#where Lloyd went through MORE trauma

[helpmyinterestsareverywhere]

Sometimes I'll just be sitting doing something and the (kinda) canon explanation for Wu's teas will just hit me and I have a little giggle every single time

#its kinda canon isnt it? #from those books that uhhh... Tommy(?) wrote #the name is escaping me right now #splinters eye?? #thats not right #OH #SPLINTER IN THE BLIND MAN'S EYE #that one #where Lloyd went through MORE trauma #anyway it makes me giggle #it just tickles me #lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #lloyd montgomery garmadon

[pebbledrat]

The longer I'm around the more convinced I become that Jill and Michael also had some kinda codependent-besties archetype thing going on?? they may or may not even have been aware of it, but like. they're kind of a matched set, you know? Frequently purchased together, do not separate them

#this is based more on vibe then evidence but like. boy oh boy is there evidence #you could look at how the Lovers archetype affected Raven and Lloyd when they got split up and then compare that to Michael spiraling #idk. obviously there are a lot of factors at play here but like. sort of chronologically- #they were trapped in the tower together and had to stay sane for each other. making up games together. trying not to crack. #she was his first friend. you know? #they show up to the dinner party together. they bring wine and scotch! (she taught him to drink) #(they used to laugh and drink and party together until suddenly they couldn't anymore) #jill takes the chance to admit to lloyd that she worries about michael. to which!!!! lloyd says!! at least he has you #jill and michael's well being has ALWAYS been interwoven #or like. or like. in act 6 in the final battle jill follows her own melody line bc she's ticked and this is personal #compared with michael who doesn't have a personal stake in this other than the playhouse crew being involved! #michael doesn't have his own melody. he sings to the love and a dream playhouse tune bc that's his motivation for fighting #UNTIL jill is in danger!! when Michael jumps in to save her he finally gets his own musical flavor in the song! then it's banjo boy time #idk. there was a lot of loss and multiple different traumas Michael went through after that. but suddenly he's alone again #at least he's not stuck in a swamp or a tower for years but. he's all the way back to square one. he's alone. he doesn't cope well with that #and while he misses all of them he really misses jill. at the worst of it he doesn't even want to reunite with lloyd and david #but like. he's in a real bad way. he's hit rock bottom and he carries so much guilt over not being able to help jill #to the point where even hearing that there's hope is crushing to him bc it means that there Was something he could've done #and he did nothing #he's devastated all over again not just bc he lost her. but bc he abandoned her. he failed her. #we don't have nearly as much about how jill is doing but we do have her song titled Michael about their early relationship #and the way they rely on each other #go listen to that and tell me the narrative wouldn't just eat that up and link their destinies and mental stability #they spent years in level five. you can't tell me they got away with all this unscathed #i definitely think losing son mi was a big part of why michael spiraled but this essay is about jill and michael specifically #hdhjdfhrjrdgtsg how long can post go (challenge mode) #pebble speaks #shaperaverse

[enavstars]

May you bliss us with your angst ninja headcanons?

mainly kai pls

Sorry for the delay. You asked mostly for Kai's so I delivered. If anyone wants more hcs about the others I can work on it some time in the future (I also have more of Kai).

Now the hcs:

• All the ninja have PTSD from everything they’ve been through

• And abandonment issues

• Cole has an eating disorder and eats when he’s stressed, this is one of the reasons he is very insecure of his weight. People online poke at him for it

• Jay's terrified of losing his loved ones again because of him. That is another reason why he went absolutely crazy post Seabound, as he thinks it was his fault Nya had to resort to sacrificing herself

• He used to be bullied for living in a junkyard before becoming a ninja and that's why he was ashamed of it

• Zane always shoves down everything wrong that happens to him (e.g being the Ice Emperor for way too long to be ok about it) because he puts the team and their needs first.

• Nya has nightmares from the time she died in skybound but doesn't tell anyone.

• She had to keep her work and love life secret from her brother for fear that he would shut her down to protect her. Her fear persisted well into s1 and that's why she felt she had to hide Samurai X even from Kai

• Lloyd still admires his uncle despite his obsession with the green ninja (and all the neglect that came with it) because he's the only relative that actually took him in

• All of the ninja have at some point hidden an injury at least once. But Kai and Nya are the ones that do it more often (Nya specially when she was samurai X), and know how to treat mild wounds because of it.

• Kai and Nya do physical activities when they’re stressed or have emotions they don’t want to process. They can do their thing like Kai working in the forge and Nya doing mechanics but they usually train, however they can go on for hours (Kai has passed out a few times)

• Kai and Zane have a very poor sense of self. Zane’s comes from him not valuing his life and thinking he’s expendable since he can be rebuilt, ignoring all the trauma that comes from getting severely hurt or “dying”. Kai has problems seeing his worth as a human being because he’s never lived for himself; everything he does is for someone else and so he thinks his value resides in what he can do for other people. 

• Kai is terrified of the idea of being alone, it’s his worst fear.

• He has THE WORST coping mechanisms and Zane is confused on how his body was able to go through all of them (Alcoholism, illegal fights, smoking…)

• Kai is an insomniac, he barely sleeps most nights and instead just waits until he passes out (He has very deep eyebags because of it but hides them with make up, covering his freckles too). He sometimes bumps into some other ninja at night since they all have fucked up sleep schedules. 

• Lloyd also has a lot of problems sleeping because of nightmares and goes to Kai or Nya’s room where he feels safer (mostly into Kai’s). Sometimes they stay up at night chilling or they try to sleep. In those cases the nights with Lloyd are the ones where Kai sleeps the most because he feels safer too.

• Kai has chronic depression because of his fucked up childhood

• Lloyd thought he had depression too for a while but it turned out to be autistic burnout because of the stress of being the green ninja. But he can’t properly rest or heal from the burnout so he’s exhausted most of the time.

• When he’s stressed Kai forgets to eat and can go days with very little food because he’s used to it from being poor in his childhood.

• Genuinely forgot what it feels like to be a kid and have no responsibilities so it’s his personal mission to not let that happen to Lloyd. Kai would be devastated if Lloyd ended up like him.

• Kai sometimes feels insecure about his face scars and contemplates hiding them with make up.

• Kai’s touch starved but terrified of letting people in.

• He hides his negative emotions as anger and when the others try to reach out to him he pushes them away by getting angry at them until it's mutual and they leave him alone.

• Never told the others about what he did after Zane’s “death”. He fixed himself up, alone.

#ninjago #ninjago headcanons #headcanons

[fandomsnrambles]

The spinjitzu family has recently become my roman empire for some reason, you’re all going to see so much of them 😭

Anyway, i’ve been thinking about his relationships with his sons recently. And I know he doesn’t have a good relationship with any of them.

I know people argue ‘Wu was his favourite’ but i think if we actually look at how he acts, you realise he didn’t really have a favourite. I also feel personally inclined to respectfully mention that just because Garmadon said it, doesn’t make it true. Characters have biases that mess with their worldviews after all. It’s like saying Wu’s to blame for the devourer’s bite because he said he was. Even though he was like seven, maybe nine and had no idea that snake even existed.

Thats why you should take everything they say with a grain of salt and then consider their actions.

