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#why am I even saying this. whatever. I hate posting my art but I like this and its my pfp so!! fuck it!!
bluravenite · 11 months
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I know this probably wasn't intended badly or as a critique but
Do not comment on the way i draw Ghoul's bodies.
They're my personal headcanons and I don't care if you don't think a swimmer and touring musician would have a muscular build.
You don't like it? Draw them yourself.
I have designed these ghouls with my own personal headcanons and considerations of their back stories and real life inspirations.
I do not want to see tags in my art saying "he's too soft :(" "they're so buff :(" "why is she hour glass shaped?"
Especially when it's someone like cumulus who i have drawn several times before out of uniform and she is clearly not naturally "hour glass shaped" but ffs SHAPE WEAR EXISTS, especially if it's a uniform you wear to perform?!! She's gonna wanna have back and bust support!!! I have publicly headcanoned that ghouls wear corsetry for support!! I'm not just drawing her skinnier i am just considering other fucking variables!!!
Why are rain, swiss and mountain more physically built??? Because rain is a swimmer and i have used references of Olympic medalist swimmers to use as reference for how i wanted to draw him as well as looked at surfer body types, most of which were skinnier but toned!!! So that's why?? Mountain bc he's in the fucking garden doing sowing and planting work and playing the fucking drums, that's some fucking heavy ass equipment he's helping the band move and he does it seamlessly!!! Swiss also??? He's a multi, he's tall too, he's gotta be strong to help with everything they need, plus you think that he's gonna be bending ghouls over if he were so skinny??? Probably not!!
Another petty one. Consider more variables?? Aka working out releases lactic acid, and the surge of fluids causes your muscle cells to swell up, especially if you're drinking something like a protein drink without a carb/fat filled breakfast.
Do you think a DEMONIC HUMANOID CREATURE, that wakes up at dawn to have a protein shake AND GO SWIMMING AND SURFING is not??? Gonna look??? Buff????
Like??? Sorry if this rant sounds petty but I'm genuinely tired of dealing with people commenting on my own personal original designs.
I have never claimed to be drawing the people on stage. I am drawing MY OWN CHARACTERS, based on the real thing.
Don't just comment on people's characters or art if it's not something they can fix within 3 strokes of their pen.
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literatisongs · 1 year
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a crooked pretty boy
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weaselishmcdiesel · 1 year
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RRAR
#guess whos unlucky ass got classes with the single person from this semester who i didnt like. again. for next semester#not a bad person. not a bad person no not at all. in fact they are very kind and friendly and inclusive.#i. do not like being included. in fact i like when people respect that i like being left alone. i love when people respect that#THIS ONE DOES NOT RESPECT THAT#remember that post i made? about how being a fujoshi is a bad thing? i made that post. because this person. used that term. at me.#i am. a gay PERON. yes i STILL LOOK VERY FEMALE YES I GET THAT NO I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY IM NOT A FUJOSHI OR EVEN A WOMAN#nearly every time this person interacts with me (none of them initiated by yours truly) something fucking uncomfortable happens.#and i know. i know in my heart of hearts. that theyre trying their best. but i get so tired of overly nice people i know thats my own issue#another thing i hate is fake compliments. i really hate them. i never give shallow compliments to peoples work like a LOOKS GOOD not even#i ALWAYS take the time to consume the work and think about it before i give MEANINGFUL compliments. always#many MANY TIMES this person has like passed by my computer or whatever and WITHIN SECONDS said ‟woah that looks really good!‟#wh. n. you#you looked at it for nary a minute. id rather you said nothing at all#again. i KNOW im being dramatic you should know that i know this. i know theyre being polite and im being a baby#but. another. fucking semester. with this person#i really fucking cant#i was looking forward to the next semester because there would be new people since i didnt vibe with my class from this semester#lo and FUCKING behold. the worst person from this semester is going to be my classmate AGAIN#fuck fuck fuck i am so whiny i know i know i know i am. but FUCK dude college is stressful enough.#(... it helps that their art... doesnt look good aksjdhf but you didnt hear me say that)#weasel speaks#asks!
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moon7jay · 4 months
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Can u make a jake or( whatever member u want)make up sex ? If not it's okay! 💗🐣
Ofc I can bb 🫶actually was already working on a hurt comfort fic before you requested it
love on you (s.jy)
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Idol!jake x artist!reader
Warnings : angst ,hurt-comfort, smut, fluff, reader is insecure
Wc : 4.5k
"Man you didn't tell us y/n won an award wtf" jay's words sounded like static to jake's ears
"What? " He questioned through his hoarse voice, his head throbbing because of the constant state of moving his body had been in for the past few days. He doesn't remember when he last slept for more than 4 hours
"She just posted it on her story, check it out if you even care bro" jay scoffed and left the room, his voice condescending and accusing.
jake's brows furrowed while he automatically reached for his phone
"What do you mean if I even care? " he muttered to himself, feeling anger rise up in his chest at jay's tone.
His thumb swiped at your profile and clicked on your story, all anger leaving his body when he saw your figure holding the golden trophy while standing in front of the mirror, your face hidden from the flashlight of your phone.
His heart sank to his stomach and dread filled up his chest when he realised the gravity of the situation
"fuck" He muttered and rubbed his temples, heart running a mile per minute. What had he done.
He quickly clicked on his notifs and saw a couple of messages from you dated yesterday
"Shit baby I'm so sorry" he muttered, the throbbing in his chest reaching fever pitch, an ugly feeling rearing it's head in his chest when he finally read your messages
[Mine🤍]
[5:40 pm] I'm wearing the blue dress that you love so much tonight :), tell me how I look
[5:40 pm] (photo attachment)
jake clicked on the picture and he wanted to cry. You looked like a fucking goddess. God you were beautiful, you were so beautiful he was questioning how you were real.... how you were his
[6:30 pm] I'm feeling nervous, can't wait for you to be here, I just need to hold your hand for a bit, only for a bit I promise :(
[7:21 pm] you aren't coming are you
[3:30 am] (audio message)
jake's heart felt like it was tearing apart in two, he had fucked up so bad and he didn't think there was anything he could do to make this right.
There were missed calls from you after that last message and finally an audio message that sat staring at jake ominously
He rubbed his palm over his face and finally pressed play with trembling fingers
"Hi babyy i miss you- you slurred, your voice was shaky and he could tell that you were drunk when you recorded this message ,intoxication dripped from your tone
"Where even are you? Busy? Did you at least eat today baby?" he didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve your concern or love, he didn't fucking deserve you
"I hope you did- there was a pause - I haven't eaten- your voice sounded solemn all of a sudden, as if you were deep in your thoughts now, ur voice was hoarse like you had been crying
"Don't feel like eating ...... I waited for you- a sharp inhale, shit, you were crying. jake felt his own eyes dampen at hearing your first sniffle, he hated when you cried. He hated that he was the reason why.
"I feel stupid now" You whispered and then laughed condescendingly
"I mean, it's not like it was an important award anyway... just a stupid art exhibition. It's not like my art is that good anyway, I'm honestly questioning if they gave me that award cuz they needed a female in the merit list"
Wrong. You were amazing. And if anyone deserved that award it was you.
But jake didn't remember the last time he had told you that.
another sniffle
"You have more important stuff to do and i get that. And i told myself I won't cry today but here I am- you giggled through your sobs- I look so stupid right now, I bet I sound even more stupid everytime I annoy you with my stupid fucking feelings"
No you don't, he loves you, you are his everything, he wanted to say
"But I'm trying to change i promise.... I haven't been keeping track of our anniversaries anymore since the last time you told me it was childish and you had better things to do with your time"
jake closed his eyes and let a single tear fall down his cheek, god he regretted it everyday, he regretted opening his stupid mouth and talking to you that way every damn day. He had wished you would forget about it after he apologized to you but of course you haven't. That kind of hurt cannot be forgotten so easily
"It hurts but i manage... it's hard to manage tonight, I don't know why.... maybe because I can't stop expecting things to change, hoping that one day I would wake up and I'll be your priority again " You were full on hiccuping through sobs now
"God I'm so stupid and I wore this stupid fucking dress cuz I felt beautiful... not anymore tho, I don't feel beautiful when you aren't there to tell me I am..... you just matter so much to me and it kills me that I won't ever matter even half as much to you"
jake cursed and threw his phone aside while you still talked, holding his head in both hands, jake let himself cry
He let himself cry for all the times he'd hurt your self esteem so much it made you want to change, he cried for all the times he watched your smile fall cuz he couldn't be there for the stuff you wanted to do
He let himself cry for making you feel like you were less of a person just because you got excited over small things and little gestures mattered to you
He cried because he had been hurting the one person who made his life worth living, so much to the point that you had started to make yourself smaller. He had made you shrink.
"You are my first and last everything jake.. and i know you are an important person and have to hide it from the world that you have a girlfriend but i just feel like... Maybe in an effort to make everyone else believe that i don't exist, you started to believe it too.... and i don't even blame you. I've always been forgettable"
His phone dinged to signal the message had ended so he pressed play again. And again. And again. He doesn't remember how long he sat there listening to your sobs and heart wrenching pain. The pain that he had caused.
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jake hadn't felt this kind of fear ever before. Not even when he had moved to a foreign country alone. He was losing his mind, dark circles under his eyes as he sat outside your apartment door. You weren't here, he knew that, he'd been coming to see you everyday but no sign of you. A locked door. That's all he was greeted with for the past 1 week.
Your phone was switched off, no calls or messages, no way of knowing how you were doing and where you were. Had you really left him for good this time? Would he never be able to hold you in his arms again? Hear your giggles and taste your sweet kisses? Was this your goodbye?
That was the thought that had him breaking down completely in his car in the middle of nowhere as he drove around looking for you aimlessly.
just once, he needed to see u once.
He wiped his tears and dialed jay's number
"I need you to do me a favor"
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You missed him. You missed him so much it hurt. Were you being too harsh on him? You weren't doing it on purpose, you just didn't feel like you were capable of facing him right now, too embarrassed and feeling exposed after you sent that stupid voice note. A drunk mistake.
