#which will flood the dash. like as it should but also what about My gay people

[halftheway]

in honor of the two year anniversary of open arms, may i present: it’s not a leap of faith if you don’t trust the jump (redux)! it’s been awhile since i wrote the original & this silly oneshot being the beginning of a giant au i’ve spent two literal years on was Entirely unplanned, so i decided i wanted to rework it a little bit to be more in keeping with the rest of the series<3

#las nevadas polycule #open arms my dearly beloved. i hope yall enjoy #and i am posting this at 2am instead of a normal time bc im Hoping ppl will see it and read before theguapoduo wedding tomorrow #which will flood the dash. like as it should but also what about My gay people #anyway. read my fic boy (please)

[bookoformon]

Ether Chapter 2, Part 4. "The Waves."

Following are the instructions God gave the Prophet for something that sounds like a submarine for use in crossing the Black Sea to the Promised Land. He calls it a "dish with a tight top." [where do I get one? The Gay Pottery Barn? All that other place had was a floppy].

He warns a flood is coming and these ships, which are not to have windows or use fire are the only way to survive when the rest of the world is washed away. All the contents below are encrypted. Since there is nothing like this in all of the canon, I will jump right into those at the end of this chapter:

16 And the Lord said: Go to work and build, after the manner of abarges which ye have hitherto built. And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did go to work, and also his brethren, and built barges after the manner which they had built, according to the binstructions of the Lord. And they were small, and they were light upon the water, even like unto the lightness of a fowl upon the water.

17 And they were built after a manner that they were exceedingly tight, even that they would hold water like unto a dish; and the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the sides thereof were tight like unto a dish; and the ends thereof were peaked; and the top thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the length thereof was the length of a tree; and the door thereof, when it was shut, was tight like unto a dish.

18 And it came to pass that the brother of Jared cried unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, I have performed the work which thou hast commanded me, and I have made the barges according as thou hast directed me.

19 And behold, O Lord, in them there is no light; whither shall we steer? And also we shall perish, for in them we cannot breathe, save it is the air which is in them; therefore we shall perish.

20 And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared: Behold, thou shalt make a hole in the top, and also in the bottom; and when thou shalt suffer for air thou shalt unstop the hole and receive air. And if it be so that the water come in upon thee, behold, ye shall stop the hole, that ye may not perish in the flood.

21 And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did so, according as the Lord had commanded.

22 And he cried again unto the Lord saying: O Lord, behold I have done even as thou hast commanded me; and I have prepared the vessels for my people, and behold there is no light in them. Behold, O Lord, wilt thou suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness?

23 And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared: What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels? For behold, ye cannot have windows, for they will be dashed in pieces; neither shall ye take fire with you, for ye shall not go by the light of fire.

24 For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the bwinds have gone forth cout of my mouth, and also the drains and the floods have I sent forth.

25 And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?

The Values in Gematria are:

And the Lord said: Go to work and build, after the manner of barges which ye have hitherto built:

v. 16a: And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did go to work, and also his brethren, and built barges after the manner which they had built, according to the instructions of the Lord. Instructions refer to the Torah. The Value in Gematria is 8314, חג‎‎אד‎, the Hagad, the Haggadah.

According to Jewish practice, reading the Haggadah at the Seder table is a fulfillment of the mitzvah to each Jew to tell their children the story from the Book of Exodus about God bringing the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt, with a strong hand and an outstretched arm.

16b: And they were small, and they were light upon the water, even like unto the lightness of a fowl upon the water.

The Value in Gematria is 9198, ט‎אטח, ttah, "work from under society and build up." As Jesus said, the poor and the meek have to come first. A foul upon the water is the request God made of us to be able to see Himself reflected within us. This is how He wants this done.

Next come specifications for the Dishes. There are many kinds of Dishes named in the Torah and there are preparations specified for each. All of this is found in Terumah:

The Table 23 “Make a table of acacia wood—two cubits long, a cubit wide and a cubit and a half high.[d]  24 Overlay it with pure gold and make a gold molding around it.  25 Also make around it a rim a handbreadth[e] wide and put a gold molding on the rim.  26 Make four gold rings for the table and fasten them to the four corners, where the four legs are.  27 The rings are to be close to the rim to hold the poles used in carrying the table.  28 Make the poles of acacia wood, overlay them with gold and carry the table with them.  29 And make its plates and dishes of pure gold, as well as its pitchers and bowls for the pouring out of offerings.  30 Put the bread of the Presence on this table to be before me at all times. =the Table represents close relationships. These are the ones that provide food of the intellectual and nutritional sort, they are where the bread of life is served. The rings represent marriage to the Table and the acacia "poles" planted as seedlings early in life must be brought to the table to serve and partake, they are the dishes and pitchers of gold, which are invaluable.

A dish we travel within, about the size of a tree found in v. 17 is slightly different. The Rab suggests the holes at the top and the bottom are Keter and Malchut, which control the fire of the intellect and sovereignty over the passions. The Kabbalah says the body is like a tree with various ornamental fires that burn along its branches and the door, the Terumah, is the Mezuzhah, the Invocation, "Baruch Ha Shem, Baruch Adonai".

The preparation of dishes before they are put to use is an exhaustive process involving clean water and specific condition. Anything involving water entails Moses, or freedom from delusion. Obviously then the Prophet is discussing immersion of the Self into a Mikvah , a ritual water bath for the purposes of freedom from any attitude or belief that separates one from a pure analysis of what reflects the Self and which thoughts and passions get in the way:

v. 17a : And they were built after a manner that they were exceedingly tight, even that they would hold water like unto a dish; and the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish; The Value in Gematria is 11868, יאחוח‎, yahoo, "If God is to save, one will need to rest."

Ya= God

Hoo= Hosanna

We don't praise God during the bad times that is ridiculous. We praise Him during the good times and pray they last. That is how this works. So a real Jewish person hopes and prays and works for as many good times as possible knowing that is how they become the kind of person that is capable of knowing the God the most.

17b: and the sides thereof were tight like unto a dish; and the ends thereof were peaked; and the top thereof was tight like unto a dish; The Value in Gematria is 6379, וג‎זט‎, "And gazette." "Put your foot on the ground."

There are gazelles and gazettes. "Are you going towards the gas? The power?"

17c: and the length thereof was the length of a tree; and the door thereof, when it was shut, was tight like unto a dish. The Value in Gematria is 6931, וטגא‎ ‎‎, and taga, "A moment in a cell."

We have short lives within these bodies the prison cell called the planet earth. The Prophet says we need to grasp the power of the sea instead of a castaway. Dry land is the answer, and that means a world that is free of all delusion about its capacity to wage war and be violent.

v. 18: And it came to pass that the brother of Jared cried unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, I have performed the work which thou hast commanded me, and I have made the barges according as thou hast directed me. The Value in Gematria is 9565, טהו‎ ה‎, taho, "to wander in confusion, that's wrong.

v. 19: And behold, O Lord, in them there is no light; whither shall we steer? And also we shall perish, for in them we cannot breathe, save it is the air which is in them; therefore we shall perish. The Value in Gematria is 10726, א‎אֶפֶסז‎בו‎, apsezbo, "there is an abscess in him."

When we feel like there is no light on the outside, the Prophet says this is a matter of the fact there is no way for it to get in. Without repentance, which requires a healthy conscience the Light of Ha Shem will not enter the Self.

v. 20: And the Lord said make two holes. Everything in Judaism is done twice. It is doubled. Once is for reading comprehension, the other is for practical application. This is why we perform science experiments in high school so we learn not to take what is written in the text books for granted.

The Value in Gematria is 8470, חדזאֶפֶס‎‎, hadzapes, "Then you will grasp things."

v. 22: And he cried again unto the Lord saying: O Lord, behold I have done even as thou hast commanded me; and I have prepared the vessels for my people, and behold there is no light in them. Behold, O Lord, wilt thou suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness? The Value in Gematria is 8228, חחבב‎ ‎ , habbab, "the next young sprout."

v. 23a: And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared: What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels? For behold, ye cannot have windows, for they will be dashed in pieces; The Value in Gematria is 14574, יד‎הז‎ד‎, yad hazed, "the side hand".

= the right hand bound by the Tefillin, "the children above all" which are the Devarim. "In case we become afraid of a particular ruler that is attempting to usurp God's authority, we bind the memory of what the Torah says, God is higher than the earth, and we have the authority to destroy him". This must be done at once, for the sake of the sprouts. Children must not be enslaved, they must not see adults take slaves or oppress others.

23b: Neither shall ye take fire with you, for ye shall not go by the light of fire. The Value in Gematria is 4416, דד‎‎או‎, "dada dead." "A wandering soul will drift until it dies."

v. 24: For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the drains (tears) and the floods (despair) have I sent forth.

Whales are "ways to see through the enormity of challenges." Winds blow through the mind and end all slanderous speech and outside propaganda from our thinking (there are Four, which roughly correspond with the process of Chabad). Sans plaguey influences and delusional story telling, God can be known "as above, so below" but even still the Torah is not a self-help guide.

The real problem is the "whale of the desert" the Pharaoh. Pharaohs are problems that are as big as they look, and they need proper enemies. This is why the Law was written, to empower large numbers of people in the act of taking down tyrants and setting fire to their regimes. About this there are no possible delusions.

The Value in Gematria is 12498, יב‎ד‎טח‎ ‎, yvdtach, "your iodine." "Your heel." hey and yod, "hand and foot" persons like the Pharaoh, like Donald Trump, Dick Cheney, and every member of the Republican Party, must be fought. Especially when they are breaking the law out in the open, in public. It's way too tempting not to do something about it.

v. 25a: And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come.

The Value in Gematria is 12141, יב‎אדא, yabada, ‎"God will work." Meaning what God says will work out.

25b: Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea. The Value in Gematria is 10660, יו‎ואֶפֶס‎, yufess, "You will reset."

A reset is the full accomodation of one's Jewish identity. We would all have one if God as giving us everything we need. Very few persons even know what it is. There are no living persons who understand the entirety of the Tanakh, so when we cavil before God we don't know if we can possibly be a good enough Jew or not we don't even know what it is we are working for. To ask God about this then is asking for something about which we know very little.

The answer to all Jewish problems, especially the crisis about the discovery of one's Jewish Self is Shabbat.

Let us try an Eastern approach to the Torah and perform Gematria on the first and last lines of the Torah and see what happens:

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, 11 who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. 12 For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel."

The Values in Gematria are 12717, יבזאז‎‎‎‎, "Shame on you, Yabzaz! You will be looted."

and 9062, טאֶפֶסוב‎‎, tapesov, "a settlement."

Finally, For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel", the Number is 6981, וטחא‎, "And grind."

Grinding, the av melachah of tochen, is forbidden on Shabbat. The purpose of grinding is to break a large object into smaller pieces which can serve a new or better purpose.

="Shame on you! I will not allow this. Let us forge an Agreement. Put a stop to the grind and I will make of you a great nation."

SO until the Jewish people settle and the body of knowledge in the Tanakh is understood, hand and foot, in the mind and in the community, in the courthouse the White House, the shul, the church and the mosque, mankind is damned and doomed to do little more than repent.

God reassures us however, if we keep driving towards this mysterious state of being called Shabbat, a transgression free world, our communal and individual experiences of bliss will be finish the deal God made with Abraham for the onset of a proper human civilization on this world.

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 23: Dukeceit

I’m very aware it’s October. But I will get all these prompts done!

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 23 - At a certain age you switch bodies with your soulmate for 24 hours. (I may have changed this one slightly, too.)  

Content warnings: kidnapping mention, food/coffee mentions, homophobia mentions (though none is really seen), just so much caffeine.

The first thing Janus noticed when he woke up was that this was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Which, to be fair, was an accurate reaction, seeing as he was in the wrong room.

His initial thought was that he’d been kidnapped, but no, that couldn’t be right. It was just another bedroom, not a basement or a van or whatever kidnappers used. It was a regular, teenage looking bedroom, with clothes littering the floor and the desk, large posters haphazardly stuck at every angle on the wall, and a phone charging on the nightstand next to him. So, definitely not a kidnapping. 

When his mind finally cleared from his post-waking haze, he sighed in resignation. Apparently the universe had decided that today was the day he would switch bodies with his soulmate, on the day he had specifically set aside to study for a huge biology test that would make or break his grade in the class. Hopefully the school took pity on him and let him redo it. If they believed him, that is… he wasn’t exactly the most honest student.

Groaning, he threw the blankets off him and stumbled to the full body mirror on the door, inspecting the reflection. His soulmate was cute, he’d give him that, but it did nothing to disperse the internal confusion at seeing someone else looking back at him in the mirror. It also felt super weird to be attracted to… well, himself, at the moment, technically? He pushed a strand of white hair, dyed lighter than the rest of the black locks, out of his face and leaned forward, trying to decipher if the eye color was brown or murky green, when the door flew open and hit him in the face.

He yelped upon hitting the floor, rubbing his forehead, and glaring up at the intruder.

“Who the hell are you?” He hissed before he could stop himself, meeting the eyes of a very confused guy standing in the doorway. Blinking, he looked back into the mirror, and then back to the newcomer, wondering for a second if he was hallucinating. It took him far too long to remember the concept of twins, mentally facepalming as the other spoke.

“What do you mean, who the hell am I? Really, not one of your best pranks, Remus.”

“I’m not pranking you. I’m not Remus.”

The other merely blinked, staring at him blankly, until a look of realization crossed his face. “Oooohh! You’re his-”

“Yeah,” Janus snarked, getting back to his feet, “I am. Who are you?”

“Uhm, I’m Roman. Your- I mean, his brother. Remus’ brother. What’s your name?”

He brushed nonexistent dirt off his pajama top, an old and ripped oversized t-shirt, and responded, “Janus.”

“Janice? Huh,” Roman wrinkled his brow, casting a look behind him before stepping in and closing the door behind him, “I could have sworn Remus was gay.”

“I’m not a girl, you deflated airbag. I’m named after a Roman god, and I am very much male.”

Roman was at a loss for words, watching Janus approach Remus’ closet and look through it scrutinizingly. “He has good taste.”

“That’s what you call good taste?” The brother asked, peering over his shoulder at the chaos of ripped cloth and mesh and leather. He was frankly shocked there was any left in the closet, seeing as there was what appeared to be enough for a whole other wardrobe on the floor.

“I wouldn’t personally wear it. I’m more classy than that. But,” He picked out a weathered jean vest, adorned with pins and spikes, “Hot.”

Roman tried to hide his eye roll. “You’ll get along with him well. I came up to get you- er, Remus, but now you, I guess. For breakfast.”

Right on time, a woman’s voice carried up through the house, calling for them. Janus shrugged and followed Roman out the door, abandoning his discovery on a chair and pulling up the first hoodie from the floor. He didn’t generally like to wear oversized things, so he was surprised that the almost blanket-like garment was so comfortable. 

“Ah, took you long enough. It’s getting cold.” Janus took in the downstairs area, a small kitchen and dining room in one, leading off into a living room. It was all comfortable, the sunshine raging through the picture window on the wall closest to the table, highlighting the steam rising off the food. 

Janus stood at the bottom of the stairs as Roman took his seat opposite his parents, gesturing to the seat next to him.

“Remus, sweetie, everything okay?”

For a solid second, he forgot that he was supposed to be Remus and just stared blankly at the woman who had spoken. 

“That’s not Remus. It’s his soulmate.” Roman said absently around a bite of food.

Their mother’s expression turned to delight, standing up immediately and engulfing Janus in a hug that he didn’t return, “Oh, welcome, darling! It’s so nice to meet you! Join us for breakfast, and you can go about contacting Remus later. Sound good?”

“I guess.” He didn’t seem to have a choice either way as he was ushered to sit next to Roman, his plate pushed a little closer to him by the mom. The dad was just taking him in, chewing slowly, and everything in Janus was yelling at him to look away. But Janus was never one to shy away from a stare off, so he kept eye contact, hoping that Remus had the same glare that his own face did. He must have, since the man finally looked back down to his plate.

“What’s your name, sweetie?” Jeez, did this woman always have to use pet names? 

“Janus.” He responded simply, pulling in his first bite of food. It was good, he’d admit, but his own house never had these kinds of… family get-togethers, and to say he was uncomfortable was an understatement. 

“Janice? Huh, must be weird being in a boy’s body, yeah?” Her face clearly conveyed that it was supposed to be a joke, or maybe some fucked up icebreaker, but he was more annoyed by his name. 

“I’m actually-” He was cut off by a sharp kick to the shin, coughing slightly to stifle a curse, and turned to Roman expectantly. The glare out of the corner of his eyes was something Janus wasn’t anticipating, same with the almost imperceivable shake of his head. The message was clear. Forcing a small smile on his face, he turned back to the parents, who were still wholly focused on him. “Yeah, it’s weird for sure.” 

Usually, lies slipped off his tongue with no hesitation. He had to learn to survive, growing up as he had. But this one felt wrong, and so utterly bizarre, that it seemed to burn the roof of his mouth. If that’s what it took though, and he was very sure that Roman’s cutting him off had been to prevent outing Remus, he could take that.

The rest of the meal was filled with small talk between him and the parents, in which he learned that he wasn’t all too far from his own house, where Remus would be waking up. Even so, he didn’t recognize the neighborhood he was in. It was definitely nicer than from where he lived, though, and he doubted that Remus would know where he was either. Poor guy. 

As soon as it seemed socially accepted to leave the table, he did so, loading his dishes into the washer and dashing upstairs. It was only nine in the morning and he was exhausted, dropping onto the bed and noticing the little glow in the dark dinosaurs on the ceiling for the first time. Rather, the remains of glow in the dark dinosaurs. Remus must have taken scissors to them, separating the heads and attaching them to different bodies. He was specifically entranced by a T-Rex with a Pterodactyl head when Remus’ mother’s words flooded back into his mind, and he remembered that he should probably try to get into contact with Remus. One look at the phone on the nightstand, though, and he was getting up with a groan and padding down the hallway. 

It wasn’t hard to distinguish Roman’s room from the other doors; it was the only one with his headshot taped to the front with a star under it, his name written in bold letters across it like a Hollywood star. Janus rolled his eyes and knocked on it, walking in at Roman’s call.

“Can I use your phone?”

“Why?” Roman gave him a hard side eye from where he was splayed across his bed, a script in his hands that he was most likely trying to memorize. 

“I want to call Remus. And unless you know the password to his phone, I can’t get on it.”

“Ah. In full honesty, I don’t even want to know what the cretin has for a password.” With no further convincing, he handed Janus his unlocked phone and went back to scanning the papers, quietly muttering lines to himself while giving Janus the occasion glance. 

He typed in his own number and held the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“It’s odd hearing my own voice through the phone,” were Janus’ first words to his soulmate. The voice on the other line, his voice, gasped. 

“Oh shit! Ooooh shit! I would have called, but I couldn’t remember my own number!”

“That’s Remus for you.”

“Stop eavesdropping,” Janus snarled, taking a step away.

“If it’s loud enough to hear, is it really eavesdropping?”

Janus lowered the volume of the phone in response, flipping Roman off. “Hi, Remus, I presume.”

“I see you’ve met Roman. Pain in the ass, huh?”

“You could say that.”

“Okay, first things first. You’re hella hot.”

“I’m flattered.”

“Second, where am I?”

Janus chuckled, which sounded odd coming from vocal chords he wasn’t used to. “About twenty minutes away from your house. Did you want to meet somewhere to switch back?”

“Fuck yes. I want my teeth back.”

“Your-” Janus ran his tongue along his teeth, noticing for the first time that they felt different than what he was used to. The general shape, the curve, it was all new, and odd, and suddenly it was all he could think about. “Why the hell did you have to say that?”

Remus snickered, “Whoopsies.”

“How about Edison’s Bakery, on Westland? It’s pretty much in the middle.”

Roman gave him a thumbs up, mouthing ‘good choice’, at the same time as Remus almost squealed in glee. Apparently, he liked the place. 

“I’ll take that as a yes. In half an hour?”

“Yessss.”

“Before you hang up, what’s your phone password?” He physically recoiled at the response, earning a snort from Roman. “I’m not typing that.”

“That’s the only way you’re getting into my phone.”

“Hold on, how did you get into mine?” Remus only chuckled, and the line went dead. Janus sighed and tossed Roman his phone back, hitting him squarely in the chest. “Not much of a conversationalist, is he?”

“Remus abides to the laws of social constructs about as well as he abides to the laws of nature. That is to say, not at all.” 

“What should I wear? When I go to meet him?”

Roman looked taken aback. It made him scowl in embarrassment, rolling his eyes at the other’s face. 

“I don’t know what Remus likes to wear, dumbass. Don’t get a big head.”

“Uh, the ripped grey jeans with the patch on the thigh and Green Day shirt are his favorite. He usually wears something meshy underneath, but-”

“I’m not wearing mesh.”

“Figured.”

Like all of Remus’ clothing, Janus learned very quickly, the Green Day shirt was also full of holes. Whether his closet had been raided by moths, or it was just his aesthetic, he didn’t know. He could see why mesh would go well under it, but there was no way he would stoop to that level, so he threw on the jean vest he’d first seen and went back to Roman’s room to get approved. 

Deciding against seeing the parents again (Janus didn’t understand his instinctual hatred for them, but it was strong), he scaled the drainpipe outside Remus’ window and used his soulmate’s phone for directions to the cafe (despite the disgust he felt at typing in the password), since he still didn’t know the exact directions from this strange neighbourhood.  After deciphering the bus map, he hopped on the next one to arrive, grateful that he’d found enough spare change in Remus’ horribly unorganized wallet for bus fare. 

Surprisingly, he wasn’t nervous by the time he got to the cafe. He’d have thought his nerves would have eaten at him already, telling him to just turn around and live as Remus for the rest of his life, but they were surprisingly calm. There was just something about meeting a soulmate that didn’t mess with him. They were soulmates; they were kind of supposed to be perfect for each other. That’s the whole point. 

It didn’t take long for him to spot himself in the almost empty bakery, propped up against the large window in a way he would never stand, tracing the patterns on the ceiling with his eyes. Janus sidled up to him- himself? The concept was enough to make his head spin- and, ignoring the slightly Inception-esque nausea of looking at his own body, smirked.

“You’re getting fingerprints all over the glass.”

Remus spun to him, grinning widely, and without further adieu, grabbed his hand. Janus’ vision tunneled before going completely black. A sound like an intense air rush overwhelmed him despite the fact that there was no wind, his ears popped almost painfully, and his mouth went completely dry, but when he opened his eyes again, he was staring back at Remus. Actually Remus. In his own body and everything.

