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still-single · 10 months

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Records I Am Glad to Have Found in 2023: Part 1

Instead of rufflin' whatever (feather) maybe it's better that there's just a place where I can tell you that my life is better for having found these records and having them within reach. Maybe you might wanna reach for them as well. Up to you! Maybe feel fortunate that I want to engage with Tumblr at all, but the 16 or so accounts who said (anonymously) that they miss my review content may get a kick out of all this, and see where my head's at now.

New records, not-new records, things I bought, things that were sent to me, things I bartered for. Fair play.

First up, this Beau Wanzer record that I wrote up a while back. I feel exactly the same about it. It's new as of January and there aren't many releases out there like it at the moment. Undead, shufflin' Beau hours. One of my favorite DJs and electronic musicians in Chicago, he really does not seem to walk any path other than his own.

Al B. Sure! - In Effect Mode LP (Uptown/Warner Bros., 1988)

Growing up in my early teens, two songs from Al B. Sure!'s debut album were more or less inescapable: the masterful slow jam "Nite and Day," and the more uptempo quasi-diss track "Off On Your Own (Girl)." I never owned the record (why would I, this always seemed like a "why buy the cow" situation), and it never seemed to turn up used, something I better understand now.

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This thing is great! It's short, mindful of our time and Al's. Side 1 contains four slow jams (the Nite! side), kicking off with the classic "Nite and Day" (so much rooftop glare and World Trade Center fixation in the vid) and cascading down into the whisper/falsetto/snap percussion ballad "Oooh This Love Is So" (kinda like an older brother NKOTB slow jam, really well arranged, FM synths cresting over top with some tasteful guitar buried underneath). His take on Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly" is doctor's office soft, but works where the Fugees' take doesn't, as Al seems to know there's no improving on the original, and he's lucky just to put it in his framework. "Naturally Mine" is like the shadowy flipside to the majesty of the opener, and doesn't come close, but also doesn't need to; the Teddy Riley guitar work does a lot on its own.

Side 2 (the Day! side) turns on the lights for some more uptempo New Jack Swing template jams. Opener "Rescue Me" sounds like two songs that were somehow merged into one, but that may just be the tonal difference between the intro and verse structure.

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"Off On Your Own (Girl)" is neatly, nearly perfect, with quiet, pressurized syncopation, Al's bellyache storytellin' (sits by the phone a lot, it seems), and a delivery, particularly in the chorus, which says so much more than the title states. I'm particularly enamored of his switching between judgmental sing-speak/orchestra hit stress and his bracing falsetto. On the stremf! He even throws us a Slick Rick impression in a bridge. Last two tracks seem interchangeable but that's fine; you don't serve surf after the turf, even if you're coming in hot with bass pounds.

Uptown is generally a welcome sign of quality for this time and place; from Al to Heavy D., Guy to Jodeci. Andre knew what was up. Cool cat logo too.

Honestly there are probably other Al jams worth seeking out, and of course his performance in New Jack City when he fingers Ice-T as a narc with those Bert eyebrows of his. Most people don't hit this sort of success right out of the gate, and that's the needle he threads so effortlessly here.

Ron Morelli – Heart Stopper 2xLP (L.I.E.S., 2023)

Ron was one of the first people I met when I moved to NYC in 2000, and for a while I was regularly having lunch with him, Steve Roche, Adam Paterson, and Matt Smith at the Uptown Juice Bar in lower Manhattan, when we were all working in some sort of office and/or dot-com capacity, going to ABC No Rio and the like. I'd fall in and out of that orbit for a while over the next 6-7 years, as bands formed and broke up, people worked up their DJ chops, etc. At some point Ron moved down to Philly and was grinding in a more formal club DJ capacity before coming back to NYC and starting L.I.E.S., living in the trap, and working at A-1 in the East Village. It wasn't easy, even in that orbit, to find the L.I.E.S. releases, but the quality was always there.

I fell off a bit due to life and the like, missed a lot of Ron's Hospital output (as well as a lot of later L.I.E.S., again due to life stuff; the last one I gripped from the initial run was Florian Kupfer's Lifetrax), and last I knew he had relocated to Paris. Living in Chicago has given me more of an opportunity to interface with house music as it happened, with proximity to the records and DJs in clubs, to where it started to click with me. Heart Stopper retains this same sort of focus, drilling down on the repetition and stress/release of the foundational cuts of the initial era. My fave here is "Tangled Trap of Love," a big nod to Master C & J's "Face It," but I've found myself putting this record on and letting it roll to the close more often than most I've favored this year. Didn't make it to the Podlasie Club back in May, but I did appreciate this (paywalled) interview in the First Floor Substack, the guy I remember so well playing stoically to the bozos up front, dialing down style to the horizon where it meets substance and accepting nothing less.

(Doug Mosurock)

#doug mosurock #reviews #2023 #ron morelli #al b. sure!#beau wanzer #still single #chicago #heathendisco #Youtube #Bandcamp

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launching-a-thousand-ships · 1 year

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Kurt Glee Rewatch: Theatricality

We deserved more Kurt singing in Gaga songs, just saying.

So, obvs I love Carol but I do find this scene kinda weird? She knows how difficult it was for Finn when she first started dating Burt so why didn’t she have a private convo with him first? Could’ve given him time to process. But then, that’s not entertaining TV.

Also, v small note, but when Kurt mentions the tuna crudite, Burt corrects himself to use the correct term. V subtle change from before, when he wouldn’t really bother (the Maria bonnet before lol). Just thought I’d point it out. He’s already trying...

And why does a house with 2 (and a half) bathrooms not have another room? There are more bathrooms than bedrooms lol.

Def feel bad for Finn here, prob could’ve handled it better. Also, don’t see Kurt as really crushing on Finn at this point? More just excited, trying to make things work. Also def blinded by the thought of getting to redecorate lol.

Theatricality and Funk were switched when aired so timeline is of Vocal Adrenaline is weird but... oh well.

How dare VA do Gaga when that is his identity (and yet he only got to do 2 Gaga songs, blasphemy)

This always makes me think of the story of Chris Colfer meeting Lady Gaga and saying ‘Nobody’s talented but you’ lol

Love Kurt’s reaction to the assignment. Hasn’t been this hype since Madonna.

Kinda side-tangent but oof, Finn, casual homophobia is showing.

First off, he says they’re always doing what the girls want to do?? No?? They do what Will wants. Maybe he means Madonna but a) that was Will inspired by Sue and b) that was bc the guys were being sexist asses.

I do like the idea of bringing in different types of theatricality but would be interesting to have the whole club do both kinds, maybe do Gaga one week, Kiss the next. And oof, the way Finn says ‘except for Kurt’ here bc of all the annoyance he has at the situation... yikes. Trouble ahead.

aw, Kurt and Tina allowed to be friends. Enjoy it while you can, not much time left.

Not gonna lie... not a huge fan of Kurt’s outfit? Maybe it’s the wig giving rococo vibes? Idk, fits with his usual fashion of being hella covered up, but eh. Heels are iconic tho

And damn, the way he talks back to the jocks. And how he tries to sorta backtrack, to just defending Tina. Prob less confident when it comes to just defending himself.

It was made as a big deal in s2, like Kurt wouldn’t have stood up for himself witout Blaine’s courage text but Kurt’s been calling them out all along?? Or maybe by s2 he was more beaten down and unwilling to do anything.

Also, kudos to Azimio for knowing what crepe paper is.

I cannot even with this number. I mean, we get Kurt, Santana, Mercedes, Tina(!) singing lead and freaking rocking it! Wish they got to sing together more often.

