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avatar-anna · 10 months

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I was thinking you could do a “5 times y/n told Harry she was pregnant” for the young!dad series !! That would be so interesting especially since in the last piece you mentioned that Harry already had a feeling she was pregnant before she even told him

The Thing About Having Six Kids

so i got this ask and a couple others that were kind of about the kids' birth/pregnancy a while ago, and went with five different instances about each kid in the youngdadrry universe. it's all surrounding their birth, finding out about pregnancies, etc. enjoy!

Young Dad! Harry x Young Mom! Reader

Simone

(a text conversation between Harry and Y/n)

Y/n: i'm pregnant

(one day later)

Y/n: Harry?

Harry: Are you sure?

Y/n: i'm sure

Y/n: i have four different pregnancy tests to prove it

Harry: I don't know what to say.

Y/n: the 24 hours it took you to respond kind of told me that

Harry: I'm sorry about that. It's just...a lot

Y/n: it's fine i guess. at least you finally responded.

Harry: Did you think I wouldn't?

Y/n: honestly? yeah. it's not like we're married or in love or anything. you don't even live in the same country as me

Harry: What are you going to do?

Harry: I know but I wouldn't just like disappear on you

Harry: I was just shocked that's all

Y/n: idk. i'm still trying to figure out a way to tell my parents

Harry: Shit my parents!

Y/n: that's kinda where i'm at right now

Y/n: but i think i want to keep it

Y/n: the baby

Y/n: fuck that sounds crazy to say. i have physics homework due tomorrow but let me stop and make a life altering decision really quick about whether i want to have a baby or not

Harry: I'm sorry. You know...

Y/n: for getting me pregnant? knocking me up? putting a bun in the oven?

Harry: It seems too early to joke about this

Y/n: it's keeping me from freaking the fuck out at the moment

(ten minutes later)

Harry: I want to talk about this properly and figure this whole thing out but I have to go

Y/n: please don't feel obligated or anything. this was just a courtesy

Y/n: i don't expect anything from you. i get it if your management wants you to delete my number and never see me again. i just thought you should know.

Harry: What are you talking about?

Harry: Y/n?

3 missed calls from Him <3

Collette

"Let's have another baby."

Y/n was close to nodding off, so it was very possible that she was dreaming. She looked behind her. It was dark in the bedroom, but Harry was close enough that she could see him, could see that his head was propped on his elbow so he could look down at her.

"What did you say?" she asked, because she needed to be sure.

"I...I want another baby," he said, voice soft even though they were the only two people in the room. Simone was fast asleep in her own bedroom, tuckered out after a long day of playing at the park and eating ice cream and fingerpainting with Harry. Now that One Direction was officially on hiatus, it was just the three of them—Y/n, Harry, and Simone. Y/n thought it would take some getting used to, living a relatively normal life. But their little family actually fell into it quite easily.

Perhaps a little too easily.

"Say something."

Y/n hadn't realized she failed to respond, but to be fair, that was a pretty big bomb her husband just dropped. Her husband. They'd been married for a few months now, but it still felt surreal, which was probably why the idea of having another baby felt too far from reality to comprehend.

"I just...I don't know what to say," Y/n said honestly. "I—I'm not sure we're ready for that."

"We weren't ready the first time," Harry said when Y/n finally flipped on her other side to face him. This seemed like a conversation he really wanted to have, so she thought facing him would probably be best. "I just think this might be the time, you know? I don't have an insane schedule anymore, there's no more management to say that we can't, and I've always thought about giving Simone a sibling. Don't tell me you've never thought about it."

"I...I have," Y/n said.

She did think about more kids. As young as she and Harry were and as impossible as their relationship seemed at times, Y/n couldn't help but think about wanting more. She loved Harry, and she'd been loving these moments they'd been able to share as a proper family recently. Harry was right, if they wanted to have another baby, now would be the time.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he said as she felt more than saw his hand push some hair away from her face.

"What happens when you start working again?" Y/n asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you, H," she said. "And I love you. Everything about you. And one of the parts that make you who you are is the music. This...this little bubble we're in, I love it too, but I know you'll want to go back to it someday. And then you'll go on tour for ten months, and I'll be alone to raise two kids by myself for a majority of the year."

It was harsh, but she trusted him enough to take it. This was the thought that always held her back. Y/n thought about the possibility of expanding their family on more than one occasion, especially in recent weeks when things have been practically perfect. But the reality was that Harry would want to go back to work. She knew, maybe better than anyone, the desire he had to make his own music, to create and write in ways he couldn't while in the band. And perform. Harry loved to perform live. Y/n knew that this time spent with just their family was fleeting, and she cherished every minute of it, the same way she knew Harry did. It was only a matter of time before he went back to work, and she wasn't sure she could raise Simone and a newborn without him.

"That's...That's all over now," Harry said. When Y/n tried to protest, he continued on. "What I meant to say was, the ridiculous schedules, the strict rules about when we can and can't spend time together, the separate hotel rooms. Mama, things can be different now."

"But management—"

"I bought out my contract," he said. "I haven't really given it much thought in a while because I just want to be present with you and Simone, but I've got a few people in mind for new managers. People who will prioritize our family."

This was certainly news to Y/n. It was hard to talk about Harry's management or the harsh thumb they pinned him under, so oftentimes it was a topic they avoided. Hearing him say this now, knowing how much money it would've taken to buy out his contract...that was a huge deal. As far as she knew, the other boys were just sticking with it until the contracts were finished. But Harry went and did what Y/n didn't even think was possible.

"Our family," Y/n repeated, and for a moment, she could see it. The three of them becoming four. It was crazy to think about, to think so far ahead into the future, but Y/n wasn't scared by it.

"Let's have another baby," Harry said again.

Looking at him, Y/n's heart squeezed in her chest. He'd been growing his hair out for a while now, and it was long enough that it reached just passed his shoulders. She loved it, thought it made him look older, more mature. And okay, hot. And Simone loved it too. She loved braiding it and putting bows and flowers in it or just twisting it around her finger. His shoulders were broad and lean, though he'd put on a little muscle in his arms from doing handiwork around the house, something he claimed he loved to do even though Y/n had heard him curse from another room while he worked on his latest project.

She looked at his face, the one that looked so different yet so similar to the one she'd met when she was seventeen. She wondered what those teenagers would think of the people they'd become, of the things they'd seen and experienced.

She thought about it. The baby-to-be. It would have Harry's eyes and smile, her nose and hair color. If it was a girl, she could wear matching outfits with Simone, if it was a boy...Well, they could maybe still match. Y/n thought about all the baby clothes—the adorable little onesies and shoes and mittens to keep the baby from scratching their face while they slept. She didn't let herself think of the late nights and sore boobs and dirty diapers. In this moment, she just thought about all the good feelings, every perfect moment that could be.

"You promise things will be different? I can't—I can't do it alone," she said, needing to hear him say it again.

Harry didn't try to kiss her, he didn't put his hands on her waist or pull her to his chest—all tactics he would normally use to distract her. This conversation was too serious, too important, and she loved him all the more for understanding that.

"I promise, Y/n," he said, taking her hand in his and squeezing it. "I will never make you regret living this life with me."

"That's not what I—"

"I know, but I just...I needed to say it."

He needed to make that promise to her, to himself. Life had not been easy, and Y/n knew Harry blamed himself for a lot of the hardships they faced.

"I don't," she said, kissing their joined hands. "And I won't. Ever. "

Harry grinned, and Y/n could tell even in the dark that his gaze was a little watery. Still, he inched forward and said, "So...?"

Y/n leaned forward and kissed him, her leg slotting between his. "Let's have another baby."