Wu’s relationship with his father is complicated. In the spinjitzu books he mentions how he wants his father’s approval, but doesn’t know how to start with getting it. We also get hints of the FSM’s (flawed) parenting methods in the show. I’ve noticed he’s emotionally distant even if he’s physically there. I mean, Wu says his father talked to them (Garmadon and Wu) less after the Aspheera incident. Makes me think that the FSM was definitely not there emotionally.

Due to this, Wu’s emotional needs as a child weren’t really met. His fathers distance hurt him and the FSM (maybe accidentally) neglected him. I say accidentally because i’m pretty sure the FSM is a traumatised child soldier who doesn’t know how to properly cope with everything so they just shut down/dissociate.

Wu was also raised with high expectations (alongside Garmadon.) This probably put him under a lot of stress to keep up. I’m thinking gifted child who got burnt out and more depressed as he aged.

I also think the FSM has trust and paranoia issues. You can look at Nineko and the way they went about dying for this. This guy really hands their son a script of where he died without telling him he gave it to him and mentions the bare minimum details. (I wonder if mentioning too much details got the FSM hurt. Maybe thats why he’s so distant.) Of course, trauma doesn’t really excuse being a flawed parent.

I also feel the need to mention that Wu unintentionally copies his father’s trauma responses. Heck, we could even talk about how Garmadon does the same, and later Lloyd. They all bottle their emotions and issues and hope nothing bad ever happens with that ever. Too bad for them though, we know how this ends

(Oof this is ✨generational trauma✨ at work)

Moving on to Garmadon, we know that after he got bitten by the devourer, the FSM helped him through his episodes and tries his best to find a cure. From this i can honestly say that the FSM did love and care for his sons. But this doesn’t mean they knew how to properly show that they did (especially because he doesn’t have a proper basis for what parent-child relationships should even look like.)

We see this when we get to know of Garmadon’s insecurities as a child. He doesn’t think there was anything wrong with him and seems to hate how the FSM tries to find a cure for him. Maybe because he doesn’t like the implication that he needs ‘fixing’ more than anything else. Garmadon’s also different than Wu in the sense that he grows more resentful of his father as he grows older whilst Wu clings to his father’s attention to get approval/praise.

I also want to mention how this resentment built up also affects how his perception of Wu’s relationship with their dad. He thinks Wu is favoured probably because Wu doesn’t have the venom and is the good one (because the venom apparently makes Garmadon the ‘bad’ one) and he sees his younger brother as the golden child. This probably built to jealousy and then guilt for the jealousy because Garmadon does love his brother a lot.

The high expectations also come’s into play here. It probably puts a lot of weight on Garmadon’s shoulders. Which doesn’t make his growing feelings of resentment better nor does it make his insecurities about his venom any better.

What makes this whole situation worse is that NO ONE in this family knows how to communicate. Wu doesn’t tell his dad or his brother how he feels, Garmadon doesn’t as well and FSM wouldn’t be caught breathing a word of his feelings to be honest.

This whole family would rather die than communicate ffs.

In conclusion:

#ninjago #sensei wu #lego ninjago #ninjago wu #lord garmadon #ninjago garmadon #ninjago lloyd #kinda? hes mentioned #master wu #sensei garmadon #garmadon #ninjago fsm #fsm ninjago #first spinjitzu master #ninjago first spinjitzu master #btw i hc he/they pronouns for the fsm #along with aroace #spinjitzu brothers

[onceuponastory]

family - sierra six/court gentry x reader

Plot: When Claire is missing her old life and hobbies after everything that happened, Six knows what to do. // Requested by anon. Pairing: Sierra Six/Court Gentry (I use both names in this) x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of death, kidnapping, trauma, scarring and nightmares. Also some mentions of reader seeing/hearing things that aren’t there. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: My Six streak continues! Thanks anon for the request! I hope you like it.

Once again, not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

“Morning Claire.” Y/N smiles, dishing up their breakfast as she sits down at the table.

“Morning Y/N. Where’s Six?” Y/N frowns as her brain swims with thoughts. Thoughts on how to tell Claire that Six is outside cleaning up after another assassin tried to break in last night. Then again, Claire probably knows already. She’s a smart kid, and even though she’s tough as nails (especially with her heart condition), Y/N can still tell that this whole thing is upsetting her. Being kidnapped, losing her uncle and then almost losing both her and Court has been tough. On all of them. 

Tenderly, Y/N runs her finger along the scar on her abdomen. The scar left on her by Lloyd Hansen, who still haunts her nightmares to this day. Even though he’s been dead for at least a month now, she’s still terrified of him somehow coming back and finding them again. And especially finishing the job he started. Sometimes, Y/N swears she hears his laugh or his voice when nobody is there. Even though Six always checks each lock before they go to bed, Y/N’s still terrified. Lloyd Hansen infiltrated and corrupted every aspect of their safe, happy lives. And he’s still doing it now, even in death. Like some sort of boogeyman.

“Morning.” Court’s voice sounds as he walks into the room, cutting through her thoughts. Y/N breathes a small sigh of relief. It’s over. It’s just the three of us. Just focus on the good times. He takes her into his arms, gently pecking her on the lips. “You alright?” He whispers, noticing the fear in her expression. Y/N nods. “Y/N….” He trails off, but she shakes her head.

“Not here. I’m okay. Promise.” She murmurs. Reluctantly, Court nods, and the pair sits down with Claire to eat.

“I know what you’re both gonna say….” Claire says suddenly, and Y/N and Court raise a brow. “But I was wondering if we could go see a movie? Instead of being stuck in the house?” Seeing the look on their faces, she sighs. “Or not.” 

“I’m sorry. It’s just not safe yet.” Court sighs as Y/N reaches over to take her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. Despite her obvious disappointment, Claire fixes a smile on her face, and she nods. Y/N feels her heart breaking. She’d love more than anything to say yes, and for the three of them to spend a day together doing normal family things. But it’s just not possible. Especially since the CIA and everyone else Court pissed off are still hunting them. Being on the run and hiding are the only things that can keep them safe. 

Still, it’s not fair to Claire to be stuck inside, wasting her days in case someone spots them. If Y/N could, she’d take it all away from her and just give her a normal life. Her trauma, her condition, everything. All gone.

If only life worked like that.

“Thanks for breakfast. I’ll be in my room if you need me.” Claire murmurs, pushing her chair out and leaving the room.

“Poor kid.” Y/N sighs as she watches her go. “I wish we could do something.”

“Actually.” Court muses. “I think we can.” Quickly, he gets up, pressing another kiss to her temple. “I have some things to do.” Before she can even ask what he means, or if he wants her to help, he’s gone, and Y/N is left alone at the table, frowning.

What the hell is he planning?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Claire, sweetheart, are you okay?” Y/N asks a few hours later, knocking on her door. It’s been a while since she went inside and shut her door, and even though she can still hear her records playing, Y/N is getting worried. It’s not like her to be so quiet. “Do you want something to eat? A drink?” No further noise sounds, and Y/N’s heart rate increases as she panics that something bad has happened. Yet, just before she’s about to call Court to break the door down, it opens, and Claire’s head pops out. The red rim around her eyes shows she’s been crying, and Y/N’s heart sinks. “Oh, love.” She soothes, opening her arms out for Claire to come in for a hug, which she does.

“I’m sorry.” She murmurs into Y/N’s sweater, making Y/N’s heart break all over again. It’s not her fault. None of this is. “I’ve just been missing my uncle a lot recently, and with everything that’s happened-” Another sob sounds, and Claire squeezes Y/N a little tighter.

