#trying to express myself

[tubbytarchia]

Sorry, last one, swear!! I'll try and finish this by the 10th and then I will leave you all alone. I'm experiencing some long missed joy in creating this, please forgive my impatient excitement

#Just need this to be done already but its not so I just need to share one last bit of it to keep myself motivated. Please understand #Mercy... Thank you for all the support though but I'll express more of that at the end of this #scarian #desert duo #trafficshipping #trafficblr #those pink forest backgrounds are like the only ones I remotely like in this entire animation #but I'll try to redo and improve some of the others before I dare show them to the public eye. My backgrounds suck ass #seriously though wahhh I am so miserable but alas... the joy of creation #sorry for speaking like this is my magnum opus and everyone needs to look at it. I just dont know when I'll ever create smth like this agai #to me this means a lot #too many tags #tubby art

[mumblesplash]

heartbreaking: this viral post is saying things you completely agree with in the most irritating way possible

#mumbling #goD #thinking about that one cringing = pearl clutching post i saw a while ago #legitimately good points and the only time i’ve ever seen someone point out the linguistic shift #of ‘cringe’ going from verb to adjective and how that takes the blame off of the people DOING the cringing #like yeah! that’s it that’s the thing i’ve been trying to figure out how to say!! #the insidious shift from cringe as an action of the beholder to a property of the beheld is not only worth examining #but demonstrates a seriously important way our brains can be affected over time by language #that was something i didn’t even notice! sure it bothered me but i didn’t know how to express WHY #and i think it’s so cool to see someone finally manage to articulate smth that’s been pissing me off for years #HOWEVER #my god was op’s phrasing annoying the hell out of me for some reason #just written in such a grating writing style i couldn’t bring myself to reblog it even though i really wanted to

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Hi im not dead sorry for being absent so much :(

In love with giving Sun freckles

#fnaf sun #fnaf moon #sundrop #moondrop #dca #daycare attendant #my art #takin time for myself a lot rn #i think im a bit burned out #every time i start i try drawing i just feel like theres nothing for me to express #just head empty #is gonna be fine tho

[imaybe5tupid]

Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)

Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.

#laishuro #laios touden #i make a lot of jokes on here since part of the fun of this blog for me is limiting myself to only expressing ideas via drawings #as much as I can to try to see what I can try to convey in the limited time I have to draw each day which is sometimes like 15minutes #but laios idea of who shuro was to him and who he continues to be and how it ties into his own feelings of self worth and self hatred #not to mention being so thoroughly defined by having never been indulged before by the men in his life #are so compelling to me #and then of course you mix in toshiros own mind prisons #and their established dynamic of him begrudgingly putting up with him because he feels he has to and bc hes cursed with obedience #whilst laios genuinely thinks shuro does it because he likes it and likes laios because why else would anyone act like that #when everyone else in his life has not hesitated to Let Him Know #this is what is so fun about relationships like this…forever passing by each other’s true feelings like ships in the night #and on toshiros side umineko said it best People are riddles. They want someone else to solve their riddle #they live life wanting someone to solve the riddle that they are #the most difficult riddle in the world #without love the truth cannot be seen sighhhh many such cases #sometimes i get embarassed how deep i get for some of the characters in this series it really is that deep sometimes but not always #but WHATEVER #i never even engaged in or was interested in shipping the several years i read dunmeshi EXCEPT laishuro lol #which i sadistically wanted to stay one sided and miserable forever. I rarely get fed such genuinely fraught dynamics as their one in manga #so i became obsessed #and walked through the desert alone for 40 years and then checked in as anime started airing that other people ship this and gaf #and decided to unleash the jokes and ideas that my like 2 friend who like anime previously suffered alone as though they were jesus christ #now tho as much as I still enjoy tragedy and pain and emotional suffering I’ve let love and peace and requited fulfilled yaoi into my life #with laishuro. and its great! #my comics

[st-hedge]

It wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card that I’d draw V again. Anyway I’ll go ahead ramble in the tags

