. But was she correct in her assumption? Also yes.

And of course, the key difference between Rebecca and Maxim is that all important shift in power. Rebecca held the power for almost the entirety of their relationship, and Maxim sought to take that power back through any means necessary resulting in Rebecca’s murder. When Maxim eventually confesses to said murder, it serves as an act of giving up that power he had claimed by killing Rebecca. He can no longer hold the weight of it because he knows he is damned and thus power transferred itself to his second wife. Where he was previously codependent on Rebecca, his second wife became codependent on him upon their marriage, and ultimately he became codependent on his wife upon his confession.

This is where the adaptation of Rebecca’s traits begins to fade. Maxim becomes basically a shell of himself, barely keeping it together through the rest of the story if not for the influence of his wife. He becomes as reliant on her as she had previously been reliant on him. This toxic cycle is only truly broken with the burning of Manderley. Only then are they equals. Only then do they begin to truly grow.

Rebecca, on the other hand, never got that chance. It was taken from her by the very man she had ill used. She knew that her “pregnancy” was a lie. She knew that her cancer diagnoses would damn her to a slow and painful death. Did that stop her from perpetuating the cycle of abuse? No. Instead she continued with it until her last breath, passing the torch to Maxim in the process.

Maxim certainly was no innocent. He perpetuated this toxic cycle as well. The only difference was that the person he passed it onto ended up not only breaking the cycle, but also gave him the opportunity to heal from it. He knows he isn’t worthy of it. We as the reader/viewer somewhat know that too. And yet the second Mrs. de Winter unknowingly grants him this post Manderley fire. Maxim has the opportunity to redeem himself where Rebecca did not.

Whether he takes the opportunity or ultimately succumbs to his inner demons (figuratively or literally) is completely up to the one consuming the story.

Personally my opinion is ever changing. While the optimistic part of me believes that he does work to better himself and ultimately succeeds in doing so, the realistic part of me wonders whether that’s the case. Of course, when I am of the realistic opinion I don’t think he reverts back to the traits he took on from Rebecca and those that were made worse during his relationship with Rebecca, but rather he wallows in a state of being that is just numb to it all. He is stagnant in his recovery because he believes, he knows, that he is beyond help. Things don’t get worse, but they certainly don’t get better either.

Ultimately Maxim de Winter is a character that foretells the tragedy of abuse and how the cycle of abuse can continue in ways that those trapped within it don’t comprehend until it’s too late. He is and isn’t a victim. He is and isn’t a perpetrator. We root for his relationship with his second wife on our most hopeful days and yet we don’t on our most cynical. He is an asshole. He is a dick. He isn’t exactly the best of men. And yet he is also broken. He is lonely. He is lost.

He finds what he is looking for in the end to an extent. A love that, while not exactly the healthiest, sets him on a path to becoming a better person. The relationship between Maxim and his second wife is in a way just like the drive leading to Manderley itself. Constant twisting and turning, plenty of bumps in the road, obstacles that temporarily prevent them from moving forward. And the beauty of it is that they do, in their own twisted way. They move on from the cycle of abuse they started in, however irreparably damaged and emotionally numb Maxim may be by the end.

“Love that liberates”. I’ve seen plenty of debate over whether that signature line from the musical is applicable to the story of Rebecca and the journey the de Winters take. My two cents is that it is, although the love itself isn’t what liberates the de Winters, Maxim in particular. Maxim may delude himself into believe that the love his second wife shows him despite his crimes is what liberates him, but while it certainly sets the foundation for their liberation from the cycle, in the end it is he who must crawl out of the hell he created for himself. No one can pull him out of it but himself.

#in defense of maxim de winter #in defense of rebecca de winter #wow i never thought i’d say that #this got away from me #it’s nearly 3am #and here i am writing a whole essay on rebecca and how its characters contribute to a toxic environment #rebecca das musical #maxim de winter #rebecca de winter #mrs de winter #ileana de winter #this post got away from me #and so did the tags #daphne du maurier #meta #rebecca meta

[yuridovewing]

As a fellow Dovewing lover, it's frustrating how the fandom watered her down into a whiny brat who never cared about Ivypool. I mean, seriously? Not only did Dovewing care about her sister (reacting in horror when Lionblaze, her own mentor and Jayfeather are willing to potentially sacrifice Ivypool's safety by employing her as her spy instead of trying to get her out of the Dark Forest's clutches, hiding a thorn in her nest to cover for her scarring from her training).

