#wont even say anything about it to the school counselor

[friendly-neighborhood-furry]

sometimes the state of the world makes me want to go outside and scream as loud as i can for help. sometimes it makes me want to crawl deep into a hole and never come back out again. sometimes it makes me want to fall to my knees and sob uncontrollably. sometimes it seems so hopeless that i cant see any better alternative other than just disappearing.

so much evil and destruction and suffering-- and for what?

what is it all for?

for the latest popular billionare to take a 13 minute flight? for the newest remake of a movie that changed my life to get turned into mindless sludge? for a never-before-seen species of animal to be discovered, then pronounced extinct the very next week? for millions of people to go broke for having cancer?

i tell my mother that i wont be able to afford a house. she says "no, you will." i tell my counselor that my government wants to kill me. she says "that's not true." i tell my teachers i don't see a point in doing well in school because i wont be able to get a job anyway, even if i have a college degree. they tell me "no, you'll get a job. school is still important." i email my senators begging them to stop funding the genocide in Palestine. i get a copy-pasted email back with a history lesson about why that wont happen. one million people died from COVID last Christmas and i'm the only one at my school still wearing a mask. my future as an artist was ripped from my hands in less than two years and pretty soon i wont be able to share anything about my art at all. i'm half mexican, but everybody says i'm "too white" to be a "real mexican". its been four years and i'm nowhere closer to understanding my gender identity than i was at the start. tumblr has been my only safe space for three years and now that KOSA might pass this week, where will i go?

and all the while, through all of this conflict-- people are still falling in love for the first time and rescuing kittens off the street and watching their children take their first steps and getting married and making fun little indie games and building elaborate cosplays of their favorite character and making the most heart-touchingly beautiful pieces of art you've ever seen and meeting lifelong friends and cooking amazingly delicious food and playing children's games and weaving baskets from pine needles and taking care of livestock and collecting little knick-knacks and having the best day of their lives and writing their first line of code and learning to play instruments and hatching baby birds and posting a 100K word thesis about a show they really like and uploading song covers for 19 people on Youtube to listen to and pushing the boundaries of what science can accomplish and discussing moral philosophies in the comment section of a Reddit post and feeling truly seen in the eyes of another human being for the first time in their lives and growing old surrounded by the people they love.

the future is uncertain, but the world will go on. the winds will still blow and the tides will still flow. people will continue to find joy in this hell and fight for it with everything they have.

so don't give up.

"don't give up," i tell myself.

"don't give up," i tell you.

"don't give up," i scream into the sky.

there is always something to keep going for. if you cannot find it in yourself, find it in others. find it in the people in your life and the people you see online. find it in the good of humanity you know to exist.

find it. keep fighting. don't give up.

#at the end of it all i do consider myself a poet #if this reaches even one person #and gives them the strength to keep going #i would consider it a success #tomothy rambles #serious post #gen z #capitalism #climate change #palestine #free palestine #lgbtqia+ #queer #trans #vent #mental health #anxiety #depression

[neuro-sam]

the other kids in school can focus. even the ones with adhd. one of them finished first and didnt have any attention problems. why cant i do it? i cant say its because of my adhd because if it were the other adhd kids would be struggling but theyre not so why cant i do it? is it because im dumb? am i lazy? fucking math is so hard i have to meet up with the guidance counselor once a day to complete it which is annoying as hell because she doesnt actually help me. the others think they can tell me what to do and its making me mad but i cant do anything about it because i dont wanna get detention for the third time this year. i didnt even deserve the other two, i got them for not paying attention in class but its not my fault my brain was overloaded and i spaced out im sorry it wont happen again

#actually adhd #neurodivergent #adhd #adhd problems

[theydofine]

Life moves slow, for a thing that's so short it's almost impressive. I spoke with an admissions counselor and it actually went well. I really should stop getting surprised, but it's still weird feeling confident about going back to college. I still have a long way to go, though. I already applied for FAFSA and had my submission approved, and I started my CommonApp, but I'm getting closer to my essay portion and I'm kind of getting maybe anxious about it? I feel like, and I know, it is my time to weaponize all of my trauma into guilting some poor admissions person into giving me a chance. It's not to say that that's the only way they decide who gets in, but it sure does help. I know I can't get in by merit anymore. All I have is the things that have made me want to die. They are in some weird way my biggest advocates right now.

There is something else happening. Well, it's been happening. My girlfriend's mom and her sister have been staying with us in our living room as her mom gets some housing shit figured out here. It was begrudgingly ok at first, but there are certain mothers that can only be tolerated in doses and anything more is suffocating. Normally, I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about someone else's mother because mine are no prize and I don't know them, but

1.) I have full permission. She makes my girlfriend feel like shit. She is an awful person. If she had any redeeming qualities then we wouldn't have to talk in secret about how we feel and how she makes us feel in our own home. OUR home. She has no sort of claim whatsoever over this house. No rent, definitely no help with the utilities she's jacked up, no name on the lease. Not a single cumbpt of her moths-out-of-the-pocket money went into this house.

2.) In a way I do know her. Any daughter of a narcissistic mother knows her. These are women that will never know the depths of devastation that they unleash on their own. When I was a kid I would be filled with such a trembling fury knowing that she knew. She knew what she was doing, she know how it made me feel and she did it because she knew it would be an effective kind of hurt.

I never thought I would find another person I could hate with all my heart like my own mother, but she's appeared in the form of my girlfriend's mom. It's sad that this isn't some cruel fluke in the genetic act of parenting. There are far too many mothers out there convinced they've done no wrong not knowing they many suicide notes they've helped produce.

When I really wanted to kill myself, on top of all the reasons I had for killing myself at the time I would add one more. It would spite my mother. That'll show her. Except it wont. You could kill yourself, outline it very clearly that it was a direct cause of their actions and they would still swear it was some personality flaw on your part. The flip side is living to spite your mom, but I won't lie it's a hard hike to get to the means of being able to live your life away from them. In a way I only recently started my life away from one mother.

But now were back. My girlfriend has described it as feeling like she's back in high school. It's our home but we still get that feeling of having all the love and joy sucked out of the room the moment this woman walks in. She inserts herself in everything, takes and takes and takes and takes and takes as much as she can as fast as she can and never lets even a whisper of gratitude escape from her.

I tried putting pressure on her to move by telling her that my sister wanted to come visit so hey what's the timeline on your housing shit? Mind you, she complains about anything that isn't up to her standards. She tries to live beyond her means which has resulted in mounds of debt, but that's not enough so she has also taken a chunk of debt out on my girlfriend's name. She lives to flaunt a fantasy that is far from her pathetic reality. It only sounds harsh to you because you might be imagining an average mom. This mom is a genuine demon cunt that would drain her daughter of live and condemn her to a life of misery if it meant that she would tout that she was right all along about some stupid petty shit. She would rather have her suffer and be miserable than be happy for her and what she's accomplished.

I have to go feed our cat.

#public diary #bipolar diaries #digital diary #my writing

[anthillkid]

Damn, I sure wish there was someone I could vent about my hypersexuality to without my venting being sexualized and without me feeling like I’m being seen as a sex object while venting

#cat.exe speaks #jk I would never vent to anyone about my hypersexuality #bc it makes me feel disgusting #and like I'm faking it all #and i'm not a victim #and it was all my fault #hypersexual #hypersexuality #wont even say anything about it to the school counselor #ever #ok to rb

[sugasthreedollarkookie]

Naruto Boys !High School! Headcanon

Includes: Neji, Shikamaru and Naruto.

Warning : vaping? Weed? School as a a whole.

Note: gifs arent mine. I wrote this bored asf after my french exam. Based on my hs experience.

Neji

You guys would fs discuss the most recent chapter for your english class together.

would be rather quiet and reserved in school, but once yall bust out and are just w the friend group he is a completely dif person.

he listens to drama. He pretends like he doesnt find it interesting, but he loves the tea.

is fs a teachers favorite.

is lowkey judgy of classclowns and people that don't do their work. Like he wont say anything but he'll have a look on his face.

if he walks in the bathroom and someone is vaping or smoking weed, 100 turns around and walks right back out.

won't say anything to a teacher about the vaping, hes not a snitch. But, he'll talk his shit later w the squad.

Is fucking awesome at physics. Like god level. Same with the other sciences. Fucking nerd.

never misses his assignments. Always on time. Youll never catch this man slipping.

he is the bitch with the 27 dif highlighters, 13 dif pens, sticky notes, diagrams and color codes his shi lmfao.

Shika

fucking hates school. (Same dude, same.)

isn't friends w a lot of people, but the ones he is friends w are real ones.

vapes in the bathroom, neji saw and ran out, then talked his shi later.

throws ragers, but nobody knows that hes the one throwing it.

secretly fucking loves spirit week. He wont dress up or anything but he fucking wants to.

doesnt give a fuck abt his grades and failed almost everything freshman year. His counselor told him to keep it up and he wouldn't graduate, so he kinda had to actually do the work. Its was easy for this mf anyway. He is so fucking smart.

favorite class is human bio, bc he can sleep the whole time and the teacher doenst give a fuck.

is late. Its the second week of the tri and has already been late 5 times.

has a very set aesthetic, lowkey a grungy ass skater boi.

notes? Never heard of them.

Naruto

also hates school.

only comes to hang with his friends.

have failes his classes multiple times and has to go to summer school to make up the credit.

is a teacher favorite, because of how unintentionally funny he is.

is cool w the janitor and lunch ladies.

leaves class to go to vending machines.

likes easy classes, like french, bc its easy to memorize vocab and stuff.

hates english bc he has to read books.

besties with the cool dilfy bio teacher.

brings snacks to class.

can never be quiet, is always talking and it does get on some peoples nerves.

makes fucking tiktoks in the hallways and also probably with teachers.

he is late w a lot of assignments but always crams and gets them done before the tri ends.

takes sloppy notes if he even bothers too.

#naruto boys #neji hyuga #neji #naruto shippuden #naruto uzumaki #high school #hs au #naruto headcanons #shikamaru #shikamaru naruto #shikamaru nara #shikamaru headcanons #neji headcanons

[tundrainafrica]

So I see your a LeviHan shipper!! I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite?? Maybe you could explain that a little through a list? But anyways I hope your week has been good so far, Sav. Have a good day/night!!!! - Signed by Your Secret Santa 🎄

Hello! Thank you for asking about my week (and my ship). 

I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite? 

To answer that first question...

You’re in for a long rollercoaster ride of a rant because I don’t think I’m the type of person to ship anything to the point of writing domestic fluff fics unless the I felt really really drawn to the ship. 

Anyway, (slight) spoilers abound! Will keep manga spoilers subtle, mostly Levihan scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

1. The ship did not move the plot. The plot moved the ship.

Attack on Titan is not a romance or a shojo, if it’s not fairly obvious from any chapter you would randomly read. As a reader, I would have expected it to fall short with pairings. Most shows which are not romance based tend to have a few pairings which just suddenly end up together towards the end of the manga because “What’s a happy ending without marriage and kids?” There is usually a trend of just pairing of the extras and sometimes, or maybe even more often than not, it just seems to come out of nowhere (ehem... Naruto.). Maybe the relationship worked off screen but I dunno. Like no shipping war here but the only pairing I had full support for was Shikatema. 

In stories classified as romances, there is enough of a spotlight on the sexual tension and mutual pining of specific characters for the romance to be considered reasonable. In my opinion, some authors tend to sacrifice really good world building for a good romance. Objectively twilight for example had some crazy good world building but it just kinda focused a little too much on emo Bella and emo Edward for the world building to actually be appreciated by the casual reader. Tbh though, this is not necessarily bad because people get into stuff for reasons, sometimes, I just wanna read a good fantasy, sometimes I just wanna read a good romance.

Romances though as a main driving point for narratives, require some convenient serendipity moments and sexual tension which can be written well but as a reader, I prefer to see more natural relationships born out of necessity (Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata is a good example of what I’m talking about in a romance novel.)

Attack on Titan through its narrative actually made Levihan seem VERY VERY possible. If I had to compare the presentation of this ship in canon to at least one relationship in other anime, I would compare it to Royai from FMA. 

Like, if Attack on Titan didn’t give us random subtle hints about romantic or just platonic relationships between the two or even about anyone, even if Levi and Hange did get together in the end, it would have been one of the pairings, I probably wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow at. 

But they could be just friends? Which brings me to my next point.

2. Their current situation makes it so it’s only natural that at the least, they considered it. 

Yes. Friends is a valid interpretation for anything. I mean, given our hook up culture, people can fuck as friends too. People probably have made out drunk as friends too. Like I have seen my fair share of this type of bullshit in high school and college and I would say, we do not need a kiss or a fucking session to recognize that something can be a good relationship or to recognize that they have probably thought about it. 

A relationship requires a commitment (conscious or unconscious) to caring for the other, keeping the other safe, recognizing their flaws and thinking about them regularly (Call me scott peck or marriage counselor but like I honestly think the world would be a better place once people recognize that quality romantic relationships are worked for).

Mind you, Levi and Hange lost everything.They literally lost everything from their old life, all their friends, all their loved ones and all they have is each other and they’re forced to take care of a bunch of kids.

There are people who have said before, no one gets very close with someone without ever considering a romantic relationship with them. Or even if they never considered it romantic, they could consider at least “living with them their whole life,” or “supporting them through thick and thin.” The things is, towards the end, they were constantly together and what drove them to that situation is that both of them are aware of what the other had lost. They understood each other more than anyone else and they recognized that they were the only ones left in their own circle and I personally think that is more than enough for a relationship to naturally bloom between them.

