#when i say 'love' i mean it generally btw! you can view it both ways :>

[nayruwu]

alright, i have a problem. i am constantly taking notes on what the situation with shinya and guren could be if shinya found out and they survived, but it's really fucking complicated.

this is why i'm so impatient to see it, because i just can't figure out how shinya would react. at all.

he grew up slaughtering other kids for his own survival. he is probably sick and tired of other people dying just so he can live while considering himself pretty much worthless. and then seven billion humans were killed, "for him" and the others.

not only that, but his time at the training facility also taught him that human bonds only end up hurting you and need to be discarded to survive - and this is something he worked so hard to change in catastrophe. the whole lesson he taught himself and guren was that love and the weakness it brings is something good, and that you should accept it even if it means death because living without love is meaningless. now what if that love ends up causing such immense suffering across the entire world that it could not in any case be called good? what will happen to the lesson he learned? will he revert to his shell? will he believe it's his fault, for falling for weakness again?

this really feathers out into another gigantic issue. he discarded his weakness and acted selfishly to survive when he was a child, and later realised that it brought him nothing but emptiness and misery - so he became fascinated with guren, who was selfless and weak, attached himself to him and tried to guide and keep him on that path so guren wouldn't end up like he (and mahiru) did. these parts of guren's character are the whole reason shinya loves him so much, and these parts were pretty much destroyed when he ended the world. in a kind of way, the guren he loves is gone.

BUT it was so he could spend more time with him. which creates a whole new conflict. because yes, guren betrayed everything he was loved for, but he did it because he loved him. shinya has never been loved. it's quite obvious that it'd be something he really longed for, which is probably the reason he accepted friends even with his past of losing them. so what now? he's finally, finally loved by someone, so much that they would commit an almost incomprehensible sin to keep his worthless and disgusting self by their side, but is the person he loves most still there?

he spent a lot of time during catastrophe helping guren trying to save mahiru. he knows they failed, but what he doesn't know, or at least not specifically, is that guren is now trying to save him.

it's eight years of being lied to. eight years of distancing. eight years you can never get back. it's not just gonna be the way it was when they were still honest and trusting towards each other. how long would it take for shinya to be able to believe what guren says and not be scared of lies again? how can he be sure the person in front of him is actually guren and not still a marionette of mahiru?

i'm asking too much of my brain.

#when i say 'love' i mean it generally btw! you can view it both ways :> #might be another one of those posts i will add to if i can think of more #23 o'clock thoughts sent to hale in a tired daze #brain fried #owari no seraph #seraph of the end #shinya hiiragi #guren ichinose #gureshin #FREE MY SOUL FROM THE MORTAL BOUNDS OF FLESH #i considered myself a high iq shinya stan until i tried to fabricate aftermath fanfiction

[generalsmemories]

[ Request ] It's a rainy day out.. what do Jing yuan & the reader usually do in this weather?

This could be HCs or a drabble ( Please make it the fluff genre )

Thank you! :) ( LOVE YOUR JING YUAN LAYOUT BTW )

the pitter patter of the rain

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ synopsis: under the gentle sound of rain there's only you and jing yuan... along with mimi of course.

✧ content: established relationship & fluff

✧ a/n: guess who absolutely lost it upon hearing this man speak in the special program for 1.2? yes. it was me. so here we are. i bring forth a gentle fluffy piece today. and EEE THANK YOU! THE HEADER ONLY TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINUTES BUT IM GLAD IT'S TO YOUR LIKING ANON !!!

Jing Yuan loved when the weather in Xianzhou were set to become rainy throughout the entire day. It would mean a certain set of events were more than certainly bound to happen.

He would be able to avoid being at the Divine of Foresight and doing paperwork with easy accesibility for everyone else to come and find him, because no one likes to travel back and forth in the rain.

He could stay home when he negotiaties the terms with both Qingzu and the other commissioners on a set amount of papers he has to look through to further advance the Xianzhou.

He would have your undivided attention (if he manages to shoo both Yanqing and Mimi away) because you too, liked to stay inside when it rained.

And as he expected, the first and second point came to pass without any trouble, but as he slid the door open announcing that he was home, he was met with silence. He was sure that the rain wouldn't stop Yanqing from traveling to the training grounds and continuing to swing his sword, to which was proven true when he noticed that Yanqings' shoes were missing from the entryway. As Jing Yuan ventured further inside the house, he was able to hear the gentle breeze rustle through the curtains, the wind chimes loudly ringing from the added wind from the pouring rain.

And outside laying on the wooden floor of the veranda while gazing out towards the koi pond in the garden were you. You were just out of reach from the splattering raindrops to hit you, but close enough to hear the rain hit the rocks, roof and pond. You were also clearly awake, Jing Yuan could tell by the hand that is threading through Mimi's mane whose head was resting on top of your stomach, while the upper body was covering your lower half like a blanket.

Truly a serene view, but his third point had yet come to pass because you hadn't even greeted him home.

Which meant that your attention was solely on Mimi and the splattering of rain hitting the ground or pond in front of you. But not him.

So with a small chuckle he made his way over to you, "It's quite saddening to be met with silence when I announce my early return home, you know?" Jing Yuan tells you when he's within earshot, you merely turn your gaze away from the pond to stare at him, eyes crinkling as you give him a smile, "Welcome home, Jing Yuan," you say with a grin, "Although I knew you would come home early."

He knew you were already aware of the fact he would return early, so Jing Yuan doesn't comment any further besides setting down the scrolls he took home to read through beside your head. And as if on instinct, you crane your head up from the ground so Jing Yuan's legs can settle on the spot instead. The general merely places a hand beneath your head to ease the strain on your neck while he finds a comfortable position on the ground before he gently places your head back on his thigh. You hum in affirmation, shuffling a tiny bit to get comfortable.

Mimi lets out a growl at your sudden movements, and you stop moving around while letting out a laugh, ruffling her mane quickly before squishing the cheeks together and making the lion look at you, "Sorry Mimi ~ Did I disturb your nap?" you coo softly, Jing Yuan letting out a snort at the use of baby voice. He uses one hand to open up the scrolls besides him while his other hand is busy twirling your bunched up hair by his thigh through various loops around his fingers, "Mimi may have gotten her nap interrupted, but Jing Yuan is lonely," he coos absentmindely, attention still on the scrolls which makes you let out a laugh.

Letting Mimi's head fall back down onto your stomach, you direct your attention back up at the general, who looks away from the contents of the scroll beside him to cock his head to the side, his usual grin still painting his lips. Your arm reaches up to him, to which Jing Yuan is quick to bend his head so that you can pat his head and thread your fingers through his hair, brushing away the bangs that cover his other eye to get a proper look at him.

"Why is our general acting so cute today, hmm?" you wonder out loud, Jing Yuan freeing his fingers from your hair to cup your cheek, thumb caressing your skin softly, you merely turn your head a bit to kiss the inside of his palm, "Because the general hasn't gotten his words of affirmation for his hard work today," he jokes back.

And as Jing Yuan watches your body shake with constrained laughter, his gaze softens. Breathing in the humid air from the rain that's starting to pour down hard - such serene moments with you could truly only be obtainable by the amount of work he has done over the years to keep Xianzhou peaceful.

As mundane as it is, he's somewhat glad that he's put himself in such a mundane routine for the sakes of moments like these.

"There, there, our cute general has done so well today," you praise, ruffling his hair, "What does he want for a reward for his good work, hmm?" you joke, to which Jing Yuan playfully rolls his eyes, only moving his thigh a bit as a signal to make you arch your neck up so he can lean down further and connect your lips.

He truly loved the rainy days onboard the Xianzhou.

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail x you #star rail x reader #hsr x you #jing yuan x reader #x reader #reader-insert

[d34dlysinner]

hello, I hope you're well, I really loved your writing, but as I'm still not sure about certain blogs, I apologize if you don't write or I'm asking in the wrong way. Anyway, I would like to know what the kings' reaction would be to seeing MC sleeping on the couch after a heated argument? Feel free if you want to decline the request, and I apologize if there are any errors in English, thank you ✨

No worries, I do write 😭

I just take my time answering asks at the moment.

Your English is good btw! Thanks for liking my content!!

Satan and argument is probably the worst you'll experience. He wouldn't lay hands on you. He never would want to think of laying hands on you, but there will be screaming and running off to cool off. If he's very angry he'll take some time to cool off. It can even take a few days. Sometimes he would hear advice of others which can help him cool down. He at the end couldn't be very angry with you specifically. And after thinking how cute, and at the same time hot, you were he just needed to see you.

He returns to see you sleeping on the couch. He did sense that you were angry and he knew its because of the amount of time he took while cooling down, not even because of the argument anymore.

He likes it when your angry in general. Even now when it's directed at him. He doesn't feel the same anger anymore and just wanted to take you in his arms at that moment.

He joins you on the couch and shakes you awake. When you complained to him he just had to take a chance and ask.

"You want to vent your anger in a different way?"

You knew exactly what he was asking for and knew exactly that you being angry was arousing him too much.

But you felt some relief that he wasn't angry at you anymore as the problem of before was long forgotten.

Mammon would look at your tiny form on the couch. Asking himself why you would lie there of all places. It's very rare to fight with Mammon and when you do you both usually fix the problem and argument before sleeping.

The arguments most of the time would be you both disagreeing on something. Where you were more heated about the argument than he was. He had this demeanor where it seemed as if he wasn't taking you serious which makes things worse at times.

Seeing you sleep on the couch kind of was like a reality check for him. He would sigh before taking you to the bedroom so you can sleep on a actual comfortable bed instead of a couch.

In the morning he would apologise for acting nonchalantly about the problem and he'll cuddle a lot with you.

Leviathan would be by his own to cool himself after the argument. After a while of thinking he would walk around to search for where you were staying only to see you on the couch.

An argument with him could get very heated. It would be both of you trying to prove a point without seeing the other person's point of view. Or it would be something where you're very emotional and you both need some time to cool off because you don't want it to turn into a "screaming match".

After thinking about how wrong you were or how annoying you were Leviathan still had to admit that he should've listened to your reasoning before cutting you off multiple times.

When he saw you on the couch he sighed and woke you up so you both can try and listen to each other. After the talk he would embrace you and allows you to sleep peacefully in his bed coffin.

Beelzebub would look at you sleeping on fhe couch with a look of amusement pasted on his face.

An argument with him can start with just the way he says stuff. He can be nice, but he also can be very rude if he wants to. Normally he would do it in a joking matter, but at times he does forget to use a filter when he's being serious. He would either apologise later on or brush it off. At times he's happy that you don't take all his words to heart. He doesn't mean to scare you away after all.

When he returns to see you on the couch, still angry with him, he just snickered and joined you on the couch. He would hug you closely and kiss your forehead before apologising for his words.

#whb #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad? #whb asks #whb satan #whb beel #whb mammon #whb leviathan #whb thoughts #whb fanfic

[1800-page-not-found]

hello author (＾▽＾)

can I ask you to write vampire reader x human Yjh and Kdj relationship hc i thing it's would be interesting

HI!! THIS IS SUCH A CUTE RELATIONSHIP!

btw this is going to be a healthy relationship, im not a huge fan of writing toxic/abusive relationships ykyk

HELP I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU SAID HC AND IM ALREADY 3/4 IN WRITING EVERYTHING...ITS OK ILL JUST DO BOTH LMFAO

human yoo joonghyuk, kim dokja (separate) x vampire reader

summary: the awful sun...it burns! thus, your lover decides to (somehow) give you a coat that has sun resistance so you can finally step out.

Yoo Joonghyuk is a ruthless man. However, during his regressions, he came to find you, a vampire. And what was so interesting about you is that, you were a vampire before the apocalypse. At first he brought you along only because he found you useful. But then, when he was able to clear more and more scenarios with you, he started to develop these 'strange feelings' he calls them.

Being a vampire was a struggle for you. After all, there were so many people around you, it was hard to resist. you usually drank animal blood from the nearby butcher, but when the apocalypse hit, you lost your supply. But when you met him, Yoo Joonghyuk, everything changed.

Blood is like wine. The more it ages, the better it tastes. So, as a regressor, Yoo Joonghyuk's blood was amazing. Of course, he killed you the first few times he met you, but started warming up.

Now, as the relationship developed, and when you two started dating after, what, 7 regressions? Well, he realized it was hard for you to join him completing scenarios with your weakness of the sun.

He scoffed, "weak." he muttered under his breath as he turned away from you.

His actions were very different though. A week later, he brought a coat that looked almost identical to his, except in a beige color, and with different attributes. Yours made you gain sun resistance.

You cried when you stepped out in the sun, feeling warmth from the fiery ball for the first time. You hugged him dearly, thanking him over and over again.

Yoo Joonghyuk was shocked to say the least. As a man who's unfamiliar with such emotions, he awkwardly patted your back. He never realized how much this meant to you. After all, vampires have feelings to.

headcannons here

he definitely gets the coat first thing when he regresses

since the scent of blood is so strong to you, he will use his coat to wrap you up and calm you down

Where SP exists, YJH definitely gets jealous whenever SP gifts something to you at the exact time you need it.

ur blood bag, he volunteers

every time he regresses, its really weird

like just imagine some super over powered hot guy comes to you and says like-

"Let me be your blood bag i love you" or something LMAOOOO

Nah he wouldn't do that (he probably might)

It would be really awkward though because he'd try to like move the relationship really fast cuz he just wants to date you and hold hands and other lovey-dovey stuff

he's awkward in general

definitely has killed before to give you blood

brought back a bucket of blood once

you didn't drink it because like STDs yk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kim Dokja was like a child asking Santa Claus questions about Christmas when he first met you (pre apocalypse btw). I mean, you're just like the characters in his favorite novel!

