#vs when i talk aloud and have to rush through my thoughts so i can at least get a word in

[daisydogboy]

i fucking hate how i have to learn to talk with people the fucking "proper" way but nobody bothers learning how to talk with me. i always have to put the effort in and get fucking nothing in return.

#bears babble #rant #ok to rb #this is mostly like in person #when im like speaking aloud #its so fucking lonely #i put in all the fucking work to try and talk 'right' and the second i mess it up i dont get any slack #im putting so much work in for what?? a glace in my direction when i say something with no response? #im upset and angry #idk typing is harder for me to do but at least i can think out my sentences #vs when i talk aloud and have to rush through my thoughts so i can at least get a word in #is this because im autistic ? probably!!! #i feel like im the only one who fucking remembers that i am

[goosewhisker]

russetfur vs. the entirety of skyclan || ch. 1

read this on ao3 || read this on fanfiction.net

summary:  After enduring months of Turtlekit and Kitekit's abuse, Rootkit finally snaps and accidentally awakens his powers. This has the unfortunate side effect of reviving the ghost of an angry Shadowclan warrior who: 1) is personally offended by Skyclan's existence, and 2) has magnanimously taken it upon herself to relieve the world of that burden. Or something.

so this is an au that @xbloodywhalex and i came up with, its finally being written (sort of). i have a few more chapters ready which will go up eventually so keep an eye out for those

There's a grave in the camp.

Well - it's not really a grave per se, that's just what everyone calls it.

It's a little hidden and out-of-the-way, tucked between the elders' den and the nursery - a perfectly round patch of dirt where the grass doesn't grow. If you press your nose to the ground and sniff, it smells like sweat and anger and blood, no matter how often it rains. Hawkwing said once that when Tree first joined Skyclan, he'd taken one look at the circle and declared it haunted, and everyone else had steered clear of it since.

Rootkit's a little skeptical. Sure, there's something weird about the grave, but haunted? Honestly. If there was a ghost in the Skyclan camp, it would've shown up by now, and even his dad has to admit he's never seen anything. He's only sensed it, whatever that's supposed to mean. It's not like you can smell a ghost.

Anyway, no one knows how old it is or if someone died there or even who it might've been; the grownups say it was there before Skyclan arrived in the forest, which was so long ago that even his dad was hardly born yet. Rootkit can't imagine it.

Even though he doesn't think it's haunted, he still ends up back there a lot. Most other cats are wary of the grave and won't go near, which means Rootkit can hide there anytime he wants without being bothered. Usually, he's hiding from Kitekit and Turtlekit, but sometimes it's the unfriendly looks the older cats give him that send him creeping behind the nursery. They look at him weird because of his dad, he knows. Sometimes, all he wants to do is sink into the ground and never talk to anyone again.

Needlekit pretends not to care, but he caught her crying on top of the grave one time, so he knows it bothers her too.

Rootkit's thought about trying to talk to her, once or twice, but she's trying so hard to act strong and he can't ruin that for her. And his mom will just lick his ears and tell him they really don't think he's weird, dear, and he'll see the lie in her eyes. And as for his dad - he can't talk to his dad. So he talks to the grave instead.

"Kitekit pushed me down, today," he'll say, or "Turtlekit put ants in Needlekit's nest and blamed it on me, and Reedclaw believed her." Once, he tried to explain why his dad aggravates him so much, but halfway through he choked on frustrated tears and gave up. Maybe next time.

The point is that he talks to it, a lot, and sometimes he says things that maybe he shouldn't have.

So when Kitekit overhears him talking about how his dad was trying to teach him to think like a bush (and as if that isn't the stupidest thing he's ever heard, seriously), and calls Turtlekit over to for let's-all-make-fun-of-Rootkit-time, it's really just what he deserves. After all, he's the weird son of the one cat who talks to ghosts and had to have an entirely new role invented for him; if Rootkit's talking to piles of dirt now, he's just carrying on the family tradition of being an absolute loon. According to Kitekit and Turtlekit, anyway.

"-I'm just saying, if you want it to talk back, maybe you're just not going at it the right way," Turtlekit suggests, a sneer curling her lip.

"Yeah," Kitekit chimes in. "Maybe you should try thinking like a bush. Just like your dad, right?"

Rootkit glares at his paws, watching them shake with barely repressed fury. "Can't you leave me alone? I don't care what my stupid dad does!"

His tormentors laugh. They both sound identical, vapid and inane and carelessly, needlessly cruel. He hates them, Rootkit realizes, and something inside him wavers on the verge of a breaking point.

"You might not," Kitepaw says. "But everyone else does. Leafstar does. She's just letting you guys stay here 'cause of your mom. Do you really think she'll let a weirdo like you be a warrior?"

Rootkit's head snaps up against his will. He knows better than to give them a reaction like that, but this is his dream; he wants to be a warrior so badly it hurts. Leafstar wouldn't actually keep him from being a warrior, would she?

Turtlekit snickers. "Maybe, when you finish your apprenticeship, she'll just kick you out. After all, there's no way you'll be a decent warrior, and we don't need another useless cat dragging the clan down." Another cat like your father goes unsaid, but the implication makes Rootkit dig his claws into the ground.

"And your worthless sister, too," Kitepaw adds, and within Rootkit something snaps.

"That's enough," Rootkit snarls. Kitekit jerks back in surprise, but Rootkit doesn't care. The hatred welling up in his throat burns like something physical; if he were any angrier, he'd spit acid. "I've had enough of you people! Every single day, every single day you treat me like garbage, when I've done nothing to you! I hate you!"

Kitekit's eyes go wide as he backs away. Turtlekit mouths a word, but Rootkit can't hear it over the blood singing in his ears. The heat rushing through every nerve in his body is making him giddy; he feels high on power, watching his enemies cower before him.

"You think you can say whatever you want to me," Rootkit hisses. "You think you can say whatever you want about my family! Guess what - starting now, if you ever mention my mom or my dad or my sister again - I'll kill you!"

The last words seem to echo with a throaty reverb through the air. All of Kitekit's fur is standing on end. Turtlekit is cringing to the ground, ears flattened back so far that they've disappeared into her skull. Rootkit grins, and it's more a baring of teeth than a smile.

"Now go," he breathes. Kitekit and Turtlekit stumble over each other in their haste to flee, for once uncoordinated and clumsy as they'd always accused Rootkit of being.

Rootkit sits back on his heels to watch them run. He'll probably get yelled at later, but finally letting loose had felt good. "That was fun," he says aloud, and almost jumps out of his skin when someone laughs coldly behind him.

Rootkit screams. He'd like to say he didn't, really, he would, but the noise he makes is too high pitched and panicky to be called anything but a scream. A particularly shrill squeak, maybe.

The strange she-cat looming over him looks like she'd probably agree. She's tall and russet and bone-thin, with a narrow face torn by battle scars. Her scent is cold and musty and reminds Rootkit of the time he'd stashed a mouse and forgotten about it, only to find it again weeks later after it had rotted.

Rootkit swallows and finds his throat has gone dry. "W-who are you? And how'd you get into the camp?"

The she-cat eyes him disdainfully. Rootkit shrinks back, regretting his question immediately. Kitekit and Turtlekit's scorn had infuriated him to no end; this cat's gaze makes him want to crawl under a rock somewhere and die.

After a moment, the she-cat speaks. "You smell like a rogue. What are you doing on Shadowclan territory?"

On what? "What?" Rootkit says dumbly.

The she-cat's lip curls back. She's starting to look considerably less amused and considerably more irritated. Rootkit shivers and longs for his mother.

"This clearing is Shadowclan's, brat," she snaps. "I'd have thought the scent marks would be enough to get the message across, but I'm not one to shy away from... more direct methods of communication." Her scent flares with something like bloodlust, and Rootkit abruptly gets the feeling that if those direct methods involve her claws, he's not about to stick around and find out.

"Mom!" Rootkit shrieks as loud as he can. The she-cat winces and he seizes that split second to sprint out from behind the nursery, still screaming. He gets halfway across the camp before slamming into absolutely the last person he wants to see.

"Woah, kid. Something wrong?" Tree's amber eyes blink down at him and for a moment Rootkit just wants to curl onto his dad's chest fur and cry.

Then he remembers his more urgent problem.

"Dad, I-" Rootkit pauses to glance around the camp. No one's quite looking at them, but he can tell they're all eavesdropping avidly. Rootkit's resolve hardens. "Dad. We've got a- a you problem."

Tree looks amused. "A me problem?"

"Yes!" Rootkit growls with frustration and throws himself against his dad's legs, pushing him towards the grave. "You know what I mean!"

That stupid amused look won't get off his face, but thankfully he doesn't say anything and lets himself be pushed. As they pick their way through the brambles behind the nursery, Rootkit breaks away and situates himself securely behind Tree's leg. If the she-cat wants him, she'll have to go through Tree, and Rootkit might have issues with him but he knows that his dad will kill to protect him.

As it turns out, he doesn't have to. The gravesite is empty.

Tree turns to Rootkit. "What am I supposed to be seeing, here?"

Rootkit gazes past him, aghast. "I don't understand!" He scrambles underneath his dad to pace around the little circle, looking for any evidence of the interloper. There's no trace of her but the musty smell of rot. "She was here earlier," Rootkit mutters, mostly to himself. "She smelled like something dead. I think she was... she was..."

"A ghost?" Tree asks. Horrified, Rootkit turns to him to dissuade this particular train of thought, but his dad is already nodding. "I've always wondered if you or Needlekit would inherit my abilities," he says. "It seems like you might have awakened your own. How'd it happen?"

Rootkit looks at the ground and thinks of his earlier outburst, of the heady rush of power that had surged beneath his skin. "No idea," he mumbles.

Tree seems to take him at his word. "That happens sometimes. This ghost, did she say anything?"

Rootkit thinks back to the encounter. "She said... something about Shadowclan. That I smell like a rogue. Not much else, she didn't even tell me her name."

"Huh." Tree looks contemplative. "Well, this was Shadowclan territory, once. She probably died a while ago, so it'll probably be hard to help her move on. Meanwhile, let's both keep an eye out, hmm?" He nudges Rootkit gently. When Rootkit doesn't meet his eyes, Tree sighs. "Well, let me know if you see her again, kiddo. I'm going to talk to your mother."

Rootkit watches his dad leave with some resentment. He's going to go straight to Violetshine, and tell her all about Rootkit's creepy new powers, and by sundown the whole camp will know and any chance Rootkit has of not being treated like a freak will be gone. Figures.

Rootkit slumps to the ground. All that, and his dad didn't even help with the ghost problem, 'cause the dumb lady took off before he even got there. What a waste of time.

At least he got to freak out Kitekit and Turtlekit. Rootkit snickers into the dirt, remembering the looks on their faces, and abruptly goes stiff with an eep as a freezing wind cuts through the fur on his shoulders. A cold chuckle echoes through the air, and right by his ear, the she-cat's voice whispers, "My name's Russetfur, brat."

Rootkit shudders.

He doesn't move until the she-cat's icy laughter has faded completely, and her dark presence has disappeared from the grave. Once he's sure she's absolutely, entirely gone, Rootkit clambers to his feet, eyes narrowed in determination.

He has work to do.

#warrior cats #warrior cats fanfiction #wc #warriors #rootspring #tree #russetfur #kitescratch #turtlecrawl #i think thats their names anyway #i like rootspring bc hes a little dumb and perpetually distressed and i can relate to that #@xbloodywhalex ITS HERE

[edgarbright]

As for love... (2 of 2)

[ IkeVamp Fanfic | Dazai x MC ]

A fix-it fic for the 12 Flavors of Love story event, Arthur vs Dazai Route

[ <--- Return to Part One ]

Content: Explicit, Arthur/MC break-up, Dazai/MC friends to lovers

Characters: MC (2nd person POV), Dazai, Arthur, Sebastian

Word count: 4.5k (part two), 7.6k (whole)

Summary: Dazai accidentally drinks a bottle of Blanc that is tainted with an aphrodisiac! After the events in the hallway, you find yourself alone with him in the library where you intend to help him with his pain. The ink on Dazai’s fingers have long-since dried, but perhaps it’s not the love potion telling him to write love across your skin. And before you make a bold decision of your own, perhaps it’s not the love potion calling you into his arms, either.

Notes: This is, first and foremost, a self-indulgent piece. As this is fic is adapted from an event route, an ample amount of quotes and lines are taken directly from the game and I do not claim credit for them. The title is from Osamu Dazai’s novel, The Setting Sun: “As for love . . . no, having once written that word I can write nothing more.”

“Good bye, Arthur.”

Arthur shouts your name as you turn to run. Sebastian’s voice joins the fray of yells and pounding footsteps muffled on the hallway carpet. Dazai, tethered with a hand in yours, follows in your steps. Once you round a corner, you find no one else is following you.

“Where do we go now?” you ask is dismay, still rushing forward.

Dazai sounds speechless. “Was that what you wanted to happen?”

“It needed to happen.” You squeeze the half-full bottle of Blanc in your hand. Forcing a smile, you look up at Dazai, who moves with long strides at your side. His kimono parts at his knees with each step, giving you a glimpse of his bare legs beneath. “You said if I chose you, I wouldn’t regret it. So what happens now?”

With lust curdling in his belly, you expect him to push you against the wall to continue where you started. Or to lead you to his room.

(The rush of the moment has gotten to you, you think, for wanting one of these to happen. Your heartbeat hammers from the sprint and a wave of realization trying to knock you over beneath a rising tide: you broke up with Arthur.)

You aren’t quite paying attention until you arrive at your destination. Dazai has brought you to the library.

Checking no one else is there, you lock the door behind you, and you feel a little safer for it. “What are we doing here?” you ask as he wanders away from you.

“It was the only place I could think of that we could be alone, and that I could control myself. Reading relaxes me.”

And yet he looks anything but relaxed right now. After the run his kimono is looser than ever, wholly open at his chest, and his forehead is noticeably damp in the well-lit space. He turns to the shelves. You watch from the door as he makes his selection, acting like all is well.

“From what you said in the hallway, I thought the love potion was affecting you more strongly. You’re acting normal enough as it is.”

"Normal enough, hm?” Dazai says on a light note. He takes a seat at the table with a book in hand. “If that's what I look like to you...” His smile is tense. “Then you need to be more careful. Men are wolves, my dear.”

“I know.” A dry laugh escapes you. “I know best of all.” Without fear, you walk over and sit across from him at the table. “I’ve been with Arthur all this time, haven’t I? But… Now I’m not.”

You sit in silence, you sit in peace, your thoughts steadily coming back together after they had fallen apart. There are books lining the walls and piles on the desk. You make no attempt to pick one up, choosing to watch Dazai read instead. Studying the shuddering rise and fall of his chest, he still doesn’t look relaxed with the love potion bleeding out of his every pour.

Is he reading the book or is he thinking of you?

You hold the Blanc on your lap in a tight grip just as earlier’s courage spurs you on to ask, “Were you telling the truth, about what you said before? That you’ve been… fond of me?” Embarrassment makes your words waiver.

The sound of his book closing echoes in the quiet library, making you start. You realize belatedly trying to talk to him isn’t doing him any favors.

“Arty just gets so serious when it comes to you. He’s shown us all a side of him we’ve never seen before, because of you.”

You stare at Dazai, more than a little stunned. “Really?”

You hadn’t thought the others had been paying much attention. Arthur had acted the same in front of everyone since the day you arrived in the mansion. Or so you thought. Arthur did show more control over himself in small ways just as he showed more possession over you. And yet he joined in with the other Great Men more readily when you were around. He wrote more often and perhaps he laughed more, too. He became more a part of the household rather than spending all his time lurking the streets of Paris while chasing another pretty skirt.

“And as I watched him change, I began thinking foolish thoughts.” Dazai let out a little sigh and looked down at the cover of his book. “I wondered,” he continued thoughtfully, his voice quiet and calm, “if perhaps I, too, would change if I met a woman like you.”

Dust glittered and swirled about in the thin slants of light that shone in through the window.

