#until he cuts himself off

[cityandking]

4, 18, 22, 45

thanks!! I'll do this for both my inquisitors // questions for your inquisitor

4: Alliance with the Mages or the Templars? Explain why.

VESPER — conscripted the templars. as she understood things, they needed something to stop the breech but they also needed some way to stop the fighting, and in her eyes the fighting was the greater danger. conscript the templars and suddenly the inquisition has the men and forces to pause the conflict, to take stock, to see the mages safely out of redcliffe. funny thing about fighting someone with time magic: even before you begin, you're too late NARAYANI — allied with the mages. fiona came personally to val royeaux to ask her to come to redcliffe, and narayani has always been sensitive to the plight of other people the chantry sees as lesser. she's a big mage's rights activist in that specific way of people who don't know what it's like in the circles. and no way in hell was she going to make them bend the knee, so alliance it was. (the way the inner circle reacted to that choice didn't endear her to most of them).

18: What does your Inquisitor think about “the Game”? Would they participate in it? Did they enjoy the time at the Winter Palace?

VESPER — her mother was orlesian and her eldest sister married an orlesian so she had some understanding of the viper's nest of orlesian politics. she despises it, but once you get past the murder and whatnot it's alarmingly similar to navigating the college factions in the circles, which is a comparison she's sure would have plenty turning in their graves. still, she has no desire to participate in the game and did not enjoy being at the winter palace, feeling like a bug under a hundred spyglasses NARAYANI — hates it. hates the game hates the shem hates the pretense hates how openly they despise her. but their fear is useful, and if playing well can position her to make use of their fear and their power and their doubt, then she'll grit her teeth and bear the insults and play the long game to crush them under her heel.

22: Which person did they involve themselves with and what drew them to that particular person? Did they go through a change of heart or did they remain at the person’s side?

VESPER — cullen! it was an incredibly slow burn of restrained coworkership to tired camaraderie to mutual respect to liking to trust to friendship to understanding to support to more. vesper liked his sense of humor and how much he cared about people and how hard he tried to do and be better. they took a long time to figure their stuff out (idc about canon timelines; in vesper's worldstate it takes at least 2 years to get through the main game) but they were solidly in each other's corner by the time they put a label on their relationship and really went for it NARAYANI — solas. at first it was just enjoying the company of someone she felt she could speak to without judgement. and she liked his stories—she's always been the sort to fly far from the fold and he had the same curiosity about the world. she liked his sense of humor too, and the sly observation's he'd make about their companions—it felt a little like being in on a joke, all the time. and he clearly liked her back; he could hardly hide it. she didn't realize how far in they were until it was much too late, but she liked how deep they were, how much he cared, how much he wanted—enough to overcome his own wariness. it felt so so nice to be wanted for herself in the middle of a world that wanted her to be someone—something—else. she'd have stuck with him through anything. if she finds him again.... well, jury's out. she still might. hard to say what she'll have left in the world that's worth saving. she doesn't get with anyone else after the breakup

45: Herb Garden or Chantry Garden? Templar Tower or Mage Tower? Infirmary or Practice Ground?

VESPER — herb garden, mage tower, infirmary NARAYANI — herb garden, mage tower, practice ground

#thanks!! #feeling So normal about the solasmance and how it's always solas reaching back for lavellan #until he cuts himself off #ooooooh it's so good. yeah. #memery #vesper #narayani

[turtleblogatlast]

The fact that Leo can go literally anywhere on earth to be alone with his thoughts at a single moment’s notice is something that shakes around in my head all the time. Like, portals and teleportation are amazing and convenient abilities both in and out of battle, but they could also so easily be used to run away as well.

I don’t think Leo ever would, at least not most of the time. He loves his family too much, and is too dependent on their love and attention to cut himself off so suddenly like that, but it’s a very real possibility nonetheless.

