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sarcastic-positivity · 5 months

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(This is a one-shot I wrote based on the gerry x Tim roomates AU. It ended up a lot longer than I intended, but yk lol.)

Title: Another failed attempt at love

When Tim finally made it to the floor, his flat was on he stomped down the long hallway until he reached the door, where his flatmate, and more importantly, his bed was waiting for him.

He unlocked the door fumbling with his keys out of anger. He felt so stupid, he should've quit dating apps a long time ago but here we are. He shut the door louder than he intended and flinched at the realization. He wasn't sure if Gerry was awake or not, and he didn't want to risk waking that nightmare. Gerry needed his rest and lord help anyone who stand in his way.

But as soon as Tim turned to face the sitting room of his flat, if you could even call it that, he heard a raspy voice come from the unmoving figure sitting on the couch. "That bad huh?"

Gerry was sitting on the sofa, the only source of illumination being the graphics tablet sitting in his lap. His makeup was still on, though slightly smudged. Although Tim wasn't sure if that was intentional or not. Gerrys leather platforms were sitting off to the side in front of the couch as they usually sit, Tim was pretty sure there are dents in the dirty carpet where they sit.

"What are you a bloody vampire? Turn a light on!" Tim flipped the switch to his right and the room lit up. Gerry winced at the sudden light and indistinctly closed his eyes and tried to adjust.

"Unfortunately, no." The Gothic boy said sarcastically from where he sat. "So, did the date go well or not? You seem pissy."

Tim sighed and made his way across the room, "how difficult is it to pay for YOUR BLOODY MEAL!? He offered to pay or me! And then WHOOPS, forgot his wallet!" Tim waved his hands around to accentuate each word. He plopped down next to his flatmate as gracefully as a toddler doing a belly flop. "And I mean, I'm fine with paying for myself, but HE offered to pay! And then I had to pay for us BOTH!?" He continued.

"Wow, you've had a hell of a day." Gerry said mockingly.

But that was lost on the angry man sitting next to him. "Yeah! And he didn't even ask me any questions he just talked about himself and his ex the whole time." Tim sat with his arms crossed like a pouting child, mostly as a joke, but he was genuinely upset. There was a gap of silence where the two men sat in the thick tension filled air.

"Well, anyways, what are you drawing?" Tim broke the silence and leaned over the poorly died black haired man next to him.

"Eh, nothing, I just decided to draw you as a warm-up sketch. I'm gonna add some of the other archive workers." Tim looked into the bright tablet and saw a gorgeous drawing that shared his face. It honestly looked better than Tim did on a good day. It sure as hell didn't look like a bloody warm-up.

"That's amazing" he thought. He didn't realize untill Gerry responded that he had said it out loud.

"I mean, I've done better." Gerry said uncharacteristically shyly.

"Whats with the sudden humbleness? I thought you were good at everything?" Tim said sarcastically, and playfully elbowed his flatmate.

"I'm not good at everything, I'm just better than you." Gerry said with a smug smirk and a look in his eyes that somehow always seemed to make Tim nervous.

"Yeah, right." Tim teased, trying to hide the twisting feeling in his stomach and the rising temperature of his face.

Gerry went back to his drawing when he was finished teasing his flatmate. Tim watched him draw, he always did. But his eyes couldn't help but wonder to the artist. Gerry's dark gray eyes and smuged eyeliner were illuminated by the glowing tablet. The bright screen exentuated his features in a way that made Tim's face grow hotter.

Tim liked his Gothic roommate ever since they got to know eachother. They met through Jon, oddly enough. Apparently Gerry's mom worked in the institute in the 90's or something? Tim didn't really know the details, but based on how Gerry practically flinched each time she was brought up, Tim didn't want to ask. Gerry needed a place to live and Tim was barely affording his flat at the time, so they teamed up and Gerry moved in.

Tim didn't know how difficult it would be to live with the guy. He was only a year or two younger than Tim and he was hot, so he thought he would just jokingly flirt with him, from time to time like he did with everyone else and it wouldn't be a problem. Well little did he know that Gerry was also a huge tease, mostly to Tim which he thought was weird. Tim was really only on the giving end on the overly flirtatious friend, but Gerry would always find ways to knock him off his feet. Tim didn't know he had a thing for goths untill Gerry. Or maybe Tim just had a thing for Gerry.

"See something ya like?" Tim caught himself staring at Gerry's lips, that were twisted up into a smug smirk. That fucking smirk. Tim felt his face grow impossibly hotter as he tried to explain himself.

"I, well, I- I mean" Why was he bumbling like an idiot? He was good at this? This was his thing? He was the one who got people flustered, not the other way around. Tim heard Gerry start to laugh. God he loved Gerry's laugh. It was scratchy yet soft, it was like a shitty knitted jumper. But God it was cute. Tim watched the other man's lips as they laughed free of malice. He found himself leaning towards his gorgeous flatmate looking up into his eyes. Gerry suddenly stopped laughing and made a suprised expression. His pale face grew a bright shade of red as he looked at the man sitting next to him. He took a quick look at his lips then back to his large eyes.

Gerry quickly closed the distance between him and the other man. Tim genuinely couldn't believe he was kissing Gerry Keay. The man who flirted with him for more than a year and never actually made a move. Tim scooted closer trying to deepen the kiss. Gerry pulled away for a moment and before Tim could start to apologize for what he'd done. Gerry quickly moved the tablet from his lap and was back with his lips on Tim's.

Tim lifted his hand and placed it on the back of Gerry's neck. Gerry slightly parted his lips as an invitation and Tim quickly took it. Gerry supported himself on Tim's shoulders and Tim moved his hands to the other man's waist. Gerry was wearing an oversized jumper with a band that Tim didn't recognize, but it didn't really matter because Gerry swiftly pulled it off and threw it behind him. As Gerry moved to continue snogging his flatmate, Tim planted his hand on his chest to stop him.

"Why?" Gerry scrunched his brows in a puzzled expression and Tim continued. "Why are you doing this? Do you actually have feelings for me or is this just a fling?"

Tim was always awful with his words when it mattered most, but he felt he got his point across.

Gerry snickerd at his words and grabbed Tim's face with his tattoo clad hands "Tim Stoker, I have been in love with you for months." Tim lifted his brows in suprise.

"You wot?" Is all he could think of in response. The long haird man sitting next to him laughed, hands still wrapped around Tim's face. He pressed their foreheads together as Tim started to laugh as well.

The two men laughed together for a while. "I just, I never thought you actually had feelings for me." Tim said, the blood instantly flowing to his cheeks.

"I flirt with you all the time!?" Gerry responded throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

"You flirt with everyone!" Tim argued.

"No, no, no, you flirt with everyone. I only flirt with people I'm interested in and people who respond in funny ways. You just so happend to be both." Gerry looked at Tim with a smug expression and had the absolute gawl to wink! At the man who's already practically melting by the fact that the sexy goth he's shared a flat with for a year and a half, is in love with him. Tim felt his blood rushing a little further south than he'd like, so he turned away so as not to have even another problem on his hands.

"I love it when your shy." Gerry says with a smile. Tim turns and immediately grabs him by the neck of his t-shirt and kisses him. Gerry grabs his face and leans into the kiss.

"How's that for shy?" Tim says, pleasantly grinning at Gerry. The other man rolls his eyes and pulls Tim in for another kiss.

"Shut up, you tease."

Omggggg love love love

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temporalhiccup · 1 year

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Heeeeeeeeeeey everybody, it's my birthday!

It's a big one too, I turn 40 today! ❤️

I thought I'd put some of the "Essential Rae Games" on sale to celebrate!

This is a highly personal write up of these games that reflect my time so far in game design, so I apologize if they don't accurately represent what the game is, whoops.

Become One is my first foray into the itchio ttrpg scene, the first time I put out a game on the internet! This was for the sad mecha game jam, and started out as a four page game.

Honestly, this game holds up extremely well, and every time I come back and play it, I'm surprised at how this game plays way beyond my actual design level of the time.

But, to this day, I have yet to make another mech game (as much as I love the genre) or make a game that works so well as a one shot (I have tried and failed over the years haha)

It's funny that this first public game of mine contains so many themes that show up in almost all of my games. Emotions, memory, my absolute distaste for hit points in ttrpgs...

Our Haunt was my first attempt at making a Belonging Outside Belonging game and since then I have made...uh...a lot of BoB games, hah! BoB remains one of my favorite systems to design in, and the poetic constraints have made me a much better designer. I still think there's so much to explore within the BoB space! Coming back to Our Haunt two years later for the final release, and redesigning it to reflect all that I've learned, was really fun!

This is also my first game to actually get published and printed, after making TTRPGs for four years(!!!). I don't have direct access to things like Kickstarter or similar crowdfunding platforms (I'm a Filipino in the Philippines, global south woes, etc), so being able to finally see one of my games in physical book form was...wow. I can't describe it. Absolutely surreal.

Also I kinda wonder how much of Our Haunt's success is because I made a playbook that's basically being a cat. I wrote it for my partner, who is...basically a cat. (He absolutely loves it)

We Forest Three is one of the few solo games I've designed, and it was certainly the most difficult to write. It's essentially a choose your own adventure ttrpg, and I keep wondering if I've become a strong enough designer to come back and try making another game that follows a similar structure. Hah!

I think this game shows my obsession with the conflict between extremes: forest and city, supernatural beings and humans, family and the individual, love and horror.

This is also the game that notoriously everyone else has had better luck than me! Whenever I play this game, I die a horrible death 90% of the time. (I usually roll the worst stats, augh) Good thing I wrote those (many, many) deaths to be really fun I guess!

BALIKBAYAN is undoubtedly the game that caught everyone's attention. Many amazing opportunities have come my way because BALIKBAYAN made such an impression! I really really should get around to uploading the current version of the game, but even this version on itch is a great. I'm proud of smashing together a distinctly 90s anime cyberpunk vibe with Filipino myth and folktales, while also pushing back against Shadowrun's idea that magic and tech are two opposing forces. Instead, magic and machinery are the same thing in BALIKBAYAN.

I'm also really glad that this game has connected to so many Filipinos in other countries, and resonated with them so deeply. It reminds me that even though I'm still perceived a foreigner in my own country (because I'm bi-racial), I can still connect to others like me through games.

One more thing I'll say is that I think BALIKBAYAN has unfortunately given people the impression that I'm very cool, only for them to meet me and realize I'm a dork. Sorry friends, I just write cool games, I'm actually dreadfully uncool.

Spectrum of Horror is a really fun experimental story game, that works well solo and with other people. I try to incorporate using the tarot in a way that's closer to how a tarot deck actually works.

I think this is (one of many) examples of why I would design straight into layout: Spectrum of Horror is technically eight micro games, and each one takes up a single spread. (Of course, a better designer than me could just figure it out with word count or whatever, but there you go)

Also here's a secret: all of the redacted words are still readable. You just have to select and copy the text from the PDF and paste it somewhere else to see what I wrote, heh.

Brinkwood: Despair (still under its original title on my itch page, whoops) means so much to me, because it's my first FAN GAME. I loved someone else's TTRPG just that much that I had to write a prequel for it.

(I LOVE BRINKWOOD SO MUCH THAT I EVEN WROTE ANOTHER GAME FOR IT, but I'll talk about Brinkwood: Refuge another time!)