How are you supposed to respond to him? Does that mean he wants to change? How could you possibly change him? How could you change anyone?

It was hard enough trying to change yourself, to stand up for yourself.

“Do you really mean that, or is it the Blanc talking?” You let out a light laugh. “You’re a grown man, Dazai. Someone like me couldn’t possibly cha—”

With the scrape of wooden chair legs against the hardwood floor, Dazai leaps to his feet. He leans across the table towards you, his golden eyes glittering, and you sit there in surprise as he scoops up a handful of your hair. It pools in his palm. The strands catching the light of the window with the tilt of his wrist.

“We’re both grown-ups.” His face is so close to yours and you cannot look away. “But adults are wretched creatures.” He keeps his eyes on you, pining you to the spot with just his gaze, as he brings your hair up to his lips and kisses it.

“I— I…” And then you shake yourself. “Then you are no more wretched than I am, Dazai.” You believe in the kindness he has shown you. In the kindness he shows you now with heavy breaths and flushed skin.

“I want you so badly it's taking every ounce of self-control I have to distract myself with this book.” His words set your face ablaze – so he had been thinking of you! As he leans across the table, he still holds the book, holds it close to his chest like a barrier along with the table to hold him back from you. “Are you sure you made the right decision, coming with me?”

There is an unspoken guarantee in his voice that you are not used to: you can leave. Perhaps he doesn’t quite believe that you meant what you said by leaving Arthur. You can’t quite believe it either. But the fear of being alone with Arthur is gone. You’ll never have to be alone with him again—and Dazai will never know that the change you most wanted to inspire in Arthur was a change that would never happen. And thus you know your answer.

“Yes.” There is no hesitation. Arthur was right, after all. You can’t turn your back on someone who is in trouble. But you won’t say that aloud. You’re not here out of pity. “I didn't want to see you suffer because of me, Dazai. I—” like you— “care about you. Very much.” You take a deep breath and you look away, gathering your hair back from his hand and pulling all of it over one shoulder.

And your name leaves his lips. Your real name. And your heart leaps to attention just as your eyes do, as though the sound of it passing past his lips was all you ever wanted to hear.

“These feelings for you,” Dazai says slowly, carefully, just as had gently scooped up your hair, “they didn't begin when I drank the Blanc.”

You squeeze the Blanc held on your lap. “The why aren’t you acting on them now? I chose you.”

There is silence before he smiles, and there is sadness there, and tenderness. “I said you wouldn’t regret choosing me.”

His golden eyes are aflame with desire. The book, his call to reason, is held, forgotten, as he stares at you. He wants you.

And you want him. His kindness. His gentle touch. His love.

You rise from your seat. “I won’t regret choosing you under one condition.”

He stares at you with eyes wide. You have his undivided attention. “What is your condition?”

“We’ll be satisfying my desire. I’m to be the wolf.”

Who knows what he was expecting, but his answer is even and you realize he would have agreed to anything to have you. He looks at you in awe. He looks at you like you’ve hung the stars in the Heavens. “Of course.”

All you know of Blanc is that it comes from a crushed-up flower and it contains no actual blood. And yet somehow it still tastes like iron and smells as putrid as rot as you gulp it down, down to the last drop until the bottle is empty and you gasp for breath.

“No wonder we keep the Blanc in the cellar,” you grumble with a laugh, exhilarated by your boldness. “It’s awful at room temp… erature…”

Dazai has rounded the table, so distracted were you that you did not see him move, but the moment you drop the bottle away from your mouth and set it on the table, his hands are cradling your cheeks and he looks at you like he’s seeing you for the first time. His fingers comb through your hair in a long caress that goes down the back of your neck, and he gazes at you like you hold all the answers to his questions.

The effects of the tainted Blanc are rapid. It pools in your chest and fills you with warmth. Your thoughts dance just like dust moments in the late morning light. As you look into the golden flames sparking in Dazai’s eyes, heat pulses between your thighs with a desire to be filled.

The first kiss you share is not sweet. It is rich and full, his lips soft and plump. You push his coat off and hold his shoulders tight as he draws you against him, as your bodies meld together. There is no wall at your back this time and it’s only him you feel, hot and firm against you through your clothes.

You reach for the end of his obi and tug it loose on a long pull. He peppers your cheeks and nose and forehead with hungry kisses as he makes quick work of the laces of your dress.

“Have you forgotten who is the wolf already?” You’ve started to pant, hungry for air, hungry for him. Desperation is a dry kindle and his touch sets you ablaze.

“I’m not very good at running away, I admit,” he says on a breathy laugh that tickles your ear. Beneath his kimono, his collared shirt hangs off his shoulders and only the bottom two buttons hold him together, which you quickly pop loose. His shirt joins his coat and kimono on the floor.

His underwear is painfully old-fashioned. A plain white cloth. Something you’ve only seen in period movies and at festivals. Now the sight it makes you shiver with delight. The corded fabric leaves his thighs and buttocks bare, but it is the strength of his lust outlined against the thin cotton fabric that draws your attention.

Is it is the love potion’s doing, you tell yourself, as you stroke him through the cloth, as you imagine his cock inside you. The guttural moan which escapes him makes you ache with longing. He stands all but bare when he relieves you of your dress. You shimmy down your panties and stockings all at once—and with his fingers right beside yours, dipped into the thin silk fabric, sliding down your legs to your ankles with a tantalizing touch.

“I want you,” you tell him, as though he might forget. His hands stroke back up your side and take your white slip with it, pulling it up and over your head.

“Should I run now?” he asks, and he could be teasing but there is too much earnestness for that in his eyes, in the way he pulls your hips toward him and his arousal tells you just how much he wants you, too.

“I…” His hand takes your breast and the heat of his palm, the pinch of his fingers, steal a soft moan from you. Your hand covers his, covers your heart that’s racing. “I want you to lie down.”

He does as you tell him but he takes you down with him, pulling you onto his lap as he sits on the floor. His fingers rub between your legs and you sigh in satisfaction. You can’t help rocking into his hand.

But it’s not enough. “More.” You kiss him greedily and grab hold of the white cords over his hips. Pulling them or pushing them, they have no stretch and do not budge. “Dazai, why didn’t you take this off already?”

His fingers have already deserted you and you watch in fascination as he unravels himself. The cloth is much longer than you expected. You reach out to help, but not with the cloth. “Do rabbits usually take their coats off for a— Ah, mm—!”

On that same moan he speaks your name again and with golden eyes glowing. His cock stands tall and looks as pretty as the rest of him as it waits for you. You grip him, stroke him, watch his face flush. His hands grab your thighs and his fingers dimple your soft skin as he encourages your legs apart.

You guide him in and lower yourself on him. The love potion has stolen your reserves, numbs the sting of the initial push of his swollen head, and you cry out in delight as he slides in, as your muscles stretch to welcome him. He’s not as thick as you are used to but he’s longer, and he fills you perfectly to the brim.

“Da— Zai…” Trembling, overwhelmed by the sudden fulness, your hands stroke up and down his toned chest.

“Are you all right?” He’s panting freely and his muscles under your thighs twitch with longing to thrust. He kisses you fast once, twice.

“Yes—Ah, yes!” His hips jerk, his self-restraint hanging on by a string, and he’s stronger than he looks because your knees leave the ground that brief moment and you feel full of him again even though his cock remains buried deep inside.

You push his shoulders to the ground and take your pleasure by rising and lowering yourself, by watching the sparks dance in his eyes or perhaps they are in yours. You told him you wanted to be the wolf but he isn't behaving like a rabbit caught between your teeth. He matches you stroke for stroke and meets you halfway with the heft of his hips and the hold of his hands as he guides you back to him, as he angles himself to the spot that pushes you higher and higher towards bliss.

And as the pace meets a fever pitch, you drop your head and your hair curtains around your face, the strands dragging over his heaving chest. Breaths panting in unison, you stare into his half-lidded eyes and cry out his name when find what you were hunting for.

You don’t expect him to kiss you as he comes, but his tongue is deep in your mouth as you feel him pulsating. The scent of him is distinct and faint, the tinge of black tea and ink overpowered by the smell of sex and sweat and dusty books and ancient leather.

Dazai falls back onto the floor with a loud, contented sigh. You ease yourself off him and untangle yourself from his hands that seek to pull you to his chest. Your skin damp and unbearably hot, you lean against the chair and rest your arms and head onto the seat to catch your breath.

His presence and the thought of him overwhelms you. You need a moment, just a moment, to yourself.

But although you had just had him and you can’t help the broad smile hidden in your arms, his absence leaves an emptiness inside you. You clench your legs together to try to keep the urge at bay.

The love potion is not finished with you yet.

You try to be discreet but Dazai pushes himself to his elbows and watches you. He gazes at you like the wolf he’s pretending not to be.

“Dazai,” you plead with your hand between your legs, searching for relief. “I—”

“You still want me?” And you can’t tell if he’s teasing you or if he can’t believe it might be true.

You reach out for him and he comes to you on his knees. You throw your arms around his neck, reclaiming his kisses, reclaiming his love. His larger fingers continue the work you started, and you’re so wet for him you barely notice when he pushes a digit inside and lets it curl. A moan of relief escapes you, but as you stroke his cock, he’s not recovered yet to take you. It’s a few more moments that you don’t think you can bear without him.

A few more moments where you pulls you up onto trembling legs and captures you in his arms for a kiss that leaves you winded. Books clatter to the floor before he has you on your back atop the table, your legs spread around him and the vaulted ceiling towering above you, but it’s his face you gaze at as you lift your hips to meet him. The silky strands of his hair shadow his eyes.

“Deeper,” you moan, a happiness swelling in your chest when you come together again. “Don’t stop.”

And he doesn’t, not for long. Not when you’re on the floor again with him on top of you, or when you dance away from him in your nakedness, the library the golden palace belonging to the two of you and a bottle and a half of love potion, only for him to catch you again at the wall. You hold his face in your hands and kiss him over and over again as he holds you up and pushes you back into ecstasy.

You love the face he makes when he comes inside you. You love the way he says your name. The love potion won’t let him forget who he has in his arms. It is the love potion that makes your heart burst with affection and you don’t want it to stop. You know it will, but not yet, not when you are still feeling like this for him.

The two of you sit up on the floor with you back on his lap and your legs straddling him. His strong shoulder makes a fine pillow as you rest your head in the nook of his neck. Your body hums with pleasure and a dull ache caused by your greed for him. It is a small price to pay, and you would pay for it all over again.

Dazai plays with your hair, fingers combing through and gathering the locks together in a quiet moment where the clock ticking is the loudest sound in the room.

“That feels nice,” you murmur. Judging by the delicate pulls, he's braiding it for you, and you smile against his soft, warm skin. He hums in reply, a musical sound of contentment. You can hear a heartbeat where your ear rests against his shoulder, and it’s hard to say if it’s yours or his.

“I don't have anything to tie it with,” he says, showing you the end. You touch the top of your head. A French braid by the feel of it.

“That's OK,” you tell him, tightening your arm around his neck for a sweet kiss. Dazai returns it, slow and lingering. He drops your hair and his hands are a smooth caress down your back, along your hips, and it's a slow twist as he lowers you to the floor and you pull him down with you. 

He's inside you again before your shoulders touch the pile of clothes spread out like bedsheets. Like a slow dance, the two of you take it step by step for the first time, feeling each stroke fill you, stretch you, and ebb away like the tide, lasting days at a time while your fingers explore the dips and curve of his back that you hadn't noticed before. His kisses are languid and breathy, and you marvel at his deep sighs when he slides into you, and the way he kisses up your neck when you throw your head back in a burst of ecstasy, the way he kisses you with something akin to longing when you come back down to help him finish.

You hold him closer and squeeze your thighs around his hips when he starts to pull away before he’s done. 

“Stay,” you tell him, your skin warm like candlelight rather than a bursting flame.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Don’t go.”

He's come inside you so many times already. This time you want to feel it most of all, the moment you feel closer to him than ever. 

Your name is moaned across his tongue. You taste it on his lips and in the shudder that overtakes him: the love he has for you. Silken purple hair is plastered against his forehead and you sweep it away, cradle the side of his face as his hips still and your heartbeats find each other, calm and rhythmic. He lies beside you on the floor and you slide back into place against his shoulder, wrapped in his arms.

The clock chimes the time and you glance over at it. The hour is almost up—

You sit up with a jolt when you read the time.

Well over an hour has passed. No, over two. The effects of the love potion are already gone.

It’s been gone.

It’s just been you and Dazai, together, this whole time.

“You didn’t stop,” you realize as you pull your dress out from under you, using it cover your breast and hide your nakedness.

As if he hasn’t seen all of you and more already.

Dazai remains where he lies. He looks quite content, more than a little sleepy, and still quite exposed. “Stop?”

Words all but tumble out of your mouth. “When your love potion wore off. Yours would have worn off long before mine.”

He smiles. “The wolf was still on the hunt, so what was a rabbit to do but keep running?”

You flush and look away, scrambling for something else to say. “You didn’t bite me, either.” Wasn’t severe thirst what you were trying to prevent? You never even felt the graze of his teeth.

An hour, you can’t help thinking, a whole hour where it was just the two of you, together, like this, more than this—

The surprise is evident in his voice. “I didn’t think I needed to… Or was I that bad?” His laugh is whimsical and it cuts through the wave of panic that had been seizing you.

A whole hour without the love potion, and a whole hour where Dazai was still moaning out your name and kissing you like... like…

Like he loved you.

So he was telling the truth. It was never because of the love potion.

You can’t help laughing, too, turning back to look at him.

You want to be truthful with him. Whatever has started here, with him, you want it to be honest. “I liked it,” you urge yourself to confess, feeling flushed. “What happens to us now without the love potion?”

“Well, I can still do this.” Dazai sits up with an amused look and kisses your bare shoulder. With the burning desire gone from his eyes, you can tell there is something else lurking there, something soft yet darkly hidden, but you won’t press him about it now.

“I see. Is that all you can do without the love potion?” But you already know as you lean against him, feeling nervous and new all over again as he wraps his arm around your waist, holding you—

The doorknob rattles like a thunderstorm and you both jump.

“Why’s this door locked?”

You shrink back. “Leonardo…!” you whisper. The doorknob jiggles again. “He’s going to pick the lock!”

“Oh my, he’ll be in here in a moment. I’d rather he not see you like this. Best we get dressed.”

By the time you’re both on your feet, you have your work dress on and are fighting with the laces. So many laces!

Dazai pulls his shirt on without buttoning it and wraps his kimono over. The white cloth of his undergarment he tucks into his obi.

“I don’t mind a refreshing cool breeze,” he says when he catches you watching, and his smile is so telling it makes you blush.

With the jiggling of the lock counting down to the proclamation of Dazai and you that you are not ready to announce, you follow on Dazai’s heels as you tug on your shoes and he leads to you—

“We’re going out the window?!”

The window opens with a click and a frigid winter breeze rushes in. Soft, white snowflakes flutter after. It’s snowing at last—at the worst possible time! Dazai pays no notice of it as he throws a leg over the ledge, exposing a wide glimpse of his muscular bare white thigh, before pulling his other leg out to dangle. White snowflakes are already settling in his hair.

“Our exit, my dear,” he says with his hand held out toward you.

You take it by instinct, just as you’ve taken everything else he’s had to give the last two hours. “But we’re two stories up and it’s snowing outside!”

He smiles serenely, his eyes all but closed. “Wolves go where rabbits run, do they not?”

“That’s…” Dazai was no rabbit. You could feel the pressure of his fingertips all over your body, and you could still taste the hunger of his love.

His golden eyes gleam bright as you let him sweep you into one arm to hold. Your arms go around his neck and you fight back a yelp when you find yourself outside and your legs dangling over nothing. There might be snow but the ground below is a patch of dense, brown earth waiting for springtime to return.

It’s only when you feel the chill that you realize, that you whip your head back to look into the library and see the fabric abandoned on the floor “My stockings--!”