And the dance and Kurt getting to use his lower register and just. Lowkey better than numerous competition performances. I love this so much.

Wtf is this reaction to one of the best songs they’ve ever done? Esp you Matt, We know nothing about you but I expected better. Ugh, finn and puck complained about not wanting to perform gaga, fine, but you can’t even support your friends and appreciate a freaking amazing number???

And ofc when the boys perform these guys are all hella into it. Bc they support their friends and are able to appreciate a good performance. Oof.

Jeez, Tina and Kurt are going through it this ep. Why is no one else getting grief? Is it bc the other girls are cheerios? What about Rachel and Mercedes? The lack of adult supervision in this school is astounding.

This look of pure derision Kurt throws Finn... why I think the crush is practically gone at this point oof.

Kurt has spent so damn long working to accept himself, to build up some confidence to be who he is. And esp now that he has acceptance from his dad, the only opnion he cares about, ofc Kurt has no desire to ‘blend in’.

“It’s just a moist towelette!”

I mean, I was also struggling with Finn trying to wipe off make-up with a dry paper towel like dude. And Kurt prob wants to just comfortably hang out with another guy, but Finn freaks the fuck out. Back in Ballad they hung out pretty closely and Finn never said anything and legit hasn’t called Kurt out on any of it yet. Kurt had been very intense before, but here Kurt is being casual about things.

Kurt kicking the chair slays me. He learned it from Finn.

Omg this room. Like, lowkey, I’d love to have a room like that, but also.

We saw Kurt in his Mellencamp phase. We know he knows how to ‘butch’ things up if he needs to. Also, this is nothing like any of his past aesthetics and nothing we ever see again?? His style is very modern, usually more sleek and monochrome. I feel like this room was made way more extra to incite the argument cuz like. Wow. I do appreciate the privacy partition, Kurt trying so hard.

Omg this scene. How Kurt was really sincere in trying to make something finn would like. And then the turn around to sadness, embarrassment, regret. Legit a million emotions on his face.

The way Finn is shocked when Kurt starts shouting. Lowkey we don’t see Kurt shout often, normally he goes for cutting remarks etc. Kurt is def in defensive mode.

And when Finn starts using the f-slur like damn. And how Kurt barely reacts to it bc he’s used to the word being used against him (tho never before by Finn) and he prob still feels guilt about the crush and about the room oof.

Then Burt Hummel. Omg. I love how he calls Finn out like ‘you weren’t talking about the blanket, you meant it towards Kurt’ bc yes.

And Kurt jumps to Finn’s defense bc he’s used to being bullied. He’s upset it’s from Finn, but it’s not super out of the ordinary

And Burt calls Finn out like, you won’t use the n-word, the r-word, but you’re totally fine using that slur?

And how Burt brings it back bc he was the same when he was a kid. Kurt being gay prob had Burt thinking back on all the crap he’d say with his friends and he has lots of guilt over it.

And how Burt says he thought Finn was this ‘new generation of man’ and honestly, that makes me so upset that we barely see anymore Kurt and Finn friendship after this until like. Furt. And after that, even less. And they lowkey don’t give Kurt any male friends (until Elliot, which is nice but ofc he’s also gay).

After all this, and the stupid ‘predatory gay’ trope they gave Kurt earlier, it would be cool to see Kurt getting to be friends with straight guys without it being a big deal ugh. I’ll rant more in Duets tho.

I do think the last scene was when Kurt’s crush officially died. Finn was no different than every other bully he’d dealt with. At least he’s eventually able to forgive him and accept him as a brother tho.

“My balls keep falling off” “I’ve been there” this line kills me.

Kurt’s reaction to every bully: “go ahead, hit me” like boi

Also, I love the quiet ‘oh my god...’ when he sees Finn bc. Ya. Same. Love the speech, and kinda love that even tho Finn is giving this intense speech, he doesn’t clarify ‘my brother’ or ‘my friend’ bc he doesn’t care what the others think. This is just about making it right with Kurt.

And Will appears after this and... no check in with Kurt. Doesn’t go after Karofsky and Azimio bc they were about to beat a kid up. Like... dude.

This is why I rewatch omg. Kurt pets Finn’s shoulder, and when Finn does it back Kurt immediately waves him off like ‘don’t touch the costume’. Lol.

Also, how tf did Finn make this costume.

#glee #glee rewatch #Kurt Hummel #Glee Season 1 #glee theatricality

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tenaciouspostfun · 10 months

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Austen's Pride and Diary of A Madman.

Two Reviews of Two Great Shows.

By Robert M Massimi.

In a one night performance of this wonderful rendition of "Jane Austen" called "Austen's Pride" at the beautiful Carnegie Hall, it was filled with great stars both on stage and in the audience. The story for the most part remained the same, however, set to an orchestral backdrop, the actors sang and acted with script in hand. Directed magnificently by Igor Goldin, the story-line and actors, for the most part, moved graciously about the stage. The first act at one and a half hours was a tad to long, but its rapid fire second act at fifty minutes more than made up for it.

Two actors stood out tonight... Mamie Parris (Jane Austen) and Carson Elrod (Mr. Collins and Mr. Gardiner). The two can flat out act. Ms. Parris singing voice is something to witness! She is one of the best actors that I have seen in a long time! Her movements, the "business" that she give is outstanding!

While the cast is steep, Olivia Hernandez, Beth Leavel, Etai Benson, Delphi Borich and Michele Ragusa are all incredible actors and make this a musical to be seen.

Pleasurable too are the costumes that Becky Flaherty provided to us. Capturing the period piece, Flaherty's costumes were as elegant as they were insightful. In this period piece, we never left the time period that Flaherty provided us in dress.

In the choice of music Matt Perri too brings us back in time. The charming forceful vocalists belted out these incredible songs with gusto, and leaving the audience in rapture all evening.

I am not sure if this musical will come to Broadway, I think this show works better at the Park Avenue Armory, however. The big stage, the big audience area makes it a natural fit. The Armory fits this shows personality.

in capturing the spirit of "Jane Austen", "Austen's Pride" is sure to resurface somewhere, and it should. It is simply to good a show not to! I only hope that they bring back the cast, or most of it anyway because this is a classy hit!

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Diary of A Madman at The Russian Arts Theater and Studio.

At Pushkin Hall on the Upper West Side you will find an off off Broadway play that is just delightful! Gogol, who wrote "Diary of A Madman" was put forth on stage by The Russian Arts Theater and Studio.

Under the direction of Alekseyn Burago, this play captures the spirit of the book (which I also enjoyed immensely). Burago is particularly deft with showing us how the madman starts to spiral out of control. He shows us glimpses of the madman at first and then bringing his madness full force by the end of the show.

What better way to see this show in a warm, small theater that let's us sit in on this man who is running about, giving us insights into his crazy mind. The staging of this play too is warm, economical, and creative. This is what off off Broadway used to be! A person in the 80's and 90's could often find a hidden gem like this; not so much anymore.

Without a program I am at odds to tell you who from whom, but I will tell you the lead actor- the madman, turns in a performance for the ages! He is animated, deep and lite hearted all at the same time. The supporting cast too are excellent. As dogs, marionettes and various other roles, the support keeps us laughing, holding our breath and admiring the vast talents of these actors.

At two hour almost, it would have been better structured for an intermission. The theater was unbearably hot at certain points and it made it difficult to concentrate at times. An intermission would have given the audience a chance to really focus on just how insane this man became.