3. The relationship and the signs are subtle and it works.

I personally probably would not have enjoyed it if canon showed a romantic relationship of the two after Erwin died. It’s a valid interpretation to consider that it could have happened, based on my explanation for number 2 but Hange is commander, Levi is captain. They have a professional relationship and they have goals and obligations which take precedence over personal desires. They are in the middle of a war and the most which probably could have happened was a secret mutual pining between the two and I think Isayama has injected the most subtle hints which are the most that could have been appropriately put into canon without seeming too OOC. Hange and Levi are not selfish people. They have promises, dreams and obligations which they respect and have committed themselves to already. It has also been shown at earlier points of the manga that they do put their survey corps duties on top of everything so acting on a romantic attraction at that point in time would have definitely been inappropriate. 

I personally think, the scenes of Hange going out of her way to save Levi as commander, killing her other soldiers to save both their asses, suggesting in the forest that they live together instead of go back to the war and not leaving an injured Levi until she had no choice were more powerful than a lot of romantic scenes where people actually fuck and kiss. Kissing and fucking are easy. Leaving the duties and responsibilities they have worked for for five years to keep the person they love alive hits way harder. 

Call it platonic. Call it romantic. But no one like Hange would have deserted her post as commander for a few chapters to take care of a sick comrade and kill her subordinates to save their asses if there wasn’t anything between them. 

4. It gives a great example what healthy relationships can come from. 

I grew up reading sweet valley and chick lits cause I was a basic bitch and I kinda grew up with a somehow unrealistic idea of where relationships come from. Call me a late bloomer but I only actually figured out where the romance and the happiness of a relationship was when I got into one with my best friend for five years. 

It’s the sexual tension and the “will they wont they?” push and pull which can lead to satisfying sex or a happy ending in romance novels. I think in a way, media kinda overglorifies it which kinda gives a lot of young people the wrong idea about why they getting into a relationship is fun in the first place.  Because after the satisfying sex and the kids, what’s next for the relationship?

Years of utility bills, diapers, chores, schedules, parent teacher conferences and compromises until someone gives up or dies. And what kind of relationships can actually thrive through all these? 

Those that have mastered the underrated parts of relationships. These include conflict resolutions, compromises and open communication. I think we have seen enough of those two, even before season 3 that have shown that they know each other very well and they have shown to at least have a relatively equal power dynamic which is a foundation for open communication and mutual trust in relationships even beyond the fucking and marriage stage 

5. They have a great foundation of character development for both parties.

As I mentioned above, they have a relatively equal power dynamic. I love Royai from FMA and I have compared Royai to this multiple times. I would say though I prefer Levihan over Royai because I felt that Royai had more unequal power dynamics? (Though I still think Royai is a top tier ship ). Also, they have shown to tell off the other when they don’t like what the other is doing. They are complete opposites but here is the magical thing. They talk everything out. They’re generally open people to each other and they know each other way too well as hinted in scenes before and opposites work as long as the others are willing to compromise. I think (especially in season 3 and season 4) that they have done enough for each other and have compromised enough for each other in the survey corps that these skills could easily be brought with them even after the war.

That open communication is just what makes them maintaining a relationship while being complete opposites very OC and realistic. Eventually, they did probably did make compromises, which most likely softened or moderated the crazy parts of their personalities which is just a really fun part of their relationship to explore. 

6. It could realistically last so maybe ...

7. A good foundation for happy children?

Maybe it’s how it is written because of the actual story and why would Yams write a romantic drama in a story about genocide and war. Tbh, I would attribute it more to Levi and Hange’s personalities though because Mikasa and Eren have their fair share of drama, mostly one sided though coz Mikasa. This relationship has no drama, no misunderstandings which just further supports my point that they have a relationship that thrives on open communication and mutual trust. Drama is fun like when we’re the ones on the sidelines eating the popcorn but I have third wheeled enough people in my life to realize that I will not support a relationship where both parties are just not ready to be mature about it, in real life and in fiction. 

My favorite couples, in real life and in fiction, are definitely those who keep conflict among themselves and maybe among trusted people. I think one sign of a healthy relationship is one where problems don’t become public through social media or through like 20 people. One important yet underrated part of relationships is the atmosphere of comfort and freedom which encourages both parties to be able to directly approach one another before tensions and uncertainties get out of hand.  

And a life free of dramas at least in the early stages of life just kinda shows at least that both parties are ready to bring a new life to the world? Because like immature parents with shitty conflict resolution skills really fuck kids up man and I passionately believe the world would really be a better place if babies were born out of trust, mutual understanding and open communication instead of sex but yeah, make sex fun to keep our race alive.

So anyway, I guess, I just finished explaining why I love this ship so much while also disclosing my preferences for relationships. 

As mentioned above...

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

Other pairings which I support for those curious: Shikatema, Royai, Victuuri, Percabeth etc.

Also... To answer your second question... 

My week has been great, some pretty solid life developments but US elections wise, not so great... (WHY IS THE ELECTION RACE SO CLOSE?)

#levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #levi ackerman #hange zoe #ship #analysis

[softranswolves]

Mournful Monkshood

LAURA HALE APPRECIATION WEEK - DAY ONE THEME: LAURA DIDN’T DIE

Rating: T

Words: 1151

On AO3 here

Sitting on the steps of what once was Hale House, Laura glances over at the sparring teens, amusement playing at her lips. It's been a solid year since everything happened, and she sees the grove of monkshood in the distance, far enough to not tamper with her pack's senses but close enough to still see. Deaton planted it this past spring as a surprise, and Laura couldn't be prouder.

As Scott, Stiles, and Derek throw down in the treeline, honing their werewolf senses now that the fight with Peter and Kate is over, Laura feels a small bit of peace. Being called back to Beacon Hills amid the pain and horror of losing Cora so violently and unexpectedly tore her world apart. Derek's too, but he wasn't the Alpha. He wasn't the one responsible for their baby sister.

It had all started with Peter regaining his powers enough to go hunting. At first, he was simply drawn to the moon's bidding and killed without consciousness, but he came back to himself much quicker than he admitted to anyone, even his now-dead nurse. He hatched a plan during those months of isolation, free from his coma but enjoying the freedom of being presumed brain dead. He wanted to draw Laura in, kill her to take the family's spark that he felt rightfully belonged to him. Cora found out. She had already been tracking him, distrustful of him even as a child before everything happened. Apparently it wasn't just the Alpha he was willing to kill in his quest for power.

"Laura!" She hears Derek's voice, loud and alert but without true danger. "Laura! Get your betas off me!" Scott and Stiles have crushed him underneath their bodies, giving up on the actual training only to puppy-pile and force him to cuddle.

He was still warming up to them, though helping his big sister get justice was even more of a motivator. She'd asked his thoughts on building the pack back when they first returned, seeing how inquisitive the boys were as they searched outside of Stiles' father's purview for the body. It started as a simple way to start their sophomore school year with excitement, but quickly morphed into wanting to do the right thing.

After she and Derek talked it over, she explained the option of the bite to them, what it would give them as well as what it would cost. She didn't try to convince them, merely gave the facts, but they accepted without too much hesitation. They trusted her, and she had to learn how to cope with that, after losing one of the only other people she had already been given the responsibility of.The others were changed shortly after, though not originally out of a desire to build the pack. As the teens investigated at school, particularly the guidance counselor that seemed to know a little too much, Scott's connection to the Argent daughter bloomed into something deeper. Her aunt, the woman responsible for Laura losing her family to begin with, had returned to town. Laura implored Scott to not trust Allison, but as teens are wont to do, he didn't listen.

When Allison inevitably found out about him and Stiles being werewolves, she was fearful, but her mind hadn't been warped by the Argent legacy and forbears yet, and she came to accept him. On a routine hunt, her aunt accidentally shot her instead of Scott, and her father was the one to ask Laura for help. He'd been connected to her mother, a genuinely peaceful treaty drawn between them before hell broke loose. He knew what the Hales were here for from generations back, and he swore he wanted to uphold that tradition. As she lay dying in his arms, he offered to join her pack; when told he could stay human and still be pack, he practically snarled, saying he needed to show they were still human. Laura thought he meant the Argent family, but she was wrong. Chris was a good man, and he only became stronger and more focused after the bite.

Laura is broken out of her reflection when she hears the sound of a car pulling up, though it takes longer to actually see it on the trail. Standing, she listens for who it is, relief washing over her when she hears. The car finally parks, and out comes Laura's favorite redhead and deputy, the former running to jump into Laura's arms for a hug. They hold tight for a few moments after Laura spins them around and places Lydia back on the ground, pressing a kiss to her forehead before turning to Jordan for a kiss on the cheek."

You made it," Laura breathes out.

"Of course we did," Lydia says, gentle smile on her face. "She was important to you, so she's important to us." She squeezes Laura's hand and follows as they walk back to the house, skirting around to the back instead of inside.

Allison and Chris already stand at the grave, Chris' arm wrapped around Allison's shoulders. Victoria stands on the other side, still somewhat prickling with discomfort but willing to not only be there, but stay as well.

"Thank you for coming," Laura says to the Argents, two of whom are more officially a part of the pack. They have continued to hunt with Allison's new code, to protect those cannot, and Victoria's love for her husband and daughter encouraged her to stay with them and adapt to the changes. She didn't have as much of a stake in events as Chris, considering it was his sister who started the entire mess, but she still took responsibility for not seeing the threads of manipulation sowed by Gerard sooner.

"It's our honor," Victoria says, meeting Laura's eyes. "I can't imagine what it must have been like to lose your sister, especially when she was pack. I know my world changed when I almost lost Allison." She shifts her gaze to her daughter and gives her a tight smile.

Derek, Scott, and Stiles join the group, their panting breaths breaking the tension. Derek goes straight to the headstone and sits next to it, leaning his forehead against the side as he used to do with Cora when she was alive. Laura steps forward and places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tight.

"She'd be proud of you," Stiles says. When offered the bite, Stiles was the first to accept, remembering playing with Cora as a child when Laura would babysit him. Scott was sometimes a part of those memories, but that was before his dad left, when his home wasn't filled with emptiness and loss like Stiles'.

Laura turns to Stiles then, tears in her eyes, and pulls him in for a hug, not wanting to let go. She savors the knowledge that she has a pack again, and they'll do anything to protect her.

#tw fics #laura hale #LHAW2021 #*fics

[the-sun--will--rise]

Content warning: suicide, self harm, hospitalization

This is just me venting you really don’t have to read but at this point this is my diary haha 

Oh you know what time of year it iiissss

Ok this is not the time to be excited i just dont know how to be serious

It’s October 20 so you know what this is about (except no one does because im not sure i wrote anything last year and it used to be April 15) anyway, its been 2 years since “the incident” otherwise know as when i tried to kill myself and then three days later dropped off the face of the earth and told no one.

I really really hate that this is something in writing, but also I really want to, i like being able to look back at these and see where I was at and it gives me a place to reflect, honestly I should just put this in a journal or something but its a bit of a tradition at this point, and i type faster than I can write so I can get my thoughts out quicker this way. I was really hoping that April 2020 i would be able to say that I had gone 5 years and that this wasn’t something i needed to think about anymore (because on the 4 year one i said that, that i wasn’t sure if thinking about it every year was helpful anymore) but here we are 2 years again (and 6 so that’s fun im old).

I have a lot to say, a LOT has changed, big one pandemic. It feels weird because now it almost feels like everything before the pandemic is really far away and sometimes I can’t really think about living like that, not that my life is so so different (thankfully) but just a lot of little things and I think just everything happening all at once and then being home for a year and being so scared all the time is really weird. I’m not super good at remembering things or being able to put myself in my past selfs place anyway if that even makes sense, so its strange to think back on things from before the pandemic, when I was in undergrad and all that.

Updates: I moved to England, this is the fourth city I’ve lived in in four years and the third continent so that’s fun and honestly what i wanted for a long time, so with that im really happy, and I’m in grad school which was something i never reallly thought about until college, but im happy to be here, even if school is hard and stressful and lonely sometimes, I’m studying things I really enjoy and i really like being in school, i know that makes me kind of a loser or whatever but I just really like writing and studying so im having a good time.

I think (and change of tone here) the hardest part of thinking back and reflecting on the past two years is feeling like all the bad things that happened to me are a result of what i did then and that i could have prevented everything and not knowing how much was inevitable and how much i could have prevented. Like could i have prevented the migraines if I hadn’t taken as much of what i did as i did, if it hadn’t been for being on all those medications that i never wanted to be on and never helped? Would i have gotten celiac if I hadn’t been so nauseous from the migraines which led to an eating disorder, if i had just not gotten it would it never have happened? Because as grateful as i am that my life is going so well and that i get to be back in school and everything, things are harder now, its harder to study because im in pain so often, there’s no much I can’t eat and im so afraid that i wont be able to go to china next year because i wont be able to avoid gluten on top of all the other things I can’t eat. I’m just so scared that i made the rest of my life worse and it just feels like i never should have asked for help that i would have been better off if id just kept it to myself. I know realistically that it was only going to get worse if id already attempted twice at that point i was going to try again and maybe it would have been even worse, and i know that it wasn’t the right move to make me go to the hospital within 30 minutes of meeting me the school counselors should not have gone to such extremes so fast and i was told that they wouldn’t keep me and i was told that it would help and that people cared and they didn’t they didn’t help, there was no therapy, they made me take anti-depressants without even knowing if i had depression, they wouldn’t let me take my regular medicine, they just had everyone sit in a room all day and do nothing and there was no privacy and no one asked what was wrong or tried to help you get better, they just wanted you to stay (so they could make money?). I know i was failed and I know that the mental health system in general fails people and it fails people a lot worse than it did me, but i still blame myself. I also feel so guilty for what i put everyone else through so i feel like I shouldn’t get to complain (but im going to anyway because this is me venting) but I just didn’t say anything

and when R said that when she got my one text (i was told id be able to talk to people properly, another lie) and i said i was in the hospital that she suspected that’s what had happened, even if I didn’t say why i was there. I just wonder how long they knew something was wrong and if they were worried for a long time because i know i was a mess for week, i kept having panic attacks and I wasn’t eating and i was drinking too much and they asked if i was self harming still so i know they saw and im so sorry to them i thought i was hiding it better and i never wanted to put them through all that and i think sometimes if i had killed myself what would they have thought and then i just disappeared and they didn’t know where id gone and they told my parents and they had police involved and everything im just so sorry that i worried everyone and i hope they dont still think about it.

