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butterflyknifegirl · 12 hours

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ᖭ༏ᖫ Knives and Pens ᖭ༏ᖫ {Episode 3}

Ellie x Female Reader MDI 18+ Word count: 4803

↢ PREVIOUS EP // NEXT EP ↣

Aria Rose is a trained surgeon from Orion, Alberta coming to Jackson. Originally from Buffalo QZ in New York, you fled after the death of your mother, an ex Firefly. You meet Ellie Williams when arriving in Wyoming. Hope is a fickle thing and the past will come back to haunt everyone.

A.N: My first fic and so I'm taking my time with writing and enjoying the characters. This takes place in the TLOU2 or a little prior to when the game takes place. Slight changes to the story will happen. Rated 18+ as sex and sexual themes are mentioned. Slow burn. Smut.

Any songs used in this story were released prior to Breakout Day; September 26th, 2013.

Warnings for this episode: angst, smut, smoking da reefer, cursing, nudity, lesbian sexualism/erotica, mentions of slight sexual trauma.

Read on Wattpad

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This episode took longer to write due to some like updates. Thanks for being patient and ENJOY <3

Episode 3 : Waiting Pains

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Song: Greedy - Artist: Inara George - Released: 2005

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You slipped under the surface of the water and laid on the tub floor. Maria and Tommy had started on dinner and had a country album playing on the record player in their living room. Most of the noises were drowned out by the water.

“Maybe I’m both,” Ellie’s voice makes an appearance in your thoughts, but like the music, it’s muffled. Your heartbeat plays clear. You think to yourself that this is what it’s like for a baby in utero; surrounded by familiar distant sounds and voices, all playing to the beat of your own and your mother’s heartbeat. You feel yourself needing to take a breath but you hold yourself down and push yourself further into your thoughts.

“But, what if it mutated?” Your mother’s distant voice plays again from last night’s dream. “The host would still be infected,” was your response. Your mother’s voice starts to fade farther away, “But what if they were still themselves, still human?” Your heart continues to play its song and you feel your need to breathe rise.

“Maybe I’m both.”

You push yourself up, finally taking in a gulp of air.

☆

The sun had set behind the mountains. The navy sky was turning black and you lit the numerous candles that were throughout your room. You’ve unpacked your clothes, medical text books and journals, and the framed photo of you and your mother was placed on your vanity surrounded by a few lit candles. Your vanity had become a small shrine and you felt it fitting to place your mother’s Firefly tag on the frame.

Dinner was ready and Maria had offered you to eat, but you opted to wait with her and Tommy until the others showed up. “I try to cook for the family at least once a week,” Maria sat on the couch, Tommy was on the recliner and almost passed out. You sat on the other sofa diagonal from Maria. “I like to make sure they’re eating, more so Ellie than Joel.”

“Does she not eat?”

“Well she eats, just not enough, and Joel, well, he’s alone so he makes himself small meals. They don’t live together technically, Ellie lives in the garage on the property. Anyways, they’re family and I do what I can.” Maria was a woman to be admired. She took care of her family and on top of that, Jackson.

Tommy’s light snoring was interrupted by a knock on the door. You sat lounging on the couch and Maria got up to get the door. “Finally! Horde give you any trouble?”

Joel steps in with a heavy foot, “There was eight of us, so not so bad,” he gives Maria a hug.

“Well make your way to the dining room I’ll serve you,” Maria held the door open and you heard lighter footsteps come in. “And you, how many did you get?”

“Like 18 on my own. Five more than Jesse,” Ellie finally walks in wearing her black t-shirt, with her hair up in a low bun, a single loose strand of hair by her face. She came in looking back at Maria, but her eyes rested on you. Your adrenaline rushed in as her gaze fell on you and it made you nervous. She turns to give Maria a hug.

Tommy’s recliner clinks shut and he gets up, “Well I’ll play some of a record while we eat,” and he starts the record over, gives his hugs, and heads to the dining room with Maria and Joel.

You get up to join the others and Ellie smiles at you still standing by the entryway.

“Back so soon?” you tease. You couldn’t help but be playful with Ellie, she seemed to glow at your banter and you noticed that for the times that she was with you, the echoes from the past faltered, and you stood on even ground, it seemed, with her. Ellie rolls her eyes playfully and they land down on you again as you approach.

“Don’t act like you haven’t been waiting.” You were taken aback a bit by her sudden boldness, but she smirked more with a sense of cheekiness, as if she wanted to see how you would react. You obviously didn’t want to lose this game and so you tried to conceal a blush.

“Yeah to eat, it took you long enough. Do you usually keep a girl waiting?” you smile back.

“I’d say this would be the first.”

“Oh really?” you purred.

“I don’t like stringing people along,” she says hesitantly, still trying to keep her confidence up. She looks away smiling and gives an airy life.

You step closer to catch her eye, “I’m not known to wait either, but if it’s worth it, I will.” Your eyes explore her face, admiring her freckles and her cheeks flush lightly.

“So.. you think it’s worth it?” her voice was quieter, eyes soft, as she watched you for your response.

Your heart started to ache. This woman has single handedly melted your cold, distant exterior. The women in Orion that you were with all had eventually used you as the village gay mistress. The few that laid with you eventually left you empty and with nothing to show for it. They all were ashamed of being with you, and you were kept as a dirty secret. The worst part was, you let them. You didn’t know why you did it, but you let them either way.

But Ellie was different. She was open to you about her interest in you, she was even protective of you. You saw that she was affecting you the same way you were affecting her. A light, a pin of hope, pierced in your chest.

Ellie saw no hesitation in your face. Your smile, paired with your bright eyes, gave her all the confidence in the world and her heart pounded, a desperate steady rhythm. All she needed was to hear you say it, but maybe not right now, maybe not tonight, and for some reason, she was almost okay with that. You two were solid, and considering her heart ached with having to watch someone she had loved from the sidelines for so long, she felt like she was finally coming up for air. So she licks her lips and gives you a big grin.

“Dinner’s served!” Maria calls from the dining room.

☆

Dinner had played out with Maria sitting at the head of the table, talking about the growing population of Jackson as more women are becoming pregnant and choosing to go through with the pregnancy. You were expected to have your hands full with not only this but teaching as well. When it came to doing surgeries, you did it all.

“Well, we want you to have a life too. Can’t be all work no play,” Tommy winks at you. He’s seated across from you and Ellie, on Maria’s right, Ellie on her left.

“There’s a lot of young people your age here,” Joel looks up from eating, he sits across from you, next to Tommy. “Jesse is a good kid.”

“Yeup, and there’s Dina, and that tattoo artist, Cat,” Tommy adds. “Well Ellie can show you ‘round, get you acquainted, when you have some free time, if there’s such a thing.”

You smiled and looked over at Ellie who sat beside you quietly eating.

☆

The night was ending and unfortunately for Ellie, she had to be up early for morning patrol. She waited until Joel headed out first so she wouldn’t have to walk with him home. She lingered behind helping Maria and you clean up.

“I can wash the rest up, why don’t you head on home Ellie,” Maria offers. Despite the calm night, Ellie’s mind was racing. Between Joel, you, Di-

“Hey I’ll walk you out,” you had dried a dish and put it away.

“Yeah okay.”

You walk Ellie to the porch. The moon was full and there was a cool breeze. “This Thursday, pick me up by the hospital,” you stand by the stairs holding onto the porch pillar.

“So am I courting you now?” she smirks.

You chuckle, “Who says that?”

“I don’t know, people,” she shrugs and smiles.

“Hmm, well,” you take her right hand and observe it with both of yours. You look at her palm and slide your fingers to the tips of her. You feel the callouses, “You play guitar?” Ellie nods, not really sure how to respond. You flip her hand over and trace her long slender fingers up to the dipping leaves of the fern on her wrist. The delicate touch had caused chills to run down her arm. She let out an airy gasp and you pulled her arm around your waist. Both of her hands held your lower back. Your hands found their way to her neck where you gently ran your fingers down. Ellie had closed her eyes and blushed bashfully. She had gotten lost in your touch. She felt another gasp building up, but she opted to hold her breath. Your palm finds her cheek and she leaned into your touch.

“I think I’m bad at waiting,” you whisper.

Ellie’s eyes shoot open. The moonlight hits your bright eyes and casts a shine on your lips. She swallows a desperate gulp back. The sweet torture of your touch put her in a desperate state of mind. Her body was warming up and her hands slid lower down your back, gently grabbing hold of your bottom, kneading you through your jeans.

“Me too,” she leans closer. Your eyebrows knit together, you look into her eyes, then to her lips, and back again.

“Ellie-,” Ellie dives into the kiss. She cups your ass and raises you up. You feel Ellie’s tongue enter your mouth, needy and desperate. She explores your mouth and you wrap your arms around her neck. It was intoxicating. You were running out of breath but you didn’t want to break it. You were choking on her kiss. Ellie finally pulls away, breathing into your mouth, she looks at you with dark eyes. You breathe hard and she rolls her eyes, closing them, and resting her forehead on yours. Your hands go down to the flat of her chest and you feel her heart pounding.

“So Thursday?” she breathes out.

“Yeah, after my shift,” you try to smile but a wave of melancholy spreads over your heart.

She separates and stands tall over you, breathing hard, smiling a side smirk with proud squinted eyes, like she had just trudged up a mountain side and was now looking at the valley below leading into the horizon.

She takes your hand and rubs her thumb over your knuckles. “I’ll see you then,” she presses her lips on your cheek and swiftly turns and walks off the porch and down the street, not turning back.

☆

Four Days Later

☆

Next to the medic tents by the stables was a small building used for operating, delivering, and storing medicine. You stood by the main nursing station in the large waiting area in good view of the front door, looking down at a clipboard. You wore your long hair in a low ponytail with some hair framing your face. Your white doctor coat covered down past your bottom. You wore a fitted black t-shirt with a v-line and gray, black shorts with your black combat boots with red laces. The past couple days have been nothing but hands-on teaching to the twenty of Jackson’s doctors. Your day was finally ending and you couldn’t wait to head out.

“Hey there Aria,” you turn around to see a familiar face.

“Joel!” you smile and you two exchange a hug. “Just come back from patrol? What can I do for you?” In a bizarre way, you felt close to Joel.

He gave a small smile and cleared his throat, “Yeah I’m here to pick up.”

You go over to behind the nursing station and find a chart with his name on it:

Joel Miller …… Sleep Tea …… 1 bag

You go and retrieve the bag with the dried herbs and give it to him.

“Thanks.. I don’t usually need anything, but recently it’s been a little difficult,” he takes the bag.

“I usually take chamomile tea before bed, it’s the only thing that can relax me after a day of sticking my hand in people,” you smile hoping to get him to laugh.

“Heh, well I guess that’ll do it.”

You look over across the large room to see Ellie coming in the double doors. Your eyes stay on her and a smile is plastered on your face. Joel notices and he looks over to see what you were looking at. “I’ll be back,” you say, not taking your eyes off her, “excuse me.” You quickly make your way to the locker room and take off your doctor coat and retrieve your backpack. When you come back out Joel is gone and Ellie stands by the nursing station with her brown t-shirt with a blue short sleeve button up on top. Her hair was half up.

Ellie finally sees you come over and she perks up. “Hey, you finally showed up,” you go over and give her a hug.

She returns the hug, “Well I’m here, aren't I?” she smiles.

You two start walking over to Ellie’s place. It was about 5:30 and it was golden hour. “I have to make my way out to the town again soon, there's a music store where I get my guitar strings,” Ellie walks side by side with you.

“Hey remember that library where the horde was? I would like to check it out if I could.”

“You can talk to Maria to schedule a patrol, tell her to put me on it.”

“Okay I will.”

“Are you looking for anything in particular?”

