#something took over me idk

[canneddolts]

yesterday twas my mission to completely memorize the (mark 4) hev suit

#something took over me idk #ive been incredibly art blocked lately #its not completely accurate but yk.. #my stuff #half life #hl1 #gordon freeman #halflife #half-life #also sims 1 music is so good…… #one part of one of the songs is used again in the later games as a sound effect #if i remember right #and it jumpscared me so bad #YEAG WHEN YOU COMPLETE A WANT IN TS2 ITS 26 SECONDS INTO NEIGHBORHOOD 3 #i should show u guys my sims2 black mesa dorms omggghghg #ok Bye #also this made me realize i always put the circle (flashlight??) on the left instead #why did i do that???? idk #maybe some mirrored promotional art Idk

[helielune]

people come and people go, but i stay (ghostride)

#infinity train #rymin #happy (slightly early) vday yalls #took me like over 2 hrs (to be fair. it was mostly trying to figure out how the app worked) #my art #trying out this cool new idea called every time i start looping a song ad nauseam i draw something for it #'trying out' actually its just happening to me outside of my control #ok just cus it's a rymin animation i'm gonna say as an aside i did not forget the wicked animatic exists #there are just some circumstances that make working on it slightly inconvenient #(new animation club that my friends founded that i'm not a part of but they kinda use the art rooms during all my free time) #(so i don't want to intrude. with my masterpiece of an animatic wip yknow) #(so im thinking either i get a job and buy my own software subscription to finish it or i sneak in during some rare off hrs) #yeah thats the update i might upload an actual video wip sometime tho idk #animation

[7000f1]

Hampter🐹

#trigun #trigun stampede #tristamp #vash the stampede #vash #this started as a dood and something took over me #toffee returning to art era? maybe. doubt. idk #7000f1 draws

[lit-in-thy-heart]

been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.

#making a little joke but also being genuinely serious #with my merwaincelot wip i've embraced having little overviews in brackets for what i want to happen #but idk how to write it just yet #if i'm feeling stuck or bored #and if i'm getting tired or the idea of writing an ending is getting overwhelming then i just call it a day and do something else #and yeah it's taking longer to write things (perhaps gone are the days when i wrote and posted a fic in the same night) #but it's working wonders with my brain #and it's amazing how as soon as i relax i get hit with several new ideas #just trying to adjust my thinking in that projects over a long period of time are not something to worry about #like i'm also planning a knitting project that i'll be doing well into september #(mainly bc yarn is expensive and my needs are hella specific) #but that's okay! #not everything has to be done and dusted immediately! #i'm glad i took a break from writing and i think it did do me good but damn i'm happy to be back #and enjoy still learning how to get even more out of my hobby #but anyway i'm just feeling a lil proud of myself today so #lit talks #personal

[babisawyer]

Jackie realizing she’s gonna have to take care of shauna and jeff’s ghost baby

#🐇 #yellowjackets #truly it’s so interesting to me how much better this season is than the first that literally never happens for me #the current timeline is finally getting interesting. Jeff is still the best part #love how fast misty took to being a cult that is so her™️ #Jackie liking poppies is interesting to me both in the Jackie is gay camp and also you know the whole thing with wizard oz and her death #the ending was so fucking depressing I need a nap now #like I’m so happy they didn’t eat the baby that would have been so incredibly cheap but glad to finally have answers #like do we think shauna was dreaming or had she temporarily crossed over because like where was Jackie and the French dude #I’d say it would make sense that Lottie could be there somehow #idk it reminded me a lot of Jackie’s death of course so I have many questions #I will say the cop story line is pretty stupid like no fucking way is any of this legal and also let’s kill that creep cop shauna #I will help you girl I will drive the get away car #I was also like wondering awhile ago if Lottie’a camp is near where the plane crash was #and my best friend and I were like no there’s no way and then they tell us it’s in New York so like possibly close to the boarder? #I tried looking up cherry hill but I couldn’t find anything idk it’s probably totally unlikely and they just also happen to be in the woods #I didn’t get a preview for next week is there a preview? idk #my complaint this week is where is Jackie lmfao where is her ghost why wasn’t she in sex ed give me something I’m not ready to move on!!!!

