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just-your-average-cryptid · 1 year

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most of us have heard of the red car game. you’re on a road trip, you’re bored, you start looking for red cars to do something.

and then they’re everywhere. you notice them nearly every few minutes.

there aren’t suddenly more red cars now, of course. you were seeing them already, but you weren’t noticing. you weren’t looking.

I am noticing things.

there is a plant I notice everywhere now, a small bushy plant in suburbs, along streets, by shops on the highways. dwarf umbrella bush is what the internet tells me when I look for it’s name. I did this because I wanted to know why,

every time I ever saw it, every place,

it was always dying. always the leaves turning yellow, the branches small and scraggly. inside out - nitrogen deficiency. their soil drained.

I am noticing how many of these landscaping plants are yellowing, how small and sickly they look in just a few years. I am noticing how often the grass outside the house is replaced when it once again turns brown and dry, how the type never changes and the cycle starts again. I am noticing how the unmowed, unkempt spaces on lakesides and roadsides look more alive than this. how the preserve I grew up next to was miles of “messy” unmanicured nature and the ground was covered in leaves instead of grass and there was life.

I am noticing the birds that come by the lake. there was a flash of blue wings and red chest - eastern bluebird, male, relatively common. I had never seen one before. there is a family of ducks that appear every spring; i cannot say if it’s successive generations or different ducks, but I can always look forward to ducklings. there are little brown birds with white heads whose names I do not know - are they some kind of piper? why don’t I already know?

why is it so hard to learn about my native plants (accurately, that is)? why are so many gardening sites littered with people who think a plants value is based on how pretty or useful it is to them, who think a tree shedding leaves is “messy”?

why is knowing about the world we live in so… odd? why is it a hobby and not vital knowledge? I learned about polar equations. I taught myself about mycorrhizal networks and species of insects.

(did you know there are shiny green bees? a special species of wasp pollinating figs? that white flowers bloom at night for moths? do you know? have you looked?)

I cannot look at a lawn and see life anymore. it is a wasteland, devoid of life, dying slowly itself. everywhere is grass, grass, doused in water that runs over into storm drains, soaked in fertilizer and pesticides and a hundred other poisons and sending one clear message:

this is a place of death. life is not welcome here.

I do not think I could live in a city. too loud, yes, too busy, yes, too many people, yes, but the plants would bother me. a tree allotted only a convenient square, surrounded by dead stone and metal.

a forest cleared for this, for burning asphalt streets and racing cars and shops whose bathrooms are “for paying customers only”.

this is a place of death. life is not welcome here.

and now I am noticing.

#it speaks #idk man this is stream of consciousness and it’s midnight lol #I’m having thoughts about plants and people and how much I hate lawns #anti lawn #firmly believe that nature knowledge should be taught in school #yeah there’s biology but biology won’t teach you what plants are edible or deadly #or what birds live/migrate in your area and what they depend on #they teach civics bc even if you’re not politically active you should know how the government works #if you live in a world you should know how it works #bc even if it feels like it doesn’t matter. it does. it will. and if you notice it now you can do something about it

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compacflt · 9 months

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This is niche (maybe) but please share more about ice and mav at Oshkosh!! Do they go yearly? Or just the one time? Are they part of any aviation enthusiast communities???

yes yes yes!!! going to air shows is 100% a date for both of them. i feel like: a couple things:

- they’ve both probably seen the blue angels so many times it’s not super exciting anymore, and until they retire & become private citizens it’s also too big of a Thing for them to go, so they try to go to civilian/private air shows if they can

- one exception is fleet week for obvious rzns. They both probably have to do shit for fleet week on the reg. Ice especially

- i do keep thinking it would be funny for mav to do like a two year tour with the BAs at some point but there wasn’t room for that in the narrative so it’s Schrödinger’s headcanon

- before they retire their schedules are super crazy packed & don’t always line up, even if they request certain dates (like each other’s birthdays, Xmas, thanksgiving, Oshkosh etc) off in advance, so Oshkosh specifically doesn’t become yearly until after they retire. But after they retire they do annually fly in to Oshkosh in their p-51. lots of picnic lunch breaks in Reno/Omaha/Boise etc

- theyve been to the big international air shows (farnborough, Paris, NOT dubai for security/gay people issues, etc) together a couple times when they can swing it. (Me looking for any excuse to send them back to europe on vacation) but before they retire it’s also probably a Thing. So Thing-ness (public & Navy engagement etc) has to be accounted for when they’re planning their trip. they do have a responsibility to rep the Navy as best as they can etc etc

- Thing-ness also has to be accounted for when joining aviation enthusiast groups… after they retire & get married hell yes!!! they probably have a ton of civilian aviation friends & are pretty involved. not before their marriage though. It takes a while for them to come out of the hidden little shell they’ve been living in for thirty years & make friends as a real couple. but they do eventually.