It was an accident when he found out. I mean its not normal seeing your co-worker drink animal blood and eat raw animal meat is it? And i mean... it was pretty odd everyday when you came to work all bundled up.

When the apocalypse hit, the two of you were both on the train/subway. You were breathing heavily, trying to control yourself. He gave his coat to you and put it on top of your head, blocking your vision. Few minuets later, he gave you a grasshopper to kill.

Later on, after he became 'Demon King of Salvation,' he met 'Mass Production Maker' at the Gourmet Association when they were viewing the scenario and talking.

(I cant remember all they way how Mass Production Maker acts fyi)

"Mass Production Maker sir, I'd like to ask for a favor." It was rare for someone like the Demon King of Salvation to ask for a favor, well unless it was you. "Oh? And what may someone like you ask for from an old man like me?" Mass Production Maker did not take his eyes off the scenario, but you could tell he was listening to the rather newly born constellation.

"There's someone very dear to me who needs a rather special coat...I know you don't really do commissions but-" The Mass Production Maker laughed an old hearty laugh. "My, my, what young love folks like you have! How enjoyable! I like you young man, make sure to stay loyal, I'll do it for free as you helped me earn so many coins from the bet!" (I think that's what happened if I remember correctly?)

-----

when you two finally met again, Kim Dokja wrapped you in a lovely beige coat, just like his. "What is this?" you asked curiously. "A coat for you to step out in the sun!" You gasped. "R-really?! I can finally go outside?.."

He nodded and dragged you right next to where the shadows met the sun. You stopped, nervous to if this would work or not. Kim Dokja turned around and held your face. "Hey..It's going to work, I promise." He assured you.

[The constellation, "Demonic Judge of Fire" squeals in happiness.]

[500 coins have been sponsored]

"Alright then..." You slowly stepped out in the sun, eyes shut as you waited to burn but-you didn't? You slowly opened your eyes, your senses feeling the warmth on your face. "I'm-I'm in the SUN!" You jumped and hugged Kim Dokja. "Thank you Thank you!" You cried, tears running down your face. You could finally feel the warmth you longed for with him under the sun.

Headcannons!!!!!

Likes to give you blood

wants you to just drink all of his blood, i mean its not like he can't revive

Flabbergasted when you cried when he was dead for 3 days

He likes to hug you because you're always cold (cuz ur a vampire...ykyk)

Had a HUGEEEEEEE cultural (or vampire) shock when you didn't bite his neck but his hand instead

and the silver thing

and garlic

becomes a huge vampire nerd

will correct people when they say something wrong about vampires

outsiders will think HE'S the vampire because of how much he talks about them

likes to be carried bridal style by you with your super strength vampire abilities

first time you two ate together at a restaurant when he knew you were a vampire, he asked for a raw slab of meat with lots of blood

the waiter looked at him weirdly

everyone in the restaurant stared at the two of you

you guys got banned from it

THE ENDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

#kim dokja x reader #kim dokja #x vampire reader #orv x reader #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader's viewpoint x reader #kdj #kdj x reader #yoo joonghyuk #yoo joonghyuk x reader #yjh x reader #yjh #manhwa x reader

[carrymelikeimcute]

The izcourse continues...

When did people stop saying 'in my opinion'? because lord above would that simple phrase have stopped me getting so mad this morning.

I have no interest in reblogging the posts and starting drama, but some izzy takes I've seen this morning have made me want to chew through rawhide, and here's my opinion on why these 'factual statements' are wrong.

Izzy fans shouldn't be upset by his death because he's not a main character, he is a plot device to further the story of the main characters.

I'm a professional writer btw and to me a 'plot device' character is the barista who's in one scene. To me, if a named character with backstory and complicated interpersonal history with one or more main characters is just 'a plot device' - that's a waste of a character and shitty writing. I don't think ofmd is shittily written so this annoys me on two levels - disrespecting the show, and the character. Because in my view if Izzy is 'just a plot device' that's someone insulting the show.

2. Izzy was an antagonist and antagonists can only ever be redeemed and then die, or become a villain.

Not even true of ofmd and certainly not of media in general, yet stated as fact with nothing to back it up. This is NOT an opinion btw - you only have to look at Zheng and Jackie to know it's not true within the context of the show.

Jackie dobs Stede in to the British just as much as Izzy does, and she threatens them with vengeance again over the indigo - does she die? Does she become a villain? No, she's a guest at the lupete wedding for fuck sake.

Zheng insults Ed and attempts to kill Stede, two things Izzy was vilified for, gosh it was so sad when she died in the finale wasn't it? Oh no wait, she became their ally and sailed away on The Revenge!

'Have to die or become villains' is just...incomprehensible to me. The only way I can see it working in someone's head is if they think character like Jackie and Zheng did nothing wrong, when Izzy was evil, for doing the same things - albeit for more personally passionate reasons.

3. Izzy telling Ed that the ship's atmosphere was poison because of 'his feelings for Stede' was Izzy 'blaming Ed's actions on love again, just like he did in s1.e10 because Izzy is just one-note evil and only ever has that one thing to say.

To me, s1 Izzy is absolutely thrilled to have managed to bait Ed to anger, to have brought this out of him. He thinks he knows what he's just unleashed, but as we soon discover, he has no idea - because Ed had never cut off one of his extremities before. He poked the bear, but the bear was actually a fucking kraken.

s2 Izzy, in my opinion, looking at his expression above, is sad, resigned, he is saying Stede's name (which it's already established even obliquely mentioning him is a BAD IDEA with the whole 'talk it through' thing, after which Izzy sounds panicked) but he is specifically trying to make Ed see that he is not himself - that what he is doing to the crew is toxic.

Just because he's essentially saying 'This isn't you' in both scenes, doesn't mean the tone or the meaning of those scenes is the same. One scene ends with Izzy gleeful, victorious. One ends with him screaming on the deck, bleeding out.

I am happy for people to have these opinions, and for me to vehemently disagree with them, but they ARE opinions. And Izzy 'fans' or you know, people who see the show differently to you, are not stupid, racist, immature or whatever else you want to call us.

We just have a different opinion. If you're going to share your opinion, great! But it's still just your opinion.

#ofmd critical #the izcourse #izcourse #izzy hands #izzy hands apologist

[babymetaldoll]

Baby, I'm yours: - Chapter six: "Never forget I'm your man"

Summary: Spencer has been preparing a surprise for his cherie. The team gets a 5 am call that puts everybody on edge. 

Warning: Extreme fluff, smut (p in v), cursing, and that's it. 

Word count: 10.1K

A/N: Honestly, this was self-indulging to write, and I hope you all enjoy it.  Likes, comments and reblogs are always welcome! 

Btw, if you want the whole trip to Hawaii story, you can read the one shot here

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel Masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

(Y/N)'s point of view

After a few weeks, I must say living with Spencer felt like it wasn't anything new. And don't get me wrong, it's not that it wasn't exciting, 'cos it was! What I mean is that it felt right, like what I had always been supposed to do. Yes, sometimes it felt like we needed more room, but we didn't care. His apartment was perfect for the two of us. We would spend the weekends cuddled on the couch, reading or watching old movies. Or kissing. Sometimes all three. It was our own paradise, our little piece of heaven we didn't want to tell anyone from work about. Between those walls, there were no cases, no sorrows, and no pain. Just us, in love, enjoying our company.

Yet still, we could feel the emptiness and sorrow of Emily's loss, and we discovered that sharing time with JJ and Will helped us. Taking Henry out to the park, or just having brunch together on Sunday. We knew she missed her as much as we did, and she became a big support for us during that period.

Morgan was going through his grieving alone though. He was mad at the world for taking Emily, and I completely understood his struggle. Penelope was always there for him, and I was glad those two could count on each other. It felt somehow similar to what Spencer and I had, though they weren't a couple: no matter what, they were always there for each other.

Except for that minute, when Spencer was nowhere to be found. It was Thursday night, and after he finished work, he rushed out of the bullpen telling me he had to attend yet another seminar. He had three seminars and a congress in the last three weeks and thought he promised he would be back home for dinner, it was already nine, and Spencer Walter Reid was nowhere to be seen. I texted him, but he didn't even read the message.

I stared at the kitchen and sighed. The primavera stuffed chicken was ready. I was turning into a Pinterest housewife who loved trying new recipes at least twice a week, or when work allowed me to. Spencer often joked his vest was going to start getting too tight if I continued cooking like that. That wasn't going to stop me, by the way.

- "Pumpkin! I'm home!"- Spencer announced as soon as he opened the front door.

- "Hey honey bunny! How was the seminar?"

- "Boring!"- my boyfriend walked to me as I set the table, and wrapped his arms around me- "I just wanted to come home and be with you."

- "Really? But you just sat next to me the entire day at work"- I felt his lips assaulting my neck as he chuckled and soon reached my mouth, holding my face with both hands, trapping me. As if I planned to move away from him.

- "The work time is not enough. Besides, I couldn't even kiss you. That's unfair"- and so, Spencer kissed me even deeper, and with more passion. As if he hadn't actually seen me three hours earlier.

- "Ready for dinner?"- I whispered as I parted from him slowly. If we didn't stop that kiss there, we were never going to eat.

- "Starving."

- "Go wash your hands while I finish here."

- "Yes ma'am"- Spencer pecked my lips and smiled before walking to the bathroom. I stared at him for a second and sighed. I never thought I could be so happy.

- "Hello?"- I picked up the phone as I reheated the mashed potatoes.

- "Hey nugget! What's up!"

- "Paco! I haven't heard from you in over two weeks, what happened? Were you mad? Abducted? New girlfriend?"- I heard my friend laughing at the other side of the line as I opened the oven and took out the chicken.

- "Neither, just lots of work. But I have great news, we are playing this Saturday in the Black Cat at eight, and you and the doc are officially invited to join us."

- "Sounds good! I haven't seen you play live in what feels like ages!"

- "I know, Mikey said he doesn't even remember your face."

- "How is my baby?"

- "I saw him earlier at rehearsal. He is ok, still dating the girl you didn't like, so please be nice and ignore her Saturday if she shows up."

- "Damn! Can't she get sick or something?"- Frank giggled. I knew he didn't like Mikey's girlfriend either, but I would always be the cruel one. He used to say a was a very jealous friend, but I wasn't usually wrong when I didn't like one of their dates.

- "I dunno, cross your fingers she doesn't want to go. Why do you hate her by the way?"

- "She looks like a gold digger to me."

- "It's not like Mikey is loaded."- Paco chuckled at his words and I simply sighed as I checked on dinner.

- "Yeah, but he is making good money and she seems to be very high maintenance. The last time I talked to Mikey, he told me he had bought her a new iPhone."

- "And little shit made me pay for pizza earlier!"- I laughed and grabbed a few dishes.

- "Well, if we don't have to catch any psycho killer, I promise we'll be there, front row, clapping and cheering you, as always."

- "Thank you nugget. I knew I could count on you. And how's doc?"

- "Good, he just got home and we are about to have dinner."

- "Give him my regards. I will leave you to enjoy your evening with your man. Love you!"

- "Love you, Paco. See you soon!"

Lucky for Frank, that weekend we didn't have to leave town, and after Spending most of the morning in bed, reading, drinking coffee, and making love, Spencer finally let me out of the sheets and into the shower.

- "I thought we could have some dinner before going to see the band"- he said as he drove through town.

- "Sounds good, I'm starving. Where do you wanna go?"

- "I dunno... let's see what we can find."- my boyfriend gave me a mysterious grin and held my hand.

- "Where are you taking me, Spencer?"

- "You'll see."

After less than half an hour, he parked outside the 24/7 dinner I used to frequent a lot when I was at the academy, 'cos it kept me sugar-loaded and caffeine high.

- "Hey, I remember this place."- I said as soon as we walked in.

- "Do you, really?"- Spencer's lips curved in a tiny smirk as he stared at me.

- "Yes, we came here after that party in Garcia's when I first joined the team."

- "Yes, we did"- Spencer grinned and pointed to an empty booth- "And I will forever consider that night as our first date."

- "Really?"- I sat and looked at him, raising an eyebrow- "You were aware back then I was dating someone else, right honey?"

- "I do. But I also know you never loved Paul"- I blushed and nodded. Though I knew it was true, it was very different when Spencer pointed it out. And even weirder when he remarked it with a cocky smile on his lips.

- "Are you implying I already loved you back in those days?"

- "Did you?"

- "I don't remember..."- I teased and he chuckled.

- "Well, I already knew you were the most special woman I had ever met."

- "I had been on the team just for four weeks or so."

- "And?"

- "You are full of shit, Spencer!"- I chuckled and he laughed- "Are you trying to tell me you've always loved me?"

- "You know I have, from day one."- he held my hand and kissed it- "It's true. I'm not telling you this 'cause I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

- "Can I take your order?"- a waitress interrupted us and forced us to pay attention to the menu instead. Spencer asked for a cheese sandwich and I ordered a burger, plus two cupcakes and two cups of coffee. Yes, we were hungry, but in our defense, we had spent most of the day in bed, naked.

- "That day you told me something I never forgot."- I whisper and keep staring at my hands as we wait for our food.

- "I remember I told you you had been an incredible addition to the team, and that your linguistic knowledge was a great tool to crack cases."- he said and rested his hands on mine, making me see one more time, how tiny my hands were compared to his.