Maeve and Jules

"I'm sorry, did you just say twins?"

"I did. I'm seeing two heartbeats here. See?" The doctor said, pointing at the monitor she'd been observing closely the last five minutes.

Y/n couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. It was one thing to be pregnant (again), but an entirely different one to be pregnant with twins. "That's—"

"Amazing," Harry breathed.

Y/n turned her head away from the monitor to look at her husband, whose eyes were glued to the screen with a look of wonder in them. As she'd begun to process her own feelings about housing not one but two babies in her belly for nine months, she hadn't really considered how he might feel about it.

Looking at him now, she could tell he was ecstatic.

Y/n was still panicking a little, but seeing the elation on Harry's face was comforting. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it hard, needing to feel the warmth of his palm to ground her.

"Hey," he said softly, bending down to kiss the top of her head. "This is a good thing. Unexpected, but good."

"I know," Y/n said, letting out a shaky breath. "I know it's just...a lot. I mean...twins?"

"Nothing we can't handle," Harry said, kissing her cheek.

His confidence was reassuring. Maybe he was freaking out on the inside and not letting it show for her sake, but Y/n felt better about the situation at hand and was ready to continue with the appointment.

To the doctor, she said, "Are they healthy?"

The doctor smiled warmly. "They are. It looks like one of them is about a week behind, but that's nothing to worry about."

"Really? They're twins. That doesn't seem possible," Harry said, his brow furrowing adorably.

"It's rare, but it is possible. Fraternal twins can be conceived as much as twenty-four days apart," the doctor said.

Y/n understood perhaps a split-second before Harry, but when he did, he turned as beet red as she felt. The doctor didn't seem to mind their embarrassment, though she'd probably seen all sorts of couples and situations. Y/n imagined there wasn't much that the doctor hadn't seen before.

The appointment wrapped up pretty quickly after that. Harry snuck out of the hospital through a separate door while Y/n set up her next appointment. She met him in the staff parking lot, where he was standing by the passenger door to help her in. Harry gave her a quick kiss before closing her in and walking around to the driver's side. As he drove, Y/n was thinking about a number of things—twice the amount of clothes, twice the amount of crying, twice the amount of diaper changes. She was excited at the prospect of having a baby. It was a conversation she and Harry had before they started trying, but the idea of twins was a lot to wrap her head around.

She looked at Harry, wanting to ask how he felt now that they were alone, but she stopped herself.

Harry had one hand on the steering wheel, the other covering a wide grin. He was blushing a little too, and Y/n couldn't help but ask what had him smiling like an idiot.

"I'm trying to figure out which times," he said.

"What do you mean which—Are you kidding? Which times we conceived the twins?"

"Aren't you curious?" Harry asked. "Twice, babe. I put a baby in you twice. I mean, one of them had to be when we were on the yacht, right? I always feel good after we have sex, but I feel like we really outdid ourselves there. Clearly."

Y/n just looked at her husband in shock. "You are..."

"What? It's cool!" Harry insisted, but he was laughing too. "And it takes the edge off a little. Come on, you try."

So he was more nervous than he was letting on. That was comforting in its own way too, but Y/n appreciated his attempts to lighten the mood. They could have a serious conversation later, but for now it was fun to just forget all of that. Just for a moment.

Y/n gave him a dry look, trying to appear like she wasn't impressed until she eventually rolled her eyes and smiled. "Mm...I agree with the yacht, and...when you came back from London."

"Really?" Harry asked, more curious than surprised.

"Yeah," Y/n said with a little sigh as she remembered the night in question. "That was a good night."

It was one of those rare occurrences where Simone was in her own bed and Collette managed to sleep for more than a couple hours. They'd spent the whole night catching up and giggling like idiots and kissing and enjoying the pleasure of being truly alone with each other. Y/n loved those moments with Harry, where everything was just so simple and easy and it was just them having a little fun. They definitely should've been catching up on sleep while they could, but neither of them wanted to, so they stayed up with tired smiles and slurred movements until they heard Collette's cries through the baby monitor.

"It was. We should do that again sometime," Harry said. Taking Y/n's hand, he kissed the tops of her knuckles.

"You just want to go for triplets," Y/n teased, even though she knew that wasn't what he meant.

"I'm not that crazy," he said, but his smile told her he was thinking about the possibility. Maybe just a little. "I'm excited for this."

"Yeah? What do you think? Boys? Girls? A boy and a girl?"

Harry shrugged. "Our track record would suggest girls, but..."

"You never know," Y/n finished for him.

Geneva

"We have some pretty big news to share."

Once a month, the Styles family held a Zoom call with their friends and family who were scattered across the globe. Since lockdown began, there was a lot of adjusting—online school, not being able to go to the park to play, being at home all day. It was a lot for everyone, but Harry and Y/n did their best to make the adjustments smoother. And when they needed a break, they set up the monthly Zoom calls.

They were mostly just to catch up. Once all the children went to sleep, Harry and Y/n stayed up late talking to other adults about everything and nothing, maybe even played a different drinking game or two to round out the night before they went back to being parents. Tonight was a special night, though.

Multiple faces looked at Harry and Y/n expectantly through their computer screen. Both of them were sporting big smiles as Y/n leaned on Harry's side, one of his older sweatshirts covering her body and the almost imperceptible bump that was beginning to show now. Today was the first day she'd begun to show, and Harry nearly lost his mind with excitement. Finding out Y/n was pregnant had been somewhat of a surprise, but when she told him, he was over the moon. He's started to suspect, having recognized some of his wife's symptoms by now, but they'd been waiting for the right time to tell their families and friends, and tonight was the night.

"What's going on, darling?" Anne asked.

Neither Harry nor Y/n could barely contain their excitement, which probably gave away the news before they actually said anything. However, in their own eagerness to share the news, neither of them saw a few people on the call sporting knowing looks.

"We're having a baby!"

Cheers went all around as everyone congratulated the couple. Questions were asked about due dates and how far along they were and what they were going to do about the lockdown situation. Everything was just as Harry had hoped it would be.

And then things took an interesting turn.

"Who won?" Jeff asked.

"Won? What do you mean—"

"If my math is correct, which I'm pretty sure it is, I believe it goes to Gem," Sarah said, looking down at her phone. "She went with three and a half months. Glenne narrowly missed with three. No one had four so it goes to Gemma."

A collective groan went throughout the Zoom, leaving Harry and Y/n very confused.

"Did you place bets on us?" Y/n asked, sounding more astonished than offended.

"When lockdown became permanent, we knew it was a matter of when not if we would be getting the announcement," Jeff explained. "Someone has a physical copy of the pool somewhere."

"And all of you did this? Mum?" Harry said, brows raised higher than Y/n had ever seen them. When Anne nodded sheepishly, Y/n had to stifle a laugh. "So none of you were surprised?"

"I love you, dear, and I'm so so happy for you, but since you were seventeen, anytime you've come to me with big news, it's been about having a baby. For my own sanity, I've just come to expect it."

Harry looked down at Y/n, who was grinning behind her hand. For her husband's sake, her gaze softened as she reached up to kiss his cheek. "I mean, they have a point. Even you guessed it before I told you."

As the shock finally wore off, Harry smiled. He supposed it wasn't the worst thing in the world. So, he and Y/n were predictable, even though they hadn't really been trying this time around. They were in love and had a lot more time together currently. Things were finally back on track for them and their relationship troubles seemed behind them now. They were happy, and as long as his family was happy, some light teasing and bet placing seemed harmless.

He did pin everyone on the screen with a mock glare before moving on, though. "You guys made a whole pool. Really?"

"Yeah. Can you believe Jeff thought it would take eight months for you to get pregnant?"