#devil may cry 5 #dmc5 #dmc v #so I’ve replayed dmc5 a stupid amount of times since March #but to be fair it’s a very short game #but I’ve developed a hobby of trying to connect dots between v and Vergil #cuz the detail is actually so good #for instance even how he holds the cane is similar to how he handles Yamato #his expressions are so alike but it’s not obvious #but then I thought #why is vergil’s humanity some dweeb who is like 20 something #he is like closest age wise to his dmc3 version #(this has probably been answered but I wanted to figure it out myself) #then I remembered the line from v about how his humanity has finally returned #so has it been subdued and dormant ever since he got imprisoned by mundus #and is that why his humanity resembles his younger self #cuz the human vulnerable side of him has been dead #this is the only edition of Vergil I won’t drop kick on sight #human v is a dork ass goth who has a soft squishy heart #and he can’t even kill his brother who he hates so much when given the chance #UUUGGHHHHHHHHHH #don’t even get me started about the ordeal with Nero #v tried so hard to just see him as a tool but he knows that wasn’t the case

[catlover4536]

@carnivalcarrion Remember when I said I had something for you?

Yeah, me too.

#welcome home #barnaby b beagle #howdy pillar #welcome home au #kinda? #hey does yassified howdy count as an AU? idk but either way I'll tag it ahahha #my art #barnaby x howdy #laughingstock #spreading the laughingstock propaganda #bruh there are many mistakes and inconsistencies here BUT #I did this as a quick sketch thing to get an idea of how to draw howdy and barnaby as I haven't drawn them much otherwise yet #I've had this sitting in my art things for a few weeks trying to add dialouge to fit this #before I gave up and let their expressions talk for em #setting this early on before they confess #main concept for this idea came from that one sketch made with Barnaby burying himself in Howdy's chestfluff for stress relief #said to myself 'Why not have Howdy do that instead?' as equivalent exchange #bro let the impulsive thoughts take over for a second #I don't blame him bc the same thing happens with me and my cats #I say I won't pet em but then they are being to cute and such to resist for long #bet Howdy is trying to play it off in the last panel #I hope you like my humble gift CarnivalCarrion #as a multi-shipper you opened my eyes to this and popstar so ahehehwbbwbeb #also you have no idea how hard I panicked when I realized you already had a design for yassified howdy in his adjusted shopwear ahaha #the tie is out oh well #he needs to keep Some professionalism while letting all that chest fluff breath no?

[deoidesign]

I've been told my comic feels like it was written by AI.

I suppose I'm not trying to be groundbreaking. I'm not interested in pioneering genres. I'm not writing for the purpose of literary analysis.

But written by AI...?

I'm already someone who has my humanity questioned. My identity erased. My existence disrespected. It could be worse. Anything could be worse.

But AI?

I spend weeks writing single scenes, toiling over the implications of single lines. I have goals. My writing has intent.

If you cared to read deeper, perhaps you'd see the themes. Maybe then you'd see the value. If you tried to analyze it maybe you'd see something there.

Maybe you'd see me.

Someone told me my comic seemed like it was written by AI.

And my humanity was denied one step further in that my voice was not seen in the work I've poured years of my life into.

#this is a comment that has bothered me for... a long time. #it really sat with me. #its insulting of course... #but i get insults all the time #thats not what bothered me. #there was something more to it #something more to how this hurt my feelings and why it lingered so long in my mind #and i think its because of this. #it removes me. it removes my humanity. #in a world where i already feel so invisible and invalidated #where i express myself. my love. through my work #to be told it seems like something a literal robot coild make #a conglomeration of marketable ideas #god. jts so insulting on a completely other level. #its straight up dehumanizing #so. watch the things you say seem like ai #when its actually made by an artist #especially if you know that it was made bh someone #they have a heart an theyre trying to show it to you #i know its not that deep or whatever. #but isnt it? #isnt the point of our art to connect to others? to love them? to spend time with them?? #im being dramatic #but i also care #and sometimes a little extra drama is what gets my ideas across. #i would know #im a writer

