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egcdeath · 3 years

Text

secret santa

pairing: ransom drysdale x f!reader

a/n: this is so self indulgent. SO SELF INDULGENT. more self indulgent than anyone will ever be able to comprehend. before u all read this, i want u to know it was originally supposed to be about training ransom at a job, but then i realized that i nothing about 1. working at a coffee shop and 2. training an employee. also, i am the worst at writing dialogue. so i didn’t write a lot of dialogue LMAO enjoy :)

also, half of this was written at 1 am. just a warning

warnings: coffee shop au, enemies (kinda) to lovers, a lil fluff, not really angst but bitter feelings, kinda slow burn and then all the sudden a fast burn i’m sorry 😭

word count: 2.6k

You woke up to the sound of your alarm rumbling your bedside table sometime around the asscrack of dawn, and rubbed your eyes with a groan. Sometimes, you really couldn’t stand your job, but bills didn’t really pay themselves, did they? You rolled out of bed, and began your dreaded morning routine before heading out to start your opening shift at your local café.

Somewhere between warming up the espresso machine and taking out last night’s trash (which you shouldn’t have had to do in the first place), an older, yet expensive looking car pulled up to the front of the parking lot. You were a bit confused, as you’d never seen this vehicle, and it was quite clear that you weren’t exactly open yet. You watched as a tall man hopped out of the car, wearing a large peacoat and very unnecessary sunglasses. He approached the door, gave it a knock, then waited for you to come open it for him. Reluctantly, you made your way over, and in order to keep yourself safe, began to speak through the glass.

“Can I help you?” You asked in an annoyed tone, then gestured towards the piece of paper that labeled your hours on the door. There was no reason for any customer to be here this early. You looked up at the mystery man and made a rather intense eye contact with him. If this was any indicator of your crowd today, work was going to be far from pleasant.

“Yeah, I was told that I’m starting today?” He had a wicked smirk on his face, like he knew he was getting under your skin already. You hated people like him, and couldn’t believe that he could possibly be your coworker. On the bright side, he probably wouldn’t last long in the first place.

“Well, are you sure you’re here on time? I can’t see any situation where Melissa would schedule to open for your very first shift.” You commented with a furrowed brow.

“Eh, I kinda just figured I’d come in whenever. The girl in my bed was an early riser, so I thought to myself ‘Why not just come in now?’” He said casually.

“Your name?” You inquired, trying to keep your annoyance to yourself, and put on a customer service smile.

“Hugh, or Ransom,” he responded. You turned around, allowed yourself a huff and eye roll, then walked through the kitchen, and into the break room to check if he truly was a new employee, or just some random creep. Sure enough, a bright pink post-it note in very neat handwriting confirmed this man’s existence. You made your way back to the door, unlocked it, and let him in.

“Since you’re here, you should… set down the chairs,” you told him, less than entertained by his presence. You could just tell he was bad news. This Ransom guy was like the textbook definition of a red flag. He talked your ear off while you tried to get through your opening routine, some casual remarks about his last hookup, complaints about how he only got this job because his mother was a regular and good friends with your manager, and how he was threatened to get cut out of his grandfather’s will if he didn’t get employed soon, and what better way to spite your family than to mess up their daily coffees.

Eventually, a few more of your coworkers, along with your manager, Melissa, made it to the café before the morning rush began. You were sitting down at your typical barstool spot, and sipping an iced Americano when Melissa broke the news to you that you would be training the new employee. Upon hearing the news, you audibly groaned, and rubbed your forehead. There was no way that you could handle this man.

-------

During his first week, Ransom not only managed to offer (and successfully give) six customers his phone number, break two mugs, mess up more orders than even Euclid could comprehend, and spill straws a multitude of times all over the floor, but he began to flirt with you relentlessly. You had no idea why you’d become his new target of choice, when it was clear that he could have literally anyone he wanted. Maybe he liked that you were playing hard to get.

If you were being honest, you had to accept that he was handsome. And rich. And the definition of a fuckboy. And since you were being frank with yourself, you had to acknowledge that you were attracted to that ‘toxic and will treat you like shit’ kind of guy. You had a roster of ex boyfriends to prove that for you.

---

It was a pretty slow Tuesday afternoon, which meant you were sitting on your phone until a customer placed an order. Eventually, the little bell above the door chimed, and an older man came through, ordering a dark and bitter drink, then standing by the counter to wait. You began to restock lids while Ransom took care of making the drink, and once it was ready, you passed it over to the man. The man in question took a rather large sip, then promptly spat it out.

“What the fuck is this!” He roared, barely giving you time to react before he proceeded to toss the drink at you, spilling most of the hot content on your apron.

You gasped, gawking down at your scorched and ruined clothing, then up at the customer, who’d turned around with a huff and left, leaving a stream of strong language on his way out. You bit back tears at the whole fiasco, and cringed as both the steamy drink, and your salty tears stung different parts of your body. You turned to look at the barista, who had passed you along the drink, and were met with no other than the white devil himself. It seemed that all the blood had drained from his already otherwise pale face.

“Oh my god, this is all my fault,” he began remorsefully. “Let me make it up to you somehow.”

“Whatever,” you huffed, running a hand through your hair, and shoving Ransom angrily while you more or less stomped into the staff bathroom.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and frowned before bringing up your bundled apron to your face and screaming into it. Stupid fucking customers. Stupid fucking job. Stupid fucking Ransom. It’s like he came to your job just to make it hell. You were tired of cleaning up all these messes for him, and honestly, you wish he’d just quit already. The longer you worked with him, the more tempted you were to pour sugar in his gas tank, then take a club and break all the windows in the Beemer.

------

For the next month, your brain was completely elsewhere at work. Your brain was constantly going back and forth with you between finding Ransom hot and horrendous. While the pair of you finished up closing one night, you heard your coworker begin to speak to you as you placed your hand on the keys in your pocket.

“I know you hate me, Y/N. I get it. What that guy did to you was awful, and yes it was my fault, but what else have I done to hurt you?” He asked, seemingly out of the blue. You weren’t even sure how to respond. Ignoring the man and demonizing him in your head had become almost a second nature. “I mean, I think we could’ve been good friends. Even though you seem to think I’m devil incarnate, I think you’re a pretty cool chick-“ he continued before being cut off by you.

“Why do you even care?” you burst out, “Ransom, you just don’t get it do you? You’re just.. a douchebag. I get it, you have your moments where you’re candid and open with people, but half of the time you’re talking, you’re objectifying someone. Or bragging about something you own. Don’t get me wrong, I could get past what you did to me on accident, but you seriously have to work on yourself,” the words just seemed to pour out without your control. “Goodnight, Ransom,” you said simply before leaving the café for the night.

——

Since that day, the tension between you and Ransom had evidently become more thick. Since he was finally finished training with you, you made sure to only speak to him if you absolutely needed to, and even then, you only communicated with him in brief and straightforward answers. Sure, it seemed like a small thing to be upset about, and sure, he’d apologized, but something told you that any excuse to stay away from Ransom was a good excuse.

Though he appeared to be an immoral and selfish man, he seemed genuinely sorry for all that he’d put you through. Occasionally, you’d be sitting in the break room and look up from your phone to see him watching you. When you’d make eye contact, he would look like he wanted to say something to you, but your petty ass would leave, or look back at your phone. He was bad news anyway.

Your boss quickly caught onto what was going on between the two of you, and usually, Melissa didn’t like to participate in petty drama, but your new sour mood was such a stark contrast from before, and it seemed to shift the whole mood of the café.

That afternoon, Melissa called for a team meeting a bit before closing, and suggested a family dinner along with a Secret Santa. She’d said something along the lines of ‘It’s been way too long since we’ve done a team bonding activity, and a gift exchange is perfectly fitting for the Holiday season.’ This did make you perk up, as Melissa had a great taste in restaurants, and you were always down for a good gift exchange.

Melissa then told everyone to write their names down, then put them in a decorative Santa hat. You and your coworkers obliged, then began to pass around the hat once again in order to draw a name. You really hoped to get Xavier. You had the perfect idea of something he’d love. As you drew a piece of paper from the hat, you imagined the matching pair of fluffy socks for a human and dog that you’d passed by during your last trip to Target. You began to unfold it, thinking of what color he might like the most, when you looked down and saw ‘Ransom’ drawn out in chicken scratch.

You tried your best to mask your annoyance at who you received, but on the inside, you were seething. You mentally cursed the universe out while you pulled on your coat, and grimaced to yourself once you got out to your car. How were you supposed to get this asshole a gift?

—-

The week leading up to the exchange went fairly well for you, although it was getting a bit exhausting to be so mad at Ransom all the time. You tried to be less harsh with him, considering you needed to learn more about him in order to get him a somewhat decent gift for your exchange.

He’d seem to have taken your conversation with him to heart, and began to talk less and less about other girls when he was working with you. He didn’t comment on how well your jeans fit you, and you noticed that he’d often overextend himself in order to help you with (pretty basic) daily aspects of the job. Ransom would ask you questions about yourself, and your family, and speak less about himself. If you were honest with yourself, he was becoming a better man. And the best part was, he seemed to be doing it just for you. The thought of which brought heat to your face.

—

On the night of the exchange, you threw on a hideous and scratchy Christmas sweater before picking up your neatly wrapped gift for Ransom. You truly hoped that he’d like it, even though it certainly wasn’t the most expensive item. You bid farewell to your cat, then went on your way to the restaurant. You had to admit, you were a bit late. So it should’ve been no surprise when you arrived, and found that the only seat left at the table was next to Ransom. You gave him a cordial smile before sitting down and ordering yourself a glass of Merlot.

Something about being so close to him was kind of riling you up. The strong timbre sent coming off of him was making your whole body feel slightly warmer than normal, and you tried to ignore this strange sensation while you talked and joked with your coworkers. At one point, Ransom leaned in nice and close to you, and began to speak to you.

“Jesus Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as hideous as Karmen’s sweatshirt,” he whispered right into the shell of your ear. Maybe it was the wine talking, but that simple action sent a whole chill through your body, and made you flush even harder than you’d flushed before. You let out a little giggle and nodded in agreement, looking across the table at her very ugly sweater.

“To be fair, the whole point of this was to wear something really ugly,” you turned your head back to where it was before, only to find that Ransom had somehow moved even closer to you.

“I just don’t know where you find something like that,” he commented, gazing much too deep into your eyes. You swore you felt the room shift after he began looking at you like that. There was about a 20% chance that you’d be able to keep your panties on after this kind of exchange. Luckily for you, a waitress broke the tension for you, setting down a few plates for everyone, then bidding them farewell. Damn.

The food was amazing, and didn’t last very long, meaning that it was time to pass gifts around sooner than later. You watched as Amy received a gift card from Sophie, Emily opened a plethora of chocolates gifted to her by Melissa, and Xander whiffed a candle given to him by Kennedy, then, it was your turn. You glanced around the table before you felt the arm next to you reach down, then hand you an oversized gift bag.

“I hope you like it,” Ransom said with a shy smile. You casually felt your cheeks on your way to pull out the very large item. You found it was a very large, and soft, hand knit blanket. It looked like it could’ve cost a small fortune, and you immediately found yourself embarrassed.

“Oh wow. This is perfect! Thank you so much,” you grinned over at your coworker, who seemed to be blushing himself. “Well, I guess I should probably give you this then,” you chuckled awkwardly before passing him your wrapped package. He tore it open barbarically, then began to laugh. Of all the gifts in the world, you two had gotten each other somewhat similar items. Sure, it wasn’t hand knit with the love of some grandma who ran a small business on Etsy, but it was the thought that counts.

“I love it, Y/N,” he exclaimed, looking deep into your eyes once again. He ran his fingers through the soft fabric, then set a hand on your arm. In that moment, it felt like time stopped. It was just you two, sitting in a quiet room, enjoying the presence of each other. You don’t even know what had gotten into you, but before you knew it, you felt a nose pressed up against yours, and a billion butterflies erupt out of your stomach. You heard a few grimaces from your coworkers at the sappy, Hallmark-like moment but what could you say.

Maybe Ransom was not that bad after all.

#ransom thrombey x you #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom thrombey x reader #ransom drysdale x you #knives out fanfic #hey i wrote that lol

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darkalleywayexpress · 4 years

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Your destiny is written from the day you’re born.

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Rated M

Warnings: non-con sex, oral, violence, abuse.

This is based off of The devil all the time. Specifically Lee Bodecker. Ideas be taken from the original story of course.

Note: First time writing. Haven’t written before, please give feedback. I don't mind constructive critism. Hope you enjoy! Thanks!

I have to get home before 12:45 am or else – ughh I don’t even want to recall what happened last time I came any later than that. Excuses as my parents say, is not a reason. Even it is a couple minutes later. The chilly wind is blowing straight at my face, the feeling is as though it’s cutting my cheeks. I have to leave the diner right at 12 once done cleaning or else I won’t make it to home on time. Only reason why I hate working closing shifts though, this neighbourhood is not a friendly place, people that should make you feel comfortable don’t give you the warmth that you should be getting. I make a right turn, heading into my neighbourhood three more houses down and I’ll be home, whatever that means. Just before heading in can I see the silhouette of my mother standing by the window on the second floor. She leaves as I set the key into the door. Taking my shoes off so I don’t dirty the floors. I begin making my way to my room and soon prep myself to go to bed and fall asleep right away.

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Cheep Cheep. It must be morning already. The birds are standing along the window waking me up from my slumber. I should get ready before ma and pa, and my five older brothers wake up. They always get mad when I don’t get breakfast ready on time.

One by one they begin filing up the table. All I have to do left is fill up their coffee. I don’t eat until their done eating, since there is no seats available for me. They all leave to work and mom sitting in her usual spot. In front the television. It’s been this way since I graduated high school, I mean I always helped out when I was “free” but now I’m expected to do it all alone. 21, ever since I’ve been 21 my parents are wanting me to get married so I can stop being a nuisance in the house. I’m old they say and if I ain’t married young people will start thinking Im a whore and that’ll be the reason know one would want to marry me. Which literally makes zero sense since my parents don’t even want me to make any friends whether that person may be a girl or a boy. Ha. If they ever caught me with a boy, they’ll easily beat me to death in a blink of an eye. Life here in Southern Ohio is the opposite of a lovely town, it’s like everyone here is borderline psychotic-- no full-on psychotic. All I wish for is to get out of here in one piece, hence why I work at the diner though saving up around 20 or 10 every pay. It ain’t much but it is at least something. I’m expected to give every dime to my father which he spends on himself, mostly alcohol at least that’s what I think.

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Another closing shift today. Customers that start coming in at 3 are first students and as time passes by complete creeps come, though sometimes I am lucky with the odd family outing here. Time begins to fly by as per usual. I made a friend here a girl whom I tend to share my shifts with, Jamila, who is around my age just a couple years older. She knows how my family is and understands why I can’t do all things “normal” friendships do together. Its nice to have someone that is understanding. Though I pretty sure everyone knows my dad is a dick, he isn’t the type to hide it. Taking in pride that he suppresses his wife and well me though sometimes I do question whether people know I’m his daughter. Ding ding. The bell on the door chirms and I check the time since it is getting late. 9:30 am, we still have an hour and half left before we close, all most there. Looking at the people that came in, I noticed that its people from the deputy office, five of them. Looking at Jamila to see if she will be taking them, she smiles, indicating that she will be. I decide to head to where the cook is, so I can help him prepare their orders.

