After Harry’s better homes and gardens interview, I’ve taken some time to think about some of the things said and the reactions to it.
1) This discourse that’s become quite popular lately about queer people needing to be out, and how liberating it is to be out, is such a cishet and/or privileged narrative. I get so mad whenever people mention it.
First I think the background on why there is so much focus on coming out is a cishet thing. Coming out has become such a glorified thing. And I think the main reason for this is, it’s the part where cishets get to be apart of the experience. Now they have the knowledge of who or what another person identifies as and therefore gets to feel like they have the right to insert themselves in other peoples feelings.
Sexuality and identity is so personal. Being out in - let’s be realistic here - most cultures and countries, will mean you get in the best case scenario looked down upon and rejected from friends and family, and worst case you get abused, tortured and even killed. And before any person comes for me, yes I know there are people who get accepted by friends and family, most do not. And when we take a look into the celebrity world and the statements that have been made from and about queer people, we know that his industry has a reputation of looking down upon and excluding openly queer people.
Personally I’m actually kind of a fan of Harry not sharing his sexuality openly with the world. He does not owe anyone coming out especially after what he has been through such scrutiny from the public. Everything from his sex life to his fav colour has been discussed publicly. And even if he hadn’t had all of this public scrutiny he does not owe anyone a coming out, just consider how most of the world perceives queer people. Him getting to keep this part of himself to himself and the people closest to him is quite meaningful.
2) Harry’s self awareness
This has so many layers, but in all I think we can all learn a lot from Harry.
He shows how much he takes stock of where he is and how he can better himself. This, to me, has some roots from how reflective he is over every little thing he does. And you can see the fruits of his reflections, from his public performances and how he used to lose his breath when singing his solo in wmyb, to nailing it in front of a 100 000 people at Coachella. Or from how he sees he made his worst music when he’s trying to get a single to figuring out how he’s really good at bringing people together and create together with others.
He’s teaching us to learn from the past, live in the moment and plan for the future. This is where we can all learn so much from Harry.
3) Harry and Louis deciding to be good and stay humble on the x factor.
This part is not talked about enough. How from such a young age he decided part of his identity is to stay nice and humble towards everyone he comes across. Because he saw/heard how unfairly celebrities treated other people, and not wanting to be part of that. The biggest part I took away is how once again Harry is described as nothing but nice and an overall good human being.
4) The music industry
This part kills me. I know we’ve talked about this for ages, but hearing him actually confirm the cleanliness clause, and compare his own situation to the Britney documentary. How he and all the boys were dolls puppets, who had little control over where they could sit, talk or even how they could express themselves without repercussions.
5) Still just as domestic
This part in the article: “So he used lockdown to commit to being a better friend, son, brother. He pushed himself to confront things he hadn't brought up, had many long, honest chats. And like most people who found themselves suddenly very, very inside, he thought a lot about the idea of home—about belonging, peace, sanctuary. "I realized that that home feeling isn't something that you get from a house; it's more of an internal thing. You realize that when you stop for a minute," he said.”
Of course he had to bring up feeling home. And how throughout his discography he’s described his love as the feeling of home. Yes Harry we know you’re in love, you domestic little shit *affectionate*.
6) My takeaways
It was so nice to read a quite honest piece about Harry after such a long time. Something that feels real, and not so staged.
Harry having chosen better homes and gardens for this interview also seems very deliberate, in how he not only gets his message out to a bigger audience. Also it doesn’t seem like this magazine has any real connections to the music industry, so to me this feels a lot more free in the way Harry is able to express himself, without being subjected to questions related to eg. stunts.
I will say this to me it feels like Harry is sharing so much of himself, and given how he discussed how much he likes his privacy, this feels quite intimate, at least in a psychological way. I’m not sure how I feel about this, as I’ve seen way to many fans feel entitled to know everything there is to know about Harry.
I love how it takes us through the journey on how Harry came to make this album and some of his feeling behind the album.
As I said we can all learn something from Harry, if it is to reflect over your situation and do something about it, instead of blaming everything around you, take responsibility for the things you can do. Or to be more kind and loving to the people we surround overselves with. Or to appreciate the domestic feelings.
P.S. Gina, I love your fic recs and how reflective and intelligent you are. I would love to hear your thoughts on this, but please don’t feel pressured to answering me/posting this. Sending you lots of love!
Hi darling. Thank you so much for this. I wish I had thoughts that improved upon or added to it, but I just completely agree with you. It’s the best interview with him I think I’ve ever read.
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So I’ve been thinking (a lot) about the cycle break reading of ORV as a re-read, and I noticed some things?
I think the whole regressor, returner, reincarnation thing is also an allegory for how people deal w/ trauma. I mean, they are the ‘three ways to survive’, after all
also- I think past, present, and future might fit that too? Past for the way people fell back on history to cope with the apocalypse, present for nirvana (? I’ll find something better later) and future for… idk, Anna Croft?
Haven’t thought about it much, but still…
i KNEW i'd forgotten to mention smth in the list i'd made but no literally you get it, we get it i am shaking your hand.
it's 9am and i Haven't Slept (oops! teehee) so i don't have the brain capacity to go into detail about the How and Why of it all, but i wanted to answer to tell you that you hit the mark for regressor/returner/reincarnator
although i WILL say that past/present/future and how trauma affect our perception and reaction to these things is something very present with Every character in the series. tbf/tbc theres definitely more emphasis on future for anna croft, but she does still have all three
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So, I started reading your ua is a hell school tag and one of my first thoughts was "this is why I'm forever conflicted about Erased Potential" the thing is, like plenty of Dadzawa fics, at times this feels like All Might bashing but on the other hand this is the first and so far only BNHA fic I've found where adults actually *act* like adults in regards to the school management. If anyone else knows of other fics that scratch that itch I'd be happy to read them too but as it is I'm just stuck praying the author isn't unnecessarily mean to my wilted sunflower man :(
I know a few but I'm about to pass out, so I'm answering the ask now to see if any of my followers have their own recs and can say more that I can't think of rn
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