[cerealmonster15]

five stages of adeuce ft the trials and tribulations of ace trappola

#twisted wonderland #twst #adeuce #ace trappola #deuce spade #cereal tries to draw #ummmm. teehee. #jumpscare i spent more than an hour on something #i still. absolutely rushed thru but i mean i did some of it yesterday and some today #for SEVERAL hours #but i am so very busy and have a lot i need to do so i had to just #GET IT OUTTA MY SYSTEM one less thing to think about #but listen listen to me i love adeuce i love them so much theyre one of my og twst ships #and i love their ride or die bestie bond with yuu and grim it's SOOOO CUTE #i also love first year squad and i love basketball brothers and i love heartslabyul family #deuce is eating an egg in that first panel btw. sorry i dont know how to draw. well anything but especially silverware #and also hands. oh god. bu it's OKAY i dont HAVE TO make things PRETTY im . trying new things here. #IM TRYING I AM LEARNING IM EXPRESSING MYSELF VIA. IDK BLORBO SILLIES #ok that's enough going thru it in the tags i love my silly sons i hope u love them too #bc i need more adeuce FOREVER !!!!!!!!!! #directly inject heartslabyul content into my brain please theyre my favorites forever and ever and ever #[smash bros voice] NO CONTEST #ace and deuce have such a funny relationship. like why are you like that LOL kjdfldsjfkls #ace writing a Get Out Of My School letter to juice. real 2 me. i made that joke for jamil/azul once #but it's true for anyone at nrc i think actually. ok that's ENOUGH i need to go to BED GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also i was gonna use text tool to also type the dialogue but it looked weird n out of place w/my sloppy drawing so i had to freehand AGAIN #SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lunarharp]

pretty & cute witch men

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i'm not drawing as much or as well as i'd like to be doing. i'm trying to get through a comic i've been really wanting to do #but i'm just finding it so hard. disheartening. btw the 2nd one relates to some official art of qif wearing a dress like the girls #and the 4th one relates to how i've been drawing EXTREMELY SMALL for years. idk how to explain it but i always clicked 'fit to screen' #and so all my art EVER has looked bad when you zoom in bc it's already like size 1 zoomed in to the MAX pfhgguguhfpfhGHAHHHHH #i was so confused allll this time why brushes always look different for me than what they're supposed to #'wow this brush is so jaggedy..really rather jaggedy...calling it the Jagged Cai Special..bringing it out for those jaggedy moments.. #really quite jaggedy i must say...' and it's literally not jaggedy #but now i have to get used to how all those brushes that i'd gotten used to indeed look how they're supposed to finally. Alarming #I have simply been working out absolutely everything by myself for years and that's why my technical progress is slow #ppl say my progress is fast and i certainly have improved much since i began doing all this but #like..it took me a year and half to start using a program where i could Colour In The Lines aka the..whatever it's called. whatever.. #just on my lonely confused solemn journey to express gay love better than yesterday.. -_- *picks up my pack n continues through the snow* #btw thank you sm for people's kind words enjoying my narumitsu art & fic over the christmas & new year period <3

[gravehags]

Crucifixion of Saint Peter by Caravaggio (1601, oil on canvas) located at the Cerasi Chapel at Santa Maria del Popolo in Rome

#i've been trying to find this on tumblr to reblog but couldn't so #FINE I'LL POST IT MYSELF #my favorite caravaggio #the composition? the expression on peter's face? obsessed #caravaggio #crucifixion of saint peter #art history #baroque #art

[vintagecandy]

i'd love to see Jervis in 3B or 2D!

or maybe jonathan crane in 4B?

whatever strikes your fancy! (hope you are doing well!)

Tick-tock, Gotham.