#maverick criticizing the blue angels every time they see them ‘I would’ve done it cooler’#joint blue angels thunder birds show ‘oh my god. WHAT does the Air Force think they’re doing. such poor form #it’s such a shame to abuse a viper like that i would’ve done it 10x better’#this one-shot is another one i haven’t read since I posted it in October #hmm.#some issues #PLANES DONT RUST THEYRE ALUMINUM (but it’s for the metaphor so it’s ok)#i think when you read my plane writing moments you can tell that i am very very enthusiastic about planes #but i don’t know the first thing about how they work or how to fly them #my boyfriend did my physics homework & took my physics tests for me in high school. i never learned even elementary physics #it was covid high school okay we all had to make do #bernouilli’s principle??? it’s all greek to me love <3 #(hungry for pussy voice) (twirling my hair) pressure differentials are like soooo interesting #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #icemav #top gun #asks #props to all you STEM people. i can’t do basic math #i keep entertaining the idea that ice & mav buy a t-38 in the late 2010s #after i saw a t-38 on sale for $800k apparently you can just buy them #that’s the dream

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voidimp · 5 months

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turning off rbs bc i explained this poorly u can stop voting on it

i forgot to add an option for other so just like. pick whichever one u think is closest (or the results option if u really cant decide)

feel free to elaborate on your opinion if u would like. i am Curious i want to know everyones thoughts

#hi its almost 5am #i do have a preference. btw #funny how we use the suffix -taur for other animal variations of centaurs when thats. referring to the animal half not the human half #so it really should be cen[animal]. its like if u had something like Werewolf But Bird & called it a birdwolf instead of a werebird #(using that example specifically bc i have werebird ocs lmao)#correct me if im wrong btw but im pretty sure thats how the etymology works out #like idk what cen actually means. but id guess probably something along the lines of human or person #bc taur has to come from like. tauros/taurus right?? which is bull not horse but close enough theyre both ungulates #edit: ok i was half wrong . why does the name refer to the thing it kills instead of the thing itself

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doomed-era · 1 year

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hey. so. urbosa's nickname for zelda makes SO much more sense if the gerudo language has diminutive forms

#breath of the wild #urbosa #looking at NOA rn. sighing.#I have no idea what the japanese version of little bird is but it probably sounds less...stupid.#I mean I don't think the quality of botw's writing was ever high even if NOA did a bad translation they were just handed poor material #BUT. japanese doesn't have diminutives iirc it does have honorifics and my guess is that urbosa's OG nickname is using an honorific #in a diminuitive way #personally if I was NOA I would have made up a gerudo word for urbosa to say and have her explain that it means little bird #not only is that a cool lore tidbit BUT...that actually gives us some insight into how the gerudo language works #anyways i'm using that for my fic like and subscribe for more bs

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 1 year

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i’m so frustrated with people’s lack of common sense about wildlife. if you’re interacting with wildlife, you’re not having your disney princess moment. you’re not forming a magical bond. that’s a wild animal who is potentially terrified; maybe it’s curious if it’s young enough, but that just means you should minimise interactions as much as possible to make sure that animal lives a normal life. if your kid comes in holding a wild animal, don’t pick up your fucking phone to videotape it. bring the animal back outside and educate your kid to leave animals alone. you know what happens when you take in wildlife as a “pet”? either you keep it and do damage because even though it’s “tame” it’s a wild animal who is in no way meant to live in that setting unless it’s being kept by a trained and licensed rehabber who knows the housing and feeding requirements (and even then i’ve seen some who are keeping animals irresponsibility), or it ends up at a wildlife rehab when you inevitably harm it enough that you don’t know what to do, or when no vets see you, or when the animal becomes too aggressive for you to handle. and then we either figure out how to rehabilitate an animal whose temperament and/or body you have massively damaged or we euthanise it because the damage is too extensive. start treating wildlife like wild animals rather than a dog or cat. they’re not pets, they’re not domesticated, leave them alone and let them live happy lives as they’re supposed to.