I think all of my games are games that are in response to other games, really. But Despair has such a special place in my heart because 1) I just LOVE Brinkwood that much 2) I really cherish the playtest memories I have from when I ran games on the Brinkwood discord server 3) Erik has been really generous with inviting other designers to create things in the space of his game.

Despair is almost finished (thanks to @ostrichmonkey-games helping me out on it) and I can't wait for folks to see the finished version!

Shitty Adventurers is here because, like Cozy Town, I think it's one of the few that are so unlike the rest of my games.

I'm not a very funny person. I'm like, your typical serious Capricorn. The best I can manage, only in front of a few people, is dark humor. I'm really shocked I managed to make this game, to be honest. (Tho humor is incredibly subjective, I have no idea if this game is actually really funny)

I think because this game is so outside of my "brand", and comedy TTRPGs aren't in high demand (afaik!), this game tends to get overlooked. Still, I've heard some wonderful stories from folks who've played the game!

Memory Hunter is a prequel to BALIKBAYAN, and it's also another tentative foray into OSR inspired games. I say tentative, but I'm also really proud of the writing and design here! I released Memory Hunter this year recently and it didn't seem to make too much of an impression, but I hope that if I keep working on game expansions that'll change!

There are many reasons I haven't felt comfortable or confident enough to create more games in the OSR space, but over the past year it's become more inviting! I'm really grateful that Tony Vacinda of Plus One EXP immediately offered to publish it (and Tony in general has been one of the most positive forces in the indie ttrpg space, for sure!)

I'm really looking forward to creating more things for Memory Hunter!

#sword queen games #indie ttrpg #ttrpg

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makeitastrength · 2 months

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Kate Beckett 👀 + 2, 3, 12, 21 & 25

Oh my gosh, lemme dig this up out of my brain. It's been a while.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Her growth and overall character arc. To go from buried in tragedy to opening herself up to happiness and love was (a) amazing to watch and (b) so personal to me because I was going through a similar journey myself and seeing her overcome her past helped me to overcome mine.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Season 8 (which, btw, I never actually watched because I heard the premise and noped right outta there). For all the character growth she showed, it made me so angry that she reverted to pushing Castle away and trying to deal with whats-his-name herself.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I am just... stuck on this one. Completely stuck. I ended up going back into my old fics to see if I had anything jotted down or half-written (which... whoops, there are a lot of prompts I never wrote and probably never will). The only thing I could find - and idk if it's even really an answer to this question - is that she still had some PTSD from her shooting and when she got fake shot in 6x01 that triggered a reaction. I always wished they'd played into that more and apparently I have a half-written fic about it.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Favorite: I've written the same answer for this question 3 times today, but it's true no matter what I'm writing: I like to dig into the character's brain and motivations and try to understand how they would react in a certain situation and why.

Dislike: I remember at the time 4x20 and 5x20 (or maybe it was 5x21 or 5x22?) aired there were lots of requests for fix-it fics for those scenes. You know the ones. I wrote fix-it fics for them as best I could given what we had to work with, but I honestly was never 100% happy with them and if I went back and re-read them now I'd probably end up deleting them.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

You know, it's funny, I'm not even sure I remember my first impression of her. I do remember my first impression of Stana, though, which was "wow she's very stiff and not a good actress." Which is hilarious because she's actually incredible and the microexpressions and depth of emotion she displayed brought so much to the character of Beckett.

That was a blast from the past! Thanks for the questions :)

#asked and answered #castle #kate beckett #caskett #chenfordspiral #character ask game

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starsscarmyceiling · 1 year

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Hello! I notice that you are a voracious Merrical shipper! This is a thing we share in common. I'm looking to write a few Merrin/Cal drabbles or shorts. I like to think I'm pretty alright at that part, but not so alright at coming up with initial ideas. Would you care to drop me some prompts you might have rattling around in your brain? I consider my strengths to be romance, fluff, hurt/comfort emotional type stuff. Space Chicken Soup for the Soul or something. Anything that allows me to say something about them as a romantic couple. Thanks!

I MEAN…what gave me away?? LOLOL of courseeeeeee I am a voracious shipper of our fav space ginger jedi and space goth best girl!! I am honored you’d reach out to me for such a thing anon. I do feel like I always just have fic ideas banging around in my head like a bunch of loose not approved space trash, so I would be happy to help! Now, did you want canonverse or AU prompts? Well I am here to give you both like the feral Merrical that I am. (also space chicken soup for the soul I cackled)

I hope you love tropes!

Haha some of these are just a few sentences and some of them are whoops Katie got a little carried away and already wrote out half the fic for you in the most unhinged, blathering manner you’ve ever seen so prepare yourself for that (it’s actually a lot of them so…🙃)

Canonverse:

Canon Compliant:

Alright, who doesn’t love a sexy spy intel fic? Yeah, pretty stereotypical plot, buy HEY listen. Okay, typical gathering intel mission at some cantina somewheres (and they are not together in my mind because of course that makes it more fun). Maybe there’s a drink or two…oh hey maybe even some dancing to appear nondescript…and wow hey they are at just the right place to complete the mission but OH—what is this the people they’re spying on are actually coming right for them WHAT SHOULD THEY DO TO DISTRACT—um come on is this even a question?? I personally think it would be more unexpected and satisfying if Cal were to be the one to initiate it.

Because of course he’s wanted to do this, kiss her like this, feel her like this. He’s kind of surprised he’s held out this long, and he’s nervous, feeling like he’s made a mistake because she’s not responsive, so he’s already formulating his extreme apology once they are in the clear—

He feels her fingertips slowly touch at the skin on his neck as her lips respond to his. The way in which it escalates caused Cal to forget what its intended purpose was because his brain blanked out as her body pressed to his, arms snaking around his neck now as it only seemed natural to wrap his around her… you know, something like that

UM, SPARRING??? Xcuse is there anything better?? A Jedi and a Nightsister can you imagine? It starts off innocent enough, but then hey Bogano is hot—perhaps Cal takes off his shirt, they get competitive trying to one up each other, Merrin takes off her shirt idk and of course there’s gots to be banter banter banter sethy sethy banter sethy, we’re all watching like YO these two want to SMOOSH their FACES TOGETHER RIGHT??? They have a moment, an impasse if you will, where they are very close or are actually just pressed up against one another, or hey maybe even one falls on top of the other—I’m not picky.

They realize they’ve gotten too carried away or crossed a line 🥵—blush blush or lingering lewks—but then they get a hold of themselves. Because hey, that’s a normal thing to do, right? Just have this sexually charged sparring session and brush up against your bud in the process?? I mean, we’ve all been there…

They’re both embarrassed, trying to scurry away to preserve their dignity…Merrin walks away first and then Cal like grunts with his hands in the air like wtfff why didn’t I kiss her??

~Later~ Cal’s beating himself up in his cot, tossing and turning on just how much Merrin means to him because it was weird and awkward for them at dinner and was he really imagining everything that’d built between them?

Cal just can’t let this go and gets up to confront her about it, and he gets up to find her in the hallway walking towards his room, and—he sees her face and automatically deflates because there’s conflict on her face. They again awkwardly kind of be like saying at the same time I’m sorry about that oof whoops I didn’t mean that unless maybe—okay well GNIGHT—

Cal goes back to bed, sits on his bed and sighs, knowing he biffed it again—almost starts spiraling disassociating, and then shakes his head like man wtf am I doing go to her—so he gets up again—he goes up to her door, hyping himself up, but then like two seconds later, Merrin opens it, and they are shocked, they stare, Cal goes in for it—pulls away—they stare—they both go in for it and hehe idk wtf do you think happens after that???????????//

Um, I am envisioning a dynamic where like, there has been some flirtsing between them, but nothing that has really committed to the bit, you know? And then they go on either a mission or go like to a marketplace (somewhere public) wherein one notices how much the other is getting checked out, and they are like ooof wow everyone in this Cantina is seeing how hot they are how could I even have a shot??? Well let me tell YOU babes…you do. you have a shot. You have the most shots. Just…shoot your shot. I feel like there should def be some unintentional swagger going on and the other is like wow why are they being so hot rn…THAT is rude.

They get home…there’s an awkward feeling where they don’t know how to act around them…and the other is like um tf is up with you??? And it’s like they forgot how to be a person around them…what?? What is hUmAN iNteRaCtIon???? Would you I—how do I—*wheezes* Okay the more I write this out the more fun I think it would be for Merrin to be getting all flustered about this (esp because she is usually the one that is seen to be more composed). It’s up to you but come on there is much room for Cal busting out that charm he doesn’t even realize he has and Merrin is just 🥵 swoon. Also him taking off his shirt for no reason or looking hawt while doing Jedi shit. Then she just snaps. We love to see it. Just think about it. I know you are. Please write this shit for us I beg of you.

I also like the thought of Cal looking for something in the mantis, and he accidentally picks up one of Merrin’s things without thinking about it and sees an echo from her. It actually isn’t sad. It’s a happy one, which for some reason seems to only make it worse. He doesn’t exactly know how to address it with her and starts to feel awkward around her. Sometimes he really resents the fact that people’s private moments are just projected into his head. They are tasked to do something together on another planet, where she eventually confronts him on why he is acting weird. He tries to play it off with some lame excuse and she sees right through him and stalks off.

He sighs, setting out to find her, where she is at like an outside café or hell somewhere super secluded. Cal sits down with her without a word. They are silent for a bit, but then he tells her of a happy memory that he has of him and Jaro and their battalion, or maybe something from the temple.

She is happy he’s shared something intimate with her, but then she questions where this is coming from. Then he is pulling something out of his poncho, dropping it into her lap. There are profuse apologies coming from him and tells her what he saw. It was a complete accident. Upon seeing the object, she tells Cal it’s fine she knew he didn’t do it on purpose, but there still seems to be something bothering her.

Cal says how sometimes it’s easy to forget there were better times before this, and thinking about those memories now almost makes them feel tainted.

Merrin tells him that she thought she’d never have another happy memory again. But then she tells him of the first good one she made with him. He smiles, feeling bashful. Merrin says knowing that I still can be happy makes me feel like my past wasn’t for nothing. And I have you to thank for that. They decide they should be getting back and stand…one of them starts to hesitate, and the other notices, asking what is wrong…but then the former approaches them and perhaps they kith I mean of course they kith this is a fanfic after all I mean what else are we doing here.

Who doesn’t love a mission where Cal has taken too long (with Saw or the partisans or whatever), and Merrin is really starting to worry that something bad has happened to him. She can’t feel him through the force and she has devolved into a nervous wreck (up to you what the state of their relationship is at this point). Cere and Greez do their best to try and distract or comfort her. she feels her heart rip apart in her chest because she just cannot go through this again—she’s already lost her sisters and almost lost him too. Him being gone and uncertain of his fate is making her face how she truly feels about him, which makes it only worse.

She is trying to distract herself with practicing her magicks, menial tasks, meditation, sparring techniques that Cal has taught her—which just makes her think of him just like everything eventually does.