Heck, even the scene where she tries to feed Ivypool her catch during a hunting patrol was demonized because 'she was trying to make Ivypool break the code like SHE does, as if it doesn't matter' and because she got upset when Ivypool started arguing with her! But you guys said she didn't care, right? Plus, people act like being forced into a prophecy is something you should be grateful for, as if it didn't irreparably change her close relationship with her sister? As if Lionblaze and Jayfeather didn't still keep her out of the loop (and for all the fussing they made about keeping it a secret, Lionblaze confesses his power to Cinderheart and Jayfeather doesn't even care).

Meanwhile Nightheart is angry he isn't orange and hates his mom for being exiled and the whole world has to stop for him. 🤪 And Bramblestar is simply so tortured by having an evil father, the only choice is to train with him and his evil half-brother and hide this from his wife! (But remember, it's bad when that witch Squirrelflight hides the parentage of the three from him, even when Blackstar and Leopardstar were still around after being complicit in the torture and killing of halfclan cats.) Why are these male characters sympathized with, even when they actively harm people (Nightheart forcing himself into Sunbeam's life by lying to everyone about being her mate without even asking her if she would be fine with that beforehand), Bramblestar (we all know what he does), but when Dovewing or any other female character is upset, people freak out and call them whiny brats or abusive for (checks notes) asking her partner if he loves her anymore after they argued multiple times in a book. Really makes you think! (Sorry this is so long, you just have based opinions!)

dovewing being characterized as this flighty airheaded vain popular girl stereotype in fanon is like. one of those biggest "we didnt actually read the books" things in the fandom. like theres so much fanart where shes grinning and giggling over the prophecy and shes besties with the trio and shes got preferential treatment, and then in the actual books shes basically the autistic kid no one actually likes. people really, REALLY overexaggerate that one scene where she snaps at ivypaw and brags. (and i dont wanna shit on amvs but i am forever side eying how the animation community handled dove back in the day. more than one person animated her getting murdered. normal.)

i do think its gotten better recently at least. but wow does it feel like at least one person on the writing team has a bone to pick

(also awww thank you <3 no need to be sorry i love getting stuff in my inbox)

#it does also feel so insidious to me just how long the bramblesquirrel conflict was painted as ''equally kind of wrong'' #the ppl who put words in squilfs mouth sometimes which. btw ill get to that when i read the book #and tbf part of it is that sometimes abuse isnt as easy to spot if youre primed to the mainstream version of it #like. bramble isnt a born evil wifebeater everyone can see coming from a mile away. hes a complex guy with his own insecurities #and his own goals and people he openly cares about. and even in some fanon stuff i see ppl kinda erase that part of him #(which i wont pretend im above- ive been trying to walk that line myself) #and that doesnt match how abusers are usually percieved by the public. or in this very series. #like. the main excuse for clear sky is literally ''hes sad his sister died and tried to save her! no one changes THAT much'' #anyone can be an abuser. you could be an abuser. i could be an abuser. that doesnt mean that we ARE but we are capable of it #and the thing that catches ppl off guard is that abusers are really good at hiding who they are and theyre often charming #i often hear this account of abuse that goes something like ''my parent abused me but no one believed me bc theyre nice in public'' #you dont know whats going on behind closed doors. and ik this is about funny kitties at the end of the day but its quite telling #so... yeah bramble has his nice moments. hes got his GREAT moments even. i love his relationship with his mom for example #but those moments dont mean that hes not capable of being worse. of being a monster to his loved ones #its why squilf keeps getting sucked back in. hes not a one dimensional asshole. hes capable of being kind to her. #and thats what makes his disgusting moments hit so much harder #wow ok i got off topic in the tags but yknow. idk i got feelings abt this matter as someone who's experienced toxic relationships

