#trying so hard to be rational lolol

[jimalim]

On the one hand, I love seeing both the US and UK second seasons of The Traitors raking in huge ratings and engagement, on the other hand I have the urge to gatekeep the fuck out of my hyperfixation

#like ive been here since pretty much the beginning #watched every english speaking series #wrote my own entire season as a crissover fanfic #listen to multiple traitors podcasts #but now theres all these bandwagon fans who speak like their experts and it irks me so much #(tbh its mostly just the housewives fans who are only watching US s2) #trying so hard to be rational lolol #(yes i am fully aware im being silly and annoying about it. i just love this game so much) #this show has consumed me in so many ways over the past year

[girlwithfish]

constantly being in therapy mode is exhausting lolol. today was hard again despite how good of a day i had before i got home so its a little devastating but even after i got off therapy all the therapy talk was taking up a lot of my headspace after. nd after such.a horrible episode where i was severely dysregulated again its just like ahhh. and after it i therapized myself so much being introspective trying to work through why i acted this and that way what i was feeling and maybe im processing it a little better or able to give myself more grace but im also not trying to make excuses but its just sooo hard. ik identifying is the first step but it is like so hard when the process of healing and changing behaviors ingrained in u from trauma and mental illness that manifests out of ur control is so slow and takes so much time to change how u react and how to self regulate and handle difficult intense emotions etc like i think im processing it better or jn less despair bc im bejng more rational and using so much therapy talk to even understand my partners pov and relsase my own feelings of hurt but its so much and i have therapy again in 8 hrs and it felt rewarding to go today nd take so much in and feel like a lot of the content resonated and being proud of myself for identifying these difficult emotions and behaviors and the why but i am so ready for a big change and it sucks that i cant just erase all the pain and the maladaptive behaviors and the unhealthy trauma responses and flip a switch and become a stable person like okay it really takes time and work and im willing to do it it is just do hard when im on day 2 and i want results now lol

[theloveinc]

https://at.tumblr.com/matchagirl/686152326082396160/6j526x4eqlq9

Lmaoooo this is shinso, he tries so hard to be nonchalant but is vibrating at the thought that you brushed hands earlier, ✋️ love me pathetically inlove men who are unable to express it like a normal human being, who else does this remind you of lol ?

(You can totally ignore this but sometimes im a little nosey) Saw that someone blocked you and while my totally rational mind is like "yeah maybe they just don't like the content, I sometimes block ppl because they pop up on my feed to frequently or smth like that" but ngl sometimes it's like " no, tell me the reason!" So yeah ur valid for feeling a little miffed, and if you want to be upset, I'll be upset with you! Lmao sending lots of love

(link!)

COOKIE, i'm so glad to see u! i felt bad about not getting to ur last ask, so it's nice that you're still around💓💓💓

this absolutely IS shinso and it's gonna drive me insane to think about LOL, the way not even his closest friends know how deep he is into his lil crush.

like him still being his somewhat cold self on the outside, trying to focus on work and business, literally MALFUNCTIONING when u just get coffee at the same time as him, pass him in the halls, sit next to him in meetings.

he's an underground hero for gods sake, he shouldn't be flustered over little things like that. AND YET, deep down he's so loving and romantic and dedicated that he just can't help the way he aches for you! kasdfnkjlladsjfkjadfmkl, truly.

(takes him like two whole years to work up the nerve to say anything about it to you, and even then he struggles being casual about it bc he doesn't want to show that he's scared of your rejection. just kiss him already!!!)

this also reminds me a bit of ... kirishima, honestly??? he's a little more forward LOL but he's such a mess over you in the crushing stages at first. doesn't want bakugo to pick at him for it, or even for you to think he's being too forward or something... arg, i love that dude (and you, too!).

(the type to go out with the boys and sigh the whole time bc he wishes he could've invited u. and then when he's asked what's wrong is just like: "ahhh you know. nothing :-)" BITCH!!)

lolol, this was such a cute thought! thank u for stopping by with it<3

-

and about the blocking ... YEAH. like i just wish i knew the reason, so at least i wouldn't have to wonder if i ... hurt someone unintentionally. ofc i stand by a lot of my decisions / actions too so maybe it's totally justified... but still.

and there ended up being a third person who blocked me recently too, which just made me even more DAM!!! (even tho i'll be fine in the end).

but i appreciate the concern (and upset-ness hehe) cookie! lots of love to you, too and hope you're well!🖤

#shinso #kirishima #god why is shinso like ... thee guy ever #i love him so much and i always forget #i wanna talk abt him more!! #at least my version of him lol he's SO smexy in my mind #i just wanna put him in a taco and eat him up UGH #big beefy boy smart and kinda mean but then he's like. soft as caramel inside ... head empty no think just loves u #FAK.JSDKHFJKASDLHF.JDJFAN #and kiri cracks me up too #tries to be so casual leaning on his locker #ends up breaking the whole thing bc he was staring at u too long and too wistfully #LOL i'll go now but ily cookie !!! #undecidedcookie #caitie things #gen

[triviareads]

ARC Review of Second Duke's the Charm by Kate Bateman

Rating: 3.75/5 Heat Level: 3.5/5 Publication Date: December 26th

Premise:

Tess Townsend, the dowager Duchess of Wansford, was widowed and left a virgin after her decrepit husband dropped dead before their wedding night. Two years later, Tess wants to learn about sex and intimacy, and finds a handsome stranger to do just that with at a house party. As it later turns out, the stranger is none other than Justin Thornton, the new Duke of Wansford.

My review:

There's a lot I enjoyed about this book— the friendship between Tess, Daisy, and Ellie was a delight to read. They are truly Tess's ride-or-dies and can be relied upon for anything from moving a dead body to giving sartorial advice on lingerie. And I loved the detective agency aspect, which made for a fun subplot.

This book is pretty sex-positive as far as historical romances go, which I did appreciate. A lot of it is about Tess's sexual exploration as a widow (all while her friends gleefully egg her on), and there's frank conversations about virginity being a social construct, contraception, and pregnancy.

Regarding the romance of it all, there isn't a lot of the conflict you'd expect between an upper-class aristocrat and a self-made magnate who is the heir to her late-husband's title, especially after their first encounter was anonymous. Justin is a very cool and rational sort, so he skips a the melodrama in the early stages of their relationship and immediately proposes a marriage of convenience (which, as one of Tess's friends points out, has as much to do with his dick as it does for "sensible" purposes, as he ostensibly claims). The drama only comes into play post-marriage as Justin starts to fall in love with Tess (which he swore he'd never do but... of course he does), all while growing increasingly paranoid about his wife's intentions towards him. Tess, on the other hand, is just vibing around truffle hunting and trying to foil blackmail plots lolol. Ultimately, Justin's big grovel (yes, there's a grovel) is about humbling himself by doing something extremely dumb and illogical after he spent the entire book trying to treat their marriage as a purely unemotional endeavor.

My one note regarding the plot is that there are lots of seemingly high-stakes situations initially set up: there's a blackmail plot, a possible attempted murder plot, plus, Tess hasn't told her husband she co-owns a detective agency (similar to the subplots in many a Grace Callaway Lady Charlotte's Society of Angels book). They were set up well, but as the book went on, I feel like they grew increasingly low-stakes and the outcomes were somewhat underwhelming.

The sex:

There are plenty of hot and inadvertently funny moments during sex scenes because Tess is trying *so hard* to seem like a sexually-experienced woman when she's very much.... not, but the greatest thing is, it mostly works. Like, starting from their first encounter at the masquerade, Tess has Justin (allegedly the smooth, unemotional type) WHEEZING after a mid handjob. And that sets the stage for their sexual relationship through the rest of the book. Some of my favorite moments include:

a) Their wedding night for the reasons mentioned above I won't spoil it but Tess's plan was hysterical), plus, I love a good "say my name" moment.

b) There is a great carriage scene, and I will say, I do appreciate the inclusion of dirty print images as a form of (inadvertently hands-on) sex education

c) For those of us who felt *cheated* by that scene in A Wallflower Christmas by Lisa Kleypas where St. Vincent insinuates he's going to use a pearl necklace on Evie, except we never saw the follow-through... this is your book.

Overall:

If you're looking for a fun, light historical romance centered around sexual exploration and plenty of girl-gang shenanigans, then I'd recommend this book!

#netgalley #arc #arc review #kate bateman #St. Martin's Press #romance novels #historical romance

[marshmallowprotection]

I may be optimistic, but I like to think that after everything with Mint Eye and the agency died down (bc tbf the government would have so much to deal with regarding a cult and a literal spy organization), Saeyoung and SE Saeran don't have to stay in the bunker.

Let my boys live in a cottage with mc in the countryside. Let Saeran be able to have a garden and chickens and see the sky whenever he wants. Let Saeyoung have a mini observatory where he can watch the stars, but also can just lay in the grass at night and stargaze.

I want them to be able to be able to live, not just survive. They should be able to go to the store or to the movies without fear. They should be able to appear on TV with the rest of the RFA at parties without worrying Saejoong will find them and their little family. Because I imagine the RFA would accept Saeran readily into their ranks, they would become the family the twins deserve so, so much.

MC and Vanderwood are already part of their family, but give me Yoosung teaching Saeran how to play LOLOL. Give me Jaehee opening her café and hiring Saeran to help part time. Give me Jumin- who was given the chance to love something without worrying it was fake in the form or Elizabeth III- who gives Saeran what he was given all those years ago: a pet, whether it be a cat or dog or hamster. Gimme Zen being a protective big brother to the twins.

The boys deserve it, and thinking of them trapped in the bunker forever makes me sad.

Now, when I say that they're going to be in the bunker for a little while, I don't think they're going to be there forever. I do think that sooner or later they're going to have to face their father. There's no way that he's not going to become a problem.

He's going to become a problem.

Saejoong will come after his illegitimate sons. It's not a matter of if he will do it, it's a matter of when he will decide to strike. It will come to be. The only reason that they are staying in the bunker, for the time being, is because it is safer that way. Saeyoung is a paranoid person.  He makes a contingency plan on top of contingency plans. He has a doomsday scenario in his head for multiple bad things.

He is prepared for anything to go wrong in the blink of an eye. He is ready for something to go wrong. He just knows that something will go wrong in his head and he needs to have as much control as he can over a situation to be able to protect the people he cares about. It's going to be the hardest thing for him to deal with after the events of the secret ending. 

His paranoia could consume him. If you are his MC, you need to be aware of this. You need to be on top of this because it is going to be the main problem in your relationship dynamic. 

He is learning how to not be as paranoid. He lets up his control and his fear the more that he learns to trust the people around him. But at his very core… he’s just afraid. He's afraid of something or someone hurting his loved ones. He is paranoid for logical reasons and we can understand why he is the way that he is. The problem will be that he's going to have to learn how to rationally be paranoid and how to watch himself before he becomes irrationally paranoid. 

You stay in the bunker because he can control that. He can control who can get in and who can get out. There's a process to it. He's not pushing people around because he wants to lock them in a place where they can never get out. This is all about trying to protect the people that he cares about. 

You're not going to stay there forever. The hard times are going to come when you have to deal with his father. But, you're going to get through it. You will survive it and you will come out of it stronger. Then you will be able to imagine a happier future where they are free to do anything that they choose to do. It's going to look different than the ending that happens in Saeran’s After Ending, but it’s going to be a free one. The dynamic is different and the reality isn't the same but freedom is on the horizon.

So, whatever you want to imagine after that? Fair game.

#ask #anon #mod kait #character analysis #secret ending #saeran choi #se saeran #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #choi saeran

[jabitha-endgame]

I've been trying really hard to tune out (and then block) the inherent and systemically racist tropes that some people in a certain corner of the fandom keep trying to assign to Tabitha while insisting her race has nothing to do with it but today despite my best efforts I had to read the words "she is not entitled to the relationship" and I just 😤🤬🤯🤮🤬 DAMN! NO WORDS

I have a few! 😂

Anyone who says Tabitha feels "entitled" to a relationship with Jughead should absolutely be ignored. A certain corner of the fandom is really pressed that Jabitha got "I Love You"s while they are currently grasping onto props in the background for validation of their ship.

Women of color, and especially black women have always been shafted in fandom (especially when they are romantically involved with the fan favorite white boy). This isn't anything new, and it's certainly nothing new for Riverdale. Certain people can try all they want to erase Jughead's clear feelings for Tabitha with their language and try to remove Jughead's agency in his own relationship, but the fact of the matter remains - Jughead loves Tabitha.