And just when she thought she truly was going to lose her mind, resorting to shutting out these feelings she’s only just realized, she feels him, something that is only a flicker compared to how bright he normally feels—and she’s running, she can teleport, but she just wants to chase this feeling of where he is—because if she doesn’t she is just simply going to lose her mind—

There he is, at the top of the ramp, and there is this moment where they meet eyes (and wow our boy could certainly be injured, which could explain why she didn’t feel him before), and they are running towards each other—and wow what a beautiful reunion of DON’T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN and such things. Could have a debriefing session looking over the sunset of Bogano where ✨feelings✨ are discussed. If they aren’t together certainly someone shoving their face into the other for the first time, or if they already are def have the L word thrown around…also there has to be a ‘coming back to you was like coming home’ moment because yes. Should be full of fun timez.

Canon Divergent:

I love love looooove the idea of Merrin has been able to get off Dathomir and becomes a bounty hunter (and Ventress is alive and thriving and living her best life OF COURSE), and perhaps they sometimes work together (it is my own personal HC that these two are aunt and niece together but I digress). And guess who are the most wanted beezies in the galaxy??? JEDI. And there’s a redheaded Jedi going around causing a lot of trouble.

Merrin is on a planet and happens to find him in a Cantina. He fits the description with his build and his hair, despite the hood he is trying to conceal himself with. Perhaps most people would miss him, but not this Nightsister. She follows him to somewhere secluded, and he of course senses her and is like um why are you following me…you know the answer to that, she says. He knows he’s discovered and so don’t we have a FUN Jedi Nightsister brawl. Both catches one another off guard with their abilities…but of course we know who has to get the upper hand if this fic is going to progress.

Cal is captured…there are some fun moments in captivity where Cal is like please don’t do this…do you really want to give the Empire what they want, and she is just like fuming Jedi are liars and selfish thieves bit. Could go a few different directions from here. I like the thought of another group ambushing them, and Cal offers to help and she is like no you are my prisoner and he is like girl would you rather die? So she reluctantly says FINE Jedi—he ends up accidentally touching something of hers in the midst and feels an echo that you know, reveals some sad shit and she is like WTF ARE YOU DOING WE NEED TO GET A MOVE ON IT BUDDY—

They end up having to crash land anyway—perhaps onto an uninhibited planet or one with a small population…Cal saves Merrin, and when she wakes up and realizes what he has done and she is almost resentful. Why would he do such a thing. She takes her anger out on him. And he just takes it all. And it makes her even more angry that he isn’t even reacting to it like he was before.

Eventually when she is done, he tells her that the Jedi weren’t the monsters she was told they were. Perhaps he even busts out the object he touched before and tosses it to her. He apologizes and explains what happened on the ship before he stands, explaining everything that needs to be fixed on the ship.

He’s walking away, but he pauses, idk if you want to bust out the ‘I know what it’s like to lose everything’ line here but I don’t think it would be a bad place. Or at least something to that degree. And you know what progresses after that…(psst, it’s their relationship) Holy shit the more I’ve gotten into this the more I need it please someone write this I may die without it!

(OR—another direction you can go with it is that they are both captured by WHOMSTever and they have to work together to escape…I mean who could truly stop a Jedi and a Nighsister reluctantly working together? I truly pity the fool)

Clone Wars AU where Cal and Jaro are assigned to try and recruit the Nightsisters to try and get the upper hand in the war with Dooku (lol I wouldn’t say exactly a Dark Disciple route but that’s up to you). Merrin is voluntold (the opposite of volunteered) by Mother Talzin to try and become allies with the Jedi (they could have their own shady Nightsister ulterior motive going on as well), and Merrin reluctantly goes with the Jedi. And oooooooOoOooo wow the shenanigans that can ensue from that. (Merrin also has to try really hard not to lose her shit over leaving Dathomir for the first time in her life). I’d imagine a lot of frustrations from both parties. The clones mercilessly make fun of Cal and his Nightsister gf (but they also have to tell him what’s up). He thinks she’s unreasonably obtuse and rude, and she thinks he’s frustratingly smug/arrogant. Merrin could prove to be a definite asset in battle. Cal probably thinks it’s hawt 😳 OH NO SHE’S HOT SEE LOOK HOW WE GOT HERE WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE.

Now suddenly she’s mysterious and complex, and he’s frustrated that he wants to know more. He’s actually the sweetest person she’s ever seen and she’s angry about it. She constantly has to check in with her sisters and it’s getting harder and harder to go behind his back or deny that she maybe might not hate him anymore she maybe even may want to smooch him WOAH who knows. They bond over feeling used in this war. Come on. You got it from here right?

AUs:

Modern:

Idk why this has been in my head but like—(I imagine them as good friends with insane chemistry, well, they always have insane chemistry but you know what I mean), and they are at a party, probably drinking involved, because that could give you some like beer pong shenanigans if you so choose. They have a good fun time, maybe there’s a moment where either one of them (depending on who’s POV you are using) thinks it’s gonna happen. Merrin smiles in just the right way, or Cal says something dorky and adorable like he does, and I mean…they’re in a fanfic, so of course they get INTERRUPTED—

They may either be too tried or too drunk to leave, and they end up both on the couch, and hey at the time it seemed like a perfectly normal thing for them to just fall asleep like that. Cal probably still tries to respect Merrin’s boundaries and though her face is like literal centimeters from his, he tries his best to give her space and awkwardly contorts his body so he is still not touching her. But Merrin still rests her head on his arm anyway, and both of them feel that warmth and rush throughout their bodies because maybe perhaps also Cal tucks her Merrin’s hair behind her ear just before they fall asleep—

AND IN THE MORNING, they’re closer now, both of them in that haze of awakening, their lips are ever so barely touching, BUT THEN—they spring apart. Their eyes are wild on each other and within this space, seconds tick by as the gravity of that sinks in before they give each other one last heated look and then they are just macking on each other let’s GOOOOOOOO

My goodest frond @arosesee (who thought of this and the next three ideas) actually just came up with this one, and I LOVE it. A direct quote from her, “Mom Merrin subbing for Dad Kestis at a PTA meeting I would DIE,” and I mean basically. And I am not even someone who normally goes for fics with kids, but omg I would go feral for this one. Can you imagine? Cal is friends with all the moms and they are just smitten with him, and they are always like so when do we get to meet your wife?

And he’s like lol y’all ain’t ready for that smoke…but then hey Cal gets sick or something and so his goth wife has to step in and demand why they aren’t disciplining her children more I mean do they know who their father is??? And the moms just had no idea what Merrin was about, so they are just a bit surprised. UGH, I would be obsessed. Obsessed.

A stranded island survivor metrical fic could be fun. AHHHHH omg can you imagine all the arguing and the bickering and the 👀 —back to bickering again

“Oooooorrr a one-shot meet cute tourist trap with Merrin working the cash register and Cal the campy decked out tourist tripping over himself cause he doesn't want to be inconsiderate but ohmygod she's so pretty

He like TOTALLY drops his wallet (probably drops it twice)”

He’s like there for a thing—like maybe a family thing with Cere and Greez and it just turns into them constantly running into each other (um should the wallet dropping bit be throughout uh yeah I think so and at the end SHE picks it up akakakakakkakk), and finally she eyes him, sighing, and invites him to the hotel bar or a local spot, basically just yanking him along and Cal is just like okAYYYY 😍

“Ooooh one more idea, both of them are college RAs for the same dorm building, and it's super awkward but FINE during the meeting but then they have to plan weekly socials for the baby freshmen TOGRTHRr and like it's fine like so totally fine”....Narrator: it was not fine

This one was suggested by my boo @galacticsirensong: “Listen I want a carnival AU now with Cal going on the ferris wheel alone cuz his date stood him up. He bought allllll these tickets and doesn’t wanna waste them. So he decides to hop on the ride but the carnie operator is like yelling into the crowd STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT UP! ANYONE WANNA GO FOR A RIDE WITH THIS GINGER? WE GOT A LONELY GINGER, LADIES!! ANY TAKERS??

Merrin is like at her aunt’s palm reading tent nearby (see this is where I continue to push forward that Asajj is Merrin’s aunt agenda leave me alone). She overhears the ruckus and notices Cal is completely mortified. So she just squeezes through the narrow gaps of people, goes up the steps, takes a ticket from Cal and hands it to the operator without a word.”

Cal barely has time to register her before she sits down and starts moving, and he like clears throat um--

Merrin’s just like I hate this ride operator he’s always trying to embarrass people like that so I am doing this out of spite

Then they kind of notice one another may be cute and well Cal’s stumbling over his words like he do, and Merrin pretends not to be flustered by it because she is into that shit, and once the ride is over....Merrin’s just like well let’s spend the rest of these tickets

Because you know, out of spite for Cal being stood up

AND THAT’S IT

Harry Potter:

Either them being students or teachers. But Cal is a NERD happy go lucky Hufflepuff and Merrin is a typical broody Slytherin. Perhaps they have to work together either on curriculum or a class project, and neither are really that happy about it. I could see Cal trying to be overly positive about the situation just to be able to get through this because she is such an edgelord, and Merrin could take it as him being insincere or fake. (IF they are students, you can play around with Merrin rolling her eyes at Cal being a teacher’s pet, but then at the same time she is a total know it all LOL).

(ALSO could Cal still have his psychometry powers I know this an AU but come on it’s a crossover we do what we want who is to say an Earth wizard can’t do such a thing)

They could come from tragic pasts that they are very reluctant to share…but somehow they manage to start…getting along? Lol I love the thought of them rolling their eyes at the other houses like omfg Ravenclaws are such know it alls or the Gryffindors are such bruts. Maybe there’s Quidditch involved…only adding to the rivalry. But that is for YOU to decide, isn’t it???

Old West:

Sorry I am on some Red Dead Redemption shit but I simply cannot help myself but to shove all of my favorite things together alright. (@namesonboats I am looking at chuuu 🤠) Cal is apart of some kind of roaming squad (IF you chose a band of outlaws I wouldn’t be opposed), and they are in this one town for a bit. He starts to go to a general store where a Russian aunt and niece run it, and a lot of people just assume Merrin doesn’t even speak any English and dismiss her a lot of the time. But maybe he’s seen her at one of the saloons or tending to one of her horses and thinks that there’s more to her than what she is presenting to the world (and lol she is prettyyyy 😍)

He goes into the store with Greez one day, and he ends up asking Merrin something, and Greez is like lol why do you bother she isn’t going to answer you. Cal is like pssssh this girl is trolling all of you I just know it. Merrin looks at him like he’s grown a second head, and then Asajj comes out and starts to put on the charm and Merrin just yeets right out of there.

Perhaps Cal was wrong. Maybe she didn’t understand him, but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t want to get to know her. So he just continues to go to the store anyway and keeps talking to her all the time (We all know the boy can ramble let’s go). Maybe he even runs into her at other parts of town, or even on the outskirts where she’s taken her horse out, and he happens upon her while he’s on his. She does some target practice with a pistol and he’s impressed. He wished he at least knew her name.

There’s a Russian woman in their group, and Cal asks her about a few Russian phrases, to which she complies, but then asks why. Cal is all SUPER red and is just like LOL NO REASON K THX BYEEEE!

Cal goes into the shop, tries out a phrase or two, attempts a hello and asks her how she is doing. He feels like he is making a fool of himself, but then he swears out of the corner of his eye he sees her smirk. He asks her name in Russian, and she sighs…so Cal assumes he’s asked her wrong he clearly couldn’t remember it right and looks at the ground. “Merrin,” she says. His heart races. Asajj comes out and interrupts them OF COURSE.

