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#we diary post.
our-inspire-verse · 8 months
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"That's not how systems work. You're taking this too far. You don't know what its like to feel so out of control, to have memory blackouts, to wake up years later, to have someone in your system grieve someone they didn't know was dead."
Bec. Becayse... hecause i didnt talk about experiencing it? Or. Because i said that i like my system or that i have a majority positive experiences over negative ones?
Because i did. I absolutely have been thru every single one of these things and I've had multiple people talk down to me as if I'm stupid and perpetuating false information, or just simply being super disrespectful. I never assume, i never make blanket statements, and i go forward knowing that everyone collectively is new to studying this stuff in a modern way, though its been around for a while.
All i want is to demedicalize a part of the community (because OBVIOUSLY some will have need for the medical part) and be honest about myself, and listen to others being honest about THEMSELVES.
Systems are. Extraordinary. Every single one of them, and every individual within them. Talk about your experiences, be annoying. Talk too much. Talk only about the good. Talk about how you adore them. Talk about the bad. Talk about any part of it you deem important even if others think its silly, or cringe, or wrong or bad or stupid or anything else. Whatever YOU think of it, it must be.
I promise you aren't the only system experiencing whatever it is you're experiencing and that there is a community for you. Find the people who will listen, and speak.
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xerith-42 · 3 months
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Some things we may have forgotten
I've been rewatching MCD and taking extensive notes on it in hopes that I'll never have to watch it again and this is just a list of things that I don't see mentioned or brought up very often/ever that we should talk about and think about more
In the first episode Garroth tries to attack Vylad (angst potential) and Vylad literally just combat locks him by logging out of the game. This is objectively funny and should not be rewritten in any capacity. This should be canon as it is in every universe.
Aphmau's cat Meowki gets randomly killed in Episode 12 by a skeleton while Kiki is right upstairs. Just saying, there's some angst potential there.
In episode 11 Garroth reveals that he knows some medicine. Pretty sure this is never brought up again, but we could always bring it up.
Logan is apparently good with a bow while Zenix is trash at it despite being a self proclaimed "expert archer" which I think is very funny (I know this is part of Zenix's cover but what if we took it seriously it would be so funny)
Zoey is originally from the river village, as is Donna. Pretty sure they retcon that for Zoey, but I like to think the two of them could have been friends before Phoenix Drop.
Garroth actually almost dies in episode 15. Like Dr. Doctor says he will probably die soon at the start of the episode. And he doesn't get healed until episode 20. He literally spends 5 episodes laid up in bed dying.
Brendan's at his side probably angsting the entire time I'm just saying if you want sad gay fanfics, it's sitting right there!
Azura and Garroth were friends as kids??? Hello???? I think this is just a massive plot hole considering what Garroth's actual backstory ends up being asjfgshjdfgjk
Okay but if we twist it a little bit, they were friends as kids as in like at the guard academy??? Bc they're like vaguely teenage/young adult so maybe that's what she means? In which case I wanna think about that more because childhood friends to lovers is one of my favorite romance arcs ever. But is it really childhood friends if you met when you were like... 18?? And you're in your like mid to late twenties probably, I wouldn't really classify that as childhood friends.
WAIT IT GETS WORSE!
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I don't... I don't even have a joke here, this is just a massive plot hole. Like all of this is just not true to Garroth's backstory as we know it. Grew up in the same village? You mean O'Khasis?? Where Garroth also FAKED HIS DEATH????
I literally don't know what to say to this I was just trying to find silly little facts to try and incorporate into my rewrite and instead I found a massive gaping plot hole
Moving on, in episode 19 when Aphmau confronts Zenix and they fight, he actually apologizes to her. As if he regrets having to hurt her for the sake of his/the Shadow King's goals.