I spent weeks afterwards afraid to sleep because i was afraid id wake up there again and I couldn’t eat certain food because the smell would take me back and i was so anxious anytime anything reminded me of it its so stupid its not like anyone hurt me i was in a room for four days, it wasn’t that big a deal but i think it was all just so sudden and so not what i was expecting i thought at least now ill get help now i wont have to hurt anymore but all it did was make everything so much worse and no one will talk about it, my parents acted all weird and evasive and i made my dad cry, which he never does

I hate that i hurt people and i dont know how to make it better and i dont want to make things about me, especially when i think for a while after they were worried about me, especially when i was having a really bad time after and i was freaking out and not eating and the weird hallucinations like i know it was worrying to people and i freaked them out and it shouldn’t have been about me, i should have been there for them and i should never have hurt them but I can’t undo it and i dont want to bring it up 

i was just going through my calendar from 2019 because i wanted to see if id even gotten the right day (i had) and its so wild how much time has passed ALSO i have things in my calendar that i never went to and that’s really weird, like i have all the dates for tech for the show i was supposed to be doing the lighting for, which I never went to (obviously) and they didn’t want to me have anything to do with it even when i got back (which to be fair was half way through tech week, though they were always very well support you no matter what mental health is important, until it’s inconvenient, but oh well)

Anyway, i feel weird, like my chest feels weird thinking about that time, it was so  fucking scary and it seems so far away but i know it still affects me and i dont know how to make it stop

And now i see so many people on TikTok (so not a representative sample but whatever) talking about wanting a “grippy sock vacation” and things like that and even just typing that makes me so anxious i kind of feel like crying. I think its just so weird to me that people would want that or that they thought it was helpful and would want to go again because that was so completely not my experience. Not to get myself in trouble again, but if someone even suggested that to me (notice that I can’t even say the words :p) i would just run and not stop im serious i will never ever go through that again

I dont have any trust in getting better or getting help anymore and i know that’s not super healthy but im so afraid and I’ve had so many therapists (though a lot of them through apps) who were so completely unhelpful and some that made things worse that i kind of dont want to put myself through all that again, even if i know it would help to talk about things. I dont want to be a burden to people 

I know im not doing that well and the second i stop being busy all the time and actually think about things I’ll regret it but right now im busy and distracted so im doing ok. On one hand i know its going to get that bad again because it always does, but on the other hand i spent the last year of the precipice of it being that bad and it never really was and im determined to not let it get that bad while in in school so maybe it wont be i dont know i really hope it doesnt. I just know that what im doing right now isn’t healthy and the amount that i feel completely different around different people and the amount that im not aware of things going on around me (like how much time has passed or how im forgetting things as soon as they happen) isn’t healthy, its been going on for over two years and i dont really know how to fix it or what to do. 

I tried to make an appointment with the student counseling services (because that was such a great idea last time) but they said they dont have availabilities so basically just wait which i get but also right now i think a lot of people are going to need help so maybe get more people? I know they can afford it

So I’ve written a novel and i honestly dont even remember what i wrote so imma end it here, i have hope- there are times when im really happy but im also worried that none of this is sustainable and im keeping myself busy and distracted so i dont have to deal with anything and something is going to snap soon- also i need to be more present in my own life otherwise im going to miss something important (please dont let that be an omen jeez)

#me #dont listen #don’t listen #suicide #self harm #Ed #haha im a mess and it keeps getting worse but also maybe its slowly getting better

[thestarwrites]

All Right, All Might: Ch. 9

Word Count: 3,030

Rating: PG-13 (Mentions of a sexual nature)

Painting: Toshinori Yagi X FemOC

The UA Guidance Counselor, a quirk user with Pathokenesis, is shocked to find out her personal hero All Might is coming to be a teacher. The road they walk as a parallel starts to merge and there’s no telling what could happen. The attack on the USJ has sparked a lot of things from happening – including a new level of relationship for Toshinori and Keri. And now with the sports festival in two weeks, she starts counseling the 1-A students, and she gets to know class 1-A better than before.

---

CHAPTER NINE: TRYING OUR BEST

“Miss Chairo- you wanted to see me?” The calm and clear voice of Tenya Ida came though the doorway with a soft hesitation.

“Yes- come in Tenya, make yourself at home,” the guidance counselor smiled and took a deep breath, “I’m sure you of all people understand why you’re here today.”

He gave a nod, sitting on the sofa, “Yes miss. About yesterday.”

Keri smiled, “I just want to check in on you... see how you’re doing after everything, you were a real hero yesterday and I know that kind of fear that comes with not knowing what to do but having to act anyway.” She set a cup of tea in front of the boy on the coffee table, “You have that ability to act with purpose, I saw it also the other morning when you stopped everyone from stampeding out of the cafeteria.”

Ida blushed and he smiled shyly, “Thank you miss Chairo...”

“I just tell it like it is, Tenya,” she smiled, “Let’s talk about it, let’s try to unpack it from yesterday- you were a mess when I saw you. How did you feel?”

Taking a deep breath he looked down at his fists on his knees, “I... all I could think in my head was that I was abandoning them. That I was leaving them one man down while I ran. I thought, what if I’m not fast enough, what if there are villains waiting to ambush someone running for help?”

She nodded and listened to him, her forehead began to glow as she wordlessly reassured the boy, “Those are all very valid concerns, I haven’t been doing support hero work long, but I have known a lot of heroes - do you know the BMI Hero Fatgum?”

“Yeah! I’ve heard of him…”

“He always was afraid of hurting people or not being fast enough to save people - heroes are always afraid. But its the ability to dig deep and push forward that really makes a good hero. And you really do deserve your place here at UA. All of the members of your class do, you all have proved how tenacious you all are.”

Tenya took a deep breath and nodded, “I guess all heroes are afraid - do you get afraid Miss Chairo?”

“Of course I do. I was afraid yesterday when I found you running up to the school. But we had to act, hm?” He nodded and took a deep breath, “But it is completely necessary to decompress and talk about incidents after they happen. It’s important to talk about how we feel. Because if you bottle things up, or try to take things into your own hands… well, things don’t turn out well most of the time.”

He nodded and took a deep breath, “Talk about how I feel.” He nodded again, “Maybe as class rep I can help the other students keep being reminded of this valuable lesson!”

She chuckled and sighed, “Tenya I think that’s a wonderful sentiment, that’s why I wanted to become a hero therapist. Because I think it’s very important. So if you ever feel anything start to pile up on you, or you feel out of control, or afraid - you come and talk to me. And if not me, any of your classmates. Don’t forget now, okay?”

“I wont! I promise!” He grinned, “It does make me feel better knowing you were scared yesterday too…”

Keri smiled, “I’m glad, I always want you to remember, heroes are just people. You and your classmates got a very real taste of something very scary. You’re all handling it very well. I’m so proud.”

Tenya grinned wider, “Well I will do my best to never let you down, Miss Chairo!”

She chuckled, “Okay Tenya, just try your best… go on back to class now, hm?”

He nodded and bowed, always so formal, “Have a good rest of your day Miss Chairo!” He waved as he left, taking his backpack with him.

After Ida, she had some shorter visits with children who were more or less fine; Mineta, Sato, Shouji, Kaminari, Tokoyami, Hagakure, and Sero. They were very brief, mostly just a yes miss I’m fine, and back to class. She didn’t sense any trauma there.

The only one who came in who needed a little more counseling was the boy Aoyama - he was hiding the entire battle. He felt regret and fear about it. She thought back to what she said to Eijiro - some heroes don’t know how they fit. She’d have to think on how to help this blonde boy.

——

The final face before her lunchtime meeting with Izuku and Toshinori that she saw was the sweet round face of Ochako Uraraka. Keri smiled and took a deep breath, “Good morning Ochako, please come on in!”

The girl grinned, “How are you this morning miss Keri?”

“I’m doing just fine, especially since all of you kids are alright now,” She smiled, “And that Aizawa is even his normal miserable self.”

Ochaco giggled as she sat down on the couch, “I’m glad everyone is okay too… I was really worried about the teachers, but Aizawa, Thirteen and All Might all seem to be okay.”

“Yeah, you all are so resilient, how are you doing?”

“I mean, I’m a little scared but… you know, the teachers and the police are gonna protect us! That’s what they do.” She said hopefully.

Keri smiled, “Yes, they certainly will do their best - but don’t forget Ochaco, you also have to continue to work on getting stronger and having a strategy for when things don’t pan out as you hope.”

She nodded, “Of course Miss Keri,” she hummed, “Uhm - can I ask you a personal question?”

Blinking the woman smiled, “Sure, why not?”

“Mina said she saw you running through the hall and crying yesterday… are, are you okay?”

Keri blushed a little and smiled bashfully, “I was just worried is all, it was a long day, and I had to maintain normalcy for everyone, it just gets to you sometimes.”

“Is it…. Cause of All Might? Cause he was hurt?” Ochaco blushed.

She smiled a little, “Yeah… I was really worried about him. He pushes himself really hard you know? And so does Midoriya.” Her cheeks lit red at the mention of the boy, and Keri smiled, “I’m sure you were worried about Izuku as well?”

“W-well yeah… I mean… he’s my… friend, right? Of course I was…”

“Girl to girl - I think we both had the same worry.” Keri smiled warmly.

Ochaco bit her lip, “I- I mean— I just wanted him to be okay! I mean — you and All Might - well that’s different! I saw you guys in the hall this morning holding hands— Not like, not like I want to hold hands with Deku!”

“Breathe, Ochaco,” Keri smiled, sending soothing energy over her, “You are in a safe place and I do not discuss sessions. Izuku is a handsome young man, and he’s strong and courageous. A lot of the boys in your class are pretty remarkable. There’s nothing to be ashamed of thinking good things about someone you admire… and you’re right, All Might and I were holding hands, we’re just… trying it out, you know?”

“I thought you guys were already dating when I met you.” She blinked.

Keri laughed, “No… no I only met him some months before you all did, I was working here my first year last year, and at the end of the semester, All Might came into my office thinking it was where Principal Nezu was located, and he scared the hell out of me, I’ll tell you.”

Ochaco laughed a bit at that, the heat being taken off of her developing feelings, “How did you get so close?”

She smiled fondly, “Well, he is the Symbol of Peace, right? He’s supposed to be unbreakable, infallible, strong and sturdy and happy — All Might is still a man, like anyone else. He gets scared, and hurt, and upset too. I just offered him someone to talk to.”

“So you’re like, his therapist?”

“More like a friend, he listens to me too,” She smiled, “We just kind of… hit it off I guess. We became really close friends - then we got into a fight before school started. And since we made up, we’ve decided to see if we could be more than friends I guess.” She blushed.

The teen smiled, “Well I hope you guys stay more than friends.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” she started, “All Might deserves to have someone he can share his time with - the tabloids have never shown him with anyone. It’s kind of sad if he has to save the world, and he has no one to hold him when he’s sad. Everyone needs someone to hold them up.” Keri smiled fondly at the girl, she was certainly as sweet as Izuku was, “And you’re so nice, Miss Keri - and you always check on us - I mean, you checked on me the day of the entrance exam… you made sure I wasn’t in shock and helped me get to the bathroom when I was queasy. You’re both just… cute together I think.”

Keri smiled, “Well, thank you Ochaco… that’s very nice of you to say. And you’re right, everyone needs someone to hold them up. So don’t be afraid of holding others up if you feel you want to, okay? Let your gut tell you what to do.”

She nodded and smiled, the bell for lunch rang, “Oh! I’m so hungry - I’m going to go meet up with my friends, but thank you for taking care of us, miss Keri.”

Smiling she nodded, “Don’t stop believing in the good things in the world, Ochaco.” Waving as the girl left she sighed and pulled the privacy curtain down, sitting on the sofa with a tired sigh. This was more than she was used to, she was a little tapped out from using her quirk for so long but she could bear up alright with some tea and food.

--

She jumped when the door suddenly flung open, “Hey!” The tall muscular blonde who opened the door cheered, “I am here! With young Midoriya!”

Keri just sighed and nodded, “Hello boys, come on in,” it was unintentionally punctuated with a yawn.

Deki frowned, “Are you alright Miss Chairo?”

Smiling at the green haired boy she nodded, quickly also seeing concern on her boyfriend’s face as he deflated, locking the office door, “Yes yes, just tired. I’ve been using my quirk for hours.”

Toshinori came over to her on the sofa, and he patted his lap, “You’re not overdoing it right? Do you feel nauseous at all? Here - why don’t you lie down here while I speak with young Midoriya? I’m sure a small nap would do you good.”

She blushed, “N- no I’m fine, promise.” If Izuku wasn’t here, she would curl into Toshinori like a tired kitten, but, this was school. No matter how close Toshinori and Izuku were, they are his teachers, “You don’t have to worry so much, I’m fine, honestly. You and Izuku just, talk okay?”

He nodded, “Well- I have a free period after lunch so… offer stands, okay?”