#saw a video of someone’s kid bringing in a baby raccoon and holding it to her chest. what the FUCK are you thinking #‘it’s mine now it’s my pet’ and everyone in the comments is going ‘you heard her that’s her pet now’. fuck all the way off #not only does that harm the animal but that makes it very possible for animals to spread diseases to you or your actual pets #not to mention parasites and fleas #there was one the other day of someone getting a rabbit out of a skate park which is good thanks for helping it. but then the person spent #another 5 or 10 minutes interacting with it and petting it. that’s not a pet store bunny that’s a wild animal and it’s absolutely terrified #im not saying learn body language and temperament and shit for a bunch of different animals im saying have some common sense and leave #wildlife alone. look but don’t touch. if an animal looks to be in distress then contact a local wildlife rehab or any rehab at all and ask #for advice. if there’s a rehab near you then see if you can bring the animal in #if you try to do that shit yourself you can do irreparable damage #it’s all fun and games and ‘oh im keeping it as a pet’ until the animal is malformed and has broken bones and infected wounds or is so #aggressive that it’s taking chunks out of people with no warning #‘this wild animal andomly attacked someone for no reason!’ you see how it’s overweight? people have probably been feeding it and when that #person didn’t have food it jumped on them #someone’s gonna do this shit with a ‘sick bird they plan to nurse back to health’ and get fucking bird flu #im just tired i haven’t been working with wildlife for a year and am going to study wildlife and work with them for the rest of my life for #this shit to keep happening. i know it will but im just tired of seeing it over and over again #my post #y’all can rb if you want im just pissed and on my soapbox

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m1d-45 · 10 months

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i would share my builds but. i’m gonna be honest i just go with vibes. weapon would look pretty with certain character? it’s theirs now. artifacts seem even slightly useful regardless of whether or not they’re the most efficient set? slap those bitches on. i play genshin like i play pokemon: with my favorites and while pressing as many buttons as possible until the enemy dies - teddy anon

OH YOU JUST LIKE ME FR FR

kazuha has the isshin sword even though i have an aquila favonia cause that goes to kaeya who i built because i like him, even when he did lower damage. i run kazuha as a dps even though he’s supposed to be support (i have a p well done diluc that does more normal attack damage but.. kazuha :] and kukis supposed to be like a hyperbloom driver i think but i have her as healer. my baizhu is currently using her set cause i like the burn reaction (w benny, who i still haven’t built properly (just a ton of er for burst stuff) and only use for pyro applications lmao) even though he’s supposed to be like. a sub dps. he and kuki probably work well together but i can’t hear that over the sound of my burst support childe who ran freeze with kaeya for an embarrassing amount of my early abyss runs. i still haven’t attempted floor twelve and unless i get my shit together i don’t think i will. strategy i hardly know her, i just go “unga bunga men pretty” and that got me to ar 57. i have yet to level my mona despite her being a great support (she does have a r5 dragons tales for when i want childe to look pretty against the pyro flower but that’s it) and my xingqiu still doesn’t have good artifacts. my team ‘comps’ are “dps dps.2 sub dps/applicator healer” and i have not strayed from this in my entire time playing. chongyun is objectively bad for my current playstyle but that has not stopped me from trying. i will get a freeze team with him xingqiu and maybe kaeya if it kills me

#m1d : [chats]#teddy anon #woo lotta tags watch out #this got long but i. feel a lot about this game #i have a lot of ’it works’ builds but only like one solid one which is awkward but not the worst thing #‘jack of all trades master of none; still better than a master of one’ right #(i didn’t use my fully built diluc for the longest time except when grinding cryo flower (chongyun) cause i don’t like overloaded)#(i have a kazuha.)#(and regularly cringe when he isn’t on my team)#ngl it’s embarrassing how dependent i am on kaz. he’s not there i don’t know how to get the enemies together. what do.#before him it was heizou and his burst and before that it was aether and his skill/burst #me when anemo amirite (has a lv 20 jean and sayu i haven’t touched in ages)#that’s a lie sayu helps w crystalflies and unusual hillichurls #and diluc does go on both of those trips too #unrelated but there’s a bird like three feet away from me #just. walkin about. you go little guy i hope you get all the worms (it’s well into the afternoon)#unrelated x2 but i have an au for a piece of media i like and it’s so annoying that only i and like one other person know about it. cringe.#please i want to consume fan content of my au but i’m the oNLY FAN IT SUCKS #birds back. hey guy. wanna hear about my [it technically spans three fandoms oh lord] au?#i do think this is a low point in my life #like i’ll go to be judged and the guy’ll go ‘you made these three medias touch’ ‘they hold hands actually’ ‘why’ ‘funny’#what do anime minecraft and marvel have in common? me baby #if there is no god to save you then you must make your own #fun fact i first wrote that like ten minutes ago and got a nosebleed right after #if there’s a god they certainly hate me. and that’s fair

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emotionallydeprived-shapeshifter · 8 months

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Hey has anyone seen South? I haven't seen the bird for a while now.

Please tell me they didn't get into anyone's workshops-

#By those above I know that raven can take care of itself but that doesn't mean I want it terrorizing everyone else #I may know how to work around bird that wants the shiny thing but that doesn't mean everyone does!!#shapeshifter speaks #bird shenanigans #emotionally xyz mercs #ooc: Hmm I wonder what South is doing :)

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spicyicymeloncat · 1 year

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I need everyone to know that I while haven’t posted a lot of nexo stuff proportional to how much I think about it, i think about it a lot.