[feliosfarkus]

hitting a perfect "target acquired" against a magma worm is so fucking cool like

You stand amongst countless bodes, narrowly avoiding joining them. You hear a roar, but before you can see where its coming from, you see what it’s coming from. A serpent of magma bursts from the ground, mere inches from your face. You see its eyes, tiny yellow things, bursting with hate. You dash backwards, narrowly avoiding a bite from one of those lizard things, and you watch as the beast arcs down towards you. Do you run? No. You stand your ground, trusty sidearm in hand, and you line up a shot. As it opens its maw to roar, you fire. Bang. Bang. Bang. The rounds find their mark, ripping through the beast's massive body, tearing it apart from the inside. You watch as the light leaves the creature's body, becoming dull and brown. The husk of the once great worm slams into the ground next to you. As you inspect your kill, you see one of its eyes is still bright, although it looks different than the others. Rather than a solid mass of yellow, the eye looks… human. Sclera, iris and pupil, the closest thing you’ve seen to another person since you crashed here. It flicks from place to place, finally locking on you, your hate reflected back at you. You wrench it out of its socket, taking it as a macabre trophy of your survival. The teleporter flashes red, a tear in reality appearing between the two pillars. You step through, not knowing what is on the other side, but hoping it's better than this. You are wrong.

#the cat rambles #wow this got away from me. damn. #microfiction is fun as hell to write #risk of rain #risk of rain returns #btw i will be revisiting this and editing it #just little changes to make it flow better #the cat writes #<- new microfic tag!!!!!

[viksalos]

reading up on autism to figure out what the fuck is going on with me and making a list of personal pros and cons to figure out whether i should feel good or bad about it. as one does

pros: hyperlexia, deeply compassionate, talent for mathematics and the sciences/can do calculations of reasonable complexity in my head, visual hypersensitivity/decent artistic ability when replicating from still life/good at distinguishing subtle colors, acute hearing/good at identifying distinct sounds and sonic textures/deeply moved by music, can rotate some shapes in my head really fast i guess

cons: people can tell something is "off" about me in a fraction of a second and will be anywhere from begrudgingly polite to overtly hostile about it, terminal "not like other girls" disease/feeling of disconnect with existing in a feminine body, can pace for hours on end until my legs hurt, frequent crying & shutdowns, talk about myself and my interests extensively and can't seem to find a way to stop or better relate to others outside of mirroring them, productive work that actually *utilizes* my talents seems to only happen in increasingly infrequent bursts of hyperfocus, recurring identity issues stemming from a fundamental feeling of being born wrong and belonging nowhere, visceral hypersensitivity means i'm in pain from the normal functioning of my own organs for most of the day, people have compared me to sheldon cooper and elon musk, i am constantly begging for the sweet release of death,

#text #hmm. this post was funnier in my head #to be clear i am not one of those ''aut1sm is a superpower'' people and i'm aware that my ''gifts'' afford me significant privilege #but they also used to be things i liked about myself even when i was depressed #now that i'm anywhere from 3-5 yrs into burnout and can't rly *access* my gifts in the capacity i used to be able to anymore #it's rly hard to be positive about things. lol #i used to think that if people were going to think i was weird forever that i should at least be useful #which may not be possible to the degree it once was. and i realize was also a damaging and unhelpful mindset to begin with #tbh i'm rly jealous of the zoomers who seem to have more knowledge about/be more accepting of this stuff. #i think i was just in denial for years. but after looking into it more i'm more certain i'm aut1stic than i've been of anything in my life #which is significant considering the; yknow; identity issues. lol #it's kind of hilarious how many of my old text posts just scream ''undiagnosed aut1stic burnout'' in retrospect #sorry for all the behaviors and stuff. i love my mutuals but i think i have to be on this website less #while i figure my stuff out. i'll still check in but not as often #feel free to reach out in the meantime. i already miss a lot of my friends i lost contact with while going thru it <3 #wow these tags got away from me. ok bye

[plaintoast]

i was not expecting anyone to reblog that post about my poem which is making me wish i could make my tumblr private the way you can with twitter or insta. i always get really anxious about things escaping my circle. it feels nice, like, i have friends who are proud of me, and i do want people to read and hopefully enjoy my poetry. but oh my goooood the mortifying idea of being known!!!!!!

#maybe it's good for me to break containment now and then but at what COST #<- at what cost max? do u hear yourself??? #i am always like wow i'm so sad i don't have more close friends! like obv it's bc of this #like if i'm not letting someone new see me or someone see something new of me #how do i expect anyone to ever get to know me! #of course i don't feel loved i never let anyone love meee #these tags really got away from me i should take them to therapy

[painsandconfusion]

What's your dni list? I can't seem to find one.

I don't really have one. The only thing that really squicks me out is MAP people who defend it. If you know you have issues and you're working on yourself? Different story. But anyone who defends pedophilia in any capacity isn't welcome here.

