#was she ever normal? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fazcinatingblog · 1 month

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Sophia said the budget for the week is $38k (most ridiculous target she's ever come up with) and I did that and she didn't mention if she was pleased with it or will she just continue giving me ridiculous targets every week like $40k then $50k then $103k and then if ever I don't meet her dumbass target, I get fired that's it, it's that easy

#i don't know how we got to $38k this week like each job is like between $100 and $2000 #but we did #we got there #she'll make up more stupid expenses next week #she'll be like 'I've got land tax and wages and oh i bought another house and we need $400k of invoices to cover it'#be like 'can't afford the wages this week we need a billion dollars worth of invoices to go out'#goddddd i hate her #also as far as i know I'm the only idiot on earth who's worked the longest under Sophia #nearly five years!!!!!!#Jesus #it's too long #but also i don't know like she ran her own accounting practice out of her own home before taking over from mort #like I'm pretty sure she had people working for her and I'm pretty sure I've seen a list of them #i have a list of her clients from that time and underneath it says employees/homestay #i think #i think there's phone numbers too #i mean #i clearly need to do some research #find out if any of those worked for sophia for over 5 years #what are their stories #they would've worked at her house and maybe even lived there if the homestay thing is true #i need to know what it was like #at what point did she turn evil #was she always evil #was she ever normal?#what do her kids think of her #do they know she runs an accounting firm #were they ever inspired to do accounting #what was she like as an employee #did she eat 6 cheese biscuits for lunch every day

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hailsatanacab · 6 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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radiance1 · 4 months

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So, Danny was effectively homeless.

His parents are dead, his sister is dead, his friends are dead. Hell, even Vlad, Vlad kicked the fucking bucket which, Danny genuinely never expected.

Vlad was supposed to be his nemesis, his main bad guy, the guy Danny's supposed to constantly pull everything out against just to win. Not to mention how significant his presence was.

A part of him assumed that Vlad would always be there and him not being there and knowing he won't be there ever again is... weird.

So you're probably asking, how exactly did this happen?

Well you see, the nasty burger exploded, for one thing. Then when he was under Vlad's care both of them got outed for being ghosts to the GIW, which was technically Danny's fault, since he did something extremely stupid.

Somehow they got caught, and life under the GIW was not great in the slightest. The constant experiments, the dehumanization (Sometimes Danny doesn't even register himself as human), the amount of times their feelings were utterly disregarded, and so, so much more.

The GIW found Vlad to be more dangerous than Danny, even if he lacked the raw power Danny had his intellect made him dangerous and for good reason. For it was because of said intellect that Danny managed to escape.

Vlad didn't manage to do the same.

Danny hated reliving that memory. Because Vlad was a villain, evil and self-serving, he shouldn't be sacrificing himself for his literal greatest enemy to escape in his stead (Not that Vlad would say Danny was his greatest, he would probably say it was the person who refused him to buy the packers). It was just, so utterly stupid and out of character for him.

So, Danny managed to escape, Vlad died. He couldn't even say anything about Dani because she got destabilized in front of him, in front of both of them actually. It hurt to watch and, he didn't quite know the specifics between Dani and Vlad anymore, but he thinks they were getting... better.

Not how it was when Dani was first created, but Vlad was working on mending it. Which, honestly, just makes everything worse.

Danny isn't powerless but it's a damn close thing. He's far weaker than he normally would be, and he's injured on top of that too boot, his powers can barely work and it's just so stupid.

So here he was, hiding out in some random sewer because he didn't want to take the risk of being on the surface and he hates the smell, but he'll take that over being experimented on again. So, Danny spends most of his time in the sewers of this place called Gotham, he even managed to make his own little area with a couch he stole and a few other appliances that were thrown out.

He lacked a Tv or laptop, but he found a yo-yo! Most of his time was spent practicing various tricks with his yo-yo.

It got boring fast. But it was really the only safe thing he could do when waiting for his powers to come back. At least he's a god at yo-yoing now.

It was while doing various tricks with it in some random sewer path, that a literal, goddamn crocodile-man just splashed up from sewer water and half-laid on the edge, since his lower body was still in the water.

Danny looked at his yo-yo, the crocodile, and then slowly stepped on over and gently poked the crocodile dude.

He made a sound, so he was alive!

Finally! Someone to appreciate his godly yo-yoing skills!

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #How did Dani get caught by the GIW?#Just assume she got caught along the way or sum #Anyways #Killer Croc just wanted a nap after being beaten up by Batman again #Why was a child in his sewers?#He doesn't even have the energy to try and eat the kid so he'll just #Let him do what he wants for now #Not like a normal child could ever threaten him #.#Why in the ever loving fuck was this kid showing him what he could do with a yo-yo???#Why is there a weird child with-impressive- yo-yo skills in his sewers????