But the window falls close just as the library door flies open. The two of you drop beneath the ledge before Leonardo or Isaac can turn to look.

The scream of the drop catches in your throat before the exhilaration of the escape sets in. Dazai holds you close as he climbs down from the window and not once do you feel like he’s about to drop you.

“I’ve got you,” he says with a cheery laugh.

“I know.” You kiss a snowflake from his cheek and he presses his forehead to yours, nose to nose.

And later, after you've bathed and rested, after you wake beside him that evening, and the next week, and a year after that, you don't regret a thing.

#my ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp fanfic #ikevamp dazai #dazai x mc #my writing #as for love fic #word count: 4.5k #spicy ikevamp #12 flavors of love story event #ikevamp story event spoilers

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Voltron Rewritten Defender (1/8)

Also known as My Almost Raging Bitch List for this Goddamn Disastrous Disappointment of a Show

I binged all 8 seasons in under a week, so believe me when I say almost nothing was forgotten between seasons/episodes and I do tend to note that.

If it’s not obvious by the title, I’m planning an entire show AU. I am extremely open to people’s opinions on what I’m currently thinking and when I finally post this I’ll be open to criticism there too. If you would like to avoid seeing anything in regards to this feel free to blacklist #voltron_rewritten_defender because that’s what I’ll be using for this whole thing.

Enjoy, I guess.

Fair warning I am a multishipper, but for this show I leaned towards Klance, so if that bothers you that’s okay, I’m not going to be bashing any other ships (mainly just Dreamworks’ forced Allurance). If you think I missed something for any other ship lemme know! If you wanna have a ship discussion that’s cool too. The only other thing I can think of is that Allura’s attitude in S8 really stuck with me to the point that she bothered me throughout the entire rewatch (I was admittedly one of the people who thought she could be very Mary Sue ish when I first watched this) so that’ll show up now and again.

If you want to look at the Google Doc for the whole show, click the link, if not you can expand this post to see Season 1. I’ll be doing these in chunks, but as some of you know I do a FicRecList on one of my other accounts here @sorcerusdragonbionics​ so I’m gonna be alternating between that and these for the next couple days.

If you do the Google Route it’ll have you ask me for permission, this is normal and if you request it I’ll give you commenting abilities.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t30IRJonrBFh0qvs8recf3ayGoQ0rx02y0Tg1e4NTaI/edit?usp=sharing

Key

Things I kinda wanna bitch about

Things I did genuinely enjoy and like 

Rewatch Thoughts (basically what I remember from further forward and how I feel like it reflects back on earlier seasons)

Ship Talk (behold my multishipping insanity)

Things I think I’ll do in the Rewrite

Writing Notes (mainly for me or as explanation for what I’m planning)

VA and Closed Captioning Things

Other Fic Thoughts

This ended up being music commentary in S8

Season One

Problems with the Season overall:

To be honest if I hated this season I wouldn’t’ve kept watching because by the time I started S3 had just dropped

Episode 1

Here’s the deal, WHY ARE YOU SO LONG BUT SO EMPTY?!?

Yeah, nope, that’s mostly it

Fix the problem of telling instead of showing about the other Lions and remove Allura’s explanation of the Lions if possible (thank you Kross for explaining why it felt so empty- this vid is actually where I started getting the idea to actually go through with a full series AU)

DON'T RUSH THE LION INTROS

Also let the 5 introduce themselves to Allura and Coran

Also Character Drive to Complete Mission Should Be A Thing

Flesh out Paladin Personalities so that the Aris Arrival is End of Part One (making it closer to the length of E1)

Flesh out Lion intros so part 2+3 are more like full Eps without Sendak

Episode 2

75 degrees… that’s definitely in Fahrenheit, which why?

How does no one have a watch with a date on them?

“A man can be driven to do anything if a beautiful woman is just really really mean to him”

More inbetween scenes bc I can

I will accept the transformation sequence here, I’m just not going to write it

Episode 3

Please watch the use of Earth Time Slices please, because it’s confusing

I love the portrayal of PTSD in this show and I would die before I change it

Bye bye transformation sequence

Pidge’s talk with Shiro can please change

Episode 4

“I say Vol, you say Tron” will come up again if it kills me

Lance, how do you know what hotdog water and feet taste like?

I love how Coran is completely nonchalant about the fact that he’s drinking a hair tonic

Shiro, don’t bring down the mood

Goddammit Sendak, you could stay for this arc, but god I want you GONE!

Keith, having an emotion? Really?

The Pidge plot DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN LIKE THAT!

Fight me I will change it

Or minimally change the fact that their selfish motivations are revealed to BAD and should be changed

Oh yeah, let’s not give the ONE GUY with notable homesickness a character arc around that

That moment when you realize Allura is like ‘wtf is a peanut’

Allura, don’t push it, some people don’t want to talk about it

You will have something to talk about, BIOLOGY

Decryption happens here, and next attempt to find family occurs… when?

Poor Coran, if there is anyone who was more forgotten than Lance it was him

Keith isn’t wrong, but he also doesn’t know how to say it without getting mad, which mood

Just pointing out Lance is not only smart, but selfless, tell me how he’s not the main character

My inner Shance/Klance shipper is sobbing

“Bomb fuel” mentioned here, occurs… actually it’s ok

Timelines need to be a thing!

Can I make the fight scenes more intense? Yes, I write them for my YJ Scripts. Will I? Almost definitely.

Keith with that much fire your mask should be closed because smoke inhalation is bad

Can we explain Vrepit Sa before s6?

It feels like Coran forgets that 10k years have passed under an evil empire and part of me likes it, but it hurts me

Episode 5

The Katie flashback is hurts me

I want to add Gender Identity

Can we talk about how Shiro is a nickname for Takashi Shirogane?

That’s not how an EMP works

The Coran sitting on Hunk’s shoulders with a machine gun is everything

I know the back x-ray was a joke, but I still don’t like it

Rax is an idiot, just saying

Bonding Moment!!!

Episode 6

“Intergalactic time measuring competition.”

“We had a bonding moment!”

Where is Sendak’s arm?

Fight me, Pidge’s ‘gender speech’

It will be a gender speech if it kills me

Lance, why are you acting the way you are?

“I figured” and “We were supposed to think you were a boy” ARE NOT PROPER REACTIONS!

Rolo, sometimes I want to punch you in the teeth

Lance’s boner is going to get someone killed

Lance had 4sec of logic and then Nyma brings up Keith, which ofc does him in

Let’s expand on the Komar, yeah?

Quiznack means fuck and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

Keith’s ability to fly is impressive and it’s awesome

Friendly reminder that Lance acknowledged the bonding moment

Episode 7

I LOVE the laser gun sound effects!!!

I just realized that Allura has no clue what an Acronym is

We… literally just talked about this and YOU didn’t know that Shiro, I understand the point, but seriously?

LIONS are TELEPATHIC Shiro DID NOT need to say that aloud!

I do actually like the fact that Kieth gets excited before realizing what he did

FIRE and ICE PEOPLE come on! What the hell?! You barely had to try

“Yes sir?” Keith to Shiro, what?

I love them and their cute little arguments

Left vs Right, thank you Zamber

We be lovin’ Hunay bc it’s pure as hell

Thank you Shiro for validating Hunk’s concerns

You could check  a little faster, Allura

I LIVE for this scene

Was it actually Rolo?

Do they have teleporters?

Keith being weird is my favorite thing

I love good big bros who argue tradition to save their baby sis

Zarkon is a bit of a moron

THEIR LIVES ARE IN DANGER ALLURA!

They all came through different doors… how?

What if the answer was no?

I’m ok with Lance embarrassing himself when he’s cocky, some people seem to forget that

Bye transformation sequence, I explained you ONCE and that’s it

Prorock… why are you familiar?

Episode 8

I admittedly forgot that they didn’t know these things would be different

Flying fight scenes I can do, teleporting not so much

Poor Shiro he thought he had an idea and he was wrong

I love Coran’s reaction

Also NO SHIT Allura

UHHHH Pidge said that not and of the other three so how did He know?

Allura may piss me off, but I do love this speech

“Your Altean Energy”??? Coran, you’re an Altean, I’m confused.

The “Sacred Altean” thing I get, but you must be more specific cuz it makes Coran sound like he thinks he’s not a proper Altean.

Oof, angsty

Also, I  know we can’t kill Allura yet, but... 

I love that Hunk forgot they hadn’t formed Voltron

Bye bye transformation sequence

Ummm, they NEED to explain the Bayard Equip bc that’s… two very different things that occurred between Hunk and Keith’s Bayard Weapons

Why is this a scene? It’s not a dog. So, yeah, I’m with Keith here

Episode 9

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ALLURA!

I just realized that this doesn’t come back until S..7? 8? Whatever, WAY too long

I can’t unhear “Training Dick”

Did they have homework on Altea?

Be still my Punk shipper heart

WHY is he SO pretty?!

Y’know, the glowing red eye is usually a bad sign

I could SO mean and hurt Keith here

That moment when you’re like 90% sure Shiro heard that somewhere

Not what haunted means Coran, but accurate

Why could Lance see Alfor for a second?

I too would like the answer to “where was the Red Lion?”

PTSD IS AMAZINGLY WRITTEN!

It’s a shame this is NEVER treated properly again

Thank you for NOT making the swimming thing a thing

You didn’t need to TRY Voltron, what the hell?!

Here’s the deal,  Altea not being Obliterated-obliterated is actually a really interesting idea

Lance still wins, for the record

If she was infected in any way this wouldn’t drive me crazier than a bot on Halloween

But she’s not so this is BULL

Shallura confuses me SO much…

Ok, admittedly the scene with Allura and Alfor is beautifully heartbreaking

Episode 10

The fact that Zarkon was a close friend to Alfor should be addressed

Also Shiro calling himself “an inexperienced Pilot” hurts

Allura’s a MORON!

YES! MASSIVE ISSUE WITH YOU COMING

Nice puppetry Hunk

What happened to THIS Allura?! She’s reckless but not INSANE (or so boring I might cry)!

Is this the same Druid from Season 8? Pretty sure it’s 8… I forget which, but the one Keith fought

“Don’t walk through that door!” / Keith does/ “I think I told him” // “You are a paragon of leadership, Lance”

Hehheh I love Hunk teasing Lance about Allura

I do actually the fact that I can’t tell what size the purple container is until Keith grabs it

Heheh the Allura interacting with the Galra soldier

The computer sounds like Lance

Also Shiro had that “holy shit” moment

I HATE WRITING TELELPORTING FIGHTS

I’m 99% sure that the ONLY reason I didn’t fall into the Galra Keith rabbit hole was the fact that I binge watched

This scene confuses me… so much now that I know Shallura was apparently never going to be a thing

So confused

Episode 11

That hair flip though...

Coran, I get it, but calm down

Okay, but Keith has a point. Seriously, he’s not wrong. 

For the record, Haggar scares me

So much makes so much more sense now that we know Zarkon is the Original Black Paladin

That… makes no sense… “enough essence to open a wormhole”

Why are you transforming? More pieces to shoot at is usually a smart idea…

Hey hey, THACE!

Why can’t you have two active at once? I’m honestly serious.

I mean too OP, got it, but you can maneuver around that for temporary stuff

Shiro, use your words, yeah?

“Thinking” uh huh you mean “telepathy” right?

I genuinely forgot that Shiro got booted from Black

Damn! Yes Shiro! Kick some ass!

Ok, here’s the deal, Keith’s not listening to Coran, but he doesn’t have all the info (LIKE THE FUCKING BAYARD), Zarkon’s the OG Paladin, and he’s in distress

I HATE TELEPORTERS!

“Could have been” … uh Kuron exists ?? 

Also, Shiro with yellow eyes is fucking terrifying

We ain’t ficking stupid VLD

Zarkon’s a fucking idiot

Written properly his power-hungry attitude works even with him destroying his own ship

But it wasn’t so it’s null

You aren’t even subtle about Galra Keith

How can Allura see through Illusions?

Nobody knows!

Shiro, you have no jetpack, how are you so fast?

“Who cares, wormhole!” mood

I… uh… I want to do SO many things with this idea

Preferably not what they actually do...

#voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary disappointment #voltron legendary disgrace #voltron legendary disaster #voltron #voltron rewritten defender #voltron season 1 #ship thoughts #multishipper #episode thoughts #season thoughts #shiro #lance #keith #voltron allura #pidge #hunk #coran

[illumynare]

Red vs Blue Fic: Gift of the Magi (10/12)

Summary: Wash has already gone through too much, been broken too often. So when they get captured by Hargrove together, Tucker figures he has one job: until the cavalry shows up, keep Wash alive and (relatively) sane. No matter the cost.

Unfortunately, Wash is just as determined to protect him.

Parings: None. Warnings: Rated M. Canon-typical language, aftermath of canonical character death, psychological torture, hallucinations, hallucinated child harm, mentions of torture and suicide, fake-out character death.

Notes: Also available on AO3!

GUESS WHO'S BACK, BITCHES.

I am so so so sorry it took me this long to update. 2018 was........a difficult year for me, creatively. But I am writing again and determined to finish this story. Huge thanks to @a-taller-tale​ for being a sweetheart beta, @saltsanford for screaming supportively, and everyone who let kudos/comments during the interim.

###

It’s day twenty-three of the worst camping trip ever, and Tucker has had it up to here with Agent Washington and his paranoid hard-on for drills. 

(Not to mention his obsession with how they should all stay in their armor 24/7. So what if Tucker needs fresh air to sleep? Wash wouldn’t have to see him naked if he didn’t come storming into his room at the ass-crack of dawn to haul him out of bed.)

“This is bullshit,” Tucker grumbles, dropping into another squat.

“Keep counting,” Wash drones.

“Twenty—urgghh—three.” Tucker hauls himself back to his feet, glaring at Wash. “I can’t feel my toes anymore.”

“Come on, private. Freelancer’s rejects could do better than this.”

“No, duh. They were rejected super-soldiers. We were Freelancer’s target practice!”

“Huh,” Wash says dryly. “Well, that’s an idea.” He unholsters his rifle. 

Tucker rolls his eyes. “Ooh, scary.” 

The next moment he jumps as a bullet hits the dirt next to his foot. “What the fuck, man? Didn’t you give us a lecture about gun safety last night?”

“Rule two.” Wash’s voice is ice cold now, his rifle leveled at Tucker’s face. “Never point a firearm at anything you aren’t willing to destroy.”

His armor is gray again. How the hell didn’t Tucker notice before? And despite the bright sunlight there’s snow falling all around them in dizzying swirls, just like on Sidewinder.

Oh shit. Tucker can’t move.

“Time to run, private,” Wash says, but Tucker can’t move. “Three. Two. One—”

His voice suddenly cuts off with a loud record-scratch, at the same moment the snowflakes freeze in the air.

Yep, it’s me. Church flickers into existence, glowing blue and tiny, floating just a couple feet in front of Tucker’s face. I bet you’re wondering how we got here.

Tucker stares at him. “. . . the fuck?”

You’re dreaming, dumbass. Lucky for you, I can actually control your dreams when it’s your subconscious running them and not that fucking machine.

The only word in that speech that makes sense is machine, and even that Tucker’s not sure about. “But Freckles isn’t here yet,” he says.

Oh yeah, also? WAKE UP.

—and Tucker comes awake, thrashing and fighting the restraints for the second it takes his brain to boot up, for him to remember what’s happening and where he is.

It’s night. The room is empty, and dark except for the faint glow of the healing units over his and Wash’s beds. 

“Church?” he says aloud.

This better work, Sheila, Church calls, and then appears beside Tucker’s head. In the darkness, he glows like a nightlight. “Okay, Tucker. Do you trust me?”

“The fuck?” Tucker says again, echoing his dream, because Church never says shit like this.

“Yeah, bad question. Actually, there is no question. Do what I say if you want to live.”

“I’m chained to a fucking hospital bed, I’m not doing anything!”

“I know. Just—STAY on the bed.”

