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stayandot8 · 1 year

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Chapter One: Angels Choking On Their Halos

series summary: this one is a little different than anything else I've written. An AU where the members work in a bar with my MC, no idols among them. It's also going to be on the longer side. The fluffy Chris we know and love is nowhere to be found. He's broodier, moodier, and has jokes up the wazoo. So buckle up, kitties. This one's gonna be good 😏.

inspo: the song by Fall Out Boy.

Genre: i'm not really sure tbh

Relationship type: strangers

Important Contents: bar setting, so mentions of alcohol, chris is a lowkey-highkey dick, swearing as usual

WC: ~9k

Next part I masterlist

This wasn’t the place I wanted to work for the rest of my life. This was just a stepping stone for where I wanted to be, a place to gain more experience. Make money for now, save up for later. It would make things easier in the long run and that was what really mattered. It was all part of my plan. Sometimes, plans had to be changed in order to adjust to the moment’s needs.

This was what I would tell myself every time I would get a rude customer or had trouble with anyone I was working with, which wasn’t often. The family I had made here was enough to keep me going through some of the tougher aspects of life: family passing away, money troubles, even a small period of homelessness. The guys here had taken care of me like I was one of them, which I guess I was. They were all like brothers to me, which was inevitable in the three years we had worked together.

Minho’s dad owned the bar so he had to be here to be groomed to take over, not that he didn’t have the wish or experience to. He had longer dark hair that he often put back when he was behind the line. He worked hard, eager to prove himself to his father that he deserved to own the place someday. He was well on his way too; he was the best cook we had. When he clocked in, it was mostly business, not one for too much joking around in his kitchen. But when the place was closed and the after-shift drinks were flowing, his laugh was one of the loudest in the place. Seungmin was a close second though, more well known simply as Min. He had the most experience of all of them. He loomed over everyone back there, offering critiques when it was warranted while often keeping to himself and taking orders from Minho. He kept his hair short so it wouldn’t hang in his face while he was working. His eyes were my favorite; they got big when he was talking about something he loved (food, baseball). He loved to open up after a few (light) drinks in him after hours, making jokes at the others expense but never taking it too far. He never seemed to run out of material though, so I had to give him credit for his wit.

Changbin was the shorter one, which made him the perfect choice for security and hosting. It was odd how his rounder face and short dark hair accentuated his raging muscles without taking away from the kindness in his face when he wanted to show off his dimple. His uniform of all black was also a huge help. He was never without his favorite platform shoes though, adding another few inches just to give him the small confidence boost he needed to truly complete the intimidation feel he desired. But after the final customer had gone, he was always the first to clock out and head to the bar to grab his one drink for the night then make sure everyone else got home safely. He loved doing that, loved that he could care about others that way. He had created the environment here from scratch, letting everyone get into their patterns and learn each other's ways while we navigated how to work around each other. If anyone had any problems with another employee, they went to him and they talked about it. Changbin always made sure to see both sides while not putting himself in the middle. He was the perfect mediator.

Hyunjin was the lead server, in charge of everyone in the front of house. He was tall and lean, his muscle tone inviting long stares from both men and women alike. And when he noticed those stares, boy did he know how to work you. His ease through life was something to be revered, to be chased after for yourself. The way he seamlessly moved from one subject to another made him a flawless conversationalist, suave and sophisticated. It made people wonder what he was doing in a place like this. People had tried to steal him away, but he was loyal to Minho, his best friend since they were young school boys. He once admitted to me that he actually liked this job, never feeling like he was called to do anything else. He was rarely seen wearing the same thing twice, taking his appearance and his job very seriously as the representative of the place. Not to say he was strict with the people under him, he just liked to appear as no-nonsense. But he very much enjoyed the nonsense, especially when Felix was involved.

Felix was our pastry chef who owned a bakery a couple doors down. He would bring stuff in for us to sell and help out when he could. He wasn’t much for cooking but his baked goods were unbeatable. He came in about three times a week, alternating between dropping stuff off, indulging in his free meals and drinks which he insisted on paying for, or just enjoying the company we provided. His blonde mane was a point of fixation from the other guys, always commenting on how they were jealous and wanting to touch it, play with it. And he would let them because that was just the kind of guy he was. Felix would do anything to make the ones around him happy. He had grown close with the team, joking around and laughing with them in the kitchen. He would get a call from Hyunjin later into the night when he had already closed up shop for the night and be begged to come and help on anything. He picked up skills quickly, running food for us or helping me or Han behind the bar or even picking up a few tables here and there too. He never said no, always said he was happy to do it. His deep register was the first thing everyone noticed, his deep rumble of laughter forcing everyone to pause in wonder and seek out that call of Hades. It worked to his advantage whenever he would ask one of us to help him out with anything he ever needed. I knew if I couldn't say no to that voice and I knew for a fact no one else here could either. His juxtaposition to his bright demeanor was striking to anyone meeting him for the first time. He always had a smile on his face, no matter what. He picked up the spirits of everyone around him. That’s just who he was.

Han was similar to Felix, though not quite as pure goodness. If Felix was love and light, Han was love and chaos. He was the perfect combination for a co-lead bartender. His creativity was useful when trying to plan new drinks for special occasions, holidays, and just messing around at the end of the night. He was the creativity behind our little duo, I was more in charge of execution. The ‘but Han, how are you going to make the glass start smoking after the customer drinks it?’ or ‘ no, Han, we cannot incorporate weed for the April special’ and lots of ‘that’s a fire hazard, Han.’ were all things I said to him at least once a week. The boy loved to set things on fire so Minho put him up front with the liquids, where he could do minimal damage unless someone handed him a lighter. There may or may not have been a small sign that said ‘Do not give Han a lighter’ on the shelves for everyone to see. But he always meant well. His big brown eyes were such a warm invitation that you couldn’t help but smile when he introduced himself, never wanting to return anything but his warm energy when he was near. He was good like that, able to turn on the charm and the looks whenever he wanted to. He had a kind face which made him a good bartender, made him good with people. When he wore his glasses, he had all the ladies swooning. And he ingested information like it was food. He could get invested in any topic under the sun. Anything I threw at him during his training, he would be able to repeat back to me within about ten seconds, enough time for his brain to process said information and learn it. He explained this once to me back in ye olden days when he first started.

“When I’m passionate about something, I learn all I can and retain it. It’s a superpower I’ve always had but only when I really want to know something.” I didn’t question him again. Everytime he would come in with random facts about some mountain range somewhere far off or some type of goldfish he was learning about, he didn’t stop until he found his new fixation. I knew more about Ranchu goldfish than I ever cared to know. Ever.

Jeongin, more affectionately known as Innie, was the other server along with Hyunjin. He flitted through styles like they were nothing. That was actually how he got hired. Hyunjin had commented on his jacket and that was all they talked about the entire interview. I know because I was listening to them while they sat at my bar, voices occasionally rising to the point of harsh glares from myself and Han while we tried to help other patrons. He loved showing off his knowledge of the menu to newer customers, eager to help when they were having trouble. Minho had quizzed him a little to help him learn the details, which Jeongin seemed to appreciate. He took to the job quickly, becoming a favorite amongst some of the regulars, his easy charm contagious. It seemed to be a recurring theme among the front of house staff. Hyunjin had put together his team well.

Saturdays were just about the only day we were all here, minus Felix. The weekend was busy for him down at the bakery so he stayed there for the night, sometimes staying open late to come hang out with us later. Saturdays were always busy, classic date nights for the surrounding area. We were located near a hotel as well so the weekenders often came in either for a drink, for a quick meal or just to get out of their hotel room for a minute or two. The clientele ranged from businessmen there for a meeting with a relaxed environment, families, and couples coming in for a night out or simply away from home. Of course you’d get the occasional outlier: a diplomat wanting to just sit down, high-ranking officials grabbing a quick bite, or rarely, if you listen really closely, you can hear an occasional fight in the back of house. Like tonight.

Minho ran a tight ship back there, vetting almost everyone who dared apply. However, he cared less about who was washing the dishes, which opened the door for some pretty weird people to apply and get the job. He really just needed them to rinse and repeat so it made sense when the current dishwasher up and quit during the middle of a Saturday night dinner rush. I was mid-shake, tickets starting to create a small pile by the printer, when I heard the yelling over the music in the dining room.

“Well what the fuck do you want from me then?!” I stopped, searching the packed out dining room for Hyunjin and readying for damage control. I spotted his dark hair a few hundred feet across the room as he was doing the same, our eyes meeting and readying for the worst. Minho was mostly cool and calm but had quite a temper when provoked, as all cooks did who took pride in their work. But it wasn’t his voice that we could hear. And it wasn’t he who came storming into said dining room with his apron in his hands.

“Fuck this place!” Our former dishwasher threw his apron in my direction, hitting me in the face before I could throw my hands or move to avoid it. Luckily for me, the mysterious stains on it did nothing to my uniform of dark jeans and black button down. Winding through the tables, he flew the doors open and disappeared into the night. Hyunjin was still looking at me, his face now red with rage, both at the scene he had just caused and what had just occurred out of his reach. He started to follow after him but I shook my head at him, having too much to do to entertain the idea of being offended. He wasn’t worth it. Hyunjin seemed to agree, albeit reluctantly, as he continued back to the kitchen to assess the damage. I continued my work, Han coming to my side to ask what he could do to help.

“Hyunjin is going back there probably to take over at the sink. What I need from you is to help Innie on the floor. I can take care of everything back here.” I said as yet another ticket printed someone’s order.

“Are you sure? I can help you get tickets down then go.” He looked concerned. Little did he know this was what it was like before he came. I flashed a smile to ease the worry in his eyes.

“Oh please. I could do this in my sleep. I’ll make you something especially good tonight for hangback if you go now.” I continued smiling to cover the sternness in my voice, slipping into problem-solving mode. “And send Changbin up here when he has a second.” I called after him as he pulled his notepad and pen from his pocket to begin serving Hyunjin’s tables, giving me a thumbs up behind his back.

A flash of lemons, limes, and cherries later, a huffing Changbin appeared at the corner of my bar.

“I could kill that guy, leaving us high and dry in the middle of a rush. Did he throw his apron at you?” Everyone looks so concerned these days…

“In his defense, I don’t think it was intentional. I think he just meant to throw it behind the bar and I just happened to be in the way.”

“Yeah, that sounds like you. Giving people the benefit of the doubt.” That seemed to ease his concern a tad.

“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes at him and smiled, rinsing my cups to make room for new ones. “Could you help bus tables and run food if you have time? Just keep the front phone in your pocket and answer if it rings. I’m putting us on a temporary hold. We’ll check in with the back in about twenty minutes to see how they are.” He nodded, ever the loyal soldier. He even saluted me and ran back to the host stand to grab said phone and do exactly as I had asked, the kitchen doors swinging as he entered.

I spotted Jeongin at the end of my counter standing at our computer for putting in orders. Once I had a moment, I stepped over to him, spotting the slight tremor in his hand as he pressed button after button, glancing from his notepad back to the screen and back down again.

“Innie.” I singsonged to him, trying to perk him up as best I could. He smiled but still didn’t look up at me. “Are you doing okay? Do you need any help? I sent Han on the floor to help you with tables so you wouldn’t feel as swamped. Changbin is helping to run food as well so don’t worry about that. Just worry about keeping people happy, okay? Which shouldn't be hard to do since you’re just so darn cute.” I leaned on the counter to stare up at him, hoping to catch his eye so I could be sure the gleam returned. I got him grinning and blushing which was confirmation enough.

“I’m okay for now, thank you. I’m about to put in for some chilled shots, okay? This table is hell-bent on celebrating something and I couldn’t for the life of me tell you what it was.” I laughed along with him as he gathered his stuff to walk away again. I called out to him.

“I’m here if you need help!”

“I know!” He flashed me another grin as he held the kitchen door open for Hyunjin, who was carrying about eight plates in his arms, then disappeared behind the swinging door.

“How come you never offer to help me, huh?” Hyunjin had shouted as he was walking past me to deliver the food.

“Because you’re magical. You need no help.” He half-heartedly glared at me, smirking at the same time.

“You’ve got tickets again.” Shit. That damn printer…

***

“Han, I swear if you break a bottle, it’s coming out of your paycheck!” Minho was pointedly staring at Han as he tried some new trick he had learned on Youtube the night before. It involved throwing a bottle and that was when I stopped listening to shut it down. Han, ever the rebel, chose to do it anyway. But now he was doing it in front of Minho, who now that the doors were closed, was the young boy he could be without his mask of professionalism. Surrounded by friends instead of coworkers now, he could relax and enjoy the shenanigans from the safety of the bar.

I heard this being shouted from the kitchen, where Hyunjin, Changbin, and I were gathering our food for the night.. I grabbed a to-go tray full of chips and salsa for the table so as not to create more dishes for Hyunjin who had been stuck there all night long. Hyunjin grabbed some cheese from the walk-in fridge like a mouse, and Changbin was chomping down on a steak that was cooked too long for the customer’s request, so it was put aside for him. We gathered what we needed and returned to the bar where everyone was waiting for us, seated in booths and bar stools. Han had decided against his internet trick, settling for being the bartender for the night.

“Okay! What is everyone having?” He asked the room, steadfast in his decision. As orders were placed, I put the chips down in front of Jeongin and sat between him and Hyunjin, Seungmin on his other side and Minho next to Jeongin. Changbin moved from his booth to the bar when his food was finished. He hated being left out.

“I will have whatever that crazy brain can think of that will get me good and drunk so I can forget this stupid night ever happened. I’m off tomorrow, right Minho?” Hyunjin looked expectantly at him. Minho shrugged nonchalantly.