[bnesszai]

"what do you think i've been doing this for?" forrrr skk, any verse

"What do you think I've been doing this for?"

Chuuya narrows his eyes. Dazai Osamu is an enigma. Trying to figure him out is akin to driving yourself into madness. He's a despicable person and death hangs from his hands like puppets on a string.

And yet--

And yet Chuuya wishes he knew the answer to his question. Clicking his tongue, Chuuya looks off to the side. "Clearly not for yourself."

"Clearly," the voice is amused. It scraps against Chuuya's skin like a scalpel. "Not for you, either."

Chuuya feels his nails bite into his own skin, despite the gloves, despite his shirt. He clenches his teeth. "Clearly."

"Care to take a guess?"

In the corner of his eye, he can just make out Dazai's face. A smile, subtle grin, eye a twisted void of despair. Pleasantly blank. He thinks of those same lips twisted, teeth baring down at Chuuya before biting into his neck. He thinks of bruising fingers scorching into his skin. He thinks of the way Dazai whispered prayers that he probably thought Chuuya couldn't hear, face pressed into sheets.

Chuuya thinks of the violence of Dazai's affections.

"Something selfish," he says.

After a moment of stillness, Dazai stands. He walks over, silent as a phantom, and places a finger under Chuuya's jaw. Chuuya despises the way it makes a shiver run down his spine.

"Perhaps not selfish enough," Dazai says. Almost, Chuuya can make out a distinct longing radiating from Dazai, but there is something that overrides it. Every single time Dazai seems close to admitting something, to doing something he clearly wants, there is a reason that takes over and pushes it all away.

Pushes Chuuya away.

"I've done it all for love," Dazai breathes across Chuuya's face.

Chuuya wants to call bullshit but the one eye he can see gleams somewhere far, far down in its depths.

"Just not the kind you're thinking of right now." Dazai drops his hand, trailing it down Chuuya's arm, before he turns on his heel and walks away. "A happy ending for me was never going to end well. Your own fate is an unfortunate consequence of that."

Chuuya keeps his gaze steady, but his mind is racing. Something in his ribs crack.

"There never is anything good written for you, I'm afraid."

#once again this took over and did not go as planned #but there ya have it #sol 💫 #angst war 🔪 #bsd beast #ness writes #:)) #skk #idk something about the idea of beastzai being almost honest with chuuya right before the end tears me apart

[skyward-floored]

I finally completed the Anju and Kafei quest 😭

#spoilers in tags no peeking if you don't want spoilers #rambles from the floor #majora's mask #peggy plays majora's mask #Peggy plays #anyways hhhwwwwwaaauugghghgh #took me forever to remember how to do the parts I'd already done I remembered only pieces #but i finally got to the last bit #I didn't know where Kafei was #I'd looked all over #but I found Anju #and she said she was going to wait for him #so I sat next to her and waited #because I didn't want her to be alone while the world was ending #and right as I was wondering if I should go look for Kafei again and running through what to try in the next cycle THE DOOR CLICKS #AND KAFEI WALKS IN #AND THEY HUG AND THEY DO THE THING AND THE MASK😭 #and I hold off on crying because my siblings were watching but it was a very near thing #and I probably shouldn't be playing this game while I'm already sad/not doing great but #oh well #sniffle. #and anyway there's something weirdly comforting about mm #like it's dark and painful and terrifying #but it's cathartic #and I like that #idk

[surrealsunset]

the sun always shines on TV

#hello charlotte #vent art #charlotte wiltshire #q84 #charlotte q84 #basically. this song is like. a microcosm of. what hello charlotte is to me #the music video especially gets the point across really well #it’s like i just don’t fucking know what’s real or not #i love so blindly with no direction but i do love and that’s what confuses and scares me #i have these…. masks. that’s all this is is masks. masking. performance #it is real. but it is also fake. and it’s so hard. it’s so fucking hard wearing a mask all the time #because i can’t take it off. i can’t. that’s why i love q84 so profoundly #the mask took over her fucking life. she has no idea who she is anymore #she was never someone who hurt people and now she is and she is FUUUCKED UP about it #but she’s too isolated and alone and unwilling to listen and proud to stop the hurt or the doomspiral or any of it #i feel like that. this gets at a profound generational scream of agony i feel from everyone around me #we’re just scared. we’re all scared. we are all mourning the loss of our sanity and begging for answers and nothing is working #something. idk #i’ve been thinking about this a lot clearly gkshf #it’s just… i just. i want a hug. i just want to hug a lot. that’s all. i think all we fucking want is a fucking hug. for god’s sKe

[asurrogateblog]

Cannibals, Pirates, and PhDs: How Did I Get Here?