Tucker rolls his eyes, automatically tugging at the restraints. “Wow, kinky. Do you want me to call you ‘daddy’ too?”

Before Church can reply, the door slides open. The lights come on, blinding bright, and Tucker has to blink for a few seconds before he can see that it’s the lemon-faced scientist who kept putting him in the machine, three Charon soldiers behind her.

“Come with me,” she says, and Tucker’s brain hysterically finishes, if you want to live. 

Which is technically true; he’s pretty sure that the scientist wants him alive for testing purposes, and he’s positive that she’ll kill him if he doesn’t obey. But going with her means being put into that machine means getting killed by Wash again, and Tucker would have every reason to refuse her command even if Church hadn’t told him to stay put.

Not that he’s gonna get a choice. As Tucker thinks this, two of the soldiers step forward and start undoing the restraints, one working at his ankles and the other at his wrists.

The moment that the last strap unlatches, Church yells, “Now, FILSS!”

The doors slam shut.

It takes Tucker a moment to realize that something strange is happening. Automatic doors close all the time. But then Sheila says aloud, “Deploying defensive measures,” and there’s a hiss as a pale cloud billows in through the air ducts.

“Uh, sir?” says one of the soldiers, but the scientist is already at the door, fumbling at the keypad. When it doesn’t respond, she starts pounding against the door. “Open, damn you!” she yells, then staggers. And falls to the ground, as the rest of the soldiers do.

Tucker’s gasping for breath, a weird cocktail of terror and triumph pounding through his veins. He nearly jumps out of the hospital bed, because fuck yeah, they’re down for the count, and he doesn’t even care how it could have happened.

But Church is hovering in front of him, waving glowing arms. “Wait. WAIT.”

At the same time, Tucker hears the tinny, nearly-subsonic hum from overhead, notices the bright green glow, and suddenly it all comes together. Sheila piped in some kind of knockout gas, and the only reason Tucker’s still conscious is that the alien healing unit is scrubbing the stuff from his bloodstream as fast as he can inhale it.

That’s why Church told him to stay on the bed. Except Church is just a hallucination, so he couldn’t have possibly known because Tucker, didn’t know—unless—

“Church?” Tucker says, and he hates how his voice has gone small and wavering, but crazy as it is, he can’t help suddenly, desperately hoping that he isn’t alone, that—

“Okay, atmosphere back to normal, you can get off the bed,” says Church, as if he hadn’t heard him.

Tucker doesn’t move. He’s dizzy and numb and reeling with the sudden thought of maybe maybe maybe, and also at this point he’s so used to everything being a killer hallucination that it’s hard to care about what he actually does.

“Seriously, Tucker, get the fuck off that bed and unstrap Wash, we don’t have all day.”

It isn’t Church that gets Tucker moving, it’s the memory of the Freelancer video footage he watched, where Wash was strapped down to a bed and screaming. He slides off his bed and staggers over to Wash's bed. There’s still a weird, numb tingling in his fingers, and he fumbles with the straps for several minutes before he manages to get them undone.

In all the weird, fucked-up simulations that Tucker has experienced, Wash was never like this: still and unconscious and silent, limp as Tucker hauls him up into the rescue carry that once upon a time Wash made Tucker and Caboose practice back in the canyon.

In all the simulations, Tucker had never been able to help Wash.

“What now?” Tucker asks Church, because why not trust the hallucination? (Why not believe that Church is really still alive somehow?)

“Go out into the hallway,” says Church. “There’s a storage closet five hundred feet to your left.”

Tucker does. He finds the door, and it swings open at a touch—Sheila? Church? A fucking miracle? He doesn’t care, just pulls it shut behind him and eases Wash to the ground.

He hears the lock snick shut behind him. “Now what?” he asks.

Church doesn’t appear again. But he whispers into Tucker’s mind, Now we just gotta have faith.

#

Faith is fucking boring.

That’s Tucker’s conclusion, twenty minutes or maybe fifty hours into waiting, he has no way to keep track and he really doesn’t care. However long it’s been, it sucks to sit here in the dark, waiting for rescue because a hallucination told him to.

Wash woke up once. He snorted, and clawed at Tucker’s face a little. When Tucker shook him and said, The others are coming to get us, he launched into a series of weird, slurred apologies before he passed out again.

Which left Tucker alone.

And bored.

Church isn’t talking to him anymore. Tucker’s tried talking to him, again and again, but he never responds. 

Of course he doesn’t, because Church doesn’t really exist. Except how did Tucker’s hallucination know what Sheila was planning to do? How did he know where Tucker and Wash could hide? What the fuck is going on?

Sirens go off, muffled through the door. Then they stop. Tucker hears a clatter of footsteps and gunfire, and then that stops.

Then the door slams open.

It takes a moment for Tucker’s eyes to adjust to the sudden rush of light. A moment before he sees who wrenched the door open.

It’s Carolina. She stands over him with a plasma rifle in each hand, an AI glowing over each shoulder. As much as Tucker's tried to avoid knowing anything about Church's fragments, he recognizes these two: the green one is Delta, Caboose's special buddy, and the red-gold one is Sigma, who Wash and Carolina thought might go crazy and evil for some reason.

Apparently Carolina isn't worried about that anymore.

“Can you walk?” she asks.

Tucker finds his voice, scrambling to his feet. “Duh,” he says. “How do you think we got here?”

He reaches for Wash at the same time Carolina does. Neither of them draws back, and for a moment he wonders wildly if they’re going to get into a tug-of-war.

Then Delta says, “I calculate an increased 57.8% chance of success if we allow Tucker to carry Agent Washington.”

Sigma flares brighter. “Agent Carolina, you excel at maneuvers that require maneuverability and speed.”

Carolina hesitates another second, but then she draws back, nodding in agreement.

“Don’t fall behind,” she tells Tucker, and turns away.

“That’s what she said!” Tucker says automatically, hauling Wash up into the rescue carry again. He staggers back out into the hallway after her, and then he doesn’t really have time to think of anything except how heavy Wash is, and how terrifying Carolina is. 

He’d known that she’d had two AI fragments back in Project Freelancer, but he hadn’t realized what a difference it made—not until now, when she charges a squad of Charon soldiers, grabs one by the leg, and swings him so precisely that the soldier's shots at her take out all his teammates instead, what the fuck.

It’s honestly really hot.

Then they run into Red Team plus a bunch of New Republic soldiers; Tucker has never been so happy to see Simmons or Palomo in his life. Apparently there’s a larger operation against Hargrove going on, now that Sheila has told them where his ship is hiding, but this team is tasked with just getting him and Wash back to safety. They immediately hustle them into a Pelican, and it’s great, Tucker is so relieved—

Except once he’s strapped in and the acceleration has slammed him into his seat, the memories are suddenly back with a vengeance. It’s too much like the time they were rescued and Wash killed him, the time that Tucker absolutely deserved to be killed because he had—he had—

“Where’s Junior?” Tucker blurts out, before he can get even more afraid.

"Junior? " Grif says blankly. Tucker's heart stops.

It's not real, he tells himself, but his brain is working too well and his memories are too whole for him to believe this is a simulation now. And Church is silent in his skull. Whatever Grif says next, Tucker will have to live with, and if—if—

"Isn't he still at that dumb prep school you won't shut up about?" Grif says.

And shit, Tucker thinks he might be crying, but it doesn't matter. Junior's okay. His kid is okay.

He doesn’t even mind the silence where Church once was. Tucker can stand anything, as long as Junior’s okay.

#agent washington #lavernius tucker #rvb #rvb fic #red vs blue #my fic #my fic: gift of the magi

[speeding-fox]

Shianbon vs. Dark Tiirubon! (Part 2) (Pt. 2 of 2)

~~~~

(Part 1) (Part 2 (Pt. 1))

Some things to note:

"----" means the scene changes.

Due to hitting the text limit on the last post, this is being posted seperately.

Now let's conclude this story!

~~~~

"GRRRRAAAAH!!!" Dark Desire roared as she repeatedly punches a stone wall. "I was so CLOSE!" As she yelled "close," she punched the wall so hard it left an indentation in the stone. "If it were for those two brats, I would've taken them all out! Graah!"

One more punch into the wall, then she stopped and panted, and spoke low and darkly. "If those goons don't take care of those kids and their parents, then I will do something about it."

----

Tiiru's birthday bash had begun! Everyone there was having a blast, from the classic party games to arcade games like DDR (to which there was a small tournament held that ended with Shian coming out on top), and an extra large bouncy castle (Dot couldn't get in, but Shian decided to chill with her and talk so she wouldn't be alone), there was even a chocolate fountain, it was a fun time for all the kids, and the kids in grown-up bodies. By the time things settled down, it was time for cake.

Everyone gathered around as Aka brought out the cake, with Sora eyeing it intently as she set it infront of Tiiru. "Go on, Ti! Make a wish!" Sora urged, wanting to dig into the cake already. "Sora, don't rush them! It's their cake!" Scolded Tosukana, making Sora grumble afterward.

Tiiru put some thought into what they want to wish for, once done, they blow out the candles, but right after they blew them out- SPLAT! Their face got mashed into the cake. "Whoops!" Said Shian with fake sincerity, cue some stares, small gasps, snorts and stifled laughter, and face palms from Tosukana and Mizuiro.

They lift their head up from the cake, their face was completely covered with vanilla frosting, and the stifled laughter grew more prominent. They wiped the frosting away from their eyelids, then glared at their sister and spoke lowly, but with a hint of playfulness. "Shianboooon..." They scoop up some of the mashed in cake to return the favor, but she bolted before they could.

"Hey!" They shout as they took off after her and try throwing cake at her. "Get back here, Shianbon!" She laughed. "Make me, Frosting Face!"

Mizuiro sighed as he watched the two kids. "Oh those two..."

"Kids will be kids, Mizu." Midori tried to reassure.

Meanwhile, Sora was quietly crying waterfalls about the ruined cake. "That poor delicious cake..."

Aka walked up behind him and gave him some consoling pats on the back. "Don't worry, Sorabon, I made sure to make some extras." She reassured, as everyone turned to continue watching Tiiru trying to throw cake at Shian as they both laugh.

----

Later that evening, Tiiru found themselves on the balcony overlooking the sunset, their arms resting on the railing. They've decided to take a break from all the partying for a little bit of peace and quiet. "There you are, squirt." Said a voice, they didn't have to turn around to know who that was. They turn their head to glance to Shian. "Hey, sis."

"So this is where you've been." She ambled over to them. "I thought you said you needed to use the washroom."

"I did, but I needed a break as well from all the noise. Mind joining me?" They asked as they gestured next to them.

She shrugs. "I don't see why not." She steps over to the open spot next to her sibling.

They both gaze into the sunset, the silence started to get boring to Shian after a few seconds, Tiiru could see it in her face, so they thought some chit-chat wouldn't hurt. "Y'know, I didn't get the chance to say this due to the circumstances, but tanks for saving me earlier." She turns to them to wink, not catching their pun right away. "No sweat. It's what siblings do, right?" Beat. "Wait, did you just make a pun?"

Tiiru gives her a smirk "Maybe." Shian playfully slugs their arm. "You dork!"

Tiiru laughs. "That aside, I really do mean it, plus, your new tank is pretty cool."

Shian's eyes light up. "Isn't it?! I finally have my own mecha now! I can finally fight baddies alongside you and our friends! Ooooh, I can't until the next baddie shows up, we can fight them together!" She blabbered on and on, even punching the air everytime she mentioned fighting baddies until Tiiru shushes her.

"L-Let's not get ahead of yourself, Shianbon. That will happen when it happens." Their voice gets softer when they recalled what happened earlier that day. "I only hope those "baddies" won't be our friends and family..."

Tiiru bringing that up did make Shian quiet down. "Yeah, I'm with you on that..." Her voice perks up again and proclaims to them. "But if that does end up happening, I know we can bring them back if we work together, even if it won't be easy! It's happened before, hasn't it?" 

As gloomy as they felt, Tiiru couldn't help but smile a little at their sister's optimism, though the smile falters, then they look away shamefully. "But, what if next time...we can't bring them back..?" They mutter.

She rests a hand on their back. "I'm 100% sure we will find a way, that always happens with you guys whenever you're fighting the Neo Dork Trio."

True, the group does always find a way to victory, be it through strategy, or just being plain lucky, but after what went down with them being corrupted and all that, they still had their doubts. What if someone couldn't be saved from their corruption? They really hope it won't come to that point.

"Tiiru." Shian calling their name snapped them to attention. "Hmm?" She then asked firmly. "Do you know who it was that turned you dark? If we find them, and beat them, then nobody else can be turned evil!"

They shook their head. "Sorry, Shian. I never caught her name."

"Her?" She inquired. They nod. "All I got was that she's a lady, and she spoke to me through this broken purple heart thing before it turned me dark." "So that's how she corrupts people..." She mutters.

"Shian, can we discuss this later? I'm not in the mood to continue this." They told her firmly. Knowing they've been though a lot, she understood. "Fine, but keep this in mind: if you're having doubts, worry about them later, and enjoy the now."

Shian giving advice that isn't outrageous? That's something you don't hear everyday, but that is good advice, and it did help Tiiru. "You giving good advice? That's new." They teased.

Shian rolls her eyes. "Just take it or leave it, Ti."

Tiiru chuckles. "I'll take it and keep it in mind. Thanks, sis."

"You're welcome." She says proudly, then after quick pause, she went on to say. "By the way, that edgy look you had didn't look half bad."

Tiiru does a raspberry. "You mean that tacky look? As if! But I'll admit the amount of "edge" I had made Sukārettobon look more like a wannabe."

Shian busts out laughing from their jab at Scarlett. "Yeah, it totally did! Ha!"

After calming down from her little laughing fit and wiping away tears, Shian went on to say: "I think I'm gonna head back to the party and play another round of DDR, maybe you should come with. Everyone is probably thinking you got stuck in the bowl."

Tiiru does another raspberry, then a laugh. "I think I'll be fine here a little longer, thanks."

She turns to leave. "Alright, then I'll just tell Sorabon you said he could have the last of your cake." There was a beat, then Tiiru soon followed suite. "Okay I'm coming!"

Shian laughs, Tiiru really likes their matcha, so she'd knew that'd work. She wrapped her arm around them once they were next to her. "Happy Birthday, squirt!"

"Thank you, sis." For a second, Tiiru thought she was going to noogie them, guess she doesn't plan on- wait, was that a glint in her eyes just now? Oh no.

The next thing they knew, they were in a headlock, and wouldn't you know it, she's giving them noogies. "Birthday noogies!" She says aloud. They let out a little shout as they received the noogies. "Ah! Shianbon!" They then let out a laugh. "You should've saw that coming!" "Yeah, I really should've! Haha!"

#Two Parter #Part 2 of a two parter #Bomberman #Bakugaiden #BB-Daman Bakugaiden #Fox's Characters #I'm not writing down all their names. #Shianbon belongs to Groxy. a.k.a. karaoke-bomber #Rebloobs are better than likes.

[idolimagines]

My Boyfriend’s Brother (M)

PART 1 PART 2 

Genre: college au, romance

Length: 6.3K

Warning: Contains sexual scenes and violence in some chapters 

“You may have grown up together, but you’re nothing like your brother.”

“So if you look to your right, the administration building is just down that road.” The cheery tour guide announced. Opening your pamphlet, you look at the map and see what seems like an endless amount of stops left to view on campus.

“I see a cloud, do you think it’ll rain?” Sana pouts as she stares up at the sky. With a laugh you glance over at her. “It’s a sunny day, there’s no chance of rain.”

“A girl can dream, can’t she?” She sighs as you link your arms together. “There’s not that many stops left. Besides, it says from here we get to see our dorm building.”

With that Sana’s face lights up and the two of you continue to walk with the group of Freshman who seem to all be tired of walking endlessly around campus all morning.

“Here, up the hill we are reaching the university park. Students often play sports and have gatherings here as it’s right outside our dormitories.”