“Whatever. Hey, where’s my scotch?!” He directed that at Han, who got to it immediately, cracking jokes about impatience while he poured the brown liquid into a paper cup. “What, no glass?” Minho jutted out his lip in a pout.

“Do you want to clean it?” Hyunjin retorted, the amusement gone from his face. His fingers were pruned from the constant submersion in water; Seungmin hid the rubber gloves from him. Minho nodded in understanding and took a sip from his cup. Han started pouring different liquids into one cup with a dash of juice at the top and handed it to Hyunjin. He took a sip and coughed. Hard. “Damn, dude. I would have asked for a Long Island if I wanted one.”

“You asked for something that would get you good and drunk so there you go. You don’t like it, give it back. Who’s next?” Without any of us seeing or hearing him, Felix emerged from the kitchen doors.

“I’ll take something fruity please!” His signature smile was plastered on his face as we all greeted him. Jeongin started telling him about what had happened with our former coworker when Han dropped off something pink for the both of them.

“And he just walked out in the middle of it! All of my tables were so confused, they had no idea he worked here. I tried to just laugh it off but my heart stopped for a second.”

“Good riddance, I say. I never liked him anyways.” Minho took another sip.

“Then why did you hire him?” My question was amplified when the others asked the same thing. Han dropped off Changbin’s chilled vodka and Seungmin’s beer.

“We needed a dishwasher.” Minho replied simply. “I’ve got someone in mind to replace him, don’t worry Hyunjin. He’ll be in by the time you come in on Monday.” Hyunin nodded his approval and took as big of a swig as he could muster from his Long Island.

“And what are you having, gorgeous?” Han appeared in front of me, batting his eyelashes. I flicked him on his forehead lightly just because I could. He barely moved and his smile only grew, used to my loving taps.

“I’ll take something with that new blueberry vodka we just got. I think it would be good with-” I was cut off as Han ran over to the shelf where it was.

“I got it! I’ve been thinking about what to do with it all night. See how you like this. I think it’s perfect.” Watching Han work was something to behold. The look of concentration was so intense, you didn’t want to break it. Seeing him focus on one task at a time happened so rarely, it was a wonder he ever got anything done at all.

“Now you owe me a drink if my memory serves me. I’ll take something light please, I’d actually like to be able to drive home tonight.” He rounded the edge of the bar to take my seat as we switched places. I turned my back to the group now excitedly chattering about sports and whatnot to stare at the bottles I got to choose from. After thinking, my lips pursed, I chose something that didn’t take much alcohol, granting him his request. As I switched our drinks to grab mine, I strolled through the back of the bar, my second home, to eavesdrop on all the conversations going on. Smiling to myself, proud of the job by the team in front of me, this family I had made.

***

“Does someone want to tell me why I'm here on my day off?” Hyunjin, decked in casual clothes and sunglasses to ‘hide his eyes from the terror of the sun’ and a drink in front of him. Seungmin was beside him in similar attire having just arrived himself. After the last customer had left the lunch rush, Minho shut the doors behind them and locked them, turning the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’ and leaving the seven of us from the night before sitting once again at the bar in anticipation. Minho called staff meetings only when needed and it seemed whatever situation he deemed necessary, it was rarely good.

“Take off those glasses and I’ll tell you.” Minho replied as he approached us once more, joining me behind the bar to face everyone head on with a signature smirk. Hyunjin scoffed as he refused, grumbling to Seungmin beside him. “Okay losers. I found a new dishwasher. It’s a guy I’ve known for a while so he shouldn’t be any trouble. He’s fallen on some hard times so I thought it might be good for him to come work with us. Everyone is going to be on their best behavior, right?”

“Why, are we meeting him now?” I asked simply, not sure what this big meeting was for.

“Yes actually. He’s staying at the hotel next door ad he’s waiting out back for me to bring him in. I called you all here to meet him and to make sure everyone was on the same page. Yeah?” Minoh widened his eyes just enough to stare everyone directly in the eye to see their resolution for peace and calm before he was satisfied and exited through the kitchen doors to fetch whoever this guy was, wiping his hands on his apron along the way. The rest of us looked around at each other, slightly scared of what he could possibly be bringing in.

“This couldn’t be said in a text?” Hyunin said under his breath.

“No proof, no trail.” Seungmin replied. We all nodded.

Minho returned in a matter of seconds, the mystery guest in tow. He wasn’t entirely short but he wasn’t exactly tall either, his dark hair curly and short and poking out of his black cap. It hung just short of his eyes, dusting his brows with every movement. His eyes were a dark brown, but they were not what I was paying attention to. No, his body was what drew my attention first. His shirt had the sleeves cut off so his muscular arms and peeks of his torso were on full display, cut so low that his chest was almost fully visible to anyone who wanted to take a peek. Which I might have done already when he turned to the side to shake hands with everyone. He greeted everyone with a small smile, chatting for a second with everyone before turning to the next. He introduced himself as Chris. Minho would occasionally call him Chan, making the joke that they were different people. His permanent, shy smile had dropped when he made eye contact with me, drinking in my features like he had all day to do so. He shook his head, trying to get an imaginary fly off of his face and nodded at me. That nod echoed through me as I took him, all of him, in. It was like a bell had gone off in my own mind. For trouble or danger or something else entirely, I didn’t know. But it was all I could hear until Minho’s voice carried through the piercing in my head as I found his eyes again.

“She’s been with me the longest so she’s almost like second in charge without having the title of it. She’s the best around, you won’t find any better than her.” Minho’s proud smile should have comforted me but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had been slighted by him somehow. Changbin interrupted this introduction to ask Minho about a reservation for tonight so his back was turned to us.

“The best he’s got?” He said with the slightest trace of mocking, his eyebrow raised in questioning.

“Of course. I’ve been in this industry long enough to know my way around just about everything.”

“Someone sounds cocky.” Well that’s rude.

“I know what I’m worth.” At least I sounded cooler than I felt. I crossed my arms in front of me as I hardened my features at him, daring him to challenge me. He shrugged his shoulders, brushing me off and turning back to Minho.

“Come on, I’ll show you around.” Minho guided Chris away and led him to the kitchen, Seungmin following close behind to show him everything Minho would deem unimportant. I followed them with my eyes until I could be sure they were out of earshot.

“Can you believe that? The nerve of that guy.” Everything in me felt like yelling at whoever was closest, Hyunjin being the closest target. His face was blank.

“What happened? I wasn’t paying attention.” I sighed, resigned to just let it go until it reared its ugly head again.

“Nothing. Nevermind.”

“Well, since that was it, I’m going to resume my day off activities. I’ll see you troublemakers tomorrow.” Hyunjin rose from his barstool and slid his glasses back over his eyes. He turned his head to face me as he leaned on the bar, leaning his head in closer to me as if to tell me a secret. “I saw that look you gave him. Play nice. I don’t think I can handle more new people coming in and ruining my rhythm.” He feigned brushing his hair off his shoulders. I scoffed at him.

“What rhythm is that?” He trailed away to the door.

“The rhythm of me tolerating those who are already here!” He called from the front doors, halfway open from his outstretched arm. With his other, he pointed a finger at poor Han who was oblivious, gave me an annoyed look, and disappeared through the glass doors.

What look? I wondered to myself. I didn’t give him any specific look… Did I? I shook my head at the thought and continued my prep work for Han’s shift, my mind flitting between thoughts of the new guy and what his problem was between slices of limes and lemons, listening to the chatter behind me grow as the restaurant doors opened for the dinner rush to flood in.

I was gathering the normal clutter for a new table. Napkins piled on top of the extra plates and the only thing left to grab was silverware. But the rack was empty. The only thing to do would be to ask the dishwasher to immediately do a load for some clean ones. This would be my own test to see if Chris could be a professional during service hours. My approach was always to be nice until they hit strike three. He was only at strike one so niceties it was. I pushed the swinging door to find Minho with his back to me, reading a ticket to himself. I marched over to the sink where my target awaited, one headphone in his ear. I tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey Chris, we need more silverware up front. We’re all out.” I said plainly. I waited, watching the back of his head for him to turn to acknowledge me. He didn’t. I tapped him harder. “Hey Chris!” He finally turned, confusion evident.

“What, why are you trying to scare someone who’s working with heavy machinery?”

“I tapped you already and you said nothing. And an industrial dishwasher is hardly heavy machinery. We’re out of silverware up front.” I said just as dry as I had before. I turned to walk away, satisfied with myself. I saw out of the corner of my eye that he hadn’t moved so I stopped to turn back and see that he was still staring at me. “What?” I snipped.

“I didn’t hear a question. Or a certain magic word.” His eyes widened in fake innocence, showcasing for anyone on the outside to see this as playful banter. I knew better, but I had to let him win. He had something I needed and I was ever the chess player in knowing that sacrifices for the short were better for the long run. I took a deep breath and put on my best fake smile.

“Chris, do you mind terribly washing some silverware and bringing it out to us so we can serve our customers and make some damn money? Please.” I batted my eyelashes at him, signaling that this was not over. Not by a long shot.

“Of course I can.” He responded with an equally fake smile. “I’ll bring it out as soon as it’s ready.” He turned back to his sink, grabbing the next bucket of dishes and pulling out the silverware to separate it. I was surprised I wasn’t literally seeing red, my hands were shaking beside me, clenched into fists. I wiped my sweaty palms on my work jeans, desperate for some control over my own body again. Who the fuck was he to question me? Twice in one day too? I think not. I didn’t know how but I would get my revenge one way or another. One day…

But the question was really very simple. Why did I let someone who did not know me get to me so quickly? It had been less than a day and he had already worked his way under my skin, churning the fire I didn’t know was inside. I stopped in the hallway leading to the dining room, taking solace in the darkness and muted noises. I let these thoughts come and go, trying to let them wash over me. If this was how he was, he wouldn’t last very long. Someone would see through him, right? I shook my head and took several breaths, willing my heartbeat to steady out before I went back to my tables.

A slower dinner service than usual allowed Han to work his usual charms on the few lucky ones to sit at his bar. His nights to take full control were almost every other night starting on Sundays, leaving me to either have the days off or work the floor if I needed the money. It was fun to watch him in his element, the easy conversation flowing so naturally with perfect strangers it made anyone wonder if they actually knew each other. I was by the POS station at the edge, counting my tickets to ensure I had them all as the night was dying down. The remaining tables belonged to Jeongin so I was free to sit at the bar until everyone had gone.

I hadn’t seen much of Chris tonight other than the one instance, every other trip I made to the kitchen he seemed to be too occupied with a conversation with Minho or involved in his work to pay much attention to anything else. I was still deciding if I wanted to address his weird behavior or drop it entirely. Until…

I had remembered that I had bought something special for myself and Han after a particularly hard shift weeks prior and it had arrived that morning. I hopped off my stool to grab it from my bag in the office, passing by Chris on his phone in the hallway. His brows were drawn together in concentration and his typing only got more furious after I passed by. I noted it for later dissection.

I returned to Han at the bar with the item behind my back. After he finished, he saw me trying to keep any indication that I was holding a surprise off of my face as best I could. His eyes squinted as he drew nearer, caution written all over his features.

“Whatcha got there, sparky?” He finally spoke as he folded his arms over the counter, leaning his full weight on them as a smile crept over. I whipped out what was behind my back, a rhinestone covered shaker I had found. Han’s eyes got wide with excitement.

“You don’t have to use it obviously if it’s too ‘girly’ for you,” I used my fingers for the air quotes. “But if you want to use it, I’m going to wash it and put it back there. Just remember to hand wash it, don’t send it back to dish. I worry about the stones chipping off or something.” I couldn’t help my smile as Han took it from my hands to examine it, eyes wide. That’s when I felt more than saw another presence coming up behind me.

“What is that?” I could hear the disgust Chris was trying to mask under the layers of feigned curiosity. “I could see it from the kitchen.”

“It’s our new shaker, courtesy of yours truly.” I turned to stare directly into the sun to find his eyes staring right back at me. His brows raised in surprise.

“Oh you bought it for this place? I should call you Sparkles.” He chuckled at his own joke then paused for a moment, his eyes going distant as he watched Han decide where to put our new jewel. “In fact, I think that’s your name from now on.” He said just low enough for only me to hear, giving me a smirk and shuffling off back to the kitchen before I could protest. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to Han, proudly displaying our new shaker to anyone who would listen.

An hour later, the floor empty and chairs on top of tables, Jeongin was mopping the stone floor as part of his closing duties. He had drawn the short straw so it was his final duty before he could clock out officially and join the rest of us who had worked that night at our usual spot at the bar. Everyone, sans Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Felix who had been dying to meet the new guy, was waiting for the blonde baker to make an appearance before fully getting into the swing of the evening. Changbin was seated at the end, Minho beside him and fully engaged in the conversation. That left myself, Han, and Chris who was sitting with an empty seat between us. Han was in his usual place behind the bar and asking those who had clocked out what they wanted to drink down at the opposite end. I was busy looking at my phone, catching up on missed notifications while Chris was letting his eyes roam around to take in his surroundings. They landed on Han a few feet away, chatting and laughing with the guys.

“He’s good at that, isn't he.” Not a question. An observation of the world he had waltzed into. More to himself than to me, but I saw my window of opportunity to be the bigger person and I took it. I watched Han do what he did best while mixing different liquids for the men in front of him.

“Yes he is. He’s got a natural knack for people. It’s what makes him good at his job.” He paused, like he wasn’t expecting me to answer, then nodded once in acknowledgement. Then he turned his dark eyes to me and waited until I looked at them to ask his next question.