It’s like a malicious hyperfixation which I spend 50% of my conscious hours thinking about it and it makes me stressed, because I’m trying to rewrite it but I’m struggle so much.

I have a notes page which has nearly 1000 words of me trying to nail down character concepts and I don’t even write down half the things I think about. I have things I want but I have no idea how to get to them in the plot. I have multiple ideas for how to start it but I don’t like any of them!

Anyways have some funny notes I put in my rewrite plan thing.

#birds :)#send help #rn I’m trying to do kinda work out the group dynamic #like why are they friends? what makes these guys click? how does each person feel specifically towards each other #also I’m really struggling with Lance and Macy as characters #like actually #i think because both of them have a lot of overlap in terms of background and things #and generally I just want to anything other than the canon for Macy’s arc because I just don’t like it #and I was thinking that Macy could be more of a lancer character but then where does that leave Lance #what’s he good at?#why is he here? he doesn’t even wanna be a knight in canon #sorry Lance fans I don’t mean for this to come off as rude or anything #hajaksnsnskkansjsks #i just don’t know #Nexo knights #Nexo knights rewrite

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elfpuncher · 1 year

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Melinoë being born a couple years after Hades 1 and Zagreus having to live with the knowledge that his parents fucking was a direct consequence of his actions in that game

#im really just hoping for big brother Zag sorry #he didnt know what birds are does he understand how babies work

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pepprs · 2 years

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omg i was feeling better for like 2 hrs but then i saw a post on here that is like maybe the worst thing ive read all day. and now i am feeling despair again

#purrs #going to close this app and go watch minecraft build videos again bc that’s the only thing that distracts me rn. but it sucks. it sucks so #bad. how easy it is to be knocked down like this by a stupid post and how frightened and hopeless and small i feel. like wtf. and i know i s #said this but it’s like the mindset shift thing i rbed a few minutes ago right? like i am supposed to be the BEACON. i am supposed to have t #the hope and give it to people who don’t have it. but what do i do when /i/ don’t have it. that is antithetical to the entire enterprise.#and it does not bode well for our work working lol. like given what i know i should never ever doubt or fear or anything again. and the #sayings are literally brace yourself the world is broken and we’re braving the storm etc etc but right now all that’s going on in my head an #and heart are BROKEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!! STOOOOOOOOOOORM!!!!!!! HHEEEEEEEELLPPPPP!!!!!! and not like oh! brace. brave. ok yeah i can do that #and to be fair i don’t think anyone is feeling that way ever probably and that’s why you can’t be a beacon of hope if you haven’t known #hopelessness and don’t fight to overcome it every day. but right now knowing i need to be a beacon is only making me feel more hopeless. and #i know the beacon feeling bc ive been there before but idk if this will pass bc like uhmmmmmm… i live in the fucking death trap that is the #usa. but it might but also idk. i just am haunted by 2 things. number 1 that the most basic simplest thi ng s in life like starting a family #of my own and having a stable living situation might be out of my reach bc i was born at the wrong time. and number 2 that especially in the #last 2 years but also always there are such HORRORS happening and yet so many of them we don’t feel and it’s like out in nature the forest i #is still just the forest and it’s like for these birds and squirrels etc they don’t even know there’s a pandemic and nothing abt their lives #has changed in 2 yrs (that has substantially impacted their way / qualify of life anyway). and i know everything in my save tag refutes this #and also that if lia heard me saying this shit she’d say in effect why don’t you go write a poem and calm down. but part of me wants to feel #hopeless i think because there’s a security in feeling doomed bc to fight it takes strength and courage and is maybe scarier. but i am just #exhausted and grieving rn except the grief i am feeling is NOTHING compared to other griefs others feel and have felt. but yeah this is also #day 4 of living here again and maybe by day 14 or whatever i’ll be feeli ng stronger and more normal but the last few days have been so #fucking hard and so much about my life is different in ways that are hard right now. so i have to just deal with that and adjust and mayhe p #plunge myself into a piece of media like i have done w every other major transition in my life and somehow haven’t done w this one yet but t #that might just give me a break from my stupid broken brain and then i’ll come back and be normal. bc today i could barely get out of bed #delete later

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genspiel · 1 month

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[Image Description, copied from alt text: An anime screenshot. Castra sits on her chair, which is raised on a platform of something that resembles flesh, has two white winglike structures coming out the back, and a screen visible from where she's seated, attached to the chair by two long, thin arms. Nona stands beside her. The floor is a shiny dark red mosaic. Dozens of wineglasses are stacked around the room, catching the droplets of bloodlike liquid falling from above. Structures that resemble spines with ribs are visible in the background. The walls resemble an enormous globe, with part of the Pacific Ocean and the lower half of North America visible in this shot. End ID.]