There are two groups. Three customers at one table and well the five that just came in. Looking at the group that has just recently came I notice that amongst the five and well of course Jamila standing and having a conversation with them through many giggles, I notice that the Sherriff is there. The most beloved of the town, hence why he got voted. If you were to ask me, I would say he is quite young to be a Sheriff aren’t they usually around their late fifties to early sixties. Plus, how do people see him as trustworthy his whole aura his cold. His eyes always seem tired and judgemental. I feel like I can shit myself whenever I see him, well any of them but him the most. Our eyes link, holding our gaze to one another. I fluster. Have I been staring for so long for him to notice? Straightening my posture I turn to make my way to the back of the diner.

Jamila seems in a high spirit after her time with the men. “I wanna be married already, waiting at my parents house ain’t getting me nowhere.”

“Marriage ain’t the greatest thing in the world. Being able to stand on your own two feet is though.”

“Yeah, yeah. You say the same thing all the time y/n.” Jamila sighs back at my response. I can’t help but smile to myself, I wish I had the same optimism in life as her.

POV CHANGE

“Ahhhh. Honey make sure you get it all in the cup. We don’t want any spilling.”

“Yes. Ill make sure Lee. Mmmm or should I say Sheriff.” Dragging out the f with her tongue.

She begins kissing up all over my neck. Touching all over my body. Glancing around making sure no one is around to see just in case, I see the girl from the diner straight ahead. Is she walking alone at night back home from work? Is no one taking care of her? Oh my sweet lost girl, someone good must take care of such a weak young women. I pull away the hands on my body.

“I think I should call it a night from here, I got a busy day tomorrow honey.”

“Will I see ya soon?”

“We’ll see about that; things have been getting bust around at the office.” With that she leaves, waving goodbye as my eyes begin following the girl from the diner. I’m just watching to make sure she is alright. I exit my vehicle since I won’t be able to see her from my seat much to long, keeping a far distance so she wont see me. She takes a right, walking into a neighbourhood I stop at the end just before entering. She stops at old Virgil’s place. She looks up and then begins walking up the steps putting her keys into the lock and shuts the door after herself. Huh. That’s Virgils daughter? A pretty dame for such an ugly Pa. Hahaha. Fucking Virgil.

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I couldn’t sleep all night, waking up every so hour due to the aches in my body. Periods, they truly are the worst. It hurts so bad and Ma won’t even believe me when I say so, saying something along the lines of I didn’t have it that bad. But I have a feeling my body won’t be the only ache today. Groaning I get up to head down to start breakfast grabbing another painkiller to help feel better and a robe to help keep my body heated in this cold house.

Breakfast is all prepared by the time they all take a seat on the kitchen table as I take a seat on the sofa in the living room since standing is just to achy. Ding dong.

“ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? Get up and open the fucking door!” Pa screams out the kitchen.

“Sorry Pa.” I get up quickly not taking in mind my pain. Has it rung a couple times? I haven’t even noticed.

“Good Morning. I just stopped by to speak to Virgil if he is not busy.”

It’s the Sheriff. What does he want from Pa? Nobody really ever comes to our house to speak to him.

“WELL WHO IS IT!” Pa screams.

“Let me go call him.” I say to the Sheriff. My body hiding behind the door.

“You go do that Sunshine.” He grins. I shiver in response. I go to tell dad and he gets up quickly from his spot. Taking his Jacket with himself not speaking to anyone as he does.

#lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #dark!lee bodecker #the devil all the time #dark fic

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jawnjendes · 5 years

Text

i don’t know why | shawn mendes

university au a totally perfect summer babey, shawn x goth gf

AN: u know how life imitates art or vice versa???? yeah sometimes i hate that. anyway i thought i was gonna slow down with updates but i had one (1) free day before i move (tomorrow) so here is this do with her what you will

******let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters

masterlist | playlist

In the past, if there was ever a time I could trade 120°F weather for literally anything else, I would have taken it. I would have given anything to stay in Toronto over the summer if it meant I wouldn’t experience heat exhaustion from the moment I stepped outside. I would sell intense SoCal weather to Satan for a single cornchip.

It’s halfway through May, and I still wore a long sleeve and jeans when I went out. It rained sometimes, and when it didn’t, it was cloudy. I could appreciate the coziness that accompanied the weather, but for the time of year, it was also putting me into a weird headspace. I couldn’t shake the feeling of my body unconsciously waiting for sweltering, dry desert heat. I was supposed to be in shorts and a tanktop in my hometown, and Shawn was supposed to be there with me. We were both supposed to be facing the chaos that was my extended family.

On top of that, I was hating having to go to the dealership five times a week. That was all I had going for me now that school was out. I didn’t even work five days during the semester. I never worked in the summer at all in the last few years, and again, I was wearing sweaters in May.

On the bright side, Shawn went to his first therapy session, and it went well for him. Said he had a breakthrough, and ways to combat the night terrors, but he had more that night anyway. I had to time when his body would start twitching, and then wake him up 15 minutes prior. It worked well, and it brought some relief to us and our sleep. I was just glad he was finally doing something about all of this, even if he was still reluctant to talk to me about it.

Sometimes, we were on different wavelengths. Shawn was in the process of getting his perkiness back, and it showed when my pessimism was out and about. There was a balance of light and dark between us, and today Shawn had all of the light.

I decided to go barefaced today. I felt the need to not hide how tired and done I was with the world and its bullshit. My eyebrows were incredibly sparse, and the under eye bags were just a little sunken in. While I was eating solid food again, I was lacking in other nutrients, therefore I was still dropping weight. Why hide it, right?

Shawn just had to point out that I was not wearing makeup, and I just had to take it the wrong way.

“I can’t look pretty all the time,” I snapped.

“But you do look pretty all the time,” he replied, unfazed.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from the bathroom mirror. Shawn was standing next to me, putting product in his freshly washed hair when he noticed my body language.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I have nothing to complain about. I should be grateful.

I left the bathroom and went to change into my uniform. My company shirt needed a wash, but I made a mental note to douse myself in perfume before I left. I was also on my last pair of clean white leggings, which gave me another thing to do when I got home because Shawn doesn’t do laundry. He waits for his mom to come over and do everything for him.

He came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, in his white Sting t-shirt and black jeans. I don’t know why I envied the fact that his only uniform was a stupid apron. Or the fact that he actually looked forward to going to work.

“Okay,” he spoke firmly, “not that long ago, you were pushing me to talk, now it’s your turn. What’s wrong?”

I sighed, not wanting to destroy the last chances I had at pulling myself together before my shift. “It’s nothing. I’m totally happy to be here.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

My skin was crawling with unreasonable annoyance. I wanted to yell at him, and for what? Was it his fault that my insides were the actual worst?

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Then I looked at him, and the underlying sadness started to creep in. “I just miss my parents… and California. I kinda wish I was there.”

Shawn’s eyebrows scrunched together. His tone was something I was not expecting in the slightest. “You don’t wanna live here?”

It didn’t take much to get me back to my angry state. “I didn’t say that,” I defensively argued. “I said I-”

He interrupted me. “No, no. You don’t wanna be here. You don’t wanna live with me. It makes sense, you’ve been moody this whole time!”

My eyes narrowed into a death glare. “What, am I not allowed to miss my hometown? Am I not supposed to be angry that my large intestine refused to cooperate and part of it had to be removed? Should I not be pissed off that I’m eating bland rice everyday?”

He looked more confused than angry. “I think you should be happy you made it, that you’re okay now.”

I scoffed. “I should be happy? I don’t get to go home until December! I don’t get to see my family this summer! It’s almost June and I’m wearing a fucking sweater!”

“Don’t you hate the desert?”

“You don’t understand!” I yelled. Well, I did it.

“What don’t I understand?” Shawn shot back, raising his own voice. “You hate living here, right? You want to leave, eh?”

“I never said that!” My fingers pulled at the hair on my scalp. “I’m pissed that this is how I ended up living with you! And I wasn’t ready to live with you to begin with! I’m pissed that I won’t get to see my family until the end of the year! And I’m pissed that I’m the one who almost died and you’re the one who’s traumatized!”

That definitely silenced him. Shawn's face fell in a way I had never seen before. My rage faltered a little bit, but not enough to take back anything I said. He asked what was wrong, and I told him. I was too impatient to wait for him to say something, so I grabbed my purse and my keys and I was out of the apartment in a flash.

Under normal circumstances, I was very good at keeping my personal problems under wraps for the sake of remaining poised and professional. A customer could yell at me and throw a tantrum, and I'd keep my face neutral and polite. When I ended things with Luca, I feigned composure so well that I was named employee of the month.

But no, a stupid fight with my boyfriend threatened my professional-but-mildly-bitchy reputation! I was able to be polite to customers, both over the phone and in person, but I was testy to any coworker that came within a five foot radius of my desk. The finance, sales, and parts managers all fell victim to my signature death stare at various points in the morning. I was honestly shocked I wasn't fired by lunch.

Shortly after my lunch break, Stacy made her departure, leaving me with Jason and Luca. I gave them the cold shoulder from the moment they entered the office, a signal for them to leave me the fuck alone. They obliged, but they still clowned around at the back of the office.

"Dude," Jason said in his stoned out drawl, "they should replace lube… with hand sanitizer."

Luca chuckled. "The fuck? What'd you smoke today?"

"Nah, dawg," he continued, "replace lotion, with IcyHot."

I had my back to them, so they didn't see the puzzled expression on my face. As if I haven't heard such crackheadery like this before. Sometimes it made me laugh, but obviously not today.

"Okay, I got one," Luca said between laughs. "Replaces pads… with aluminum foil."

"Replace tampons with paintbrushes."

"Or! Sticks of dynamite!"

There was only half a brain cell in this room, clearly. That half was taken by Jason, who had a customer come in asking for him. He left the office, giving Luca a smug look through the small window.

There were plenty of people still in the building. The other managers, sans Stacy, and the rest of the salesmen were running around doing boring business things. I wished I had things to do, like file repair orders in the filing closet that was nowhere near this office. Or add up more gas receipts… Or have a long, pointless conversation with a customer over the phone. I literally wished I could do anything to avoid the fact that I was alone with Luca for the first time in months.

Of course, he could never keep his mouth shut.

"So, did your boyfriend break up with you?" he asked in a teasing, childish tone.

I ignored him and pretended to be busy with car repair orders. I didn't even know how to read them most of the time.

"You know I helped Shawnie boy write a song," Luca went on.

My blood boiled remembering how badly Mercy was ruined for me. The real meaning behind the lyrics messed me up more than I liked to admit. I hadn't listened to that song in months because of him, apart from when Shawn would perform it. Still, spite kept my mouth shut.

"Answer me, you little whore," Luca deadpanned. "Thought we were cool."

No, I do not know where the logic is behind that. Luca's mind was unlike anything I've ever encountered, and I can't believe I used to find it so attractive and endearing. I used to take his degrading name calling as terms of endearment. Maybe it was in a twisted way. But that was then. Now, he couldn't even compare to the man I had now.

Luca grew impatient, and decided to approach my desk. He leaned against the surface, practically sitting on it, and his brown eyes burned a hole into the side of my head.

"That song was about you."

Brand new information!

"And I'm assuming you've heard it," he continued. "So you know how I really feel."

Finally, I huffed out a sigh and looked up at him. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you know it's true and it gets to you." He smirked, showing off dimples that I used to adore. He talked like this was some sort of challenge, and god knows he loved to challenge me.

"You're a lot of things," I said, "but you're not a liar. Why start now?"

"I'm not a liar. You just don't wanna believe that someone could love you."

I really did not know where to start with that. He never loved me because he frequently went to me when he was bored and horny. He never loved me because he didn't want the things I wanted, and instead of letting me go, he kept stringing me along. He knew I wouldn't leave.

I scoffed and got to my feet, not wanting to be looked down on anymore. "You don't know that. You don't know anything about me."

Luca turned his whole body towards me. He was still smirking as he fixed the stupid RayBans perched on his nose. "If anyone's gonna know anything about you, it's me. I know you better than anyone here. I probably know you better than Shawn does. And you hate that, huh?"

He was the only person who wasn't intimidated by my death stare. He was the only person who made me powerless and small. And yeah, I really fucking hated that.

"Oh, so now you suddenly wanna admit that? Now I'm worth something to you?" I spat.

Whatever cockiness Luca had on suddenly faltered. He took a step back, ready to shut down, but I wasn't having it anymore.

"You had feelings, eh?" I asked, internally cursing the vernacular that planted itself into my vocabulary. "So where was all of that last year? Where was all of that when I was tearing myself apart to put you back together?"

"I never asked you to fix me," Luca said. "You just didn't want to fix yourself. I know I was just another person you didn't want to commit to in the long run."

"I wanted you to-" I tried to say, but he interrupted me.

"Oh, I bet you wanted me to be your boyfriend. But I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed. Wonder how Shawn deals with you."

It felt like the glass bubble surrounding me was shattered with a sledgehammer. It felt like the wind was knocked out of me, or like my spirit had been forcibly removed from my body. My face was hot to the touch, and angry tears were threatening to come out of my eyes. Everything around me suddenly turned grey and went in slow motion. This feeling in my chest was dull and aching, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Even when Jason entered the office again, I still felt like I was floating. Luca went back to his desk, and my body moved back into my chair. Memories of finishing up my shift were spotty. This darkness was awfully familiar.

I found myself wandering around Walmart after work. My legs felt numb, but they moved and worked like they should. My breath was constantly getting caught in my throat, and my spirit was just following its vessel around the store. I felt like I could collapse at any moment, and I could just let the ground swallow me whole. I tried looking at the video games in the electronic section to get myself back to normal, but I just felt numb. I ended up buying a stick of deodorant and an ice cream bar I couldn't eat.

Shawn was already home when I got there, and he still wasn't talking to me. There wasn't anything in me that wanted to try to fix that. He needed to sit with his angry boi feelings anyway. My body moved past the living room, where he was sitting watching Netflix. He looked at me, I saw it from my peripherals, but I just silently turned into the bedroom.

I spent the next hour leaning against the wall in the shower, hot water coming down on my back. I had a specific Halsey song on repeat blaring through the bathroom, even though my spirit floating above my body knew it wouldn't help the situation. I just needed to feel something.

"Tell me how's it feel sitting up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?"

Eventually, I was back on Earth, and the water was cold. My limbs ached as I moved around again to shut the shower off, but at least I was feeling something. Once the noise from the running water was gone, I was forced to hear more of that damn song. I still didn't bother to change it as I stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around myself.

"Gave love 'bout a hundred tries

Just running from the demons in your mind

Then I took yours and made 'em mine

I didn't notice cuz my love was blind"

I made quick work of drying off and getting dressed. I didn't bother with putting leave-in conditioner in my hair or moisturizing my skin. I stared down at the sink and processed what went down at work.

