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crowbasils · 10 months

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BASIL (OMORI) — A complete (for now) analysis

spoilers under the cut !! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

BASIL is actually more nuanced than the game makes him out to be, and has hid his emotions far before KEL has, and is as tragic, if not more tragic, as AUBREY is.

HIS CHILDHOOD （＾_＾）

Let’s start off before he met the friend group. As POLLY says in-game, his parents left him when he was a toddler, with his grandmother being the only one there for him. She also does note that she’s only ever seen them once.

…This is obviously something that affected BASIL’s life a lot. Being left with only one person—an old one at that. She cares, yes, but the thing is, we don’t know how she was like. All we get is old art, old concepts, but even then, it’s how SUNNY sees her. Maybe she was pretty strict, maybe she was someone that was lax but when upset, her punishments would be severe, traumatizing, even. Even then, despite the fact that he’s left with someone that cares for him, it’s still pretty bad. Why? Because he would realize that she isn’t his parent. That his grandmother isn’t his parent. And that realization hurts. He’s left to wonder why his parents left him. Why his parents abandoned, and neglected him. Why he seemed unwanted compared to others. Was it because they found him to be weak? Was it because they hated him? Was it because they had no time for him? We never know, and he really never did, either. It does not help that canon implies that there was no communication from him to his parents either.

This can actually cause children to feel like an alien. To feel like they are abnormal in comparison to others. To feel like they aren’t human. To feel that they can’t “connect” with society. They don’t know how to interact “properly” with people, because they can’t relate to other’s experiences. Because they have not experienced interacting much with people. Because they don’t know how to relate, they don’t interact much easily. Because they don’t know how to relate, their speech and manner of expression may not be up to standard. They don't know what a “parent’s love” is, a “mother’s love”, or what “love” is in general, because they weren’t exposed to that. This is, most probably, the case with BASIL. Even though he has a grandmother, it’s not really enough. It’s not enough, because it’s not his parents, it’s not the ones who gave birth to him. It’s not the ones who others would say “would love you unconditionally”. It’s not the ones who others would say “would love you the most”.

Considering that it’s his grandmother, BASIL might’ve actually had to tend to himself and mature faster than anyone did. His grandmother is old, and old people do have quite a lot of complications to deal with. Even if they’re healthy, they’re a bit fragile. He might’ve had to run errands for her, do house chores for her, and stuff like that. A grandmother isn’t the most reliable parental figure, because they could fall ill at any moment, they could die at any moment. He probably knows this, actually. If you take the hunter thing as canon, this does kind of add to the… y’know since he does have to see carcasses. We also don’t know if she’s actually nice. We don’t know if she was a good grandmother, we don’t know if she was a bad one either.

… Anyways. All that combined probably makes you think that BASIL would turn out to be a really sad and depressed kid. As in, something like post-incident SUNNY. But… surprisingly, he’s not. He’s happy, smiling, and if you look at the pre-incident art, more than SUNNY (although, SUNNY states that he doesn’t really like to smile in the traditional sense. BASIL sees right through him though, and knows if he’s smiling or not.). He’s smiling more than SUNNY, which admittedly, makes no sense if you take it as something that indicates “Oh!!! BASIL is happier than SUNNY and SUNNY pre-incident is traumatized!!!!” when you consider both of their childhoods. Which brings us to the next point…

THE INSIDE (PRE-INCIDENT) ( T_T)＼(^-^ )

While not specifically expressed in canon (SUNNY and OMORI aren’t reliable narrators and their views won’t always be accurate), it is pretty implied that he hides feelings. Probably the most obvious indicators of that would be the fact that he vents to SUNNY, and the existence of STRANGER (who is implied to be the parts of BASIL that Sunny finds “unpleasant” while also being a positive figure and guide to him. Not to say that he dislikes BASIL, but he pretty much has this black and white view when it comes to the world because yeah, he’s young and has experienced a lot less pre-incident) and some parts of BLACKSPACE.