She nodded and went about making tea for her hero and her student, “Let me get some tea going…”

Toshinori looked to Midoriya and he gave a small sigh, “Fifty minutes.”

Keri winced gently at the frankness of her boyfriend’s voice, seemingly unbothered. The two of them had already had this talk, but he had some things to bring to the attention of his protégée.

“H-huh?” Izuku looked shocked, “fifty minutes?!”

Toshinori nodded, “That’s about how long I can use my power now… I overdid it too many times.”

“I’ll say,” Patho chimed in causing a look from both men.

“That Nomu was a real tough customer…” the blonde continued, “it took a lot out of me. At this point I can barely even look like All Might for an hour and a half.”

Izuku looked down at his knees and he grunted softly, “I’m so sorry, I should have just —!”

Toshinori burst into laughter, blood erupting from his mouth as he did so, “You don’t need to apologize for anything!”

“Toshi! Cover your mouth you’re getting blood all over my office!” Keri scolded.

He cleared his throat, using the old stained ladies handkerchief Keri had lended him to hold against his lips, “MAN, we are alike, you and me, kid.”

Keri sighed and came over, setting the tea tray on the little coffee table, “Have some tea, Izuku.”

“Thanks…” he said with a little shock in his voice.

After a pause in the room, she sighed, “I will take a walk, I’ve been cooped up in this room all day, I’d like some air.” She leaned in and kissed Toshinori’s head.

He reached for her hand and kissed it, “Knock the way we talked about when you get back.”

“Yes, Mister number one,” she smirked and waved, “Don’t be too hard on young Izuku now, you already are scaring him spewing blood like a sprinkler.”

“B-bye Miss Chairo.” He stuttered and looked back to All Might.

All Might watched her fondly before turning back to Izuku, “I brought you here to talk about the sports festival…”

--

Keri stepped out of her office and stretched, heading down the hall to the balcony near her and Recovery Girl’s office. She was worried about Toshinori - though when wasn’t she?

“Hello my dear…” the smoky and familiar voice of Midnight cooed from behind her as a hand dragged onto her back, “Going for a walk?”

She jumped slightly, “Ah- Nemuri- Yes… I needed some fresh air, Ive been using my quirk all morning - how did the meeting go?”

“Oh you haven’t been filled in by your man?” She smirked.

Patho blushed, “He is busy speaking with a student right now, I haven’t gotten the chance to ask him yet.”

“Well, All Might went on a big monologue about how this Shigaraki fellow is a spoiled brat - honestly that man is smart. But we don’t know much. Honestly we’re all just worried this is turning the small-time thugs and villains into a team to try and overthrow society.”

Nodding the younger woman took a deep breath, “That’s what I was afraid of too.”

“How are the children, though?”

Looking up she nodded, “They’re doing okay. Some of them are a little shaken up, especially Tenya Ida, but most of them just kind of put their trust in us and the school to continue to protect them, bu they know they have to work hard to be stronger. Best case scenario, really.”

Nemuri took a deep breath, “And how is All Might?”

“Well… you know him, he blames himself for not being there from the start. We were talking last night I had to kind of make him snap out of it, that self-deprecating hole he gets himself into.” She sighed.

“Last night?” She smirked.

“Oh- uh,” Keri blushed, “Toshinori stayed at my place last night, to get some actual rest.”

A grin spread over Midnight’s face, “So, there’s something I’ve been DYING to know…” Looking at her with skeptical eyes, Keri waited for her two continue, “Is All Might’s manhood bigger when he’s All Might?”

Keri sputtered, inhaling a breath and coughing wildly as she held to her chest, “NEMURI!”

“What! Inquiring minds want to know, Patho.” She purred.

Wiping her lips she shook her head, face furiously red, forehead glowing, “W-we haven’t— we’ve only kind of made out! We’re taking things slow! Oh my god why are you even thinking about his — his —“

“His cock?”

Keri started glowing, visibly shaken by this line of questioning, “MIDNIGHT PLEASE.” She groaned, “Why do you do this to me!”

“Because honey, you’re just so innocent about it all,” She gasped, “WAIT - are you a a virgin….”

Patho was still glowing as waves of embarrassment flooded the hallways, “What! N- no! No I’m not okay! I’ve been with someone!”

Putting her hands on her hips, midnight huffed, “I don’t believe you. I want a name.”

“Oh my god you don’t have to believe me!” She sighed and ran a hand over her face, trying to calm down, “Taishiro Toyomitsu.”

Midnight blinked for a few moments and then she held up her arms, “Am I supposed to know who that is?”

She groaned, “The hero Fatgum?? His name is Taishiro.”

“FATGUM? Are you serious? When? How long?”

“We met when I was in college okay! We dated for three years. It just didn’t work out, we were too different and he was just really committed to being a hero, and I was too committed to being a therapist.” She sighed, “Happy now?”

“Does All Might know?”

Blushing Patho shook her head, “No, and I don’t want to talk about past stuff with him yet. He’s really self conscious and he’s too sweet to admit it but he gets jealous I think. I don’t know, I just want him to be assured in how I feel before we go into our pasts.”

The older woman’s face softened, “You really do love him, don’t you.”

“I… I mean,” She took a deep breath, “Yes, I love him - I’m crazy about him. He’s the most wonderful man in the world and I just want to take care of him.”

She smiled, “I’m glad. I used to see girls he’d have flings with… most of them were fame whores or gold diggers, you know. And Toshinori is just too nice to understand sometimes.”

“I know he is. He thinks the world is a great place full of good people. He gets taken advantage of, but he never complains.”

Midnight hugged the girls shoulders, “He deserves someone like you, Keri, truly, someone who really does care.”

“Thanks Nemuri, you’re a great friend when you’re not being a pervert.” She laughed.

Midnight smirked, “Well listen honey, when you find out the answer to my question, I want to know,” She smirked, “Gotta run! Time to teach, kisses!”

Keri slapped her forehead and groaned, “I need to go lay down.”

#all right all might #toshinori yagi #toshinori yagi x reader #all might x oc #all might x reader

[sunny-flower-girl-01]

Ohana- A Hawaii Five-0 Fanfic  Chapter Two

Enjoy! Please let me know what you guys think!

I am switching up the POV in this chapter and will probably continue like this. If you have a specific POV you'd like to hear from the characters, let me know.

~~~~~~~~~~~

At the Palace-

"You what!" Danny screeched as they exited the elevator. After they figured out that their "suspect" was going to be no help, they headed back to the office. Thank God everyone else was out of the office at the moment. The last thing Steve wanted to deal with is everyone else finding out about this before he had a chance to process it himself. He had spit it out to Danny on their elevator ride up to the office.

A baby. Steve was gonna have a baby. Well, Thea was going to have a baby. Steve's baby. He sighed and walked straight into his office, ignoring Danny as he continued to ask him to repeat what he just said.

"I'm sorry, you got who, what? You got a girl pregnant?" Danny followed him into the office quickly. Steve sighed again and sank down into his chair, head in my hands.

"What am I gonna do, Danny? I barely know this girl. We hooked up once when we met at the bar at Side Streets! Hell, I never even told her my name! She called me out of the blue yesterday and told me she had to see me in person. That it was urgent. It took me a minute to even realize who she was." He ranted, leaning back into the chair and stared up at the ceiling. Danny, for once, was silent. He looked like he was thinking which was never a good thing. After a moment he finally spoke up.

"What's her name?"

"Thea Kenwood. Why?" Steve asked. Without saying a word, he got up and left Steve sitting in the office alone. "Where are you going?" He called after him. Not a minute later he was back and tossed a file down on the desk. "What is this?"

He sat down in the chair in front of the desk again. "Theodora, also known as Thea, Kenwood. I knew she looked familiar when I saw her at Kamekona's. Grace is best friends with her sister, Nora. She's going to a sleepover there this weekend so I thought I'd look into who was going to have my kid overnight." He said, leaning back in his chair. He pointed to the file on the desk. "That, is a complete background check on the woman you've impregnated."

Steve stared at the file. Everything he wanted to suddenly know about this women was sitting right on his desk. He would know just about her entire life if he looked into it. Normally, Steve would have immediately done his own research about this woman. But something told him he shouldn't do it. He needed to respect her privacy more than that.

Ignoring his own thoughts, Steve looked up at Danny. "Did you read it?"

Danny nodded. "Yeah. Are you?"

Steve pulled the file over to him, staring at it for a moment. He looked up at Danny and shook his head. "Anything important I need to know?"

Danny leaned back and shrugged. "28. A counselor and board member down at the Hawaiian Youth Center. She has custody of her little sister Nora, the one that's best friends with Grace. Nothing really stands out. Just a hard working girl trying to raise a 7 year old. "

Steve nodded, rubbing his hand over his face while he swiveled slightly in his car. Steve spoke softly. "I'm gonna be a dad." He looked at Danny with glossy eyes. His eyes widened then snapped shut. "Oh god, I'm gonna be a dad!" Steve dropped his head onto his desk. Danny laughed and threw his head back.

"Oh boy, Super Seal having his first freak out. I love it." Danny chuckled, throwing his hands up.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

After Danny's laughter dies down, they sit in silence for several minutes.

"She gave me an out." Steve said softly. Danny's head shot up.

"You didn't take it did you?"

Steve shook his head. "No! No, I... He pulled the ultrasound out of his pocket and looked at it for a moment before handing it to Danny. "A small part of me wanted to, but she gave that to me. How can I not be a part of my own child's life? I can't just go on with my life everyday knowing that my kids out there and I wasn't a part of their life!" Steve ranted, talking with his hands like his partner does.

Danny looked up from the ultrasound. He was remembering how he felt seeing Grace for the first time on the monitor that day in the doctors office. "Wait, are you mad she gave you an out?"

Steve sighed as he leaned back and rubbed his eyes. "No. I mean, I don't know. How could she possibly think that I wouldn't be there? That's my child too."

Danny shook his head. "No, Steve. I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. I mean you said so yourself. You barely know the girl. That means she barely knows you too. How the hell was she supposed to know you wouldn't just say, 'Oh that really sucks for you but I don't want anything to do with you or the baby.'" He put the ultrasound back on the desk. "That freak out you just had a moment ago, I'm sure she's been having a similar one. She had nothing to tell her that you wouldn't just leave her and that kid out to dry." Danny sighed, leaning back to cross his legs. "Look, I know finding out you're gonna be a father is scary. I was terrified when Rachel and I found out we were gonna have Grace. Hell, she's seven years old and I'm still scared every day. But hey," Danny stood and reached across the desk to pull Steve to his feet and into a bro-hug. "You're not gonna be alone. You know we got your back no matter what."

Steve smiled and returned Danny's hug. "Thanks Danno."

Danny pulled away in time for Steve to see the eye roll at the nickname. "And whether she knows it or not, we've got Theas back. So anything you guys need, just let us know. Speaking of, are you gonna tell the cousins today or wait a bit?"

"I think I'm going to wait a bit. I at least want to have another chat with Thea and let this all sink in some more." Steve said. He pulled out the other piece of paper that Thea gave him with the ultrasound. "She has an appointment today that she invited me to. She said if I couldn't make it it wasn't a big deal. Id like to try and make it, but by the looks of this case I wont be able to." He sighed. He really wanted to be able to be there. He just hoped that Thea wouldn't like his not being there as a sign that he didn't want to be involved. That was a conversation that he was going to have to have with her. His job was dangerous and demanding.

"What time is the appointment? They usually aren't that long so I don't see why you couldn't go." Danny asked him.

Steve glanced at the slip of paper. "11. Its just 9:30. I don't know if Ill be able to make it. But I told her I would call her later even if I wasn't able to show up."

Danny shook his head, following Steve towards the office door after they saw Chin and Kono walk into the offices. "I swear, I'm going to get you to that appointment. Trust me, they're more important than you think."

"Hey boss, we think we have a new lead on our suspect." Chin said, going to work on the tech table to pull up some surveillance footage.

"Alright, what do we have?"

The doctors office-

Thea sighed, plopping the magazine down on the table in front of her chair in the waiting room. The wait was going on 30 minutes and the seated were extremely uncomfortable, even for non-pregnant women, Thea imagined. Finding a better doctors office was on her list of things to do today before she had to pick Nora up from school. Mindy was supposed to meet her after this for lunch so she could get her recommendations, but also so she could finally tell her who the father was. This was a conversation Thea was dying to have with her best friend.

She was also going to have to have a conversation with Rachel. Through the girls, the women have gotten pretty close. Rachel offered to help out with Nora whenever Thea needed help. Rachel told her that she remembered how exhausting it was to still work while pregnant and she couldn't imagine having to go through this alone, regardless of the father's help with the baby or not. She told Thea that everyone needs a support system and to not hesitate to call if she needed anything or just wanted to talk to someone who has been there.

Thea was thankful to have a wonderful support group. Between Mindy, Rachel, all her friends at work, and now from the sounds of it, Steve. She was finally starting to feel better about this pregnancy.

Thea smiled to herself and leaned back in the waiting room chair. Right as she was starting to get comfortable, her name was called. She made small talk with the nurse as they walked back to the exam room.

"So I hear were at 12 weeks already!" The nurse said excitingly. "Will the father be joining us today?" It was a routine question, her nurse last week had asked her the same thing.

"No, he's stuck at work. Its just me today." Thea said, smiling friendly at the nurse. It felt nice to be able to say that and actually mean it this time. She had used the same excuse on her visit a few weeks ago. She really hadn't expected Steve to come today but felt like she owed it to him to have the option.

"Aw, okay. Well, well make sure we get some good pictures of the little one for him to see." The nurse smiled and let Thea into the exam room. "Okay, if you'll just change into the top laid out on the table, then lay down, I will be right back to get started."

Thea nodded and waited for the nurse to leave before quickly changing into the paper like shirt. She groaned at how sensitive her boobs were rubbing against the thin fabric. She had already turned to wearing sports bras on most days since regular wired bras just weren't comfortable anymore. And she didn't see it getting any better for the rest of her pregnancy.

She hopped up on the table, trying her best not to mess up the paper that was laid across it. She leaned back and closed her eyes so she could try and get comfortable.

'Goddamn, the chairs and tables are made of bricks.' She thought to herself.

There was a knock on the door that startled her a little. "Uh, come in." Her eyes widened slightly when she saw Steve poke his head in the door.

"Is it okay that I come in?" He asked, opening the door up a little more to walk in.

Thea smiled softly at him. She hadn't expected him to show up today. "Yeah of course. I just didn't think you were going to be able to make it." She watched him walk in and close the door behind him. He walked over to the exam table and glanced down at her small bump that was much better to see in the top she was wearing now than the one she had on this morning.

"Yeah, I didn't think I was going to either. I have to get back to work after this, but I really wanted to be here so Danny and I made a pit stop." He said.

Before Thea could respond to him, there was another knock at the door and the nurse came into the room.

"Alrighty lets- Oh! Hello! You must be the father?" She smiled at Steve, a bit flirtier than Thea liked. She had no claim to Steve, so she didn't know why the nurse grinning at Steve like that irked her so much. They were going to be co-parents, that's it.

Steve politely smiled at the woman. "Uhm, yeah. Yeah I'm the father." He said, looking down at Thea, who was still looking at the nurse with a slight indifference. As a cop and SEAL, Steve picked up on it quickly, but Nurse Amanda, as the woman just introduced herself, didn't seem to notice the sudden change.

"Alrighty then, well, lets get started and see how your little one is doing." She pulled the monitor over to her. "Lift your shirt up to your chest," She motioned to Thea. "And I'm going to put some gel on. Fair warning its a little cold.

Thea pulled her shirt up to right under her boobs. She glanced up at Steve who was looking like a nervous wreck. Thea couldn't help but laugh a little bit.

"What?" Steve asked, his eyes meeting hers for the first time since he walked into the exam room. His green eyes met her amused ones.

"A Navy SEAL and a cop, and you look like you're about to faint." She giggled.

"I prefer the term, pass out, and no I'm not. I'm fine. Its just.." He trailed off, looking at the wand Nurse Amanda had in her hand. She pressed it to Theas abdomen gently and spread the blue gel around.

Thea took Steve's hand and squeezed it gently. This was her second ultrasound but she remembered how scared and nervous she was. "I know." She smiled softly. They both looked over at the nurse to see her turning the monitor around for them to see.

"Looks like the babies are doing great!" She exclaimed.

Theas head snapped away from the monitor and to the nurse. "The what?" Her eyes were wide. She was having one baby, not two.

"The babies. You're having twins!" She looked at the shocked faces of Steve and Thea. "Did you not know?"

"Does this look like the face of someone who knows she's having twins?!" Thea said loudly, causing Steve to snap out of the shock he was in. This morning he found out that he was about to be a father of a child. And now two. Theas hand was still in his, squeezing harder and harder.

"I'm not having twins. My last ultrasound showed ONE baby. ONE." She said.

The nurse moved the monitor over more so they could see. "One baby was probably well hidden behind the other, or was just not able to be seen on the screen. Lets see," She hit a few buttons on the screen then the sound of two rapid heartbeats came through the speakers. "There. There's the heart beats."

Thea opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. Her eyes began to water up. Steve pulled one of the chairs over to sit next to her. His eyes never left the screen where he saw the two babies that Amanda had pointed out. He wrapped his other hand around his and Theas joined hands and lifted it to his lips, squeezing them gently. Thea squeezed back, looking over at him. She tried to hide the smile she had on her face but she couldn't.

"Twins would explain the all day morning sickness and the fainting spell you said you had earlier in your pregnancy. I'll take a couple pictures for you, then the doctor will be in."

Steve pulled their hands away. "Fainting spell?" He questioned Thea.

Thea used her other hand to wipe the few tears she had. "Uh, yeah. I was on my way up to my apartment one day with Mindy and I fainted outside my door. I thought it was just the heat and the long sleeved shirt I was wearing plus with how sick I had been feeling. After that Mindy kept asking if I was pregnant. A few days later I took a few tests. She looked at Steve. He had a look on his face, a worried look. It was only one time, I'm on my vitamins now and I'm careful about the heat." She gave his hand another squeeze.

Amanda said they would have the pictures for them at sign out and excused herself from the room.

Steve and Thea sat in silence, both thinking about what just happened.

