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kismetmoon · 10 months

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whenever i listen to my embarrassingly gigantic playlist filled with just completely random songs that i like and have been thrown in there, it likes to play ‘Taurnado’ from Centaur World every time without missing a beat

and every time i hear it i immediately think about how the Nightmare Realm might just be built on top of Bill’s home dimension with all of the burnt second dimensional corpses

and what if they could manifest themselves (via ‘left-over’ Nightmare Realm madness magic whatever) into a giant ghost or spirit type creature (akin to the Taurnado) - all working together as one giant organism - to just fuck with Bill for killing them. roaming around the waste of a dimension or appearing during storms (if they even have those there) or just randomly to scare the shit outta ppl

[Plain text ID: two digital drawings of an original Gravity Falls / Flatland crossover character named The Mosaic.

In the first photo, The Mosaic is depicted in it’s ‘line form’. It is a humanoid creature made up from various, small, monochrome shapes and lines and has a large glowing red eye for a head with a point on top and no pupil. It is holding out two of it’s hands to each side, while it's legs hang down loosely as though suspended in the air. A small depiction of Bill Cipher, a yellow triangle with a black top hat, and Kryptos, a teal rhombus, can be seen above The Mosaic’s right hand. The background is a very dark grey with a white circle that contains a light grey hexagon, a dark grey upside down triangle and an even darker grey line behind The Mosaic.

In the second photo, The Mosaic is depicted in one of it’s various ‘shape forms’ - as an isosceles triangle creature with limbs and a large centre yellow glowing eye made from smaller and monochrome shapes and lines. They are holding one arm slightly raised and a tiny depiction of Bill Cipher can be seen between their loosely pinched claws. The background is dark grey with lighter grey swirling patterns.

End ID.]

#it’s basically just a massive mosaic of dead flatlanders / second dimensional beings #a massive sentient mosaic #and it’s just their empty exoskeletons left over from the fire #that can switch into whatever shape it wants #but it’ll usually just stick to an isosceles or a line for the fear factor #i’ll just call it The Mosaic for any future posts about it #it speaks like a massive crowd in unison #with both male and female voices peeking through at different volumes randomly #just like the taurnado #bill cipher #kryptos #gravity falls #flatland #the mosaic #drew shapes without tails someone call me an ambulance

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bylertruther · 1 year

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do you ever think about how will probably wishes he was braver?

that he could tell mike the truth about himself without having to speak in code. that he could stick to his guns when he's been wronged and stand up for himself rather than tucking tail and turning the other cheek. that he could be less shy, less sensitive, less cowardly, and maybe then his loved ones wouldn't forget about him as often as they do.

maybe then they would pick him first, rather than leaving him for last. maybe then they would want to hang out with him and hear what he has to say. maybe then they would treat him like they used to, like he can still take care of himself just like they can, instead of like a fragile little thing that they pick up only when they need him. maybe then they would care about him as much as he cares about them. maybe then he wouldn't doubt that it could all come crashing down once they know who he really is, and always has been, because the rest of him would've been enough.

like, maybe he wishes he didn't freeze or run away so much. maybe he wishes he wasn't so afraid all the time, of every little thing. that he could be brave like mike, el, or his mom. i mean, el's been through so much, too. why can't he be more like her? why does he have to hide behind her? he hides behind her when the monsters come crawling back, and he hides behind her when he can't bring himself to say what he really means—even after getting on her case about it.

he spent so much time on that painting. he didn't let anyone see it—it was that special to him. why couldn't he own up to that? there's no monster in the van with him; it's just him and mike and this painting of the party, nothing inherently incriminating or romantic, and still—he can't help himself. he retreats back into the shadow, shrinks into himself, and tells lie after lie to the person that he never lies to, that he knows doesn't fucking deserve that, just because he's too scared.

of course he'd feel like a mistake sometimes. of course he'd hate who he is (if That script is to be believed), when he can't even talk to the one person that would understand without lying straight to his face, over and over again, like a fucking hypocrite. of course he'd feel so lost without the person that tells him it's okay to be this way and shows him that there is indeed strength in it. of course he'd hate who he is when he's encouraging someone to be true and speaking about their courage, all while being incapable of taking his own advice, and giving the credit for all of his love and efforts and emotions to someone else.

so many people died to bring him back, so many people died just because he didn't stay dead when maybe he should have, and for what? so that he can continue to hide rather than live his life? so that he can turn into a "worse" version of himself? so that he can live in fear? so that he can continue to ache for a past that he can never return to, while everyone else moves forward and berates him for not doing the same? time stopped in the upside down when will went missing, and he's been stuck there ever since, too. too much has happened for him to move on from. too much has changed—he's changed. he's too different now, in every way, and the older he gets the more clear it becomes.