"It was for the adjustment to lockdown period!"

"Eight months?"

And on and on it went. Harry just smiled and rested his hand over Y/n's belly, thinking about how much it would grow in just a few short weeks.

Natalia

"I want Mommy!"

Harry sighed and pulled his only son into his lap, pushing the curls away from his face and wiping the tears from his cheeks. "I know you do, JuJu."

Harry and the kids were waiting to hear from Y/n's mother, but he hadn't gotten so much as a text. He was anxious, worried that something was wrong, but Julian's crying served as a good distraction for the time being.

Julian continued to cry, still not understanding why he couldn't see his mother when he'd become so used to seeing her everyday. Harry would've been with Y/n had it not been for the little boy's crying, and he made the split-second decision to stay home while Y/n delivered the baby with her mother as support. He'd never missed any of his children's births, but for this, he could stay behind.

"She'll be back soon, bubba, I promise," Harry said, kissing Julian's cheeks and holding him close. "Should we go play with your Lego set? I know you've been excited to build it. Maybe we can build something to show Mummy when she gets home."

Julian shook his head and continued to cry into Harry's neck. Realizing his son was content to be miserable, Harry didn't ask again. He sat with Jules for a while, holding the boy to his chest and running a hand through his hair until his sobs turned into sniffles, and the sniffles into long, slow breaths. He waited a few extra minutes before taking Julian up to his room and setting him on his bed, making sure to place his favorite stuffed animal in his arms before leaving him to sleep off his troubles. As he walked away, Harry sort of wished he could do the same.

Every birth had been different. When Y/n had Simone, it hadn't been extraordinarily long, but it was extraordinarily stressful due to their young age. Collette was a fairly quick birth, perhaps a little too quick, seeing as Y/n barely made it to a hospital bed before the baby started crowning. The twins came early, which was apparently common for twins, but that didn't make it any less surprising to Harry and Y/n, especially because Harry was at the grocery store and Y/n was at the park with Simone and Collette and a nanny who was also there had to call an ambulance. Even still, Geneva's birth was probably the scariest, only because of all the rules and regulations brought on by Covid. Y/n's mother quarantined for two weeks so she could stay at the house while Harry and Y/n went to the hospital, as Y/n could only have one person in the room with her.

And now a year later, they were doing it all over again. Harry had been confident that this birth would go off without a hitch, that everything would be just fine, but the lack of word from his wife or mother-in-law made him nervous.

Later that day, Harry was still waiting. He'd gotten a text from Y/n's mother, which let him know that Y/n still wasn't ready to push but that they were getting close. That was an hour ago, and Harry had to believe that it was all happening now.

And he was missing it.

He knew being here with the rest of his children was important. That they were worried about their mother and probably found Harry's presence comforting. He just wished they could all be there in the waiting room instead of at home and fifteen minutes from the hospital. The not-knowing was killing him, and he was pretty sure his kids could sense it.

"Daddy?"

Harry's eyes flicked to where Collette was standing in the doorway of his bedroom. She was in her pajamas, a shirt and matching pair of bottoms with her favorite cartoon on them. Harry had been pacing around his room, his phone gripped tightly in his hand as he waited for someone to call him, but seeing his second daughter standing there, squinting at the light from his bedside table lamp told him he was up a little later than normal.

"Hi, peanut. What are you doing out of bed?" he asked.

Collette shrugged, her hair catching the light. She wiped at her nose and stepped further into the room until she stood in front of him. "Mommy always braids my hair before I go to sleep."

"She does, doesn't she?" Harry agreed. "She's kind of the best, huh?"

Nodding, Collette turned toward his bed and climbed up on it, looking at him expectantly. Even after having four daughters, Harry wasn't an expert at braiding hair. The girls always went to Y/n before school, and she did each of their braids or ponytails or pigtails happily. Harry always made sure to watch with a keen eye, and practiced on Y/n when she let him. He supposed now it was time to put all his practice to work.

The braiding didn't take long, and Harry didn't do half bad, in his humble opinion. Collette was just going to sleep in it anyway, so he wasn't too bummed by the few loose strands that he'd somehow missed.

He'd finished rather quickly, though Collette didn't slide off the bed to go back to her room. In fact, she nestled under the covers on Y/n's side of the bed, mumbling, "Night Daddy," before falling asleep. Harry didn't really mind. It wasn't the first time one of the kids stayed in his and Y/n's bed, and tonight, he figured he could use some company.

What he wasn't expecting was all of his children to stumble into his room. First it was Maeve, then Jules, then Simone, and finally Harry went to get Geneva, just so it was a proper sleepover. No one fought for space—which was a first. All the kids just found their spot and went back to sleep as if they were in their own rooms. Harry resisted the urge to take a picture so as not to wake anyone up with the flash of his phone's camera.

He hadn't planned on falling asleep. One moment he'd been watching a football game with the volume off, and the next he was blinking his eyes open as the sun began to stream in through the curtains. All of his little ones were still fast asleep, though Harry knew that would change soon. Maeve and Simone woke up early to watch morning cartoons, and Geneva would want her bottle within the hour.

Harry began to shuffle around and prepare for the usual morning routine—brush teeth, ok prepare the bottle, make breakfast for the early risers—when his phone rang. Startled, Harry rushed over to where his phone was plugged in, a huge grin splitting his face when he realized it was a video call from Y/n.

"Hi," Harry whispered, careful not to wake anyone up. "How are you? How's the baby? Is everything—"

"I'm fine, H. Everything's fine. Everything's perfect," Y/n said, a sleepy smile on her face.

Hearing that helped his heart stop racing, but only a little, as excitement flooded his veins. Y/n called him, which could only mean that—

"Wanna meet your daughter?" Y/n said, and even through the phone, Harry could see tears line her eyes.

Harry nodded, too overwhelmed with love and anticipation to form words. Quickly, he found an unoccupied spot on his bed and carefully sat down.

Y/n passed the phone to her mother who angled the phone so that Harry could see the baby, whose face was just barely visible through a pink blanket. He immediately felt tears well in his eyes, his throat going dry as he looked down at his daughter. Even through the phone, he felt every emotion he'd ever experienced when meeting his children for the first time. It was the most unique experience, Harry always thought. He'd seen and done so much, yet he still thought there was nothing like looking down at his newborn baby for the first time.

"Is that baby sister?"

Harry looked behind him to find Julian peering over his shoulder. Jules looked at the sleeping baby curiously, taking in his sister's little nose and tiny fingers and pouted lips. Then, he said, "Is Mommy there too?"

The camera panned up to Y/n, who was smiling and blowing kisses to Julian. "Hi JuJu, my love. I've missed you!"

"Mommy!"

"Mommy?"

"Mommy's home?"

Now everyone was up and crowding around Harry, taking turns talking to Y/n and baby sister, who had yet to be given a name. No one seemed to mind, though. If anything, they were more concerned about when Y/n and the baby would be coming home so they could have a party.

"Soon, my loves. The doctor wants me and the baby to stay one more night to make sure we're healthy. You think you can be good for Daddy?"

There was a chorus of yeses before everyone said their goodbyes, the novelty of a new baby sister wearing off when there were cartoons to be watched downstairs. Harry kept Y/n on the phone while he got Geneva's bottle ready, wanting to stay on the phone as long as possible.

"I know you must be tired," Harry said an hour later. He was in GiGi's nursery and watching her toddle around and play with her toys while talking to his wife.

"I'll hang up soon. I want you to get as much screen time as possible before I go," she said, turning the camera to where the baby was sleeping in the bassinet beside her hospital bed.

"Have you given her a name yet?" he asked.