~~~~~~~~~

After typing in this POV I'm not too sure how I like it, but I wanted to get this chapter out in time. I might come back and retype it later.

Please let me know what you guys think!! I really appreciate the feedback!

#steve mcgarrett #steve mcgarrett imagine #Hawaii Five 0 #hawaii five o imagine #danny williams #danny danno williams #grace williams #rachel edwards #mindy shaw #kono kalakaua #chin ho kelly #five 0 #mcgarrett

[iconsumeheadcanons]

hello, for the WIP game.... "fanfic in my google docs? its more likely than you :/" and "theater food" :)

bro...bro..BRO you are getting large chucks of these bc im not sure if these will be finished/posted anytime soon..<3 ive gotten a lot of love today thank u so muchhh asldkfjaslkdfj i hope u enjoy!! here is all of ‘theater food’ and half of the first one

fanfic in my google docs? its more likely than you think :/

May 30th - 16:33 - Afterschool

Ren was still in the middle of hastily reading Futaba’s texts from hours ago when he opened the door to his family home and found his mother pacing in the genkan.

“...Mom, wha-?”

“I got a call from your school,” she says instead of hello. Ren freezes. Mona shifts in his bag. There’s silence for a second too long, but his mother quickly catches his tense posture and readjusts her approach. There haven’t been any arguments in a week and she doesn’t want to make this a new one.

“The counselor said you were fighting with a first-year,” she starts in a more inviting tone, but she tenses when she sees how quickly Ren’s cautious neutral face shifts into a frown.

“I-I just want to know what happened,” she says.

Ren releases an angry huff instead of turning around and leaving because he recognizes that his mother isn’t trying to jump to conclusions--that she trying to hear his side--but he still has hours worth of bad emotions at the forefront of his mind, so he kicks off his sneakers without undoing the laces and haphazardly drops them on the shoe rack before he allows himself to say anything.

Of course, because he is an angry idiot, his first response is: “There was no fight. It was just an argument,” and he snaps his mouth closed because that is exactly what a delinquent guilty of starting a fight would say and Makoto would be so disappointed in him right now. Morgana delivers her phantom message with a disapproving really, Joker?

His mother guiltily shifts her hands, one eyebrow twitching at Morgana’s muffled meow.

“I just used the words of the counselor,” she amends, gesturing for Ren to enter the family room. 

When they enter, she sits at one side of the rickety couch and pats the other seat. She smiles with some invitation, a dash of hesitance, and a sprinkle of uncertainty as if she has no clue how to speak to her teenage son. She looks at him sort of like he’s a child, but at least she doesn’t seem afraid of him like she was before Golden Week.

Ren joins her at the couch, releases Morgana on to the space between them so he doesn’t have to think about the distance, and conjures up how he can best explain the events of the morning in the least incriminating way (shouldn’t have to, he thinks, didn’t do nothing wrong in the first place) but his mother recognizes his thinking face before he can start.

“W-whatever you say, I’ll believe you, sweetie,” she encourages honestly. He can tell she means it because she tucks her hands in between her knees and tilts her legs in the picture perfect display of humble motherliness to hide how her legs would bounce otherwise. He turns to face her a bit, legs spread out and back slouched in a show of teenage indifference, despite his nervous right leg and the rhythmic flickers of light that bounce off of his phone case as he deftly spins his smartphone in his left hand.

“You mean that?” he can’t help but ask, belying his blase posture.

His mother nods with lips pursed, proving to her son that she has no intention of speaking over him. Emboldened yet reluctant, Ren begins the recount of his day at school.

theater food

    Ren slides into his seat while Hamuko and Ryuji chatter away about beef bowl places. Their enthusiastic discussion about cheap, fast, good food is not helping Ren’s patience or hunger. Usually Ren’s been in charge of the food prep because he’s the only one who knows how to make something all of the Thieves plus Hamuko will eat, but when they left Kamoshitty City today, Theodore pleasantly requested if he could make a recipe he’s been working on, which Hamuko had endorsed immediately.

    Ren agreed because Theodore is really hot and the thought of him buzzing around the kitchen is appealing enough, but around 40 minutes later, Ren is very hungry and is cursing his inability to disagree with tall hot people. To distract himself, he tries to brainstorm ways to free Haru and Makoto from Kamoshit-man’s unproportionately buff grasp, but his brain keeps snapping back to his teammates’ loud discussions and Theodore in a heart apron and himself in a cute pinafore sharing a festival smoothie--the romantic ones with the heart shaped straw--under the setting sun. He doesn’t even like smoothies.

    From the other corner of the weird theater lunch tables Futaba sends him a blank look that implies that she can hear his raging gay thoughts. Ren sticks his tongue out at her, and to Futaba’s left, Nagi raises a thin eyebrow and points at herself as though she thought he was talking to her. Embarrassed but never one to lose, Ren sticks out his tongue again at her paired with a flirtatious wink. At the head of the table beside Ren, Akechi makes a face. Futaba gags. Unaffected, Nagi returns her attention to Yusuke’s analysis of Hamuko’s preferred color palette for her hypothetical thief costume.

    Ren’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he fishes it out, wondering how someone managed to text him while he’s in a magical dimension theater metaphor place. He quickly gives up that train thought when he sees Futaba’s SNS username. A quick glance up shows that she’s pointedly staring at her phone, so he swipes open the message.

wat did theo say he was making?

i hungr

idk

worried u wont like it?

duh

if hes anything like those tsuntsun twins he’ll probably poison it

...i didnt think of that

prolly not though. i mean hamuko trusts him

ur only saying that cuz hes a pretty boy 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

for real though he wouldnt

The twins would without a doupt

*akechi voice* haha it was merely a jest!

DSKLFASLDKFSD STOP HES RIGHT

HES RIHGT NEXT TO ME ASSHOEL

    “Food’s ready!” Theodore announces over Ren and Futaba’s unsubtle snickers. Somehow, Theodore has acquired two shining serving platters.

    “Theo, you’re the best!” Hamuko says, standing up immediately to help him serve because she (and Haru) is the sweetest person in the universe.

    “Thanks,” Ren tacks on because he’s ‘in charge’ and he’s supposed to ‘set good examples’. He does not, however, stand up to help because he is lazy.

    The rest of the group is already chorusing thank yous and crowding around the food like hungry animals. Makoto is not around to tell them that they’re acting like children. Akechi is patiently waiting for everyone to get out of the way before he serves himself, which is probably a smarter idea than Ren who’s walking around the table so he can insert himself between Ann and Ryuji, the most destructive eaters of their current group. Yusuke, another main offender however justified, already has a bowl full of what appears to be noodles, veggies, and chicken covered in a savory sauce.

#my writing #p5 #p3 #pq #the firsts a lil wordy but i like details so ykno #idk how to make text others colors on desktop but ren is italized text

[dangan-happy]

give me back my glitter, monomi!!!

hi mods, i hope things are doing well for all of you.. i don't usually do things like this, but I'm desperate, i guess. i don't really have anyone to go to. i DO have online friends, but they're already busy with their own problems and i don't want to make it worse.

since lockdown and online school started, my executive dysfunction is getting worse. i keep submit my assignments past due date. it's so hard for me to start working for some reason... especially past the due dates. i usually had my energy and motivation in this kind of stuff after some time recovering (even though it took months...), but after almost a year, i just can't seem to grasp that energy and motivation anymore. the feeling of overwhelm and fear keeps holding me back.

my parents don't help either. they keep me up until 12 or 1 am almost every nights doing extra chores. I'm more focused at nights, so i feel exhausted and passed out the whole day most of the time. if i tell them i have assignments to do, no matter how important it is, they would get angry and threaten to punish me by taking my devices away (which is not good bc i need them for school).

i did ask for help in a server i used to be in, they said sleeping, showering, and taking walks would help. but I'm not allowed to go outside, and if I *do* sleep, I don't have much time for assignments except for chores given by my parents. showering and pacing around my room wont help either. and if i DO get time to do my assignments, i would be scared and doubting to do it and find myself staring blankly at the wall for a long time.

i can't even do my own hobbies like drawing and reading novels because i keep worrying about my assignments!!!! but like i said before.. it's so hard to start working and stay focused. i tried so hard, but i keep blanking out.. and my hands refused to work. i swear, i really tried and i HATE being not able to work like any other normal students.

I'm scared for my future. my grades decide for my future and my family depend on it. I'm very close on graduating highschool. I'm the oldest child of two, yet I'm not showing a good example infront of my younger brother (who is 7 btw). I swear I'm trying to be a better person, not just for my family but also for myself.... I want to work hard, I want to be a good student like I used to be but I find it very difficult. I feel so alone.

that's all i could remember in my mind. thinking about it in more details make me feel horrible. i wouldn't ask for advices because i doubt they could help me anymore (although the efforts would be appreciated), but may i ask for encouragement from komaeda, rantaro and/or taichi fujisaki? (if all three can't make it, then I'll ask for taichi only instead if that's no trouble) i keep feeling about giving up and i don't want that. maybe a little push? my English isnt my main language, i hope i make sense. thaank you and have a nice day!