How can Tabitha feel "entitled to the relationship" when they are together and Jughead wants to be with her?? All of their arguments are based on their racist perceptions of Tabitha anyway, they use everything on screen to rationalize what they want to happen (and not to make actual valid readings/interpretations of the show because they ignore canon and strip everything of it’s original context). Some readings/interpretations of the show are flat out wrong. Period. End of discussion. Betty and Jughead saying “hey” as a greeting to each other in the school for 3 seconds did not foreshadow they would sing Hey #3 in the musical. (other characters also said hey to each other that season lolol). Betty going over to Archie’s house to ask if Jughead was there wasn’t because she wanted to see Jughead - it was because she specifically wanted him NOT to be there. Some takes are factually incorrect and not supported by canon, no matter how many gifsets and screen shots people take out of context and prescribe their own meaning to.

"Tabitha is Jughead's babysitter, she is Bughead's cheerleader, she is Jughead's mammie". All of these great Bughead "talking points" are explicitly racist and don't deserve to be validated or discussed as if they hold any merit. I'm glad everything they say makes me beyond confused, I don't ever want to understand the headspace of a bitter racist.

I don't know what show they are watching where they think Tabitha feels entitled to him and his love, she has earned that through all of her tender, sweet, and loving interactions with her bae.

Tabitha is here. She is allowed to take up space. She is allowed to be loved by Jughead. She is allowed to love Jughead back. She is allowed to run her business. She is allowed to be messy, to have feelings, to have insecurities, to have a temper, to have a voice, to discover herself. She is allowed TO. BE. A. CHARACTER.

I would continue to just block/ignore trolls, especially trolls who throw around racist tropes and terminology when talking about Tabitha. Clear that garbage out of here. Let them fester in their own delusions and unhappiness. All of their aggression online comes from being unhappy with the show. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy Riverdale (this makes them especially angry).

#riverdale #jabitha #jughead jones #tabitha tate #ask tag #racists don't get a voice #JUGHEAD LOVES TABITHA #TABITHA LOVES JUGHEAD #when the Jabitha sex scene happens I just know they are going to lose their minds

[isshuns]

word dump

untitled kuroken fic in the lex miserables series :’) tw: eating problems, feeling disconnected from oneself, anxiety, idk if there’s depression in this lolol

the realisation that something is wrong with himself comes to kenma one day when hinata invites him to one of the firm’s after-work bonding sessions. 

these bonding sessions usually take place on friday evenings, taking advantage of the happy hour policies of the bar down the street. the usual participants - tora, ryuu, noya, inuoka, lev and hinata - gather by kenma’s door while hinata beams at him expectantly, waiting for his acceptance to an invite that goes rejected every week. 

it’s admirable, really, that hinata tries so hard to include him in the after-work team bonding sessions. it’s a benefit fully paid for by the firm, courtesy of the partners insisting that any costs for team bonding ought to be shouldered by the employers, but kenma is always the last person to ever take advantage of this benefit. it is probably the one single benefit of his employment that he rarely takes advantage of. 

“come on, kenma, it’ll be fun!” hinata grins, radiant like the sun. 

kenma blinks, steals a glance at the time displayed by the corner of his desktop, and sighs.

“sorry, shouyou, not today.” it ought to get easier each passing time he rejects hinata’s offer to drink themselves silly, but somehow it isn’t. the guilt that crawls through his skin consistently makes him sick with anxiety every time.

“it’s okay, next time, kenma! i’ll be sure to get you to come one day!” 

hinata is welcome to try.

hunger faintly registers itself in his brain, but he has no appetite at all. he works backwards to identify his thought patterns for the past few days. he either stress-ate and had more meals per day than he usually did, or he didn’t eat at all despite knowing that he would get hungry the next day, 

if kuroo noticed anything, kenma is only grateful that he hasn’t commented on it at all. 

it feels strange, swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other end back and forth day by day. at the end of the journey, all kenma feels is bone deep exhaustion, bitter hopelessness and a sense of resignation.

on one day, he felt better, and indulged himself with an expensive unagi bento set from the michelin starred sushi restaurant down in roppongi. without digging in yet, he passed by his favourite bakery, saw his favourite apple pies fresh out of the oven, and bought two large slices on impulse. 

kenma ate everything in one go for dinner. in the aftermath, the food he ingested probably washed away all the good cheer he had too. he felt sick, fat, and sluggish with too much food in his now round belly, and desperately wished that his stomach would stay flat forever instead. kenma felt disgusted with himself then, but not to the point he would stick his finger down his throat and purge everything out of his disgestive system. it was a passing thought, one he gave serious consideration to, but did not act on it because kuroo would find out. 

the next day, he somehow felt dissatisfied, craved for the hash browns from mcdonald’s, and bought a breakfast set on a whim. kenma finished the entire meal on the way to work. and then he had lunch with the department, and by the time the sun was setting across the tokyo skyline, he lowkey disliked the feeling of ingesting food so much that he skipped dinner that night and forgoed all proper meals for the remaining days of the week. he survived on one single meal during lunch time, and continued to drown in the loss of appetite.

kenma hates this. he hates his relationship with food. he hates that therapy isn’t helping him to deal with this, that all the coping techniques he’s learned throughout therapy never prepared him for this. his next session with takeda-san is scheduled after another three weeks or so, and kenma is about to fling himself off the tokyo bridge if he has to continue surviving the days like this. 

after hinata leaves, kenma continues to stare at his desktop, a blank expanse stretched across the monitor. he’s supposed to start on the submissions after trial for a case, but the cursor continues to blink and taunt him from the beginning of the blank page. 

quietly, kenma slides open the drawer beside him, and quietly peruses the takeout menu kuroo left on his table last week before he travelled to hokkaido for a week-long trial. the yellow post-it note is still stuck onto the top left corner of the flyer. 

just in case you don’t feel like going out for meals~, it reads. 

it ought to feel endearing, and it would have, but kenma is stuck in some sort of fugue state with no exit in sight. so all he feels is emptiness, and disappointment in himself for failing to appreciate and capture the true emotion the post-it note meant to provide. 

distantly, kenma feels the signs of hunger incoming. all he had for today was one salmon mayo onigiri from the local familymart at ground floor at noon. right now, time has trickled by and is inching closer towards 8pm. with the pandemic, restaurants will close soon. 

i should order something, kenma tells himself, but the lack of appetite overpowers all semblance of rationality, disconnects his thoughts and shuts down his brain. by the time kenma leaves the office, the takeout menu is tucked back into the drawer, out of sight, out of mind.

-----------------------------------

kenma hears the sound of something frying coming from his apartment before he actually smells food in the air. the train leading home was oddly empty today for a friday evening, and kenma had almost the entire carriage to himself. hunger never came back to find him while he stared blankly out of the windows, lost to the static buzzing across his mind.

kuroo is back today, early, his brain tells him unhelpfully as he fishes out his key and unlocks the door, kuroo is cooking.

his mouth waters at the smell of fried oil wafting through the air, but somehow he still doesn’t feel hungry, nor does he feel the need to eat. if he doesn’t exert himself tonight and sleeps early, kenma is confident that he can power through the night without sustenance until lunchtime next morning. 

“welcome home~” kuroo chimes, voice rising above the sizzling sound of hot oil frying in a pan. 

kenma doesn’t need to wait for long before his partner appears before him in the genkan, ridiculous pink apron draped in front of his expensive armani dress shirt as he brandishes a pair of long chopsticks in kenma’s face.

“i cooked dinner.” kuroo declares proudly. because i know you have not eaten yet, goes unsaid.

what should kenma say now? i know, or that’s nice, or perhaps i’m not hungry? which response should he give that would not trigger kuroo to overreact and fuss over his recent lack of appetite? kenma doesn’t want kuroo to worry again. kuroo should only smile, and not have to worry about his wellbeing.

kuroo must have picked up on his mental dilemma, and gives him the easy way out. 

“why don’t you go wash up? i’ll be done in five, then we can eat together.” he smiles, and ducks to peck a chaste kiss on kenma’s forehead before going back to the kitchen.

kenma’s heart twists in guilt. 

when he’s done showering, kenma stands in front of the wardrobe mirror in nothing but kuroo’s oversized shirt hanging off his wiry frame. his face is thinner now, cheek bones more prominent. his fingers travel down from his jawline to press against the collarbones hidden beneath pale skin. 

the hard touch of bones brings him comfort, somehow. with this, kenma will never have to feel disgusted with himself by eating too much and having food fill up his stomach. the sick feeling that he gets from eating one meal too much a day won’t return to haunt him anymore like this. his brain is now quiet, nothing is telling him that he needs to eat, that he needs to pick up the phone to order for food, that he needs to put on decent clothes and walk down the street to get food.

nothing, except kuroo, who is walking up to him this instant, fond expression painted across his handsome features, and planting his large hands over his hipbones.

“have i ever told you how much i love seeing you in my shirt?” kuroo dips his head and presses a kiss against kenma’s shoulder. 

kenma rolls his eyes. kuroo’s smile grows wider, brighter, and he releases him after stroking his thumbs across kenma’s hipbones not once but twice.

“come, kenma,” kuroo leads him to the table, where a bowl of udon and assorted tempura awaits him. kenma’s shoulders drop a little more. 

“eat,” kuroo says.

kuroo takes a seat across him, still smiling, and waits for kenma to start digging in. instead, kenma waits and counts the seconds it would take for that smile to disappear off kuroo’s face. 

in this house, there is no need to pretend to force food down his oesophagus and feel shitty about it later. kenma chooses not to touch his food, just like how kuroo hasn’t touched his either. 

“are you feeling unwell, kenma?” the smile is still there, perched on kuroo’s lips, but kenma notices the way it tightens a little and loses the casualness it once possessed mere seconds ago.

“... no.” 

“are you not hungry?”

kenma fidgets in his seat. how does he tell kuroo that he just doesn’t feel like eating? that he looks at food and his brain doesn’t tell him to consume them for sustenance anymore? 

“yeah. i’m not hungry, sorry, after you cooked and all that.” he says, quietly, like the walls of this house have ears and nowhere is safe for his ugly feelings to go. 

“that’s alright, kenma. you don’t have to be sorry, we can save this for lunch tomorrow.” kuroo gestures vaguely in the air, “we have snacks. eat something. let’s not go to bed on an empty stomach.” 

kenma shrinks further into his seat. he really doesn’t want to eat at all today, for some reason. the thought of food swimming in his stomach makes him feel a little sick. 

“hey, kenma,” kuroo reaches out to touch him, voice soft, “what’s wrong? you can tell me, I won’t be mad.”

kuroo stands from his seat, and comes to sit beside kenma and pull the latter into his arms. he always comes to him, never the other way around. kenma doesn’t know what to make of it, but he feels touched yet guilty at the same time. he knows he should reach out to kuroo more often, reassure him whenever things are looking up, but it’s always kuroo that reaches out first because he knows and understands how difficult it is for kenma step out of his anxiety and take the first step. 

kenma doesn’t deserve kuroo’s love. he will never be worthy of his affections.

“i just... don’t feel like eating. lately.” the last word comes out softer, barely a whisper, but from the way kuroo’s arms tighten around his shoulders, kenma knows kuroo has picked up the intended meaning behind his words. 

“it’s okay to feel that way,” kuroo tells him kindly, “it’s okay.”

“i don’t know why. i just... feel disconnected, somehow, from myself.” 

“thank you for telling me, kenma. what can i do to help?”

kenma wants to cry. well, at least that’s a feeling other than emptiness in him now.

“I don’t know, kuro.”

“we’ll figure it out. it’s okay, we’ll take baby steps, one step at a time. i will be here with you to support you.”

kenma closes his eyes and leans against kuroo’s lean body. he buries his nose into the juncture between kuroo’s neck and shoulder, seeking warmth and comfort. he feels the tension seep out of kuroo’s shoulders when kenma finally reciprocates, knowing that kenma isn’t closing himself off to the world now, to kuroo. the door leading to kenma’s being is still open and nobody has slammed any door closed yet.

kenma sighs.

“thank you,” he says.

[feifood]

Heyo sweetie! How are you? I'm here for a delicious HxH matchup~ 👀

Okay so I'm a she/her and bisexual (maybe I lean more towards guys?? Who knows).

My personality type is INTJ and my zodiac sign is Virgo, a short way to say that I'm also a rational and knowledgeable introvert.

My physical appearance... Well first of all, as you know, I'm short (5'1) and my hair is short, brown and wavy/curly. My eyes are dark brown and the right one randomly decides to go hazel/green when the day is a lot sunny, people always point out about my eyelashes being naturally long and my stare being "piercing"?. Lastly, my skin is really pale and cold due anemia!