It’s a good thing Leo’s overall temper is more on the mild side and he prefers going to his room or something to complete solitude, because it really is dangerous for a kid to have the ability to isolate themselves like that at their fingertips.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #and like #it doesn’t even have to be on purpose either #anything could happen where Leo goes out to travel real quick somewhere and suddenly he can’t get back #sure Donnie has the trackers but trackers only do so much when the one you’re tracking is across the globe #that one short of Leo ending up trapped hanging off the Eiffel Tower all alone when he’s still new to portaling #is actually a bit terrifying when viewed through a more serious adult lens #don’t mind me just doing what I like to do best aka think about Leo and his abilities #I’m still saying tho that his abilities make running away so easily #and he’s quite good at that #even if he’s physically there his MASK lets him run away from truly processing unwanted situations or conversations #imagine Draxum telling the boys about the other hidden cities and Leo takes it upon himself to go scout them out #and he does so going around and letting his bros know of the cities he finds here and there #only to end up in one that cuts off foreign mystic energy #like imagine being suddenly cut off and alone #this ability can be SO USEFUL up until it’s cut off midway and suddenly uh oh it’s horrifying

[ride-a-dromedary]

Again I know it's supposed to be a haha reference to the turns into a bear when he's too aroused thing, but in again refusing to brush just over the surface of this character: "I must be careful or I'll lose run of myself again. An Archdruid should show *some* restraint." comes across to me as more melancholy than perhaps intended when a. You take it into consideration that several lines imply that Halsin has issues with self control and self servitude, and presenting an "acceptable" version of himself as an outwards facing authority figure, to the point where he brushes over his own feelings, or pushes things that he wants down in the effort to reflect better what others want from him.

And b. Remember that Halsin was essentially just an apprentice when he was forcibly situationally promoted to Archdruid - he wasn't taught *how* to be an Archdruid or trained for it, or mentored; he was thrust into it because they didn't have any other choice. But they needed someone, so he stepped up. Halsin has spent the last century studying and learning things on the fly or through trial and error, and in a position of leadership like that, he is aware that every failure to uphold that mask *counts* and others *are* very much affected. How many times has he muttered that same mantra? Or heard it thrown around? An Archdruid not having control over their own magic is a big deal. Even when he is no longer Archdruid, he still grumbles it to himself. He's been at it over a century and he *still* doesn't feel like he's gotten it right. Even when he is in a place of progression, of trying to gain hold of himself again, those wisps of failure and self doubt still creep into everything. And that's sad to me.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #haha funny line in response to saucy line that man is about to go feral ooh se- HEY TRAUMA #it's like a med student being promoted to the head of emergency #or an admin assistant suddenly being put in a ceo role #like i know it's a meme scene!! but halsin sounds *humilated* when he accidentally wildshapes during his romance scene #he sounds flustered and embarrassed and is so quickly launching off excuses with a tone that indicates *he thinks it's over* #like he fucked up he fucked this up just when he was *starting* to come into himself again and it never stops #i keep thinking of that one lyric from big thief 'i can't find surrender/and i can't keep control' #and again i'm reading too deep into it but halsin's struggle with failure really is embedded here you just have to...like listen to him #Even when he *says* that there's little point in denying oneself #he does it literally all the time - he did it for a *century* #and i'm not saying he doesn't have fun or not enjoy things but he cuts himself off so early at the root #or buries himself so thoroughly in a self indulgence until it wrecks him and neither of these things are healthy #note that he says as long as others aren't affected - he doesn't say as long as i'm not affecting *myself* #anyway i'm unwell #maybe i was never meant to be archdruid - you weren't! you were meant to protect nature's spirit and roam with the wilds #and yet he still did the best he could and people *admire* him and followed him but he may never come to see it that way #you ruined a perfectly good wood elf - look it's got trauma and anxiety (and larian turned him into a meme and i won't forgive them)

[hella1975]