#i think thats all i got #sand asks #most people just stay away from me tbh #some people get weirded out that im practicing christian #which is valid #so i try to keep that out in the open in case people dont want to interact #im a pretty chill person i guess #and a lot of the dni lists include things that i believed once or whatever #and its people like you guys that helped me work out of the echochambers #so i try not to cut anyone out unless its a personal trigger #anna blogs on very thin ice because they can trigger me but thats its own thing #hmmm #yea anyone who regularly posts suicide or self harm jokes content or discourse are in the same boat #hurts my heart no thank you #polite no thank you #wow this is a lot of tags im sorry #im not efficient today im sleepy

[inkstaindusk]

Everyone in enstars has codependency issues and I, for one, think that's hilarious

#it's a good thing these guys don't talk to anyone other than each other #bc they can say insane shit about never leaving their unitmate or smth and everyone else will be like #yeah ofc makes sense and nodding bc they do that too #MAN WAIT NAZUNA IS IN COLLEGE AND HAS COLLEGE FRIENDS #hes taking a break from idol activities but he was still a public figure and plans to return #which means he needs to keep up his idol image to a certain extent but like #does he have the freedom to tell people about some stuff if hes not specific or anything #do you think those people are like hey nito what the fuck #wow these tags got away from me lmao #dusk liveblogs #enstars lb

[hands0mejack]

.

i used to collect keys and fancy glass bottles until my mom threw away everything i owned that one time and i lost most of my stuff + broke the most expensive hannibal funko pop that my friend bought me

#vent #jack.txt #saw a post about collecting things and was like wow remember MY collection? #now i dont collect anything because im poor and have so much trauma about my things being pawned off or destroyed since i had no rights ig #my mom pawning off everything i had when she got upset with me because it was actually “hers” since i didnt buy it :))) #sorry to vent i just had another argument with her and basically told her not to talk to me until she apologizes for deadnaming me #and now shes taking it out on my little sister because she isnt involved in my life anymore smh #happy easter i cant stand my family and they hate me for my trans gay autistic swag B) #tw: child abuse #tw: abuse #idk what else to tag this sorry for venting on main #me 800 miles away from my family chilling playing video games on easter and scrolling tumblr. wouldnt be any diff and hasnt for 4 years lol

[imeminemp3]

oh i got 3 compliments on my nails at social anxiety group tonight🥺🥺

#also i finally got to talk to the other girl* who's actually in the group #one of the compliments was from her and the others from one of the. um idk what you call them. ladies training to be psychiatrists #part of the appeal of these nails is the are 3d so they are very tactile #also im realising that the autism is also making the Getting Over Social Anxiety hard #bc the social anxiety def came from the autism so. there's things i just don't do and im very adamant about not changing them but #like #eye contact and such. im never going to do that and i think tahts OK! #sorry these tags are like. getting in depth. BUT #ive been like. performing societal norms super hard lately which is not good for my mental health like im out here making a gazillion #facial expressions a day bc idk im stressed outta my mind! idk! #i really need to get my therapist to understand that i am fucked up in a way bc last time I saw her (last week) i said i vaccuumed my room #and she was like wow ur doing gr8! nvm the fact that i still had piles of washing and so much shit to still Pu away #i did clean my room fully tho tonight bc my sister is coming over tmr #but that's bc i wanna set a good example #incentives don't seem to work on her 13yo brain but they do for me! but as i said she's coming over tmr and since im going str8 from work #to pick her up ive left it up til the LAST MINUTE lmfao #but. i did it #OK guys sayonara I'm going to read these tags to my therapist next time i see her tho #diary

[ailaghast]

hello

#haven`t been here for a while #life is good when you spend more time away from social media #but tumblr is cool #my husband got me a 3d printer for my birthday and i haven`t seen sunlight in a week #WOW WAIT YOU CAN EDIT TAGS NOW???? HOLY SHIT LIFE IS GRREAT

[rouge-the-bat]

Hi Rouge! Just wanted to say that with all the drama I've had going on with anon hate, I'm really glad it wasn't you. I was a little worried because I like your content and I would have been sad to lose you.

Also, I wanted to tell you that you helped me figure out some gender things and now I'm a little more open minded regarding gender. So thank you!