H-Holy moly with a side of macaroni, kiddo. That’s a huge plateful right there; you truly have been going through a lot, huh? Don’t worry about your English, by the way; for it not being your main language, you did a great job! Phew, for a moment there, I was almost ready to program some advice. Heh, see what I did there, kiddo? A-Anyway, I’m just glad you spoke up about just wanting some encouragement and a bit of a push instead. I hope a average programmer like myself can do just that.

Kiddo, I acknowledge that things are really rough for you right now. I-It probably feels like you’re up against this huge computer virus that you can’t seem to destroy or shake off. O-Okay, that was sort of a bad, bias metaphor, so I’ll say something else. It... I-It probably feels like despair; despair that might feel too overwhelming for you. But while I may know more about programming than anything else first, I do know something else that isn’t related to programming, and that is: You can and will get through this. I-I believe in the power of hope, and you should, too! I have hope in you, kiddo, and I mean that. I have hope that you’ll be able to fix your academic issues; hope that you’ll continue to work hard and better yourself as a individual; hope that you’ll succeed and show others just how talented you truly are. Of course, I know you didn’t ask for advice, b-but just keep in mind that if you ever need to confide in someone, please confide in someone. Don’t hold it all in. Whether it be me, someone else on this blog, or someone else entirely in your life, just try not to bottle it all up, o-okay?

I see a bright, hopeful future for you, kiddo. I-I’m serious! I’m more serious than when I finished my most recent programming project last minute, and that project was... a rather important, huge one. L-Like I said, things are rough right now, but that doesn’t determine your future. As long as you try your best, th-then what more can anyone ask for? I-I only ask for the best from my child, and so, the same goes for you, too, kiddo. J-Just do your best to stay on the side of hope, and keep your head held up high. I’ll even help you with gaining some hope of your own, if you want.

I-I know you didn’t ask for one, but if hugs count as giving you a little push, then mind if I give you one, kiddo? Y-You deserve it for having to deal with this much despair and fighting back against it. I hope some of this made you feel better and gave you what you wanted. I’ll be on my computer if I’m needed again, kiddo.

-

Hey there anon, don't worry about it. I'm happy to help out. Things are going pretty well for me, thanks for asking, but let's focus on you now. I'm real sorry you're so desperate. Yeah, this whole blog thing is an interesting way to do things, but I'm glad we can be an outlet for you, at least for now. That's a real nice thing for you to do, worrying about your friends like that. Just know that you don't have to keep things like this in. You're not a burden, and you don't have to stay quiet. I can't say I know too much about executive dysfunction, at least at a personal experience level, but I do have a general idea of what it is. Times are freaking crazy. It makes sense that you're relapsing, as crappy as that is. You said that fear is holding you back, and is there something specific that makes you afraid? Maybe exploring that will help you out a little.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like your parents are any help at all! What chore is important enough for you to stay up past midnight? That seems more than a little crazy in my book, and I think that's probably a big thing that's holding you back from getting stuff done. You've obviously heard this before, but sleep is important. With the chores thing and device thing combined, yeah, they're a huge roadblock. Yeah, that is some pretty good general advice you got from the other server, but yeah, I don't think that's gonna be too helpful for your specific situation. Is there any way you could motivate yourself? That's another thing that doesn't help in all situations, but it's something to keep in mind. Hey, you can't help the fact that you don't work like other students, you can't control your feelings all the time, and that's ok. It sounds like you're stuck in a cycle of chores, minimal sleep and stress over assignments, and that would take a toll on anyone. Could you use your hobbies as a way to motivate yourself? Maybe work for five minutes, then read or draw for five minutes?

Hey, you're almost graduating, and I think that's awesome! Even if you're struggling a little now, you've come a long way. Honestly, I don't think you should feel too guilty about not being a good example. Honestly, I don't think you're a bad example at all. The odds are kind of against you, and you got things and people actively making it harder. I can tell how hard you're working, and that's seriously amazing. You've sure as hell earned my respect. I think you're actively fighting to be the person you want to be, and I'm so proud of you for that. You're not alone, that's for sure. I'm no stellar student myself, and I've seen a whole lot of people give up way faster than you have. It's ok, you got your point across, and you don't gotta think about it anymore if you don't want to. Honestly, yeah I don't think I have a whole lot of advice aside for this. I think you wanna talk to teachers, or a counselor, or any other professional who can get you some extra help. There's not a lot I or any non professional can do on our ends, and I think the extra help would really help you out. Yeah, you sure as hell shouldn't give up. You're so close, and you're not as hopeless as you think you are. I can tell you're fighting for this, and I know you can make it all the way through. It might take a little bit of extra work, but I know you're tough and resourceful enough to see this through to the end. You're already a good person, and continuing to want to be better is really impressive. You're an amazing person, and you can handle this ok? Try to have a little faith in yourself. Honestly, your English seems fine to me, I never would have guessed it wasn't your first language. Anyways, I really hope this helped, I wish I could do more for you. You can do this, I know you can. I hope you have a nice day too!

My my Anon, your Luck seems to be all over the place. Truly Despair is trying to sink it’s disgusting claws into your life. Your English was fine Anon. You did a good job if I do say so myself, hehe. I’m glad you were able to calm and talk to us! I may not be the best but I shall try everything in my power to raise your Hope.

For starters, friends are supposed to help each other, it’s what makes you friends after all! If they are uncomfortable with you venting or that’s what you think, try asking them first before doing so, sometimes people aren’t ready to handle emotions like that. This pandemic has done a number on many of people. I’m sorry that it’s been going worse for you. Turning in assignments on time must be hard as well. But in my opinion, turning them in is better than not turning them in at all. Doing your work is also very important. I’m glad that even if you do have little energy, you try to use it to do your work. Trying to get energy to do anything is hard as well. I’d consider that burn out. Sometimes you just need time for your brain to heal, to process things that are happening in your life. I’m sure it’s quite overwhelming, how school has to take extra precautions and be online, or a hybrid class. It must all be very difficult to grasp.

Your parents seem to be a bit...strict? Having you up and doing chores for that long and that late isn’t good for anyone. It seems you tried explaining to them beforehand, but I’d like to see if you could try one more time. If that doesn’t help, maybe talk to a family member to help you out in some way? Maybe they help make your parents listen to you.

Hehe sorry, I’ve just been giving you advice this entire time! My bad, can’t help trying to help people, even if I’m garbage. Anon, I applaud you for coming this far, through all this crap and Despair, you’ve been trying your best to push on! Even through the darkness you’re still trying to be a good student and do your work! I’m so proud of you! I’m glad that you’re trying to take steps to help improve your energy as well, taking care of yourself is very important in any situation, no matter how little energy that you have! Once you graduate you won’t have to worry about this stuff for a while, and maybe things will get easier! I know your brother knows you’re trying your best, he can see it I’m sure! I hope you don’t mind I give you a hug! Hopefully it’ll help take the weight of your shoulders and give you some Hope.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #taichi fujisaki #mod hajime #rantaro amami #mod rantaro #nagito komaeda #mod nagito

[cupcakemolotov]

New York, New York

So I finally finished a thing, and its not what I thought I was going to wrap up first but that is life! It is completely SFW, and very much “Canon, what Canon?” And its been more years than I willing to admin since I applied for colleges, I just glossed over those details. :)

Also, formatting, why are you like this.

-

Caroline rolled her eyes. “Bon. I don’t want to say I told you so but…”

The groan was loud in her ear. “I know, I know. But who would have thought it would be this bad?”

“Me. I thought it would be that bad,” Caroline said with a laugh. “And then I told you about it so you could avoid it. And then you didn’t.”

Bonnie muttered something so low, even Caroline’s vampire gearing couldn’t quite catch it. “Well, we're going to put down rules. As I’ve already told Elena, I might not be a vampire but I have a perfectly good set of ears and there are some things I do not need to hear.” Bonnie huffed out the last sentence. “And I refuse to have to spell my own bedroom to sleep.”

Caroline bit down on the side of her tongue to keep from commenting, knowing it would do little good. Somehow Damon and Bonnie had become friends, and while she would never understand it, she and Bonnie had come to an agreement. Caroline wouldn’t be automatically negative about Damon as long as Bonnie managed to do the same for some of Caroline’s friendships. 

It was a work in progress. 

“Well, if you need some breathing space, you are welcome to come hang out with me for a weekend. I’ve been melting my credit card, and I might as well use those points for something instead of shoes.” She glanced towards her bedroom and grudgingly admitted the next sentence. “I really don’t have the closet space for more shoes.”

Bonnie seemed to consider that. “Shoe collection aside, it can’t be that small…”

Caroline laughed. The apartment was a small one bedroom and technically outside of her budget, her dad’s insurance money only went so far, but she hadn’t felt a lot of guilt over her teeny tiny use of compulsion. Not when the renting market was so high and her textbooks were so expensive. And while hardly microscopic, her bed barely fit into the space designated as her bedroom. She did have walls that separate her bedroom from their living room, her couch, TV, and small table were tucked pretty close to her tiny kitchenette. The big selling point had been the claw-foot bathtub. She’d given up having a real shower, the  shower-head had been rigged above the tub and the shower curtain she’d bought was super cute but if she’d still been human the breeziness of the space would have been murder. Overall, the space she had carved out for herself was cute but cramped. 

And she wouldn’t change it for the world.

“It really can be. You should have seen Mom’s face when she agreed to co-sign, which is another really weird thing about this city. My credit check was stellar, I had the cash for the down payments and still they wanted a co-sign, but whatever. The good news is my obsession with HGTV has taught me plenty about hiding organizers, and thankfully, I don’t really need the kitchen.” She wrinkled her nose and looked down. “Though carpet is new but seriously ugly, so I am going to have to invest in a rug, I think.”

“The lack of needing a kitchen thing is kind of ideal for New York, but I personally am going to miss your stress brownies, though my hips wont,” Bonnie said with a sigh. “And your note taking. I already miss you in Physical Science, and why are Gen Eds so terrible?”

Caroline rolled her eyes. “It cannot be that bad.”

“Says you,” Bonnie retorted. “And anyway, Elena just stuck her head in to remind me that I promised to go to some Freshman Orientation event, so I guess I gotta go. Stay out of trouble, will you?”

“You first,” Caroline retorted. Bonnie laughed and disconnected the call. For a moment, she held onto her phone before sighing and setting it on the coffee table and flopping onto her couch. If she closed her eyes and listened she could hear everyone in her apartment building, which was something she hadn’t really thought about when deciding on an apartment.

Not that she’d had much time to figure things out. Weeks instead of months, but Forbes women were nothing but resourceful. And very, very determined.

Caroline just hadn’t expected her mom to get stubborn about her college experience. She’d expected Liz to be fine with Caroline going to Whitemore and sticking close to home, and it’s been a shock when things had gone sideways. When Caroline had marked down NYU on her SAT application form, it’d been on a whim. She’d been required to pick three schools and some part of her just couldn’t stick to the local community colleges. 

And later, when her counselor had handed her the application packets, she’d stared at them for hours, considering. She had never thought she’d get in or that she’d get enough of a scholarship that living in the city would be manageable if she was careful. Very, very careful with a bit of compulsion thrown in at least. She’s considered it for all of thirty seconds before tucking the acceptance letter away. 

There was just too much going on that she could walk away. Even with the Originals packing up and moving on, there was still her mom to worry about. One of the perks of being a vampire was that she could always pick up those dreams later. 

Her mom had disagreed. Loudly. It’s taken three days before Caroline has finally cracked, and admitted why she had refused. And she’d learned a lot about her mom that morning that she hadn’t expected, and hadn’t had much time to contemplate with the scramble of getting into NYU. Her mom hadn’t even argued when Caroline had dragged her to NYC to check things out and to smooth over the issues her late application had caused. 

Compulsion really was quite handy if she was careful with it. But more importantly, NYU was totally close enough that if she had to she could get on a plane for an emergency, but her mom, in a bit of underhanded maneuvering that Caroline had admired, had made a very specific list of what could be considered an emergency. And then she’d invited Elena and Bonnie over for dinner, and her mom had also explained it to them too. It’d been weird to have someone else fight that battle, but good. 

Above her, something crashed and there was muted swearing and Caroline sighed heavily. She was really going to have to make a point to stay well fed. Going on a rampage because Courtney in 4A couldn’t keep her dog from yapping at all hours of the night was not ideal. She had been prepared to listen to her neighbors have noisy sex, well, at least until she could get Bonnie here to do some proper spell work, but the rest of it was a learning curve. So far, eating had been going okay. 

She’d been getting tips. 

And boy, would her friends freak out as soon as they learned who she’d been texting. But Caroline had always considered herself pragmatic, and her options had been limited. Stefan would rather light himself on fire than give her any kind of 101 Guide To Eating People Without Killing Them, and she would rather light herself on fire than talk to Damon. 

Klaus…

She blew out a breath. Klaus was her friend, even if her graduation ceremony had made his position on… things… perfectly clear. But weirdly, she’d found his words strangely boundary defining and a relief. Last love was definitely not now, not anytime soon in fact, and his acknowledgement of that had eased the knot she always seemed to carry around in her chest. And so when she stood in the middle of the hustle and bustle of more people than she could remember really seeing in one place, like ever, she’d let herself text a number she’d refused to admit to anyone she had memorized ages ago. 

And he had responded. 

And Klaus had kept replying, no matter when she sent him a question. In between organizing her life and schedule, he’d been extremely helpful without any sort of judgement. If anything, he seemed more resigned to her lack of knowledge than anything else, providing her with Vampire Basics she’d never thought to ask Damon or Stefan about, and the knowledge had helped. Accepting the monster under her skin was not something that was going to be easy, but Klaus providing actual information about the whys and the hows helped far more than she thought she’d ever tell him. 