i'm losing my mind, they literally designed this whole place only to have it onscreen for like ten minutes tops

#tre watches #death parade #castra #nona #described #id in alt text #ma'am what the FUCK are those bone things in the background #also how does her helmet work. i want one #she has a symbol on her chest that's also never explained and barely visible???#the lollipop she's eating also kind of resembles a mini earth in its own right..............#this room isn't the only mysterious one either. there's an entire fucking train system at the base of this tower. WHERE DOES IT GO #why are there BIRDS in NONA GINTA #and the place quin works now???? what's up with that???? how does any of it work-#AND WHY DO ARBITERS EAT???#shaking the creators and begging them for all the hidden lore tbh

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lockea · 1 month

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I've been seeing a lot of Discourse around outdoor cats that talks past one of the biggest problems addressing community cats/outdoor working cats so I thought I'd chime in with my two cents.

Many arguments I see just... don't think about the cats at all? Or don't consider the logistics of actually addressing the feral cat problem in a humane way. It's always about how outdoor cats shouldn't be outdoors, which is neither realistic nor helpful.

I used to volunteer at an municipal animal shelter in the USA that had a TNR program (Trap, Neuter, Return) and also adopted out community cats to local farms and businesses. Here's my side of the story.

"Your cat doesn't need to be outside" -- Yes, correct. Your domesticated (non-feral) house cat does not need to go outside at all. They can have a fully actualized life safely indoors. When I see this argument, proponents of indoor only cats are correct in most or all their arguments regarding this.

"Outdoor cats are the largest invasive species in the world, and decimate bird populations." -- This is also correct, and part of the reason why you can help by bringing your house cat indoors. Cats are the largest invasive species. Spay and Neuter your cats, bring them inside, and socialize them so they don't become feral.

"TNR doesn't work." -- False. Whether we like it or not, feral cats exist. We have two methods by which we can address the feral cat population -- decimating them (humanely euthanizing the whole colony) or TNR. For a long time, euthanasia was the preferred way to address the feral cat problem. Afterall, if the cats aren't there, doesn't that save the local wildlife population?

Except that we found, studying these colonies, that when a colony is wiped out, the cats of another colony will spread into their territory and continue to have kittens and the population of feral cats is neither controlled nor diminished.

Hence, TNR. What we found performing TNR on cat colonies was that this controlled the population of the colonies, allowing them to stay in their territory, which kept other colonies from spreading (especially colonies we hadn't performed TNR on yet). We at the shelter felt this was the most humane way to control the feral cat population and safely deflate their existence without dealing with the population blooms that euthanasia caused.

"What about kittens?" -- Kittens from these colonies were brought into the shelter, socialized, and fostered out until they could be adopted. Some of these semi-feral kittens needed special homes to be adopted into, but this was the best quality of life for these cats.

"What about cats that get missed during TNR?" -- We would return to the colony several times over a period of several years to perform TNR on the same colony. We mark cats that have been neutered by clipping their ear (this is done humanely, but is the most reliable way to tell if a cat has been neutered so the poor thing doesn't have to have surgery 3-4 times in their life). Also, during the TNR process the cats would be vaccinated to ensure disease did not spread from the colony (i.e. rabies). Still, even getting 60% of the colony TNR'd would dramatically reduce the number of kittens being added to the colony each year. This controlled the population by allowing the territory to naturally deflate in size over time, buying us time to address the larger feral cat problem.

"What if the colony was in an unsafe location?" -- There were two ways we addressed unsafe colony locations -- remember, we know that when the colony is removed, a new colony will move into its place, so we tried not to move the colony unless we really felt the cats or the public was unsafe -- one was to move the whole colony to a new location. Preferably someplace like a warehouse where we have an agreement with the owners of the warehouse. Some of the cats were even relocated to shelter grounds as our community cats. If the colony was small enough we would bring them into our Feral Cats room and adopt them out as community cats.

"What is a community cat?" -- The way the program worked, was that anyone who needed a working cat could apply to the program. These were often rural farmers or businesses with warehouses that needed rodent protection. We trained the farmers and businesses on how to acclimatize the cats to their new home, and as part of the agreement, they had to care for the cats (veterinary care, vaccinations, food and water). This gave businesses and farms an alternative to expensive and environmentally unfriendly rodent control, and also gave these feral cats good places to live out their natural lives.