He probably has hid more feelings than the game lets on. Maybe he thinks of himself as “inhuman” and feels “strange” compared to everyone because he can’t relate that well to their experiences with their parents and peers, and uses smiling and laughing as a way to cope and/or cover that. Maybe he thinks of himself as “less”, that sometimes, he feels empty, sad, and even angry, and that’s why he acts the way he does. He involves himself in the activities of the friend group, because he’s so scared of being left alone again. To avoid being forgotten and abandoned, he helps everyone and tries to be the reliable friend everyone needs. Maybe because he’s never been able to make a lot of human interaction, he is the way he is. Maybe, he even exaggerated some of his emotions, for a lack of a better word. He wants to get “in” to the moment, truly feel it for what it is, which leads to his emotions being a mix of genuine and a mix of a slight exaggeration. He feels joy and does feel genuinely happy, but he exaggerates it at times. To him, it will all be but a fleeting moment, and when time comes, the friend group will collapse. He values his relationships with the friend group more than anyone, because to him, they are his true family. He takes photos of them, because he’s afraid to lose them.

They say, “opposites attract”, correct? Then perhaps the reason why BASIL hangs out more with SUNNY, is because he is the very opposite to him, by technicality. SUNNY isn’t physically expressive with his emotions. SUNNY doesn’t smile, neither does he laugh a lot, but unlike him, But at the same time, SUNNY isn’t empty. SUNNY is so full of life. He is full of dreams, imagination, often good and fantastical. SUNNY has been around people who love and trust him his entire childhood, while BASIL hasn’t. SUNNY has been loved and cherished by everyone his entire childhood, but BASIL hasn’t. BASIL wasn’t as loved and cherished by everyone as SUNNY was. SUNNY had many people care for him before the friend group, while BASIL didn’t. SUNNY experienced parental love, but BASIL didn’t, and will never experience it. In his eyes, SUNNY is perfect, because he experienced what he cannot. Because he is loved by everyone. Because he is cherished, and treasured. He is what BASIL cannot be, and will not ever be. He is the “good person” he wishes to be, yet cannot be.

With that being said, BASIL probably does have trust and abandonment issues that he hid as well. His photo album can be a sign of that. Abandonment issues, caused by his parents leaving and the fact that his grandmother can fall ill / die at any moment, and trust issues caused by the abandonment issues. The photo album is also described as a collection of “things he is afraid to lose”.

He is also implied to be depressed and/or suicidal in a certain incident which will be addressed in the next section

“THE INCIDENT” ∑(ﾟДﾟ)

The incident is a major part of the OMORI story. It is the very thing that serves as the catalyst for all the events ingame. As for this section of the analysis, it will attempt to give a reason—but not excuse—as to why BASIL did what, and what it may imply when it comes to his character. As well as clearing common misconceptions on why a character did certain things and why the misconception is incorrect.

The question “Why did BASIL hang MARI?” is a question asked by a lot of people. The answer to that is… quite simple, and that is because he didn’t want SUNNY to get in trouble, and hated by everyone. “But he could’ve called the ambulance!!! Or even his parents!!!” That is true, but consider, he was in a stressful situation, and he didn’t even know what to do, as witnessing a death of a friend caused by another friend is a hard thing to take. This and the fact that the police and medical services in OMORI FARAWAY seem quite incompetent and/or lacking, considering how AUBREY was able to get away scot-free while having a bat with nails on it. Also, him hanging MARI does also implies that he knows how to tie a noose. While that can be excused as something that comes from gardening, the thing is that. he knows that it’s for suicide, which also in turn, implies that he knows how to commit it. Which is concerning, especially when you take into consideration that he’s a 12 year old, and that it’s pretty rare for a 12 year old to know that back in the time OMORI is implied to have taken place in. The internet also didn’t exist back then, which makes it pretty impossible for Basil to know what suicide is and how to do it unless he planned to do it himself.

A common yet popular misconception in the fandom is that he is the one who scribbled up the photo album, and to that I say, “No, he wasn’t.” It was SUNNY. SUNNY was the one who scribbled up the photos, and BASIL just took the blame so that he wouldn’t get in trouble and be hated by everyone. BASIL actually says that it was SUNNY in an earlier version of the dialogue before the BASIL fight. (SUNNY even takes a step back when the rest of the gang (minus BASIL) hugs AUBREY! Which is an indicator of at least something.