And his faith in her control was not something she’d ever expected to need. But he’d offered it with no prompting and the truth was she made an excellent vampire. She was good at it, thrived with the challenges of it, and she thought the next few years would be good for her. And it was nice, knowing that if she screwed it up she’d have people who’d help her fix it. Even if  some of them were just  a tiny bit more dangerous than others. 

Head tipping to the ceiling, she chewed on her lip and sighed. Putting Klaus in one category had never been easy, even when he’d been firmly in the villian bucket. She didn’t doubt he would continue to refuse any easy labels, and she thought she might be okay with that. 

For now. 

Pushing to her feet, she stretched and sighed. Classes started in two days, and while she’d already organized her books and started doing some pre-class reading, there was no harm in double checking her planners and reorganizing her books. And after, maybe she’d go for a walk. Check out some of the all night places near her place to plan for future all nighters. The kind of places you’d take broke friends to for pie.

The sudden knock on the door startled her, because she hadn’t noticed any unusual footsteps. For a moment, her pulse slammed in her ears as she recognized the slow thump of a dead heartbeat. A familiar barely their heartbeat that promised something old was outside her door, and one that should not be in New York City. Reaching for the phone she tossed on her coffee table she picked it up and typed out a quick text. No point in guessing who was there; not when it was pretty easy to check without moving any closer to the door. 

Caroline [8:30pm]: Seriously, tell me you are not standing outside my apartment. Like, right this second. 

A soft vibration, a low noise of amusement was all the confirmation she needed and Caroline stomped towards the door and yanked it open. “Are you serious right now? How do you even know where I live? I didn’t tell you that.”

Eyes gleaming, a hint of dimple curving in his cheek as he looked up from his phone, Klaus smiled at her. “Hello, Caroline.”

Arms crossed, she leaned against the door and huffed to cover the way her pulse skipped at the sight of him. He looked the same, same clothes and same hair, but she felt his presence with an awareness that did not bode well for her intentions of thinking of him as only a friend. Klaus had always straddled that line but here, outside of Mystic Falls, it somehow felt different. Better. And that was not something she could allow with her plans laid out in front of her. Plans that did not suit him. “Yeah yeah, hi. Why are you here?”

He slipped his phone back into his pocket, lips tugging upwards. “I was in town, and I thought I would stop by. See how you are settling in, perhaps come up with an idea for a house warming present, since it seems you will no longer need that mini-fridge, hmm?”

“In town,” she repeated, ignoring the rest of his words. “Doing what? Because I am attempting to avoid vampire shenanigans for the next four years, Klaus. I promised my mom.”

“Nothing like that,” he assured her. “Just a quick errand, and I head back to New Orleans tomorrow. I am quite invested in you having the experiences of your choice, sweetheart. No one will bother you while you are here.”

Caroline paused. “No one...  as in no one? Are you threatening people again? People I haven’t even met?”

“Not yet,” Klaus said mildly. 

She bit the tip of her tongue to stop the barrage of words that wanted to spill out. Slowly exhaling, she forced herself to let it go. There was a time and place for this discussion and she wasn’t sure right then was it, not when she was so surprised to see him, and she could hear some of her neighbors coming up the stairs. “Don’t think we won’t discuss this later but I suppose you can come in?”

“Thank you, and I don’t doubt it,” he murmured as he took her invitation and stepped into her home. His gaze swept her space and for a moment, she had to stop herself from fidgeting. This was her first space that was hers and Klaus was the only person besides her mom who had seen it. He walked slowly through her public space, and his words were sincere when he spoke. “You’ve done a lovely job with your home, love. “

For some reason, she had to fight down a blush. “Thanks. The carpet sucks though.”

He slid her a laughing glance. “An entirely fixable state of affairs.”

“You will not compel my landlord,” she warned him, exasperation almost hiding the hint of her own smile. “About carpet or anything else, Klaus.”

He made a low noise but no promises. “And how are you liking New York?”

She did smile then. “I love it. But we’ll see if that sticks when I have to deal with the snow this winter and pushy people and an overheated subway. I’ve been warned.”

His laugh was soft. “I think you’ll manage. And while it's a bit late in the evening, could I interest you in dinner? My treat.”

Caroline eyed him carefully. “Taking me to dinner will not get you out of explaining how you have my address or any potential yelling about it.”

Klaus slid his hands into his pockets and dimpled. “I would expect nothing else. But I do hope that’s not the only topic you wish to discuss tonight.”

Curious, she tipped her head. “Oh?”

He lifted a shoulder, gaze intent. “I assume you’ve picked out your classes? Have your semester organized down to the hour? And while I am certain you more than have the knack of feeding down, sweetheart, I’m happy to answer any remaining questions you have or even provide a demonstration or two.”

The idea of hunting with Klaus did something funny to her stomach, and she turned towards her room to cover it. “I’ll think about it. Give me ten minutes to change and then yes, you can take me to dinner. But not something fancy, I am not in the mood for multiple forks. But wine would be great.”

His laughter followed her into her bedroom and she shut the door. Taking a deep breath, she forced down her tangle of emotions. One night out with Klaus wouldn’t hurt anything, she reminded herself, and he was right. She did have questions, and lists, and she should probably take the opportunity to go over everything while he was here in person. Plus she’d be willing to bet he had an opinion or two he’d be willing to share about rugs. 

Squaring her shoulders, Caroline headed for her closet to slap together a friendly dinner date outfit that would be suitable even if he did take her somewhere with too many forks. But they were definitely going to be chatting about his business in the city, and how he would not be dropping by without warning whenever he wanted to.

No matter how nice it was to see him. 

#my fic #klaroline #klaroline fanfic #klaroline drabble #sfw

[avellanas-nutty-empire]

Covid has really been hitting people hard, but today, as a University student in her third term, I'd like to talk about schools spesifically

I remember last year in my second term when classes got moved online. I had an anxiety attack week one because I just couldent do it. I just cant do school things while I'm at home - I cant even read for leasure (something I really enjoy doing) at home. Theres too many House things to do at home, that's why I designated spesific things to do elsewhere. But now I cant leave my house except for work.

My english teacher too, told me of the day it was announced the whole college was going online, that he saw teachers crying in the hallway. If I were teaching that year it would have been me aswell. But instead, I took the 2020 fall term off, picking up more hours at my essential worker job with my terrible boss who somehow hadn't gotten fired yet. I took the term off, hoping to avoid the chaos of online learning while it was at its worse. But I couldent avoid online school forever, if I skipped a second term in a row i would have to re-enroll; an unnecessary spending of 50$.

This 2021 spring term, I was talking with my counselor about the due date to drop classes; he said the final day to drop without getting marked down for it AND fined for a late fee was feb 17th, a good 3 or 4 weeks after classes start. Great. Except today I got an email saying a 3% late fee would be applied by the first of February.

That was 17 days of class I could have spent figuring out if I had too much on my plate or not. I was already prity confidant I would keep astronomy and psychology, but Spanish Film became a big issue today. The teacher was sick the first 2 days, so today was our first real lecture. Her native language is spanish, and thus she has an accent. An accent I just cant understand (none of which is her fault).

It's hard enough paying attention to the zoom lectures, but now I dont even know what the teacher is saying? How am I supposed to deal with that. I tell my mom and shes completely unremorsful - saying I should just turn up the volume (I have sensitive ears and would like to actually be able to hear when I'm her age so hard pass - it also genuinely just does not work for me, I did try it) or I should just drop the class. But then I start wondering what if this spanish film is the one class for its UCORE requirement I can actually pass? What if the other options are harder and I make things worse by dropping it? What if - what if - what if -

And I feel myself start to spiral. But I dont - I cant have another anxiety attack over online school. This is only the beginning of the term, I barely made it though the last 4 weeks of last years term. Pull yourself together and just email her

I finally gather enough courage to press send on the email I typed up asking her to see if she can figure out how to add CC to help me pay attention and focus (and also just genuinely know what the fuck she is talking about cause I was so lost today). A few hours after I send that email, she posts the next film and assignment along with graphic scene warnings for the film. I cant even read the warning sentence without almost getting triggered.

At first I thought telling her about it would be out of the question, considering she still hadent responded to my previous email - that would be asking for help twice in one day on 2 different subjects. But as I keep thinking about it, weighing my options, I cant stand it anymore. The warning sentence alone was too triggering - and if I watched the scene I would surely get worse and worse symptoms of my irrational fear. I cant watch that scene. So I email her again telling her as much, asking for an alternate film to watch (as she stated she would do if students needed one) or if I should just try to skip past the scene and watch the rest of the film.

She emails back rather quickly, saying not to worry and I dont have to watch it. But she doesnt say anything about an alternative and still hasnt responded to my other email. I start to worry again. How bad of a student must I be to ask for help/special circumstances on 2 completely different areas of the class to put me on an equal playing field in less that 12 hours. Now I'm that student that's always asking for special things to help me. What if it turns out I'm lying about needing them and I'm just doing it to be lazy and get out of extensive work? How terrible of a student must I be then?

No. I remember in 8th grade my math teacher told us about 2 students he used to have that raised their hands and asked a lot of questions every day in class, and one day they came up to him and said 'we must be your worst students, huh' and he was all 'on the contrary, you are my best students'

They asked questions. They asked for help when they were confused, and they learned a lot more by asking than doing otherwise - I'm sure a few other students learned at least a bit from their questions too.

So no, I am not the worst student for asking for accommodations. I'm a responcible adult who genuinely wants to learn from that class and not fail or need to drop it. I want to be successful. And if that teacher wont help me, it's not worth taking her class.

So go forth, and ask your teachers questions with the youth of a 6 year old asking random off topic questions just for fun!

Tl;dr you arent the worst student ever for asking for help no matter what kind of help or how much you ask for - it just makes you a better student, and better than the teacher if they refuse to help you :)

#avellanahablando #school #anxiety attack #anxiety #help #accommodation #special circumstance #online school #question #questions #online learning #zoom class #zoom lecture #college #university #covid #covid19 #coronavirus #i rlly hope i did the tldr thing right

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

 Ok guys its finally finished!!

Introducing the last two main families in my anxciet au!

Please meet the princes

The Prince family

( from left to right)

Rebecca Prince

The boys’s Mother, goes by the names Mother, Ma, and Bec-bec

Her and Diana have been married for 7 years at this point, and been together for about 10(they met and started dating on and off since high school until they got back together permanently during college)

Punk mom punk mom punk mom punk mom punk mom-

She raised roman on her own for his first year before remus was born, in which she started dating Diana again more seriously

She majored in nursing and later in  sociology in college before dropping out to take care of her boys and raise them right

Shes currently going back to school for the sociology degree inbetween her current job

She works as nurse and receptionist at a doctors office in town

Shes in her mid forties current time( where roman is 22, remus is 21, and kingley is 14)

Shes a pretty tough love kinda parent, and doesnt mind rough housing with her boys when they get too out of line and rowdy( they all enjoy the playfullness of it)

But compared to Diana she is not the scary when angry parent, and she can actually be pretty lenient with the boys depending on the situation

She also tends to be the one who gives into their requests and in kingley’s case, puppy eyes, though she puts on a tough front when she does

Rebecca is such a softie for her family I just i cant she loves them so much

She makes dad jokes just to annoy and embarrass her sons, but only makes either classic dad jokes or purposely really bad ones

100% supportive of her older boys’s relationships, and loves to tease Roman about Patton all the time

She also enjoys building things, and helped build the play structure and treehouse that are in the backyard.

Shes probably the reason Remus has no filter, as she has little filter herself

Her hair is naturally honey brown but she dyed it recently to make a statement to a shitty coworker so currently her hair is purple blue and pink

Shes usually pretty reserved around anyone thats not her family, so its a bit of a shock when people see her playful and rowdy compared to her reserved, professional front

Remus prince

The middle child at 21 but hey he can (legally) drink!

Wild feral trash man no matter what, but now hes got a switchblade and two brothers hed fucking kill for( though he wont admit it about roman)

Hes dating Logan and shows a slightly softer side to him only, and hes ride or die with his boyfriend

He tried college but it didnt suit him, so he ended up dropping out and instead getting two part time jobs: one as a vet assistant and one as a bartender, both located near his current apartment

Hes been best friends with Ethen for as long as he can remember, they grew up together and he considers Ethen a brother practically, and remus would probably be in a bad place without him and Remus recognizes this

He has a love for theater and acting that he shares with his older brother Roman and was in pretty much every school performance growing up, and even majored in theater for a bit when he was in college

He also writes alot of original short horror stories 

Hes an adrenaline junkie and loves doing reckless things for the fun of it( usually dragging Ethen or Logan along with him)

He doesnt have a youtube channel of his own but he pops up frequently enough on Ethen’s channel when joining him for explorations that Ethen’s subscribers know him well, and love seeing him in videos

Hes only got two filter and their names are Logan and Ethen 

He wants to get a snakes as pets just as much as Ethen but Their apartment has strict rules 

That did not however stop him from bringing home a in rehabilitation small fresh water turtle home from work one day, and its the only exception to the no pets rule because Remus fought tooth and nail over the fact it was part of his JOB DAMMIT HES KEPPING THE TURTLE IT NEEDS CONSTANT CARE--

ahem. anyway the turtles name is Sir snappy and he adores her

He LOVES teasing both his brothers, even if it means getting teased back he can usually take what he dishes out

usually.

He also has a drivers license but does not currently have a car as he is trying to save up to buy a motorcycle 

Kingley “King” Prince

The youngest of the family!! The also the shortest!!

He goes by the nickname “ King” and has for a couple years now

Hes fourteen and hes very upbeat and cheerful!