Personality wise... I can say I'm a silent and shy person at first but then when I open up, I'm almost extroverted and loud! It's rare for me to really trust someone tho, since I choose carefully my friends. And I'm a bit smart I think?

My friends perceive me as that genius-like person that acts like a dumbass and has a low self-esteem.

The best trait of my personality is how loyal I am while the worst is my tendency to hide what I feel really often.

My life-long hobbies are reading and writing. My other favourite activities are discovering new things (both experiences and informations), drawing, playing the piano and doing martial arts!

Favourite song: oh god I have too many... But my faves for now are "emperor's new clothes" by Panic! At The Disco, "Kingslayer" by BMTH and "Black Dahlia" By Hollywood Undead!

Favourite food: I breath for curry with rice!

Pet peeves: okay... My biggest pet peeves are people who chew loud along with people that talk about things they don't even have a clue about (like... Faking you are an actually an expert in what you are saying).

Favourite fanfic trope: angst and historical AU 💀💀💀 but I read nearly anything so you are free in this field. 👀

I think that's all! I hope it isn't too long AHAHAHA for any doubt or question feel free to ask me! <3 tysm and remember to take care of yourself!💕

I match you up with ...

Kite !!

When Kite first met you he was so intrigued, your shy demeanour that he just knew had an exciting and colourful personality behind it - he had to learn more. And it turns out he was right, the more time you two spend together, the more exchanges that were had, the warm evenings playing a soft song in the background as you told him about your past. He’s learned he could listen to you forever. Not to mention, the very humbling side of you. Someone who’s so wise yet so mature about it, never acting kiddish and shoving it into people’s faces. Kita prides himself in knowing the real you, the kind soul that would never do anyone wrong, who’s loyal and always prioritizes others first, even if it may not be beneficial to you. As well, he loves being the one person that you can open up to. He knows it’s hard, he knows you might turn your back to the concept of vulnerability sometimes; but at the same time you always know he’s there for you. That no matter how many times you fall and crumble down, he’s always behind you to pick you back up and put you on your feet. You’re someone that’s unbelievably strong and Kite is someone that will always make sure you never break. 

ALYY HI ALY omg reading all this and learning about you was soso fun !! I HOPE YOU’RE COMFORTABLE BEING MATCHED UP WITH KITE -- IM TRYING TO MATCH PEOPLE UP WITH SOMEONE THAT WOULD BE AN INTERESTING MATCH FOR THEM (if that even makes sense) SO IM JUST PRAYING THAT YOU DON’T HATE KITE LOLOL

ANYWAYS thank you so much for participating, this was so so fun to write and you have a great night/day lovely <33333

#fei.MatchupEvent

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

there is more to life than just romantic relationships

Hello anon! Thank you for popping in ^_^

And you are absolutely right! There is so much more to life then having a romantic relationship, and logically I know that (at least I like to think of lolol) but it’s hard for me to be logical when my emotions are so high. And whatever I’m feeling I tend to feel it at 110%. I know my life’s meaning and purpose doesn’t revolve around having a gf , but when I feel lonely and rejected and have no one to love and hug and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone - all while seeing others in relationships- it’s gets very hard for me to be rational about any of this. Because I want one so badly and I feel so lonely it’s hard to really think about anything else. And I always end up telling myself OBVIOUSLY there must be something really special and different with having a romantic partner as opposed to just friends , otherwise people wouldn’t date , wouldn’t go after people they love, wouldn’t get married. And I want what they have. I want to have someone who looks at me and loves me just as much as I love her. Someone to hug and share happiness and sadness with.

And I think for me I don’t really have a lot in my life at the moment. So it’s not like I have a lot to look forward to or invest positive emotions into. And I know that’s problematic in itself because I can’t expect my potential partner to carry the burden of being my happiness, I know that’s something I need to do myself. But I still can’t help but want one. I know it won’t fix all my problems, but I figure it would make fighting through them a bit easier and more worth while. Knowing I have someone who loves me as I am and believes I can do this.

But I know it’s still an emotion I need to work on. And I know logically I probably don’t have much to offer someone right now anyway so it’s probably not fair on my part to even try and seek out a relationship. But that doesn’t really stop me from being a lonely sad poo about it all ahaha.

But thank you again for popping in! I hope you have a really nice day 💕🌸

#asks #anon #answered

[just-jordie-things]

What Happened 27 Years Later - Richie Tozier

word count: 18k warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, gore summary: 27 years after the horrid summer of ‘89, (y/n) gets a call that the Losers Club need her to come back to Derry to put an end to It once and for all.  But she’s got quite a history with Richie Tozier, and she’s not sure how great of an idea seeing him again is. (a/n): after IT Chapter 2 I got the inspiration to write for the fandom again, not sure if I'll stick with it or not but enjoy this super long fic anyways lolol

___

When Mike Hanlon called on that fate damning day, (y/n) had almost forgotten that it had been twenty some odd years since she’d seen her childhood friends.  Or even heard from them.  And despite the wave of nostalgia she felt when she heard his voice, a part of her still wanted to make up a reason as to why she couldn’t go back to Maine.  Any excuse would have worked, she was an excellent liar.  

“(y/n), you have to come back,” Mike had pleaded into the line.  “IT’s back, (y/n).  We promised”

Her heart sank to her gut, and it was as though her insides were digesting themselves.  All rational thought told her to decline, to go back on her promise, to tell Mike she would never step foot in Derry again.  But instead, what came out of her mouth was-

“Of course.  I’ll get the first flight out tomorrow”

It was like her instincts kicked in and spoke for her, knowing that she was going to do everything in her power to avoid going back to that hellhole of a town.  For years she’d rebuilt her life, pushed down her trauma, lost the memories of the horrors that occured when she was just a child.  And not even just that fucking clown.

“See you soon, (y/n/n).  RIchie will be glad to know you’re coming”

He hung up before she could catch her breath, not having heard either of those names in… well, twenty seven years. ___

“(y/n/n)! Richie! Get the hell over here before we fuckin’ leave without you!” Eddie screamed from outside, where him and the rest of the Losers Club were waiting with their bikes to head to the quarry.

“We’ll just meet you there!” Richie called back through (y/n’s) open window.  She was preoccupied with packing up her backpack with adventure necessities.

“No we won’t!” (y/n) added in a holler, shaking her head at Richie.  “Come on, let’s go now” She said, throwing her backpack on her shoulders.

“No,” Richie whined as he dragged his feet after her.  “Can’t we go on our own in a few minutes?

“Why?” (y/n) laughed, grabbing a can of rootbeer from the fridge on her way out the door.  “That desperate for some alone time?” She added in an overly theatrical sultry tone, laughing at her own funny voice.

Being Richie’s best friend had definitely rubbed off on her.

“Well, yeah” Richie chuckled, hoping he could just laugh over the awkwardness.

(y/n) spun on her heel, the corner of her lip tugging upwards even though she bit her cheek to keep from grinning.  It was kinda hard not to smile at him when he gave her that dorky look.

“Come on,” She giggled softly, tugging on his wrist with the hand that wasn’t holding a rootbeer, and pressing a quick and chaste kiss to his cheek.  “Our friends are waiting”

With that, he groaned, but nevertheless followed her out the door.

He’d follow her anywhere. ___

They were going to meet at a chinese restaurant.  Well, the chinese restaurant, the only one in the small town of Derry.  The one that they went to after getting plastered prom night, the one they went to to pick up dumplings to sneak into the Aladdin.  It had so many hazy memories surrounding it.  The more (y/n) tried to remember, the less she could actually recall.

It almost felt like they were made up.  Instead of being precious childhood memories, they felt like dreams she’d had years ago and could only vaguely remember.  They were real, though, right?

It was strange, second guessing herself when it came to some of her memories of growing up in Derry.  Especially the ones with-

“(y/n),” A voice announced behind her, like they’d forgotten her name until the moment they saw her standing outside the restaurant.  She spun around, staring wide eyed at Big Bill Denbrough.  “Hey” He breathed out, and once again her instincts kicked in, making her feet move until she was in his arms, hugging him tightly, and burying her face in his coat.

“I can’t believe… I can’t believe you’re here.  That I’m here even” She chuckled bittersweetly as she pulled away, eyes flickering over Bill’s features.  He’d aged well, all things considered.

“Yeah, me neither, to be honest,” He gave a half assed laugh, shoving his hands into his pockets.  “Well look at you, what are you up to these days?”

“I uh… I’m living in New York now…” She started, nodding her head slowly.  “Trying to be a journalist but… it’s hard these days, you know?”

“Oh really? I’m writing too… got a few things published but I’m in a bit of a stump right now”

(y/n) gave him a small smile, and nodded her head.  She had dealt with her fair share of writer’s block.

Mike was the next to show up, and again they played catch up, and he told them that he’d started working at the library, and had never left Derry.  This confused both Bill and (y/n) but neither criticized him for it.

Then came Beverly, whose presence was enough to make things easier, and conversation seemed less forced.  It must be her wit and charm.  They were all grateful that she didn’t grow out of it.

Eddie arrived not too long after, jittery and awkward as usual, but it was endearing.

Ben gave them all a surprise, he’d grown up real well, and seemed to finally have some confidence in himself as well.  (y/n) started to wonder if everyone really was doing as great as they were saying.  If they were all doing better than her.

Or maybe it was because she wasn’t around.

The more the others started to catch up and get into a more natural conversation, the quieter she became, observing them, seeing how happy they all were together.  She debated whether they would notice if she left right now, if she turned and walked down the alley, and then flagged down a cab to take her straight back to the airport.

“Well look at all you motherfuckers standing around outside in the cold!”

Suddenly she was drawn right back into reality, perking up to see Richie Tozier getting out of a cab, rubbing his hands together and then stuffing them into his coat pockets.  He was grinning from ear to ear, that same, dorky, adorable grin.  That grin made (y/n) certain that she was remembering Derry correctly, that it wasn’t all made up in her head.

His smile went soft when his gaze landed on her, while Bill was greeting him with a hug, and Eddie was making fun of how he must’ve never cut his hair, which hung in messy curls just past his ears.

“Hey,” He said, after what felt like a lifetime passed.  Bill let go of him and he wandered up to (y/n), a disbelieved scoff of a laugh escaping his lips.  “Wow, look at you, toots,” His hands wrapped around her shoulders, squeezing them gently as he smiled at her up and down.  “Sure grew up to be a Maxim model huh?”

Finally, she made a sound, laughing and punching his shoulder before he tugged her against him for a hug.

“Well c’mere rascal,” He said as he wrapped his arms around her tight, and it felt natural to rest her cheek against his chest.  “Missed ya”

“Missed you too, Rich,” She mumbled against his coat.  Even though she hadn’t missed him until she saw him again, just now.  “But- uh- what about you?” She asked, pulling away far too quickly for Richie’s liking, and wrapping her arms around herself.  It was to keep warm, but Richie knew it was a defense mechanism.

“Oh, you know, LA, radioshow, adult life and all that bullshit” He rolled his eyes, and (y/n’s) lips parted as though to convince him otherwise, but she quickly shut it and nodded her head awkwardly.

“Right” She mumbled, and everyone filed into the restaurant. ___

“Alright, my turn.  What’s your dream job?” (y/n) asked curiously while she unrolled a fruit roll up.

“My dream job?” Richie scoffed at the question.  “We’re paying a game where you can ask anything you want, and I have to answer honestly.  And you still haven’t asked how big my-”

“Beep beep!” (y/n) screeched before giggling.  “Jesus Rich, it’s my turn, and that’s my question”

“Alright alright…” Richie trailed off, staring up at the sky while he thought.

They’d been laying on her roof for a few hours now.  Originally they’d just come outside because the sun was setting, and (y/n) thought it would be neat to watch.  But the sun had long set, and the stars were twinkling in the inky sky now.  They’d gone back inside, only to get a blanket to rest on, and snacks to keep them energized through their game.

“What do you think I’d even be good at?” He finally asked.  “I mean, really, besides flipping burgers at Burger King, what is there for me?”

“What?” (y/n) hummed, looking over at him and furrowing her brows.  “Richie, you’re good at everything.  You could be… a professional dancer-”

“What the fuck!?”

“Or a doctor-”

“Opposite sides of the spectrum toots-”

“Maybe a love doctor then,” She giggled, and then looked over to see Richie furrowing his brows and shaking his head at her ridiculousness.  “What? You’re flirty, you’ve got moves.  But if not that then-”

“Why do you believe in me so fucking much?” He cut her off again, this time quietly, and his eyes stared into hers seriously, trying to figure her out.