"I didn't ask you to fix me. You just didn't wanna fix yourself. I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed."

Shouldn't you want to fix the one you love when they're down? Wouldn't you do anything you can to ensure that the one you love would be okay? Why else would I give up therapy so Shawn could take my place?

Oh, crap. Shawn.

Before I knew it, I was walking out of the bathroom, back to the living room. Shawn was still on the couch, take out box in hand. I watched him eat pasta as I leaned against the doorway. My voice came out raspy and wavering, but still coherent.

"I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Talking alone caused a crying fit to form in my chest and throat. I turned on my heel, not expecting much of anything until-

"Did you eat?"

I stopped in my tracks, but I didn't face him. I cleared my throat before speaking again. "Not hungry."

"Hey, I know we fought, but you still need to eat."

"That's, that's not why…" I trailed off. This was a time where I wanted to sit and cry in his arms, something I never did. (The hospital doesn't count - I was under the influence of morphine.) I knew he was still mad at me, though. I couldn't ask him for anything. The only thing I could do was clear my throat some more.

Mad as he was, Shawn was still persistent. "Do you feel sick?"

Yes, but not the way he was probably thinking. I wouldn't even know how to explain it.

"No," I said simply.

I heard Shawn move from the couch, but I still kept my back to him.

"Is something-"

I cut across him. "Don't try to be nice to me. You don't have to after the way I acted."

"We had an argument, we didn't break up," Shawn said.

Slowly, I turned my head to look back at him. The only thing between us was the doorway. Shawn didn't seem as wound up as he did this morning, but that didn't mean he probably wasn't feeling it anymore. I didn't want to risk another fight.

"I didn't mean anything I said this morning," I told him, my voice still small. I couldn't find it in me to fake composure. "I like living with you, and I appreciate everything you've done for me."

He nodded. "I'm sorry too. I understand that you miss your family. I miss mine, and they're only a half hour drive from here."

If I didn't have this surgery then I would be at home and I wouldn't have been irrationally shaken to the core by Luca's words. I could literally be in my childhood bed right now.

"Yeah," I mumbled, reaching my threshold. "Yeah, I do miss home."

Shawn then waved me over. "Come on. Come here."

I felt like I was going to fall apart as I stepped out of the small bedroom. My knees shook slightly, but Shawn took my hand and led me into the spacious area, over to the couch. He watched me as I sat down. I must have looked like a right mess if he was giving me careful eyes, like I might break into pieces at any given moment.

He got up and grabbed the grey, woolen blanket from the other end of the couch and draped it over my lap. "So… how was work?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I stared at the TV, but I didn't really care about what was on.

"Alright. Do you wanna play Breath of the Wild?"

Tears welled up in my eyes in a split second, and I rapidly nodded my head and sobbed out, "Yeah…"

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #fourtristattoosspring #shawn x goth gf #this was totally not inspired by real life events ha ha ha #i totally did not wander around my local walmart tryna figure out how tf why tf the mf audacity #a bit shaken up but dammit imma keep writing #no ones taking this away from me especially not-#anyway thx for reading i appreciate yall #(so help me jeebus if i end up having to repost this)

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chimchimjiminheadcanons · 6 years

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Temptation/Chapter 2

Word count: 4,590

Warnings: Mentions of a near death incident (very close to a car crash), cursing, drowning, murder, alcohol, poking holes in religions (specifically Christian) and once again, please mention if I missed anything else I should put here :)

(M)/(1)/(3)

“You haven’t even seen the worst of it yet.”

"Hey there little miss perfect." Finally after six hours of working, you're out of that hell hole you call a job. Said hell hole was busy today, meaning you went without a lunch break and your stomach was growling like an angry bear, begging for some kind of food in it. "For the last time," you groaned, "don't call me that." "Then what would you like me to call you?" "Chulgi I would rather die than talk right now." It's kind of your fault Chulgi is even talking to you in the first place. You knew he was working here at the diner tonight and you haven't spoken to him in half a month. You doubted he'd let you get away with that. Yet he did. His shoulders rose and fell and he swung around, back facing towards you while he busied himself cleaning a milkshake glass. "The usual grumpy pants?" You groaned again. "What? You told me not to call you miss perfect, this is the only other nickname that suits you." "I'm not grumpy just... Tired." "You get grumpy when you're tired." "No I don't!" Chulgi snickered, shaking his head and pouring the freshly made (F/F) milkshake into the tall glass and pressing a candy straw down into it. "Since when did you guys start using these?" You poked said protruding straw, Chulgi moving to sit up on the counter beside you. "Since customers started complaining about paper straws falling apart in their milkshakes." "Oh," you made a face at the sugary taste the straw brought to the drink. As if there wasn't enough sugar in it already. "Yeah. I told them all it was your fault we even had paper ones in the first place." "Hey! I just wanted to save the poor innocent sea turtles!" "We're literally as far away from the beach as possible here!" "Doesn't mean the straws won't end up in the water!" Chulgi rolled his eyes. "Fine, but what are we supposed to do about the straws when someone wants one for water?" "No one drinks water with a straw," you retorted. "Plastic bottles are actually half of the problem too so plastic on plastic means dead turtles." "Do you really think people just dump their stuff in the ocean for fun?" "Some people do and whether they like it or not, sometimes it ends up there." Chulgi let out a sigh. The two of you always have conversations like this because of your polar opposite personalities. For some reason being so different means that you get along so well. You suppose all of that opposites attract bullshit might actually be true. Still, Chulgi doesn't do much for his environment, claims to be leaving it for the 'hippies and professionals.' He sees you as the former purely because you like turtles and hate the images people use to guilt trip you into feeling bad about using straws and buying oranges in those weird orange net bags. You suppose the nickname Miss Perfect really did suit you in a way. You've always been a good kid, a goodie two shoes whom most people hated purely because you're good at everything and nice to everyone. Though you find it difficult to believe in higher powers and what they seem to think is right and wrong, you've always tried to do what is good for the world and everyone in it. You like to make as much of a change as you can. "You know," Chulgi slid off of the counter and took the glass for you once it was empty. "Maybe you shouldn't try so hard." Chulgi's words confused you and yet still sent a pang of pain to your heart. You weren't trying too hard... Right? "What do you mean?" "To be perfect y'know? People have flaws and," he paused. "And you don't always have to hide yours with good things like saving turtles." "I'm not trying to hide anything Chulgi." "Yeah well, it really feels like you are. You're not the same as you were in high school, in fact, it feels like you're not the same - even after a month." "I..." "We're closing soon," Chulgi turns his back to you. Inside of his mind, he's insecure. He feels so little compared to you and it feels like being friends with you is only you showing him how much better he could be. But he can't be better, he can't change because it's not who he is. You make him angry - partly because you're so much better and partly because you push every good thing you do on him. "You should probably go." "Chulgi-" "We can talk later." Chulgi untied his apron from behind his back and hung it on one of the hangers and when he turned around again with an apology he should have said dancing on his tongue, you were already gone. He could tell from here that he had hurt you, he had fucked up and he had said the wrong thing. He should never have brought that up, he knows it's just a part of who you are and he also knows that you'll forgive him far too easy. He knows you let people walk all over you. You're too perfect and you're too kind. You're beyond upset. You're sad and angry and confused all at once and all of this piles up when hot tears start leaking from your tired, (E/C) eyes. You didn't even care anymore, storming out on to the road and wiping your eyes at exactly the wrong time. You hear the screeching of breaks and light makes you squint when two large, round headlights shine light on you in the dark of the night. You can't move, paralysed with fear and suddenly, your feet no longer feel the comfort of the ground underneath, someone's picked you up. Things are fading in and out and as you spin you noticed the driver jumping from the seat of his truck. His jaw is dropped, fear and confusion leaving him breathless as he searches for you on the road, but you're not there, you've disappeared and now all you can see is the bright white gummy smile of someone. Nothing else is visible except darkness and that smile. You can still feel arms around your midriff and suddenly, there's nothing and you fall, hard. "Ouch!" There's a lump on your forehead and you can feel it with the soft palm of your hand. You've landed somewhere, somewhere hard yet soft. Something is tickling your nose and when you lift your head and the rest of your body so you can sit upright, you glance around you and notice thick walls of leaves and... Grass? "What the..." You could've sworn you were just at the diner. There's no grass near there for miles, it's in the middle of a city. Yet still here you are wearing the same thing you were wearing before when you almost got hit by a truck. Black sweater and jeans with a pair of docs, laces tied tightly enough to cut off the circulation in your feet (they're a size too big for you, so there's not much of a choice) and hair slightly messy from the long day of stress. You know it can't possibly be the same day, it's so bright here that it's almost blinding. Little do you know its all a chimera, an illusion you are yet to have poked holes in and that's when you notice the figure that has been sitting in front of you this entire time. You speedily jump to your feet, eyes almost falling out of your head at the sight in front of you. A man with blondish silver tinted hair sits on a throne. That's right, a throne and not just any throne either but one just as silver as the strands of hair mentioned previously. The throne had snakes for armrests, fangs dripping a green substance onto the pavement below, pooling in puddles of green. His eyes don't meet yours in fact - he seems completely uninterested in you, instead focusing on the glass in his hand, filled with the same green substance. This particular part of what you can only assume is a maze is on a flat surface while that particular part has stone stairs leading upwards. The throne is higher than all of the maze, almost so high you can't make out the features of said man. Part of you wonders if you should attempt to speak to him or turn the other way and run. Jimin watches you from here. He's perched upon one of the mazes high walls, almost completely invisible to you. Curiosity and wonder are his drives for being here, wondering what you'll do before watching you walk towards an exit. Just as you reached it, a silver gate grew from underneath the earth and blocked your path, shining snake head lock (you have to risk putting your hand in it's mouth to unlock it) protruding from it's bars, spikes making it physically impossible to climb the gate without getting hurt. There is no other escape and it is this shaking of the earth beneath him that disturbs Namjoon. "You're awake," Namjoon simpered. "It's been a day and four hours." Namjoon placed his glass on one of the snake's heads which out of the blue moved and curved around the crystal glass, snake's mouth clasping it and holding it safe, green liquid still dripping from it's fangs and now into the glass. "Come here." You didn't move. Something about Namjoon was sinister, something about him made you fear him and you didn't want to get any closer than what you already were - as far away as possible. It was like your feet were glued to the ground, you wouldn't dare take a single step. Namjoon chuckles at this display of fear. He's never been feared before he's even begun before. "You are already a pain in the ass," he sighs, "it's no surprise that you ended up here." He stands from his throne and you watch as the steps in front of him move to suit each step he takes. It's almost like he's gliding on ice all the way down, he doesn't even need to bother walking. You wonder what he means by ended up here. "W-where," you curse your stutter. Namjoon is getting closer, making your heart beat rapidly in your chest. If it weren't for the gate behind you, you would run. "Where is here?" "Where is here?" Your voice echoes back to you, though it doesn't make any sense. Tall walls of leaves and thorns with twisted black roses should not echo. Yet it does, playing back to you in a way that makes you shiver. Soon enough you notice that Namjoon isn't the same as he was before, his eyes have changed colour from a dark pooling red to (E/C). The same exact colour as your eyes. "How..." Again your voice echoes and Namjoon grins at this. "You're in a maze and one that won't be easy to get out of." You figured as much already so to this you nod. "In order to escape, you need keys. Keys for gates just like the one you seem to think will bring you safety," Namjoon stalked even closer than before and he wasn't wrong, you had backed so far away that your back had almost hit said gate in attempts to get away. "Each gate is different, each key is different and each person you will encounter is different." "W-what do you mean?" "What I mean is that," he points to the snake near your neck. "You need a key from me to get out of here. One that goes right in there and in order to get it, you have to beat me." "Beat you?" "Did I stutter?" You gulped feeling a lump forming in your throat. Namjoon had no intentions of harming you and has made it very clear by now judging by the fact that he hasn't attacked you and though he is getting closer, he brings no weapon with him. Yet that daunting sound of your voice bouncing off the walls is caused by him, an attempt to mimic you for future purposes, said purpose he is trying to explain. "I'm not sure how much you humans believe in heaven and hell nowadays," his hands press into the pockets of the tight black jeans gripping his thighs. "It seems you've all strayed from your path. None the less, you've been dropped right into the maze of the six sins." "Aren't there supposed to be-" "Yes I've heard it before," Namjoon sighed, extending his hand beside him and you watch in terror as the snake - still holding Namjoon's drink - comes alive and slithers towards him. "There are supposed to be seven of us. And that's why you're here." "Why I'm here?" "In a nutshell, yes." He pauses for a moment, lifting the glass to his lips and smirking as you watch the hot, green liquid pour down his throat. "It's a long story that I don't feel like explaining but, if you make it out of here alive, there remains six of us. If you don't, we will gain a seventh." "Will that," you gulped, "will that seventh be me?" Namjoon doesn't answer, only drops his glass as the snake recoils. The crystal shatters and the floor beneath you morphs into a smooth marble. "I think that's enough questions for now." When your head lifts from staring at the tiles, you realize Namjoon is gone. Instead of that grassy maze, tall pillars stretch to hold the high roof and as you look back down again you realize your docs have been replaced by a pair of heels. It feels painful to walk in them you realize as you take a step forward, yet as you continue to walk, it becomes easier to do so. You notice that there's a mirror against the wall on the opposite side of the house and you break into a jog to reach it. It looks like you've travelled back in time, diamond earrings falling from your earlobes and hair long, smooth, shimmering and tied back into a bun on the side of your head. In this bun, a feather is placed in the center and you notice that your chest feels tighter than usual. A corset. It's uncomfortable but luckily, the skirt brushing against your thighs wasn't one too huge to move and instead was made of a kind of black silk trickling down the skin of your legs, showing only the front of it. It felt different, but not bad. Beside you, there's a few oak tables and on the wall there's what you can only assume is a phone. It's different, a dial - one that you recognize from a long time ago - on the side and strangely bulky. Painting's littered the walls, ones with incredible details. This would have to be the house of someone rich a loooong time ago. You glance around the room some more and notice a portrait sitting upon a table and reaching out to it curiously, you lift it from the table and notice a familiar face. It's Namjoon and he's sitting there with his mother and father and by the looks of it, a younger brother. The two boy's hands are folded in their laps, parent's hands on their shoulders and fake smiles pulled as they stare into the camera. Namjoon's eyes look as sinister as you remember, pooling with anger and a red as dark as fresh blood. It makes you shiver and when you look up, you're no longer alone. Namjoon looks exactly like he does now - you suppose that means the sins never age - except in different clothing. It's a suit of some sort and suspenders stretch across his front. You have to admit, he looks incredibly handsome. No. You shake your head. You should not be thinking like this about someone like Namjoon. He's probably - no - definitely at least a hundred years older than you. Gross. Namjoon places the jacket he had slung over his shoulder on a coat stand near the door and pushes a hand through strands of dark black hair. There's whiskey on the table and he pours it for himself, clutching it in one of his strong hands and swirling the liquid around, staring out the window at the beautiful gardens of flowers and grass all around his house. His family is definitely rich. So rich that he's spoiled so then, why does he stay here rather than getting his own home somewhere else? Why is he still with his family? Before you could work out the answer for yourself, a young boy who looks about the age of twelve walks out from the hall. His dress shirt isn't tucked in his pants like the older boy's is, instead it's out and messy and he's holding a stuffed animal to his chest. "Brother!" The child smiles and runs towards Namjoon, bringing a similar smile to your face before you notice how coldly Namjoon addresses his brother. There is no 'hello,' no 'how was your day,' no 'isn't it nice outside today brother?' Just cold. Silence. The younger male wraps his tiny arms as far around the older's torso as possible but Namjoon doesn't move, only sips his whiskey and stares out at the view. "You've been gone for so long! I'm pleased that you are home now." Namjoon turns towards his brother. "You're a mess child, have you been running around in the garden again?" Namjoon's voice is laced with something unfamiliar and angry. His smirk is menacing, yet the child doesn't fear him, only smiles the brightest smile you've ever seen. "I wanted to get flowers for mother, her and father argued this morning and I felt like it might brighten her spirits." "She hates it when you kill all of her flowers," Namjoon hisses and turns back towards the window. "You're so inconsiderate." This makes you frown. Namjoon's younger brother is innocent, trying to do what he thought would make things better and Namjoon has brushed him off, made him feel bad about it. The younger boy's arms slowly grow limp and drop from Namjoon's torso, a notion which makes you almost want to cry. The younger's smile had dropped, instead solemnly looking out the same window Namjoon was. "If you want to do something for mother that will make her happy," the older starts, "start yourself a bath and be clean when she arrives home." To this the younger nodded and disappeared from sight, back down the hall and then into a room on the left. Namjoon stood there for a moment and then a moment longer until he heard water rushing from the faucet and into the bathtub. It scares you how quickly he drops the glass of whiskey to the ground, bronze liquid spilling on perfect floors and again just like you had seen when he shattered the glass earlier, said glass spread beneath his shoe-less feet. He did not care. He continued to walk forwards through the glass and you followed as he stormed down the hallway. Terror and curiosity makes you shiver, especially when he swung the door of the bathroom open and allowed it to hit against the wallpaper covered wall. Namjoon's younger brother was sitting in the bath. His stuffed animal was sitting on the sink and he was talking to it while covering his face with bubbles. It seemed so innocent, so adorable and you nearly screamed knowing exactly what Namjoon was planning. "Oh hello brother, I'm doing fine you don't need to-" Namjoon lent on the edge of the bath and grabbed his brother by the shoulders. Tears leaked from his eyes - much to your surprise - as he pushed the adolescent's head underneath the water. There were screams from underneath the bubbles and the floor was wet from water that had spilled from all of the thrashing and fighting the younger did. Namjoon was relentless, you covered your eyes in fear for the nightmares you would see for the rest of your life as the younger boy's lungs filled with soapy, warm water. "You are the little rat who took everything from me!" Namjoon's voice came out in a yell, almost loud enough to shake the roof above the boys. "They only care about you! They allow you to do whatever you please! They give you more than me and all for what brother! You are the most disgusting creature I've ever known, I'm going to take the life they gave you just to torture me away with my own two hands!" Tears began to leak from your eyes as the fight the younger boy was putting up started to become less and less intense. Water no longer splashed over the edges and though Namjoon's eyes leaked tears too, he continued to push the boy under. "I cannot let things go on like this brother. I will be the center of their attention again. They will only care for me. They will spoil me and love me and never give time to you any longer for a dead boy is no fun is he?" And then the thrashing stopped. There was no more splashing, no more yelling, no more screaming, just daunting silence. Namjoon's breath came out in heaves. He wouldn't allow himself to feel guilt for this. Not now, not ever. He was the one who deserved the attention. He was the one who deserved to inherit his father's company, not that boy. That boy was nothing. Not to him and as selfish as it was, it benefited him so why should he care. A smirk stretched across his face, one that disgusted you when you noticed it. His younger brother only ever gave him love. Only ever cared for Namjoon and his parents, he never cared for himself. Everything he did was right, everything he did was perfect and Namjoon killed him because his parents cared more about the younger, gave more to the younger, payed more attention to the younger. It wasn't fair, so he killed the purest creature to ever grace his life, and now he leaves the bathroom, hands covered in water after draining the tub and leaving the twelve year old boy's lifeless body there to dry and shrivel before his parents arrive home. You shiver, yet notice that you're back in front of the mirror. Thoughts about what happened make you gag and this eventually leads to you shivering, legs wobbling and struggling to hold you up as you throw up into a potted plant near that very window Namjoon kept glancing out. After composing yourself, you look at your reflection again, it morphs to one that looks exactly like you except... Better. This version of yourself is slimmer, eyes glimmering and when she smiles, dimples dig into her cheeks. She stares at you through the mirror and looks you up and down. You find yourself suddenly covering your stomach with your arms and turning from the mirror. Your stomach churns, suddenly feeling lesser than the reflection of yourself in the mirror and soon you realize that the corridor you had taken to running down - heels clacking against the marble and skirt twisted in your palms as you attempt to move as fast as possible away - had thousands of mirrors lining it and in those mirrors was that same reflection, that same version of you that was so much better. She's miss perfect, you're miss boring and suddenly a familiar feeling of jealousy twists in your chest. Pieces of the puzzle come together now. Envy. That has to be Namjoon's sin, that has to be why he mimicked you and why he stole your eyes. He has to have been a normal person once but the scene you saw before explained everything to you. He was jealous of his brother, so jealous that he killed him. And that's how he ended up as the sin of envy. That has to be why your reflection cackles and giggles as she watches you run by, moving from mirror to mirror because no matter where you go, she'll always be there and always better than you. Some sort of twisted understanding dawns on you now. Chulgi must feel like this when you talk about the things you do to him. He must always feel like a bad person and that you're so much better. And it's this that makes you stop at the end of the haul, paired with exhaustion. "You," you glare at the girl in the mirror who seems shocked by the way you address her between broken up huffs. "You are not me. You are not perfect and I don't want to be you." The girl in the mirror's smirk has long dropped from her face as she stands there arms crossed against her chest. "I'm not jealous of you!" Your brain works on overdrive and you start to analyse each and every thing Namjoon has shown you earlier. After all, he's a smart man - you've realized - and he's hidden hints with each word he says, each action he does and maybe it's a lie. Maybe you are jealous of that reflection, that projection of you that is everything you wish you were and more, that reflection of you that is you but without all the things you're insecure about but no one is perfect. Again you realize something that Chulgi has said to you before, you don't need to work so hard to hide your flaws. You're perfect as you are and though it may hurt you to know you'll never be that reflection, you realize that you don't want to be. You really don't want to be. Before you ended up here, Namjoon dropped his glass. He drained it of liquid and dropped it to the ground and as it shattered, you ended up here. Suddenly you realize the way out of here is to do exactly the same thing. Destroy the glass - or you guess in this situation, the mirror. Without thinking, your luckily gloved fist collides with the smooth surface and you come to the conclusion far too late that this action brings with it so many years of bad luck, but it was so worth it to see that false reflection's face shatter, and now you can see the shards scattered on the ground coming back together again. You can see your true reflection and you look so beautiful. At this you kneel, careful to avoid any shards that haven't connected back to the main mirror and stare. Except... Something is different. A key is hanging from the roof, one with a snake shaped handle and you gasp, reaching up and tugging it from the thread it was hanging on. This had to be it. It had to be the key. "I have to say," Namjoon laughed, "you did a pretty great job." You flinched hearing the man's voice. You were back in the maze again, key clutched in your hand except now instead of cowering in fear at the sight of Namjoon, your eyes thin and rage seeps through your body. "You... You killed him!" Namjoon grins and sighs, turning - his back was facing you beforehand - and facing you. "I'm one of the six deadly sins my dear, you haven't even seen the worst of it yet."