I look forward to visiting this theater in the future and get a chance to see some of the other great Russian writers of the past. Small, but cozy, this theater and theater company does it first rate!

Fine Art

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Robert M Massimi.

I have been writing on theater since 1982. A graduate from Manhattan College B.S. A member of Alpha Sigma Lambda, which recognizes excellence in both English and Science. I have produced 12 shows on and off Broadway. I've seen over700 shows

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the-iceni-bitch · 3 years

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The Days and Nights are Long

Pairing: clueless!Colin Shea x clueless!fem Reader

Words: ~4K

Summary: You and Colin are being idiots and it’s driving his band crazy.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (m receiving oral sex, unprotected vaginal sex, multiple orgasms, squirting), idiots in love, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: It took way longer than I had planned but here’s some more of our drunk, musical idiots in love for you hoes!!! I love them so, even though they’re morons. Tagging my Colin babes @starlightcrystalline and @wayward-blonde because I know they’ve been waiting for this.

I no longer do taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

Colin shook his head and shrugged uncomfortably as he stared at his phone, wracking his brain to think of what exactly he should say to you.

“For fuck’s sake, Shea, just ask her to come up.” Matt looked exasperated, twirling his stick through his fingers as he rolled his eyes when Colin scowled at him.

He’d been moping for the past two weeks, ever since the two of you had slept together. All of his bandmates were getting sick of it, the man was the biggest pouty baby on the face of the planet. If they had to listen to him sing Everybody Hurts one more time they were going to kill him.

So they’d come up with a little plan to get him out of his funk, lining up a gig that would really lend itself better to a female vocalist and feigning innocence when Colin pointed that out. They had really enjoyed hanging out with you on that exceptionally hot evening, and if having you join them again was the only way to get their boy out of his funk, even better. He had actually smiled before pulling his phone out, but then he realized he had no idea what he should say.

The two of you had still been cordial whenever you ran into each other, but there was definitely a strain to your interactions now. No matter how much you both told each other it wasn’t awkward, it was definitely awkward. It was also weird that he was pretty sure you hadn’t come home after 1 AM at all in the last two weeks, and you usually at least spent your weekend nights at some other asshole’s apartment. Not that he’d had any visitors either, but he didn’t want to explore that too much.

He was still staring at his phone screen and trying to come up when some nonchalant greeting that would entice you to come sing with them when the phone was suddenly plucked out of his hand by an exasperated looking Keith, who ignored his spluttering as he typed a quick message before tossing the phone back to him.

“You’re thinking about this too hard.” The bassist said, setting to tuning his instrument and chuckling at the indignant look on Colin’s face.

Colin was about to give a snarky reply when he felt his phone buzz and looked down to see a text from you, grinning when he saw you saying you’d be right up. With an exclamation point! He didn’t even notice the pleased grins his bandmates were giving each other as they watched him start to tune his guitar, plucking a happy little tune and humming to himself.

They were all expecting you to come through the main door from the stairs, so when you shouted hello from behind them after climbing up your fire escape, you were greeted with the sight of five grown men almost jumping out of their skins before turning to greet you.

That grin on your face was enough to make Colin melt, all the awkwardness that had been lingering between you disappearing in an instant when you met each other’s eyes.

“Alright boys!” You took the mic Brad handed you with a warm smile, rolling it in one hand as you trailed the cord through your fingers. “You said you needed my help with something Col, what’s up?”

“Right, these idiots lined up a gig for us without consulting me first.” They all avoided his halfhearted glare with doe eyed innocence, focusing on their instruments. “And, well, the set list isn’t really in my range.”

“Lemme see.” You took the sheet of paper from his hand and scanned it quickly. “That’s a whole lot of girl rock.”

“Yeah, like I said, Ann Wilson and I aren’t really in the same register.” Fuck, it was nice to be able to talk to you again.

“Why don’t you just modulate it, then?” You mumbled absentmindedly.

He gaped like a fish at that question. He honestly hadn’t even thought about it, and even if he had, he wasn’t expecting you to know about modulation.

“If we modulate for him, none of us can hit the harmonies.” Craig piped up from behind the keyboards, and he could have kissed him.

“That right?” You teased, shooting a wicked smirk around at them. “You boys sure you didn’t just miss me?”

Colin tried not to sound too hysterical when he let out a laugh, missing the indulgent eye rolls his band mates were giving behind your backs.

“What do you think, we booked a gig where I can’t sing any of the songs on purpose just so we could hang out again?” Good thing he was pretty, the man was clueless.

“No, you’re not that clever, Col.” He made a mock wounded gesture and you grinned at him, looking over the set list some more. “What kind of gig is this anyway?”

“Yeah, Craig, you never told us what the actual gig was.” Colin and the rest of the band gave the keyboardist a variety of inquisitive stares.

“Uh, it’s a bachelorette party.” He mumbled, avoiding making eye contact with his bandmates when they started groaning.

“Fuck, Craig! I do not want to get felt up by a bunch of drunk, horny women!” Colin threw a balled up sheet of music at you when you started laughing.

“That seems right up your alley, Shea.” You teased, dodging when he threw a pillow from the couch at you. “You don’t want to pick up some rowdy bridesmaid?”

“No, they’re scary aggressive.” He shuddered when he thought about the last bachelorette party they had done, they’d practically ripped the band’s clothes off before they could get out of there.

“Aww, well I’ll be there to shield you this time, sweetie.” You winked at him and moved a little closer to everyone. “Let’s practice, boys. Don’t want to give those girls cause to complain.”

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It was the day of the gig, and you and Colin had decided to drive together to streamline things. He was waiting in your living room and tapping his foot nervously as he waited for you to finish getting ready, anxious about what actually performing with you would be like.

“Y/N, we need to go!” He never thought you would be the type to take forever getting ready.

“Yeah, I know!” You strolled out to the living room with a grin on your face and he had to swallow a groan. “How do I look?”

“Good, really good.” The way he was looking at you made your grin grow even wider.

The outfit wasn’t even that special, just a denim mini skirt and a tight v-neck tee with a leather jacket. Oh, and thigh high leather boots. It was definitely the boots he was staring at, his eyes trained on the few inches of bare skin between the top of the boots and the hem of your skirt. You gave him a couple minutes to just stare at you before rolling your eyes and strolling towards your front door, grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him after you.

“C’mon Shea, we don’t wanna be late.” You scolded, shoving his amp into his hand and slinging his guitar case over your shoulder before heading down the stairs.

He had trouble focusing on the road as he drove you to the bar the party was going to be at, all he wanted to do was memorize the way you looked in that outfit. It was like someone told you exactly what to wear to drive him crazy. Maybe bringing you into this gig hadn’t been the best idea, because all he wanted to do right now was pull over and let you ride him while you weren’t wearing anything except for those boots and that jacket, and maybe whatever lingerie you had on under that outfit.

“Colin, you’re going to miss the turn.” Your voice snapped him out of his little daydream, and he cursed as he took the turn towards the bar a little faster than he would have liked.

“Sorry, just got a little distracted.” He mumbled, slowing down as he turned into the alley behind the bar and put the car in park behind Matt’s van.

The rest of the band was already unloading, waving at you two as Colin shut off his vehicle and you stepped out. You actually gave Craig and Keith little side hugs before you started helping with the unloading, he hadn’t realized you guys had gotten that close over the past week, and for some reason it made him smile.

“How’s it going man?” He didn’t know how he felt about the look Matt was giving him as he helped carry the bass drum inside, it felt suggestive of something. “Y/N seems excited to be here.”