I mentioned in some tags earlier that I’ve only actually been a real fan of Pink Floyd for under a year, and that the confluence of events that led up to it is pretty absurd. Some interest seemed to be taken in this, so I though I’d elaborate.

I didn’t know how to shorten this timeline and have it make any sense, so it’s... long. But idk, I think it’s pretty funny. If you’re nosy like I am this is for you.

My Backstory Timeline:

early childhood: my parents essentially mainline me and my little sister with The Beatles. I know almost no songs written past the 70’s until at least sixth grade. I develop a childhood crush on Paul McCartney, a joke that the universe really decides to play the long game on.

2014: my dad calls me over one night, and gravely tells me he’s been waiting to share something until I’m old enough. I brace myself to be told about sex or secret half-siblings. Instead, he tells me I need to listen to The Wall. Irritated at the idea of wasting an hour and half of my night, I nevertheless comply and go up to my room and put it on. I do not come back from this, clearly having inherited some sort of generational curse.

Around the same time, I am also secretly watching Hannibal every time my parents send me upstairs because Game of Thrones is “too gory”. This will trigger three important things: an interest in psychology, a love of horror media, and a classical music phase will train my attention span to last well past the three minute mark.

2014-2023: Over the intervening years, I become a casual fan of Pink Floyd, but make a deliberate point not to learn anything about the band. I like being able to imagine my own meanings for the songs. Also, I am motivated against this by a childhood memory of being deeply frightening by a picture of old Paul McCartney (LOL). I do not want that to ever happen again, so no learning.

Cut to April of 2023: I am finishing up my first year of my PhD program studying media psychology. I am in a bad place mentally, and am going through another horror movie phase to fill the hole. As a result, I get very into American Psycho. The main character, Patrick Bateman, is a fan of superficial 80’s pop music, particularly Genesis. I decide to start listening to Genesis to see if I agree with his tastes. While researching “best Genesis albums”, I come across The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I listen to it, and am blown away. I had no idea that the Phil Collins band made music like that. This sends me down the prog-rock rabbit hole. I still won't learn any lore.

Summer of 2023: MEANWHILE, I am also going through another pirate phase. I have a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of 18th century piracy (and am still quite active in the Black Sails fan community). Around this time, I get really obsessed with this one random guy named Dennis McCarthy who was hanged in 1718.

I decide to work poor Dennis into a science fiction story I’ve been working on. The premise is essentially that the universe is an abandoned simulation, and a ‘glitch in the matrix’ starts to, among other things, bring people from the wrong time periods back to life. The format of the story is vaguely monster-of-the-week, in which the characters have to solve various problems caused by mistakes in the code. I think, “hey, you know what would be perfect for this? that fanfic I wrote about The Wall in high school.” Said fic (which that stupid fucking beatles movie stole from me) is about a world in which Pink Floyd never existed, but a wannabe rock-star discovers a box full of their records and decides to copy them. While he is touring his plagiarized version of The Wall, he realizes that the events of the album are starting to happen to him in real life. By working this concept into my new story, I go through another one of my periodical The Wall phases. It's in full swing when fall rolls around.

September of 2023: This semester, I take a grad-level narrative theory class in the English department. I decide it would be helpful to follow along with a specific example, so I choose The Wall. Using the terminology I am learning in the class, I start to realize that The Wall is…. incredibly narratologically fucked up. To help orient me, I watch the bootleg concert recordings, and the trick with the surrogate band sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore.

This is where the two plot-lines converge. I don’t remember which came first, but around this same time, I think to myself “hey, if Genesis was hiding such an incredible album under the 80’s pop, what must Pink Floyd be hiding?” On that whim, I put on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which equally sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore. I needed to know what the fuck happened to get them from Piper to The Wall.