- "No, you thanked me for being nice to you, even though you were a barely tolerable person. And I remember thinking how could you say that if you were the only person in the whole FBI I wanted to hang out and be friends with since day one."

- "See? You did always love me."- Spencer smiled and I shook my head.

- "I also remember thinking you had the most beautiful smile ever, but I didn't tell you 'cos I didn't want to make you nervous."

- "You made me nervous anyway, chipmunk"- Spencer chuckled and added- "You told me you liked my random facts, so from that day on I've tried to give you at least one fact every day. And you always seemed sincerely interested in what I was saying. I never really had a chance, chipmunk, I know I've fallen in love with you every day since the first time we talked."

I stared into his eyes and bit my lips, thinking no one had ever said to me anything nearly as romantic and sincere as Spencer had said. He smiled and so did I, fighting the tears in my eyes.

- "You are very romantic tonight, honey bunny."

- "Yes, I am, ma cherie. Let's say tonight I am happy I have you with me, and I just want to make you happy."

- "If I had known that was your plan, I would have never left that bed."- my boyfriend chuckled and blushed, funny how he could be so bold at times, and still, be the shy man I had fallen in love with over five years before.

We ate our dinner remembering the first year we worked together. All the midnight cupcakes we shared all over the country when we were out of the city for a case, and neither of us could sleep. And for the first time ever since we were a couple, we analyzed our trip to Hawaii and how much we both suffered for being fools in love. We had a very nice evening, it was so amusing to finally share what was going on in each other's heads during the time, I was really enjoying my time.

Spencer's point of view

That night I was freaking out. Three weeks in the making were about to pay off, and I was terrified anything could go wrong. And the worst part was having to lie to (Y/N). I had to use all my profiler's tactics to keep her in the dark about what was going on. The escapades after work, pretending I had to attend a congress or seminars, sneaking to work on a secret project I had for her, everything was going to come out to the light that night, and I needed everything to be perfect.

- "Do you wanna know what was infuriating all the years we were just friends?"- (Y/N) asked and took a spoon of her brownie and ice cream.

- "Do tell, ma cherie."

- "The fact you were oblivious to all the girls flirting with you! And I was always so mad and jealous!"

- "No one ever flirted with me! Ever!"- I excused myself, shocked.

- "You made out with Lila Archer in a pool!"

- "Ok! That was the only time!"

- "You got that waitress's phone number 'cos you did that magic trick for her!"

- "I was working!"

- "Sure thing! How long did you keep the card with the kiss she sent you? It was on your desk, on display!"- I laughed and shook my head, denying any interest in that woman.

- "I forgot about it!"

- "Of course, Mr eidetic memory!"- I chuckled and watched her smiling at me, looking honestly happy.

- "I don't know why you are whining so much, during our trip to Hawaii I had to keep the guys away from you! If I remember clearly, I had to pretend I was your husband many times during those days"- (Y/N) blushed immediately and shook her head.

- "I only said that to that first guy 'cos I really wanted it to be our honeymoon"- I hear her confess after all those years- "I tried to get your attention the entire time, and you didn't even look at me."

- "Didn't look at you? I couldn't keep my eyes from you!"- my voice was so loud I nearly shrieked, as my ears and face turned blood red immediately- "I was so in love with you, and there you were, walking around almost naked! Every day you wore a smaller outfit than the previous, you were driving me insane!"

- "What?"- She widened her eyes, absolutely surprised by my confession. I couldn't believe she had never noticed.

- "I had to take cold showers at least twice a day!"

- "I was sure you hated being there with me!"

- "I hated not being able to touch you!"- I held her hand, chuckling as I let my fingers linger from hers to her arm, caressing her soft skin- "Maybe that is why now is so hard for me to keep my hands from you."- (Y/N) smiled and sighed, staring into my eyes. I tried to look confident and calm, though I was neither of those things that night.

- "I was so in love with you back then"- my girlfriend whispered- "So in love in fact, it hurt."

- "I felt exactly the same"- I kiss her fingers softly and smiled- "We were really fools in love, ma cherie."

- "Fools, blind, stubborn... you name it. I'm glad those days are over."

- "Me too."- I stared at her in silence, gathering the courage to say the following words- "Ready to go to the show?"- she smiled and nodded, and I quickly raised my arm to get the check. It was almost time. And I still wasn't sure how I was going to pull the strength to do what I had planned for the last few weeks.

The bar was crowded, which worked perfectly for the plan, but it made me feel sick in the stomach. There were a lot of people, and if things didn't go well, I was going to be embarrassed in front of them all. I looked around as we walked in, making sure everything was perfect.

- "Is it just me or does this place seems cleaner than usual?"- (Y/N) asked, staring at the hundred fairy lights around us.

- "Maybe there is new management"- I suggested, and she seemed to find my answer logical 'cos she just nodded, holding my hand tight to not lose me in the crowd. Again, there were so many people there that night! Why?

- "Wanna get a drink?"- I asked her, sort of yelling to make sure she heard me in the crowd and pointed at the bar. She just nodded with a smile and walked there with me.

We stood in front of the stage, each one of us holding a drink. I looked at the instruments and felt the air leaving my lungs. But I couldn't chicken out of it.

- "Did you see the sign that said "Absolutely no crowd surfing or stage diving"?"- (Y/N) asked, giggling- "I am pretty sure they put that after the last time the guys played here!"

I heard her laughing, but I keep staring around me, trying to convince myself this is going to go well.

- "Hey, I was thinking tomorrow we could have brunch with JJ and Will. I miss her."- she added suddenly- "Unless you have some other plans for us."- I shook my head, licking my lips, still looking around me.

- "Sounds good."

- "Are you ok, honey?"- (Y/N) asked and touched my arm- "You look pale."

- "Me? Really? No, I'm ok."

I smiled, making my best to look natural. But I bet she was right, I must be pale. When you're scared, blood flow increases to your vital organs as part of the fight or flight response, while the blood vessels constrict in other areas, like the surface of your skin. And when your skin gets less blood flow, your complexion turns pale. I thought I could explain to her what was going on, but that was a very bad idea. I couldn't tell her why I was so nervous.

- "Sure?"- she asked and looked at me, concerned.

- "Yeah, I'm perfect. Don't worry, chipmunk."

And just as I said those words, the band walked onto the stage, and everybody started clapping, (Y/N) included. She actually started shouting in support. Mikey looked at her right away and chuckled, waving before grabbing his bass.

- "Hi, I'm Frank. These are my friends."- Frank announced on the mic, and avoided looking at the crowd.

- "Go Paco!!"- and he turned and looked at my girlfriend, smiling.

It's hard to believe both Frank and Mikey still got nervous before a show, considering they did it at least three times a month. Well, and if they still got nervous before performing, what else could I expect from myself that night?

The first three songs passed way too fast. (Y/N) sang along and jumped the entire time. At least she was enjoying the show. I looked around and noticed everybody was there too. Penelope and Morgan were with JJ at the back of the place. Hotch and Rossi stood at the end of the bar. And Lu was on one side of the stage, taking pictures of the band. I jumped a little, just to make sure I still could move.

None of them knew what was gonna happen, and I wondered what Rossi had thought when he stepped into the bar. It was clearly not the type of places he frequented, the same as Hotch, JJ, Garcia, and Morgan. Honestly, the only person who took me to these bars was (Y/N), to enjoy local bands, which I actually liked a lot after all those years. The first couple of times she took me to bars with live rock shows I thought she was trying to prank me. Then I realized people were nice, and no one was gonna beat me, and I finally got to relax, and enjoy the shows.

- "What are we doing here, pretty boy?"- Morgan texted me and I chuckled.

- "Please don't tell me we've got a case"- (Y/N) asked as soon as she noticed I had my phone in my hand.

- "No, Morgan wanted to talk to me. I'm gonna give him a call outside, I'll be right back, ok? Wait right here!"- she nodded and continued watching the show. I walked to a side of the stage and made my way to the back without being seen by my girlfriend, who luckily was really into the show to notice me.

Mikey walked all over the stage as Frankie sang and played guitar. The fact he wasn't the best lead singer, but still everybody enjoyed watching him perform was encouraging. It almost gave me hope.

- "Ok kids, this is the last song!"- Frank announced on the mic and I started jumping on my spot. This was it, I was doing this, it was real.

- "And we are gonna do something kinda different for once. First, I wanna invite my dear friend Shawn to come to the stage with us and join us on the keyboards."- the crowd clapped and cheered, at least they were all being nice.

- "And also, we've got a very special guest tonight. He is my brother, one of my best friends, and the nicest guy I've ever met! Come here before I start sucking your dick, Doctor Spencer Reid!"

I don't know how I managed to move and walked up to the stage. The lights blinded me as soon as I stood in front of everybody, and Frank tapped on my back, helping me to move until I reached the mic, the one he quickly started adjusting to my height. I looked at the crowd and tried to find my girlfriend, who waved and stared at me in shock. I smiled at her and took a deep breath.

- "Hi, my name is Spencer Reid"- I said into the mic and my voice started shaking- "And tonight I wanna dedicate a song to the love of my life, my girlfriend (Y/N)."

I could see her face blushing as she kept looking at me in shock. I was shocked I was going that as well, so we definitely shared the feeling. Shawn started playing the keyboard, I looked at Frank and Mikey and the two of them smiled at me, so I just grabbed the mic and started singing.

Don't wish it away

Don't look at it like it's forever

Between you and me, I could honestly say

That things can only get better

I know I was way out of tune, my voice was shaking, as well as my knees, and I can't hold a note for the life of me. But I looked at my girlfriend, who was still shocked to see me on stage and noticed her big, beautiful smile. And that's all I needed to continue singing with all my heart.

And while I'm away

Dust out the demons inside

And it won't be long before you and me run

To the place in our hearts where we hide

Surprisingly, and despite how awful of a singer I am, the crow started cheering. I could see Hotch and Rossi clapping, along with Morgan from the bar, as Penelope kept recording everything. I chuckled as I heard them cheering and focused my entire attention on (Y/N)'s eyes. I was scared she would freak out and run out of the bar. And that wasn't even the most stressful part of my plan. What did I get into? I didn't care at that moment, because I knew she was totally worth any sacrifice.

(Y/N)'s point of view

What on earth was Spencer doing on that stage? Why was he doing that?! How the fuck did Frank and Mikey get on board with this?! I didn't know what to think or what to do. I just stood there, in front of my boyfriend, who kept singing with all his heart and was absolutely out of tune, one of my favorite songs ever.

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Time on my hands could be time spent with you

Laughing like children, livin' like lovers

Rolling like thunder under the covers

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

He reached one of my hands at the end of the chorus and helped me walk onto the stage. He kissed my hand as I stood by his side and looked at the audience for a second. Everybody here is cheering. Did they know this was going to happen?!

Just stare into space

Picture my face in your hands

Live for each second without hesitation

And never forget I'm your man

I chuckled nervously as Spencer pronounced those words in front of our friends. He actually wrapped an arm around my waist and swung with me, dancing on our spot. I was glad Morgan didn't hear him saying that. Well, Frank and Mikey did and they were gonna tease him just as much as Derek would. If not more.

Wait on me, girl

Cry in the night if it helps

But more than ever, I simply love you

More than I love life itself

Spencer kept holding my hand and spun me a few times as he sang. He was nailing it, he was owning that stage. I knew he was scared, but he was committed to his performance. I couldn't help but giggle the entire time, I was so nervous everybody was staring at us, and cheering at Spencer. But at the same time, I was so moved he had prepared this in secret just for me, to show me how much he loves me. It was the most romantic thing on earth, and I didn't know how I was going to top that.

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Time on my hands could be time spent with you

Laughing like children, livin' like lovers

Rolling like thunder under the covers

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Spencer finished singing and the bar blew up. Everybody was cheering and he just looked at me laughing, neither of us really processing what was going on. He bowed and waved at the crowd, but instead of walking out of the stage, as I thought we would, he turned to me and started talking on the mic.

- "Chipmunk, I know I am not the best singer on earth by far, but you are always singing the most beautiful songs to me and that always melts my heart. So I thought I needed to reciprocate you in the most painfully romantic way possible."

I chuckled as he spoke and looked around. Frank and Mikey were with Lu standing at one side of the stage, and "Baby, I'm yours" by the Arctic Monkeys started playing at the back. The whole place was filled with fairy lights and the main lights were dimmed, so it looked pretty romantic for a rock bar.

- "You have made me the happiest man alive ever since the day I met you. Just getting to live my life next to you was enough for me to die happy. But now that I've got you, that you are mine the way I am yours, I just... can't"- Spencer's voice broke and I held his hand tighter.

- "I love you"- I said as tears started falling from my eyes. He smiled and nodded, kissing my hand.

- "I love you too, ma chèrie. And I know this might be too soon for some people, but you and I wasted too much time hiding our feelings from each other. That's why tonight I need to ask you the only thing that could make me complete."

I froze as I stared at Spencer searching for something in his pocket and coming down on one knee in front of me. The crowd gasped as I widened my eyes, not even able to breathe. It was happening. It was actually happening.

- "(Y/N) (Y/L/N) would you marry me?"

I covered my mouth with both hands as I stared at my sweet prince charming, offering an incredibly beautiful ring to me. I looked into his eyes and started giggling, absolutely nervous and giddy with excitement, at the time I nodded and he smiled.

- "Of course I'd marry you, honey!"- in a second, he jumped from the floor and wrapped his arms around me. The entire place started cheering as Spencer hugged me and kissed me.

- "Really?"- he asked, shaking and I nodded, kissing him again.

- "Yes, really. I love you so much!"