What if he broke up with you? What if he hated you now ?
You sobbed into your pillows in your childhood bedroom, crying yourself to sleep, imagining his arms around you, shushing you softly, telling you he loved you
God you don't even remember the last time he told you he loved you.
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His knees buckled when his eyes fell on you. There you were, so fucking beautiful, so fucking tempting he had to physically stop himself from running to you and taking you in his arms. You weren't smiling and that's what made his heart clench. As long as he'd known you, you were always smiling, you were his personal little cheerleader.
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"Y/n look who's here to meet you" your mother's voice made you jolt, almost dropping the antique case that you were cleaning.
And you almost dropped it again when your questioning eyes met his dark ones. Your heart started beating unbearably fast, your palms sweaty as you placed the case back on the counter with shaky hands
"you didn't tell me you had friends back in the city y/n! And such a handsome one at that- your mother cooed, wiggling her eyebrows at jake whose ears turned red - anyways, you kids talk while I bring you guys snacks" your mother said and disappeared around the corner, leaving you and the reason of your escape from the city alone. You stood there fidgeting with your fingers, the silence sitting heavy on you while you made it a point to look nowhere else except your feet.
After a few foreboding seconds which felt like hours you saw his shoes come into your line of vision, moving closer to your feet
Your hands gripped onto your skirt harshly when you felt his big hands cup both of your cheeks and move your face up to look into his eyes. His face inches from yours.
"Baby.. " he whispered and that's all you had to hear before breaking down, your vision becoming blurry and harsh sobs escaping your lungs
"God I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry sweetheart I'm so fucking sorry" His voice cooed, thumbs swiping at your cheeks to wipe your tears, kissing your cheeks and eyes to calm your heavy breathing
Your hands moved up to fist the shirt on his chest and you closed your eyes to finally let it all out, crying and sobbing your pain out, so hurt and so upset from what things had come to.
He pulled your heaving body into his arms and circled his arms so tight around you, as if afraid of losing you. You sobbed your heart out in the crook of his neck while he apologized to you, whispering countless confessions into your ears
"I love you, I love you so much baby, I'm sorry I haven't shown it to you enough" he whispered and you hiccuped in his chest, letting the hurt and disappointment wash over you, hearing him say he loved you already healing a part of you
His guilt ridden voice had you eventually giving in and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling back to stare into his eyes, small sniffles leaving your lips as u observed his tired face. Your hand cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch, kissing your palm. You traced the heavy dark circles beneath his eyes, his irises were red rimmed and exhausted, hairs messy and uncombed
"How long since u slept?" You asked in your hoarse voice
He stared into your eyes, giddy from feeling you close again, feeling too good cuz you were back in his arms
"2 weeks" He whispered and your eyes teared up again. You knew he had been harsh on himself because of his work, he was often sick, unable to sleep or rest and then there was you and your feelings
Who cared about your stupid feelings when this man in front in front of you couldn't even get proper fucking sleep? If anything, you were the extra baggage that he had been carrying around
"I'm sorry" You whispered and his brows furrowed "baby why? "
"because I'm so inconsiderate, I'm sorry I'm so demanding and - his lips cut your rambling off mid sentence, chapped lips pressed against your plump ones and he kissed you like he had never kissed you before. Desperate hands grabbed your waist while your own tangled In his hairs, pulling him closer to you. You were both hungry. No the better word would be starved. You were starved to the point that even a little brush of skin against each other was sending your heads reeling. The kiss tasted of despair and guilt, it reeked of frustration but most of all jake kissed you like he was scared.
"Wanting to feel loved isn't a demand sweetheart, I'm sorry i haven't been there for you, I'm sorry i haven't been making you feel like you are my priority, because you are. You have no idea what you mean to me baby, you're my little heart" he whispered into your mouth and you started crying again like the crybaby that you were. You were his crybaby tho, his to console and comfort. His to love.
He kissed you again, soft pecks all over your face, whispering things that he had never told you before, he didnt like talking about his feelings this way but the moment demanded vulnerability and he could do anything for you.
You were sure your mother had heard everything by now and that's why you didn't hesitate to drag jake into your childhood bedroom. The both of you snuggled in your bed and talked about your feelings for hours. Tears were shed on both sides but it was comforting in a sense, to clear everything up and come clean about what you both needed
"Will you wear that dress for me again? When we get home?" he asked, his fingers tracing patterns into your waist and you pouted at him
"you've lost that privilege" You teased , slapping his chest lightly
He stared deeply into your eyes, his gaze so serious it made your own smile drop
"I'd do anything to gain that privilege again, to see you look so beautiful for me,so fucking pretty for me" he whispered and you blushed, your head reeling from his words
"I'll wear it" You mumbled shyly, god you were weak for this man
He leaned into you to bite your cheek
"Yeah? you'd let me take it off you too won't you? Unwrap you like a present, just for me? "
You blushed harder, ears burning up, your fists hitting against his chest
"Pervert" you whispered and he chuckled, his hands wrapping around your body to pull you closer, nose burying in the crook of your neck, leaving small sensual kisses
"Can't help it baby I'm so down bad for you" he groaned into your neck, making you flinch slightly as it tickled. His hold on your waist was tight, squeezing you desperately
"you're seriously not thinking dirty things while my mom's down the hallway right? " You asked giggling even though your cheeks were red and flushed. It had been a while since you and jake had done anything like this, since you felt wanted by him like this
jake's pants tightened uncomfortably upon hearing your giggles. God you were so sweet, there was a reason his manager had been forbidding him from seeing you
You were a distraction. You were addicting. And anyone with two eyes could see that jake was addicted to you.
He had physically recoiled when his manager had told him to chose between his idol career and you, seeing how he was willing to sneak out to meet you, risking everything and putting everyone at stake
But jake had promised he would control himself. He couldn't live without you, even the thought of you not being there made his chest constrict. So he decided to stay away from you for a while. Even though it hurt , it surely hurt less than to stay away from you forever
"I was drunk and couldn't stop thinking about you" jake whispered, coming up to move your body, laying you on your back so that he could hover over you
"so i drank more and kept drinking till I couldn't feel my fingers"
Your wide doe eyes stared up at him curiously, wondering why he was telling you this all of a sudden
He brought his palm up to your face, stroking your cheek by the back of his hand, caressing you like he loved you
"I didn't forget about your award sweetheart, I was too drunk to remember anything at all, woke up hungover the next evening and i realized what I had done. In an effort to forget about you, I forgot everything else as well. I know it's not an excuse but i just need to tell you" He said, his expression guilty and distraught
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to yourself
"Why were you trying to forget about me? Why not just come see me? or call me? "
Your innocent questioning eyes made jake close his eyes in impending sorrow. He leaned down and kissed u deeply, tasting your hot mouth to stabilize himself before pulling back and telling you everything.
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You layed wide wake, stroking your fingers through jake's hair as he slept soundly snuggled into your chest. His soft snores and breath hitting your clavicle.
Honestly you weren't surprised that his manager had done such a thing. You weren't a fool, you noticed the hostile stares he would shoot your way everytime you went over to the boys' dorms or practice sessions. His eyes were always set on you in a glaring warning, as if to say, "you're not welcome here"
You hated that you understood where he was coming from. Being responsible for an entire group's reputation must be hard and your presence only made it harder.
You sighed and hugged jake's head closer to you, burying your nose in his hairs, breathing him in after so long. His hands were around your waist, grip so tight even in his sleep, it made you feel safe and so loved. This was all you wanted. Him in your arms, was that really too much to ask for?