The gang wants to move on soon, but Cal isn’t ready to let go. It seems silly because practically every interaction they’ve had have been one sided conversations, but he still goes to the store nonetheless and tells her they are going to be leaving. She looks at him poignantly, and he still just doesn’t know if she’s pretending or really doesn’t understand. He dips his cowboy hat to her and tells her it was nice meetin’ ya milady dasvidaniya.

Merrin shouldn’t be disappointed in the American man who came into her shop all the time to annoy her, really it doesn’t matter. How could it? He was really just a nuisance more than anything else, that Calvin ‘Cal’ Kestis.

But, he was truly the only person that she could recall in what feels like a lifetime that looked her in her eyes, talked to her like a person, even if it was at annoying constancy. And GD he even learned some Russian just for her...but she tries to just forget about that handsome, redheaded cowboy all the same.

Merrin is tasked to travel to a few towns over to pick up a delivery for the store, and after the long journey wherein she is going to have to spend the night anyway, so she decides to go to one of the saloons. She rolls her eyes as she sips at her whiskey because more than one man has approached her and thought she was a hooker.

A brawl breaks out and she rolls her eyes harder. Stupid men. All of them were just children.

But then this man comes in the middle of it and tries to break it up. His voice sounds familiar, but she thinks he’s hearing things. She tries to tune it out, but notices he gets punched anyway, and his hat flies off. Yeah, no there was no denying that red hair. She wants to leave, but she can’t; she’s stuck on her stool. Once the fight finally ceases, Cal is with that small man he came into the store with sometimes as he retrieves his hat. He talks with the short man, and she thinks he’s going to leave, and he is just going to be lost to her again, but then he seems to stay for another drink, probably wanting to nurse that black eye he’s no doubt going to get.

He sits at one of the stools and downs a drink. Oh lordt should she go up to him now? After everything she’s lost, it seemed ridiculous to do such a thing, but she finds her feet moving of her own volition. Oh GOD what is she even going to say.

“That is quite the punch you took,” she says, sitting down next to him, “I probably have something in my supplies that could help with that.”

Cal whips his head to her and quickly voices her name, which she was certain he was going to forget. And he seemed most certainly shocked that yes she does indeed know English and has this whole time.

There’s smiles all around as he offers to buy her a drink and she accepts. But she also has to make fun of how terrible his Russian was.

Lol was that enough of the plot for you. AND I MEAN GD I’VE DONE IT AGAIN—

Treasure Hunters:

SHUT UP NO I AM NOT JUST THINKING OF ALL MY FAV VIDEO GAMES THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH UNCHARTED GET THAT THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD. Cal and Greez are a typical team that also work a lot with Cere.

For this new job, they have to go to Russia for like whatever treasure is there, and Cere has recruited a new member, a surly woman named Merrin that was apparently an expert in Russian history and treasure and all of that (maybe even chemistry or something too because our girl is SMORT). But she is mean and yeah maybe he thinks it’s a little hot but that is besides the point. Why is she even here him and Greez have always gotten along just fine. Do they have to steal something from a Russian big wig crime boss, yeah most probably. Merrin looks WAY too sethy 🥵 in her dress as she tries to distract the men Cal needs to get around…they get caught of course and wooo, calamity ensues.

They get to the location, and whenever they have to make camp, she is always off by herself, even when Cere invites her to sit with them.

Come on this is also a PERFECT opportunity for Cal to show off some parkour skills. And Merrin doesn’t notice them. No, she doesn’t notice them at all she is adamantly not looking—dammit, she looked.

They get deeper and deeper into this job. Cal opens up about how he was an orphan and Greez took him in when they are checking out one of the rooms in this abandoned site. He doesn’t really know why he’s telling her this, but he’s just caught her sad face too many times for him to not think about what was going on in her head. But she’s made it clear she’s only here for the job and doesn’t really care about any of them, so this whole venture was useless anyway.

They still bicker, oH LORDT do they fight about everything. Cere and Greez just assume they are going to bone if they haven’t already. Cal gets all defensive when Greez asks about it like NO…where did you even GET that from omG.

They find the underground area they’ve been trying to get to…and of COURSE the gang gets separated. Cal and Merrin end up in a room they can’t find their way out of. They are STUCK. WtF Cal is stuck with this grump and Merrin is stuck with this way too enthused arrogant asshole—

They try all their options and argue the whole time. They don’t know how long they’ve been stuck in here, but Cal still insists she has the last of the water. And she insists he has the last protein bar. Maybe there was only one bed roll you never know....

Merrin doesn’t know why, but she opens up to him about how she got into all of this. Her mother, that is how her parents met in this deathtrap of an industry, was always fascinated in this treasure in particular. In some sort of stupid way, she thought she was honoring her…it sounds stupid now.

It doesn’t sound stupid, Cal declares.

And look at that they have to WoRk ToGEtHeR to get out and there haaas to be close proximity and touching for that to happen. Come on now I know you have it in you. SOOOOO, yeah that was that one.

Was that enough?? I am so freaking sorry that I pretty much wrote out like almost all the plot to like…most of these. I would start with an idea and before I knew it—I was several paragraphs deep and what is my life. No excuses…I have no way to defend myself…don’t look at me

ANYONE out there, please, if any of these ideas inspire you, take them and roll with it! You in no way are obligated to follow my outlines directly. Take it, make it your own, or follow my plot, IDC, as long as we are getting some more Merrical content out there! Hell, you could even do a combination, a continuation, whatever you want! I was having a pretty shitty week, so this was honestly a fun distraction for me to put together. I can’t believe I went this insane...but actually no I am not.

And if anyone has any more ideas, don’t be shy! Comment on this post, DM me, or write into my ask box. I would love to get your thoughts out there for all of us to see! I am like so thrilled about the amount of Merricals coming out from the woodwork. YESSS, these space nerds just belong together no matter the universe! So I really hope this helped you anon! Would love to add to this list with all y’alls ideas!

Also, if any of you wanted to bounce these ideas or any other ideas you had, also please don’t hesitate to reach out! I am always here to have a fic sesh, believe you me.

Alright, well.. I’ve rambled long enough for the next 500 years, I’ll just…see myself out.

And I am just going to tag some of my Merrical peeps (and ones I know that are around even if we haven't talked before) if you guys are at all interested in writing or contributing! 🥰

@namesonboats @believe-in-alderaan @misfitz-7 @myfaenwy @starryjediknight @dolcid @wayfaringjedi @separatist-apologist @mistressorinoco

#ooooof wow #i perhaps might have ran a little wild with this one folks #or maybe a lot #but like??? hopefully some of these may inspire you????#i certainly hope so #i think i put out a nice plethora #a smattering if you will #anyway #let's go merricals let's GOOOO!!!#i expect to see a lot more fics in the ao3 tag now #lol jk no pressure but that would be awesome #okay genuinely will stfu now #calmerrin #cal x merrin #merrical #merrical fanfic #fanfic #merrical fic recs #ask

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smol-bean-boi13 · 8 months

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OKAY I HAD THIS CRAZY 5 MIN DREAM LAST NIGHT ABT ECHO RAPH AND A BABY. CRAZY RIGHT? WANNA KNOWS WHATS EVEN CRAZIER? I WROTE A WHOLE ASS 19 PAGE STORY ABT IT FOR A DAY. I HAVE GONE PLACES.

Anyways here's the story lol. (It's is super long I am not joking) (super unrendered and angsty so read at your own risk)

Raph comes rushing into the lair one night, beaten and out of breath. Holding something making a lot of noise. Of course this wakes everyone up.

"Raph- What the hell-?!" a very drowsy Leo groans.

"Raph. What happened." Deadpans Donnie, straight to the point, as always. Mikey gasps when he sees the scrapes on his brothers body.

"Guys, guys! Give Raph some space! Jeez!" The turtle in question exclaims.

"Red? Is that... a baby?" splinter asks with a surprised look on his face.

Everyone in the room goes silent.

Except for Raph, he still breathing hard, but not dying so it's fine.

Raph lifts part of the dirty blanket holding the baby.

Everyone has their own reaction.

Leo's wasn't the best one.

"Raph!! Why the hell would you bring a baby to the sewers?!?" Leo whisper-yells.

Raph's face turns sullen as he looks a the now sleeping baby in his arms.

"His mother was killed." He says as his brow furrows in sadness.

"Oh no..." Mikey whispers.

"She was on the way home, and some muggers tried to take her purse. Obviously she fought back. But It was already too late when I heard the gunshot." Raph continued.

"What the muggers didn't realize was that she was holding a baby and not a purse. I was... I was so angry!"

A pause.

"I beat them up. Then I took the baby and ran here." Raph finishes.

Everyones face has changed into one of horror and sadness.

Raph sniffles, "I... I didn't know what to do..."

Splinter is the one who speaks up first, "My son..." he holds his arms out and closes the distance between them.

Raph's lip quivers as he kneels down to be hugged by his father.

His brothers join the hug, Raph sobs quietly.

...

Echo creeps into the lair, just to check up on her family. And Raph, especially Raph.

She closes her hand around Raph's, and silently notices the bandages scattered on his body. She breaths in his familiar scent, and looks worriedly at his puffy eyes.

What happened to you? She thinks to herself.

Then they hear the faint sound of crying.

Raph starts to stir, but echo calms him back down, "shh, shh, it's okay baby. I've got it, go back to sleep."

He obliges and goes back to sleep.

Echo finds the source of the noise very quickly. And gasps when they realizes what it is.

"A baby..." they whisper.

She carefully picks up the crying child and brings it closer to her chest.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay. I'm here." She hums as she gazes into its soft green eyes.

The baby calms down a little, and Echo realizes it might be hungry. So she makes her way over to the kitchen to find some formula.

She soon returns to the crib she found the baby at, and thinking to herself wow that was easy, must've been a plot convenient time skip.

She shifted their weight from foot to foot in a swaying motion as the baby drank the formula. She gazed at its eyes once more, as their eyelids drooped closed.

"What are you doing."

Echo jumped at the accusation. She turned to look at Donnie.

"Oh Donnie, it's you" she said with a sigh of relief

"You didn't answer my question."

"Oh. right, right, right, sorry" Echo waves her open hand In a 'whoops my mistake' kind of gesture, "I just wanted to check on you guys"

"And Raph?"

"yeah, and Raph." Echo blushes.

The two of them stood in silence, the third was still drinking from their bottle.

"What happened?" Echo asks after a long enough minute.

Donnie looks away from echo for a moment then answerers her question.

"I'll let Raph explain it to you."

Echo turns around and looks at their bandaged and bruised boyfriend, staring back at her with an slightly open mouth.

They both stay like that, staring, each having their own reaction to the sight of one another.

Raph is the one to speak up first, "you look beautiful."

"And thats my cue to leave" Donnie turns on his heel and quicky heads back towards his lab.

Echo exhales through their nose and rolls her eyes. This gets a chuckle out of Raph.

"So, about the baby," Raph starts.

"Ohh yes about the baby, you better start explaining yourself mister Red Angel of Preventing Harm." Echo says sarcastically.

Raph brings the hastily made crib over to the couch so both turtles can watch the child but still talk. Echo lays the now sleeping baby down in the crib.

Once Raph and Echo sit down, Echo's expectant eyes stare deeply into Raph's waiting for an explanation.

"So I was on patrol-" Raph starts.