“What do you mean?” She replied.  “Why wouldn’t I?”

Of course, he could give her his endless list of reasons why she shouldn’t.  But she’d spoken so confusedly, like the very idea of not believing in him never once crossed her mind.  Something about it was so sweet, so innocent, so loving, that he forgot all about his hidden insecurities, and instead was overcome with adoration for this girl.

He realized he must’ve been thinking and staring at her for too long, because her brows drew together like she was worried about him.

“Richie? Are you alright?”

He nodded, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips, and his hand reached out to take hers, the one that wasn’t holding a fruit roll up.  Despite blushing at the action while he intertwined their fingers, she was still confused by the action.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ marry you one day” He announced, and (y/n) let out a laugh, surprised by the comment.

“Why?” She asked through her giggles, eyeing their connected hands.

It wasn’t like it was the first time Richie held her hand.  He did it all the time, the boy craved physical attention.  But something about laying on the roof, stargazing, and his hand in hers, was different.

“No one in this goddamn town’s good enough for you anyways.  Your other options are a group of psychopaths, or the vapid dick-twitches from school-”

“Alright, alright,” (y/n) squeezed his hand, getting him to stop running his mouth.  “So you’re my ideal husband then, huh?”

“Sure am toots,” Richie grinned at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back at him.  “What do you say, when we do it, we move the fuck outta Maine”

“When we do it?” (y/n) repeated, and moved to lay on her side to give him her full attention.  Their hands still clasped together between them.  “You’re serious? You actually want to-”

“Hell yeah,” He answered sincerely, but the dopey smile on his face made (y/n) curious if he was being serious or not.  “Why not?”

She let out a huff, eyes wide, somehow still surprised by Richie and his antics.  After all these years, he still managed to sweep her off her feet with surprise.

“Because we’re seventeen!” She exclaimed.  “I don’t even know where I want to go to college yet- or even what to major in and-and you want to get married?”

“Hm,” Richie hummed, as he contemplated it for a moment.  “How about this then, when we’re, say, thirty? If you’re not married yet, I’ll marry you”

“Uh huh, and if we lose touch? You just gonna show up out of nowhere with a ring?” (y/n) teased, and Richie faked a glare towards her.

“You think we’re gonna lose touch? Us? No way.  Not in a million years”

She nodded her head side to side in agreement.  There wasn’t a chance the two of them could lose touch.  They were best friends, if not just a little bit closer, and dangerously sitting on the line of something more.

“Okay then, a marriage pact it is,” (y/n) chuckled.  “Shouldn’t there be like… rules?”

“Nope,” Richie said, popping his lips dramatically, and making her furrow her brows in silent question.  “Because then you’ll make a rule against me killin’ all your boyfriends so I can marry ya”

She scoffed out a laugh, before going instantly silent as she saw the serious look on his face.  She stared at him for a minute, trying to read his complex expression.  Richie was fairly good at hiding his emotions, but she had a way of getting under his skin and getting him to confess to whatever it was he was hiding.

Tonight all she had to do was raise her eyebrows, and the trashmouth caved.

“Or we can say fuck the pact, and just get married next year” He told her.  And the girl’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.

“What?” She mumbled.

“We’ll be eighteen,” Richie shrugged.  “And then we can move outta this awful fuckin’ town together.  I’ll follow you, to whatever school you choose, I’ll go with you.  I probably won’t get in but that’s alright, I’ll work, and help make rent, it’ll be fun.  Adult life shit”

(y/n) laughed breathlessly, her eyes full of wonder at how he’d thought up all of this in that eccentric mind of his.

“You want to marry me that bad, huh?” She asked softly, and Richie just grinned back at her.  “And you want to live with me? Damn Tozier… I thought you were a commitment-phobe?”

“Toots, I’ve been hanging around you for…  ten whole years now,” He told her, and his thumb began to stroke over the back of hers.  “I don’t think I’m scared of committing to you.  Do you?”

Her breath caught in her throat, and suddenly this was less fun and light hearted, and more sincere, and heavy.  And his seriousness was starting to make her heart beat a little harder in her chest.  And gravity was weighing down on her, pinning her body to the blanket and shingles underneath her.  Tears welled in her eyes from the pressure of the situation she’d found herself in.

Richie’s thumb still caressed hers.

After a long moment, she finally shook her head, unable to find her voice.

“You alright?” He asked, “You look like you’re gonna cry”

(y/n) chuckled sadly, wiping at her eyes with her free hand.

“Sorry, you just… you’ve got me thinking about the future now” She told him, and the corner of his lip tugged into a smile.

“Gotta think about it at some point toots,” He said.  “Can’t stay here forever, seventeen, in Derry.  That’s a nightmare.  This place is a nightmare”

“Yeah, it is,” She agreed quietly, eyes wandering back up to the sky for a moment.  “Not all of it though” She added, eyes wandering towards Richie’s again, only to find his gaze fixed on her still.

He gave her that big dorky grin that she loved so much, and then laughed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.  Her smaller frame fit perfectly against his, and she let out a sign, content.  Perfectly content.

“Alright then, Tozier,” She hummed, shutting her eyes as she used his arm as a pillow.  “When do you want to start this adult life?” ___

Everyone was full from the abundant amount of food they’d ordered, and were relaxing together.  The awkward tension had fizzled out as Bill tried not to brag about his novels, Ben hopelessly flirted with Beverly, and Eddie complained about the smoking habit most everyone had.  No one could deny the hole in the conversation where Stanley was supposed to be, but they tried their best to remember him how he was, and honor his life.

And then came the hard part.  The part where Mike told them about the disappearances, about the numerous children that have gone missing.  Just like they had twenty seven years ago.  

“It’s back,” Mike said solemnly, and suddenly the laughter died, and the seven of them went silent.  “It has to be Pennywise.  How else could fifteen children go missing in a week in Derry?”

(y/n) stared down at her hands in her lap, her fingers wringing together anxiously.

She wasn’t sure she could go through this again.  Her trauma had just gotten under control, as the years passed she remembered less and less of what happened, and that helped, but it could only do so much when every other thought she had tonight was a horrible memory of her life here.  It had taken so many kids when she was growing up, and once the Losers Club had figured out what was going on, she went to bed every night afraid It would take her too.  And that fear lasted for years, until she was finally old enough to strike out on her own.

It seemed the further away she’d gotten from Derry, the more distant the memories were too.

Finally, when it was too late to stick around and the owners were silently begging the group to leave, they started saying their goodbyes, and headed to the door to call cabs.

“Hey, toots, wait up,” Richie called while (y/n) was putting her coat on and making a bee-line for the door.  She paused, reluctantly, and then turned to look at him.  “You stayin’ at the hotel up the street?”

“It’s the only one in Derry… so… yeah”  She answered, quiet, and sheepish.

“Wanna split a cab?” He asked, and she didn’t know how to politely decline his offer, so she nodded silently, and he followed her outside.

November in Derry was relentlessly cold, and even in her coat, with her hands stuffed deep into it’s pockets, (y/n) was shivering, and bouncing on her feet in hopes of producing enough energy to keep warm.  While Richie was calling for a cab, she was watching her exhales visibly blow out in front of her.

“Alright, should just be a few more minutes” He told her as he stuck his phone back in his pocket.

“Hopefully sooner” (y/n) mumbled back, bringing her hands to her mouth, and cupping them together so she could blow warm air into them.

“So you’re still always cold huh?” Richie half joked.  “Nothing’s really changed then”

She looked up at him for a moment, but bashfully diverted her gaze when she saw him looking back at her, and decided instead to study her boots.

“Everything’s changed” She said quietly, shamefully.

She felt embarrassed that she’d done little to nothing to keep in touch with her friends.  Especially Richie.  But it felt even worse to realize that she’d just about forgotten them, replaced them, and created a new life in order to further stomp away the few good memories she did have in Derry.

“Yeah, I’ll bet it has” Richie replied soberly.

“And I know it has, because I have no clue what to say to you” (y/n) spoke in a whisper, her eyes round and full of sadness as she blatantly didn’t look at him.  But Richie wasn’t afraid of staring her down.

“Yeah,” He agreed.  “Me neither”

She finally met his eyes for more than two seconds, a sad sort of smile tugging on her lips.  He returned it, letting out a huff of a laugh.

“It’s really strange seeing you again, toots,” He told her, the old nickname never died, but it did sound more depressing than it once did.  “I uh… I can’t believe I almost…”

“Forgot about me?” (y/n) finished wistfully, eyebrows drawing upwards in a knowing manner.

Richie only nodded his head, and he was the one to stare down at his shoes now.

“Yeah…” (y/n) sighed, wrapping her arms around herself as she felt the coldness spread further throughout her body now.  “I mean, we were…”

“Who would’ve guessed it, huh?” He spoke sarcastically, kicking at the pavement of the sidewalk they were waiting at.

She looked at him again, at a loss of words.  It broke her heart to look at him now, to see how handsomely he’d grown up, knowing he had a whole life of his own now, without her.  And they’d once planned their life together.

“Cab’s here” Richie announced when a taxi rounded the corner.

They fell back into silence as it pulled up, and Richie got the door for her to get in first.  Always a gentleman, (y/n) thought to herself, before remembering the day he’d gotten into a mud fight with Beverly over something she couldn’t quite remember.  Well, always a gentleman with me.

She sighed contently as she relaxed in the back of the tobacco smelling cab, enjoying the hot air blowing, and rubbing her numb palms together to heat up quicker.

Richie hastily gave the driver the address, and again, it was silent.

When he let out a heavy breath, (y/n) looked over to see him fogging up the glass, and then drawing a smiley face.  She let out a laugh at the childishness, and he looked over at her with an amused smile.

Maybe not that much had changed.

When they got to the hotel, they split the pay, and Richie paid the tip, even though (y/n) argued to split that too.

They walked inside together, but stalled awkwardly in the hall by the elevators.

“I’m- uh, on the fourth floor” (y/n) said, though she wasn’t sure why.  He hadn’t asked, and she wasn’t trying to invite him to her room by any means.

“I’m on the second” Richie replied, bopping his head in a nod.  She felt relieved that he’d even responded, since she’d said something so weird.

(y/n) was mentally kicking herself, begging the elevator to get to the first floor faster, so she could go to her room and be alone sooner.  Probably to cry.  She guessed when she shut the door and was in privacy, the stress would overcome her and she’d have a mini breakdown.

“You want to go to the hotel bar for a couple drinks?” Richie spoke suddenly, just as the elevator doors opened.

It would be so easy to jump inside and press the fourth floor button and get the hell out of this situation that made her palms clammy and her knees weak.

“I’d love that” She said instead, a smile spreading across her lips that took away some of the nervous tension that blanketed the two of them.  He grinned back at her, and they abandoned the elevator to head back to the lobby. ___

After they each had a drink, it became easier to talk to one another.  And slowly the tension went away, and they could catch up about their lives.  (y/n) was eager to hear about Richie’s radio show, giggling when she realized that it probably had been his dream job.

“I should’ve known that you would find a job where you could keep all your voices,” She giggled, swirling the ice in her drink around with her straw.  “Probably talked more in them than in your usual voice”

“I’m not sure if I should be offended,” Richie declared in a british accent that he’d definitely gotten better at.  “But I’ll let it slide, since it’s you” He finished in his normal voice.

“Alright then,” She giggled softly before taking a drink.  “So, besides work, what else is new? What’s Los Angeles like?”

“Loud, full of angry people.  I love it.  You would’ve liked it-” Richie stopped himself with an awkward cough.  “At-at one time anyways, you would’ve liked it.  But you’re probably shacked up somewhere real nice in New York, huh? Big city?”

“It’s alright,” She shrugged a shoulder.  “I live in an overpriced studio apartment that I can’t afford, and can’t afford to lose” She told him, making him chuckle.

“A journalist in New York City,” Richie mused as he looked at her.  

She looked so goddamn pretty, as always.  Her hair falling in messy waves around her shoulders, wearing a simple sweater and jeans, the coat she’d been wearing hanging off the back of her chair.  She’d angled the seat to be facing him rather the counter, giving him her undivided attention.  Well, him and the near empty drink in her hand.  She was smiling, that cute smile that he hadn’t realized he’d been missing for all these years.  

“Told ya you were destined for something great-”

“Rich” (y/n) laughed, shaking her head shyly.

