eleneressea

[eleneressea]

The difference between a dry nurse and a healer

It's interesting how at a glance these two roles appear similar, and how Eowyn fiercely rejects the first yet embraces the latter, and what's more is vindicated in the narrative for rejecting the first, yet is celebrated for accepting the latter. So to understand Eowyn's arc, it's important to look at the differences between a dry nurse and a healer.

Eowyn states herself she is not a dry nurse. Gandalf points out to Eomer that part of Eowyn's depression comes from her having been forced into the role of dry nurse. And in his own commentary, Tolkien says that Eowyn isn't a dry nurse by nature. So that's the character, the in-narrative voice of reason, and the writer himself all saying that Eowyn is very much not a dry nurse.

Now, what is a dry nurse, and how does that differ from healer? A dry nurse nurses. Seeing as that was Eowyn's role with her uncle, we can presume that to be a dry nurse was to be like a carer, someone who takes care of a person and tends to them on a day to day basis. Eowyn's role wasn't to cure her uncle, but to make him comfortable and support him as best as she can.

This was a role that was foisted on Eowyn unwillingly, for she was a woman, and there's a prevalent idea that women are just "inherent carers", that is comes more easily to them and that this is is there natural role. That emotional burden, that denial of other choices, isn't seen as an injustice to Eowyn until Gandalf spells it out to Eomer at the end, because as a woman that's just what she's suited for. She shouldn't have wanted something else, and if she did, it meant she was either lacking in something, selfish or defective.

This all came at the expense of her own personhood, and so she ended up feeling like the "staff" Theoden leant on. She was his living crutch, and this dehumanisation played a massive part in her depression, which was made worse by Grima's influence.

For all that LOTR is a fantastical setting, Eowyn's plight was very grounded and applicable to modern day. As her uncle's carer, her life revolved around his needs and wellbeing, she was stuck in the home because she couldn't leave him alone, and her own hopes, her own dreams, ambitions and desires were put aside as of lesser consequence. And because she's a woman, and therefore naturally inclined and suited for all this, she should have felt alright with this, and any resentment on her part is a sign that there was something wrong with her.

She was isolated and stagnant and she felt she couldn't even speak of her resentment because it was her duty to tend to her uncle, (Gandalf tells Eomer that Eowyn didn't share much of her feelings because of the duty she felt to him), and all of this left her vulnerable to Grima's emotional abuse. This situation can so easily be transplanted into modern day.

Being a carer is a really difficult job, tending to both the physical and emotional needs of another person. It's emotionally draining and challenging and it's all the harder when it's a family member, as that doesn't allow you some of the distance and space that professional carers have, as well as a life outside work which allows you to enjoy other pursuits and interests.

It's a hard enough job for professional carers who genuinely feel a calling for it, who choose that role and find satisfaction in it and have a chance to decompress and lead lives of their own away from their work, but Eowyn never felt such a calling, and caring for Theoden wasn't her job but her life. Her life had been dedicated to tending to the needs of a single other person. And all the while she cared for him, she knew she couldn't heal him or prevent the awful things happening to her country. She wasn't a person, but a tool, and in her mind, a tool of limited ability.

No wonder she yearned to go and die gloriously. Her life was no life, and yet with a glorious death she could reclaim something for herself, exist in the songs as her own being with her own deeds. She could live on after her death as she has never lived in life.

In life, she could only watch as her brother and cousin and peers got to leave Edoras, where she was caged and hopeless, and go out and do stuff, with the ties of comradeship to support them. Already, without Grima's influence, it would have been easy for Eowyn to hate herself for her seeming uselessness, to resent the world and her society for shutting her into that role, and to hate herself for hating her role, for it meant she was a failure as a woman and a niece.

Compare that to the role of the healer. A healer, by its very definition, heals things. It fixes things. A healer can't always succeed, but that is the healer's goal. To heal.

Now, we don't know specifically what Eowyn meant by being a healer, whether she literally meant she wanted to train in the healing arts, to learn how to set bones, clean wounds, perform surgery or cure sickness, or if she meant she wanted to live a lifestyle given over to healing the world around her (her new home Ithilien needs clearing of orcs, is a military outpost, and and lies near Minas Morgul, so there is much to be healed there, with a sword too, yay!) or if she meant both.