of course he'd feel like a mistake. of course he'd hate who he is. he's the common denominator here: in his loneliness and in this war. the boy who came back to life when others didn't. the boy that got possessed and couldn't fight it. the boy that turned into a liar and a coward and must learn to live with it, even if it's at his own expense. the boy that can't let go of the past and whom the past won't let go of either, because even after everything, he's still connected to this great evil that won't let him go. they got it out of him, and yet the tether remains, because of-fucking-course it would.

just—why? why him? why can't anything ever go right with him? why is he always the outlier? i think that overwhelming amount of fear, shame, grief, guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness would wear anyone down, let alone a teenager that never asked for any of it and has experiences so unfathomably unique that the only other people that could have possibly understood are literally dead.

#will byers #byler #mine #long post #will #anyway. this is how i always interpreted the i hate WHO i am line especially in conjunction with the word ''mistake'' + being different #within the context of EVERYTHING that's happened to will and continues to happen to him and how unique it is to him in this narrative #bc rly. if you were will.... wouldn't you feel like a mistake? even outside of that outside of the supernatural i'm speaking to my #friends that have ''Something Wrong'' with them. when something happens to you and you're not the same after and you're surrounded #by people who are able to move on and be normal—don't you ever have those moments where you feel like a mistake? when you're #growing up and still interested in your same old interests but your friends start moving on and then you see that they went back to #those interests in your absence—don't you feel like you were the problem then? when people are able to be brave and you can't #find it within yourself to overcome your fear—don't you hate that feeling? don't you feel that negativity towards yourself when you #know that you SHOULD do something but you can't bring yourself to and it works against yourself? like. everything that has happened #to will E V E R Y T H I N G !!!!!!!!!!!!! can easily make anyone no matter what part of him you relate to the most understand that #u kno wht i mean? anyway. i jus wanted to bring this up bc his life is a fucking tragedy even without the gay stuff n his current pov on th #and the way that That conversation always centers on fear and bravery it's like. obviously being gay is not easy in that era but i don't #think that line is ''i hate being gay'' with no factoring in of the great many things that have happened to him which alienate him further #as well as with how he does want mike to know and his alan turing poster and his talk with jonathan etc etc #his conflict has always centered around how other people treat him and his issue with that bc that's what makes him feel bad #that just because he's different that doesn't mean that he's Different and must be treated as such #he's different and has people that make him feel BETTER for it like look at s2 for example all of those talks abt using what he perceives #as a weakness abt himself as a strength that no one else can bring to the table. and in s3 when he still believed in being a nerd #and never getting girlfriends etc but when it came from mike thts when he called himself stupid n started down this path bc now #there's that sprinkle of doubt. n tht doubt is the scariest thing in the world—understandably so #also. he literally has an evil monster in his brain like bdkfjhsbkdjhfbskj IT'S JUST A LOT.#he is different for many reasons and has even more reasons to hate Who he is the kind of person that he is #jus my take 😁👍

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impernaway · 2 months

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fic title: set adrift and alight?

It's not that Liv is listless, per-say. It's just... Okay. Take a step back, then take this step by step.

Blaseball isn't all he's ever known, but it's dominated and defined his life for decades now.

Blaseball is over, the Umpires declaring a new leader, a siesta, and then a quiet ending years later.

Everyone they had known in the Black Hole never came back when everything ended.

And that's. That's fine! She knew when she felt herself slip away and enter freefall that she might not see them again. She landed in the Charlestons and found Ankle there, she helped greet everyone who arrived after her in the years that followed, she had time to make peace with the holes in her life. She made peace with it.

And it's not like he didn't have plenty to do in the aftermath either. Sunken Charleston had been using Blaseball as an anchor of sorts and trying to settle that out and relearn how to two-step across a space that was suddenly spongey and stretch underfoot, like sprinting across a trampoline, that was a whole other experience. He and the team (and the former team, once a thief always a thief after all) had had to really band together to figure out how to safely navigate that space again.

It's just... They'd actually liked playing, was the thing. They don't admit it to anyone else, but they had. On the good days, the days where the Umps weren't burning up dangerous or the slush-ice of immateria wasn't dragging people under, it had been fun. Exciting. The GOOD sort of burn.