“What? That’s amazing!” Richie said proudly, and then in a softer and more sincere tone, “You’re amazing”

Her cheeks were pink, and she stared down at her drink so that he wouldn’t see her blushing, but he saw anyways.

“So, now’s the big question” Richie said, and she grinned back at him curiously, finishing her drink and flagging won the bartender for another.

“Shoot” She said, propping her elbow on the counter, and leaning her head in her hand while she studied him.

“What’s the boyfriend situation?” He asked boldly, and while the question made him nervous, her certainly didn’t show it.  He kept a straight but questioning face, raising a brow at the girl after she hesitated for a few moments too long.

“Uh.. no, actually,” She answered, and happily took the new drink from the bartender, just glad to have something to hold onto.  “You?”

“No boyfriends here” Richie grinned, and (y/n) chuckled but gave him a pointed look.  “Nah, you know me.  Dating isn’t my scene” He said, setting his beer bottle on the counter and watching her look skeptically at him.

“Dating isn’t your scene?” She repeated in a monotone of disbelief.  RIchie shrugged and nodded, but the smile on his face said that he knew otherwise.  “You tried to marry me, Rich” She reminded with a small laugh.

“Well, that was different,” He answered simply, but the girl’s brows furrowed and her lips parted in surprise as she shook her head.  “You were… you,” He clarified.  “But, I suppose you know that” He finished in a near mumble.  However, it did not clear up her confusion.

“Rich…”

“You don’t remember, do you?” He asked, and she shook her head, waiting for him to explain himself.  “That night I told you I wanted to marry you?” He suggested, hoping that she’d be able to remember.

He knew as well as the others that recalling memories of their childhood in Derry was the damn hardest thing to do.  But he was desperate for her to recall this one specific night.

After a few sips of her drink, and a troubled silence while she racked her brain, her eyes widened, and her head shot up to look at him, and he knew.  She remembered. ___

“Alright then Tozier,” (y/n) mumbled as she nuzzled her head on Richie’s arm.  

The small affectionate action alone nearly made his heart burst out of his chest.  He figured she could hear it, or feel it even.  Her chest was pressed against his, she had to feel his wild heart beating against hers.  But if she did, she didn’t mention it.

“When do you want to start this adult life?” She finished, sleepy eyes meeting his.  The faint smile on her lips made them look so kissable.

“As soon as fucking possible toots,” He answered with his usual dorky grin.  “Whenever you’re ready to get outta here” He added in a more sincere tone.  I’ll just… follow you”

“You’re really gonna follow me wherever I go to school, and marry me?” (y/n) asked, swallowing the nervous laugh in her throat.

It was quiet for a moment, which was very unusual for Richie, but then again, everything about his friendship with (y/n) was unusual for him.

“Of course,” He told her, not an ounce of sarcasm in his voice.  “Anywhere you wanna go, as long as you’ll take me”

“Of course” She mimicked him, voice quiet, barely a whisper, but he still caught what she said.

“Well then, next year” Richie grinned, and (y/n) nodded in agreement.

“Next year” She repeated.

Richie smiled at her, eyes flickering over her features, admiring how pretty she was in the moonlight.  She was pretty in any lighting though.  His free hand, the one that wasn’t trapped from her lying on his arm, reached up to tentatively trace over her cheekbone, before pushing her hair back behind her ear.  He didn’t miss the way her cheeks turned rosey pink from the gentle action, but he knew full well that he had that effect on her.

“You trying to make me fall in love with you tonight?” She asked, in that soft sleepy voice that made his heart soar.  She practically whispered it against his lips, the words filling the short inch between them.

He wasn’t sure what it was exactly that brought him to do it, but the moment was there and he just couldn’t not kiss her.  Not with her looking at him like that, not with her laying so close.  He was just dying to do it.

So he did, he closed the space between them, and with the hand he still had on her cheek, guided her lips to meet his in a soft and sweet kiss.  So sweet, (y/n) couldn’t quite believe it was Richie Tozier kissing her.  She wasn’t sure he’d ever been this gentle, even with her.

They parted slowly, and her eyes fluttered open to see Richie smiling back at her.

“Don’t have to make you do anything toots,” He murmured, finally answering her question.  His thumb caressed over her cheekbone.  “You did that all on your own”

She let out a huff of a laugh, eyes flickering between his, trying to figure out if he’d meant that, or if it was just another one of his grand romantic gestures.  She didn’t find even a sliver of deception.

His tongue swiped over his bottom lip, and he chuckled a bit, making her brows knit confusedly.

Confusion seemed to be the theme of the night.

“You taste like fruit roll up” He told her, and they both burst out laughing.

“Shut up” (y/n) scolded between giggles, swatting at his chest affectionately.

“Mhm, make me” He said teasingly, leaning back in again, this time letting her be the one to initiate the kiss.  She’d wasted no time in doing so. ___

“Oh my god…” (y/n) murmured, staring at Richie with wide eyes, and he chuckled at the reaction.

“That forgettable, huh?” He joked, and she rolled her eyes.  “No… I know it’s this place that made you forget.  We all forgot stuff, you know”

“But that… I can’t believe… I mean-”

She cut herself off, shaking her head, a rush of embarrassment flooding over her.

“I know,” Richie told her, hoping she wouldn’t feel guilty about it.  He’d forgotten too, for a while anyways.  “But, we’re here now?” He suggested, in an attempt to lift her spirits.  “I’m staying here the rest of the week”

“Me too,” (y/n) said, a smile pulling on her lips before hastily finishing off her drink.  Richie watched with a startled expression as she drank the rest of her liquor, and set it back on the counter.  “Wanna go do something stupid?”

“I love a woman that’s forward” Richie laughed, and followed her out of the bar without question. ___

“You know.  When you suggested we do something stupid, this isn’t exactly what I thought you had mind” Richie said.

“What’d you think I meant?” She replied innocently, peering up at him from under her lashes.

“It’s just… so cold”

She giggled, poking his bare chest, and then turning back to face the pool in front of them.

The artificial blue waters reflected off the plain white walls and the slick tiles of the room, the only light there being the spotlights from outside that barely seeped in through the windows, and the moonlight reflecting off the waters.

It was probably one in the morning by now, and the pool had long been closed.  And they were standing at the edge of it, chilly in their underwear.

As she looked down at the seven foot deep end of the pool, (y/n) was reminded of standing on a cliffside, and peering down at waters a hundred feet below her.

“I dare you to jump first” She told him, too nervous that the water would be even colder than the air in here.

“What? No, I dare you to jump first” He responded, and all the drinks in his system started to show.

She giggled at him, shaking her head and then staring down at the water again.  She was starting to think that this wasn’t her best drunk idea.  If they got caught, they’d definitely get kicked out of the hotel, and there was no way she was going to stay at her parents’ house while she was in town.  She hadn’t even told them she was in Derry this week.

“Okay, maybe this was a bad idea” She muttered as her tipsy brain began to overthink the consequences of skinny dipping in a hotel pool in the middle of the night.

“Oh come on I didn’t raise you to be a pussy” Richie said, and before she could process what he was doing, grabbed her wrist and pulled her with him as he leapt off the edge of the pool and  cannonballed into the deep end.

She barely even had time to let out a screech before she was submerged in the freezing water.  She thrashed her legs around quickly to resurface, letting out a surprised gasp.  Richie came up moments after her, pushing his wet hair back off his forehead and laughing almost maniacally.

(y/n) playfully scowled, shoving her hands in the water at him, and splashing a big wave of water into his face.

“You’re the fucking worst!” She shouted at him, her voice and the sloshing water echoing loudly in the high ceilinged room.  Despite her scolding, she was laughing, and unable to contain the grin on her face.

Maybe it was the three drinks, maybe it was the joy of the risk they were taking just by being here.  But she was overcome with excitement and laughter as they got into a splash war.  The first one to be a baby and whine about the chlorine in their eyes loses.

“Ow!” Richie cried out.

He lost.

His fists were rubbing his eyes, and (y/n) stopped splashing him, trying to stifle her giggles as she swam closer to him while he rubbed his irritated eyes.

“You’re a baby,” She teased.  “Come on, I splashed you like- twice-!”

She was cut off by a screech when Richie suddenly splashed a huge wave of icy water, directly at her face, before grabbing her shoulders and shoving her under the water.

“You tricked me!” (y/n) gasped when she came above the water again, teeth chattering while Richie just laughed at how funny she looked with her hair stuck all over her face.

“You look like a fucking newborn” He gagged in between laughter, pushing her hair back behind her head.

“Fuck off” She chastised, a breathless laugh escaping her lips.

They were treading water pretty close to one another, and his hands were still cradled around her head.  Twenty seven or so years ago, he would’ve kissed her right now.  He probably wouldn’t have been able to help himself either, just like every other time he’d ever kissed her.

“Truce?” (y/n) asked, and he laughed, nodding his head, and taking his hands off her in order to shake her outstretched hand.

“Truce” He agreed.

They swam around a bit, every once in a while surprising each other by chasing the other.  At one point, while (y/n) was swimming away from Richie, he’d grabbed her by the ankle, taking the risk of getting kicked in the face, and tugged her back towards him.

She was drunkenly laughing at the action as his arms wrapped around her torso to trap her, proudly grinning that he’d won this round.  Her hands were pressed against his chest as she giggled up at him.  Her eyes twinkled the same way they used to when she laughed, whether sober or drunk, they always lit up.

“Humor me for a minute?” He asked, and she looked at him peculiarly before nodding her head.

“Alright”

“What do you remember?” He asked, and she blew a raspberry as she raked her mind for the memories that felt vivid enough to be real.

“I remember… the Barrens…” She said slowly, and drifted out of his arms.  “I remember jumping off the cliff in our underwear, and… and we found a turtle”

“That’s the most important thing you remember?” Richie scoffed, and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Shut up I’m thinking.  Can’t think when you run your mouth”

“Alright alright, continue” The trashmouth waved his hand dramatically for her to go on, and watched her smile as another memory came to mind.

“I remember Prom night,” She added, and he smacked his hand over his eyes, groaning with embarrassment, and making her giggle.  “Dancing with… uh… Eli? Eli Hopkins?”

“Fuck you” He muttered, but she continued.

“And you scared the shit out of him.  You were too chicken shit to ask me to Prom yourself, but had no problem making the poor boy terrified to tears over dancing with me!” She teased him while laughing loudly.

“Eli Hopkins was a- he was a fuckin’ prick! I saved you” He tried to be convincing, but (y/n) didn’t buy it.

“Uh huh,” She said with a scoff of a laugh.  “And I remember throwing our own after party, getting wasted and then… well we went to that chinese restaurant we were at earlier”

Richie nodded, recalling the memory perfectly.  It was the first time he’d witnessed (y/n) drunk off her ass, and as hilarious as it was, by the end of the night, he’d been genuinely scared for her.  That was when it dawned on him that maybe he didn’t just have a little crush.

“Oh! And I remember Street Fighter,” She said, a playful smile on her face.  “You were going to-”

“-train, yes, and I did! I was great” Richie finished for her in a serious tone that made her giggle.

“Yeah, and I’d just sit there and drink slushies until you were ready to leave to do something fun,” She reminded him.  “Who was I kidding, it was very entertaining to watch you play,” She added more lovingly then she had been.  “I remember the night on my roof,” She continued softly, and Richie could already tell she was going to bring up their more intimate memories.  “I remember you kissing me, for the first time,” She said, impossibly quieter.  Her voice wasn’t echoing anymore.

Richie swallowed thickly as she swam back closer to him so that she didn’t have to raise her voice to share these specific memories.

“And the second time,” She added with a breathless laugh.  “At the arcade, after you beat your high score,” Richie smiled back at her as she went on.  “And the third time, at… at…”

(y/n) trailed off, brows furrowing together as she tried to remember where they had been, the night that Richie ran up to her, took her in his arms, and kissed her as passionately as she’d seen in the movies.

“After graduation,” Richie told her.  “That night, after the ceremony and everything”

Today was the first day of the rest of their lives.  Their real lives, the ones they were going to start outside of Derry, and no one was more eager than (y/n) was.  She’d bragged for weeks about getting into a college in New York City.  Not because of the prestige of the school, or the flashy city, but because it was far enough away from Derry, and the boy-slowly-turning-man was going to come with her.

She hoped.

She hoped he remembered his promise, to follow her wherever she so chooses.  But it had been a year since he’d made that promise, and she wasn’t sure that being with her was what he still wanted.

It was no secret that the future was a scary thing to Richie Tozier.  He didn’t handle the unknown well, or the part of growing up that required him to be an adult and make adult decisions.