“Yeah, I thought she might be nervous about performing but she’s handling everything like a pro.” He watched you laugh at something Brad said as you worked on connecting your mic. “Maybe we should make her an official member.”

“Whatever you say, man.” Matt just shrugged, laughing when Colin rounded on him and started spluttering.

“I was joking! We can’t just ask Y/N to be in the band!” Could they? Having you around had been a lot of fun, and the band dynamic had helped alleviate some of the tension that had been growing between you two. But seeing you tonight looking like you did and knowing that you were gonna have to have some on stage chemistry to make this work was making him think twice about things. You got a little intense during rehearsals, and the added pressure of being on stage might make him combust if you kicked it up at all.

Matt shook his head at him and set to assembling his kit while the rest of the band started tuning and connecting their instruments. You just sat on a stool and sipped some water, running through a couple vocal exercises absentmindedly as you scrolled through your phone. It only took a couple of minutes for everyone to finish setting up and then it was mic checks all around.

Everything sounded good and balanced after a couple adjustments and the sound guys gave you the thumbs up to start warming up. Colin couldn’t stop watching you. You were so unbelievably relaxed on stage and it was just endearing you to him even more. He thought for sure you would have been a bundle of nerves but you seemed to be right in your element, tossing him a couple of lazy grins over your shoulder as you ran through a couple of songs before the partygoers started filtering in.

The band switched to doing some instrumental ambience shit while they waited for the party to really get going, and Colin wandered over to talk to you when you took a step back from your mic.

“Still feeling ok about this?” He asked, beaming back at the soft smile you gave him.

“Yeah, I’m excited.” You bounced on your toes a little, adrenaline flooding your veins as the crowd grew. “Think I’ll get any bras thrown at me?”

“You never know with bachelorettes.” He laughed, strolling back over to his own mic so he could introduce the band.

If he thought jamming with you was special, it was nothing compared to watching you perform. You were a goddamn natural, coming alive and feeding off the crowd’s energy until you were completely lost in the music. Every time his eyes met yours you were grinning at him, and your chemistry with the rest of the band was palpable.

Not to mention, you kept drifting close to him on the stage, brushing your hand over his shoulders or leaning against him when you harmonized and it was making his knees weak. , God, he could do this with you every night, even though he was pretty sure he was going to need to sneak into the bathroom to jerk off afterwards.

The show was over too soon, the extremely drunken crowd of rowdy bachelorettes finally getting crazy enough that the band was ready to make a hasty escape. You were bouncing on your toes with residual energy as you started helping the guys pack up their instruments, grabbing Colin’s amp after he shoved his guitar in the case and you both made a run for it to his car when a wobbly woman started to try to climb on the stage.

“Colin, holy fuck that was so much fun!” You managed to make it to the alley unscathed and were giving him the most heartbreaking grin. “We’re definitely doing this again.”

“Yeah? Well you did a great fucking job.” Goddamn it, he’d missed you. “We can do whatever you want, honey.”

“Really?” You slammed the trunk closed and started to prowl closer to him. “Whatever I want?”

“That is what I said.” He could feel his voice dropping into that low register that meant he was in desperate need of some sort of release, so he really hoped he wasn’t misreading this situation. “Why? Did you want something now?”

“I think I do.” Your chest was right against his and you could feel it heaving, gazing at him through your lashes while you ran your fingers over his abs. “I stole the keys to the van.”

“And, you wanna go on a joy ride?” He breathed deep when you brushed your lips over his, winding an arm around your waist and pulling you close.

“Or, we could just fuck in the back while the rest of the guys search for these.” You pulled back a little and jingled the keys in his face, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth while he ran his hands over your hips.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea.” He smashed his lips to yours and let out a low moan, his fingers digging into your ass while the two of you stumbled towards the side door of the van.

You fumbled with the keys for a minute because you didn’t want to take your mouth off Colin for any reason, but then you were sliding the door open and the two of you were falling inside in a tangle of limbs before somehow managing to kick the door closed behind you. Trying to undress each other was a little difficult with how wrapped up you were in each other but you managed, tossing your garments away haphazardly as your tongues curled tangled together. Colin grabbed your hands when you went to remove your boots, pulling them up to his face and kissing your palms before winding your arms around his neck.

“Keep those on.” His voice was a low growl and fuck, you forgot how sexy he was.

“Well, cannot say I’m surprised you're a little kinky, Col.” You wound your fingers through his hair and yanked, purring at the groan he gave you. “I’m gonna suck that pretty dick of yours, but then I’ll give it to you nice and rough.”

“God, baby.” He wished he didn’t sound so whiny when you started kissing your way down his chest, but he hadn’t gotten any release except from his hand for the past two weeks and he really needed you to keep doing what you were doing. “I’ll take whatever you give me.”

“Yeah? Knew you were a good boy.” You winked at him when you started kissing the skin above the band of his boxer briefs before you were yanking them down his thighs and immediately licking a heavy stripe up the underside of his cock when it sprung up against his abs.

Colin had to brace a hand against the side of the van when you worked him over, spitting on his tip and watching it drip down his length before spreading it over him with your lips. You wrapped your hand around his shaft and gave him a nice, smooth stroke as you ducked down between his length to press gentle kisses over his balls while you jerked him off. He almost choked on his tongue when you wrapped your lips around his sack and tugged softly, the hum you let out sending a vibration up his spine while your thumb swiped over his swollen tip.

The sounds he was making from just a handjob were enough to soak through the thin lace of your panties, and when he shouted your name when you moved a little lower and teased your tongue over his asshole, well you almost fucking came just from that. You couldn’t believe you had stupidly waited two fucking weeks before indulging in this man again, you finally felt like yourself again. It was driving you absolutely crazy, the way his hips were wriggling underneath you spurring you on until you couldn’t take it any more.

If he thought your hand was incredible, it was nothing compared to the feel of your lips wrapped around his tip while your tongue swirled around his sensitive head. With all the women he’d slept with, he’d definitely suffered through some mediocre and downright disappointing blow jobs. But you felt like you were about to suck the soul out of him, and you’d only just started.

“Ah, Christ.” He was going to pass out if you kept going like this, your mouth was like fucking heaven. “Honey, fuck.”

You shot him a wicked look when you started bobbing your head, taking him just a little deeper each time while your tongue curled around him as much as possible. Then you opened your throat and swallowed him whole and he lost his mind.

He wrapped his hand in your hair and held your head still as he started fucking your throat, his hips bucking wildly while you choked and sputtered around him. Drool was running down your chin and soaking his thighs as you started breathing through your nose, digging your fingers into his thighs while he used you like a fuck toy. You kept your tongue pressed flat against your bottom teeth to avoid choking on it, moaning softly when you tasted the salty tang of his precum hit your tongue. His grip on your hair was growing painful, and you could tell by the way his abs were twitching that he was close.

“Wait, ah shit!” He somehow managed to gather enough self control to pull out of your mouth, groaning at the long string of saliva that kept you connected even as you bit at your swollen lips. “I’m not coming unless it’s in that pretty pussy. How do you want it?”

“Fuck me from behind, Col.”

He growled as he sat up and smashed his lips to yours, savoring the taste of himself on your tongue before flipping your over and burying his face in your hair. You let out a low moan when he slammed into you with no warning, gasping at the punishing pace he was setting and purring when he started mouthing at your neck.

The van was shaking like some sort of cliche while Colin fucked into you with abandon, his hips bouncing off your ass in an obscene display while the two of you whined and panted together. Colin was going to lose his fucking mind, two weeks with barely even talking to you and now he was finally inside you it was all he could do to not go completely feral.