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heyitslapis · 6 years

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Ok let's see... its been about 3 weeks since i posted last, give or take a few days. And I'll just say its been an interesting and exhausting few weeks.

Still trying to completely get over my dumbf*ck feelings for Alex. I'm not really doing a super great job at that, and still get random depressive moments that last a varying amount of time, but usually i just push my pity party to the side after about 2 minutes.

On the 3rd of June, Alex went up to see part of her family and join them on a cruise to Columbia. She said wont be back until maybe the 3rd or 4th of July at the earliest. I kinda miss her, but I feel like spending a month physically apart from her will do me some good. Her and i still snap back and fourth to save our streak and to day good morning. Whenever she cant find wifi, she turns on her dad's personal hotspot so she can send me at least one snap to keep our streak rolling (we are the longest streak we have with anyone on our snapchats, and it stands currently at 261 days.) The day after she left the streak sorta died for the day, but she was able to save it cause she was in a different time zone.

Since she's been gone, we've hired several new people at work, many if which being new hosts (thank God tbh, cause this means after theyre all done training and get a couple weeks to get used to everything i can train as a server and hopefully make a little more money). One of them is Giovanni's sister (Gio is a guy that works there. Mostly does dish, sometimes hosts.) And apparently she likes me? About a week before she started they came in to eat with their mom and after they left Gio was like "Dude, i think my sister likes you."

Hey, some random girl actually has a crush on me for the first time in my life? That's cool! Right? It would be, if she weren't 17. If i were still 18 or 19, i wouldnt really care. But now that im 20, even though we only have a 2 year and almost 6 month age difference, i still feel like its weird. I feel like im in a whole new age threshold now that ive hit that 2 decade mark, and she just seems to me like a kid. Anyway, Sammy (thats her) is bi with a preference for girls. She's very forward about asking the girls at work about their sexuality (she'll be mid convo and just be like "wait; you straight?") She makes a hobby of flirting with the straight girls, because as she says it, she can easily flirt with straight girls bc she knows she wont have a chance. As soon as she knows theyre bi or gay, she cant even really talk to them. Sammy flirts with me in excess, has asked me 3 times if im straight, or if im sure that i am (homegirl has only been here like two weeks), and the reason why is because she would happily let me break her heart, and has said thats its too bad im not gay bc if i was she would let me crush her. Also has told me that i remind her of her ex girlfriend, and when i said idk if thats supposed to be a compliment or not, she said "well i really liked her, so..." Oh and btw all 3 times shes asked, I've told her im straight (yknow, bc im not out to the irl general public) and I'll just say that having to lie outloud about my sexuality does not feel that great. Thats not something ive ever had to verbally do before, and now i understand. Tbh i dont really lie, or at least i very rarely do, bc i dont like it, and i want to be seen as trustworthy. i have told my share of lies in my day, but i feel like that was in the top 3 worst lies ive ever told. Simply because i know thats not who i am, yet im saying it anyway.

Besides that, in these last couple weeks ive:

Gotten my computer hacked and almost got scamed out of the piddly $120 dollars total that is in my bank account for me to try to live off of until next Fridays paycheck, and almost got my brother's bank account hacked (looong f*ckin story. Short version, im a gotdang fool, and people are absolute bastards), so now i cant use my computer until i get it looked at, which means no art (sucks bc i wanted to draw myself a bi pride icon)

Put in 103 hours at work in the last 2 weeks

Had our only available car break down twice

Got about half of our kitchen painted. Still need to find time to finish it

Purchased tickets for a convention, and bought almost everything i need to finish my cosplay.

Have a sore in the back of my mouth thats been plaguing me for over a week (finally starting to heal. Its been hurting to do so much as talk, much less eat or drink)

Had to deal with everyone's attitudes at work (some sh*ts going on with the moon and everyones been a pissy ass lately, and im so over it)

The pain in the ass girl at work that we've been trying to get rid of for over a year called in and quit 15 minutes before her literal last shift (Father's day) and our proprietary manager told her "its bullshit that you just found out that your other job scheduled you to work today 15 minutes before you had to come here" and "dont try to come back to this store again". Im ecstatic about it tbqh and feel a small sense of victory about the whole thing.

One of my favorite gays from work had his last shift Saturday night and im still sad about it.

It may not seem like much but its just all around every other day something else small happened to add to the weird and crazy smorgasbord that is my life.

Also bless Sammy bc yesterday was Father's Day, and because of that, i was in the building of my work at 9:45am, started working to get set up at 10, opened around 10:50, and didnt stop until about 8:50pm, 10 minutes before we closed. Our proprietary manager bought us tons of pizza and snacks in the middle of our shift so that we could all take turns having a 10 minute breather, but other than that it was non-stop work and dedication to the customer. At 9:50am my brother went to the Duncan Donuts down the road from us to get the handful of morning people either coffee or bagels or whatever they asked for. I told my brother to get me the english muffin with egg and cheese, and if they had the option, to add sausage to it. Also to tell Sammy i said hi (because she works at that Duncan also, and was there yesterday morning). My brother comes back with breakfast, hands me my food and said that Sammy made it especially for me. (At that time i was also in a bad mood bc i was tired from working four open doubles in a row, and was stressed, so that really lifted my spirits a bit. The food, and the thought that someone made it especially for me.) And i'll just say she just earned my love for the next week at least.

Anyway i think thats all for now loves. I dont have a very eventful life, but i sure do have a busy one.

#my life #avatarkorvira speaks #poor sammy thinks im quote ''really cute'' and ''f*cking adorable'' and im kinda glad she thinks im straight #like her second night training with me she asked how old i was and when i said 20 she said ''damn''#then later when i asked her age (even though i alreadu knew she was 17) she refused to tell me specifically #like shed tell anyone else (including my sister) but not me #and you see at work with certain people ill be like playfully flirty with them just as one of the many ways i show friendliness #like i do it to alex and heather and marissa and molly and several others. but theyre all adults #i know for a fact sammy is a minor. so i told her im not gonna make crude or flirty jokes with her and she doesnt like that #also i just realized that i only joke flirt with girls at work #mostly thats just because im more comfortable with the gals. that and every guy there is either annoying or nasty #and i wouldnt be able to interact with them that way without them making it really gross or thinking im actually hitting on them #and if i ever truely hitting on any of the guys at work someone smack me in the back of the head bc ew #alex #sammy

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aeirwen · 7 years

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A-Z Tag~

Thank you for tagging me, @edenian-princess :) <3

Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put yours in. Then tag up to 10 people as well as the person who tagged you. (I’d rather just retype everything.)