Another common yet popular misconception is that this is the only reason why BASIL is depressed/sad and that after the game, he’ll go back to being happy again, and to that I say, nope. Absolutely not. It’s not the only reason why BASIL is like that. Even if he healed from the trauma the incident has caused, a lot of his issues are still left unaddressed. The feelings from his grandmother dying, the worsened abandonment and trust issues, the strong yet not acknowledged and repressed feelings from AUBREY bullying him, the feelings from SUNNY leaving him, the feelings from… pretty much everyone leaving him are still there. Him also being suicidal and scared yet again to reunite, because he feels like it will dissolve even faster than before. He’s also still scared that they hate him, and even if they say they don’t, he feels like they’re lying and inside, they hate him and want him to die.

…Also, the incident is not completely BASIL’s fault. He wasn’t the reason why SUNNY shut himself in his room and became a shut-in / hikikomori. And while yes, his SOMETHING is in the shape of hanged MARI, SUNNY became a shut-in / hikikomori due to the guilt of killing Mari, and not because of BASIL hanging her. It’s not BASIL’s fault that SUNNY became a shut-in and that the group fell apart, because the group would’ve fallen apart anyway. It’s just that it’s no longer only SUNNY’s fault that the group did. And even if the hanging didn’t happen, the majority of the group wouldn’t be mature enough to understand the situation fully. We, as the players/readers understand it, because we have almost all of the pieces of the puzzle, but they won’t.

POST-INCIDENT, FARAWAY SECTION (¬_¬)

Before I’d like to start off this segment, what the fandom fails to acknowledge most of the time is that BASIL is 16. He’s not a crybaby. He’s not scared of everything. He’s not a scaredy-cat. Most of those assumptions come from the fandom’s inability to recognize that BASIL has suffered as much as SUNNY and AUBREY have. He is as pained and hurt as them. He was hurt and in pain because of them, too.

The first time we see BASIL, we see him asking for his photo album, but getting bullied and getting told “no” instead. This makes a pretty bad first impression to younger fans and illiterate fans, and because of that, he is often watered down into this “uwu coward soft boy who cries a lot”, which he isn’t. He may seem like it, but he isn’t. The second time we see BASIL, he is at the old hangout spot, and calling for help. This… actually does imply a lot of things, one of them being suicide. He might’ve came there to die in a place where he missed, to look at the place one last time before he would commit suicide, but he was stopped by the hooligans. which most likely bullied him (even though they say they didn’t). And the last time, the sleepover, he either kills himself, or stabs SUNNY in the eye due to hallucinations and stress.

The BASIL we see here, in Faraway, is a more broken version of BASIL. He still acts and hides feelings—or at least tries. It’s not as effective as before. One thing I’d like to point out is the fact that we never really actually see BASIL do anything connected to his past interests. While yes, his photo album being missing may be a part of it, he doesn’t really take photos anymore. We don’t see him taking care of his flowers, either. Maybe he could’ve lost interest in it, as a result of the incident. One POLLY line actually does say that he stopped taking care of his flowers completely at some point before the game.

BASIL probably doesn’t eat much. We don’t see BASIL eat the food in the time SUNNY and KEL were in his house. POLLY does state that he’s been going to the bathroom a lot, too.

That aside, let’s get deeper into it. BASIL, in faraway, is most likely at the lowest point of his life. He had to see his friends leave him one by one (even KEL! even HERO!), and have one bullying him. He no longer has an outlet for his extremely bottled up emotions. He doesn’t have anyone, and his grandmother fell ill as well. POLLY is also paid to be there for him too, which means she doesn’t really count as someone he has. She isn’t close to him, either. She isn’t as close to him as the fandom makes her out to be. She cares, yes. But she isn’t close to BASIL at all. She does say it as well