“Oh god, honey.” He was practically whining against your skin when you clenched around him, sucking your ear lobe between his lips while you arched your back and purred for him. “Fuck, you’re so tight and wet. Pussy so fucking good. Tell me you’re close, I need to feel you come.”

“So close, Colin, shit!” You gasped when he hit you deep, curling your body backwards around him and reaching over your shoulder to wind your fingers through his hair and press his lips to yours. “Need that dick so bad. Feel so good when you’re inside me.”

“I know, baby, I know.” He wound one hand around your neck and the other arm around your waist, holding you close while he kissed you deeply and swallowed your wanton mewls with a deep groan. “Come for me.”

His hips ground against you and you slapped the floor of the van when you came, sobbing into his mouth and vibrating underneath him while your pussy strangled his cock. Your teeth nipped at his lips once you were finished, humming happily as he continued fucking you through your high.

“Need more, Colin.” You whimpered when he started slowing down, trying to thrust your hips back towards him as you tried to bring yourself to the edge again. “Harder, I need it.”

“Fuck, I’ll give you whatever you fucking want.” He tugged at your lips with his teeth, squeezing your neck gently and groaning at your soft whimper as you clenched around him. “Jesus Christ, you feel so fucking good.”

You couldn’t respond when he started pounding into you furiously, the way his cock was punching against your soft walls making it a little hard to breathe, never mind thinking. He was hitting every spot you needed him to with each thrust, grunting into your ear each time his hips slammed into you until he felt your breath hitch.

Every time he bottomed out you thought you were going to pass out, the tip of his cock punching against your cervix and making you see stars. It was so good, he was hitting you so deep and smooth you couldn’t believe you’d been denying yourself for so long.

Colin growled when a particularly vicious push had your entire body rising off the floor of the van, your fluttering sigh sending a shiver of pleasure through his body. One more thrust and you lost it, screaming with ecstasy as every muscle in your body vibrated and you squirted all over Colin’s thighs and the floor.

“Fuck, fuck, baby.” Colin was desperate, his rhythm completely gone as he chased his own end while you fluttered around him. “Gonna fill this pretty little pussy up until I’m leaking outta you for the next week.”

“Oh god, please.” Your eyes rolled up in your head while you let him use you, his lips tracing your jaw hungrily as you pushed your hips back to meet his. “Give it to me, Colin.”

He buried his face in your neck and let out a strangled cry when his hips stuttered, thick, warm ropes of white shooting against your soft walls until he was collapsing on top of you with a sated moan. You tangled your fingers with his above your head as your breathing regulated, his breath hot on your neck while the two of you melted into each other.

“We’re not waiting two weeks again, right?” Colin’s arms wrapped around you as he nuzzled into your hair, his lips spreading in a slow smile when he felt you purr contentedly.

“Nope. I’m definitely gonna need this to happen on the regular.” You turned a little so you could rub your nose against his. “You know, in between our other, normal escapades.”

“Right.” His heart fell a little at that, but maybe just interspersing his trysts with you with his other one night stands would help flush his crush on you out of his system.

Before he had a chance to say anything else there was a sudden pounding at the van door, snapping the two of you out of your haze with a pair of exasperated groans.

“Shea!!!” You untangled yourselves as you started to pull on your clothes. “That had better be Y/N in there! If you sad fucked some bachelorette and we have to listen to you sing stupid breakup songs for the next month I’m going to kill you!”

#natalie writes #colin shea smut #colin shea x y/n #colin shea x you #colin shea x fem!reader #colin shea x reader #colin shea #chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans character #eighteen plus #eighteen and over #do not interact if you are a minor

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teddyarabellapicker · 3 years

Text

The View From… The Top Bunk

Alex Turner x reader

Summary: You're on tour with the band and (Humbug!) Alex gets you alone on the bus while the rest of the band are out.

warnings: smut, cringey jokes from Matt, Nick, and Jamie

word count: 3.2k

-written for @indiee19 and her imagines book on wattpad, the fic is also up on her page ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of the boys shuffling around the bus and chattering woke you up. You tried to nuzzle your head back into Alex's neck, but he wasn't there. You opened your eyes, seeing that Alex wasn't squeezed into the bunk with you. You groaned and forced yourself out of the bunk, eyes adjusting to the sudden ray of light that came through the windows.

You dug into yours and Alex's bag, grabbing one of his shirts and you walked to the bathroom, rubbing your eyes to try and help wake you up. Once you got there, you went in and brushed your hair and teeth, making yourself somewhat presentable, putting the shirt on over your bra that you slept in.

You used a hair tie on your wrist to tie it up so it didn't go past your shorts. You checked yourself in the mirror one last time and then walked out, turning off the light and walking to the small lounge at the back of the bus, seeing Alex and the rest of the band sitting on the sofa.

"Ahh, so the beast has awoken and come out of its cave," Matt said, eliciting a laugh from everyone.

"Fuck off, Matt," you said, still tired and half asleep. You walked over to Alex, sitting beside him and nuzzling your head into his neck, cuddling up to him and Alex wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, and lifted you chin so that he could kiss you. You could taste the last cigarette he had before you woke and you smelled his spicy cologne that you bought him for his birthday.

"Oh, no, we better leave before they start shagging," Jamie said, making a disgust face. You and Alex both held up your middle fingers at him, Nick and Matt laughing. Alex pulled away and you nuzzled back into Alex's neck, closing your eyes.

"You alright, princess?" Alex asked, kissing the top of your head.

"Yeah, just ... just a little tired," you said and yawned immediately after making Alex 'aww' in his head. You drifted off into your own world, not paying attention to anyone or what they were saying.

All you knew was that they were talking about what songs they would play on their set list for the gig later. You heard them say something about playing 'When the sun goes down,' 'Brianstorm,' and 'Teddy Picker' but that was about all you heard.

Thirty minutes went by and then the boys got up, including Alex, making you finally open your eyes when your head fell without his shoulder holding your head up.

"Where are you guys going?" you asked, sitting up completely.

"Oh, we're going to the sound check," Alex said, scratching the back of his neck. "Do you want to come?"

"Sure, just let me get properly dressed," you said and got up and went to yours and Alex's bag.

"Okay, we'll be outside, love," Alex said, walking outside with the rest of the band.

You reached the part of the bus where your bag was, reaching in it, grabbing some denim shorts and a t-shirt, putting on some shoes and the you walked outside, walking up behind Alex and scaring him. Matt, Nick, and Jamie laughed, Alex on the other hand, did not.

"Not funny," he said.

"Oh, come on, pull the stick out of your ass, it was funny and you know it," you replied, kissing him, making him smile, no longer being slightly mad.

"Okay, you're right. It was funny, princess," he said quietly, wrapping an arm around you, pulling you closer to his side. "We ready to go?" Alex asked the band.

"Yeah, Al. Let me go get Mark," Matt said, quickly telling Mark to come on and Mark grabbed his camera. You all got in the car, just barley enough room for all six of you. You were in between Alex and Jamie, Alex's fingers intertwined with your own. Jamie glanced over to you two and jokingly rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"You two better not snog in front of me," he joked. You and Alex laughed and Alex gave you a quick peck on the lips. Jamie made an over exaggerated disgusted face when Alex peppered your face with kisses, your lips, cheeks and forehead and everyone else laughed.

Alex stopped kissing you and laid his head down on your shoulder. "I love you, princess," he whispered, placing a chaste kiss to your jaw. You rested your head on top of his and you both sat in silence as everyone else talked the entire way there.