You were still awake about two hours later, sleep just wouldn't come to you, head filled with so many thoughts. You tried slipping out from his grip to fetch water but his strong hands were pulling your body back into him
"Hmm don't go" He mumbled, his voice heavy and sleep ridden, eyes still closed but brows slightly furrowed. You smiled and kissed his nose, trying to slip again when his eyes opened wide, a gasp escaped your lips when he was flipping you over, resting his body over yours, nibbling on your ear
"I said don't fucking go" he growled and the sound had you rubbing your thighs together, hands coming up to rest against his shoulders
"I-i was just thirsty" you whispered and he hummed into your skin, nibbling on your ear again, sucking your lobe into his mouth making you whine softly
"I'm thirsty too" he whispered in your ear, his hands moving down to grab your thighs and parting them so he could settle his crotch against your middle, making you feel how hard he was in his jeans
"so fucking thirsty baby" He groaned and thrusted against you, a harsh gasp left your lips at his actions
"J-jake not here" you whispered but even you didn't believe your words, pussy starting to drip just from the way his voice sounded so husky and deep in your ear. His hands groped your lower body, taking a handful of your ass as he issued another thrust against you
Before you could tell him to stop again, he was pulling back, standing on his knees between your legs while he hastily undid his belt and jeans
"I'm sorry sweetheart I just can't wait any fucking longer, I need to put it in" he panted, you squirmed underneath him, watching how he was quick to pull his pants down his legs, his boxers coming off along with them, hanging around his thighs
He didn't bother taking his clothes all the way off, desperate hands reaching under your skirt to pull your panties down your legs
Your breathing was heavy, eyes pivoted to the hard dick that hung between his legs, arousal gushing down your slit when he rubbed a finger against your hole while fisting his own dick a few times "such a pretty fucking pussy"
"jake please" you moaned and he cursed, coming up to capture your lips into his own while he settled between your legs, rubbing his cock against your leaking cunt, rubbing it up and down, bumping against your engorged clit, making you moan into his mouth that was busy licking into yours
The feeling of being so close to each other after so long had you feeling hot and heavy
"Yeah baby? you want it?" he demanded, eyes dark and lust ridden as he gazed into your teary ones
"Y-yes please" you mumbled and jake clenched his jaw. Fuck. You were sweeter than candy and he couldn't control himself when it came to you
He rested his forehead against yours, looking down to stare at how his dick entered your warm sex, hips grinding to slide in smoother and deeper. Your mouth fell open in a silent moan upon the feeling of him inside of you after so long "baby f-fuck" he groaned into your mouth, feeling his resolve to go soft on you fading away at the way your tight walls were clenching around him
"you're sucking me in baby, so tight"
His words made your hips twitch. The indication enough for him to start moving in you. Your nails dug into his shoulders from above his shirt that he still wore as his hips started snapping against yours, his balls smacking filthily against your ass
His hot moans were making you wetter, drool escaping your mouth at the pleasure
"ts so good baby I fucking missed this" he pants, his hands groping your body mercilessly as he kept moving in and out of your leaking pussy
He licked the drool escaping your lips, sticking his tongue inside your hot mouth, licking into it with urgency while he moved your legs upwards, pressing your body in a mating press, increasing his pace
Harsh animalistic thrusts were sending your body in a ripple, making you move back and forth as he moved above you, sending the headboard of the bed slamming against the wall, the sex getting louder, messier
"Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah" he insinuated with every grind of his hips into you, meshing your lower bodies together to create a friction so insane it had you moaning his name in a chant, mind numbing pleasure clouding your senses
You both shared open mouth kisses, sucking on each other's tongue lewdly, uncaring of how messy it was, you loved messy
His hands moved up to hold onto the headboard above your head as he moved his hips deeper into yours, letting your legs fall around his hips, wrapping around his waist, your ankles digging into his ass to keep him buried deep inside of your warm cunt
"Wanted to make love to you but look what you fucking do to me" he groaned into your mouth, occasionally licking into it and digging his teeth into your lower lip, making you whine and moan in extreme pleasure. His dick made out with your cervix, bumping pleasurably into your g spot, penetrating your womb mercilessly
The sound of the headboard slamming was getting louder, bed creaked beneath your writhing bodies, the sweat on your naked bodies making it easier to slide against each other
Your moans were getting louder as his silent curses reached a fever pitch, a bunch of "Umhhnshit baby" and "so good" s falling from his lips, hips getting sloppier, pistoning in and out of you in a frenzy, uncaring of how your mother could probably hear you get pounded into the sheets
"s-so close jake I'm so close" you moaned and his hips got faster, his hand sneaking down to rub against your clit to make u reach your high faster. He couldn't wait to feel you gushing around his cock "that's right baby, make a fucking mess on me yeah?" he groaned, biting your lower lip and rubbing harshly against you, his hips never faltering, thrusting and thrusting until you were cumming all over his dick with a scream of his name
The moan was so pornographic it had him cumming within minutes of feeling the delicious clench of your cunt around his aching cock, filling you up to the brim, harsh pants escaping his lips as he used your pussy to ride his orgasm, eyes rolling back in pleasure. Sighs of satisfaction filled the empty space between your mouths
Harsh breaths were shared as you both came down from your highs, sharing sweet kisses and confessions, a string of "I love you" s falling from his lips while his palms caressed your body softly, rubbing against the parts where he'd grabbed you harshly
"Don't you need to go back? what will your manager do if he finds out you're here with me?" you asked some time later, his dick was still in you, feeling too good to cockwarm him just like this
He kissed you softly and shook his head "Told jay to take care of it. I honestly couldn't care less baby I just need you"
You bit your lower lip, getting shy now that he was being so sweet to you, not used to have him say such things to you casually "But u should care jake, you can't just risk your career for me"
"I could do anything for you. Nothing matters if you're not there, I hope you know that sweetheart" he whispered in your mouth before kissing you deeply again. "I hope you also know how proud of you I am my pretty little artist, no one else deserved that award more than you baby"
You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and kissed him back, heart feeling full and all insecurities fading away at his words, cheeks flaming red from his compliments, unable to hide the smile overtaking your face
"I love you" you whispered, as if saying them any louder would take the meaning of the words away
"Yeah? Say that again baby" He whispered back and you giggled shyly, burying your face in the crook of his neck where you repeated the words again
He chuckled and kissed the side of your head adoringly "I love you so much too baby, and I'm going to show it to you every waking moment, I'm gonna love on you till you're begging me to stop"
You curled your body further into him at his words, heart feeling giddy after a very long time. Hoping that this feeling would last forever.
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AITA for telling a school counselor about what my friend does online?
I (F minor) am in middle school. I have a group of friends, about 8 people, but this is about one girl in specific we can call Annie. All of us are mutuals on tumblr, twitter, etc. and we have a discord server too.
All of us are into a lot of the same things, like art, anime, video games, and have a lot of the same hobbies. Most of us also struggle with mental health stuff like anxiety and/or depression so we regularly talk to our school counselor (F, Idk how old she is).
Anyways, we're all really close and we get along really well for the most part, but lately Annie has been doing stuff that really bothers and worries us.
She's VERY into internet discourse. Has 10 paragraph long DNI page, is constantly starting fights with other people, etc. She usually argues about stuff like LGBT+ rights, womens rights, etc. but also a LOT of fandom discourse which is my biggest concern.
A lot of my other friends reblog/retweet stuff like anime gifs, fanart, memes, etc. but pretty much every post I see from Annie is her fighting with someone over shipping or something like that.
A lot of the posts are basically:
Her talking about how disgusting a certain ship or character is
How everyone who likes that specific thing is a degenerate, or freak, or pedo or groomer.
How if you like problematic ships you need to get a therapist, or you deserve to be hurt. Once I saw her arguing with someone who said they write certain stuff due to trauma and she said "You don't have trauma, you're either lying or you actually liked it and that's why you write such disgusting nasty shit"
Fighting with random people and accusing them of being a predator or a pedo
Breaking her own DNI (which says adults, proshitters, etc. DNI) and then getting mad at the other person for responding
It's really upsetting to see because she does this CONSTANTLY. She never seems to use tumblr/twitter to do things she actually likes. I never see her reblog gifs or memes or just silly lighthearted posts about stuff she enjoys.
It's especially upsetting because we're minors and she TELLS PEOPLE THAT. Like she's arguging with people that she thinks are pedos or child predators, while openly telling people her actual age. To me that's like covering yourself in bloody steaks and then jumping into water full of sharks.
I was really starting to get concerned because even in our private discord server she's always talking about how much she hates these people or whatever and how they should die, a lot of the time she says things like "they should get the wall" or "I hope their nasty fanfics happen to them irl that would teach them lol" and it really freaks me out.
She also talks about seeing the "child porn" that these people make which as far as I'm aware is drawings of characters but it still freaks me out how open and calm she is about looking at what she THINKS is child porn. I asked her if it's child porn why is it being linked in callout posts for other people (including minors!) to see and not being reported to the FBI but she just gets mad and changes the subject.
Me and our other friends have mentioned before that we don't like hearing about this kind of stuff but then she just gets mad and goes offline or gives us the silent treatment at school.
A month or so ago I got so fed up and upset, that I took a bunch of screenshots of her tumblr account and discord messages. One thing to note is that her username is VERY specific.
It's a combination of her first and last name and her birth year. Most people will not know that, but if you know her name and birthday, it's easy to tell it's her. She also goes by her real name online which I also screenshotted as proof it's her.
I brought all this to the school counselor, and I told her how worried I was about Annie, and how I think she's doing something really unsafe. Not only is she confronting people she thinks are child predators/groomers, she's telling people they deserve to get hurt in really awful ways, and looking at porn and I don't think this is good for her mental health.
The counselor at first was like "Idk are you SURE it's her? It could be anyone online!" But I insisted that it was and explained the username thing and that this was our private discord server so obviously I know it's her.
She thanked me for letting her know and told me I was being a good friend and then we talked about how I was doing, and then I left. I kind of forgot about it until a week later.
Annie wasn't online at all and I was kind of worried, but then I saw her on Monday at school. I was with our other friends and we called out her name so she would see us and come over and she LOST IT. She started screaming at us and telling us how awful we were, and how we ruined her life.
Idk what exactly happened, but apparently the counselor talked to her and her parents got involved? Her parents now monitor her internet usage, they have child safety stuff on the browsers, and she's only allowed on certain websites for doing research for school, or watching videos on youtube on their account so they can see what videos she's watching, or playing games on steam.
She said that her parents are also putting her in therapy once a week now (with an actual therapist, not the counselor) and she's only allowed to go out with an adult chaperone (either her older sister or one of her parents).
But... None of our friends know it was me who told the counselor. Annie has other friends besides us, so they're also "suspects" for being the snitch. It seems like half of our friends are relieved that Annie is kept away from that kind of stuff and the other half are mad at whoever the snitch is for ratting Annie out and resulting in her having less privacy/freedom.
At first I was happy that Annie was getting help and being kept away from this but now I feel really conflicted. I feel so disgusting talking to her and our other friends and pretending nothing happened, knowing that I was the one who told the counselor.
Annie still talks to us but she's a lot less open. We still have our discord server but apparently her parents will read through the messages to make sure she's not talking about anything bad and that she's only talking to us and not strangers.
What are these acronyms?
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thydungeongal · 2 months
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(On anon for controversial take)
I think that "not engage with media made by bigots" is not really a political demand that's possible to maintain.
There are undeniably media that are built on hate and to spread hate, like Turner's Diary or works on Esoteric Hitlerism. And there are media that while didn't mean it are absolutely gross and harmful, like South Park.
But a lot of works contain some elements that are... insensitive. I am not saying that we shouldn't talk about that, we absolutely have to, and we have to make sure that creators are aware of it, but "never engage with anything problematic" is absolutely not doable. It will just turn into utilizing progressive language to win internet debates, same as pro/anti fracture.
And like, humans are very diverse, and it means not only that there are a lot of groups of people but that people in the same groups may have different opinions. Of course finding one marginalised person who is chill with some shit is just manipulation (I heard about some black celebrity who straight up says that racism is not real, so you could prove whatever this way), and it's equally manipulative to find one who is offended by something (saw a couple of Greeks who are offended by non-Greeks using art and culture from Classical Antiquity, Greeks are not POC or anything but ethnic minority and I couldn't from the top of my head remember anything clearly absurd). But like sometimes there is a pretty prominent split. Some time ago there was a series of posts about how for some disabled people magical cure of character's disability feels like erasure and for some as wish fulfillment. I saw both East Asians who are fans of ATLA specifically for its handling of East Asian cultures and those who consider it racist garbage.