A healer is active. A healer needs to leave the domestic sphere to go to where there is trouble and put it to rights, whereas a live in dry nurse stays in the home and tends to a patient in their domestic setting (which is partially why it's seen as a more feminine role).

Eowyn, fearless, longing for deeds and open fields, needs to get out, needs some risk, needs to be bold and needs to be able to do work which has some sort of final goal or success to fight towards. Being a dry nurse is being a lover, pouring out empathy and compassion and care, and being a healer is being a fighter, someone who faces challenges and overcomes them, and that is who Eowyn is by nature. Someone wants things and fights for them.

As a healer, Eowyn would have a variety of tasks; whether that be literal patients or general problems in the world, that need fixing, which gives her more change and also a break, for she won't have just one life she has to constantly attend to.

The active, combative nature that made her long to be a soldier is what makes her suited to be a healer (both literal and figurative), someone who is confronted with challenge after challenge and has to tackle them. Who must come up with a battle plan and then take up her tools and get to work, sticking at it until victory is won.

But whereas a soldier's business is bringing death, a healer's business is bringing life (even if that may mean clearing away dangers and sicknesses in order for that life to flourish. If Eowyn does mean healing figuratively, her work may often cross over into the work of the soldier, but the intent behind it will be different.) Becoming a healer reconciles Eowyn's desire to go to battle with the need for her to embrace life and peace.

She cannot stay at home "in the cage" because what needs healing is beyond her doorstep. And as a healer, when she has done her part healing others, healing the outside world, she can go home, which is now a sanctuary and not a cage, and then she gets to do something else.

As a healer, she will have deeds to accomplish and an existence beyond the walls of her home. And her home, being a place she now gets to leave, a place of comfort and leisure, is a home at last. It's a place she can escape to, not a place to escape from.

As Eowyn and Faramir play around with gender roles a fair bit, it's not surprising that Faramir, a man and a soldier and a bloody good one, is naturally more inclined to being a carer or "dry nurse" than Eowyn is, and in many ways he would have done much better as Theoden's carer than Eowyn did. (Not that Eowyn was bad as a carer, like Faramir she felt it was her duty and she put in the work, but Faramir would have personally coped with it better.)

If anything, it might have been a role that would have brought Faramir satisfaction, if not one completely devoid of heartache and difficulties, because even for those suited for it, being a carer requires a lot and is inevitably draining.

But Faramir is deeply compassionate, compassions and caring does come naturally to him, and he values it highly, so he would have taken pride in knowing he was easing another's suffering, He would have seen the successes and progress and been able to celebrate them. And crucially, his love of lore and studying would have been an escape and often a consolation for him, and given him something of his own to work on, so his own personhood wouldn't have revolved around who he was caring for. His work as a carer could have coexisted with his work as a scholar, and thus he would have been making use of both his natural empathy and intellectual curiosity.

Faramir is also very emotionally intelligent. He is very quick to understand others feelings, even before they do, and can give them very apt emotional support. See how he is with Eowyn, how understanding he is of her love for Aragorn (no resentment or jealousy, he gets it), and her despair and her inner conflicts, and is able to communicate with her really well due to that insight. Between the two, it is Faramir doing the bulk of the emotional support, which must come as a blessed relief for Eowyn after all that time as Theoden's living crutch.

This is also why they work so well as a pairing. They have both experienced what it's like to be a carer and a fighter, to carry the burden of warfare and nursing, and together they're a partnership capable of caring and fighting, dry nursing and healing. They can both do both, but where is inclined one way, the other is inclined another way, and thus they balance each other out.