Oliver Loofah had long ago made peace with Blaseball maybe killing her and sending her (back) to the Hall. She'd just never actually made plans for surviving it, or what would come after.

Or figuring out how to stay in touch with people who he doesn't know will remember him at all now they have nothing in common.

#ask meme #my writing #oliver loofah #blaseball #what if you had accepted that maybe one day what you do in life would probably kill you #and send you back to the hall where you believed all your old teammates were waiting #and then it just doesnt happen and you suddenly have to figure out #your entire everything #how to life through the aftermath #how to grieve that many lost connections #how to process the sudden pivot in your whole life direction #surrounded by people who (to your perspective) probably aren't feeling the same because they hated it by the end #the mix of relief and dread as you're suddenly free to do whatever you want but you have no way of knowing what that is #and your social circle is so built on this unifying factor you don't know how it'll endure without it #and you don't say anything #because you fear the answer #because you don't know if the confirmation is better than the uncertain hope so you hold your hands still at your sides #because if you know for sure you've lost something else you won't know how to grieve that either #i think about it sometimes #i think about liv a lot still

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wavebiders · 10 months

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the blindspot re: Orym is very fair! he was mostly just some guy to me until that moment in ep 34 (and after that point, when i finally went back to watch EXU), and even then i didn't rlly start rotating him in my brain so intensely until Team Issylra arc as well

He just got so overshadowed by all the crazy shit going on with the rest of the party that I just never stopped long enough to really think about it! Even in episode 34 I was too distracted by the Laudna of it all to fully register what was happening with him lmao

I should do an EXU prime rewatch of my own soon, I feel like there's a lot of stuff about this lil guy that I missed

#him in the team Issylra arc tho #impossible to ignore #its like #he's in so much pain but he grew up in a community where the system works!#what happened to his family was an outlier tragedy he never had to question the status quo #and now everyone around him is questioning the ultimate status quo even as he fears it will clash with him getting his revenge #I don't think he was ever compared for things to get this complicated #he's 'just a guard' he doesn't need to think much beyond that #so he's got no framework to process any of this stuff even without the death of his family being a factor #it is messing him up in very sad and very interesting ways #critical role #cr3 #orym of the air ashari #lol im sorry the tags ended up being unprompted Orym word vomit he is in my walls #ask wave #boneheat #*prepared not compared but im not redoing all these tags

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forgetful-storyteller · 1 year

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Okay but. What is tgcs long term goal. Because I'm really starting to think they don't have one,, everything they do seems to be building them up to a point where no one wants to play sky anymore?? Everything they do feels like massive self sabotage? It just feels too stupid on their part for it to be a coincidence and yet. It probably is. And sky is going to keep succeeding as a game because no matter what happens and no matter what they do, people only talk about it for a few days and then go back to playing like normal. It's like they know that no one will actually do anything to stop them,, they know no amount of people will stop playing "just because" of whatever the reason of the week is. They can just keep getting worse and worse and worse

#sep talks #GENUINELY. I think genshin is a better game at this point #they r such similar games at this point that I do think it's fair to compare them #genshin at least is like. Not hiding the fact that it's a game that exists purely to make money #but at least they make it enjoyable. Every event has clearly had thought put into it #every new character too #there's no part of genshin that feels like a truly worse experience without spending money #it doesn't have the panic factor sky does with limited time iaps #genshin motivates players to spend money by having new and exciting characters with shiny new skins #and well you got your character why not get their signature weapon too?#genshin is a gambling game like any other gacha but like. The want to gamble is coming from love for a character #or the idea that this specific character will help u be better at the game/do more damage #sky makes u spend money bc of. The fear of missing out #they make a cool new item and list it at some exorbitant price and then give it a time limit before it never comes back #and BAM suddenly everyone wants it #it's not even always for the item. It's because the item is limited time only #same for the season pass + such #idk. Sorry I need to stop making these posts but it's rlly so frustrating #I know everyone loves sky I KNOW. But where is ur breaking point? What do they have to do??#tgc could call someone a slur and it would be The Controversy for all of a week and then everyone would forget abt it #and keep playing like normal

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timeisacephalopod · 1 year

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Y'all are aware of that 10 hour Harry Potter retrospective but the thing that gets me the most out of that whole thing that I never considered when reading the series is that wizards can obviously chose to adhere to the Statute of Secrecy but like... Magical creatures can't make that choice and Fantastic Beasts literally starts with Newt chasing down a rogue niffler, meaning that muggles probably frequently encounter magical creatures. There's no way that muggles and magical creatures could reasonably be segregated- Hermione's cat is half magical creature so how many muggle cats are also half neasel?