"Can't you just adopt out feral cats?" -- No. Cats that have not been socialized around humans as kittens, or who have several generations of feral cat in them could not interact with humans in a way that did not cause them undue stress. This was not a humane way to handle feral cats. However, when a cat was brought into the feral cat room, they would be monitored for up to a week. If the cat displayed signs of being semi-social or fully social (hanging out outside of their den, allowing staff to pet them, showing interest in staff in the room), then we would either move the cat into the adoption room or place them in foster to be socialized before adoption. Feral cats who displayed signs of being able to live full and healthy lives with human companions were NOT adopted out as community cats. We also observed this behavior during TNRs and would do the same for those cats too.

"But aren't cats bad hunters?" -- Compared to other species, cats are not the most effective form of rodent control. This is true. However, you have to understand that feral cats exist. There is no "undo" button we can push to stop them from existing. We have to deal with the problem we have right now, which is to safely and humanely decrease the number of feral cats in our communities. And yes, we do that by using cats as rodent control in the community.

"What can I do?" -- Stop saying community cats shouldn't exist. That's not helpful and doesn't solve the problem we have. Bring your cat indoors. Spay and neuter your cats. Adopt from shelters. Volunteer with a TNR team. Support TNR efforts in your community. Recognize that those of us actively dealing with the community/feral problem are trying to do what is in the best interest of our communities and the animals we love. We aren't sitting over here saying these cats should exist -- a feral cat will not have the same quality of life as one that is indoors with a family -- but we have to address the problem in practical terms. We don't have the moral high ground to just do nothing while pontificating solutions that have no basis in actuality.

And yes, it's okay to celebrate community cats. If your local farm has a couple of working cats, that means that farm is helping participate in the safe deflation of the feral cat population. Don't shame a farm or business for using community cats. We're all doing the best we can to solve the problem that we have.

#long post #community cats #working cats #cats #tumblr discourse

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miserycanary · 30 days

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DEFINITELY NUTS ᡣ𐭩 ⤷ next

pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley & model!fem!reader

synopsis: Ghost mentions you but 141 doesn't believe that he got a wife

tags: crack (well, attempted), fluff

Ghost’s strict rules for privacy are something the 141 has known for years now. He’s not the type of person to blab about his personal life and often chooses just to keep quiet. So, imagine their surprise when he suddenly says that he’s going to take a day off because his wife asked him to watch a play.

“Price, ‘am not gonna be here tomorrow. Got a date with my missus.”

All eyes are on him, everyone stills. “WIFE? Since when?!” Soap exclaimed, finally breaking the silence. His eyes were almost bulging out his eyes. “Never told you about her?” Ghost hums, unamused by the Scottish’s exclaim. “Johnny here does have a reasonable reaction. You never tell us anything ‘bout you, mate,” Price joined, chuckling and pulling out a cigar. The man just contemplates before brushing it off and bidding farewell, leaving the group confused.

“Ain’t no way he’s telling us the truth. That man ain’t got no bone in his body to bag someone,” Soap voiced out, looking for anyone to support his disbelief. “I mean..” Gaz whistles out, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head as if he’s agreeing to some extent. That’s when, unbeknownst to Ghost, he got the reputation of being delusional and a liar.

Soap, still doubtful days later, watches the lieutenant with a vision like a hawk. “Hey, lieutenant.” Ghost snaps his head up, looking at him. “How was the date with your wife?” Immediately, everyone else stopped what they were doing, silently listening. It was obvious he was baiting Ghost, emphasizing the wife as if putting on quotes. They weren’t as nosy as Soap but each one of them still held a bit of doubtness that the brick wall of the team managed to get a girl, and even marry her.

“It was okay. The missus had fun,” Ghost chuckles, fondly remembering how you were beaming on the way, rambling about the plot of the play. “Can we see pictures?” Soap smirked thinking he finally got the lieutenant but was taken aback when Ghost only shrugged and pulled out his phone before freezing. “Ah, we didn’t take pictures yesterday. Said she wanted to live in the moment.”

Soap whipped his head to signal to Gaz, seemingly saying ‘See? He’s definitely lying! How convenient he has no pictures.”

“How about just a picture of your wife?” Kyle suggested, now invested while Price seemed to be shaking his head in the corner. “I have none with me but..” With a few clicks, Ghost holds up his phone for everyone to see. Like birds, everyone flocked around him, curious to see. For a while, everyone was surprised and sure the man was lying. I mean, he just showed them a picture of a drop-dead gorgeous model from a magazine!

‘He's definitely lost it’ everyone seemed to think, offering pity glances at the man who had this prideful shine in his eyes. Walking up to his superior, Soap patted him on the back. “It’s fine, mate… we understand how difficult it must be.” ‘not having a lady at all’

Thinking Johnny meant about your hectic schedule, he agreed. “It’s quite tough but we make it work,” he chuckled which made everyone wince.