“Sweetheart, it's not your fault. Six and I understand. It’s awful being stuck in here all the time.” Y/N tells her, gently stroking her hair. “But I promise you, we love you very much, and we will always protect you.”

“I love you too.” She replies, and Y/N almost starts crying at that. The girls stay cuddled together for a while, until Court’s voice sounds.

“Hey, what’s-” Without another word, Claire detaches herself from Y/N, and immediately tackles him in a hug, knocking him off guard slightly. Court looks up at Y/N, and when he sees the tears in her eyes, he understands. “Oh.” He murmurs. Wrapping one arm around Claire, he opens his other one, which Y/N cuddles into. The trio stay there for a while, safe in each other’s embrace. “I have a surprise for you.” Court says after a while. “Follow me.” He gestures down the hallway, and the girls do as he asks. He leads them towards the living room, and they gasp when they see what he’s done.

Fairy lights stretch across the room, illuminating it with their soft glow. Blankets and cushions lay across the couch, and bowls of snacks and ice cream sit on the coffee table. A movie, no doubt Claire’s favourite, is set up on the TV. “I know it’s not exactly the same as the movie theatre, but I hope it’s just as good.” A warm feeling, one of love, fills Y/N’s entire body. They’re so lucky to have him. 

“Thank you!” Claire squeals, giving Court another squeeze before running over to the couch and burying herself under the blankets. Y/N squeezes Court’s hand. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” She whispers, and he smiles.

“Just for you two.” He kisses her softly, and she moans happily, melting into his embrace once more.

“Guys, come on! The movie is about to start!” Claire’s voice sounds, and Y/N and Court break apart, laughing. They join her under the blanket, and all three snuggle in together as the movie plays. In their brief time together, the three have been through a lot, and there’s undoubtedly more to come. Yet, moments like this, spent together and as a family show that maybe things will be alright after all. 

As long as they’re together.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This is just a reminder that I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @onceuponastory-library​ and turn on my notifications to be notified when I next post.

#sierra six x reader #sierra six x you #sierra six x y/n #sierra six #court gentry x reader #court gentry x you #court gentry x y/n #court gentry #the gray man #the gray man fanfic #the gray man spoilers #the gray man fanfiction

[guplia]

My third fic for @badthingshappenbingo!

Fandom: Ninjago

Trope: Rendered Mute

Also available on AO3!

A Voice Gone With the Wind

It was another night in Ninjago City, and Lloyd was going to go to bed in peace.

It had been a week, but it was still hard to believe that Cole was no longer a ghost. Lloyd was really happy for his brother because he personally could not imagine watching all your friends grow old while you stay the same age forever. And not being able to touch water! That's torture!

Little did Lloyd know, tonight he was gonna learn what real torture was.

He entered the bathroom, and locked the door because he knew from unfortunate experience that someone was bound to open the door. He hadn't even made a move yet when the lights turned off. Okay, no big deal. As long as the Bounty's engine was still working everything would be just fine. And Lloyd couldn't hear any screams or feel himself descending so it was just a small problem. But as he couldn't see anything, he had to get out of the bathroom and use it when the power came back. He unlocked the door and tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge.

Okay. Just call someone. Lloyd opened his mouth to scream ‘HELLO?’ when someone gagged him with a cloth and handcuffed him with what was most likely vengestone. The blond turned around and was able to see his enemy as he was holding a lit matchstick. Morro. How…?

Lloyd made muffled noises when Morro spoke up. “If you make even the quietest noise, I'll punish you. I know what you're thinking. Let me explain.” He smirked. “Long story short, I became a human again by entering the rift before Cole did.”

He hung Lloyd to the pole that held the curtains for the bathtub. “Now I'm so sick of you. I never got to have my revenge for not letting me get my rightfully earned role as the Green Ninja! Speaking of which, I think you can handle a little pain… right?”

Before Lloyd could understand what he meant, a muffled scream came out of his mouth as he felt a knife digging through his skin. “Shut up!” Morro yelled. He dragged the knife through Lloyd's torso, but not enough to hit any vital organs. Lloyd screamed again. Morro grabbed him by the collar. “If you make one more noise, there will be consequences.”

He kept ripping Lloyd's skin with the knife, and the blond kept quiet this time, praying that Kai or anyone else would come in the bathroom and put an end to this. Or even better, this whole thing was a terrible nightmare.

Eyes closed, he felt the knife leave his skin, and that was when he started sobbing. He forgot about Morro for a blissful second. He felt a hand squeeze his neck. “What did I say about making noises?” Lloyd thought that would be the end. Morro would choke him to death. Instead, his fate was way worse.

He felt the cloth coming out of his mouth, but as he couldn't breathe anymore, he kept it open for vain attempts at gasping for breath. And that was a horrible mistake.

Morro forced the knife down his throat, and Lloyd had never felt more agonising pain in his life. He kept gagging out blood, knowing this would be the end. He tried kicking Morro, but he knew it was useless.

He then heard a familiar voice. “What's going on in there? Lloyd?” Morro pulled the knife out of his throat and jumped out of the window, to who knows where. Lloyd was hyperventilating now. He was coughing up blood.

He didn't notice Cole breaking the door open, or the scream for Wu to come immediately. What he did notice, however, was Kai at his side, rubbing his back, staring at his body with panicked eyes. Then it all went black.

***

Lloyd didn't really know what was going on. He could hear unfamiliar voices discussing “damage to larynx”, “rendered mute” and “trauma” He finally opened his eyes to see who was stroking his hair.

It was Kai, sitting by his bedside, in what looked like a hospital room.

“Hey, buddy.” He whispered. “I hope you're feeling better.”Lloyd tried to talk, but no noise came out.“Don't try to talk, Greenbean.” Lloyd already knew what had happened. “I'm sorry.”

Kai pulled Lloyd into a tight hug, letting the latter cry into his shoulder.

No noise came from Lloyd's sobs, however. There would never be any noise coming from him again.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #lloyd garmadon #kai ninjago #Ninjago fanfiction #Fanfiction #Bad things happen bingo #Badthingshappenbingo

[lloydfrontera]

i'm obsessed w thinking up aus for tged. au where suho gets transmigrated into lloyd's body not long after javier enters the household (typical transmigration in childhood plot). au where in the middle of "the knight of iron and blood" some enemy warlock summons someone he thinks will torment javier the most: og lloyd (but it turns out to be suho in his body instead bc the summoning/resurrection went wrong). daemon au where alicia actually has a lion daemon and lloyd actually has a pomeranian daemon who pestered javier's daemon nonstop back when og lloyd was there.

and i am obsessed with all of these aus omg!!!

tiny suho and baby javier oh my god!! they'd be so cute T-T tiny javier is so adorable and sad and cute, suho would immediately get attached to him. plus julian, he's already so stocked about having a little brother when he's an adult, just imagine how much he'd love 5-years-old julian. he'd be such a good hyung :').

also i am fascinated by the emotional repercussions this would have in everyone. especially on arcos and marbella. we know they already feel the emotional distance lloyd put between them when he's an adult, but imagine if he tried to do the same as a kid. the emotional slow-burn between the three of them would be soooo good.