“Medical texts mainly.”

Ellie pretends to yawn, “Wow sounds like fun,” she teases.

“Hey!” You punch her arm.

“Oh I’m sorry, was that supposed to hurt?”

“Oh I’ll make it hurt.”

“Hey wha-!”

You push her against the wall of the cemetery and tiptoe up to bite her on her neck.

“Ohh,” Ellie enjoys the bite.

You let her neck go to try and not leave a mark. You lean up and take her lips into yours. “I’ve missed you,” you say.

Ellie looks down at you and with a smile and a shake of her head, she kisses you again. “C’mon,” she takes your hand and leads you the rest of the way.

☆

Ellie turns on her fairy lights and you look around the room. You were taken aback at how good it smelled- her pine scent sitting in the air.

Ellie starts playing some old country music on her cassette radio and you two sit on her couch. She pulls out a joint from a small box under her coffee table. “I rolled it yesterday, you still wanna try?” she asks. You nod. You watch her pull out a lighter and lights it up. She inhales and exhales the smoke smoothly. She smiles and passes it to you. You smile to yourself as you mentally prepare, then you bring it to your lips and inhale. You hold it in a bit then exhale, coughing at the end.

“Shit,” you pass it to her.

“Not too bad, now I gotta show you how to ride a horse,” she chuckles. Ellie blows smoke and watches you look around her room, taking in all the details. From the paint and the guitar, you knew Ellie was an artist. Her callouses showed her dedication in practicing her craft. You too had gifted hands, but in a different way.

“Can I show you something?” You reach for your backpack and take out a burgundy photo album. Ellie’s eyes light up. “When I’m not working, I take pictures.” You scoot over and open the album. Photos of you in Orion when you were 17, you had shorter hair. Some of them you are posing with babies and toddlers you’ve helped deliver. You flip pages and Hannah starts to make an appearance.

“Who is that?” Ellie points to another girl posing with her arms around Hannah.

“One of Hannah’s exes,” you smile, “they were secretly dating for a few months.”

“And him?” Ellie points to a more recent photo of Hannah holding onto a tall blonde guy smiling at the camera.

“Stephan Dubois,” you pause, “Sophie’s father. He died on patrol.” You recall Hannah watching the band of horses leave with men to find Stephan and his troupe. Hannah had just found out she was pregnant.

“Damn..”

Ellie sees photos of Orion, you in the hospital teaching, and some of you in the mirror in your old room. “These are really good,” she flips through the pages and takes a hit. She passes the joint and flips the page to some more interesting photos. “Ohh, what is this?” You laid soaking in a tub, hair dripping wet, dark eye makeup, red lips, and a cigarette near your lips. You gave the camera a seductive smolder with parted lips, the water concealing your body.

You blew out smoke, “I was recreating a photo I found in a magazine,” you leaned back letting the high finally kick in.

Ellie finished the album and placed it on the table, “Are you gonna take more photos like that for me?” She licks her dry lips and cheeses a grin.

“Oh, I definitely can and you can keep in your joint box,” you giggle.

“Or, I’ll keep it on me.”

“Yeah?”

She shrugs, “Yeah, I mean that’s what people do right?” she flashes her eyebrows.

You two look at each other, sharing the joint.

“So,” you start, feeling pretty confident all of a sudden.

“So,” Ellie repeats.

“How obvious did I make it?”

Ellie looks up at the ceiling like she had her thinking cap on, pretending to not know what you meant.

“When we first met,” you continued leaning forward, “how obvious did I make it?” you started to purr again.

“You mean when I had to check if you were clean, and you were staring at my lips?”

You blush at your own ridiculousness, “Pretty obvious huh?”

“Oh yeah, I’d say so.. But it wasn’t one sided,” she gives a serious look. You look at her and take a hit, getting close and sitting in between her legs, you exhale into her mouth.

Ellie closes her eyes. She slips into her mind and she stands on the cold, gray moon watching the earth turn. The familiar feeling of loneliness washes over her. “I would take a one way ticket too,” Ellie says quietly. You recall when you first met and she asked if you’ve ever gone to the moon. She holds your waist and goes to your ear, “..if I was going with you.”

☆

“How’s Aria coming ‘round?” Joel sits in the back patio at Maria’s and Tommy’s.

“Great. Morale at the hospital is up. I’m considering including her in our monthly town meetings,” Maria takes a sip of tea from her mug.

“Is that right?” Joel stairs at the yard.

“Why? What’s on your mind?” Maria raises concern.

“She and Ellie, well, they’ve gotten close.”

“In what way?”

“Well, Ellie came by the hospital today to pick her up.”

Maria smiles to ease Joel’s concern, “So she’s hanging out with new people, a doctor no less, how is that gonna start problems?”

Joel grumbles quietly to himself. “She doesn’t talk to me. All ‘er friends I know.”

“I know you don’t think you’re there for her, but you are. Sometimes people need time to figure things out, the same goes for Ellie. She’ll come back to you Joel, once she figures out how she wants her life to play out, she’ll come along. In the meantime, be there for her, from afar.”

Joel looks at her with pained eyes, smiles, and nods.

☆

Ellie lays over you on her bed, lips locked. Her tongue, eager to make its way back into your mouth. Her body rocks as she kisses you hungrily and her free hand slides under your top. You quiver at her sudden touch.

She stops and looks down at her hand, still underneath your top, resting on your abdomen, “Is this okay?” she whispers looking back at you.

“Yeah, it just tickled a little,” you smile.

“Hmm,” Ellie exhales a soft hum. She watches her hand slide up and cup your breast. Your lips part and she comes back down to kiss you. She messages your breast as she takes the time to kiss you deeply. She pulls down your bra and plays with your nipple between her fingers. You moan into her mouth and your hips begin to slowly buck and squirm. She hums again at your reaction. “Let me take this off babe,” and she proceeds to remove your top and bra in one pull. You lay bare back and you pull up at her top as well, then her bra.

“Ellie..” you couldn’t help but admire her. You lifted your head up and bit down on her neck again, sucking the soft flesh, your hands massage her breast. She gasps and groans at this. She starts to unbutton your jeans, sliding them down a bit with your panties. You detach and look up at Ellie.

“Lay down babe,” she tells you and you do. Ellie looks down and her hand grazes over your sensitive cunt. You were already so wet. Her fingers slide up and down your folds, “Damn babe, is that all for me?” She gives a long lick up your neck to your ear. You involuntarily whimper.

“Yes,” you whisper. Ellie’s touch was like heaven and you were delirious. Ellie starts rubbing your puffy clit. Her bicep moving with every rub, moving slowly, then faster. You feel her breath on your neck. She kept a rhythm, but you wanted more. “Ellie.. Mm.. more babe please!” you moan.

Ellie shoots up to look at you- your face contorted in pleasure. “Yeah?” she asks huskily.

You look into her eyes huffing in air, “Yes please Ellie, I want you.”

Ellie didn’t waste any time taking your pants off. She wanted to love you, to pour herself into you. You gave her a purpose, you made her feel wanted, needed, and desperate.

Ellie lowers herself down to your trimmed cunt. She watches you spread your legs for her. “Fuck Aria,” she kisses the top. She starts to suck on your clit and she watches you close your eyes moan. You feel Ellie slide her long slender fingers into you and you whimper again.

You grip the sheets beneath you, “Fuck right there Ellie!” Ellie keeps her fingers inside fucking your g spot hard and fast. You feel chills run down your legs as your orgasm approaches. “I’m gonna cum, Ellie, fuck you’re making me cum!” Ellie hums on your clit pushing you closer. It finally hits, and you let out your orgasmic moan, bucking your hips and clenching around her fingers. Ellie helps you ride it out as she continues to finger you. She comes up to kiss you, still keeping her fingers inside. You taste your arousal.

“Was it okay?” Ellie kisses your flushed cheek.

You chuckle to yourself, “Are you kidding?” You two laugh and she slides her fingers out and lays beside you. You look down at her jeans, “What about you?”

“Soon,” you turn to your side and lay on top of her, “we're not done, just, taking a break. I wanna make sure you can go a couple more rounds,” she smiles.

“A couple more rounds?” you repeat, feeling your legs still weak from your orgasm, but even your own body betrays you, after looking down at her and cupping her breast, your arousal starts up again. “I want to taste you.”

“Yeah, I want that too,” she licks her wet lips.

☆

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Song: What the Water Gave Me - Artist: Florence and the Machine - Released: 2011

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☆

After Joel left, Maria went ahead to change out the linens in the house. You left your door ajar, and she knocked anyway. She realized you were still out after your shift, which she thought was great, she’d hoped you’d find time to have fun and didn’t want you to get burnt out. She collected your towel and bed sheets into her basket. She looked over at the many textbooks piling your desk and she was curious to look at them.

A lot of texts on being a midwife, doula, delivering a child, neonatal physiology. Then there were others about diseases that happen with age, medical herbs, repairing broken bones, heart surgery, brain surgery. These were some of the books that were displayed on your desk. Maria was amazed at your wide range of knowledge. When putting the texts back in order on your desk, a paper fell out of your ‘Neurology & Neurological Surgery’ text. It was a copy of an x-ray of a human skull that was infected with cordyceps. She flips the page over to see your handwritten notes:

Can it mutate? Can host still be infected and remain human? Immunity?

Maria’s stomach drops. She returns the sheet to the text and puts everything back. She turns to leave and notices the picture on your vanity with an all too familiar looking pendant. She reads the name and turns it over to confirm.

“Yesenia Rose.”

ᖭ༏ᖫ

☆

“Fuck right there,” Ellie has her fingers gripping your hair, holding your head down as you eat her out. “Yeah babe- trying to make me cum?” she moans, ending on a whine. She starts to grind in your mouth and all you can do is desperately hum “mhm” over and over. “Auh.. fuck babe.. you fuck me so good,” she watches you with half lidded eyes and furrowed brows. Her hair sticking to her wet forehead. Her mouth open, letting out gasps and silent whimpers. “Mhm right there.. Mmmh.. fuck yeah I’m cumming baby. Fuck! Auhh yeah take it!” Her orgasm falls on her hard, as she talks you through it and rides your face. You taste her orgasm and lap it all up.

Ellie falls back onto the bed breathing heavily and lightly sweating. “Come here,” she reaches out a hand for you and you lay beside her. She wraps both of you in a thin blanket and pulls you into her. It had been a couple rounds as she promised, and you were ready to close your eyes and sleep. Despite being tired you felt an over looming feeling caving in on you. Like you were going to depend, attach, and become addicted to Ellie. In a nonmedical term; fall for her, which is not your style, and yet, you let yourself fall- fast and head first.

Ellie watches your resting face. She had never had it this good with Cat. You two understood each other without having to say anything, and you fulfilled her deepest cravings. She knew you were special and wanted to attach herself to you in every way possible.

You open your eyes to catch her green ones looking back at you. She brushes some hair behind your ear. You smile, and it must have been contagious because she smiled back.

☆

END OF EPISODE 3

CLOSING CREDITS

Ellie Photo Credits

Cover: Themodsofus - https://twitter.com/themodsofus?lang=en

Closing: Rahaf on pinterest - https://pin.it/4hmG4tgQu

All covers and photos were created on Canva.com

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coeluvr · 19 hours

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So I just read the demo for the first time and… are you okay? Like do you need to talk to someone? Cuz holy shit, that was depressing. Don’t get me wrong, it was great, but I am just mentally, emotionally, and physically drained now (don’t ask me about that last part). All in all, I really enjoyed it, but I do have some thoughts.