‘Definitely nuts!’

Weeks passed after that and the topic never got brought up, until Ghost came in with a bento in hand covered with a handkerchief with frilly ends. When asked about it, he replied, “Ah, wife’s testing out recipes for an upcoming TV show. ‘S been practicing and asked me to bring one.” Once again, he was given pity glances and even heard a defeated sigh from Soap.

‘He’s too far gone’

“How’s work?” you ask, dazedly paying attention to the movie you guys put, more invested in burying your face in Simon’s chest while he drapes both arms on your waist, completely engulfing your torso under his muscles. “Been getting a few weird stares,” he mumbles, playing with your hair and pressing kisses on your forehead. “Why?” you peer up, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I don’ know, princess.”

Meanwhile…

“Should we just… finally set the lieutenant on a date? I feel bad. I mean, he even lied about his “wife” making him lunch,” Johnny sighed.

“Probably the best idea,” Kyle nodded.

Now Price… he knows the truth. He met you before when you dropped by, asking for Ghost— which ended horribly— but he’ll lying if he said he’s not getting a kick out of this.

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱: probably won't be posting for a while :] Did you guys notice the hint to my previous work? Please do. 😔

dividers by @cafekitsune

Please reblog!! Ask is open!

check out my other works in the masterlist: ୭!

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yawnderu · 2 months

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>Simon has a neet weirdo as a best friend Or Simon Riley lets his best friend see his naked body for art references.

This wasn't the way Simon was expecting to spend his PTO; naked in his best friend's bed with his hand covering his soft cock, hoping not to make you uncomfortable as you took notes of his body's reactions.

“Can you like... get hard?” He was trying his best not to get hard, going as far as to think about gross things he's seen throughout the years to distract himself from the feeling of your nails raking up and down his bare stomach, defined muscles tensing and bulging beneath your palm.

“'S not how it works.” He grumbled out, tired brown eyes looking away from you. Simon isn't embarrassed— not at all, he's simply not used to someone inspecting him the way you are, curious eyes fully focused on his body, taking in every single tattoo and scar, living proof of how many times he's kicked death's ass.

“Well, just think about... I don't know, tits.” He lets out a dry chuckle at the awkwardness in your tone, trying your best to keep it professional in the name of art. He looks down at you with pure amusement the moment he sees your hand drifting up, tracing the outline of his defined, muscular pecs.

You take a second to fully admire the view in front of you, absent-mindedly starting to play with his erect nipple, not registering the way his breath hitches. Simon looks like a gladiator— lightly tanned skin making his rippling muscles stand out greatly, becoming the virtual image of ancient Greek fantasies, a plethora of scars showing how often he crosses the edge of death.

“Gettin' a bit touchy there.” His playful tone doesn't save the mild embarrassment, about to let go of his nipple before his rough, calloused hand grasps your wrist, encouraging you to keep touching him.

“'S working.” Simon's other hand moves out of the way slightly, just barely enough for you to see his hardening cock, veins starting to become more prominent along his long, meaty shaft. He doesn't protest when you move his hand out of the way, getting a perfect look at him.

“That's... oddly interesting.” The awkwardness coming from you never fails to amuse him, only making his ego inflate by the second, even when you look down at your notebook to keep taking notes of his body's reactions.

“Does it feel weird to get a boner?” He thinks about it for a few seconds before shaking his head, holding back a laugh at the blunt questions. In the name of art, she says.

“Not weird, just... I don't know, bird.” The expectant look that you give him distracts him for a second, trying to think of a better way to explain it.

“Feels good. Bit tingly most of the time, and you can feel it... y'know, grow.” Explaining what getting a boner feels like isn't the weirdest thing he's done for you, half-lidded brown eyes focused on the way you simply nod and keep taking notes, using his words as inspiration for the erotic novels he knows you write.

The room is almost quiet for a few minutes, Simon's breathing becoming harder being the only sound, feeling your soft hands caressing every single inch of his skin, feeling him up more than he can take... and ultimately edging him without even being aware, stopping to take notes every once in a while.

“I can show you how a man jacks off, too. For the sake of art, yeah?”

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mollypaup · 11 months

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kozue my beloved little freak. you could not game the system that oppresses you but by god and the devil you did your best to try.