Jokes aside, Raph thoroughly explained the baby's story, and by the end of it Echo was being held by their partner as she stared at the baby with a newly found sorrow.

"That's what happened?" Echo croaked softly.

"Yeah..." Raph was involuntarily rubbing Echo's shoulder as a way of comforting both echo and himself.

Raph stayed silent as Echo was processing the new information he gave her.

"Are you guys keeping her?" Echo asked softly.

Raph's throat made a rumbling sound, "No, Donnie says she wouldn't be safe if she stayed with us."

Echo pressed closer to Raph's body, and squeezed his bicep has she turned her head away from the crib.

"I know, I know, baby" Raph solemnly soothes.

"I... why..." Echo didn't have the right words to express how she felt, so all she could do was cry into her boyfriend's bandaged bicep.

Raph pulls her closer to his body, so no one would see her weakness sadness.

...

They don't know how long they've been up talking untill Mikey walks into the room.

"Oh, you guys are up early" Mikey says, surprised.

Raph whips his head around to look at his younger brother, "it's morning already?!?" He exclaimes.

Echo and Raph were previously watching the baby and letting her explore Echo's various scars and markings. Enjoying the little baby noises she makes sometimes.

The baby squeals, mimicking Raph's outburst.

"And you too!" Mikey coos, walking over to the couch to play with the baby's fingers.

Mikey looks back at the two older turtles and asks, "long night?"

"Didn't feel like it" Echo replies with a weak shrug.

Mikey does a double take as his eyes land on the dark circles surrounding his siblings eyes.

"Uh huh, and I have three arms" Mikey says sarcastically.

Raph snorts.

"But seriously, you guys need sleep." He deadpans.

"Ok ok we will, Mr. Wakes up at ungodly hours of the morning" Raph shoots back.

Mikey sticks out his tounge and picks up the baby and walks away.

Echo tilts their head back and stares drowsily at Raph's eyes. Raph looks down to stare at hers in turn.

"Yeah we do need sleep." Echo chuckles and starts to get up when Raph stops them.

"Ah ah ah, you need more sleep than I do. Please, allow me, my queen." Raph humbles.

Echo giggles, "Pip pip good knight"

They both giggle at their sleepy roleplay. Mikey smiles and rolls his eyes in the other room.

Raph carries his larger partner to his room and jokingly drops her on his bed. Echo exclaimes joyfully as her boyfriend playfully growls and crawls into bed.

"What a terrible knight! 0 out of 5 stars" Echo exclaims in a posh accent.

"Well, perhaps my lady needed a different kind of service" Raph replies in a similar accent.

"And what kind of service is that?" Echo questions.

"The best kind" Raph smiles and churrs into her plastron.

Echo churrs back in response, sleep overtaking her eyelids.

"Mmmmh yes, the best kind..." Echo trails off.

They both fall asleep in each other's arms. cheesy, yes I know, but it's cute and I like it so there.

*The end*

Oh you made it to the end? Good for you buddy, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. (Lol thanks fr sticking w/ it)

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bettsfic · 1 year

Text

2022 in writing

whoops, i wrote this at the end of december, put it in my drafts, and forgot about it. this is my seventh year writing a recap and i just read through all of them again. part of me thinks, "it's been 7 years and i haven't accomplished a fraction of what other writers have in that same time." but then the other part of me remembers 1) other writers are on their own path and working at their own speed, and 2) it's unfathomable to me how utterly mentally fucked i used to be. and i mean, i'm still mentally fucked but at least i'm working on getting better. the point is, i had a different starting line than others.

anyway, it's a new year and that means it's time to think to myself for the 7th year running, "dear god when am i going to publish a book." every year i think, this is going to be my year! every year it isn't.

overcame the worst writers' block i've ever had

"overcame" is making it sound more dramatic than it was. i went on a medication that fucked with my brain and then went back off it. but i worry that when i think back on 2022, i'm not going to remember all this cool stuff i did, i'm going to remember how utterly miserable i was for six months. how terrifying it was to feel like someone else was living in my body. i wrote a little bit about it in october's newsletter.

some of this post i've copied over from my newsletter.

but also i have to acknowledge that when i came back to writing, it felt like my brain had been totally rewired and i feel capable, creatively, of about 10x more than i used to be capable of. i'm still trying to articulate what changed and why.

published some things

“shut up and kill me” -- featured in issue 41 of Barren Magazine. the editor who chose it said it was his favorite of the 700+ submissions they received. very happy this weird story has found its home. please heed the warnings!

“coping skills” -- featured in issue 1 of Flossy Lit Mag, a magazine my friends started and which has some great work in it already.

("not if, when" was published january of this year, so it'll go in next year's update)

published other people's things

in 2022, ofic magazine published 33 prose pieces and 3 art pieces! over half of what we accepted came from not yet published authors and you have no idea how happy that makes me.

won a grant

i’m very very excited to say i won the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund grant to help offset the travel expenses of the residency i attended! i’ve been applying to this for years and it’s amazing to have been awarded it. the judges had a lot of lovely things to say about my work and it was a big confidence boost.

did a residency

i spent a month in beautiful Wyoming at the Jentel Arts residency. i met some wonderful artists, got a lot of work done, and had an amazing time. definitely the highlight of my year.

made the top 10 of a big contest

i submitted "Not If, When" to a screenwriting website hosting a prose contest, and out of what seemed to be a lot of submissions, i was a top 10 finalist, and now my story is being pitched to production studios to see if they want to buy the film/tv rights. i've also had a few phone calls with hollywood people wanting to talk to me about my work (i'm still confused about that) and i think they've gone well. no idea what the endgame is here though.

ran other workshop

i intended to run two fanauthor workshops but i only managed one, because of the whole "just gritting my teeth trying to stay alive" thing. but the one i ran i think went really well!

coaching/editing is my job now

i didn't think too much of that until i met with my thesis advisor to get caught up and she was like, wow that's the dream. and she invited me to be a panelist for the annual publishing symposium at my alma mater.

i'm not getting rich or anything, but i've picked up enough commercial copywriting work to make ends meet.

applied/submitted to a few places

totals:

11 residencies (8 rejections, 2 rejections with encouraging feedback, 1 acceptance)

4 publications (1 encouraging rejection, 3 acceptances)

1 award (1 acceptance)

2 screenwriting-ish contests (1 rejection, 1 finalist placement)

this has been far and away my most successful submission year. 6 major wins!

wrote 421k words

what's extra wild about this word count is that ~400k of it was across 6 months. from january 1 to june 16, i wrote only 22k words. and then from june 17 to december 31, i wrote the rest. and for the finished works, this doesn't include their respective trash docs (where i put everything i cut from a story). if i add in those, it's an additional ~90k.

year over year word count comparison:

2022: 421k

2021: 183k

2020: 375k

2019: 430k

2018: 450k

2017: 150k

2016: 343k

2015: 250k

2014: 311k

nine year total: 2,913,000

& other stuff

i really advocated for my mental health this year and i'm super proud of that. i mean dealing with my brain was basically a full-time job and i've come to accept i'll be spending my entire life micromanaging my own head, but for now things are okay

unfortunately i got a diagnosis that wasn't what i expected, that seems mostly correct, and which i'm having trouble accepting

i moved into an apartment with my best friend and it's going really well so far

the only travel i did was to missouri to visit family, and to wyoming for my residency

2022 goal recap (from 2021)

sell a book any book dear god -- got close, but nope

finish a draft of a new novel -- big nope

get an apartment -- yep! and it's great

publish 3 issues of OFIC -- yes and i'm very proud of them

publish 12 newsletters -- no, published 5 newsletters

run a successful Fanauthor Workshop -- yep! 2 sessions out of my goal of 4

write a proposal for a fanfiction craft book -- no, but i talked to my agent about it and now we're working on it together

write a script (pilot or feature) and submit to contests -- yes but it was Bad and i've gotta, you know, make it not bad

2023 goals

these are going to be remarkably similar to last year's, considering it's all just stuff that's been set in motion.

SELL A BOOK

finish a new novel (it's february and i've already kind of done this, but still putting it on here)

publish 4 issues of ofic mag

publish at least 6 newsletters

build the 2024 ofic press catalogue

apply for nonprofit status

run 4 workshop sessions

submit nonfiction proposal

build a script portfolio (feature, pilot, spec)

find a healthy balance between writing and living

annual thank you!

despite how badly i derailed for the first half of the year, i'm really grateful to fandom, readers, and all the friends i've made here for your support and encouragement, without which i wouldn't have been able to do any of this.

prior year recaps: 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

#writing update #2022

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whatevertheweather · 1 year

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Thank you @you-remind-me-of-the-babe and @aristocratic-otter for the tags!

Not to say this every time I do a tag game, but I’m super late to this party. In fact so late that I wasn’t going to do it, but then I kept thinking about it, so hi everyone, here’s a throwback to when all of you did this a million years ago.

Rules: list your top 10 most kudos’d fics on AO3, followed by your own personal top 10.

AO3 Top 10:

1. Bite Me (M; 27.6k)

2. A Restless Mind (T; 21k)

3. Keep It Down (E; 5k; co-written with @fatalfangirl)

4. The Space In Between (M; 101k)

5. Caprine Attire (T; 18.4k)

6. For The Turtles (T; 17.9k)

7. Just A Prank (T; 5k)

8. The Definition of Platonic (T; 5.7k)

9. Archery 101 (M; 13k; co-written with @you-remind-me-of-the-babe)

10. Raining Cats and Dogs (Without the Cats) - (T; 4.9k)

My my. This is all going to get rather rearranged.

My Top 10:

1. The Space In Between: Surprising absolutely no one, TSIB is still my number one favorite thing I’ve written, and it will always be terribly dear to me. I cannot overstate the impact it had on my writing and my...overall joy. I’ve made an edited and formatted version to put on my Kindle and I reread it more than I should.

2. Bite Me: Okay we can all agree on this one apparently. There are several fics I’m struggling to pick between for spots 2 through 4, but this one earns this place for the amount of fun I had writing it. And posting it. The enthusiasm it received was wonderful and it made me feel wonderful.

3. Brazen (M; 10.9k): My least popular fic! I love it so. I also understand that it’s not for everyone, and that’s valid. I have in fact had a couple moments myself of, “Wow I. I really did write that huh.” But listen, over the past few months I have consumed no less than four separate pieces of (fairly popular) fiction that have all equally inspired me to say, “Yeah that’s fucked up. Brazen really ain’t shit huh.” So. Anyway, it’s so much fun to write them being feral, an excellent pastime, can’t recommend it enough. That’s why I’m writing more of it.

4. The Smokescreen (T; 18k): Surprising absolutely everyone, myself most of all, I’m actually putting my third least popular fic in fourth place! The surprise there is that not so long ago, this was number one for my least favorite of my fics. Now, to be fair to the fic (and Selkie, who did the wonderful art and gave the prompt for CORB), my problem with it was very much me and the state of my brain when I was working on it. Point being that by the time I posted, I was so sick of writing it that I never wanted to read it again. But many months passed, and I thought, “Fine, I’ll give it a try,” and I actually didn’t hate it. In fact I liked it. In fact I’m a little proud of it. In fact I think of it semi-regularly in a fond way. (It also gets bonus points for the tag “Antagonistic Flirting,” because that is Baz at his best.)