Firstly, I don’t understand how anyone from Rosea (except for Hunter, Fadiya and her mom, and maybe Helios) has any fans. Like did they just forget that everyone else (including Lancelot) contributed to the total destruction of our family? Everyone’s over here shipping Lancelot and Luceris, and to be fair, if this was a different story I would too, but like… they’re the enemy? Speaking of Luceris…

Dude is on some shit. Like I get it’s the point, but everything about our relationship with him just feels weird and wrong, and I’m counting the days til we can kill him. Until then, I guess I’ll have to make do with disrespecting the memory of his dead wife at every opportunity. Also side note, but as a Straight Male tm it does feel a little weird having to fake a romance with another guy, especially a guy that’s like fifty years older than me lol (Luceris really isn’t beating the Catholic Priest allegations)

The rest of the cast are a lot of fun, and I’m glad they all at least have sympathy towards MC. I think Hunter is the coolest character ever and I want to be them, and Fadiya can do no wrong in my eyes. Vincent sucks, but I haven’t really spent much time with him so maybe that’ll change. Helios I feel sorry for. He’s a nice guy and I do like him a lot, but he’s unfortunately collateral damage in my crusade against Father Luceris. I hate that we have to hurt him to get revenge, but it feels very realistic and gives your decisions a lot more weight.

On the flip side, Soarine is perfect and has never done anything wrong in her life ever. If Soarine has a million fans, then I am one of them. If Soarine has ten fans, then I am one of them. If Soarine has only one fan then that is me. If Soarine has no fans, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against Soarine, then I am against the world.

All in all, I love what you’re doing with this game, even if I do have to take a twenty minute break after each playthrough just to decompress lol. I can’t wait to see where this goes and am gonna stare at a wall until the next update drops. Thanks for making such an interesting story and give Soarine my love 💚

Lol hi, anon!

First of all, I'm fine 😭 I'm like that one happy guy that writes horror whose name I keep forgetting but I bet someone knows who I mean.

Regarding the characters from Rosea that are not all that great having fans, I don't know why that's unexpected to you if I am being honest lmao. In every fandom I've ever been in, there have always been people that like the antagonists. I am one of the people that ship Lancelot and Luceris but I feel like that's to be expected since I literally created them. 💀 The day I write in all of the side couples you'll combust. /j

But also you don't have to fake a "romance" with Luceris? 😥💀 I can only think of the husband comments MC can make and those are entirely optional so...

I'm glad you like the other characters! Soarine is indeed everything. 🙇‍♀️

Thank you for your kind words! 💗

#coe answers

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bawbawbridgie · 2 days

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the 'palace' scene

i have been WAITING to talk about this scene and it has finally come to it. this will be my last post in terms of the changes because i believe i have gone through them all (could be wrong).

instead of writing the whole scene (because that would make this post even longer), i decided to include an audio recording from the current broadway version (Joel Meyers & Erik Christopher Peterson 2024) and the original script. i recommend listening to it while reading the original script before reading the rest of this post.

alrighty, time to go into my thoughts.

essentially, this scene has gone from a cute little moment between two besties having a lighthearted chat about their feelings for girls, to now a very intimate and quite emotionally vulnerable scene between them.

removal of love interests:

rose and scorpius’ dynamic is strictly friendship now with him only asking to be friends in which she still says no. that is a self explanatory change which results in no evidence of scorpius having romantic feelings for her. along with this, polly, another female love interest, is completely removed from this conversation. this takes away pretty much EVERY interaction scorpius has with a female interest in a ‘romantic’ way.

now with albus; thank god no random mention of the older female professor ew. and no albus getting a girlfriend first. coincidently also removing all the lines referring to him having romantic feelings for female characters. without the statement of liking older women, it removes he emphasis on albus romantically having feeling for delphi in which we know was also changed in the scene with ginny and albus.

now what does this do to the narrative and perception of these characters? when you remove the female love interests in this situation, it leaves a gap in the story. the gap being who do these characters now actually love?? and since this play is pretty much about ‘love can conquer all’, WHO ELSE ARE THEY MEANT TO PUT THESE FEELINGS OF LOVE ON TO OTHER THAN EACH OTHER???? you cannot deny that all these changes made are for the benefit of this relationship and puts a lot more emphasis on them and what they mean to each other.

slight word changes:

“marriage” to “allegiance” again relates to the removal of scorpius’ romantic feelings for female characters, completely taking away this whole part of the plot for him. like all he wants is to form a friendship with rose! platonic friends is what they are now.

again removing “love” and changing it to “harmony” takes away the romantic feelings and just creates a nice friendship. but i do think its sooooo funny that they changed “love” to “harmony” because THAT would’ve been too far for them. as albus wants that palace with scorpius, having “love” would be confirming that they love each other. that can absolutely not happen. but aren’t they just kinda synonyms or am i stupid. also it wouldn’t be that controversial because they already used “love” as albus’ weakness WITH SCORPIUS IN THAT SCENE soooo… the creatives were just too scared to leave it the same.

we also have the whole ‘in my head’ but we have gone through it in a previous post (https://www.tumblr.com/bawbawbridgie/748173064391557120/since-you-guys-were-begging-me-to-write-about-it?source=share).

rose’s line is now changed to “if YOU TWO let it be weird”… WHY WOULD IT BE WEIRD???? firstly, he was only asking to be friends. and secondly, why would it be weird for albus? my boy didn’t do anything? it’s almost as if rose is implying something else? perhaps her finding out that something else is going on between them? mhmmm idk. reminder that rose is quite literally on the stage listening to this whole convo.

THAT line:

i have so many thoughts on this line and what albus is getting at. is this albus’ way of admitting he has feelings for scorpius? is it albus ‘subtly’ trying to understand how his best friend feels about him by pushing the limits of their friendship and see how he’d react? is he asking him out? is he saying he loves him in his own way as he struggles with feelings? orrrr is it simply albus just asking him if rose, his cousin, is actually the one scorpius, his bestie, wants? this line is definitely up to how you all perceive it. for me, i personally feel it’s albus attempting to address delphi outing him because they never really expand on that moment, as well as attempting to push the boundaries of this friendship to see if scorpius wants more than this as well.

i also find it amusing that albus says this after scorpius expresses he only wants “harmony” and an “eventual alligence” with rose. like scorpius hasn’t actually shown any romantic interest in rose so this means albus doesn’t even want him talking to her. god he’s obsessed with him.

rose’s input:

THANK GOD FOR THE REMOVAL OF “SCORPION KING” COZ HOW DID SHE KNOW???? whatever moving on. her cute little line, “you good albus?” eeeeee i love her new role in this scene. she is just looking out for the happiness of her cousin in which i assume she knows about the two of them being more than besties. fr she is also a big scorbus shipper by the end of the play and we love her for that.

why tf did the creatives do this?:

ughhhhh i do not know. i guess this was the closest they could get without actually confirming they are together?? idk. i do find it amusing to think about the creatives trying to rewrite this scene and how proud they would’ve been when they created this line. kudos to you jack thorne and john tiffany. but in general with the changes, i have so many thoughts and theories about why/when/how they did this which i would love to dive into but it deserves a whole post dedicated to itself.

but i think at the end of this scene/play, this relationship is open ended like there is no definite answer of what they are and can be interpreted however you’d like. and i genuinely really like this, it’s somehow comforting. one question that i still ask myself (which could be quite problematic but here we go) is: are they actually canon? i have so many thoughts about this and could definitely do a seperate post but put simply… sadly no. PLEASE DONT HATE ME I WANT THEM TO BE CANON BUT I CANNOT 100% SAY THEY ARE!!!! and i have my reasons… but that’s a whole different issue.

although we would all like a CLEAR confession/answer (to get us out of our misery), but they are only 14/15 and finding themselves so who knows, maybe at dinner they worked out what they are but i guess we will never know?? ok bye sorry for all that xx

#i still want a chat with the creatives who made these changes #i wonder how long they debated on what to include in this scene #this scene is burnt into my brain #forever grateful for the changes in this scene #cursed child #hpcc #harry potter and the cursed child #albus x scorpius #albus potter x scorpius malfoy #albus severus potter #scorpius malfoy #scorbus

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chemicallywrit · 3 hours

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Happy Audio Drama Sunday! School is out for me, so I can finally rest. Oh man. I needed the rest. It's great to sit there an not move, isn't it? And I got to listen to so many good podcasts this week as well, it really made the last week of school a treat. Let's take a look:

🍔 I feel like every new episode of @midnightburgr is a precious little gem, and this one is no different. I love getting to see pre-found-family Casper. You can't escape the found family, idiot, get cherished! It's been good to watch his character development throughout the show, and then seeing this little missing piece of it that he doesn't quite remember answers several questions about him. I love him. He's the worst and I love him. Alongside each of the three sisters, this season is promising to be absolutely fascinating.

📼 Oh The Magnus Protocol, you never disappoint. I want to run this episode by the teenagers I know to see what they think of it, because I understood what the influencer was saying, but I know many adults who absolutely would not. Like, I'm on this website. Meanwhile, Alice rejecting help is setting her up for something truly awful and I dread what her fate may be. It's delicious.

👻 @monstrousproductions's Travelling Light is often so soft and good--I neglected to include last week's episode on the AD Sunday write-up, like a FOOL, even though it made me CRY--but this episode settles into a gorgeous little ghost story that's honestly the logical conclusion of creative sentients in space. I loved it. On top of that, there's this tiny morsel of Óli's backstory that I am DYING to know more about. I can't wait for the next ep.

🪲 @cryptonature always hits just right, but this last episode was everything I want in the world. MOSS TIDE MOSS TIDE MOSS TIDE

🧛🏻‍♂️What a treat it is to listen to @re-dracula along with everyone this year. I am loving everyone's analysis and thoughts this go-round and I am once again appreciating the work of Ben Galpin and Karim Kronfli in creating just the most horrific character dynamic. I know droughtula is imminent, so there's still plenty of time to catch up. Join us, join us, join us--

✂️ In Hannah news, Inn Between is starting to wrap up for the season! This week brings the penultimate episode, which is definitely totally fine and won't bode ill for any beloved party members of the Lowlifes. We'll also see the last episode of "Run Rabbit" on The Dead, and I'm so pleased with my actors' work, so I can't wait to hear what the sound wizards have done with it.

Hey! This week is better than last as far as finances go--thanks to my beloveds for helping out--but if you like what I make or enjoyed reading this, would you consider leaving me a tip?

See y'all next week!

#audio drama sunday #audio fiction #fiction podcast #midnight burger #the magnus protocol #travelling light #the cryptonaturalist #re: dracula #inn between #the dead podcast

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elegyofthemoon · 2 months

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welp! i finished catching up with 2.1 thankfully but -

#avil plays hsr #im so glad i was able to catch up before i go out of town for the weekend but. yeah.#tbh i dont have Thoughts atm about the whole quest #NOT TO SAY IT WAS BAD IT WAS REALLY GOOD !! i really enjoyed the story #and esp the way that they had decided to do the storytelling of the update #but um. otherwise i have no thoughts. i was just sitting here for the ride and wao was that a ride.#UP TO THE VERY END TOO my goodness #ill just say: there are some bits i was a little confused on but i think some processing and we'll be fine alskdjfhl #aaaaaaand some additional investigation #oh there was a bit of the story that made me go 'hahaha real tsurumi island vibes' and now i miss tsurumi LMAO #good job me.#its gonna take so much willpower for me to not pull for acheron btw.#i did try to pull for luocha before. and lost to clara which is fine aslkdjfha #i cant be mad at clara bc i like clara but i havent used her. at all.#and im trying VERY HARD TO HOLD OUT FOR ROBIN....#but also im like ..... acheron......#wait. i can just. i can read her character story...........#i have nothing else set for the day aside from a quick call i think but besides that. i can go get lost in penacony for a while LMAO

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galaxseacreature · 2 years

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The shortness of today's entry leaves me plenty of room to imagine Mina shut up in her room reading Jonathan's diary. It really mirrors the reader's experience beginning Dracula.