and a suho who's gone through the same traumas but who gets thrown into a child's body with all the emotional immaturity that goes along with it would have the most delightful of breakdowns. like imagine someone with intense feelings of survivor guilt, food insecurity, trust issues and a self-sacrificing streak that rises up when it comes to the people he cares about, but he's also 10 years old. it's like the perfect mix for a great emotional breakdown <3

plus we would also get to see 10-years-old lloyd being followed by 5-years-old javier and julian like little ducklings. adorable. no notes. the mental image is already perfect. nonnie i may just have to make art for this one actually i'm so sorry i'm in love

and i am screaming about the idea of suho being isekai'd in the middle of "knight of blood and iron".

it would be an extremely bittersweet story, because by that point javier has already lost everyone he loved, he's completely alone in the world and then he gets one (1) person from his past back and it's the man who made his life impossible even then. he'd be so angry and upset and heartbroken about it, but i think he would still stick by lloyd's side because at that point, lloyd would literally be the only thing he has left from his old life. like he stuck around even before og!lloyd died, he would absolutely force himself to stay by lloyd's side when he gets brought "back" even if he thinks lloyd will make his life more difficult.

and lloyd would have such a hard time getting his trust because by that point, there's very little for him to save. there's no estate, no parents, no little brother to protect, everyone and everything is lost for them at that point, so he has no immediate way to prove himself to javier. he would still have a good chunk of the plot memorized which would obviously help, but if he's brought in the middle of the story then by that point the entire country is a mess thanks to alicia going full tyrant and there's also lupellan, so instead of avoiding those plot points, he has to face them head on with just a little advantage of knowing how they'll play out. so the only way for him to get javier's trust and eventually his friendship, which he would definitely need to stay alive in that particular world, would be to step up to dangerous situations much earlier and probably more often than he would otherwise.

it'd definitely be a different dynamic between them. most of the emotional weight would be on javier being both bitter about getting "lloyd" back and not someone else while also desperately wanting to keep him close because he's the only thing he has left of his old life. while lloyd is mostly worried about staying alive, both because of the events of the book and because he's still not sure how likely it is that javier will just straight up leave him behind one day, because technically he already fulfilled his duty of a lifetime with him once thanks to og!lloyd dying before. i think it'd be fascinating, really would love to explore this one more too.

the daemon au is the one i will probably disappoint you the most nonnie 😅 i never really understood this one and i don't think i've ever read a fic about it. would you like to explain it to me????

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #i am obsessed with these aus they're sooo good nonnie!!!! #javier asrahan

[likes-words-and-shrimp]

Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Characters: Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel, Genis Sage, Raine Sage, Zelos Wilder, Sheena Fujibayashi, Regal Bryant, Presea Combatir, Kratos Aurion, Yuan Ka-Fai, Dirk (Tales of Symphonia), Frank Brunel Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Wingfic, Eventual Romance, Mutual Pining, Self-Acceptance, Happy Ending, POV Multiple, Body Horror, Transformation Words: 36,180 Summary:

Lloyd had never been too fond of his wings. But they were still useful, and convenient when they needed to be. It only made sense to use what he had. Until his wings changed one night, and became permanent, with real feathers attached to bone. And they were heavy.

Looking back on 2023, I think one fic I'm really proud of writing is this one, a multichapter Symphonia fic I was able to complete, with a focus on Lloyd and his wings taking on a different transformation. It's seven chapters of Lloyd and Colette dealing with the painful and difficult changes, but also the rest of the party helping them on this new shift in their journey. If you decide to read it, I hope you enjoy!

Just have some more additional thoughts for this fic under the cut:

Since this year for Colloyd Week was going to be its 5th year running, and it was also Symphonia's 20th anniversary, me and @frayed-symphony wanted to do something a bit more special with the prompts this time. We decided to bring back some prompts from previous weeks while still using a new quote day and the usual free day. (Here's the prompt list with her art which everyone should see) With that in mind, I also wanted to do something a bit different for myself writing-wise, and tell a story over the course of each of the prompts!

The tidbit about mana wings eventually becoming more feathered versions is actually a bit of lore taken from the Kratos novel. Essentially, if an angel uses it for too long, the wings will become a permanent part of the body, the mana solidifying into feathers. That's why we see a lot of angels in Welgaia floating about with feathered wings, and explains why Kratos, Yuan and Mithos don't keep theirs out consistently. And the reason for the title, it's from the Lloyd's Thoughts on Angels skit because I thought it would be fun to make all those angelic issues relevant for this fic.

I really wanted to use this bit of canon lore for Lloyd, and whether it's an effect of his unique Exsphere, or anything else, his wings succumb to the same transformation. But, well, it's more than just the wings changing here.

I also wanted to play more with Lloyd's self-consciousness here and the guilt he probably still carries with him when he failed to notice Colette suffering in time. Lloyd is also the unifying force for the party where he helps inspire and lift them up from each member's own troubles, but I also wanted to see this reversed while Lloyd is going through his own baggage and past traumas. It was also more interesting to write about Lloyd going through physical changes the way Colette did in the game and have that comfort role-reversed.

A lot of this fic was a learning process! The wings in Symphonia are just a favorite aesthetic for me, and learning about how they can change was really intriguing, so much of this fic centered around the Wings prompt. I was also planning on having everyone play a part with the Soulmates prompt, which I felt was fitting for Symphonia's anniversary year. Much of the later half of the story came as it went, like with the focus on Dirk, and the very last chapter that's a few years in the future, where Lloyd has a better handle on who he is now.

Change itself is also something I just wanted to focus on overall; how we change as people, or how our loved ones change over time. And sometimes change is frightening, but it can also be exciting and learning to accept and welcome it can also feel rewarding in the end. I think I wanted to show that in this fic, though how well I succeeded kinda depends on the reading, and maybe I was heavy-handed with the wings metaphor haha.

But also, I just wanted to write a longer cute ship fic of my OTP. That's another reason. :D

Compared to most chaptered fics, this isn't very long, but I like that it's contained enough at just over 36k. I still have other Symphonia WIPs I want to finish, but I'm really proud of completing this one, and a big thank you to those who've read and commented on this fic! Symphonia has always been special to me and I'm glad I could celebrate both the game and my favorite ship this way.

Around the new year, I'll probably make a Symphonic fic recs list for stories I've read this year. If you read this far, hope you'll look forward to it!

#tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #colloyd #fanfiction #shrimpy rambles #this got a bit rambly but just wanted to finally jot some thoughts down #thank you again for people who were part of the week it def made my year

[kkangkkangie]

Lloyd Headcanons

It’s ya favorite green dragon!

He has an identity crisis every other week. At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if some otherworldly creature told him he had some snek blood in him at this point. He’s asked Minne to detail his ancestry, so he’s not blindsided everytime but uh—he falls asleep 15 minutes in. 

He inherited the fangs that the Spinjitzu Siblings all have. Although, he doesn’t have their pointy ears (due to Misako being fully human), his eyes border that of Dragon/Oni (depending on his mood). 

Kai’s actually the one who cuts his hair, especially after he went to a hairdresser & ended up trauma dumping on him. The poor hairdresser had to go to therapy after that.

He has no clothes other than his gis and like one casual wear. If anyone else asks, it’s b/c his gis are more comfortable than regular clothes. Kai cries at that fashion sense. 

He’s not bad at drawing so when he’s with Nya—he actually helps with the blueprints. Some of the newer vehicles started from Lloyd’s blueprints with minor tweaking from Nya, Minne, & Jay (due to some measurement problems).