#eowyn #faramir

[eleneressea]

#maeglin needs a nice booping

[eleneressea]

5+1 style fic in which Maedhros gets dogs from his various loved ones

#maedhros #one of them gives him an extremely ugly and very brachy pug #the question is…who #celegorm sees the pug and is appalled as a noldo whose craft is dog breeding #why would you use your skills for such ugly ends? #it's a very ATBGE situation for him

[eleneressea]

#waited to confirm a caretaker which sometimes meant waiting until parents came back #but for older children sometimes just dropped them back in the world without waiting for a caregiver #fifteen equivalent: yeah no i can definitely take care of myself i don't need a caretaker! #there's a peter pan-esque group of adolescent elves hanging out near mandos because they Insisted that I Can Do It Myself

[eleneressea]

The two dot diacritic here is a diaeresis rather than an umlaut—it signals that the vowels are pronounced separately. So Fëanor is three syllables (Fe-a-nor), but Faenor is two (Fae-nor).

So most people know feanor by the sindarin version of his name but did Feanaro die before he became known as Feanor? I can picture a reembodied Feanaro getting annoyed at what he probably thinks is everyone mispronouncing his name.

[eleneressea]

Actually the ideal Beleg should be clad entirely in colors that blend in with the environment (as per his canonical white winter outfit) except his shoes should be bright red poulaines for no understandable reason

#'​turin tripping for four hours straight' is part of hurin's torment tv #just a compilation of turin's most embarrassing falls #turin #beleg

[eleneressea]

Hark! Ill tidings, the first blood has been spilled in Valinor! Finwë, first king of the Ñoldor, who led his people to Aman, has been murdered! Melkor has slain Lord Finwë and stolen the Silmarils of the House of Fëanor!

There has been unrest in Valinor as of late, and now this! Fëanor, first son of Finwë has given a rousing, blood-stirring speech, and made a vow to destroy Morgoth, avenging his father and retrieving his Silmarils. With the silmarils, the Eldar may hold the light of the trees themselves and reside in peace, without the oversight of the Valar who failed to prevent it. Valinor is no longer safe, says he, and the Valar not fit to rule over the Eldar. He invites all who so desire to follow him into the East, to middle-earth, to seek freedom and safety, and to destroy Morgoth.

#i shall wish my departing kin well but i have a home here

[eleneressea]

"Noldor should jangle and clink when they walk whenever they're not going to battle/scouting" ➡️ "Oh shit I bet they tune their jewelry. Like as a fun pastime. They should know the tinkle of their friends/family's trinkets like they know their footsteps."

[eleneressea]

So for those who may not know, Tolkien invented Anglo-Saxon names for the sons of Fëanor (and the Valar and various other things) for an Anglo-Saxon translation of the Quenta Noldorinwa (the beginning of which he actually wrote). This is all in HoMe IV: The Shaping of Middle-earth.

Now, I hear your "I cannot explain", Christopher Tolkien, and as someone utterly ignorant of Anglo-Saxon, I should refrain... but as someone who is unhinged about these characters and their relationship, I must.

Dœgred Winsterhand, the 'left handed'. The one who lost his hand. And his brother, Dœgmund, with the same initial element to his name, plus a word meaning hand. That also means protector. Dœgmund, the hand of Dœgred, his protector, beside him until the end.

These two...🥹😭

#maedhros #maglor

[eleneressea]

Is your elf friend fading or did they just forget about ✨ the sun ✨?

As grandiose as our elven friends can seem to be, it’s easy to forget that they are simply verbose, slightly stabby, house plants. As such their physical and mental well-being being is drastically dependant on how much time they exposed to any natural light source.

(One would think a being with such requirements would make it a priority to schedule regular times outside but I suppose Eru put us here for some reason)

So if you find your elven friend singing sadly in the corner of a dark room, he may not be buckling under the weight of eternity, he may just have forgotten how days work and that living forever doesn’t mean you can go without sleep. No, not even if you’re in the middle of making something important, it’ll still be there tomorrow

This PSA was brought to you by Hurin Thalion and for the sake of the Allfather Fingon, you’ve been sitting at you desk for almost a week now. Get outside, touch some grass! The world isn’t doomed, there is still good in it  worth fighting for and it’s literally two feet you your left on the other side of the tent flap. Gods preserve us, you scared the life out of me I thought you were dying

#hurin #fingon

[eleneressea]

