daichi + canon. <1k.
for hidden injury prompted by @wings-of-life // angst prompts
tw for self-harm
Daichi does his best to be smart about it. At first he sticks to the island, but when that isn’t big enough, isn’t far enough, he still tries to be smart. He sets himself rules: never out of sight of the island, never in the path of the lighthouse, never longer than when he thinks he should be hungry or tired. The last one is the hardest; he has trouble enough measuring the wants of the body without the unending timelessness smearing such paltry things as want to abstraction.
But the point is: He tries.
The walking is nice. The walking is a rote, articulated thing, foot-knee-hip-shift, a steady rhythm that cedes slowly to something like meditation, if meditation were hazy and barren and adrift. There are no eyes out here: none of Scratch’s frantic fix-it worry nor Ozy’s assessing gaze nor Zaref’s distant staring. Even the gods don’t watch him here, and for all that he misses the warmth, he does not entirely mind the secrecy. It is a relief, he can admit to himself as he walks, to not be seen, if only for a while. The astral sea is immense around him and he passes through it unmarked and unheeded. The vastness does not look at him with ill-hidden hurt and ask about his father or the empty spaces where his family history has never been; the vastness does not wonder about his magic and spells he cannot see; the vastness does not put on a brave, silent face and hold tight to hurts for fear of their burden. The vastness only is.
Daichi keeps to his rules, but sometimes when the island is small enough that even he cannot make out the estate on it, he stops to sit. It is a strange thing to sit on something that does not have a surface, but space and weight and matter are only what he makes of them. Sometimes he lies down, but that is often stranger, and he gets dizzy staring up into everything.
The longer they stay, the more he likes it. Not the threat of forgetting, nor the timelessness nor the inescapable press of what is going on outside the bounds of this place, and certainly not the way the pressure-patience grind against each other at perfect odds, turning everyone lazy and frantic in the same breath. But the space, the idea that he might rise one morning and walk forever and never grow tired or hungry, that is a strange, uncomfortable pleasure. He would not, of course—not while he has tasks to complete, not when there are people who need him—but he thinks about it longer than he should, as his wanderings take him further and further from friends and family, all the unwieldy things tying him to the material world and its unending demands.
It is in those moments, when he considers walking and not turning back, that he stops. Sits. Folds himself up in a facsimile of his morning prayer, though there is no sun to turn toward, and tries to remember why he stays. Sometimes he thinks of writing, but what would he say? I’m sorry, after everything I still want to leave?
He has no right to the resentment. He chose this. He’d thought maybe, finally, to have reached an understanding with himself—that the sacrifice had been accepted because he had finally wanted to stay.
Now, unmoored, he is bitter with his own... what? Obligation? Care? With the eyes, mostly—the waiting, the watching, the wariness. And it would be easy, so easy to snap. He knows how to say terrible things and say them without feeling them, and some days—for whatever counts as days here, for whatever counts as some—he can taste it on his tongue, poised and ready. It is not something he likes in himself. It is not something he knows how to release without causing harm. Frustration tastes like brimstone, sulfur and ash, and is a familiar friend.
The blade is familiar too, a sharp and real shock. It is not quite enough—he imagines, sometimes, a hot and horrible wedge of hurt and blood and mess driven in deep, lancing him, leaving him to breathe better for the wound—but it makes his body real in such a way that he sometimes forgets to be. Blood beads red, which is real and alive—though the fire had been red too, hadn't it—and reminds him of here. It makes the now smaller in this timeless place. The time for the wound to sting, for the blood to seep, for the wound to scab, those are things he knows and can measure.
This harm, at least, is one he does not need to share. It is one he does not want to share. It is all his own.
He cannot recall when he learned to so viciously guard his own hurt.
He sits there watching the cut—sleek, narrow, a parallel line to his gleaming scars running up the side of his leg—until it begins to scab, and then with a touch of magic it's gone. Easy, clean. Fixed. If only all hurts were so easily resolved.
“How was your walk?” Zaref asks when he returns. He sits at the edge of the yard, watching Ozy and Scratch spar back and forth. Daichi lingers, but does not join him.