we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡

#IM TRYINGGGGG. the fuck of it all is that we've been going on dates on and off for WEEKS now #and i said to him at the start im not looking for anything serious and there's a chance he might be mugging himself off #bc i am just NOT emotionally available and low and behold we were at the pub the other night and wound up having a pretty #serious talk about how ive really liked getting closer to him and i genuinely enjoy our time together but i just cant see anything #serious coming of it NOT BC OF HIM BC GENUINELY I FEEL LIKE IVE MET MY MATCH WITH THIS BOY #NO ONE IRL CAN BANTER WITH ME LIKE HE CAN AND THAT IS SUCHHH A CRUCIAL BOX TO TICK WITH ME #but i just dont think im mentally or emotionally in the place for a relationship and i dont like him ENOUGH to fight for it #like it's been v illuminating v much that 'you never realise just how mentally ill you are until you try persuing a romantic relationship' #bc DAMN. i feel insane like why cant i just be normal about things and enjoy nice things and people in my life #BUT despite me saying all this to him and TRYING NOT TO BE THE ASSHOLE he has fully admitted that he likes me SO MUCH #that he'd like to keep going on dates and stuff regardless of the end result. like he genuinely just likes my company #and will take it in any capacity he can get he literally SAID that he's whipped for me 😭 #and im like HOW DO I WIN HERE. IF I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT IM AN ASSHOLE BUT CUTTING HIM OFF ISNT FAIR EITHER #AND I LIKE OUR LITTLE DATES AND BEING SPOILED AND HAVING SOMEONE BE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH ME #SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD GUY. GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING #ughhhhhhh. so yeah we're going on another date tonight. shoot me i dont care!!!! #hella goes to uni

[collieii]

i'm gonna be honest if i see one more person saying "he just wanted to live peacefully with his brother 🥺" about stampede knives i will not be responsible for what i do next

#if you can't accept his canon genocide gtfo!! #obviously idc if ppl like him but the way some ppl just gloss over like...everything abt his character #taking knives away from you until you learn how to play w him correctly #millions knives #trigun stampede #trigun #ok tbf stampede does make knives. more sympathetic(ish) (despite how many more graphic murders he commits on screen than other knives) #if i remember right in trimax they didnt rly push 'knives is obsessed w vash' very much #stampede did most of that so ik theres a reason ppl say it and its not necessarily wrong but like. still #guys. he cut off his arm. he threatens and hurts all the ppl vash cares about. and vash himself. #he doesn't respect vash or his choices at all. like. #beginning to think he doesnt actually care abt his brother in a meaningful way... #.lieii

[scoliosisgoblin]

Peter and Jay doodles feat. T.K. and Lucy (headcanons for what I think they'd look like as humans.. gonna change their designs though)

#Jay during his adjustment period of moving in with Peter would be super mean (unintentionally) but loving towards Rat ofc #by mean i mean he's more likely to insult Peter or isolate himself in his room and such #not cause he hates him no no no he's just mad he was knocked out and was locked up in the house #when they talked about it Jay just spoke about how he didn't feel like Peter trusted him all that much #cause he would've said yes to moving in and he wouldn't run off if he were allowed outside #the end of night 4 (?) where he'd end up tied in the basement happens around a week after being moved in #he'd be terrified until Peter spoke. he'd probably try to crawl towards him. to be comforted or something. #he'd hardly care for the knife. say he loves Peter. he'd be horrified to see Peter's cuts though #after it all he'd scold at Peter as he cleaned up his wounds. he'd call him stupid a bunch. he'd cry too probably #and after handling Peter with care he'd just wet his own wound and dab it with toilet paper. he wouldn't care if it were still bleeding #they'd sleep together after that like just lay in Jay's room cuddling #Jay waking up earlier than Peter to make waffles for him #stay tuned for when I make more doodles and give little fun facts about them and their relationship #until next time ig idk #my art #void #Jay #Jacob #Your boyfriend #your boyfriend peter #Yb game #your boyfriend game #Yb peter #peter dunbar

[camels-pen]

(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)

I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.

On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"

With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-

for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)

skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa

I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.

(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)

the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-

and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"

Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."

Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"

And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"

"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."

And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.

He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.

Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq

#one piece #usopp #whole cake island #nemotime #that bit in bege's castle isn't exactly how it would go. just kinda. trying to get the vibe. also it's wayyy too short lol #the sanuso bit can be platonic or romantic. originally when i was gonna write out this idea a while ago i was thinking romantic with my #'they get engaged/married b4 dressrosa' au but tbh platonic works just as good #im- these guys man. i hate them so much (affectionate) #i'll get to rereading whole cake and finding a way to put him in there but for now. this. #if anyone's got other ideas im all ears #edit from like march 7: thinking about this again #maybe usopp being silent is an indicator for sanji that usopp's really fucking disappointed or shocked or w/e #but for usopp himself it's like being back in water 7. he doesn't even mean to be silent. he's got words built up on the tip of his tongue #but none of them come out. and despite sanji being Right There all he wants to do in that moment. is run. #at the very least he stays and watches the whole confrontation through. but afterwards he probably feels like shit #because he's the guy who's great with words right? he's the guy that can relate the most out of the group who went to WCI. he should be abl #to make a significant difference and help convince sanji to come home. but he feels like he failed. like he's going to lose another friend #and it's going to be all his fault. (again) #[not really. we all know merry wasn't his fault but we love old insecurities rearing their head in this house] #later he'd probably end up saying the words he wanted to say. and maybe it's better that way. that he ended up waiting #until luffy's had a proper shot at scolding sanji first. because then usopp can act as support and reinforcement. which. yknow. #a sniper's duty and all #anyway i got other shit to do so i'm cutting myself off here #wci usopp

[raayllum]

RAYLLUM S4 MEME:  scenes [3/6] 4x09, “escape from umber tor”

I have to go after him. I know.

#rayllum #rayllumedit #caylangst #s4 #s4 meme #graphics #arc 2 #my edits #colouring this scene is a nightmare and yet i must persist #personal fave #tag ramble #first off the call back this is to 2x07 and 4x01 is masterful but that'll be an edit & ramble for another day but #the way somber music plays. the way rayla is more off kilter than ever bc she only has One blade to begin with #the way callum lets her even tho the place is coming down but it's not like he Leaves either!! he just #Stands there and Watches her go until he almost dies / is crushed by rocks #bc he's testing himself he's seeing if he can Let Go #now that he realizes she Hasn't changed the way he hoped (look at his surprise when it cuts to his face) #and that he can't change what he both loves about her and what infuriates him about her more than anything #and the hand over heart!! the unconditional love!! the heartbreak. the cycle. #the way of after a season of looking away from her he looks away and then looks Back like GOD #put this scene on my gravestone

[eleneressea]

Fëanor finding out about Maedhros's hand and nearly fist-fighting Fingon in the streets before someone explains the rest of the story

#feanor #maedhros #fingon #love the thought that feanor hears 'fingon cut off maedhros's hand' and nothing else until he's yelled himself hoarse #feanor has never in his life let someone get a word in edgeways while he's ranting and he's not about to start now

[grovekeepers]

robin <3 i'd love to hear about robins own, personal views on his sex and gender, please!

Thanks for the ask, Fray!! (answering it gives me something to do while i wait for the electricity to come back on!)

I'm putting this under a cut, because I've been typing for a while now and I feel like this'll be a long one. I will add that I'm briefly mentioning an eating disorder under the cut, in case you or anyone else wants to back out of reading that.

For the longest time Robin didn't really have any views on his sex or gender. He had a lot going on as a neurodivergent kid/teen due to poverty and, well, the repressed queerness; was just out there functioning/surviving somehow and was in general just pretty miserable all around, so any discomfort about his gender identity/expression was just part of a big heap of everyday sensory overload. There really wasn't time for him to focus on or take a closer look at himself much, and besides, he wouldn't have known the terms needed to put it into words.

He developed a bunch of unhealthy coping mechanisms about All Of That (drugs, sex, an eating disorder, ...) and really spiralled for a while until he met this man called Murdoc, who sort of became a mentor to him, and set him straight again.

And if Murdoc's one thing, it's perceptive.

So while Robin and him travelled together for a while, he provided him with the space he needed to just take a breather for once. Maybe express himself for once. And the option to talk about his feelings instead of having to bottle them up. And most importantly, since his wife Cynthia is a trans woman, he taught him the terms he needed to put all that dysphoria related turmoil he had going on into words.

So really, up until that point Robin hadn't thought about it much. Not thinking about it meant not having to deal with it, he was just hoping all those weird feelings, whatever they are, would go away one day. But of course they wouldn't have if he'd just continued to keep on going like that.

Now that he'd talked those feelings through with someone and then went on to change up his gender presentation, though, things got a hell of a lot easier. Murdoc used the right pronouns for him, called him by the name they'd chosen together (one of his favorite wildshapes to use to spy on people is an odd looking robin, and they both decided it's a nice fit), and after a while of that, Robin began to cook up medicine (cough, testosterone) that would change his body.