A - Age: 23 B - Biggest Fear: It’s a very vague answer, but being miserable. Like, continuously living in poverty, busting my ass off only to barely pay my bills, living in debt, being unable to take my parents, my siblings, or even my future children/spouse (if I were to ever have any) to the hospital, my family dying slowly because I can’t afford to feed them or give them medical care, living out on the street, begging for money, digging through the trash for food, selling sex for money... Having a man control me for the rest of my life.... Ect... C - Current Time: 9:18 p.m. D - Drink You Last Had: Water E - Every Day Starts With: “All the underdogs in the world, a day may come when we lose. But it is NOT today. TODAY. WE. FIGHT!!” “Not Today” by BTS is my morning alarm. F - Favorite Song: “Draw a Love” by Navi G - Ghosts, Are They Real?: Maybe they are... H - Hometown: Sacramento, CA I - In Love With: Curry Rice J - Jealous Of: Goldfish. I literally have to live with all the shit I had to go through and/or did for the rest of my life. K - Killed Someone: Forgive me, my children (all the original characters I’ve written at some point who either died in story or in stories that I’ve never updated...) L - Last Time You Cried: When BTS won Social Artist of the Year M - Middle Name: Choua N - Number of Siblings: Not including my sister-in-law, 3. O - One Wish: To simply be happy and content. P - Person You Last Called/Texted: My Boss...because...work.... Q - Question You’re Always Asked: “How far in advance do I need to place a cake order?” R - Reason to Smile: My 2D Husbando(s), Kitagawa Yusuke, Kawakami (Becky) Sadayo~, Filipino ice creams, Curry Rice, Chicken Alfredo, Having a home to sleep in, ect... S - Song Last Sang: “Whatta Man” by I.O.I T - Time You Woke Up: 8 a.m. (because my siblings don’t got school no more) U - Underwear Color: White (or black), they don’t have cute, colorful undies in America. If I lived in Japan though, you bet I’d be wearing Wacoal Salute. I’d be wearing going for the win panties and bras everyday. V - Vacation Destination: Other than returning to Japan as a tourist and not a student this time, at home, where I can really be myself and just relax and rest. W - Worst Habit: 11 a.m. during the day, I’ll tell customers to have a “good night” because most of my activities dealing with customers actually happen at night. (Probably not the worst, but the only one I can think of right now.) X - X-rays You’ve Had: Left foot because fractured cartilage. Whole Body because Chiropractor. Y - Your Favorite Food: Because I’m changing my lifestyle tomorrow, this past week, I’ve had Curry Rice for three days straight, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Z - Zodiac Sign: Pisces. <3

I shall tag... @gylentia @cinthias-corner @choro-matsu @ozziescribbles @spark-sparrow @dr3ad-m0on @minminami @everybody

#tagged

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cosmosogler · 7 years

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today mom woke me up before 6 by talking loudly to my brother. then eve and wiley woke me up with an argument before 7. then mom woke me up a full 45 minutes (8:45) before she had said i was supposed to get up (9:30) to ask if i was ready yet or not.

i was pretty pissed. but i showered and went to work. despite the, maybe, 7 hours of sleep.

the guy i was working for, the boss’ son, chad, was super... irritating. he had me using a broken ass web site to write descriptions that conveniently omitted any mention of damage or wear on the items he was trying to sell. despite the fact that the web site gives a clear criteria you’re supposed to mark for any sign of wear.

i mean, the worst that’s gonna happen for the customer is they see the jewelry is damaged and send it back to chad and probably don’t buy anything else from him. it’s a waste of his time and money, not anyone else’s. so i didn’t argue.

most of my day consisted of waiting for the web site to load literally every time i tried to do anything. i did end up having to stop and take deep breaths before i lost my patience.

after i finished the work (he had like 12 items for me to list and besides the waiting it took maybe 5 minutes to write everything needed to list the item) mom suggested i go down into the mall and check out the nintendo switch at the gamestop. mom’s office sits on top of scottsdale fashion square. the one the celebrities go to. i’ve never seen anyone famous there, but i don’t spend really any time there at all. i don’t like being in the mall by myself, but i would never go with mom.

i saw that the gamestop was pretty crowded to i stepped into the pet store on the other side of the walkway. there was a single blind great dane puppy hanging out behind the glass. i saw he was from a breeder and cost like 500 dollars and i got kinda mad. not at the store, really, but at the fact that there are breeders who sell puppies with, like, common and maybe severe genetic defects. purebred dogs are generally not healthy. and they don’t have any control over that and don’t understand what’s happening, and that’s just cruel.

so i walked farther into the store to see if there were any other animals and if it was still visiting hours since it was like 3. turns out that was the last dog in the store and the four cats had come from a rescue organization. one of the cats had had kittens, and all of them got adopted. the cats were being taken somewhere for the evening i guess. maybe back to the shelter. i listened to the employee talk very proudly about what breeds the cats were, and how their lives were going. she asked if i wanted one and i said definitely but my mom doesn’t like cats so we don’t have one. she said she understood.

i poked around a little longer and found some stuff i can put in the dogs’ water that will help with dental hygiene and also apparently ease joint pain and is also odorless. since diogi has pretty bad arthritis and also has poop breath i bought a bottle. i asked the cashier a bunch of questions about it and she gave me a discount when i finally picked something out.

i know there are ethical concerns when it comes to, like, choosing which offspring to have due to genetic preferences. but why bring someone into the world if they’re going to be sick their whole life? wouldn’t you want to give your kids the best possible chance to have a life they like? hampering their progress right out of the gate doesn’t seem... i dunno, i can see why some people would choose to have a kid based on what kind of condition they would be in at birth. but i’m not a good person to ask about that, because i am miserable and have trouble imagining how people can be happy and fulfilled in the first place.

and i know looking at your kid’s genes and deciding whether or not to have that kid can lead to some pretty nasty eugenics stuff. i’m not trying to say all deviation from some genetic “norm” is bad. god, it’s complicated and it’s easy for that control to get out of hand. there ain’t no good answer.

just because i often wish i hadn’t been born doesn’t mean other people should also feel that way.

i got sidetracked. what happened next is that i snuck into the gamestop and hid behind a rack of amiibo paraphernalia. i ended up behind one of the cashiers and when he saw me he motioned me over. so i asked some stuff about the switch, like if it had backwards compatibility or if your purchases from the eshop carried over. i was so nervous i came off like an idiot fake gamer girl. even though those don’t exist? i don’t know if he thought they did or not though, and he gave me a kind of dubious look when i couldn’t immediately recall the gamer lingo i last used maybe six years ago. and i didn’t know some pretty basic facts about the switch, like the fact that it uses cartridges instead of disks. and he compared a new game to f-zero and i said i hadn’t played that one yet, but was looking for it at bookmans. that got me sniffed at by three different dudes at the counter!

he asked if i wanted to know anything else and i totally blanked so i stammered through telling him i’d come back if i could think of any more questions and awkwardly walked over to the switch display boxes.

maybe it would be good to get one for christmas, when there are more games out for it and i can see if i would like more than two of them.

anyway after that i piddled around miserably with putting together some battle box teams on my pokemon game. then mom and i went to dinner with my sister. i ate half my meal before i started feeling kinda sick again, but my sister got a dessert so i had some of that too.

when i got home i refilled the dogs’ water and hung out with eve and the doog. when eve started having what seemed to be a violent dream i called her to wake her up and then immediately felt bad for waking her up. she didn’t seem to mind. she just laid there with her eyes open for a little bit before going back to sleep. when i checked on her again later she wagged her tail and it was really cute.

wiley, of course, wanted to go for a walk, but it was already past 7 when we got home. i will try to get up before 10 tomorrow so i can take him out in the morning instead of after dinner when everyone else is out and about and also the rabbits are everywhere.

oh yeah, on the way to work mom asked if i had done a bunch of other stuff i haven’t gotten around to yet. like, after i had told her what i managed to get done yesterday. i felt kinda put out, like even though i put in all that effort, or at least, felt like i’d put in a lot of effort, it didn’t matter because some other thing didn’t also get done.

and the therapy place is booked through april so i’ll have to call my other option tomorrow. and take care of graduation stuff like getting my diploma mailed home, and find out what’s going on with my tuition.

and that’s what i did today!!! i also realized that the way i’d built one of my pokemon i didn’t actually need to get it to level 100 to change its ivs, because its ivs were fine. so that felt like a waste of time. at least it was just one of them out of the ~40. when i finish getting all of these guys leveled up i’ll have to look through their stats and prioritize. i do like having a project, even a really nerdy one like pokemon.

the competition in april is going to be doubles battles. i’ve found that i really prefer the speed micromanaging and overall faster pace of doubles battles to singles, especially when there are four players involved. since it’s a doubles battle i will feel more comfortable doing some setup. i’m going to see how a trick room team will do.

in competitions, for singles battles you can only choose three pokemon, so it’s kind of not worth it to spend time setting up a gimmick. you don’t have as many options to work with if your opponent can counter your first guy. but in doubles, you pick four pokemon, and you send out two guys at once, which means you can attack and set up on the same turn and don’t have to waste valuable turns switching your pokemon. setup stuff like weather and trick room only lasts a set amount of turns, so if you have to spend a turn switching your pokemon, that leaves that much less time that you can operate effectively in.

in retrospect, that explanation wasn’t really for anyone’s benefit. i already know what i’m talking about, people who read this and know pokemon won’t need the explanation, and people who read this and don’t know pokemon will probably still have a hard time following. but i’d feel bad if i didn’t at least try to explain the jargon.

basically i like doubles battles more because i am much better at them.

that took ten minutes, and now it is after 1. so i’m going to get ready for bed and maybe continue rambling tomorrow if i find i have something more to say. take care of yourselves.

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diegoqdmaleagp31insurance-blog · 5 years

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insurance cost for car

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insurance cost for car

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smokeybrandcompositions · 5 years

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Nope

So, story time. Sprint is the worst place i have ever worked. It's not the hardest place or the most employee unfriendly, but it is the worst. I started there way back in 06? I think it was 06. Maybe 05? It was before i moved to Arizona. In fact, i think it was that job that funded my trip. I'm not going to get into the assholes i worked with there, that's a story for a different day. No, today, we are going to talk about why i keep getting settlement checks from these assholes some, what is this? 14 years after i quit.

I was originally hired by Nextel. For those of you who are ghetto inclined, that's the "chirp". Look, the "chirp" is stupid, especially when there was voice dial and speaker but dummies think it's cool so whatever, right? Nextel got bought out by sprint a pay period after my paperwork went through so my store became a prototype store for the “new” company, Sprint Nextel. We were the first to do the whole Sprint on one side, Nextel on the other. It was dumb. Our clientele was dumb. If you've ever worked at a Gamestop, you get these cats that come through in august screaming at the top of their lungs, "Yall got dat Madden?" Of course we do, asshole. We're Gamestop. I had cats doing that but instead of Madden, it was the "chirp". " Yall got dat chirp?" Of course we do, asshole, this is a Nextel store. Or rather, Sprint Nextel at the time.

So i got hired under Nextel terms, which were hilariously more generous than Sprint. More on that later. When the merger happened, they tried to downgrade me but f*ck all of that. I mean, they DID downgrade me and tried to act like they didn't but i had gotten a check stub from Nextel beforehand and could do basic math. A few litigious threats later, and i got to keep my given wage or, more accurately, returned to me. It took months but i ended up getting a check for my back wages and sh*t, too. That was ONE settlement. It was, like, 1700 or some sh*t.

The next check came a few years later, like, four. Apparently, Sprint decided not to cash out for sick leave of vacation. They just decided not to do that. We were accumulating it, just not getting it cashed out or some sh*t. I didn't take sick leave or even know about the vacation thing because i was just shy of full time. I got like, 31.5 hours a week or some sh*t. In California, you need 32 to be considered full time and 32 gets you full benefits. Sprint was like, nah bro. Since i was "part-time" i didn't think i qualified for any of that stuff. Apparently i did! I found all of this out after the fact because, again, never took the stuff. I should have gotten cashed off when i quit with all the accumulated vacation and/or sick leave hours but nope! Sprint just didn't do that. So one day, i get a check for that. I think that one was 800 or 900. Shenanigans, right?

This next one came about a year later. This one was for the fact that they didn't pay overtime! N*ggas WORKED the OT, they just didn't get PAID for the OT! I, personally, never worked the OT. I didn't give a sh*t enough about that gig to do any of it. For the responsibilities that i had been given, i was grossly underpaid. I wasn't doing anything extra and, to be real honest, what i was supposed to do, i purposely did poorly. Like, I half-assed everything. Seriously, they wanted me to get new subscriptions. Bare minimum. But i sold the hell out of accessories because i got a tangible commission on that sh*t. More on that later. So, apparently, it was pretty common to work 60 hours a week in our district. I wouldn't know, my "manager" never gave me more than 31.5 so whatever, right? His name was Moises. We called him "Moist-ass". To his face. Repeatedly. In front of customers. And his f*cking wife. F*ck Moist-ass. Still got a check, tho! 700 bucks that time!

So i mentioned i fought to get my Nextel wage earlier, right? Yeah, apparently, that Sprint wage was higher and they lied about it to all of the merger employees.I was under the assumption i should have been making one thing, b*tched about it to keep that wage, when the whole goddamn time i was supposed to be making a substantial amount more an hour! Like, we had to go to Sprint corporate to fill out paperwork and literal executives were lying through their teeth to me about how much i was supposed to get paid. Apparently, the loot they didn’t give us, went directly into their pockets as bonuses or some sh*t. That was in the merger deal! We employees didn't know sh*t about any of that! Terms weren't disclosed so, to my surprise, about three years after that 700 dollar check, i got one for, like, 500! I don't really know the details on that one. I just know i got another check out of the blue.

Today i get the mail, and there's ANOTHER settlement check. I don't even know what this one is for. I think it's for commissions because i heard there was a soft cap on your dollar amount and anything over that, you didn't get paid for. I imagine they treated it like they did the pay differential and just pocketed the loot. MY loot. And you KNOW i sold my ass off for them delicious commission dollars! I sometimes doubled my check with all the bulllsh*t i convinced people to buy at point of sale. I could sell water to a whale, real talk! I just didn’t get paid for it apparently.

So, yeah, Sprint just stole from us, every chance they got. And they got got, every chance they got. And they’ve been paying for it for years. You’d think after the first million dollar settlement, they’d have learned a lesson. Nope! But it’s cool. I’ll keep cashing their checks when they come. It’s long overdue.

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smokeybrand · 5 years

Text

Nope

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blogdangerousobjectcollecto-blog · 6 years

Text

About how much will ensureance cost me?

"About how much will ensureance cost me?

Heyy ya'll, I'm 15 (ill be 16 next month) and I'm saving to buy a car next year! My mom says since I'm young they're going to charge me more for insurance, so what I want to know is about how much will they charge me a month since ill be 17 when I buy the the car?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I got a ticket today for no insurance. I know I can go to court and show proof of insurance and just pay court costs. After I show the court my insurance card, are they going to contact the insurance company to make sure it is valid? I'm sure you know why I am asking.""

Can i have a car without insurance and not drive it ?

hey im gonna get a car soon, so my q is this can i get a car without insurance and keep it outside my house till i get insurance? wont drive it till i get insurance and i havent got a driveway or anythiing so it will beon the road thanks""

Help! I need medical insurance! ?

I have asthma with a history of mild depression. I am look for an affordable health insurance. I am 19 years old. Please help!

WIll my mom know if i go to planned parenthood under her insurance?

I am 18 years old and under my mom's insurance. I want to go to planned parenthood, but don't want her to find out. I can't afford to pay on my own, but if i use the insurance, would the insurance company notify her?""