“Pleasant,” he says. "How is the sparring?"
A shrug. Daichi nods, considers speaking—considers asking, pressing, demanding, cursing, sneering, pleading, reaching—and retreats into the house.
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A1, C5, E8, J2, L1 for Lira, Minah, and Narayani?
thanks!! // Big Ol’ Honkin’ OC Question List
A1. What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…
LIRA — ENTJ, aka the commander. pretty apt title, all things considered
MINAH — ESFP, aka the entertainer. highly social, always performing, but with a knack for keeping an eye on other people
NARAYANI — tbh I'm not entirely sure, but I'm leaning INTJ, aka the architect. rational but creative, private but always working.
C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?
LIRA — lira's morals are ironclad, which is part of her issue with howe and the whole betrayal situation. she'll take unsavory actions, absolutely, but it's always in the name of a meaningful goal, and she'll do everything she can to preserve common decency in the process
MINAH — her morals are a little situational, but probably not quite as situational as she'd like to pretend they are. she's got a pretty solid moral center, once you take into account the offsest between her morals and more commonly accepted ones.
NARAYANI — she'll absolutely play different moral codes/frameworks against each other and use whichever one does the most for her.
E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?
LIRA — she regrets a number of choices she made around the end of the blight—killing Loghain, putting Alistair on the throne, undermining Anora, pressuring Alistair into doing Morrigan's ritual—but she'd do them again. Morrigan + Alistair is a big one—she didn't quite realize how badly she wanted him until he made her ask him to do the ritual.)
MINAH — leaving, but there was no other choice. she couldn't have stayed. she couldn't.
NARAYANI — pulling away from her clan. it wasn't one single moment or any specific choice she could have undone, but the ever-fraying thread is something she regrets, especially once her clan is gone and she's the only one left to mourn them.
J2. How politically aware are they?
LIRA — extremely. she's the daughter of a teryn raised to run her own fiefdom and serve on the landsmeet; she was raised to be politically aware and insightful. it served her well fixing ferelden's governing body the way she wanted it post-blight
MINAH — not as aware as she could be, but a fair bit of traveling between countries (and keeping out of trouble) involves having a cursory understanding of the local politics. I'd say her awareness is more broad than deep, but still covers more than you might think
NARAYANI — more aware than she'd care to be, alas. she doesn't give a shit about shem politics, but shem politics give a number of shits about her, which unfortunately means listening to josie try to explain things when rani would rather be doing anything else
L1. How have your characters changed since you created them?
LIRA — tbh she's pretty much exactly the same. I built her after playing origins a couple of times so I knew what I was working with and built her around the game. she's maybe a little softer than her original concept, but only because I love her and want her to be happy.
MINAH — answered!
NARAYANI — I built her without too much of an idea what I was doing but she's gone on a hardening and subsequent softening journey. she's come out sharper and more pointed than I anticipated, but also more wiling to yield and use subtlety, which is a fun combo. what can I say, I like a damaged rogue(TM)
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i'm late but!! A3, C7, E4, F12, H3, L1 for minah, vesper & bran xoxo
thanks babe // Big Ol’ Honkin’ OC Question List
A3: Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?
MINAH — likely has a bit of PTSD or some other undiagnosed trauma response. she’s aware of it in that she’s aware that sometimes things Freak Her Out for no discernible reason and she has to cope with the ???????, but I don’t think mental health practices in the Towers Age offer a succinct vocabulary for acknowledging and processing things. mostly she tries to ignore it into going away. obviously that’s going great for her.
VESPER — to be honest once you get past the general sense of martyrdom and exhaustion and the dregs of cricle "magic is made to serve man" conditioning, vesper is surprisingly stable both mentally and emotionally speaking. she has some addictive habits, but none that have spiraled into any long-term substance abuse problems
BRAN — bran’s definitely got some kind of anxiety disorder, and also probably pretty pronounced seasonal affective disorder. it’s easy to forget about it when she’s living somewhere bright and warm all year round but every now and then it rears its head. she’s more aware of the anxiety—some days when it all gets too much she secrets herself away and waits for the waters to calm.