The Lord of Brightport says the Shadow King "used to be a lord". Which like... Okay, I can bend backwards a few ways to say that he could be referring to how Shad started Falcon Claw, but how the fuck does this dude know that??? I feel like Laurance constantly just stumbling into plot holes by complete accident
Dale is apparently a Garmau shipper, going as far as to ask Aphmau if she plans on hooking up with Garroth. I like to think that he and Molly have a bet going for how long it takes for one of the two of them to finally fess up.
Raven's mom tried to eat him??
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Okay then.
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asterlark · 5 months
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me and den @unloneliest were just talking about murderbot and ART's relationship and i want to discuss how they quite literally complete each other's sensory and emotional experience of the world!!
there's a few great posts on here such as this one about how murderbot uses drones to fully and properly experience the world around it (it also accesses security cameras/other systems for this same purpose). but i haven't seen anyone so far talk about how once MB stops working for the company and consequently doesn't have a hubsystem/secsystem to connect to anymore (which for its entire existence up to that point had been how it was used to interacting with its environment/doing its job), after it meets ART, ART starts to fill that gap.
ART gives MB access to more cameras, systems, and information archives than it would normally be able to connect with while MB is on its own outside of ART's... body(? lol), but also directly gives MB access to its own cameras, drones, archives, facilities, and processing space. additionally, so much of ART's function is dedicated to analysis, lateral thinking, and logical reasoning, and it not only uses those skills in service of reaching murderbot's goals, it teaches murderbot how to use those same skills. (ART might be a bit of an asshole about how it does this, but that doesn't negate just how much it does for murderbot for no reason other than it's bored/interested in MB as an individual.)
we all love goofing about how artificial condition can basically be boiled down to "two robots in a trench coat trying to get through a job interview" (which is entirely accurate tbh) but that's also such a great example of ART fulfilling the role of both murderbot's "hubsystem" and "secsystem", allowing it to fully experience its environment/ succeed in its goals. ART provides MB with crucial information, context, and constructive criticism, and uses its significant processing power to act as MB's backup and support system while they work together.
from ART's side of things, we get a very explicit explanation of how it needs the context of murderbot's emotional reactions to media in order to fully understand and experience the media as intended. it tried to watch media with its humans, and it didn't completely understand just by studying their reactions. but when it's in a feed connection with murderbot, who isn't human but has human neural tissue, ART is finally able to thoroughly process the emotional aspects of media (side note, once it actually understands the emotional stakes in a way that makes sense for it, it's so frightened by the possibility of the fictional ship/crew in worldhoppers being catastrophically injured or killed that it makes murderbot pause for a significant amount of time before it feels prepared to go on. like!! ART really fucking loves its crew, that is all).
looking at things further from ART's perspective: its relationship with murderbot is ostensibly the very first relationship it's been able to establish with not only someone outside of its crew, but also with any construct at all. while ART loves its crew very much (see previous point re: being so so scared for the fate of the fictional crew of worldhoppers), it never had a choice in forming relationships with them. it was quite literally programmed to build those relationships with its crew and students. ART loves its function, its job, and nearly all of the humans that spend time inside of it, but its relationship with murderbot is the first time it's able to choose to make a new friend. that new friend is also someone who, due to its partial machine intelligence, is able to understand and know ART on a whole other level of intimacy that humans simply aren't capable of. (that part goes for murderbot, too, obviously; ART is its first actual friend outside of the presaux team, and its first bot friend ever.)
and because murderbot is murderbot, and not a "nice/polite to ART most of the time" human, this is also one of the first times that ART gets real feedback from a friend about the ways that its actions impact others. after the whole situation in network effect, when the truth of the kidnapping comes to light and murderbot hides in the bathroom refusing to talk to ART (and admittedly ART doesn't handle this well lol) - ART is forced to confront that despite it making the only call it felt able to make in that horrifying situation, despite it thinking that that was the right call, its actions hurt murderbot, and several other humans were caught in the crossfire. what's most scary to ART in that moment is the idea that murderbot might never forgive it, might never want to talk to it again. it's already so attached to this friendship, so concerned with murderbot's wellbeing, that the thought of that friendship being over because of its own behavior is terrifying. (to me, this almost mirrors murderbot's complete emotional collapse when it thinks that ART has been killed. the other more overt mirror is ART fully intending on bombing the colony to get murderbot back.)