“Oh, my teeth, how I missed you,” The taller crooned, making a show of running his tongue across the outside of his teeth.

“You’re odd.” Never before had Janus been so happy to hear his voice.

“That I am,” Remus said with too wide a grin, tilting his head to the counter. “I waited for you.”

“Glad you had the decency.”

“C’mon, Jay,” He tightened his grip on Janus’ hand, who was surprisingly okay with the nickname (despite having punched people for using it before), “I love their energy drinks.”

“Their what?” Janus had been going here since he was a little kid, and he knew for a fact they didn’t have energy drinks. The overtired barista heard him though, shooting him a look of pure disdain.

“That’s what he calls it. We like to call it the Abomination unto God. I don’t know how his heart doesn’t give out from it. One pump of every flavor, five shots of espresso, top it off with black coffee.”

“Is that legal?” Janus asked incredulously.

“Technically, I just ask for how many espresso shots they can fit in a cup. She was the one to limit it to five.”

“He asked a trainee on their first day working. They filled the whole cup with espresso.”

“I was vibrating.” Remus said dreamily, as if the memory was particularly fond. Despite Janus’ protests, Remus ordered his monstrosity of a drink, pouring at least three sugar packets into the cup to his rising horror, and sat down happily. It was almost enough to make him not want his coffee anymore, watching his soulmate take a long glug of the sludge in his cup.

“So, Janus,” He said when he finally put the half empty cup back onto the table, “How did you find my family?”

Somehow, Janus could sense the underlying question, taking a sip before responding. “They’re fine. Your parents rub me the wrong way, so to speak, and Roman’s a bit of a prick, but they’re fine.” He watched as Remus tossed his cup back again, fiddling with the sleeve on his cup, “I didn’t out you, by the way.”

That was enough to dampen the mood, Remus suddenly looking sullen as he stared at his hands. He blinked rapidly, taking a shaky breath before responding with a quiet thank you.

“They think I’m a girl. So that sucks.”

“They’re homophobic as shit.”

“I figured that out. Is Roman-”

“Gay as they come.”

Janus swirled his drink in his cup, watching the coffee stain the edges. “What will happen if they find out?”

“I don’t want to think about that. Getting disowned, at best.”

They both went silent, almost in solidarity. What could you say to that?

“Do you live alone?” Remus asked out of the blue, drinking more and having the audacity to chew the sugar from the bottom of the cup. 

“My mom’s out of town for work right now.”

“Dad?”

“Never knew him.”

“Shit.”

“That about sums it up.” The two of them chuckled. 

“So…” Remus started, finishing his concoction and throwing the cup into the garbage can by the sugar station, startling the barista. “We’re soulmates.”

“What led you to that conclusion?” He deadpanned, watching Remus as he took a slow sip of his coffee. 

“Hardy har har.”

“Yes, we’re soulmates,” Janus agreed, “Must we make it complicated?”

“Eh,” The other said with a shrug, “Ride with the tide, see where it goes?”

“Works for me.” As Janus finished off the last of his coffee, he could see Remus’ hands had started to shake violently on the table, and could feel his leg bouncing up a storm underneath it.

“C’mon, get up,” Janus laughed, pulling Remus to his (somewhat unsteady) feet, “Let’s go to the park and get your energy out. Hopefully I can get you home before you crash.”

“Aww, you do care.” Remus cooed, laying his head on Janus’ shoulder as they left the shop.

“I believe that’s the point, dumbass. Now, I’ll race you to the park. Three, two, one, go!”

Remus took off at a full caffeine-induced sprint to the park just down the street as Janus continued his leisurely pace, laughing the further Remus got without realizing he wasn’t following. What had he gotten himself into?

Nothing he didn’t want, that was for sure.

#lywrites #tsshipmonth2020 #dukeceit #remus sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #sanderssides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanderssidesfanfiction #ts soulmate au #soulmate september #even though its october #soulmateseptember #sanders sides soulmate au

[lunetheaveragefan]

one day...

Hi, y’all! Sorry there’s been such a delay for Chapter 2. I’ve been super busy with school and dance and other activities and all that. Also, I decided about halfway through my original Chapter 2 that I was going to alternate between Virgil and Roman’s perspectives so I had to start a new chapter from scratch. But that means that now-Chapter 3 has already been started, so hopefully I’ll have it done by Friday this week!

A Sander Sides high school AU

Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality

Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?

Warnings: Some cursing and quick mentions of a possible fight/hospital. If you notice anything else, let me know!

Word Count: 1,919

anyway, here it is!

--------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER TWO

Roman Princeford is absolutely, completely, terribly humiliated. 

He can’t stop blushing in embarrassment, and it only makes it worse when the classes are boring and he can't stop his mind from drifting to that morning. Like now, for example. 

Stupid, stupid Roman, he chastises himself. Why didn’t you notice him there, you oblivious dumbass? 

He groans and buries his head in his hands. 

“Is something wrong, Roman?” the math teacher asks. “Do you need help?” Yes, but not the help you can give me, Roman thinks. He takes a breath and fixes a dazzling smile on. 

“No, Mrs. Perry, I’m doing fine! Thank you for your offer of assistance, however!” he exclaims in his usual lyrical way. Roman always makes an effort to seem like he’s reading off a script, especially one where there’s a heroic prince he can play. It always makes him feel better when he plays a part. Then, Roman can imagine that he is the character. The same qualities, traits, life, everything. 

He can ignore how stupid he is and pretend he’s a brave, dashing prince. The princes in stories would never have the problems Roman’s been having. 

Mrs. Perry walks off, rolling her eyes, not without fondness, and Roman turns back to his math. Shoving his mind out of fantasy, he tries to solve the problems. It seems like he’s gotten nowhere by the time the bell rings. Throwing his paper into his bag, he hurries out of the room. 

“Heya, Roman!” Patton Hart, his best friend, calls through the throng of people. Roman slows down so Patton can catch up. “How ya doing?”

“Uhh, Patton, I am a disaster!” Roman proclaims. “You’ll never guess what happened this morning!”

“Oh no! What did you do this time?” Patton asks jokingly as they enter the classroom. History is one of the few classes they have together, so they always walk from fifth period there. 

“I was telling a story, a great one, mind you, and knocked over a poor, innocent student!” Roman throws down his bag next to his seat and plops into the hard plastic chair. “I didn’t mean to, I swear. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was who I hit!” Pausing for dramatic effect, Roman finishes, “It was Virgil! I knocked over Virgil Tempest!”

Patton’s mouth forms a small ‘o’. He starts to laugh, but after seeing how embarrassed Roman is, he stops and places a hand on his shoulder. “What did he say?”

“Nothing much. Just some mumble-jumble. But now I can’t stop thinking about him! I didn’t get a single thing done in math! It’s terrible, Patton. My entire life is all going to go downhill from here! I’ll become ineligible for the play because I’m failing all my classes! I won’t be able to graduate, and then I’ll have to work.” He shudders. “That’s it! I’m done for. I’ll never accomplish anything!” He collapses back against the chair for dramatic effect. He knows he’s being very extra, but honestly, what else does anyone expect at this point? He’s Roman Princeford, after all. 

If only I were the brave, loud, daring person the whole school thinks I am.

“Woah, woah, woah there buddy!” Patton comforts. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. You aren’t going to fail high school. You just gotta tell him how you feel! Then you won’t have to worry about it anymore!”

Roman looks at Patton in shock.

“Tell him how I feel?” Patton nods, encouraging. Roman sits back up. “And make a fool of myself yet again? No thank you! He hates me, you know that! I’d be better off flunking high school! How could I look into those beautiful brown eyes in that beautiful face and tell him I had a crush on him! Impossible, I say! Impossible!” He throws out his hands, but then remembers that the exact same movement started this whole thing. Quickly, his hands fall back to his sides.

Patton chuckles. “It’s not as hard as you think, Ro-ro! You’ll do great. And I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.” Roman sighs. “Hey, why don’t you—”

“Boys in the back,” the history teacher says, shooting a look at Roman and Patton, “it’s time for class. Pay attention please.” They both nod at turn away from each other and towards the board. 

Roman doesn’t pay attention to a single word of the lecture. All he can think about is Virgil’s freckles and his eyes and his lips and his laugh, which Roman had only heard briefly while walking past him but loved nonetheless. How come I’ve never noticed that Virgil had freckles before? he wonders. Goddammit, is that boy just going to keep getting more and more amazing? 

Roman chuckles to himself, thinking, Oh my god, I’m so gay. Deciding he should probably start listening to what the teacher is saying, he shoves any and all thoughts of Virgil from his mind and fills the gaps with information about the buildup to World War 1.  

After class, Patton rushes up to him. He pulls Roman to the side of the hallway in a little nook where the row of lockers end. 

“After school, you should come with me to this coffee shop,” Patton says, a little smile on his face. Roman knows that smile. He’s up to no good. 

“Why?” His voice rises with suspicion at the end of the word. 

“My lab partner, Logan Wise, you know him, said that we should meet up to work on our project after school.” A blush rises to Patton’s cheeks causing Roman to smirk as he figures it out. 

“Someone’s got a cru-ush,” Roman teases, voice sing-songy and laughing. 

“That’s not the point,” Patton says, blushing even harder. 

“Fine.” Roman lowers his voice to a whisper. “But you can’t hide it from me. I’m the love whisperer, remember?” Throughout their years of high school, Roman had been responsible for setting up many couples. It’s gotten to a point where almost every day, he has someone walk up to him, asking him to help set them up with whoever their crush happens to be. 

“Well, maybe I have a crush, but so do you. And you do know who Logan’s best friend is, right?” Patton responds, that same mischievous smile. Roman chuckles, looking around in a fond mix of exasperation and amusement. 

“Virgil,” he finally says. Patton’s smile grows wider. “Look, I told you. I can’t talk to him. I’ll just make a fool of myself!”

“Fine,” Patton says. “Suit yourself.” He pats Roman on the shoulder and starts to walk away. Before he’s completely out of sight, he turns and yells, “Just think about it, okay?” Roman rolls his eyes at his friend’s shameless attempts to set him up and heads to choir. 

------------------

Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Roman shuts his locker with a bang. He joins the flood of people heading towards the front doors. He spills out of the school and heads towards his car. Once he’s only a few yards away, he unlocks the doors and dumps his things inside the passenger door. After waving to a few other kids on their way out that he knows, he gets into the driver’s side.

Alone, finally, Roman allows himself to drop the fake smile. Ugh, you goddamn idiot. How did you not notice him there? Now he hates you even more. Good going, Roman! Love whisperer, yeah right.

If only I could just talk to him…

Shoving his embarrassment and frustration aside, he starts the car and pulls out of the school, heading home. His route home winds its way through the downtown streets. Roman is so used to driving the same streets, he’s startled to notice something unordinary. 

A few cars ahead of him is Patton’s silver car. What is he doing over here? Patton lives on the opposite side of downtown as Roman, and while the town is relatively small, it’s still strange. Roman is sure he’s never seen Patton drive this way home before. 

Turning onto 4th Street, Roman watches Patton, now directly ahead of him, park in an open spot in front of one of the little shops lining the street. The sign above says “The Sanders Cafe” in swirly cursive lettering. A decal of a little cupcake sitting next to a cup of coffee accompanies it. 

Oh, right, Roman remembers. Patton and Logan were meeting up to work on their chemistry thingy. 

And Virgil is probably going to be there. No matter how much he tries to block the thought, it still shows up. Roman has tried to get Virgil out of his mind, but it never works. He always pops up when Roman least expects it. Frankly, Roman finds it quite frustrating. 

Lost in thought, Roman turns one intersection too early. “I guess I’ll just go around the block,” he sighs. It had been a long day, and he was looking forward to crashing when he got home. The detour would only cost about 5 minutes but still. Annoying.

Roman’s phone buzzes in the center console while he’s waiting to turn back onto 4th Street, the one with the cafe on it. One quick glance down at it tells Roman it’s from Patton. Checking the road to make sure he has the time, he looks back to read what it says. 

“Patton…” he groans. 

“I think you should come to the cafe with me. I’m waiting outside. Just give it a chance, kiddo!” reads the text message. However much Roman would like to deny it, he does want to go with Patton. On impulse, he finds a parking spot and pulls in. Patton is parked a few spots down, still sitting in his car. He hasn’t noticed Roman yet, and Roman’s glad for that. 

“Come on, Roman,” he says, trying to give himself a pep talk. “Think about what a prince would do. He’d charge in there without a second thought. It wouldn’t matter what would happen because it would be in the name of love. You got this. What’s the worst that could happen, besides Virgil hating the sight of you so much he instantly fights you the second he sees you and you lose and have to go to the hospital and become the laughing stock of the school because while under anesthesia you admit your feelings for Virgil and now everyone knows and—”

A knock on the driver’s side window cuts Roman’s worrying off. When Roman looks up, he sees Patton’s grinning face. The other boy waves enthusiastically and gives him a thumbs up. 

You got this. Be a prince, Roman. It’s in your name, after all. Taking a deep breath and clenching his fists in determination, Roman grabs his phone off the console and double checks to make sure he has his wallet. 

Patton practically assaults him the moment he steps outside the car, talking in a rapid stream of words, but Roman can’t hear anything over the ever-increasing beating of his heart. They walk up to the front door, Patton ahead of Roman, still rambling about something from foods class. 

The moment they walk in, the little silver bell dinging above them, Roman forgets all his worries because there Virgil is, sitting in a booth with another boy, — Logan, probably — his hair falling in front of his face, teeth gnawing on his lip in concentration and Oh god, that boy is beautiful. 

And then Virgil looks up at them, and Roman swears he can feel his heart drop all the way to the ground.

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #prinxiety #logicality #sanders sides #high school au #fanfiction #fanfic #one day...

[southern-belle-outcasts]

4, 5, and 20 mun views

Mun Views 

4. On your fandom. 

Which one lmao....um, well X-Men? Cool, a lot of the fandom to some degree is drawn cuz they can relate be they part of some type of minority group. Don’t see too many assholes, I think most of the jerks that were on here fell off during nippocalypse. There is a divide with the comic elitists vs xmcu and it’s dumb. I used to be an xmcu blog cuz I WANTED to read the comics but I was a broke ass college student who had literally no access to that, but I’d seen Wolverine and the X-Men, plus the movies that were out at the time. If I’d let those asses run me off, well, wouldn’t have continued to build my comic book collection (I’d already read Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, I’m talking specifically X-Men comics).

Arrowverse? I don’t follow many of the blogs, I have a select few I follow. My fandom experience is pretty much my friends with fairly similar views so I can’t speak on the fandom outside of the fact there’s a loooot of veiled hating on women of color under the guise of griping with the crappy writing. I try to avoid it. I don’t hold with Iris and Cecile hate, they’re good characters subjected to the writing of white men, what do you want.

Star Wars? NOPE. Hell naw. No thank you. Bye. I have no interest. I make it very clear this is a “the prequels are the shit, TCW is a fucking joke and trashes the characters, not!Star Wars mouse sequels are non-existent, the og EU is not legends it’s the only recognized canon” blog, and I’m this unapologetically. I have extremely strong opinions, I’ve literally been in the fandom since I was 6, I’ve spent hours reading EU content, visual dictionaries and encyclopedias, concept art of the movies books, comics, novelizations, etc. If you’re a stan of the other...stuff, I’ll probably say shit that will offend you and it’s probably for the best you don’t follow me cuz I’m not censoring these opinions, ever, at all. And for the love of all things holy, if you want to call R*ylo okay, or Anidala toxic, we meeting up behind Denny’s, yo.

Supernatural? Kinda sorta, considering I don’t link Nil and Farrar to any of the show canon besides using some of the monster lore. Like we don’t do the appropriation of native spirituality on this blog, so there’s no use of W*nd*g* cuz you’re not supposed to write or say that, like no. I have major problems with the show, that’s a mile and a half long, past season 5 it went downhill, they really should have left Swan Song as the finale. The queer baiting and bury the gays, the trash trash trash finale, the way any poc and female characters are handled, there’s so much oof. I stay away from it. Honestly kind of nice to see the SPN crowd was mostly quiet, it was RAMPANT when I first got on here, and there was a looot of drama. The way the extreme crowd of the fandom conducts themselves with the actors and stuff tells you a lot. Another nope. I prefer to stick to fandomless urban fantasy.

5. On exclusivity. 

If that’s someone’s jam, that’s cool. Doesn’t bother me. At one point I was exclusive to a few versions of characters. Not anymore, but I can understand how sometimes someone just clicks for you to the extent it rubs you wrong seeing a different version. It doesn’t stop me from writing with other people so I literally give no fucks and don’t see why anyone else should either.

20. On 'popular' blogs. 

Here’s where I piss a lot of people off, and I don’t really fucking care, as having at one point been an even more actively sought out blog back when the MCU was taking off in 2012-2014 and having tons of asks and thread requests, I can more than speak on what it’s like being a popular blog.Technically still am, you don’t have to take my word for it, just look in my thread tracker, and that’s not even all the threads cuz some are in drafts cuz they’re starters and I can’t add yet.

There’s nothing wrong with people enjoying your writing and following you. Awesome, good for you. It often proves to be a lot for people and I don’t like when I see people biting off more than they can chew but still pushing for more followers and asks and threads. Frankly, it’s really, really rude. I get wanting to make people happy, or wanting to try new threads and stuff, but you should also be reasonable with how much you can manage. If I see someone complaining about having too many drafts and asks and then not being able to write because of the pressure, but then daily pushing their promo or their wire or memes...and nothings coming of it...and they’re admitting they can’t get their muse to reply...then STOP. “You don’t owe anyone anything” means you don’t owe anyone respect and obligations that aren’t due.

When you decide to join a collaborative writing hobby, you’re still committing to your partners to write to some degree. Now if that means you’re going to be slow, and super minimal with which followers you actually interact with THAT IS FINE...as long as you have that communicated and make it very clear to the people who follow you they’re probably just following to be lurkers. But I can’t get with constantly pulling for interaction then within the same day the whole inbox is being dumped, drafts are being dumped, the same three people are the only ones ever getting a reply for the past three months, etc.

There’s been times I’ve said I can’t plot right now, there’s been weeks I bump all the memes in my queue further down so that they don’t post so I can catch up. I’m so secure with partners I don’t follow back unless I get my rules code sent in (newsflash: 9/10 I never see it). I never post a promo. I really don’t need to, if I see someone I really want to interact with on my dash, I’ll follow first, but I can’t in good conscious promote myself when I’m at a decent spot keeping up with a LOT. Sometimes I’m really glad I’m a multi with OCS and mostly female muses, it helps avoid ever reaching the point where I’m just getting too many followers to keep up with, but giving yourself a cut-off isn’t a bad thing people. Trying to do too much is.

There, I have successfully pissed off a ton of people, but I’m not taking it back. There’s way too much immaturity on this matter on here, and it’s really a litmus test of the people who HAVE been in group hobbies that are interdependent of cooperation of all members offline, and those who haven’t. “It’s my hobby” isn’t this get of of jail free card you get to wave everywhere when you want to ignore people. You can’t pull that in most hobbies that involve more than one person, whatever it may be, if it’s a DND group, rec sports, chess, whatever. This is my hobby too. I just probably take hobbies and commitment to other people to a more...respectful level. If I have real life, or physical issues, of course that takes priority, but here’s a little secret...we ALL, like 99% of the community, have some degree of mental health, nuerodivergence, jobs, home life, chronic physical issues. I want you to single me out the mun that doesn’t have any of that impacting their writing capabilities to some degree. Please, find them for me. You having those things doesn’t make you special and if you can’t communicate that it’s too much, you need the “flood of follows” from your promo circulating but can’t ever write...I’m just sighing over here.

If any of these opinions rub you wrong, I don’t mind you just unfollowing,that’s fine. No one is forcing you to remain. I strongly believe the people that don’t want to remotely take it seriously, and the people that do take it more seriously, should just keep to themselves, that way no one is getting offended by the other for how they choose to enjoy their hobby. You should enjoy it, goddamnit!!! But NOT at the expense of stringing other people along. Communication is kind of essential here, as much as people want to go “I’m too shy, BLOCK”, but y’all I have ADHD, RSD, social anxiety (I used to live in an anxiety attack it was so bad), and I still do my best to communicate with people even on uncomfortable topics. If I can manage, so can you. And if you CAN’T be mature...and communicate...then mayhaps stick to fanfic until you learn how.

#;out of the south #;munday #DUMPTRUCK OF SALT ALERT #watch my follower count go off the cliff i really don't care #hey nonny nonny #;little asks are made of gunpowder and lead

[sakurai-ai]

This is a Shera and Voltron Rant that will most definitely have spoilers for both shows.

It is 4:30am, and I am unable to sleep through the injustice I am feeling right now. And I need to rant.

So apologies.

Let's get to it then.

Alright, so first of all, I mean no disrespect to anyone in the LGBTQIA+ (here forth LGBT...because I'm tired) community and to either of the shows Voltron or Shera.

I adore both of them with so much of my being, and honestly they have opened up the flood gates for future shows to be just as freaking A as these are.

My only problem (for lack of a better word) is with the actual LGBT representation they show in both TV shows.

Okay. Let's get down to brass tacks.

It's safe to say, Shera was more focused on the lesbian representation, what with there being a solid amount of lesbian couples on screen alongside the other relationships (I'm talking Spinerella and Netossa - such literal names, I love it! - the beginnings of Scorpia and Perfuma, and obviously the main character Adora and her love interest Catra) all canon and all amazing.

Now don't get me wrong, I love that the characters are real. In the fact that they aren't just tossed into the mix just because they are gay and have nothing else to offer. Like most shows have them.

Spinerella and Netossa are legit relationship goals, and Scorpia and Perfuma are just oh so cute with their friendship to something more thing. (this could be the start of something new!)

And the actual angst ridden amazing-ness of the entire arc that is Adora and Catra's relationship.

But hey, we're doing brass tacks here. So let's get to the grit of it.

In Shera, we've had a few seasons of a healthy onscreen lesbian relationships, and a kiss scene between two females. (just to put it out there once again, I mean no insult to anyone in the LGBT community, I am an asexual agender person myself, though that means nothing for this rant, I just don't want you to think I have anything against you beautiful beautiful people out there rocking it). So yes, the validity and representation for lesbians is real. And we deserve it soooooo badly.

And also, the gay representation with Bow's fathers'? I mean wow, hats off.

Now onto Voltron.

I absolutely adore the show, and it is no secret that I am a Klance fan. However, putting that aside. And taking off my "BL-coloured glasses" as many of my friends have so aptly told me (I love you, but you can fuck right off right now). I'm going to instead start on focusing on what is canon.