How much would lowering my mileage by 5k save me in california?

So being a teenager(19) and a male with a ticket I'm paying around 900 for insurance. Tickets my fault I accept the punishment. However, I switched jobs and After calculating distance I'm only going to be driving around 5000 miles rather than the 10 on my insurance. Just kind of curious how much the mileage drop could save me since my insurance agency isn't being much help.""

Health insurance for full time college student?

I realllyy need to see a doctor about some issues im having with my health, but the onlyproblem is i dont have insurance... Are there any affordable insurance plans i can get??.. im a full time student and i really need it.""

Is AAA only car insurance?

I am wanting the benefits of AAA, but I don't need more car insurance. Is it a monthly fee to have the benefits, or do you HAVE to have their insurance for it? I want to pay for the benefits before driving across country in a few months in case something messes up with the car. Thanks!""

Where can I get babysitting insurance in the UK?

I have scoured the internet but keep being told they won't give me babysitting insurance unless I am a registered childminder. Help please?

Are the extreamly wealthy required to have driver's insurance?

e.g Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Donald Trump... Assuming that they are proverbial multi-millionares/billionares who and can easily prove that they would be able to pay any conceivable liability costs out of pocket if necessary.""

How can I lower my auto insurance rate in California?

Details: Licensed at 19/Now 25yrs old. I have a clean record but can't afford full coverage because it's in the thousands. Is it pricey for me because I'm Asian? I don't get it, I hear about people being fully covered for a whole year for less than $1200, but I only have basic coverage and I'm paying $1100 per year. Can anyone help?""

How much money insurance can offer my car severely damage in accident 1999 Mitsubishi diamante 132000 mileage?

some one hit in front while i was waiting to traffic pass , i have aaa and they have state farm insurance.""

What is the best Life Insurance company?

I'd like to get my mom some life insurance as she just turned 61. I'd like to know the cheapest/legit place to get life insurance for her. Any suggestions?

How do doctors actually pay for liability insurance?

On studentdoc.com, the salary survey stated that the average OB/GYN made roughly $238000 a year, but some sites I have looked at show that they also pay $50000 a year (in florida, that rises to $100000) for malpractice insurance. Even for other practices, such as pediatrics and internal medicine, the rate is usually $30000+. This is a huge amount of money and really, after paying student loans, mortgages, taxes, and etc, how much money do doctors actually take home? Surely not all doctors actually pay for their premiums. Specifically, how much would a pediatric surgeon pay in malpractice insurance in California or Illinois? Just some food for thought.""

MetLife Dental Insurance...?

Does anyone know how this insurance actually works? I got this insurance through my employer (haven't had insurance in a LONG time!!), and from what I'm reading...it sounds like you have to pay for services up front, and then they reimburse you?? Is this how it works, or am I mistaken? I'm so confused, and really want to go get a general cleaning and exam....but don't have the money to pay for it when I go!""

Will getting a refund on extended warranty and GAP insurance cause my interest to go up?

I just purchased a used car with 30% down payment. I noticed they charged me for GAP insurance and extended warranty and I asked them take it off. They are arguing getting a refund on them will cause my interest rate to go up because they used the purchase to bargain a lower interest rate. Is this true? If so, do I have to accept the higher interest rate? They say I can't return the car because it was already signed for but I don't want to buy at a higher interest rate either.""

Should I open a whole life insurance policy or a 401k first?

I met with a financial consultant who told me that the 401k is the last thing I should start. She says it makes more sense to open the whole life which compounds 8% return on my money yearly and pays a yearly dividend. Which is smarter to do first?

Would i need car insurance?

(Only open to UK) i am a provisional driver using my dad's car. My dad is with me at all times and he has fully comprehensive insurance, i have been told that this then covers me also, is this correct or will i need extra insurance?""

Bankruptcy and life insurance?

I have plain old life insurance with my husband as beneficiary. Do I have to cancel life insurance if I file bankruptcy? I want to have this for security for my husband and five children should anything ever happen to me. It has no cash value.

How much does will my insurance pay? My car was totalled?

My car was in a serious accident, and is irrepairable. The insurance company is coming down in a day or two to check out the car. I was no at fault, police are still looking for the guy at fault. However, my car is done. Will my insurance company give me the value of replacing a car like that, like if I were to buy one again, or would they give me the book value?""

Can I buy salvage cars from insurance auctions and then resell them as-is using a seller permit in California?

I want to know if is legal to use my sellers permit to buy totaled cars or salvaged cars at auction to the resell them (as is) in ebay. would i need a dealer license if I selling more than 5 a year?

I'm 27 years old and I wanna get life insurance ? Any thoughts on which type i should get . ?

simplify your answer please .

Arizona Law on insurance pulling your driver record ?

does anyone how long (in term of years) can an insurance company pull your driver record? i know here in Arizona i can pull my record from servicearizona.com for 39month. but some people tell me they can pull up to 5 years from your record.

About how much will ensureance cost me?

More to pay for tesco car insurance after 1year?

I have tesco car insurance and now after having 1 year tesco car insurance they wanna increase me to pay more monthly . why ? I have same car and same conditions . should i change car insurance?

Would teen car insurance be expensive for a 2007 honda civic hybrid?

I am a new driver with good grades and took drivers ed. Will the year of the car affect my insurance rates? Would another car be cheaper? Would being on my parents policy be less as opposed to having my own?

Insurance stuff?

I have a first insurance right now, and medicaid as a second insurance. My husband still has a job but his contract is being taken over by another company, will medicaid cover the bills until i get his new insurance started?""

Car insurance question?

My car is currently under my parents name any under my parents insurance. It was a gift from my parents but we never bothered changing the ownership over and it wasn't a big deal since we live in the same home. I am planning on moving out soon, do I need to have the car put in to my own name to get my own insurance and to make it legal? I've heard that continuing to pay through their plan without living in there house would make it void. If I don't change my ID right away would it still count as me not living there?""

Huoniao 125-8 Insurance?

I'm buying this bike in a couple weeks time brand new. And I was just wondering what insurance is best/cheapest for a 17yr old rider. Thankyou! Also i've heard about this company called Rampdale, it's cheap, but apperently they completely **** most riders over?""

Will a car thats registered as non op and has a salvaged title cost more for insurance?

Health Insurance - Cobra?

If you quit your job can you still get Cobra? Is there a time period that you need to have insurance thru your employer before you are eligible for Cobra?

Driving from california to texas?do i really need insurance and a license?

im moving from california to rowlette,texas in two weeks but the problem is im going to drive out there its going to be me and my bf the thing is the car is under my name & i have the tags & papers but i don't have insurance & my license.Is this a big deal can i still drive out there as long as i drive carefully well im not driving its my bf his better at driving & he has his permit but im 18 & they say he can drive with a person 18 and older.what can i do i already called the insurance company & the lady said its not worth getting insurance if its only for a few weeks cuz when i get to texas i have to get new insurance.What can i do what do you guys recommened i do...i think that i can get out there without the legal stuff like insurance & a license..my sister drove all the way to arizona with no license & she didnt get caught cuz she drove carefully...""

Insurance and car accident.?

I was involved in an accident in which I struck a vehicle in the rear on 11/15/2004. It was not a bad collision and I was starting to walk-up to ask the driver of the other vehicle if he was okay, when a car rear-ended me and then two more cars hit that vehicle pushing my jeep under the vehicle which I had hit causing severe damage in excess of $3500. My insurnce payed the driver I hit, but I have not received a dime from farmers insurance. I placed a call to the insured vehicle that strcuk me and they told me to use my insurance company to hash-out all the details and to collect funds for repair my vehicle. I told this to my insurance agent (Progressive) and they said they would do that but I didn't have full coverage so that will not happen, I need to deal with the other partie's insurance companies. I have no Idea where to go from here. If I had the money, I would get a lawyer and I am sure that I would have this resolved right now. Does anyone have an idea for me? peace""

Whats the average cost a month for car insurance in california for an 18 year old?

With no health insurance . . .?

How come I have to pay full price with cash, but if someone has medicaid or some other type of health insurance, the insurance company only pays (for example) $52.00 of an office call that I have to pay $80.00. Isn't that discrimination to people that pay cash?""

CAR INSURANCE FOR FEMALES?

CAN ANYONE SUGGEST CHEAP CAR INSURANCE COMPANIES

Can I take my car to get repaired anywhere even if my insurance says no?

I got my window broken when someone broke into my car and I had an appt at the dealership where I bought to the car to get it repaired ASAP (and was going to) but my insurance nixed the idea. They said they wouldnt pay a dime if I did that. I HAVE to go to their suggested business. Now I have to drive to and from work with a taped up window for 2 more days till THEIR guy can fit me in. Is this legal??? It seems so unfair. BTW- I have Mercury auto insurance and I live in California.

Car insurance victim?

last year i had the police turn up at my door saying that i had hit a car roof with a claw hammer i didn't no what they was going on about i did not get arrested and they left, few days later i got a insurance letter thur the post saying that i had collided with a bmw and drove off leaving the seen, there insurance paid him out 5000, i spoke to my insurances and said i don't no what is going on they asked for pictures off my car i sent them, i phoned the police and asked them they said there is no further action is to be taken as the person as dropped the chargers, so i phoned there insurance and they said we are waiting for police reports, i said the police are not taking it any further as the person as he had dropped the chargers, they did not believe me and wanted me to pay 3500 in 14 days i said no, i lost 3 years no claims and my premiums went up, i just had to wait for months :( i got a letter today off there insurance saying we have had the police reports and there is no further action against me or my insurances... ok what will happen to the person what made up this lie to his insurance as he told the police one thing and his insurance another??????""

""I am starting a Cleaning service, I need to be insured can some one help me find good affordable business ins?

I need to find a insurance company that will have some affordable business insurance it will only be my self and 1 other person please help!!!

""How can i get insurance if my car cost 20,000?""

How can i get insurance if my car cost 20,000?""

How much to insure 2004 corsa 1.2 sxi?

I am 18 years old and unable to get a quote for some reason. I was wondering on average how much woul it be to get insurance on a 2004 corsa 1.2 sxi, on my parents name?? Does anybody know if it would be more than 2000??""

Does anyone know how much tax and insurance would cost for a 17 yr old learner driver?

""Recently hit by another driver, got estimate for his insurance company. Not sure I should repair for that cost""

My car is a 1994 Lexus ES300 with 125,000+ miles on it. I would say it is in good or fair condition, the leather seats are cracking badly and it has a few scrathes, etc. I'm just wandering if it is in my best interest to repair this car or for it to be totaled out. The estimate for repairs in $3500.00, which could always go up once repairs start for unseen damage. I'm just not sure the car is worth repairing for that amount considering its condition. The damage is to the drivers side rear panel which is now rubbing something when I turn either way or go over any kind of bump in the road. The estimate does not consider repair for that since that could not be seen by looking at the vehicle. They are also saying the paint can't be matched perfectly because of the fading caused by sun and weather over the years. With everything considered my resale value is not good. I did want to sale this car at some point and get newer car.""

Who offers the best and most affordable medical insurance?

i am a 19 year old female from southern california. I work full time and not currently going to school. my job does not offer medical benefits i would like coverage asap. please help me out!

DUI - charged but not convicted (yet) do I need to tell my insurance now or wait until conviction?

How does health insurance work in the USA?

I wanna visit but I keep hearing crazy stories of how going to a hospital makes you bankrupt :/

Should Military Buy Private Insurance?

Bad press, including major mockery of the plan by comedian Jon Stewart, led to President Obama abandoning his proposal to require veterans carry private health insurance to cover the estimated $540 million annual cost to the federal government of treatment for injuries to military personnel received during their tours on active duty. The President admitted that he was puzzled by the magnitude of the opposition to his proposal. Look, it's an all volunteer force, Obama complained. Nobody made these guys go to war. They had to have known and accepted the risks. Now they whine about bearing the costs of their choice? It doesn't compute.. I thought these were people who were proud to sacrifice for their country, Obama continued I wasn't asking for blood, just money. With the country facing the worst financial crisis in its history, I'd have thought that the patriotic thing to do would be to try to help reduce the nation's deficit. I guess I underestimated the selfishness of some of my fellow Americans.""

Home insurance?

I am not sure how much home insurance coverage I should have for the house I bought 2 years ago. The cost of the house including the land was $96,000. But that includes the price of the land, etc. I now have to renew the home insurance policy and realized maybe I should reduce the amount of the coverage from $96,000 to around $80,000. The dwelling amount for the insurance has been the price I paid for, $96,000. But if something happens and the house needs to get rebuild, the cost of building should not be as high as $96,000. I currently owe mortgage $70,000. Do you have any recommendation? I do not know if I can ask the insurance agent to reduce the dwelling coverage. But I am hoping a way to save money on the home insurance. Could someone give me an advice? Thank you.""

Auto Insurance?

Can a person have auto insurance in one state but live in another?

About how much will ensureance cost me?

Insurance cost for the following car: 2007 Pontiac G6 GT?

I am a teenager and I am buying a car and would like to know an estimate on how much this insurance costs before I call them up. Car: 2007 Pontiac G6 GT, Convertible, 3.5 L, 6 Cylinders. Title: Va - Salvage I originally wanted to buy a 2006 mitsubishi eclipse, 2.4, 4 Cylinder. I know the eclipse is a better choice, But auctions for the eclipse will end for quite a while on the website we are purchasing the car. And I need a car now, because it will take us a while to fix up the vehicle (Buying proken, and repairing)""

How much would full coverage insurance cost on a 1965 Silver Cloud 3 Rolls-Royce?

Male driver, clean driving history.""

I am 18 years old and i want to buy a used car but the insurance is too much for my budget?

it would cost me around $7000 for 6 months of coverage can someone please give me some advise on this matter?

How much does insurance cost on super cars??

How much does insurance cost on cars like Ferrari, Lamborghini, Lotus, Bugatti, etc.""

How much would my car insurance be?

I'm 16 years old & a female. I am 5'5 & weigh 150 lbs. I am purchasing a USED 2003 Audi A4 Quattro Base Sedan 4-Door 1.8L ; I was wondering what the estimated car insurance would be for me so I can start by getting the right idea of how much I would need to save each month. Thank you. :)

Would this be legal ? start own car insurance company and insure self.?

We were talking about the price of car insurance at work today about how the cost is becoming ridiculous. I came up with this idea its entirely hypothetical but it got me wondering if it was possible. Just say i started and registered a insurance business. I offered 3rd party only insurance to my close friends and family people that i know personally are careful drivers.Say 50 people get a years cover for just 100 and i insure my self for free. Now i know what you might be thinking what happens if some one has a bump? Well i have 5000 in the business account so it should cover minor repairs however and hear comes the is it legal part if someone puts in a large claim that i cannot cover.Say my grandma writes off some rich mans Bentley. I just declare the company bankrupt ! Thinking about it its not to different to what the bankers have been doing .

Can you help me find scooter insurance?

Hello I have a 125cc scooter,i live in the u.k,does someone know where I can get cheap scooter insurance and link me to the site you got it from thanks josh""

Motorcycle insurance in Guam?