Like why on earth would you invent a world in which you have scores of animals, and also plants, that cannot reasonably consent to secrecy from muggles and the excuse of witch trials falls flat when actual magic exists that should factor into how those witch trials play out but never seems to come up. Anyway, the most unrealistic thing about a universe with magic and dragons and shit is that muggles would somehow never run into and remember a magical creature, there's zero way the wizards could catch every muggle who has seen something and obliviate them that's a herculean task designed to fail I refuse to believe no nifflers have ever stolen some muggles shit enough that they'd know what them little bastards were.

#winters ramblings #also why would creatures like centaurs who dont like wizards have to not talk to muggles?? its not like wizard treat them well #for them to fear muggle discrimination. why would THEY bother?? house elves?? no human has ever seen one??#Tolkien saw a house elf thats why gollum looks like that. like NO WAY through the ENTIRETY of the post SoS #that EVERY muggle who has seen magical creatures has been sufficiently mind wiped #also the dursleys clearly know about wizards and magic so how is it that the muggles of muggleborn kids #never seem to factor into the worlds politics?? what do THEY think of not being able to warn their other family #of the hreat of dark wizards?? what do they think of all those muggles being obliviated?? surely theyd be keenly aware #that if they leave their wizard partner its ENTIRELY PROBABLE that THEIR minds will be wiped??#H O W does this group of people have no voice in the series??!? like did hermione just never tell her parents #about that time DEMENTORS were guarded hogwarts from a mass murderer?? like Sirius was innocent but ???#did they not think they should have a right to have their magical kid educated WITHOUT happiness sucking monsters #and actual mass murderers PLUS dark wizards??!? what did THEY think of the slave house elves??#i want a story from THAT point of view and also how do these people not play into the worlds politics??#no way that the mugfles that DO know about wizards would be FINE eith having no say #and also magical creatures are 200% walking into people's gardens and eating shit #some mugfle is out there shitting bricks watching a hippogriff eat their roses and snapping pics #with their 1998 kodiak camera

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hylianengineer · 10 months

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I have felt vaguely yucky since yesterday afternoon. It is not going away and I am scared I'm gonna go to class today and like. Pass out or something. I don't feel that bad now but it's another heat emergency sort of day and I don't love the concept of putting my already exhausted and complaining body through that. Unfortunately, classes exist.

#i feel like. dizzy without the spinning.#like my body is urging me to be horizontal #i really hope this isn't an electrolyte thing #i live in fear of low sodium levels because one of my meds is a risk factor and also it happened to the twin last year. it sucked.#hylian rambles #i really feel only mildly weird i am just TERRIFIED of heat related illnesses

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powerfulkicks · 12 days

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fucccccckkkkkk i really need to write that octet video essay that's been percolating in my head for years

#i totally get when tumblr users say a piece of mid media can fucking change your life #like there are parts of octet that are SO FUCKING GOOD.#and there are parts that are okay #and there are parts where i'm like really man #like i'm relistening to some of the songs rn #and this one portraying a conspiracy theorist that includes snippets of qanon drops #it's so good #and such an interesting glimpse into the mind of someone who believes that stuff #in a way that i think was done really well #and solo the song about both incels and being addicted to dating apps #the contrast between the two of them #and the way the girl expresses at the end her fear that if she rejects these guys that might be the final straw #and they might go on to commit mass murder #it's something i've worried about!#and it makes you feel for the incel guy without justifying his world view #and fuck the music is just so so fucking good #but there are some areas that i think are really shallow critiques about virtual signaling #and online activism #and some things that just make me roll my eyes #and there are areas that i think he didn't really go into or didn't really give the full explanation #like with addiction to games like candy crush #there's no discussion of the way these games are intentionally designed to become addictive #same with social media #and i think that would've been great to include and it's a little disingenuous actually to not include it #gives an air of blaming addicts for being addicted without exploring all the factors that might lead to it #and mental illness is discussed a little bit but again pretty shallowly #man i'm basically writing the essay in the tags lmao

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purecommemasolitude · 12 days

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Something something people from countries that are at peace and prioritized globally do not know how lucky they have it

#I am too tired to get into my Taiwanese stress right now but like #idk man #believe it or not it really sucks having every headline about my country being about how China is threatening us once again #we can’t plan trips back to visit without factoring in whether China plans to bomb or invade #or whether they’re just trying to scare us #I’m so tired of it #and I think people who live in peaceful countries take it for granted sometimes #not to condemn them or anything. but if you live in a country that’s not constantly at threat from a foreign superpower #take a second to appreciate it every now and again #because this sucks ass #and I don’t even live there #og #personal #taiwan #i have a lot of other thoughts about it that I’m too tired to get into rn but like. living your life in constant fear?#wouldn’t recommend