Of course, Mina is reading handwritten pages of shorthand. The reader is given the clarity and distance of plain English text. The form encapsulates the difference in relationship to the story. For a reader picking up a horror novel, they've opted in for the safe thrill of fictional terror. For Mina, it's real, tragic, and personal. But both know from the beginning that something terrible must happen, only not what it will be. Both can experience the dramatic irony of the early warnings from locals and signs things are not quite right long before Jonathan could.

Mina reads the whole journal at once. For Dracula Daily readers this is very different from the slow, suspenseful crawl of the updates. But it is very likely for a reader tackling the novel in the usual manner to be drawn into reading quickly to see what happens next.

On the other hand, Mina at least knows Jonathan survives his ordeal, undercutting that tension. Although if a reader has been spoiled, is familiar with adaptations, or has read the novel a decade ago and dimly remembers a few plot points (hello) it could be the same. And I have no idea how much a reader in 1897 might have known going in; it would be interesting to see how the book was marketed.

And of course Mina reading the diary brings her closer than any other character to knowing what the reader knows. She didn't see the full course of Lucy's illness, but she saw the beginning in Whitby, plus the shipwreck and surrounding events. She could really start putting the pieces together.

#dracula daily #september 23 #mina harker #this is long and doesn't have much of a point #i just really like thinking about when the form a work takes reflects the story #and these characters keeping so many records write so that it can be read! they must interpret too!#also it's a little funny thinking of Mina compressing everything we've been unpacking since May into one afternoon #just furiously reading and thinking back to her stupid vacation and then suddenly being like ''wait....boxes of dirt?! ...fuck''#mine

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alchemiclee · 7 months

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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)

#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now #that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end #ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes #youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused #more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that #aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better #please someone do this 😭#lee text #hsr #i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end #my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder #but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him #instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now #they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot #so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it #maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because #they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing #we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end #or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e #i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid #is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead #OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation #and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying #his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed #these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better #lee rambles

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semiotomatics · 1 year

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it is criminal that people are sleeping on Strange World

criminal

#reading abt it flopping in the box office is making me cry #its so freaking good you guys #the dialogue is simplistic but the story/theme/worldbuilding/aesthetic is SO GODDAMN GOOD #also the protag is queer as heck and i love him to itty bitty pieces #he flirts with a boy!!#and then his dad embarasses him the way only a dad can in front of said boy!!#he ''comes out'' to his big gruff manly grandpa and i held my breath waiting for the stereotypical homophobia #or at least the whole initial-surprise-then-pointed-acceptance-as-overcorrection that we usually have to be satisfied with #but no!!#they just treated it the exact same goddamn way as if he'd used she/her pronouns to refer to his crush #literally it was so normalized and i love it #there was at least one other queer-coded character (I'd argue 2 but the second is more debatable) and it was just #it was lovely #i didnt personally relate to the theme so it didnt tug at my heartstrings THAT much #but i went into that theatre severely emotionally compromised so i sobbed through half of it anyway lemme tell you #anyway please go see strange world #bring your friends #bring your children #bring your parents and your grandparents #bring your dog if you can get them in (make sure to still buy them a ticket tho!)#dont let Disney see this film as a failed experiment

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dependsonwhospitching · 1 year

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There’s a difference between needing to be saved and asking somebody who cares about you for help.

Karin Slaughter, Girl, Forgotten

#im a moron bc i didnt realize this was basically the sequel to pieces of her #until i watched the show #i read the book so long ago lmao and i was watching pieces of her and was like wow a lot of her stories have US marshalls in them #and then i realized this laura is that laura and this gordon is that gordon etc etc #anyway #not as gruesome as karin slaughter can get #it was interesting and i got through it pretty quickly #but i did feel like i skipped a chapter or something #bc i was like ??? wait what did this person do how did we get here how did this escalate #a lot of time was spent on explaining the predicament which was great but i didnt quite understand the actual reveal #bc it was so fast #hence i think i skipped a chapter #and i read this back in february but just completely forgot to log it #there were also all these weird little quips that the main character was saying and i was like what #something about the only hood she had been to was a neighborhood??? or something along those lines #it took me out of the story every time #but as always with karin slaughter #entertaining #books

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povlnfour · 2 months

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ੈ✩‧₊˚ CRASH LANDING (LN4)

pairing: lando norris x f!reader

summary: lando accidentally hits a stranger with his car — the internet can’t stop referring to it as a meet cute. (un)fortunately for lando, mclaren agree.

genre: comedy, fluffy

authors note: a continuation of the ending to beached! you don’t need to have read that to understand this, however it will give some insight to the mclaren matchmaker jokes <3 also in light of that, this is set a few races in the future! *oscarsgf user refers to the character in beached!

*faceclaim: keeahwah on ig (but please imagine her as you see fit!)

landonorris posted a tweet ੈ✩‧₊˚

tmz posted a tweet ੈ✩‧₊˚

landonorris posted tweets ੈ✩‧₊˚

lando’s texts with y/n ੈ✩‧₊˚

landonorris just posted ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by carlossainz55 and 203,488 others

landonorris practicing safe driving

view all comments

user you are so unserious sir

user SOOOO IS THAT THE GIRL HE HIT BC

user no clue but she’s CUTE

oscarpiastri @/fia look here

landonorris i will literally remind your girlfriend of your murder attempts when you first met

user it’s giving meet cute

user i’d read a fic on it

yourusername you literally drove off BEFORE I WAS EVEN IN THE CAR

landonorris IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I WAS DISTRACTED

user ASSUMING THIS IS HER???

user @/user CLICKING ON HER ACCOUNT IT DEFINITELY IS

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by bestfriend, landonorris and 3,907 others

yourusername monaco recap🇲🇨 successfully didn’t get hit by too many cars!

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user AS IF LANDO HIT THE HOTTEST PERSON IVE EVER SEEN

user nah this is actually a full meet cute i’m sorry this is the shit you see in romcoms

bestfriend still can’t believe you didn’t take compensation but accepted a lunch date instead

yourusername can you blame me

user @/yourusername oh girl no one can you are so real for that

friend1 wait till everyone finds out you’re only there for another 4 days

user WHAT. i can’t have them separated already😶

user parasocial relationship with lando ended y/n is my new idol now

twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted stories ੈ✩‧₊˚

[captions:

photo 1: lando paid for me to get my nails done !!!

photo 2: :D

photo 3: ur all romanticizing my life rn but this is my view in a fancy ass restaurant]

texts with your best friend ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris and 11,276 others

yourusername final days in heaven. i’ll miss so much about this place

👤 tagged bestfriend, landonorris

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user wait she doesn’t live in monaco?? she’s leaving??? just after i’ve gotten attached to her and lando???

bestfriend please come back to visit asap i cannot go too long without my y/n cuddles

landonorris seconded

user um lando sir,,, seconded the whole thing? cuddles included?

user this cannot be the end of the meet cute i refuse to

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by oscarpiastri and 286,425 others

landonorris safe to say i’ve had a pretty good break between races

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user a whole post dedicated to her with THAT caption? oh yep they’re whipped

user please tell me y’all are going to stay in contact?

user my heart is shattering already

mclaren 🧡

user MCLAREN PLEASE YOU’VE DONE IT ONCE BEFORE

texts with lando ੈ✩‧₊˚

mclaren interview ੈ✩‧₊˚

[transcript:

o: safe to say you’ve had a pretty interesting break before this race

l: hey let me remind you what happened for you over winter break!

o: okay but i didn’t literally hit my girlfriend with my car!

l: oh so you finally asked her out officially?

o: stop deflecting!

l: okay okay! yeah safe to say i had a nice time. always need a bit of a change in life!

o: so how are things going now?

l: (awkwardly) well you know how it’s… yeah

o: ah i get it. quite literally been there done that got the t shirt. but hey you did say all that when i got my big moment about mclaren—

l: no no no don’t give them any ideas! they’re listening!]

mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by 203,467 people

mclaren the boys are back! don’t forget to check out the new interview on our channel where lando and oscar talk all things hopes for the second half of the season, workouts and… girls?

view all comments

user mclaren. mclaren look at me. you know what you have to do

mclaren 👀

user when oscar asked him about y/n… i wanted to cry he looked so sad are things over between them?

oscarsgf @/oscarpiastri you’re such a gossip

oscarpiastri you love me for it

oscarsgf @/oscarpiastri you know what i’m thinking?

oscarpiastri @/oscarsgf plotting?

oscarsgf @/oscarpiastri plotting!

user what on earth is going on…

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by oscarsgf and 29,481 others

yourusername lately :)

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user you are so ! gorgeous !

user i can see why lando is obsessed

user speaking of… where is our favorite brit in the likes☹️

oscarsgf pretty girl!!!

yourusername oh?!? thank u cutie!!!

user ^ oh their plotting is in progress???

mclaren you’d look good in orange👀🧡

landonorris posted a tweet ੈ✩‧₊˚

an email from mclaren ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted stories ੈ✩‧₊˚

mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by 287,456 people

mclaren it’s race day🫡

view all comments

user WHO IS THE GIRL

user IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS

user PLEASE TELL ME THATS Y/N

user LOOK AT HER STORIES ITS DEFINITELY HER

user SOMEONE WHO IS THERE KEEP US UPDATED PLEASE

user just posted a thread ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 106,544 others

yourusername i don’t know guys, do you think he’s cute?

view all comments

user OH MY GOD FINALLY

landonorris i will hit you with my car again

yourusername is that a challenge mr. norris?

landonorris @/yourusername oh you better run fast

yourusername @/landonorris well duh cause you don’t know how to do the speed limit

user i love them. i love them so much.

oscarsgf omg can we force the boys to do mclaren double dates

landonorris leave this comment section now

yourusername @/landonorris too late we’re already texting

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername, mclaren and 300,091 others

landonorris we are successful victims of mclarens matchmaking services

view all comments

user THEYVE DONE IT AGAINNN

user new fav couple fr

oscarpiastri oh how quickly you all forget me

user @/oscarpiastri WE COULD NEVER

user clearly i need to work for mclaren to get a cute gf

oscarpiastri @/oscarsgf is the second photo giving you flashbacks as well

oscarsgf they’re stealing our thing

yourusername thank you for posting the nice park date photo of me

landonorris well in all the others you’re mid cartwheel

mclaren glad to be of service🧡 anyone else? @/patriciooward how are you doing?

landonorris i’m gonna stop you right there

———————

a/n: WELL. hello friends. i said i wasn’t gonna post a one shot for a while, then this happened. i just hope its up to standard! i’m a little rusty in my writing considering everything!

in regards to new works, gonna be working on getting my wips out soon, and maybe popping some new smaus out at the same time as they’re easy and quick-ish for me to work on considering everything going on! do forgive me if i do some random family orientated stuff — pregnancy hormones are giving me baby fever for everything (is it still baby fever if you’re having a baby?)

let me know your thoughts in the comments/reblogs/asks — i’ve missed talking to you all sm! i have anon emojis available if people wanna chat too🤍

for the first time in a very long time,,, love, giselle xx

taglist (found here): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @izzy-marvel @lucyysthings @lichterfee @tallrock35 @treehouse-house @iloveyou3000morgan @scopeiguess @amaranthineghost @gwginnyweasley @hetfieldd @sweetbabygirlsworld @wittywhispers @dark-night-sky-99 @namgification @casperlikej @marshmummy @geniusalpaca

tags for this post: @the-untamed-soul @itsprashimusic @purplephantomwolf @jasminesacademia

#f1 x reader #f1 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris au #lando norris imagine #mclaren #lando norris blurb #lando norris smau #lando norris scenario #lando norris one shot

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rosielovesf1 · 2 months

Text

spilling secrets on stream | LN4

what better place to hard launch a relationship than twitch?

word count: 1.3k

warnings: none!

author's note: it's been so fun thinking up little story ideas and this is the product of one of them. fair warning that it's been forever since i've played fortnite so probably not very accurate when it comes to that 🤦‍♀️ thank youuu for reading and have a great day!!

also my requests are open if you would like to see a certain story/driver!! 🫶

“Hi guys, sorry I’m late,” Lando said, adjusting his headphones as he started the stream. There were a surprising number of people online for this Thursday afternoon, but he had posted on his story that Max would be joining him, so that could explain the popularity. Not that he would ever tell him that.