Comparing it to Shera (which I probably shouldn't now that I think about it, but fuck it I'm on a roll) I see little to no representation of a healthy gay relationship. Now, I don't expect their to be a heavy make out scene between two boys, or scenes between certain men that are similar in feelings/validity/representation to the scenes the creators have done with Shera (cough Klance cough) whatever. But I saw no intention of their ever really being an actual solid validation of a healthy gay relationship.

Sure Shiro is a gay man, and he is not a GAY man, we barely know a thing about him in that regards, and it was a bit of a shock to me when I first found out (I was a Shallura shipper, still am, but I just ADORE Adam and Curtis). It's hard to see him as anything but Shiro, let alone pinpoint him as "the gay one" as many tv shows seem to have done in the past.

But we find out he is gay, have an amazing representation for other younger (and older) gay people, (I mean come on, it's Shiro for goodness sakes! He's like God tier level, alongside Adora herself).

Only for our hopes to be dashed when we find out his Bae is dead? (#adamisnotdead! You can pry that shit from my cold, dead hands) and when we get some semblance of gay representation, it's shoved in a insert image at the end of the show where Shiro is marrying Curtis (which, again absolutely awesome - and Shiro most definitely has a type, I'm just saying).

Though I understand that Voltron was not focused on the characters and their sexualities (similar to Shera, they were both telling a story after all), and that this was not a show to actually push that boat forward (or at least to me it didn't seem like it that much, but this is just my opinion and I did love the fact that Shiro being gay was a part of his overall personality and am glad that this is the road we are now venturing on)

However, I, for one, am a little hurt for my beautiful gays out there. I wish we had more. More in normal TV shows and in cartoons that turn so popular. I know we're getting there! A lot of shows not have the represention! But I want more where the main character is gay, and that he's a character, not a GAY character. I want to be able to purchase the dvds, or stream the shows in the "normal" section, rather than in the LGBT section.

B99 has done this with Holt and Rosa. I can hear you say. But, that is one of the few that has done this! I desire more!

I want it to be so mainatream that saying your sexualities should be as blase as saying what starsign you are or what Hogwarts house you represent! (Hufflepuff baby!)

Okay, okay. I know what you're probably thinking. Voltron is catered to boys, whereas Shera is catered to girls. I get that, majority states that boys will watch shows where boys are the main character and visav for girls. (see; majority, not everyone. I have enough neices and nephews and have had literally babysat thousands of kids to see this happen all the time, so though it may not be every single kid, like hell is that possible, it's happened enough for it to be a thing).

But, my question is. Why is it so easy for TV to show two girls having an honest and healthy relationship where they kiss and hug and say their sweet 'I love you's (in a sexual or nonsexual way - I'm looking at you advert for a product that I will not name-shame, where you literally have two girls on a bed, in shorts and camis making out in their new home and only have two men looking at the camera with their heads tilted together), and boys instead get an argument where one man says he's going to leave the love of his life and then dies before his lover can apologise or whatever to him?

I don't understand why boys are treated like this.

I also don't understand why Voltron wasted so many seasons of bringing up Klance to its pedestal, only to force a rebound relationship on a wonderful boy who clearly got over the girl many seasons back. And for her to suddenly decide, yup, my entire life is in shambles, I was in a relationship with a man who betrayed me and then died horribly. So I'm obviously ready to get in to a relationship with the man who may or may not still like me, even after we've both been shown as much more mature and respectful of one another and neither of us have made any indication that we feel that way about one another anymore (or at all) until now, and I remember he really did seem to like me as an alien princess from his advances from the first season. So obviously he still likes me 7 seasons in.

Which apparently are sound enough for them to go on a date.

Only to fucking kill her off as well.

What I'm trying to get at, is that I expected more. And I am immensely happy that Shera did its thing. And I cannot wait for the next obsession to happen (don't fuck it up Dragon Prince, I adore Callum and Rayla! And all the other beautiful canon (and noncanon) couples in there!)

Good luck guys. You've got a lot to work on.

Fuck it. Its 5:30am. And I'm just going to go to bed.

SakuAi Out.

#rant #voltron #she ra #spoilers #lgbtq #lgbt representation #lgbtlove

[leisurelypanda]

i'm so mean to bucky but i honestly just need something with shrunkyclunks and bucky being mugged and then getting protective care later from steve, i'm evil i know sorry haha

You want angst? Okay! >:D

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18376730

Being Captain America’s boyfriend was never guaranteed to be easy. Despite the fact that both the Avengers’ public relations team, Tony Stark’s personal team, and all of Bucky’s friends had all told him not to google himself after their relationship became public, Bucky hadn’t been able to resist the temptation. It was everything that he could have predicted and more.

There were strong supporters and vocal detractors. Some people thirst tweeted him, others thirst tweeted Steve (which wasn’t new), and some thirst tweeted both of them. That part was fine, if a little… invasive. Other people claimed that Steve could do better. Bucky ignored those, because honestly, who cared? Steve thought he was sexy (a fact that still made Bucky feel a little giddy) and that was all that mattered.

The main issue was the religious nuts who had a collective aneurysm, as though the fact that Captain America was fucking a guy was a personal attack. Steve ignored them, but he was a little more experienced ignoring such people. Bucky was honestly a bit worried. There had been more than one conservative speaker who claimed that Bucky was an agent of the Devil who had corrupted the moral symbol of America, and by extension, the entire country as a whole.

If it had been something normal and simple such as, “The gays cause floods, wildfires, and tornados,” that would’ve been fine. Those made Bucky chuckle. Claiming that he personally was a danger and threat and seeing people agree with it so easily was a little more disturbing.

After about a month of that, Bucky started a total social media blackout. They were right, it wasn’t worth the worry. Steve started training him in combat skills, too. “You never know when you’ll need to defend yourself,” he said. Bucky laughed it off more to deflect from the fact that he was actually kinda worried.

About a month into his social media blackout, Bucky was minding his own business while walking towards his apartment. The Tower was nice, but it wasn’t Brooklyn and Bucky really did like having his own space. It wasn’t anything fancy, but for a guy who was working on a cupcake shop, it was everything he needed it to be: comfortable, warm, and within his ability to pay.

Brooklyn was beautiful. The fact that Bucky had grown up there made him biased, but also right. He loved how it seemed both old and new. Steve sometimes talked about how it used to look like, what people used to do there. He’d drawn pictures of tall buildings that were piles of shacks more than anything connected by rows of laundry hung out over the streets to dry.

It was amazing, both from an artistic sense and from a historical one. Now, Brooklyn was a place full of youth and vigor. It seemed full of art and possibilities and sometimes Bucky caught Steve’s eyes glaze over, as if he was imagining what life might’ve been like in this Brooklyn instead of the one he grew up in. Maybe he would’ve had a future instead of bleak prospects and a weak body.

Bucky turned the corner and continued walking towards his apartment like he always did. As he passed by the alley between a bar and a pizza joint, he was grabbed from behind. His yell was muffled as he was slammed against the brick wall behind him. The back of his head throbbed in pain.

“What the? Who the hell are you?!” he demanded. It came out more as a groan than a yell like he’d hoped for.

“Are you Bucky Barnes?” one of them asked. There were three of them. They each wore black ski masks like some cheesy movie trope, but at the moment, Bucky was actually legitimately terrified.

“Who wants to know?” Bucky replied. They looked at each other before one of them checked his back pockets until they found his wallet.

“It’s him,” they reported.

“Well then, Bucky,” the first mugger said. “We’re here to save the soul of Captain America.”

An icy sliver of dread passed through Bucky’s stomach as he caught the sliver of a knife while someone else produced a gun. His brief amount of combat training with Steve kicked in and he bashed his head against the nose of the mugger who held him against the wall. Bucky grabbed the blade that the mugger dropped and dropped into a defensive posture.

They couldn’t have all brought knives like normal psychopaths, could they? Bucky thought.

He attacked and managed to disarm the second one before he decided to make a run for it rather than try to fight his way out. As he was making his getaway, though, he heard a shot followed by the sudden stabbing of a gunshot strike like lightning in his leg. He didn’t have time. He dashed into the bar. He went straight into the bar, his leg throbbing in protest with every step.

“Call an ambulance,” Bucky said through clenched teeth. The bartender nodded and picked up the phone. Bucky barely registered what he said as he tried desperately to keep pressure on a wound he couldn’t see. When the bartender was done, he came around the bar with a rag and a length of twine.

“They’re on their way,” he said. “Where is it?”

“Thigh,” Bucky breathed. “Back. Can’t see.”

The bartender rolled him over on his side and pressed the rag to the wound. Bucky cried out in pain as the bartender secured the cloth to his leg with quick and brutal precision.

“What’s your name, son?” the bartender asked. “I’m Steven Goldberg.”

“Bu-Bucky Barnes,” he said. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” the bartender said. “The ambulance will be here soon. Tell me about yourself.”

“I—I make cupcakes,” he said. “Barnes’ Artisanal Bakery.”

“You just make cupcakes at your bakery?” Steven asked. Bucky chuckled and shook his head.

“No, they’re just… my specialty,” he said. “Make bread, too. Lots of challah. Grandma’s recipe.”

“You Jewish?” Steven asked. Bucky nodded. “Me, too. Great-grandma was saved by Captain America during the Holocaust. Named my granddad Steve after him. My ma named me after him.”

Bucky smiled. “He’s my… boyfriend,” Bucky said. “Ma was so proud… when she heard. Said it made up for… me eating bacon.”

Steven laughed at that. Bucky chuckled a bit at that, too. Then he closed his eyes. Steven shook him lightly.

“Stay with me, Bucky!” he said sternly. “Come on, tell me about your favorite cupcake recipe. How did you meet Steve Rogers?”

“Catered a… party… at the tower,” Bucky said. “Just tired…”

“Hey, hey, stay awake!” Steven said. He slapped Bucky’s face lightly. “The ambulance is almost here, gotta stay awake.”

Everything went dark.

Bucky heard people. He heard voices, but they were speaking like he was underwater or something. He couldn’t make anything out. Someone sounded stressed. It might’ve been Steve. He couldn’t tell. He wished they would be quiet. He was still so tired.

He became aware of some terrible, searing pain. It didn’t feel anything like the bullet. The bullet felt just fine in comparison to this, like he’d been hit with a stick. He felt like he was burning from the inside out. He might have screamed, maybe it was someone else. After a while, he passed out again.

When he next came to, he heard beeping by his bedside. He groaned softly and the next thing he knew, someone was holding his hand tightly.

“Buck?” someone said. It was Steve. Bucky grinned knowing that Steve was with him. “Come on, Bucky wake up for me, please.”

“Stevie,” Bucky replied. It was little more than a murmur. His voice was hoarse and his throat hurt like hell. It wasn’t a dream, then. He had screamed, but he didn’t know why.

“Oh, thank God,” Steve sighed with relief. “Can you open your eyes?”

Bucky slowly opened them. He looked up into a face that was both strange and familiar. It was Steve, his Steve, but he’d grown a beard at some point. That was weird. Steve never had facial hair. He definitely hadn’t had one the last time Bucky saw him. He looked amazing, though.

“Nice beard,” Bucky said. Steve grinned and laughed with relief. “Am I in a hospital?”

“Yeah, yeah you are,” Steve replied. He looked down with concern at Bucky’s face. “How… do you feel?”

Bucky thought for a moment. He felt… fine. Better than fine, actually. He wasn’t in any pain at all. After a gunshot wound, he figured he’d at least be a bit tender afterwards or have a lot of pain. Even his head felt clear, rather having than the dull throb and foggy senses that might have accompanied a concussion.

“What happened?” Bucky asked.

“You were attacked,” Steve said. His face was resolute, but Bucky could see the guilt and sadness underneath. The guy who called the ambulance said that he didn’t know who did it.

“I don’t, either,” Bucky said. “They just said they were trying to save your soul.”

Steve grimaced. “Anyway, after you were out of danger, you went into shock,” he said. “The doctors said that you had a mild concussion and you’d lost a lot of blood despite what Mr. Goldberg did.”

“He was named after ya, ya know,” Bucky said. “Said his great-grandma was saved by you during the Holocaust.”

“Really?” Steve said. “He didn’t say anything like that to me. I saved a lot of people from the camps whenever I found them.”

“Here I thought my folks were the only Jews who were crazy for ya,” Bucky said. “Clearly all of us love you. You should convert.”

Steve laughed at that. “Sure, Buck. I’ll get right on it,” he said. “Do you feel… strange, at all?”

Bucky frowned at him. “What do you mean, ‘strange’?” he asked.

Steve shrugged and Bucky could see his face blush a bit. “I don’t know… different,” he replied.

Bucky stared at him. “I have an inexplicable urge to run a marathon,” he said. “Does that count as strange?”

“Uh, it might.”

“Steve,” Bucky said sternly. “What did you do?”

Steve looked down sheepishly. “You lost a lot of blood,” Steve replied. “The paramedics didn’t have enough of your blood type, AB negative. Said it was pretty rare. I… offered mine. I apparently have the universal donor or something.”

Bucky blinked. “Okay,” he said. “What does that have to do with me feeling weirdly energetic?”

Steve ducked his head. “The… docs think that I might’ve passed on the serum to you.”

It took a minute for that little tidbit to seep in. Bucky smiled slowly, then all at once.

“They do?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “The surgery to get the bullet out was just a few hours ago. They had difficulty keeping you sedated because of the change, actually.”

“How much blood did you give me?” Bucky asked.

“Enough, apparently,” Steve said sheepishly. “They want to monitor you, see if I really did pass everything on.”

“Fuck that!” Bucky cried. He took out the IV and jumped to his feet. He looked down at his body. What had once been skinny arms on a broad frame was now lined with thick muscle. The next thing he did was lift up his hospital gown and check his dick. He barely recognized it. His flaccid length was about as long as he’d used to be while hard. “Damn, look at that! Holy shit!”

“Buck, please, we’re in public,” Steve said with a blush.

“We’re alone in here,” Bucky said with a mischievous grin. “Pull the blinds, maybe we can get a quickie in before the doctor gets here.”

“Buck, I’m serious,” Steve said sternly.

“So am I!” Bucky replied. “It’s not every day you wake up in a brand new body. Come on, help me break this baby in.”

Steve’s blush grew. “Later, I promise,” he said.

Bucky stared at him before he dropped his gown. His dick, which had been working its way to hardness softened.

“Okay,” he said. “Later.”

The doctors cleared Bucky to leave as soon as they saw he was up and about. His ma cried from relief when she arrived and found him. Bucky hugged her tightly and realized that he probably had to be gentle when she groaned a bit more easily than he remembered. His very next thought was that he was gonna get her back for all the years of oppressively bone-crushing hugs she always gave him.

He went back with Steve to the tower where they proceeded to… do absolutely nothing. They didn’t go down to the gym or fuck or even watch tv. Steve just had Bucky sit down on the couch while he did everything. He brought Bucky the biggest sandwiches Bucky had ever seen, he put Bucky’s shoes away for him, he cleaned every visible surface of his apartment twice, he got Bucky everything he wanted, and was even waiting outside when Bucky emerged from the bathroom.

“Steve, come on, I’m fine,” Bucky said. He took Steve’s hand. “Come on, let’s do something fun if we have to stay here.”

“No, Bucky,” Steve said. He jerked his hand out of Bucky’s like it was burned and… Bucky definitely felt that. He scowled at Steve.

“Fine,” he growled. He walked around Steve towards the front door.

“Where are you going?” Steve demanded.

“Home,” Bucky said as he shoved his feet into his shoes. “I’ve got things to do.”

The sound the door made when he slammed it made him feel a little bit satisfied.

It wasn’t until late that evening when Bucky’s phone rang. He looked down at Steve’s number. He was still mad, though, so he let it go to voicemail.

In the hours that he’d been home, he’d cleaned up everything. There was a lot, considering that Bucky tended to not have time to clean things between running a bakery and dating a superhero. His newfound strength and energy, though, proved convenient. He picked up the couch with ease to clean under it and even the bed seemed light to him.

It didn’t seem to matter, though. Steve, for whatever reason, didn’t seem to think that Bucky’s new abilities were all that interesting. He’d backed away from his touch and even turned away when Bucky had tried to kiss him earlier.

What if he doesn’t like the way I look, now? Bucky thought. It made the icy feeling in his gut grow. He curled in on himself, picking his feet up and wrapping his arms around his ankles. It was true, he had been shorter and skinnier than Steve when they met, but surely Steve hadn’t just liked him for his body… right?

The thought wouldn’t leave, though. Bucky eventually ended up falling asleep on the couch with nothing but an old afghan.

His alarm went off the same time it did every morning. Bucky groaned as he pressed snooze. He was gonna take the day off. He’d use the excuse that he’d been shot to defend it if anyone asked. Yesterday had been stressful, after all, in more ways than one.

He did, however, look at Steve’s contact on his phone. His phone said that he had a message from him. There wasn’t anything else, though. It wasn’t like him to ignore Bucky like this, though. Finally, Bucky decided to press the voicemail notification.

Hey, Buck, the message began. I’m sorry for what happened to ya today. Sorry that… you got hurt because of me. If we weren’t together, this wouldn’t ever have happened.

There was a pause in the message and Bucky’s heart stopped. “Steve, don’t you fucking dare,” he grumbled.

I hate that you got hurt because of me, Buck. I couldn’t live with myself if it happened again. I… I think it’s best that we go our separate ways, now.

Bucky couldn’t breathe. His eyes filled with tears and he clutched his shirt over his heart. “No, Steve, stop!”

So… I guess this is goodbye, Buck. I hope you live a good life… End of message. To delete this message—

Bucky hung up. His mind swirled with a tempest of emotions. Grief, shock, denial, rage, hate, and the sharp, bitter sting of rejection all fought for dominance. Bucky fell to his knees on the floor. He looked back down at his phone only to see that he’d crushed it in his hand. He banged his other hand on the coffee table and it cracked.

“Dammit!” he shouted. He got up, still seething with anger as he washed his hand under the sink. Thankfully, no glass had gotten in the cut across his palm, but he still bandaged it up. He would probably be completely fine after a few hours.

The thought of that made him think of Steve, though. Steve did this, made him this way. His body was new and different and strange. He’d broken his phone and his coffee table already. He couldn’t afford to replace them either! And now… now there was no one around to teach him how to adjust.

His legs buckled and he fell to his knees in a corner of the kitchen. He sobbed. Yesterday he’d been mugged, shot, and woken up a different person. Today, he was more alone than he’d ever felt at any other time in his life.

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that. He cried until he couldn’t breathe and kept crying. It was the stupidest, dumbest, most Steve-like reason to break up. Protecting him… asshole.

When he looked up and cleaned himself off, he could hear a din of voices at his door. He walked over as quietly as he could and looked through the hole on his door. They had cameras and mics and Bucky groaned softly. This was the last thing he needed.

He turned around and started packing a bag. The first thing he’d need was to get to the tower. There was no fucking way he was letting Steve just break up with him over this. He took everything he was likely to need and packed it into a backpack before he snuck out the fire escape.

For some reason, there were no paparazzi at the bottom of the fire escape. Whether that was because they were leery about going into a strange alley or because they didn’t know about it, Bucky didn’t care. He jumped down from the bottom level and grinned triumphantly when his body only felt slightly uncomfortable at the landing. He’d need to work on that.

He marched towards the street and hailed a cab, which admittedly took him a few minutes, but it arrived before the press realized that he’d duped them.

“Avengers Tower,” he said as he climbed into the back seat.

The drive was as slow as he expected, honestly. Traffic was always bad in New York, but what mattered was that he wasn’t around a bunch of people that he could bump into and inadvertently send hurtling into oncoming traffic or onto the third rail at the subway or something.

Nearly an hour and a half later, Bucky arrived and paid the driver. He tried not to wince at how much it cost to get him there, but he didn’t care at the moment. He was totally getting Steve to pay for this shit.

Unfortunately, the press were here, too. As soon as he got out of the cab, they swarmed him like a school of piranha.

“Bucky Barnes, is it true that Captain America broke up with you?!”

“Mr. Barnes, can you confirm that you were kidnapped yesterday?!”

“Do the events that happened yesterday have anything to do with your new appearance?!”

“Was your whole relationship with Captain America a plot to steal the serum?!”

Bucky growled, but otherwise ignored them as he marched inside. Security guards let him through and held the reporters back. He sighed as he stepped inside.

“I guess you’re here to see Steve?” came a voice. Bucky turned to see Tony leaning on the front counter.

“What happened?” Bucky asked.

“You don’t know? You’re the one who became the world’s second super soldier,” Tony said. “Honestly, I’m surprised it took this long for people to try this. Steve having O negative blood and the serum being in it, it doesn’t exactly shock me that giving someone else his blood would pass the serum along.”

“I know about that,” Bucky said. “But everything else, no. I, uh, broke my phone.”

Tony glanced down at his hands and nodded knowingly. “I’ll hook you up with a Stark phone,” he said. “Had to make some that Steve could use after he kept breaking normal ones.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said. “So what’s happened?”

“It was about as dramatic an announcement as I’ve ever seen,” Tony said. “Steve told some press yesterday when they came here asking what happened and told them the two of you were no longer a thing. Next thing anyone knew, the Internet exploded. You’ve got fangirls crying about their OTP breaking up and everything.”

“Great,” Bucky said.

“So did you?” Tony asked.

“He left a message on my phone,” Bucky growled.

“Wait… he did?” Tony demanded, his eyes going wide. “That’s a dick move.”

“Yeah, so let me know where he is because he and I are gonna have words,” Bucky growled.

“He’s in the gym,” Tony said as Bucky got into the elevator. “Going to town on some punching bags, I’ll bet. I’ll take care of the press. Give him a good ole’ one two for me, all right?”

Bucky grinned savagely. “Sure thing.”

His heart was hammering in his chest and his body thrummed with nervous energy as the elevator moved. When it dinged and the doors opened, the only thing Bucky could hear was the sound of punching echoing through the room. He followed it until he saw Steve. In spite of the anger and sadness and hurt he felt, he took a moment to admire Steve’s form. Only a moment, though. He walked up until he was behind Steve.

“Hey, punk,” he said. Steve whipped around and before he could say anything, Bucky gave him a right hook, which nailed him square in the jaw. Steve stumbled back and Bucky grinned with satisfaction, knowing that he’d caught Steve off-guard.

“Bucky?! What—” Bucky interrupted him with a left punch, which Steve blocked easily. “Stop!”