5. A Restless Mind: This one still makes me feel soft and warm because it’s soft and warm and also the first fic I ever wrote. I have a very vivid memory of pulling my laptop out one night, opening a blank document, typing “I,” and then saying “nope, nope, can’t do it” and closing everything. Several months after that, I was still thinking about it and decided I could do it if I went with third person. And I did. And now my Ao3 word count is 280,836. Whoops.

6. For The Turtles: This one makes me soft and fuzzy in a similar but slightly different way, because it’s silly and fun and it was the first fic I ever posted. Which also means it’s the first time I ever experienced the straight shot of endorphins that comes with reading a beta’s comments of laughter and positivity in a document I was super nervous about sharing. So thank you again, Jess.

7. Caprine Attire: Again with the nostalgic and happy elements of the two fics above this. This is a sequel to For The Turtles that was never meant to exist, but it insisted on existing before I even decided to post FTF. I had a lot of fun with it, it still makes me laugh, and I remember very clearly the moment I wrote “Simon (1:12 pm): is it tyrannus basilton grimm pitch the fifth? or tyrannus the fifth basilton grimm pitch?? tyrannus five: the empire strikes backilton grimm pitch???”, cackling, and then saying, “Oh fuck, I have to post the first one now.”

8: Just A Prank: Another I had good fun with. I wrote it in a night, so it’s bite-sized and full of pranks and uni boys being stupid and also kissing. Just a good time.

9. The Definition of Platonic: Sweet, fluff, domesticity, friends-to-lovers, it’s cozy and feel-good. I depleted my stores of cutesy romantic feelings for this, but they’re refilled now, so all is well and I can reread it without huffing.

10. Raining Cats and Dogs (Without the Cats): Again, I just had a lot of fun writing this, and it’s nice and sweet and carries a lot of fond memories for me of my dog and rain and all that good stuff. Also I will always stan liar!Simon.

Please note that the exclusion of co-written fics is not a reflection of my affection for them, but is rather, of course, for the fact that I didn’t write them alone <3

I’m pretty sure literally everyone has done this by now, but I don’t know who for sure so I’m tossing out some tags for @artsyunderstudy @martsonmars @bookish-bogwitch @urban-sith anyway and seeing what bites.

#I tell ya what the violence in brazen is a stroll through a field of flowers in comparison to the last book I read #anyway y'all I'm baffled by the smokescreen #there's a song that I ONLY listened to in the 2 months I wrote that and then never again and it made number 5 on my spotify wrapped #that's how much time I spent angrily staring at my screen #really thought I'd never wanna read it again #anyway off to disappear again #my writing #my fic

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draconixiaa · 3 months

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tired but i'll do a bit of this (will be a bit rambly:D)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24,, wow not bad

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

165.5k wow thats a lot,, most of it comes from one tho; everything else are shortfics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

DSMP and ive just started a bit of genshin at the behest of my Tartaglia-obsessed irl and he's kinda cool but like for 95% of my other fics its all cdream ahahahhh(dies)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

"Consequences" tops the charts obviously bc its my one and only longfic and it was written during the peak of dsmp and man id link it bc i love my storyline (cdream obviously gets messed up in prison but then gets a healing arc) there but at the same time i feel like the writing had too many grammar mistakes and could be better so nahh

"North Star to Freedom" is one im actually really proud of, like obviously the writing could be better bc ive improved, but i just like it and id deffo rewrite it too if i had time or steal it into an original fic (premise is that cdream escapes prison with the rebibe book and oh lord my lingo anyways (spoilers) he dies and he gives techno book)

"Persevere" is third, wow that's a long time ago, its alright, i like it in general, but it feels almost cheesy. idk. i like it, but i dont like it. its not mixed feelings, but eh. anyways, something about cdream getting captured by the egg which is about to take over the world but he sacrifices himself to cleanse it. the most acute thing i rember about it is that its a 3parter

"Coup de Grace" ok wth i didnt expect this to be on there it was a small little cdream suffering in prison and cphil comes over, sees him in pain, and cough relieves him of it, and i dont like the writing in a specific part of it, but i like it in some other parts, so eh

"turn the claret tides" whoops i forgot what this one was about ok i glanced through the doc its ctechno getting cdream out of prison wow that title was really vague but he gets the letter and things went on.. it was inspired by another fic and happened during the hype of the prison arc which is kinda cool

(man im looking at the amount of fics i want to rewrite but it aint happening sadge)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, most of the times nowadays, if it particularly made my day or it has something deep and insightful or literally makes any observation on my fic. sometimes im just too tired to answer,, maybe laziness is a part of it too, but i stare and its like,, i cant generate a response . but nowadays, i do it most of the times bc i appreciate my commenters :D

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my recent fics mostly have happy endings, but all my pre-like, mid 2023 fics were all sad sad sad. they all ended in cdream dying, one way or the other. so idk which ones the saddest now its been too long,, the one i personally think is the saddest is one that i like, was listening to sad music to, the song being 'sociopath,' an orchestral piece (or was it piano?)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

consequences

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

once on consequences bc that was max cdream apologists vs inniters era

9. Do you write smut?

nop never ever ever

10. Do you write crossovers?

dream + tartaglia is one i wrote in fudging october that i am still trying to find time to continue

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

prob not, if there is, then i wouldnt know of it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, if there was, i also dont know of it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

wow thats crazy that i havent, but idk, teamwork and coordination just go meh when i only share my interests with online people

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

idk i dont do ships but my fav friendship is dream + techno or dream + punz

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

all my chapter continuations except the tartaglia + dream one i Need to finish that. but also the palace of stone idea will Never Ever get written

16. What’s your writing strengths?

descriptions idk they go lengthy but ive practiced with them a lot so ive gotten kinda good

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, pacing, idk literally everything, i can prob improve on anything and every aspect of my writing rn, and i just need to practice more

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DSMP lmao

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

consequences i love the storyline + ending of that one even if the writing couldve been better

uhh tagging? idk if theres anyone that doesnt overlap wiht people whove been tagged b4 les see: @milktearosethorn , @victoriacoffee , ,, oh theres only two ok well, have fun if u decide to do this!

#drac thinks #and im so sleepy and tired today was busyyyy

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fizzingwizard · 5 months

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The skin on my hands is so dry and chapped. That's normal, it's winter, but it's never been this bad before. It's cracked so much there are actual cuts, and since I have to use alcohol spray regularly (because part of my job is changing diapers and other lovely toddler life stuff), it's literally painful.

Last year my coworker gave me a set of Disney princess hand creams for my birthday x'D I never used hand cream before, but since my skin's so bad, I pulled it out and tried the Ariel one (bc she was my fav when I was a little girl). Wow, hand cream is amazing! My hands instantly felt better. They were dry again by the end of the day but I was like yay, I get to put hand cream on again! Also my hands smell so lovely now haha.

Why didn't I know the magic of hand cream before? Well, like I said, I would get dry skin but never this bad, so there wasn't a reason. Also, Idk but my dad really raised me to be suspicious of... anything that says it'll do anything. Medicine says it'll get rid of your runny nose? It's lying to get your money. Coupon says buy one get two free? It's a scam to make you pay for stuff you wouldn't have bought otherwise. School says taking this course will look good on your college application? They just want students to take the course.

It's not like he was wrong - unethical capitalism, which is, uh, what we've got, is very prone to totally legal scams. But what I have found as an adult is... things work a lot more often that I expect they will. Things do what they say they will a large part of the time. I think it's the impact of my dad, who learned these lessons of caution as an adult, teaching them to me when I was an impressionable little kid and didn't have the experience to differentiate between what was scammy and what wasn't. It's helped in some ways because I don't tell to buy things just because they're on sale if I don't have a need for them. But it's also made me wary of buying anything unless I absolutely need it.

My mom has been a big part of making my expectations more reasonable. Like my dad, she's cautious, but her big thing is "do some research first." My dad was never about that, he wanted to drive home the risk of scams, not how to avoid them. And my mom, back then, didn't teach us about that stuff. I don't even know how much my dad intended to teach - I think it's more his personality to just talk about whatever he's thinking. If he's bothered because a mechanic ripped him off, he's going to tell his eight-year-old kid about it. My mom, however, wouldn't do that, even though she'd probably also have a useful story of how she then looked around, talked to people, and found a good mechanic. Now that I'm an adult she is more forthcoming.

And for what's it's worth, my dad is a lot more laid back now lol. Like he used to be Lord of the Thermostat. Didn't matter how cold I was, "just put on a sweater." But now, he just turns up the thermostat himself... I was absolutely shocked. Imagine the house being warm in the middle of winter! But what about the electric bill?? So, what changed? well, he got older, so now he feels the cold at least as much as me and my mom do :P

Me: I'm gonna write a silly post about how I discovered the wonders of hand cream teehee everyone will laugh. Oh no, my hand slipped and I wrote a reflective memoir on my childhood and my relationship with my parents instead... again... whoops.

#fizz's life

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victoriousscarf · 6 months

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For the "get to know your fic author!" 2. 13. 69.? Also I swear I didn't go automatically to question 69 I was genuinely interested in that and only noticed it's the funny number afterwards :'3

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Listen I'm lucky if I have an outline that's just a list of "things I can't forget before the story moves on." I will have a vague notion of "these are 3-4 scenes I need to do nextish" but always with room for them to go off the rails or somewhere totally different.

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

I mean I feel like the obvious one is just write. Like don't stop, don't edit, just write and figure it out later. You'll have a lot of fuckery doing this but you'll also /write./

Also a more obscure bit that I think about sometimes: when I was in 6th grade our teacher made us do these worksheets for everything we wrote where we would have to write down the first word of every line and every paragraph and then like, what type of word it was (noun/verb/etc). I hated doing it at the time but I think about it a lot while writing like whoops too many "he's" in a row lets mix it up.

69. What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

I mean, the shit I wrote when I was 13 is the most basic answer lmao. I semi-recently went through and yanked it all off ff.net onto Ao3 and took so much mental damage just from copying and pasting it.

But also more generally as a creator you're always going to have things you regret, or things you thought sounded cool at the time that now make you want to die when you think about (Like sorta messing up Nick Fury back in 2012 because it was easy to make him a bit of an antagonistic dick and in hindsight that's not really right but the whole fandom really turned it into a Phil vs Nick thing for a while and the first time I tried to write a cross-dressing character who was probably more of a drag queen than transgender but good lord someone should have taken that away from me a decade ago.)

So I'm not giving you specific fics but like as concepts I have things that looking back make me hide behind my fingers but also you're always gonna end up with bits like that as a writer. It's a good thing when you can look back and be like, wow that was a choice. It means you've grown and will probably do better next time.