The reason behind why BASIL stabbed SUNNY’s eye was because he was hallucinating, and not because he actually wanted to stab SUNNY. He stabbed SUNNY’s eye because he thought his eye was a part of SOMETHING (that… he is implied to hallucinate heavier for whatever reason), and not SUNNY. Although, it’s not completely all because of that, it’s a key part of it. His repressed anger and hatred, him being genuinely upset, as well as his desire to protect SUNNY from SOMETHING—a thing that he genuinely and wholeheartedly believes is real and something that exists in reality—is also a part of it too. This part does not mean that BASIL put his selfish desires first, this does not mean that BASIL puts his desire to keep his best friend above SUNNY’s safety. This doesn’t mean that he’s only concerned with what SUNNY can do for him and not concerned with what is best for him. BASIL was going through a breakdown, so a lot of the things he says are in this confused state where he doesn’t know what he’s feeling, what is really happening, and isn’t thinking clearly. BASIL is not doing all this with a clear head and mind. Both the safety of SUNNY and not wanting SUNNY to leave are both on the forefront of his mind, it’s just that, because of the overwhelming stress and the fact that his thoughts aren’t that clear, his method and way of protecting SUNNY is a bit “confusing”. He cares, he cares for SUNNY’s safety, but in this context, the “normal” way of caring doesn’t apply, because the situation isn’t really normal to begin with. The part where he states that he’ll end both of their pains (by murder-suicide) is most likely out of stress, because his situation is extremely stressful, and it’s sad that nobody recognizes it.

He also does use toxic positivity, saying “Everything will be okay…” even if it won’t. It’s just… less recognized.

POST-INCIDENT RELATIONSHIPS & WHAT LIES BEYOND (・・?)

BASIL, post-incident, probably also does have a lot of hidden feelings as well. This time, feelings like anger and even hatred towards his friends, an intense and deeper emptiness, and a lot more worsened negative feelings are added to it.

BASIL still thinks of himself as “weird” compared to everyone else in the friend group, especially after the incident. He feels inhuman, even worse now because if people knew what he did, he knows that they would think of him as a monster and someone unforgivable. He knows now that what he did could be considered inhuman, and feels regret for it. His problems have been intensified, his mental health took a nosedive, and so much more.

With that being said, deep down, maybe he did resent SUNNY. For leaving him when they promised that they would be there for each other. For leaving for 4 years and making him bear the brunt of the judgment. For leaving him when he needed help the most. For leaving him and letting him take fault for something he did (blacking out the photos). But he can’t help but still love him through all of that, whether you take it platonically or romantically. They are tied by a string of fate, they will find each other no matter what, and will try to forgive themselves and each other. The path to recovery is laid with hardships, and complicated feelings. BASIL and SUNNY are each other’s weakness, but each other’s reasons for going on. SUNNY’s desire to save HEADSPACE BASIL that carried on to the FARAWAY BASIL, and BASIL’s desire to see SUNNY again, if only for a while. It is not only KEL who helped SUNNY stay alive, but BASIL as well. Even if BASIL thinks that he’s too far gone to be found, if he’s someone who cannot be helped anymore, SUNNY still tries to help him. SUNNY wants to help him. It is not BASIL that forces him to, but SUNNY’s own desire. BASIL doesn’t force him to, he asks him to, but not force him. SUNNY is doing it on his own accord, because he wants to help BASIL. BASIL understands SUNNY, and SUNNY understands BASIL, both on a much deeper level than anyone else. They have hurt each other, yes, but everyone in the group has hurt each other at some point. They are each other’s triggers, but they are also each other’s sources of comfort. They are why they were able to face and accept the truth of the accident and incident. It is because of each other that SUNNY was able to accept that MARI died, and that SUNNY was the one who was at fault when it comes to MARI’s death and the accident. Even if SUNNY lost his eye because of BASIL, it is also because of BASIL that he was able to remember and face the truth of the accident and incident.

Now, to AUBREY, deep down, he probably resents her too, possibly much more than SUNNY. One thing that I’d like to mention is that bullying is, in fact, a form of abuse. I’m not calling AUBREY an abuser, but she did do fucked up things. She was a horrible person, but she wasn’t evil. He’s not calm because he understands, he’s calm because he thinks the one at fault. He thinks he deserves it. He understands, yes, but that’s not why he’s calm. He’s calm because he genuinely thinks there’s something wrong with him, and that he’s the one who needs to adjust. People who get bullied tend to think that there’s something wrong with them, that they have to be the one to adjust, especially if said person was close to you before it. Some don’t realize it’s bullying either until they reflect and think more about it, especially if they were once a friend, or a family member. Technically, what she did Is abuse, since bullying is considered abuse. It doesn’t matter if it was verbal abuse at first, it still counts as it. Verbal bullying is STILL bullying, and it is also still abuse. It’s a pretty gray area when it comes to AUBREY, because I don’t want to be too harsh and call her an abuser, but yeah. In terms of forgiveness, words and feelings don’t matter without actions, much like how actions don’t matter much without the words, which is why AUBREY does need to be treated a bit harsher by the fandom, since the bullying isn’t something you should brush off when it comes to analyzing BASIL’s character. Forgiveness from BASIL will take a long time, it’s going to be a rocky road for them to be even comfortable with each other, for BASIL to not flinch every time AUBREY tries to get close. To not feel uncomfortable whenever she even gets close. Which is not a thing that is acknowledged when it comes to BASIL.