Your eyes grew wide, gazing around the park as you spotted a large group of guys playing soccer in the middle of the field. It seemed like they were playing a game of shirts vs. skins as they were evenly divided with five guys on each team.

“Suddenly I’m awake,” Sana chimes in with a devilish smirk as she and a few other girls in your group gawk at the men from afar. You gripped your attention away from the soccer guys and tried to pay attention to the tour guide – noting how he was explaining important information about the dorm you all would be staying in for your first year of college.

As the tour guide was speaking, his nose crinkled as he noticed the lack of attention he was getting and spoke up a little louder. “I’ll let you know now that this is a girls only dormitory – which means absolutely no boys allowed.” He announced in a stern tone, eyes darting from your group and then to the soccer boys nearby.

With that, he knew he had gotten some of the attention back as a slew of “Aw’s” came from the group, including Sana who stomped her foot in defiance.

You clutched her arm tight and smiled at her antics until you heard some shouting from the field. “I’m open! I’m open!” One of the guys yell as he comes from behind and retrieves the ball from a teammate. You watch as he swiftly kicks the ball and moves along the others, showing off by using a few fancy tricks just before kicking it into the goal.

As soon as it hit the net, he and his shirtless friends shouted and ran around the field as the shirts team had seemingly been defeated. “Minho! Minho! Minho!” You heard amongst the cheers as they squirted a few water bottles at him.

The man you assumed to be Minho smiled widely and shook his wet hair before running a hand through it and pushing the dark locks out of his face. His skin held a beautiful tan and his body was toned as the water dripped from his hair and down the expanse of his abs.

“Y/N,” Sana called out, suddenly grabbing your attention as you snapped your head around to your friend. She was a few feet away and waving at you to catch up with the group as they were headed to the next stop. Her shout had caught the guys attention, causing them to suddenly look over at you.

Including Minho.

With the sudden attention you felt the heat rush to your cheeks and snapped your head to turn back to your friend, intent on getting back to your group as you ran over.

“I thought I was supposed to be the distracted one,” she laughed while crossing her arms. “By the way, that guy is staring at you.” She added.

“What guy-” You huffed just before turning around one last time to the field.

And that’s when you saw Minho still looking at you. He held a small smile as he gazed your way, settled on you and interested in whatever you were doing as you and Sana began to walk away.

He was handsome – far too handsome and it almost hurt to look away as you left.

But at last you had lucked out, as towards the end of your orientation you had coincidently run into Minho in the parking lot.

“Hey!” He called out to you, spotting you nearby as you walked with Sana.

You and Sana were babbling on about the new furniture you were going to buy for the dorm until you heard the call once more. “Are they calling out to us?” She asked just as she halted mid-step.

“Who knows?” You concluded without looking as you proceeded to walk. “What theme color should we go for? I’m thinking mint or baby pink?”

Following your lead, Sana decided to keep walking as well. “Baby pink sounds nice,” she answered before you heard the call again.

“Hey! Girl in the red shirt!” He shouted more specifically before you heard a vehicle coming from behind.

“Oh, someone wants your attention.” You teased your friend before she laughed.

“Dummy, I’m wearing pink – it’s you he’s calling…” Sana corrected, and your smile quickly faded as you looked down only to remember that you were in fact wearing a red shirt.

Shit.

So having enough of this cat and mouse game, you finally turned around to see the culprit when the door-less jeep he was in just so happened to stop next to you and Sana.

And to your surprise, it was Minho.

He had changed from the last time you’d seen him on the field. Dressed in a simple green tank and cargo shorts. His dark hair fell lazily against his head and his eyes were covered with black shades as he eyed you.

Now finally having your attention, he suddenly became short for words, seeing your beauty up close was better than expected and he simply feigned a cheeky smile upon your presence.

“You watched our game earlier, right?” He asked.

A sweep of heat abruptly came across your cheeks as you felt embarrassed that he caught you. “…Yeah.”

Realizing this, Sana pursed her lips as her eyes went wide with delight. “I’m going to let you two talk.” She whispered to you with a sly wiggle of her brows before rushing for the car only a few feet away.

Minho chuckled as he watched her leave, merely leaving the two of you alone as he put his jeep in park and got off to see you.

You then looked up to him as his height towered over your own, suddenly becoming a bit anxious as he came closer.

“I wanted to talk to you afterwards, but you disappeared.” He mentioned, and you nodded your head, “Yeah, um my friend and I are actually here for orientation.” You stated.

“Freshman?” He blurted in surprise and you crinkled your brows.

“I’m guessing you’re a Junior?”

“Senior.” He corrected, and you let out a knowing ah in response.  

“Well nice meeting you-” you politely started before he said, “Minho.”

“Minho.” You repeated aloud, causing him to crack a wide smile at how sweet his name sounded coming from you.

“I guess It’d only be fair to tell you my name then,” you said, and he laughed.

“Please.” Minho teased. “It’d be a lot easier than calling you, “the girl in the red shirt.”  

“Is that how you call all the girls when you first talk to them? By their shirt colors?” You asked, and he nervously ran a hand through his hair. “Ah, no. Just the one I’m interested in now.” Minho answered, and you smiled.

“It’s Y/N.”

But just as you said it, a car from behind Minho’s jeep angrily honked at the two of you as the driver threw his hand out at Minho and said, “Move your damn car!”

Minho rolled his eyes as he looked back at the driver and put his hand up as if telling him to wait. “Sorry, what was it?” He asked casually.

“It’s Y/N,” you repeated, and he grinned.

“Well, Y/N. I hate to cut things short, but our friend over here can’t wait any longer.” He sarcastically commented, eliciting a giggle from you before he took out his phone. “Do you mind if I get your number?”

Within a few seconds, you typed your number in, saving your name as well before handing it back to him. “I’ll call you later,” he declared before rushing to his jeep.

“Later,” you hummed as you walked back to Sana.

~*~

It was the first day of class and you walked in with the biggest shit eating grin on your face - unable to control it even as you attempted to press your lips hard together to cover it up.

“Uh-oh” Sana gasped as she patted the seat next to her. “What happened?”

 “You’ll never believe it,” you cheekily grinned while setting your bag down beside you and plopping into the seat.

 Sana’s eyes grew wide in response. “Believe what? Tell me!”

 You looked at her, eager to reveal all.

 But just as you were about to open your mouth to spill the story, you couldn’t help but notice a familiar face enter the room after a few other students.

 Even wearing jeans and a simple tee, he stood out from the others – standing well above 6 feet and with a prominent athletic build that some could only dream of. His hair was a mix of dark brown and honey hues while his healthy tan skin seemingly glowed under the light.

 “Y/N,” Sana called before catching the sudden distressed look on your face. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, not because he was handsome but rather because of who he was, as he was in fact Lucas.

 Lucas gazed around the room, nonchalantly searching for an open seat as the large class was nearly full. It was Public Speaking, meaning that the class was a general education requirement and that meant anyone, and everyone had to take it at some point in their college career.

So you discreetly watched as the man searched before his dark eyes suddenly found their way to you.

 Upon first sight you noticed his pupils noticeably dilated as his eyes grew wide - showing as surprise to seeing you there.  It hadn’t been long since you last seen him, but it was strange that somehow you two had ended up attending the same International University.

 Breaking the sudden gaze, he then found interest in the seat next to yours as it just so happened to be the only one left in the class.

 Noticing this, he felt his body stiffen up as he then made his way up the stairs and headed your way - waving to a few people who called out his name upon recognition.

 You groaned inwardly, shook your head and moved a little closer to Sana on your right as he asked, “Is this seat taken?”

Without another word, Lucas sat down beside you and a sigh was heard as whoever happen to be sitting in the row behind him would no longer be able to see the board.

The man didn’t seem to mind though, given as he was probably used to being the tallest one in his classes.

You sat up a little straighter in your seat and tried to mentally calm your nerves down as he could probably feel the growing amount of uneasiness that was eliciting off you.

“Y/N!” Sana called once more and nudged you from the side. “Tell me what happened!”

With a shrug you turned to her while ignoring the man beside you and smiled. “…I have a date tomorrow night.”

 “HE ASKED YOU OUT?” Sana nearly screamed in delight and you feverishly nodded as she started muttering exclamations in Japanese out of excitement.

 “I can’t believe you’re going to go out with a senior.” She gushed. “And it’s only the first day of school.”

 Lucas raised a thick brow and couldn’t help but listen in to your conversation as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone.

“I can’t believe it either, I’m still going through different phases of shock.” You giggled.

 “Tell me you have something cute planned to wear,” Sana pleaded with a heavy sigh.

 You took a second to gasp in response, “Of course. Do you think I’d show up in sweats or something?”

Sana looked at you up and down, taking the time to prove her point as she signaled to the pants you were wearing. “With you - you never know,” she admitted and you laughed.

 “Where is he taking you?”

“I don’t know yet. He said it’d be a surprise so I’m sure it’ll be something sweet and romantic.” You fantasized with a dreamy look.

Hearing this, Lucas rolled his eyes before the professor walked into the class. “Good morning,” she called out while setting her belongings onto the front desk. “This is public speaking so if you’re in the wrong class I suggest now be the time to leave.”

A few snickers were heard as a student sitting on Lucas’ other side groaned in realization while re-checking her schedule. You watched as she grabbed her things and quickly left in embarrassment.

“That sucks,” Sana whispered and you nodded before Lucas just so happened to turn to the side and look at you.

The sudden look caught you by surprise and you quickly faced forward as the professor began to go over the syllabus, not daring to even glance to your left anymore for the next hour.

 For the next few months, you hadn’t said much to each other or paid attention to him – which he made easy as he was always skipping anyways.

Lucas was never around and you found yourself becoming less concerned with him anyways as soon as you had started dating the senior soccer star Minho, who urged you to come meet his family within just two months of dating.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” you whined as you nervously twisted the charm on your bracelet. “Don’t say that, my parents will love you.” Your boyfriend chimed with a reassuring smile.

For a moment you stayed silent, letting only the sound of crickets chirping in the night fill your ears before asking, “How can you be so sure?”

“Y/N. I know my parents, trust me on this one will ya?” He added and with that you slowly nodded your head in response. “If you say so,” you squeaked before he laughed and cupped your cheeks with his palms. “I know so,” the handsome man assured and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.

You couldn’t help but smile in relief before taking a deep breath as you then followed him inside his parent’s home. It was a beautiful place with chandeliers adorning the hall leading into the living room. You were quick to spot a woman who you presumed to be his mother as her eyes lit up. “Hun, Minho is home!” She announced while walking up to the two of you in delight.

“Hi mom,” your boyfriend grinned before wrapping his arms around in her in a tight embrace. She playfully scolded him as he lifted her off the ground just as his dad came from around the corner to greet him.

“Dad,” Minho called as he moved towards his father. “Have you been well?”

His father simply smiled as he wrapped a single arm around his son, patting his back in the process as he said, “Yes, yes. It’s been a while.” The older man answered him before looking over at you.

You had been standing there semi-awkwardly, watching the cheerful interaction between your boyfriend and his parents before Minho held your hand and introduced you. “Mom, dad – this is who’ve I’ve been blabbering about for the past few months.” He began just as you bowed to them in respect.

“Ah she’s even more beautiful than I expected,” his mother smiled as she placed a hand over her mouth. Running a hand through your hair, you shyly thanked her and his father for inviting you over before she ushered everyone to the table to eat.

Minho pulled a chair out for you next to him as his father sat at the head of the table while Minho’s mother brought out a tray holding a variety of freshly prepared meats and soups.

But while sitting there, you couldn’t help but notice the empty seat in front of you, seeing it as the only one left and standing out as Minho’s mother sat at the chair right beside it.

Noticing your stare, Minho suddenly stops pouring a glass of tea and speaks up, “Where’s he at?”

Hearing this, your eyes divert their attention to Minho’s father – who sighs as soon as Minho asks.

“…Your brother is coming.” The man informed. “He knows it’s important that he be here.”

Minho huffed and continued to pour the tea for you first. “We’ll just eat without him then,” he stated as soon as his mother sat down.

Noticing the annoyed look on your boyfriend’s face, you rubbed his arm. “Minho, maybe we should wait a little – if he said he’ll be here, then he’ll be here.”

“He’s known about this for weeks-” Minho countered and as if on cue, the front door opened – gaining everyone’s attention to the newcomer.

“Speak of the devil,” Minho’s father announced as he flattened his napkin.

There was a buildup of anticipation as a trail of loud footsteps crept down the hall. “Finally,” Minho grunted before standing out of his chair, getting up as soon as the newcomer entered the dining room.

You had a small smile adorning your face, ready to finally meet Minho’s brother, Yukhei for the first time. While dating, Minho had mentioned him numerous times – talking about their close bond despite not actually being blood related as his brother was adopted as a baby.

So, you were excited to meet the guy – being Minho’s brother must’ve meant he was just as great and kind as it seemed to run in the family. Minho had explained before that he was a freshman in college just like you, but the name didn’t ring a bell as you couldn’t recall a Yukhei being in any of your classes.

“Sorry I’m late,” you heard a deep voice announce as soon as he entered, causing your eyes to snap up.

However, as soon as they landed on the man your smile immediately faded and your lips parted in shock. “Luc-?” You nearly blurted out in shock before pressing your lips shut tight.

He was standing there, dressed in a simple black shirt and ripped jeans. Contrary to his rugged attire, his dark brown hair was parted to the side while his handsome face held a rich tan that suited perfectly against the deep red hue his full lips naturally held.

Just like Minho he was incredibly tall, and you only noticed the height comparison when he greeted his older brother with a handshake and a quick hug.

“You seem out of breath,” Minho commented to the younger.

“Track practice ran late,” he answered just as he looked ahead of Minho as you stood up.

And that’s when he saw you.

Just like you, he held the same look of obscene – quirking a thick brow and pursing his lips as he couldn’t hold in his reaction.

You winced at his look, narrowing your eyes as if daring him to say something stupid while Minho was about to introduce the two of you.

But it was too late as your boyfriend had already caught on to his brother’s estranged vibe, making him turn to you as well. “Wait - Do you two already know each other?”

“No!” you two blurted at the same time.

Hearing this, Minho paused for a second before urging Lucas to go over and greet you.

“Y/N this is my brother, Yukhei. Yukhei this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

You felt your body tense up as Lucas came forward, extending his hand to yours as you oh-so graciously shook it. “Nice to meet you, Yukhei” you said with a fake smile.

“You as well,” he mummed through gritted teeth. “But you can call me Lucas.”

“Is that what most people call you?” You asked, pretending to be oblivious and his jaw tightened.

“…It’s what everyone besides my family calls me.” He answered while staring at you and you simply feigned yet another smile.

“Good to know,” you added.

Minho and his parents simply stared at the two of you, feeling as if you could cut the tension with a knife before Minho loudly cleared his throat.

“Alright then, let’s eat shall we?”

Without another word, you stepped back and carefully sat in your seat as Lucas spotted the empty chair in front of you and slumped right in. His long legs bumped into yours from under the table and you narrowed your eyes at him from across before he took the hint and sat up a little straighter.

However, your scowl quickly faded as Minho suddenly passed a small cup of tea for you to drink, “Thank you,” you cooed beside him with a smile while Lucas watched the encounter. The younger kept a stiff expression, not giving the slightest hint to what he was thinking before grabbing a pair of chopsticks and serving himself.

“How did practice go, Yukhei?” His father asked, looking at him while placing a piece of meat in his mouth.

“Fine.” Lucas quickly answered, not bothering to look up.

Gazing up at him from across the table, you noticed his stiff posture – sitting awkwardly straight and keeping his eyes on the food while his parents and Minho began bragging of how good of a track star he was.

“I’m not that good,” Lucas bashfully interjected before Minho scoffed.

“Please, you only placed first in the whole district. Good would be an understatement.” He chimed followed by a few laughs from his parents.

Amid laughter, you caught sight of the shy smile Lucas held before he ejected the praise towards his older brother. “What about you jockhead? I heard your team is going to finals.”