C7: Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?
MINAH — believes people change, but she’s a little iffy on the natural vs effort debate. people change because they have to, or because they’re forced to. how aware they are of the process doesn’t necessarily play into it
VESPER — believes people can change if they want to, but it takes effort to do so
BRAN — believes people changed based on where they are and who’s around them—there’s an element of effort in there, but change is also a reflection of how the world effects you, whether you realize or not
E4: Did they enjoy school if they went to it?
MINAH — it was okay. some parts of it she liked a lot (seeing other kids, some lessons, skipping out lessons with the other kids, music) and some things were an absolutely pain in the ass to sit through
VESPER — vesper (as a nerd) liked school! she liked classes, she liked learning, she liked magic and history and all her instructors who encouraged her questions (well. most of her questions). she liked knowing exactly what was expected of her and how to perform in those areas. and she liked teaching, once she became an enchanter. for all its ills and horrors, she did enjoy the college part of circle life.
BRAN — bran was not a great student and really didn’t care for school. there were so many other things she could be doing! also she was kind of one of those kids who either Got something and enjoyed being good at it (maths, navigation, history, fencing) or didn’t get it and hated it (literature, languages, diplomacy).
F12: Would they enjoy a theme park?
MINAH — minah would love a theme park. there are rides, there are performances, there are trinkets, there’s all the fried food you could want! she’d have a great time at a theme park
VESPER — she’d have fun, but be slightly overwhelmed by the crowds and probably need to take some time to find a quiet corner and recharge. I’m not sure if she’s the kind of person who enjoys the windswept thrill of a coaster or if she’d prefer to stick to something where her feet are closer to the ground
BRAN — absolutely! yes! she’d have the best time. she’d ride everything, especially the big extreme scary stuff. bring on the thrills!
H3: Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?
MINAH — in her deepest secretest heart of hearts minah’s a romantic who believes in One True Love. rationally she knows people make relationships work through love and dedication and effort and whatever, and that believing everyone can only have one ideal partner is childish and irrational, but there’s a part of her holding onto the idea that there's one Person out there
VESPER — vesper believes relationships are the kind of thing you have to grow and tend, which means they can appear in endless forms and permutations. rightness is relative
BRAN — bran believes in multiple partners who could be the “right” one, for multiple reasons. honestly she’s a little iffy even on the concept of a “right” partner at all (sabine, as usual, is an outlier adn should not have been counted)
L1: How have your characters changed since you created them?
MINAH — minah's much quieter and more blunt than I originally intended, but that's because a) the perils of playing over voice chat (my discord has been shit lately and keeps building up delays which is annoying af) and also because b) I am way less social and improv-y than she is which makes things hard. one of the perils of playing a high-charisma extrovert when I am neither of those things. such is D&D
VESPER — vesper went through a pretty rigorous creation process and was sort of birthed out of the ashes of an older trevelyan mage, which feels appropriate for vesp given all her fire symbolism (the og gal was named mara and was a knight-enchanter). that said, once she existed in the world, she's kind of stayed the same. no major changes, just more depth
BRAN — she’s changed so much from her very initial conceptualization—a villainous (antihero?) doomed love interest in my 2015 nanowrimo novel to a noble and cleric of a sea god to her current iteration. that said, once she reached her Varania Form I think she's been pretty settled—she just gets deeper and richer and more nuanced the longer she lives with me
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Big Ol’ Honkin’ OC Question List-- Long Post Ahead!
Alright, here we go– I put together a list of questions about OCs that you can reblog and have people send in asks for you! I set it up so you can be like, “A3″, “D2″, et cetera… Keep checking in here to the original post in case I add some more to the list! In the meantime, I hope y’all have some fun with this and maybe use it to learn a little bit more about your OCs or get to share things about them!!
A. Psychology
What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…
What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera…
Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?
Are they a pessimist or an optimist?
Are they good at handling change in their life?
Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”
Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted?
Is your OC a martyr?
Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?
Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?
Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?
Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?
Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?
Is your character empathetic?
Is your character observant?
Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first?
What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?
Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?
What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?
Are they harsh on themselves?