Y/n shook her head. "I know we decided on one, but I wanted you to be with me when I said it for the first time."

"I love you," Harry said as his heart melted to mush.

"I love you too," Y/n said. She lifted the baby out of the bassinet, cradling her head with the expertise of someone who'd done it for years. Looking at Harry through the phone she said, "You wanna do the honors?"

Laughing out of pure bliss, he nodded. With all the tenderness and care he would've used if he'd been there in person, he said, "Welcome to this crazy, crazy world, Natalia Styles."

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ask-funnybunnydoll · 2 months

Text

Hi!

I think I have to move on.

You may have noticed that all of a sudden my posts have become less and less frequent. That's not on purpose I simply don't have the motivation to keep this ask blog going. I made this blog at the peak of my TADC hyperfixation because I knew it would give me the boost to work. At the start I made like, what? 2 a day, wowzas! Then it became like every other day posts. It's not that I don't enjoy the blog, the ship, the asks. Hell, the asks were the best part of this, I love just seeing what you guys come up with for these three and I get to do the even more fun part of drawing the answer.

But I still have no motivation to keep this going. And I have fixated on something else if you follow my main.

So, thank you for being here and still liking my posts even if I hadn't posted often. This was the most fun I've had and being my first ask blog I ever created just makes it more important to me.

I probably won't ever revive this blog but I'll keep it open for you. And if you want to see what the story I originally planned out was gonna be then check below the cut! Or if you wanna stay curious and theorize then just scroll by. Thank you again, hope ya have a great day and year. I hope my shit was at least okay to you.

I'm not gonna lie. Most of the stuff was just created along the way of drawing. I was like, huh this would be cool let's add that in. And ofc I didn't get to any juicy lore in this but it would've been rushed because I didn't plan beforehand... which you probably could tell xd

For Pomni, here's the plot twist: she's dead and her conscience was updated into the game to keep her somewhat alive. She worked in the place that created the game, she even took part in putting people in there. The entire game was just an expirement to test if immortality was possible, but of course.. everyone goes insane in there so they have to keep on and keep on trying with more and more people to get anywhere. They wait until someone goes to edge of absolute insanity and that's when they take them out of the game, their bodies are still kept alive and they go back to normal. They forget everything that happened while in the game. For Pomni she died just after her conscience was converted to the game, for others they were forced to go while alive. Who killed Pomni? Well, her boss, the head of the experimentation. Why? Idk 😭

For Jax, I gave him a dark story. He was isolated in his home and kept away from the outside world, which is why he lacks empathy, because he simply doesn't know how to feel that way when he never really had knowledge of emotions outside or even inside his home. His father was emotionally and physically ab4sive so.. that didn't help. He latched onto his mother the most but they never saw eachother often. That's all I had for him in mind.

For Ragatha, she lived in the country on her own land with her husband. Yup! She had a husband and a daughter too. Husband was a total jerk and she couldn't leave because she didn't want their kid to experience separated parents. She's a doll in the game because it resembles the doll she made for her daughter.

I also had some plot that I made up in my mind. Like.... Pomni at the end would be the last one alone in the digital circus. That being since she's dead she would just be yknow. Dead if she left the game. Jax and Ragatha leave but only because Pomni forces them. Again don't know how, I probably would have made it up while I went along with the story. So, Pomni is just there alone, with Caine. And she lives like that for eternity. She doesn't go insane anymore and it isn't as lonely as it used to feel like. It would feel like home kind of. But she would be there, longing for her partners forever unless she decides one day to just. Yknow, die..

Also since Jax and Ragatha would forget everything after they leave the game, they just don't remember they were in a relationship and would live their lives like before. Sad and lonely.

Goodness, I forget I make the most sad stories ever sometimes 😭

#thank you #anyway who wants to go get angel food cake 😍😍

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nightgoodomens · 4 months

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Okay strange anon but the sheens and Tennants have been dropping sooo many hints lately it’s genuinley getting to the point where I feel like they don’t really care if anyone knows. Idk if that makes sense but I feel like they’re either building up to actually coming out as some form of poly or something (which still feels unlikely) BUT if they are actually poly that’s four famous adults and about 100 blonde children to all keep something a secret that they aren’t really trying to keep a secret so it’s almost like back for if/when someone does slip up and the polycule tm (however that looks) gets leaked.

I mean Michael and David have been so very obvious from the very beginning but I honestly thought they will never confirm anything.

Look what’s happening at the moment at the mere suggestions - people are being called sick and twisted and not normal just for saying that these two are in love. Fucking hell. People are even finding all the excuses for them being neighbours, they can’t even cope with that.

So I thought no way these two will want to deal with this shit.

But… fuck, something seems to be going on.

Here is my take on when I think things shifted, this is of course a very personal guess, so obviously I might be wrong about this.

So before I get to that certain day - at the time I was only watching things unfold and not commenting on the blog about it apart from dropping a little hint here and there, sorry lovely people who sent me asks then and I didn’t respond, but fuck it, I’m going to talk about it now…

Remember that day GT posted that unfortunate picture of her child and said she was a drunk accident? She bragged about sex.

Remember how Michael went a little insane on Twitter about David then?

Because I remember seeing that and it kind of hit me and I remember thinking… fuck, Michael is jealous. And Michael is no longer happy with being a complete secret.

If I remember correctly, after causing uproar on Twitter that day, he went dead quiet - apart from just showing up quickly the exact moment David was on stage presenting in New York and then he disappeared again.

And things have changed since then.

This is when we started having David talking about Michael, his outfits becoming more obvious, and his behaviour, GT going very hard on queer promo highlighting everything queer he wore, now the outfits being a clear response to Michael’s “Thin Dark Duke”, etc.

December.

Suddenly a private picture of DT and MS.

Suddenly a perfect picture of Michael and David sharing the most special look after Macbeth, like there’s nobody else in the room.

I expected damage control. Surprisingly no.

Instead we got Lapland. One big happy family. In their matching sweaters. And when the general idea was for a photoshoot of Family/Couple/Celeb-on-their-own - we got family and a couple… of Michael and David.

That was a lot within just a few weeks.

And that was PR, official photos. But not the damage control that I expected, instead another nod to the family thing.

Then Georgia starts promoting Anna’s paid for photoshoot and they’re playing wives which is horribly lame to look at because there’s such a lack of real sympathy between them that it only highlights to me how real MS/DT are. But! It does work to show the whole family thing, doesn’t it? It does push the whole we are one big family and nobody is a victim here.

(Also I think they hope she gets a job and goes, considering how miserable Michael looks by her side)

And now we are here. GT dropping on us that they’re neighbours. It’s only beginning of February.

And I see people doing mental gymnastics regarding whether it’s rented or bought and whether door by door… it literally doesn’t matter. At the end of the day the point is the effort to live close to each other.

My opinion though - there’s bigger probability that Michael and David discussed Michael getting something in London and David letting Michael know as soon as a house became available on his street - rather than a house miraculously becoming available to rent by David just when Michael needed it for NYE. Unless David owns another house and rented it to Michael. But - the specifics don’t really matter.

Curious now then… GT just dropped this before Michael’s Graham Norton show and David having something that day too I think?

So… we are either getting damage control next or we are continuing feeding the rumours.

At the moment to me it looks like they want people to realise that there indeed is something going on. Either so if something slips then they go “well… we never hid anything” or there will be some sort of confirmation.

But when I think about confirmation… There’s already been love declarations. What else is there to say?