“Four years in a row,” Minho grinned proudly. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to them when I graduate this year.”

“You seem so sure you’re going to win.” His mother scoffs while she sips at her wine.

“We got a pretty good team, mom…so far I’d say it’s been a pretty great senior year.” Minho chimes before looking at you beside him and flashing you one of those heart bursting smiles.

You couldn’t help but reciprocate the expression, catching his look before shyly looking away as the attention was now on you.

But while averting your gaze, you had suddenly caught another pair of eyes on you from across the table. Lucas had been watching the interaction between you and Minho, not meaning to necessarily stare but rather being unable to take his eyes off the way his brother made you blush.

In that split second you held his stare, looking into those dark orbs that held so much mystery beneath. It was an intimate slice of time, both looking but without a word to say.

“I’m sure you’re tired of all this sports talk,” Minho’s dad announced – causing both you and Lucas to abruptly break the secret stare.

“No it’s fine really,” you attempted to persuade before Minho’s mother began to speak from the other side.

“Why don’t you tell us about yourself. Are you from here?” The woman curiously asked, causing all the attention to be on you once more.

“I’m actually from a small town in the countryside.” You replied. “But my mother had me attend private school here in the city as she works as an advisor within the district.”

Suddenly the word, private school caught the attention of the parents – causing the boy’s mother to  cock a thin brow. “Oh which one? My boys attended private school as well.”

You gulped as your breath hitched in your throat, feeling a sense of nerves pinching at your skin as goosebumps rose to the surface. You could feel all eyes on you except from across the table, where Lucas was shamefully looking down instead.

You hadn’t realized how hard you had been biting on your lip before you felt the pain of the piercing of flesh succumb to your senses.

“…Kyung…” you barely muttered out.

“Really! Minho and Lucas went there too.” She screeched with a loud clap and you gave her a semi-awkward smile before Minho finally spoke up.

“Small world isn’t it? Shame, I never saw you around or else I would have asked you out sooner.” He gushed before his father laughed at his son’s adamancy.

“Well Minho tells me you’re the same age as Lucas,” his mother stated. “You’re in the same grade but this is your first-time meeting?”

“It’s a big school.” Lucas suddenly answered, and you snapped your attention to him.

“Well surely you could have met at class gatherings-” She started before Lucas slapped down his utensils and abruptly bolted out of his seat. “Where are you going?”

“I forgot something in the locker room,” he hastily replied while heading out the door.

“Yukhei can’t it wait? We have a guest!” She argued.

Upon seeing this, Minho narrowed his brows at his brother’s antics while mumbling the word “prick” before turning to his mother and telling her to just let him go.

“Mom forget him. You saw how fast he got up – he’s probably going to see a girl.” He suggested and you moved uncomfortably in your seat before watching the lights of what you assumed to be Lucas’ car light up outside.

And before you knew it, he was off – leaving everyone in a fit of annoyance and confusion as all that was left in front of you now was the unfinished meal he had left behind.

~*~

You sat down casually and brought out your notebooks, ready to start the day early as you were one of the first to arrive to class.

 Your eyes glanced at your phone screen near you, quickly reading over the text Sana had sent you.

Sana: “Missing class today. Not feeling well :’(“

 “Hope you feel better soon” you typed out just as you felt a presence beside you.

 “So my brother, huh?” Lucas blurted out as he slammed his books on the desk.

 Hearing this, you narrowed your brows. “I didn’t know…”

 “Am I supposed to believe that?” He hissed while plopping into his seat. You finally looked at him, arms crossed and all as his tone was infuriating you by the second.

 “Believe what you want. I’m telling you the truth.”

 The man shot you an annoyed look, pursing his lips as he said, “How could you have not known-”

“Gah Lucas! I think maybe if I would have known your real name that would have helped a little - and I don’t know if you remember in that little brain of yours, but I recall trying to stay the hell away from you all throughout grade school.”

 “You know it wasn’t personal.”

 “Seems personal when you rejected me in front of all your friends,” you snapped and he lowered his gaze.

 “Do you know how embarrassing that was for me,” You whimpered. “I had the biggest crush on you and instead of a simple “no” you let your friends do all the talking and laugh at me for even thinking I had a chance.” You added, “They called me every name in the book and did you ever think to say a word?”

Hearing this, Lucas was at a loss for words as the memory came to light. He remembered the devastating look on your face - flushed and filled with absolute embarrassment as his immature friends made fun of you.

 He felt bad, horrible even. But despite his friend’s cruel antics did he ever think to say a word? No - for he himself was too embarrassed to admit that he liked you as well: the studious girl who, unlike other girls your age hadn’t reached puberty yet and was a shrimp for size, who had only a few close friends and preferred having her nose stuck in a book rather than going to a party that lasted till 3am.

 Back then, Lucas was trying to fit in and his reputation at school was becoming increasingly more popular amongst the students. He was the cross-country track star, the anchor of his relay team and number one high jumper in the district.

 He was the guy that would go to fan meets and meet celebrities of his choosing and instead of fans coming to take pictures of the celebrity, they’d be taking pictures of him - the handsome pretty boy instead.

Needless to say, he enjoyed the attention and ever-growing popularity status. But since that dreadful day at school, he noticed you had stayed away from him. You used to help him with his homework every day after school but now you had avoided him completely - not even uttering a word to him when he’d still have the gall to ask if “tutoring was still on” for the evening.

 You had come to the harsh realization that maybe you were “dreaming”. Maybe you just needed a harsh reality check to come to matters that you and the oh-so popular Lucas were never compatible in the first place - despite how sweet you believed him to be whenever it was just the two of you.

 So every day since you avoided him as you never wanted to go through that type of humiliation again.

And it was with these haunting memories that clouded your minds until the professor enter the class and began her lesson.

 You shoved the past to the back of your mind and began diligently writing down notes as Lucas stared at the blank piece of notebook paper in front of him - taking a second to glance at you occasionally.

 “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 Your lip quivered at his sudden words. “Forget it,” you countered, unable to pick your head up as you were afraid to be vulnerable as he would only see the sincere hurt in your eyes.

 Lucas studied you for a second, spotting the flushed look on your cheeks before opening his mouth to speak once more. “I mean it,” he urged, and you slapped down your pen before finally looking at him.

 And sure enough when you did, he was able to see the expression your face held as he was only inches apart from you.

 Your eyes bore into his, not breaking the stare even as your orbs were on the verge of tears while you said, “Lucas. Stop.”

 His expression softened upon seeing you - taking all that was in him to not apologize a thousand times over again as he realized it would only get him nowhere.

 What’s done is done. He thought. You can’t take the past away.

 After that the man didn’t utter a single word to you, only leaving you to your thoughts and feelings as you struggled to concentrate and write down the rest of the day’s lecture notes.

And as soon as the professor dismissed class you were the first one to run out - desperate to get away from the man you hated before he could see your tears.

 ~*~

For the next few days you and Lucas didn’t speak in class. He didn’t bother you like you initially thought he would but instead gave you the space you had basically demanded last time.

 You noticed he was scribbling in his notebook throughout class, bored out of his mind as he would doodle meaningless shapes and faces.

 Glancing back to your own notes, you couldn’t help but realize that even after all these years he hadn’t changed his habits. Even back then, Lucas hated sitting in a class and would often entertain his boredom by drawing or sleeping.

 “That’ll be it for today’s lecture. You have a quiz on Monday so make sure you study chapters 7 and 8.” Your professor concluded her lecture, suddenly catching Lucas’ attention as he snapped his head up with wide eyes.

 Feeling defeated, he mumbled a curse and looked at the useless drawings he had created rather than notes for the quiz.

 You found yourself side-eyeing the man, biting your lip as you dealt with your inner struggle. Your initial reaction was to automatically offer to share your notes and help him study. However, the other side of you figured it’d be better to just leave him on his own, given your past experiences.

 Why should I help him? It’s his fault? You kept thinking as you began packing your things.

 It was this mindset that you found yourself leaning more towards - feeling a sense of selfishness overcome you as you had too many things on your plate to help him anyways.

But you noticed Lucas was already zipping up his backpack and getting out of his seat, following the last few remaining students outside before you instinctively called out to him. “Lucas!”

 He turned around upon hearing his name and it was at that moment you had realized what you’d done.

 You don’t know what suddenly overcame you, but It was as if you simply couldn’t ignore your instincts and let him fall behind. As much as you tried, you knew you weren’t the type of person to ignore someone in need – no matter the past consequences.

 So you grabbed your things and quickly rushed down the steps before catching up to him at the doorway. He looked confused for a moment, not understanding why you were even talking to him in the first place after how well things went last time.

 “About the quiz on Monday,” you muttered. “I’m willing to help you-” You started and Lucas scrunched his nose in response. “What makes you think I need help?” He asked defensive and you sighed.

 “I know you didn’t take notes in class,” you admitted and he huffed in response, too proud to acknowledge it before you took his glare as a sign and gave up.

 “Alright fine, I tried.” You threw your hands up in the air in defeat – conscious cleared and all before heading into the busy hallway.

 Suddenly watching you leave, Lucas’ eyes grew wide and he mentally scolded himself while coming to the realization that maybe at this moment his grade was worth more than his pride. He searched amongst students in the hallway, spotting you pretty fast before heading straight over.

 However, he was blocked by a group of people crowding over half of the hall as they gathered around a single man shouting some ridiculous theory about vampires existing – and how he was put on this Earth to “save humanity” while holding a handful of garlic gloves in his hands.

 “Get a life Mark!” Some students called out to the man as Lucas swiftly passed by.

 “What the hell?” Lucas mumbled, eyeing the crowd before making his way through. You halted just as Lucas came in front of you, nearly startling your peaceful state as his tall frame blocked your own. “Can I help you?” You hissed.

 “Just this once,” he blurted. “I’ll admit I wasn’t paying attention.”

 You cocked a brow and although had something sarcastic to say in the back of your mind, held it in as you could see the look of desperation in his eyes.

 “-and I know I don’t deserve your help,” he added. “But I’d appreciate it if you did this one last time.”

 You stared at him, noticing the sincerity in his tone and the look in his eyes that had you suddenly remembering why you had fallen for him in the first place all those years ago.

 But that same look had quickly disappeared just as Lucas spotted someone coming from behind you. “Hi beautiful,” Minho called as he placed an arm around you, catching you unexpectedly off guard as you looked up to him.

 “Hey,” you smiled just as Minho looked to Lucas.

 “Hey lil bro,” he greeted. “I see you two are becoming friends.”

 “We’re in the same class, so we’re thinking of studying for the quiz together.” You informed and Minho casually acknowledged.

 “Good. Yukhei needs all the help he can get,” Minho added with a laugh and you looked down as Lucas rolled his eyes.

 “Oh, so what happened at dinner?” Minho added, signaling towards his brother.

 Lucas looked uncomfortable as he then glanced to you and then back to Minho, “I told you I left something in my locker,” he repeated and Minho nodded before stepping forward and ruffling the younger’s hair. “Liar, I know you went and met a girl.” He teased as Lucas slapped his hand away.

 “Whoever it is, tell her to be more patient and wait till after dinner,” Minho scolded, causing the younger to huff. “My girlfriend is more important.” He added while shooting a smile your way.

 Lucas attempted to hold his reaction in and instead only showed an emotionless look as he then eyed you. “When are you available?”

 “I’m free tomorrow,” you answered and he bit his lip.

 “I have a track meet, but I’m out at six if you want to study then,” he suggested and you nodded.

 “So about 6 then?” You asked and he agreed.

 “I’ll see you in the common room,” Lucas added before bidding his brother goodbye and leaving the two of you as the content look on his face quickly disappeared into one of jealousy…

#wong yukhei #nct lucas #shinee minho #choi minho #yukhei smut #lucas smut #nct mark #nct smut #mark lee #nct u #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fanfic #kpop series #kpop scenarios #kpop smut

[jessefandomunited]

He’s my best friend- Steve X Reader ( Part 5)

(the Kiss) 

The next day I felt weird, It was the weekend so I really didn’t have to do much, which was good because I wasn’t all there. I stayed in my room for the most part , just thinking. I felt like my whole world has shifted, not destroyed, that's a bit too extreme, it just shifted and so suddenly that It took me off guard. My best friend that I have had for years, that I’ve seen so many times before, is now giving my goosebumps on my arms and butterflies in my stomach. It was silly, I was being ridiculous, I was aloud to like whoever I want! Why would it matter if it was my best friend. I sighed because I knew exactly what was stopping me, it was the same reason Steve hesitated, it was in the poem, “I know you are different, we’ve know each other for years, but that makes me more fearful, that it will end up in tears.” I bit my lip and pinched the bridge of my nose, would it really hurt that much to try? This isn’t an experience I wanted to try, heartbreak I mean, if I could go through my whole life without that I would be more than happy. There was a light knock on my door, “ Dear? Your friend Steve is here.” She opened the door and raised an eyebrow, “ have you been in bed all day? Are you sick? I can tell him to come back later.” I shook my head, “ I’m fine mom I’ll be down in a second.” I grabbed my flower skirt and a plain shirt, trying to look at least a little put together. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed before walking down stairs. I saw Steve sitting on the couch in our living room. “ Hey ,” I said simply leaning over the railing. His eyes widened and he quickly stood up, “ h..hey,” Steve stuttered walking over, “ I…I though you might want to just get out of the house for a bit. Your mom said you’ve been in your room all day, are you alright?” I smiled weakly, “ I’m fine, just thinking.” He’s heard me say that so many times I thought he would be use to it by now however he looked slightly worried, “ Well okay. So, do you want to?” My mind snapped back to the first question he asked, “ oh yes, I’d love to go for a walk.” He nodded and lead me to the door. “ Bye mom,” I yelled. “ Bye honey, be back by 6 okay, and Steve, if you want to come over for dinner that's fine,” She called back. “ Thank you,” Steve said, “ I might take you up on that.” 

 We tried to make conversation, but I think we both knew how we felt and we were both too nervous to actually say anything about it. This is stupid, this was exactly why I didn’t want to think of him in this way, it made it feel like we were meeting each other for the first time all over again. “ Stupid,” I whispered to myself. “ What,” Steve asked looking over. I sighed and shook my head, “ it’s nothing I’m just…” “ Thinking, I know,” Steve finished, “ funnily enough I have been too.” I smiled slightly, “ that’s not surprising at all, you’re smart.” He shook his head, “ no, it’s fine, I know I’m not, but that’s not what I wanted to say.” He suddenly stopped and gently picked up my hand, “ Listen, I’ve been thinking about…you…for a while now….how much you’ve always been there for me, you always cheer me up when I’m feeling down. You’re smart, funny, and…adorable.” I’m sure my face was pure red by now. “ Please, just tell me you don’t feel the same way and we can just keep being friends because honestly I don’t know why I’m feeling this way and I know you don’t feel the same,” He was rambling. I slowly rubbed his hand, my eyes fixed on the ground, “ Steve.” “ What,” He said looking over at me looking from my hand to my face. “ Oh sorry,” He said beginning to let go of my hand. “ No,” I blurted grabbing his hand back, “i…I can’t say I don’t feel the same way…because I have.” It was his turn for his cheeks to get red, “ Really?” I bit my lip and responded, “ ya if you cant hear my heart right now I’d be surprised.” He smiled lightly and looked around, there were only a few people out and walking around however, I think he wanted to be somewhere a bit more private to talk. I nodded slightly, almost reading his thought, “ we can continue this at your house if you want.” He seemed relieved, “thank you.” He gently intertwined his fingers with mine and we started walking. 