#ONCE AGAIN barely made it but this one was hard haha! #well i made it hard on myself but-- first time trying under face lighting? without a reference too lol i tried my best #btas jonathan crane #Jonathan Crane #expression meme 2023 #batman scarecrow #gotham rogues #fanart

[pinksilvace]

“It’s cold." “I know. I know, but we’re going to be alright. Do you hear me? You’re alright now. You’re going to be okay.” “I want to go home.” “We can’t go back home. We’re—we’re orphans now, remember? Nobody’s waiting for us back there.”

#this is technically art for my fic so it gets the tag: #silvacegreengardens #I love drawing backgrounds (lie) #my art #fernart #for once I'm feeling pretty proud of this one??? wild #guess that's what happens when I try for a full illustration every once in a while lol #rip to that plant specifically though. abstract shapes be upon ye #the owl house #caleb wittebane #philip wittebane #wittebros #toh fanart #eventually I'm going to post a short green gardens companion fic that explains what Caleb's going through bc it's a Lot #oh rip to the blanket and left hand too. definitely did not try incorporating them as well as I could have. ah well #the focus for this was color and expression anyway #bummer that it's so dark but I couldn't figure out how to get the ambience otherwise and I refuse to shoot reference of myself #dripping wet and sitting in a dark place with vague overhead ambient lighting #you should've seen how Caleb's feet looked in the initial sketch. HUGE. boy came straight out of kingdom hearts

[c28hunter]

Okay, I'm not sure it this hasn't been already talked about but

ARE WE ALL AWARE OF THE CHANGE THAT HAD HAPPENED IN KRIS?!

Remember that one interview, when he said that back when he was a child he used to be called a "girl" because of his longer hair? And then he cut them short to stop the comments

And now? Now, during their BIGGEST concert he was wearing a Diana-revange outfit, his hair longer again and he absolutely slayed. The confidence shown, the joy while performing, all of his soul put into singing NGVOT... This man went through such a big change

I am so fucking proud of him, it must've taken him a while to figure all those things out, because these things are difficult to get through. And now here he is, slaying as hard as he can, being who he wants to be and not giving a fuck

That's an inspiration, that's an icon

#joker out #kris guštin #i want us all to look at kris and believe that we as well can be who we want to be #express ourselves how we want to with wahtever outfit we like #ive just been on a walk and started to analyse stuff dont mind my rambles #but im SO HAPPY FOR HIM #that he is comfortable with himself and his style #i myself am slowly trying to get comfortable with my style and looking at kris makes me believe that i can actually achieve peace in my head #sorry for the rambles im getting emotional over slovenian men again #eryka speaks

[esleep]

something some people fail to understand about the character names in Dune is that the ridiculously basic names like “paul” and “jessica” and “duncan” serve as slightly jarring reminders that this is all taking place in the far-distant future of our very own society. it’s such a fanciful future not rooted in reality that it can be easy to lose track of that sometimes until you read the name “duncan idaho” or references to the “orange catholic bible” and are reminded that oh yeah, our current earth has a place in the history of this world

#i have a lot of thoughts about this but i have a hard time explaining them well #had a discussion with friends recently on the topic that i avoided getting into this with but i regret that now tbh #i wonder what they would’ve had to say about it #i just didn’t have the energy to try and express myself at the time #and no one else is a freak like me who thinks about dune this often #so the moment has long passed #anyway. star wars is so busted for this but dune is not and this is why. #duneposting

[wis-art]

and she's happy about it

#from grim loser #to cuddly girl #she changes a lot lol #i used to be all edgy and stuff #i still wear all black cause it's fun #but i am not nearly as scared to just express myself #art #my art #sketch #lucy wiki #lucy #wiki #i dont know #i wanted to express how i went from always trying to sell how sad i am through my drawings #and my looks and clothes #to just how happy i became and how happy my art became #when i started being myself you know #just comfortable with myself #she has became a little chubbier #and dyed her hair orange #maybe because she's no longer constrained by what she thought she has to be #but there's still a lot of her in what she is now #hehe #trans

[shroombies]

So pissed I can't say punctuation out loud. Nothing I can verbalize holds the same impact as just going

,

.

??

!!

#rambling #curse the english language and the futility of trying to fully express myself verbally