➜ GARDENS OF BABYLON
summary: clarisse la rue x daughter of apollo reader. reader hates clarisse until she doesn't hehe. reader is a little bit of a bitch sorry!! just a bit tho! ooc clarisse maybe? and no smut ofc :) just sweet girls in love mwah
warning: reader dates a man but there's not a lot of details about that, bad writing sorry:/
word count: 5k (im so sorry i got carried away)
Help Palestine 🇵🇸!
It could be love, we could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it
You weren't sure about many things in your life, but one think that you were pretty sure about, was the that you and Clarisse had nothing in common.
She was rude and mean. She didn't hesitate when it came to hurting people. She was cold. She was exactly what you expect an Ares child to be like. So you tried to keep your distance as much as possible.
It was hard, though. The first time you went to camp, you were twelve, extremely scared and insecure, and she did not help your case, at all. You still remembered, how rude she was to you on your first week, how upset she made you and how she made fun of you for crying afterwards. You still remembered watching as the smile appeared on her face the second she saw the tears in your eyes. You could never forget that look. And you could definitely never forgive her, either.
After that, you had very small interactions, you got claimed after two months, which was good enough for you. You made friends, you grew up and gained confidence in yourself and in your abilities. And that whole incident with Clarisse just became a distant memory. But she was still always around. And you were always trying to pretend like she wasn't.
But your whole opinion on her was about to change, and it all started one night, at the bonfire.
At the time you were dating a guy, Jacob, and you liked Jason, you really did, he was nice – most of the time, he was funny– sometimes, he liked to spend time with you, and you never heard anything bad about him. And you were having fun, he was entertaining you, which sounded wrong, and although, you could never admit it out loud, that's all that he was. Entertainment. So the moment he expressed his wish for more, for something a bit more serious, you called it off.
Reality was, you didn't want a relationship, you didn't need one. Your life was crazy as it is, you didn't need one more thing to be preoccupied about, you just wanted to have fun, that's all you needed at the moment. But he did not take that well. That guy you knew disappeared the moment you told him you wanted to stop seeing him.
And yes, maybe it was kind of bad that you decided to end things at the bonfire, with people around – people that could easily listen to your conversation and spread the gossip later. And sure, maybe you were a bit cold towards him, but he did not need to make a scene, a huge scandal. And that was exactly what he did.
You still remember the dirty looks people gave you afterwards, all the whispers, all the rumors surrounding you two. And it made you crazy, people knew nothing about the situation, but they still talked like they did.
And that's when Clarisse came in. You didn't know she was there that night, you didn't know she saw the whole thing.
You were practicing your favorite activity, archery. It made you feel calm, in the moment, and that's exactly what you needed. That was, until you heard a very familiar voice, speaking close to you, way too close.
"Hi pretty"
You could swear your heart stopped for a moment, you turned around fast, the bow and arrow in your hands quickly forgotten.
The moment you met her eyes, your stomach flipped, a weird and unusual feeling making its way to your chest. Her eyes were locked on yours, her body was close enough that you could feel her breath in your face, you could see the gold in her eyes due to the sun light. And it all just added to that uneasy feeling.
And you were still trying to process the fact that she called you pretty.
"Hello." your voice sounded weak, it made you curse yourself.
"Do you have a minute? Promise it'll be quick." Clarisse tilted her head a little, a small smile on her face.
You looked around, trying to understand what was going on. She had no good reason to talk to you, you weren't her friend, or anything, for that matter. Maybe it was one of those times when she just wanted to bully someone and you were the chosen one. That thought made you back away from her.
"No, I don't."
You turned around, putting your bow and arrow on their place and ready to go back to your cabin, far away from her.
"Oh come on, princess, why not?" You could still hear her as you walked away, hoping she would get the hint. "Aren't you a little curious to know what I wanna talk about?"
You felt her hand on your wrist, making you turn around, face to face with her again. "It's about your little boy Jacob, you know? The one who humiliated you in front of everyone?"
She still had that stupid smile on her face, making you roll your eyes. "And what does whatever you want have to do with me? We are not together anymore, and I don't want anything to do with you. Or him!" you were about to leave when you heard her again.
"I want revenge. Are you sure you're not interested?" you turned around slowly, studying her face. "That little shithead hurt one of my sisters, and I haven't put anyone in their place in a while."
That last part made your heart skip a beat, you knew exactly what she meant, you were one of those people once. But different to Jason, you were just a kid, you didn't deserve what she did to you.