We made it to his house quickly, I could sense he was both incredibly nervous and excited to finish talking. He hesitated before releasing my hand so he could open the door, which I couldn’t help but say a light, “awww.” His cheeks turned a dark shade of red and he said a short, “ shut up.” Before quickly unlocking the door and inviting me in. I smiled brightly now knowing I could make him flustered so easily. I walked in and sat down on the couch. He slowly walked over running his hand through his hair, which I use to think nothing of, but now it made me feel like my heart was trying to escape my body. “ This is crazy,” He whispered pacing a bit before sitting down next to me. “ Alright, I’m going to try really hard not to be offended,” I sighed pulling my knees to my chest, hugging them. “ No…no it’s not that,” Steve sighed sitting down next to me, grabbing my hand again, “ I…I just can’t believe I was this blind.” I looked over at him, “ good save.” “ I’m serious ,” he insisted lightly pulling me over closer to him. I stumbled a bit and was now inches from his face. I was very unsure of how to react in a situation like this so, I did what I usually did, made a joke. “So…you come here often, “ I chuckled nervously. He smiled and shook his head, “can you be serious for like a second, please.” “ Sorry,” I whispered , my hands shaking, “ I don’t know how to act in awkward situations that well.” He smiled softly, “ you really are something else.” I rolled my eyes, “ that's one way of saying it.” “hey, don’t knock yourself down alright,” He said gently, pulling me into a tight hug, “ I love you so much.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered, “ I love you too Steve.” He pulled me closer as if he was about to lose me if he loosened the grip even slightly. I felt my whole body trembling, I felt so stupid, telling a boy I like him should have been a piece of cake vs having to fight literal monsters, but I was still scared stiff. “ Relax I’ve got you,” He whispered in my ear giving me goosebumps. “ I know you do,” I said , pulling back slightly to look right into his gorgeous brown eyes. I could tell he was just as nervous as me. “ Do you think you could be happy with a dork like me,” I asked tilting my head. He smiled widely, “ absolutely.” I suddenly became aware that I had never kissed anyone before, I know being a introverted socially awkward nerd this comes as a surprise, but I decided maybe I could just let him make the first move. “ Are you okay,” He asked gently cupping my face. He’s asked me this so many times before that I felt like I should get tired of it but honestly it just made me think that he’s always loved me. “ I’m okay, I’ve just never,” I blushed furiously, it was almost embarrassing to admit it, it seemed so silly especially since I knew Steve has done much more than kiss girls. He suddenly looked surprised and asked, “ you’ve never kissed anyone before have you?” I looked down a little sheepishly, “ maybe.” I thought he was going to tease me a bit but he simply tilted my face up and said with a serious expression, “ listen I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do.” I smiled lightly, he was just full of surprises, “no I want to….i just don’t know if I’ll be any good.” “ I’ll go slow,” He said with a wink. I smiled and looked down a minuet before saying, “ you’re such a gentleman.” He chuckled too but then got serious, “ I mean it though, I want this to last, and I don’t want to rush into anything you’re not comfortable with, and to be honest, after everything that happened with Nancy I’m not ready to go full force into a relationship either.” I nodded slowly, “ I understand, and please don’t feel like I’m pushing you either. I know you were hurt before, and I really don’t want to do that to you.” He looked at me with something I can only describe as pure love. It looked like he was about to cry but he was smiling wider than I have ever seen. “ I love you, I love you so much,” He sighed gently pressing his lips against mine. It was much better than the movies ever made it seem. His soft lips against mine, sending electricity through my very being. I wrapped my arms to him and gently bit his lip before kissing him more deeply, I don’t know what came over me, my head was spinning. I felt him smile as he whispered, “ my goodness you’re getting pretty into this.” “ I saw it on a movie once,” I admitted pressing my forehead against his. He chuckled, “ and they say those movies aren’t educational.” I smirked and whispered, “ that was amazing, better than I ever thought it be.” “Honestly I want to kiss you much much more, but I really cant handle more right now, my mind keeps going back to Nancy and I want it to be fully on you,” He said pushing some strands of hair behind my ear. I nodded and rested my head on his chest and whispered, “ please take all the time you need, It’ll be worth it.” He rubbed my back and shook his head, “ I really do Love you, so much.” “ I know,” I said with a slight smirk, quoting star wars, which we had seen together right when it came out. “Dork,” He said with a smirk. “ I try,” I whispered closing my eyes. We stayed like that for hours, not even talking, it was just nice enjoying each other company in silence.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #stranger things

[miene-blaubeere]

Love Through Quidditch

James' POV: I had never been more excited, Dad had got us tickets to see Puddlemere United play Ballycastle Bats in the Quidditch League Final at the Quidditch Trillenium Stadium! As I got off the Hogwarts Express after a long year I met with my mum and dad and that's when he told me, he told me it was because I 'settled down' a bit more this year for OWLs. Joke's on them, I just became sneakier. Over the whole holiday all I could think about was going to the match, I'd get to see Alfred Nimble live in action! He's one of the best Chasers ever, one of my heroes really. The day had finally arrived and my dad and I were walking down to a portkey point to make the journey to the famous stadium. Decorated in my Puddlemere memorabilia and waving about my blue and gold flag I ran up to the portkey, which was an old trainer, and held on to it with my dad kneeling down beside me in his blue and gold scarf. Soon enough the familiar whirling sensation began and we were transported to Dartmoor, I wobbled about on my feet slightly as I normally did but soon became stable again. Turning to my dad, I straightened my glasses and threw him a wide, cheesy smile, which he returned with a chuckle. His arm was around my shoulders as we walked through the swarms of people to keep me close. Blurs of blue and gold merged into black and red as the fans of Puddlemere and Ballycastle mingled, a few of the older fans were already hitting the beer, and it definitely wasn't Butterbeer. Outside the stadium was stands selling team memorabilia and food so dad and I decided to have a look around. The enchanting smell of Pumpkin Pasties filled the air, a miniature of a golden snitch zipped past my face closely followed by yet another miniature but this one was Jeffery Smith, Puddlemere Seeker, with brilliant blue smoke coming from the end of his broom, soon after came Martha Littleworth, Ballycastle Seeker, bellowing black smoke from her broom. I spun around on the spot watching them fly of with a fascinated and awe inspired smile on my face, dad chuckled and pulled me along with him, "c'mon son, it's almost time for the game to start," enough was said and the roles were reversed and it was me pulling my dad along towards the entrance to the stadium. Once we had climbed up to our places in the stadium I instantly scrambled up to the bar to look over at the pitch. The six hoops stood either end of the pitch as they should, the balls were in their chest prepared for the game, my eyes lingered on the gates that were appropriately decorated for the team that was going to be walking out of them in no less that five minutes. Excitement was brimming inside me and I was finding it difficult to contain it all. Four minutes had passed but it felt like four years, I was bouncing forwards and backwards on my feet in anticipation. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone beside me, they seemed to be bouncing around in anticipation also. I took a quick glance and noticed it was a girl, she was about my age and was also completely covered in blue and gold. A Puddlemere supporter, she obviously had good taste. This girl intrigued me, I can't quite decide what it was about her but I knew I needed to talk to her. As I stood there trying to build up the courage to say something to her the were suddenly cheers coming from every direction, but her cheers seemed to be the loudest to me. I spun around when I felt something zip past me. I leaned over the bar in awe watching the team fly around the stadium on their brooms. After speeding around the stadium the differnent members of the team broke off and flew about in different directions as the crowd began to sing 'Beat Those Bludgers Back Boys, and Chuck That Quaffle Here,'. My heart began to race as Alfred Nimble flew around my level with his hand out, giving people high-fives as he flew past. Quickly, I reached out and my hand came into contact with his and I almost went into full fanboy mode, screeching and squealing. That's when I heard a giggling noise from beside me, I glanced over to see the girl, he eyes quickly diverted back to the Puddlemere players with a small smile ghosting her features. I felt colour flood my cheeks as I realised she had witnessed my little outburst. I looked to see where she was looking and saw the Andrews brothers swirling about in the sky above, waving their Beaters bats in the air. I don't know what encouraged me to do so but I moved across the railing and stood beside her and said, "So, you like Beaters?" She turned her head towards me with a bright smile on her face, " absolutely, best member of any Quidditch team hands down!" She exclaimed enthusiastically. I laughed at this and questioned, " so do you play as a Beater?" to which she replied with, " no, I'm a keeper, obviously," her tone dripped with playful sarcasm. "Okay, okay fair enough," I chuckled, smiles stayed on both of our faces. " Wearing so much blue is so weird and weird to me," I thought aloud, "why's that?" the girl asked, " well, at Hogwarts I'm a Gryffindor so there's an awful lot of red." She nodded in understanding then replied saying, " I live in blue so it isn't so different for me," I was going to reply but the iconic sound of the announcement of the beginning of the match sounded and my attention instantly turned onto the game as did hers. The game flew by, no pun intended. Jeffery Smith had caught the snitch and Puddlemere were ahead 100 points anyway, I was filled with euphoria. As we began to leave the stadium and go home my eyes scanned the crowds trying to look for the girl I had lost in the rabble of people after realising I didn't even get her name. My efforts of finding her had been in vain, little did I know what lied ahead. Sixth year had rolled around, I was back at Hogwarts with my three best friends and everything was going smoothly. School had started a couple of weeks back and the first Quidditch match of the year was happening soon, Gryffindor Vs Ravenclaw. I don't mean to sound big headed when I say this but it should be a fairly easy win. My team and I made our way out onto the pitch in our scarlet robes, the Ravenclaws approaching the centre at the same pace. We met in the middle before going up on our brooms and the balls were soon released. The game started to our advantage, the Quaffle kept going through the hoops ramping up our points, however a Bludger had caught the shoulder of one of our Chasers meaning it was just down to the two remaining of us. It wasn't long after that our keeper had been taken out. Scoring had now been made easy for the Ravenclaws, I was distracted for a moment when I saw one of the Ravenclaw Beaters flying near me, I had to have a double take as I instantly recognised her as the girl from the Puddlemere Vs Ballycastle match. Her H/C hair secured back to keep it from distracting her and obscuring her vision, her S/C skin glowed in the early autumnal sunlight. As I found myself trapped in some kind of trance I suddenly heard her familiar shout, "Look out!" Before I knew it I felt the wind rushing past me as plummeted to the ground below. My body braced itself for impacted but I felt my mind drift off before I could even feel anything. My eyes opened briefly, I felt stationary as far as I could tell. The last thing I remembered was a blur of blue. As my body came back round to consciousness a sharp pain seared through my head causing me to have a sharp intake of breath. My eyelids flickered open once again although this time my vison was much clearer. I took in the scenery I had now grown accustomed to, the hospital wing. Sirius, Remus and Peter suddenly rushed into my view with concerned looks painted on their faces which quickly shifted into looks of relief. "Where is she?" I asked quickly, " Do you mean the Ravenclaw girl?" Remus asked in a confused tone, " yes, where is she?" I asked in an urgent tone. " She's just outside, why?" Peter asked curiously, "I need to talk to her, just go get her for me!" " That's the thanks we get as your friends for sticking around here?! 'Bugger off and get me the girl' insulting," Sirius called in a dramatic tone as he walked towards the doors of the Hospital Wing to get her. After he brought the now shy seeming girl over he linked his arms with Remus and Peter's and dragged them towards the exit. " Come along boys, we'll leave his highness King James to whatever it is he's doing. You know from now on he can just kiss my perfect posterior!" Sirius called over his shoulder, over exaggerating his already dramatic tone. After they had left, before she could say anything I blurted out " will you go  to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" She had a shocked look on her face, before she replied I continued by saying, " I would really love to get to know you better, I think a good start would be your name, I'm James." " Y/N," she said simply with a small, delicate smile spread across her face, " Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

#james potter x reader #James potter #Harry Potter #marauders x reader #marauders imagine #marauders era #marauders

[cobaenjensen]

Kalan vs Black Butler Chapter 7

Kalan was furious with the answers she had been given the past 24 hours.  First they didn't make sense and now it seems that everyone was playing a game with her, making fun of the lack of memories she had.  Agni and Prince Soma were afraid to move and were just sat quietly watching her as Kalan glared at the table, her mind racing with all this information. "Agni, Prince Soma, do you know if the Earl has a bible in this house?" she asked after the awkward silence grew too much.

"I think so, I am sure I saw it in his study" the Prince replied thinking carefully. "I will get it now"

"No, thank you.  I will go to the study and read it there.  Agni, could I trouble you in making some tea for me? I will more than likely be a while" Kalan asked standing and looking at the Indian butler with almost tearful eyes.

"Of course Kalan I will do it right away" he chirped with a grin.  Prince Soma guided Kalan to the study and began a small search for the bible till he spotted it in a glass case. "Ah look! I knew it was here" he chuckled. "I will let you get on with it, let me know if you desire anything" he said walking past Kalan.  She held out her hand, grasping his and pulled him around. "Prince Soma.  Thank you" she whispered and dived into his chest, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace.  The Prince who blinked in disbelief sighed and smiled, hugging her back in return.

"I haven't done much" he chuckled

"You have been kind to me and I need as much kindness as I can get" she mused giving him one more squeeze before letting him go.  Agni was in the doorway and his eyes were sparkling "K...Kalan in the arms of my Prince! what a

 wonderful sight!" he glittered. "Agni No! No it isn’t what it looks like" Prince Soma wheezed shaking his arms in front of him.

Agni placed the tray on the desk and poured her a cup. "I have brought you some food as well, you can't keep just drinking tea" he giggled. Both Agni and Prince Soma left the study so Kalan could read the bible.  It was a large tome with very thin pages.  She spent the all evening, night and morning reading through its binding.  Agni came in every so often to make sure she was well fed, nothing was going to stop Kalan from reading the entire bible! The next morning Agni came in and chuckled as Kalan's eyes were red and sore, her hair was messy and she was trying her hardest to stick with it. "Morning my Lady, I have brought your tea and some pancakes." he grinned.

"Agni, that smile annoys me.  HOW CAN PEOPLE READ THIS TRIPE?!" she added with a smile in return. "I have managed this far and it was alright, then this Jesus bloke just... I... what?!"

A laughter like nothing she has ever heard before echoed through the shadows. "That is the best reaction I have heard to someone reading the bible" Sebastian emerged from the doorway.

Kalan launched up from her chair and bowed "Master Sebastian! I didn't know you were here" she sighed with exhaustion.  "But please excuse me, as soon as I have eaten I will be retiring to bed.  Being up all night reading... This has really exhumed all my energy" she chuckled darkly.

"Anything interesting or memorable from it?" he asked "How is that going?" "I have had quite an experience since being here.  Most of it frustrating, but I think I am getting there" Kalan replied "Some things seem familiar but alas, it makes no sense"

Sebastian nodded and left her alone with the last few pages of the bible. Kalan thanked Agni and warned them of her going to bed and they promised that they wouldn’t make a sound.  Kalan changed out of her clothes and collapsed into a deep sleep almost right away.

~Dream Sequence~

Kalan stood facing the sea, the soft wind blew into her face and caused her hair to dance.  Breathing in she grinned as the pink clouds passed by without a care in the world.  A platypus popped up from the water’s edge and purred as he transformed into a dog and cuddled up to her. “Reed” she whispered kneeling down to pet him.  There was a shadow looming behind her and spinning around she was faced with a figure.  ‘THE’ figure she saw before. “Who are you?” she asked stepping away from him a few steps.

The figure chuckled “A few hours on the beach wiped your memory of me Kalan? It’s me Gadreel”

“The Eden guardian?”

“The very same” he smirked and smoothed her cheek. “Come on, let’s go” he added taking her hand and guiding her into the forest that was now in front of her.