She went home alone after the ceremony.  After taking a picture with the rest of the Losers to commemorate their big day, they’d said their goodbyes and parted ways.  Surprisingly, Richie left on his own without another word.  Which was very out of character for him, everyone had just assumed he’d leave with (y/n).  Including (y/n).

So as she began listing out all the things she still needed to pack for New York, she tried her best to push away the troublesome thoughts.

What if Richie didn’t want to be with her anymore? No, they weren’t anything official, and he’d only kissed her twice, which they never really talked about, but it had to count for something.  They certainly weren’t platonic kisses.  Not to (y/n), at least.

And she hadn’t thought they were platonic coming from him, but maybe… maybe he just didn’t feel the same way she did.  They way she thought he did.

When her mother yelled up the stairs for her, she had completely stopped writing in her notebook.  After only writing ‘clothes’ and ‘buy laptop’.

“Someone’s outside for you!” Her mother yelled again, and (y/n) set her things aside to head downstairs to see which one of the Loser’s were surprise visiting her.

After how awkwardly they had parted at graduation, she didn’t expect to see Richie standing at the door.

“Hey,” She greeted, forcing a smile on her face.  “What’re you doing here?” The words weren’t malicious, more curious, but there was definitely and undertone of hurt in them as she crossed her arms.

“Wanted to… uh…” Richie brought a hand to the behind of his neck, nervously tangling his fingers in his hair, before rubbing the nape of his neck.  “See you” He finished lamely.

(y/n) let out a giggle that couldn’t have been contained if she tried, and leaned against the doorframe casually.

“Well, here I am,” She told him.  “So why are you really here? You’re a shit liar you know”

Actually, he was a great liar.  She just knew him so well now that she could read his body language like an open book.  And there was something he was anxious to tell her.

“I should apologize, about today, leaving without….” He wasn’t sure what to say.  He’d told her goodbye, what else would he have said or done? “For leaving” He finished.

His eyes squeezed shut before he hung his head, mentally beating himself up for how bad he was at this.

“We all left, why are you sorry for leaving?” (y/n) asked, ducking her head so she could be a bit more under him, since his head was hanging, now she could meet his eyes.  She gave him a gentle smile, that soothed him enough to lift his head back up and look at her normally again.

“I just am, alright? I feel like shit about it” He said defensively.  (y/n) shook her head at him, brows furrowing.

“Richie, you’re acting weird,” She told him.  “Even for you”

“Fuck it, I don’t even know what I’m fuckin’ doing right now” He muttered, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket and spinning on his heel to get off her porch.  “I’ll see you later”

(y/n) let out a silent scoff as he started to walk away, off her porch and down the driveway.  Her and Richie rarely had awkward interactions.  They always clicked, they were always comfortable.  Whatever he wasn’t telling her, was really driving a wedge between them that she didn’t know how to un-wedge.

“Rich, wait!” She called, shutting the front door and heading down the few steps off her porch.  “What’s going on?”

He turned back to look at her, standing on the sidewalk now, while she was planted in front of the steps.  He threw his arms out in a helpless fashion, before letting out a heavy sign.

“I want to go with you!” He declared in a reluctant confession.  “Everywhere.  Anywhere, really, I just want to fucking go and- and be there with you”

(y/n) stared at him in shock.  Richie wasn’t the loud professions kind of guy, but here he was, yelling what excited and scared him the most in her front yard.

“You do?” She asked breathlessly, like she was scared he was going to take it back and leave.  “You’ll come with me? To New York?” Tears welled up in her eyes from relief and nervousness.

“I- Jesus fuck” Richie muttered, before heading back up to her through the dewey grass, practically breaking into a run as he got closer to her.

His hands seized outwards, cupping her face and pulling her against him as he slammed his lips down against hers, kissing her fully, and passionately.

This wasn’t like their other kisses.  This wasn’t a gentle kiss in the moonlight, or an excited thoughtless kiss.  This was purposeful, and conveyed everything they’d both been harboring for years now.

Her arms lazily reached up to rest her elbows on his shoulders, fingers toying with his hair as their lips met repeatedly and in sync with one another, sharing ardent kisses in between quick breaths.

“Of course I want to go with you,” He mumbled, lips brushing over hers, and then kissing her once more before pulling away to look at her.  “I fucking love you”

The tears in her eyes spilled over, streaming down her cheeks and running against Richie’s fingers and palms.  A barely audible breathless laugh left her lips.

“I fucking love you too” She whispered back, pushing his glasses up his nose for him before tightly wrapping her arms around him, pressing her lips against his, and then burying her face in his neck.

She remembered standing there for a long time, just crying and embracing as tightly as they had after they’d defeated Pennywise.  It would’ve been impossible to break them apart.

(y/n) stared at Richie for a long moment, blinking away the mist in her eyes.  He could tell she remembered, because she had that same look on her face that she did at the bar when she’d remembered their first kiss.

“The only thing that would’ve made that better would’ve been if it were pouring rain,” Richie said in a half assed joke.  They both laughed weakly.  “That’a been some real… real sappy shit”

“It was plenty sappy” (y/n) murmured, swimming just a little bit closer to him.  Close enough to tell he was squinting just a little bit without his glasses on, and for a moment she wondered just how blurry she was to him.

“Yeah, well,” Richie coughed, trying to break up the tension.  “You brought out the romantic part of me that I didn’t fuckin’ know existed” He laughed, but she smiled softly at him.

“I know,” She whispered.  “I… I bought tickets, bus tickets”

Richie stared down at the waters, watching his legs kick back and forth to keep him afloat.  This part of the memory ate him up inside, made him sick with nerves, and guilt.

“Two of them.  For New York”

He still wouldn’t look at her.

“I waited for you, at the station, begged the driver to wait a few more minutes, so many times”

As (y/n) continued talking, the memory kept coming back to her.  Until today, she’d had it in mind that she left Derry without looking back.  But she had looked back.  She’d looked all over the bus station for Richie that night.

“You never showed” She finished weakly.

Richie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head at her.

“I…” He couldn’t even find the right words to say.  An apology seemed too small.  “I couldn’t… be there,” He said, only to shake his head again and try to find a better way to put it.  “With you.  In your dream.  You- you had a whole life ahead of you, waiting for you in New York, and that proved to be true”

“Richie…” (y/n) murmured sadly, knowing what he was going to say next.

“I didn’t want to get in the way of that.  I didn’t realize when I made you that promise that… I was imposing on your dream, while trying to live out mine”

She moved even closer to him, grabbing his hands under the water, squeezing them both securely.  Her lips quirked into half a smile as her eyes flickered between his.  He had to see her clearly now, seeing she was a mere few inches away from him.

“That was our dream,” She told him softly, sincerely.  “I would’ve given anything if you’d come to the station that day”

“Yeah,” Richie mumbled, looking down at the distorted water where she held his hands.  “And I’d give anything to go back and fucking run to the bus”

She giggled, and it was a sad sound, but it was still music to his ears.

“I fucked up” He said, and she nodded, unable to deny that.

“Yeah, you did,” She agreed, in a tone too sweet for the occasion.  “But… you also brought back memories I can’t believe I lost, so I’ll forgive you”

He grinned at her, and his hands grasped hers more securely to draw her in closer.

“It’s really great to see you again” He told her softly, and (y/n’s) legs slowed in their kicking to keep her afloat, making her lower a bit in the water until her chin rested at the surface.

“Great to see you too” She mumbled, eyes flickering back and forth between his repeatedly.  She could still read him as easily as she had when they were kids.  She knew he wanted to kiss her.  Hell, he probably knew she wanted to kiss him too.

“And you’re not married…” He added, one of his hands releasing hers to wander further down in the water, before settling on her hip and drawing her body against his completely.

“I’m not…” She said, brows crinkling in confusion at his comment.

“And neither am I,” He added, and she nodded, clearly not following.  “And I do believe we had a deal, toots”

She giggled, rolling her eyes at the idea of the marriage pact they’d foolishly, drunkenly-in-love made when they were seventeen.

“I see you for the first time in twenty seven years, and you still want to marry me?” She asked, only half teasing, as her hand settled on his shoulder, holding herself against him.  She didn’t want him to let go anytime soon.

“You’re the one that taught me to commit, sweetheart,” Richie reminded her, and his nose bumped into hers as he leaned down towards her a bit.  “Pretty sure I would’ve waited a hundred and seven years to marry you”

“You’re a fucking idiot, Tozier” (y/n) replied in a murmur, shutting her eyes as she nudged his nose to the side with hers, blindly searching for his lips.

They met with ease, the kiss so electric both were surprised the water didn’t fucking electrocute them to death.  Both of Richie’s hands gripped her hips while (y/n’s) hands played with the curly wet strands of his hair.  And as soon as that kiss ended, a second began, and all either of them could hear was their erratically beating hearts in their chests and the echo of the waters sloshing around, spilling over the edge of the pool and making the tile floors even slipperier.  With each connection of their lips, they became more desperate for more.

Perhaps to make up for time lost, or maybe just because they’d forgotten how good it felt.  And good was an understatement.

She whimpered a bit as she wrapped her legs around his hips, trusting him to keep them afloat while his hands roamed over her back, before tangling up in her hair.

When it got a bit too… steamy… to stay treading water in the deep end while making out, they parted just long enough to swim over to the wall, and (y/n) giggled as Richie pulled on her arm to bring her back to him, pressing her up against the edge of the pool, and caging her in with his hands on either side of her, holding onto the lip where the flooring jut out just a bit over the water.

“Much better” He mumbled, making her smile as he leaned down to kiss her again, fully, passionately, it was like their lips still molded perfectly against one another.

She let out a long sign through her nose as she loosely wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his body to be flush against hers under the water.

“This is my new favorite kiss” He told her, and she giggled against his lips, tilting her head back to look up at him.

“What was your favorite before?” She questioned.

“What was yours?” He shot back.

“I didn’t have one,” She laughed, “I personally ranked them all equally”

“Well, mine was the one on your roof” He answered, and she giggled again.

“Which one? There were like- fifteen that night-” She teased.

“Wow (y/n/n),” He replied, tone thick with sarcasm.  “You must really get around, huh?” He quirked an eyebrow at him, and she bit her lip to keep from grinning like too much of an idiot.

“No… no, I’m just a bit of a slut for you” She joked, and pathetically splashed water at his chest.  Richie laughed, shaking his head at her.

“Don’t say that,” He told her.  “God, that sounds awful, what’re you trying to make me out to be?” She continued to laugh, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck.

There was nothing but adoration in her eyes, and as usual, Richie couldn’t help himself when he leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose, and then leave a peck on her lips as well.

“Coulda been kissin’ you for like thirty years,” He mused.  “I really am an idiot”

“Shut up, you’re gonna ruin the moment” (y/n) ordered, drawing his head down close to hers again.

“We’re having a moment?” He replied like a dumbass, and (y/n) just rolled her eyes before pressing her open mouth against his, which did the trick in shutting him up.

“Not if you keep running your mouth” She hummed, as she caught her breath, before sensually kissing him again.

“Hey! You two!”

The pair broke apart, but put no distance between them, even as a flashlight shone in their faces, effectively sobering them up the rest of the way.

“Pool’s closed, horny freaks,” The security guard muttered and shook his head.  “Get the hell outta here and back to your rooms before I go report you to my manager”

Richie cussed under his breath, but pulled himself out of the pool anyways, and turned to help (y/n) out as well.  The guard waited impatiently as they grabbed their clothes and towels, and scurried out of the room.

The corridors of the hotel were even colder than the water, and as they took the elevator to their floors, both of their teeth were chattering from the unforgiving air conditioning.

“Well that fucking sucked,” Richie grumbled.  “Guy totally ruined our moment”

(y/n) scoffed before giggling and swatting an arm at his chest.

The doors opened when they got to the third floor, and Richie dropped a kiss to her hair before stepping out.

“Goodnight, toots” He told her with a half-smirk half-smile that made her heart flutter, just like it used to.

“Night Richie” She murmured back with pink cheeks.

The doors began to close, and he began to head down the hall to his room.

However, before they could shut, and before the elevator could take her one floor higher towards her own room, (y/n) shot her arm out, triggering the sensor that made the door open again, and raced out onto the third floor hallway.

Richie turned around, a grin already growing on his face to see her standing there, looking surprised by her own actions.

“Can- can I stay-”

“Come on, toots,” Richie cut off her stammering, reaching his arm out for her to tuck herself under, and he kept his arm around her the whole walk down the hall.  “Let’s go” ___

As the sun seeped in through the cheap thin curtains, (y/n) stirred in her sleep, letting out a whine as she stretched her legs, inadvertently kicking another pair of legs under the covers.  Which earned her a playful groan and a chuckle from Richie Tozier, who she realized now had his strong arms wrapped securely around her middle.