Onto KEL. I think it’s pretty clear that KEL and BASIL haven’t interacted much before the 3 days left. KEL even acts surprised about BASIL being there, with this line.

While there isn’t much to say about them, BASIL might’ve resented him too, just not as much as SUNNY and especially AUBREY. KEL left him too, even if KEL mentioned that they wouldn’t really respond, it doesn’t stop BASIL from feeling that way. Maybe he would’ve resented the fact that he seemed to prioritize SUNNY over him, maybe he would’ve felt like he was less important to the eyes of KEL. And while yes, this may not make sense to us players/viewers because we know why KEL is knocking, BASIL doesn’t know. The mind is both rational and irrational, after all. Even if another person feels something, it does not stop someone from feeling, well, another thing. BASIL most likely doesn’t know if he should resent him or not, he knows that it might be because SUNNY’s house is marked “for sale”, but he wishes the same effort was spent for him, as well. He might’ve felt like KEL prioritized him the least, he might of thought that KEL sees him as “less”. Keep in mind, his feelings and thoughts are not necessarily true, so these aren’t facts. KEL does care, but it doesn’t stop BASIL from feeling like that. (Just thought I had to make that clear because some people might take this wrongly)

BASIL and HERO… There isn’t much to say about this segment. While it’s understandable that HERO left because of college, sometimes he does resent him for leaving like everyone else. He resents all of them for leaving, some even more because of certain factors or actions. But…

BASIL still loves all his friends. He does. He cherishes them all, but he can’t help but feel that way towards all of them. He can’t help it. He feels disgusted for feeling that way towards all of them, he feels disgusted for feeling negatively, but he can’t help but still feel it. No matter how much he tries to tell himself he doesn’t deserve to feel like that towards his friends, to think negatively of them, he will always feel these things deep down.

POST-TRUTH REVEAL FEELINGS AND POST-GAME SPECULATIONS (´ｰ｀)

Post game, a lot of BASIL’s problems go unsolved. He isn’t exactly portrayed to have reconciled with the rest. While yes, you can take the “Let’s make new memories together, okay?” line as BASIL wanting to make new memories with his friends, it’s DREAM BASIL that says that, and he, despite looking like FARAWAY BASIL, isn’t BASIL himself, so that isn’t reliable. His grandmother, his only source of comfort for those 4 years also dies, leaving him with someone who he isn’t sure he can trust due to her being there because of a job, and obligation. All that combined does just feel like instead of getting better, his problems will just fester into something worse. He’s basically alone as well. Even more so due to the reactions to the truth. SUNNY left yet again, he took the brunt of the reactions, he isn’t close to the friend group, he is still suicidal. POLLY isn’t someone who is a mother figure to BASIL. She isn’t even close to him. He doesn’t even feel comfortable with her.

… That’s not saying that the friend group won’t try to get closer to him again, because yeah, they do have a chance to try to get closer to him, it’s just that BASIL’s issues and problems go unresolved because he probably won’t open up to them for a while, or even open up to them at all. His problems still aren’t solved, either. Yeah, sure, he might admit some things, but they won’t be the closest anymore. It’ll probably take a very long time for BASIL to even warm up to them again. Might even take 2 years. Maybe he even tries to be more like himself pre-incident because he perceives it as a way for him to be redeemed in their eyes, but because of that, he hurts himself even more. He wants to be himself around everyone, but maybe he feels that “himself” isn’t who they want.

This part is mostly just speculation, although it is something that should be acknowledged more. His problems are still there, and even if you give him therapy, his problems will still be there, therapy is not something that solves your problems, it helps you until you can deal with it. It is not something that will magically make you emotionally intelligent, but more of something that helps you identify emotions better.