in den's words, they both increase the other's capacity to feel: ART by acting as a part of murderbot's sensory system, and murderbot by acting as a means by which ART can access emotion. they love one another so much they would do pretty much anything to keep each other safe/avenge each other, but what's more, they unequivocally make each other more whole.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:
videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.
and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.
this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.
there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.
there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.
for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.
i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.
here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."
eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.
we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.
"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"
thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.
it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.
an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.
and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."
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rebisrot · 2 months
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god fucking damnit i hate it here
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badolmen · 2 years
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RIP to all of the British people who have to deal with the BBC/national officials shutting the country down the next few weeks that’s gonna be rough.
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grandmarielaylanen · 3 months
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mcd out of context (part 3)
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squiddlysq · 2 days
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Finished System Collapse the other day & Murderbot has never been more relatable
First image based on this post by @murderbot-moodboard
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scificrows · 7 months
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Today I'm thinking about this:
Or Miki was a bot who had never been abused or lied to or treated with anything but indulgent kindness. It really thought its humans were its friends, because that’s how they treated it. I signaled Miki I would be withdrawing for one minute. I needed to have an emotion in private.
And about how Murderbot slowly starts calling its humans its friends in Exit Strategy, tentatively at first:
Were they my sort-of human friends? My clients? My ex-owners, though legally that was only Dr. Mensah. Were they going to see me and yell for help, alert security?
but also more confidently later:
Maybe that was why I had been nervous about meeting Mensah again, and not all the other dumb reasons I had come up with. I hadn’t been afraid that she wasn’t my friend, I had been afraid that she was, and what it did to me.
The only tag I can access on Ratthi is a partial that says my human friend. That’s strange and unlikely, but the pre-catastrophic-failure version of me seemed sure about it, and I don’t have anything else to go on.
and Mensah confirms this at the end of the book too:
I just want you to know you already have options here, and I expect you’ll have more offers for your services or advice as a security consultant. And that you have friends here you can discuss things with, whatever you decide to do, or wherever you decide to go.
The thought that a bot could see its humans as its friends (and because they treat it as a friend too) made Murderbot so emotional in Rogue Protocol that it needed a minute to process it. And later on in the series it starts to understand that its own humans are its friends too - and how much they care about it and that it can go to them for help if it needs them and I just. I think I need to withdraw and have an emotion about this in private too.
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marblerose-rue · 2 years
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click for better quality!!