“Stop?!” Bucky demanded. “Where do you get off telling me to stop?!”

He lunged at Steve and they tumbled to the floor. Bucky might not have any knowledge of fighting, but he was strong, strong enough that he was able to make Steve fight for his victory. He punched and kicked and shoved and even bit Steve before he ended up on the floor of the gym with his arms pinned above his head and Steve kneeling over him.

“Fuck you,” Bucky growled. “You’re a damn asshole, punk.”

Steve’s gaze softened. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your damned apology!” Bucky yelled. “I want an explanation! I feel like I deserve that much!��

Steve sighed. “I know you’re angry—”

“No shit.”

“I just couldn’t stand to see you get hurt again!” Steve shouted. “You got hurt because of me! I did the only thing I could think of that could protect you!”

“You’re not protecting me,” Bucky said. Steve blinked above him. Bucky closed his eyes and willed himself not to cry. “You’re not protecting me.”

“Buck, what’s going on?” Steve asked.

“Everything, you fucking moron!” Bucky cried. “I broke my fucking phone, I broke my table, I twisted some ladder rails on my way out the door trying to avoid the paparazzi, I had to stop myself from slamming a cab door closed cause I can’t afford to break more shit. I can’t clock people for getting in my face cause I don’t wanna hurt anyone.

“You did this to me, you asshole. You saved my life and made me a super soldier and you’re the only one who knows what this shit is like and now you’re calling it quits? You’re abandoning me!”

Bucky realized that he had tears streaming down his face and sucked in a breath. “Shit,” he hissed.

“Bucky… I’m so sorry,” Steve said. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s body. Bucky burrowed his face in Steve’s chest and sobbed.

“I’m still mad at you,” Bucky said between sobs.

“I know,” Steve said. “You have every right to be. I regretted it the moment I hung up, but when I woke up, I couldn’t get ahold of you.”

“Why? Why did you do it?” Bucky asked.

“I was scared, baby,” Steve murmured. “I thought that the only thing I could do to keep you safe was break up because I couldn’t think of the fact that you could’ve died because I love you.”

Bucky closed his eyes and fisted a hand in Steve’s sweaty shirt. He sniffed and breathed in the scent of Steve’s musk. Even now, he found that he loved the smell and sight of Steve all sweaty.

“Damn fine way of showing it,” Bucky muttered. Steve shifted down until his face was hovering over Bucky’s. He kissed him tenderly. Bucky growled, though, and kissed him back with more fire and force. He flipped them over and Steve gasped as Bucky stared down at him. Bucky smirked triumphantly. “Huh, so that’s what it feels like.”

“You like the view?” Steve asked. Bucky chuckled and placed his hands on Steve’s shirt.

“It could be improved,” he said. He pulled and the shirt ripped to shreds with no more effort than if it were paper. Bucky looked down at Steve’s chest in satisfaction and not a small amount of pride. He kissed Steve hard, thrusting his tongue into Steve’s mouth and biting his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed. Steve groaned beneath him but Bucky kept him pinned to the floor.

“You’re mine,” Bucky growled. “And I’m yours. ‘Til the end of the line, ya fucking punk.”

Steve nodded. “‘Til the end of the line,” he agreed.

Bucky kissed him again before he rolled Steve onto his stomach. He rubbed his aching cock over the cleft of Steve’s ass. He was fucking huge, now. It was like one of those online fake porn ads that promised miracle pills to make your dick get bigger, except it was Steve’s blood that did it. His jeans were uncomfortably tight around his member and Bucky quickly shucked them to the floor and tossed them aside. As soon as they were off, he reached down and ripped Steve’s khakis off along the seam.

“Jesus, Buck, I gotta walk around when this is over,” Steve groaned.

“Shut up,” Bucky said. “You broke up with me. A few ripped clothes is the least you deserve.”

He grabbed a packet of lube from Steve’s inside pocket (because the man always had a plan, even after he dumped his boyfriend, apparently) and slicked up two of his fingers. He pressed one to Steve’s hole and pushed in. Steve hissed at the intrusion, but didn’t say anything. Bucky kept pressing in until the digit was fully seated inside him.

Bucky fucked him with that finger until Steve felt loose enough for another and pushed it in alongside the first. Steve moaned and pressed his face into the floor beneath him as he pushed back on Bucky’s hand.

“Buck,” Steve said.

“Yeah?”

“A little down and to the left,” Steve said. Bucky bent his fingers as requested and Steve moaned loudly as he rubbed over Steve’s prostate. Bucky added a third finger and stretched him with impatience. He wanted to fuck Steve and this was honestly taking a while.

“Buck, I’m ready, fuck me,” Steve moaned. Bucky didn’t argue. He tore open another lube packet and coated his now considerably large cock with lube. He had been somewhat surprised to find that in addition to becoming stronger, his foreskin had grown back. And it felt. AMAZING. The head of his dick was so much more sensitive. He pressed the head to Steve’s hole and moaned just at the feeling. He pushed in.

“Oh God, oh fuck,” Bucky groaned. “Fuck, this is amazing.”

Steve chuckled beneath him. “Go slow,” he moaned. “Gotta give me time to adjust, baby.”

“Shut up, I’m trying to enjoy this,” Bucky replied.

“Enjoying your first time topping, baby?” Steve asked.

“The foreskin helps,” Bucky said. He inched further inside Steve and groaned as Steve’s hot, tight hole squeezed around him. “Seriously, first I eat bacon, now I have a foreskin. I might as well be a Gentile now.”

Steve laughed at that. “I’m a corrupting influence, it seems,” he said.

“You have to convert, now,” Bucky said. “Gotta make up for leading me astray.”

“Okay, Buck,” Steve chuckled.

When Bucky finally bottomed out, it felt amazing. Steve’s ass clenched around his whole length. It was the second most amazing thing Bucky had ever felt, the first being Steve’s cock in him. He’d always be a slut for Steve’s cock. This was a very, very close second, though.

He began to roll his hips against Steve’s slowly. He moaned at the feeling, at Steve’s walls wrapped tight around him. Steve groaned and pushed back against Bucky, matching his shallow thrusts. Bucky reached down and gripped Steve’s hips as he began to pull out more. He thrust hard into Steve’s heat and Steve whined.

“God, you feel so fuckin’ good,” Bucky growled. He pushed Steve’s chest down and started fucking him into the floor. Steve moaned and writhed beneath him. “You like that? You like havin’ a man who can keep up with ya? Who can go all day with you and not feel tired?”

Steve moaned and nodded beneath him. Bucky quickened his pace. There was no finesse or grace in it. He was angry and hurt and Steve was the one who did it. He threw his head back and groaned as he began to slam into Steve’s ass. Steve whimpered and moaned beneath him and Bucky grinned with savage satisfaction.

“You should’ve known better,” Bucky growled. “Should’ve warned me. Should’ve helped me, ya punk.”

Steve groaned and nodded. “Harder, harder, Buck,” he moaned. “Give me all you got.”

Bucky groaned and fucked faster. His body moved like lightning streaking across the sky, faster and more powerful than it had ever been in his life. His hands were like iron around Steve’s hips, nails digging into his skin and drawing bits of blood. Still, Bucky went faster, harder. He wanted Steve to hurt, to feel everything he’d done to Bucky. Steve just groaned beneath him and took everything Bucky gave him.

“Fuck, Bucky, I’m gonna come,” Steve moaned. “Gonna come, keep going!”

Bucky did. He slammed into Steve’s prostate with every thrust and without mercy. A moment later, Steve’s ass was squeezing around him like a vice and Steve shouted as he came. Bucky felt his body writhe beneath him, shaking as he came onto the floor beneath them. A second later, he slammed his cock into Steve’s ass as deep as it would go and he came too, his come bursting from him. He came more than he ever had in his life. Every drop of it shot into Steve’s waiting ass.

When he was spent, he slumped with exhaustion. His cock slipped from Steve’s ass and he collapsed on the floor breathing like he’d just run 20 miles. He breathed deep, the sweetness of the air filling his burning lungs. Steve got up and laid down next to him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “You were right, I abandoned you. I’m sorry for being afraid.”

Bucky nodded and held back more tears. “Just… promise me that if you ever want to break up with me in the future, you’ll do it person.”

“I didn’t want to break up with you,” Steve murmured. “Before yesterday, I…I thought that we would be together forever, actually. I never want anybody else, baby.”

“If you ask me to marry you naked on a gym floor, I swear to God I will walk the fuck out of here,” Bucky said. Steve laughed softly.

“Don’t worry,” he said.

“Good, cause I got standards. I want a real nice proposal, all romantic and shit,” Bucky said.

“Just so we’re clear,” Steve said. “You’re okay with me proposing at some later, undisclosed date.”

Bucky smiled against Steve’s chest. “Yeah, I’m really okay with that,” he said. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby,” Steve murmured. “You mind if we get up and put some clothes on?”

Bucky smiled mischievously. “Yes to the first,” he replied. “But no to the second. I really wanna see how long I can go, now.”

Steve’s eyes darkened and he kissed Bucky with heat and passion. Bucky moaned and yielded to him like putty in his hands. Steve knew exactly how to get him going.

“You got it,” Steve said.

#lemons #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #shrunkyclunks #marvel #avengers #asks #anonymous #fanfic #my work

[staatsanwaltnightingale]

Are they, are they not?

„GoodOmens“ content was flooding my dash for a while now.

At first I ignored it, but I grew more curious with every post about the show, cute fanart does that to you.

So i made an amazon prime account (thankfully there is a free month option) to check out for myself what that hype was all about:

Aka the two cents noone asked for.

I like bible story adaptations. Though I myself am not a believer, I love the concept of angels, demons, gods, mythical creatures, all that good stuff. Makes sweet fuel for the creativity engine.

I did enjoy the story, the story telling. I liked quite a lot of the characters. The humor. Cringed at some scenes and lines.

All in all the series was a solid 4,5 out of 5.

The big questionis: Are the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley a thing?

((Now I only watched the TV Series, never read the book. But as far as I am aware, what I could gather from tumblr posts anyway, there are quite a lot of differences, so they should be treated seperately.

What I could gather, in the book they held hands facing the Apocalypse, and at the end moved into a cottage together.

What I do know, is that in the series one of the angels that cornered Aziraphale to question him, called Crowley something along the lines of „your boyfriend with the sunglasses“.

If they arnt canon, why put a line like this in there. I mean yeah I guess its meant as harmless joke but did they really have to include that?))

- I have seen many opinions on this:

Some claim it is absolutely canon, refering to the creators confirming it in an interview.

- Others say they are just (best) friends.

- My friend told me she read an article where the creators (or one of them anyway) said that they cant be in a love relationship because celestial beings apparently dont have a concept of that kind of love. To which I call bullshit, because not only do they experience love for things like food or a bentley to the point they are „having a moment here“ when it burns down, to crying over the loss of a best friend.

Its not a huge leap from best friends to Significant others, rather its a pretty small step.

And before anyone says something along the lines „Just because they dont have sex on screen...“ yada yada. Of course they dont have to fuck to be a valid couple. I myself wish nothing more than  relationship stories that dont revolve around sex in this over sexualised world. Id love to see more Asexual rep.

I love their relationship: being fond of each others company, wanting to run off together, worrying for eachother, caring for eachother,  having fun together...but how hard would it be to say „I love you“ or hold hands while smiling lovingly at eachother. Because as cute as their interactions are, you COULD interpret it as just really close friends.

Hell, there are still a lot of people denying Korrasami (the lesbian couple from the show „the legend of Korra“), calling them gal pals and seeing their handholding and them longingly gazing at eachother as being really close friends. (disclaimer, Im not saying their relationship has been established in a perfect way with all the love triangle going on etc.)

- I read an article, where N.G said that it IS a love story, which kind of love, though, is up to the viewers interpretation. Which, to me, is one of the rudest things to say, especially as an supposed ally. What does he think have we been doing all these years? Starving for representation, the lgbt-etc community kept grasping at any ever so small hint, clinging to any for two same gendered individuals atypical interaction they could find, just to be shown the middle finger in the end.

Is it queerbaiting?

((If Im not mistaken the book and the series was written by two authors, and I dont know, to me, if its not both parties agreeing on them being gay, and only one pushing this narrative, then I wouldnt count it.

Also im not sure why he is practically begging for fanfictions. If your show is good and you have nice character you dont even have to say a thing and there are thousand fanfictions appearing every second. Mostly fetish/kink based porn fanfictions, but yeah.))

((Disclaimer: Before I get jumped, yes I know angels and demons have no gender, I am aware of that.

But they present themselves mostly as men. Sometimes as women.

So lets just say it would be a win for nonebinaries and homosexuals alike.))

Many shows like using queerbaiting to boost their views. Using interactions between two same gendered people, including romantice cues, to wake the illusion of a possible homosexual relationship, but keep it vague enough not to throw off the straight viewership.

And boy do the fish bite, just to be tossed into the grinder when the show is done and it turns out, hey those two characters were straight all along. Silly fish.

I mean, are straight people not tired of the „will they wont they trope“?

Also it bothers me how we have two celestial beings knowing eachother for thousands of years  with the potential of an enemies, to friends, to best friends, to significant others love story and get nothing (?).

But then we have two characters that literally just met, and they fuck in a storm because of a prophecy.

That scene threw me off. Did I miss something? Did they stop the storm by fucking? Also haha hes a virgin. And after that they are together.

That being said, in no way do I want to force the creators to change their characters into something they didnt envision them to be. But if you didnt plan it then stick to your actual plan and dont give people, who are starved for this kind of content, false hope so you can collect browny points and/or gain more viewers. And Im pretty sure making their interactions as gay as they are is a huge part why this show exploded so hard.

Also we should stop praising „browny point fishing creators“. (of any media)

In this case its absolutely valid to praise the creators of Good Omens for a good show, I liked the series too.  

But dont put them on the throne as saviors of the lgbt community.

((As I already mentioned, I liked the show, it was a cute little story with nice characters.

But I dont really want to invest my time and energy into supporting a noncanon pairing like I used to.

Its tiring and draining and ends in sadness. Id rather move on.))

This is a written mess and all over the place, so please do correct me on anything that I got wrong.

All I want to know is the truth.

#Good Omens #my opinion #my two cents #thanks for reading

[pathfindersemail]

inquisitorhierarch replied to your post “I’m surprised no one I follow is freaking out about Mike Laidlaw...”

EA also recently completely killed Visceral Game Studios, so Bioware is next on their chopping block, but nobody's really been talking about that either. I think everyone's got, like... bad EA news fatigue or something.

I’m sure most people have that fatigue - in conjunction with a lot of other non-videogame related bad news flooding everyone’s brains, dashes, and TVs. As for me tho...

I mention Mike Laidlaw, and I made some shitposts about how little I care about DA, because recently I’ve come to a conclusion wrt Bioware and my feelings on their seemingly inevitable end.

[sorry this is going to be partly controversial, but if anyone wants to respond, I better not find poor misreadings or any of my words taken out of context. Read below the cut?]

I kind of want Bioware to end, and Jess, I think you know more than anyone that I am not trying to be polemical or go on a “I hate Bioware!” rampage. And because you are my most thoughtful friend, I decided to use this opportunity to take our earlier fears about EA closing down Bioware into like idk a reflection/acceptance of when change needs to happen and what kind of change needs to happen.

For one, when I say I want “Bioware” to end, I don’t necessarily mean what... most people probably think I mean? Bioware stands for (to most people) a company that makes great single-player games, defined/recognizable by their innovations in character creation, world-building, and morality systems within the game narrative. The “Bioware” I want to end is the studio that has been subsumed not just commercially but creatively by a corporation like E.A., which is clearly stifling their potential.

At one point I loved the Dragon Age series, and I still love Mass Effect, but recent revelations about Gaider’s racist comments regarding Islam, the problematics of representing LGBT and/or characters of color, and the sloppy retconning of very Eurocentric allegorizations of history - among other problems - shows that Bioware peaked at some point. I don’t mean technologically speaking. I mean on a social level Bioware has stopped improving on what they were once innovators of and has since become a follower of commercially lackluster trends AT the expense of the marginalized groups they made games for.

To clarify, I am not saying everything Bioware made is therefore shit just because it isn’t the most ethically conscientious game out there. And I also still think that the writers behind the DA/ME games are all great, even if they had representational shortcomings and visions limited by a certain privileging of heteronormative whiteness. My passion for these games still stands.

But the departure of Laidlaw, even Gaider... and other lesser known members of the staff is a sign that even if Bioware stuck around, it clearly won’t have the same group of people (and by extension the same precepts and vision that made their games great). 

I think too the names I just listed off are a sign of clear structural problems: the persistent lack of diversity in the writing and developers’ rooms. I don’t mean to erase Gaider (who is gay and whose writing of Dorian is fantastic and at the same time based on his own experiences) and the other women who are behind Bioware. When I was in the Montreal comic con, the bioware panel was half men and half women. 

BUT, as far as I was concerned, they were overwhelmingly white, and despite gains in the video game industry, it also remains overwhelmingly heteronormative (a sin that Bioware isn’t like singularly responsible for).

What I am trying to get at is that whatever Bioware stood for at the height of its franchises is frankly gone. The people behind it are dispersing if not being laid off. Its priorities, though ostensibly still dedicated to “fans” (as to which fans? idk), have clearly shifted towards genres, media, and tropes it simply isn’t good at. What’s worse, it seems LGBT fans of color and women still have to do twice the legwork (if not more so) to get their voices heard over the cries and remonstrations of homophobic, “anti-sjw” assholes that dominate their market.

Not unlike Kojima’s departure and eventual freedom from Konami, we have to follow where these creators, developers, and writers are heading off to and where they are creating their new projects. I think it’s safe to say that the games we love will still be made. It might even be made by the same people! But it won’t be under the Bioware brand, and this might honestly be a good thing. 

Of course, while Bioware is still around, I think we should support its good content if it indeed still makes good content. None of what i am writing means we should work towards its destruction. I am just expressing more of an ambivalence to a company that has ceased to create the experiences I crave. 

#inquisitorhierarch

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters?

I feel like that show is like nearly unfair to ask because I feel like I already put all the thoughts into the A/Ns of my Shadowhunters fics. Like, if you’d go through them chronologically, you’d probably get the answer. But sure, I got a couple hours to spare to do it in one go :D

And sorry for the long wait, but I knew from the moment I got this ask that this one was going to be the longest. Gotta find the time to write that down too.

I, quite obviously, love the show. But it might also be one of the most flawed shows I’m currently watching.

The thing is, when I started watching it, I binged the first season after it first aired and then turned my back on it because it was just Not Good. Like, at that point I was 100% convinced I would not tune in for season 2.

About nine months later, my parents were interested in watching it - we have those family TV nights, it’s a tradition - and I figured, oh well, won’t kill me. And what can I say? I actually liked it more.

That is a hundred and fifty percent thanks to Amelie Plaas-Link.

Amelie lends her voice to Clary in the German dub - and she completely saved that show for me. Like, there’s a lot of plot that bothers me a lot about this show - and I will get into that in a moment - but my rule of thumb is “If I can’t stand the main character, I’m not gonna force it” (that rule was established when I finally managed to give up on Grey’s Anatomy after too many wasted years of trying to watch it for the sake of everything else).

Now, in the German dub I realized, she’s not that bad, it’s Katherine McNamara. Like, yeah, she’s a cutie and she looks good in the role. But she does not act well in that role. At least not in season 1. Season 2, she’s gradually getting better at acting, but oh dear, her performances in season 1 are downright painful. Her constant flat whining and the line-deliveries were so nerve-grading that not even the gloriousness that is Dominic Sherwood could have saved season 1 for me.

But Amelie Plaas-Link gives Clary a more grown-up feeling. She delivers the same dialogue, but with more conviction, more feeling and definitely less childishly high-pitched whining.

Where Katherine’s line-delivery makes Clary feel like a whiny, entitled brat, Amelie gives Clary the feeling of a traumatized, scared girl, which she should be.

So that rewatch in German? That was what ultimately got me hooked and made me watch season 2 in English - and yes, Katherine does get better in this season, thankfully enough.

Now let’s talk plot.

Season 1 forced the “Love at first sight” trope way too hard. Between Clary and Jace, as well as Magnus and Alec and even to an extend Simon and Isabelle gave the same vibe for like the first half of season 1. It’s like the writers instantly decided that to write a plotline that includes characters falling in love would be too exhausting to write?

I’m very grateful - but also confused - about the turn Simon and Izzy took. Where the first half really made it look as though he was instantly hooked on her and she was interested in him, they didn’t push that. I think they could have, you know, still let the two have screentime with each other in 2A because completely dropping all interactions between them was also not the best move, but I appreciate that they took 2B and have the two now slowly inching closer together again. To make this one love-story maybe an actual falling in love slowly thing instead of the love at first sight.

I don’t have the malice to get into why I dislike Clary and Jace as a couple. I just do. And that Jace instantly was so obsessed with her that he basically threw everything else over board for the sake of helping her just made the “hook” for that couple really awful for me. Like, you do not treat your family and friends like shit just because you’re busy mooning over a chick you literally just met. And yes, Jace is my favorite character, but his behavior in the first half of season 1 in particular was just not good.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do love the show and I had my “hook”. My hook being Jalec. That’s also the reason I started watching this show. If I’m going to repeat everything I said in A/Ns before, I’ll also repeat that part.

I watched the movie, back when it came out, and instantly adored Jalec and was hyped about it. Then there was no second movie. By the time the show rolled around, I only have vague recollection of two things - there was a female lead who seemed badass and there were a dark-haired grump who was canonically in love with a very cute blonde twink.

Show!Jalec are just such an improvement to movie!Jalec, to be honest. And yeah, every single parabatai-magic scene in season one had me at the edge of my seat squealing with OTP feels. When even Clary commented that that looked awfully intimate, I wildly agreed. They were just so precious, I loved it.

And then there was Malec. I was aware of its existence - after watching the movie, I went to the fandom sure that it must be flooded with Jalec, but instead there was only Alec with this guy who had like five minutes screen-time in the movie and wait what? So yeah, bit disappointed when I read online that Jalec was not endgame. And thus I also knew what to expect in the movie.

But it was, again, this love at first sight thing. At least on Magnus’ end. I do like how it took Alec some convincing, but generally their plotline was what I disliked the most about season 1 - not due to my personal feelings about the ship but due to how badly it was written.

It was the cheapest rom-com plot of all rom-com plots. “Let’s invent a female OC just for the sake of drama! And oh, let’s squeeze a wedding in here even though we are waaay too busy with actually important stuff!” and that Magnus literally came in the “Speak now or forever hold your piece” moment and Alec dashed over to him to kiss him.