His GoGoKart 8 character is Gawser Jr. b/c it’s literally him. He’s a menace on that character. He has this thing where if it’s not this character—he will lose. Even when the developers added the ninjas for tribute, Lloyd would never play his character. 

He’s seriously empathetic. After Morro, he tried to shut out this part & he had to go through serious mood irritabilities before he could get this under control. All the ninjas had to pose an intervention with some of Wu’s magic tea. 

#ninjago #ninjago headcanons #ninjagooc #lloyd garmadon #minne #spinjitzu siblings #oni #misako #Kai Smith #nya smith #jay walker #morro #Master Wu #rewrite/plotholeau #gogokart 8 is def not mario kart #his ancestry is complicated despite being like the second generation #lloyd has to be handicapped on gogokart #not even jay will win #morro did a series on him #especially since he knew morro wasn't all that bad

[spinjitzufam]

Lloyd Headcanons

It’s ya favorite green dragon!

He has an identity crisis every other week. At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if some otherworldly creature told him he had some snek blood in him at this point. He’s asked Minne to detail his ancestry, so he’s not blindsided everytime but uh—he falls asleep 15 minutes in. 

He inherited the fangs that the Spinjitzu Siblings all have. Although, he doesn’t have their pointy ears (due to Misako being fully human), his eyes border that of Dragon/Oni (depending on his mood). 

Kai’s actually the one who cuts his hair, especially after he went to a hairdresser & ended up trauma dumping on him. The poor hairdresser had to go to therapy after that.

He has no clothes other than his gis and like one casual wear. If anyone else asks, it’s b/c his gis are more comfortable than regular clothes. Kai cries at that fashion sense. 

He’s not bad at drawing so when he’s with Nya—he actually helps with the blueprints. Some of the newer vehicles started from Lloyd’s blueprints with minor tweaking from Nya, Minne, & Jay (due to some measurement problems).

His GoGoKart 8 character is Gawser Jr. b/c it’s literally him. He’s a menace on that character. He has this thing where if it’s not this character—he will lose. Even when the developers added the ninjas for tribute, Lloyd would never play his character. 

He’s seriously empathetic. After Morro, he tried to shut out this part & he had to go through serious mood irritabilities before he could get this under control. All the ninjas had to pose an intervention with some of Wu’s magic tea. 

#ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago headcanons #headcanon #rewrite/plothole au

[valiantly-onward]

Harumi part 2

AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT HARUMI AND LLOYD SPECIFICALLY:

In my last post I talked about how Harumi and Lloyd look very similar when it comes to their inner motivations and emotions, but they chose to respond to those things in different ways. They also have similar traumas (thought Lloyd albeit has been through much, much more). Both of them have this desperate need to be loved, to be important, and both grew up feeling trapped by their respective roles - Lloyd to the point that he made it an essential part of the way he views himself, while Harumi learned to despise it and use it for ulterior motives.

Harumi was orphaned at a young age and adopted into a family and a title she didn’t ask for, probably not long after the initial traumatic incident. Just orphaned, suddenly a princess with expectations and duties in a brand new family who maybe didn’t care very deeply for her (we don’t know this for sure, but it was implied, and it’s very possible that the royal family only adopted her because they needed to continue their line, or because they wanted to look good and like they were doing something after the whole Great Devourer situation). I’m not blaming the emperor and empress for any of Harumi’s choices, she made her own choices, but they definitely played into some of her trauma growing up in the palace. We know she felt trapped as a princess, which caused her to stay silent, to stuff her real feelings, and let them fester.

Contrast this with Lloyd, who was essentially orphaned too and adopted into a family where, without warning, he had a role thrust upon him and his childhood ripped out from beneath him - plus a lot of other things. The key difference between these stories is that Lloyd was “adopted” into a strong support system who actually loved him and he felt like he could trust them, whereas Harumi felt like she had no one. But Lloyd is really good at stuffing his real emotions too, and while he’s more free than Harumi was, there are some things he feels like he can’t share.

Cut to the moment these two finally meet, and Harumi starts manipulating him. To be that good of an actor, you have to let genuine moments shine through, otherwise the act won’t be believable. I do think Harumi shared some of her true feelings with Lloyd, and I think he recognized himself in them, which is why he was so drawn to her in the first place. And Harumi probably recognized herself in Lloyd. I would love to have been a fly on the wall when Harumi, through all her study of the Garmadon family and Oni and the Green Ninja, realized that she could get to Lloyd, because this person who had indirectly released the Great Devourer and who she hated so much was actually so much like her.

And - bear with me here, this is just a personal headcanon - when they did finally meet, I figure every interaction Harumi had with Lloyd only made her hatred for him grow - I don’t think she fully understood why until later, maybe not even until Crystalized. But Lloyd is living proof that someone can live through what Harumi went through and still come out a good person. Initially she only hated Lloyd for what he did as a kid, but as time went on I think she came to hate him for who he was, and that no matter what she kept throwing at him, he still resisted. And Harumi doesn’t strike me as the self-loathing type when we first meet her, but as she spends more time with Lloyd and especially after the whole saving-a-family situation at the end of Hunted and going evil again after that, I definitely think there’s a sense of self-loathing that she’s developed throughout her arc, and that only feeds the fire of her already-convoluted state of mind (which I desperately hope we get to see in the second half of Crystalized).

Lloyd for his part understands Harumi, because even though Lloyd doesn’t respond to his emotions the same way Harumi does, he absolutely understands what she’s going through. She tells him she wants him to feel the emptiness that she feels, but I think he already feels it. He knows what it’s like to hurt that badly, to lose your family and to need that love and to be important to someone. That’s probably part of the reason why Harumi haunts him for so long after her “death”, not just because of her betrayal and everything she put him through, but because he sees himself in her. He wasn’t able to help her or save her because she wouldn’t allow herself to be helped, and that probably scares him to death.

When it comes down to it, Sons of Garmadon isn’t about Lloyd versus Garmadon, even though there’s so much happening there and so many emotions, but really it’s Lloyd versus Harumi, and both of them versus themselves and what they see of themselves in each other - for Harumi, that it’s possible to stay good under the weight of all that trauma, and for Lloyd that it’s possible for him to break and turn evil.

And now we’re going into the second half of Crystalized, and these two are at it again.

#i just did a s8 and s9 rewatch so bear with me #please never let these two be romantically involved again #the sheer level of mental instability and issues between the two of them is a recipe for disaster #i still can't decide if I want her to have a redemption arc #princess harumi #lloyd garmadon #sons of garmadon #ninjago #ninjago crystalized

[aurumacadicus]

Fictober 12/32 -- “You’re making my head hurt.”

Me: Heehee hoho some fluff and recovery

Also Me: Where’d Steve’s trauma come from.

Lloyd likes the Beatles a lot, and it rubbed off on Phil in that he knows she knows the music. (The press kept bothering Lottie, Tony, and Clint because they insisted the other captives got more security and they are self-sacrificing idiots.) Anyway it’s over 1K so look out for the cut.

--

Lottie eventually stumbled up to the common room, Clint and Tony both using her as a crutch. She dumped them both onto the couch, then flopped forward onto the floor, exhausted.

“Shouldn’t you be in the hospital?” Steve asked, and then, scowling, added, “Hey. You should all be at the hospital.”

“I’m fine,” Tony said, at the same time Clint said, “It’s a flesh wound.”

Steve sighed and looked down at Lottie. “And what’s your excuse?”

