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hailsatanacab · 6 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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thedreadvampy · 1 year

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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

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chiptrillino · 2 years

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By any chance do you have a larger photo of those Yue designs? I'm absolutely digging them

uhm... sadly i didn't at the time you asked me. but i do have now! so sorry for the longer wait;;;

the one i posted were really tiny and i was working anyway on these. it just took me a bit to get it done :D uhm... so here me playing dressup... with yue... again... sorry yue...

if i have to explain mayself... my thought process is basically... yue is the moon. so her dress is either the moon or the enviorment around or below her. and.... you know... fish... -tries not to feel my ex profs glaring at me like "elaborate more dang it"-

also! all these option but if someone tells me to draw yue again i would still give her... a new outfit or just idk... because i can't pick!!!!

#chip!ask #chip!art #atla #yue #in uni i would have to like... go through my whole thinking process.#why did you do this why di you do that?#and i mean... i could reply and go into deatail about my thoght process but...#i am getting shy...#and selfconcious #and i just realized i forgot to click the boots of in that one translucent dress but i kinda like it like this???#the boots are a vibe there not gona lie!#whaaa #-coughs and hides-#also my brain: red version for lunar esclips???#(also you just asked over moon yue outfits... don't ask me about the others i am not done ...#don't ask me about other outfits... at this point i think it would be best to just offer you guys a picrew and let you go wild with it #DESIGN YOU OWN YUE! pick a hair pick the jewlery #everything couts! i think...#ah #if i am alowed to be biased and pick favourites! i pick the translusent ones...#its just a vibe!#a friend told me that it looks like elsa and i am feeling some negative kind of feel here...

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andorerso · 11 days

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Rogue One + completely accurate character descriptions [x]

for @rifle-yes, I hope this is what you had in mind! 💜

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cozylittleartblog · 11 months

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a little Postlet. . because i Miss them

#deltarune #queen #rouxls kaard #lancer #art #doodles #comic #rouxls is a leetol different. for fun :) idk i drew him like that and i didn't hate it #Twelve Percent More On Model Than Usual #i have lil bits of dialogue scrawled down everywhere and i found that second one i thought it was funny #i have so many drawings and doodles and entire posts that ive started. that i just don't finish for so me reason #no energy. why do i have the energy to start them and go 'omg this is gonna be IT ill TOTALLY FINISH THIS'#and then i don't lol. why don't i just finish something instead of starting something else #its da adhd babey!!!!#anyway thats why this post is small #normally i sit and over-analyze things before i post them. are all the layers on. did i forget anything. does anything is badly drawn. etc #i'm not doing that. i am scheduling this for atime when i am asleep and it will be posted by the time i wake up #and whatever is in the art is what is posted. it is what it is.

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maegalkarven · 7 months

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We know what it wasn't a big secret to the cult of Bhaal what their Chosen (Durge) is a lil (a lot) obsessed with the Chosen of Bane.

Orin def told everyone who would listen about it, as Balthazar's note on "Prayer for Forgiveness" might imply.

But have we thought about the other side of this?

How many of Bane's servants present at Gortash's coronation saw Durge and went "Ugh, not them again. ANYONE but them. Dark Lord Bane, we serve you well and do not deserve this".

How many of banites had to watch their Chosen act like a lovesick fool at his own coronation and tried very hard not to cringe?

Like bhaalists were not pleased with their Chosen's affections, but I bet Gortash was INSUFFERABLE with Durge by his side.

#dark urge #dark urge x gortash #enver gortash #bg3 spoilers #random banist: didn't they die. i heard they died #other banist: ugh i hoped they did. unfortunately they're back. now our lord gortash is going to be insufferable #a new banist: what...is he doing? why is he looking at this stranger like that?#an experienced banist: my dear naive child. you're about to expirience the horrors what are being around when lord gortash loses his mind #over some murder hobo at that #young banist: I've never seen him make such an expression before #older banist: and i hoped i never would have again. who's guarding lord's personal chambers tonight?#older banist: because it definetely won't be me #nwm baneit sounds much better than banist but I'm not retyping all these tags