I’m pretty sure this fandom would have at least a 100 better Malec fanfiction of how they could have gotten together, but the show just turned it into such an overused rom-com trope that was also so poorly executed.

Let’s be real, the “Malec” episode was a giant Malec fangirl using her old fic plot. It was so over the top, they should have gotten together on a private level and not in public literally in front of the whole Institute. It was way too rom-com… as Simon even points out afterward and yes, Simon’s reaction was exactly what I picture the writer must have squealed like when pitching the plot.

I really wish they had given the ship a more dignified way to set sails instead of such an over-the-top squeaky fangirl fanfiction way. And yes, I’m aware I’m hitting a stone-wall with the shippers there because they’re just happy their ship sailed, but what I’m saying is there could have and should have been a better written way to make them sail.

Not to mention the reactions. I’m sorry, but… Robert and Maryse took that shit like fucking saints! Like. Seriously. This isn’t even about Alec being gay, this is about Alec being the one to propose to someone, Alec being the one to try and better their family’s image by doing so and then Alec kissing someone else in the middle of the wedding with everyone watching.

As a parent, I would have been furious. It was Alec’s idea to rush this proposal. Yes, a political marriage was the idea of his parents, but Alec chose Lydia and Alec was the one who decided to rush this whole thing.

And then they have this glorious wedding where I’m assuming everyone with a name and who is important was present because the whole purpose of the wedding was to better the Lightwood name and to do so you gotta show off. And then Alec just rans off into the arms of not just someone else but a male Downworlder.

And even without that “male Downworlder” part, this would have already been a publicity nightmare for the Lightwood family, but considering their society and what we heard and learned of Shadowhunters to that point, the “male” alone would have been an outrage but the “Downworlder” part on top of it should have like… caused at least some outrace? A little bit? But it was all totally polite. And yes, the Lightwood parents expressed their distain but let’s be real for a second, that was justified.

If my kid came out to me like that and then introduced a centuries old guy to me with the word “No, no, we’re not dating, it’s love” - because it wasn’t at that point, it wasn’t about the true love get together but about Alec admitting to his own sexuality and I do like that addition and that they acknowledged it instead of looking at it through pink-tinted glasses, but honestly that must have been such an additional blow? Like, “Okay, you just ruined our reputation. For a guy. Who’s a Downworlder. But at least it’s True Love, right?”, grasping for straws but then to have your son essentially laugh in your face?

Holy shit, during that whole scene, Robert and Maryse were saints, in my eyes. I mean, this could have gone down way different. On a homophobic level, on a racist against Downworlders level, on a ruined reputation level. There were a lot of angles that could have been used to have either or both Lightwoods lash out and for Alec to face serious reprecussions, but instead he just got a mild warning about how he should watch out because the guy he chose had quite the reputation. And like? Wow, you had more luck than brains there, Alec.

So yes, as someone who loathes rom-com movies because they’re brainless and have the most ridiculous excuses for loads of drama that could be avoided if people talked to each other, the way they handled Malec’s getting together was just not satisfying to watch.

On that note, I want to talk about Magnus for a moment. I love the guy! Magnus was literally my biggest surprise in this show, because going in, I was semi determined and sure Magnus would end up being a character I wouldn’t like because he gets in the way of my OTP and I get very protective over my OTPs. Instead, he became my second favorite character within the first season.

His flourish, his charms, his wit, his smirks, his outfits, his magic, his personality - literally everything about him. Magnus Bane is amazing and I love him - and Harry Shum Jr only makes him all the better. He plays him so brilliantly, I was baffled. I only knew Harry from Glee and he didn’t get a lot of chances to really act there because he was such a background character, but oh boy, that guy can act.

And thus my OT3 for this show was born, because is Jalec is OTP and Malec is canon, let’s just throw them all together and see how Magnus and Jace work (spoiler: they work so well and Jagnus fast rose up to become my second favorite pairing for this franchise).

So, as you might have noticed at this point, this particular review is a bit of a mess and all over the place, but let’s stay with the characters for a while.

Simon didn’t really do enough to get me interested in him until season 2. Like, he was just… there. Like in the movie (I legit do not remember a single thing about him in the movie). And while the same could be said about movie!Izzy, she did really get me hooked in season 1 already.

I love it when the gorgeous, sexy girls are also smart and can kick ass. It’s normally either only one of those three very amplified or a “You can have two out of three”-kind of deal. Very rarely *cough* Buffy *cough* do you get all three of them. And boy, is that woman gorgeous and deadly.

Let’s circle back to Lydia for a second. I know she’s a show OC and she was really literally only created for the above mentioned rom-com drama, but she shot up to become my third favorite Shadowhunters character. Particularly due to the “Malec” episode, because she took that was so much grace and kindness.

I would have slapped Alec in the face? Like? No matter that it’s a political marriage and neither of them are in for the fuzzy feels. If I get a wedding dress and got important people watching me… and then my groom-to-be runs off with the High Warlock? Wow. That woman definitely has more understanding than imaginable. The way she handled and took that made me admire her for her strength and kindness and it really made me headcanon very hard that Alec and Lydia would become the best of friends (Lydia needs to return to the show).

Since we’re circling through characters here; Luke. Luke was the first thing that really got my attention in the show, because Oh my gosh, it’s the Old Spice Guy! I love that guy! And his voice! *squeal*. Which, yes, that was exactly my reaction when Luke first showed up. I really like Luke and I love the change they did from the book, that he’s a cop here. It just… fits really well, to get them involved with those cases, to have an in into all the supernatural attacks through the cop investigating them.

I just wish that, down the road, that would have been a bit more fleshed out. With Luke and Alaric being partners, both being wolves, I kind of assumed that the precinct was crawling with Downworlders and that they were… organized. Which would just make so much sense, world-building wise. You infiltrate police, hospitals and fire departments with Downworlders, you have a network of them to control Downworlder business leaking into the mortal world. But if they’re not aware of each other, or end up partnered with a mundane, that’s just… chaos. And aren‘t Downworlders really around long enough to actually organize this?

I would have expected the captain to be a Downworlder, who keeps track on the Downworlders on his force and specifically asigns them the Downworld-related cases and keeps the mundies busy with mundie stuff. That is what would make sense, to me. And that is what’s lacking. They started the police-thing with a good idea behind it, but they didn’t flesh it out in a way that would have made more sense in the context of this world.

Now, the last character I want to get into is Camille. Camille doesn’t make sense to me. She’s the powerful leader of the vampires of New York, which sounds like a good deal. She’s been around for a long time so she must know how to survive.

But… still she just randomly decides to turn a totally random mundane into a vampire, even though she must have known the price it’d cost her? Why would she risk that, aside from “We need it for plot because we need vampire!Simon”? That was one of those writing decisions again that just happened for the sake of plot.

Other things about season 1 that bother me and were poorly put together/written out (to wrap season 1 up and move on to season 2):

Circle members frolicking outside of cells. This is a point that will be proven by season 2 again and again too, but we already encounter it in season one with not just Hodge but also the Lightwood parents. They’re essentially the Shadowhunters equivalent to Nazis and terrorists, Circle members I mean, but… they get off with a slap of the wrist? Because they… changed? Imagine real life news about someone involved in the Third Reich and who pleads he got better. Yeah, no, you going to jail for crimes against humanity, man. That those three not just didn’t get thrown into the City of Bones, but also get to walk around freely and that, on top of that, the Lightwoods seriously are the heads of the Institute? Like? Imagine that. I mean, really truly imagine that, former terrorists get to basically work in the White House. Something just doesn’t feel right there. And yes, the Lightwoods did change… but Hodge didn’t. And if they had fucking thrown their former terrorists into cells to rot in, then the entire thing about the Mortal Cup wouldn’t have happened. It’s just, and we’ll get back to this for season 2A, the juridical system of the Shadowhunters is juridiculous.

The fact that no one questions anything in this show, if being oblivious fits the plot. Like, when Clary and Jace went to that parallel world where they were dating and then moments later, learn that they’re siblings. And neither of them pause and think “Mh, how utterly strange that Valentine was a good guy and good dad to Clary in that alternate reality, but that Jace wasn’t raised as her brother then? And that they were dating and neither Jocelyn nor Valentine had any problem with that? Mh. Maybe that is worth investigating. Maybe we should like make a blood-test to see if the sociopathic manipulator really told us the truth.”. I mean, science exists in this world. How does no one make a test but instead just take the words of the genocidal maniac at face value? How is that a thing? Aside for the purpose of plot and tension.

Same goes for the reveal of Michael Wayland being alive slash not alive. Like. “Oh, wow, we found a guy in a closet in Chernobyl where we were brought to find Valentine and changing faces is A Thing Shadowhunters Can Do Easily, but we won’t question it at all” - even without the thought that Valentine could have been Michael Wayland all along.

Which brings me to the first time I legit was impressed by Clary. Because she actually didn’t buy it and she didn’t let Valentine fool her into giving him the Mortal Cup and I was Very Relieved by that because at that point, the story-telling was just too many convenient closed-eyes and turned-aways to allow plot to continue. It wasn’t clever writing, it was forced writing - and I’m not a fan of that.

If you have to force your characters to do Stupid Shit that doesn’t make sense if one were to use at least half their brain, just for the sake of creating obstacles and making the plot last longer, then I got some bad news about your writing abilities. They are not good. Because a good writer would be able to achieve those things in a natural flow and create tensions that fit the plotline instead of forcing a square through a hole, so to speak.

So yes, all the things I just mentioned as badly written character and plot decisions in season 1 were the reason I decided that I wouldn’t put up with season 2, topped off by my dislike for how Clary being played.

Then I rewatched season 1 with a superior dub for Clary and that improved the show a lot - seriously, the main character is a very important key-figure and it’s supposed to hold the show together if that falls flat, then the whole show might come apart by the seams. I also really fell even more in love with Jace when rewatching it and by the end of season one, when he sacrifices himself to keep his friends safe, I was left thinking “Okay, I really wanna know what happens to the puppy and if he’ll be safe”.

So I watched season 2.

I genuinely feel like they switched writers for that season, because season 2 has an entirely different feeling than season 1.

Where season 1 had a lot of awkward writing, it at least did have better pacing. Season 2 had more evened-out writing, but awful pacing (particularly in season 2B).

Season 2. Let me start off by what I said earlier I’d get back into; the juridiculous system of the Shadowhunters. The above mentioned unpunished terrorists aside, they throw Jace in jail. Like. He got abducted and tortured - and you see the torture on him when he arrives, he was not having a fun trip with daddy dearest. But they just… torture him even more and then throw him in jail? A society that fails to punish its own terrorists throws a victim into jail? And something just really went very wrong there.

And let me stay on the note on how ridiculous the Shadowhunters’ society and particularly their politics really are.

They change leaders more often than some people change their socks, for fuck’s sake. We started season 1 out with Robert and Maryse in charge. By 1x08, Lydia Branwell arrives and takes over. By 2x01, Victor Aldertree is the leader. But that changes when in 2x11 Imogen Herondale takes over, but no worries she passes on the mantel to Jace in 2x13, who instantly passes it on to Alec.

They have a total of seven leaders of the New York Institute within two season. Seven. That’s pathetically ridiculous. Whenever one thing goes wrong, their immediate solution is “put a new boss in charge” and their preferred method of doing so is “get someone who has no idea about the NY Institute”, like Lydia or Victor or Imogen. I mean, holy shit, how is that a thing? They’re in the middle of a war and instead of reinforcing their troops and helping out, they just change the leader to confuse everyone and make their own troops even more unstable? Wow.

Not to mention that, while personally I think Alec is a very good leader, he should have never gotten the position? I mean, Jace was more of a stand-in appointed by Imogen and how did neither she nor the Clave have any protests when Jace appointed Alec Lightwood, after the entire point of this game of musical chairs was to remove the Lightwoods from their position in power? Within two episodes of him being head, the Clave should have come knocking at their doors and, considering their track-record so far, put a new envoy to the Clave as the head instead of Lightwood Junior.

Moving on. Let’s get back into characters, because another major player is introduced this season. Maia Roberts.

I’m inclined to say that I don’t like Maia’s character, but then I feel like I can’t really say that because she doesn’t have a character. She is the single best example of this show’s inconsistent writing. It baffles me. I want to like her and I like the idea of her and I like how fanfiction interprets her, but her show version?

It’s ridiculous. She is introduces as “I don’t give a fuck about laws, I will downright murder you even though I have no proof at all that you’re actually the killer of my friend and even after it’s revealed you’re innocent, all you get is a lot of shit from me”. Then she changes into this cool character as a friend of Simon’s, who’s understanding and sweet. And then she flips the switch back on as she goes onto “I don’t give a fuck about laws, I will downright murder you because you could potentially active that Soul Sword and I don’t care that you’re my Alpha’s daughter, essentially, and that we could look for a better solution”. And then she switches right back to Simon’s friend who is cool. But then she goes back to being a total bitch toward Jace once again and acts like she really hates him - which, okay, I could live with because not everyone has to be friends with everyone - but then she sleeps with him.

Most of the time, show!Maia feels like they should have invented a second character and split her plotline up into the homicidal maniac bitch OFC and Maia, the good friend of Simon and loyal pack-member of Luke’s. Because those two characters squeezed into one? They clash. Trying to murder Clary clashes with being absolutely devoted to Luke, as she has been at literally every other instance of this show. Sometimes, I’m convinced show!Maia might be bipolar or schizophrenic, because those manic phases and mood swings kind of remind me of that.

Let’s talk about Victor Aldertree. While not being a Circle member, he’s is not a good guy either and he should have never become head of the Institute to begin with.

From his questionable methods of torturing one of his own soldiers who got abducted by the enemy, to randomly torturing Raphael a little later and best of all, getting one of his soldiers addicted to drugs.

I mean. There is? No fucking way? That Victor didn’t know how addictive Yin Fen is? He literally warns Isabelle about it, but he warns her in a “This stuff is addictive, watch out. Here, have the entire jar of it, I totally trust you not to get addicted and use it moderately even though it would have been ethically correct to order you to come to me or the infirmary once a day to have it applied”-kind of way that’s just really not right? And I have literally no idea why. If he were a Circle member and if this was a method to sabotage the good guys - getting her not just hooked on drugs but preventing her from entering the citadele - that would have made sense. But Aldertree isn’t a Circle member, so what exactly was his motivation behind this…?

And while we’re at it, let’s talk about Jocelyn.

I do not like Jocelyn. I mean, that woman is a walking Bad Decision after the other. From the moment she decided that having her daughter’s memories wiped instead of telling her truth would be a good idea? Even if she never introduced Clary to the Shadowhunters, she could have at least taught her that it was real and that Clary needed to watch out. Particularly as a child, Clary was vulnerable to attacks and she would have been safer if she too knew what to look out for. Not to mention the incredibly invasive decision to wipe Clary’s memories.

But hey, at least she’s a bad mom to all her kids, so there’s that. I mean, in that brief time she thought Jace to be her son, she shot him with the intention to kill him. Not based on anything Jace - or Jonathan - did recently, but solemnly based on the fact that baby!Jonathan had the ability to kill plants.

Based on something a toddler who couldn’t even talk or walk or use the potty did, she decided that her son was irredeemable. That he never learned how to control his powers - just like he never learned how to talk or walk or use the toilet, right? Because we have completely reached our full potential as toddlers and can not be taught anything anymore, right? Especially not control, of course.

Even if Jace had been Jonathan, there was a huge chance that he could have learned to control his powers over the past eighteen years. Because I actually believe that if Jonathan hadn’t been raised by the cruel, soulless and heartless Valentine, he too would have had a chance to learn how to control his urges and powers.

Not to mention, killing a couple plants is not exactly evil incarnated. If he had used his powers and accidentally killed like… the neighbors. Oh yeah. Heck, even just the neighbor’s cat would have already been more justified. But it were just a couple flowers that a baby who could not even control his bladder yet had killed.

Holy shit, you’re the worst mother on this planet. A good mom would have tried talking to her son first, would have clung to the smallest chance of hope that her son wasn’t the Antichrist. Instead, she doesn’t take any of the very valid doubts that sprung to my mind instantly even remotely into consideration and immediately decides to kill her own son.

Yeah no, I’m not sad that they killed her character off.

Let’s move on to happier topics, because I’m already getting a headache here.

Jace moving in with Magnus will forever be the best decision this show made and I will always cherish it and to my dying day, Jace is living with Magnus at the loft in all my fics and no one will ever take that away from me.

Ithuriel looked pathetic when we first met him. Like, I get that he was run down and exhausted, but his wings were the cheapest props I’ve ever seen. You can literally go to any convention ever and you’d find at least two cosplayers who made more convincing and realistic wings than that cheap shit and I am quite frankly embarrassed by what the show pulled there.

Not to mention, those angelic powers are Really Plot Convenient. Once again.

Clary and Jace share the same angelic blood. But the angel only calls out to Clary. Because if he’d also call out to Jace, then we might get suspicious that he doesn’t have demon blood, so conveniently that only works on one. And conveniently, Jace’s angelic blood powers only kick in after he is told that he even has them - and never-ever before in his entire life. Sure.

I do not support the show’s decision on making Raphael feed on Isabelle. He is old and experienced and asexual enough to deny her. And yes, that last one also plays into this, because if Raph was just a straight horn-dog, then I would have bought the old and experienced vampire being tempted by young, gorgeous, sexy Isabelle into feeding her and then also having sex with her. But since that angle falls flat, I really don’t see why that old and experienced vampire would have been weak enough to be tempted into that.

Robert and Maryse. Oh gods, I’m so angry about this, I don’t know if I have the energy to type it out.

I hate Maryse Lightwood and fuck you, show, for attempting the cheapest, flatest, dumbest redemption-arc in the history of redemption-arcs! Just fuck you!

Maryse Lightwood is Not A Good Mom and Not A Good Person.

She made Isabelle’s life a hell so far by emotionally abusing her. And yes, I see the way Maryse treated Isabelle as abuse. She has hugs and warm smiles for her sons while she treats Isabelle like… Cinderella, essentially. She has nothing but coldness and disappointment for her daughter and I’m sure that emotionally crippled her.

Maryse told Alec, when Jace was still on board of the Morning Star, that he should abandon his parabatai. Not just his adopted brother and best friend, but his parabatai. She, who she adopted Jace and should view him as her son, tells her biological son to cut all ties. She also can’t make the time to be at her son’s bedside when he is literally dying because he’s trying to use the parabatai-bond to find Jace.

Maryse repeatedly tells Max that Jace isn’t his brother, because a child that age doesn’t pick shit like that up after only once. She said it often enough to warp Max’s mind to the point that Max flat-out tells Jace to his face that he isn’t his brother.

And after Jace’s fears manifested thanks to that demon at Magnus’ loft during the runeing party, and he actually apologizes as though he has done something wrong, she needs to be arrogant about with that high-and-mighty “No, stop. I don’t want to hear your apologies”, visibly deflating Jace just to continue as though it’s a grand gesture “I’m the one who should apologize to you”. Fuck yes, you should? You gave up on him when he was abducted and tortured, you didn’t stand at his side when he was thrown in jail and you told both his brothers that he’s not their brother like he’s not even part of your family.

And then the show puts the weakest excuse ever up as a reasoning? A sob-story on how Robert cheated on her? Oh, if you know me a little you know where I stand on cheating - cheats are the scum of the Earth. But being cheated on does not justify that kind of behavior. Fuck, it doesn’t justify any of it and even though cheating should not have been the solution - a fucking divorce would have been - I completely understand why Robert sought out love from someone who, I don’t know, doesn’t have a heart of ice? Yes, he should have gotten divorced from her and cheating is Not Okay, but just because your husband cheated on you, that doesn’t make you as The Victim all of a sudden a good person? The whole “Something bad happens to character and suddenly everyone coddles character and everything is forgiven”-plotline is the most pathetic cop-out imaginable and neither of her four children should have that easily forgiven her past wrong-doings just because she sobs a little.

It is not a justification for child neglect or child abuse when your husband cheats on you. It is not.

Robert, I don’t give a flying fuck about. Like, in season 1 he was set up to be the better parent of the Lightwoods, but now he’s sorted into the category of scum of the Earth, so yeah. I vote for Luke to adopt the Lightwood kids and be done with it.

The reveal that Jace is not Clary’s brother was, again, so forced and awkward. Like, touching the sword makes you say the truth but only if you’re actually asked something and Valentine essentially blurts out all the things even though he doesn’t have to? Just for the sake of reassuring Clary and Jace shippers that their ship would still be able to sail? Really?

The entire eleventh episode of season 2 is just one giant fucking mess, if I’m being honest. Like, if you’d ask me to point out the most flawed episode of the show? This would be it. “Mea Maxima Culpa” even beats “Malec”, because that episode was only messy due to an overdose of forced rom-com elements. This episode however is a total mess.

First we got Isabelle, who’s trying to get over her addiction but still Alec leaves her unsupervised in a fit of Very Bad Withdrawl, which was already Bad Decision 1.

Then Isabelle goes out to find vemon, is attacked by the demon and decides to go home with total stranger Sebastian Verlac, Bad Decision 2. For all she knows, he could have been a Circle member, for heaven’s sake. His story was so shady and that odd coincident of “Hey, I was addicted to Yin Fen too!”.

Sebastian offers her a wonder-drug that’s supposed to help her overcome her addiction faster, but she never heard of it - and she still takes it. She takes a drug from a total stranger that’s supposed to speed up recovery. That is literally how her Yin Fen addiction started, for fuck’s sake. Bad Decision 3.

Isabelle stays with Sebastian instad of immediately returning, or at the very least instantly calling her brothers to let them know that she was alive and safe. After all, she was attacked by that greater demon so she knows there’s something dangerous going on and she should have known that Alec would notice she left. Bad Decision 4.

They don’t track her fucking cellphone. She disappears and they don’t track her cellphone - which regular mundanes can do, for heaven’s sake - and we see her having her phone at Sebastian’s. Bad Decision 5.

They don’t track her runes. In a later episode, we learn that the Clave can track all their Shadowhunters via their runes. So how do they not use her runes to track her? Bad Decision 6.

No, instead of any those things, they of course decide to go and as Valentine for help. That sounds like it should be more than just Bad Decision 7, really.

But it’s instantly followed by Bad Decisions 8 and 9 - because both Clary and Jace, out of everyone, think that listening to Valentine of all people is in any way or shape a good idea. Out of all the characters in this show, those two should really know best not to trust the manipulative asshole, who also happens to be locked into a cell so why should he know anything about what is going on outside.