D: oh no, ive been more off tumblr lately after getting sdv so i hadnt seen youve been getting hate 😟 im so sorry about that, we havent been following each other for very long but you seem really cool, you dont deserve hate :(

*hugs* im glad to hear tho that you really like my content n ive helped u understand some gender stuff better!! if i can help people become more open minded about stuff thats always really great to see :'3

#also dw i wouldnt stoop to shit like anon hate #ive gotten WAAYYYYY too much of that over the years #if i got a problem with someone i say it with my chest and call them an asshole for when theyre being an asshole HFJSJFJ #i only do that for ppl hating on me/my identity tho. bc im sick of ppl spouting hate #and its not like ill keep sending hate. ill just see them being an ass and ill send one ''wow youre a fucking asshole'' and block #if i have an issue with someone i relatively know i believe in the Hey Can We Just Talk About This method #i may not have any mercy or respect for people being deliberate cunts #but im not the type to attack ppl for like. different views or maybe being a bit ignorant on something or w/e #also i scrolled down ur blog n ig its about the pro life stuff?? #which like. im pro choice 100% but im tokophobic so i prefer staying away from topics about pregnancy n abortion n stuff usually #i got tags for that stuff blocked #im not gonna immediately lump all prolifers into being pieces of shit or w/e #theres a lot of reasons n emotions involved for why ppl take stances esp on a topic like that #n from what im seein it doesnt look like a topic either of us really feel comfy with discussing in depth lol #so dw im not gonna be dragging u into talking about it #starry asks #wow i really just say a lot of shit in the tags sometimes. why do i put in here rather than on the post itself? idk i just Do #this is the secondary thoughts room. i guess

[thatonesimpergirl]

It’s Christmas Eve-

Yo I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve already-

it felt like as if yesterday was Thanksgiving-

anyone else feel the same-?

#christmas #anyone else? #just wow #im bad at tags #these tags got away from me

[kinnersonne]

Ooooooo never been on Tumblr for Conference before. Finding all the other Church of Jesus Christ people who are also posting—eeeeeeeeee!

#and there’s also the hate Elder Oaks get #even when his talk has nothing to do with the queer community #and frankly has no negative vibes at all #i know I’m gonna get flac for defending him #which is fair #but idk can we practice forgiveness? #i know he’s hurt a lot of people with dumb stuff he’s said #i have too. maybe that’s why I wanna cut him some slack in the face of all this #i would want the opportunity to repent and move on offered to me from whoever it is i’ve injured #if it were me #WOW tags got away from me #my bad lol #maybe shouldn’t have said that ehheheh #but that’s what this hellsite is for #general conference #church of jesus christ of latter day saints #tumblrstake

[postmail]

Can't teach an old dog new tricks. Odele in particular is quite stuck in his ways, but at least he still manages to keep it somewhat unique each time.

#'ill kill you -> ill kill myself' pipeline real as ever #odele yet again proves to not be bluffing! #dw about the wonky anatomy w/ that hand. its finneeeeee #took me agessss to figure out how to shade this lol #odele oc #i think thats his tag? idk i never remember #tryin to move towards making him look more like a fox... be it one with a rlly weird pelt pattern #love this guy sooo much you dont even knowww.... #got back home from a long ass rp sesh today and right away sat down to draw this scene #nooo odele dont kill your self you are so sexy ahahah- #(i dont want him to die but uhhhh i have to play my character. and odele does not believe in bluffing) #also he got a new outfit! how cute! (he killed a man for that hat) #alto art #ask to tag #blood #suicide #implied suicide #(god i hope he doesnt actually die i love him too much-) #(and i have so many plans! but! he is! uncooperative even to me! his player!) #firealpaca #oh wow this got way too long lmao okay im going now goodbye- #(ps you might see a queeshmael funnee from me later. if i get the courage to post it-)

[lizeon]

if your website or app is gonna require a capital letter, a number, and a special character for all passwords, you need to put that those are required below the sign in text box either right away or after a few failed login attempts i can not remember every site that requires all three of those

#the number of times im trying to sign in and what i think the pw is doesnt work #and so then i go to request a link or code or whatever to reset it and #im entering the new password (what i know i would remember to use later) and its like ''hey your password requires a special character'' #so then im like ''oh. well i know what password it is now'' so i have to go back to the log in and wow it works right away #like if it had just indicated that all passwords on this site need a sp chara or whatever then i woupd know which one to do #from the beginning :/ #live liveblogs life #this post with tags longer than the content brought to you by the subway app updating and logging me out #but im waiting for their bread to finish baking anyway cuz all they got right now is wheat and flat #i could drive to another subway across the river but eh