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thedreadvampy · 1 year

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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

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chloesimaginationthings · 2 months

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You're version of Elizabeth is really sassy lol

At the end of the day, she’s still Michael’s little sister

#ask reply #seeing baby is so sassy I gotta believe in some part that’s Elizabeth’s personality coming thru #Makes sense to me in a troubled family the one daughter would be fussy #I think she’s good though I never like the narrative she’s spoiled or evil #she’s just a normal little girl who wants attention and to be loved #ALSO she probably stands up to Michael a lot #just cause Michael was a bully so in return she’s rude back to him #a fair trade I’d say pff #I’ll not take Elizabeth slander ever 😤

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eggsploded · 4 months

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cold one open with the crack boys or however it goes

#egg art #homestuck #dont want to see this ever again i painted it twice #she with squad b: people that make me feel normal #squad a (dave and rose): people that make me feel stupid - are too busy to hang #kanaya maryam #karkat vantas #sollux captor #its solkat if youre really desperate #real ones will understand the shirt reference

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ministarfruit · 3 months

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day 10: love is devotion ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

#minifemslashfeb2024 #ace attorney #junithena #athena cykes #juniper woods #melts into a puddle #junithena WARM junithena SOFT #junithena is so darling to me especially the version of it I made up in my head #ok I always write junie with imposter syndrome BUT #can we talk about how many skills this girl has. she can knit. she can sing. she can write. she can garden. she's smart #AND she's studying law to become a judge #I made her a painter for this too. because why not #god gave her health problems to nerf her. otherwise she would be too powerful #also athena short hair swag because I think she looks cute like that #do you ever think about the space and earth symbolism? no? just me?#is there something quite so intangible as falling in love with the stars #believing you will never reach them #when the stars are shining brightly to guide your way #they shine just for you...#mini be normal about junithena challenge: failed #'what are you talking about' shhh. shh.#you are safe now my sweet child

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harasharaved · 9 months

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The fact that Judaism is trending because of both the wave of bomb threats on synagogues and Bradley Cooper's Antisemitism Adventure (his huge fake prosthetic nose, and him basically stealing the story from a Jewish man) is so infuriating and so exhaustingly typical.

The fact that I see Judaism trending on Tumblr and immediately think "oh no. Something Bad is happening to us." We're never trending cause it's fucking good. I never get to be excited, it's just cold dread.

The fact that Antisemitism is getting worse everyday and the only ones who ever talk about it are other Jews. The fact that no one else fucking cares. The only ones who support us are other Jews. Even when gentiles talk about Nazis or white supremacists they don't want to help us. We're just their prop, the canary in the coal mine and the perfect victim.

The fact that everyone's uncomfortable with Jews still being here. Reminding them of things they'd rather forget.

The fact that it'd be easier for them if we were all dead. Then they could tell stories about our people, dressed in offensive caricatures, without us making a fuss.

#im so fucking pissed right now #jew tag #judaism #jumblr #when will we be able to catch a fucking break man #i keep thinking about dara horn man #she said it best #a hundred times #Sarah's bullshit #I'll probably delete this later i just AUGH #g-d im angry i just wanted to rant #me and every jewish person ever who went to hebrew school or shul or anything #we have armed security guards as some flimsy protection so we dont get hate crimed #so no one comes in and shoots our kids #by the way. its not normal. its been all ive ever known though #g-d forbid one of those bomb threats is real will gentiles slap on a fake nose and make a movie about it twenty years later

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taxinealkaloids · 4 months

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behold hitherto unposted htn doodles! harrow+her terrible mentor, harrow+her terrible roommate

#tlt #my art #these were unfinished which i thought was a shame so i sort slapped some colors nd background stuff on them and now here they are.#top one soooo old but i still liked it and didnt want to condemn it to a fate of sitting in my wip folder forever and ever #bottom ones are more recent; they were scattered throughout the margins of a bunch of different wips and i grouped them together #in this one canvas so i could post them cause i like em. im charmed by soup bowl harrow w/ her normal pajamas. she would probably #not wear that.#ive been thinking abt harrianthe a lot lately i want to post about them more but i can't finish anything lately #not cause im artblocked or anything i'm fine in that respect i just have no free time 💀

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jinstronaut · 17 days

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bangtan gif challenge ☆ → stage mix (one song) + your bias(es) ↳ boy with luv + seokjin 💗💗💗 (cr. namuspromised)

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lionbearfox · 21 days

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the silly.... shes everything to me

#nahida #genshin impact #my art #new top contender for favorite nahida ive ever drawn #i missed drawing sillyhida.... shes just a goofy lil guy #gonna print this one out at put it at my desk in the lab office #i continue to be normal about nahida (<- bold faced lie)#anyways. for those of u interested in commissions i am working on figuring it out #and hopefully price sheet will be up sometime this week :) so keep an eye out!#id in alt

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andthebeanstalk · 9 months

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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!