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serialunaliver · 7 months

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there was a tiktok I made a while ago basically saying "your abusive ex boyfriend is more likely a misogynist than a narcissist" and while most people agreed some said I was victim blaming(?) and that I couldn't know what their ex is like, and while obviously I don't, every fucking person describing their narcissistic ex is describing a typical misogynist. ask yourself, is this behavior you associate with narcissism directed at women or does he treat his male friends the same way? is his general functioning in life impaired?

many people don't seem to know this, but a mental disorder is NOT based on symptoms alone, it's based on how much the symptoms actually impair you in daily life. most people could look at a list of mental disorder symptoms and identify either themselves or someone else with them. as far as a narcissistic personality, we all know people who appear more self absorbed than others, but this is typically subclinical narcissism (presence of narcissistic traits without significant impairment of functioning) which is not a disorder. there is also a misunderstanding of what npd is. a narcissist is not a supervillain invincible to emotion. npd is a defensive reaction to trauma that lead to deep insecurity and fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable. so narcissists aren't actually "in love with themselves" at all and often are diagnosed when seeking help for other issues such as substance abuse resulting from their struggles.

this focus a lot of abused women in online pop psychology have on narcissism is particularly concerning because it completely glosses over misogyny which is literally a huge factor in violence against women. people really only know misogyny as a surface level thing. they don't know it can lead to family annihilation, for example, and is one reason most family annihilations are committed by the husband. it's always "this man is a sociopath" "this man is a narcissist" when the man's behavior is driven by ideology. I am so fucking tired of everything being tied to mental illness and left at that. you know what this leads to? courts "fixing" abusive men by...giving them anger management therapy. guess what? it doesn't fucking do anything because the problem isn't mental instability leading to anger, it's targeted, purposeful abuse. we are getting nowhere

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lizardsfromspace · 1 year

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I do have to impress on anyone who wasn't around for it how batshit the reality boom of the 2000s could be. Especially on Fox.

Here are some 100% real 2000s reality shows:

Who's Your Daddy? A woman has to guess which of eight men is her biological father. One of them really is, and if she guesses right she wins $100,000. If one of the seven fake dads convinces her to guess them, he wins $100,000.

Black. White. A white family learns about racism by living a month in blackface, while a black family spends a month in whiteface. The black family was a real family, but the white family was just some actors hired to put on blackface to prove racism exists

Without Prejudice? Five strangers decide which of five strangers gets a cash prize based off clips and their answers to political questions. Cancelled when one of the choosers openly said he'd eliminate all black contestants

Welcome to the Neighborhood. Three conservative white families in a Austin subdivision decide which diverse family gets to move in. Unaired due to being literal housing discrimination

Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay. Two straight men try to pass themselves off as gay and whoever seems more gay gets $50,000. Unaired due to. Due to. Due to

Playing It Straight. A woman tries to find love among fourteen men, half of whom are straight and half of whom are gay, and she must eliminate two men she believes are gay each week. If she ended up picking a straight man in the end, they'd split a million dollars; if she picked a gay man, he'd win a million dollars

Boy Meets Boy. This was Playing It Straight but starring a gay man and he had to eliminate straight people

Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire? He wasn't a multimillionaire. He didn't even have a million dollars in liquid assets. He had a battery conviction Fox claims they didn't see. Because it was the 2000s, somehow this ended up with the woman he won being widely vilified and turned into a national punchline. How dare she complain about a massive corporation tricking her into marrying a lying abuser, good thing Matt Lauer's there to take her down a peg

The Swan. A "ugly" woman is given plastic surgery and wins a prize if she's the hottest at the end of the season. If she's not hot enough by the show's standards she's eliminated and called ugly on national TV

The Biggest Loser. Overweight people engage in competitive crash weight loss that often led to awful health complications. Studies showed basically everyone on the show regained any weight they lost once it was over and they didn't have abusive trainers demanding they take huge health risks to win a competitive weight loss competition. Like the others, this one was cancel-oh, it was a massive hit that ran for 18 seasons? Yikes!