“Max is joining now.” He stretched his arms over his head, smirking when the chat quickly noticed the sliver of skin he’d exposed in the simple motion. Oops. “Is Max with you right now? No, chat, I’m in Monaco. How’s offseason? It’s good. I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing.”

Lando read through and answered a couple more questions until Max’s face popped up on his screen.

“Hello hello,” Max said, waving to the camera. “How are we, chat? What are we playing?”

After a couple minutes of debate, they decided on Fortnite. The first round was short lived- Lando got shot pretty much immediately. Now, him and Max were two of ten players remaining, but the sound of the front door opening caused him to turn his focus away from the game.

“y/n?” Lando called out after muting himself, turning away from the screen to see if his girlfriend had just arrived home.

“Bro, what are you doing?” Max protested, his character running circles around Lando’s still one. Two other characters spotted them over a nearby hill and started firing immediately, with Max left alone to defend them. “You muppet!” Within seconds, Lando had died, and Max didn’t have enough time to resuscitate him in the midst of defending himself.

“My bad.” Lando turned back to the screen, laughing at Max’s distress.

“That was entirely your fault.” Max responded, pausing to look at his phone alert from Lando.

I think y/n just got back and she doesn’t know I’m on stream. Can you stay on until I get back?

Even though Lando and his girlfriend were practically living together at this point, staying at each other’s homes almost every night during the offseason, they were yet to make it official in the eyes of the public. Max knew this better than everyone- often having to cover for the couple when they weren’t cautious enough- and smirked as he typed back a yes. Lando took that as a sign to communicate his exit. “Be right back, chat. Don’t be too mean to Max while I’m gone.”

He opened and shut the door to the room behind him, padding down the soft carpet runner of the hallway. “y/n?” Her bright pink trainers were by the front door, and seeing as he could hear the shower down the hall, she must’ve just come back from a run.

All of a sudden, music started blasting- a Doja Cat song, Lando knew from y/n's time on the aux whenever they were in the car together.

“y/n,” Lando laughed, knocking on the bathroom door, “I’m on stream darling.” It wasn’t that he minded the noise, or that the chat would know very quickly that there was a girl in his house (he wasn’t really the Doja Cat type). If it were up to him, he would’ve posted y/n the day they had made it official, four months ago. But they’d decided to wait a bit and enjoy the privacy.

No response still. He tried the bathroom door handle but it was locked. She must’ve not known he was coming home, Lando thought cheekily to himself. Otherwise, it would’ve been open. He gave up and retreated back to the room with his setup, shooting a quick text over to y/n that he was home.

Lando settled back into his chair, turning the camera on. “Alright, chat, I’m back. Sorry to leave you with Max.”

Max raised an eyebrow at the music that filtered in through Lando’s mic, choosing not to comment on it. The chat wasn’t as sly though, with every other comment questioning the source.

“Didn’t know Lando was a Doja Cat fan. I’m not.” The ambiguous comment sparked even more questions, and Lando just shook his head jokingly as they started another game. As he died for a third time, Max cursing and threatening to find someone better to play with, the music cut and the distant sound of the shower running stopped.

“Lando?” y/n called out, freezing as she read over his text in the hallway. Lando’s eyes widened and he quickly muted himself, sliding his headphones off. As he stood up he heard y/n's footsteps nearing the door and managed to shut the camera off just in time.

Lando pulled open the door and the scent of coconut and hibiscus floated in. y/n looked up at him with wide eyes in sweatpants and a stolen Quadrant t-shirt, her hair still wet from the shower.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t realize that you were streaming.” She peeked over his shoulder and her eyes widened at the rapidly scrolling chat, the viewers going crazy about the distinctly female voice they’d overheard. Max had given up at pretending to ignore them and had shut off his camera as well, only adding to the viewers assumptions.

He pulled her into a hug, mumbling “You smell good.” into her hair as a way of greeting. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed tightly, rocking back and forth.

“Did they hear me?”

“Yeah.” They shuffled over to the computer together, her almost afraid to read the chat that was still scrolling at a million miles a minute. Lando read out one comment that said “can Lando’s girlfriend fight?” and raised a questioning eyebrow at the girl next to him.

“Heck yeah. Look at these muscles. Try me.” She bounced back and forth on her heels, hands up in a boxing stance.

Lando laughed at her, locking her in a headlock that she quickly wiggled out of. “Not fair,” she whined. “Caught me by surprise.”

He pulled her in front of him to straighten out the locks of hair he’d mussed, and kissed her forehead before looking down at her. “What if we told them about us right now?”

“You think?” She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, and he ran a gentle thumb over it to get her to stop.

“I think they’re going to love you as much as I do.” She leaned into him at that statement, and he watched her eyes as she seemed to process his statement.

“Alright,” she still looked hesitant, but brightened up as she opened her mouth to speak again. “I’m already wearing the right shirt and everything.”

“Quadrants #1 fan.” He smiled, pulling her over to the computer. They split the chair so that both of them could sit, and she draped her legs comfortably over his. He rested one hand on her thigh, using the other to restart the stream. “Ready?”

She nodded, and all of a sudden they were back online.

“Hi, chat.” Lando smiled, laughing as the comments started pouring in. “I’ve been meaning to introduce you to someone. This is my girlfriend, y/n.”

“Hi, everyone,” y/n said, sporting a smile to match her boyfriend’s. “How are you doing?”

“Finally.” Max let out a sigh, clicking his camera back on.

“Thanks for covering for us, Max.” The trio sat and talked for a little bit, y/n answering questions for her from the chat that Lando pointed out every once in a while. They eventually turned the game back on, y/n holding her own and often outranking Max and Lando. In the midst of waiting for a new game to load, Lando wrapped an arm around her waist, squeezing her side.

“I’m so glad I get to show you off now.”

@landonorris: kiss me more 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

@y/nl/n: cat’s out of the bag 🤭

#f1 fanfic #f1 x y/n #mclaren f1 #f1 fic #lando norris fluff #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris #f1 x reader

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waughymommy · 3 months

Text

WM: Breastfeeding Kink & Diaper play

Disclaimer: all characters depicted in this story are consenting adults over the age of 18. If you are NOT 18 or older, Don't Read if UNDER 18

I startle awake from a throbbing pain in my breasts. Quietly groaning as I turn over onto my back not wanting to wake my sleeping little prince. My hand moves up to my big tits and oh god are they swollen. I’m not sure what’s been going on but for the past few days my breasts have been so tight and swollen and it’s just getting worse. I slowly begin to massage them in an attempt to ease the pain. “Oh fuck this isn’t helping at all” i whisper to myself.

I pull my loose tank top away from my breasts and look at the swollen mounds. The only time I’ve ever seen breasts look like this were when my best friend breastfed her little in front of me… wait. It can’t be can it? There’s no way I haven’t even been taking the special pills she had to take to induce lactation!

I open my phone to Google and type in “what can cause you to lactate?” I click the first site that pops up. “There are many things that can induce lactation such as Yada yada yada medications such a birth control… FUCK.” I whisper yell. I did not just accidentally induce lactation with the new birth control I’m on. Oh god we haven’t even had this discussion yet I’m not sure it’s even something he’d be into. But my breasts hurt so bad I need some relief.

I get up from bed as quietly as I can and walk into the adjoining bathroom. I flicker the lights on and keep the door open just the slightest bit incase my little prince needs me. I look in the mirror and slowly pull my tank top down. My tits spring out all heavy and full. “Fuck” I hiss quietly as I press down in the swollen flesh.

I slide my finger down to my nipple and begin to stimulate it. A milky liquid starts to drip out and I almost can’t believe it. I moan as my finger squeezes some more out. Oh fuck that feels good.

A quiet voice interrupts my ministrations “Mommy?” I look over to my left side and my little prince is at the bathroom door just in his princess t shirt and full diaper staring at my dripping nipples in wide eyed wonder. Fuck he looks so beautiful with his bed head and sleepy eyes. He rubs at his eyes and hold the door frame.

“Mommy what’s that?” He points to the liquid still dripping from my hard nipple.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about baby boy just turn your little tush around and go back to bed. I’ll be right there.” I say as I walk toward him and turn him around with my hands on his shoulders walking him back to the bed. He throws his head back and whines lowly, “but mommy I’m thirsty das why I woke up!” He says as I set him down back in bed.

He looks up at me and his eyes move back to my nipples and his lips part and drool seeps out. “Okay baby you just wait right here and mommy will get you a drink of water.” I move toward the door but he grabs my wrist and with those doe eyes of his staring up at me and says “But I wan mommy’s milkies!” He whines again. His tonight peaks out and he licks his lips. “I’m not sure honey we havent really spoken about this.” I say as I softly caress the side of his face. He leans his head into my hand and pouts.

“Please mommy please I just wanna try and see what it’s like. If you don’t like it or If I don’t like it we always have our safe word!” He trues to reason with me. And he’s not wrong so what could be the harm? I’ve secretly wanted this so badly for the longest time. I sigh and smile at him and nod.

“Okay sweetheart you won, let mommy get comfy in bed first.” He claps his hands in excitement and slaps a sloppy wet kiss on my lips. I laugh as I crawl into bed and settle against my pillows. I pat my lap for him, “come here sweetie and lay side ways in mommy’s lap. Put you head right there in mommy’s elbow.” I maneuver him a little till he’s sitting just right, I cover him in the blankets and turn the low lamp on. A soft glow covers the room as he looks up at me with his lips slightly parted. I can tell he’s just as excited as I am. My sweet little boy.

“Alright baby boy open those pretty lips for mommy.” I hold my boob up and my nipple leaks as I pull it and drop it in his waiting mouth. His lips close around my nipple immediately and he begins to softly suck. It takes him a few moments to really get the hang on how to latch on but soon his tongue is working in overdrive and hes suckling away like his life depends on it. I a gasp at the strength of his suckling and softly run my hands through his brown hair. “Sweetheart mommy isn’t going anywhere you can drink slowly, I promise I’m not going anywhere.” He closes his eyes and the suckling gets softer as soon as he realizes I’m not gonna snatch my nipple away from him. I moan quietly as I watch him drink.

He’s such a sweet little boy suckling on his mommy’s nipples. I slide my hand down to his diaper and rub at his diapee covered cock. It’s so hard. I won’t lie my panties have absolutely socked through at this point. The feeling of his tongue lapping at the milk from my tits is just so erotic. He moans as my hand continues it’s rubbing.

His hand reaches for my other leaking breast and he begins to fondle the nipple. Pulling and clutching at it, the milk dribbles done his fingers soaking them. I can’t help but moan out at the feeling. “Oh sweet boy that feels so good. You’re such a good boy just keep playing with mommy’s nipples like that.” I say a little breathless.

I slip my hand into his diaper and just as my hand reaches the tip of his little cock he begins to piss right into my palm. I laugh a little and look at him a she pauses his suckling. His cheeks flame red, “I’m sorry mommy I couldn’t hold it.” He’s so fucking cute.