"No, I'm not. Have fun terrorizing him though, you always do anyway."
For the third time, you walked away from her, and much for your disappointment, she let you go.
•┈୨♡୧┈•
"Did you do anything stupid lately?"
You lifted your eyes from your food and looked at your friend in front of you, laughing a little at her question. "What?"
"Like, I don't know, did you do something that I need to know about?" the confusion in your eyes made her look behind you, making you turn your head to look as well. Clarisse was staring at you, a weird expression on her face. "She won't stop staring, please tell me you didn't do something against her, that girl could easily kill–"
"Oh gods, I didn't do anything!" You couldn't help but laugh again, turning back to Anya. "She's just probably upset I turned down an offer she made a few days ago."
"What offer? Why don't I ever know about anything?!"
"It's nothing important really, she wants to do something to Jacob, I don't know what, I just know he hurt her sister and I think she wanted my help to 'put him in his place'? Her words not mine."
"Wow, that's weird. And you just simply said no? Just like that?"
"I mean yeah, I don't want him to hate me even more than he already does."
"Makes sense."
You two went back to being silent for a second, before Anya spoke again. "You know, maybe she wanted to get close to you, or something, I don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, why would she ask your help on something she could easily do it on her own? I mean, it's a bit weird, right? Maybe she wanted to get to know you."
"I doubt that."
You tried not to think much about it, and pretend that you didn't like the idea of Clarisse wanting to be close to you. But as you closed your eyes that night, ready to go to sleep, the only thing you could think about was pretty brown eyes, with a little bit of gold in them.
•┈୨♡୧┈•
Two days later, as you were walking to practice you saw Jacob, he didn't see you, he was talking to his friend, something you couldn't really hear, but what really caught your attention, was when he lifted up his shirt, his stomach was dark purple, bruises all over it. And you didn't have to think twice to figure out who did that.
And you didn't know why, you just needed to see her, you needed to ask her so many questions, so that's exactly what you did.
You knocked on her cabin door, that heavy and weird feeling on your chest again, waiting for someone to answer. One of her brothers opened the door, looking you up and down. "Can I help you?"
"Yes, is Clarisse here?"
He nodded, but not to say that she was in fact there, he nodded like he knew exactly what you meant.
"Yeah, sure." he left the door open and started to leave the cabin, not before saying with a weird laugh: "Have fun!"
You looked at him confused, having no idea why would he even say that to you, but you decided to not think much about and just go in.
She was sitting on her bed, palm resting on one of her thighs, black nail polish in her other hand. She was painting her nails, and for some reason, that surprise you.
Sure, you've seen her wearing nail polish before, but the look on her face was a rare one, she looked so concentrated, almost peaceful, and you couldn't help but think she looked pretty like that, her curls framing her face.
"Who was it?" she didn't look up from her nails when she said that, probably thinking you were her brother.
"It was me."
You could see the smile on her face before she look up, her eyes shining when she saw you. "Hi pretty."
Ignore the nickname. Ignore the nickname.
"What did you do to him?"
"Sorry?" she got up, walking towards you now, her eyes were dark, the peaceful Clarisse you just saw disappearing.
"I saw his bruises, that was you, wasn't it?"
You didn't know why you were so mad at her, you didn't even like him, you couldn't care less about him if you were being honest, but the need to confront her about it seemed to be more strong than being reasonable.
She tilted her head, a smirk on her face.
"What if it was? Do you have a problem with that?"
"Yes, I do, actually, you shouldn't go around just beating people up."
"Oh really? Why not? He hurt someone I care about, he deserved it."
She didn't sound mad at you, she sounded amused, like she liked the fact that you were talking back.
In reality, she just liked that you were there, in her cabin, so close to her, your eyes locked on hers like you were scared that if you looked anywhere else, she might disappear. But you didn't need to know that.
"Like you care about anyone who isn't yourself, you did that just for fun. Because that's what you do!"
"And why are you so mad about that anyway, hm? You said you didn't wanna have anything to do with it, remember?" she took one more step closer to you, your faces inches apart, you felt her hand on your arm. "Do you still like him or something? Because if I remember correctly, you broke his heart, right? So why do you care so much?"
You didn't know what to say, she was right. And that pissed you off even more.
"I just- I–" You could see her smile growing at your loss of words, her hand on your arm making you even more nervous. "Fuck you, Clarisse."
The feeling in your chest got too strong, you realized how close she was to you, her pretty smile on her face. However her eyes were not on yours anymore, she was looking at your lips, breathing heavy.