- "I love you more!"- we kissed again and Spencer placed the ring on my finger. I stared at it and laughed, still in shock at what had just happened.

- "Congratulations!"- Frank, Lu, and Mikey screamed at the same time as they hugged us.

- "I can't believe this is happening"- I said as I chuckled- "And how did you guys get into this?"

- "Come on, let's get off the stage and we'll tell you everything"- Frank said and started walking. But neither Spencer nor I could move, 'cos someone grabbed my arm and pulled me.

- "Munchkin!! Boy genius!! Oh my god!! You're getting married!!"

- "Penelope?! What are you doing here?!"- I was confused, and it didn't get better when I realized Rossi, Hotch, JJ, Will, and Morgan were there as well.

- "Reid told us we had to come today for a surprise. And now we are all in shock"- Rossi said and tapped Spence's cheek- "Congratulations, kid."

- "Thank you for coming"- my boyfriend said as everybody hugged us.

- "We have so much planning to do!"- and of course, Garcia was ecstatic.

- "Lover boy!!"- Derek teased Spencer- "I can't believe you are getting married!"

- "Guys! We have to clean the stage for the next band, come on!"- Frank announced and clapped his hands- "We can keep celebrating back home!"

- "What?"- I asked and widened my eyes, still in shock.

- "I organized a little get-together at our apartment for tonight"- Spencer confessed, blushing even more- "I hoped you'd say yes and I thought maybe we could have a glass of champagne at our apartment afterward."

- "What? What do you mean with our apartment boy wonder?"- Garcia asked in shock. I opened my mouth to explain, but her expression left me speechless.

- "We... actually started living together a few weeks ago"- Spencer confessed, blushing, maybe a little embarrassed. Sure, he was cool performing in front of a whole bar, but he was nervous to tell our friends we were in fact living together.

- "And you didn't tell us?!"

- "We wanted to keep it a secret for a while until things were more settled and..."- Spencer tried to explain and I nodded. And all I managed to say was:

- "Surprise!!"- and felt Spencer's arms around me again. I stared at him, tears filling my eyes as I held his hand tight and simply smiled.

- "I love you so much, honey bunny."

- "I love you more, ma cherie."

- "Come on! Knock it off!"- Mikey argued, but Lu laughed at him.

- "They are about to get way worse, so get used to it."

- "Shit, and we have to work with them"- Rossi added, making us laugh as we walked out of the bar.

While we were out of our apartment, Lu managed to get everything ready for us. Spencer had gotten drinks and food in advantage and hidden it all at Lu's. I was shocked. I honestly never saw any of that coming. As soon as I opened the front door I read the "Congratulations Reids" sign hanging on the wall and nearly started crying again. There were balloons and decorations, it was a party! And I was completely in the dark about everything.

- "Spencer Walter Reid, you lied to me"- I argued as I stared around us. The team and our friends were getting settled and I still couldn't believe I was engaged to my best friend.

- "Yes, for three weeks I kept lying to you every day"- he confessed with a massive grin- "I was a little worried your profiling skills were not working at all this entire time."

- "Hey! I trusted you! Now I know I can't!"

- "No, you can't stop trusting me now, how am I going to surprise you for our anniversaries to come?"- Spencer held me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist, and kissed my lips sweetly.

- "I am never going to get used to seeing you acting like a couple"- JJ said and shook her head. I hugged Spencer and hid my face against his chest.

- "You kinda get used to it after you bump into them sucking faces every day for a month"- Morgan said (more like complaining) but still kept a silly grin on his face.

- "Yes, Strauss even forced us to go through an entire PDA seminar because of those two"- Rossi added, chuckling.

- "That wasn't just our fault!"- I argued right away- "I don't call my coworker chocolate thunder."

- "No, but it's a known fact that your coworker tells you during his lunch break that he wants to read to you while you are naked in bed"- Penelope's words made me blush in less than a second, and what made it all worse was knowing Mikey and Frank heard her.

- "Read her naked? That's nothing, once I walked into them having phone sex"- Frank said right away and I nearly yelled.

- "We were not having phone sex!!"

- "Situation said otherwise"- my friend added nonchalantly and I smacked his arm right away.

- "I swear, if you keep telling that story, you are not going to the wedding"- I threatened Frank and he fakely gasped, pretending to be insulted.

- "Ok guys, enough."- Spencer chuckled - "How about we make a toast?"

Everyone grabbed a glass and champagne bottles appeared out of the blue. I held my glass and Spencer's hand as I watched him thank our friends.

- "Honestly, this wouldn't have been possible without Frank, Mikey, and Lu. Thank you so much, guys, for all your help. Frank, I know you struggled hearing me sing during rehearsals"- Paco chuckled right away and raised his glass.

- "I never heard anyone who sang worst than me, you really gave me hope, doc."

- "I'm glad I inspired you"- Spencer laughed and continued- "Thank you guys for helping me propose to my lovely lady, I will always be grateful for all your support and encouragement during the last couple of days."

- "It was a pleasure, doc"- Mikey said raising his glass- "We all knew this was going to happen eventually anyway."

- "Yeah, it was shocking, but none of us is actually in shock right now"- Garcia added as everybody nodded- "Except for the fact you never told us you were living together."

- "I'm glad to hear that, 'cos I was a little scared you were all going to say it's too soon"- Spencer confessed and looked at our friends.

- "Kid, after how long it took you to tell her how you felt, I am glad you proposed within two months"- Rossi's words made me chuckle. Spencer raised his glass and simply said.

- "Thank you for sharing this amazing moment with us."

- "Cheers"-everybody replied and sipped their drinks.

- "Also, I hope you know this is not your engagement party. I am throwing you one in a few weeks in my mansion"- David announced and everyone cheered.

- "Thank you, papa pasta"- I reached out and held his hand for a moment, he squeezed it and cut me a big grin- "And thank you all for coming. I am sure you were all shocked when you heard the band."

- "The band was great, but when boy wonder stepped on the stage I was like "Wow! I never saw this coming in a million years'"- Penelope said- "And then he proposed and it all made sense! I kinda suspected this could happen tonight, but I refused to have hopes. After all the years you made us wait to get together, I really thought this was gonna take another five years in the making."

Spencer's point of view

I stared at (Y/N) standing on the other side of the room, piling dishes and glasses in the sink. Everybody was gone after sharing a happy moment with us. Finally. Don't get me wrong, I love our friends, but that night I realized that the ring on (Y/N)'s finger might be the biggest turn-on I had ever had.

I stood by the kitchen door and stared at her in silence. She looked gorgeous even doing daily chores. I still couldn't believe she wanted to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me. I was just a man and she was a goddess, how could she long for a lifetime with me? It made no sense. I had never been so lucky before. I had never been lucky at all, in fact. So if that goddess had fallen in love with me, the only thing left to do was to worship her as she deserved. And that I knew I could do until the day I died.

- "What is my lovely ​fiancée doing?"- I asked as I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her middle, standing right behind her.

- "Cleaning a little, so we don't have a messy kitchen in the morning"- she replied and rested her head against my chest- "I loved the way you just called me ​fiancée, by the way."

- "Did you know back in the mid-19th century, English borrowed that word from variants of the French verb fiancer, which means "to betroth"?

- "I love it when you talk facts, my sweet fiancé. Tell me more"- she whispered as she turned and faced me with a big grin.

- "The masculine form of the word is fiancé, with just an e at the end; while the feminine form is fiancée, with a double e, though the pronunciation of both is identical."- she smiled and kissed me, playing with her sweet lips against mine and running her tongue between them for a very brief instant. Way too brief for my liking.

- "Who would have imagined?"- she replied and smiled.

- "I'm guessing you, 'cos I just remembered you are a master in linguistics"- (Y/N) chuckled and nodded.

- "It's ok, it sounds cooler when you say it."

- "That's not ok. Let me make it up for that lousy fact, ma cherie."

- "How are you planning to do that, honey bunny?"- I just smiled and scooped her in my arms to start walking to our room- "What are you doing?"

- "Showing you how much I love being your fiancé, with just one e"- she laughed as I laid her on the bed and hovered over her, kissing her immediately. My hands cupped her face as I held her in place, positioning my body right upon hers. Her fingers played with my hair, and I moaned against her lips at the sensation. I loved it when she did that. I could live in that kiss and die happy any second.

- "You have been extremely romantic today, honey"- she whispered and giggled- "Maybe I should reward you."

- "No chipmunk. Tonight you are mine."

- "I'm yours"- she whispered and smiled as if the sentence had just hit her- "I've always been yours and now I'm gonna be yours until the end of time."

Her words melted my heart and I had to fight the tears, because of all the sweet things she had said to me over the years, those words were the prettiest and most meaningful. I caressed her cheeks and kissed her again, tasting her in my mouth. The warmth of her body underneath me was captivating, and it felt like a magnet, keeping me in place, unable to move.

- "I wanna feel you in me"- she whispered against my lips- "Please."

To hear her begging made my cock get even harder underneath my clothes. And that was a problem: there was too much clothing on us at the moment.

My hands quickly, but carefully peeled off her clothes from her body, as she tried to do the same with me, getting rid of my sweater and shirt in no time. She was now naked underneath me and I stood for a second to get out of my pants and boxers, as I stared at her in adoration.

- "Did you know that ring makes you look very sexy?"- I confessed as she blushed more, if possible.

- "No, I had no idea."

- "Yes, I can't imagine what your wedding ring will make you look like. I'm gonna have trouble keeping my hands off you after we get married"- (Y/N) laughed and I finally got rid of all my clothes and quickly returned to my place, between her legs. I kissed her with hunger as my hands moved up and down her body, as my hard cock rubbed against her clit.

- "Why would you try to keep your hands off me? I'm gonna be your wife, you'll have to fuck me hard every day. That'll be your duty"- she murmured between kisses, and I groaned at the thought of her being my wife- "And you wanna fulfill your conjugal chores, don't you?"

- "Yes"- I managed to give her a breathy answer as I focused on leaving sloppy kisses on her neck, as one of my hands pinched her nipple, toying with it between my fingers. I felt one of her hands moving slowly to my dick, and she slowly guided it to her entrance.

- "Eager, aren't we?"- I whispered and she giggled.

- "You have no idea how much I want you right now, daddy"

- "Tell me"- I begged right away, as her fingers played with my dick, stroking it and teasing me.

- "I want you so much I nearly dragged you to the bathroom earlier when the guys were still here. I've been wet since we were at the diner, and I just wanted to come back home and feel you filling every inch of me. I need you to feel your cum dripping from me."

- "Fuck"- I mumbled and focused on her breast again, licking them as she kept stroking me. Until this time, I begged her- "Please, let me fuck you. I need to feel you wrapped around my cock."- but she didn't reply. Instead, she guided me right to her entrance and my dick moved in slowly.

- "Oh god"- she mumbled against my shoulder- "You feel so good, Spencer. Please, fuck me."

And she didn't need to ask me twice. I slowly started moving inside her, as my lips focused on her neck, exposed to my will.

- "Is this what you were longing for, ma cherie?"- I asked her and she nodded, biting her lips, as soft moans erupted from her. That was music to my ears. I moved faster, feeling her nails scratching my back. I held her close to me the entire time as if she might disappear from one minute to the other. Which, I had always been afraid of.

- "I love you so much"- I heard her whispering- "Yes, daddy, just like that"

- "Oh, ma cherie, you are so tight and so warm, I really could just live inside you."

- "I won't object"- she answered and giggled- "I just wanna be yours"

- "And I, yours"- I rested my forehead on hers and stared at her beauty for a minute, trying to soak it all in.

- "Please, marry me"- I literally pleaded and she smiled.

- "You already asked and I already said yes, honey"- I nodded and sped up my peace, feeling her wrapped around my cock, all warm and wet, just like heaven.

- "And can we have a lot of babies?"- the question slipped my lips without me actually thinking of it, and when I heard it, I realized I had fucked it up. That wasn't the moment, I knew it, but I couldn't help it.

- "All the babies you want"- she gasped and looked at me. I smiled and so did she. Our lips were inches apart, and her moans kept encouraging me to fuck her a little harder, a little faster.

- "That's a dangerous answer, ma cherie."- I whispered and bit her lower lips, earring a soft whimper from her.

- "I'll take my chances."- she smiled and kissed me. I moved one of my hands between her legs and slowly started rubbing her clit, feeling her tremble underneath me.

- "Please don't stop, honey."

- "As you wish"

I could feel her walls pulsating around me as her moans became louder. She hid her face on the crock of my neck and bit me as her climax approached faster. I could feel my own release getting closer as well.

- "Please Spencer"- she whimpered.

- "What do you need, ma cherie?"

- "Make me cum, I wanna cum with you and feel you spilling inside me"

- "Fuck!"-

I rested my forehead against her and kissed her slowly. My hips kept crashing against her body as waves of pleasure rocked us. I kept up with my pace and felt her rise her hips a little, helping me reach that exact point inside her that made her come undone.

Her body twisted in pleasure as my fingers kept playing with her clit and I watched her cum underneath me as an opera. I could watch her unravel in pleasure forever.

- "I love you"- she whispered, panting, and kissed my lips before I let myself go into the pleasure and came inside her with a loud groan. She wrapped her arms around me as tight as possible while I came, and kissed my neck, marking me.

- "I love you too"- I managed to say a few minutes later, feeling the sweat on my forehead and her fingers playing with my hair again.

- "Sir, you are too good to me"- she whispered and smiled- "You make me so happy sometimes I feel it's not fair."- I chuckled and kissed the top of her nose, as I stayed still inside of her for a few more minutes, enjoying her warmth.