I think the jump from "don't support media made by active bigots" to "you are not allowed to engage with any media if it has any even slightly problematic things" is an interpretation of your own making and not one made by the post you are reacting to. I personally am a big fan of problematic media, but when I see an author funneling money into a transphobic cause it's actually very easy for me to say "oh dang I won't engage with that media in any way."
Like, yes, there is of course nuance here. I'm not a fan of moral purity tests on media. But I think people are capable of seeing that an author is actively doing harm by supporting horrible causes and making the decision to disengage from their work due to not wanting to support any kind of ecosystem for the discussion of that media.
There's no hard and fast rules here, but I feel a lot of people fall on rationalizations that are actually really infantilizing when trying to explain why they simply can't disengage from media.
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fairy-writes · 1 year
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😎 congrats on 900 followers my best friend!! You deserve it!! I shall give the first first request to you, and that is, Sanemi x fem reader!!! With the action prompt 1! I give you free reign but for the love of everything holy, please make it fluffy!!!!!
IT JUST MEANS TIME
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Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!
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Fandom(s): Demon Slayer
Pairing(s): Shinazugawa Sanemi x Female!Reader
Prompt: Falling asleep with their head in the lap of their lover (Action Prompt #1)
Notes: This is technically before the reader and Sanemi gets together, but it’s a fun idea, so we’re going with it, lol.
This is for my 900 followers event! Check my pinned post for more info if you want to join! It’s going on between May 1st and May 15th!
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There was always something off about you, but Shinazugawa Sanemi could never place what it was. 
You were a fellow Hashira—the Falcon Hashira, if he remembered right. You were from overseas but talented nonetheless. One of the more talented Hashira, if he had to admit anything. With quick but grand divebombing techniques and lethal strikes that imitated a falcon, after which you were named. The two of you sparred often, usually on your estate. You teased him, saying that he probably had a dirty home. 
He never told you it was because he didn’t want you to see the picture of his family. 
He didn’t want your pity most of all. 
Because he had a feeling that your pity would shatter his heart into tiny pieces.
But he wasn’t sure why.
Sanemi wakes up somewhere warm. His body aches as if he was dragged behind a train. His eyelashes flutter open, and he looks up to see your face. Your eyes are closed. Your face turned forward toward the open window, gently swaying from side to side with the breeze as you hummed a tune. It was calming… relaxing… 
It was something he hadn’t felt since before his mother died. 
The moment he realizes his head is in your lap, he bolts upright, startling you into opening your eyes. You glance at him in confusion before your expression warms, a twinkle in your eye and an expression he couldn’t quite place curling your lips.
“Have a nice rest?” You ask kindly. That was the thing about you. You were never unkind to anyone. You dealt with demons swiftly and painlessly, even going as far as to pray for them as they died. You always had that smile on your face, even when people screamed or cursed in your face. 
“Where am I?” He demands, and you shrug,
“Your estate. Shinobu asked if I could keep an eye on you while you healed. Do you remember anything?” You ignore his guarded expression, instead talking to him as if he was your best friend or even a lover. 
Lover… 
For whatever reason, he didn’t hate that idea. But he knew it was never meant to be. While he cared for you deeply (he wasn’t sure when that happened), he knew that you would never look twice at a man like him. Why would you? You were calm, kind, successful, and one of the only Hashira with a still living and loving family. Why you were a demon slayer was a mystery to him. 
“Shinazugawa? Are you alright?” You ask, breaking him from his reverie. You had cocked your head, and concern painted your face like an art piece. With the setting sun bathing your body in golden light, he thought you looked almost like an angel. 
Sanemi nods,
“‘m fine. What happened?” He eventually says, and you frown (he hates it when you frown) but reply regardless. 
“We were sent on a mission, and you were attacked by a demon. You passed out from blood loss soon after we killed the demon. I carried you back here. ” You explain succinctly, and he blinks. He vaguely remembered going on the mission. He remembers a splash of red. He remembers being moved. 
Had that been you? 
He is stuck in his mind and only shakes his head to clear himself of half-formed memories when you come back in with a tray of tea and a roll of bandages. 
“Shinobu asked that I take care of you.” You reiterate and gesture for him to turn around. He does so without a word. There’s no use in arguing, not when he hurts this bad and can spot speckles of stains on his futon where blood had leaked through the wrappings. You work deftly and quietly, only asking if the bandages are too tight, to which he says no. 
Eventually, you speak. 
“Who are those people in the picture?” You ask, and he immediately knows which picture you’re talking about. It’s the one by his futon. It’s the only picture of his entire family. His father’s face had been ripped from the image, and there were a few splatters of red on the paper, but he kept it nonetheless. 
“It doesn’t matter.” He says gruffly and grunts when you tug a bit too tight on the bandage around his middle. You apologize quietly.
“They’re your family, aren’t they? I think that matters a lot.” You say, voice but a whisper in the breeze coming through the window.  Sanemi clenches his fists and grits his teeth. Here it comes. 
The pity. 
The apologies. 
You don’t look at him with those eyes that he despises. Instead, you look at him with compassion, not pity. 
“I think they’d be proud of you, y’know? You’re helping so many people. I think they’d want you to have a happily ever after.” You say, and he remembers seeing you read a book of foreign fairy tales. When he had asked you about it, you had smiled. 
“I just want a happily ever after someday.” You had said. 
“There’s no such thing as “happily ever after.” It’s just a lie that everyone tells themselves because the truth is too hard.” He says bitterly, his heart constricting.
No. 
He didn’t want to say that. 
Not to you. 
He didn’t want you to look sad. 
But you continue to astound him when you speak again. You don’t apologize. You don’t reprimand him. You don’t belittle him. 
“Happily ever after just means time, Sanemi.” You whisper, putting a hand over his. He revels in the feeling of your calloused hand and the way you say his name with a smile. Normally, he’d shout at anyone for calling him that. But you are different. And that was something he liked about you.
So, when you gently tug him down so he lies with his head in your lap, he doesn’t complain. He even closes his eyes as you begin to hum. 
He falls asleep soon after, feeling relaxed and calm, feeling loved. 
Sanemi always prided himself on keeping his walls up. Because with a past like his, he didn’t want pity. He didn’t want people to say how sorry they were for him. Because frivolous words like that did nothing around demons. 
But… strangely enough… he didn’t feel like he needed to keep them up around you. 
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sonnysonder · 5 months
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(THIS POST IS PURELY ABOUT THE FICTIONAL QSMP CHARACTERS, NOT THE CREATORS WHO PLAY THEM. THIS IS ALSO MY OPINION WHICH I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE)
Can I be fr for a sec
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I'm honestly more interested in who qFit and qPac are as individual characters than who they are as a couple.
And no, you can stop clutching your pearls. This is not me saying I hate Hideduo, or even FitPac. I really like them in fact! They have good chemistry, and they play off each other wonderfully.
But I just wish more people would see the two of them as their own seperate characters.
I think both qFit and qPac presently suffer EGREGIOUSLY from both mischaracterization, and just...people forgetting that there's more to the two of them then who they are as a couple.
I was SO excited when qFit lore really started taking off because I knew a whole lot of cool fan content to consume would come out of it, but I hardly see anything anymore. Ik q!Fit is one of the less popular characters, and it's occurred to me that a lot of people might only know his character through FitPac.
(Which leads to a ton of mischaracterization. Like people even throw out the whole slowburn thing and all the trauma stuff that MAKE them a slowburn but that's a gripe for another day)
But qPac REALLY gets the short end of the stick imo. I have seen MAYBE three works of art, fanfiction, or otherwise that delve into who he is outside of relationships (Fitpac or otherwise!!!) Which I think is SUCH a waste! The dude is an orphan! A skilled fighter! A loving father! A MASTER INVENTOR!! And I'm lucky if one these things are even MENTIONED in most fics I've read.
(Yes, qFit is my favorite character and the one I follow predominantly, but from what I've seen qPac is also portrayed extremely surface level in a lot of works which is a shame!)
Lemme see more qFit lore works, his friendships with other characters, badass stuff with him in 2b2t, heck, stuff with him and Ramon! They have a fascinating relationship!
Let me see stuff that really EXPLORES qPac. His guilt, his highs and lows, his backstory, his SKILLS! WHY HE DOES THE THINGS HE DOES!!!
Anyway this is not me saying not to make FitPac/Hideduo stuff. Make whatever the hell you want, I'm just saying there's a ton more to both characters that's super interesting and has tons of potential, you just gotta look a bit deeper!
PEOPLE SHOULD MAKE MORE STUFF ABOUT THE CHARACTERS QFIT AND QPAC ARE. AND FOR THEMSELVES, NOT JUST FOR EACH OTHER. THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN JJST BEING EXTENSIONS OF EACH OTHER.
Also this had nothing to do with qFit basically being confirmed queer!! That's great love that for him!! I've just had this on my mind for a while now!!
This is also not directed at anyone in particular!!
Thanks for listening to me gripe ig
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zootopiathingz · 2 months
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Genuine question: Why do you ship Radiobelle? I've seen a lot of people doing it, and I'm curious as to what the appeal is!
The real question is, why do people ship anything? Why do we all see two or sometimes more characters interact with each other and imagine how cool it would be if they both had deep-seated romantic feelings for the other?
Answer: cuz we can!😌
Idk about the rest of you, but I don’t exactly have much control over what I ship and don’t ship😅 I just see the characters together and my brain randomly decides either “yes I want them to make out” or “nooo I don’t really see it”. (I am in no way a pro shipper though cuz no)
But as for Radiobelle specifically, there’s just something about them that my silly fangirl heart can’t resist. While I am fairly new to the HH fandom, I did watch the pilot around the time it came out and a small part of me did ship them back then. But I never really allowed myself to indulge in it and I just wasn’t that into the show anyway so I didn’t bother. Now, after actually watching the episodes and engaging in fandom content, I finally embraced the cringe to the full extent and let myself be consumed by the radio demon and his charming demon belle! :P
Now I’m aware that the majority of people don’t like Radiobelle, or even full-on hate it for multiple reasons. Sure, whatever. You don’t have to like every ship, nor does anyone expect you to! I can understand it’s not for everybody. The main thing that bugs me, though, is when people try to start arguments about why it’ll never be canon and why you shouldn’t ship it. “Charlie is with Vaggie and Alastor is aro/ace!” People ship Alastor with a multitude of other characters and nobody bats an eye,, why is it only when you see him being drawn with Charlie that you lose your shit and get offended about his sexuality being ‘erased’? (That’s a topic for a whole other post tbh). And people can ship Charlie with other people. Hell, they DO! I’ve seen numerous art of her and other characters.