Hes also one of Andy’s best friends( He isnt crushing on andy dont listen to remus) and theyve been friends since second grade

Did I mention that they have sleepovers as often as they can? Because they try to. Usually King, andy, and Liam are nearly glued to the hips unless they cant be

Hes got a wild imagination and lots of ideas that he loves to share and try to put out as songs, stories, drawings, etc

He has severe ADHD and takes medication to help him narrow his focus more, as well as to keep his energy levels more consistent so he wouldnt be hugely energetic in the morning and dull and falling asleep by noon. But the medication doesnt effect his creativity sometimes it even helps boost it because he can focus better on his ideas instead of getting too many ideas at once to focus on and work on

His hair has blonde highlights in the winter and looks nearly fully blonde in the summer

Hes got his mama’s caramel brown eyes and tanner skin, as apposed to his ma’s more peachy skin and green eyes

This boy loves to wrestle and roughhouse, hes got alot of energy that needs to be ran out by bedtime and what better way then wrestling his older brothers for the tv remote when they visit? Or playing games at the park or in the backyard until the sun goes down 

He also loves to sing and draw, he can usually be caught humming and you can find doodles all over his homework and school assignments

He also got braces when he was 12 and he loves them and always gets new colors for them as often as he can convinces his parents to agree to

Roman Prince

The eldest brother at 22!

He works at the local theater as a theater tech and assistant director and also performs in a good chunk of the plays put on as well

He loves his job, especially when they put on musicals

He has a college degree in directing and one in music composing

Hes known his boyfriend patton since they were kids since their families are really close, 

He also writes his own short plays and stories that are sometimes performed at his work!!

Oh and this boy our boy roman can cook, hes learned all his cooking from his parents and absolutely loves cooking and learning new recipes and experimenting with old recipes! He also brings extra food into work to share with his coworkers and the actors in case someone doesnt have food with them or the money to buy something( as some of the workers there are broke college students or high schools trying to get experience) He and Patton share this hobby and sometimes have playful cooking competitions in their kitchen!!

Hes got a huge dvd collection that fills tree shelves of a bookshelf in their apartment 

He also holds some acting lessons to younger workers at the theater in the case someone is struggling with a role or performace

Roman is also a very smooth motherfucker in the romace department when he wants to be. Hes romantic and pays alot of to little details and goes all out for date nights, whether theyre at home dates or going out dates he tries to make it as perfect to you as possible

Also he speaks spanish and likes to sing to Patton in spanish to swoon him on a bad day

Diana Prince

The boys’s other mother! Goes by Mama, Mum, and baba

Shes in her late thirties early fourties

did I mention theyve been married for years? I did? Good good

Diana is a blunt sweetheart with a bubbly, snappy personallity and a fiery temper

Shes really good with kids and has a degree in child psychology and works as a guidance counselor at the local high school

She also helps out at their neighborhood’s church with events and sometimes helps with services as an organ player

She plays piano and has been since she was young, she can also play the guitar

She absolutely adores her family but watch out if they break a rule or get themselves into trouble she is the stern one and does not let them get out of trouble. Puppy eyes are wasted on her you do the crime you do the time and the extra chores no arguing.

That is not to say that she wont listen and hear her boys out though, its just normally after hearing them out theyre still in the wrong( pray for remus is he ever got arrested for anything cough cough the homecoming incident cough cough)

Shes been friends with Emile since high school and sees his boys almost like her own, and cares for them as such. 

She speaks spanish and told Roman and the others from a young age, but Roman is the only one who kept with it strongly, Remus only uses it when he angry and King is still learning

Shes an amazing cook, on par or even better than Emile( a statement that has been yet to be confirmed)

She is also a confirmed lover of making big meals 

She loves being outdoors and playing with her kids

She also enjoys doing embroidery as a relaxing hobby

And lastly introducing...

The Daniel family!!

(from left to right)

Olivia Daniels

Logan and Liam’s mom! Shes a psychology professor at the local college! 

Shes been going by the name Olivia for about 16 almost 17 years now and shes never been happier!

Olivia is technically their step mother, as she joined the family after Logan and Liam were born, but very early in their lives( Logan was 10 and Liam was three)

shes in her mid thirties

Her and richard have been married for 12 years and are still going strong!!

olivia is more of a gentle soul kinda person, shes peppy and softer spoken and has a very soothing and trusting presence to her. Shes easy to make laugh and loves making people smile

She also enjoys bringing treats to her classes for her overworking students

Shes not much of a cook but she does try dammit

Looks super sweet but shes a force to be reckoned with if you fuck with her children let me tell you

She wouldve made an excellent therapist had she gone into that field, shes good at listening and offering solutions

She also paints in her spare time!! And sells her paintings at local art shows!!

Shes got the worst sweet tooth ever Richard has to hide sweets in the house

She also works at the same college Logan attends, same with his father

Shes the only blonde in the family with green eyes

 Logan Daniels

Out sassy skeptic! He’s 20 years old and currently attending college with a biology major and a astrology minor!

Hes pretty reserved at first glance, being the calm and common sense to both his best friend Virgil and his boyfriend Remus

But hes such a dork when you get to know him. He could go on for hours and hours about his interests(something Remus loves listening to)

He lives in a single person dorm on campus and works in the student union as well as does tutoring sessions for high schools for extra credits

Hes been dating Remus for a good four almost five years , and they met in freshman year of high school

His dorm room is covered in various posters for astrology and bands he enjoys, as well as a few old theater posters from Remus’s old performances

He was  goddamn punk during high school, and Virgil loves to bring this up to embarrass him

He likes to always wear business casual unless hes staying in, and even then sometimes he keeps to his fashion habits a little too hard

Hes a decent cook, but he doesnt refuse the offer of someone else cooking for him either( or even going out to eat now and then) 

Hes a very large and firm skeptic and greatly enjoys debating with virgil different aspects of his beliefs and paranormal experiences, and functions as the one between them to reason away happenings with logic as a way to ease Virgils nerves. 

But he IS willing to see his best friends side of things if he is provided solid proof. 

He also makes plenty of appearances on Virgil’s channel for a variety of reasons, and his fanbase really likes him

Hes also a very protective older brother, and is not afraid to verbal destroy anyone who hurts his little brother(much to Liams angsty horror) 

He does have a car that he put Remus on his insurance for, so if his boyfriend ever DID need to drive it he would without complications

Logan also does join the boys on explorations, though this is a more rare occurance as he’d rather help them edit the videos and put them out in a timely manner

Hes pretty good at managing his student budget, but he has those moments of splurging randomly for things( as we all do sometimes)

Hes got a really REALLY nice laugh that not too many people outside his inner circle have heard

His eyes are a dark blue just like his dads, and he keeps his dark brown hair messy but practical

Liam Daniels

Logan’s baby brother! Our boy is 13 years old!!

Hes andy’s other best friend, and the final link to their little trio

Hes the more stoic of the three, as he is entering his rebellious angsty teen years a couple years early. 

He loves space and the ocean, and wants to be a marine biologist someday.

Hes not the best at being social, thats why hes got King as their talker and hes the snarky fighter

This boi is alot fiestier than he looks but only his friends and family know that, and he will throw down if you even just look at his loved ones the wrong way( despite his height)

He doesnt always get social cues either which makes him come off kinda rude in situations but I promise he doesnt mean it 

Someone got his mothers sweet tooth but cant have too much sugar because it messes with his body too much

like when he crashes from a sugar high he crashes hard and its BAD

Hes the shortest of his friends, just barely half an inch shorter than Andy

He always looks half tired and like he needs coffee but he cant have coffee so...

he loves to read and his room is filled with so many books!!

He also has a stuffed animal collection but shush about that its a secret

Hes also a spicy food lover( at least to a point, nothing too extreme) 

He likes baggier clothes because theyre more comfortable, and he prefers comfort of fashion

His eyes are a brighter blue and he keeps his hair alot neater than his brother’s

Hes also very snappy, with a comeback for almost everything

Richard Daniels

The dad!! He works as a chemistry professor at the college and a part time physics teacher at the local high school( switching days)

Hes very tall at 6′2(compared to the rest of his family)

He looks really strict but hes surprisingly laid back about alot of things( though rules and discipline are NOT one of those things) 

He is in his early fourties

He took care of the boys on his own for logans first ten years and Liams three before he met Olivia

Hes got the scolding parent look and The Tone mastered and sometimes even uses both on his students to get them to behave, with wildly successful results

Hes very logical and skeptical of things “unrealistic”

Was a stressed out stick in the mud before he met his wife, as he was a new single father trying to secure tennure in a teacher job

Hes the cook in the house, and is really good at it.

hes a more silent understood supporter of his children, as he is much more reserved than his wife

But he as the biggest soft spot for her 

He always tries to raise his boys with a strong balanced set of values and manners

He also can play lacrosse, and was considered the best player back in school

He doesnt have a good relationship with his family aside from his mother, so the boys have only met their grandma on that side, as he doesnt want any toxic mindsets or ideals influencing his children( especially Liam)

compared to Olivia  he isnt soft spoken at all but he would rather dissolve issues with communication and clarification, not anger or violence( yeah LIAM)

He also enjoys watching documentaries and doing casual photography from time to time

And its finally done!! All for families are complete and posted!!

Im really proud of these!! Especially the prince family photo! It took me days to figure out the poses...

All art referenced is credited to @aimasup @underdog-arts and @fangirltothefullest !!

Anyway i hope you guys enjoy! And hopefully soon ill be posting some writings for this au too! And posting more drawings! Enjoy!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@soupspam

@strawberryjellystuff

@aimasup

@unsocialchapeau

@underdog-arts

@fangirltothefullest

#my art #sander sides writing #sander sides au #sander sides #sander sides art #anxciet au #anxciet #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #deciet sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #ts remus #king sanders #king creativity #logan sanders #ts logan #logic sanders #intrulogical #remus x logan #deceit x virgil #sander sides youtube au #youtube au #human au

[spotsupstuff]

Im feeling soft as hell and Broken Shield simply wont fucking leave me alone, which Im not strong enough to fight bc Im having the time of my life, so some facts about WonWan!Tiso overall and few about his relationship with Broo:

Hes really bad with relationships. Like, even back home, in his colony, he didnt get to have too many friends

He managed to have only one friend that he hung around almost all the time with (Spencer ;) ) who I dont have anything on yet, except the fact that they were much more responsible than Tiso and knew him since they hatched

One day the colony got raided or something, Tiso tried to prove himself as a capable amazing warrior. And how the tropes go, Spencer gets killed in the process of saving Tisos ass

Tiso, quite frankly absolutely destroyed from such loss, makes himself a shield out of Spencers armor and writes a note for himself: “In memory of Spencer, dont forget”

The name at some point gets scratched out and he forgets. I might do a story once about him remembering again and journeying back home to investigate or smth but that is so far in the future that I cannot promise anything

Tiso leaves and enters the Wastelands. He travels for long, collects more expreriences, becomes a better fighter, even if his combat skills are focused on survival more than effectivity (such is why he gets far in the Colosseum, but then gets his ass kicked by the Mawlek)

His social skills are pretty much shit and he knows this, but tries to ignore it bc “strong warriors dont need companions”

His story arc in WonWan during Ghosts journey through Hallownest is the same, except the Trial of Fool - he does it with Ghost by his side (against his will)

Thats how he manages not to die, too. Ghost beats God Tamer and then races to stop the bugs that run the whole place from throwing him into Kingdoms Edge

He ends up living in Dirtmouth and after the infection passes, Myla moves in with him and they become these awkward as hell roomies (their house ends up being right next to the siblings)

And now for Broken Shield -jazz hands-

They stay friends for FUCK ALL LONG before developing their relationship further

Like they even start pining after each other at some point a bit, but both of them are like “no, I can NOT feel that towards him/them, theres just no fucking way”

Hollow was the only one who could see this and HAD prodded Brooks about it so they kind of ended up as their counselor which somehow worked out kinda okay

They fought together in the Colosseum and actually won all the trials before admitting their feelings for each other (Broo taught Tiso a bit about fights so his skills got more refined)

Right to that: they admit they want to be together after they get surprised attacked by some bugs- idk man- and Broo ends up pushing themselves too much and almost dies again bc of their heart going “no, thanks, Im quitting this bullshit”

Tiso carries them home for Ghost to fix and the falls asleep at their side (WonWan discord yall know what Im talkin bout ;) ). After Broo wakes up- and just stares at him for a while- they wake him up, too. He kinda breaks down and lets himself be truly vulnerable to them. Fluff ensues and then they admit they want to be partners. They proceed to fall asleep in each others arms

Nothing much changes at first, maybe they just stand closer next to each other, maybe they arent so afraid/embarrassed to lean against the other

Broo makes the first steps to make the relationship feel more natural. They pull Tiso along to learn their sign language more intensely (he isnt against it at all- he might have needed a moment when he understood multiple sentences for the first time to stabilize himself and not cry like a lil grub). They make it a point to tell him often how much they love him and dont expect him to say it back for quite long time. They figured it must be harder for him bc of smth in his past

At some point Brooks moves in with Tiso and Myla and its incredible fun and the amount of times Myla laughed bc of them or schooled them in something are incredible. Shes very supportive of their relationship and tries to offer good advice whenever one of them needs it

They get comfortable with each other both really slowly and a bit too fast at the same time. Once they get finally going, they often end up holding each other or just nuzzling close, especially in their free time. After 8pm its cuddles time!!!

Bonus, both Tiso and Myla often find Brooks doing this shit when they say they are going to cook dinner:

#Spot says stuff #Hollow Knight #Broken Shield #WonWan AU #weewoo weewoo Im living a good life #putting my thoughts down and sharing them bc I really want to share them but Idk how else :shrug: #Tisos backstory is still wip so it might still change