“It’s okay baby you can go pee when you need to you know that. It’s why you have a diaper on to be able to lose control over your bowels and bladder whenever you need.” His stream continues as it hits my hand and I press down on the slit it’s pouring out of feeling the force of it. His piss is so warm on my hand as it fills his already soaked diaper.

He smiles and nuzzles my breast and begins to suckle again as he pisses in my hand. He’s so fucking sexy sometimes I can’t believe he’s all mine.

My sweet little boy.🍼😍💦🥰

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harstyle · 3 months

Text

the styles’ nanny

Summary: Y/N is a twenty-three year old uni student and Harry is a thirty-six year old single dad. Y/N is a part-time nanny and Harry is her employer. Y/N thinks Harry is hot, and Harry… well, he’s a bit confused.

Pairing: plussize-nanny!yn + older-singledad!harry

Word-count: 7.3k

Warnings: age gap (13 years), mentions of alcohol and drinking and lashing out during an argument, no happy ending yet

A/N: I don’t know why I keep writing characters that start out insecure but I swear it’ll get better later!! Let me know if you want to read more, I’m thinking maybe three parts? Also, the fact that y/n is plus-size doesn’t really become a big deal in the story, but that was how I originally had her in mind so I’m leaving it that way. Hope you enjoy!

Y/N was twenty three. She was twenty three, and she used to love being twenty three. She used to love going out to party, the feeling of alcohol burning down her throat, the rush of palpable excitement when having sex with people she’d never met before. She used to love that. But she didn’t anymore.

And the reason for that? One Harry Styles.

It was ridiculous, of course; Harry had other companions he could turn to before ever settling on her— oh and not to mention, he was her boss. Yet, it felt daring, like that time she’d fallen in love with her biology teacher or looked differently at her camp instructor in high school. Authority figures did something to her brain, and Harry was no different.

But of course there was a lot at stake and she would never actually approach the idea; it was a fantasy at most. And she thought… as long as she didn’t act on her brain’s poisoning, it would be fine.

“Y/N, did you hear me?”

“Oh,” she was snapped back to her current state following the short distraction, the butter knife in her hand now seeming more dangerous than when she’d held it seconds before. “Sorry, Harry, what was that?”

She swore she could see an amused smile tugging at his lips for a brief second. She’d always wondered what he thought of her.

“Are you free next Thursday? I have this meeting until late and I doubt I’ll be home for dinner—I was thinking you could maybe put Jamie to bed? You can stay the night if it’s too late to catch a train, or just take the other car?”

Y/N’s work day at the Styles’ house ended at five pm most days in time for Harry to get home, but she did adore Jamie, so staying longer wasn’t remotely an issue.

“That’s okay, I can just stay the night like I did last time, if that’s alright?”

Harry had insisted when she’d begun working for him that she have a room in the house where she could take naps to rest or stay the night all together when it got too tiring to catch the train home, and the notion of it had pulled at her heartstrings. He was very considerate and that was rare in bosses.

Harry shook his head, waving her off with ease, “course it’s okay.”

“Great. I should get home, I have an important test coming up tomorrow. Am I good to go?”

He glanced at the clock, noticing how late it had gotten (he’d offered to cook dinner and Y/N had never been one to reject hot men’s company) and cursed quietly to himself. “I’ll drive you.”

“Oh no Harry, really, it’s okay!”

“It’s almost eight and I feel uneasy whenever I send you away in the dark. Sides, I’m sure Jamie will love a late road trip to your flat,” he reassured with a smile, standing up as if to restrict her getting a choice and starting to load the plates into the dish washer. “Grab your coat and I’ll wait by the door. I’ll get Jamie.”

Y/N did love the way he asserted his wishes to her, kind but dominant in his decisions. He didn’t let her deter him and she, for one, didn’t mind it at all.

“Okay, thank you.”

“No problem, love.”

—

“Can I please just get one scoop? Please?”

“I’m sorry, buddy, we just don’t have any ice cream! I would let you have it if we did, but we don’t. Is there any other snack you’re interested in?”

Jamie was being fussy today and Y/N couldn’t figure out why. He’d been happy when she’d picked him up from school, raving on about his art teacher’s praise on a drawing he’d done with the widest grin resting lazily on his small lips. It had been at around three that he’d started whining at her, not wanting to eat even though he’d requested the grilled cheese and flicking through about twenty channels until he’d finally settled on not watching anything at all. Y/N had figured he was tired, but he didn’t want to sleep either, so she was left thoroughly baffled trying to find ways to tame his mood.

But he wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop whining and crying, wouldn’t stop flailing his tiny arms and legs, wouldn’t stop pouting at her. Jamie had the best behaviour Y/N had ever seen on a boy, really, so this behavior worried her. “I just want ice cream!”

“Jamie, we don’t have any ice cream. How about I get you ice cream tomorrow, hm? And today we’ll have something else? Come on, remember how we learned about compromise?”

Y/N was trying, pulling Jamie into her lap to comfort him even though he didn’t care for any of it. His face was red and angry and nothing she said registered in his brain. He cried into her shoulder instead, gripping at her sides in terror. “You’re being mean to me.”

“Hey, that’s not very nice, I’m trying to help you bud.”

“Please, I just want ice cream.”

It was kind of cute how even in his state of devastation, he still managed to be polite to her.

“And I hear you, Jamie, but we don’t have any right now. Will you settle for Oreos? Or chocolate?”

He merely shook his head.

Y/N breathed a grateful sigh when she heard the front door being unlocked, still bouncing Jamie up and down in her lap in hopes that he’d settle down just a bit. She was sure Harry’d heard the crying from the front door because his steps were fast and his expression of concern clear.

“What’s wrong, bub?”

Jamie reacted with a devastating whine, calling for his dad and reaching his arms out begging to be carried. Harry shot Y/N a look of mixed confusion and apology, leveling the boy out from inside of her lap. He mouthed the question she knew he’d been thinking and felt bad when all she could offer in return was a shrug because she knew it wasn’t the ice cream anymore

Harry sung in whispers into his ear in the hopes of calming him, bouncing him around on the spot. He pressed kisses to his forehead, drawing circles on his back. It worked better than when Y/N had done it, Jamie’s sobs having soothed into few hiccups and sniffles.

Y/N couldn’t help but admire how naturally skilled Harry was at being a father. She knew a little bit of the history— his fiancée at the time leaving him for another man months after having given birth to Jamie and having to raise him by himself. He was a busy man and Y/N could often tell that he felt bad about being unable to do things like pick up his son from preschool or spend all day playing in the den, but he was still a better father than hers had ever been. He was a great father.

Not long after his crying had died down, Jamie fell asleep in Harry’s arms. Y/N finally breathed a sigh, relieved to catch a break. She loved taking care of Jamie, but jesus had today been hard. Harry carried him up to his bedroom, careful as to not bother him and advised Y/N to wait for him to come back.

Whilst Harry was putting Jamie to bed, she decided to clean up a bit. She went through the array of toys Jamie had taken out and discarded after a short minute of playing with them, and placed them back in the drawers. A smile tugged at her lips when she saw the dino plush toy she’d gifted him when she’d first started working for this family months ago— he still played with it all of the time. In fact, Harry had once sent her a photo of it sitting next to him in the car when they’d gone on vacation in the summer. She recalled tearing up because of it.

“Hi, sorry for taking so long.”

She swore she almost jumped in reaction to his thick voice, gripping the plush tightly against her chest in shock. Harry allowed himself a chuckle, raising his arms just enough to surrender. “Sorry, should’ve knocked.”

Y/N’s only response was a forced chuckle. It still felt weird to be in a room with him by herself, without the presence of a cute five year old to tend to. It was moments like these she felt guilty about fancying him. Most of the time Harry was merely a ghost around the house and whenever he settled back in, she would leave. She rarely ever had time to utter more than a quick ‘see you tomorrow’ and rush off home. It wasn’t like he was there, so her thoughts about him didn’t seem too off putting— now, with the company of awkward silence engulfing them, she couldn’t help but feel disgusted by herself.

“Think he’s getting sick,” he then added.

“Probably,” she agreed. “I don’t think I’ve seen him like that before so it was just a bit worrisome.”

“Yeah, he only really gets like that when he’s sick, so I think it’s safe to say… you’re alright, though?”

“I’m fine, just a bit worried, as I said.”

He smiled like he found that amusing, “he’ll be okay. Are you hungry? I was going to make pasta for dinner.”

“Oh, are you sure?”

Last time she’d had dinner here, Jamie had sat next to her. It hadn’t been just her and him.

“Yeah. Why don’t you put the dino down and we’ll go make it together?”

In an instant, her cheeks heated up. She hadn’t even noticed she was still clutching to it for support and figured he must’ve thought she looked so stupid welcoming the comfort of a plush toy. Another awkward chuckle escaped her as she threw it gently into its container, bucking down to lock it away as well as her memory of these last two minutes, hopefully.

Harry was a good cook, but that wasn’t really surprising at all— in fact, she couldn’t imagine there were many things he wouldn’t excel at. Y/N, on the other hand, she was terrible. She’d burned so many things in her apartments kitchen that she couldn’t keep count even if she tried. So naturally, he took the lead in every task she did, from cutting onions to seasoning the salmon.

“Wait, no, y’can’t— here,” she couldn’t help but giggle as he took the knife from her hands, cutting into the flesh himself. He huffed, but she knew it was teasing. “You’ve gotta learn how to cook.”

“I know how to cook basic things, just not some five star gourmet meal. I think you’d be surprised what I can do with some seasoning, eggs and tomatoes.”

“I have no choice but to take your word for it, do I?”

“Guess not. Can I do something else? I feel so useless.”

He clicked his tongue, not even sparing a glance her way. “Go sit on the counter and look pretty.”

And at first, Y/N didn’t know how to respond to that. Did she just… literally sit on the counter? Probably not. It was… a joke, right? How did he expect she would react to such a bizarre request? For a second the guilt she’d been feeling about potentially being unprofessional subsided in a flush.

Then he finally let his eyes settle on her and she just about fainted at what he had to say, “what? Do you need help getting up?”

She was 99% sure at this point that he just got off on pestering her, what with the dino, and now this? Prior to these last two weeks he’d never even spoken more than five words to her, and now he was inviting her to dinner. He probably found the confusion written all over her face amusing.

She could probably indulge a little then, right?

“Yeah, I do.”

He didn’t just laugh, though, like she’d expected him to— no, he ran his hands under hot water, wiped his hands on his (very) expensive trousers and walked toward her. He motioned to the counter as if asking her to get closer and—

“Wait, no, I can do it.”

He immediately stepped back, hands dropping from her waist and smirk molding his mouth.

“You can now?”

“Yes.”

He held eye contact for a few more beats before moving away with a solid nod.

What the fuck was that?

Y/N had expected him to dismiss her, uttering something along the lines of ‘I was only joking’, but that? Never would she have thought that that would be the response.

It was funny, too, because he never could’ve carried her up without at least a bit of struggle. She knew what he was used to— thin women, supermodels even, and she was neither.

So despite the confusion, she got up on the counter like he’d asked. On her own.

And when he’d started asking her about normal things like family and uni, Y/N slowly eased out of her awkward stance. She told him about her mother, her brother, and left her deceased father out of it. He smiled, nodding along to her words whenever the situation allowed it and kept his eye on the food.

A blink was all it took for him to announce dinner and the two of them sat at the table together, peacefully quiet.

It was around six thirty when the patter of tiny feet sounded through the house, from the stairs to the kitchen. Both of the adults waited patiently, eyebrows raised in surprise that the little gremlin had decided to wake up after only having slept for two hours.

“Daddy?”

Y/N almost melted at his sweet, buttery voice.

Harry hummed, “is that you, bub?”