Wife Swap and Trading Spouses. These were the same show and had a wife from one family go to another family that was different politically, racially, culturally, religiously etc. Most famous for the God Warrior

At the time people focused on the likes of Fear Factor but looking back it's wild how many of the worst shows toyed with politics. So many of these shows have a premise that's like "what if we exposed these conservatives to these people they hate?" or hyping themselves up as Important Experiments. Then they'd freak out when they got the kind of viral bigoted freakout they were trying to construct the whole time.

There were also a bunch of horrible reality shows, thankfully this time mostly unpopular, in the 2010s that based themselves around economic themes as a response to the market crash, but that's a story for another time

#television

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husband-steve-cortez · 10 months

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Another important reason for Miles to romance Kaidan is that there is a part of him that feels lowkey threatened by Kaidan's competence.

Kaidan isn't exactly not a highly skilled swiss army knife in me1 but Miles still edges ahead of him noticeably, and it's like less so in me3 and Miles feels like he needs to show Kaidan up for absurd self-esteem reasons.

Not out of any dislike for Kaidan, and there's no real sense of rivalry there, Miles just feels like he has to come across as super good and special and he has to work harder at that with Kaidan on more even ground with him.

(Technically above since he outranks him. He's not like this with any other squadmate in me2, and as good as everyone is no one else really competes with him in 3 to this degree. It's just Kaidan, in part because Kaidan has such a similar skillset, and also largely because Kaidan's newfound confidence and rank and capabilities really sinks in the knife of Miles' lost time. Kaidan doing so well for himself makes him proud, but also makes him feel...pointless. Kaidan's almost like a whole new man (To Miles' rose-tinted POV, that's overstating it a bit), and Miles both missed it and had nothing to do with it.)

Eventually he is forced to learn he's being ridiculous and he and Kaidan stand more side by side, like they kind of did in me1 to be frank. (Liara remains their brittle crowd controller)

(Goes without saying Miles is also massively massively turned on by Kaidan's new persona and grey hairs and how he carries himself and that attempting to reassert his position as the specialist person around is also in part dealing with that. And there's also a level of "Kaidan will not like me anymore/won't like me again if I don't impress him", should've mentioned that earlier it's pretty massive. He feels that way with everyone always but with Kaidan especially. Like it certainly was part of their dynamic in me1, but it's very far from the reason they became close friends.)

#oc: Miles Shepard #he is mentally so all over the place in me3.#mshenko tag #the collector base losses and the Illusive Man's pretty heavy change in MO are also a factor weighing in #he is not as given to showing off as you might think despite all of this but with Kaidan around he feels like he has to push a little harde #and be a little more independent #and that's partly because of losses. He cannot lose anyone else. He has to be better. Has to not rely on anyone.#which is a very very bad mentality for a commanding officer to have. The degree of fear he has in making anyone else do anything.#and like no one else *but* Kaidan is going to see what's happening. Because Kaidan knows him. Which is also another factor.#and even people who recognize it. I think only Liara would. But she wouldn't say anything because what can she say #and she respects shepard too much. Kaidan is going to be like 'what the hell' without reservation.

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lith-myathar · 11 months

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#god DAMN it #how do i turn off my stupid thing that i do where if i can sense that a guy likes me i just #can't help but play into it a bit?? even if i don't like them back that way #i think it's because the chase/crush phase of anything is entertaining and i am easily bored #it feels like a game and that's fun even if it's not serious #the problem is it's so easy to interpret the excitement of having fun as attraction or romantic interest when it actually isn't #and then you have this mess of being tangled up with someone and realizing you don't want them and you're going to have to hurt them #and you don't know why you can't just BE NORMAL ugh #i also think i project this sort of mysterious vulnerable sad girl vibe that makes certain guys want to take care of me #and my entire being physically rejects that even though a part of me does want to be taken care of rather desperately #basically i think im very much one of those women men later describe as having been crazy or screwed up #cause im constantly getting conflicting feedback from my mind and body and as a result i give very mixed signals #ive never tried but im relatively certain i would also do this with women because even though the baseline fear is absent #the general anxiety and dread i have around vulnerability would still be a big factor #anyway i would just really like to be able to like somebody without constantly questioning if it's real and not feeling physically sick 24/#🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#tbh i think part of it is just that as far as my nervous system is concerned #sex is dangerous and so is anyone who might want it from me

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anantaru · 5 months

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— does he like it when you're being clingy?

including wriothesley, neuvillette, kaveh, scaramouche x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff & crack, lots of physical touch, established relationship, kissies, love sick genshin men

— wriothesley

as much as wriothesley shows off his strong demeanor for the outside world to see, he cannot lie to himself when it comes to you— because the duke likes seeing you be clingy with him and search for his vehemence.