Individual has military orders to Guam and is ONLY shipping a motorcycle (no POV). Most company's I've called will only cover auto insurance and let you add a motorcycle policy to make a combo. Does anyone know of independent motorcyce insurance policies covering overseas (particularly Guam) without having to insure a vehicle along with it? (I've tried most big named companies and even the independent companies on the island, and so far no luck!)""

Cheap Auto Insurance in FL?

I'm 19 years old and I got my license in Sept of 06 (almost a year) My insurance is REALLY HIGH! By myself I am looking at around 700 a month (my car is Fianced, 04 Mitsu lancer ES) so I am put under my 22 year old boyfriend insurance. With his 02 Audi A6 and my car, we are paying 495 a month. (South Florida) (Esurance is who we have) We have called Geico and Progressive adn State Farm and nothing is giving us a smaller quote. Does anyone know a good insurance company that is cheaper with students, new drivers, etc..? We also do not live in the same household, and some insurance agencys will not cover us for nothing living together. But anyways, just let me know if you know of a cheaper insurance agency. Thanks.""

How much is car insurance?

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old teenage boy as I'm learning to drive and want to buy a car at some point?

Which good websites give feedback from people on car insurance companies?

I am taking out a car insurance policy. What websites are appropriate for getting user feedback on different car insurance companies e.g. then I can make my mind up if there are serious flaws internally based on user experience

Car Insurance?

I am in the process of my my own car. I have been sharing my dads old car with my sister. I am 21, I got my licesnce when I was 18, and I have not yet had it three years. My dad called the insurance company and they told him it would be over 2600 paid in full because I have not had my liscence for 3 years, and in January it will drop. is this true, or does he just not want me to get a car?""

Home Owners Insurance?

My wife and I are planning on buying our first home and are currently shopping for mortgages. As a first time home buyer I am a little bit confused about a few things and I thought I just ask here :) One of the mortgages we looked at (online, from our CU) listed a Hazard Insurance Monthly in the Prepaids & Reserves section (which is part of the closing cost). - I am aware of the need of Homeowners Insurance, but does that include or exclude Hazard Insurance? - The monthly rate for Hazard Insurance was listed as $1,900. That seemed extremely high to me, so my question is: What is an average amount for Hazard Insurance (or Homeowners Insurance in general)? FYI: The home we are looking at is located in the SF Bay Area and will have a value of approx. $700,000. Any comment will be appreciated...""

Car Insurance?

I wanted to know how much would it cost for a 16 year old teen to get car insurance just to cover damages to someone elses car they damaged would it cost alot or not?

Car insurance for an ocassional driver..?

I am 17 years old and I am getting my g2 class license in a week. I plan on going as an occasional driver on my moms car which is a 2002 or 2003 Ford Cougar. Does anyone know what the price of insurance would be a year approx? I know she pays about $120 for car AND house insurance... for an occasional driver on a red 2002 or 2003 Ford Cougar (red sports car) how much would insurance per year be? Any help would be great thanks!!! :)

""My father has been here in the usa for 25 years and has diabetes, obviously he cannot get insurance because he""

my father has been here in the usa for 25 years and has diabetes, obviously he cannot get insurance because he wasnt born here on usa but he has diabetes really bad and serious, does anyine know how i can help him get medicine? some type of program maybe? or how much does the top diabetes medicines cost? i would appreciate any kind of help.""

Renault Clio insurance for a 17 year old girl in Coventry?

I turned 17 last week, and plan on buying a Renault Clio for less than 1000, (about a 2001 reg). I have trauled all over the internet and cannot really find a decent quote anywhere, so I was wondering what an approximate cost of insurance would be? Thanks! Or if not, what are the best suggestions for a first car? Cheap insurance very important!!""

What are some affordable health insurance plans?

I am 20 years old and do not have health insurance and I need to get my wisdom teeth pulled! So i'm looking for an affordable health insurance.I've already applied for Medicaid and was denied.I need help please!

What is a semi fast car that has a semi cheap insurance rate for a 16 year old new driver?

I am trying to find a car that is fast enough that i can have some fun in but im not going to be spending a lot for insurance. I also want to have a car htat would be good to hook up.

A question regarding auto insurance?

even though I have no need of a car/cant afford one, my parents are still pushing me to get a license as soon as possible because they say it will reduce your insurance cost when I eventually do get a car, are they right? thanks""

Maternity and Health Insurance?

If you have health insurance but do not have maternity insurance. Does the health insurance cover any of the hospital. etc fees? Example...Hospital stay?

TSC Direct Car Insurance?

Does anyone have any experience with this insurance? I have seen lots of ads for it on the subway. Got a quote today from the website and it is waaaayyy less than what my boyfriend is paying with Geico. Good reviews? Bad reviews?

What is the best and most affordable car insurance company in New York?

Particularly NYC?

Car insurance? will it go up if no claim is made?

son had car accident, was on partners polcy, wrote car off, no other vehicle was involved, insurance company have found out about the accident somehow (due to one of these no win no fee companies getting his details as he had a passenger in the car who was not injured, but who had not contacted them ) son is 18, wants to get on the road again, but we are worried about how much insurance will cost him. we havent claimed for his car either, can any please advise""

Insurance copay question?

My girl and I each have our own separate health insurance plans through our respective employers, she recently gave birth to our first baby ( we're not married ) She used her insurance plan to cover the hospital fees and we expect to pay about twenty percent of the bill as a copay. Would MY insurance help cover all or part of said copay? I'm guessing it will be about two thousand dollars. Thanks in advance for your help.""

About how much will ensureance cost me?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-rear-ended-california-insurance-anyhting-can-do-fred-huntley"

0 notes

webanalytics · 7 years

Text

The Artificial Intelligence Opportunity: A Camel to Cars Moment

Over the last couple years, I’ve spent an increasing amount of time diving into the possibilities Deep Learning (DL) offers in terms of what we can do with Artificial Intelligence (AI). Some of these possibilities have already been realized (more on this later in the post). And, I could not be more excited to see them out in the world.

Through it all, I’ve felt there are a handful of breath-taking realities that most people are not grasping when it comes to an AI-Powered world. Why the implications are far deeper for humanity than we imagine. Why in my areas of expertise, marketing, sales, customer service and analytics, the impact will be deep and wide. Why is this not yet another programmatic moment. Why the scale at which we can (/have to) solve the problems is already well beyond the grasp of the fundamental strategy most companies follow: We have a bigger revenue opportunity, but we don’t know how to take advantage? Let’s buy more hamster wheels, hire more hamsters and train them to spin faster!

Today I want shed some light on these whys, and a bit more. My goal is to try to cause a shift in your thinking, to get you to take a leadership role in taking advantage of this opportunity both at a personal and professional level.

I’ve covered AI earlier: Artificial Intelligence: Implications On Marketing, Analytics, And You. You’ll learn all about the Global Maxima, definitions of AI/ML/DL, and the implications related to the work we do day to day. If you’ve not read that post, I do encourage you to do so as it will have valuable context.

In this post, I’ve organized my thoughts into these six clusters:

1: What’s the BFD? 2: Wait. So are we “doomed”? 3: AI: A conversation with a skeptic. 4: Ok, ok, ok, but what about the now? (Professional) 5: Ok, ok, ok, but what about the now? (Personal) 6: Summary.

There is a deliberate flow to this post, above. If you are going to jump around, it is ok, but please be sure to read the section below first. You won’t regret it.

Ready to have your mind stretched? Let’s go!

What’s the BFD?

I’m really excited about what’s in front of us. When I share that excitement in my keynotes or an intimate discussion with a company’s board of directors, I make sure I stress two especially powerful concepts that I have come to appreciate about the emerging AI solutions: Collective Continuous Learning + Complete Day One Knowledge.

They are crucial in being able to internalize the depth and breadth of the revolution, and why we strengths AI brings are a radical shift beyond what humans are capable of.

The first eye-opening learning for me came from the Google Research team’s post on Learning from Large-Scale Interaction.

Most robots are very robotic because they follow a sense-plan-act paradigm. This limits the types of things they are able to do, and as you might have seen their movements are deliberate. The team at Google adopted the strategy of having a robot learn own its own (rather than programming it with pre-configured models).

The one-handed robots in this case had to learn to pick up objects.

Initially the grasping mechanism was completely random – try to imagine a baby who barely knows they even have a hand at the end of their shoulder. Hence, you’ll see in the video below, they rarely succeed at the task at hand. ;)

At the end of each day, the data was collected and used to train a deep convolutional neural network (CNN), to learn to predict the outcome of each grasping motion. These learnings go back to the robot and improve its chances of success.

Here’s the video…

youtube

(Play on YouTube)

It took just 3,000 robot-hours of practice to see the beginnings of intelligent behavior.

What’s intelligent behavior of a CNN powered one-handed robot?

Among other things, being able to isolate one object (a stapler) to successfully pick-up a Lego piece. You’ll see that at 15 seconds in this video…

youtube

(Play on YouTube)

Or, learning how to pick up different types of objects (a dish washing soft sponge, a blackboard eraser, or a water glass etc.).

I felt a genuine tingling sensation just imagining a thing not knowing something and it being able to simply learn. I mean pause. Just think about it. It started from scratch – like a baby – and then just figured it out. Pretty damn fast. It truly is mind-blowing.

There were two lessons here. The first related to pure deep learning and its amazingness, I was familiar with this one. The second was something new (for me). This experiment involved 14 one-handed robot arms. While not a massive number, the 14 were collectively contributing data from the start – with their many failures. The end of day learnings by the convolutional neural network were using all 14. And, the next day, all 14 started again with this new level of collective wisdom.

For a clear way for me to capture this lesson, I call this Collective Learning.

It is very powerful.

Think of 14 humans learning a new task. Peeling an apple. Or, laying down track for a railroad. Or, programming a new and even more frustrating in-flight entertainment menu for Air Canada (who have the worst one known to mankind).

Every human will do it individually as well as they can – there will be the normal bell curve of competency. It is entirely possible, if there are incentives to do so, that the humans who are better in the group will try to teach others. There will be great improvement if the task is repetitive and does not require imagination/creativity/intrinsic intelligence. There might be a smaller improvement if the task is not repetitive and requires imagination/creativity/intrinsic intelligence.

In neither case will there be anything close to Collective Learning when it comes to humans.

Humans also do not posses this continuous closed loop: Do something. Check outcome (success or failure). Actively learn from either, improve self. Do something better the next time.

Collective Continuous Learning. An incredible advantage that I had simply not thought through deeply enough.

Here’s the second BFD.

Machine Learning is already changing lots of fields, the one I’m most excited about is what’s happening in healthcare. From the ability to speed up discovery of new medicines to the unbelievable speed with which Machine Learning techniques are becoming particularly adept at diagnosis (think blood reports, X-rays, cancers etc.).

An example I love. 415 million diabetic patients worldwide are at risk of Diabetic Retinopathy (DR) – the fastest growing cause of blindness. If caught early, the disease is completely treatable. The problem? Medical specialists capable of detecting DR are rare in many parts of the world where diabetes is prevalent.

Using a dataset of 128,000 images Google’s Accelerated Science Team trained a deep neural network to detect DR from retinal photographs. The results delivered by the algorithm (black curve) were slightly better than expert ophthalmologists (colored dots)…

Specifically the algorithm has a F-score of 0.95 and the median F-score of the eight expert ophthalmologists was 0.91.

As richer datasets become available for the neural network to learn from, as 3D imaging technology like Optical Coherence Tomography becomes available all over the world to provide more detailed view of the retina, just imagine how transformative the impact will be.

Literally millions upon millions of people at risk of blindness will have access to AI-Powered technology that can create a different outcome for their life – and their families.

#omg

A recent incredible article on this topic is in my beloved New Yorker magazine: A.I. VERSUS M.D. You *should* read it. I’ll jump to a part of the article that altered my imagination of possibilities.

An algorithm created by Sebastian Thrun, Andre Esteva and Brett Kuprel can detect keratinocyte carcinoma (a type of skin cancer) by looking at images of the skin (acne, a rash, mole etc.). In June 2015 it got the right answer 72% of the time, two board-certified dermatologists got the right answer for the same images 66% of the time.

Since then, as they outlined in their report published in the prestigious journal Nature, the algorithm has gotten smarter across even more skin cancer types – and consistently performs better than dermatologists.

Most cancers are fatal because they are detected too late, just imagine the transformative impact of this algorithm sitting in the cloud easily accessible to all humanity via their five billion smartphones. This dream come true: low-cost universal access to vital diagnostic care.

Oh, and here’s a profoundly under-appreciated facet of all this. These health algorithms (including and beyond the one above), are incredible at corner cases, the rare long-tail anomalies. They don’t forget what they have seen once or “rarely.”

This is just a little bit of context for the key point.

A dermatologist in a full-time practice will see around 200,000 cases during her/his lifetime. With every case she sees, she’ll ideally add to her knowledge and grow her diagnostic skills.

Our very human problem is that every new dermatology resident starts almost from scratch. Some textbooks might be updated (while comfortably remaining a decade of more behind). Some new techniques – machines, analytical strategies – might be accessible to the resident. But, the depth and breadth of knowledge acquired by the dermatologist at the end of her career with 200k cases, is almost completely inaccessible to the new resident. Even if they do a residency at an hospital or with a old dermatologist, a newly minted dermatologist will only be a little better than when the old one left school.

Consider this instead: The algorithm above processed 130,000 cases in three months! And every day it will get smarter as it’ll have access to the latest (and more) data. Here though is the magical bit. Every single new algorithm we bring online will have total access to all knowledge from previous algorithms! It’s starting point will be, what I call, Complete Day One Knowledge.

As it gets more data to learn from, as it has access to more compute power, it will get smarter and build upon that complete knowledge. The next version of the algorithm will start with this new high mark.

There is nothing equivalent to Complete Day One Knowledge when it comes to humans.

Combine having Complete Day One Knowledge with Collective Continuous Learning (networked hardware or software all learning at the same time) and it should take you five seconds to realize that we are in a new time and place.

Whatever form AI takes, it will always have access to complete knowledge and through the network each instance will make all others smarter every single instance/moment of its existence.

Humans simply can’t compete.

That’s the BFD.

Stop. Think. If you disagree even slightly, scroll back up and read the post again.

It is imperative that you get this not because of what will happen in 10 years, but what is happening today to the job you have. If you still disagree, scroll down and post a comment, I would love to hear your perspective and engage in a conversation.

Bonus 1: There is an additional valuable lesson related to open-loop grasp selection and blindly executing it vs. incorporating continuous feedback (50% reduction in failure rates!). The two videos are worth watching to see this in action.

Bonus 2: While are on the subject of objects… Relational reason is central to human intelligence. Deepmind has had recent success in building a simple neural network module for relational reasoning. This progress is so very cool. Additionally, I was so very excited about the Visual Interaction Network they built to mimic a human’s ability to predict. (If you kick a ball against the wall, your brain predict what will happen when the ball hits the wall.) The article is well worth reading: A neural approach to relational reasoning. Success here holds fantastic possibilities.