The forest was so beautiful, many colours and smells greeted her nostrils.   Animals of all shapes and sizes frolicked in the background until they came to a clearing.  It seemed to be well used but it was empty at the moment, there was a table with apples on them.  Rushing to them Kalan picked them up and frowned. “I can’t remember what this means!” she grumbled and faced Gadreel with a red apple in one and a green one in the other.  Sighing Gadreel slapped the red apple out of her hand “The red apple of the tree of knowledge.  It is forbidden to touch such a thing”

“I didn’t take a bite it was…Eve.  ADAM AND EVE” she gasped and began to run again, the forest began to die, it faded from a crisp vibrant green to a dirty brown and then a wilted black again she came into a clearing and ghosts replayed out the scene.  Eve was challenging Adam a crowd of humans were jeering and cheering for Eve.  Kalan couldn’t look anymore and she began to run to Adam calling for him.  As she got there they fell through what looked like a portal, as she landed she surveyed her surroundings.  It was a city made of stone, wood and clay, watching from the top she saw everything at a quick pace.  Kalan being introduced to the humans, the relationships she had created with them, the second betrayal, her murder, rebirth, retribution and then… Lucifer, destruction, war, heaven, death.  Everything happens so quick it was hard for her to comprehend.  Screaming out Kalan felt around for something, someone!  Something made her scream out “Gabriel! Michael! Lucifer!” she cried, tears welling up until she saw a light.  A door to be exact, walking through she saw that it was a pure white room. Nothing was in it except for six figures.  They were all dark shadows and they all had their back to her, with a frown Kalan started from the far left side.

The first was dressed in a grey suit with green pinstripes, his hair was a shaggy black highlighted in silver. “Gingersnap! How wonderful to see you again!” he chimed.

“That voice! I know it” she thought out aloud, touching his face she smoothed his cheeks and ran her fingers through his hair. “G…Gabriel? Is… is that you?” she whispered realising how much she loved and missed the Archangel.

“The one and only dearest.  Look at how grown up you have become.  I am so proud of you” he laughed bringing her in for a large, warming hug and kissed her on the head. Then as if he was made of bubbles he disappeared and popped from sight. “WH…What?!” she gasped with sadness.

Confused Kalan turned to the second person.  He brushed her off him and frowned. “Kalan.” He said sharply “What are you doing here.  You said that you wanted to live on Earth with all the humans” he blinked without a smile or notch of emotion.  He wore big round glasses and a white suit, small blue pinstripes decorated his suit and his hair was a smooth slicked back brown, the slightest hint of a beard was visible.

“Michael.” Kalan uttered, a shiver ran down her spine. “It seems I have lost some memories and I am here to get them back.” She replied just as cold as him. “Well, we never really got on and we did try to grow up and get over our past as a form of being civil…”

“And…” Kalan asked folding her arms and tilting her head to the side. “We are on and off” he winked with the smallest hint of a smile.  As he smiled Michael popped out of existence, just like Gabriel. Kalan sighed and stomped her foot on the ground in frustration.

With a hesitant hand, Kalan stood in front of the third.  She was almost touching him when she stopped herself.  His suit was red with a thicker pinstripe to Michael and Gabriel.  Clearing her throat Kalan held her breath. “Morning Star…” she said looking at his blonde hair, crafted half up and half down style.  He chuckled and spun around and grinned a large and warm grin.

“Kalan, my beautiful little girl!” he charmed bringing her in for a hug.  His embrace was warm and he smelt of lemongrass.  Kalan stayed in his arms as long as possible. “Why?” she replied.

“Why what?” he asked, bending down to her height.

“You betrayed me more than once, then you force me to possess…. Malum.  Oh dear MALUM” she gasped remembering a little more.  Staring deep into Lucifer’s crimson eyes. “I loved you and yet you ruined my existence! You killed everyone I loved and you broke me! I HATE you” she frowned holding on to his suit arm.

“But yet you refuse to let me go?” he commented, his voice was still soft and caring and Kalan grumbled as she eventually let go of Lucifer.

“I spent an age thinking you loved me, thinking that everything you did was for the greater good.  All of you kept me in the dark about the War that was going on…”

“We did it to protect you…”

“BULLSHIT!” she bawled, something fell from her sleeve and she lashed out at him, causing the figure to burst into bubbles.

For a long moment Kalan stood there, shaking with anger.  Looking at the thing that slid down from her sleeve she shed a few tears as she saw a silver blade, thin as a leaf but sharper than a blade.  Whipping it, the blade transformed into a cane in which she tapped the next figure.  With a mass of curly red hair she grinned with an almost malicious grin “Malum” Kalan stated with a small smile. “Kalan.  Welcome back to us” she laughed.  Her dress was glittering with the aura of every astral plane in existence. “I have missed you” she winked.

“Don’t talk crap. You and I both needed this break, but making me forget my memories, that’s a bit harsh.” Kalan said with such dry humour Malum nearly doubled over with laughter.

“Don’t blame me! I am not to blame for once.  YOU TOLD Michael to do it.  If it gives people the chance to know you without your memories then you would take that chance.”

Kalan stood there listening to her blather on about how it was all her fault and she should stop making all these stupid judgements. “Alright ALRIGHT! Sheesh!” Kalan scorned “So shall we get it over with? As I assume that’s when I will get all of my memories back?” Kalan thought.

Malum wiggled her finger and tutted “Not let little Gingersnap you still have… two more people to go” she chuckled looking down to see two other figures standing next to her. “I will be there when you wake” and faster than the speed of sound she burst into bubbles.

The next figure, from the back she looked a lot like Malum except she had raging fiery ginger tight locks that spread down to her waist.  Tapping her the girl turned around and Kalan nearly screamed.  She didn’t recognise her.  It looked a lot like Kalan and it was freaking her out, upon instinct she touched the next figure who began to chuckle.  She recognised that laugh but she was too preoccupied with the girl.  The other figure, with long silver hair and a hat that was bent and crumpled turned and placed a hand on Kalan’s shoulder “Kalan?” he spoke.

“Who… Who is that?” she asked cuddling up to him.  He smiled and placing the hat on her head he brought her face to look at him.

“Why… She is you!” he said.  His green eyes shone underneath the silver fringe that covered his scar and eyes.

Kalan gasped when she realised who she was talking to and the real reason to why he was there. “Undertaker, you… you are the first! Why did I not notice it before” she grinned taking hold of his face and lifting the fringe to get a better look at him. “The first reaper I ever met, the only reaper to collect me from Aita*” she bit her lip and hugged him tight. “I have been so blind!”

“No dear Kalan, your mind has been clouded by a darkness you wanted to be blinded by” he corrected her.

Kalan looked and the undertaker with narrow eyes, then she looked back at the ginger figure who he called Kalan. “That…That’s what I look like?” she uttered again.

The Kalan in front of them blinked with a look of confusion.  Her eyes shone with a green and a gold tint. “I am you and you are not you.  Wake up and become the you, you know is the right you” she uttered in a sad smile.

“How? I need the sleep and this is clearly what I… sleep.  Oh yeah, I am dreaming and in dreams, I can be whoever I want to be right?” she said winking. “Kalan, No this isn’t how this works” the undertaker said holding out a hand. “Oh I believe it is, naughty undertaker!” she charmed walking backwards, away from them both.

“You don’t understand you need to wake up and Malum will be there” he warned her.

“Kalan come back.” The other Kalan said with no expression.

“No, you can’t make me.  This is my dream and I can do what I want” she laughed picking up the pace, she span around and looked directly in front of her.  No more was there a white room, but instead the forest burnt and the fire was quickly catching up to her.  Kalan turned back around to find that the Undertaker burst into bubbles and ‘Kalan’ began to walk towards her, the forest over threw the white room.

“On the contrary, I can and I will” came the other Kalan’s voice.  The fire began to incinerate everything behind her and as fast as Kalan ran, she couldn’t out run the fire, it nipped at her heels and burnt away her dress.  Running and running Kalan kept going till she came to a black wall, there was nothing after it just a sheer endless black wall that cornered her.  Looking behind Kalan began to scream, the fire was bright and it hurt.  It hurt all over her body, screaming and screaming Kalan then began to hear voices.

“Kalan! KALAN Listen to me wake up!  Wake UP” she was being shaken, that voice… it sounded like Agni.

“Kalan! Lady Kalan!” came another voice.

“Help! Help me! Agni! SOMEONE… Reed… Undertakkeeerrr” she screamed.

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #black butler fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #my first fanfic #Undertaker Kuroshitsuji #Undertaker #Agni #Prince Soma #Soma and Agni

[old-long-john]

(1/8)Oh my good golly gosh darn, Laura!!!! I would drown in your words if I could. That bit from your unfinished fic, I'm in awe. I am completely smitten with your interpretation of Silver. I wish I could articulate a response to your answers besides !!!!! (Also you're a saint for humoring me.) I could listen and talk to you about John Silver all day. You touched on some really good points in previous answers that I didn't acknowledge, so I'd like to address some of them now because wow.

You do such a good job unpacking the minutiae in each scene, but then I feel the need to further explicate your meta because you bring up so many brilliant points. 1.“Funny that Silver’s learnt so much shit from Flint, except that allowing yourself to be blinded to rationality and truths is a ruinous mistake.” God this ties in so well to our discussion of Silver believing his own bullshit. It’s almost as though he learned the wrong lesson from Flint and became more accomplished at lying to himself as the story goes on. Or perhaps those untruths just kept piling up. 

So very true. Honestly, I think so much of it is due to Silver letting himself get too comfortable in the little bubble he’d created for himself. And I feel so awful for him, because it was always going to have to pop in the end. He’s always been so good at reading people and at manipulating situations for his own gain, and he seemed to be incredibly honest with himself (and others) about his own failings and limitations, and those things are fine when nobody depends on you and you don’t depend on anybody else. But as soon as he developed loyalties and relationships, and with them wants and needs that he couldn’t provide for himself alone (love and friendship and respect), it suddenly wasn’t very convenient to be honest with himself about his own shortcomings or the things which the only two members of the John Silver’s People Club would value as more important than him. Because I completely believe he valued(/still values?) them more than anything else in the entire world. It’s such a horrible imbalance to face honestly and accept.

2.“Not much slips by Flint” lmao except a big cache full of gems on his own damn ship. Sorry I just had to bring that up. I feel like that was one of those leaps of faith the show expects us to take, and I just can’t. I still can’t believe Flint didn’t know the cache was on board the Walrus.

Mm, I know what you mean. Though I can make it work in my own head. Flint is such a micro-manager, but he has been far more relaxed this season in general. I mean, he went off on his little Fortress B&B break with Eleanor and trusted Silver to make everything work in his absence, with no plan given. But that’s part of the problem. Even if Silver was wrong about Flint’s investment in their friendship, and in his assertion that it was only a convenience insofar as it helped him to use Silver to have things done his way…Flint kind of still did that, a little bit. Flint loves him, I have no doubt, but he put so much faith in the idea that Silver would see his way as right and fall in line that it made him blind to the daylight that was growing between them. He was still doing it on that damn island when he was talking to Dooley. I can buy that he didn’t know the chest was on board, because he truly hadn’t made room in his head for the possibility that Silver would go against him in that way. So he let his plan fall into place, as his plans always fell into place with Silver by his side, without noticing that Silver wasn’t with him in the way he thought. Poor Flint. Like we said, speaking of masters of blinding oneself to dangerous truths…

3.“I wonder though how much he was motivated by pride in that moment, or anger, or even just vulnerability.” Honestly Laura just let me rEST. You have a Flint-like way of cutting straight to the heart of a scene or action. We (you) covered Silver’s vulnerability (god so vulnerable–remember when he left the hilltop when Flint asked about his past? He sounded SO young and broken as he went gosh. I’m pretty emotional over his emotions.) but I really want to address the others. Because I actually had some thoughts concerning his pride. He always made a point to set himself apart from the men and claim freedom from Flint’s influence (“You will account for me;” “I don’t believe in him”). I think once there was a break in their relationship (once daylight could seep between them) all Billy’s and Hands’s warnings fueled his determination perhaps to disprove them or maybe just to prove to himself that he can still hold his own with Flint and not be moved, even to the point of ignoring logic (John, why :’( ). And I’m thinking these conflicting, complex emotions feed into each other? Like maybe the anger also stems from the vulnerability, the perceived betrayal–is a reaction to being hurt. Anger is an easy emotion, and to someone who is new to emotions like Silver, I imagine it’s simpler to embrace. I mean, remember his face at the end of the episode? He’s so in love (romantic, platonic, whatever I don’t care); he’s in awe of this thing between them. This is his first (at least that we see) important relationship. The feelings are mutual, that’s what he says, and for him to feel like Flint broke his first foray into attachment, of course he’s going to be hurt. 

I suddenly have that scene from Pride and Prejudice playing in the back of my mind and it’s the worst. (”Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty…”, “My pride?”, “…in admitting scruples about our relationship…”, “…from the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realise that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.” *cue sexual tension so thick you could spread it on toast*) Oh, pride. You know, come to think of it, we were told right at the beginning of the episode that pride should not be a thing that ought to come between them at this point, and I imagine that wasn’t accidental. 

I think you’re completely right about the influence of Billy and Hands’s words. However that pride is framed (either being for Silver’s own peace of mind, or to prove the point to them), having that ‘mistake’ seen by them, and commented on constantly, must have had some effect on his impulse to prove he could even the score and show just how very invulnerable he really was to Flint. I think he’s probably almost as angry with them for pointing it out and making it ‘a thing’ as he is with Flint for giving rise to it. I’ve wondered a lot, actually, just how this season would have gone without the corrupting influence of Hands. He really has been an evil little snake, whispering the things that should only ever have been thought by Silver, not said aloud. I suppose that was his purpose really. To give voice to those things that we as the audience needed to hear, but which wouldn’t normally be spoken. He’s almost been as much a narrative device to show Silver’s state of mind as those S3 dreams were for Flint. 

What you say about Silver’s complex emotions feeding into easier ones, like anger, sounds exactly right too. I’ve been kind of viewing Silver as a bit of a teenager in a lot of respects this season, and that fits in with that view. Flint was totally his first foray into attachment, yeah, and Silver does definitely love him in his way - he’s basically experiencing his first break up, and it’s a brutal, world-shattering one. He’s so inexperienced with feelings (seemingly deliberately, as one of those suddenly inconvenient lines of defence - fuck do I empathise with him there), and so like a teenager his reaction to big feelings that he doesn’t know how to quantify or cope with is to boil them down to easier ones, like anger and hurt, and to express them through spite and cruelty and self-pity. He’s a goddamn mess, but I don’t think he’d know how to stop everything from spiralling, even if he wanted to. Flint might though, if he’d only stop raging long enough to listen to him. 

(And don’t even get me started on Luke Arnold and his freakish ability to de-age himself by about 10 years in the blink of an eye. He’s looked and sounded so young several times this season, and every single time it’s broken me. I could write a whole essay just on that.)

One final thought I had regarding the narrative of Flint and Silver’s relationship is that though they frame it as the war vs Madi, as soon as Flint took the cache, the conflict became him vs Madi. And the fandom had some compelling arguments that the writers weren’t going to be that predictable, but they really were and. That’s probably the most disappointing. Like I didn’t find the episode disappointing but this season as a whole, while not bad, has not been up to parr. Anyway sorry for the incoherent jumble. But I truly love how you process Silver. 

I’ve had this thought too. All of last week I was worrying that there would be no rug-pull and that their division really would be as simple as it seemed, and I was ready to be so disappointed by that…but then episode 9 was so damn good that I kind of forgot to be annoyed. And I still can’t quite find it in me to pick holes yet. I don’t know how it will all stand up to rewatches, but I agree with you, I think. In comparison to most tv, S4 has still been something special (in my eyes), but there have definitely been things that seemed a little rushed or contrived. I suppose the writers felt that they didn’t have enough story left for two more seasons, but what they had was still too much for just one. Perhaps a final season of 12 or 15 episodes would have worked a little better, and given all the storylines and relationships a little more space to breathe. As it stands though, the thing I’ve always loved most about this show is the characters, and I think for the most part they’ve been as well written and thoughtfully developed this season as in the past three, so I’m willing to overlook a few more bumps in the storytelling than normal. And I’m just so glad that the pieces have finally fallen into place for everyone else to ‘see’ Silver again too, because it’s started to feel a little lonely in the John Silver Defence Squad lately. 

This got ENORMOUS. But I’ve had fun answering it! I am not ready to let these pirates go. :( I think they’re going to live in my head for a very, very long time. (I’m at least 40% John Silver at this point. Maybe more.) Someone carve ‘Know no shame’ on my tombstone, please.

#I'm tagging you as #John Silver's People Club anon #:)