to him, there was nothing better than having your arms all padded up around him while you kiss his little worries away— so for all he cares, let the outside world call him bewitched if they must, or caught in an angelic spell for that matter. to wriothesley it didn't sound bad nor did he really give a damn about what a so called nobody would say about his life, alongside the fact that he found it quite amusing whenever they did talk about him.

the duke was exceptionally gentle with you, but sometimes he just wants to be able to see you love him in a whole differing modus other than you simply uttering out the three delicate words— in fact, wriothesley too, cares about you so much that he's trying to keep you around all the time, having you enveloped in his arms like he always daydreams of whenever you were apart from each other— hoping that you'd visit him so he could listen to whatever story you might tell him about.

now, was this a new feeling? well, yes. simply put, it was one he had never experienced before. the man had always been faithful, protective and nurturing in his life, so when love solidified the senses of his body, wriothesley was able to finally share his love with somebody.

what you did not know was that wriothesley was slightly frightened in the early stages of your relationship, to someone like the duke it wasn't particularly a breezy walk in the park to open up to another individual and realize that for the first time in his life, he was able to trust someone undoubtedly without fearing a possible mistreat.

now, he admits his love to you when he felt ready to do so, and when he does spell out the three words that bonded a relationship anew, your lips curl deeper into a passionate smile as he kisses the sides of your mouth.

your company alone was an important determination factor of his mood, and although he doesn't want to trouble you with his work, nor was he really allowed to share important and confidential details, wriothesley was certain that you would always be there to listen to him no matter what crossed his mind.

interesting how his heart has not once melted in his entire life prior to finding his soulmate. that's why in his eyes, there is no truer language than the language of love.

a cruel world that has been so cold go him surely wouldn't give him such wonderful gift?

alas, it did— wriothesley could feel it in his bones whenever you held him close to your chest late at night, his ear shell quietly pressed right above your heart. the silent vibrations place a pure tepidness of passion on his soul when he finds himself gradually softening to it, on all occasions smiling as he falls asleep in your arms.

— neuvillette

in the early stages of your relationship, when you had first placed your lips on neuvillette's, the three letter announcement evaporates from his tongue as fluid as when sunlight enters the raindrops and emerges as rainbows from afar.

and yes, much to his surprise he didn't die because of it, who would've saw that coming? although the iudex wholeheartedly believed that he would suffer from a cardiac arrest due to the vast bursts of anxiety gradually chugging away his confidence.

"can i sit on your lap?" you smile gently, unsure whether his silence is that of enthusiasm or distaste.

neuvillette can hardly register it at first before he presses out a pathetic little yes when his excitement reaches the roof of his head and violently breaks through it, showing you those open and loving eyes that were the golden entry to his soul.

you hear a deep, breathless pant when you sit on him, witnessing how a hefty amount of redness catches up to his face until battering his ears, ultimately coaxing out a shiver from his spine.

don't misunderstand his unusual reactions— but neuvillette couldn't quite fathom that you belonged to him and sought out his body like that, it's always special when you nonchalantly rounded your hands on his face and replenished his energy anew, as if his frame was reborn in its most perfect form solely when he felt your trace.

and so, he cannot get enough of your warmth— no wonder when you remind yourself of the pure emotions that he harbored deeply for you.

instinctively, you rest your body against his chest, a soft glow rounding up your facial features, "ah, can't wait until you're done with this," you huff and point at his office desk being crowded by a bunch of papers as you press a small peck against the tip of his nose, ruffling his hair a little.

"it is rather late, you mustn't stay here," he insists, a barely distinctive curve of his lips turning all the difference in the choice of his tone.

"oh? does that mean you want to get rid of me?" how terribly skilled you were when you soaked your words in viscous sarcasm— so skillful in fact that neuvillette would always fall for it head first, or that's what you thought.

he raises a brow before curving one arm around your waist, leaning you against his chest so you wouldn't be able to move an inch, even if you tried.

"now," he playfully scolds, "you, my love, couldn't be farer from the truth."

"and here i thought you must know me by now?"

"i'm joking with you!" you panic, battering his cheek with little kisses as if he didn't know— but neuvillette sees how happy you were whenever you believed you fooled him.

he cocks an eyebrow at you, his mannerism in a questioning stance.

"apologies, aren't jokes supposed to be humorous?"

you scoff, "hmpf, now you're just mean!"