“The press kept fucking bothering me,” Lottie moaned, covering her face. “Please just let me rest here.”

“Well,” Steve muttered, obviously grumpy that he couldn’t scold her. “Do you want a blanket?”

“I want to die here,” Lottie said. “The meds are kicking in. I’m not moving.”

Steve got up and carefully placed his arms under her knees and back, lifting her from the floor. “Come on.”

“Noooo,” Lottie whined. “You’re making my head hurt.”

Steve put her on the loveseat he’d just vacated, being as gentle with her head as possible. “Sorry. Do you want anything?” He carefully cupped the side of her head to ease it toward the back of the chair.

Lottie opened his mouth, then closed it again, eyelids fluttering. “I’m cold.” Her eyes stayed open for a moment, and he watched as they went glassy. “I want my mom,” she whispered, then sniffled and closed her eyes, turning her face so her nose was pressed into the back of the chair, hiding her tears from him.

Steve pulled his hand away from her head carefully, fingers tracing the air along the exposed side of her face, where it was bruised and swollen. ‘Punches hurt more than I thought,’ she’d said after the fight, cupping her cheek. He worked his jaw, frustrated. He wondered if this was how his ma felt, how Bucky felt, every time he walked in bruised and bloodied, muttering about how the other guy deserved it.

Lottie’s kidnappers had deserved a fight. Lottie hadn’t deserved the repercussions.

He turned to grab the blanket over the back of the couch to put over her and froze when he saw the calculating looks Tony and Clint were giving him. He gripped his hands into fists under their stares, frustrated, feeling caught-out, although he didn’t know why. Except maybe he’d been caught showing regret, and he hated it. He didn’t regret any of the decisions he’d made, and he’d do the same thing every time if he had the chance. But sometimes he regretted what could have been. What he could have had. What and who he’d had to leave behind.

“Here,” Clint said, handing the blanket over to him.

Steve took it with a nod, unable to speak around the lump in his throat as he turned and carefully draped the blanket around Lottie, tucking it around her legs so her feet wouldn’t get cold. Then he took a step back, giving her some space. Maybe he should make some soup, or something else that was easy on the jaw. Give his restless hands something to do.

She looked so small, curled up on the chair by herself. So young. She was only a few years younger than him, if they only counted his years awake. Had he looked like that after battles, exhausted and small and in pain? Steve lifted his hands to run them through his hair with a shuddering breath as he turned, walking quickly toward the kitchen. Soup. He could make soup. Soup made everything better.

His hands were shaking. Suddenly he felt like his head hurt. He gripped the counter with white knuckles and only let go when he heard a crack. Fuck. Fuck. He should have protected Lottie better. He should have—should have kept a better eye on her. She’d had her young adult life stolen from her and now she was recovering from a kidnapping, from a fight, from reporters bothering her in her fucking hospital room and the knowledge that Phil was alive but they’d thought he was dead and they hadn’t fucking told her and just kept that from her as they pretended they were her friends—

Steve nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand landed on his arm, but he froze instead, too afraid he might hurt whoever was touching him. He looked up, only just then realizing that he was breathing hard. His eyes darted back to the living room, but luckily, Lottie didn’t seem like she’d heard him. He turned his gaze back on the hand on his arm, then up to the person attached to it.

“It’s time to rest, Cap,” Tony told him gently.

Steve opened his mouth to tell him it was pretty big of him to say that when he should be resting in the hospital because of his broken ribs. Instead, though, all that came out was, “I don’t know if I can.”

“Try,” Tony answered simply.

Steve clenched his jaw, looking back down at the counter. He didn’t want to say that he didn’t know how. His ears caught a startled noise, like a cat after it had been suddenly woken from a nap, and he turned his gaze toward the living room in concern.

“—ere you go,” Phil was saying as he focused in on them, and as he watched, Lottie turned from the back of the chair, arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders. He slipped under her expertly, as if he'd been doing it all her life, and she huddled in his lap as if she was half her size. He curled his hand around the back of her head, pulling her in, and murmured something too soft for Steve to catch—or, something he felt was too personal to chase after.

He did hear something about parents, siblings on their way. If Lottie’s family was coming to support her, that was good. She should have that. He should get Phil and Lottie another blanket—the one he’d tucked around her wasn’t big enough for them both. Maybe he should make some sandwiches, or work on that soup, or—

“Steve,” Tony said, tugging on his arm.

“I need to—” Steve began, even though he didn’t know what he needed to do, not really.

He was cut off by the sound of a rumble, and it took a moment for him to realize what it was that he was hearing—purring. Lottie was purring, and as he turned to look at her again, she started purring louder and louder, until the room was filled with it, and he could see Phil’s hand vibrating with the power of it on her back.

Steve watched her for a few minutes, feeling lost, but then Tony tugged on his arm again, and he followed along after him as he limped back to the couch, allowing himself to be towed along. He sat down on the middle of the couch, and Tony fell beside him with a groan. Neither he nor Clint wasted any time sticking their cold toes under his thighs. Maybe he should have insisted on making some soup. Or fetched them socks. Or something.

Phil was humming. It was hard to hear under Lottie’s purring, but he… sort of recognized it. He’d just gotten to the seventies in his music playlist. The… Beatles? He hadn’t really enjoyed them, but he’d dutifully listened to the bigger songs. He’d liked this one, a slow one. Soft. Gentle. A lullaby, maybe.

He leaned back in his seat, watching as Lottie laid more and more of her weight against Phil’s chest, until finally her face went slack, and her hand that had been gripping his sleeve fell into her lap. She sagged against him, the roar of her purr dulling into background noise. Phil kissed the top of her head.

Steve wondered if Phil ever felt regret for the things he’d had to miss to work for SHIELD. He wondered how he put that aside to enjoy spending time with her when he could. How he could put the weight of the world elsewhere to focus on her.

Wondered if he could ask, later, without sounding like an asshole.

Steve closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch, the exhaustion he’d been feeling suddenly feeling tons heavier. Maybe he’d rest his eyes. Just for a minute.

#aurumacadicus writes #original character #marvel #fictober

[satansaidmyturnintheh3llscape]

Everything Right/Wrong with Ninjago “Legacy of the Green Ninja” E1: Darkness Shall Rise

The ninja really can’t parent for sh*t can they?😭 Disclaimers: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s mainly intended for comedy!