here are my full designs for these two <3
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#dovewing#ivypool#warriors#waca#wc art#warrior cats#IF I CAN FIND MY OLD IVYPOOL DESIGN. ill do a silly comparison bc i have dovewings old design and i can compare her old + new designs but i#cant do that with ivys </3#i meant to do this earlier but we had to run emergency errands#what if i claimed both of them for the autism adhd nation. bc i already did#OK SO technically the first book that got me into warriors was the tigerstar and sasha comic#BUT REALLY my first Actual Book was the fourth apprentice i lovewing dovewing so much#im planning on rereading some of the books this fall bc i associate this weather were getting with warriors and i have like 30 of the books#before my grandma passed she would always save the wc books that got donated for me <3 i wish she wouldve read them too bc she loved cats#just as much as i did#me saying im not gonna do anything w ocs was a lie i was on tiktok earlier and saw a few funny screenshots so im recreating them w mrb#whether or not i post them is up to future me . aka me in a few hours . but i would also like to eat supper before doing anything else#i love turning my tags into my diary you all have to read all of the thoughts that plague my mind AHKDNBFHBDFG#also me giving dove super heterochromia is a way to dodge the eye color thing. she has green eyes <3 when i read the books growing up#she had green eyes in my head . and my mind designs for the cats r different from my drawn designs#bc my mind designs r super boring tbh. just normal cats with nothing fun going on#OK now im posting for realsies
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midnightclover · 3 months
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Summon Night: Swordcraft Story (ATLUS, 2003)
#my actual posts lol#haha what if i made a daily diary post thing like nico#..i was just thinking#today was a good day#and i thought of this song#ive been playing summon night swordcraft story a lot as of late.. though none today actually#its still on my mind though#i considered using dweller empty path's song flying through a stary sky instead.. but this is what i thought of first#i think it fits best to use it#i actually had to jump through some hoops to upload music!#cus my tumblr app is kinda old.. i cant properly upload music. i could only put a link#which isnt exactly ideal#so i tried in my web browser.. but maybe its cus i havent updated it in a while or maybe just cus its tor.. it didnt work#so i downloaded firefox and did it on there lol#now im editing it in my drafts back on the app#dont ask why im not just doing it on my computer... shes having some technical difficulties. we're working on it#but not today#...#today was pretty eventful.. even if not very productive. but ive never been a very productive person#we went and saw some light festival thing! it was rly nice.. a little simple at times but it was fun#we went and got some yummy snacks earlier too! tho ive already eaten them all hehe#and i started up animal crossing new leaf. i hadnt played it in ages! its startling how much better it is than new horizions.. imo at least#only problem is i couldnt make it the same as my island.. and i didnt remember why i named my last town#we searched for a while for some reference or somfin to name it after.. but we ended up just going with ''faraway''#cus i liked the idea of being asked where im going.. and just saying far far away#and as beth said it has a kinda fairytail vibe!#...only after i named it did i realize i accidentally named it after the town in omori. oops!#...im about to hit the tag limit. so whoevers still listening i just want u to know..#i love you. ok?#goodnight
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drawfee-quot3s · 6 months
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yeah sorry i can't make it to the thing tonight, it's just that, um, airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
i'm sorry i can't make it to dinner tonight, i could really use a wish right now (wish right now)
- jacob + karina
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jinkiesmariz · 5 months
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ok so like i made the KC charm and tried to post it and it killed my phone
anyways i did this in like the span of 6-8 hours and i think it was worth it >:3 the watermark is there b/c i genuinely do wanna make this a charm tho and ill probably make apost for interest checks after i do enough for a group ANYWYAS HERES KC/NANA!!!! she has strings b/c of her puppeteering magicks #amen
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theatrevampire · 27 days
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i really do believe one of the big parallels this season will be between louis and daniel and of course their inability to remember certain events. i feel like louis asked armand to take away/alter some of his memories after the trial. and perhaps daniel asked for the same thing or he learned too much in the 70s interview and armand stepped in to offer him a blank slate because he was so messed up from said interview….i don’t know….am i making sense? probably not lmao…anyway see y'all may 12th ✌️
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squiddcakes · 1 year
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Ladies and gentlemen (and, creatures), I have finished my second PD villagers line-up! My favorites to do were Molly and Emmalyn they're just <3 (I also re-did my first line-up with some minor changes since my art skills have improved since).
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murasaki-cha · 4 months
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I just know Tom Riddle would hate me if I had his diary
Because I wouldn't even talk about irl crushes I'd just be talking about my fictional crushes
Me: *writing down* so I cried over a book boy again today
Tom: merlin's beard, who now?
Me: Wes Bennett
Tom: Seriously you cried over him 2 days ago!!
Me: no that was Alberu Crossman. Come on Tom their names don't even rhyme
Tom: You cry over 5 people a day I can't keep up! Please do you even like someone real??
Me:....yes
Tom: Seriously? Blody hell who!?
Me: .....Aushen Ride
Tom: .....the biker
Me: yea-
Tom: shut the diary now
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