- "I know exactly how you feel, chipmunk."

(Y/N) was asleep next to me later that night, but I wasn't able to close my eyes. Her head rested on my chest as my arms still held her close to my body. I sighed and tried to chase away every sad and depressing thought from my head. I was too happy to be real, and that scared me. I had never been that happy and a voice inside me kept reminding me I didn't really deserve it.

- "Please, never leave me"- I whispered and kissed the top of her head.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The news of our engagement made mom and dad very happy. They were so excited they actually planned a family dinner with my brother (who was now single again) and no one fought. No one. It was magic. I had never seen mom so excited before in my life. She hugged Spencer over ten times during the night. And each time I reminded her he didn't like touching, but he dismissed my words with a smile and a simple shake of his head.

- "It's ok, chipmunk. I like feeling welcome."

- "Oh god! You are so welcome in this family, Spencer!"- and so, mom hugged him again, making dad laugh.

- "I had never seen her so happy before."- I pointed out as I poured more wine.

- "That's 'cos she was sure you were never going to get married"- Phoenix explained and lifted his glass to me, waiting to serve him some more as well- "Because of your work, not because you couldn't"- he added with a smile.

- "Sure..."

Diana was excited as well. Spencer sent her a letter telling her how the proposal went, and I added a polaroid picture of us from that night's celebration. When Spencer told me it was his mother who gave him the ring, I wrote her a whole letter myself, in gratitude not only for the gesture but also for her support. She replied in a few days, with a lovely letter calling me officially her daughter, and notifying me she would call me only that so from now on. Her letter also included a quote from Plato, which seemed so fitting for the moment it watered up my eyes when I read it: "Every heart sings a song, incomplete until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."

I was in heaven.

Until we got a five am call to go to the BAU on a Wednesday morning. That wasn't normal. And there was not enough coffee in the entire FBI to keep me awake that morning. I sat at the table in the meeting room and looked around at my friend's sleepy faces. Derek was serious, staring at his notebook, Rossi and Seaver were talking about something, and Spencer was playing with my hand on the table. García walked in, looking scared, and stared at us, counting.

- "Where's Hotch?"

- "Any minute."- Rossi replied, not taking his eyes from his iPad screen

- "I didn't get a file sent to me. Did a case go directly to him?"- she asked as she sat down at the other side of the table.

- "Don't know."

- "When's the last time he called a meeting this early?"- Seaver asked and I was scared of that answer, 'cos it was the thought I had ever since the phone rang and I didn't even want to bring it up to not scare Spencer. Though it was obvious he knew it too.

- "Three years, eight months ago."- he answered and I squeezed his hand.

- "And what happened?"- Seaver seemed confused.

- "Gideon left."- I whispered and Spencer nodded. That freaked García right away.

- "Who's leaving?!"

- "Nobody's leaving, babygirl"- Derek sentenced right away, but he looked at us and I could read the nervousness on his face. He wasn't sure of what was happening, none of us were. And after Emily's death, I was afraid to lose another teammate. And sometimes I felt my life with Spencer was so perfect, something very bad was bound to happen.

- "I appreciate everyone coming in early."- Hotch said suddenly, walking in a hurry.

- "What's going on?"- Rossi questioned right away and my heart skipped a beat in fear of very bad news.

- "The Director called a meeting last night to discuss budgets."

- "They skipped over Strauss?"- Rossi seemed shocked.

- "She's away."- Aaron dismissed the question and continued- "The Bureau is facing a lot of changes and this unit is no exception. Over the next few weeks, each of you is going to be asked if you'd like to stay with the unit.

- "What?"- the question just left my lips and never went through my brain.

- "Why wouldn't we?"- Spencer asked, confused and I immediately held his hand again, going against all the PDA rules.

- "There are other options for you out there. And while I want the unit to stay together, I understand completely if you want to see what the alternatives are."

Hotch looked at us with something that could be described as crestfallen, but he kept trying to hide it behind his hardest face. I looked at Spencer and he turned to me. Neither of us liked the idea of leaving the BAU, and less the thought of losing another teammate. This was really bad timing.

- "Morgan, there's renewed interest in you from the New York office."- Hotch added and we all turned to Derek right away.

- "Nobody's called me."

- "They will."

- "That doesn't mean I'm gonna go."

- "Oh, I know."

- "Are you staying here?"- Seaver asked and I focused all my attention on reading Hotch's face as the thought his answer and finally said:

- "It's my intention."- it was clear it wasn't his decision to make. Someone wanted to shake our team. But why?- "All I ask is if you are contacted by another division that you let me know."

Hotch's speech was cut by his cell phone. I was still shocked and scared as I heard him saying to whoever had called that we were going to be there in 20 minutes. None of us moved our eyes from him during the time that phone call lasted.

- "Virginia State police believe they've uncovered a serial killer. They need us at Zacha Road and Route 7 as soon as possible. Morgan, you and Dave get out there."

- "What about this?"- I asked him and Penelope nodded.

- "Yes, we need to talk about this, Hotch."

- "We can talk about it later."- he simply replied and stood up. I looked at my teammates, all of us still trying to process what had just happened. But there was no time, we had to catch a serial killer. Again.

- "Relax, you know I'm not going anywhere"- I said to my boyfriend as soon as I reached his desk.

- "I know. Me neither."- he assured me and we both nodded as if we had just made a silent vow- "Well, I guess this is gonna be a long day."

- "I'll make a nice dinner to compensate."- my words made him smile and his eyes shone with happiness. We had each other, and that was all that mattered at that moment.

Spencer's point of view

(Y/N) made coffee and we started working on the geographic profile of the case with Ashley. Hotch locked himself in his office and none of us mentioned what had happened during the morning. Instead, we just worked. So far, all we knew was that a potential serial killer was killing and moving victims between states.

- "The only reason we have this case is because of an accident."- I mumbled, staring at the map.

- "You know the odds of that?"- Ashley asked and I heard my girlfriend chuckling.

- "Is that rhetorical? 'Cos you know he does"- Ashley smiled at (Y/N)'s comment as I just continued staring at the map on the board.

- "You think the unsub is working alone?"- Ashley asked us, but instead, (Y/N) asked her.

- "What do you think?"

- "Unlikely. It's high-risk to move one body out of state, but two?"- Seaver answered, and my girlfriend nodded.

- "Let's check the facts. Paige was abducted months after having Jake in captivity, and he traveled with both, which means he's criminally sophisticated."- (Y/N) pointed out as I nodded

- "Yes, it seems more like an organized operation as opposed to an individual offender."- I added, as she continued speaking.

- "Then he's probably done this before."

- "You think there are more victims out there?"- Ashley asked and I shook my head.

- "Impossible to say until we figure out how those two were targeted."

García walked in and held (Y/N)'s arm. She seemed excited or nervous. Probably both.

- "She is here!"

- "Who?"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and looked outside to the bullpen.

- "SSA Andi Swan! She's the head of the Domestic Trafficking Task Force and I love her work, she is a genius!"

- "Why is she here? Do you think Hotch is interviewing her as Emily's replacement?"- (Y/N)'s words froze me. I never thought of anyone replacing Emily, and getting a new teammate didn't feel right just yet.

- "Apparently she is collaborating with the case. Anyway, I have to run open cases for the last two years without any parameters to narrow it down, so I'll leave you, kids, for a while"- Garcia waved and walked out of the conference room.

- "Considering they are traveling with their victims, we need agent Swan's help"- I sipped my coffee and (Y/N) turned to me, nodding.

- "Yeah, and we need all the help we can get to finish this case quickly."

- "How are the wedding plans by the way?"- Seaver asked out of the blue. The fact she was the only one on the team I didn't invite to the proposal wasn't really a shock to anyone, 'cos they all knew she and (Y/N) had a very rocky relationship until Prentiss' death, and I didn't want to push it. She congratulated us as soon as she heard the news, though. And so far, she has acted very nice about it.

- "Slow"- (Y/N) sighed, staring at a bunch of papers- "We have been trying to find a place for the reception, but we haven't had much time to visit any because we have been way too busy with cases."

- "Rossi said you could use his mansion"- Ashley suggested- "That's a nice venue"

- "Yeah, we know, but we don't want to take advantage of his generosity."- I say and smile- "Besides, we still got time"

- "Yeah, we are not in a hurry."- (Y/N) added the second Hotch walked in with agent Swan, and they started filling us in with everything the Domestic Traffic task force knew about the case.

The wedding plans had been stressful, but fun. It was something I never pictured myself doing, but it was fulfilling in a way. (Y/N) and I were working on our budget and our guesses list. I was glad we didn't know many people. She asked if I wanted to invite my dad, but I didn't want to, it didn't feel right. We still hadn't set a date, but we weren't in a rush. We just wanted everything to be perfect.

- "Here are the missing coeds since 2009."- García's voice took me from my thoughts as she walked into the office and left a considerable pile of files on the table.

- "Wow."- Seaver's reaction was funny, both (Y/N) and I smiled as we saw her shocked face.

- "Thank you sweety"- my girlfriend thanked our friend- "Let's look at the last-known locations on these files. Maybe there's an overlap, so we can start narrowing this down"

- "They're from all over the place."- Penelope whispered the bad news and (Y/N) frowned.

- "Fuck, ok so then let's think. These guys hunt in target-rich environments, right? Let's start looking for clubs, malls, that kind of thing."- (Y/N) turned to Seaver and the two of them started going through the files at once.

- "What are Morgan and Rossi finding?"- I asked García

- "Uh, a lot of mud on the car and the victims."

- "Mud? Did it rain here?"- I frowned confused. That didn't make much sense.

- "No, not here. South. Morgan has a theory that based on the gas mileage, they must have filled up within 70 miles of the accident."- García explained as I nodded

- "Gotcha. How many gas stations do you find?"

- "Forty-two".

- "How'd you narrow that down?"- I asked and she stared at me perplex

- "I didn't."

- "Why not?"

- "I didn't have any more parameters."

- "Never stopped you before."- she looked at me and sighed, turning around and heading back to her office, shouting "I'll be right back!" on her way out. I looked at (Y/N) and she sighed.

- "You are doing the dishes tonight"

- "What? Why?"

- "Thanks, Reid."- Seaver added and I just stared at them, confused.

But I didn't have to do the dishes, 'cos we weren't home for dinner. We were stuck with the case and with an SSA missing, probably taken by the group. Meanwhile, we were all still thinking about that morning's meeting and the future of our team. Was this our last case together? Who was going to leave? I just wanted to solve the case as fast as possible.

As the team left to catch the unsubs, (Y/N) and I were left in the BAU with García in her office, following the whole mission.

- "I schedule two visits for this weekend if we are in town"- (Y/N) announced suddenly- "The Art Club of Washington and The Red Fox inn Tavern."

- "Jesus! That place is amazing!"- Penelope nearly jumped from her chair as she heard (Y/N)'s words- "How into the planning are you?"

- "Not really too advanced"- my fiancée sighed- "We've got time to settle on the guest list and a budget. That's it."

- "Honey, that's more than you had two months ago."- I smiled at Pen's words and wrap an arm around (Y/N)'s shoulders as she kept staring at her hands on her lap.

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and she took a few seconds to answer. And when she did, she cuts me a short smile and nods.

- "I really hated Hotch's talk this morning"- she mumbles- "I don't want anything to change. I can't deal with change again."

- "Nothing will change between us, I can promise you that."- I replied and kissed her temple. She sighed and nodded, trying to smile at me. Somehow, I felt as if I was lying to her. I didn't want anything to change, but I couldn't promise that either.

And I had no idea that in less than four months, everything I knew would fall to pieces. 

You can read the whole trip to Hawaii story here

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#Criminal minds #Babymetaldoll writes #Spencer Reid #Spencer Reid x reader #Spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #mgg #matthew gray gubler fanfic #matthew gray gubler

[mcytshippystuff]

Can I ask how you view Brunim and Forever's relationship since you mentioned it in your last post? You said you viewed it as toxic on both ends and that it messed Forever up, can you go into more detail?

(as always, /rp, not irl) Also go here for more hcs on q!Forever's relationships this ask is referencing!

Okay so!! Like I said before in that posts tags, I dont know a WHOLE lot about the canon relationship between q!Forever and... c!Brunim? q!Brunim? Whatever, I dont know the canon but from what iv seen, in rp its very much not healthy. So I ended up building my own hcs for them and idk how accurate they are canon wise but I still like em regardless so im sticking to em lol!

(Tw for talks of abuse, toxic relationships, and unhealthy relationships!)

So first thing to note; These guys were really fucked up, toxic, and probs abusive in several places. They started out softer, kinder, safer, but it did not stay that way. Still, know that they loved each other regardless.

In my head, Brunim was very much the aggressor, and the one who started being toxic, abusive, and obsessive about Forever, and was worse about it. Forever ended up becoming toxic and doing toxic/shitty/obsessive things in turn as a by product. I wont say Brunim was the only one who had issues and did bad things but Forever only ended up becoming like that becuase Brunim taught him that's how he showed love in their relationship, so he showed it that way back ya know?

But thing is they stopped being happy, stopped awhile ago in fact and realized they couldn't keep doing this to each other, hurting each other, for both their sakes. Its hard to recognize you are doing something wrong, and it was even harder to let go, for real this final time, and only through help did they manage it but they did.

But the thing is, Brunim was Forever's first real relationship, and it had messed him up. Untangling yourself from that sort of thing is fucking hard, knowing where the line is or where something is toxic and unhealthy romantic wise (or even in general) is even harder when its pretty much your only real frame of reference and unlearning all that shit is hard and takes time too.