Once the car came to a halt at the venue they were playing at, everyone got out, Alex's hands grabbing yours and intertwining his fingers with yours, always desperate to touch you, whether it was by holding hand or laying beside you, he always liked to have some sort of physical contact with you.

You all walked into the venue they were playing at and you sat backstage while they did their sound check. Every now and then during the sound check Alex would look at you and when he stopped singing, he would blow you a kiss.

Even though it was their sound check, they still sounded amazing. Mark was filming them, no doubt for another installment of 'The View From...' videos that Matt was quite fond of doing and were also very fun to film. You laughed when Alex walked over to Jamie and did what you would describe as 'guitar fucking' where Alex was standing over Jamie and played their guitars and made weird faces at each other.

You were kind of sad whenever the sound check ended but you were also happy that you could kiss Alex finally. As soon as he sat down his guitar, he kissed you, his slightly chapped lips moving against your own.

Matt tapped on Alex's shoulder. "Okay, lovebirds, that's enough," he said. You and Alex pulled apart.

"Just because you're sad and single doesn't mean that you have to project onto us, Matt," Alex laughed. You couldn't help but laugh as well, Nick and Jamie joining in.

The show didn't start for another four hours so you all decided to play some games - throw the lime down the corridor, cards, but mostly throw the lime down the corridor, that made the hours go by fast.

You hadn't realized how close the time was to when the show was supposed to begin, after a while of playing the game, Alex grabbed you and pulled you into his dressing room.

"Alex," you squealed. He pushed you against the wall and instantly started kissing you, his hands traveling up your body to fondle your breasts through the material of your shirt and bra.

"Alex, stop, you have to be on stage in a few minutes," you said, pushing him away. You immediately missed the feeling of his lips against yours, but you didn't want to be the reason that he wasn't on stage in time.

He sighed and stepped back, grabbing the clothes he was going to perform in, quickly changing all the while you were watching him. Once he finished changing he ran his fingers through his hair, styling it in the mirror. You were jealous of how incredibly good his hair always looked, jealous of how soft and shiny and smooth it was, and how it rarely ever got tangled. His hair was better than yours could ever be, but you didn't mind because he was perfect.

"Do I look good, love?" Alex asked when he noticed you starring at him, chuckling lightly.

"You always look good, Al," you replied, Alex blushed at your compliment, always being an adorable, shy boy.

"Al, come on. We have to go on stage!" Matt yelled from outside his dressing room. You and Alex walked out, hand in hand. Alex grabbed his guitar and kissed you before going up on stage with everyone else.

Just like always, their show was amazing. The way Matt played the drums that made the songs, Alex's absolutely amazing vocals as well as Matt and Nick's backing vocals and Jamie occasionally messing up the cords, but still doing amazing. You couldn't help but sing along sometimes, though your voice didn't compare to Alex's whatsoever.

Your favourite song they played that night though was Do Me A Favour, though you were confused whenever Alex laughed during the saddest part of the song, but the confusion quickly went away when the drums and guitar kicked in.

Though you enjoyed the sound check, you enjoyed the show even more, and you loved the confidence that they all radiated, acting like the coolest people in the world, because they were. You loved hearing the crowd cheer for them - and you also loved the girls yelling at Alex.

"I love you, Alex!"

"You're amazing!"

"You're a fucking amazing singer!"

"Alright, everybody, it's time for us to go. We're gonna leave you with this one," Alex said, seeming sad himself. They started playing D Is For Dangerous, and you were glad they did, it was one of your favourite songs after all.

You got so into the song that you forgot that it was their last song of the night and you were sad whenever they stopped and said goodbye to the crowd. They all walked off stage, leaving their instruments on stage for the next night when they would be performing again.

You stood up and walked over to Alex, his face immediately lighting up when he saw you, grabbing your waist, kissing your temple.

"Did you enjoy the show, princess?" he asked. You nodded and told him that you absolutely loved it and couldn't wait for tomorrow nights show, certain that it would be even better than this one.

You saw the guys talking and wondered what they were talking about. They then walked over to you and Alex.

"So, we're going to out and eat, you guys wanna come?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, or do you guys want to go back to the bus all by yourselves?" Jamie added, him and Matt laughing. You rolled your eyes and Alex looked at you, then back at the guys.

"Nah, I think we'll go," he said, grabbing your hand, walking you to his dressing room to change, the rest of the guys doing the same. Alex wore the blue button up that you'd bought him for his birthday, he wore it every chance he got, it only being special because you had bought it and not anyone else. He quickly stepped into his black jeans and tugged them up, buttoning and zipping them.

You were on your phone most of the time, responding to messages from friends and family who were asking about the show. Alex saying your name snapped you out of your daze and you looked up at him, seeing his adorable, lazy grin that he only did when he was alone with you, not wanting to show it in public in fear of breaking his 'bad boy' persona that he had.

"You're so cute," you smiled, laughing when he made a weird face at you. You wished that he showed his playful and goofy side in public, you thought that his persona wasn't truthful to who he actually was - a shy, quiet, socially awkward, playful romantic boy.

"You ready?" Alex asked, holding his hand out for you to grab. You took his hand and he helped you stand up, grabbing his bag that had the clothes he performed in and you both walked out, leaving the building entirely, seeing the guys waiting for you two.

"You guys ready?" Matt asked, leaning on the car, Nick and Jamie getting in it along with Mark in the very back, Jamie sitting where he sat on the way to the venue.

"Yeah," you said. You and Alex then got into the car, sitting in the same spots as before, you in between Alex and Jamie, Alex beside the window.

The drive was full of singing, shitty jokes, and occasionally sneaky kisses between you and Alex. Nick and Jamie ended up arguing about witch soccer team was better and it was fairly funny, Matt even joined in. You couldn't help but laugh when they tried to bring Alex into the argument, though he quickly stopped that, saying that he didn't have a say in it.

You layed your head down on Alex's shoulder for the rest of the drive, holding hands, tuning out the stupid argument going on between the rest of the boys.

The car came to a halt at a restaurant, everyone getting out and walking inside, stopping in the entryway for the band to take a picture with a fan of theirs. You all then walked over to a podium where a waitress was standing.

"How many?" they asked, getting ready to pick up some menus.

"Uh ... six," Matt said, stopping for a moment to count up all of you.

"Okay, right this way," they said, picking up six menus, leading you all to a round table where you all took your seats. The seat beside you was empty, Alex sitting on the other side. The waitress left and soon after another waiter came to take your drink orders, bringing them out not long after.

It was a few more minutes until you all had decided what you were going to order and the waiter was quick to come back and take your orders, rushing it to the kitchen.

The boys somehow got back onto their argument on soccer, their bickering amusing, it was like they were children arguing about what superhero was the best which made it all the more better.

They seemed to be too into the argument to notice that Alex was now much closer to you, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh, brushing dangerously close to your clothed clit. You quickly grabbed his hand, reminding him that you were in public. He didn't seem to care though, continuing to rub your thigh, lightly brushing against your clit through the material of your shorts. You held back a gasp and grabbed his hand, pulling it away from you.

He glared at you, grabbing your hand, kissing it. You all talked until your food arrived at the table, though that didn't stop Alex from teasing you again. Whenever the guys were looking away from you two he would whisper dirty things in your ear.

"I can't wait till we get back to the bus."

"You look so hot right now, princess."