“You awake, toots?” He muttered, lips brushing lovingly over her forehead as he spoke.  “Better be, ‘cause if you kick in your sleep you’re sleeping on the floor tonight”

The girl leaned her head back, peering up at him with half lidded sleepy eyes.  But the sun hit them just right, illuminating the (y/e/c) hues, and for a moment Richie was reminded of the stars.

“You’re that certain I’m staying here tonight?” She teased, fingers toying with the messy locks of hair that fell over his ears.

“Well, seeing as I checked you out of your room this morning…”

“You what?” (y/n) gaped at him, a surprised and tired laugh escaping her throat.  Richie shrugged guiltily, but the proud smile on his lips told her that he didn’t regret it one bit.

“Yeah, this morning,” He informed her.  “Took a lot of effort to get you fuckin’ off of me though.  You still death cuddle in your sleep”

“Shut up” She mumbled, wacking the side of his head lovingly before going back to playing with his hair.

“You know your entire body was on top of me?” He asked, and she rolled her eyes, not even sure she believed him.  “It’s like after you were done last night you just passed out-”

“Beep beep, Richie” She hummed with a pointed glare.  Although her cheeks flushed pink as she remembered the events of last night, after she’d followed Richie off the elevator, and into his room.

“I can’t believe I didn’t suffocate,” He went on dramatically.  “You coulda killed me woman!”

“And yet, you checked me out of my room so I’d stay here the rest of the week” She teased, and bumped the tip of her nose against his affectionately.  

Richie smiled down at her, leaning in closer, but before connecting their lips he just had to run his mouth first.

“By the way, you have to get your stuff packed and outta there before noon”

(y/n) leaned backwards so he couldn’t have his satisfactory good morning kiss, brows furrowing.

“And what time is it?” She asked, watching him grumble before looking over his shoulder at the clock on the bedside table.

“Uh, 11:30”

(y/n) rolled her eyes, and shuffled out of bed.  Only then realizing she was only clad she in his mustard colored button down.

“Richie,” She sighed, gesturing downwards at the barely-covering-her-ass shirt and bare legs.  “Where are my pants?”

“What pants?” Richie played dumb, and she gave him a bored glare.  “The only thing I remember about pants was ripping them off-”

“Beep beep!” She squealed, already rushing about the hotel room in search of something that covered just a little more skin.  She found his tee shirt, which she threw at him, and her own shirt, which she just held on to.

What? She was already wearing a shirt.

“Did you hide them?” (y/n) asked, hands on her hips as she stared Richie down, where he still laid comfortably in bed.  Too comfortably.

“I told ya toots,” He grinned.  “Haven’t seen ‘em since I took em off ya”

Her brows furrowed as her eyes narrowed skeptically.

“Who knows?” Richie pretended to ponder it.  “Maybe I threw them out the window.  Legs like those shouldn’t be covered-”

“Alright.  So what you want right now, is for me to run out of here, pants-less, go up to my floor, pack my things and come back here to stay for the rest of the week, right?” She asked, done with the playful bullshit.

“That’s exactly what I want.  Yes” He agreed with a sly grin as he folded his hands over his stomach, watching her curiously to see what’d she’d do next.

“Fine” (y/n) huffed, and headed for the door.

“Well- wait- hold on toots,” Richie called, and she turned to look at him, hoping he’d just give in and get her the pair of jeans so that she didn’t have to do the walk of shame across the hotel.

(Not that there was anything shameful about what happened last night)

“You’re gonna leave without kissin’ me goodbye?” He asked, puckering his lips playfully.

(y/n) rolled her eyes, and action that Richie had grown quite fond of, seeing that it was almost always directed towards him, before tugging open the door and racing down the hall to the elevator.

The less people to see her in just a weirdly colored button-up, the better.

She made it into the elevator without any complications, and sighed in relief as it took her up the one floor to get to her room.  All she had to do now was run to her room, slam the door shut, and pull on a pair of jeans.  How many people could be up and about in the hallways anyways? It’s not like Derry was a destination overflowing with people-

“(y/n)?”

The doors opened on the fourth floor, revealing Eddie Kaspbrak and Ben Hanscom waiting outside of it, jaws dropped open and eyes wide with realization as they looked at the girl.

“Holy fuck you slept with Richie!” Eddie screeched, his joyous laughter echoing down the halls, before he suddenly cringed and groaned in a disgusted manner at the girl.  “Why?”

“Because they’re still in love” Ben cooed adorably.

(y/n) shook her head at the both of them, realizing just how much they hadn’t changed.

“Excuse me” She managed a mumble as she pushed past them, cheeks pink as she speed walked towards her room.

“Those two are still fucking digusting” She heard Eddie tell Ben before she got into her room and was finally able to shut the door and have some privacy.

And despite the teasing, it made her smile, because what Eddie thought was disgusting, (y/n) and Richie had waited a lifetime for.  This was their fate, finally coming true. ___

After packing up her things, putting on a pair of pants, and moving her bags into Richie’s room, the old gang headed into Derry with Mike, awaiting further instruction on how to defeat It.  For real, this time.

Much to everyone’s dismay, he’d told them to split up, to search for the artifacts they’d each left behind when they left Derry.

“Woah woah woah,” Richie spoke up, shaking his head almost comically fast.  “That’s probably the worst thing we could do right now!”

(y/n’s) hand grabbed his wrist calmly, and her thumb stroked over the soft skin to settle him down.

“For once, he’s fucking right.  Splitting up is how we die” Eddie agreed.

“You have to find it on your own,” Mike said.  “That’s how this works, it has to solely be yours”

Richie frowned deeply, but didn’t argue again.  Mike had spent the last twenty-seven years plotting, studying, trying to find a way to stop IT through hours, years, of research.  If he said this was the only way to do it, then it must be.

“Once you have them, meet back at the library, okay?”

Everyone nodded, and began to head off in search of their artifacts.

Richie however, tugged (y/n) back, and gave her a look she could only describe as lost.

“It’ll be fine,” She told him with a reassuring smile, her hand settling against his cheek.  “I’ll be fine,” She clarified.  “And you will too.  It’ll only be a few hours, and I’ll see you at the library, alright?”

“I hate this” He muttered, and she giggled softly.  Richie took her hand from his face, holding it delicately in his.

He gazed at the matching scars in the palms of their hands before looking back at her again.

“Be safe?” He spoke in the form of a question, and she nodded.

“And you don’t be stupid.  I mean it this time”

“This time?”

“Could never stop you from doing stupid shit before” She teased, and pulled her hand out of his as she turned to leave the woods.  “See ya in a bit-”

“Hey! No goodbye kiss? Again?” He complained, and she grinned back at him.

“You can have it after your special mission,” She mocked.  “I’ll see you at the library, Tozier” She added before finally heading off in the direction of town.

She had a pretty good idea of what her artifact would be.  She just wasn’t totally sure how to get to it. ___

The (y/l/n) household looked the same as it had twenty seven years ago, if not a little more run down.

As she stood in front of her childhood home, (y/n) couldn’t hide the grimace on her face.  Countless memories of the suffering she’d gone through growing up in that house.  From her neglecting parents, to the nights she’d spent crying herself to sleep after being plagued with nightmares, her house was her least favorite part of Derry.  And it was supposed to be a safe haven.

She could have walked up to the door, greeted her parents, and then went up to her room to retrieve the artifact, sure.  It would have been relatively easy.  

But she didn’t want to see her parents.  She wasn’t ready, and somehow, it seemed easier to scale up the side of the house to her bedroom window, and sneak in as quietly as she could, rather than have to face the people who raised her.

As she struggled to force open the window, she wondered how Richie had managed to creep in all those years ago.  He’d done so every night, how the hell did he get himself all the way up to the second floor?

Finally, the plane cracked as the worn wood gave out, and (y/n) was able to the window upwards and open.  She cheered silently to herself as she crept inside her bedroom.

She left a considerable amount of things behind.  Her bed was still against the same wall, and her desk and dresser on the opposite side.  There were a few boxes of things that she’d left behind to be donated, but it appeared her parents had never taken them to the donation center.

Actually, the more she looked around, she wondered if her parents ever even came into her room.  It looked untouched, dusty, and not a single thing had been moved since the last time she’d been here.

She curiously looked over the photos she and Richie had taped onto one of the walls, a collage of the Loser’s Club.  Polaroids of the gang at the quarry, in their Halloween costumes, at school dances, regular ones from sleepovers.

But in the center of them all, she’d plastered one right overtop of a picture of Bill on his bike, with Bev holding onto him from behind.  She’d covered it with a picture from Richie.  

The photo was a blurry one of the two of them, (y/n) sitting on his lap, on Eddie’s couch, she thought.  Her hands were on his cheeks, shoving them together adorably and making his lips pucker.  She was grinning down at him, and despite his mouth being forced into looking like a fish, she could tell just by looking at the picture that he was smiling back.  Ben had taken the picture, she remembered.  And she remembered Richie giving it to her.

She carefully pulled the polaroid off the wall, fingers stroking over the delicate image, before flipping it over.

It was still there.  The note.  

In his typical messy handwriting, he’d written her a little note on the back of it before thrusting the picture towards her for her to take.

Stay adorable, sunshine.

And a little heart scribbled underneath it.

(y/n) found herself giggling as she looked at it, the same giggle she’d let out the day Richie had given it to her.

This was her artifact, she knew it, she could feel it.

She carefully tucked the precious photograph in her pocket, eager to get back to the library to show the others.

Just as she was halfway out her window, a voice whispered to her.

“(y/n)? Sweetheart, is that you?”

A shiver ran down her spine.  Her mother’s voice hadn’t aged a day.

She was frozen in the windowsill, staring with wide eyes at the closed door.  There were footsteps on the stairs, and she could see a shadow walking beneath the crack of the door.  If she didn’t move now, she’d be caught.

“My little girl?” The voice called again, but this time it was distant, and distorted.  “Is it really you?”

Her heart pounded in her ears, absolute fear in her bloodstream as all she could do was watch as the door suddenly swung open, revealing her mother.

Except, it wasn’t her.

It was her body, with torn, yellowing skin.  Once dull (y/e/c) eyes glazed over with a milky film.  Saliva dripping past rotting teeth, and over pale lips.

“My child,” The thing that wasn’t quite her mother called, and (y/n) let out a guttural scream as It raced right towards her.  “You’ve come home! Back to mama!”

“No- No!” She screamed, and It took a few taunting steps towards her.  Close enough that the stench of rotting flesh wafted into her nose.

And as quickly as It had stepped towards her, it’s limbs bending and snapping unnaturally, as It took a different shape.  A new shape, that was also vaguely familiar.

Her father.

“It’s about time you came home…” He drooled all over her carpet, and if she wasn’t so overcome by fear, she probably would’ve thrown up.  “It’s been so long, your mother just about died.  But now you’re here.  To stay”

Her breath caught in her throat, swallowing a scream and in turn letting out a whimper.

“No-! No you’re not- this isn’t- you’re not real!” She squealed, and forced her legs to swing out the window.

“Not real enough for you?” The gnarled voice of her supposed father asked, and slowly, the parts of him that were torn, the glossy eyes, and the drooling lip, disappeared.  And just like that, it looked just like her father, the one she’d known as a child.

She wasn’t sure if this was worse than the zombified version.

“Stay!” He surged forward, snatching (y/n) by her wrist.  “Stay and float”

At that, she found her voice and screamed again, yanking with as much force she could to get her arm out of it’s dirty grasp.

“Stay and float! Stay and float! Stay and float!”

As it continued to screech it’s mantra, his voice became more and more deeper, louder, monstrous.  And she was afraid she’d have to risk getting her arm ripped off just to get out of it’s hold.

He threw his head back, a disgusting shriek escaping it’s throat as it’s jaw unhinged, and the body took on a new form.

“Come on toots,” An all too familiar voice took over.  “Stay and float”

It took all of her fear and willpower to get away in order for (y/n) to muster up the courage to swing her leg in through the open window, kicking not-Richie’s jaw with a loud and unpleasant crack against her boot.

It stumbled backwards, finally releasing her arm as it did, and collapsed inside the bedroom.

Because of the force of her kick, and because of It letting go of her hand, she stumbled onto the roof, and rolled backwards off of the slope of shingles.  Landing back down flat on the dewey ground with a thud and a groan.