“And what makes you good at yours, Sparkles? Do you also have a ‘natural knack for people’?” A gentle mix of curiosity and a slight mocking tone in his words. It took me by surprise that he was asking me anything at all.

“No, it’s my ability to judge a person’s character within seconds of meeting them. I knew who Minho was when he introduced himself in primary school.”

“Minho isn’t very hard to read.” He cocked an eyebrow at me.

“Oh I beg to differ.” I cocked one right back. “He’s a master at saying one thing and meaning another. It took me years before he moved away to try and decipher his secret language. You, however…”

He sat back expectantly, a bored expression plastered on his face, waiting for me to dazzle him as my nickname implied. As I drew my pause longer, he shook his head slowly, impatiently at me.

“Yes?

I studied him a moment longer, not quite ready to give up his attention so quickly. I wanted it for some reason, whether it was because I had earned it or some other deep seeded reason to be explored by a therapist. But I wanted his attention for as long as I could keep it. There was something captivating about it. I realized I had been silent for a second too long before I finally spoke.

“You like to tease because it gets a reaction out of people. It keeps their attention on you and you love it. Maybe you didn’t get enough attention as a child or someone took it all away from you. Either way.” I watched his face fall from blank ignorance to stone cold. Nail on the head. “Whatever your parents did, it’s time to forgive them and grow up. You don’t need attention to make people like you.” I felt my smugness flood from my brain straight to my smile as I turned back to my phone. “It’s like I know you already.”

“I promise you don’t.” The quickness of his response snapped my attention back to him. His expression hardened in moments, leaving me with no retort. “I suggest you not parade around claiming to know things you don’t know the first thing about. Hiding behind knowledge you think you have doesn’t suit you. It makes you look ignorant. I would suggest you try to get to know people before assuming things about them. Especially me.” I no longer wanted to be the subject of his attention. I felt the blush involuntarily creep up my cheeks as I tried and begged my eyes to look anywhere but at him. “Let me tell you what I know about you, hm? You’re so buried in your work that you don’t even see what’s happening around you. Take that away and what’s left? Friends? Everyone you know seems to work here. Family? I know by the way you treat your coworkers that you don’t have any. You don’t wear your emotions on your sleeve, you wear them on your face. I can read you like a book.” He had moved off of his seat in the midst of his little speech to lean closer to my face, almost spitting on me several times. He gave a half smile and turned to walk away. I found my brain and my words just in the knick of time.

“I’ve finally got my nickname for you.” I willed my voice to keep from quivering.

“Oh yeah?” He turned back to me, still not far.

“Puck.”

“Puck? Like a hockey puck?” “Like from Shakespeare. He’s a character in A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

“Ah. And why is that relevant?”

“Because he’s a donkey. And you’re an ass.”

I grabbed my bag and bolted for the door, ignoring the shouts of protest and questions about where I was going. I felt someone bump into my shoulder as I ran, not bothering to turn to see Felix before shouting an apology and running to my car before anyone saw my tears.

***

“I just don’t understand, Felix. He’s known me less than a day and he already hates me? Tell me how that makes sense.” Sitting across from Felix in his own bakery was my favorite way to spend my days off. He had made such a cozy place to call his own. Cases of baked goods lined the sides with the counter facing the glass front doors. The blue walls had cute pictures of animals all over them, ranging from cats to dogs to bunnies and ferrets to baby chicks and wolf pups to piglets running around in grass fields or playing in mud. I wondered where he got them all from but I hadn’t dared ask. There were fake vines and flowers hanging from the ceiling, creating the feel of being in a pastel forest dream. White steel chairs and tables were spread across the small room and just outside the doors, people enjoying his products were seen constantly with smiles and laughter.

A yellow plate with the wrapper from his newest cupcake flavor, Cherry Lime Surprise, in front of me, Felix stopped me mid-rant.

“And what exactly did he say to you again?” I scoffed.

“Ha! Which time? When he questioned my abilities just after Minho told him I was the best he had, not only insulting me but Minho too? Or when he made me stop and say please when we needed more silverware in the middle of service when I had other shit to do? Or, my personal favorite, when he called me a friendless workaholic with no family and my head up my own ass? Which time are you referring to, Felix?” I had to scoff again, lost in my own thoughts. “It’s ridiculous. He doesn’t even know me. What makes him think he can pass such definite judgment on me?”

“He seemed to be in a sour mood after you left last night. He apologized that he wasn’t in a happier mood. Said he had a bad night and had to leave shortly after you did. The other guys say he’s fine, he jokes around with them and everything. Minho said he was a childhood friend.” “Yeah well so am I. I know he would believe me if I told him but I also know he would tell me to deal with it myself. And I don’t want to have to run to him if I ever have a problem with someone he hires.”

“You literally never have.” Felix gave his best comforting smile, making his eyes sparkle.

“Maybe not. But I don’t want to start now.”

“Why is he bothering you so much? He doesn’t know you so why does his opinion matter?” Now that was a thinker.

“Well, if I’m going to see him so often working there, I thought we could get along. Be friends even. Or at least friendly. But with the way he’s acting after only knowing me a day, I don’t see that happening.” I pushed the plate away towards him, nudging him that I wanted another. I widened my eyes to plead, but he saw right through me and grabbed the plate.

“You have to pay for this one!” He called to me. I followed him up there to do exactly that. “And don’t over tip me! You’re paying too much already.”

“Try and stop me! It’s my way of paying you for listening to me rant about nothing.” I responded as he retrieved my delicious dessert from its case and placed it on my plate to hand to me. I turned the device back to him and grabbed my plate to run away back to my table before he could yell at me. He looked incredulously at the device then back up to me, his mouth agape. I shrugged with my most mischievous smile. “If you tell me it’s too much, I’m just going to double it next time.” I watched his shoulders move up and down dramatically as he threw his head back to look at the ceiling. He stared for a second before coming around the counter to sit in his white chair.

“Anyways. As I was saying.” He narrowed his eyes at me, waiting for me to take a bite before continuing. “If you have to work with him, you only have a few options. The first would be to try and make peace. Remind him you have to work together and see if you can compromise enough to be civil and only talk to him when you need to.” My top lip curled in disgust as I swallowed.

“Or?” I popped the last bit of bliss into my mouth, intent on savoring it while I could.

“Or you could avoid him at all costs. Don’t speak to him. Just ignore him if he tries to talk to you about anything other than work. But I highly advise against this. You do work together now and running away from your problems never works. You know that.”

“Unfortunately, I do. But if I’m going to avoid him effectively, he needs to stay in the kitchen. I won’t bother him if he doesn’t bother me.” Felix took my empty plate from me as I rose to leave, gathering my stuff.

“If that’s how you want to play it, then I’ll be here waiting for it to all go to hell.” He gave me another one of those signature smiles. Every time he flashed me one of those, I knew that everything would be okay. That’s what made Felix such a good friend. He gave good advice but would also be there for you when you ignored it. No matter how much he teased, he never said ‘I told you so’ or judged you when something was your fault. He never threw it in your face when you were wrong, he just patiently waited for you to realize it. He was a good friend, better than I deserved. His sultry voice broke me of my thoughts. “If you want to start your avoiding tactic, now is a great time. He’s across the street on his way over.” I whipped my head around to see Chris dressed in all black with a backpack on his shoulder and indeed headed this way. “He asked if he could come see the place so I told him to come by.”

“Shit.” It was the fastest I had gathered the rest of my things, cursing myself for spreading out so elaborately.

“Use the back door.” Felix, you angel. I told him so as I rushed onto the street outside.

***

“Doesn’t it liven up the place? I think it does.” I stepped back to admire my handiwork. I had lined the shelves of liquor with tiny christmas lights, equipped with a remote to change the colors to anything possible. Changbin was watching me struggle with the different sticky strips to hang them, not offering any helpful suggestions whatsoever but admiring the job once I was done.

“I like it! Can you turn them purple? What about blue?”

“I can do better than that. Watch this.” I pressed the multicolored button on the remote and the lights turned from red to orange to yellow all the way down the rainbow and back again, on a constant loop. I proudly watched Changbin’s face gleam with pride as he watched my lights flicker.

“Yah! I’m so proud of you. You did it all by yourself.” He beamed at me, marveling at them as he walked backwards to the kitchen to discuss tonight’s dinner service with Seungmin. After watching the lights for a little while longer, I pulled out my cutting board and fruits to cut for myself.

I was ready to put my plan into action when Chris walked up to see the commotion.

“I guess Sparkles was the right name for you after all.” He flashed me a quick half-smile. A blink and I would have missed it. “It looks good. Brightens it up.” And then he was gone as quickly as he had come.

What the fuck was that?!

This back and forth was making my head spin. Before I could think too much about it other than my initial reaction, Minho came in through the locked front doors. Which was odd because Tuesdays were his day off, his jeans hanging loosely around his hips and his white tshirt showing off his toned muscles.. His eyes searched around the room for something and landed on me. He nodded, signaling that he was headed for me.

“Why are you here? Don’t you have some expensive wine tasting to attend or something to improve your restaurant?” I gave a sickeningly sweet smile, flashy all of my teeth for him.

“Haha, very funny.” He narrowed his eyes and grimaced. “Where’s Chris?”

“Probably in the back.” I waved my hand in the direction I implied.

“Good. Don’t move. I want to talk to you both.” Uh Oh…

I quite literally couldn’t move, my brain jumping from thought to thought and never quite landing on a reason why he would want to talk to the both of us. Had Felix told him everything? No, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t betray my trust like that. Minho came back with Chris, an apron tied around his waist and wiping his hands off with a towel before slinging it over his shoulder.

“What’s up, Minho?” I couldn’t help my suspicious tone.

“I want you to train Chris behind the bar starting Monday next week.” He bore into my eyes, daring me to protest. I knew better. Chris had moved his attention to me, a smug smile spreading across his features.

“Why?” Questioning was okay.

“We were talking a few nights ago about how he wanted to learn mixology and there’s no one better to learn from. Chris, before you start to protest, keep in mind that she’s the best in the business when it comes to training. She taught Han everything he knows. If you want to learn, you learn from her.” He turned to me, wiping the smug look off my face when I heard his tone from the first word.

“And you. You can teach anyone, I know you can. You can whip anyone into shape, I've seen it. Give him a chance and you might just see the potential that I see. If he wants to learn, why shouldn’t you be the one to teach him?” He leaned back pushing off the counter, smiling to himself. Like he was proud of making us work together. Like he hadn’t just given me the biggest test of my patience I had no intention of acing a minute ago.

“Oh by the way,” he turned, clearly headed for the back door to the parking lot. “Both of your jobs depend on it. So play nice.” I could swear I just saw devil horns poking through his hair just then as he smirked and twirled on his heel. He sauntered away and whistled some unknown tune, seemingly unaware of the bomb he had just dropped in front of me, its faint ticking in time with his retreating footsteps.

“Can I call you Professor Sparkles?” He had leaned in closer so I could hear his whisper. The urge to slap the smugness off of his face was heavy. My hand may have twitched. On its own, of course. The smile he was sporting was dangerous. Time to throw caution to the wind. I leaned in as well, not wanting anyone else to hear what I was saying.

“Alright Puck. You wanna play?” I leaned in an inch closer, my lips tugging at the corners. “Then let’s play.”

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chickenstrangers · 11 months

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Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @sollucets and @telomeke! 🥰

Credit also: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

Favorite Thai QL - favorite show is a very close tie between Moonlight Chicken and Bad Buddy. I love them both most ardently. I suppose we'll go with Bad Buddy, depending on the definition of QL, but I am back in my Moonlight Chicken feels these days and it is an all time favorite show

Favorite Pairing - I think I have to say Pat and Pran, their dynamic is incredible, they're funny, they're heartbreaking, I love how they get each other

Most Underrated Actor - none of the women get enough recognition. Right now I have been loving Mild, View, and Fah's acting. (also not saying he's underrated at all but I think people underestimate Earth as a comedic actor, and I am once again asking people to watch Mama Gogo, which has another of my favorite actresses, Cris)

Favorite Character - Wen is everything to me (surprising no one)

Favorite Side Character - I love Pa from BBS so much (favorite if I'm not limited to Thailand is Hashimoto from Kieta Hatsukoi, she's one of the best friends in a QL period) (also really enjoying the uncles in My Ride)

Favorite Scene - Moonlight Chicken episode 6 part 1 Jim and Wen talking at the harbour. It is such a beautiful shot scene, it's the scene where they start to really understand each other and take a step forward, and talk through the barriers in their relationship but connect over their shared sense of loneliness.

A close second is the My School President episode 11 scene on the mountain where the friends get mad at each other and frustrated by their loss but work through it together with so much care. Also have to shoutout Bad Buddy and Pat playing the xylophone, the raw emotion behind it really gets me. Also the scene in Not Me where Black comes back and tricks Sean wrecked me, the acting was so good. Also----

Favorite Line - A lot of Moonlight Chicken lines ring through my head constantly, but probably "I can live anywhere, but it's damn lonely."

Most Anticipated - looking forward to OF of course but really really really excited for 23.5 now that they've started posting about it. I can't wait to see more queer female characters on these shows

Healthiest Relationship - Tinn and Gun? Pat and Pran? I like how they work through things together

Most Toxic Relationship - there are many, but I'm reinterpreting this as a relationship that I actually care about and like, which is Alan and Wen. They are obviously not suited, but I think what we see of their relationship is so fascinating, exploring the pain of one person falling out of love, and the desperation and loneliness inherent in their messy situation

Guilty Pleasure - maybe Tonhon Chonlatee, which, for all its many problems, was a mostly quite enjoyable watch mainly because of Khaotung and Neo's characters

Most Underrated - He's Coming to Me, historically quite underrated but I'm seeing a lot more love for it here recently which is wonderful. If I can talk about shows outside of Thai QL, I would love to see more people watching/talking about Mama Gogo, Kieta Hatsukoi, and My Tooth, Your Love

tagging (no pressure) @dudeyuri @ranchthoughts @icouldhyperfixatehim @loveongsa @lurkingshan @kattahj and anyone else who wants to play! (feel free to ignore if you were already tagged or don't feel like it)

#tag game #meant to do this last week but got distracted #notice how i am incapable of giving one answer for a question?