He finally poked his head into the room, carrying a plush toy in one hand and rubbing his sleepy eyes with the other. He studied the room before settling his green irises (clone of his dad’s) on Y/N.

“Y/N, you’re still here.”

She smiled, a pity smile, and answered in a sweet tone, “I am, bud. Is that okay?”

He merely nodded, stalking closer. Harry pulled him up into his lap, kissing his forehead before letting him rest against his front.

“I wanted to apologize for being mean before.”

Her stomach did another flip.

Was this a dream, or did a five year old just apologize to her on his own incentive? She swore these Styles boys surprised her every day!

Her eyes flickered to Harry and she watched as a proud smile stretched his mouth. He met her gaze, the grin undeniably wide, and shrugged as if to say didn’t tell him to.

“That’s okay, Jamie, I understand you were frustrated. Are you feeling better?”

He nodded again, although it was weak and subtle, “my throats itchy.”

Harry’s smile faded with his confession and he pressed the back of his palm to his son’s forehead, “why’d you get out of bed, then, silly? You need to rest if you’re sick.”

“Missed you, daddy.”

She could see that same guilt she’d seen so many times before manipulate Harry’s features again, and her heart broke a little bit for him. She couldn’t keep track of the amount of times she’d wanted to just break and say you’re a wonderful father to him, but stopped herself in fear of overstepping.

Knowing he wasn’t going to say anything soon enough, too lost in his own thoughts, she went on for him. “Tomorrow is Saturday, Jamie, how about you go rest so you can have a full day with your dad tomorrow? S’not nice spending weekends sick in bed, as you know.”

In a manner that was so much more than cute, Jamie’s fingers trapped his chin to appear deep in thought, and then he nodded. “That makes sense.”

Y/N almost laughed, “doesn’t it?”

“Will you be here too, Y/N?”

Jamie knew very well that Y/N wasn’t here on Saturdays, so she guessed he was only implying that she should be. An invitation of sorts.

But she really couldn’t handle being around Harry on the weekends as well as on weekdays, so she shook her head gently, “no, but I’ll be back on Monday, is that okay with you?”

To show his dismay, he jutted his lip out in a pout. “Can’t you come over for lunch?”

Harry nudged him, “Jamie, remember how we talked about what Y/N does when she isn’t here with us?”

“School. But there’s no school on Saturdays!”

“She does school, you’re right. When you get older, there’s so much you have to do for school that it never stops, not even on weekends. And you know what else she does? She meets up with friends, she plays tennis, she goes shopping for groceries. There’s tons she has to do besides spend time with us, yeah?” He never met her gaze as he spoke to Jamie, and it was better that way— he’d probably have caught her loved up eyes if he dared to do it. He remember details about her she didn’t recall telling him about. As if it hadn’t been enough, he added onto it, “plus, I reckon she’d appreciate a break from us, huh? We’re definitely not the only boys in her life, so we should share once in a while. No matter how much we like having her around.”

It was almost magical, the connection Harry and Jamie shared with each other. Nevermind what he’d said to make Jamie understand (she definitely hadn’t missed that last sentence— or the idea of ‘other boys’ altogether), it just made her happy to listen to them converse. It was healthy, a bit serious when need be but mostly light and protective. He did everything in his power to preserve Jamie’s innocence, especially about his upbringing and the whole mother issue.

After a long train of thought, Jamie slowly nodded his small head, “okay. Fine. But I get you Monday! No other boys Monday through Friday.”

Y/N couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from her mouth, incessant and silly. “Okay, Jamie, I promise I won’t let other boys come between us Monday through Friday, okay? Is that good for you?”

“Me and daddy, though. He’s the only other boy allowed.”

She giggled again, avoiding Harry’s gaze but nodding nonetheless, “sure. Daddy too.”

She felt Harry shift out of her periphery.

“Okay,” he finally settled, outstretching his arm across the table, “pinky promise?”

She did the same, but just before Jamie had a chance to interlink his much smaller finger with hers, she pulled back. “If I pinky promise you on this, will you pinky promise me that you’ll finally go rest?”

He hummed in agreement.

She welcomed the promise, letting her finger link with Jamie’s for a few seconds until he felt ready to let go.

“Now go lay down. I’ll see you Monday, okay?”

“Kay. Can I have a hug?”

“Of course,” she cooed at him, arms already outstretched the moment he’d climbed down from Harry’s lap. Jamie gave the best hugs, so she figured Harry would as well. She’d never gotten to test that theory, though. “Okay, good night.”

“Night.”

Jamie took slow steps (he was much like his father that way, taking his time in everything he did) and slowly disappeared into the main room, eventually stalking up the stairs as both Y/N and Harry listened for it.

“Thank you,” Harry then broke the silence. Her eyes flickered toward him, eyebrows drawing together in confusion, but a nervous smile playing on her mouth. “You’re so good with him.”

“It’s my job to be good to him.”

“It’s your job to take care of him, but you’re not… you’re doing much more than just be nice to him and I appreciate that. So thank you.”

“He’s a great kid, so… not a very difficult thing to do.”

The air had somehow become thick and unwavering, unspoken words wafting between their bodies across the table and back. Harry looked like he wanted to say more but his jaw stayed shut in place and she certainly wasn’t going to pester him about it. It was already difficult to keep in mind that despite the lighthearted dinner, he was still her employer, and that the boundaries they had been practicing since the beginning of her time here were slowly being blurred and tested.

So it didn‘t really matter what she felt whenever he spoke to her, she had to preserve herself and her position here.

She feigned a glance at the clock to justify looking away and sat up in her chair, “I should go home.”

His nod was curt, “okay. I’ll get the keys.”

“No, don’t worry, I have to stop by somewhere else before. I’ll manage.”

It was a lie, of course it was.

“Fine.”

As Y/N made her way back outside, she regretted declining his offer and the farther she walked away from the house, the more she thought about the things they could’ve talked about had she let him grab his keys and escort her home. If he would walk her to the door like last time, without Jamie in the car of course, and bid her a proper goodbye. How maybe, if they’d inched close enough, they would share a moment of hesitation before kissing. Her imagination ran wild with it and she knew that it wouldn’t really happen, but the chances would’ve been greater had she just been bad.

Shit.

—

Y/N was crying.

She was bursting into tears outside of a bar looking like a pathetic, lost idiot— and it just wouldn‘t stop. She couldn’t recall anymore what exactly she‘d expected before going into the date she‘d spontaneously agreed to as a result of her mother‘s pleas, but it certainly hadn‘t been such an embarrassing let down. Her shoulders slumped as she thought back on her date‘s words: I don’t see this going anywhere, but you’re a really nice girl. Friends?

And why was she crying? She was crying because she knew what he’d really meant was: you’re not my type at all, and this was a waste of my time. How did she know? The way he’d looked at her, with a sparkle of disgust in his eyes, the tone he’d used; pitiful and mean. How he’d looked at other, skinny girls while Y/N had been planted directly in front of him and lastly, how he’d left before the date had even ended.

Y/N hadn’t left the bar as soon as he had, no, she’d stayed until now; closing time. She’d drunk herself to exhaustion, pulling shot after shot and even worrying the barista who went to her psych class at uni. Before she’d known it, the clock had struck three am and four hours had passed since what’s-his-face had left her to rot in there.

She had no idea what to do, she could barely even form a thought. It didn’t matter that she’d been rejected— this wasn’t about that, it was about something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Since the beginning of time relationships had been sparse and dreadful, so another notch on her belt couldn’t have mattered so much as to bring her to a multitude of tears, but she did feel unlovable and undesirable in the way she had throughout all of her life. People had told her things would get better if she waited it out, but they’d lied. Guys were still assholes.

There was really only one person she felt like contacting, and that was Harry. He’d been on her mind all weekend. She’d been wondering if she ever crossed his mind, if for a sliver of a second he allowed himself to think about her in the way she thought about him, and felt a disgustingly sour taste in her mouth when she realized the answer had to have been no.

But Y/N was drunk, and people did stupid things when they were drunk— so without much afterthought, she used the remainder of her battery on dialing his number. He answered after the first ring and her mind wandered to question the plausibility of him being awake at this hour.

“Y/N?”

She was struck watching the road in front of her, unable to answer. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.

What had she done?

“Y/N, is everything okay?” another wave of tears overwhelmed her senses and as a result, she sobbed right into the speaker, and heard shuffling on the other side. “Sweetheart, where are you? What’s happened?”

“This guy— he just— he was so mean and he left me here—“

“Where? Where are you? Who left you?”

“The viper.”

“Y/N, that place closed twenty minutes ago. Are you inside?”

“No, she… she said I need to get out, so I did, but I didn’t know where to go cause m’drunk, and I…” there was a pause in which she realized how stupid he must’ve thought she was, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, listen to me. Please stay there, don’t move, and send me your location. I’m coming to get you.”

She had no fight left in her, so she nodded to herself. Harry didn’t see, obviously, but he hung up with the hope that she’d understood him clearly.

When he arrived not fifteen minutes later, he put his car in park and hopped out to find Y/N sat on the floor, a lazy smile pulling at her lips when she laid eyes on him.

“Harry, hi! I was just thinking about you!”

He said nothing, a tick in his jaw as he helped her up on her feet, grounding her stature. She nuzzled her head into his shoulder and he kept a steady beat to bring her to warmth as quickly as possible. Y/N got the idea, aimlessly buckling up and failing miserably until he offered assistance.

“Thank you,” she murmured to him, though he refused to give a verbal response. He merely nodded, jaw still locked in place before he closed the door. Y/N watched as he walked over to the other side and opened the door.

He drove in silence and Y/N tried to be okay with that. She stared ahead, mind still gloomy, with her lips jutted out in a pout. The silent treatment made her feel like a scolded child, like Harry was her angry father who refused to speak to her because she’d come home past her bedtime. She looked over to scan over his features, make sure the crease between his forehead had subsided at least a little, but it hadn’t.

After the longest minute of her life, she finally asked, quietly, “are you mad at me?”

And when he didn’t say anything, her heart dropped.

“Oh,” she whispered.

Y/N didn’t dare to say anything for the rest of the ride. When they got back, Y/N opened her own door and hopped out, refusing to wait for Harry to help. He sighed, she could hear, but she just slowly trailed after him.

“Up on the counter,” he grumbled, grabbing a glass of water to help sober up. She took it from his hand.

“Harry, I’m sor—“

“Drink the water.”

She almost flinched at his angry tone.

Y/N was halfway done with the glass when he scoffed, unable to bite his tongue any longer, “I’m angry because you were irresponsible. First you go on a date with some dickhead—“ she opened her mouth to protest, but failed to when he put up a finger to halt her, “then you get yourself drunk and sit outside of the bar alone in a stingy area. Something could’ve happened to you, then what?”

All Y/N could say was, “it didn’t,” and it was the weakest argument she could’ve thought of.

“It very well could’ve and you’d have your stupidity to thank for it.”

Her heart banged again. She didn’t like getting reprimanded by Harry, nearly at the end of her rope anyway. She‘d never seen this side of him before, stern and miserly. Clearly Y/N had only really seen one version of him and had gotten lost in the illusion of it all.

In a last attempt to make him understand, vulnerable and naked, she let herself sniffle, “I don’t think anyone is ever going to love me.”

She‘d expected it to pull at her heartstrings more than it ended up doing— ironically enough, she felt fine confessing to him. Maybe it was the fact that she‘d bottled it up for so long that it was nice to finally admit to it, to allow somebody else to step into her shoes. Of course, every confession came with a tinge of embarrassment (it wouldn’t be a confession otherwise), but this one was still manageable. And yeah, maybe it was the alcohol coursing through her system, but who cared?

“What?”