#NightGoodOmens answers

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pommunist · 3 months

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It’s insane to me how quackity studio’s biggest problem is the one that’s easiest to fix. I was trying to give quackity the benefit of the doubt, but seeing him delete all social media off his devices and streaming like nothing happened, while staff continue to be mistreated with no way to contact anyone in higher positions, and ccs like antione and tubbo have said they have no clue what’s going on and don’t even know if the admins they’re closest to will be coming back. It’s getting harder to “just trust that quackity will handle it”.

LITERALLY like get better communication and 50% of the work is done !!!

I get that finding out which higher ups are the problem and replacing them will take time, as well as figuring out which workers moving forward will be volunteer and which will be paid (as well as how).

but this can’t even start to go right if you don’t being the process by contacting everyone who’s involved with the project (i’m not even talking about the audience here) to figure out what went wrong, who was/is responsible and how to fix it.

but NO better to go radio silent towards your audience, the ccs, and the admins (btw if some volunteer work can be recognised as actual work in this case, going silent towards the workers can be considered an unlawful firing according to french law so that’s even better 🫡👍) !

idk and idc who is making these decisions ig it’s higher admins, Q or some kind of upper management but this has to change. You can’t expect people to keep supporting, watching the new events and buying new merch (which hopefully will go towards paying the admins but we don’t know that, the eggs figures weee ready for sale for a while now) on blind faith alone

#qsmp discourse #qsmp crit #im so sorry i’m tired to talk about this issues but it’s IMPORTANT and still not being solved so #yeah #idk man just so disheartening #especially when people who speak up about their experiences get so much hate #asks

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sourbinnie · 1 year

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☆ home ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst ; hurt/comfort ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> skz + 9th member!reader (gender neutral) ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> the truth is out (again) but this time it brings tears along the way. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> none ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

old faces, new smiles

a/n: i didn't do the same scenario cus i didn't wanna be repetetive but i did something quite similar, that's why i'm putting the og fic link! hope you enjoy it and thank you for requesting<3 / also this one is in first person and idk why, it just came out that way.

i knew doing one of these interviews where they asked nonstop questions about your past, your family and just how your idol journey started was gonna be difficult. i already went through telling my members that i was on hybe before, yet now i found yourself in a similar situation. reliving memories was not hard but having to share them in such a deep space with others and not shed a tear or two was gonna be a challenge.

i sat down with the rest of your members and prepared myself as hyunjin held my hand carefully. he knew i was nervous about these kinds of things, i was one of the shy members of the group and yet they always brought the best out of me when we talked.

"okay are we ready?" chan asked and everyone nodded. the conversation started with the older members sharing their best memories in jyp and how much their family meant and how they supported (or did not) them. it was a light and sweet conversation, there wasn't any tears but there were clear emotions in chan's voice, minho's expressions and changbin's movements.

it wasn't hard to notice that i was really freaking out when they were sharing images and videos of us as trainees. it completely stopped when they showed the hybe dance practice rooms and my videos in there, doing choreographies i still remembered to this day and i knew it was my turn to speak. i laughed when they showed old photos with different idols that i still hold contact with these days. some really close friends, some that i haven't heard back from in a while, some that left like i did and some that debuted just now.

"it's insane how much potential you've always had (y/n)." changbin said it clearly and it took me by surprise because i wasn't expecting compliments this early and i got really embarrassed by those kinds of comments. they filled my soul but i never knew how to answer them.

"even now looking at you, you grow more and more every day." minho mumbled and i still caught every word of his in my ear. it was truly wonderful seeing your elders appreciate you in such a moving way.

this is when the questions start so i prepared myself and i try to rethink what i went through.

"so as you all know, due to that interview with le sserafim, i was a hybe trainee. i spent most of my early teenage years training and made a lot of friends that i miss a lot these days but i hope to see someday." i took a deep breath 'cause even if they weren't completely gone, people just disappeared from my life left to right and i still miss them to this day. "it's insane how different it is from one company to the other but i left hybe with the best memories that i could and i made that decision myself."

"why did you decide to leave?" seungmin asked and i realized that i never was very clear on why i left, i just said that i had to move out and that jyp was closer. it wasn't so much like that but a bit more complex and i didn't want to sadden the mood that day but right now it felt like the situation was gonna be brought to that.

"i-i don't know exactly what it was. i just made the decision when i was going to debut that i wanted to leave the group because i didn't feel prepared mentally and physically to be an idol, which was a shame because i knew a lot of people wanted to be in my position and i felt like i was letting them down. so i decided to leave hybe and move to a different place." i said bitterly and honestly but with everything i was feeling at that moment. i knew my members right now would understand what i was saying but at the time i remember no one understanding my decision.

i felt the tears the entire time in my eyes but right now i had let them go as they flowed through my cheeks. i grabbed a little tissue that jeongin was handing me and whispered a "thanks innie" as i wiped them away.

"what you did was incredibly brave. you put yourself first and what you needed at the time was that. i know it might be hard looking back and thinking that but for a reason you ended up here with us and i think we wouldn't be complete without you." chan said as he patted my back and i just gave him a little smile. it brought me back to where i was, with my friends, well more like my family.

"when i decided to get back to the idol life and back to my dream, i knew i had to go somewhere else. i just felt like i needed to start over again for me and for everyone to see that i could still do it. so i ended up at the competition with all of you and unfortunately got eliminated but then returned and since then i did not look back." i said smiling as everyone cheered and looked at me with a spark in their eyes. all i ever wanted was to make my members' proud and i felt like i was achieving that.

"you really did bring our joy when you came back (y/n), it wasn't easy without you. also felix and minho coming back was one of the best decisions!" jisung added as minho hit him in the shoulder for forgetting them but it just made me laugh. i sighed as i looked around and held hyunjin's hand still in mine.

"i just feel like it wasn't over, it never was. maybe i misread things at the time that i left but if it wasn't for that, i wouldn't have ended up here." i nodded and looked back at everyone. the way they were listening to every word i said was too much because i usually struggle with expressing emotions and saying the right things but i felt like i nailed it this time with how much they were giving me right now.

"i feel like you made the right choice. we wouldn't be having an ace right now if you didn't join back." felix said and i rolled my eyes 'cause i hated when they called me that.

"two aces, don't forget about me." jisung said winking which made minho hit him again and i couldn't help but laugh again. god i loved this group so much and that wasn't gonna change ever. even right now as i was trying to hold back the tears because that conversation meant so much to me, they still managed to make me laugh every time that i needed it.

"i feel like i've said everything i have to say. stop showing pictures and videos of me please, i beg you." i said and what did they do? show more pics of pre debut me.

"the fact that i've got most of these saved speaks volumes of me." hyunjin said, which made me drop his hand and look at him in disbelief. "it's blackmail because you have pictures of me as a baby!".

these are the discussions that are held on the dorms on a day to day basis. but either way, i wouldn't change it for anything in the world and i couldn't believe that i was brought to such a beautiful situation where i would meet my family, my friends, the ones that i would spend the rest of my days with if i could. everything felt on it's right place like i hoped it would and i could not be more thankful.

#sourbinnie #skz imagines #skz drabbles #skz short imagines #skz scenarios #skz 9th member #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids 9th member #stray kids drabbles #skz hurt/comfort #skz angst #skz #stray kids #stray kids imagine

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neonscandal · 5 months

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explain to me how bakugo is traumatized. the kid he grew up with was nice to him once and he immediately came to the conclusion that he should die. that's not trauma, that's being insane.

I'm going to start with the fact that, justifiably, there's never a reason to tell someone to kill themselves. Additionally, note that me saying Bakugo is traumatized does not mean that Midoriya is also not traumatized.