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peachymilkandcream · 7 months

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Hi, I really liked the trapped au can you do a part 2 please :)

Levi x Evelyn AU -> Trapped Part 2

(A/N: I'm so glad you guys liked the little AU oneshot I came up with! Watching Christmas movies while writing this might be a bit too cheerful but here we are XD This will probably be a tad short but here's part 2!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon/dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm sysndrome, violence, mind breaking, heavy on the misogyny, etc.

===========================================

Marriage to this man was hell and that was putting it mildly, Levi was a cruel man who only cared about his own whims and desires. Anything and everything that crossed his path were little more than possessions, to bend to his will or break. This was all that she was, an object of his obsession, love and affection were words outside of his vocabulary, replaced by lust and aggression.

Evelyn quickly learned that Levi really meant it when he said women were meant to be seen and not heard. The first time she had done so by asking him if he minded if she went to bed was met with a belt beating. Her back still had the stinging welts from the many blows he covered her pale skin with. He had told her that she wouldn't dare disturb him again if he taught her a proper lesson.

She also came to learn that intimacy was not to be denied for any reason. Even though the one time she had a high fever he had dominated her, saying it was her own fault for getting sick. Denials of his affection were met with missing her next meal and a beating. Levi was not meant to be questioned or denied anything, what he wanted he got. Even periods were vile and disgusting, a personal insult since he hadn't gotten her pregnant. Each one caused cruelty and anger, he became irritable and even more entitled.

Evelyn confessed all this and more to her mother, taking silent notice of her brand new dress and jewelry, Levi had kept his promise of taking good care of her, she had more money than she knew what to do with.

"You shut your whining mouth Evelyn." She replied to her daughters worries. "If Levi found out you were complaining about your marriage he could find some reason to divorce you and then we would be disgraced and destitute!"

"But what about the beatings- the-"

"All part of marriage." She interjected. "Your place is to satisfy him and give him children, that's all you're good for. If he beats you then you're not being a good enough wife for him, that's your fault."

Talking to someone else was useless, her mother had all but threatened her blatantly to tell Levi. That was a death sentence, he might get so upset she ended up dead and buried in the basement. She had to bury things down, always bury things down.

Everyone commented how lucky she was, a fine match, a fine man. Girls her age eyed with her envy as they saw her on his arm, wishing it was them. She wished it was them instead, those girls being the one wearing layers of makeup to hide unseemly bruises, those girls being the ones who walked around dripping of him. What a perfect life she had.

==========================================

It wasn't so bad, her whole life reduced to watching his children and seeing to his needs. Evelyn watched as her two sons played in the yard, barely five years old and they looked so much like their father. Beautiful boys with jet black hair and the same grey eyes, aggressive and demanding, wanting their mother's attention but knowing father came first. They were just like him.

She rubbed her pregnant stomach lovingly, she had a feeling this one would be a girl. The thought made a small smile come to her face, Levi wouldn't be like most other fathers, this she knew, their daughter wouldn't be a bargaining chip for more, he would mold her into everything Evelyn was not, strong. All of them would be in awe of their father and be an extra set of eyes against their mother, seeing if she ever betrayed his trust.

Her mind came out of it's daydream when the two children ran towards their approaching father, he was home already from work, patting both of their heads affectionately as he stepped on the porch. There was a hidden lust in his eyes as he looked over her pregnant form again, she knew he loved seeing her with child, when she was so round she could barely move. This, fetish, made him treat her with more affection, like now when he kissed her head.

"Hello my dear."

She kissed his cheek obediently. "Welcome home husband."

What a perfect life she had.

#attack on titan #break me slowly #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi x oc #levi x reader #shingeki no kyojin #yandere levi #yandere levi ackerman #yandere levi x reader #oneshot requests

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notyour-valentine · 9 months

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Hi Val, it's the 10th anniversary of Peaky Blinders and I'm wondering what you think are the top 10 fashion moments?

Oh wow - Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention, and asking my opinion (why I cannot know because I am anything but a fashion icon haha) but thank you anyways!

Peaky Blinders is such an interesting show to view from a fashion standpoint, as despite its MANY missteps, there is so much it and to the story, from S1 Tommy adding his collar to his shirt, to opera gloves and diamonds. I'll try my best to answer, though

Number 10 - Lizzie's orange dress

This dress just screams to be, we're in the 1930s now. Given the cultural fascination with the 1920s, and the devastation of the 1940s with the war, the 1930s seem like an era that, depending on the story is either an extension of the 1920s in aesthetic and fashion or already a prelude with 1940s fashion and style. This dress just screams 1930s to be, which is an incredibly nice touch for a show that sometimes plays fast and loose with the evolution of fashion

Number 9 - Polly's portrait gown

Unlike May's "1920s red dress her mother wore to her presentation to Queen Victoria" (NOT) and Grace's 1940s green suit and 2010s hair this fit the rough time period it was in and was a contrast to the 'current' fashions. Polly's evolution with the dress, from insecurity, to confidence, to heartbreak was such an interesting plot device and she simply looks fabulous.

Number 8 - Esme at the Foundation gala

We've seen all women go through some sort of fashion transformation, even if it is simply due to their financial means, but Esme in S3, despite the money the family has, still seems most true to her style, despite Tommy's attempts to be polished and new. It speaks to her strength of character.

Number 7 - Ada's wedding dress

The visual contrast of the greyish houses, street and sky, and Ada running through it in her white dress and veil was not just so pretty, but her carelessness was so endearing. She didn't care if she got the dress dirty at all, plus she looked absolutely lovely.

Number 6 - May's Trousers

With most women enjoying and trying out extravagant fashion, she is such a palate cleanser when she is in her riding gear

Number 5 - May's hat, cloak and confidence

Compared to other Peaky women, May's colourscheme is often more subdued, with more browns, greys and blacks, but she looks fabulous every time she is on screen with the effortless confidence no money can by, and probably the kind that is very hard to learn. She is a scene stealer in each and every one of them.

Number 4 - Grace's peacock dress

Grace profits from being the favourite. New money Grace has some...interesting choices of fashion, but this one is just a work of art. The greenish-turqoiuse blue is a nice contrast to Annabell Wallis' features and the embroidery is simply stunning. This has a strong case for being the single most stunning costume in the show.

Number 3 - Lizzie overall

I know this isn't technically one single moment, but since Lizzie is one of the characters, if not the character with the greatest arch and development, we see her fashion evolve with it from poverty and severely limited means, to being able to afford more expensive clothes after her employment by Tommy as his secretary and being so proud of them (that Derby dress). From seasons 2-4 her fashion is almost a symbol of how the company moves up. And then in 5-6 she is on top of the financial-economic ladder with near infinite funds.

Number 2 - Tatiana and her Aunt

I loved loved loved the fact that there was a contrast between the choice of gowns between the two women that, despite being in the same social and economical bracket, represent their generations. With the Russian aristocrats, it is a greater choice as fashion was near non-existant during the war and it ended with the traumatic loss of their social status. While her aunt still clings to those norms and ideals, and fashions, Tatiana wears more modern, post - Tsarist Russia cuts. Maybe I'm interpreting too much into it, but with there being hardly any notable generational difference between how Polly and how Ada dresses, this was great fun to see

Number 1 - the Peaky Blinders Effect

Look, I'm no fashionista but this show has certainly had an incredible effect on mens' clothing fashion and a devastating effect on men's haircuts. Thank you so much for sending this in, Lee! What do you think? What are your favourite moments?

#valetinesanswers #peaky blinders #valentinesmeta

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yautjalover · 7 months

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First off, if you’re not in the right mental state right now and are unable to handle talk of dark, triggering topics then please come back later or keep scrolling. Please take care of yourselves. The world is a dark and scary place at times and I care about the well-being of other people to warn you ahead of time. This is also for the folks who just want the comfy escape of fandom. You don’t have to engage with politics if you don’t want to, so here is this warning. ☺️

I get it. Enjoy Yautja ya’ll. ❤️

The TDLR of this post is Free Palestine and just me ranting about the media lying and my anger at injustice.

Love you guys. ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve been relatively forgetful of Tumblr lately, and for good reason. My focus has been shifted on my writing and current events that are unfolding on a massive scale. I have followed the events occurring in Palestine for about ten years, rallying for their freedom from the Zionist colonial settler state.

I will in no shape ever support apartheid and genocide, nor ethnic cleansing. It’s monstrous and there’s no excuse whatsoever to justify it. There is no whataboutism, period. You can’t justify the murder and targeted attacks of civilians. I’m also thoroughly disgusted in the government, good ole USA, and the media for continuing to peddle the outright proven lies the IDF and Israel say. They’re not even being quiet about wanting to commit genocide!

If you disagree with reality, then this ain’t the blog for you!

Supporting people who have been oppressed for 75 fucking years isn’t anti-semitism—that’s the propaganda speaking and isn’t factual. Talk with real anti-Zionist Jewish people and they will agree that what’s happening is monstrous and they don’t support it. I stand in solidarity with the oppressed. I do not represent my country’s backing of this fuckshit. I have, and will continue, to defend people’s right to peace and freedom over this heinous bullshit.

I’ve cried more than I ever have seeing LITTLE KIDS digging in the rubble of their home to find their family without a tear in their eyes because what Israel is doing is NORMAL FOR THEM.

I HATE to bring real world events and politics to fandom, but it intersects with our daily lives and the world around us. I disagree with connecting the real world with fandom being a bad thing. I have LONG been an activist for justice in my personal life, and I will continue to do so. It’s who I am and I will always fight for the world to be a better place.

No, I am not “Anti-Semitic”. There is decades of research backing the evil that is being perpetrated by Israeli occupying forces.

Please take the time to do independent research and listen to Palestinian voices and Jewish people who say that this doesn’t represent Judaism. Please do not send hate to Jewish friends or people you don’t know. Please do not send hate to Palestinian or Arab friends or people you don’t know.

I grew up in Post-9/11 America and it’s all happening again. I remember it clearly. The media is doing what it does best. Pitting good well-meaning people against each other with their lies. :/ Please, please, take the time to talk and meet with people and find the humanity in one another. I beg you.

We all want the same things.

Peace and safety.

I’m horrified that my hard earned tax dollars are funding this genocide and they’re saying “we can afford it” when they can’t bother to pass Affordable Healthcare for All, actually fix this corporate greed of artificially inflating prices, they can’t bother to help our veterans who are ending their lives daily because our government turns their backs on them, they continue to harm and demonize black and indigenous people, ignore entirely the missing and murdered indigenous women and children, put literal children in fucking cages instead of stopping the destabilization of the global South (South America+), do nothing to defend our most vulnerable citizens such as LGBTQ+ kids and adults, refused to codify the right to reproductive healthcare, and expect US to pay for ANOTHER WAR that has nothing to do with our own perceived “freedom”.

I wish I could hug every person who’s suffering and solve all their problems. I, too, am struggling, more these days, we ALL are, but I sincerely hope that GOOD WILL PREVAIL.

It has to, right?

I love you guys, all you faceless folks behind your screens and stuff. We don’t personally know each other, but I see you and I hear you.

I pray for the people who are being killed in the darkness, the Congolese who are being murdered for metal that’s used in our tech, and every other person fighting for their basic right to PEACE and a fulfilled life where they are safe! Everyone deserves that! One day the world will be a better place and I hope our actions and fight for it will come true. I wish for our distant future folks to look back and see that we tried, as best as we could, and gave a shit.

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day. I wish you a cold pillow, your shower to always be the perfect temperature, the commute to be easy and traffic free, and that every good boy and girl cat and dog gives you the snuggles that you need.

Peace be upon you guys. ❤️

#yautjalover #I’ve been so emotional and for a good reason #free palestine #justice for EVERYONE #peace and love #take care of yourselves

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bohemian-nights · 1 year

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Sorry for the ranting it’s just nice to meet follow Nettles fans who appreciate her character and don’t try to constantly erase her from the narrative.It’s definitely doubles down with the show but that’s been happening even before that. Why are there so few stories about Netty? She’s such an interesting character who seems to have had a horrible life(can you imagine what it does to a person a young girl on top of that to live all ok her own homeless for many years?)yet the fandom doesn’t bother with her at all. And you can’t blame the show because like I said Nettles erasure has been happening from the begging. Rhaena as much as I love her isn’t the last dragon rider she’s the last Targ one(if N isn’t a Targ/Valyrian)which is an important distinction the fandom doesn’t usually make. Which brings me to D and N’s relationship that always gets erased and I don’t even mean just on a romantic level but on s platonic one as well that’s how you now no matter how the show portrays their relationship fans will hate her no matter what. But talking pre show why are there more stories about Daemon/Laena or Daemon/Rhaenyra even Daemon/Mysaria then there is about him and Nettles. There’s nothing to indicate either of these relationships especially the first two were romantic but for a long time Laena was used as the self insert for D’s true love before they switched to R lol. And I mean self insert because we barely had any idea what their relationship was beyond them probably having affection for each other considering D’s reaction to her dying. No matter how you choose to interpret him and N there’s more info about them together and his feelings for her then there is for the other three women put together yet whenever D’s relationships are discussed N is always cut.🙄

No don’t apologize for “ranting” lol I enjoy these ask’s/discussions. Nettles 👩🏾🐑🐉 is criminally underrated period and she’s one of if not the most interesting characters in F&B.