#kozue is so fucked up i love her #inciting traumatic moment in her youth where she gained a very rudimentary understanding #of the system of misogyny and how it works #coming to the conclusion that if she can somehow control the men around her she can by proxy control her own life #developing into her being sexually manipulative of her male peers and teachers #a warped obsession with her brother because he was at the center of that trauma #both of these things resulting in the world's most fucked up perception of her brother #to the point when being used as an object of violence in a duel #she tried to seduce the object of her brother's affections #because she 1. did not believe her just asking miki for something would yield results because she does not believe #relationships between men and women can be openly amenable and that she must lie and steal and cheat for what she wants #2. also has destroyed her own ability to behave normally around others. even anthy who is an imperfect reflection of kozue's own situation #3. thinks controlling anthy will help her control miki which will let her control herself #she's so fucked! she's perpetuating the cycle in a desperate attempt 'win' it but doesn't know the only way to win is not to play!#you need to LEAVE girl #you have to escape #ough the bird scene makes me so fucking insane #it feels like such a wild departure of the present kozue #but she sees them. small and defenseless and unaware of the circumstances that are coming for them #and has to intervene even at risk to herself #anyway do you think kozue dreams of gentle hands lifting her from a falling nest #rgu

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sistertotheknowitall · 2 months

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Danny is Some Guy with a not so secret admirer.

Part four? Post #four? I don’t know, none of these are exactly in order. Post one, post two, post three.

——

By the time Tim opened the door, Danny had his coffee made and handed to Mia at the register. He resolutely ignored her smug face and went back to making the other orders.

Tim had been a regular long before Danny had started at the coffee shop but it was three days into Danny’s third week when Tim had stumbled in at eight a.m. and did a double take upon seeing Danny. A very obvious double take followed by intense staring before Mia had cleared her throat. The blush that lit up Tim’s face was only rivaled by the one on Danny’s.

He had never had anyone openly stare at him before.

Mia had been insufferable ever since.

It also didn’t help that shortly after their first meeting Tim had started taking his breaks at the little coffee shop. It’s been three weeks, nearly a month and Wayne Enterprise’s CEO went from a bi-weekly regular to an everyday one. (Danny wondered if he should be concerned for the man’s caffeine intake but he only had the one cup every time so probably not.)

Originally, Danny had no plans to talk to Tim. It seemed obvious the guy had a crush on Danny if the constant looks over his laptop were anything to go by and Danny didn’t want to encourage it. Danny barely had time to make new friends let alone start a relationship.

There was also the added problem of what was quickly becoming his bat stalkers. How do you explain to someone that you were being watched by Gotham’s vigilante’s for no reason? (Or worse because he had made a poorly timed sleep-deprived comment.) Danny didn’t think you could without seeming suspicious.

Incidentally though, Danny’s plan went out the window when on a slow afternoon as he was cleaning tables and passed behind Tim. Once he saw the article the other man was reading he snorted.

Bruce Wayne and The Batman? Could This Be A New Romance For Gothams Most Beloved Billionaire?

It was one of those gossip rags that printed things like: Elvis: alive and well and Superman: a mild mannered farm boy? It was all nonsense.

Danny asked Tim why he bothered with the site and Tim responded that he found it amusing to read and that his family had a group chat where they sent the articles to each other.

“Okay. But Batman? Really? Your dad could do so much better.”

“You don’t like Batman?” Tim asked. Danny had slid into the chair next to him and shrugged. “I respect what he does but for as intimidating as he is, he also seems a little silly.”

Tim had given him an incredulous look and Danny hadn’t given him time to ask for an explanation, “and his kids can be just as rude. Like that flying monkey one.” Tim choked on air and Danny politely waited for him to calm down. “Kids? Wait - flying monkey one? Which one -?”

“The one always doing back flips with the blue bird symbol. He’s also a dick that gives hypocritical lectures about fighting.” Danny wouldn’t say he hated the guy but he wasn’t sure how many more lectures he could endure before going ghost and fighting him.

Tim had turned to Danny completely and was watching him with a look of disbelief, “you mean Nightwing?”

“Is that his name? Imma call him Dickwing.”

Tim had started choking again, this time Danny patted his back hoping to help. Yet it was all for not once he kept talking, “I think I’ve only had positive interactions with the one who looks like a walking red flag.”

“Red flag? Do you men hood-?”

“No, although he is definitely a red flag, I mean the other Red one. I’m sorry, I don’t know all these peoples names yet.”

“Danny!” Mia called.

Danny stood and patted Tim, who looked a little shell-shocked, on the shoulder. “Well work calls, see you later Mr. Drake-Wayne.” As he walked away he heard Tim mutter “it’s just Tim.”

(Tim for his part, placed his head in his hands and thought, well at least I have his name now.)

After that first interaction Tim stopped playing the lurker and started to actually talk to Danny and vise versa. Danny never asked if he still had a crush on him, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Unfortunately, their growing friendship had only encoraged Mia as she happily sang “your boyfriend’s here!”

Danny, very maturely, did not stick his tongue out at her. He did however flip her off under the counter like an adult.

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