Regarding your question, the trauma that I mentioned on a recent ask, (I assume this one prompted your question) referenced the following:

Captured by the Slime Villain, effectively bound and suffocated in front of an audience (doesn't include the fall out after being someone who is publicly assaulted)

Muzzled, bound and robbed of autonomy in front of a national audience at the Sports Festival

Kidnapped and bound by the LOV (the forcible binding is recurrent through all the above)

Don't really have to go into the swath of issues he and Class 1A likely can and do develop from being child pawns in a war of adults but that can be applied as well re: survivor's guilt, PTSD, paranoia from the mole, etc. from the PLF arc and up until current manga events (I didn't feel like a spoiler warning).

Things that people don't tend to capture in the box of Bakugo's characterization:

He comes from a verbally and physically abusive household, demonstrably (you can jump down to the second paragraph of Bakugo's Strengths listed here for my thoughts on that impact)

Forced to defend himself against older kids from a young age and possibly on a recurring basis, as referenced in the above image. We could probably chalk the confrontation up to a consequence of his false overconfidence, sure. But does that justify 4th graders ganging up on what looks like a kindergartener/first grader?

As for Bakugo and Midoriya's relationship, we don't have much to go on. We know they were close and amicable as kids, things likely went to shit when Midoriya didn't develop a quirk, there's some beetle excursion in the woods that Bakugo refers back to a lot which is pending further context for readers/viewers, and then there's a fall in the river which really soured relations as Bakugo misinterpreted genuine kindness for condescension (see home life and such above). Again, none of this justifies the bullying we see at the start of the series or the way their interactions have shocking physical components. But what I do find interesting is that I've previously likened Bakugo's disposition to Endeavors but, in retrospect, I think he's a strong parallel for Dabi too.

Dabi's rage stems from being robbed of what he thinks is his inalienable birthright as the oldest son and heir to Endeavor's legacy. He disproportionately targets Shouto as the usurper of what is rightfully his. Dabi's claim, of course, makes more sense from a traditional and, probably, cultural standpoint. But the reason I mention it is that I don't think Bakugo was constantly telling Midoriya to take a swan dive off a roof. It doesn't forgive the bullying but it contextualizes why, that day, the bullying reached a new height when Midoriya was outed for still trying to get into UA. Bakugo saw this as an immediate threat to his position because, even though he didn't admit it at the time, if anyone could get into UA, quirkless or not, Bakugo knew Midoriya could.

Just as Midoriya has always seen Bakugo as being heroic and capable of being number 1, Midoriya proves time and time again that, even without a quirk, he's got the spirit of a hero and is successful in spaces where Bakugo is not. As the story progresses, we see evidence and the ultimate manifestation of Bakugo's remorse through his apology and other ways he's softened up. I'm not saying he wasn't a little shit but that's also not all he was (IDK if you've met kids but... without healthy socialization they can be little emotional terrorists). As things have unfolded, we see that, internally, Bakugo uses thoughts of Midoriya to galvanize his path forward and we've recently confirmed that when Bakugo spoke to Kirishima about strength... he was referring to Midoriya, you can scroll down to paragraphs around the last picture. I'm just gleeful about calling it. But, suffice it to say they've both been looking to one another this whole time.

There are still periphery pieces of their background missing because the story is largely from Midoriya's perspective. I don't think we'll get a comprehensive backstory but I think there will be some sort of meaningful explanation behind the beetle trip that may inform why Bakugo ultimately misinterpreted things so poorly at the river. I mean, maybe it's as simple as the fact that he couldn't fathom kindness because it's something not typically afforded to those who are perceived as strong. I don't know but I look forward to finding out.

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vaguely-concerned · 6 months

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I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj)

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed.

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.)

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane.

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably.

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in.

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say)

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style) but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line:

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)…

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts.

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it”

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

#star wars #dooku jedi lost #count dooku #sifo dyas #dooku x sifo dyas #disaster lineage #lene kostana #star wars meta #rael averross #qui gon jinn #I'm being peak on my bullshit in this one. you're welcome and/or I'm sorry as appropriate

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redditreceipts · 6 months

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I’ve been closed to getting peaked and checking out radblr for a while but something gets me about how much a lot of radblr hates ftms idk. There’s a lot of emphasis about how even if sex is otherwise consensual, lying to get consent you wouldn’t have otherwise gotten is rape by deception, which I agree with. However, on a post talking about straight men admitting they claim to be gay just to get sex from ftms “desperate for validation” I didn’t see a single radfem calling this out as rape by deception??? Just honestly people making fun of “delusional straight women” and how them getting manipulated by straight men into believing gay men want them “makes dating life harder for real gay men” and something just irks me about it. There’s a lot of talk about how feminism needs to fight for even female people who disagree and fight against our own rights but it feels like some radfems have no sense of solidarity for ftms, and can only conceive of us as tragic self hating lesbians or manipulative homophobic straight women. And it’s just frustrating because anyone who’s been ftm/some kind of transmasculine in trans communities know how much we don’t get to say fucking anything if it might remotely offend mtfs. I think claims of solidarity for women you disagree with is bullshit if you can’t find solidarity for female people who identify as trans.

hey :) sorry for the late answer

I think that this impression comes because of three reasons:

a lot of feminists receive insane amounts of harassment from ftms. like, death threats on a regular basis. especially on tumblr, where there are a lot more of trans men than trans women, it's just statistically more likely to get harassed by a trans man. but because of this, many have this kind of reaction towards trans men when they really shouldn't. I get that it's kinda hard to fight for the right of a person when they have just sent you death threats, but at the end, you are of course right and we have to fight for every female person, no matter their opinions. also, not all trans men engage in that kind of behaviour.

a lot of people here are detransitioners or desisters (people who have identified as transgender, but now have decided to not take the medical route). I myself have been identifying as non-binary for some time, but now I know that this came from internalised misogyny. I'm sometimes scared about what would have happened if I had listened to many ftm activists and taken the medical route. it's hard to not get bitter when I see people on here telling women just like me to start testosterone and maybe make the biggest mistake of their life. and there's always the thought of "that could have been me". but well, in the end, we can't act as if all trans men did that kind of thing. it's just a portion, even though they are the most vocal ones oftentimes. (also, there probably are some people for whom medical transition is the best option. we talk a lot about how internalised misogyny influences gender dysphoria, but there might as well be cases of gender dysphoria that people are just born with, or that are so ingrained that they can't be healed. these people deserve compassion and acceptance too)

for the thing with trans men in gay male dating spaces - that's probably where we disagree the most. I have been on lesbian events where there have been "trans lesbians", and there has been an insane amount of guilt-tripping, incel behaviour, and I have been sexually harassed by a "trans lesbian" who later went on to rape a lesbian (and yes, this weren't some internet people, all of that was in person). a lot of us have been exposed to this kind of predatory behaviour, and I think that there is no excuse for a straight person to go to a gay event and expect people to date you. full stop. is it shitty to trick trans men into sex by pretending to be a gay man? yes. is it sex under false pretenses? yes. are both of the involved parties engaging in a similar behaviour (i. e. acting as something you're not to have sex with members of a marginalised demographic)? yes. should we fight for and try to protect trans men? also yes. is it hard to have sympathy for a person that went into a space trying to do conversion therapy on gay men so they can have sex with them and got tricked themselves? at least for me, it is. but should we try to get over that feeling and help these trans men as well? definetly.

but well, I actually think that you yourself can add some interesting perspectives. being a feminist is not a religion, and you can find your own opinion. you don't have to agree with everything that is said here, and we are not like certain other online groups where everyone has to be in line or they're a traitor (or at least I hope not). if there are things you think people on here are wrong about, speak about it! tell us how to better support trans men and even better if it's from your own experience :) if you think that there is a voice missing, you yourself can be that voice. :)

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timdrakemybeloved · 9 months

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Snape makes me so fucking mad holy fuck, I’m incapable of thinking of him positively. I don’t even like Draco and I think of him 10x more positively than I think of Snape.