Then her eyes met yours again. "Why are you here, y/n?"
"You know why." you stepped back a little, but before you could say anything else you felt her lips on yours.
And you didn't think twice before kissing her back. Her lips were soft, her hands were on your face, and yours made their way to her hips. She smiled during the kiss, making your head spin even more.
"No, wait– that's not what I came for!" you finally came to your senses again, breathing even heavier now. "I don't even like you! I could never like you! You're so... you're awful, you're an awful person!"
Before she could say something, you stormed out of her cabin. And she just stood there, not believing what had just happened.
•┈୨♡୧┈•
A few days since that afternoon had passed and you still couldn't believe that happened. She just kissed you, out of the blue, for no reason at all.
You could still feel her soft lips on yours, her hands on your face, and your heart beating fast against your chest.
But the worst part of it all, is that you liked it, and you couldn't deny it anymore. You couldn't deny your stupid crush on Clarisse. You couldn't deny that's the reason why you got so upset when she mistreated you years ago, that was the reason why you couldn't think straight when it came to her.
Yes she was mean, and a bully – most of the time, she was stubborn and impulsive, but unfortunately for you – and your stupid dumb heart, that didn't make much of a difference. You tried to convince yourself that you hated her for so many years, and yet here you are.
When reality sinked in, you felt panic, because she was the last person you wanted to have feelings for, she was the last person you'd give a chance. So you decided that you were going to repress those feelings, it didn't matter if it hurt you, you would never open your heart to her. You just couldn't.
But apparently the universe had other plans, because while you were at the beach, enjoying the sun, lost in thought, she saw you. Lucky for her, bad luck for you.
You heard her say your name, and before you could run away from her, she sat down beside you, making it impossible for you to look away.
"Where have you been? You just disappeared! Are you avoiding me or something?"
Her voice was soft, you never heard her speaking like this, almost like she was afraid you'd run away if she wasn't careful with her words.
Your stomach felt weird, your heart was beating fast again, and your hands were shaking. All because she noticed. She noticed that you were avoiding her. And for some weird reason, that made you feel special.
"Yeah, well, how did you find me?"
"I threatened one of your friends to tell me where you were." she said that like it was the most obvious think in the world, like you were dumb to even be asking her that question. "I just– I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
You looked up from the sand, surprise evident in your face, did she just apologize to you?
"You're sorry?"
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'm really bad at this, I just wanted to say that, I'm sorry if I offended you by kissing you, I should've asked first, I just– I felt– I mean, I thought I felt something there but it was just all in my head and I didn't mean to–
You lost your mind, you were sure of it, because now, you were the one kissing her.
One of your hands went to the back of her neck, making her relax under your touch. Her lips moved with yours in the perfect rhythm, like it was meant to be, like you were made to do this, with her.
Her hands were on your back, bringing you closer and closer to her, as if that was possible, and you only stopped kissing when you felt the need for air. Her forehead touched yours, both of you breathing heavy.
"I thought you– I'm... confused." She leaned away a little, still holding you.
In that moment, you didn't know what to say, cause you were as confused as she was. You didn't know why you kissed her, you promised yourself you would stay away, and yet your lips were on hers the moment she got close to you.
"You said you didn't like me." her voice was still soft, but now, a little more serious, her eyes studying your face. "You said you could never like me, did I understand that wrong or what?"
You shook your head, you felt suffocated now that she was so close, asking you questions, making you rethink your terrible decisions and complicated feelings.
"You didn't understand that wrong, that's– yeah, I said that."
Your hand wasn't on her face anymore, and you were getting up. Why did she have to make you feel like this?
"Hey, you're not running away this time! Talk to me." She got up too, getting close to you again.
Her eyes felt like they were burning holes in your skin, making you avoid them. And before you could speak for yourself, try and explain, your anxiety spoke for you.
"What do you want from me, Clarisse? It was just a kiss, does a kiss have to mean anything? I wanted to kiss you, so I did, big fucking deal!"
When you got the courage to look at her again, you couldn't see the soft Clarisse anymore. She nodded her head, looking away from you, letting out a sarcastic laugh.
"You wanted to kiss me, so you did, hm?"
Her voice was cold and her eyes even colder. You nodded your head, if that would help you stay away from her, then you were going to run with it.
She didn't say anything back, she just turned around and left you alone. Not knowing that if she stayed just one more second, she would see the tears streaming down your face.