Bad Decision 10 goes to Magnus for actually helping the idiot Shadowhunters in summoning a Greater Demon. That in itself sounds like such a bad idea, but considering that idea was suggested by Valentine, how in the world does the High Warlock not nope out of that and whack them upside the heads?!

So, yeah, I consider season 2 episode 11 to be the lowest point of the show, because its writing has more plot-holes than is justifyable for an entire season of a show, much less for one episode. It comes off as so forced due to the bad writing and they should have worked through this in a way that would have made at least a little sense.

How exactly is ‘Sebastian Verlac’ not instantly thrown into the City of Bones? He literally abandoned his Institute. Isn’t that high treason? Like, the exact same thing Jace got thrown into jail for? At the very least they should have questioned him? A lot? About why he abandoned his Institute and why he came to New York. And if not the Clave, at the very least our Shadowhunters should have been so much more suspicious.

But what I legit hate is how they reveal from the first episode on that he’s not a good guy. I haven’t read the books so when this new character came dashing in, saving Isabelle, he could have been a good guy. But they had to ruin it - in episode 11 already - by showing how Sebastian burns his own hand over the stove and you instantly know “This guy ain’t sane or good. Something’s seriously wrong with him” and that just… it completely ruins the reveal of him being not a good guy. Sure, the show caters to the book-readers, but couldn’t we like pretend that a lot of people actually have their first contact with this story through the show? And it would have been an amazing reveal later on, if we had Sebastian introduced as just this random new good guy, in the same way Lydia had entered the show later in season 1, to just join the cast. If we came to trust him like Isabelle did.

But instead, they instantly ruin the surprise and then they just… don’t really use Sebastian? I mean, he really doesn’t do a lot in the whole infiltration thing? They could have really used him better, made him actually a part of the team, have him properly befriend - or more - Isabelle, have him properly try to get to know Clary and Jace. But he just… awkardly stands in the background and then pushes himself onto the missions. The entire Sebastian-Jonathan plotline could have been written so much better so it’d have been an actual huge surprise.

I really don’t wanna get into the racism debate of 2x13, to be honest. It was handled and written so poorly. The message was clear, but… it felt so entirely out of place and forced. If those killings of Shadowhunters would have started a couple episodes before then already and we’d have build-up to this, but to squeeze it all into one episode and have the Shadowhunters instantly snap from “We’re supposed to protect mundanes and Downworlders” to “Let’s racially profile all the Downworlders and also right away start chipping them like dogs” was just… too much. It would have come off as a slightly more… believable reaction if the panic about the attacks had been looming for a little longer, but this way it was just far too forced and came off as a very strong over-reaction from them and not as something those characters would believably do.

I dislike how Aline was treated like such a throw-away character. They introduce this new Shadowhunter and have her barely be in any scenes before she leaves again. The lack of recognizable non-main character Shadowhunters on the show is one of my big problems with it, actually.

I mean, Isabelle, Alec and Jace grew up in that Institute. But aside from Raj… there’s kind of no Shadowhunter who actually gets a speaking role? Did they never make any friends? Like? I want to see casual interactions between them and other Shadowhunters, I want reoccuring faces with names. I want Alec to send not just the main characters on missions, but like have nine people on the meeting and Alec assigning teams and us seeing other Shadowhunters being sent out there too. Because the show mainly feels and comes off as “We have Alec, Jace, Isabelle and Clary. They handle All The Missions, while all other Shadowhunters just aimlessly walk around in the background”.

And when they introduced Aline, I thought we’d get another reoccuring Shadowhunter who is friends with them and who has, even if just brief, interactions with them. Instead, she’s right away sent off again.

The Seelie Court was also painful to watch. That Clary was doe-eyed enough to let Simon tag along, I’ll buy. But that Jace can’t stand his ground was just ridiculous. And that Simon was actually dumb enough to think that being vice-class-president in middle school qualifies him to meet a millennia old supernatural queen is pathetic. That episode would have been more believable if they hadn’t written in that clause about how only Jace and Clary were supposed to go on a mission. If they had just set it up as a regular mission and Simon as part of the team would have made this feel so much less forced.

Also, that episode and what followed was what officially made me dislike Clary. In season 1, she just annoyed me due to the actress’ shortcomings. In the German dub of it and then in season 2A, I actually grew very fond of Clary.

But Clary dating Simon, who has been pathetically in love with her for so many years, just to try and get over her feelings for Jace, but then failing and still being hung up on Jace, but not enough to actually give him a chance, was just… a sign of bad character, really. And I mean “personality”-character here, not “fictional character”-character.

How she had to tell Jace that it meant nothing and then just… avoided him from there on out was so childish and annoying. And the return of season 1′s whiny, entitled Clary when she kept bothering Simon and trying to cling onto Simon and force herself back into his life was just so not appreciated by me. Like. You just broke his heart? And you expect him to right away be okay again and be there for you? Holy shit, you really are an entitled, self-centered brat, no, stop it, I had grown fond of you, damn it, keep it together, Fray.

I feel like I should also mention Dot before I get closer to the end of this. Her character doesn’t make much sense too. Like, to me, she already died like four times. Every single time she appears, I am literally surprised because I thought she died the last time we saw her. But still, she always returns and it confuses me so much? Because if she keeps living, how is Clary not more determined to save her from Valentine?

And then she finally is freed and suddenly, she’s… Magnus’ ex-girlfriend? Whut? That was a really weird moment to me, personally. Because the two of them felt more like old acquaintances, certainly not like friends and especially not like former lovers, back when we saw them first interact in season 1. When she nearly kissed Magnus, knowing he had a boyfriend, she completely fell through for me. As before mentioned, cheats are the scum of the Earth - and that goes for both parties. If you tempt someone who’s in a relationship and you know that other person is in a relationship, you’re a fucking asshole who’s deliberately hurting the person the cheater is actually dating so fuck you too. I’m really glad that Magnus pulled back before kissing her, that his integrity was preserved there.

I hate that it even got that far - because Magnus can’t talk to Alec at all. Like. Malec is an unhealthy relationship in the sense that they completely lack communication and that is the key element to a healthy relationship. They don’t talk about anything. Ever. It takes Alec far too long to push Magnus about the body-switch trauma. Magnus never voices when something is bother him - like how Alec was seriously rude and unfair to Magnus when he learned about Isabelle’s drug addiction, or how Magnus was obviously not a fan of separating their work and romantic relationships. But instead of talking to Alec about these things, because Alec has never been in a relationship before so a few guidance pointers would be appreciated and communication is key to a healthy relationship, he just swallows everything Alec says and does with a sharp not of the head, until it all becomes too much and he explodes and breaks up with Alec. Which, yeah, everything considered and topped off by the lie about the Soul Sword, totally reasonable conclusion to be honest.

It was obvious they’d get back together because they’re canon’s endgame, but I don’t think they should have gotten together before the end of the season already. That should have been one of the hooks for season 3. “Stay tuned to see them get back together again!”, because you can not tell me that any Malec fan watching was seriously heartbroken in the sense that they believed this to be the end of their ship. Of course will they get together again, but I’d have preffered for it to be a slower process of actually talking about their feelings and mending that they broke in the course of season 2B, because both of them made mistakes. Instead, it’s again a rushed mess of “And they’re back on track! No worries!”, even though there really was never anything to worry about, because everyone knew they were going to get back together.

And on the note of rushed things toward the finale, let’s talk about the Mortal Mirror.

This show and its characters have an amazing track-record of missing the obvious. It took them decidedly too long to figure out where the Mortal Cup was, it took them way too long to realize the Soul Sword was not “in the citadel for cleaning purposes” (what the fuck kind of bad lie was that anyway? Like? How did not everyone instantly know that while Valentine had been captured, the Soul Sword had been stolen by a third party?”.

But Clary instantly knows that not only was the pocket-mirror a ruse, she also right away realizes that the real Mortal Mirror is a lake - and she even instantly figures out it’s Lake Lyn?! Particularly that last one was downright unrealistic for her to already realize. That was, really, an act of “We’re on episoe 18 of 20 so we need to make something happen that moves plot forward because we don’t have the time for them to slowly and realistically figure out where the Mortal Mirror is”.

Personally, I think the entire second season had the potential to be two seasons, if you had stretched it to twice the size and for that, slowed down the pacing and had the twists and turns more realistically. It’d also have given for more character interactions and sub-plots, like for example on Luke because until the last fourth of the season, him being pack Alpha and having wolf-problems really fell flat.

Okay, three more things and I’m done.

First of all, the Seelie Queen. Her obsession with Simon is just creepy. And Simon is a total moron for not just provoking her and thus leading to Maia’s abduction, but for then striking a deal with her to free Maia instad of consulting Magnus and Luke and literally anyone else for help first.

The main characters believing that Sebastian|Jonathan died when he was stabbed and pushed off the bridge was just embarrassing. I mean, not to sound like Simon, but do Shadowhunters not watch movies? At all? The bad guy never dies when pushed off a bridge, they always manage to crawl on land. Not just did the show use such an overused trope here, but they also didn’t have scouts out to find said body? Really? Really?

And the very last thing is Jace’s death. The death itself was good. I liked how he was literally stabbed in the heart by his father-figure. All the angst. Love that.

Clary has a serious problem with letting people stay dead though. Let’s turn Simon into a vampire. Let’s owe a shady warlock some kind of unknown favor so she brings back mom. Let’s ask the angel to bring back Jace.

Not to mention that I find it nearly baffling that, considering unlike in the books, the show killed Jocelyn first, Clary wouldn’t wish for her mother to be back. Or, at least phrase the wish differently “I wish those I love would be back”, or something along those lines.

Way too fast. Jace’s death, just like Malec’s reuinion, should have been left hanging for season 3. It should have ended with a cliffhanger as Jace lays dead and we see Alec’s reaction to that death.

Because - and say it with me, children - it was obvious that he wouldn’t stay dead. As obvious as the fact that Magnus and Alec would get back together. He’s literally the male lead of this show and that kinda status keeps you safe from permanent death. Especially with a franchise taking place in a supernatural world where virtually everything is possible.

Instead, Jace is brought back like three minutes after dying. And it’s such a let-down. Those would have been two huge hooks for viewers to keep them on their toes for season 3, without being risky hooks, aka hooks that run the risk of chasing viewers away and making them stop watching out of protest. Because everyone who seriously thought Jace would stay dead or Magnus and Alec wouldn’t get back together, well, I marvel at their ability to completely turn off their brains while watching a TV show. Safe but suspenseful hooks for the next season.

And that, to sum it all up briefly, is one of the show’s biggest problems. It doesn’t know how to handle suspense. Every time something happens that is potentially suspenseful, they ruin it somehow - by the instant reveal of Sebastian being not a normal guy, by instantly bringing Jace back, by rushing all of their big reveals all the time.

I am praying so hard for the pacing of this show to be better in season 3. For them to take things slower and stop rushing them, keep suspense to give it the chance to properly build up.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this show. I truly do. Among all the shows I watched, it easily climbed up to my number 5 spot of favorite TV shows. But I don’t believe in the concept of blindly loving anything. I need to be able to see its flaws even if I love it. And this show is very flawed.

#ask me a show and I shall rant #TV Rants #Fandom Rants #Shadowhunters #I love it but it's flawed #it's so flawed #comet13

[maggieisalarrie]

Titles: A

A Cauldron of Love by zimriya (27k)

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, yes,” Niall interrupts finally. “Harry’s been in love with Louis Tomlinson since that time in second year when he went and accidentally peed on him.”

Harry turns to face him, horrified. “Niall!” he squeaks out. “You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone about that!”

Niall just shrugs and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Aw, come off it, Hazza, was it really a secret?” When Harry doesn’t say anything, he pauses and looks up. “It was?” he says. “Ah, bollocks.”

A Hogwarts AU.

A Harmony of Frost and Flames by londoniscalling (13k)

"He’s passing lockers and whistling a quiet tune when he first smells it. His body comes to a halt and his nostrils flair instinctively, eyes going wide as he registers what the scent resembles.

An omega in heat."

OR

Louis goes into his first heat at school and Harry accidentally puts them into a compromising position.

A Harmony of Frost and Flames Extended Epilogue by londoniscalling (7k)

Sequel to A Harmony of Frost and Flames.

A Long Way From The Playground by nightwideopen (11k)

Louis is a single dad who is having a lonely life crisis and Harry is a doctor that carries around princess band-aids in his pocket.

Scraped knees make grown men bond, apparently.

A Million One, A Million Two (a Hundred More Will Never Do) by LittleLostPieces (42k)

While Harry doesn’t want to spend his final year at Wilshire Academy sharing his space with yet another idiot roommate, he figures he could have ended up with a lot worse than Niall. As the school’s newest scholarship student, Niall provides a fresh perspective on Harry’s privileged life, as well as a grounding presence when Harry’s other friends, Liam and Zayn, are acting like lunatics. Most importantly, though, Niall introduces him to Louis, a cynical townie with zero interest in spending his time around entitled boarding school kids. Convincing Louis that he’s more than a trust fund and a charming smile won’t be easy, but Harry’s never been one to back down from a challenge.

An AU loosely inspired by the short-lived WB drama, Young Americans, and the Gotta Be You music video.

A New Buzz by stylesoftheshire (7k)

‘No way,’ Louis says, shaking his head disbelievingly. ‘Only you would come out to your best friend by making him buy you a fucking dildo.’

The classic tale of how Louis helps Harry purchase a vibrator and later helps him use it.

a prayer for which no words exist by Eliane (34k)

"Louis is a few seconds away from blowing up a rather important section of the New York subway when he sees Harry for the first time."

A Run At The Past by hostagesfic (11k)

Harry doesn’t expect it to happen while Gemma’s in Australia. He’s not lonely, this time, with plenty to do and the adrenaline of the end of tour, the excitement of going back to Japan. And Gemma, of course, her jokes at his expense and her flirting with Niall and her hugs for every occasion, the way she looks like mum when she scolds him half-heartedly. There’s no reason it should happen.

He wakes up in Louis’ bed anyway.

a runaway american dream by dangerbears (15k)

AU. they take route 66 with only each other and their secrets.

a virgin to that money by eversincewefellapart (7k)

AU. Harry and Louis are broke university students who hate each other and make a sex tape. (In which Louis gets fucked a lot, Harry can't find the camera, and the road to falling in love is different for everyone.)

Accidents Happen by lanaboo222 (19k)

Harry is accident prone and Louis is a volunteer minor emergency worker. They meet a lot and things happen.

Ace by aclosetlarryshipper (32k)

It’s real. He can’t keep denying it. Denial has just made things more difficult. Acceptance is the first stage to anything.

Louis sniffles and pulls the sun visor down, flipping it open to reveal the mirror. He stares into his own icy eyes, grimacing at the red rim around the edges.

He tries to say the words, but they still feel too final and condemning.

or

The sexuality crisis you probably haven't read.

Adore You by isthatyoularry (67k)

“We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.

Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.

Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.

Ain’t My Fault by afirethatcannotdie (7k)

“Liam, M4M is for sex! You posted in a sex forum about your missing jacket.”

“It is not for sex!”

“It is. Trust me.”

“Well, if it helps me find my jacket then I don’t really see why it matters. Besides, someone already texted me about it. This Styles guy’s coming over in a bit to get it.”

“You invited the avocado man to come get his jacket at our flat after posting on a sex forum. Do you see where this is going?”

“I really don’t.”

“Someone is going to have to have sex with the avocado man!” Louis screeches, and Liam covers his ears.

AU. Liam posts an ad on the wrong section of Craigslist, Louis is pretty sure they’re gonna get murdered as a result, and Harry’s missing an avocado.

all i want for christmas is by crybaby (18k)

With Harry up against his side, his little four year old snuggled in his lap like it’s her favourite place, Louis could really believe they’re a real little family, off to their chalet to spend Christmas in the snow. A real little family where Louis would have the luxury of kissing Harry under mistletoe and rolling around in the fresh snow with him, taking him upstairs to his bedroom and fucking him to keep him warm.

(harry is louis' daughters' au pair. they spend christmas in austria)

all the diamonds you have here by vashtaneradas (22k)

it hits louis now, how fucking close to the precipice they’re standing. or, an au feat. investment banking and children.

All We Have by colourexplosion (6k)

He looks at the person who’s asked him a question and then immediately wishes he hadn’t. He’s beautiful, is the thing, and Harry’s met him before.

“No, sorry,” he says, shaking his head, averting his eyes. It’s an old habit, one he’s gotten better about resisting, but he supposes seeing Louis Tomlinson out in the wild transports him right back to youth club.

“Ah, s’fine really,” Louis says, instead of just walking away like a normal person, “Pretty boy like you shouldn’t be smoking anyway, yeah?”

Harry’s cheeks flood with heat before he can stop it, and he squeezes his eyes shut. Of course. Of course Louis Tomlinson — the boy who basically made Harry realize he’s gay — thinks he’s cute now. Ten years after the fact, and much too late for it to do any good at all.

Or, a 'Grown' au

Always Be My Baby by itsmiz (8k)

Louis isn't looking forward to his birthday, and Harry makes him see that age truly is just a number.

Based on Louis' tweet: 22 is old :(

Always Come Back To You by whoknows (29k)

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

amaryllis by hattalove (147k)

“Where are we?” “Um. A little while out of London?” Niall tries, seemingly the only one willing to not be mysterious and provide Harry with information, and. Oh. “London London? As in, the capital of England London?” he asks, just in case he’d misheard. “No, the other London,” Louis laughs, low and biting. He comes closer finally, the moonlight just enough to reveal a sharp-cut jaw and pale skin. “Sorry, Pup.” Nobody’s ever called Harry a “pup”. Frankly, he finds it quite insulting, but he lets it slide to try and comprehend his current crisis.

or the one where harry gets bitten by a werewolf. louis is the mysterious not-quite alpha, liam and zayn have Things going on, niall is their token human, and together, they watch a lot of TV.

And Then A Bit by infinitelymint (159k)

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

anything plain can be lovely by el_em_en_oh_pee (5k)

Harry sees Louis - like, really sees Louis - again for the first time in his mid-thirties. (a grew-up-together AU)

Around the World by orphan_account (6k)

“Could you–” Harry breaks off, gasping as Louis leans in to bite the sensitive skin just under Harry’s jaw, a favourite spot of Harry’s. “Could you, y’know, in French?”

“Could I what, H?” Louis asks, peppering kisses underneath Harry’s jaw and trailing them up to his lips.

“Dirty talk,” Harry says in an exhale.

Or, Louis dirty talks in French. Kind of.

Autumn At My Window by TheCellarDoor (20k)

A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.

Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own. 

Last edited: September 7, 2017

Done here? Go back to my Recommended Fics → 

#recommended by maggie #fics by title

[peebeebitchers]

Why Ryan Ross is SUN and Brendon Urie is the MOON ™ Masterpost

Okay, so SOME people seem to have this idea that RYAN is the MOON and BRENDON IS THE SUN?????

This post is mostly for @howrydenprobablybrokeup . I have stood by this theory for years. My goal in life is to educate the masses, and to prove to everyone, that Ryan Ross is a shining ray of light and brendon urie is a beautiful moon. After some encouragement from mutuals including mostly @heymoonrydenwasreal l (as well as @chaotic-lilac-skies , @rainbowryro , @anthropormorphiccarrot and @goldenbrendonurie) I feel extremely compelled to compile my evidence into one really really fucking long post, that you will all be reading for days. Sorry. (also I apologize to @percussion-n-stuff because he doesn’t even like ryden, but he still follows me even though I flood his dash with it all day)

The important thing to pay attention to is who wrote the song and who they’re referring to. For example, if Ryan wrote a song and said “ You are as beautiful as the moon is on a summer night” (i made that up) then that would point to Brendon being the moon, but if he wrote a lyric “I understand that as the sun, I can’t shine forever” (also made up) that would point to Ryan being the sun. This would obviously be reversed if The song is written by Brendon.  These are all just theories, but that’s how I plan on framing most of this evidence.

Pretty. Odd (aka the gay weed bible)

There are a LOT of references to the sun and moon in this album as you likely know, but the majority of it points to Ryan being the sun and Brendon being the moon.

Nine in the Afternoon

This song is mostly about Drugs and being happy writing songs again overall. The only line that is remotely sun and moon theory Ryden in this song is the chorus.

“Cause it’s nine in the afternoon, 

your eyes are the size of the moon”

This line is implying both beauty and dilation. So even though that thought is weak, I feel like it works for this.

She’s a Handsome Woman

Again there isn’t a lot of sun and moon theory evidence in this song at all. While this isn’t very sun and moon theory, I feel like it should be mentioned and does have a very weak bit of evidence in it. The only thing I could think of was this:

“Jealous orchard,

The sky is falling off the ceiling

While I’m tucking fibs into a cookie Jar”

So, “Jealous orchard” is about how one of them is jealous (Brendon probably  bc Ryan was with Keltie at this point I believe)

“The sky is falling off the ceiling” means that the sky (i.e. sun and moon) is going to be used for a different purpose. Seeing as this is one of the first tracks on the album, it could be warning fans about all of the metaphors and allusions to sun and moon that will be in the album.

“While I’m tucking fibs into a cookie Jar” also about Jealousy.

Do You know What I’m seeing?

Very little sun and moon theory evidence. Though a lot of the song is about the sky, weather etc. which goes with sun and moon there isn’t much supporting either side of the argument. I’m still going to talk about one repeated verse though.

“I know it’s mad, but If I go to hell

will you come with me or just leave?

I know it’s mad, but if the world were ending

Would you kiss me or just leave me?

Just leave me?”

This is ryan asking brendon if he’s committed to the relationship

“If I go to hell” contributes to “Ryan is the sun” idea. The sun is hot, hell is hot etc. 

I Have Friends in Holy Spaces (Written by Brendon)

The first substantial sun and moon evidence and very solid at that. I have to set this up a little so that the actual evidence will make the most sense. This song is pretty clearly about the singer/ writer (Brendon) talking to/about a new love (Ryan)

“You remind me of a few of my famous friends

Well, that all depends what you qualify as friends”

I mean...it’s pretty obvious. (*cough* friends with benefits *cough*)

“Take a chance take your shoes off, dance in the rain

And I was flashing around the news spread all over town

I’m not complaining that it’s raining, I’m just saying

that I like it a lot”

People shipping ryden

“The rain” represents people sort of being on their case about Ryden, abd Brendon is saying “I don’t really care, you shouldn’t either, just dance in the rain”

“If the sun would come out and

sing with me”

Brendon not only wrote, but also sings this song. The next song is Northern Downpour in which ryan sings a lot

Brendon is asking ryan to sing with him so he does!