I agree that the Doriathrim might have that sentiment, though (in Finwë's defense) it is somewhat dubious if Finwë knew that Elwë was missing when he left: the Noldor+Vanyar and Teleri have already split up, with the Teleri living in Thargelion and the Noldor+Vanyar living on the shores of the Bay of Balar. Elwë was returning from a meeting with his friend Finwë when he meets Melian in Nan Elmoth, and not long later Ulmo turned up with an island-boat to take the Noldor+Vanyar to Valinor. It's possible that the Teleri looking for Elwë haven't sent word to Finwë that he's missing yet when Finwë leaves, or their messenger hasn't arrived. The Teleri have been reluctant the whole time; he probably figures Elwë is busy convincing them not to be afraid of the ocean.

Meanwhile, most of the Teleri are totally chill with abandoning Elwë as well! Finwë specifically asks Ulmo to bring the Teleri to Valinor and most of them (Olwë included) go! Even of those who stay in Beleriand, Círdan and the Falathrim stay for Ossë's sake, not Elwë's.

So: totally buy that the Eglath/Doriathrim are like "all of them suck for abandoning Our Boy, look at this pattern of Finwë abandoning people he cares about, he sucks and probably all of his people suck too for liking him," it's just probably not true that Finwë intentionally abandoned Elwë.

A nasty, bitter sentiment that I know in my heart was common among the umanyar who knew Finwe, especially among the sindar:

Of course the man who forgot (abandoned) Elwe for the sparkling new allure of Aman would also forget (abandon) miriel for someone fresh and new like Indis. Would forget the dead and stolen of Cuivienen in favor of the political path of least resistance and invite Melkor into his city.

[eleneressea]

Hi! I am in dire need to know what happened after Maedhros passed out in your pregnant!Maedhros AU. How did Feanor and Maedhros' brothers react to him passing out? Did Feanor have Miriel flashbacks? Was Feanor angry or compassionate? How did they react once they saw his baby bump? I have so many questions! I would love it if you could answer at least some of them.

Nelyafinwë put a hand to his head, grimacing, then swayed and collapsed like a puppet with cut strings.

Someone was screaming. Kanafinwë, Fëanáro noted absently, kneeling by his brother's side, shaking him. Turkafinwë, the only one of them who knew anything about medicine, checking his pulse.

Nelyafinwë, Maitimo, his eldest son, his miracle, the little baby he had held in one arm and clutched Nerdanel's hand with the other, promising that he would never abandon him, never bring in another mother for another child, because he was enough—

His other children were beloved miracles too, of course. But he had held Nelyafinwë in his arms and promised that if he truly was cursed, that if Nerdanel tired and died, that Nelyafinwë would be enough.

He had never thought to worry that something would happen to his son.

"What happened?" he demanded of Turkafinwë, who scowled.

"You know I'm not a healer, right? I don't know what happened. But I think he's with child, which is…" His scowl turned thoughtful, the ever-familiar expression of being faced with a puzzle. "It's not impossible. I don't know who with, though, or when he'd even have time to."

#feanor #maedhros #celegorm

[eleneressea]

In your time travel maedhros au, how are things going between Feanor and Fingolfin since Maitimo got sent to Lorien and it’s becoming increasingly obvious that he and Findekano have feelings for one another. How’s Finwe dealing with all this?

Finwë is doing extremely bad about all this! But mostly for Míriel-related reasons.

Maitimo goes back to just about when Morgoth gets released, and the Ungoliant Incident happens not that long after Fëanor makes the Silmarils, so the Fëanor-Fingolfin relationship is actually not that bad because Morgoth hasn't had a chance to really get the lies going yet. They don't get along, they're still rivals and the family situation is still complicated, but they aren't enemies. This means that there's a chance that they can patch things up. Fëanor is dealing with his "Am I a bad parent?" crisis and knows that Maitimo would like him and Fingolfin to get along, so he's putting in an effort to not snap at Fingolfin. too much. Fingolfin, meanwhile, is very aware that Maitimo saved Findekáno, so he's working on being nicer to Fëanor, and the result is…several very awkward conversations. but they're polite very awkward conversations.