•┈୨♡୧┈•
You felt horrible, actually, if there was a stronger word for what you were feeling you'd use it, but no amount of words could really describe how you felt.
The guilt was eating you, and you couldn't stop crying, you didn't even know why you were crying in the first place; maybe it was because you realized that you actually had feelings for Clarisse, maybe it was because you were mean to her just because you were scared, or maybe you were just overwhelmed. Either way, the tears wouldn't stop scrolling.
And you did the only thing you knew would help you, you talked to your friend.
"Wait, walk me through it again... you have feelings for who?"
"Please don't make me repeat it!" your hands went to your face, too embarrassed to even think about it.
Anya let out a laugh before she grabbed your wrists, making you look at her again.
"I'm sorry! I just thought you hated her?"
"I guess the hate was just a cover up, I actually do like her a lot. Unfortunately."
"You don't think she likes you back?"
You thought about it for a moment.
You were sure she did, you were sure she liked you back, and was what made it all so scary to you. The fact that you both liked each other, the fact that she could easily hurt you, just like she did years ago, just with a few words. The fact that you could hurt her, just like you did, earlier that day.
With Jacob, it was easy, he liked you, you didn't like him. The moment you got bored and he wanted more, you ended it, and you felt bad, but you also felt safe. You were safe that way, he couldn't hurt your feelings even he tried. That was easy.
With Clarisse,wouldn't be that way, she would know exactly what to do to make you feel pain. If you let her in, she would know just what buttons to push, and that scared you more than anything.
"I just think... I just think it would hurt too much."
Anya gave you a sympathetic look, a small smile on her face. "But if you really like her, don't you think is worth it? Don't you think she's worth it?"
Once again you went to sleep thinking about her. Your mind asking you again and again, is she worth it?
•┈୨♡୧┈•
You felt low in your life a few times.
First, was when your fish died, you were only six and as weird as it sounds, it was your best friend at the time. Second time, was when your grandmother died, when you were eight, she was basically your second mom, and seeing her sick and unable to do anything about it killed you to the core. And the third time was when you found out you had to live your life behind and go to camp, when you found out that you actually had a dad, an unusual one, but you did, and you had to get used to your new life.
And now, it was definitely one of those low points.
You could feel your heart break the moment you saw them together, Clarisse and some girl that you didn't know the name. They were sitting together on the steps of the Ares cabin, Clarisse was touching the other girl's leg, whispering in her ear and making her laugh. You felt sick.
You stopped walking, unable to breathe or to move, staring at them like your life depended on it.
"Oh gods." You could hear Anya say on your right. "Maybe we should go the other way."
Before they could see you, you started walking again, feeling anger and disgust after seeing that. But then it hit you.
You told her the kiss didn't mean anything. You said you didn't like her. You told her you could never like her. You made her believe you didn't feel anything. You had no right to be angry, you had no right to be upset. You just needed to accept that she was moving on, and maybe you should try doing the same.
•┈୨♡୧┈•
A few days later capture the flag happened, as usual the blue team won, which was good, it made you forget about Clarisse for at least a few hours.
But afterwards, at the bonfire, you saw her again, with that same girl. And she looked so beautiful, it was hard to be mad at her. Her hair was down as usual, and she had a black t-shirt on, and it was so tight that made you forget how to breathe for a second.
"Tough, huh?"
You looked to your left, seeing one of her brothers standing next to you, the same one you saw the day you went to their cabin, he was looking at Clarisse as well, his face expression hard to read.
"What do you mean?"
"Seeing her with someone else."
He answered that like it was obvious, looking over at you.
That made your head spin, did she talk about you to her siblings?
"What?! No! We weren't– we never–"
"No, I get it!" he interrupted you, your rambling annoying him. "I was just betting that you would be the one."
"Wait, what?"
This whole situation was giving you a headache.
"Well, you know, in between you and her, I thought you would win, Clarisse was never really fond of her, you know?"
You blinked at him a few times, letting his words sink in. Gathering up courage to ask what was on your mind.
"You think we could work? I mean, we don't even get along." it was supposed to sound nonchalant, like you didn't mean anything by asking that, but unfortunately, he read right through you.
"Yeah, I think you could work. I wouldn't give up on it so easy if I were you."
Before you could ask him anything else, he started to leave but not before saying: "And don't worry, I won't tell her that we had this conversation."
•┈୨♡୧┈•
You could swear you never felt more nervous in your life than at that moment, you were at the door of the Ares cabin, feeling anxiety wash over you. Trying not to shake too much because of the cake in your hand.