- Intro ✅

- The ninja have their golden weapons throughout the intro in every episode of this season, despite the fact that they no longer exist after this episode ❌

- Lloyd’s title card is adorable ✅

- We’re still not updating Nya’s title card? Come on, there’s like a thousand cool ways you could go with it! ❌

- “Our tanks out of commission…” Your tank? As in the Ultra Sonic Raider? I wouldn’t call that thing a tank, plus you only even had it for, like, 5 minutes ❌

- “… we don’t even have a place to sleep!” This line implies that they’ve only been repairing Ninjago City for a day, but there’s no way they’ve managed to do this much in that short a time span ❌

- “I’ve always wanted to feel like part of a community!” Considering that Jay grew up an only child living in the middle of nowhere, it actually makes a lot of sense that he’d have this sentiment ✅

- If the ninja are here and Wu and Nya are leaving AND they don’t have a place to live, then where is Lloyd right now? Did they really leave an 8 yr-old alone in the middle of a densely populated city? ❌

- “It’s a days trip.” This entire episode takes place in 1 DAY?! How does that even work?!?❌

- “Because I was the one in the first place who told you not to awaken the Devourer!” No, no you didn’t. ❌

- “I’ve always been partial to snakes…” You just turned one into goo, like, a few hours ago ❌

- Garmadon’s plan is to avoid killing Lloyd by instead killing his family, leaving him orphaned and having to deal with intense amounts of trauma as if that’s somehow better??? ❌

- You know it’s a lost cause if even your realtor can’t lie enough to make a house seem livable

- “There’s also a dragon keep on the roof.” If these are the only 4 dragons in Ninjago, why would they make a dragon keep? ❌

- “Maybe we can get a hero discount.” It’s called a “hero suite,” meaning it’s probably meant for heroes, so why would you get a discount for simply meeting a requirement? ❌

- “We always said we could use a little more responsibility.” Does a kid just not fit that quota or…? ❌

- I can only imagine what went through Kai’s head that made him think, “yeah, I could work at children’s parties. This won’t end badly at all.” ❌

- Why has no one made a gif of the clip of Lloyd hitting the punching bag and then getting hit right back and knocked off his a*s?

- “Is this jar getting bigger?” It must be, because the last time we saw it the coins already reached up to the goal line ❌

- “Release the Devourer!” “No you idiot!”✅

- Is Cole the only security guard this bank has? Shouldn’t they be hiring more people? Especially since he’s like 17? ❌

- “That’s okay - I hated that job anyway.” Yeah, you all hated your jobs, Cole, but you weren’t doing them because you liked them, you were doing them because you needed money ❌

- “I think I may have picked the wrong track,” How? You followed the train moments after it left! Did Jay’s bio parents drop him when they left him in the junkyard?!?! ❌

- Is the show trying to imply that someone’s hand managed to make a hole large enough to drag Kai, a full-sized person, through? ❌

- “You are such a gentleman!” ✅

- “Venom can’t hurt me.” Since when?!?!? ❌

- I would sin the generals for telling the ninja their plan, but I actually don’t have the grounds for it because the ninja had nothing to do with saving Lloyd, so instead I’m gonna sin everyone on this train for the blatant incompetence they all have… just in general ❌

- “Door is locked.” “I know! I want it open!” Siri ✅

- Skales cuts a hole in the window with the not-at-all-sharp part of his staff??? ❌

- “… he’ll have no choice but to let me lead the Serpentine! Hya!” Hya? ❌

- “What’s going on in there?” Excruciatingly blatant plot convenience ❌

- “Who needs weapons when you can make your own!” Making your own weapons would still make them weapons, though ❌

- Also, property damage ❌

- It is ridiculous how weak the serpentine have become over time ❌

- “I think I found Jay!” Line delivery ✅

- Instead of just jumping to one of the very open sides that he would be safe on, Jay attempts to outrun a godd*mn train ❌

- “Losing Lloyd is by far our greatest loss.” I wish the earlier seasons did a better job of showcasing the ninja’s relationship with Lloyd. Like, most lines like this imply that the only reasons they’re sad is because Lloyd is valuable to them as the green ninja, not as they’re little brother. ❌

- “I go away for a day and everything falls apart!” I love her ✅

- “I’ve got a better idea…” K but don’t you still have to clean up the apartment? Are you just gonna leave it like that or…? ❌

- “Lights out!” Actually it looks like the lights are already out. What you turned out were the cameras ❌

- If the golden weapons were used to create all the land in Ninjago, then how were they birthed at the Golden Peaks, which is land in Ninjago?❌

- “I fear there is a great disturbance in the force…” WHAT. WHAT WAS THIS LINE??? WHERE DID THIS COME FROM? WHY WAS IT HERE?? WHA- ❌

- Hey, what happened to the money the serpentine stole? They took huge bags, none of which I saw on the train. Did the ninja ever return those? Are we just gonna ignore it? ❌

Sentence: The ninja are still awful parents, but maybe the real awful parents were the sperm donors we met along the way… wait-

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago jay #ninjago kai #ninjago nya #ninjago cole #ninjago zane #ninjago sins/wins #ninjago wu #kid lloyd

[breathlessmorro]

The problem with the Sad Boi™ Archetype in fan fiction.

Take all of this with a grain of salt, I'm just ranting here and my only credentials are the science, psychology and sociology classes I have under my belt. Trigger warning for dark or disturbing content.

Essentially the idea of the Sad Boi™ trope is taking a character who has canonical trauma and amplifying it in fan works. While this alone isn't exactly a bad thing as it can focus on the potential trauma and help identify what could be done for the character to recover in a healthy way, many people take it to the extreme and instead decide to baby or romanticize the trauma of the character.

For example : Lloyd.

There's no denying that Lloyd absolutely has his fair share of trauma and PTSD. Whether it's from his father, his mother, Harumi, whoever, I'm of the opinion that it's safe to say he's got some shit going on. When he sees his mother again for the first time in years, his reaction is to be angry at her for leaving him and then running away. Ultimately he forgave her in that same episode after hearing her out and very quickly becomes close with her.

Then there's the trauma of his father - who he had to grow up without because of the venom running through his veins. Lloyd in his father's absence sought to be just like him on what can be assumed to be an effort to get his attention and love. Of course this later changes when Lloyd joins the ninja and is discovered to be the one destined to fight his father, which also changes their dynamic dramatically, as well as his trauma.

Lloyd expressed many times how he didn't want to fight his father and would try at any costs to get him back, freezing during their first confrontation when he could have taken him out, trying to get through to him while he was possessed, etc. He couldn't ignore that what his father was doing was wrong, but he still felt conflicted about him. Of course he was able to save his father, until he lost him again, got him back, lost him yet again, got him back once more but now he was evil again and then, finally, Garmadon disappears once more, still very evil. Daddy issues central up in here, but it's not discussed in the show.

Then there's the topic of Morro and Harumi, two major villains who directly had an impact on Lloyd. Morro completely stripped him of his autonomy, forced him to fight his friends, used him as blackmail, manipulated him with his father, and of course, y'know, tried to curse NinjaGo. Of course the show doesn't dive into the aspects of how that can royally mess up a person, but it's implied in later seasons that it still has an impact on the team. One can only imagine the pain he went through and how he coped with it, but when told to trust Morro by Master Wu, he puts his weapon away and listens to him. He doesn't point fingers and get angry, he calms down.

Now, lets talk about Harumi. Lloyd's first love and kind of sister... Yeah, best not to think about that part, the writers were clearly on drugs. Anyways, it was clear that Lloyd deeply cared about and trusted her, only fer her to take advantage of him and hurt him in the worst ways possible. Yet even after all of that, he still wanted to see the good in her, and still thinks of her often. You can even argue the whole relationship gave him PTSD as he later on doesn't trust Vania because of her relationship with Cole, but he quickly gets over that. Then she's used against him once more by Unagami, where he truly believes she can change and come back to him, but ultimately knows it's impossible as she isn't the real Harumi.

What can we tell from all of this? That Lloyd isn't an idiot - he knows when someone has done something wrong and will react to it accordingly, but he's ultimately a very loving and trusting person who can see past the flaws in someone and find something good. Despite this, I see too many depictions of him being babied for his trauma and treated as though his possible depression is severe and life threatening. I myself may be guilty of analyzing his trauma and exploring the more dark sides of it, but I refuse to be guilty of amplifying it to such a degree that he needs someone to "take care of" him or protect him. As a character, Lloyd is very mature and handles his problems well, if only when they're brought up that is. In fanon, he's a depressed angsty teenager who hides in his room all the time lamenting over everything that's ever hurt him. Not to say that's not a realistic response because it is, but it's very out of character for him, and yet seems to be accepted as fanon.