So when Forever got to the island, while he's made leaps and bounds from where he use to be, enough he can mess around and even joke with someone who reminds him of Brunim without actually having issues with it (at least at first lol), is still in the process of trying to unlearn his more unhealthy behaviors and expectations.

That's where some of his more concerning phrases or claims come from, either not knowing the line as he crosses it due to skewed misconceptions, saying it jokingly becuase he'd never actually go through with it (though probs shouldn't of said it regardless but hey that's coping with trauma for ya), or knowing the line but crossing it anyways on impulse and having to pull back becuase he doesn't mean it/regrets it. He would never on purpose dip back into those toxic behaviors but like I said, still unlearning and understanding those.

Forever would never actually go through with anything toxic, abusive, or unhealthy for the most part on purpose btw, if that wasn't clear.

There is a little bit, like mentioned in the main post, where when he does start to catch feelings it is becuase of him confusing Brunim with Phil, but Forever does beginning to actually fall for him and it takes a bit to fully separate them, and his expectations of it all. But hell he cant stop loving Phil even if he does eventually see Phil will not change his mind about Forever loving him.

But anyhoo enough about the main thing, smaller but still important stuff-

Like I said Brunim was Forever's first real relationship, and they did actually love each other under all the shit it became. Didn't mean any of what happened was okay tho.

Brunim is a vampire, and fed off regularly of Forever. He didn't have issues with it at first but quickly became painful and a bad time.

(tw for scars and a bit of gore) Forever actually has a horrific scar on his neck from the feedings, though its hard to tell if it becuase Brunim would very slightly shift around where he would bite in to feed over time so it became a mass of scar tissue, or if he ripped out a chunk of Forever's flesh for whatever reason. Forever usually keeps it covered but it burns sometimes.

Brunim's way of punishing Forever was usually to lock him up until he behaved again, specially if they were on "break" and Brunim wanted Forever back. Hence why Forever uttered "lock you up until love me." He wasn't serious about it but later feels sick he said it even jokingly.

Forever is surprisingly mentally stable despite all this and has worked hard on his mental health, thanks to therapy. Most of his issues, like I said, come from trying to unlearn all that toxic shit and unhealthy behaviors.

They really miss each other but tbh its more they miss what they had before, as well as the comfort in the not being alone despite the pain. Regardless Forever will never go back to Brunim, even if they both change for the better.

#mine #please reblog likes do nothing <3 #qsmp forever #brunim neet's #forever and brunim #qsmp #qsmpshipping #mention of #philever #tw abuse #tw abuse mention #tw toxic relationship #tw unhealthy relationship #tw vampire #tw vampire mention #let me know if i missed anymore tags #i tried my best! #this one was a bit heavy lol #also sorry if i explained this badly im tired but tried my best #qsmp headcanons #qsmp shippy headcanons #ask

[a-tale-of-legends]

Friendship HC's for team star?

Oooooh a fun one. These are going to be very all over the place, so bare with me here.

The only reason that Giacomo is as passionate as he is about music as he is today is thanks to Mela and Eri. The two girls have been super supportive of his passion, which at the time he was very embarrassed about. Eri especially, who didn't really look at Giacomo's past and shame him for it. Mela's bluntness pretty much made Giacomo really think about himself, and who he really wants to be. Of course Atticus and Ortega are just as supportive of him as the girls, but those two were the bigger ones that pushed him forward. Though, I totally see Atticus helping Gia with his hair lol.

Surprisingly no one, Eri is the mom friend of the group. She looks after everyone and makes sure their needs are taken into account. That being said, team stars( both the bosses and the grunts) all do their best to make sure she's taken care of too. They have forced her to sit down and let them handle any heavy lifting or general labor, just so she doesn't overwork herself. She appreciates them for that, but that does not stop her worrying. They.... aren't exactly the strongest bunch ( physically I mean). Oh, and her and Giacomo are the ultimate planner duo. Eri's kind nature + Giacomo's tendency to overthink equals they will have almost everyone's own taste/likes-dislikes taken into account. ( Eri also makes sure Giacomo doesn't panic so much during that process. He looks cool calm and collected, but he gets really anxious at the chance of doing something wrong, again).

I hc that Ortega wears gloves pretty much 24/7, for a multitude of reasons, one of them being he's pretty sensitive to different textures. So when making the outfits for Team Star, Atticus worked closely with him to figure out what type of fabric he likes ( both for his gloves and the general outfit), and make the clothes with said fabric. Ortega actually paid for all the material for the team Star outfits really. He likes to go on Eri's shoulders. He likes feeling tall :3. Much like Mela, he's pretty blunt and can go feral cat mode if he wants to. He is a Menace and Eri has held him like an angry cat multiple times. He and Mela have the greatest banter btw. Just *chef kiss*. Mela does push him to be more independent though, which he's not totally used to coming from a rich family, but is still appreciative of it. Won't admit this outloud though, he will never hear the end of it.

In general, Mela let's get guard down more around team Star, but Atticus and Eri is where she's more Soft™. Atticus and her are makeup buddies, Atticus letting Mela rant if she needs to. Mela, next to Ortega, are the most likely to start a fight if someone talks ill about her friends. Pray that she doesn't hear you talk about Atticus in any negative way. Though Atticus does think it's sweet, he doesn't really care anymore. Words hurt, yes, but he's the happiest he's ever been, he loves what he's doing, he has amazing friends. So what people think he's weird. From his point of view everyone is, and it's really nothing to write home about. So Mela doesn't get into verbal confrontations about snide remarks about Atticus anymore. She will give the person a mean death glare though. That usually shuts them up. Anyway, back to Atticus, he actually knows sign language, and taught the others it. Eri and him train together, though Atticus is more about dexterity than strength. Either way, they have fun together. They like to call their training sessions together as a " training montage".

Everyone likes to joke about how Giacomo is honestly Just A Guy, mainly due to his chill nature. He takes offense to this. He worked very hard on his image you know! He is not just some guy!!! ( Really, he thinks it's funny. Low-key grounds him a bit, oddly enough).

Okay I think that's everyone.....nah I'm kidding.

To say that Penny was nervous actually hanging out with Team Star irl was an understatement. Girl was terrified. Despite their warm introductions before, she still couldn't help but worry about them seeing her. Everyday. It's nerve was nerve wracking. In a way it made her feel bad, since she's used to hanging out with Nemona and Arven ( and protag/ocs), but the people she knew for longer? It terrified her. The bosses took note of this right away though, and did their best to ease her in, as if she's meeting them for the first time. Eventually, and rather quickly, she just. Melted into the group like she did before. Her room is already crowded as is ( something that Eri is very concerned about) so they can't always just hang out in her room....so they do in Gia's, who's the cleanest of the bunch. It sometimes amazes penny how easily they all talk to each other, how much they make each other laugh despite being so different. But she's not too surprised. Their misfits who stick together. She doesn't say this much, she always gets embarrassed, but she's forever grateful to have team Star in her life <3.

#r answers #pokemon headcanon #hopefully this is good #team star giacomo #team star eri #team star ortega #team star atticus #team star mela #team star penny #pokemon team star

[thecatslug]

🎄Let’s Flesh-Out Strahd: Part 3🎄

Happy Holidays my dears! As a much requested treat, this week on LFOS I present to you (drum roll please) Strahd’s mental health! So, without further ado, let’s dive into Strahd’s struggles with clinical depression.

UPDATE (2023): There's now a more in-depth version of this post you can find here if you'd like a better look at Strahd's mental health in Ravenloft

(I’m not generally one for trigger warnings because the world is a scary place, but TW kiddos for suicide and self harm.) The I, Strahd books are wonderful novels written by the titular dark lord (in universe) which both have a startling number of pages dedicated to thinly veiled suicide attempts and episodes self harm. I, Strahd: War Against Azalin alone spends pages recounting Strahd throwing himself into the mists and off mountain tops in attempts to end his misery. As a person with chronic eldest child syndrome, used to bottling up and downplaying my emotions, it is very telling when a character with similar issues mentions even that much about their struggles. Because it means that if it’s bad enough for Strahd to dedicate pages in his already unreliable memoirs to? Then it’s absolutely a massive problem behind the scenes.

Strahd, as much as some would like to say, is not a self-pitying drama queen. Well, not in the sense that he’d just ‘decide’ to try to kill himself for the aesthetic. We’ve already briefly established in this post (link) that he doesn’t suffer from any narcissistic personality disorder or other condition that could explain such a thought process. Not to mention that even viewing ANY person in such a simplistic light is a pretty naive view of depression and suicidal ideation. Strahd is Barovian, and as we’ve also established- Barovians have a very dry, self deprecating sense of humour. Such descriptions in his books are glaring attempts to cover up and brush aside very real pain with a somewhat sardonic coat of paint. Alright now that I’ve established my rebuttal to the “Strahd is just a monster” mindset (it’s ok, 5e brainwashed us all), let’s dive into why he got this way, how it happened, and what exactly is going on.

Strahd (in my unprofessional psych student opinion) suffers from major depressive disorder that manifests as agitated depression (so snapping at people instead of moping as much) with psychotic features (i.e. sporadic psychotic episodes brought on by extreme stress). Strahd likely developed the disorder in his early to mid teens, and inherited the conditional predisposition from his mother Ravenia, who may have suffered from a mood disorder (i generally headcanon as bipolar 2). The strain of military life since the canonical age of 7, coupled with his father’s constant emotional (and possibly physical) abuse and neglect took its tole on the boy- as it would for literally anyone in his shoes. While too stubborn of a personality to really crumple under the weight, the underlying depression dogged him into adulthood, eventually leading to his first massive depressive slump and eventual first psychotic episode. After the sudden death of his parents in his early 30s (we’re using my revised age timeline for the family here btw. You can read more here), Strahd hit a massive depressive wall which publicly manifested as extreme irritability and exhaustion as he privately grappled with grief and the realization of unresolved childhood trauma. Already predisposed to mood and possible psychotic disorders thanks to dear old Ravenia, Sergei’s wedding and the meddling of The Dark Powers were the catalyst for a psychotic break of epic proportions. A break which plunged Barovia into the emo hell we know and love today.

After the fall of Barovia, Strahd’s depression caught up with him and only worsened. He didn’t have the distractions of constant military pressures and duties to keep him occupied, meaning the full weight of his disorder truly set in. His depression shifted more and more into spiralling suicidal ideation as incarnations of Tatyana began to pop up. Incarnations that may have triggered smaller psychotic or semi-manic episodes in the already unstable vampire. Strahd likely only sought true suicide once, when Tatyana died mysteriously of plague (an account you can read in War Against Azalin), meaning it was possibly the only time he tried to truly die- thinking it may actually work. After the realization that the dark powers would likely never let him truly die, he may have begun to use these temporary “deaths” as an extreme form of self harm. After all, if it’s not going to truly kill him, why not jump off the tallest tower at Castle Ravenloft? Why not let adventurers try their hand at killing him? If he’s in a depressed enough state- the twisted catharsis of semi-death could become addictingly soothing if left unchecked.

This is not to say, however, that he’s always throwing himself at death. He’s struggled with underlying depression long enough (depending on when you set your campaigns) to not really deal with suicidal ideation or psychotic episodes unless the stress is extremely severe. Remembered childhood trauma and the sins of his past provoked to light are probably the few things that could truly trigger such episodes or ideations, but even then only if they’ve severely mounted to push his breaking point. Strahd is extremely resilient, and only grows more so with age. The more times he deals with Tatyana, the less likely she is to stir such severe reactions. Over time he may learn to cope with his depression, if given the right tools and support (in my game, Madam Eva, Rahadin, and his partners have been instrumental in helping him). Strahd can learn to manage his depression, to deal with the effects in a slightly less self-destructive manner and cut down on psychotic episodes. He cannot, however, fully cure himself. First of all, there’s no SSRIS or mood stabilizers to deal with the brain chemistry issues that even Eva’s therapy can’t wholly fix. But deeper than that, part of Strahd’s curse is his depression. His struggles with past (and present) trauma are what the title of the titular 5e module refer to. It’s not Tatyana, it’s his past, present, and future trauma which he will forever be grappling with. The dark powers will always create new ways to psychologically torment him as he copes with the past. For every success and joyful day, there will be a new day of struggle and a new traumatic event to unpack years in the future.

“We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” -Oscar Wilde

(So for my usual end of post “thank you but here’s a disclaimer” I’m reminding y’all that I’m NOT a professional psychologist, but I AM in training to be one. This is my unprofessional opinion, but one I’ve put quite a bit of research into. I also personally suffer from a mood disorder (bipolar II) so Strahd’s thinly veiled struggles were eerily familiar when I started DMing for Ravenloft again. As always, these are my opinions. Feel free to steal for your games, to discuss and provide feedback, or to just disagree. Though for this post, I squint at flat out disagreement- because I’m sorry, but this man is hella mentally ill my dears. Thanks for reading, and happy holidays!)

#LFOS #Catslug’s Psychoanalysis #Someone give this man Lithium #curse of strahd #ravenloft #dnd #strahd von zarovich #dungeons and dungeons #strahd #dungeon master #dnd npc #NPC Analysis

[cogentranting]

Hi, I don't know you and you don't know me. But I discovered your blog through the rating animated horses posts (all of your ratings are perfect btw) and scrolled through out of curiosity. I am a gay trans man and have had some unpleasant experiences with Christians in the past. I know not all Christians are as cruel as they were, but it's easier to believe it when I witness it. I know this is a strange ask but I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You seem like a kind individual who would treat my community like real people. I don't know what your views on us are, but I'm certain you would treat us like anyone else. Thank you for being kind in this terrifying world ♥♥♥

Hi. Thank you so much for this. It means a lot to me to hear you say this.