Wait. So are we “doomed”?

It depends on what you mean by doomed but: Yes. No. Yes, totally.

Artificial Intelligence will hold a massive advantage over humans in the coming years.

In field after field due to Collective Continuous Learning and Complete Day One Knowledge (not to mention advances in deep learning techniques and hardware :)), AI will be better at frequent high-volume tasks.

Hence, the first yes.

Neuralink at the moment is a concept (implantable brain-computer interface). But many experts (like Ray Kurzweil) believe some type of connection between our human brain and “intelligence, data, compute power in the cloud” will be accessible to humans.

I humbly believe that when that happens, over the next few decades (think 2050), humans could get to parity with AI available at that time. We might even have an advantage for some time (if only because I can’t let go of the thought that our brains are special!).

Hence, the no.

As we head towards the second half of the current century, AI will regain the lead again – and keep it for good. I don’t have the competency to judge if that will be AGI or Superintellignece or some other variation. But, with all other computing factors changing at an exponential rate it is impossible that intelligence will not surpass the limitations of humans and human brains (including the one with a version of Neuralink).

Here’s just one data-point from Jurgen Schmidhuber: Neural networks we are using for Deep Learning at the moment have around a billion neural connections compared with around 100,000 billion in the human cortex. Computers are getting 10 times faster every 5 years, and unless that trend breaks, it will only take 25 years until we have a recurrent neural network comparable with the human brain. Just 25 years.

Hence, the yes totally.

I have a personal theory as to what happens to humans as we look out 150 – 200 years. It is not relevant to this post. But, if you are curious, please ask me next time you see me. (Or, sign up for my weekly newsletter: The Marketing < > Analytics Intersect)

AI: A conversation with a skeptic.

Surely some of you think, to put it politely, that I’m a little bit out there. Some of you’ve heard the “hype” before and are deeply skeptical (AI went through a two decade long tundra where it failed to live up to every promise, until say 2010 or so). Some of you were promised Programmatic was AI and all it did was serve crap more efficiently at scale!

I assure you, skepticism is warranted.

Mitch Joel is the Rock Star of Digital Marketing, brilliant on the topic of media, and a very sweet human being. Amongst his many platforms is a fantastic podcast called Six Pixels of Separation. Our 13th podcast together was on AI. Mitch played the role of the resident skeptic and I played the role of, well, the role you see me play here.

If you can think of a skeptical question on this topic, Mitch asked it. Give the podcast a listen…

(Play at Six Pixels of Separation)

As you’ll hear multiple times, a bunch of this is a matter of thinking differently about the worldview that we’ve brought with us thus far. I share as many examples and metaphors I could to assist you in a journey that requires you to think very differently.

If you are still skeptical about something, please express it via comments below. Within the bounds of my competency, I’ll do my best to provide related context.

Ok, ok, ok, but what about the now? (Professional)

While I look at the future with optimism (even 150 years out for humans), what I’m most excited about is what Machine Learning and Deep Learning can do for us today. There are so many things that are hard to do, opportunities we don’t even know exist, the ability to make work that sucks the life out of you easier, better, smarter, or gone.

In a recent edition of my newsletter, TMAI, I’d shared a story and a call to arms with specific recommendations of what to do now. I’ll share it with you all here with the hope that you’ll jump-start your use of Machine Learning today…

I lived in Saudi Arabia for almost three years. Working at DHL was a deeply formative professional experience. My profound love of exceptional customer service, and outrage at awful customer experiences, can be directly sourced to what I learned there.

Saudi Arabia is a country that saw massively fast modernization. In just a few years, the country went from camels to cars. (I only half-jokingly say that Saudis still ride their cars like camels – and it was scary!).

Think about it for a moment.

From camels to cars. No bicycles. No steam engines. None of the other in-betweens other parts of the world systematically went through to get to cars. They were riding camels, then they were riding cars. Consider all the implications.

We stand at just such a moment in time in the business world. You know just how immersed and obsessed I am with Artificial Intelligence and the implications on marketing and analytics. It truly is a camels to cars type moment in my humble opinion (it might even be a camels to rockets moment, but let me be conservative).

Yet, executives will often give me examples of things they are doing, and they feel satisfied that they are with it, they are doing AI. When I probe a bit, it becomes clear very quickly that all they are doing is making the camels they are riding go a little faster.

That all by itself is not a bad thing – they are certainly moving faster. The problem is they are completely missing the opportunity to get in the car (and their competitors are already in cars).

It is important to know the difference between the two – for the sake of job preservation and company survival.

Here are a handful of examples to help you truly deeply internalize the difference between these two critical strategies…

If you are moving from last-click attribution to experimenting with first-click or time-decay, this is trying to make your camel go faster. Using ML-Powered Data-Driven Attribution and connecting it with your AdWords account so that action can be taking based on DDA recommendations automatically, you are riding a car.

(More on this: Digital Attribution's Ladder of Awesomeness)

If you are moving to experimenting with every button and dial you can touch in AdWords so that you can understand how everything works and you can prove increase in conversions while narrowly focusing on a few keywords, you are making your camel go faster. Switching to ML-powered Smart Targeting, Smart Creative and Smart Bidding with company Profit as the success criteria, for every relevant keyword identified automatically by the algorithm, you are riding a car.

Staffing up your call center to wait for calls from potential customers is making your camel go faster. Creating a neural-network that analyzes all publicly available data of companies to identify which ones are going to need to raise debt, and proactively calling them to pitch your company's wonderful debt-financing services is riding a car.

Hand picking sites to show your display ads via a x by x spreadsheet that is lovingly massaged and now has new font and one more column on Viewability, is making your camel go faster. Leveraging Machine Learning to algorithmically figure out where your ad should show by analyzing over 5,000 signals in real time for Every Single Human based on human-level understanding (die cookies die!), is riding a fast car.

(To see a delightful rant on the corrosive outcomes from a Viewability obsession, and what you might be sweeping under the carpet, see TMAI #64 with the story from P&G.)

Asking your Analysts to stop puking data, sorry I mean automate reporting, and send insights by merging various data sets is making the camel go faster. Asking your Analysts to just send you just the Actions and the Business Impact from those Actions is riding a car. Asking them to shift to using ML-powered products like Analytics Intelligence in GA to identify the unknown unkonwns and connecting that to automated actions is riding a rocket.

If you are explicitly programming your chatbot with 100 different use cases and fixed paths to follow for each use case to improve customer service, that is making the camel go faster. If you take the datasets in your company around your products, problems, solutions, past successful services, your competitors products, details around your users, etc. etc. and feed it to a deep learning algorithm that can learn without explicit programming how to solve your customer's service issues, you are riding a car.

I, literally, have 25 more examples… But, you catch my drift.

I do not for one moment believe that this will be easy, or that you'll get a welcome reception when you present the answer. But, one of two extremely positive outcomes will happen:

1. You'll get permission from your management team to stop wasting time with getting the camel to go faster, and they'll empower you to do something truly worth doing for your company. Or…

2. You'll realize that this company is going to suck the life out of your career, and you'll quietly look for a new place to work where your life will be filled with meaning and material impact.

Win-Win.

Hence, be brutally honest. Audit your current cluster of priorities against the bleeding edge of possible. Then answer this question: Are you trying to make your camel go faster, or jumping on to a car?

While Machine Learning has not solved world hunger yet, and AGI is still years away, there are business-altering solutions in the market today waiting for you to use them to create a sustainable competitive advantage.

Ok, ok, ok, but what about the now? (Personal)

If this post has not caused you to freak-out a tiny bit about your professional path, then I would have failed completely. After all, how can the huge amount of change mentioned above be happening, and your job/career not be profoundly impacted?

You and I have a small handful of years when we can create a personal pivot through an active investment of our time, energy and re-thinking. If we miss this small window of opportunity, I feel that the choice will be made for us.

This blog is read by a diverse set of people in a diverse set of roles. It would be difficult to be personal in advice/possibilities for each individual.

Instead, here’s a slide I use to share a collection of distinct thought during my speaking engagements on this topic…

In orange is a summary of what “Machines” and humans will be optimally suited for in the near-future. (Note the for now.) Frequent high-volume tasks vs. tackling novel situations.

In green, I’m quoting Carlos Espinal. I loved how simply and beautifully he framed what I imagine when I say tackle novel situations.

Over the last 24 months, I’ve made an whole collection of conscious choices to move my professional competencies to the right of the blue line. That should give me a decade plus, maybe more if Ray is right about Cloud Accessible Intelligence. Beyond that, everything’s uncertain. :)

Summary.

I hope you noticed I ended the above paragraph with a smiley. I’m inspired by the innovation happening all around us, and how far and wide it is being applied. I am genuinely excited about the opportunities in front of us, and the problems we are going to solve for us as individuals, for our businesses, for our fellow humans and for this precious planet.

In my areas of competence, marketing, analytics, service and sales, I can say with some experience that change is already here, and much bigger change is in front of us. (I share with Mitch above how long I think Analysts, as they are today, will be around.) I hope I’ve convinced you to take advantage of it for your personal and professional glory.

(All this also has a huge implication on our children. If you have kids, or play an influencing role in the life of a child, I’d shared my thoughts here: Artificial Intelligence | Future | Kids)

The times they are a changin'.

Carpe diem!

As always, it is your turn now.

Were Collective Learning and Complete Day One Knowledge concepts you’d already considered in your analysis of AI? Are there other concepts you’ve identified? Do you think we are doomed? Is your company taking advantage of Deep Neural Networks for marketing or analytics or to draw new value from your core back-office platforms? What steps have you taken in the last year to change the trajectory of your career?

Please share your insights, action-plans, critique, and outlandish predictions for the future of humanity, :), via comments below.

Thank you.

The Artificial Intelligence Opportunity: A Camel to Cars Moment is a post from: Occam's Razor by Avinash Kaushik

from Occam's Razor by Avinash Kaushik http://ift.tt/2wbcNae #Digital #Analytics #Website

#Analytics #Occam's Razor by Avinash Kaushik. Web Analytics #Tracking #Metrics #Performance

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nathandgibsca · 7 years

Text

The Artificial Intelligence Opportunity: A Camel to Cars Moment

In this post, I’ve organized my thoughts into these six clusters:

There is a deliberate flow to this post, above. If you are going to jump around, it is ok, but please be sure to read the section below first. You won’t regret it.

Ready to have your mind stretched? Let’s go!

What’s the BFD?

They are crucial in being able to internalize the depth and breadth of the revolution, and why we strengths AI brings are a radical shift beyond what humans are capable of.

The first eye-opening learning for me came from the Google Research team’s post on Learning from Large-Scale Interaction.

The one-handed robots in this case had to learn to pick up objects.

Here’s the video…

youtube

(Play on YouTube)

It took just 3,000 robot-hours of practice to see the beginnings of intelligent behavior.

What’s intelligent behavior of a CNN powered one-handed robot?

Among other things, being able to isolate one object (a stapler) to successfully pick-up a Lego piece. You’ll see that at 15 seconds in this video…

youtube

(Play on YouTube)

Or, learning how to pick up different types of objects (a dish washing soft sponge, a blackboard eraser, or a water glass etc.).

For a clear way for me to capture this lesson, I call this Collective Learning.

It is very powerful.

In neither case will there be anything close to Collective Learning when it comes to humans.

Humans also do not posses this continuous closed loop: Do something. Check outcome (success or failure). Actively learn from either, improve self. Do something better the next time.

Collective Continuous Learning. An incredible advantage that I had simply not thought through deeply enough.

Here’s the second BFD.

Specifically the algorithm has a F-score of 0.95 and the median F-score of the eight expert ophthalmologists was 0.91.

Literally millions upon millions of people at risk of blindness will have access to AI-Powered technology that can create a different outcome for their life – and their families.

#omg

This is just a little bit of context for the key point.

A dermatologist in a full-time practice will see around 200,000 cases during her/his lifetime. With every case she sees, she’ll ideally add to her knowledge and grow her diagnostic skills.

There is nothing equivalent to Complete Day One Knowledge when it comes to humans.

Whatever form AI takes, it will always have access to complete knowledge and through the network each instance will make all others smarter every single instance/moment of its existence.

Humans simply can’t compete.

That’s the BFD.

Stop. Think. If you disagree even slightly, scroll back up and read the post again.

Wait. So are we “doomed”?

It depends on what you mean by doomed but: Yes. No. Yes, totally.

Artificial Intelligence will hold a massive advantage over humans in the coming years.

Hence, the first yes.

Hence, the no.

Hence, the yes totally.

AI: A conversation with a skeptic.

I assure you, skepticism is warranted.

If you can think of a skeptical question on this topic, Mitch asked it. Give the podcast a listen…

(Play at Six Pixels of Separation)

If you are still skeptical about something, please express it via comments below. Within the bounds of my competency, I’ll do my best to provide related context.

Ok, ok, ok, but what about the now? (Professional)

Think about it for a moment.

That all by itself is not a bad thing – they are certainly moving faster. The problem is they are completely missing the opportunity to get in the car (and their competitors are already in cars).

It is important to know the difference between the two – for the sake of job preservation and company survival.

Here are a handful of examples to help you truly deeply internalize the difference between these two critical strategies…

(More on this: Digital Attribution's Ladder of Awesomeness)

(To see a delightful rant on the corrosive outcomes from a Viewability obsession, and what you might be sweeping under the carpet, see TMAI #64 with the story from P&G.)

I, literally, have 25 more examples… But, you catch my drift.

I do not for one moment believe that this will be easy, or that you'll get a welcome reception when you present the answer. But, one of two extremely positive outcomes will happen:

1. You'll get permission from your management team to stop wasting time with getting the camel to go faster, and they'll empower you to do something truly worth doing for your company. Or…

2. You'll realize that this company is going to suck the life out of your career, and you'll quietly look for a new place to work where your life will be filled with meaning and material impact.

Win-Win.

Ok, ok, ok, but what about the now? (Personal)

This blog is read by a diverse set of people in a diverse set of roles. It would be difficult to be personal in advice/possibilities for each individual.

Instead, here’s a slide I use to share a collection of distinct thought during my speaking engagements on this topic…

In orange is a summary of what “Machines” and humans will be optimally suited for in the near-future. (Note the for now.) Frequent high-volume tasks vs. tackling novel situations.

In green, I’m quoting Carlos Espinal. I loved how simply and beautifully he framed what I imagine when I say tackle novel situations.

Summary.

(All this also has a huge implication on our children. If you have kids, or play an influencing role in the life of a child, I’d shared my thoughts here: Artificial Intelligence | Future | Kids)

The times they are a changin'.

Carpe diem!

As always, it is your turn now.

Please share your insights, action-plans, critique, and outlandish predictions for the future of humanity, :), via comments below.

Thank you.

The Artificial Intelligence Opportunity: A Camel to Cars Moment is a post from: Occam's Razor by Avinash Kaushik

from SEO Tips https://www.kaushik.net/avinash/artificial-intelligence-opportunity-camel-to-cars-moment/

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