You knew that this was either him being horny as always, or it was his gig high that he hadn't shaken off yet. Your second thought was confirmed when he went back to rubbing you thigh, never wanting to do something like this in public, whispering in your ear. "When we get back to the bus, I'm going to fuck you up." That was it, you were gone, couldn't handle his teasing any longer.

"Please, Alex," you said quietly, begging him with your eyes. "As you wish, princess," he said, taking his hand off your thigh. "Hey, guys, I think we're gonna head back to the bus, she's not feeling really well," Alex lied, you playing along.

"Oh, okay, hope you feel better, love," Matt said, drinking his beer. "Thanks, Matt," you said softly, acting as if you were actually not well. You and Alex said your goodbyes to Jamie, Nick, and Mark and then left the restaurant, rushing to get to the bus.

You were both very eagar, more than you could've ever remembered, the ten minute walk taking a little less than five when you began to hurriedly get there, pushing past people so you could get there faster.

As soon as you both reached the bus and got in, Alex pushed you against the wall, attaching his slightly chapped lips to yours, moving in sync with one another. He bit down on your bottom lip, demanding entrance and you complied, his tongue easily fighting yours into submission. He was quick to rid you of your shirt, working on getting your pants off.

Once he rid you of your pants, leaving you in your bra and panties, he grabbed the underside of your thighs, signaling for you to jump, to which you did. He carried you to your shared bunk with him. You shuffled out of the rest of your garments before crawling into the top bunk, watching as Alex took off his own clothes, crawling in and laying over you, closing the curtain.

He wasn't in the mood to tease you anymore, too far gone just like yourself. He was quick to give his thick cock a few tugs before he nestled himself between your legs, slowly pushing in, head falling down on your shoulder when he bottomed out, the feeling of your walls stretching to fit his size too much for him.

He let you adjust to his size before starting to move, going slowly, setting a pace of his own liking, though it didn't last long, he couldn't take it anymore, his need to hear you moan for him growing immensely. And it didn't take long before you were a moaning mess for him, fingers knotting in his precious hair that you loved so much.

He began to place wet kisses on your neck, one of his hands coming in between your bodies to rub vigorously on your clit, his other hand the only thing holding all of his weight off of you. You knew that it wouldn't be long until you came undone, his thrusts getting faster and faster, but at the same time sloppier and it was obvious that he wasn't very far off either.

"A-Alex, I'm so close," you whimpered, voice trailing off into a moan as Alex had delivered a particularly hard thrust, hitting the spongey spot that made you see stars.

"Come for me, princess," he said, delivering one more hard thrust, flicking your clit, sending you over the edge, your own orgasm triggering Alex's, his hips stilling, his hot release spurting inside you.

His support arm gave out and he collapsed on top of you, panting heavily.

"God, I love you," he panted, the both of you coming down from your highs. "I love you too, Al," you responded.

All of a sudden, you heard the bus door open and heard Matt yell yours and Alex's name. You heard him walk over to the bunk and opened the curtain, quickly closing it when he saw you both.

"God, Al, you could've given me a warning," Matt said, walking away. "Jamie, Nick, don't look in their bunk. Trust me, you'll regret it," you heard Matt say in the small lounge room and Nick and Jamie's laughter echoed through the bus.

"Sorry," Alex yelled, pulling out of you with a sigh, the two of you shuffling so that you both could sleep comfortably in the very small bunk. "Goodnight, princess, I love you.

"I love you too, Al."

#the last shadow puppets #alex turner arctic monkeys #alex turner smut #alex turner #alex turner x reader #smut #alex turner fanfic #fanfic #arctic monkeys #am #humbug #humbug era

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angelsndragons · 3 years

Text

*sing* it's been ~a while~

and i have been watching vm vs the nein a lot so let's talk about it. as always with me, this is a very long word vomit.

i said over on my mechanics post that the vm playbook requires urgency while the nein's playbook requires setup. here's what i mean. if the nein can make it to round 3-4 intact, that is if all of them are up, they are going to win. period. the nein simply have too many ways to steal turns from their enemies or to maximize their own effectiveness for things to go any other way.

if you want to see this in action even with a reduced roster, go watch the fire elemental fight in episode 129 and count the rounds. between caduceus' mass cure wounds and spirit guardians, caleb's slow, veth's sneak attacks, and jester's guiding bolts, the nein were able to scrape out a win thanks more to their bag of tricks than the damage output. veth only got sneak attack because of guiding bolt's secondary effects, slow kept veth safe from an opportunity attack and jester from a multi-attack, mass cure wounds gave caleb that round to cast slow, and the spirit guardians passively whittled down the enemies into KO range. the accumulated secondary effects were too much for the enemies to withstand and they fell hard. notice how everything built on one another here. that's what cockroach parties learn to do well. it was sloppier than a normal nein fight but they did it with a reduced roster AND with nearly all of their high level spell slots spent before the fight. yeah, they're fucking scary.

vm, however, is a whole different kind of scary. this team can put you down before you even know what's happening. it's harder to target the group's biggest damage dealers because you have a hulking barbarian and often an elemental up front locking down combatants. the dagger rogue can teleport and fly. oh, and give himself an extra action each round. the ranger and the gunslinger can stand back and just go to town. the freaking bear can maul you. the bard can make your life a living joke in your final moments. the cleric is a wildcard because the group is built to fight without her; if she's around, good luck because that's another round of attacks you have to take and an extra round vm can take. their DCs are ridiculous, as are their overall ACs.

but the thing to know about vm is that they have to put you down fast. they don't have the hit points for longer fights and they definitely don't have the utility for longer fights. their druid is offensively oriented, their cleric is often absent, and their bard is mostly support. he's often the only one running that bag of tricks. he can and will fuck up an opposing team given the chance and bolster his own, the problem is that he has almost no backup here. it's a giant hole that is begging to be exploited. it's an even bigger hole when that bard can only cast one spell per round.

so, going into the battle royale, the vm side had to down one member of the nein as fast as possible preferably in two rounds or fewer. it almost doesn't matter who, because if you down beau or fjord, that forces jester or fjord to spend their action or spell getting the downed member back up. if jester goes down, fjord has to do something about it. well, i say it almost doesn't matter but beau's deflect missiles makes her the worst target of the trio and yes, i'm including fjord's half-orc bounce back in that calculation. that gives you one round where the person healing isn't fucking up your team. vm's secondary objective was to monitor and control beau. her movement is nothing to compared to a hasted vax but her stunning strike is the most lethal weapon the nein brought into this fight. vm overall is not a melee group to begin with and their con saves are all garbage. vm has to find a way to keep her off their tails if they want a chance. we also know that vm's plan was to try to take out jester first so throw that objective into the mix as well.

all the nein have to do is survive the first couple rounds, monitor scanlan and pike, and get into position. that's basically it. the nein can absolutely withstand vax and percy's damage output for the first two rounds. pike and scanlan's damage output can be scary but pike in particular has to decide whether she wants to hold high level slots for healing. and she would need those higher level slots to get close to percy and vax's damage output. the nein know from experience that the support caster is where the real trouble will begin.

but before we kick things off, remember that matt specifically designed this battlefield to take turns away from the teams. the chests are an action to search and are located far out of the way in the field. the gem requires an action to activate, which basically means sacrificing your action for someone else's, and shifts between six designated points on the field. matt, who has a deep understanding of how both teams operate, decided to play on the nein's insecurities that they were at a severe item disadvantage and see if he could get them to bite. high risk, high reward. granted, this is me speculating but it does look like matt saw the fight very differently from the players and readjusted the field accordingly.