Sorry, I’m not crying, I just go something in my eye

Northern Downpour (By George Ryan Ross III)

How do I even set this one up??? I apologize if I get so many tears on the screen that my computer breaks and I have to stop this post. Again sorry.

There actually isn’t a shit ton of sun/moon theory here ( ots of seattle lore though if you want to know about that go here)

“Hey moon please forget to fall down

“Hey moon don’t you go down”

Tensions were high in the band when this song was written

“Hey brendon don’t leave me”

“I care a lot about you Brendon”

When the Day Met the Night aka the song that inspired sun/moon theory (Written by Ryan)

WOWZA there is soooo much to talk about in this song. Let’s just get into it.

“When the moon found the sun

All was golden in the sky”

When Brendon  and Ryan met, all was good.

“When the sun found the moon

She was drinking tea in her garden”

When Ryan (the sun) met Brendon (the moon) he was chill. Just drinking his tea. C A S U A L

“When the moon found the sun,

he looked like he was barely hanging on

But her eyes saved his life”

When brendon (the moon) met ryan (the sun) he was having a hard tim, but Brendon’s love/looks (“her eyes”) helped him get through it

Brendon saved Ryan

i’m not crying, you are.

“So he said ‘would it be all right

If we just sat and talked for a little while

If in exchange for your time

I gave you this smile?”

Ryan asked Brendon to go out?? With him/be with him for a little while

In return Ryan would be happy (aka “the smile” have you seen that boys smile of course Brendon agreed)

“So she said ‘That’s OK

As long as you can make me a promise

Not to break my little heart,

Or leave me all alone in the summer’

Brendon basically told Ryan, “I’ll be with/date you if you promise to not break my heart” and so yeah

I’m crying because Of what happened after this song. AGH

I’m sorry guys

“Well he was just hanging around

and then he fell in love

And he didn’t know how

But he couldn’t get out”

Ryan was just doing his thing

And then he met Brendon and was like “wtf, this d00d is hawt af”

And he was kinda caught off guard

Overall, the song talks more about the sun and how the sun is feeling than the moon, which points to the fact that Ryan is the sun. Ryan wouldn’t be able to write from Brendon’s point of view. gUYS RYAN IS THE SUN!!!???

She Had the World

You can’t really follow up When The Day Met the Night with anything, because no song will have that much good old evidence as that song, but I can still try.

“Because when I look in her eyes

I just see the sky

When I look in her eyes

Well I, just see the sky”

Written by ryan

Very @brendon

The moon is in the sky

(yes I’m aware this could also work for Brendon being the sun)

And that’s all for Pretty. Odd Folks. Remember to always smoke weed with your lovers, reinvent love and if you’re going then to go go gooo.

Vices and Virtues Main tracks (aka, I’m bitter af Ryan why’d you hurt meh lik tis?!!?!??)

Wow this album is salty AF. oh boi. You can just taste the bitter in brendon’s voice. Obviously all of this is written by brendon so that

The Ballad of Mona Lisa

“Say what you mean

Tell me I’m right

Let the sun rain down on me”

Brendon is saying “stop lying

You know that i’m the one that’s right in this situation

Let Ryan (the sun) come back

Memories

“When July became december

their affection fought the cold

And they couldn’t quite remember

what inspired them to go”

“When July became December” when it became winter. The sun often doesn’t come out as much or in some places goes away entirely during winter. Ryan (the sun) left the band.

“Their affection fought the cold” supports this

“They” is both Ryan and Brendon, but especially brendon seeing as he wrote the song

Trade Mistakes

“May I never sleep tonight as long

As you’re still burning bright

If I could trade mistakes for sheep

Count me away before you sleep”

I won’t be able to rest as long as you’re still in my mind

What burns bright? The sUN

I made a lot of mistakes, and I won’t be able to sleep until I get them off my chest.

“Burning Bright” could be refering to success or being angry/upset/having unfinished business with brendon

Could this one be more obvious??

Always

This one could go either way, but I’m still gonna talk about it because I feel like It works better for brendon-is-the-moon-theory.

“I’m the light blinking at the end of the road

Blink back to let me know

(it was always you)”

The moon is a light in the dark

A light at the end of the tunnel if you will

He’s saying he’ll get back together if that’s what Ryan wants

Brendon was so not subtle with this album oh my god. This song is literally about a failed romance. This whole album is about a failed romance boi.

The Calendar

This song is confirmed to be about the split, and oh boy, is it ryden. Ryden af.          Oh     my      god.

“Summer’s on its death bed”

Pretty. Odd era is over

Sun has gone away

“At night your body is a symphony

“And I’m conducting”

Night -- the moon

Obviously referring to sex

yeah

Sarah Smiles

Now you might be reading this, and thinking....bitch??? This is the song Brendon wrote for Sarah??? What do you mean? The thing is this song is actually very ryden and if you’re curious as to why, please send me an ask and I will make another post detailing that.

“I’m just a guy living on my own

Waitin’ for the sky to fall

Then you go and change it all, though”

I was all alone, waiting for the sky (the sun/ryan) to fall (come back to me)

Then you go and change it all (Sarah came ‘round and was like yo) and so she changed the plans

Vices and Virtues Bonus Tracks (aka the saltiest of Brendon’s discography)

Stall Me

Oh boy. This is possibly the most sun and moon theory thing oh oi.

“Why would you bring me in

If you knew what you'd become

So curse everyone and everything,

even the sun”

Do I even have to explain?

Why would ryan let him in the band  if he knew he was eventually going to leave?? Fuck him (the sun)

What would brendon be referring to?

What other situation did someone let him into something and then become something else?

Why are you cursing the sun Brendon?

Because the sun is George Ryan Ross III ™

Turn Off the Lights

“Turn off the lights, turn off the lights

Turn on a show for me tonight

...

So shoot a star on the boulevard tonight

I think I’ll figure it out with a little more time

...

Turn off the lights

Turn on the charm for me tonight”

Get rid of the sun (RYAN)

“Shoot a star...tonight ” look for someone new, tonight, with out the sun.

“Turn off the lights” get rid of the sun “turn on the charm for me tonight” turn on the charm, look for someone new etc.

Bittersweet

“All that hate is gonna burn you up

It keeps me warm at night”

So he’s dissing ryan

What’s hot? The sun.

It keeps me warm at night--reference to romance

Wow, brendon you’re so subtle

That’s all for Vices and Virtues, remember that Brendon is a salty vampire and to not break his heart.

Death of a Bachelor (aka Frank sinatra is sucking my dick behind a nightclub Ryan I miss you please come back, I’m crying)

Death of a Bachelor

“Do I look lonely?

I see the shadows on my face”

Yes you look lonely brendon

You did lose weight, the weight of 5 bandmembers

The shadows on your face are from not having the sun around anymore.

yeah

Crazy=Genius

“You can set yourself on fire

But you’re never gonna burn burn burn”

@ryan

What burns?

The sun

Golden Days

“Oh, don’t you wonder when the light begins to fade?

And the clock just makes the colors turn to grey

Forever younger growing older just the same

All the memories that we make will never change”

“The light” the sun has gone away

I feel the same as I did before but now everything is different

Impossible Year

This song was written during Vices era and oh my gosh

“There’s no sunshine, this impossible year

Only black days

And sky gray

And clouds full of fear

Storms full of sorrow

That won’t disappear

Just typhoon and monsoons

...there’s no you and me

This impossible year”

No sunshine??

Who’s gone now?

There’s no you and me???

gUYS

Ryan is the sun ™ confirmed

Wow

Brendon

Tone it the fuck down

Subtle much?

The end of Death of a Bachelor, (Ryan pls come back)

Ryan’s Solo Album (aka, I’m sad and miss you brendon, so I’m gonna make you feel bad by making the best ™ music)

Lonely Moonlight

I am aware that his could be construed either as brendon the sun or the moon. Considering though,that it's really weird to write a song in 3rd person about how lonely you are. I feel like lonely moonlight is highkey about how they’re both lonely without each other.

“The sun went down

Over my head

Another day lost

Filled with regret”

The days when he was with brendon, when he was the sun, are over and now he feels regretful

“I wandered through the sunshine,

remembering when you were mine

Lonely moonlight, lonely moonlight

When i had a younger heart

You told me not to fear the dark”

He’s reminiscent of his days as the sun, with the moon

They’re both lonely now (especially brendon bc he doesn’t

When I was younger ( in the band) you helped me feel less insecure about myself.

What brings light in the dark? The moon. He’s talking to Brendon.

This song could go either way, but seeing as it is just a lot of “lonely moonlight”’s repeated over and over again, I feel like it works pretty well for this side of the theory. Paired with all of the other evidence, it works better this way.

Where I belong

This can also go the other way with a stretch, but it works so much better like this.

“If you wanna see the sun

You’re gonna have to dig your way out

This war ain’t gonna fix itself”

He’s talking to brendon

He needs to make amends (“fix the war”) with ryan/ “see the sun”

“The glitter is gone

I’m done with the dark

I know I’ve been wrong”

Referencing fever era

What lights up the dark? The MOON. he could also be talking about how he’s tired of not being the sun anymore

He’s admitting he did something wrong

At Your Window

“I might have lost control

“It’s been dark since the sun came up”

I’ve felt lost since I found myself again?

He’s letting go of the old days, so he’s coming out of the dark, and doesn’t feel in the dark anymore. He’s the sun again, but in a different way

“Through the sun, I see where I come from”

He came from the sUN

???? I mean?? How do you not get it??

He’s the sUN

“At your window in the night”

What’s out in the night? The sun?

Whose window is he at? brENDON’s

Yes I know this last one is pretty stupid.

Bonus: Home Recordings (Jon Fucking Walker) (aka Fuck, I’m actually a really good solo musician, I shoulda been doing this the whole time)

Sun and Moon

“What’s the point of holding on

If the two of you just don’t belong

...

“I don’t wanna shout

I don’t need the sun and the moon

To tell me what to do”

Wow Jon, okay. You coulda been a little calm. I mean geez, does no one in this band understand subtlety? And privacy. Oh my godsh.

He’s basically making peace with the fact that the band broke up

He’s being a chill little hippie

“I don’t wanna shout” me either Jon, you unproblematic fave.

Other Important Evidence that isn’t Lyrical

Brendon used to call Ryan a Golden God

Ryan Ross is beautiful ray of SUNshine? How could he be the mOON?

The story of Sun and Moon: The sun is a constant light. It’s always bright etc. To Brendon, this is what Ryan was. A constant Ray of light and happiness. (I mean Ryan is that for me too, so I don’t blame Brendon.) On the other hand, when the sun and moon thing began, Ryan was in a difficult time. His dad had just died/was dying, and he was in the middle of tour. You can imagine how hard that is for someone. For Ryan, Brendon was like a light in the dark...you know like the moon is? Yeah.

Ryan also wrote a lot of the music for the band, (produced the light) and Brendon sang it for him (reflected the light) which is how the sun and moon are.

In conclusion, whether you agree with me or not I’m right. (Just kidding, if you disagree feel free to message me, or send an ask or reblog. I don’t really care either way) Ryan is the sun, Brendon is the moon and those are my final thoughts.

#sun and moon #ryan is the sun #that took about 5 days to make #i am passionate #sun and moon theory #panic! at the disco #ryan ross #brendon urie #ryden #ryden theories #brendon is the moon #lonely moonlight #pretty odd #vices and virtues #death of a bachelor #jon walker #sun #moon #dead #ryden sun and moon #ryden is haunting me

[got7doubleb]

16, 23, 37 MarkJin please. Angst or Fluff will do as long as it's a happy ending.

There are a lot of reasons to hate you but i don’t, Your eyes are the brightest i have ever seen, i am constantly on edge because of you - markjin

Tuesday Coffee and Shared Sweaters - Mark+Jinyoung, fluff, G 2.5k wordsMark realizes too late that he was in love with his best friend and tries to drunkenly confess to him by showing up to his house at 5am in the morning.

a/n: This may not fill in the prompt but i was craving to write a childhood friends to lover dynamic. but like i don’t even know what this was. i’m sorry for my attempt at failed crack. i tried to beta this but yeah. anyway, hope you don’t hate me for this anon-sshi!

Mark probably had a bit too much to drink.He knows this because he is standing in front of Jinyoung’s house and hedoesn’t even know why. Alright, maybe he does know why he was there but stillhe didn’t think when he walked out of the bar he was headed here. It was morelike subconsciously he was walking to Jinyoung’s place.

He is drunk; a bit too drunk. And it’sprobably the break of dawn. so, if the neighbours saw him standing in front ofJinyoung’s house like this they would probably calls the cops.

He really didn’t think this plan through. Well,to be honest, he had no plan.

Whatthe fuck am I doing here and why the fuck am I so drunk?

He had been drinking to try and eliminatethe messy situation in his head. It’s been a mess for the past week now and nomatter how much Mark tried to think it out, it all made no sense at all. Hisheart was telling him one thing and his mind was telling him another.

But why was he in front of Park Jinyoung’shouse at the break of dawn, trying to suppress the urge to vomit, you ask?

The answer was simple. Park Jinyoung wasthe tsunami that flooded his brain with the thoughts of him and leaving ahorrid mess. Mark was beyond repair. So Mark being the very rational adult thathe is (he is 22 years old, he was an adult) he drank till he couldn’t thinkanymore. Or rather he drank until the only thing that was coming out of his mouthwas ‘why the hell did Jinyoung do this to me?’

That was overdramatic but that is theeffect Jinyoung has on him.

From the start of his life, Jinyoung hadthat effect. They had first met in middle school. From the moment he hadstepped into school, Park Jinyoung had been there. He had become the Korean boythat talked to him even though he had no idea how to speak English. The boyhowever, was expressive and they managed to find a common ground of silencebefore Jinyoung learnt more English and Mark learnt more Korean.

So they became friends. Their houses wereonly a block away from each other. Naturally, thanks to the many sleepoversthey used to have as kids, their parents had become great friends. Mark ispretty sure the Park family regards him as their own son and Jinyoung is prettymuch family to his parents too. From that little boy who couldn’t even speakone word of Korean, Mark had gained not only a friend but an extension to hisfamily. And it had happened so smoothly that Mark had forgotten what life waslike before Jinyoung. All he knew was Jinyoung.

So what was it that made everything so differentnow?

They were best friends. Jinyoung knewexactly what reckless thing Mark was going to do before he even does it. Markhad Jinyoung’s favourite coffee shops lists by rank and his favourite order ateach of those coffee shops. They were best friends and for most of his lifeJinyoung had been there.

So really, if there was a problem Markshould just confront Jinyoung.

But the problem was that Mark couldn’taccept it himself. The problem wasn’t Jinyoung. The problem was himself.

It had all started in high school. Atleast, the last week of thinking about this had pinpointed it to the momentwhen Jinyoung had came out to him in high school. They were in their last yearand Mark was talking about the fact that Jinyoung hadn’t dated anyone. Despiteall the confessions he received, there was not one that he accepted.

“I’vebeen meaning to tell you” Jinyoung whispered. The tone of his voice was so lowthat Mark felt the suspense make his heart beat funny. “I’m gay”

Mark remembered the shockwaves that wentthrough his body. It was shocking because never once did Mark suspect it. Neveronce did he take all the jokes that Jinyoung tried to make (which were probablyhints now that he thought of it) seriously. It hit him almost out of nowhereand Mark was too shocked to even try to hide it.

“Ihad no idea”

Jinyounglaughed so hard. “I know. I’m fully aware that I’m friends with a fuckingmoron”

That night Mark couldn’t fall asleepbecause all his life he had only seen girls as an option. All his life he hadbeen chatting up girls in his class, all his life he had never thought of guys.It wasn’t that he wasn’t ok with Jinyoung being gay. He was perfectly fine withit. It was just that suddenly he realized that he was part of Jinyoung’soption. It opened up possibilities that he never saw before and suddenly hefelt happy.

But the next morning nothing had changed.Jinyoung went about his life all the same as Mark went on with his life asthough he hadn’t just realized an enigma that would change their lives forever.Mark had buried that thought deep in his mind. It never saw the day of light asMark continued to try chatting up the hot girls in his school. (He was probablya big playboy but you didn’t hear it from him).

Every day from that day Mark had put a nicelabel on Jinyoung’s head. My bestfriend; itread. He never thought of exploring the possibilities anymore. Jinyoung wasobviously not interested and Mark wasn’t interested in ruining what theyalready had.

Because what they had was great.

When they had left high school and wentinto college, they had different majors. Jinyoung taking up Literature whileMark was an engineering major. It was weird at first going to classesseparately for the first time in his life but they got used to it. What made itworst were the dating rumours that started surrounding them.

When they were in school, people hadaccepted that they were best friends since childhood. Everyone knew they wereattached by the hip since Mark had moved in to school. But in college, thesurroundings were new and their closeness was questionable.

So what if Mark walked Jinyoung to classwith his favourite coffee every Tuesday? Mark knew his order by heart andJinyoung liked coffees before a really long day of class. And what is the bigdeal if they swap sweaters every other day? Jinyoung loves his fluffy sweatersand quite frankly he looks damn adorable in them (don’t let Jinyoung know Marksaid that).

And who the hell cares if Mark letsJinyoung kiss his cheeks and pretends to be super annoyed about it?

Well, Jinyoung’s boyfriend does.

That’s right, just when Mark was gettingthe hang of balancing assignments, projects, tests and his social life; ParkJinyoung decides to find himself a boyfriend. Mark wouldn’t exactly say hedoesn’t like the guy because he wasn’t jealous the way Jackson, his veryannoying roommate, suggests. He was just very wary of this guy hurting his bestfriend’s feelings. And maybe he felt threatened that Mark was no longerimportant in Jinyoung’s life.

But Jinyoung reassures him that Wonpil wasa good guy and would never come in between the two of them, repeatedly. Marknever needed to say anything but Jinyoung could read him like an open book nomatter what.

“Whyare you telling me this? I’m not jealous of your boyfriend” Mark insists forwhat felt like the nth time.

“Ofcourse you’re not” Jinyoung said, completely unconvinced. “If you could alsostop staring daggers at him, every time he is around you that would be greattoo”

So maybe, Jinyoung could tell what he feltbefore Mark even knew it. He was perceptive like that. He knew Mark better thanthe back of his hand. So maybe that’s why when Mark realized he was jealous heknew that he was three hundred feet in his own shit.

He was in love with his best friend and itwas too late.

Mark however didn’t feel like ruining theperfect bubble Jinyoung had with his first ever boyfriend. He would happily eathis own heart if it meant Jinyoung could remain oblivious about the shift inMark’s feelings. But Jinyoung could read his feelings from a mile away and MArkwasn’t about to let that happen.

So he had been trying, with much difficultyto create some sort of distance.

The first step had been making Wonpil fillin his ‘best friend’ duties, so Jinyoung wouldn’t feel the gap and chase him.His Tuesday coffee – one hot caramel macchiato with whipped cream, extracaramel and a dash of cinnamon powder – was to be delivered by Wonpil from nowon. It was easy to make Wonpil obey him; the boy was just as smitten asJinyoung was after all. With Wonpil filling up his role in Jinyoung’s life andthe painful grip oh the thought on his heart, Jinyoung let him go. Wonpil wasthe most solid excuse he had.

Mark had gifted his favourite sweater toJinyoung, insisting he didn’t need it anymore. Mark then moved out of the dormitoriesto rent a place somewhere close enough to campus but far enough from Jinyoung.And slowly but surely the distance happened.

For the most part, Jinyoung seemed quitehappy. They texted sometimes and it didn’t seem like anything was ever out ofplace and for the most part Mark thought he was in the safe zone. He could finallytry to adjust with the life of pretending he didn’t love his best friend bydrowning himself in his academics and an unhealthy amount of online games.

That was until a week ago when Jinyoung hadappeared on his bed snuggled into Mark’s fluffiest sweater with red rimmed eyesand a sniffled nose. Wonpil had broken up with him and he was a fucking mess.

Naturally, Mark should be happy about this.Wonpil was out of the picture and he could finally have his chance. But the sixmonths relationship Jinyoung had had with Wonpil had burned Jinyoung’s heartand Mark wasn’t about to exploit Jinyoung’s vulnerability. It would beextremely selfish if he confessed his affections when Jinyoung was obviouslystill in love with Wonpil.

So, Mark prepared himself for another feastof his own heart.

Each time Jinyoung sobbed with the word‘Wonpil’ leaving his mouth his heart would crack. Each time Jinyoung hugged himas he cried; he was punched in the gut. Each time Jinyoung called him in themiddle of the night asking if Mark was asleep only to fucking cry again, Markwould feel his heart crushed by the weight of his own idiocy. He was on edgewith how much he had to try and hold himself together.

“Jinyoung”Mark sighed and waited for the sharp sobs from the other line to slow downbefore he continued. “Did you love him that much?”

“Idon’t know” he sniffles. Mark could just imagine the pain in his face and hisalready broken heart was shattered into even smaller pieces.

“Whydid he want to break up?”

Thereis a short silence which Mark isn’t quite sure was because Jinyoung was wipinghis tears or gathering the courage to admit the reason. “He thinks I’m in lovewith you”

Marklaughed despite the sudden quickening heartbeat in his chest. “He must be anidiot, then”

Jinyounghowever remains silent for the longest time. There was no hum of approval;there was no sniffling or sobbing. The line just goes silent and finally itwent dead.

After that phone call Mark tried to callhim back but it went straight into voicemail. Maybe it was because Jinyoung’sphone died. So he makes his way to Jinyoung’s class the next morning,determined to ask Jinyoung what had happened to the phone call.

“Imust have fallen asleep” Jinyoung mutters, pretending to focus on his book. Hiseyes were unnaturally focused and his shoulders were stiff. It wasn’t hard totell that Jinyoung was lying. Mark didn’t need to be a genius to know that.

“ButI couldn’t call you back?”

“Itmust have died” Jinyoung said a bit too fast. “Class is about to start. Youshould probably leave”

So, first Jinyoung lies to him. He thenstarts ignoring him and Mark doesn’t even know what he’s done. Everything wasout of place and he didn’t even know what to fix.

Was Jinyoung still mourning his brokenrelationship? Was it something Mark said?

Three whole days of being ignored byJinyoung has finally led to him standing in front of his house, drunk beyondbelief, trying his best to devise a plan on making sure his best friend/heartbreakingcrush doesn’t leave him to rot to death alone. There was a thousand and onereasons for Mark to hate Jinyoung for making his life so difficult but he doesn’t.