CONCLUSION ☆彡

Overall, I think BASIL is the character least talked about in this much depth, and often mischaracterized along with HERO and MARI. Many people fail to recognize that he’s also as tragic as SUNNY AND AUBREY are. Many people fail to recognize that his issues go far beyond the incident as well. Not a lot of people recognize that SUNNY’s issues and trauma isn’t worse than BASIL

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hollythius · 2 years

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dearly detested ; howl jenkins-pendragon x reader

have i ever written enemies to lovers before? no. wait actually this is more rivals to lovers oops. also canon divergence i think. mix of the book + movie. female reader is implied but i use they/them pronouns.

also michael = markl. michael is howl’s apprentice, and is like…15. he’s just the book version of markl. (and also i like him way more than markl lmao).

rivals to lovers > enemies to lovers. there i said it.

hmm. it appears that the man upstairs gave me the ability to write angst. there’s some hurt/comfort mixed in there.

tw; blood, howl is a lot crueler i think, slight gore?, howl kinda kidnaps reader but they could leave if they wanted, non-sexual nudity, howl and the reader definitely have history, y/n is emotionally constipated, they take a bath together, you can cut the tension with a knife.

there was not one person you hated more in the entirety of ingary. everything about howl made you see red. every time his name crossed your ears, you bit back with doglike rage.

there was a time not too long ago where you felt differently, perhaps with even the slightest crush on the young wizard. but that was years ago, when you were still a student. now you were a full-fledged witch who saw through howl’s trickery. how could any respectable user of magic be such a dirty coward?

you sighed, the black masses fizzling away after leaving you bloodied. the witch of the waste was still on the prowl, and as sanctioned by the king, you were expected to rid of her. your dearly hated howl, however; was tasked with finding the king’s brother, prince justin.

his victory would surely trump your own, which of course angered you like nothing else. everyone would forget about the witch of the waste once the prince was found. so you decided to take your time with your contract. but now that you were rendered almost defenseless in the valley of the waste, the familiar puffing of the castle was once again something that stirred nostalgia and not hatred.

you lumbered closer to the castle, clutching your wounded side. the huge hunk of metal chugged closer to you, though you were sure that was coincidence. howl most certainly was not home. if he was, you would’ve ran back up into the waste.

you slung yourself at the back door, shoving it open with your shoulder. howl’s apprentice stood there, wide-eyed with a half finished spell on the table in front of him.

“m-master pendragon isn’t here right now,” michael stuttered. his wide eyes blew wider when they reached the deep gash in your middle.

“good.” you responded harshly, heading for the shelves of ingredients. your plan was to make a quick salve to stave off infection, but the creaking of the door made you freeze.

“oh? and what did the cat bring in this time, michael?”

his voice sent a chill down your spine. you dropped the vial you were holding, the glass breaking on the floor.

“and what manner of rodent may you be, my dear?” your rigid body turned around to find the horrible blond grinning down at you. his fingers traced your side, your body flinching as he flicked your blood off of them. “my, my, y/n. what in ingary has the king been making you do?”

you scoffed at his false curiosity. “i suppose you wouldn’t know,” you spat. he was only concerned with himself. “how has your contract been going?”

howl chuckled, and you had half a mind to punch his lights out. bang up that pretty face of his. “almost as well as yours, by the looks of it,” he said.

howl folded his arms, raising a brow. you knew what he meant. why had you come here, of all places? he was well aware of your loathing of him.

“it was close. i was sure you weren’t home.”

“so it was your intention to steal from me and then leave? calcifer would have told me everything,” he smirked. you narrowed your eyes.

“of course. but would you have sought me out? made me pay for whatever i had taken?”

howl’s face was stern, but you’d won. as you stared into his cold eyes, they finally darted away. you stopped the grin that pulled at your lips. howl turned to face the fireplace.

“prepare a hot bath. and lock the doors, calcifer. we can’t have our rat escaping just yet.” your heart dropped. “it appears they’re injured,” he sang, running a hand down your side. this time he didn’t bother flicking the blood off his fingers.

“i wouldn’t call them a rat, howl,” calcifer bit back before flaring up and doing his assigned tasks.

howl shoved your cloak off your shoulders. “michael, wash that for me. and you,” he turned and faced you, “accompany me to the bathroom, would you?”

you followed howl up the stairs, watching as his bloody hand trailed up the banister. he held open the bathroom door and steam fell out in thick tufts. “after you, my dear.”

you scowled. you stepped in, sitting atop the toilet seat. “so now what? going to watch me bathe, jenkins?”