What kind of person gets bullied as a child and then grows up and bullies the child of his bully like that makes him way worse than James (btw I love James and I fully believe he matured and grew up and is a good person who deserved more than for Snape to tell a literal Nazi terrorist to kill him and his infant son but to leave his wife alive). Snape had way more power over the kids he taught than James did over him and what did he do with it?

He made fun of their appearance and scared them to the point that he was Neville’s boggart (which when you think about it is so awful because 1, Neville’s parents got tortured into insanity and I’m pretty sure he was there, and his boggart probably should have been Bellatrix or his uncle even, and 2, he did it because Neville was the other possible prophecy child and Snape was upset that Voldie didn’t pick him to kill when HE GAVE HIM THE PROPHECY IN THE FIRST PLACE).

He said shitty things about Harry’s dead parents and orphan-hood, was glaring at Harry literally right off the bat so don’t say it was because he got into trouble a lot, asked him questions he couldn’t possibly know, told Draco to summon a serpent during duelling club??? How irresponsible is that???

Literally lied to the minister just to get Sirius killed, which atp is ridiculous (I think Sirius was dumb as fuck, careless, possibly malicious, to tell snape where to go to find moony, but snape literally already suspected that Remus was a werewolf so idk what the fuck he thought was gonna happen if he found him during the full moon, and calling it a murder attempt is a stretch), like grow up please this man was in Azkaban for 12 years which is a hugely disproportionate punishment for anything he did do to you, and the reason he was there in the first place was literally fraudulent, which he knew and he lied anyway.

And honestly the Legilimancy lessons were fucking joke, who looks through an abused kids memories and makes fun of both the abuse and the few good memories he has?? And then he’s surprised that Harry tried to equal the playing field between them?? Snape had way more power than Harry did, and obviously it wasn’t the best thing to do to a person but yk what I’m not going to judge Harry’s actions, Snape was abusive and the victim isn’t to blame for their reactions to their abuser.

And he threw Harry across the room for seeing his memories?? Abuse. To be honest even seeing the memory about James being a bully felt like JKR trying to make shit up as fast as possible to make Snape seem more redeemable, which apparently worked for some people who think abusing kids is okay as long as you have a tragic backstory and an abusive parent. And it actually makes me really mad that he thought Harry was treated like a prince so decided to treat him like shit so he wouldn’t get any ideas about having self esteem or confidence, then found out that he was abused and then just did nothing and tbh treated him worse. And the lessons themselves were actually painful to Harry?? They definitely made his mind more vulnerable, he had more nightmares.

And let’s not forget that he joined a Nazi group that wanted to exterminate people like his best friend, called his best friend a slur, viewed Lily as an exception to the other muggleborns, and invented sectumsempura for his enemies IN SCHOOL which means the Maurauders.

And it makes me sick that he looked in a room with a crying baby whose parents just got murdered, his mom right in front of him, and a dead woman who was killed by his Nazi leader like directly because of his actions, and then he ignored the baby and went to hug the woman’s dead body. Like if I was Lily, I wouldn’t want him near either my body or my child, but if he was my only option, then he better be fucking taking care of my living son. Like she rejected him his weird obsession for her freaks me tf out.

And I get that without Snape asking for Lily to be spared, Voldemort wouldn’t have asked Lily to stand aside and the blood protection wouldn’t have been activated, but literally once good thing happening because of a tragedy he caused doesn’t make him a good person.

Anyway. Think I got it out of my system for now. Fuck Snape. :)

Edit: Just to be clear, I actually find his character really compelling, even though I dislike him and his actions. And of course I’m not saying no one can like Snape.

#anti snape apologists #anti snape #fuck snape fr #snape bashing #actually no it’s not because these are factual things that he’s done and they’re not exaggerated and he’s just a shitty person #not a good person who made mistakes

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lilblucat · 1 year

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Quick question!! So with the recent episode of MD out (I'm not sure if you've seen it yet, but if you have you could answer this if ya like) are you worried for how the show is gonna handle the love triangle between Uzi, N, and V? Because ship wars are still going on at least over on Twitter and Envy shippers are going crazy and insane, plus it doesn't help that some of them are toxic (not saying that Nuzi shippers aren't toxic too, because they are) but, I'm worried that these shipping wars are gonna get worse and heck, it even concerns me that shipping could end up ruining the show..just look at shows like Miraculous Ladybug + Star Vs, but Star Vs is a huge example because that show was pretty much ruined by shipping and it also ended up making Starco feel rushed at the end..I've seen people point out that the love triangle is common in Liam's work so maybe I'm missing something. But, are you worried for how this love triangle will be handled in the end and do you think it could ruin and mess up the show?? Also, which couple would you say you're rooting for (When it comes to Envy and Nuzi, at least) and who do you think works better as a couple? I don't wanna cause any shipping drama, but I was wanting to ask this question because it's been on my mind, it also gave me some concerns..because don't be wrong, I'm someone who enjoys and adores shipping and has fun with it, but there is something that I never wanna see is to have a ship take over the story entirely, you know what I'm saying?

Anon, this is not a quick question lol.

Idk I don't think the love triangle is gonna be all that important going forward. It felt like there was going to be some love dynamic between Uzi, N, V, and Thad but as of episode 5 I think that's all mostly scrapped now. Thad is completely irrelevant and it seems like episode 5 cleaned up the romantic plot threads between N and V.

Episode 5 is... weird to talk about regarding the romance threads in the series. Like yeah, it does offer some Envy moments, but then once they remember everything they go back to their dynamic up to this point. V immediately wants to hurt Uzi while N is much more excited to see Uzi again than react to V's quick embarrassed blushy moment. The events of this episode and the lack of any shipping merch for N and V kind of seal the deal for me that Envy isn't happening. Episode 3 went all in on the shippy vibes between N and Uzi on the marketing, so episode 5 not getting any for Envy just feels like proof to me, honestly.

However, most of the marketing was about N and Uzi, and while they are the main 2 characters, it feels like this episode was meant more to progress their dynamic along than N and V's. N had been saving Uzi from something every episode up to now, and this was finally Uzi's turn to repay the favor and boy do I have things to talk about regarding that. Uzi having so much ability to really mess with N, but Uzi ultimately not doing any of that because she wants what's best for him. Which, you'll notice is what V also wants, but the difference is Uzi actually communicates with him while V seems stuck on what her own idea of that is. Like, Uzi clearly has a crush on the guy, but even though she's seeing his past with V and how close they were she doesn't take any action to make him stop remembering things. She actually encourages him to uncover as much as he can, which he thanks her for at the end. I don't know how to put it, it's just such a risk she took even though she knew it was the right thing to do and I just really like that aspect of her character this episode.

Anyway, that wall of text is to explain my reasoning behind what I have to say on the state of shipping after this episode. I think the endgame ship is going to be Nuzi because I see no meta reason to ship otherwise. That's literally the only ship with merch behind it and it's the ship Glitch and staff seems to like the most art of. I feel that going forward, the show will end up going that route with these characters and people will either have to accept that or drop the show if shipping is really that important to them. And tbh, Liam's works aren't that focused on shipping anyway. There's probably going to be romance, but it won't be a tumor on the show. I haven't read any of his stuff yet where it felt like the romance threads were hurting the story tbh. That's another point for Nuzi tbh in that pretty much all of his main 2 duos have the most ship tease in his writing. I would not compare his writing to those other shows because Liam's writing is so distinct and has its quirks. Also, Murder Drones is written by a single person compared to these network shows which are written by many people, which is how you get these convoluted romance plots in the first place.