I do believe very differently than you about matters of gender and sexuality. I have theologically conservative, orthodox Christian beliefs about those things. In short, that sex should be within marriage, which is between a man and a woman; and that there are two genders which are fixed and in line with our biology. That's maybe not the best expression of it, but I'm not trying to lecture you or preach at you or anything, I'm just trying to be clear so that it doesn't come across that I'm either trying to deceive anyone or hiding my beliefs. And I'm figuring that you know the general gist of it. But if you (or anyone else) wants to know more about what I believe on that and why, I can certainly talk about it.

I've gone back and forth the last couple days since you sent this, over what to say and how much to say. Because I really do care. i care very deeply. I've had a fair number of students who identify as gay or trans or nonbinary, and whenever anything comes up related to these issues they are the ones that I think about. Their names, their faces, their stories. And I worry about them, and I hope that they're safe, and happy and taken care of. And when I disagree with them about things like the concept of gender, it's because I truly, deeply believe that they are the ones being harmed by those ideas and that kills me.

I have a lot of strong feelings about the transgender movement and ideology (for lack of a better term) because I really believe that it's doing a lot of very real harm (spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical) to people who are vulnerable and struggling and who are just trying to figure out how to fit in and how to be themselves and all of that. People like my students and (without making any assumptions about you or your situation) you.

I think there's far too much assumption of ill will on both sides. I think that most people who share your beliefs and ideology really are trying their best to help people be safe and happy. And I think that most people who share mine (who truly share mine, and not some twisted version, because I'd say there's also a false dichotomy that makes it into two different positions and not a wide range of people believing a wide range of things)-- that most people who share mine also want those same people to be safe and happy.

I do also know that there are far too many Christians and people who call themselves Christians, who respond with anger and mockery and cruelty (or are even just well-meaning but incautious and insensitive). And I'm sorry that you've had to deal with that, and I hope that your experiences in the future are better.

I'll be praying that you are safe and taken care of, and that you will get to see God's love in a way that the Christians you've known in the past have failed to represent to you.

I hope that I haven't said anything to sound unkind or judgmental or like I'm lecturing you, and if I did I'm sorry because that was not my intention. Thank you again for your incredibly kind words, and I'm glad I was able to make you smile with some ridiculous horse jokes. Happy New Year.

[maranull]

Μodern Greek rant so here I am cause boy do I have a bone to pick with this fucking culture, country and people. This will probably out of order and with poor formatting to really give you the Greek experience™ (also because I get angry and don't want to reformat all this fucking bullshit).

Note, this is obviously a generalization, and I'm just talking about my own, PERSONAL view of this shithole. And I'm well aware people elsewhere have it worse. But I'm here, so I'll bitch about this country here.

So. Let's start with the obsession over our history.

Is it a very rich history and was it the base for what has now evolved to the concept of the Western World? Yes. Was ancient Greece also filled with rampant pedophilia, slavery, sexism and corruption? Abso-fucking-lutely. Did modern-Greeks fought tooth to nail against the Nazis and made them bleed in ways no one expected from our tiny, shitty little nation? Yes. Did also half the country sold their own families over to the Nazis for a loaf of bread during the occupation (both the Nazi one and the Ottoman before it)? Or even for not even that? Also yes.

Most will call Greece, and specifically Athens, the birthplace of democracy. BUT! It was a democracy for those that were considered citizens, aka male Athenians. Women where "encouraged" to never leave the houses/mansions. And slaves were, well, slaves. Anyway, the democracy Athens boasted about is no more, unless you can call democracy a few families running over and over for head of state and a police force that feels more and more Americanized by the year (I do not need to say that this is a bad thing, right?).

Speaking of bastards, cops seem to be one of the most well equipped forces in the public sector, along with the army (we'll get to those fuckers later). Here are some posts (1) (2) (3) that I made during fire season (I was foaming from the mouth when I made those, hence the language and caps). Take note how in the 1st one, it's a motherfucking cop that is pissing on the fire (also remember his division, ΔΙ.ΑΣ, it will be relevant later). On the 2nd one you can see where the money is actually going during fire season. And I linked the 3rd one to see the hellscape that was the 2021 fires. Btw, this year, we got about 5000 or so (I can't recall the exact number) priests being hired in the public sector, comparative to only around 500 hired in the special forces of the firefighters. Also during the first quarantines, a ton of firefighters were laid down, allegedly for refusing to wear masks. Which would make sense, only by 2021 the whole force was and is understaffed and then we got one of the worse Attica fires to date (2021). "But Mara, they had a reason to fire them!" Yeah, I agree. What I don't agree with is that they never fucking hired or trained replacements, while they kept hiring more and more and more and more cops.

There are constant, and I mean all day —can't tell about the night, I don't live near— anti-riot units in the center of Athens.

A cop shot and killed a teen in 2008. And for all the shit I give Greeks, they are insanely protective of their kids and close friends so the 2008 riots (Wikipedia article here) lit the city on fire. The killer was convicted in 2010 and he walked fucking FREE in 2019. I can promise you that if the riots didn't happen, he would still be "serving" as a cop.

In terms of LGBTQ treatment from the police, here's the Wikipedia article for Zak's murder. And another post of mine doing a partial translation of an interview from a Greek trans woman. That should tell you everything about the LGBTQ-cops relationship.

Oh btw, remember that ΔΙ.ΑΣ unit? About a month ago they were accused of raping a woman inside their fucking department in Omonoia (<- Athens' center). And they generally have a reputation of violence almost equal to the riot unit. I always get the urge to spit when seeing them.

So, now that we've covered politics and cops, let's go to those who enable them, the people.

Biggest characteristic, their passion about their history (minus the bad, of course). So passionate in fact, that the modern Greek seems to forget that modern Greece is younger that the freaking US. Greece got it's independence from the Turks/Ottomans at 1821. We were under the Byzantines before them, which while they were culturally Greek, the rule was a remnant of the Roman Empire, which we were also under before the change (mainly in name) to the Byzantine Empire.

What I'm getting at is that the modern Greek is mainly proud about achievements that happened literally thousands of years ago. And even if you count the Byzantine Empire as Greek (it's too complicated for my non-historian ass to actually explain), the Ottomans tried their absolute best to "cleanse" and integrate Greeks into Turkish customs. And you know, they almost did manage that. A ton of what you'll hear are traditional Greek dishes and sweets have their bases in Ottoman cuisine. "Greek coffee" is literally the coffee Ottomans brought during the occupation. MY POINT! IS! That modern Greeks are so far evolved/disconnected from our ancestors that using them as their whole personality is insane, stupid and gives of "superior race" vibes.

And so. with being a proud Greek, comes the racism. At work, I might be able to sneak in a black or middle eastern person on the side of the posters/ads. If I put an Asian, the phone will ring the moment they see it and I will be commanded to remove them from the image.

Like, even if being a casually racist fuck wasn't bad, Greeks are one of the biggest migrant peoples in the fucking west. How in the shit have you returned from England, Romania, Italy, France and most of Europe and USA and still be a racist bastard?

Racism and being way to proud of ancestry aside, let's go to religion!

Greece is heavily Orthodox. Most will attempt to say that religion is not tied to the state and that the Orthodox Church is just one of many. Yeah, fuck no, it isn't. Religion and education are bunched in the same ministry (Hellenic Ministry of Education and Religious Affairs) and I don't think I need to say how not "not tied to the state" that is, right? Anyhow, the Church did give shelter to the rebels during the 1821 rebellion (against the Ottomans) and now they still rub it in the face of the public during speeches. Like, "Remember, you own us your freedom, now hire us with taxpayers' money and also except us from taxes, thanks xoxo." and then driving off in their BMWs.

The Church having such a hold on the country is also one of the reasons why it's such a slog to have any sort of progress. The people listen to the Church first, the government second.

Sexism, racism, homophobia, patriarchy, toxic masculinity and anti-scientific rhetorics thrive here because that's what the Church preaches. And has preached for as long as it has had power.

I was the first generation that was able to be excused from "religious studies" (aka Orthodox brainwashing) and I was the only kid that its parents asked to be removed. Not in my year, but in the whole school (primary education is 6 years here). As 6-12 year olds we were dragged to attend service every fucking week. Literal country-wide brainwashing.

The day I'm writing this part is 17/11, the day when the 1967-1974 Junta assaulted Polytechnic and we are expecting a march. So, speaking of marches, riots and people trying to have a say in their country, let me point you at the 2015 Greek bailout referendum.

A country wide vote to for the people to decide if we should accept the bailout conditions concerning the debt crisis. I was barely 19, depressed and understood very little about politics, but what was clear is that this was (supposed) to be a decision taken by the people, not the politicians. I voted No (weather I was right to do so or not is irrelevant), along with 61.31% of the voting population.

Take a wild guess what the government did. That's right, agreed with the bailout conditions. What? You thought they'd listen to a clear, legal vote from the people? Nope. At least they resigned after, only the agreement had already been sealed.

~

And you know, I do love this country. I love that you can find ruins in almost every corner. I love the little villages in the mountains. I love that white, sun bleached rock that's characteristic of our islands. I love the myths. I love how I can just walk to the source of the river Styx, how I can climb to the top of the actual Mount Olympus, see and walk on top of Zeus throne (and have done so a couple times <- this is a public flex and i deserve it). I love how the air feels in the mountains and the soil that has been cultivated for thousands of years. I love the rivers and their thin, small canyons. I love the wild, fierce wind of the islands.

~

I genuinely love this land, and I hate the country.

#greece #also #personal #<- if that's your blocked tag of choice for these rants

[nalyra-dreaming]

I’ve seen some people acting like we won’t see even a kiss between Louis and lestat for all of season 2 and even season 3! That’s just crazy to me hahaha

I like your suggestion of their modern day potential reunion being a catalyst for something like that. I mean, I personally would be a little frustrated if they changed the nature of their present day reunion like they had pre-concert TVL where they just wordlessly embraced each other and were generally affectionate (right?). Although I suppose it depends on what the timeline situation is like. They might make it angstier but I can’t see them both just not sharing a kiss after seeing each other after so long apart.

Next season might be feature the bulk of Louis and Armand’s love story…but there��s also devils minion which we are pretty confident we will see, so it’s not like the show is shifting completely to revolve around a different love story, there will be plenty, and loustat is the core so I also don’t see them passing up the opportunity to have nothing physically affectionate between them when we will likely have quite a bit of flashbacks, hallucinating, dreams, beefed up Paris storyline where they’ll interact in the flesh.

Do you think we won’t see anything ‘consummated’ up until the end of the season and there will just be a lot of erotic, teasing, slow burn perhaps throughout season 2?

Well, given by the recent casting calls, there will be a lot of consummation happening *coughs*

As said before, they have to find some way to segue into season 3.

There's several ways to do that, obviously, but I... just cannot see them waste the impact of Claudia's diaries. Or I hope that impact won't be wasted, because they did have a huge effect. They might choose to do the whole raising ghost thing differently (or omit it even), but... these diaries... meant something to Louis.

And since they are pulling everything in the books up from supposed subtext I cannot see them not sharing anything for the next seasons... they have to bring Lestat in somehow, and... a conscious one at that. If they are to continue the interview format somehow. Who knows, maybe they will indeed use another format for Lestat to tell his story (maybe he did in the 80s as a rockstar and Daniel has forgotten? Maybe there are VHS tapes there? And Louis and Armand and whoever else they have there will fill out the gaps?)

But they said that Loustat will be something like the basis for the show, and they cast friggin' Jam Reiderson... they will not hesitate to put that chemistry on screen if they can.

All that said, I very, very much look forward to who else they will introduce. We know they want to add one more "big" vampire (I say big because several were hinted at already - the interior designer i.e. and then there's Fareed, and Armand is on the phone with someone, and I stand by the assessment that he wouldn't have Marius' painting hung on the wall if there weren't some kind of reconciliation) - and that big vampire might have their own views for the story.

I can easily see Gabrielle there, btw. She would be an interesting link to the past and present, as well as a necessary set up for the QotD line. And she could fill out the gaps in regards to Lestat that Armand and Louis can not.

So yeah. I'm betting we get Loustat content next season, though it may be heartbreaking, and I could easily see the next vampire introduced being Gabrielle.

We'll see :)

#Anonymous #asks #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #future season speculation #ask nalyra

[hamartia-grander]

Hiya! I want to say that I absolutely love your text posts, they are all so hilarious and you get the characters 100% correct. I especially love your reed900 posts

I was also wondering why you dislike hankcon as a ship? Like no hate, I just want to know your reasoning. I'm not really for or against it, in my mind him and Conner are just buddies being pals, but I want to learn about how others view the game and their relationship, especially as someone who has only learnt about dbh recently and hasn't finished the game or watching a play through of the game.

You are still so hilarious btw, it's great

Thank you so much omg that's so sweet, definitely feeding my humour ego🤩akdjfjsks <333

As for hankcon... When I first saw the game it seemed very obvious to me that Hank and Connor were meant to be like father and son, or at the very least mentor and mentee. The juxtaposition of Hank warming up to Connor while also healing from his son's death and realising androids weren't the cause was my first clue. And that Hank calls Connor "Son", and says that Connor reminds him of Cole, Hank's real son. There's also just Hank's fatherly/mentor-like attitude towards Connor throughout the game, encouraging him to find clues at crime scenes, encouraging him when he shows empathy, that kinda thing. At first I simply interpreted them as being like father and son, and just didn't wanna see the ship because it felt strange.