And all of a sudden he just felt GOOD about himself for once. His body wasn't just existing to carry him through the days anymore, instead he actively liked looking at it. His voice didn't hurt his ears anymore, it just sounded right. There was growth and hair in the right places and muscles where there used to be softness that he'd previously tried to get rid of by starving himself down to the bones.

See, and only then is when he started to really develop views on his gender and sex.

He is and always was, by all definitions of the word, a bisexual man, even when he was still blocking out the thought and just hoping for the dysphoria to go away on its own. Gender non-conforming (if he can wear them in a masculine way, he still wears many of his old clothes because he can't afford new ones for example, and he's insanely fond of jewelry, be that piercings, earrings, rings, bracelets, ankle bracelets, waist chains, etc) and somewhat gentler than other men he's gotten to know so far, sure, but really not all that different. Transitioning, to him, was like a lifeline he didn't know he needed extended to him, but now that he's gotten a hold of it, he wouldn't ever let it go.

Masculinity can be expressed in very many ways, and his way of expressing it is being forceful like rumbling thunder and strong like a centuries old oak that you can shelter underneath. He'll bear the brunt of the storm for you and keep you safe. And when it's over, and you open your eyes, rather than the lashing rain, you'll see the beauty of the sun's first rays shining through the greenest leaves you've ever seen, while their warmth caresses you.

(One thing I'll say (and it is really just more of a game-related issue) is that his in-game model looks pretty unchanged in terms of testosterone changes even after all the mods I installed to get him a little closer looking to himself. It does unfortunately have a lot of people jumping to the conclusion that he's some flavor of non-binary or futch/butch (and leaving comments that make ME dysphoric at the end of the day lmfao), when in reality, looking at him would not really differentiate him from a cis man and I'm simply limited by the game. There is no room to doubt his gender if going off "traditional" (binary) characteristics. He does bind his chest sometimes, and he usually wears his clothes in a way that covers/hides the shape of what's underneath. Funny enough, I am currently working on a painting of him and I'm kinda hyped about the absolute physical likeness I'm achieving with it, so I'm adding a little WIP!!)

#bg3 #ask #there is so much more that weighs into his gender expression #he's biracial and one way or another that does also influence it somewhat #growing up cut off from his infernal heritage and avoiding it because of it being the root cause of generational trauma #definitely also influences his understanding of masculinity #but all in all he wasn't really thinking about his gender and sex much until someone nudged him towards exploring it #after they caught on to him being uncomfortable with himself #and from then on he really fell in love with himself #is the tl;dr of it #without the an*rexia talk that's under the cut #i'm sorry if this is all disjointed i have been typing for like an hour lmfao #i'm also not sure if going into the horniness of it all is a wise move on a fandom blog so i'm keeping this as a footnote pretty much #but now that he's more comfortable in his body he's definitely enjoying that whole corner a lot more too and he's also very secure in that #department #and you can tell. like he has a certain devilish charm about him that was entirely repressed before he transitioned #big ole confident flirt

[jrueships]

yes. often. i think diggs Every day of My Life (/neg) (/unfortunate) (/nonpos)

i-

#I #....I WILL GET BACK TO THIS- #when i saw the first part i thought the second would be smthing funny and lighthearted or angsty 😭 #like yes i do think diggs prints and tapes a picture of josh allen to his scratching post and scratches it every day #or yes i do think diggs shake he him manic pixie dream girl ass #yes i do think diggs secretly hates himself wholly and thinks hes too damaged beyond repair completely #but is scared of admitting that overall fault out loud so he purposefully tries to heighten certain aspects negative #so others can look more tolerable in comparison while also noting how he Is a piece of shit #like every other person #but not a Total piece of shit #hes addicted to the feel of false hope but every time he gets close to achieving that adjective finally cut off the word #he sabotages it bcs hes afraid he'll grab it then never wanna let go until hes so high up he'll die from the fall #so he just clenches onto it like a clingy kid with a balloon until it loses helium and crumples miserably to the ground #but at least he doesnt have to be the one falling so far this time #i think diggs #i think diggs... often #i will answer this 😭 soon #(like what i have to do with a lot of asks 😭😭 im sorry ive been busy making paper 😎 hustle 💯 🔥) #(i wanna *ms) #i just wantdd to share this wonderful message with. the World #consider me gracious and amazing #much like the ask bcs WHEW #there is some THINGS to unpack here #thank u this is amazing. dissecting it into teeny tiny pieces then even teenier.. tinier pieces after that