#vs does a meme

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megaawkwardhuman · 1 year

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eh it's about damn time I do something like this

hi hey hello I'm Icarus (1 no that's not my actual name 2 yes like that dude who flew too close to the sun) but I'm also fine being called Virgo (also not my actual name) here's some shit about me read it if you want

as my description states I use he/him pronouns, I'm an INTP, and I'm a virgo for those who care

currently REALLY into what we do in the shadows but I also like our flag means death, hannibal, the band ghost, re-animator, watcher, good omens, the world of mr plant and more but like if I reblog or like something it's most likely about one of these 8 things

wrote a short post season 4 nandermo fic with a plot I accidentally kinda used twice (whoops) and I'm currently working on a few wwdits fic wips (though idk if I'm gonna finish them anytime soon)

made a what we do in the shadows uquiz if you wanna check it out it tells you what you would be if you were in the universe (like vampire, human, werewolf ect etc)

alright enough restating shit that's in my little description thing states and promoting stuff I made here's some more shit about me:

I have dyslexia (whoever named it that need to be thrown into a pit of spikes I hate spelling it sooooo much) and possibly have ADHD

asks are currently open so feel free to ask me what my favorite color is or whatever

DMs are also open so if you wanna chat cool cool just send me a photo of a frog or something to let me know you're not a bot

guess I'm kinda a fanfic writer now? wow that feels weird to say but it's true

I do art but don't expect me to post it much except every once in a blue moon welp ya boy is on a creative kick sooooo for now ignore that last part

I draw bunnies A LOT (if you're curious as to why I made a post about it WARNING THO IT'S LOOOONG)

guillermo from wwdits, nandor from wwdits, dib from invader zim, and stede from ofmd are my little blorbos and I relate to them for one reason or another (whatever that says about me I don't care to know)

I keyboard smash A LOT

I really hope nobody that I know stumbles across my tumblr considering some of the shit I put on here (if you know me irl and you're reading this no you're not)

I love to over analyze shit in stuff I like

You'll probably picked up on this quick but the tag #throwing up my thoughts onto tumblr again is what I tag posts that are well me just throwing up my thoughts onto tumblr (like if I realize something about myself or I do something stupid) for whatever reason (most likely cause I'm bored)

follow for random reblogs and shit about my hyperfixations :)

#finally made an intro post #yay me :D

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ask-court-genshin · 7 months

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> Hello friend!

> I'm sorry for bothering you but, ehm... I'm not sure how to say this actually. A letter addressed to you seems to have been sent to the wrong address! I'm not sure how, but I ended up in my hands before yours. So here I am, giving you your letter instead! I'm sure the mailman messed up addresses, although it remains weird with how far apart our addresses are haha. *You have received the letter with your name from Shiro! The return address on the envelope is not from the person handing you the letter. Furthermore, a name from the actual sender seems to be missing. How strange!

Both the envelope and letter are plain white. Though, noticeably, the latter seems to be in a better state compared to the former. It seems that the sender hesitated to part with the letter for quite some time.

When you open it, a delicate and careful handwriting places carefully chosen words onto the parchment. Whoever wrote this did so with care and love.

"My beloved.

It seems that you've found a place to settle at last. Since the beginning of our time together, I've told you I would understand if you were to lose your faith in our love as time passes, but I never imagined the pain that would come along with it.

My thoughts seem to slip away from the abyss more often, and you consume every waking moment of my life. My heart bleeds for you. I would move mountains just for a mere glimpse of you.

Is this new man truly capable of protecting you? Does he make you feel more loved than your time spent with me?

(Whoever wrote this letter, seems to have added another paragraph at a later time. The handwriting seems messier compared to the paragraphs before.)

Even if another 500 years were to pass, I am certain that my heart could not forget you.

(The letter ends abruptly, as if the sender didn't write all they had wanted to. Though, upon closer inspection, the letter "D" is signed at the bottom.)"

I'm...definitely being haunted by a ghost aren't I?

Um... Okay, I'll fess something up. I'm a Hydro Eidolon. Shocker, wow, I know– but Hydro Eidolons normally don't have a human shape, you know? We don't normally have names either here in Court Murmure... So, the truth is, my creator– Lumine– just molded my appearance after an ancient photograph she found. I was her first Human-Eidolon and she named me:

"Copy."

Since I was Illiterate, I thought it spelled "Kopi", it was only a year later when she had the heart to correct me. I'm just... A copy of someone else. And I think whoever this letter writer is (????) was reminded of the real "Kopi".

I get these sorts of mails a lot, especially from names like Halfdan and stuff. It's a bit of a pain

BECAUSE I CAN'T READ THEM.

... I'm sorry. I can't even read the contents. I'm afraid I don't know who this letter came from, whoops. Definitely a wrong number situation.

#this is so creepy though....#» first ebg #» visitor: shiro

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kaihoku · 10 months

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V25 YES OR NO – November, 1995

Kids are amazing creatures. They can simply go, “Noooo I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna” or “Yeah!” without any worry at all. As adults, we are more inhibited by our tendency to overthink even the simplest of things. Sure, it may be scary but it’s also wonderful to simply be able to honestly refuse and say, “I don’t wanna!”

~*~

People with jobs like ours are in a position where we are frequently watched. But it doesn’t stop there. The results of our appearance will then get quantified into numbers. TV ratings are of course a result of not just a single person so I shouldn’t have to worry too much. Still, there’s a part of me that can’t help but be painfully conscious of my actions. For example. When there’s a press announcement for an upcoming film or drama, I can’t bring myself to straight up say “I can’t think of anything” even when that is the truth and always feel like I have to do something if only to keep up appearances.

What really made me start to think my actions through carefully was a feature some weekly photo rag oh-so-kindly published about me. Because what hurt wasn’t the fact that people started to talk smack about me, but about the people I know who were unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it was just me, it’d simply be like tripping and falling and going “Whoops!” For that, all I have to do is pick myself up. But when it happens to someone else through no fault of theirs, it takes a lot to put things back to right.

When I confronted the so-called writer who wrote that feature, they just said to me right off the bat, “But getting stuff written about you is part of what being famous is all about!” Knowing that they can’t be reasoned with, I just told them to put themselves in the shoes of people they write about and left it at that.

Thanks to that, I went through a pretty rough time. Not trying to come off sounding poetic or anything like that but it really felt like a knife to the gut. And for a while after that, I was completely out of sorts.

Despite what I have going on personally, at work, the others would be laughing and singing just like normal. And I know this may come off as cold but if I thought about it, I’m the same as everyone else. Even if another person is having a tough time, there’s really nothing much I can do for them other than to empathize. When I realized that, I had to ask myself if my worries are really all that different.

It was around then that a friend who lived nearby brought his kid over. It was a 2-year old boy. And somehow or other, I ended up being in charge of entertaining the tot. I had Porsche and Corvette toy car models and was a bit anxious about them at first but from the moment the kid saw them and went “Wow~~!” I was a goner. Next thing I knew, we were playing with them and I was going:

“Zoom! Kerr-rash! Ka-boom! “

“Oh noes, the cars are destroyed!”

“Look, the tires came off!”

I realized as I was having fun with the boy that I didn’t feel bothered by anything at all. It’s a wonder, really. Kids have zero qualms in just straight up telling you to your face if they don‘t like something. They’d just nod and say, “Yeah, I like it!” if they do like something and shake their head and say “No, I hate it!” if they don’t. If you do something they think is interesting, they’d just be amazed and go, “Wow!” They’re aren’t afraid of anything. And seeing their clear and honest reactions makes me unafraid, too. It’s pretty amazing.

When they left, I ended up giving the boy everything we played with, up to and including the blue Porsche convertible that was my favorite. And I told my buddy, “Anytime you folks want to have a date night, just send this lil’ fella my way. I’ll babysit ‘im for you.”

When we play with kids, it’s mainly because we want to enjoy ourselves. My job for sure involves the enjoyment of others. But I believe that it shouldn’t stop there and that it’s important that in doing my job to entertain others, I need to enjoy what I’m doing myself as well. And I need to become more immersed in doing the things I enjoy. Whatever I'm involved in doing, even if I have to exert effort to persist, I want to keep at it until the end. But I also don’t want to ignore the part of me that simply wants to be honest with what I like and what I don’t. So! Imma do just that when it isn’t about work. There’s plenty of stuff I want to try outside of it anyway.

As adults, we always seem to have to keep reminding ourselves that we aren’t kids anymore but now I’m more thinking what’s so wrong with acting like one sometimes? If I can’t be honest with myself, who else can I be honest with? At the end of the day, I’m just as weak as any human and no matter how much I want to deny that truth, no one knows it better than myself. With all the shit that gets written about me and if that isn’t bad enough, I’ve also recently been coming home to find my mailbox broken into and ransacked, it all adds up to become enough to drive a person into deep depression. And I’ve come to learn that if we were to force ourselves to act strong and unaffected in this low state, it really only makes things worse inside.

When we feel weak and dispirited, it’s foolish to even pretend to remain strong. Times like that, I just want to let it all out and shout, “I freakin’ hate this!”

-kinuta-

#takuya kimura #kaihoku #aka takuya's stream of consciousness

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takingback-thepenguin · 2 years

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Since three more episodes have come out, here is a list of more sentence starters from Shipwrecked’s web-series, Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story, this time from episodes 4, 5, and 6. Some of the lines have been edited to fit as sentence starters, and feel free to change pronouns/add names/etc as you see fit. Tw: Death, food, smoking mention, violence/killing mention, blood, general tws that go with The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

Episode 4: The Star on the Stage

“To make matters worse, he's/she’s/they’ve got a crush.”

“Maybe she'll/he’ll/they’ll see that he's/she’s/they’re just mmmm...not that appealing.”

“Oh, come on, man.”

“How's the landlord?”

“I’m just waiting for her/him/them to wake up and accuse me of murder.”

“Go lock the door.”

“I don't have long.”

“His/Her/Their tombstone says he/she/they died in 1776!”

“What the-? This is trippy as hell.”

“My hands smell like hands.”

“Oh snap! I'm alive!”

“Yo, this is tight!”

“Being six feet underground was a bit of a bummer.”

“I died doing what I loved.”

“Whoops.”

“Why does your tombstone say you died in 1776?”

“I'm committed to being the best re-enactor there ever was.”

“You guys got any hot Cheetos?”

“This is a disaster.”

“I have to go to this show.”

“_____’s saving me a seat.”

“Yoooo, is this you??”

“Whoa, look at that!”

“That's funny.”

“Oh, my God. Your yearbook!”

“Are you sitting backwards in a chair?”

“They told us to do that.”

“_____ wrote "Butts!!"

“It's been a wild ride.”

“Thanks for everything.”

“See you on the other side.”

“Wow. Ominous.”

“We've been through a lot.”

“She/He/They want(s) me to invite you.”

“You don't sound very enthused.”

“It's just, I don't really—”

“I would love to!”

“Oh, my gosh, I love live theatre.”

“I love live anything.”

“Get it?”

“This guy/gal/one gets it.”

“Hey, can we stop at a 7-Eleven on the way there?”

“Do those still exist?”

“All right, whatever. Cool.”

“Aren't you going to sing about this?”

“Bard Union says I need to take a four hour break every 30 minutes.”

“How do you get into the bard union?”

“_____! You made it.”

“Oh hey, I'm _____.”

“Hey, maybe we should all stop talking because the show's about to start.”

“I think our production of this annual tradition is going to blow your socks off!”

“Art is messy.”

“Enjoy the history of Sleepy Hollow!”

“I was in this play when I was ten! Really got me into history.”

“Oh, hi! I didn't see you there.”

“You sure did spook me.”

“Wait a minute. That's my job.”

“Um, wrong.”

“To tell you my story, I need to start from the beginning.”

“Ugh, do your research!”

“Lunchable?”

“Cutie?”

“I got an idea!”

“What have I done? What have I done?”

“Man, I know so much stuff. I really wasted my potential.”

“Ham?”

“Hey, _____. What are you doing after this?”