Because, holy fuck, he loved Jinyoung. Ifit was anything that he regretted it was the fact that he hadn’t told Jinyounghe loved him. He knew it before. He knew there was a shift in his heart themoment Jinyoung had admitted he was gay. But he hadn’t.

So really, this whole mess wasn’t Jinyoung’sfault. It was his.

He stared at the lock keypad on Jinyoung’sdoor and wonders if it had ever changed, since the last time Mark was around.That was probably before Wonpil.

He contemplates knocking even though it wasprobably 5a.m. in the morning. Or he could just wait for Jinyoung to come outof the house. It would probably be noon by then.

Or maybe Mark was tired of sitting aroundwaiting. Maybe it was just time to barge in take a chance on what he wanted.And right now he wanted Jinyoung to know that he loved him. More than he hadever loved anyone else.

0-9-0-4

There is a ding of the right pass codebeing inputted and Mark smiled. Jinyoung didn’t change it after all.

There is a clank of ceramic breaking as ithits the floor as soon as Mark peaks his head into the house. In front of him stoodPark Jinyoung, in a sweater Mark was pretty sure he had lost at least 6 monthsago, mouth agape, hands frozen in mid air. A broken mug scattered at his feetwith what seemed to be hot tea.

“What are you doing here” Jinyoung stuttered.His expression was alike with an expression of just seeing a ghost.

“We need to talk” Mark intoned, surprisingly composed despite the alcohol slowly buzzing in the back of his head. His feet wasbringing him towards where Jinyoung was standing, tugging him clear of thebroken pieces of glass and hot tea that was on the floor. “I’ll clear this upfirst”

Jinyoung watches him, seeming too far inthe state of shock to even help.

When he was done, he tugs Jinyoung to thecouch.

“We need to talk”

Jinyoung nodded but his expression wasstill haunted. He seemed to swallow all his thoughts and tried to composehimself. He pulls the hem of his (Mark’s) sweater trying but failing to conceal his veryshort pants. Mark tries really hard to focus on Jinyoung’s face but he can’thelp but glance.

“I probably should have told you years ago”Mark blurts. “I love you”

He was damn drunk give him a fucking break for the lack of creativity.

“Well, isn’t it about time you realized?”

#markjin #got7 fic #got7snet #got7 #got7 mark #got7 jinyoung #park jinyoung #markjin fic #myfic #gotsichiwrites2017 #anon #ask

[generouslyteenagealpaca-blog]

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"aa black box insurance quote

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I got a ticket bout a couple months ago and my cost of insurance (minimum coverage) hasnt changed. Am I supposed to notify my insurance company about my ticket or do they automatically find out on their own and then charge me extra?

Boyfriend got into accident with my car..he has insurance/SR-22. Whose insurance will be responsible?

My boyfriend has had an insurance policy with an SR-22 on it for almost a year. It expires in 6 days. He was driving my car to work and got into an accident that was his fault. My car has barely any damage and I don't think the other car was severely damaged. My mom has an insurance policy on my car ( I live with her) But since my boyfriend was driving and he has insurance with the SR-22 doesn't that mean that it will go on his insurance? Isn't that the exact reason he had to have the SR-22 in the first place? So in case he screwed up (which he did) than it would be covered in any car he drives? Thanks.

What color cars are cheaper to insure?

its bugging me lol. i would like to know what colors are considered aggressive like red,black ect. and what colors they wont rape you over. so a list of aggressive colors and a list of calm colors. thank you for your help!""

Can you buy a car without having to buy car insurance for it? ?

Well I'm 18 and just recently passed my test. I was just wondering if you could buy a car without buying the insurance. Some people have told me that you can buy a car but need car tax to keep it parked on the road whilst others say that you need car insurance to keep the car on public road :/? Which one is right?! Pluss I live in the UK

A better way acquire an affordable health insurance to cover my family?

if I work for, say Pizza Hut as a part-time while I earn $65K/yr full-time job? I dont want to spend too much monthly payments on health insurance?""

""Best insurance business (All State, Farmers or State Farm)?""

I am seriously considering becoming an insurance agent for State Farm, Farmers or All State, but I don't know which company is the best choice for me, I am bilingual in Spanish, so I am looking for a company that is going after the Hispanic Market. I have heard some bad things about Farmers, so my decision might be State Farm or All State. Nationwide is doing a great advertising campaing in the Spanish market, does anybody know if they offer agency jobs. I am open to other suggestions. Any help/Suggestions is very much appreciated. Gracias""

What does liability mean with Auto Insurance?

Im in the military so I dont need any medical mine is fully paid but does this mean I dont have any coverage when it comes to damage to my own vehicle? I got quoted $544 for 6 months. ANy idea how much it would be if I got insurance on my vehicle too. Thank you

How old do you have to be to buy insurance?

how old do you have to be to buy Business insurance?

Estimating how much more is usually liability then full coverage insurance?

how much more do you think it would cost had 1997 dodge stratus 4 door and bought a 2008 ford focus, I know you it depends but do you think its gonna cost 1000 more for exampe or what?""

Insurance for first time motorcycle driver?

I'm 16, female, & am looking at the Kawasaki Ninja 2009. I would be the primary owner, and I'm wondering whether the color of the motorcycle will affect the rate of insurance as well? Thank you!""

aa black box insurance quote

aa black box insurance quote

Insurance for first time male driver (16 years old almost 17)?

I'm two months away from being 17 and I'm looking at getting a 2001 E46 BMW 325i. Does anyone have a guesstimate or actual cost to insure myself? Would there be anyway I could insure myself under my parents name to lessen the price?

""I just received a position where I am given Benefits for the first time, I have questions about Insurance?""

Does what I pay for insurance come out monthly? or every check? what is coinsurance? How do deductibles work? Stupid questions I am sure, but I have never had the option to pick insurance, and I haven't been covered by my parents insurance for at least 7 years. I didn't go to the doctor much when i was covered, so I never learned what my parents had to do.""

What happens if you lie to a car insurance company about your traffic violations?

My husband wants me to hide my violations because we are trying to get a new policy right now. I figure why wouldn't everyone do that then?

About how much will ensureance cost me?

Heyy ya'll, I'm 15 (ill be 16 next month) and I'm saving to buy a car next year! My mom says since I'm young they're going to charge me more for insurance, so what I want to know is about how much will they charge me a month since ill be 17 when I buy the the car?""

How much more do men pay for car insurance than women?

If a man and a woman are the ame age, same car, clean driving record, both live in the same city, and every other variable is the same. The only difference is their gender how much more would a man pay?""

Can your auto insurance increase after you already got a quote and pay downpayment?

my auto insurance already gave me a quote and check my license everything and offer me 1800 for 6months then after july the agent called and said the underwrite said to increase the quote to 2200? can your insurance do that? after you already paid down payment? thanks

Is an automatic car cheaper to tax and insure?

This may sound stupid, but i was looking into driving lessons when i came across an advert for an automatic driving school. I was wondering if, at the end of it, would it make an difference to my insurance if i had a stick or automatic? Thanks""

How much do footballers pay for car insurance?

just wondered cos Wayne Rooney Keeps spinning and having prangs, given his age, and the value of cars involved how much does he have to pay in premiums? I'm in no doubt he can afford it, but just wondered how much premiums would be.""

Would insurance on a 95 Mustang GT be extremely high?

Would insurance on a 95 Mustang GT be extremely high?

Did sombody know how much is car insurance in hawaii state?

how much is auto insurance in hawaii state? medium monthly? for new car?

What is the average cost of car insurance for an 18 year old mail in Florida?

And which insurance company is the most affordable provider?

Car Insurance?

So I got my license the other day I'm 16 turning 17. I don't have a car yet, but I want to drive alone. My mom has a car but my name isin't included in the policy. I heard somewhere that I could still drive the car. Is that true? How much would it cost if my name is added to the car? the car is on AAA Insurance.? . Another question. Im going to be working soon, how much would it cost for a 17 year old to drive his own car with his own insurance, BUT if im added to my DAD's policy.?""

""How much would 100,000 libility insurance cost? roughly or estimate?""

I'm looking to start a security company and am trying to figure a monthly premium. I know I need at least 100,000 of libility insurance. I don't have my license yet, so insurance companies wont even talk to me util I can give them more info. The prob is, I need a rough estimate of start up costs. Thank you""

Anywhere for cheap young driver car insurance?

Hi everyone, I am an 18 year old male with a 2.0 petrol Ford Focus 1999 5dr hatchback and my monthly outgoing for car insurance is 145! (I don't even know the annual premium) but that is third party and I am only a named driver on my mums policy with 2 years of no claims. I have NEVER crashed or damaged anyone elses property in any way. I understand that young driver insurance is expensive but my insurance still seems to be twice as expensive as any of my friends. Could someone please point me in the direction of a young driver specialist insurance who is actually cheap as I have been on these websites before and I get quoted ridiculous figures such as 12,000! Please help me I am pulling my hair out.""

When will we start having to buy health insurance for this new law ?

I think it is bs. You can all say because you don't wanna pay for me but Obama has u all brainwashed. Most of us young guys dont need it and by me having to buy it IM PAYING FOR YOU! Think about there are lots of ppl who don't go to the hospital I havnt been there since I was born except shots and im 27. Why should have to pay I surance for the next 20 years I'm not gonna use it. Oh ya i have good credit and pay my bills. So why should I have to start paying yours? You ppl that already have it and use it r gonna get cheaper rates cus ppl like me who don't use it and pay for your sickness. And the ppl who don't have it the hospital Covers the bill. Well us healthy guys shouldn't have to pay your dang bills!!!

If i buy a car how much car insurance does people usually pay per year? ?

if i buy a car how much car insurance does people usually pay per year?

Should I accept a $500 settlement from an insurance company for a stiff neck suffered in a car accident?

I was a passenger in a car accident two weeks ago. My only injury is a stiff neck. The insurance company of the at-fault driver has offered me $500 to settle. Should I accept it or fight for more (for example, by threatening to sue)? Should I see a doctor and bill the insurance company for that, even though I wouldn't normally see a doctor for this injury? I'm not really concerned about the seriousness of the injury; the pain will probably go away eventually. I just want to get the amount of money I deserve.""

Why is insurance cheaper on american cars than asian cars?

I have a friend who was in accident a while back and the end result is his insurance doubled, and he can only afford to buy an american car rather than asian or german. Why is that in canada insurance cheaper on the american cars? Thank you""

Will my dads car insurance raise after I get my drivers license?

I probably worded the question wrong but my dad won't take me to drivers training school because he's worried about his car insurance rate (or something like that) going up. I'm 15 and all of my friends have done it a long time ago. I'm the only one that hasn't started it and I even explained to him that once I start driving, I don't have to keep asking him about needing a ride to practice or meetings (because I know that bothers him) but he's still bothered about his insurance rate going up. Is that even true?? Will the car insurance rate or whatever he's talking about go up after I get my permit?? Thanks!""

Generally how much is car insurance for a teenager with a learners permit in california?

I will be driving my parents car and they currently have Esurance.

Health Insurance Help for Visitors?

my family is visiting us in california and need medical visit. they have visitors insurance which says that we need to pay for our visit now and they will evaluate and reimburse us. do these insurances reimburse anything and everything? what is a hospital/clinic to visit for visitors around southern california? how is kaiser?

Average cost for motorcycle insurance for a 16 year old?

i know that the rates will be very expensive for a street bike for a 16 year old first rider, but i just want a round about. i have car insurance with state farm so thats who i would get the insurance through. from what i found it will probably be better to start on a dual sport bike rather than a sport bike due to the cost of insurance and the possibility of not being able to get insured due to my age. i want to get a street bike, but i know insurance would be nearly affordable.""

If your a 20 yr old female in florida how much do you pay for your car insurance?

I just moved here and want to buy a car but i was wondering how much someone my age pays for insurance. A little help please? actual numbers would help

Roughly how much would the insurance cost on an Audi A3 1.4 cost at 17?

Roughly how much would the insurance cost on an Audi A3 1.4 cost at 17?

Where can I find affordable health insurance for my son who has a mental illness.?

my son has a mental illness and maxed out of my husbands policy due to his age. He works 15 hrs. a week and his employer doesn't offer insurance for part time employees. We've checked numerous policies on line and the cheapest we've found for him is $800 a month, way more than we can afford. Because he still lives at home, our income is considered as far as government paid plans. We need to find a policy for him but I'm at a dead end. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated.""

aa black box insurance quote

aa black box insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/auto-insurance-quotes-baltimore-md-katelyn-bolton/"

[standrewumcspokenword]

Testing the Waters

The year was 1999. I was in Esteli, Nicaragua.  I had gone there for language school, re-learning Spanish.   On this particular day, we drove out to a waterfall, and I hiked up to the top with the intention of diving down into the water below. What was on  my mind as I climbed was that I would graduate from school the next year, and I would be asked to take a plunge into something new.  I kept playing the tapes over and over as I walked up, “Where could I go?  What could I see myself doing?”  So, I stood at the top of the falls with my body tingling and my knees shaking, wondering “should I test the water”?  

 Maybe you’re at the top of the falls today. Maybe you’re starting something new in life, wondering where the waters will take you.

 As for me, I didn’t jump that day.  Maybe it was remembering Jesus’ temptation and something about not putting God to the test.  But a few weeks after climbing those falls, after language school, I was offered a one-month placement in a farmhouse in a village up in the mountains near Matagalpa – a farmhouse that had an outhouse for a toilet, an outdoor bucket shower that was barely modest, and nights that were full of sneezy allergens in the air and creepy crawlies on the floor. But I jumped at the chance to go.  And because of that, I jumped into mission work. And I jumped into pastoring.  That climb that day to the waterfall even though I didn’t go down into the water, it set the tone for what the future would be, going to places that weren’t comfortable.

 The decisions you make today could set the tone for your life, defining your values. It’s a time of testing. Today, if I can convince you of anything it’s that what Jesus went through in his testing can intersect with your own life. I hope you can see yourself in this scripture as it becomes alive in who you are.

 If today doesn’t convince you, let me invite you back over the next few weeks and all throughout Lent. We’ll see Ruth & Naomi who had their moment of decision, their moment of testing.  The Woman at the Well, which is a different story than you might think, and end with three Hebrew children Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. The decisions they made, the tests they endured, rippled out and impacted not just their lives, but they are a part of the fabric of our faith.  If it weren’t for each of them, we would be different today.  My hope is that the time of testing will be a way for you to test the waters, to see what new thing God might have in store for you and that your choices will makes waves that push others, too.

 We start with Jesus’ temptation.  That test comes to Jesus by way of the one we call “the tester” or accuser. Usually we just say the Hebrew word without translating it “tester” and call it – Satan or ha-satan.  In some Hebrew scripture, that figure was in God’s court, God’s entourage. It was his job to prove people’s faithfulness. When God looked down and saw Job and said, “surely there’s no one like him.”  Then that tester said, hey God, how about I test him for you, to prove his faithfulness. God says, sure.  You remember the story.  Job had everything taken away, was accused even by three of his friends of doing something wrong, but he remained faithful.  

 So Jesus is being tested and accused today with three temptations.  

 In the first one, Jesus is fasting.  He’s hungry. Really hungry, not faking it.  He’s not some spiritual being who never feels hungry like us. He’s really hungry.  And the tester says to him, hey, those smooth stones look like bread. Why don’t you, you know… make them really bread.  

 Now, the thing about temptation is that there are two qualities that have to be in play – you have to really want it AND you have to have some ability to make it happen.  You can’t tempt me with skydiving. I don’t want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.  And you can’t tempt me with a Tesla. An electric car that uses no fossil fuel AND drives itself – that’s something I would want – but it’s not a possibility right now.  Giving to church, kids, mortgage, those come first, and time with Julia.  Jesus definitely wanted to eat.  And he had the power to make those stones into bread.  He had the power to bend the laws of nature.  

 The temptation here is to break the laws of nature to suit his own craving, not about the purpose God intends.  It’s a question about the tone of his ministry.  Will God work within the laws of nature or will God just magically transform the way the stuff of the world works.  Will God work with us, in human flesh, or just wipe us off the face of the earth once again?  No more flood, the fire next time?  Jesus chose instead to limit his own power and to go without.  To stop the consumption.

 We still have this temptation.  Think about when we talk about climate change and how we hear some say, “it’ll work out.” Somebody will invent a cure. Science will save us.  We put our faith in some magic cure when the cure we need might be fasting.  To stop. To stop using creation for our own ends and remember that we don’t live by bread alone.  We live by hearing the words God give us about caring for this earth and each other.

 It’s a temptation that can spill over into other parts of life, too.  Will you bend the law to how it suits you?  We get this test at least once a year when we fill out our taxes. With kids growing up, every now and then we take a trip to Goodwill to drop off old toys. They give you a slip without much on it and you fill it out yourself.  I could put on there that those toys were worth what I paid for them. But I know that’s not right.  We get a chance to set the tone again.  Now, tax law isn’t God’s law, just as Jesus said we weren’t made for the Sabbath, but it was something carved out for us.  But I do think we get this temptation many times every day. We get a chance to set the tone.  Will you be honest? Will you work to live with integrity in what you do?  Don’t worry what everybody else does.  What will you do?

 The tester took Jesus up to a high part of the Temple.  There obviously would’ve been many others around that area.  I have to say that we’re not totally clear what this temptation is about.  Jesus would’ve thrown himself down and according to Psalm 91:11-12, God wouldn’t let that righteous person dash their foot against a stone.  

 Why would Jesus be tempted by doing something like that? What did he want and what could he do?  Most scholars agree that it’s probably a test of a public demonstration of religious power, one that would’ve convinced everyone, including the religious leaders, of Jesus’ status. That one act would prove he is right. It is a temptation to be seen as right.  Especially through coercive power.  I’m sure none of us are ever tempted to prove we’re right and someone else is wrong.  None of you are ever tempted in that way, right?

 But think of it. If Jesus could prove he’s right, that would’ve meant that he wouldn’t need to endure 3 years of teaching and then be killed.  He wouldn’t need to work with their minds, with the folks who ticked him off, with disciples who never seemed to understand.  One act, and done.  That’s tempting.  One act and he’s proven who he is, tested God’s faithfulness… but that’s it, isn’t it? You move from being God to testing God… using the satan’s own means to prove you’re the greatest.  Using the tester’s interpretation of scripture to prove himself right.  Jesus tells him, “it is written… don’t put God to the test.”

As I said, we’re not completely sure what this temptation is about.  Perhaps you’ve heard others.  A couple of weeks ago, I read a statistic that grabbed me as I read this.  It talked about suicide, which Jesus being tempted to throw himself down sounds a bit like a temptation to suicide.  Do you know which age group has the highest rate of suicide? It’s men from 45 to 54. [1] That same group is responsible for over a third of all deaths by alcohol poisoning.[2]  It can be easy to lose our way… but I’m encouraged by many of you who have found meaning after that.  You found it in your service here at church and in the way you help others. You’ve found recovery in those who sponsor you and walk with you through those times, who show you grace, and who remind you it does get better.  At every age.

 By the way, suicide is also the second-highest cause of death among young adults 15-34, especially young gays and lesbians, who are four times more likely than their straight peers to attempt suicide.[3] Many who attempt suicide cited the stigma they felt around being gay, a stigma especially by the church, as being what pushed them out on that ledge. Maybe you read the same study I did two weeks ago that over the last two years, the suicide attempts by gay young adults has decreased dramatically – all because of the legalization of same-gender marriage. [4]  

 As much as we as Christians may disagree about whether God sanctions same-sex marriage in church, I pray that we don’t fall prey to that temptation of wanting to be right above anything else.  Because I believe that all of us can agree, as our United Methodist Discipline says, that all persons are created with sacred worth.  You are sacred.  You don’t lose that by anything you do.  Don’t ignore that special, sacredness of who you are in your complete person.  And as for the church, I’m reminded of the Apostle Paul who in I Corinthians 9:22 that “I have become all things to all people that I may save some.”

Maybe we can fast from the need to be right.  Fast from the need to prove we are more pious than anyone else.  Fast from the need to prove ourselves in front of everybody else to convince them and control them.  So that together we can see God’s sacred worth in each person come to full fruition.

 There is one more temptation, a last one. The tester, the Satan, took Jesus up to a high mountain and claimed to have all authority that he could give Jesus if he just bowed down to him. This same temptation will come up in a few weeks as we look at a king who thought he had the same power and all bowed down except three Hebrew children named Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. The tester is a deceiver here, though. Just like rulers past and present, that satan is claiming the authority that is God’s alone.  Only God rules the world.  But most politicians and rulers like to think they do.  Would Jesus bow down to the political powers of his day?  Would salvation only come through politics?

 I’m sure none of us ever get caught up in that temptation today.  We never discuss politics at all.  Jesus doesn’t identify with it, but he isn’t afraid to confront the Herods and the Emperors, even reminding Pilate that he would have no power except what God alone allows him to have.  In his temptation, Jesus affirms that we will only serve God, who alone brings salvation, not some political reality.  Yes, we can improve it.  Yes, we must lift our voice to make it so. But don’t identify any party as God’s party. That’s right, God didn’t put anybody in power – neither Barack nor Donald.  God’s power resides in you and me to make a difference.  That’s why Jesus says the words from Deuteronomy, words written just after the Shema prayer that every child would pray at bedtime, words that would bind together the identity of the Hebrew people: worship the Lord your God and serve only him.  

 Today, we’re testing the waters.  We’ve seen how Jesus endured testing.  Whether he would work with others, within God’s creation.  He limited himself when it came to bread, treating creation as something to work with rather than transform.  He was tested whether he would be right or helping other see the right. And he was tested with whether he would be strong alone or whether he would work with others to bring about God’s lasting change.  

 What about you, today? As you are confronted and tested, will you take the plunge?  Will you know your own limits, work with others and come in from trying to go it alone? Will you be willing to fast from all the things that have held you back – fasting from the fear, the voices turning over how bad things are, fasting from the pessimism, fasting from the need to be right, and turn to the ones around you, feasting with your neighbors, seeing what amazing things God can do?  The new life that God can bring, even in the midst of death?

 We’re at the top looking down.  Will you let this day set a new tone for how you will live?

  [1] https://www.cdc.gov/injury/wisqars/pdf/10lcid_all_deaths_by_age_group_2010-a.pdf

[2] https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/alcohol-poisoning-deaths/

[3] http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/22/health/teen-suicide-same-sex-marriage-study-trnd/. https://www.cdc.gov/injury/wisqars/pdf/10lcid_all_deaths_by_age_group_2010-a.pdf

[4] http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/22/health/teen-suicide-same-sex-marriage-study-trnd/.