[itafushin]

Do you have headcanons about macaque's recovering process from bpd and his copying skills (like about holding back extreme emotions or apathy, how does he regularly motivates himself to keep healing and so on)?

thats honestly a really good question...strap in, its a long one

macaque is definitely prone to bad spirals and bad episodes, as evident in the show, and he tends to internalize a lot of it and lash out in aggression. because of that i feel like starting the healing process was really hard for him. with lbd off his back and a lot more free time, im sure he thought alot about the things he did in the last few centuries. he probably stayed holed up in his dojo for a good while after the lbd stuff and just...thought. all that thinking led to spirals and breakdowns and he spent that time crying more than hes ever cried in his life. but afterwards i think he felt fine, stagnant even, and thats when he finally decided he could move on.

its hard giving up your fp and if hes anything like me im sure he didnt want to let go. he didnt want to break off those ties he had with wukong because those were familiar, safe. he fell back onto bad habits a lot, (i headcanon that he has s/h stims and he pulls on his fur when hes really stressed which adds to his bald spots), and found himself in spots where he felt the urge to go and fight wukong again, like before. during times like these his shadows are actually really helpful ! they help ground him and im sure rumble and savage help talk him through his breakdowns when theyre alone together. they help drive him to keep going, i think, because they know as well as he does that he needs this.

i think mk is another big motivator for macaque too, if not the biggest. he cares about mk so much, way more than he was ever expecting to, and i think he does hold some guilt and remorse about the way he treated mk. he wants to repair their relationship and actually become friends in the genuine way that mks friends with everyone else. and mac knows he cant get that if hes still holding onto the past, ya know. he wants to be someone mk could go to when wukong isn't available (he makes that...very very clear its honestly a little endearing) so i think he always thinks about mk while hes going through the process of healing.

and honestly, repairing his friendship with wukong could be something of a motivator too. he wants them to have something thats normal, im assuming, and maybe thats why he hangs around ffm still. but its also a little bit of a bittersweet memory of sorts, to see everything still as it was. to see bits of him still there.

with the holding back extreme emotions, macaque is the type to bottle everything up util he explodes. which isnt...healthy AJVKSKCJ i think overtime and mk exposure showed him its okay to feel those things...its okay to cry and to be upset and to just. be a person...obviously he only ever lets himself feel those things in the privacy of his dojo but hey, at least its something !

he does have set backs, as everyone does because healing isnt linear, and he still has days where its almost like hes back to being that hard-headed smartass trying to kill everyone...but i think now its a bit easier to deal with those days because he has a support system. he has people to rely on that wont shun him away, even if things are rocky between them all. but hes trying and he'll keep trying because as much as he lets it on, i dont think he actually enjoys being alone as much.

#🏮 #shadow talks #I HOPE THIS ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION ANON #alot of my headcanons and thoughts about bpd macaque are big big projections so if you squint reeeeeeally hard #youll figure out how /i/ deal with my bpd #its hard on macaque i think. to deal with this #its a lot of baggage to carry but hes getting there #its all in the baby steps #i dont think he cut off his fp relationship with wukong until the very end actually...i think he works on finding himself first #because cutting that kind of relationship even if in order to replace it with something else is so so hard and so so soul crushing #i think macaque wanted to keep wukong as close as possible even if it was one sided just in case he didnt like who he found in place #of himself #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk macaque #lmk mk #lmk wukong #the six eared macaque

[dirt-str1der]

That fanart of kiryu getting fingerblasted and he’s wearing nothing but his watch always makes me so fucking horny i was to explode