“Shut up.”

“This is my favorite part.”

“My mom used to tell me this story when I was a kid. Freaked me out so bad.”

“The Woman in White is said to haunt the woods, alerting those who pass to steer clear! Lest they be caught in a deadly storm, as she was.”

“Stay away from Raven Rock!”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“I am not jealous of _____.”

“Okay, boss.”

“That's ten miles away.”

“They have a spa there I just love.”

“I have a referral.”

“Are you, a grown man/woman/person, actually asking about the logistics of ghost hauntings?”

“Uh, the other kids are asking if you can drive us to Denny's.”

“Oh, fine.”

“No singing.”

“Has anyone ever figured out how that story began?”

“That stuff's poisonous.”

“I'll go stop him/her/them.”

“I have to get back to work anyway.”

“If I leave _____ alone too long, things start disappearing into other dimensions.”

“Well, I got to go to work, too, right? Work on making lunch! Yeah!”

“Tuna sandos! Less red meat!”

“So? You, uh...headed back to the graveyard soon?”

“Why would he/she/they go to the graveyard?”

“I've hotboxed in the mausoleum!”

“I don't know if you can tell, but I party.”

“I coulda used that during the historical abomination we just witnessed.”

“Hit me!”

“Oh, my God!”

“This is—“ “A scientific anomaly?”

“This is incredible!”

“My mother used to tell me stories about the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow.”

“I wish my mom was here to meet you.”

“_____’s been, like, casting spells.”

“It's a whole group thing.”

“I-I promised my dad I'd watch _____ with him this afternoon, but I really want to help.”

“Things are getting interesting with you around, _____.”

“Well, looks like that blew up in your face.”

“I knew she'd/he’d/they’d be DTF. Down to…find. The head.”

“It's a little risky for me right now.”

“You kind of owe me one.”

“I want her/him/them to represent me in court tomorrow.”

“Coast is clear. Let's boogie.”

“Let's boogie, _____.”

Episode 5: The Chaos In Court

“Where have you been?”

“Your court date starts in 10 minutes.”

“He/She/They was/were acting so weird.”

“Just…go look, go look over there.”

“Check it out!”

“Something tells me that she’s/he’s/they’re not an attorney at law.”

“Hey, what's up fam?”

“Hey, sorry I've been AWOL for a minute.”

“I'm going to be real with you for a second.”

“It totally bummed me out.”

“Okay, bye. Nice.”

“Check it out.”

“Hey, introduce yourself, man!”

“Oh, man! Pantsed!”

“Oh man. I look great.”

“Who would want more of this?”

“So many people want more of this.”

“Oh, who, me?“

“What's up? I'm waiting on an important delivery.”

“Are you helping _____?”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“We don't have a lot of time.”

“Okay, stop. I know!”

“We need to be able to trust each other!”

“Why is it that I see you every day?”

“Oh, no! What a bummer.”

“'Sup, _____?”

“Your beachy locks are looking particularly effortless today.”

“Prove it.”

“I bet you're really, really happy with yourself.”

“That was...very hard to hear.”

“I think of myself as the Marty McFly of my life, obviously.”

“Am I the villain?”

“Did I just Biff my relationship with _____?”

“Candygram for _____!”

“These are on loan from the town archives.”

“I'm going to need you to be exceptionally careful.”

“Don't, like, use them as coasters or get any of your fake blood on them.”

“I'm talking to you.”

“It wasn't fake.”

“I'll be back for these soon.”

“Don't forget to stretch at least once an hour.”

“Thanks, _____.”

“I know how you can make it up to _____.”

“You can help me sort through all these documents.”

“Pound it.”

“Oh, no thanks.”

“Guilty!”

“Not guilty! I mean, of...of crime.”

“I’m guilty of being _____. I'm _____.”

“You were��you wanted to know if I was _____?”

“Oh, God. I feel sick.”

“Oh, hey, Pepto?”

“Good call.”

“Please, I need to stay under the radar and just get through this.”

“And this is...?”

“I'm the defendant's counsel, _____.”

“I may not have a law degree, but I do have plenty of unpaid parking tickets.”

“Is that...the newest iPhone?”

“I'm looking to upgrade.”

“How is the camera on that?”

“Interesting! Let's talk after.”

“You are charged with trespassing.”

“I might have known.”

“Can you please recount the events of that day?”

“There I was, working the graveyard shift—literally—when I came across this ne'er-do-well doing no well.”

“Is this true?”

“Were you doing no well?”

“You're supposed to be helping me!”

“Hey, you can't handle the truth, man!”

“Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

“Boom! That's what two years at Houdini Summer Camp for Children will getcha.”

“My socials need a glow-up! Can you help me?”

“I got you.”

“Oh man, you're drenched!”

“When did you have time to make all this, slime?”

“Do not try this at home.”

“I am a licensed prankster.”

“I have my degree in biochemistry from MIT.”

“I got 50 hours of community service.”

“Hope you're happy.”

“You hungry?”

“What I did was supremely uncool.”

“Using our magical abilities to thrust you into the clutches of an unjust legal system was very unchill of me.”

“I’m filled with regret.”

“Not to stress you out any more, but my dad wants to have you over for dinner tomorrow.”

“That actually might not be true.”

“We did some digging.”

“I got to head home.”

“I promised Dad I'd watch _____, but, um...I'lI see you tomorrow?”

“You won!”

“Will murdering _____ cheer you up?”

“I guess just look for a giant yogurt truck!”

“Oh, you guys got me so good.”

“Prankster becomes the prankee. Nice!”

“Oh my God, my head.”

“Choose your destiny.”

“Where am I?”

“What's happening?”

“No, no, no. It's okay.”

“You're like, um, a magical zombie.”

“Everything's okay!”

Episode 6: The Distractions At Dinner

“No! Don't hang up. Don't hang up.”

“You have to stop calling me.”

“I think I could really help you!”

“No, _____ you can't come here.”

“I'm so good at characters.”

“I took an improv class and I never even got to the show.”

“Please let me do this!”

“_____ will recognize you.”

“I'm trying to impress _____.”

“I can't have a weird ghost zombie showing up.”

“_____ is going to investigate while he's/she’s/they’re distracted.”

“I have to go.”

“I missed the whole song!”

“Dude, that was my best stuff.”

“Can you play it again?”

“Our sacrifice to the Pagan gods is here.”

“_____, my good man/woman/person, our guest of honor! Welcome.”

“Does _____ need any more help in the kitchen?”

“She's/He’s/They’re finishing up.”

“Any more vagrant sightings at the Old Dutch House?”

“Hope she/he/they wake(s) up soon.

“You know about that.”

“Oh, you heard?”

“Look out! We have a new resident bad boy/girl/one!”

“What are you doing?”

“There could be invisible lasers!”

“Your DNA is getting everywhere!”

“Oh, my blood.”

“Is there DNA in blood?“

“Is there DNA in blood? I sure hope not cause it’s everywhere.”

“You can see where she/he/they get(s) her/his/their good looks!”

“She/He/They got her/his/their obstinate streak from Yours Truly.”

“She/He/They wrote the book on local legends.”

“There wasn't a haunted rock or a bewitched gas station within 100 miles that she/he/they didn't know about.”

“Before you leave, pick up a few of her/his/their books and read up.”

“Uh, did she/he/they ever mention the Headless Horseman?”

“Oh, haven't you seen him/her/them yet?”

“You're not a true resident of Sleepy Hollow until you think you've seen the Headless Horseman.”

“She/He/They always thought the best of people.”

“She/He/They got taken with conspiracy theories.”

“Not sure where we lost her/him/them.”

“Wonder who that could be.”

“There's um, someone here for you.”

“Hey, how are ya?”

“I parked in a red zone, but they don't ticket on weeknights.”

“Nice to meet ya.”

“I hope you don't mind, I brought my Dunkies.”

“I'll, uh, set another place.”

“I must say, _____, I have a feeling we've met before.”

“I don't think so.”

“I have one of these.”

“Now that is sus.”

“What do you do?”

“I just got recruited by the CIA, actually.”

“You know, CSI, SVU, NBC, you know.”

“They've been scoutin' me for a while due to my ability to solve crimes.”

“Turns out? I'm wicked good at it!”

“That's a noble pursuit.”

“Public safety, justice, it all sounds thrilling!”

“You know, I've heard there's actually a lot of paperwork involved. Not like on TV.”

“I’ve never done any paperwork.”

“Whoa, check this out. It's a manuscript.”

“I often wonder if I'd ever have the chance to meet the ghost myself.”

“Perhaps this weekend, l'll finally come face to face with destiny.”

“I'll be ready.”

“Where would I put the evidence? Maybe in an old phone like this?”

“Go long!”

“Why?”

“Shhhhh.”

“This is, like, a million years old.”

“This is real leather.”

“I really hope she's/he’s/they’re not up here working.”

“Uh, we can explain!”

“_____ and I are in love!”

“We're meeting here for our lover's rendezvous.”

“It's the last place anyone would think to look for us!”

“I noticed you're admiring the chandelier.”

“We try not to speak about him/her/them.”

“More rolls?”

“I think you might be interested in a little dessert.”

“It's an old family recipe.”

“Shall we?”

“Oh, my God, you guys, that's amazing!”

“How long has this been going on?”

“I'd marry her/him/them...if I could.”

“Who would accept us?”

“Oh, God your skin is so cold.”

“You know what? I can marry you right now, I'm ordained!”

“It's, like, a lot.”

“No, no. There's no need.”

“Weddings are expensive.”

“There's so much to do!”

“My mom's not here.”

“Oh, I insist.”

“Hooray.”

“It's me!”

“I know.”

“I told you to stay home.”

“They're in my ear, like, telling me cool stuff to say.”

“This is the dumbest idea.”

“I heard that!”

“They told me to say that.”

“Now if you could just, uh, sign here and here for me.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

“You may kiss the bride.”

“I can't do it. I cant do it.”

“Do it, do it. Do it. Oh, God!!”

“I always cry at weddings.”

“What makes you so sure he's/she’s/they’re responsible anyways?”

“The last thing I remember is _____ giving me a drink and then pain.”

“He/She/They poisoned you? Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“I was a great assistant.”

“I'm, like, very good at accents.”

“Try to remember!”

“You have to go.”

“I am so close to getting a confession!”

“High time for pie time!”

“Look who I found.”

“I thought we might raise a toast.”

“You sure you don't want a piece of this delicious pie?”

“Sox game starts in ten.”

“Thanks for dinner.”

“I'm watching you.”

“Lovely to meet you.”

“Listen, if you're ever back in town, don’t be a stranger.”

“I am not a stranger.”

“Oh, excuse me.”

“Don't touch my pie, _____.”

“Okay, what is going on? Who was that?”

“I just picked one at random.”

“Here's the thing, and it's funny. You're—You're going to laugh.”

“She/He/They think(s) that your dad killed her/him/them.”

“I know, It's crazy! Pie?”

“Why would my father kill her/him/them?”

“You don’t think that she/he/they knew something?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“You're actually taking her/him/them seriously?”

“I think you should leave.”

“Get out!”

“Please don't.”

“We had a deal. And I am not renegotiating it.”

#sentence starters #sentence starter meme #sentence starter prompts #rp sentence starters #tw: food #tw: death #tw: smoking mention #tw: violence mention #tw: murder mention #tw: blood

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