Do they make excuses often?
Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?
Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?
What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?
B. Social
Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?
Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly?
Under what situations would they get angry at servers, staff, customer service, et cetera?
Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip?
Do they hold doors open for people?
Would your OC let someone ahead of them in line if your OC had a big cart and the person behind them had very few items?
How do they respond to babies crying in public?
Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?
What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…
Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?
Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late?
Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do?
Do they have a large or small group of friends?
Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?
Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?
Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?
C. Morality
Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?
Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it?
Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own?
Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?
Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?
What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so?
Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?
Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?
D. Religion and Life and Death
How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?
Do they believe in an afterlife?
How comfortable are they with the idea of death?
Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?
Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible?
E. Education and Intelligence
Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?
Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)
How many languages do they speak?
Did they enjoy school if they went to it?
What’s their highest education level? Do they want to continue their education?
Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?
Are they a good note-taker? Are they a good test-taker? Do exams make them nervous?
What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?
F. Domestic Habits, Work, and Hobbies
What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?
What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?
Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?
How clean are they overall with home upkeep?
How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?
How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?
What’s their “dream career” or job situation?
How often are they home?
Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?
Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?
What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most?
Would they enjoy a theme park?
G. Family and Growing Up
Is your OC close to their family?
Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?
Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?
What kind of childhood did your OC have?
Did they go through any typical phases growing up?
Do they have any favorite childhood memories?
Do they have any childhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by?
H. Romance and Intimacy
What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?
Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?
Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?
Does your OC believe in love in first sight?
Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?
Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?
What do they look for in partners? (Emotionally, mentally, physically..)
What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?
What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?
I. Food
What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?
Do they have any eating requirements or preferences? Allergies, vegetarian, organic-only, religious restrictions…
Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?
How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?
Are they a good cook?
Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?
J. Politics, Current Events, Environmental Aspects
Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most?
How politically aware are they?
How politically active are they?
Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong?
Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about?
How do they react to people whose political viewpoints are very opposite of theirs?
How much interest in environmental health do they have?
In reality-based or applicable worlds, do they believe in global warming? Do they recycle?
K. For OCs in Reality-Based Worlds Who Are Unusual in Paranormal Ways (such as magical abilities, being another species, having a curse like lycanthropy, sci-fi abilities, being from another time, et cetera)– Also for OCs where the scenario is similar even if their universe isn’t based on reality
Does your OC have to keep their paranormal aspect (PA) a secret from general society? If so, how? I.e., they can’t discuss their abilities, they have to hide a tail, they have an alter-ego, et cetera. What would happen if society found out about it?
Are there others in their universe with the same or a similar PA as your OC? I.e., others from different dimensions, others of their same species. Do they know about it?
Does your OC have any friends who know about their PA? Any enemies?
Does your OC ever use their PA to get an advantage? I.e., use their ability to be invisible to steal or get out of things, compete in track while their species is a naturally superior runner, use their invulnerability in careers like police work… If so, do they have any hang-ups about it?
Does your OC feel isolated or unrelatable due to the experience their PA brings with it? If so, how do they deal with it?
Does their PA cause issues in daily life? I.e., if they’re inhuman in a human universe and they can’t go to a doctor or risk the doctor realizing they are not human, super abilities with physical drawbacks, they don’t have control of their abilities and must keep to themselves, et cetera… If so, how do they feel about it?
Does your OC’s PA affect their dietary habits so that they are unusual or problematic by their society’s standards?
What are some routines, if any, of self-care that your OC must engage in that are not typical of their society? I.e., having to file their teeth, maintaining magical rituals, drinking blood…
Does your OC have knowledge that they can’t share with the rest of their world that could improve it if it didn’t cause chaos? I.e., a character from the future knowing about technology not yet invented, but they can’t reveal themselves by sharing it?
Would your OC give up their PA if they could? Why or why not?
L. For the Writer/Owner
How have your characters changed since you created them?
What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?
Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?
Would you hang out with your OC if you could?
Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally?
Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to a “good guy”?
Which OC do you think is the most attractive? AKA, which is supposed to be a “bad guy”?
What’s the longest you’ve had an OC for?
How did you come up with your OC?
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