#Yakuza loveblog #his pussy !!! his pussy !!!!!! #his pussy .... he was also sitting with his legs spread like how bears do. which is also how i imagine saejima sitting when hes getting #eaten out. but also like his pussy .... and his boxers hanging off one ankle im going to faint #sorry i am not entirely coherent today ive been sleeping so damn much basically i am fucked #what the fuck we’re fucked. ive also been watching horror games and i want to put him into another saw trap ... #what shall i make him cut off this time .... god i wish i could make him become the squirrel stapler but kiryu is such a city boy its not #even funny like he talks about wanting a house on the beach but if you look at him hes in town buying groceries and getting into street #brawls this is why nightmare forest was just a dream its because he would never be caught im a forest he should be on the streets kiryu #will never go camping even if he gets locked out of his house he will fall asleep sitting on the stairwell or a park bench #anyway i self ship with him in the way that im the flayed corpse he has chsined to the wall of his bedroom and hes the guy slowly going craz #as hes forced to breathe in the scent of my rot until he gets crazy enough to start stapling mice and rats on my flesh #rat stapler au but instead of meeting god kriyu kills himself by jaywalking while drunk looking for rats amd the police never find my body

[jaded-ghoster]

headcanon that’s similar to class 1-A not recognizing Present Mic when his hair is down except it’s in a world where Aizawa never slacks off on his hero costume ever like the rest of the teachers. So he is never seen without his scarf covering everything from the mouth down, his goggles hiding his eyes, and his hair obscuring a good portion of the rest of his face. So when Kamino rolls around and his full face is exposed during the press conference and assuming their voice recognition skills aren’t top notch class 1-A is just like no idea who you are dude but thanks for your support

#i like to think this partly extends to all might too #since he’s so new to UA #all might just glancing over at Nezu while aizawa is giving his little Kamino press conference speech like #‘…is he allowed to be here?’ #‘did we disclose that information to outsiders?’ #and then this went all the way up until they asked parents for dorm permissions #all might side eying the random man in a suit until aizawa introduces himself to the parents like hi i am your child’s teacher #as for class 1-A who knows when they find out #like we’ve never seen him in a suit ever again #i think shinsou knows since he did training with aizawa when his hair was up #but as for the rest of them i think they’d have to wait until eri forcibly rips off aizawa’s scarf and goggles and shoves a santa hat on his #head and says trick or treat let’s cut the turkey #i’m so tired rn #mha headcanons #mha #bnha #shouta aizawa #mha aizawa

[coachbeards]

wild thing abt that clip is that when his hallucinations say that he doesn’t accept the love and support of the people around him, beard actually looks around

#now I obviously have a lot of thoughts abt this lmaoooo #because beard DIDNT WANT TO FIGHT. he tried to get away! he tried to dissuade james into letting him leave #he tried to open that escape door and get out of there #but his brain is trying to convince him he actually wanted this. when it’s shown he didn’t. #sure he tried to escape but he actually wanted to get hurt. yes whenever he asks for help it’s denied but it’s his fault for not accepting #the love and support. the support he struggles to see #it’s also interesting to note when beard cuts off his hallucinations with telling them to shut up #bc he lets them talk. he lets them say those things but there’s a line they’ll cross that’ll get him to actually try to silence them #he lets them talk in his flat but then they say I Hate Coach Bearr #(his brain telling him that) #in bones and honey he lets them talk but then when they say he’d need a pep talk to k*ll himself THATS when he shuts them up #and here? thierry says. im beginning to think Coach beard hates himself #like he lets them talk until there’s ONE line that’s a breaking point

[scribefindegil]

finally had enough energy to subject myself to manga confession arc and god!!! i love Mob Psycho!!!!

#time to go back and find all the close analyses of the mob & shigeo conversations #that i didn't want to read until i'd seen the manga version #and am now Ready To Cry About #y'all were not kidding about the bit where shigeo/???% gently cups mob's face in his hands #he wants so badly to just be ACKNOWLEDGED #to have mob admit that his powers have helped him--have saved him!!--so many times #but mob can't do it yet because he's too afraid #god. just #the themes of loneliness #the way mob has shut down and ignored and demonized this part of himself #everyone in mp100 is so lonely but ???% is the most lonely of them all #isolated and cut off even from the person he's a part of #he has NOTHING #no wonder he lashes out #i'm so happy that reigen's confession finally allows mob to extend himself the compassion he's shown to everyone else #i am. gonna cry about it. #mp100