She comes from less than a humble background and she’s potentially the only non Valyrian dragon riders that we know of in the ASOIF universe. And was you pointed out she is the last dragon rider as well. She straight up rocks!

I hate saying it, but one of the main reasons why she is less talked about/loved is because she’s the only in canon(not partially race swapped) “Black/Blackish” character in the actual books. Nettles is cut from the list because it’s hard for them to picture

In book canon Laena, Rhaenyra, and Mysaria are all “white” so there being more stories on them prior to HOTD makes sense. They could self into them(now they only have Rhaenyra) so of course they would show them more love.

There does seem to be more information on how Daemon felt about Nettles (as well as their day to day lives with one another), but their relationship in general(romantic and platonic) is just glossed over in favor of his other relationships by certain parts of this fandom.

For Christs sake’s some of them are literally calling for Nettles to be cut from the show entirely cause they straight up do not want her anywhere near Daemon in any capacity 🙃 We can see what you are doing when you say this.

There is no way to separate Nettles from Daemon so the next best thing replace her with or girl Rhaena and make sure that Daemon can only be with Rhaenyra.

Mysaria really isn’t that much of a threat in their eyes cause they know he never really was “in love with her”(especially not during the war). They were just f*ck buddies and she was his master of whispers, but whatever romantic feelings he held for her were long dead.

Nettles on the other hand, well they wouldn’t be putting up all this fuss if they really thought that he only saw her as his daughter and not someone he deeply cared about in a less fatherly capacity.

Side note: Them switching up saying Laena is the love of Daemon’s life then switching up to Rhaenyra being the love of his life cause Laena is Blackish in the show will never not be funny 🫠

I do think Laena was the wife Daemon loved the most in the books and I do believe that he at some point “loved” all of his love interests(well not Rhea obviously lol), but whether he was “in love” with all of them 🤷🏽‍♀️

I will stand by the fact that he was probably in love with Nettles though. There was no reason why he was doing all that he did for her when he stood little to gain from it. Nettles would have fought for Rhaenyra whether or not Daemon showered her with attention and affection.

Nettles was honorable/loyal as well so she would have never betrayed Rhaenyra. Which I have seen some of these stans claim who try to justify their queen making the idiotic/insane decision to order a 17 year olds murder without even questioning her🫠

#hotd ask #answered #nettles asoif #hotd spoilers #daemon targaryen #nettles #mysaria #laena velaryon #anti rhaenyra targaryen #nettles supremacy #daemon x nettles #nettles x daemon #bring in nettles hbo #daemon targaryen x nettles #bnasks #bnask #bnhotdask #bnhotdasks

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oskea93 · 1 year

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☨ Fire Away ☨ Chapter Eight

▾ Caius Volturi x OC ▾ ▲ Warning: Cursing ▲

⍏Taglist: @xoxoindigo @vampluv3r @ladysybilchronicles @badkitty83 @volturgeist @theplagueworm @dogmom2014 @hybridlamb @clandestine-nerd @yourfamilyfriendsatan @yourlocalrockstarsimp @violetlilites @quennconstanceuniverse @soraththefallenangel @cancankiki @jamiebowerslut @okimreadynow @R2quellyz @historyandfandoms50 @dogmom2014 @kaitieskidmore1 @quinnswife86 @wooya1224 @e-munson666 @nessaisboring @j-herondale121109 @greatfandom @fayythe

★ Taglist now available ★

Author's note: Hi guys!!! Long time and that is completely my fault. I just want to say sorry for leaving you guys hanging. So this is kind of a filler but an important filler. The drama will be heating up in the next chapter. Also, thanks to all of those that are sticking with this fic and reading it. I really appreciate each and every one of you guys. And if you are new to the taglist, thank you, thank you, thank you!! You guys are the greatest ♥︎ _______________________________________________

Pregnancy has a way of changing a woman.

When I was younger and even up until a few weeks prior, I wasn’t even sure I wanted children. I never found myself to be the motherly type – my sister made sure of that. I would watch other women out in public with their children, wondering what they were thinking for even contemplating the idea of making a human being. The world was fucked up as it is but what made them so special that they would spend the rest of their lives caring and loving another person? The stress of making sure the child grows up to be a responsible, kind adult was a daunting challenge. There were so many evils out there to keep away.

The black and white photo hung lightly between my painted fingers. July 17th was the estimated due date – right in the heart of the summer season. During the examination performed by the Volturi physician, the initial sight of our child was bizarre. It was smaller than a tennis ball at that point, curled into itself. The breaking point and the moment of realization was hearing that I was indeed pregnant by a complete and total stranger. Blood and urine tested – all positive for the hormone.

I sat in the empty waiting room, my knee bouncing up and down as nerves riddled my body. A part of me wanted to get up and leave, too afraid of the possible truth.

“Vanessa?” My name rang out as a young woman appeared from doorway. I quickly gathered my bag, giving her small smile as I followed her into the triage room.

“If you wanna set your bag down and then step on the scale for me.” I followed the directions, taking a deep breath as my flats stepped onto the object. I didn’t even bother looking at the numbers staring back at me, quickly stepping off when she gave me the go-ahead. She obtained my vitals next before the questions started. “So, you think you might be pregnant?”

I nodded my head, “Yeah- “I started. “I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive. I just wanted to make sure that I was for sure pregnant.” I lied. I didn’t bother taking a home test after seeing the ultrasound.

“Gotcha.” She smiled. “Do you happen to know when your last period was?”

I explained to her that it was irregular to begin with and the last day of my period was a mystery at this point. She typed everything I said into the computer for the doctor to read. Once we were done in the triage section, she escorted me to the examination room, instructing me to remove my clothing for the physical exam.

I sat there awkwardly with the paper gown wrapped around my body as I waited for the doctor to come in. My phone vibrated from inside my bag, Caius’s name illuminating on the screen. I had told him that I was going out for a while but didn’t fill him in on any of the details.

A soft knock sounded on the wooden door – my back straightening as an older woman and the nurse from before walked in. She introduced herself as Dr. Bredford, shaking my hand as she took a seat in front of me.

“So- “She smiled. “From what the test results are showing, you are indeed pregnant.” Her smiled widened.

I couldn’t help but start tearing up, soon bursting into tears as the news finally became real. She congratulated me with a soft smile, passing me a box of Kleenex. “Thank you.”

She took the time to explain what would begin to happen as the pregnancy progressed. When I needed to be seen and what to watch out for that would cause alarm. She prescribed the much-needed prenatal vitamins and told me what medications to stay away from, which was a majority. She was a very kind woman – unlike the physician hired for the Volturi men.

I stared out the window of the coffee shop, my mind going in a million directions. The biggest questions being if and when I would tell Caius. I knew I had to eventually tell him, but I didn’t want Aro knowing anything about it. His quest for me to be pregnant was the only thing holding him together at this point. Marcus was dying and the need for another Volturi male was becoming increasingly important.

“Well, if it isn’t the Louisville slugger herself.” Michael stood in front of me – the remanence of my attack still present on his face. “Caius actually let you out of his site- “He paused. “Or does he even know you’ve escaped?”

He took a seat next to me, his arm slung around the back of my chair. “What do you want?” I glared, trying to remain as calm as possible.

He let out a laugh, his face inching closer to mine. “Just wanted to chat, sweetheart.” His hand coming up, reaching for the strand of hair hanging from my messy braid. I quickly shifted in the seat, pulling my body away from his. “Don’t be like that, Vanessa.” He frowned. “I just wanna be your friend.”

I let out a sigh, quickly gathering my things. He started speaking again, only this time I tuned out what he was saying, rushing to get back to the car. I knew he was hot on my tail, his expensive shoes slapping the ground behind me. I hastily entered the car, his hand grabbing the door as I was closing.

“Get away from m- “

“What’s the rush, baby doll.” He sneered. “Gotta plan what the nursery’s gonna look like? Pick out baby names, perhaps?”

My body stilled as I stared into his blue eyes, “What?”

He stepped further into the car, his pelvis pressing against the driver’s seat. “I saw you leaving the gynecologist – little sonogram pictures in your hand. Only the glow a new mommy could have written all over your pretty, little face.”

"Are you following me?"

His lips turning into a smirk, "Someone has too, sweet pea. Especially now that you're caring a bundle of joy."

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I deflected.

He let out a sinister laugh, “I’m not stupid, darling.” His smile wide. “You’ll see that you’re with the wrong man. Just because he’s only hit you a few times doesn’t mean it’s gonna get any better. Should’ve looked up his rap sheet before committing to those vowels or spoke with one of the downtown girls – they’ll tell you how he really is.” I remained silent, staring straight ahead. “What would it take for you to just leave him – right now – no questions asked? What would I have to do for that to happen?”

I slowly turned my head, our eyes connecting. “Drop dead.” My voice low.

His eyes squinted as he slowly backed up allowing me to pull and lock the door. Just as fast as I started it, I reversed out of my spot, racing back to the house…

I spent the rest of my day piddling around the house. Caius was busy with “business”, tending to whatever Aro needed. Ever since Marcus’s accident, Aro had appointed his nephew to take the vacant spot. Caius was working more, dealing with the business doings that Marcus seemed to handle when needed. There were times when I wouldn’t see him all day, only feeling his body dip into the bed late into the night. By morning, he would be gone for another long day. As the days and weeks passed, I kept my feelings to myself – the pregnancy hormones starting to come into play as certain things triggered them. My stomach was slowly growing as I kept google searches of nursery ideas and the list of possible names hidden on my locked phone. I also kept the interaction I had with Michael a deep secret as well. I could have told Caius that day what had happened but then he would find out about the baby and be even more pissed that I allowed him to get so close.

“Hungry darling?” I looked up as Charlotte walked into the kitchen. Her bright smile casting more light into the already sunny room.

I cleared my throat, the remanence of the toast I made earlier still active on my tastebuds. “Oh no thanks, I had some toast and bacon earlier.

She nodded her head as she moved around the room. “You must’ve gotten up with the chickens this morning.”

She was right. I hadn’t been sleeping the best lately and my hunger cravings were getting the better of me. There would be times where I would just wake up in the middle of the night and sneak into the kitchen, finishing off whatever ice cream or dessert item I could find. Then, I would be paying the price of that snack as I leaned over the toilet seat. Caius would wake up here and there, finding my spot vacant, questing my whereabouts when I finally returned to bed.

“I think it was around five or so.” I spoke. “I couldn’t sleep, and I was hungry.”

“Those cravings can get the best of us, deary.” She smiled. “The little ones like sugary treats.” My body stilled as her words filtered through my brain. She moved closer to me, taking my hand in her aging one. “I can tell just by looking at your sweetheart. I’ve been through it, and I’ve been around enough women to know the look.”

I could feel tears forming in my eyes as she looked at me warmly. “Caius doesn’t know. I don’t know how or when to tell him and then there’s Aro- “

“You don’t worry about Aro.” She interjected. “Caius is the one and only man that needs to know about the baby. What happens and what is told between you and Caius in the privacy of your relationship is all that matters. Aro has no say in anyway in the life of that baby.”

I wiped away the tears, “He’s just been pressuring me about giving the family an heir and here I am- “I sighed. “I don’t want my child anywhere near him.” I whispered the last part.

Charlotte’s arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me into her warm body. I instantly broke down as her arms grew tighter. It was a comforting hug- a hug that I needed at that point. Everything that I was worried about flowed as the tears fell on her shoulders.

She slowly pulled away moments later, her hands resting on my upper arms. “You listen to me- “She spoke sterner. “You just take care of yourself and that baby. Whatever Aro has said in the past is just that and you worrying about his words are not good for you or that child. Yes, that child will be the heir of this family, but you will always be the mother of that child. You get the ultimate say in what you want and don’t want – And if you don’t want that child following in their father’s footsteps, you have that right.”

#jamie campbell bower #fanfiction #jamie campbell bower imagine #jamie bower #jamie campbell bower x reader #caius volturi #caius volturi x oc #caius twilight #jamie campbell bower smut #jamie campbell bower x oc #caius volturi imagine

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very-grownup · 1 year

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Book 33, 2023

Everyone loves "The Yellow Wallpaper", the semi-autobiographical gothic horror story about postpartum mental health issues and the treatment of women's illness in the late 19th and early 20th century.

We regret to inform you that the author of "The Yellow Wallpaper", a white feminist born in 1860, has horrible politics. Who could have foreseen this?

The answer is: anyone if we studied literature in the context of an author's wider body of work, instead of cherry picking and whittling down an author profile for specific relevance to that chosen work. I studied "The Yellow Wallpaper" in multiple university classes, because it is an excellent little story, heavy with symbolism and material to interpret, while also having a very clear message. It's unsettling, raw, claustrophobic, bumping against issues that we're still grappling with over a hundred years later. There's a reason Charlotte Perkins Gilman is primarily remembered for this story, which doesn't reveal any of her more questionable opinions. So periodically people on social media get to discover things like how she was an eugenicist.

I wrote a number of papers on depictions of single-sex societies in fiction while at school, which means I also read Gilman's novella, "Herland", which gives room for her wider politics to breathe, but I was still surprised by what I found in her fiction reading "Herland and Selected Stories".