so we kick off and immediately scanlan proves why he is the top priority on the nein's list. he gets the gem, gets fjord prone on the ground, and comes within a hair's breadth of turning the fight into a five on two potential slaughter. travis brilliantly responds to these circumstances in the best of ways. see, fjord isn't the nein's utility magician for this fight; fjord's the bait. travis makes a very big spectacle of himself and fjord's predicament. and vm buys it hook, line, and sinker. ashley tries to continue with the original plan of gunning for jester only to discover that jester is who knows where.

vax, percy and scanlan? immediately take their shots at fjord. but fjord's on the ground which puts percy's awful misfire mechanic into reasonable play. so fjord gets lucky and doesn't take anywhere near the amount of damage he could have from percy. scanlan, after percy is removed from the field, decides he's better off trying to finish fjord but only hits a 3rd level thunder wave instead of a higher level one, which sam was probably saving for some counterspells or such. i don't think a higher level would have made that much of a difference but it is important to note.

more importantly, vax gets greedy. he got two good hits on fjord with his two actions, he could have left and hidden for the next turn. yes, vm has to down fjord as fast as possible. however that haste is going to be more effective over the long term if vax can keep it. but fjord's easy prey and he thinks vm can down him before jester can get over there to do anything about it. so he goes for the bonus action attack. pike eventually joins this mad dash scramble and like scanlan, she absolutely needed to throw something huge at fjord to get past his half-orc racial trait to have a prayer at downing him. but she did not because ashley seems to have been saving all her high levels for healing so fjord survives the round in honestly a very good position. vax can't target him from range with the cloud up, scanlan now has bigger problems than fjord with molly right up on him, and pike ran, taking damage and healing fjord in the process.

meanwhile, the nein's ladies are free to run and play the field as they see fit. jester has a big opening round flame strike. beau decides she can hold off on her round 2 blitz run to vm in favor of bringing molly onto the field. remember kids, never let a monk with 55ft of movement have the run of the place, it's bad for business. jester then makes a great play with her dispel magic at vax's haste. hashtag thanks, fjord. remember, kids, cockroach parties excel at taking turns and actions away from their opponents. in round 2 alone, the nein successfully remove percy from the field and remove vax's extra attack. that's both big damage dealers hobbled in one round. they also gave themselves an extra turn, adding molly onto the field. and oh boy, molly.

here we see the utility martial fighter molly could have been. sam's confused by the low damage that molly's doing his first round but the damage isn't really the point of the attacks. that brand of tethering is far more important, as are taliesin keeping an eye on which reactions will support the nein and molly's second attack wasting scanlan's reaction. counterspell is off the table for the back half of round 2-beginning of round 3, which is important if fjord wants to get the heck out of dodge.

in case it wasn't obvious earlier in the match that the nein are absolutely gunning for scanlan, round 3 begins with beau's blitz against scanlan. fjord's luck against the dominate person balances out with scanlan's save against the stun and beau missing one attack. here, vm starts to get distracted. they chose their focus fire target, fjord, but now do not, arguably cannot, follow through on it. we'll never know what could have happened had vm said to hell with beau and molly in our faces, we have to finish fjord.

vax tries to retaliate against beau but here's where the cockroach starts to come into play. molly blood curses vax, which saves beau a full sneak attack+ worth of damage. it also utterly wastes vax's turn. fjord manages to escape (and damage pike while he's at it) and regroup where it's safe. scanlan tries to dimension door but fails due to the brand. literally any other move scanlan could try on the pair of them had a better chance of success. instead, another vm turn is lost. taliesin recognizes the importance of getting beau advantage and supports her at the cost of two of his attacks missing, but not before scanlan is forced to cutting words one of them. another potential counterspell and cutting words lost. neither jester or pike contribute significantly to this round; the nein have done so much damage to pike in three rounds that she is forced to heal herself while jester chooses to dimension door herself to the gem and only a low damage roll lets it evade her.

beau takes molly's setup and gets the critical scanlan stun. he loses his full round. fjord takes the opportunity molly provided him to polymorph into a t-rex, bringing him fully back into the fight. vm is really going to have a time and a half trying to finish him now unless they can put up a big single damage attack. jester builds on beau's setup by casting flame strike, whose dex save scanlan automatically fails. he goes down. if you're the nein, this is exactly where you want pike focused, on her team and not on yours. she has access to most of the same spells that jester has and the more you pressure her to focus on her team, the better. it's not wasting her turn, precisely, but it is controlling what she can reasonably do with it.

now we come to percy versus beau. i don't want to diminish the insane good luck beau had to take only 26 points of damage from six shots because what matters here is that percy absolutely could not down beau. period. her hit points were too high and after she took almost nothing from the first two shots, it should have been clear that she was going to get her turn and she would absolutely attempt to stun and down pike and scanlan. i'm not going to monday morning quarterback this fight but i will point out that the more rolls travis has to make to maintain concentration, the greater the chance he fails and you get to hit fjord's actual hit point pool and trade fjord for scanlan. and if you can get him before he can get back into the fray, even better.

beau stuns the gnomes and drops scanlan again. her inner cockroach rears its head once more as she negates more than half the damage on vax's critical hit sneak attack. fjord-rex downs scanlan and grapples pike. the stun on pike here really helps negate that high AC of hers. after scanlan's death, it's a long slow death spiral. vax abandons the fight in the next critical round in favor of keeping the gem instead of targeting fjord. percy attacks beau once more instead of fjord due to fjord dangling pike over lava. he starts to focus on fjord only to get distracted by jester. pike goes down but vax gets caught by beau before he can get her back up. and so it goes with vm losing turn after turn after turn until finally the nein poof percy out of existence and bring molly back. a fitting end for the team who started their final boss fight with eight and came out nine.

bottom line here, the vm team played like they had way more time than they actually did. they had to commit to a target and see it dead as fast as possible. they had to control the battlefield quickly and keep it. they didn't so they couldn't. aside from building on damage dealt, they couldn't create advantages or opportunities for each other nearly as effectively as nein did. all of these factors meant that the nein did what they always do: grind their enemies under heel.

#critical role #cr meta #critical role spoilers #vm vs m9 #vox machina vs mighty nein #d&d mechanics #vox machina #mighty nein #the mighty nein #cr spoilers #my meta #long post #don't let your opponents run circles around you kids #control the battlefield or the enemy will control you #teamwork makes the dream work

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indiee19 · 3 years

Text

The View From... The Top Bunk

Alex Turner x reader

Summary: You're on tour with the band and (Humbug!) Alex gets you alone on the bus while the rest of the band are out.

warnings: smut, cringey jokes from Matt, Nick, And Jamie.

word count: 3.2k

-This part was wrote by the co-writer and my best friend, Thea, so thank you @teddyarabellapicker. the fic is also up on her page, so be sure to check her out

A/n: sorry for not uploading in a few days, I've just been writing a new story inspired by the Everything You've Come To Expect album. Also, I'm making a tag list, so lmk if you want to be added to it. Enjoy.

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑ ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

"Ahh, so the beast has awoken and come out of their cave," Matt said, eliciting a laugh from everyone.

"You alright, princess?" Alex asked, kissing the top of your head.

Thirty minutes went by and then the boys got up, including Alex, making you finally open your eyes when your head fell without his shoulder holding your head up.

"Where are you guys going?" you asked, sitting up completely.

"Oh, we're going to the sound check," Alex said, scratching the back of his neck. "Do you want to come?"

"Sure, just let me get properly dressed," you said and got up and went to yours and Alex's bag.

"Okay, we'll be outside, love,” Alex said, walking outside with the rest of the band.