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sysig · 3 months

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Those wacky skeletons ♥ (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Sans #Papyrus #Handplates #You can tell because of Sans' gloves lol #Getting-used-to-them-again doodles as well as just expressing Feeling <3 Happy towards them! Want them to be happy too!#It might seem silly for these - how many sets in now? - to still be getting used to drawing them again lol but it's because they're adults!#Their clothes and the way they hold themselves - but also especially Sans lol I dunno why I have such difficulty with him at times #He's got a cute face and I still find myself like ????how your face #Other than that tho it's just silliness hehe ♪ My favourite lads :D #I feel the need to make the distinction: I do actually have different favourites based on the AU lol #Like for example in classic I still love Flowey just a tiiiiiny bit more than Papyrus but it really is constantly neck and neck #Whereas in Handplates it's no competition even a little bit lol - Papyrus is just my Very Favourite #But Gaster is my favourite Handplates-specific character since he's unique to the AU! It gets a bit in the weeds lol #Sans isn't far behind at all of course the trio are very important! The duo even moreso imo #Going back to gloves tho I did carry over one of my quirks from my original UT doodles about Papyrus' gloves lol #I initially envisioned them as combination mitten-gloves with a free index finger and all the rest together #I still rather like the design! But it is admittedly not Handplates accurate lol #The occasional dip into self-indulgence who me? Lol #Sleeping on each other is important to me as well!! It is such a favourite hehe #Honestly I just imagined Papyrus getting so exhausted that he fell asleep in the snow lol poor lad #Sans teleported in but it's also funny to imagine him just walking up like ''you good? yeah he's fine'' *flop* haha #Silly lads <3 Do love 'em ♪

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months

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Wei Wuxian eats a watermelon. Yep!

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #nothing out of the ordinary here. Just good fandom fun #Watermelon discourse has been going on and I want to let people know where I stand.#This came about because I wanted to experiment with translating the (traditional) PD-MDZS style to a digital format #and while sitting there thinking of what to draw...my inspiration came to me.#This is the equivalent of sneaking vegetables into the spaghetti sauce but its important to get your gotdamn veggies #I'm not very good at organizing my thoughts (evidence: the tags of every post on this blog).#but please do not look away from this moment in history. One person cannot solve it and no one expects you to.#Even if it is just spending time doing some research on the situation and history. Or boosting posts that are more articulate #Any action helps! ANY action! Everyone has a different level of capacity for this and that's okay. Anything is fine. Dont let it be nothing #Anyhow. did I like doing this digitally? Yes but its mixed. It was faster but also spark the same joy I usually get while drawing #I will have to get over it very quickly though. You will all see why in a few days

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phddyke · 10 months

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OH? OHOHOHO

#I WAS HOPING THE SOAP OPERA WOULD BE A RUNNING GAG #helluva boss #queen bee #ozzie’s #stolas #blitzø #stolitz #no but tell me why i was #literally telling my fiancé and brother #that if stolas does get a boyfriend like viv implied #i want there to be a scene where like #blitzø is watching hell-a novela #and alejandro is like ‘what do you mean you’ve gifted your heart to another gabriella?!’#and she’s like ‘how long did you expect me to wait for you alejandro?’#with her hand like over her head all dramatic #and blitzø yells ‘YOU SHOULVE TOLD HER YOU LOVED HER WHILE YOU HAD THE CHANCE DIPSHIT’#and throws something at the tv #and loona is standing in the background looking maybe concerned maybe exasperated

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expelliarmus · 2 years

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#mine #doctor who #dwedit #david tennant #dw spoilers #a selection of whats for you all #ok but the important question is why did the clothes change too????#AND WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT OVER A YEAR FOR MORE DW.......#anywayssss this takes me back #when did i last make a WOT gifset???#probably over 10 years ago at this point lmao

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queenlucythevaliant · 6 months

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Okay but I do get really tired when people rag on Narnia's Biblical parallels for being too overt. Like, yeah dude. It's written for kids. Most kids don't do subtlety. I knew my Bible better than probably 95% of third graders, and yet my parents still had to clue me in. I've talked to people who grew up secular and didn't realize Narnia was Christian until well into adulthood. The Christian parallels in Narnia are at a pretty perfect level for most kids, and the fact that we as adults continue to get new spiritual meaning from it as we grow is a real testament to the depth of Jack's writing.

#mostly i just get sick of narnia being compared unfavourably to lotr #they are written for two different audiences with different purposes and different ingredients and they are both good!#like yeah okay tolkien disliked allegory. (a) narnia isn't exactly allegory and (b) even if it were would that be so bad?#Jack's over here doing his own thing. i for one love how overt Narnia's Biblical parallels are #okay rant over #why did i ever think it was a good idea to talk narnia on the internet. i am way too defensive and possessive of it #pontifications and creations #narnia

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krazieka2 · 7 months

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Comic done for the Hapi zine on twitter! I'm not sure if tumblr likes links so ummm look up Hapi Zine on bigcartel, leftover sales are still going. Check out the merch there's some cute stuff there!