In short, instead of highlighting the potential of his PTSD, many fans exaggerate it to the point where someone needs to "take care" of this character, and it seems to be targeting mostly the male characters. Often times when I see this trope in action, I also see the female characters being highlighted as monster who either helped to cause the trauma, or actively make it worse. It really upsets me to see the misogyny of fandoms being weaponized in a way that can really negatively showcase depression and even romanticize it.

At the end of the day, this is fan fiction and I don't really care about it enough to go on a rampage because I do have a life outside of the internet, but just a thought.

#long post #breathless speaks #lloyd garmadon #ninjago lloyd #tw #mentions of #ptsd #depression

[tales-of-sweets]

Thinking about the potential aftermath and long-lasting psychological effects of the trauma Lloyd recieved during the game.

Honestly, I'm not really a huge fan of the overly optimistic protagonist who never struggles. And there's definitely protags out there like that. But what I liked about Lloyd is that, to me, he didn't come accross as that type and I think it's fun that there's many ways to interpret gum based on your personal perception and experiences!

So, for starters, he lived in a small town where he never had to deal with being deceived, where the line between who was good and who was evil was clear, and the world seemed simple, black and white.

The Desians are the bad guys, everyone else are the good guys. Example:

Of course, when he steps foot outside of the village that clear cut image is shattered and his whole world is thrown into complete turmoil. For the majority of the game he doesn't have a clue what is going on half of the time because his simple world just became complex and confusing and hes a mere human opposing beings much older . And every single person he meets (even his lifelong best friends and, his adoptive father, and his own biological father) deceives or betrays him or his friends in some way throughout the game. Genis who almost sides with Mithos on more than one occasion, Zelos... who is Zelos, Kratos who deceived and betrayed his own son in numerous ways, Dirk who lied about what really happened to his mother, and Mithos... who is Mithos are some notable examples, out of many.

Not to mention all the blood on his hands and all the people he couldn't save and all the misteps misplaced trust that lead to destruction and death. An early notable example I'd the death of Marble and the destruction of a town, all caused by an attempt to do a good deed. A later example is the giant Khalarlan Tree destroys Palmacosta (and almost the entirety of Sylverant) because they followed Yuan's plans.

Add to this the constant onslaught of confusing or downright horrifying information and revelations, such as Exspheres being made out of people, his mother being murdered, Colette having to die to complete her journey, her being used as a vessel, the existence of another world, the extent of persecution and descrimination, and so on.

And yet every tragedy, every betrayal, every loss, he walks away from it all with determination, positivity, and continued trust, because what else can you really do when the world is falling apart and you're up against things much bigger than what a human was meant to endure or comprehend?

Like... how is he just gonna be okay and normal about that with no lasting psychological damage when it's all said and done? When the need to be positive, determined, and trusting is no longer vital to his survival and leadership, will the reality of what he just went through finally come crashing down?

I think this is why it's becoming one of my favorite topics to write about. He's only 17 and yet was forced to endure multiple mindbreajing catastrophes and revelations in such a short period of time. Trauma seems inevitable but healing is very possible and so fun to write about.

#i posted something like this before but I got a rude comment so i deleted it lol #but anyway yeah #lloyd irving #tales of symphonia #tales of symphonia spoilers

[fires-of-ninjago]

The Ninja and Their Traumas

Kai:

Kai has abandonment issues. They mostly stem from when his parents disappeared, but they’ve also been compounded over the years; first by Zane’s death, then by how easily the whole team seemed to drift apart after.

He’s also got some pretty damming body-image issues. Like, he always made sure that Nya had enough to eat growing up, often to his own detriment. So he’s gotten good at making it look like he’s getting enough food himself, despite spending years consuming >~10 meals per week.

Kai’s also extremely insecure about how he’s perceived. He’s spent so much of his life keeping up appearances for the sake of keeping him and Nya safe, that the very idea of anyone thinking he can’t handle something sends him spiraling into a panic attack.

Because of how isolated he was growing up, he craves physical touch, but he also hates the very idea of needing anything, so he never acts on his needs...at least, not consciously.

Nya: 

Like Kai, she’s very anxious about resources such as food, but she’s not as bad as him.

Nya hates the idea of having to depend on someone else, mostly because of how much suffering she watched Kai put himself through just to make sure that she would have enough.

The one thing that she does do is take the time to give Kai a hug and close physical contact whenever she can. She knows that he needs actual contact, and hates that he never voices his needs.It hurts even more that she knows that she can’t actually call him out on this, because he will absolutely shut down if she does.

She also can’t talk to Zane about his father without having an anxiety attack! Her and Jay had talked about telling him about Echo, but the way he practically worships his father, and with the number of personal traumas Zane’s gone through since have them constantly putting it off...

Cole:

The boy has performance anxiety. I mean, yeah; his parents loved him, but they pushed him a little too hard to become a performer, so now whenever he’s put on the spot where he has to play a part, he freezes up.

He loves to dance, but doing that in front of others sends him into a spiral of self doubt and angst!

Ever since he was turned into a ghost, he’s become increasingly scared of water. I mean, it was lethal before, but now that it’s safe, he’s even more afraid of what will happen the next time he dies!

His mother loved to cook before she got sick, though his father was a terrible cook. The one thing he remembers the most was her cakes, so whenever he sees one, he can’t help but think of Lily.

The boy is TOUCH STARVED! He spent waaaay too long as a ghost, and thus, not able to touch anyone. Now that he’s human again, he can’t help but touch the others subconsciously.

Jay:

Out of all of the ninja, he was probably the most well-adjusted at the beginning.

But falling in love, constantly being the damsel in distress, discovering he was adopted and nearly loosing the Nya to poison have left him with some pretty stubborn PTSD.

Like, he still won’t even say the word “wish” and visibly flinches whenever anyone says it.

He’s argued with Nya multiple times about telling Zane about Echo, but every time they get ready to talk to him, something comes up and takes precedent.

Zane:

He has a love/hate relationship with his late-father. It’s like, he gets why he did all of those things to him with his memory switch, but he still can’t help but feel a little hurt and abandoned.

He considers the ninja and Bounty his family and home, mainly because that was were he really became who he is today. So any threat to them makes sets him on edge.

Zane is absolutely terrified of losing his identity, especially with how easily he was easily he was manipulated in season 11.

Lloyd:

OH BOI! Does he have abandonment issues!

I mean, he went through so much abuse at Darkley’s, but then he got bullied by the Ninja right after he left!

Then he was outed as the “Chosen One™” and forced to fight his dad!

Then he sacrificed his childhood and aged himself up just to save his adopted family!

It’s obvious who he turned to and decided to take after the most when it comes to all of the ninja and how he deals with his trauma (*cough*Kai*cough*) but he still knows that he has them when he needs them!

#Ninjago #Ninjago Kai #Ninjago Nya #Ninjago Cole #Ninjago Jay #Ninjago Zane #Ninjago Lloyd #Kai Smith #Nya Smith #Cole Brookstone #Jay Walker #Zane Julian #Lloyd Garmadon