Once Maitimo wakes up and starts manipulating uh I mean influencing his family from his sickbed,* the awkward conversations increase in length and frequency. At one point Fëanor even ventures a comment about Indis that isn't a veiled insult! The bar may be low but they're clearing it!

It is, unfortunately, not obvious that Findekáno and Maitimo have feelings for each other. Emotions are high! Maitimo saved Findekáno's life! Findekáno staying by Maitimo's sickbed and clutching his hand…is not necessarily romantic when he nearly died for you, y'know? So Maitimo knows that Findekáno has feelings for him (because future) but Findekáno thinks that nobody knows how he feels, and to be fair very few people do,** same for Maitimo. They're pining.

*guy arranged large land deals with Thingol in the single year between the Eagle rescue and his abdication; as soon as he's coherent he's going to be judiciously telling his cousins and siblings things to get them to do what he wants. Sometimes that's fomenting rebellion among the Teleri, sometimes that's more pillows and extra treats.

**to wit: Maitimo, Anairë, Ambarussa, Galadriel. Anairë knows her eldest, Ambarussa and Galadriel were (separately) sneaking around eavesdropping and heard Findekáno telling an unconscious Maitimo about his feelings. Galadriel is about four and doesn't understand romantic love yet; Ambarussa think it's very funny. They've nicknamed him "Findekáno Astaldo" sarcastically for his great bravery in confessing his feelings to someone who is unconscious and can't hear him.

#though ambarussa know it does take guts to look at nelyafinwe maitimo and go 'yeah that one i want him' #so it's not entirely sarcastic. just mostly. #fingon #maedhros #russingon #feanor #fingolfin #time travel maedhros

[eleneressea]

the joy of his youth has burned away and in its place is wrath

#amras

[eleneressea]

#hatesex and another halfdozen babies

[eleneressea]

Hi! I couldn’t find the original post again but i think it was you who came up with that au about Maedhros finding out he’s pregnant after the burning of the swan ships and either surviving thanks to the support of feanor or dying like miriel I was wondering if you had any further headcanons on what would happen of maedhros died in this au. What was it like for the Sons of Feanor watching their brother fade away. Was Feanor there at the birth of was he already dead? what would it be like for his child to growing up without either parent and likely incredibly protective uncles? Aswell as the reactions of the nolofinweans and their host when they arrive and find out what happened. Who breaks it to Fingon that his lover/possibly husband died in childbirth or shortly after because Fingon wasnt there ? (not that it was his fault)

Anyway just my curiosity, no pressure to reply

'twas I, indeed!

I think with Maedhros pregnant and in need of support, Fëanor would not charge quite so fiercely and would thus survive the first battle, so he's still alive when the baby comes; with Maedhros dead (another thing Fëanor can attribute to Morgoth's evils) Fëanor would…probably want to charge the gates and challenge Morgoth personally, à la Fingolfin; whether or not he would actually go through with this depends on your opinion of his sons' abilities to shove the baby into his arms vs. joining with him vs. going in his stead.

Definitely the Feanorians are incredibly protective! Not just the six uncles but also all their followers—this baby is communally raised by their grandfather, six blood-uncles, and [number unclear] honorary aunts and uncles. Baby armor is a thing that Curufin and Fëanor invent for the sake of the little one just in case.

We would like for Fingon to hear about this in a supportive and loving way, with reassurance and hugs and emotional honesty and baby cuddles. Close your eyes and picture this.

That is not what happens. Fingon finds out when he asks where Maedhros is and Caranthir bluntly tells him that Maedhros is dead and it's his fault. Fingolfin finds out when he walks into Fëanor's tent to yell about the swanships and sees him holding a baby. It is a miracle that the encampment doesn't burn down in the aftermath. Nobody is happy and everyone is miserable, including the baby who Does Not Like Shouting and wakes up from their nap to join in the screaming. And then Fingon definitely does charge the gates of Angband in despair…

#fingon #maedhros #russingon #feanor

[eleneressea]

My hot take is that Maedhros and Maglor would not be all that suprised that Silmarils burned them - they know what they did.

But. They would, completely irrationally, be suprised that Silmarils burned their brother.

#maedhros #maglor