For starters: a lot of them are fairly unimpressive and mundane and I wasn't reading a collection of all of Gilman's fiction. These were curated by an editor. I admit to not having read Barbara H. Solomon's introduction; I skimmed it and didn't see any references to Gilman's opinions that are less palpable to modern readers. Perhaps there she explains her logic for the stories she selected.

Some of the stories concern utopia-adjacent feminist ideals relevant to Gilman's time. Older women finding themselves invigorated by late-in-life discovery of things that fulfill them outside the confines of the wife-and-mother role. Young women guided to more fulfilling lives independent of men they don't really want by older mentors. Women finding common ground in being hurt by the same man and uniting with each other, instead of embracing a villain in the Other Woman. Women finding love but with men who respect them and don't ask them to change themselves. Which is all fine and can be recognized as progressive and counter to the culture of the time.

They're not very interesting, though, Gilman's polemic against the patriarchy more significant than any interesting plot or character sketch or artistically pleasing turns of phrase.

The selected stories don't particularly advertise Gilman's racial stances. Gilman was a great-niece of Harriet Beecher Stowe and, while she acknowledged the ill that had been done to Black Americans, similarly fails to understand the wider systemic problems of post-slavery America and her own contributions in perpetuating a culture of white supremacy. There are a few references to "coloured" maids, most egregious in "Her Housekeeper", where a Black maid is present and named and the reader is informed she sleeps on the couch, but doesn't care where she sleeps, if she even needs to sleep. Unsurprisingly, what's most conspicuous is the otherwise complete absence of Black people from any of the selected stories.

The matter of eugenics is more clearly on display, thought, particularly in "Herland", where good women and citizens who are "inferior" recognize themselves as such and choose to forego motherhood (the female ideal in their society and for the women in many of the selected short stories, despite Gilman's beliefs being counter to strict gender roles), preventing the spread of those "inferior" qualities (physical and mental disabilities and asocial tendencies that could lead to crime). The women are all fit and diversely Aryan (blonde, brunette, redheaded, pale, tan). Other stories remind us that fat women are repulsive to witness in society.

The story that really captured my attention was "When I Was A Witch", in which a woman acquires ambiguous magical abilities that she uses to angrily right societal wrongs, only to lose them when she tries to impose something positive and pure in the form of making all women realize all the good power and potential available to them as women, drawing a line between women as they exist and "real" women, who have embraced "... their real power, their real dignity, their real responsibility in the world ...", who don't behave in a way the narrator finds embarrassing. This is labeled white magic versus her previous black magics that come from rage. But it's undeniable that those black magic wishes represent real beliefs of Gilman's, many of them coming from a place of good intentions. Carriage drivers are made to feel the physical suffering their horses endure, reducing their cruelty to the animals. Shareholders of major companies are made to feel the suffering the people at the bottom of the chain of power, pushing them to change their priorities from profits to people. Domestic animals in the city lead lives either stifled or full of suffering, so they all suddenly die. Parrots are given the ability to speak their 'opinions' of their owners and they all hate them.

Also, they think their predominantly female owners are ugly.

Gilman would love PETA.

There's a condescending feminist version of noblesse oblige in how Gilman and her protagonists talk about other women who have not found or chosen the path of what Gilman sees as empowered, fully realized femaleness that leaves a bad taste in my mind. Women need to work together to uplift each other and rely on each other in their stories, but they need to recognize that some women are going to try and keep them from fulfilling themselves because they don't Understand and have become disconnected from True Femaleness in a very second-wave eco-feminist nature mother way.

"The Yellow Wallpaper" is clearly Gilman's most enduring work of fiction because, in addition to being an easy work to teach, it's genuinely good and coming from a real, personal place. It doesn't propose a solution to the protagonist's distress, it has an ending that breaks her instead of giving her a neatly gift-wrapped solution because there isn't an easy solution for post-partum depression. When she moves away from that personal experience in her fiction, the reader also moves away from connecting with it. The politics, both good and bad, don't intersect meaningfully with the personal, and a number of them simply aren't good.

Sometimes it's easy to forget an author might only have one good one in them.

#2023 books #charlotte perkins gilman #the yellow wallpaper #herland #whoops it's eugenics!

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justonemorechapternicercy · 1 year

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There's just something about writing for you that makes me giddy and head full of enby Percys. Merry Christmas, my little Moon, my beloved child @cherrysodafountain 💗

Percy was sitting at the shore, watching the stars and kicking their legs. Faintly, he could hear the sounds of celebration around the fire, but it was nothing they couldn't ignore. He chose to listen to the waves crashing against the rocks, instead.

Even if he couldn't see them, he could imagine what they were doing; Jason and Nico leaning close to each other, closer than it was normal for the friends they insisted they were being. Annabeth was probably making her way through the crowd, searching for them to make him change their mind about their decision on not going to university. They snorted and took a sip of his drink. Good luck for that, Wise Girl. University just didn't work for him, and they wished she would just accept it.

Tilting his head upwards, he watched the stars, listening to their tales of pasts long forgotten. He tried to recall the constellations, but the only one they remembered was Zoe's, the eternal Huntress.

Speaking of huntresses…

Percy sighed. They didn't turn their attention away from the sky, the only realm he couldn't cross, but he wasn't surprised either when somebody was brave enough not only to follow them, but to sit down next to him.

They didn't talk, neither of them being big on inane chatting. And anyways, they were much better at being silent than talking, since as much as they loved each other, they were too much like cats and dogs; never agreeable for a longer period of time.

Percy nearly jumped out of his skin when a firework went off. The person next to them snickered, and he flipped them off.

"The Stolls must have been responsible for that," commented a deep voice. He/him, then, his mind supplied. Soon, the calm sky was replaced with bright, flashing lights and whining fireworks.

"Mm," they murmured, agreeing without words.

Getting comfortable, he brought his legs up into a half kneeling position, just to lean against the man next to him. Thalia was always so warm like a furnace, and as his warmth seeped through their clothes, Percy's shivering ceased.

"We should go back, you are freezing," Thalia commented, but didn't bother to get up. He knew they were not going anywhere.

"We should," agreed Percy, not moving either. Arms sneaked around their shoulders, and Percy melted into the hug, like a putty in Thalia's hands. They tilted their head, blinking up at his friend with big, baby seal-like eyes.

"What?" Came the gruff question, but the affection in Thalia's eyes betrayed his mock-anger.

"Nothing. Just trying to figure out who are you and what did you do to my partner," Percy teased, admiring the blueish black locks and intelligent eyes he loved so much.

"Little shit," Thalia grumbled, shoving Percy, careful not to move them too far away from himself.

"You know you love me," they beamed, his adoring eyes reflecting the blooming fireworks above them.

It was way more cheesy than any of them were usually comfortable with, but they didn't move.

As the minutes ticked by, the tenseness in Percy's heart started to melt away, their previously morose feeling giving space for warmth.

He really did adore Thalia.

"You know you are not alone, right? We are here for you. I am here for you. Annabeth will understand that you don't want to go to university, your mother will accept that you are an adult already, who needs their space, and Lady Artemis would realize that I won't betray my word, that our relationship would not change my loyalty to her." Thalia's soft voice was like a balm for his soul, addressing each of their concerns. The women in their lives were always so headstrong, so stubborn and set in their way. They always wanted the best for the people around them, but sometimes they didn't understand that what they thought was the best, wasn't always that.

Percy sighed, burrowing himself into Thalia's arms even more. He was right; they would learn. They would just have to show them that their relationship was right for them, that it was strong. It was strange and unusual, even compared to the love lives of gods and demigods, but it fit them. They were the two sides of the same coin, completely different, yet the same nonetheless.

"You are right," they mumbled into Thalia's neck, pressing a light kiss on the sensitive skin.

"I'm always right. I'm glad you finally realized it, Kelp Head." He could hear the grin in Thalia's voice, but they didn't move his head to see it. He would have the opportunity to see the hunter's smug smirk for an eternity, if things went well.

He sighed, "Hate you."

"I hate you too. My little annoyance," the immortal being whispered, lovingly running his fingers through Percy's thick hair.

#percy jackson #thalia grace #percy x thalia #pjo fic #pjo

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ir0n-angel · 1 year

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I posted 17,622 times in 2022

That's 2,641 more posts than 2021!

104 posts created (1%)

17,518 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@madangel19

@crackinglamb

@steamcaptain

@lilbittymonster

@taygertot

I tagged 10,640 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#minerals - 1,851 posts

#hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - 1,066 posts

#i'm hungry - 873 posts

#awesome art - 685 posts

#gaming dice - 496 posts

#sound on - 406 posts

#this - 249 posts

#but also - 241 posts

#cute art - 237 posts

#for reference - 179 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#can you imagine what the world would be like if our governments weren't run by people with fortunes tied to harmful environmental practices?

My Top Posts in 2022:

Please use punctuation.

Please use punctuation, especially if you’re making a long post. I don’t care if it’s the wrong one. It can be all commas all the time. Or periods. Or be radical and use a semicolon. It’s hard enough to read walls of text. It’s impossible to read them when there’s nothing to break up the sentences.

This message brought to you by one of the millions of users with dyslexia.

18 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

@fiadhaisteach

A present for you.

21 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

*skin crawls* *hits the block button*

Okay, because there seems to be a little bit of miscommunication here, please take note of the following:

I’m a bi/pan-romantic demisexual, ADHD sufferer, and I have a tenuous acquaintanceship with gender at best. I’m an atheist omnivore that believes black lives matter, trans men are men, trans women are women, nonbinaries are awesome, children are real people and not property, love is love, vaccines save lives, climate crisis is a real problem, platonic love is just as important as romantic love, abortion should be safe and legal and none of your damn business, social media is bad for your health, no one should own assault weapons, and diet culture and capitalism and cult of celebrity should die in a fire.

We got that? Good. I’m not interested in having a debate with y’all over this. I don’t care to hear your point of view and I don’t dance with devil’s advocates. I’m here for rocks, recipes, and the occasional awful pun. If it ain’t enough for you to sit quietly and enjoy the pretty pictures, get blocked. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Good riddance.

29 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

If you have the spoons (& willingness), I am curious & would love it if you could tell me why so many pretty minerals look like red lyrium.

Manganese! Also traces of iron, magnesium and/or calcium. But mostly manganese! Manganese gives you red!

I assume we're talking about this bad boy right here:

Rhodochrosite.

Also known as manganese carbonate (MnCO3), it occurs as a hydrothermal vein mineral along with other manganese minerals in low temperature ore deposits such as silver. In its purest form, it creates beautiful crystals like the one pictured above. However, calcium (and sometimes magnesium and zinc) frequently replaces the manganese in the structure, leading to shades of pink, the most common color encountered:

See the full post

31 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

💙Back again for the third year in a row, with new prompts!💙

FLUFF-uary is a creation celebration designed to display all your sweetness and light for the whole month of February. There will be a prompt for each day and you can do as many as you like, in any combination or order.

Feel free to write, draw, edit photos/videos...whatever you're inspired to create. Have fun, it's not a contest. You can join in for the whole month, do one or two, or even come up with your own. Do it at your own pace, even after February is over. There's no word or size limits or restrictions other than to keep it sweet (no whump, please – we're all about the comfort zone here).

When uploading your fluffs, please tag properly with the prompt, the tag fluffuary2022, and any other applicable tags (like genre, characters, any content warnings if you decide to go NSFW etc.) Any questions can be directed @ir0n-angel and @crackinglamb. As always, we hope everyone has a good time.

(reader-friendly plain text under the cut)

1. Holding Hands

2. Long Conversations

3. Trust

4. Being Silly

5. Moral Support

6. Shopping Together

7. Love Letters

8. Taking a nap together

9. Caretaking

10. Cooking Together

11. Compliments

12. First 'I love you'

13. Night Out

14. Mutual Pining

15. Love Bites

16. Flower Crowns/Putting Flowers In Their Hair

17. 'This Made Me Think of You'

18. Domestic Intimacy

19. Spooning

20. Acts of Devotion

21. Trying Something New

22. Bearhugs

23. Reminiscing

24. Wearing/Stealing Each Other's Clothes

25. Adopting a plant/pet

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358 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

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cablles · 7 months

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river-runner

I very much prefer the train to air travel.

Planes are choked, compacted aluminum tubes full of everyone you've ever met from every stage in your life, and as children scream and teenagers witter and strange white women remove their stinking shoes on this grand infra-continental journey around you, you may grit your teeth and try very hard to do whatever it is you brought along outside of your checked baggage (book, gory movie, masturbation). It is Herculean.

And below the foil-wrapped sausage which comprises Delta Airlines Flight Whatever stretches everything that has ever been known to you or anyone else. Lakes and canyons and endless suburbian hivework overlap, beige-green countryside and a mountain, maybe, if you're lucky enough to live outside of the former prairied forest known as the American Midwest. And you don't care. It passes by and becomes rote after a few trips; maybe you were born into richness or circumstance which allowed you to see this God's view of land with wonderment as a child, but now it's claustrophobic business, tongue depressed by altitude and wallet emptied.

Contrast this with the other kind of living metal creature within which human beings make their way across our blasted landscape. There are few children here, and the ones that are are remarkably well-behaved and curious, in no small part due to their subconscious comprehension that to ride the rails is to a minor sin (like an uncovered yawn) as airlines are to beastiality. I love the people who ride this train with me, I really do.

The man across the aisle from me is balding, with just the barest impression of white hair to crown his scalp and slide, weary, down to the back of his neck. He wears black square horn-rimmed glasses and has stared with unequivocal longing at the brilliant orange of slow sunset for nearly an hour now, small chin in hand and lips pursed in wist. He listens to something on his old-model cell that still has a 3.5mm jack, with old-model white wired earbuds that have the little microphone in a squashed cylinder that drapes just down his chest to the clutched phone, the untaut string a physical connection to his own moment. I have no idea what he's listening to, but his commitment to mid-2000s rusticity implies any manner of things. I would be listening to Boards of Canada were I in his position, personally.