Then there’s also the “Alastor thinks of her as his daughter!” See, I want everybody to actually watch episode 5 again and come back to me on this. No, he fucking does not. The only reason he was saying any of that was to get under Lucifer’s skin. That’s it. That was his whole intention. He doesn’t like Lucifer and wanted to rub it in his face that he has been a lousy father to his daughter, in comparison to all the ways he has helped her, with the hotel and whatever else.
Phew, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way! Onto why Radiobelle has stolen my heart!
I just love their dynamic and it all really started with the pilot. Alastor—this mysterious force of nature who can kill anyone and anything, is capable of unimaginable power and torture—randomly showing up on the doorstep of a hotel to help out. And literally no one else trusts him (reasonably so) but Charlie, the good-hearted soul she is, lets him in. She’s cautious, of course, but she’s giving him the chance to do some good because that’s what her dream is all about!
Now while I do wish they had some more interactions in the actual show, what we have so far is scrumptious✨ Alastor may have been giving an abundance of praise to Charlie to piss off her dad, but I don’t think he was lying. Deep down I’m sure he is enjoying the time they’ve spent together—even if he doesn’t fully realize it. Charlie defends Al’s sadistic behavior to her dad because he was doing it to defend the hotel (and bc he’s a cocky mf lol but it’s endearing to her in a way).
Oh and don’t even get me STARTED on episode 7 bro,, omfg the content!! The way he’s extra touchy with her even after they’ve made their deal. Her being nervous and stressed out but he encourages her anyway and verbally admits that he had faith in her the whole time. Him giving her his microphone—which is likely the main source of his power as shown in episode 8 (where he let her use his mic AGAIN!!!) which just shows how much he actually trusts her,, UGH it’s just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 give me more!!
Now, do I expect Radiobelle to become canon? No. Would it be fucking awesome if it did? Oh absolutely. But I know it won’t, and I don’t care! I’m having the time of my life shipping these two hell-dwelling idiots and I don’t care what anyone says about it!😋
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venbetta · 8 months
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I'm not sure if anyone's ever thought about this or has made a post about it, but I figured I'd add my own two cents if someone did talk about this.
// Ruin spoilers ahead
mostly about Freddy
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So, seeing that headless Freddy has prototype written on the bottom of his foot, it's suggested or even theorized that our Freddy (the one we're with in SB) was a prototype this entire time.
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Of course, like many others, I was very skeptical and in denial about the idea because why the hell would that be a thing? How is he a prototype? It wasn't there on his foot in the base game, so why this sudden change?
I kinda hated it, and as a way to cope, I theorized that maybe it wasn't the same Freddy and FazEnt just replaced him with another copy and then abandoned him... don't ask me how that particular Freddy became headless either. Also I was wobbling between the "True Ending" being the Canon one, I was back and forth and just trying to figure out what would've made sense.
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My logic for the True Ending being canon was, maybe Freddy and Gregory both got out (alongside Vanessa) with glamdaddy intact, and they're just living life. Meanwhile, Faz Ent just made a new Freddy while fixing the plex but gave up and left everything to rot. Of course I know now that makes no sense or explains why/how the 2nd Freddy lost his head, but it's what I came up with. The PQ Ending is technically canon... so that was a waste of a braincell, hah...
Since fnaf has the tendency to rewrite/add things to the story, I think our Glamrock Freddy being a prototype is something I've accepted. Now, there are a few things I thought of that might add to the idea of him being a prototype (not confirmed but more speculative).
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He's a high-tech, sentient AI robot, he can clearly experience human emotion (like the other glamrocks) and has decent mobility. What most likely seperates him from the other glams is the fact that he experiences existentialism. I know we don't see much from the other glams, what they think of their current situation (not even from Roxy in Ruin), they aren't fully aware of what they are or what they're doing (as far as we know). Their programming is focused on being entertainers and birthdays.
I'm not gonna say that the other glams aren't able to express deeper thoughts, but I think this is where I might be stretching this idea just a bit.
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If you're going to make AI bots who can adapt and be flexible with their environment, there's gotta be some kind of limit of what they can say/think/do. Freddy is the prime example of not having that limitation since we see/hear him express concern about not being the only Glamrock Freddy that's walking around:
"Have I always been a Freddy? Am I Monty with a different shell? What if I am not the first Glamrock Freddy? ... Do we all feel the same? Am I special? If I am mass-produced, am I still art?" (Endo Warehouse)
This motherfucker literally commits arson:
"You sure collected a lot of toys! Perhaps we can do something to stop whatever is going on here." (Fire escape Ending)
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When he goes to the basement and encounters the blob, he goes on this monologue:
"I know what this is. I have been here before. She brought me here. I found myself for the first time when I cleared the path. I did not want to, but I had no choice. Now I have a choice. I have changed. My friends are here. They are so angry, confused. But I can protect you. I am not me." (True Ending)
He ultimately goes against some of his programming to help a child in need-- even lie to a security guard-- which if he were set to do as he's told, he would've sent Gregory straight to Vanessa, even with Gregory adamantly telling him not to.
If he were programmed to be strict and not break any protocols, he'd would've gotten Gregory killed immediately.
I'm saying this because if we're being realistic (realistic in terms of how we usually program robots and things), there are barriers in what a robot/ai can really say/do that doesn't break its programming. If he's a prototype, Freddy wouldn't have those barriers to stop him from saying/doing most of the things he did in SB. I know there's another factor to him behaving kindly to Gregory and that's him being in safe mode, but even still... you would think he would follow the rules and not let Gregory do certain things and perhaps unintentionally get the boy killed.
I'm going back to the existential crisis Freddy has, because for something that's meant to be an animatronic mascot for kids, you wouldn't want him to make the children around him question the meaning of being alive and sentient. There would have to be some sort of guard against having those kind of thoughts and ideas. It makes Freddy more interesting, especially if he could've been easily replaced with a finalized version of him that did what he was suppose to.
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Also, I know it's probably more widely accepted that either Vanny or Gregory hacked into Freddy, causing his collapse during the opening. With him being a prototype, maybe his systems couldn't handle that type of an advanced hack, unlike the other glams, making him unable to be properly hacked into in the beginning.
Not only that, there are some issues he has with performing, who knows, maybe he's had collapses before. We don't know.
Him being unable to enter the West Arcade:
"When I step onto the West Arcade dance floor I cannot stop myself! It is a programming bug." (West Arcade)
I'm aware him being in safe mode meant he's disconnected from the main network as well keeps him docile. While the "Afton" fight isn't technically canon, with the other upgrades on Freddy, those parts might have made him more susceptible to the virus attack. There's not much evidence pointing to the other glams not being prototypes but seeing how they each have upgrades while Freddy doesn't, that might hint that the others were mostly finalized, meaning their systems were properly functioning (aside from the virus of course).
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Sorry if this was super long, but it's something I thought about and I had to put it in words. Nothing about Glamrock Freddy is normal, like he's not possessed (I use to believe in the glammike theory but I don't anymore eh...), but he's a prototype! He's gonna act all funky because he's not polished yet... and I think that's very interesting and endearing (in an odd way).
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roxannarambles · 6 months
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I commissioned the wonderful @gotchibam to draw this piece and they just blew out outta the water, absolutely beautiful. There's not enough art of Nemona and especially not enough art of Nemona & Juliana, so I thought, why not? Not to mention I'm still salty about our Paldean friends being excluded from the DLC, so here's a little something to remedy that 💜🧡
In honor of the art being finished, I'll even post a Juliana/Nemona scene from my Teal Mask Rewrite fanfic that was mostly obscured due to Carmine and Kieran's hijinks. Because I did in fact have the whole conversation written, but I didn't put it all in since the 'ship really wasn't the main focus of the story. Scene behind a cut in case folks are not interested in 'ship stuff ^_^
They wandered the outskirts of the festival, the mood cozy and comfortable as they chatted under the light of the lanterns.
In the midst of their discussion, Juliana was saying,
"I dunno, I still think maybe I shouldn't have played Fezandipiti instead of Carmine."
"What? No, you did great, what d'you mean?"
"Well I just felt kinda bad, she seemed really deadset on it."
"Nahhh, she volunteered to be Munkidori! It's fine."
Juliana tossed the remains of her candy apple in a trashcan as they walked by. She sighed,
"I guess so. Though I got the feeling she only did that 'cause-- uh."
She hesitated, hoping Nemona wouldn't notice.
"Cause what?"
"Nothing, nothing."
"What?"
"It's silly, it's-- well. She made that weird comment, um. Thinking we were girlfriends?"
". . . oh."
There was an awkward pause as the two walked. After a few moments, Nemona asked,
"Does it bother you?"
Juliana asked cautiously,
"Does what bother me?"
"Just, um. People thinking . . . that. I mean, if it bothers you, we can tell them we aren't--"
"What, no, it doesn't bother me!"
"Oh, okay. Are you sure?"
Juliana laughed.
"Of course! Why would it? Like . . . somebody thinks I'm dating the coolest, most kickass, smartest girl in my school, oh nooooo, how awful, whatever shall I do?"
She'd held a dramatic hand to her forehead as she'd said it, and Nemona groaned,
"Unnngh, c'mon, Jules."
"What?"
"I really wanna know if it bothers you, I'm being serious--"
"I'm being serious too!!"
They slowed to a stop near some park benches. Nemona cast her a wary glance.
". . . you are?"