And before you could overthink what you were doing, you knocked on the door, taking a deep breath and smoothing your shirt.
She opened the door, her eyes were as cold as you expected, she was staring at you, and then the little box you were holding, and then at you face again.
"Hi." You tried to sound normal. "Can we talk?"
She tilted her head a little to the side, a smile on her face. "I don't think so."
Why did you think it was gonna be easy?
She went to close the door, but before she could, you held it open, getting closer to her.
"Clarisse, please? I really wanna talk."
"Well, I really don't care."
But she didn't move, she didn't back away from you or tried closing the door again, she just stood there, hand on the door knob.
"I have cake!" she looked a little confused, looking at the small box you were holding again. "Orange cake, it's delicious. It's... for you."
You sounded out of breath, like you just ran a marathon.
She sighed and turned around, leaving the door open for you.
"Everybody, get out!"
Without saying anything, her siblings left, some of them giving you a glare, but most left without even looking at you.
Clarisse looked over at your direction again and gesture for you to get in.
"Nice bow."
When you turned around to look at her, she was leaning on the door, like she was ready to kick you out at any minute.
"Thank you." You said touching the bow in your hair, trying not to smile at the fact she complimented you.
She stared at you for a few seconds and rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here? Because if you're just going to stand there–"
"I came to apologize." You took one step closer to her, feeling a little bit more confident. "The way I treated you at the beach... that was horrible, I'm so sorry. You don't need to forgive me or anything but I just– I just wanted to say that I like you. And I didn't want to admit that, because, it's so scary, and you make me feel like I'm gonna die sometimes because of how fast my heart beats when you're around."
"And I was so ready to just pretend I don't feel this way, but then I saw you with that girl and, I just can't do that. Giving us a chance might hurt me in the future but not having you right now hurts just the same, and I can't take it. And I know I'm a coward and–"
"Is that orange cake you said?"
"I'm sorry?" you looked at her like she just said the most offensive thing known to man. "That's it? That's what you took from all that? I'm opening my heart to you."
She took a few steps closer to you, an infuriating smile on her face. "Yeah, I heard that part, how did you even get this cake?"
"It was one of my sisters birthday yesterday and–, you know what, it doesn't matter, don't you think you have something to say to me?"
You were so annoyed, was she dismissing everything you just said?
"Oh, like what?"
"Like... like, you like me back maybe? Maybe an apology for being so horrible to me years ago? Maybe–"
"Gods, you talk so much."
And then she kissed you. But this time, it was different. She was kissing you like she was trying to tell you everything she couldn't put into words, hoping you'd understand.
Without stopping the kiss, she took the cake out of your hands, putting it on a table behind you. Her own grabbing your waist.
You touched the back of her neck, not wanting to let go of her, trying to make this moment last for was long as you could.
When she leaned away, she had a smile on her face, a genuine one.
"Did you mean everything you just said?"
You nodded, still holding her. "More than anything."
"I'm sorry I was mean to you." You were about to kiss her again but she pulled away. "And I like you too by the way, don't know if you were able to catch that."
You shook your head and laughed a little. "No, I got that part, but thanks."
"And also, I love orange cake."
You gave her a smile before leaning in to kiss her again.
•┈୨♡୧┈•
After that, you would spend most of your free time with Clarisse, you guys would go on long walks at night, she would help you practice whenever she got the chance and you would always end up in her cabin somehow.
"Oh gods! Just stop moving!"
You couldn't stop laughing, you guys were sitting on her bed, her hand on your thigh, while you were holding her tube of black nail polish, painting her nails.
"What? Can't I kiss my girlfriend?"
She wouldn't stop moving, trying to get close to you at all cost, holding your face with her free hand, making you look at her. She had a huge smile on her face, making you smile too.
"Am I your girlfriend?"
"Of course you are."
Her voice was so soft, and her hand on your face felt comforting. Making you want to melt into her.
"Okay then." you gave her a peck on the cheek. "Will you let your girlfriend finish painting your nails?"
She laughed and laid her head on your shoulder. "Yes ma'am."
A few seconds later, she heard your vocie again.
"Clarisse?"
"Yes?"
"I could spend the rest of my life with you like this."
She didn't answer you for a few seconds, watching her nails turn black, your delicate hands doing a way better job than she ever could.
She lifted her head from your shoulder, focusing on your concentrated face. A small smile on her lips.
"Yeah, me too."
Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon. With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.
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