September-November: In the two months between the onset of this and finally making another sideblog, I dedicate all of my free time to learning as much about Pink Floyd as humanely possible (and writing a 20 page essay for that narrative theory class). As you can imagine, this is a lot to unpack all at once for someone who didn’t even know who Roger or Syd or any of the rest of them were. Luckily, I am over-educated enough to be a very fast learner. Aside from the band lore itself, I of course also fall in love with the rest of Pink Floyd's discography musically-speaking. Having this interest to latch onto genuinely pulls me out of my depression.

Cut to February 2024: I am really enjoying myself, and want to keep this going as long as possible, but I am starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel on Pink Floyd lore. I decide I need to feed the fire by supplementing with lore from another band. The Beatles seem to have a strong fan presence on tumblr, why not revisit a childhood favorite? The universe laughs at my expense.

That about brings us up to date. I have gone through so much character development over the last eight months, it’s crazy. Pink Floyd is definitely one of those things that is less of a “phase” and more of a permanent part of my mindscape. Weirdly enough, since I am studying media psychology, all of this has also been really good for my career? I never took an interest in -real- media figures (as opposed to fictional characters) before, and I feel like I have a much clearer sense of things now. It's definitely influenced my research, so whatever domino effect this has on my future is bound to get even funnier.

Anyway, that’s my backstory!

#it’s interesting re-examining how my relationship to The Wall has changed over time. #strange how you can love something as a kid but not really personally relate to it. and then you grow up and suddenly you’re like... #...oh shit. there -must- have been a door there when I came in #// #that makes it sound less fun than its been tho #god. i've had so much fun. im actually glad i took so long to get into band lore so I could learn all this -now- #i had kind of worked myself into a (very silly) mental spiral of 'what if I've run out of new things to discover' #and it's been so. idk... healing for me to realize all of this has been here the whole time #(clenching my teeth: ....emotional vulnerability....)

[pbnmj]

Ur tags about how Miles and Pavitr are the ones who say "I can do both" because it IS quintessential spiderman thinking AND because they're too young to have seen that devastatingly not work yet. BUT the thing is they are RIGHT but only if it's "we"! Spiderman's mythos is inherently a lonely one reinforced by Miles and Gwen's isolation and by every. single. intro. reminding us that every spider person is the "one and only spider person"! And yet!! These films are just about relationships (1/2)

YES YEAH YOU GET IT !!!! and (quite recently rewatched it and mentioning it here cause i can't believe i forgot to mention it in the post you're talking about) it really gets me that gwen also says 'i was doing both' in regards to protecting miles and protecting the canon event, and i love that the phrase was reflected like that, even tho (at this point of the movie) miles and gwen pretty much oppose each other in views/priority !!

it also absolutely kills me the way that gwen begins (like you say) atsv quitting the band and isolates herself, and then throughout the whole thing she finds something/someone that she wants to take that leap for, all over again :') she (and the entire spider-team!!) is willing to bet everything on miles and is ready to fight for him, and i really just love the idea that miles just is a force that inspires good !!!! IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT LOVE!!!

#and . i dont think she would have done this without reconciling with her dad and that entire speech. #i do think that acceptance and love meant everything to her when she was at her lowest and it pushes her to do more + #AND it shows her canon events arent necessarily end alls. and it reflects in how she tells miles parents how much he loves them #just feel like. gwen now believes that love he has couldnt ever be bad. and it shouldn't have to make the world end... #and she believes it wont. AUGH #also been thinking that it's such a fun way to reflect that 'parker luck' #where yknow . where peter just cannot balance his two identities #and usually a spider-man success means something in his personal life goes badly #and idk i love when things are acknowledged to be like. the RESULT of being spider-man . #its fun to me. perhaps i am analysing media wrong. but tragedy magnet spider-man is so fucking depressing on many levels #and that opens up barbie dreamhouse levels of fun to me #generally superheroes creating their own enemies on accident . like ssm's venom was a goldmine to me i enjoyed that interpretation so much #i dont think miguel was right tho . fate of the multiverse/anomaly/etc I DONT CARE OLD MAN. UR OPINION WAS OVER WHEN U STARTED BEEF W MILES #and so sorry this took forever to reply to omg i adored reading this meta !!!!! #answered #disinherits #long post #sorry everyone the floor was open for my deranged takes again