Emphatically, Juliana answered,
"Yeah, of course, I'm dead serious. You're the coolest, most kickass, smartest girl in my school."
"Nnngh, Jules!"
"What?? Nemona, I know you hate compliments but I am gonna keep saying it until you accept it's fact--"
Nemona buried her face in her hands, saying,
"Noooooo . . ."
Juliana drew closer and gently grabbed her hands, pulling them away from her face and holding them. Gazing deep into her eyes so she knew she was serious, Juliana told her,
"I mean it, Nemona. You're incredible. Every day, you inspire me. You attack life with everything you have. You love so deeply and you never let anyone stop you, no matter how often they've tried. You're sweet and you're brilliant and you're kind and you're literally the most amazing person I've ever met."
Blushing intensely, Nemona squeaked, "Oh . . ." Juliana let her hands go and cleared her throat. "S-so, uh, yeah, I mean . . . it doesn't bother me." "Okay. . . t-that's good. . ." "But, uh, hey, if it bothers you if people think we're girlfriends, I mean, that's fine--"
Nemona cut her off, voice incredulous; "--bother me? Of course not! How-- if-- if we were girlfriends I'd be the luckiest girl in the world!" Juliana blinked at her, startled. With dawning realization, she breathed, "Oh . . ." "H-hypothetically, I mean . . ."
Lips twisting into a wry smile, Juliana nodded, "Right, of course."
Her glance shifted away, and after an awkward pause, she ventured, "So, um . . . hypothetically, if we were girlfriends . . ."
Nemona answered quickly, "Yeah?"
Juliana's eyes returned to Nemona's. She inched closer to her, almost imperceptibly, and continued carefully, "Are you . . . the kinda girl who likes surprise kisses or likes to be asked, orrrrr . . ."
Nemona considered the question seriously before shrugging. "I mean, either's good, I guess it depends on the situation. . ."
“Okay. Got it.”
They gazed at each other in tense silence. The seconds stretched on and felt unbearably slow; one second, two, three . . .
Then Juliana took a breath and blurted,
"Could I kiss you?"
Nemona's eyes widened, almost comically large. She automatically wetted her lips and swallowed, her gaze flitting to Juliana's lips and then back again to her eyes. She stammered, ". . . u-um, h-hypothetically, o-or . . .?" Juliana laughed softly. "For real." After a lingering pause, Nemona nodded, a burgeoning smile threatening to overtake her. Juliana slowly leaned closer and lifted up a little on her toes; their eyes slipped shut as their lips met. It was very tentative at first, slow and careful and awkward, but it was also soft and warm and kind of wonderful.
Juliana felt Nemona's hand cradle her jaw as she pressed closer, deepening the kiss. Juliana could swear it felt like something bright and hot was thumping in her chest-- like hot coals being stoked to life.
"All right, EAT DIRT, DORKS!!"
She startled at a sudden shout and the force of something impacting with her back. A few seconds later, she realized it was a snowball.
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captainzigo · 1 month
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Welcome to me blog
If you are a mutual, DM me for an invite to discord server and subsequently to minecraft server
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that’s a bunch of pictures of oc(/ponysona) Prickly Pear. she’s a cowgirl
FAQ below the break
i do take requests. i do not currently take commissions, but don’t be shy about sending requests. i can always say no. or fuck it up really bad.
you can send me asks and DMs at my sideblog @snapewife-divorce-lawyer any asks you send me should be like Strongbad emails. one paragraph. no attachments. unless you are sending me refs.
i reblog most stuff at my other sideblog: @3amgaypotion
you are fine to DM me, but remember i am not obligated to respond at all.
in any interactions, please keep in mind that i am a stranger on the internet and act accordingly
i am autistic. i say this because representation matters, but also because i would like to ask that you please be very frank with me. i don’t even really need your patience. just say what you mean and we will get along fine.
you most certainly can draw any of my ocs. i’d love that acually. tag me
you can redraw, dub or do whatever to my works with credit. i expect credit to include clickable links. also please try to keep the spirit of the original work. don’t add nsfw subtext for example. don’t redraw a ship art as a ship with an inappropriate age gap, and so on.
do not post my art on other platforms. do not repost my art period. I don’t really exist on other platforms since I deleted Twitter. So if you see my stuff on other platforms, it’s not me. 
i’m in my twenties. i keep my blog SFW as a strict rule. PG13 except i swear a lot more. i do not keep myself that way, and i have no aversion to that sort of content, but i keep all of my posts SFW.
in my opinion, all romance real or fictional should be between people who are not related, similar in age, doing age appropriate things, all with mutual consent. i am not interested in witnessing or interacting with anything outside of these parameters.
i am a trans woman. i am also bisexual. i am also poly and demi since im listing things. i am out online becasue i know how important it is to know that you aren’t alone.
if you follow me and you post art, regardless of frequency or perceived quality, i want to be mutuals. shoot me a message or something
do i take constructive criticism? NO 🖕👹🖕 FUCK YOU!!!!!!! GET BLOCKED IDIOT!! unless you are a marginalized person who feels i have unintentionally made you uncomfortable somehow with my art or otherwise. in that case i am sorry and you do me a great favor by calling me out. OTHERWISE FUCK YOU DUMBASS IF YOU DONT LIKE MY ART GO DRAW YOUR OWN 🖕🖕🖕🖕
i don’t have a DNI list, but i am pretty left politically so you can probably imagine what’s on there.
“i hate bronies” i don’t necessarily hate you if you self identify with that label. i like to make myself off-putting to keep creeps away
i don’t hold a lot of nostalgia for old brony stuff. infact it’s quite the opposite
i like all generations of mlp including the new stuff. gen 4 is just the one i grew up with
why is my header aurora, bori and alice from the best gift ever? well that would be because i hate them like a mother hates a child. like the sun hates the moon. like sickly victorian child hates the slightest morsel of bread.
i often draw stuff about cozy glow x flurry heart. this is with the understanding that cozy glow spends about a decade turned to stone. nullifying the age gap.
i am dyslexic. i spell stuff wrong all the time and i type weird. please don’t bother correcting me. wooptydoo your brain is wired normally. sending you a medal.
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 4 months
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Vante | Kim Taehyung
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Summary: You favorite faceless artist Vante has an exhibit tonight and one of his close friends takes a special interest in you. Pairing: Artist Taehyung x Art Collector reader Word count: 2.3k a/n: This was supposed to be out for Tae's birthday and I failed miserably. But it's gonna be a two parter to make up for it so keep an eye out for that! (I also have a Jin fic but again I've failed miserably on getting it out on time) I wanted to post the first part to see how it's received and I'll decide when I'll put out a part two later. p.s barely edited because I just wanted to put it out asap lol
"You know that one artist you like is having a gallery show right?" my friend asks me. "Who? Vante?" I asks, my interest now peaked. "Who else would it be? You don't really mention any other artist to me by name. You just say 'Look at this new piece I bought' or whatever, but when it come's to him it's always 'I just found a new piece by Vante and I need to get my hands on it!' or something to that extent" she finishes, taking a sip of her mimosa. 
"Didn't you already have enough to drink last night?" I ask, reminding her about how plastered she got at the benefit ball as she downs the rest of her fifth glass this morning. "Yes, but today is a new day love. What did you expect when you invited me out to brunch?" she teases, waving down one of the waiters to bring her another one.
I roll my eyes at her and continue on with my meal. "Anyways, about the gallery show, do you know where it is? I know his events tend to be exclusive so I haven't been able to get an invite before. Is it somewhere in the city?" I ask taking a sip of my drink. "Well what if I told you I already got you an invite?" she says, smiling over the rim of her glass. 
"What do you mean you already got me an invite?" I ask in astonishment. "Are you the one who's drunk or am I? Yes I got you an invite!" she laughs at my growing excitement. "I love you so much girl thank you!" I say coming around the table and hugging her semi aggressively. "Okay okay now get off of me and order another drink for yourself if you really love me. You know I hate drinking alone" she says and waves the waiter over for me before I can protest.
~~~~
"So where's the show being held?" ask while we're waiting for the driver to pull the car around and instead of saying anything she hands me a luxe envelope with a wax seal and my name written across it in the most intricate font. "All the information you'll need is in there" she says and makes her way into the car leaving me mesmerized with it for a moment before she's calling after me to get in. 
"I still don't understand why you're so obsessed with him though, is it the whole faceless thing?" she asks once the car makes it way onto the street. "In part yes, that's definitely got me intrigued but his art alone speaks for itself. There's just so much life in it and-" "Yeah yeah I've heard you fan girl about him enough. I don't even know why I asked" she says resting her head against the window. "The alcohol is catching up to you isn't it?" I say amused by her cheeky response. "Shhh why are you talking so loud?" she whines making me chuckle and lean back in my seat, enjoying the now peaceful drive back to my home.
~~~~~
Closing my front door behind me I walk over to my living room mindlessly and sit down on the couch all while inspecting the envelop before reaching for my letter opener as to not break the seal. Once opened I'm met with a soft beige letter again with my name written in the same font. I open it and read all of the information about it and I panic for a moment seeing that the show is tonight. "Of course she would wait until last minute to give me this" I say out loud to myself with a smile on my face, taking a deep breath and making my way over to my closet. 
Once I've found an outfit that fits the theme of pale neutral colors I start getting ready to head out. Taking one last look at myself in the mirror I give myself a bit of a pep talk before leaving. "You've been to hundreds of shows like these before. There's no need to be nervous" I say, taking a deep breath and walking out before changing my mind. 
~~~~
The atmosphere is calm and quite compared to the loud colors and designs splattered on some of his paintings. The abstract faces and bodies of the people he paints a stark contrast to the people who are wandering around the gallery also donning the color pallet specified on the invite. I guess this is another way to ensure that the paintings themselves are the ones that are grabbing peoples attention rather than the attire of the various attendees.
Taking a deep breath I wander around acting as casually as I can, trying to maintain my composure and keep my excitement at bay. Seeing all of his paintings up close is a new experience that I wasn't expecting. Seeing his art online verses being surrounded by it in person feels almost like a full circle moment. He's been an artist that I've been following closely for years now so it just feel right being here. 