— kaveh

from an outer perspective, one couldn't possibly figure out who was clingier towards the other person— and even with someone being a close friends of the both of you, it's beyond the bounds of possibility to crown a winner.

you or kaveh? who yearned for the attention of the other more? to answer such difficult question, you should first know of the moniker a certain scribe has given you, in fact, within your friend-group kaveh and you had instantly claimed the title of most insufferable couple.

you might wonder, was that a bad thing? oh well, not at all!

and kaveh doesn't even attempt to conceal the priceless smirk on his face whenever he heard his roommate address the both of you as that— it turned him deeply fulfilled that everyone was able to see how crazy he was about you.

your heart feels full by his comforting arms that each throb rattles across your limbs and muscles, feeling weightless at the welcoming cradle— your love being whole, one touch and a gentle kiss on the lips and you feel on a bed of roses, tucked up in velvet.

"what is it?" kaveh leans at you, raising a brow at the way you peak behind his shoulder. during closer inspection, you catch up on a sneaky little smirk that frames his lips the more you focused on what's behind him, "c'mon baby, tell me," kaveh kisses your cheek.

"i think they're calling us insufferable again." you point behind his shoulder, specifically at a table with three people— one wholly focused on the cards in his hands and remaining unbothered while the others sneakily glanced over to you every now and then, whispering incoherent mumbles into each others ears with their palms covering their lips.

and your words don't achieve anything besides making him all the more amused when he wraps his arms around your waist, it's evident, very much so but kaveh was fond of the situation— perhaps he even prided himself on it, he has the audacity to act surprised though.

he laughs, nudging the tip of his nose against your jaw, "they're probably just talking about a way to beat cyno in tcg."

he continues, "we should leave early," and states firmly, "but i think alhaitham took my keys again."

"how does this always happen?" you note tiresomely before dropping your head onto his shoulder— a little too dramatically so that the scribe picked up on it immediately, revealing a triumphant smirk.

perhaps that is why they say love is such magic, this gift from the universe that was unable to be compared, this sweet addiction that no matter what situation you were in, big or small, if it's the two of you facing it together, it was nothing.

— scaramouche

even if scaramouche doesn't straight out admit it to you, he likes it whenever you were clingy with him— and after a good while of you two being in a relationship, he will more and more show his genuine love of it until he’s practically playing with the thought of begging for more.

in the beginning it starts by how fast his cheeks flame red and his focus dwindling as you hug him. after that particular encounter scaramouche memorizes what you did and decides that this must be a proper way to greet you as well— maybe even give you a little kiss on the cheek if he's feeling like it.

scratch that, what he lacks was the courage to go that far.

but no matter how often you would greet him this way, the action alone send him spiraling, shyly snuggling closer to you, inch by inch, although not risking it to hold eye contact and instead averting his gaze as he attempts to indulge in it nervously— stiff as concrete with both arms frozen on each side of his body when you wrapped your limbs around him.

he leans into your touch and closes his eyes— how warm, it's as if the sun itself would shine down on him and prickle on his skin, you feel so whole, like a home.

your touch, it's difficult to explain besides the fact that it carries such passion, and before scaramouche could register it— what was once scarred long ago expresses gentleness all of a sudden.

although not everything from his past could be forgotten, yet your presence made it bearable.

what was also a crucial task to scaramouche was his recent curiosity in understanding the concept of love and how he fell for it— while he ultimately came to the conclusion that the only way to understand love is to feel it, attempt to embody it, or embrace it in its complete form.

next time, you greet him with a blank look on your face as he applies your method on you first, slightly catching you off guard as he welcomes you home almost wordlessly, taking your hand in his cold one when he pulls you into a hug— it is a silent engage and the way he practically dragged you into him made your forehead smack his shoulder.

thankfully scaramouche doesn't have to speak in order for you to understand what he was trying to signalize here.

what's following next would be considered even sillier than him blatantly copying you, but when the two of you walk alongside each other through the hustling streets of sumeru city, you flinch a little at a strong grab on your hand ambushing you, "hey, nope— hold on, stop walking and give me your hand dammit," scaramouche scoffs as he chases after it, when with a quick motion, he traps it finally and tangles his digits around your own.

"there's no fun if i make it easy," you wink, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his jaw, "i like the faces you make when you're mad, you know? your expressions are so cute."

"don't you realize you're wasting time like that?" scaramouche clicks his tongue before squeezing your hand in his grasp, letting out an audible hmph before turning his head towards the street.

"honestly? that's fine by me," you coo softly, smothering him with the attention he craves as more of your fingers dig into the soft flesh of his palm.

"as long as you still love me, of course."

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