[torrikor]

mid-afternoon naptime <3

#it be my art #dnd #aasimar #tiefling #i've come to realise that in giving elias a boyfriend post-campaign i've accidentally created The Only Man Ever #he's 7ft tall. he adopted two baby owls that got orphaned. HE'S adopted. he almost shot elias once. he's the most soft-spoken man ever. #he's my prettiest princess i love kaimos so much. babygirlifies this giant giant man with my gay little drawings #this took me a literal month to finally finish & even now i'm not sure i'm completely happy with it 😭 feels like something's missing idk #soft boys... baby boys. they deserve that nap. rest now lil guys the hard part is over <3

[licantropa]

Happy Holidays!!

#Mianite #I’d like to apologize for the tag essay you don’t gotta read all that idk what happened #you know its interesting how red has called jordan ‘skipper Sparklez’ implying that he places them on the same level #especially since both of them have messed with capsize’s ship. but jordan places himself on the same level as capsize #because theyre both captains (which stops being true since capsize demotes him to boatswain) #and capsize makes Tom a captain meaning she places him on the same level as herself (Tom is a captain because he owns a ship btw) #(which btw is why capsize was like ‘you’re leaving my crew?’ to Jordan when he got the ss jerry but technically since he says the ship is #‘for capsize’s fleet’ it belongs to her) #I think the issue with Jordan and Capsize is that he doesn’t actually like her as an individual but as an idea #that idea being ‘having a teammate’ because it’s just been him up until that point. #arguably jordan doesn’t really care about capsizes feelings on things examples of this are #her saying no to getting married but he like ignores that and continues on with the idea that they’re together/ going to get married. #him throwing gold at her and assuming that was all it took to get a date out of her instead of asking (like everyone’s given her gold he #ain’t special) and the ss jerry which was made to impressive her but it’s in a color he likes and also he named it #also him stepping over capsizes boundaries and kissing her #me personally I will not write them having a positive relationship because Jordan’s ruined it for himself truly #I think we as a society need to put more blame on Jordan when it comes to capsizes death by the way #like while he wasn’t the only one in the room BUT he was the only one capable #Tucker was stuck in a hole Tom was being a bitch in the background Red was paralyzed in fear #and when Capsize gets threatened you know what he says? ‘Skipper you gonna do something’ (something along those lines anyways I don’t fully #remember) like he let Furia fucking villain monologue are you serious??? #also it’s way more interesting that they don’t get along #or maybe i just like issues idk #feel free to disagree ofc

[tianhai03]

“not bad.”

#been rewatching the anime again for like the 12th or 13th time i dont remember anymore #and some scenes. got me. yknow which ones im talking about. so something took over me for two hours and drew this #it's now 2am. idk what happened. so just take it lmaoo #devil may cry #dante(dmc) #cw // blood #allyart

[thatoneluckybee]

I went to English class after answering asks about MPREG all morning and then accidentally started my argumentative essay for a major grade about mpreg and why I shouldn’t write it.

Luckily I caught the slip-up but I still feel like it’s very important that at least you know this. (And then by process of spreading hopefully Kiri and Chaos and Static will and NONE OF the NORMAL PEOPLE finding my blog from MPREG)

......That. Sure is a mistake to make. Wow. Thank you for saving your teacher's sanity

#Okay but doing silly h to info for grades is actually fun #One time I got bored with a project for school #And I got permission #That if I could make it educational #I was allowed to skip the slideshow and do vines and other silly internet clips with text edited over #Lost the clip and don't even remember what the project was on but it was WORTH IT #took me hours and I would've probably been done quicker with the slideshow but it's for the bit #Find the dumbest way to do something and do it well so technically they can't take points off #STUPID LOOPHOLES!!!! #Theoretically you could do like. A major grade thing with the weird fic saga. #Asks #quintessential-candles #Like idk. Something about reversal of gender roles #How realism is less important than plot or concept in a narrative OR THE OPPOSITE if you wanna bash it #You could find something probably