Telephone lines breach in pink twilight out the porthole. Two layers; I imagine one for power and the other for communication: The first passes in a period vaguely close to one third the rate the second, the draped cabling wake-waves as we chase the sun. They are alive in an immensely satisfying way that is completely unlike the unsynchronized clicking of your turn signal and the signal of the car's ahead of yours.

Mennonites shuffle down the aisle. You don't see them on planes, likely for the aforementioned reasons of sin. Train's fine, though. I cannot help but admire them for this and other reasons: Their children ask phenomenal questions (Do cars and trains work the same? Why do you like coffee so much?) and the adults among them are simultaneously the picture of humility and the most interesting sight in the room. I stepped from the bathroom, pulling from a disposable e-cigarette like it was oxygen, and the bonneted Mennonite woman I nearly ran into just gave me a half smile and a look of knowing. Are they allowed to smoke? Do they roll their own cigarettes in the cowboy way? How many of them have lost a fantastic chinstrap beard to self-immolation? One of them cracks a string of dry jokes ahead of me, careful not to step on laughter.

We crest the river out of outland suburbs and into desolation, Middle America. Subsidized wind turbines blink gigantic distant red in perfect time with each other, a hundred hundred eyes of Sauron over industrial soybean fields. I find myself missing the worn back roads of Nowhere, Missouri and the quaint farms which maintain the forest surrounding them. Only one line of conduit now, long and slow as fading day.

The woman in the seat next to me breathes with relative gravity and speaks with a slight soft rasp that implies cigarettes, once. Her cadence is slow and her Spanish is clear, but it has been too long since I studied the language (sorry, Mom) and I cannot understand her. She spoke on the phone for hours about nothing with her son until our train breached the black unlit countryside where towns are marked by distant flares of light pollution and cellular reception is fleeting. She is sweet, having saved a seat for me, and I cannot help but notice we have the same hairstyle — past shoulder length, curly, dark — though hers is highlighted platinum blonde meaning venerance. I bet she would have fantastic life advice for me if only the two of us could communicate.

#✏️

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cosmicangel888 · 1 year

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The Rebalancing & Healing of Distorted DM ~ Discriminated for eons DF

None have the right, to hold you back, do magic to confuse, block, bring trouble and blocks your way in every moment you step forth, you have some sneaky trickster that thinks they have pull over your own life and how you choose to move and sway;

There are those, that choose not to do the inner work, and every step you have to take forth, you have those that gang up, project, send entities and forcing energy to 'not leave them' for then they will have to face who they are - they will have no one to take from, they will have none to get light, ideas, and energy from unless they do it within, go within, and do it as meant to, and only can do when moving through ascension; NONE CAN nor will stop anyones personal will with spirit, higher order of awakening and ascension - none simply have any power on this - period.

Such narcists, DM distortions, unhealed inner wounding, all cannot be ignored of what is needing to be healed; for 1000's of years, the DF has done little movement forward, due to the empowerment, and truth, breaking of all systems that would have to incur in the revelations of what and how much corruption of the DM power abuses have been enacting; those that we have given so aimlessly power to, and what lack of care, honour, sacredness to life and innocence has been; all will unfold, for darkness will implode upon itself and in doing so, all will be seen, known, as it is - however would simply healing be a far more expansive and honouring ride?

Such breaking is occurring right now - as leaders, new humanitarians are taking their place energetically and why we feel this first, and physically there are those doing all they can in spirit, in the ethers, in their black magic cults, to continue group spell work, corruption and shames of schemes to ensure the imbalance of power will continue - however that simply is no more and they have not seen, nor awaken to that it never was;

You see, the reality is; the matrix, is mental, 3D is mental; and what the mental is now being bathed, and reactivated, is the pre-frontal cortex, of the brain, all is being re-wired; as we sleep, each new day; which will activate such soul inspiring questions; questions of inner value, reflection, intention, redemption, and shifting of beliefs and knowing, remembrances of lineages in which life was lived sacredly in divine prayer with all life -

Why those that have lived in such abuse of power over others, those being abused mentally, emotionally will equally have their awakening and be brought to their knees in 'trying to sort out all the density and karma of such programs of suppression' and want to heal and seek the way to light - for light is so very sweet and life altering - life is easy and flowing in the light, it feels happy, self soothing, and honouring, and it is possible and a birthright to all those that choose and seek it - however the healing must be accounted for and healed ; - this is energy transmutation, for the matrix is collapsing; and will never be remade - the energy of old dimensional stories must be healed - you cannot take 3D stories and energy into the 5D - you must alchemize it -

Forgiveness, compassion, love, compassion again is the power of the new way of living - it is within - those that choose to continue to swindle the innocent, take and derail those that choose expansion will only face greater resistance and lack -

How do men truly want to see women within our social structures; any woman that has held any social placement within orders of great discrimination and subjugation has experienced great difficulty, being held back, blocks, and undeniable strain in which the DM had 0 - now the tables are turning; DM, the distortions of the DM, be in female or male body will determine who, where, what the wounding is; will be facing = equal healing potentials - none escape this -

All DM will be now being offered, be it through spirit enforcing it, or within ones own choice, to take a step back review your own life on what levels of constraint, and forcing, control have you caused - do you hold your children, DF/DM in same equal honour? Do you empower the women, and uplift the women equally - do you hold the intuitiive knowing, the esoteric and divine alignment as equal as book smarts; what have you been entrained to believe is true; for there will be every person, every soul reasoning with new ideals and knowings; this is awakening - blanket discrimination upon our planet will no longer be ok to continue; those doing so, even though they wear masks and titles that 'say they are for the balance and equality of the people' their actions, beliefs, and hate behind closed doors is far from innocent - this is what is being unveiled - for all to make anew, and re-write - would you not want this for your future life; be it, a man now; you will be a female in your next life to alter, shift, and make balance on your distortions in this life - none escape soul growth;

Any blaming, and deflection of their own wounding, will be what holds each back until the facing of beliefs, and inner wounding is done; none escape this process; so projection and taking, bullying, blocking, and schemes to another only compound and hold back what is truly meant to be and only that of God, the Heavens write such divine design - anything holding stagnancy will feel the greatest shaking - for this is only fear of the unknown - what is more depressive than suppression? My goodness; who wants to stay in something unchanging - how boring;

The collective zones of social suppression, be it children, elders, women, are held within all social programs; we wrote it in whatever timeline, and wounding and wars therein, therefore we must clear it - and write anew in new 5D consciousness - all is purposeful and what makes us masters; imprints of suppressive and discriminatory dogma, dogma that states dominion over any life, person, or the demeaning, degrading of any aspect of life, has not obviously even considered higher order, or that such religions and texts were written in our lowest state of consciousness upon earth - and such are so degrading and out-dated; that why all must be washed and bathed whole - no life is above another nor in entitlement to be taken, beaten, stoned, or held in less than - our world, in its grave imbalance should not, nor ever continue in its depraved state of only 1 part of our collective wants and needs - this is highly ridiculous - and when you awaken, you will see how warped and derailed your sense of vision, and inner offering has been;

Suppression within all collective issues of the DM wounds and those, even those in DF bodies, joining such cults, group think that join together to stop the progressive consciousness of the collective; those that join to stop progression but make money and energy off their own inner envy, and jealousy = the witches joined with the DM, DM that join in groups, group think to bring in damage to those moving in divine ownership, commandmentship, and sovereignty - yet there are those that will do everything in their power to make you look and feel as if you are getting no where; yet when they look up, there is no one there but the negative nellies they have attracted in their own emptiness;

None have power over you - and this that project such, you can simply clear your field as easy as breath - and that such games, delays, and black magic anyone will do on your legal settlements, have no power over the silent moves and the ones that are whistleblowers and those that choose to live in truth, integrity, and honour for none want to take on the karma of such interference of any other - every thought, word, deed; is either movement on your own divine path, dharma, or karma -

The more anyone tries to suppress spirit, the more spirit will lift; spirit will not support sacrifice, or harm to the innocent, nor benefiting the corrupt and keeping the trafficked held in mental emotional and spiritual lack - all deserve liberation and none hold voice to ownership on any life, period.

Mental, emotional, mind-scraping - will be equal to that in which it was created and its intentions; 'in-tending' is the making of matter from spiritual energy, forces, direction ; - sending it out not; it is within you that you derive such; disease, disorder, imbalance - however some prefer to learn in the being of sickness of ones own inner separation; deflection to another

and none have any power over you - the energy that anyone you are linked with; family, social, group, collective, can have vibrational sensing for you, but you are clearing caring, honouring you will bring equal balance and light to what is 'trying' but will never ever ever ever ever have ownership of you and your choice - we are within a free and sovereign world and only those living in suppression wish to suppress; for their fear of not healing their deep wounds of rejection, and judgment and separation are so deep - they do not want to face a reality without the energy they cling to in thinking and feeling, the entitlement that is theirs to own, claim, and take from while doing -0 but corrupt and disrupt the actual purity and honour of being in it;

Energy is energy - whatever you try to suppress will only suppress you further - and spirit God will ensure of this -

When you have interfered and 'think' you are taking the free will of another, be it for selfish, trafficking gain, or for a title in a community of false and masked leadership of falsehood and imaginary wisdoms, you will only feel the weight upon your own awakening and darkness in karma you face in having to know what you have taken, ill will and malice to those you have slighted; nothing goes unnoticed -

Spirit sees and knows all - at what point will anyone that is messing with another - simply stop and go within and heal - what and how much destruction will you / one cause to think you have power over another - before you simply do what is right and feel the liberation from doing so and being so - ©

youtube

None have power - period - divine feminine will be lifted, and divine feminine will be writing new stories, and nothing will ever hold back the light, nor the movement forward, nor the new energies and new ways, and new schools, and new healings, and new abundance - there is no going back - only those that try to hold back the light will experience the most profound yet so unnecessary shaking - you hold no power over another - spirit Is limitless -

Heal thy wounds -

All is free and such is our birthright -

Justice is -

Love is

Liberation is

So be it,

Joanna

[email protected]

#ascension

#healing

#intuitivehealing

#Youtube

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prettyjammy · 2 years

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The stories we tell ourselves

27 February 2021. It seems like the lockdown sort of made me miss a certain person that became an important presence in my life for a while.

Four, five years after the fact, before every dreamless slumber, my thoughts never fail to drift to Blue. At one point I believed that my wishes might have the power to bring him back and continue where we left off, no matter how long that takes as if this grieving period has an immeasurable expiration date that will magically kick off with a happy ending. Looking back on a rather strange time of my life, I always try to remember who I was, what I looked like, how I took care of myself and my feelings, and the very desires that were left unsaid but immensely obvious in our actions. The majority of his presence – his shaky arrogance, false projections, frustrations, and debilitating self-doubt – was nearly impossible to soothe so we turned almost everything in jest until we couldn’t distinguish hurt from laughter.

But in rare moments of tenderness, Blue was thoughtful, encouraging, and endearingly (sometimes painfully) opinionated about every little thing. When we had our first serious conversation over chat, it went on for hours and hours than I can count. Little did I know that it would be our thing for months to come: he talked about all the bands that saved his life, the places in Japan he was dying to visit, our shared love for musicians named Paul, as well as a mutual admiration for John Cusack. I told him that Say Anything is one of my all-time favorites and, to this day, I’m still wishing for a love like what Lloyd and Diane had.

“Have you seen High Fidelity? Akong-ako si John Cusack don,” he said. “Although, Jack Black also had some moments.”

I told him I was planning to because I was finishing reading the book at the time. “Keep this book away from your girlfriend – it contains too many of your secrets to let it fall into the wrong hands,” one of the most prominent praises for the book says. It read to me like a red flag as Blue and I entered into a month of seeing each other.

I knew what kind of person Rob Gordon was. He was ruminating, insecure, selfish, and lonely. He was terrible with women. Cusack translated this on-screen very, very well. His charming man as Lloyd was nowhere to be found even with Cusack’s regular joe good looks. But then again, I’ve always felt compelled to love complex (read: difficult) people.

Blue glorified this character, as well as the movie, to death. He’d come over to my place a week later to watch it with him.

“Sabi ko sayo e, guys like us still stand a chance,” he said as the credits rolled, looping his arm around my middle, stopping me so we could lay some more. It was a sunny afternoon on a weekday and I remember taking him to my bedroom to smoke because I didn’t want the smell to give away the fact that I wasn’t alone. Boyfriends, or any form of male company really, were an unspoken restriction in our make-shift compound.

I watched while I waited for him to finish the last drag off of his cigarette before walking up towards him by the window. I just wanted to be close to him – to see if he could let me in. It was still unfathomable to me that I invited a boy in my room, let alone one that I actually have real attraction for and seems to feel the same way. He sealed our closeness as his tall frame leaned on mine until our lips met in an innocent but lingering kiss.

Soon these secret meetings became uncomfortable. From going to each other’s houses, we would opt to stay at motels with no lunch nor dinner dates prior. I was starting to worry. But more than anything I was sad because I had already altered my brain to allow myself to be seen, warts and all. I opened up my heart and I was ready to jump from infatuation to real love. Maybe I was already there.

Our memories are imperfect and often glossed over, and when I trace them back to those five, six months of… whatever, I often catch myself wondering if they were ever real. Though, one thing is for sure: I was aware of how I felt.

To quote Tavi Gevinson, “I try to remember that what I really want is not to go back, but what I have now: the image, the memory.”