People are gonna be toxic, that's just a given and especially so because the main two ships in this fandom are at odds with each other. Once the show commits to one, I think things will chill down. I will say though, all the stupid discourse I see about Disassembler/Worker ships is pretty bad and misinformation keeps this a hot topic in the fandom. It's not a problem, yet people keep making it one and I cannot understand how this happens lol.

And yeah it's probably obvious but yeah I'm Team Nuzi. I've just always felt like Liam was aiming for it anyway plus I have a feeling that if the genders were swapped, Envy would be no where near as popular as it is. I get the appeal of Worker Envy, but Disassembler Envy is a whole different beast where V's treatment of N is still completely unaddressed. That's not to dis V exactly, but I think people forget that she remembered much more than N prior to episode 5 and cared enough about him to try to keep him safe from the Solver shenanigans. Her methods for doing that, however, definitely need to be addressed at some point. Like again, people forget that she didn't do all that because she didn't remember, she did that because she was traumatized and ended up hurting N because of her actions. Regardless of why she did it, she's still very harsh with him and hasn't made any steps to fix this. Also again, not to dis her as a character, she's obviously made these choices out of trauma and I think that's pretty realistic.

N also has baggage that V's presence gets in the way of, but since he's been with Uzi for a while he's been getting through it. When separated from V, N learns to grow a spine and respect himself. I think V can learn and grow too, but only if she takes a leave from N to get her away from the living reminder of her traumatic past. That's why I'm personally not into Envy in the current time, they cannot reconnect in the same way anymore, they are simply too different from how they were back in the past. Reconnection means a whole new dynamic, and at this point I don't think romance is in the cards for this new dynamic.

#wall of text . txt #not art #oooohhhhhhh I think people are gonna hate some of these opinions here but man this is just legit what I think and see in the fandom #murder drones

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sapphim · 7 months

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speaking of varric's nicknames, doesn't he outright admit in banter with merrill that he only ever calls people by their nicknames to annoy them? or at least, he admits to calling isabela "rivani" to annoy her specifically? i just thought his tendency toward nicknames was merely his love for being the world's most annoying dwarf, or something.

Oh 100% the annoyance factor is real and true and shouldn't be dismissed. Like, what's the explanation for "Junior", besides that Carver is easy to get a rise out of and Varric is, at heart, an obnoxious little troll? But I don't think it's as simple as a broad "he's doing this to be annoying" all the way across the board. Like, conversely, where's the annoyance factor in how he addrresses "Sunshine"?

Hell, Aveline and Hawke both give Varric shit about not being given a cute nickname. Can't win! Also an indication that the annoyance factor of nicknames is specific and/or individual, and not all-inclusive. (Although Aveline is absolutely just complaining to complain. Again, can't win, grass is greener, etc.)

Aveline: Blondie, Sunshine, Daisy, Rivaini… what am I? Varric: Beg your pardon? Aveline: You don’t call anyone by name except for me. Where’s my nickname? ... Varric: Haven’t thought of a good one yet. What do you think of “Red”? Aveline: Too common.

That said, Varric's near obsessive avoidance of given names does prompt open annoyance from certain companions. Notably not Isabela (or even Carver, that I know of, though Carver gets annoyed about pretty much everything else Varric says, so). Fenris probably grouses about it most often, which is fair, considering. Anders, Fenris, and Merrill all get into it with him in some content cut from Varric's romance reaction conversation.

Varric: You and Whatshisname, that mage, seem to be getting pretty close. Anders: You’d think after three years the dwarf would learn my name. And I’m standing right here! Varric: Right, I see you there, Blondie. Don’t worry.

I love pretty much all of those reactions, except, I kind of really personally hate Merrill's bit?

Merrill: For the hundredth time, my name is not “Daisy!” And I’m right here, you oaf! Hawke: You’re just encouraging him, you know. He’s doing it on purpose to make you squirm. Varric: It’s true. I only do it because I love the way the points of your ears turn red when you get mad.

I just don't believe, given the whole sum of their interactions throughout the game, that Merrill has spent the last three years believing that Varric is being an oaf and getting upset about being called Daisy. Some people like this bit too, idk. Me, I don't buy it!

And at this point it's worthwhile to delve into Varric's development as a character. Gaider has said that Varric was originally supposed to be an "untrustworthy," "sleazy, slimeball" kind of guy, but that as development went on they found they "needed a character that stood up for you with all the opposing personalities in the party." He's more recently described Varric as "that 'slimy car salesman' character we'd planned."

Gaider has also said it's the case that, because development time on DAII was so insanely short, that "Everything was going to be a first draft... A lot of what we’re putting out is going to be raw. We’re not going to get the editing we need. We’re not going to get the kind of iteration we need."

So, all right, here's my extremely tagential onion, that was not asked for? I got a bit of a bug up my butt about the exchange above and a related one in Varric's rivalry path where he says "Don't call Daisy an ogre! You'll make her cry." Because they are just, kind of stand-out odd lines, to me. And so I checked to see when various lines of dialogue were written. We can do this! Every line of dialogue, when it's saved to the talktable, is saved with an ID number (the string reference), and they're saved in chronological order. If a line of dialogue is completely rewritten in a later revision, this number won't reflect that, but we also know that DAII did not have development time to allot for major revisions. So.

Here's what was written first, for Varric's dialogue: Act 1, Questions and Answers. Act 1, A Business Discussion. Act 1, his introduction. Act 2, Friendly Concern. And then so on and so forth etc. Mostly chronological order. Both of Anders' "whatshisname, that mage"s are comparatively early lines. But the banter, which is where a lot of defining character interactions take place, were all written fairly late in development, kind of in one big lump, after the vast, vast majority of Varric's general quest dialogue.

And that's interesting, right? You can kind of see echoes of Varric's concept drifting over time away from grimy car salesman toward your friendly neighborhood friendbuddyguy. You could even kind of read it as (not entirely intentional) organic character development over time, if things didn't get kind of muddled between acts which are, after all, supposed to take place three years apart, not that they really had the dev time to really nail that down and make you feel it.

Anyway! Sorry! Tangent! Circling back to the banter in question!

Merrill: Do you ever miss her? Varric: Isabela? Of course I do. Merrill: You called her by her name. I’ve never heard you do that before. Varric: No fun in calling her Rivaini if she’s not here to be annoyed by it.

It's interesting! Because like, first of all, it's wrong. Varric calls Isabela by her given name more regularly than he does any other companion, including Aveline (who he has not even given a nickname to). So, clearly Merrill's not been paying attention. (Not that I expect Kirby to have like kept a tally while writing Varric's dialogue lmao I just think it's funny.)

Secondly, he's deflecting. Because he misses her! He misses herrrrrr. He's a softyyyyyy. The two of them really got on. And, he's deflecting.

(Thirdly, if he is only deflecting, and not both deflecting and lying through his lying teeth: does him calling Isabela by her name fairly regularly mean that he only wants to annoy her sometimes? As opposed to, say, Carver and Fenris and Sebastian, who he is more than happy to needle all of the time constantly? I could see it tbh.)

Although, again, if Isabela is annoyed—and she would not be wrong to be! albeit she is an inveterate nicknamer herself—she's playing it pretty close to her chest.

Isabela: You’ve a nickname for everyone. Varric: That’s true. Rivaini. Isabela: But everyone just calls you Varric. That’s hardly fair.

Which is to say! Yes! Varric is the world's most annoying dwarf, and he loves it. But I think there's ~nuance~ as well as a lot of room for interpretation!

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