“it’s nothing foreign, love,” he breathed, tipping salts into the bath water. “i’d rather not have poor michael be forced to supervise you.”

howl shrugged off his overcoat, letting it fall to the floor. he stretched his arms over his head, shoulders popping. he was left in a loose white shirt.

“i suppose you’re right, howl,” you sighed, finally giving in. “now, am i right in assuming that you have no intention of letting me leave until i heal?”

“would it please you if i said you are indeed correct in your assumption?”

you let a dry chuckle escape your pursed lips. your eye wandered, seeing all of howl’s beauty products. how many women had he charmed using these? immediately the homely aura returned to one of forced intimacy.

“of course it would,” you sang bitterly. howl laughed as he kneeled down to untie your bootlace.

“don’t play like that, my dear. i’m well aware of your…complicated feelings towards me.”

“what about them do you find complicated, oh great wizard of ingary?” you teased. however no amusement was in it, and none was found in his annoyance at the title you’d given him.

“i realize that i am a coward, there’s no reason to rub it in, dear,” his voice came out strained, and his eyes were shifting around.

you hummed. “i’m glad you’re self aware, howl. perhaps that fact brings you up a notch.”

“do you want my help or not, y/n?” he snapped. “or are you just here to berate me?”

you froze. he’d scared you many times before, but never once had howl jenkins ever raised his voice at you.

“i- howl, i didn’t mean it like that,” you sighed.

“of course you didn’t,” he sang, mocking you. his focus returned to your boots, swiftly pulling them off along with your stockings. the look in his eyes was distant. his hands edged towards your bloody blouse. “with your permission, my dear.”

“you know my answer, howl.” he seemed to lighten up at that. he did know the answer, which would always be yes.

soon your blouse was discarded on the floor along with your boots and trousers. you dabbed at your wound with a cloth howl had handed you.

“be grateful this gash wasn’t so deep that you needed stitches. i can fix this with magic.”

“go ahead,” you replied. howl’s hand moved to cusp your side, the warmth being replaced with the hot sensation of magic.

“this’ll leave a nasty scar, my dear,” howl said. but you weren’t paying any attention to him. your eyes focused on the thin flesh of his lips, pink and barely there. “though it doesn’t seem like you mind much.” his other hand grabbed your waist, pulling you atop him.

“i miss you, howl. every day,” you whimpered, burying yourself in his shoulder.

“then stay here. masking your longing with anger must be tiring.”

“i…can’t. not after how i’ve treated you,” you whispered.

“my dear, i know you only said those things to cope. it was the only way you knew how.”

the burning in your eyes ceased when you finally let your tears flow onto howl’s shoulder. he flinched when he felt your body quiver against him.

“howl,” your shaky voice barely audible as you gripped at the blond’s back. “i-”

“shhh. i know, my love. relax yourself.”

the two of you spent the next hour in the tub together, simply enjoying one another. howl calmed your shaky breaths, and made you feel like the only one in the world. you missed this. you missed him.

howl magicked up sleepwear, dressing himself and leaving you to sift through the pile of overzealous fabric until you found something suitable. you end up in something a tad too large for your figure, but you don’t mind. the softness of the silk garment is enough to make you even sleepier than before.

“howl?”

“yes, my dear, i know you’re tired. but please, let me speak for a moment?” he breathed, his blond hair brushing against your forehead. you respond with a sighed yes, and howl pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“never stray away from me again, my dear. it’s not good to keep things like this pent up for so long.”

your hands grasp at his back, and his lips make contact with your own. “i know, howl.”

howl’s lips parted in a kind smile, and he let out a small chuckle. he pressed his forehead against yours. “i love you, my dear.”

you answered him with a kiss on the lips. i love you too.

#helpful holly ☎️#if you’re going to like you should reblog too #howl pendragon x reader #howl x reader #howl pendragon #howls moving castle #howl’s moving castle x reader #howl jenkins pendragon #howl jenkins x reader #i love this fic so much #it’s a labor of love #please don’t let this flop tumblr i’m begging

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