We were anchored in troubled waters and the angle was off right from the beginning. I already felt small compared to him. Five years ago I would’ve claimed that no other guy could ever make me feel how he made me feel. That, my affections were a gift he so deserved that I would be the luckiest person on earth had he acknowledged them, if not returned. I always felt reciprocation was already too much to ask – that I would be more than fine with settling for the bare minimum. As I said, I felt small next to him.

Today, like many days passed, I wish I reacted differently and cherished those moments of openness because I knew he was maybe reaching out for someone to listen. I always felt he just didn’t like being pitied because of his stubborn pride. Even so, I won’t ever trade those bits of perpetual bliss talking from our beds for anything. I want to believe that I truly connected with someone in those brief months just when I thought my life was getting stranger and turning into something I could no longer control.

Those of us who were born with a growing solitude and absolute independence have a complicated relationship with intimacy. I don’t dislike vulnerability even if it’s with the wrong friends and romantic potential because I’m not an inverted snob. But then again, intimacy is a fickle thing to betray and plays a key part in abandonment. I’m still going through establishing the right set of boundaries with everyone I meet and I already know; I just have to remind myself time and time again that they don’t have to be infinite.

#the blue diaries #work in progress

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deadricslover · 2 years

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"my heaven on earth"

here's my Masterlist!

he is so fucking attractive omg

a/n: not my gif! I got this as a request but I deleted it on accident😬. your requests are so good and because of that I would never tell u f off. maybe we should team up? im kidding don't worry. Was this a trope in a book? I think it was.

If you're in a relationship like the reader in this then please don't hesitate to get help. like Bruce says towards the end of this 'you have a right to be sad, even if he can't see that his behaviour is hurting you then that's enough'. that will make more sense when you read it lol. there are so many people or there for you so there's no need not to go to them <;3

summary: Richard is your soon to be ex boyfriend who has a tendency to act out and make you feel bad about yourself. One night you have had enough of it and decide to leave him for good this time, you don't have any other option but to go to your best friend Bruce for comfort and boy that is what he gave you.

warnings: mental abuse, angst, body dysmorphia, use of y/n, sexism, body shaming, language, pet names, pls tell me if I missed anything!

pairings: bale!Bruce Wayne X fem! reader. oc!ex bf X fem!reader

-------------------------------------------------

Lord, you adored your boyfriend, Richard. He was great in every way. In every way, from setting up dates, prioritizing you, in bed and everything else that comes with being in a partnership. You'd go to any length for him, and he'd reciprocate. You'd say meeting him was the most memorable experience of your life.

But you also despised him. Every blood cell in his body, every word he said, every strand of hair on his head, his odour, practically everything about that jerk. Your relationship with Richard was so perplexing; one minute you despised his guts, the next you loved him and felt sorry for him because of all you said to him in the previous argument. Nobody knew about it, you didn't know who to turn to for help, and even if you did, you'd think you were being dramatic because maybe this is how a normal relationship works. 'No matter how big or small, if it's making you feel that horrible, it has to be fixed' your best friend, Bruce, used to say when you're sad. You had no idea what you had done to deserve him. You couldn't talk to Bruce about Richard since he knew him and might not believe you.

You were currently waiting for Richard to return from who knows where to his flat. There was no need for him to be angry with you tonight because you had cleaned the place and made dinner. So you thought. When the stench of burning touched your nose, you panicked and dashed over to check the timer, only to discover you had set it for ten hours instead of one. How did you do that? The dish had been baking for about two hours. Is it possible to save it? No way, because the bottom of the oven pasta you cooked had turned black and crunchy. The front door flew open at precisely the right moment.

"People are such jerks," he screams, slamming his keys on the table and pausing for a moment to catch his breath and re-compose himself. Your fear grows as you realize he could turn on you.

"Welcome home," you say with your back to him, trying not to make any assumptions. People can be angry for a short period of time, right? Richard, apparently not. He takes his hands away from his face and asks

"Baby, what's the smell?"

"Oh, silly me just burned dinner. It's not a big problem. we can order takeout."

"Take out?! again?! Do you want me getting fat?! Get a life, I don't want to look like you." Angry, he says, hurting your feelings over again. You think you'd get used to this, but you really don't. Each time it feels like your heart gets ripped out over and over again and in your eyes, you gain five pounds each time too.

"Fine. What do you want?" You turn around, visibly irritated.

"I don't know! While men are at work, women are supposed to take care of dinner! Not burn it and starve me! "He says loudly, startling you and making you fear that there will be another fallout. Goosebumps rise on your skin as your eyes expand slightly in panic. You're not sure what came over you at the time, but something did, and you regret it deeply.

"that's it. Richard, I'm sick to death of you constantly making me feel like shit! You treat me as though I'm useless, and I hate it."

"Do I? yeah? Sounds familiar, right? kinda similar to how you treat yourself maybe?" He says this as he approaches your face, crouching down slightly to reach your level. That was an experience you'd never forget. Tears welled up in your eyes from anguish and hurt, but mostly from disbelief. You know what Richard is like, but you never expected him to go that far. But then again, with him, you never know.

"Are you fucking crying?! Are you fucking kidding me? Grown ass woman crying over the smallest thing. Woman, I'm just telling you the truth and if you can't handle that then you're weaker than I ever fucking thought" He continues to rant. You're trying to block out his snide remarks, but the next stage of Richard's meltdowns usually has you feeling sorry for him. You do your hardest not to listen in, but it's difficult with Richard because he's so loud. How come your neighbors haven't phoned 911 or even been over to see if we're all right every fucking night when the screaming starts? I'm at a loss for words, I haven't a clue.

"yeah, Dick, I have a reason to cry, like usual! You, the meanest fucker on the planet, are continuously hurting my feelings, dragging me down, and making me feel worthless. I'm done with this bullshit; I couldn't care less. Do whatever you want with me; I'm leaving." You vehemently exclaim. He hates it when you call him dick but it's the perfect time for it isn't it. You've tried to leave before, but he always finds a way to keep you or force you to return. You never left, whether it was 'weeping' or seducing you. Until Now. You dash to your room, grabbing your wallet, shoes, and jacket before pushing past Richard and racing out the door, ignoring his pleadings and begs.

You made it out of the building and onto the sidewalk without him chasing you down or shouting at you from his window to stay. You didn't know where to go. For the first time in your life, you were at a loss. You had no idea what to do next because it was incredibly late and you knew there would be no coffee shops open to let you camp there and to figure out your next move. Going to your family was out of the question because they were too far away and you also didn't want to bother them or them asking what was going on and why you were here. A thought occurred to you. Bruce. He is usually out at ungodly hours, but you couldn't risk it. But what other option did you have? You begin walking with only yourself and your thoughts, making your way to The all-too-familiar Wayne tower. Once you reach your destination through the dark streets and past the odd cat meowing at you, you take a deep breath and gather strength for the knock you'll make on the door a few moments after. The door swings open to Bruce in a hoodie, clearly already awake before your arrival.

"Y/n. what are you doing here? It's the middle of the night"

"i'm sorry" you squeak out and he instantly knows your sad.

" Come inside and get a blanket, the heater's not working so they're the only source of warmth I have right now" he says, his voice tired and gravelly.

Bruce couldnt piece together what it was but he knew you needed comforting. So that's what he's going to give you. He saw it was you standing infront of the door through the window so he did something rash and turned off the heater on the way to the door so it would give him an exuse to be closer to you in hopes of giving you some comfort without instantly hugging you like he wanted so desperately to do.

"Sorry for barging in this early in the morning" you squeak out still not having the energy to say anything louder.

"I enjoy your company at all hours, Y/n. It's actually perfect, I was up anyway and bored for something to do and you being here is the best thing for that" He tells you the truth somehow mysteriously knowing exactly what you needed to hear. Tears welled in your eyes at the comment and you couldn't help but let them form. Bruce saw this and immediately stepped forward to give you the most comforting hug possible, Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, you reciprocating the action around his waist while he places his chin on top of your hair nuzzling his nose into your locks letting you sob quietly for a few moments. Bruce slowly brings the two of you over to the couch sitting down where he was previously alone and tucks the blanket around you, taking the wallet and phone out of your hands and placing them on the coffee table before removing your jacket for added comfort. Moments more go by and his natural scent is slowly comforting you and calming you down. Bruce knew this too, so he slowly stopped planting gentle kisses to your head and moved his head back to see your puffy face.

"You wanna tell me what's up? Why your pretty face is stained with tears?" he enquires gently with a soft face filled with remorse.

"It's nothing I'm just being dramatic" you reply knowing already that he is going to say something your middle aged mom would say when your were younger.

"sweetheart, if it's bothering you that much then it's clearly not nothing. You can talk to me" he says as he starts rubbing circles on your upper arm with his thumb

"No, really it's ok I just had nowhere else to go"

"No where else to go? could you not go home to Richard?" he asks confused. A wave of panic washes over you when he asks this because you would have no reason not to go home usually. You stare at Bruce in thought for a few moments trying to come up with ideas for a lie, but nothing pops into mind.

"Y/n, Why couldn't you go back to Richard?" He says as his face drops in realisation. Notice how he didn't say 'home' he said 'back to Richard?'. I have no problem going home, as long as Richard isn't there.

"I...uhm...it's- it's complicated you wouldn't understand" you stall in thought

"oh, hon. I think I do" His eyes now glimmer with sadness. You shake your head in response not being able to form a sentence right now in fear you will fuel Bruce's theories that are completely correct. This is exactly why you didn't want to come here, Bruce would feel bad, hate Richard and possibly go after him. You hated putting this on Bruce but then again you had nobody or nowhere else to go. He grabs you and gently pulls you in cautious that you may not be up for any more physical touch.

"y/n, does Richard scare you?" he asks gently to which you nod your head hesitantly

"well, does he hurt you... mentally or physically?" he continues to which again you just nod.

"both?" he asks in disbelief. You shake your head and back away to look at his face

"no" you squeak out

"then, which one?" you can't even think about it any more so you just break down again feeling like you're annoying Bruce with this whole situation

"I need to hear you say it, sweets" he presses.

you explain with heaps of hesitation what was going on and Bruce's reaction to it all was the hardest part to endure. His lips turned downwards as his eyes started to fill with tears. He looked like a sad lost puppy. His dark eyebrows furrowing in sadness and confusion, him stopping drawing circles on your upward bent knee when he takes in a new piece of information that kept getting worse as the story went on. But overall Bruce listened the entire time comforting you but also not pressuring you to talk about it as he knows that you may not feel up to it right now. He seems to have restricted his physical touch on you because he's not sure if you're completely comfortable with it. He couldn't even imagine that someone would want to do something like that- especially to you! In Bruce's eyes you are the most perfect human being, inside and out. You're bubbly, kind personality boosting your physical appearance was the most comforting presence to him and seeing that all of that has been broken down by someone boils his blood, but most of all makes him feel endless amounts of pity towards you. When you are ending your paragraph, Bruce sees that you are fiddling with the seam of your hoodie sleeve while stalling and not telling him the next part straight away. He realises that this is something you want to keep to yourself for a bit so he respects that and interrupts your jumble of nonsense.

"you don't have to." he coos softly as his left hand that is draped over the back of the couch behind you plays with your hair lightly.

"You have no idea how sorry for you I am, petal. But I'm so so proud of you that you got away from him and told me about it, because that must have been so hard to do. It must have taken so much bravery that I know you have because you are one of the strongest people I know and I applaud you for that. Why didn't you come to me sooner?" you can hear his voice quivering in sadness although he tries to mask it for your sake.

"I don't want you feeling sorry for me, Bruce. But telling someone about a situation like this is unbelievably hard to do. And I thought maybe I was being overly sensitive about it and th-" Bruce had to take a second to process what you just said. He couldn't believe that you would even think that.

"Hey. No. You are not being sensitive about any of this. What you just told me showed how big of an asshole he is, you are definitely not being overdramatic. Why would you even think that?! And even if none of what you just told me was true --which it is-- you have a right to be sad, if he can't see that his behaviour is hurting you then that's enough." God, you were thankful you had someone as perfect as Bruce in your life. If you didn't you had no idea what you would do, you were unbelievably lucky to have him.

"I love you, Bruce, thank you for everything"

"I love you so much more. There's no need to be thankful, anybody would do this for their favourite person" he replies melting your heart for the one thousandth time.

"You can take my bed, I'll stay on the couch. Okay?" he inquires hearing your uneven, lazy breaths and seeing your yawns

"No, I couldn't ask you to do that. I'll go back home it's alright. He's probably asleep now" you try to reason but Bruce was not having it.

"No. That is not happening. I will go over tomorrow to get your stuff and you are going to stay here with me, you never have to see that bastard ever again. You hear me?" wow, he's perfect. You put on a thankful face and throw yourself forward for a hug which he instantly reciprocates and squeezed you slightly, kissing the top of your head.

"Promise me two things?" you ask in hope

"anything" he responds

"one. you don't beat him up when you go over tomorrow." you state which earns a heartfelt soft laugh from him. feeling his vibrations from the sound and the way his body moved when he let it out was one of the best feelings.

"no promises. He did make my heaven on earth feel miserable" he had to stop this or else you're going to fall in love with him....................

"I'm serious, Wayne. And second. You stay with me in your bed. I don't want to be alone. I already felt so alone before this so."

"of course, my love. anything for you." right there and then you felt safe. you knew everything would be ok and Bruce would be there for you no matter what happens like the god he is.

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PT.2 here!

#dc #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #bruce wayne fluff #batman #the dark knight #batman begins #christian bale x reader #christian bale #deadricslover

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