Then I found out that David Cage did intend for them to be like father and son. They end the game as friends, but Cage says he wrote them to be like himself and his own father, [SLIGHT SPOILER FOR END OF GAME: with their hug in the final cut scene being like a father and his son. END OF SPOILER] Then there was a person who edited a scene (also slight spoiler but I'll be vague) where Hank asks Connor to tell him what Hank's son's name is, to which Connor replies with "Connor" instead of Cole and Hank's relationship status thing says "Dad🔼", and Cage retweeted this saying he could've written it. When it transcends simple interpretation and becomes the author's actual intent, that's when I can no longer look at the ship as "just" a ship. It becomes an actual warp of their relationship, in a bad way, and instead of letting them be like father and son - or friends, as you say, which is totally valid because that is how they end the game, I won't take that from you - people have to put them in a romantic relationship, because platonic and/or familial relationships mean nothing to them. It kinda sucks. I love romance and queer relationships in media but I also love found family, and platonic love, both of which are just as strong of loves, and it's sad when people disregard those two things as being less meaningful or significant than their romantic ship, because it's just not true.

And of course, I'm not saying you have to dislike the ship or be uncomfortable with it, this is just why I am. Interpreting them as friends is just as valid, because platonic love is just as valid as any other. I just prefer to see them as father and son.

Thank you for inquiring respectfully and kindly, I appreciate it. I get lots of people in my asks who shit on me for disliking the ship - I don't go on any hankcon accounts and shit on them, I simply avoid it entirely - so it's nice to have someone not do that djdjsks. Your ask was very kind in general and I appreciate you💜

#dbh #Asks #Thank you anon! #detroit become human #dbh connor #Dbh hank #Dad hank

[anghraine]

Interesting that you find Turin and Boromir more compelling than Maedhros. Is it generally the lack of interest in the Silm characters and the Feanorians or is it something related to their characterization? Could it be the lack of agency in both Turin and Boromir that makes them more compelling to you? The general tendency I've seen is to regard those with more control over their actions as more compelling, especially when considering whatever internal conflict they may be experiencing. Love your takes btw!

Thank you!

There are a few reasons that I find Túrin and Boromir more compelling. One is that, in all fairness, they benefit from playing significant roles in longer, more focused narratives (FOTR and the Narn respectively). So there's just more space for Tolkien to develop/show their personalities and motivations as the arcs they're so essential to play out.

More important for me, though, is that I'm personally drawn to characters who fuck up badly for reasons that are partly beyond their control but partly within it. It might be psychological damage or some eldritch power fucking with them or some combination or whatever, but what matters is that they're not completely devoid of agency (boring), but that they do have significant limits on their moral agency that contribute to the scale of their actions (if they’re fully in control and just assholes, that’s also boring to me!).

I wouldn’t say that the Fëanorians (esp the sons) are 100% free agents, but IMO they are significantly freer than characters like Túrin and Boromir, and thus I judge them more harshly than Túrin (literally cursed from childhood for reasons he had basically nothing to do with) or Boromir (exposed for a long period of time, against his own judgment, to an intrinsically corrosive psyche-warping evil object). However, if Túrin’s choices and actions didn’t contribute to the tragedies of the Narn or if I viewed Boromir as 100% helpless vs the lure of the Ring, that would not be interesting or compelling to me. The tragic characters I like are ones who have enough moral agency, in my judgment, that there are actual stakes to their choices and actions, but who are nevertheless limited enough by complicating factors that I can find them sympathetic.

Part of this is personal—I find the yammering on about how people just need to take responsibility for their situations/trauma/limitations/whatever very simplistic and inadequate, and as someone with several mental disorders that have affected other people as well as myself, my own sense of agency often feels curtailed (severely at times) but not negligible by any means. So I’m frequently drawn to characters who are compromised in some way, but not too compromised (one of the reasons that fantasy villains who are influenced by some eldritch power—the Dark Side, saidin, the One Ring, bloodbending, etc—speak to me a lot!).

I think a lot of the Fëanorian fandom does see them as basically similar to the type of villains, anti-heroes, or tragic heroes that I find appealing because of the Oath or Míriel’s death or the Valar or whatnot. But for me, they have too much agency for me to be drawn to them, because they do so many deeply horrible things for such deeply inadequate reasons (morally not narratively speaking, in my opinion, etc) that they strike me as less sad than just kind of repellent. If I saw the Oath as more powerful, I might feel differently (though that could go so far as to make them dull—it’s a delicate balance!).

I do find some Silm characters interesting, I’ll say—rarely as interesting as I find a number of LOTR characters, whom I do think are more fully developed in general, but characters like Aredhel, Morwen, Andreth, etc are compelling (and I adore Erendis and Ancalimë in their appearances in UT!). So it’s not just that I’m not interested in any of the Silm characters, though I don’t think the structure of the Silm does the Fëanorians a lot of favors as characters.

But yeah, it’s a mixture of a) personal preference in characters of that type, b) how I interpret the canon, c) limited development IMO, and d) my general antipathy being reinforced by disliking a lot of the arguments and assumptions made by their fans.

#anon replies #respuestas #legendarium blogging #legendarium fanwank #fëanor critical #maedhros critical #etc. (not listing all of them but you get the picture) #/ #// #/// #//// #///// #a #b #c #d #e #* #** #*** #**** #***** #túrin turambar #boromir #general fanwank #villain blogging #long post #rare breed of attack unicorn

[vegeta-tails]

Rant incoming... Because I don’t understand some lies I read at all?

I really don’t like spending time on this kinda of discourse so I will keep this the shortest as I can...

Dragon Ball, Naruto, One Piece, MHA, Bleach (or any other popular shounen if you will) are NOT sexist they are battle mangas and guess what they are.. SHOUNENS? Why some people go all their way to accuse mangakas, CREATORS to be sexist just for the solely reason they didn’t met your very specific expectations and your every single “demand”?

No I am very tired, because it makes little to no sense, it reminds me of high school when some friends of mine would complain about shoujo having romance? and mostly focusing on female characters? FOR REAL it’s the same energy and makes no sense now I won’t break down each non sense I have to heard or read because I am not into discussion but this is something I need to speak my mind on (btw I won’t answer replies if you wanna say something my ask is open but you know wtv)

first I am gonna adress Kishimoto because he is so kind nice and humble and he does not deserve this nonsense he is a good author with flaws OBVIOUSLY but in general he is good! I am tired and it became old already Kishimoto is really not sexist stop making accusations without evidence (where did you take he hate women? this has no basis he never showed disrespect ever), the biggest flaw from Kishi in my point of view is not giving other characters, other than Naruto and Sasuke, much focus and this includes the female characters lets say Ino for example gurl... I respect her SO MUCH and everytime someone make a complain about her I laugh because it is just about natural things or perks on her personality which makes her HUMAN I think she is a very natural and compelling character I did reblog some posts that highlight her very greatness and keep in mind she is a side characters! her team for me is more interesting than many main teams  ~personal taste blabla~ also same for Tsunade, this woman is a beast she is so much the figure of respect in Naruto and I, as a woman, find her very VERY excelent her story and her highlight moments were short but so impactful even her romance with Dan made few pages was great (same for Ino and Sai! what a 1000/10 couple and both are so good characters...) her solution was well written she is strong without “magical eyes” or beasts... Now my main problem with Kishimoto is on a matter of focus, now I wanna thank the Hinata and Sakura fans because they already defend these amazing ladies so much so I will save it from now but for me Hinata and Sakura are the shape and soul of Konoha future, hope and peace too! Just as much as their husbands!

Let’s go for Bleach now, Tite Kubo might be a little interesting, I appreciate that he defends his work so much because if you dislike something so much just write your own thing right? every author should just say this ~ lol his female characters ARE very strong and have a lot of focus, Rukia and Orihime were more remarkable (FOR ME, as a reader anyone is free to feel different in this matter) than Ichigo and other male characters I think only Aizen have the same love (from me) lmao but enough this lets jump to the part where people mess up, you can dislike a character and a manga as much as you want but don’t lie the popular statement of “Orihime is useless only says kurosaki kun!1″ is so annoying and wrong I won’t even... I mean Orihime literally have one of the greatest powers in the series even freaking AIZEN took interest on her powers?? Why?? Even?? Disregard?? That?? it is so hate for the sake of hate. And we all know how strong many female characters on Bleach are but it’s so fun how all this hate is driven to Orihime and in the end all the female characters get bashed even tho none of them are weak, this is tiresome (and the fandom can kinda be contradictory here)

about Dragon Ball oh boy, this one tires me A LOT I srsly feel tired just typing rn, we have freakin BULMA her presence alone in the universe of the manga is even more than relevant, yeah she starts funny (I have no problem with her earlier character) but she matured and she became even better but lets never forget how she was always relevant?! Her strenght relies on being the most realiable and efficient character in the entire series rather than punch power super explosions ~~ etc she is just a fearless, independent, smartest (and don’t forget also the cutest! ~lmao i love her~) character in the entire series, and we have Android 18 a extremely strong character, ChiChi is a very strong woman she CHOSE TO BE A MOTHER AND A HOUSEWIFE btw this applies to all animes or media... And don’t even get me start on Videl... People pretend to be accepting but be judgin female character just for being a mother and staying home like? srsly? this is not the only thing they do! Videl and ChiChi are STRONG 

BEING A HOUSEWIFE AND MOTHER ARE NOT WEAKNESS AT ALL and thats the end of story, all people who put this trait down are just so zzzZzzZZ more of the same average complainer...

anyways, I will just leave it here, btw I am not saying you should love every manga every character hell I have dropped many mangas and animes because they didn’t suited me and I didn’t spend my time hating on them... I am saying that at least keep this honest! Don’t lie, don’t put fingers accusing author of this and that just because it didn’t specific meet your very expectations okay? 

if you dislike the way something is done or written you can always read/watch something else! lucky us to have so many things to choose!

#pro naruto #pro bleach #pro dragon ball #rant #pro bleach ending #pro kishimoto #pro hinata #pro sakura #pro tsunade #pro bulma #pro ino #pro canon #pro naruhina #pro saiino #kinda long #if you hate the way a manga is just move on... I am JUST TIRED of reading lies and nonsensical takes by people who obviously just hate #without thinking properly or moving on #pro dantsuna #pro vegebul #pro gochi #pro sasusaku #i cant even... say how much this same yadda yadda has become OLD #just... search for something that suits you? or maybe its easier to complain idk #pro ichihime #pro orihime #again i am sorry this is long but after years it does get tiring

[mymindinthedark101]

I don't remember how long ago it started, but I love to watch a man cum! The throbbing and especially when the cum shoots out. Whether it lands on my tits, on my belly, or when he jerks off and it lands on him, oh it is such a turn on to watch a load come out!

A few years ago while watching porn I discovered "ruined orgasms" which means you bring a guy one step short of ejaculation. There are 3 ways this can end. 1) You stop too soon. No problem, you just start back up again and repeat. 2) You get him to the sweet spot and he "cums" but you'll notice it's not quite as intense. Usually, when you remove the stimulation whether it is the hand, mouth, whatever, there is a bit if "hangtime" before he "ejaculates" and his cum may or may mot dribble out slightly weaker. 3) You stroke too long and he has a full on ejaculation.

#2 is the desired effect. Why? Because if he doesn't fully cum it doesn't trigger the refractory period which means he will stay HORNY and HARD afterward although sometimes there may be a 30 second to 1 minute recovery period. Again, if you stop the manipulation too soon, you can start again. If you go too far, well, you've literally blown it.

I share this because as I've said, i love to watch a guy cum. Since learning about this technique, I have begun to perfect ruined orgasms with my husband. I will typically give him one or two before letting him fully cum although sometimes after the ruined orgasms and don't let him fully cum which really keeps him horny for later! Plus, I love when he begs a bit asking to let him cum. :)

Some people like to lay next to the man or of fthe edge of the bed so they are.kore at eye level. I prefer to sit on his legs and jerk him off which provides me a great over the top view! I also like to blindfold my husband so I can watch without feeling self conscious about loving it so much. Occasionally I will tie him up while he's blindfolded which is s real turn on.

My favorite time so far was when he was tied up and blindfolded. I had already given him one ruined orgasm and I was stroking him toward another. He had a puddle of cum already on his belly. I scooped some of it up and started to use it as lube on his dick all while I'm talking super dirty to him. As he was getting close to the edge, I grabbed another scoop and put it in my mouth (I'm generally not swallower btw). I stroked him to the point where I would normally stop for his ruined orgasm, I released his dick, I slid up so that I was grinding my lady parts on his dick, I leaned in and deeply kissed him with a small load of cum and we both FULLY orgasmed from me grinding on his dick. Before you hit my inbox with hundreds of messages saying how could you trick your husband like that you should know this is a conversation we've had for years. He always loves the idea of cum kissing but loses his nerve after ejaculating. But, we have done it a handful of times in the past after a blowjob.

That day, while sitting on his lap while tied up, this "wicked," sexual thought occurred to me that i could cum kiss him now as a surprise and it got me so damn hot! So, I made the best of a situation since he hadn't lost his "nerve" yet thanks to the ruined orgasm. I had one if the best orgasms of my life grinding on him with his cum lube and he had an explosive orgasm as well. I got to watch him cum earlier from a ruined orgasm which is what I love and we got to cum kiss which is a huge turn on for us both. I'll definitely be doing this again. Maybe next time I'll rub some of his jizz on my tits too! Mmmm.

#perfectten101