"Has this one caught your eye?" I hear a mans voice say from behind me, leaving me placing my hand over my heart in surprise. "My apologies, I didn't mean to frighten you" the deep baritone voice says now accompanied with owner by my side. "Oh no that's alright, I guess I just lost myself for a moment there" I say and take a glance at the man next to me. 
He looks as though he's my age or a few years older with strong masculine features but still having a few soft ones to make him even most interesting to look at leaving me at a loss for words. Not so much as being nervous but more as seeing him as being somewhat of a living piece of art that somehow found it's way over to my little part of the world. 
"You still haven't answered my question" he says playfully, turning to face me now. "I'm sorry?" I reply, embarrassed from being caught staring at him for too long. "The painting?" he questions nodding towards the piece in front of us. "Oh! Yes it's gorgeous! It's one that I haven't seen before and it just kind of pulled me in as soon as I laid eye on it" I say turning my attention back towards it.
"I love how he's steered clear of using a traditional canvas and has used glass instead. His usual pieces are usually full of color and chaos but I love how this one is almost stripped down but still has so much life and movement in it. It's almost as if you can see him painting it on the other side" I say tilting my head a bit and taking in the details a bit more. 
"You see these little bumps right here and how they're almost a bit more textured than the rest, there are a few of those spots throughout it as well" he says leaning in a bit closer to point out a corner of it so I can see it more clearly. "Would you like to know the story behind this painting?" he asks and I eagerly nod, waiting with bated breath.
"So, he had been feeling a bit restless while he had been cleaning up his studio a bit and he had been washing his brushes and so he didn't really have much of anything to paint with and he had finally figured out what he wanted to paint of this sheet of glass in front of us today. So instead of waiting patiently for his proper tools to be back into commission he took a stale baguette from his kitchen, ripped it in half and used that as his brush instead" he chuckles and I can't help but laugh right along with him, taking note of his adorable laugh and boxy smile.
"That certainly sounds like something he might do but if you don't mind me asking, how did you find that out?" I ask, interested as to what this man's relation might be to Vante.
"Oh, I guess I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Taehyung, I work closely with Vante and help out in any way that I can to make these shows run smoothly. I'm also full of fun facts about all of the pieces in here so please don't hesitate to ask me anything" he says while motioning around to the rest of the gallery. 
"Oh, I'm y/n, it's very nice to meet you!" I say and take his outstretched in greeting and he surprises me by kissing the back of my hand. "Likewise" he says with his breath still fanning against my skin. It sends a slight shiver up my spine at that, paired with the dark brown eyes of his that I find myself entranced with.
"Are you an art collector yourself?" he asks, walking with me to see all the rest of the pieces in the various exhibits. "I'm more of a beginner when it comes to collecting art and curating a collection but I do know that I always try to get my hands on any Vante piece I come across. I've been following his career for almost 6 years and I can't help but fall in love everything he creates" I gush while taking a closer look at another piece. 
"You really are a true fan of his" he replies, gazing at me with admiration while my attention is pulled to a sculpture close by. "I mean I guess you could say that" I reply, getting shy at how excited I've been. It's as though I've reverted to having a childlike wonder when brought to a candy store for the first time.
"There's no need to be embarrassed, I like seeing how passionate you are about art. It reminds me of how Vante used to be when he first started out" he says and walks over to another piece with almost a melancholy smile. "Used to be?" I question trailing after him. 
"He's been going through a bit of a slump lately and thought a show like this would bring him some sort of inspiration and motivation to continue and hopefully appreciate how far he's come" he says, glancing over at me. "Do you think it has? Is he here right now?" I ask, taking a glance around the room.
"Yes he's here and trust me, this show has done wonders for his creativity" he says smiling down at me before taking a glance around the room. I try to follow his line of sight to see if they land on anyone in particular but unfortunately he seems to catch me in the act. "You're quite the curious one now aren't you?" he chuckles, turning his attention back to me. 
"Why do you say that?" I ask, feigning innocence. "You're trying to find Vante aren't you?" he says with a knowing smile. "Can you blame me? This mystery behind who he is and even his age are driving me crazy" I laugh and he laughs right along with me. 
"Why don't you take a wild guess as to who he might be" he says and watches me as I take a gander around the gallery. "Mmmm, how about him" I ask, pointing at a man in his late 40s with a stocky build that is clearly wearing a toupee. "Very funny" he laughs and shakes his head. 
"What? I'm taking a shot in the dark here" I say trying to stop myself from laughing again. "Well how about him?" I ask pointing to a younger man that seems to be in his early 20s dressed in a more casual but clean outfit, just barely matching the dress code. "That's a good guess but no that's not him. If you ask me it looks as though he's been dragged here by his mother" he points out a middle aged woman dragging him along so he won't wander off. 
"Good point" I chuckle looking over at him as he continues to scan the gallery right along with me, never staying on one person for more than a few moments. "You probably wouldn't even tell me if I did guess right huh?" I say, seeing a devious smile flash across his face. "Nope" he says and walks over to another piece. 
"Why even suggest the guessing game if you wouldn't tell me the answer?" I ask and start checking out what he's brought us over to. "Because I liked watching you guess" he says glancing over at me and I frown at him playfully. "Hey in exchange for not telling you who Vante is, why don't I show you the pieces that didn't make it into the show?" he suggests and starts walking towards a door thats labeled 'Employees Only'. 
"Really? Are you sure this isn't against the rules or something?" I asks looking around to see if anyone is watching us, which thankfully no one is. "Of course it is. But don't worry, I'm famous for talking myself out of trouble, or into trouble depending on the situation" he says with a wink while holding the door open for me.
I take one last look around and see that again no one is paying us any mind. "After you my lady" he says and motions for me to walk in...
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lovethatmakingcoffee · 4 months
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So!
how many more content creators are going to be accused of being called a pedophile with no hard evidence, a police warrant, anything physical and it's by an anonymous tweet from some stranger online who would rather tell social media than I don't know... HAVE THEM GET ARRESTED BY THE POLICE?!
How many more creators, huh?! How many?! How many more YouTubers, twitch streamers, singers, animators, artists?! How many of you are gonna jump on them???? And it's so easy if it's a guy, right? So easy! And no matter how they react, whether it's calm and calculated, shutting down their channel as a whole, or answering immediately yet obviously angry about it- they are always ALWAYS GUILTY. what happened to innocent until proven guilty? And eo is this person? That they are willing to fan the flames and accuse someone of something so terrible online??? Who are u?????
Why do this now? Why do it how at the HEIGHT of Forever's popularity? Why not do it before so he was never on the qsmp or even long before that? Or in the middle at all???? Why now? That is my question? If this is all true, why now? And why use social media? Why not go to the police if he really did a crime? You are accusing someone of a very terrible thing. Why not do it properly instead of searching for Internet clout? What're we supposed to do? The only thing we can, huh? Cancel. Because that's what u want. Is to cancel him. When he was obviously so loved by the masses yesterday. When he had all those cruise pic photos showing how good his life was. Yeah, I don't think u want him arrested or lynched. No, u want to cancel him. Making me wonder if there was ever a real çrime.
Which I wonder quite often with these cases.
And GUYS. HEADS UP! You know whose next? Hm? It'll probably be Wilbur, probably being said that he approached some underage girl on tour or whatever. Or maybe it'll be quackity or hell, even Philza! Oh, Etoiles got cancelled not so long ago, let's cancel him again! Oh what about Bagerha or Cellibit? Let's throw Charlie into the mix. Ironmouse will be hard to cancel cause she's been locked inside of her room all her life and has a very dedicated fanbase, but I'm sure you bastards will find something.
So mhm, everyone is nexted because antis have proven it to be so easy to get rid of someone they don't like. Gone the next day. All of them are suspectable to it. Cause u know why? Cause they are stupid humans who have said stupid shit! And you will just take anything they said and did and run with it!!! Every time! So it's only a matter of time until someone new gets targeted. And depending on how tough skinned they are, they will disappear in a matter of seconds.
Let's just throw all of qsmp away while we're at it! No more eggs, no more community, blah blah blah! Something problematic will happen and you all will jump on it and say 'oh, I never liked them anyway'. Which is such a lie! Such bullshit, u are all bullshitters.
And I know for a fact that y'all aren't saints. We have all said disgusting jokes. Race, lgbt, whatever! We've all done it- don't lie! Here, I'll go first. I joked about a school shooting the other day with my friends. There, cancel me. I gave you the ammunition, now take your fucking shot.
This happens every god damn time someone u enjoy gets popular too fast. They get called a pedo, or a racist, or a transphobe or anything easy to spark the mob. I have seen it time and time again with creators running away because theyve been chased off their respective platforms. I saw an artists make the most beautiful art ever, get accused of being a pedo by one person, everyone joined in for some reason and chased her away. I will never not be bitter about that. I HATE ALL OF YOU WHO DID SUCH A THING AND IF I EVER GOT MY HANDS ON YOU I SWEAR TO GOD. But I am sick of people 'finding' or bringing shit to light or whatever and then just post it online! Like fuck! If he really did a crime! Arrest him! But he didn't, did he? Cause that's the fucking game we are playing rn.
Such hypocrites, it's fascinating. Literally yesterday you were kissing this mans feet and exhaling him, but one anon person saw that and chose violence. And you just.... changed your minds???? Like that? Like a switch of a button? Crazy, actually crazy, and childish.
How come everyone flips and flops so easily on the internet??? How is it so easy for you????? And how can u other supposed fans just accept it so easily??? I will never understand and I will bite and claw at all of you. You all loved him 24 hours ago and now with the bare minimum of evidence you flip? You all would be terrible on jury duty. I hope none of you ever get on jury duty.
Anyway, I'll probably get a ton of backlash from this post and delete it later, waking up in the morning with tons of hate. But I don't care. Prove him guilty. Get the hard evidence that he is a pedo and I will believe it when I see it. Have him be in damn cuffs. Get the mugshot. If that is at all true! But I'm not putting my life and art on pause for conveniently timed discourse.