“No one loves me. I’ve never… guys have never liked me enough to want to brag about it, or keep me around for longer than a month, and… and I do get it, cause I come with a shit ton of baggage, but it just… it takes a lot to be motivated about things that way. I’m twenty three and I’ve barely experienced what it means to love someone and actually have them love you back.”

The display of vulnerability floated heavily through the air.

He was silent for a second. He did that sometimes, she noticed, especially when he was processing things.

Once he did open his mouth, though, he knew exactly what to say, “you can’t let some immature boys get to you like this, you hear me? Tell me one good asset the guy you went on a date with had.”

Y/N shook her head, not because she couldn‘t have if she‘d thought about it hard enough but because she had no energy to continue this conversation any longer. He wouldn’t get it

“See? No guy is worth crying over, especially not on some dirty pavement outside of a bar.”

He truly did have a point there, she supposed.

But it wasn’t just about that, so she told him exactly that— well, at least tried to, “it’s more than… I don’t… I don’t feel good enough.”

“You’re being a bit silly, sweetheart.” She registered how sweet he’d gotten again, finger brushing against her knee and features softening just enough to convince her of safety. He probably felt bad for her. “You’re plenty good enough.”

“Y’don’t get it,” she murmured, “you don’t understand what it feels like to get rejected solely because of your looks.” Y/N had always felt slightly weird talking about her appearance with people who weren’t her closest friends, and even then she felt judgment coming from them. Each time they asked if she would come clubbing with them to score boys, she was never able to honestly express that she‘d never wanted to go because it was always her who was left riding home in an uber alone. And it wasn’t like she felt ugly— in fact, there were instances she felt so confident nobody could’ve told her anything, but then there were those few others… and her whole system came down crashing.

“What do you mean?”

He couldn’t be so daft, could he?

“You’re— you just don’t fucking get it, okay? It’s… whatever, I don’t care.”

That took some courage too, courage she only registered after having uttered the words, but she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t mutter the words this guy didn’t fancy me because I’m fat, because she still had more class than that— even drunk. Ever the childish, pouty person she was, she had more shame than that.

She buried her face in her hands, breathing out, “I’m sorry. Sorry, that was rude of me.”

“It’s fine,” he placed a warm hand on her thigh, thumb stroking soothingly. With a sympathetic look in his eye (confusion too, she guessed), he tried to pacify her concerns, “you need sleep, everything will be better when you wake up.”

He was probably right about that.

“Okay.”

As he escorted her up the stairs, she couldn’t help but let her eyes trail over his features, watching as they hardened and softened based on the turmoil occurring inside of his mind. She wanted to reach in there and grab onto clues, grasp an understanding of the workings of him, but he made that nearly impossible. She would look away if he caught her eye, cheeks heating up every time she was captured by his darkened green irises.

He opened the door, allowing her to take the first step. She didn’t really need the help, but she couldn’t complain when his hand posed on the small of her back so he could maneuver her onto the sheets.

“Do you want a change of clothes, Y/N?”

“Um, if you have something?”

She doubted there was anything in his huge closet that would fit her in the way she preferred, but the idea of spending the night in jeans was just as dreadful, so she took the chance and nodded.

He came back later with a stack of clothes perched on his left hand, the other holding another glass of water. “Anything else?”

Y/N paused for a moment to think and shook her head, “no. But just—“ she swallowed around the lump in her throat, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

She couldn’t believe the words she spoke next, no thought invested into them: “will you come into bed with me?”

Time refused to pass, the ball was in his court.

When he gave a subtle nod, it was like god and the universe were sending good karma her way. Her compensation for the night. “Just until you fall asleep.”

Y/N scooted to the other edge of the bed, reaching down under the blanket to rid herself of her jeans and pull on those grey sweatpants. Surprisingly enough, they fit extremely well. Harry laid down over the blanket (to prevent getting too comfortable, probably) and perched himself onto his forearm.

Another bold wave met with Y/N’s courage as she reached out her hand to trail over his chest. Harry swallowed thickly.

“You’re really nice t’me.”

“You deserve to be treated well.” The snort that left her was completely involuntary, but it still made Harry frown. “You do.”

“Everyone does,” she later mumbled in agreement. He seemed to dislike the way she’d surrendered, though, because he did that thing with his jaw whenever he was ticked off.

What he didn’t like was the implication behind her tone that she only deserved respect because everyone did, regardless of her own character. She was disregarding her beauty and her kindness, her character, and reducing it to a commodity when it wasn’t.

He’d always had difficulty expressing his feelings, though, so he stuck with silence. Stone cold silence.

It pertained for five more minutes until he watched as sleep slowly overtook her figure, peaceful breaths cascading from her mouth. She looked so pretty asleep; relaxed, void of concerns and the crinkle in her forehead from tonight’s events dissipating into its initial form.

He wondered if she’d ever given him other implications of being an insecure girl— if she had, he’d caught none of them. He never would’ve thought somebody so effortlessly beautiful and kind as her could think to deserve less on such extreme levels. It made him wonder if anyone had ever treated her as she deserved; he noticed once that whenever she spoke about her family, she failed to mention her father. It seemed men had disappointed her in more ways than one.

There was inner turmoil bothering him. He didn’t know what he was feeling for his child’s nanny, but there was surely no other woman he felt as eager to take care of— picking her up, driving her home, clearing a room for her.

It was terrifying to allow himself these few minutes of observing her because he feared the impure thoughts which would cross his mind. Not perverse, but intimate. She deserved more than him, he was sure of it.

He left the room after another five minutes, trying to be as subtle as possible as he walked to the door. It was later than four am, so he stopped by his son’s room to check on him. When he saw nothing out of the ordinary, he finally carried himself to his own bedroom.

He would lie awake until sunrise.

—

Y/N had never woken up so panicked before, chest heaving and mind elsewhere entirely. Her head was pounding and her heart rate palpable, she was sweating all over and she could only recall last night in small, blurry tidbits.

God, and she had to face Harry. On a Monday morning.

After maybe ten minutes of lying around and procrastinating, she finally moved herself out of bed. She pulled on her clothes from last night, drank the water that was situated on her nightstand and tidied up in the bathroom before going to search for him. She looked upstairs— no trace of him, so she cascaded down the stairs and made her way to the kitchen. On the way there, his office caught her eye. The door was cracked opened and at a closer peek, she saw him sitting at the desk with his hand buried in his hair, mumbling something. She knocked, he flinched.

“God, Y/N, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” she gave a sheepish smile, “are you busy?”

“I—“ he sighed, shaking his head. It was when he spoke into the phone lying on his desk that she realized he’d been one a phone call. Before she could backtrack, he’d muttered an ‘I’ll call you later, Stace’ to them and hung up for her. She stood there, fingers interlaced in front of her body and balancing on the balls of her feet in intimidation.

He didn’t look happy either, and that was probably because ‘Stace’ was Jamie’s mother. She would call every few months, he’d told her, and cause some sort of havoc— from wanting to talk to Jamie on the phone to wanting to see him in person. When asked why he didn’t like letting her see Jamie, he’d given Y/N a very vague answer; wouldn’t do any good. She’d settled with that back then, having sensed the energy shifting.

Y/N felt bad for him now, the stress assuming control of his features almost overwhelming to look at.

He was already glancing up at her expectantly, but the words disappeared from her brain and all she wanted to do, really, was comfort him.

“I— are you okay?”

It was a visceral reaction he had to those few little words, the furrow in his eyebrow deepening, “yes, why?”

“Because… well because you were talking to Stacie on the phone—“

His scoff interrupted her pity stutter, “so you’re listening in on my conversations now?”

Oh, she was no longer sorry; she was scared. “No! No, I’m not, I swear! I was walking past looking for you and I heard you mumble something, I don’t— I would never…” and he must’ve known that. He must’ve known that she would never, ever listen in on his conversations, nor try to overstep the line by doing that (obviously she’d fucked up last night, but aside from that). He knew her, he’d trusted her for long enough for her to know that he knew that, so his accusation ticked her off.

But he looked terrifying right now; eyes dark, eyebrows furrowed, closed off stance, and nothing like the Harry she’d gotten to know well. And she had no idea if it had been last night or this that had finally pushed him over the edge.

“So why bring it up?”

“Because you— because you’ve talked about it before and I was just— I wanted to check on you!” She was stuttering like an idiot, she was aware, but with her comfort bubble gone, her speech wasn’t a reliable asset anymore. She’d always been terrible at communication and even worse at confrontation. And he must’ve known that because he was using it to his advantage— and that was mean, because he knew she would never. He knew. Didn’t he?

“It’s not professional, Y/N, but I’m sure you know that. I’m sure you know that last night wasn’t either, but you keep fucking pushing me.”

And that… well, was partly right.

“I know last night wasn’t…” she shook her head, “it wasn’t professional, I know that. I don’t know why I called you, I don’t get it either, it just happened, really, and I wanted to apologize. I understand if you—“ she peered down toward her hands, swallowing the lump in her throat, “if you don’t feel comfortable with me being here anymore. With your son, I mean, I’d totally understand.”

Y/N thought that was quite sensible of her. Of course, if she could get a chance to have a repeat of last night, she would take it in a heartbeat— but she couldn’t, so this was all she could do. She loved working here, giving it up would hurt, but she understood if that was what needed to be done.

“You just… you can’t fucking call me at three am in the morning drunk off of your arse—“

“I know that—“

“Clearly you don’t!” And she detested how his voice raised. “And clearly you don’t get that there are things you just can’t talk about; like Stacie, or your own relationships, or whatever the fuck else you’ve brought up to me.” If she felt like a scolded child yesterday, then she’d had no idea how bad it could get. “I’m your— I’m your employer, not your fucking therapist. I’m not here to clean up your fuck-ups, pat you on the head and tell you it’s alright.”

Her eyebrows furrowed because she knew that too, and she found it borderline preposterous that he would imply she didn’t.

There was a 180 here, and she was becoming less and less understanding.

“I told you I don’t know why I called you, Harry, I don’t know! What am I supposed to say? I was terrified and sad and don’t ask me why, but you’re the only person who actually gets what I’m talking about half of the time, so it just happened!”

“You act like I’m somehow responsible for you.”

Her frown deepened; she hated the notion that he had to take care of her in some way, as if she was incapable of it on her own account. “On what basis? I think you might be pressuring yourself into that, Harry, because it’s fucking ridiculous. I never made you do anything.”

He released a frustrated breath, “you have to stop worming your way into our lives— you’re our nanny, that’s it. You don’t ask me about my personal life, you don’t call me in the middle of the night to make me worry and you don’t ask me to get into bed with you.”

“You act like I don’t know that!”

“Evidently you don’t.”

“Yes I d—“

“Just—just stop. Stop talking.”

It shut her up. It did not only that, the increase of his volume had made her flinch on the spot. She wasn’t a fan of confrontation, as mentioned before, but what she despised even more was yelling. She couldn’t stand yelling, fighting, accusations being thrown in the air with no regard to anyone’s feelings. It was an extremely sensitive thing for her and she definitely hadn’t expected to experience it with him today.

Y/N saw him a little differently in this light. The sternness with which he delivered those words, strict and mean, reminded her of her childhood. He saw her weakness, saw the stress she was under, and did nothing to relieve the situation. Instead he’d yelled at her.

Her hand was shaking a little and tears were forming in her eyes. She couldn’t let him see it, though, the weakness. She couldn’t allow him to see that a simple instruction had made her want to cry.

“I can’t deal with you today, Y/N, so please just… just go.”

She left without another word— straight up turned around and closed the door behind her with shaky hands. She couldn’t stand him right now, but even more she couldn’t stand herself.

She’d fucked up so badly.

And maybe… maybe she needed to quit.

part two!

And there we have it! don’t hate me for that ending it was necessary!

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