Maybe I'll delete this post tomorrow. But now I'm fuming at all of you.
And yeah, as for me, I had a shit disgusting last year, qsmp and especially forever was one of the few things that got me out of it and calmed me down. And you guys are going to be talking about how wrong and problematic the things he said that was (what was it?) 8 years ago!!! Then guess what, I love a very problematically spoken parent that would make all of you quake and vomit the moment she opened her mouth. But also, that woman saved me from being homeless. For giving me a place to stay after being DEPORTED. So, if u need a little kindergarten lesson today, internet, is that people will say all sorts of horrible cancelable shit, but it's what they actually do, that really matters.
Goodnight.
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candyredappledragon · 4 months
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h-hi! the name is kieran. nice to meet you! ive been here for a bit and uhm.... sadly figuring out how to use this site! ( kind of afraid of interacting with others especially but im trying my best to not be easily scared ! ) i am not familiar with technology and or online things/words so please be patient with me. i know there are other kierans here too and honestly theyre pretty cool! ....d-dont tell them i said that. im not really a battler so if you are trying to look for one then im sorry to say that you will be disappointed but you can ask the others though. really sorry
..uh thank you for checking my blog— furret youre on my facEXSFDGCVHH
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🍎 Please no genuine anon hate, nsfw, or anything really bad. ( You can be mean to Kieran! ) Pelipper mail is okay ( but malice is off for now ). Sapient Pokemon or the likes of interacting are fine too, Kieran is too much of a goofball to notice it. Please don't give him Pokemon the thought is appreciated but if you do they'll turn into stickers lol.
Please don't be weird. I'm serious. As well PLEASE be patient with me and not be pushy. I'm trying my best!
This Kieran is in AU as to what happens if Florian doesn't lie to him about Ogerpon and whatnot! Kieran still doesn't get Ogerpon and is fine with it ( kind of, as in this made him feel inferior to having friends and will always be chosen over by other people. ) His way of thinking is that maybe he should try to be nice and kind to others so that will help him get friends as he sees Florian do this the same to others. ( The only thing Kieran thinks he's not good at is having a funny personality. He is very awkward in person. ) Blueberry Academy was hard on him as he was almost practically as ignored and students tend to forget he is the champion because of his cowardly personality. Florian took over later as champion. Okay there.
(By the way this is a summary please don't hurt me. 💔)
Plus I will try to draw for asks but they won't be the best but surely will motivate me to draw! If there are no asks then I'll just draw daily things with Kieran so it's a win-win for me!
💥 This Kieran doesn't like to get involved with stuff so feel free to drag him into antics! He isn't the one to approach people either so if you are wondering why I don't start convos with other blogs with asks that's why. ( I'm shy too. ) He's a bit of a coward online and in person but he won't shy away trying to be friends with others.
🍎 Posts are tagged to make things easier! Feel free to block one of them to make your experience smooth!
Art related: art tag , art reply , daily Kieran art
Text related: text reply/reply text , text ask , text post , ooc post , reply reblog
Other: long post
Anything you want to be tagged? Please let me know! :)
"Can we use your art?" Feel free to use the art or whatever! Don't need to credit and I prefer not to be credited. You can edit it too! Idgaf just no bigotry. :,] "What do we call you and do you have pronouns?" Uhm, you can call me Eight or any other version of the number 8 itself. [ Ex: Ocho, Hachi, Acht, etc ]. No pronouns! Refer me to by name or just call me mod or some other third thing lol. "What art program do you use?" Clip Studio Paint! "Are you okay with collabs?" Of course! Please feel free to message me anytime. :] "What time do you post art/responses?" Uhm....... anytime to be honest? My sleep schedule is ABYSMAL. I am very much online unless I'm busy doing comp. "Are replies time sensitive when interacting with this blog?" Nope! Take your time with your replies. I am pretty chill and everyone is pretty busy with real life. Fair warning I'm a ditz. :( "Why did you make this blog?" To draw Kieran a thousand times over until I'm dead lol. ( Even if it isn't posted on this blog!) And world build my stupid au. :u I'm just currently on a small burnout on drawing. I'm sorry. :c
"Is this a sideblog?" Yeah, you are never going to find out my main!! It's very cringe ( it has different media art ). I will interact with my other sideblog with thoughts and reactions at times. [ if you are curious @/hahahasquib ]
"Do you like Kieran?" No. ( Yes. A normal amount. )
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mins-fins · 2 months
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dal segno.
&&. you're in a car with a beautiful boy, but he's unfortunately not yours anymore.
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pairing: xiao dejun x m!reader
genre: angst
warnings: implied sexual content, kind of toxic relationship, they are both so incredibly pathetic
word count: 1.2k
notes: hello this is a voiceless isa reporting, i am suffering with the most horrible sickness to ever be bestowed upon me (the common cold) and i was originally supposed to post this yesterday but i fell asleep in the middle of my writing process so yeah 👍 also i have a class in like an hour so i just wanna publish this now and be done with it 😿
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you're asleep for a while.
sleeping in a car has never truly been your thing, ever since you were a kid, you could never ever fall asleep in a car even after how tired you were. the fact that you were able to doze off, even with the clear tiredness you exhibited, was odd.
you wonder what kind of change was in the air caused for you to finally doze off in the car..
when you wake up, it is not morning, which you honestly expect because you had only fallen asleep for a few minutes, you can tell because guanheng is still inside, chatting up with his friends or whatever.
if guanheng is still inside, that means the one person you do not want to see right now is still right beside you in the drivers seat.
dejun doesn't seem to register that you're now awake, his eyes closed as he rubs his temples, clearly stressed about something. it isn't until you shuffle in your seat, rubbing your eyes that he finally seems to acknowledge your presence, almost startled by how quiet you'd been.
"holy shit you scared me".
he places a hand on his chest, and you can tell he was genuinely surprised by your sudden awakening because he glances at you then glances away, very interested in the window it seems.
"sorry" you whisper. you feel as if you could cut the air in the car with a knife considering how thick it seems. "hi".
why do you say hi? why do you choose to greet him? you two know each other, you know each other very well, much more than you ever thought you'd know each other.
dejun also registers the awkwardness in the air, the two of you itch to escape the situation, but you both also don't want to be the first to leave. he gives a polite smile, finally staring directly at you. "hi" he greets back.
you have the urge to itch your hand, feeling insanely uncomfortable. a small sigh escapes your lips, and you make an effort to look down at the floor of the car instead. "heng still in there?"
dejun is clearly upset at how you changed the topic, but what else were you two supposed to do? greet each other a couple more times? it's all basically come to shit now. "yeah.. he practically knows everybody in that household, it's crazy".
he talks like he doesn't care much, you chalk it up to him being tired, forced to drive home his friend who has a million acquaintances, not to mention he's sitting right beside his ex boyfriend, the same ex boyfriend whose heart he broke in the same car no more than a few weeks ago.
he did it in an almost heartless way as well, he seemed to have no regard for you, the tears streaming down your cheeks must've seemed pathetic to him, the way you tried to get him to change his mind must've completely altered his opinion on you by then.
it's understandable why the two of you are so awkward, why there are no jokes between you, why instead of feeling grateful to be sitting beside such a pretty boy, your stomach curls in an uncomfortable way.
you glance over at him for a moment, watching as he picks his nails, even with the heartbreak he put you through, you can't deny how absolutely striking he is. dejun possesses a kind of beauty you don't think another person could ever display as well as he does.
you hate that he's so beautiful, a literal work of art, but was still the very one responsible for the days you spent feeling as if you weren't enough. he didn't even try to give you a good explanation for breaking off your seemingly bulletproof relationship, just said some bullshit like "we weren't working together y/n".
and yeah, your mad, you have every right to be mad.
it was never supposed to be more than a friday night hookup, nothing more than a stupid meetup orchestrated by a mutual friend of yours, you two should've never crossed over into having an actual relationship, because your demise was very expected.
"i don't know what you want from me".
"i don't want anything from you.." anymore, is what you want to add, but in fear of sounding even more pathetic than you look, you shut your mouth, crossing your arms. "there's nothing more to say, we're over and that's fine, i've gotten over it".
"y/n—"
"dejun" you don't want to hear him speak any more, because the longer he does the more you'll want to break down and cry. "you made your choice and i respect it, i don't want anything from you".
dejun looks hurt by your words, as if he's not the one who decided to break up with you. he's such an idiot, a beautiful, pathetic idiot. he slumps in his seat, as if you just delivered a punch straight to his gut.
you stop looking at him at this point, because you aren't going to be able to resist the urge to kiss him if you continue staring at his face. another wave of silence spreads between you two, and you want to leave so bad, but you can't, because then you'd have to deal with guanheng's fucking interrogations.
you hear dejun unbuckling his seatbelt beside you, at least he's leaving, it'll make everything just a little more bearable. you clear your throat, pretending the prior conversation didn't happen. "could you tell guanheng to make sure he gets back my copy of dracula from yangyang?"
dejun hums, but sighs. "y/n".
you wish you listened to your heart, but your mind was screaming at you to fucking look at him!
so you did, and you almost collapse right onto the floor. he's staring at you with such bewitched, lovestruck eyes, it's as if nothing bad ever happened between you two, as if you were still happy and in love with no issues whatsoever.
"stop doubting yourself.." he whispers, then he presses his lips to yours, it's as impulsive as it is stupid, because dejun is going to regret this the next day, you know he will.
you hate that you kiss him back, you hate how even though he broke your heart in this very place and left you crying in your bed. you should be ashamed of how easily you fall into his hands, you're constantly thinking optimistically, as if he won't just up and abandon you again.
when he separates from you, you almost want to pull him back, your hand fiddling with his shirt collar.
but for once, you listen to your head.
"i love you" he gives a sad smile, letting go of you and exiting the car.
you just sit there, face warm as you try to register what just happened. you watch dejun walk away, as you've done thousands of times before, you still don't feel any better, but the uncomfortable curl in your stomach has subsided for now.
if you just pretend that everything is all going to he okay, maybe it will!
oh xiao dejun, always breaking your heart and leaving you to pick up the pieces afterward.
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