She whined as she just laid there for a moment, processing (as best as she could with the wind knocked out of her) what had just happened.  From It attacking her, to falling off the roof.

Richie was gonna love to hear about the latter.  He’d fallen off her roof countless times when they were kids, in failed attempts to sneak out of her room.

With a wheeze she pushed herself to sit up, wiping off the grass and wetness from the sleeves of the ugly button up she still wore.  After getting used to being in an upright position, she forced herself to stand, huffing and puffing and mumbling profanities.

Her hand subconsciously hovered over her back pocket, pulling out the photograph and panted out a ‘thank fuck’ seeing that it wasn’t too damaged from the encounter.  Just a little bent at the edges.

A rush of adrenaline surged through her, and for the first time since coming back to Derry, she truly believed they could defeat It.  The Losers could win this. ___

“Hello?” She called out into the library, eagerly running in and searching for the others.

She held the polaroid in her hands firmly, glancing around the aisles of books, but judging by the lack of response, she figured that no one was back yet.

She had known right away what her artifact would be, so perhaps the others were still on the search for theirs.

She began to wander amongst the shelves, curiously admiring the very old looking books on them.  But in a small town like Derry, it wasn’t too surprising that they hadn’t gotten anything new in the last thirty years.  Or by the looks of it, one hundred and thirty years.

Just as she was about to actually pick out a book to pass the time, she heard a muffled noise, which sounded all too much like someone struggling to just be the old building settling.

Her instincts told her to call out to see if anyone was there, but her history with terror told her to keep quiet, and follow the noise to see what was going on.

She crept on the tips of her toes down the aisle, and again, a definite ‘hmph!’ could be heard.  She surely wasn’t alone in the library.

Peeking her head around a shelf, she was certain that this was where the intruder was.

Her heartbeat spiked, seeing him there.  He had aged horribly, as expected, but something about him still had that terrifying ‘Henry Bowers’ vibe.

It was probably because he held Eddie in a prison-like grasp, a hand clamped over the hypochondriac’s mouth, and his other hand pressing a knife dangerously close to his neck.

(y/n) could see there was already a stab wound on his cheek, covered by a small square of gauze.

“(y/n)? Is that really you sweetheart?” Bowers asked, tongue licking over the front of his yellowing teeth in a sultry manner that made her shiver and grimace at once.

“Let him go, Henry,” She muttered, and tucked her photograph in the back pocket of her jeans.  “You can still walk away from this.  Walk away”

“Whatcha got there?” He asked, ignoring her completely.  “Somethin’ sentimental? Hm? Somethin’ that’s gonna save your sad little lives? Aww…” He mocked, and shoved Eddie forward with him as he stepped closer to the girl.  “Give it to me and I won’t fuckin’ slit his throat”

Eddie let out a whimper, muffled against Henry’s clammy palm.

“Not a goddamn chance” She said, voice clear, hands curling into tight fists.  

There was a time that Henry Bowers could’ve threatened her into doing anything, but that was a lifetime ago, and she wasn’t afraid of his pathetic ass any more.

“Now let him fucking go”

“So pitiful.  Always so naive, bitch” Henry said, and took his hand off of Eddie’s mouth to grab him by the back of his shirt, still holding a knife to his neck.

“You alright?” (y/n) murmured to Eddie while he sucked in deep breaths.

“He smells so fucking bad” He muttered back, and (y/n) chuckled, and gave him a certain nod.  A nod that told him that he needed to make a move to distract Henry, and get that knife away from his neck.

The idea of fighting against a crazed man with a knife petrified Eddie, but he trusted (y/n), and right now, he trusted her with his life.

So before he could chicken out, he kicked his foot backwards, effectively swinging his foot right between Bowers’ legs.  This distracted him just long enough that Eddie could run away, and (y/n) grabbed his arm to pull him with her faster, towards the library doors.

“He’s still fucking alive?” She screeched as they ran, and Eddie fumbled for his inhaler in his pocket.

“Yeah, and he’s still a fucking psycho!” He replied, taking two puffs of proventil.

The doors were just in sight, they were just a few quick strides from the exit.

But out of seemingly nowhere, (y/n) was ripped away from Eddie, and thrown against the ground.  She groaned aloud as her head slammed into the floor, leaving a bruise where a bump would later rise.

“I’m tired of you fucking running away!” Henry screamed down into her face, making her wince and shut her eyes, shuffling as much as she could to get away from his knife that was threateningly pointed at her.  “I’m gonna fucking kill you this time” He muttered, raising his arm with the knife, and (y/n) held her arm over her face to brace for the sharp impact.

However, she barely felt the swipe across her cheekbone, before there was nothing.

She dared herself to open her eyes, lowering her arm just as the weight of Henry Bowers fell off of her, a metal beam shoved into the back of his skull.  She let out a squeak of disgust at the gruesome sight.

Just as quickly as she felt sick to the stomach, she was flooded with relief to see Richie standing over her, panting heavily and staring wide eyed from Henry’s corpse, then down to her.

“Holy shit,” He muttered, mostly to himself, and took (y/n’s) hand to help her off the floor.  “Are you alright?”

She could only manage a shaky nod, her hands grasping his wrists, and her hold tightening on him the longer she held him, the reality of the situation settling in.  She could’ve died.

“I killed him?” Richie half asked her, and she nodded again, glancing for half a second at the body on the ground.  “I fucking killed him” He breathed out, both surprised, and a little proud.

He was beginning to smile, before he abruptly ripped himself away from (y/n) and threw up the contents of his stomach on the floor.  Apparently reality had just settled in with him too.

“Oh my-” (y/n) gasped at Richie’s violent puking.  She turned her head away, but patted a comforting hand on his back.

Mike, Ben, and Beverly came into the library a few moments later, all groaning and shrieking at the sight of Henry Bowers’ body on the floor, a pole through his skull.

The day had just started, and there was so much to catch up on, and so much left to do.

But for now, they had to go get Bill before he stupidly walked into Neibolt alone. ___

Richie’s hand had never held (y/n’s) so tightly.  His heart dropped to his stomach as soon as they’d stepped foot into the (definitely haunted) house, and his hand had instantly shot out and grabbed hers.

For her or himself, he wasn’t sure.  But they were both grateful for it in the moment.

“It’s just like last time” (y/n) mumbled, shining her flashlight all over the floor in front of her.

“If you thought that was romantic, it wasn’t” Richie replied, giving her a small smile, that she weakly returned.

If her heart wasn’t about to beat out of her chest right now, she might’ve even laughed.

After a horrible encounter with a creature designed from Stan’s corpse head, and having to swim through greywater to get to the tunnel, her heart only beat harder, and louder.  Fear and adrenaline mixing together in a toxic concoction that made her swear she could feel her blood pumping.

She peered down the tunnel, afraid to even trust the rocky walls of it to climb down, much less what was on the other side.

Mike had already hoisted himself down, and Ben followed shortly after.  (y/n) was the next closest to the opening, so she knew it was her turn.

“You’re alright,” Richie told her as she tied her flashlight around her wrist.  She nodded, wanting to believe him, but her eyes were full of tears, and her bottom lip quivered a bit.  “I’ll be right behind you, okay? It’s gonna be fine”

With a kiss on the cheek, she believed him a little more, nodding again, and then slowly lowering herself into the well.

Her hands shook as she grabbed the jutted out rocks, but she didn’t slip up the whole way down.  And when she finally landed on her feet, in a cave beneath the town of Derry.

Richie dropped down a few short minutes after her, and wrapped his arm around her waist, tugging her against his side almost comfortingly as they waited for the others to come down.

“What’d I tell ya?” He said with a dopey grin down at her.  She let out a small laugh, and for a moment, leaned her head against his chest.

Her cheek had stopped bleeding, and while the cut that Henry Bowers had made wasn’t deep, it looked awful.  Dried blood smeared over her pretty skin, dirtying it.  Richie made a mental note to help her clean that up later.

“Yeah yeah, you’re always right,” She muttered, looking up at him again.  “Thanks for saving my life earlier”

“Yeah, I’m a real hero, huh?” He said with a heavy sign, and she swatted at his chest with the back of her hand, and then wandering a little further into the cave, exploring the path they’d have to take to get to their final destination.

The journey continued as Eddie was the last to come down the well.

And after what felt like hours of walking, it was obvious when they reached the place they were looking for.

“Alright, quickly now!” Mike called, running up to the large rocky structure in the vast open space.  Rocks jutted out from the ground, almost forming a crown in the cave.

The others followed behind him, and watched as he placed the pyramid on the ground, filled it with lighter fluid, and set it on fire.

“Okay, now place your artifacts inside” He instructed.

Bill was the first to pull his out, a paper boat, with neat handwriting on it’s side that read S.S Georgie.

Then Beverly, a taped-together postcard that she didn’t really share about before adding it to the fire.

Next was Eddie, who threw in his old inhaler, but not before taking a puff from it first, making everyone cringe.

Richie threw in an arcade token without a word.  And when Eddie called him out for having an artifact that would take forever to burn, he snapped back at him.  No one asked any questions about it.

Ben added a piece of paper to the fire, which he admitted was a page from his yearbook, and the only signature on it was Beverly’s.

(y/n) was next, and she reluctantly pulled the polaroid out of her pocket, gazing down at it lovingly, and smoothing her thumb over the bent corners.

“Is that…?” Ben peered over, grinning to see that the picture he’d taken all those years ago, as a joke about how much (y/n) and Richie cuddle, was still in near perfect shape.

“Wow,” Richie mumbled, reaching out to hold one side of the polaroid, as (y/n) held the other.  “Look at that”

He turned it over, curious to see if his message had faded away.  But there, in black sharpie ink, written in his handwriting, Stay adorable, sunshine.  A sloppy heart scribbled underneath.

She grinned bashfully up at him, before a sadness settled on her features as she looked at the fire.  Richie squeezed her hand, as if to tell her it was okay, she could throw it in.

“It’s uh…” She cleared her throat, hand a bit shaky as she held the picture over the fire.  “It’s the one thing I should have brought with me but… didn’t”

With that, she dropped the photo into the fire, and watched edges curl up and turn black, before the flames ate it up.

Mike held up a rock, painted with what had to be blood.

“Do you remember this, Bev?” He asked, a knowing smile on his face, and her own features lit up as the memory replayed in her head.  “It’s the rock that hit Bowers” He said, looking at it, and admiring what it had done for him all those years ago.  It had saved his life.

He tossed in the rock, and the flames erupted even larger, brighter.

And above them, a portal, of sorts opened up.  (y/n) got a glimpse of bright orange streams of light before Mike hollered for everyone to look away from the deadlights.

She had more trust in him than she had curiosity in the lights, and was quick to look downwards, pressing her hand over her eyes for safe measure.

Richie’s hand grabbed her free one, pulling her closer, and even closer when the power of the deadlights going into the pyramid was blowing harsh winds all around them.

The ground began to shake as the orbs were completely submerged inside the pyramid, and (y/n) pressed her face completely against Richie’s chest, holding him tightly and fearfully.  She wasn’t sure what was happening, or when it was safe to look.

But things settled down, the winds stopped, the ground stilled, and slowly, everyone cautiously peeked their eyes open.

Mike was quick to slam the lid over the pyramid, trapping the deadlights inside.

“We did it?” Bill breathed out, unsurely.

“It’s gone?” Richie asked.  “Just like that?”

“We did it,” Mike said, a tired grin tugging on his lips.  “We did it, we trapped the lights”

Everyone seemed to smile, and let out sighs of relief.

(y/n) pulled away from Richie only to reach up and eagerly press her lips against his, hands splaying across his cheeks, and grinning even wider as she pulled away.  He took her in his arms, lifting her off the ground as he hugged her enthusiastically.

“We fucking did it!”  He cheered, even spinning the girl around before setting her back down.

Their moment was short lived, as they were soon joined by Pennywise, who mocked their efforts at defeating him, and released the deadlights from the pyramid.  And if that wasn’t enough to make their fear settle in their bones again, he grew about a hundred feet, taking on the leg form of a monstrous spider, and chased them amongst the rocks with crazed laughter.

Richie haphazardly reached out for (y/n), and pulled her with him behind a tall rock that should keep them out of It’s view for a few moments, which was all he needed.

“Listen to me, are you listening to me? Listen,” Richie instructed hastily.  “We dont- we don’t have much time-”

“What?” (y/n) said, urging him to hurry up before Pennywise rounded the corner and was able to see them.

“First chance you get, you run the fuck out of here-”

“Richie no-!”

“Promise me, fucking- swear to me, that if you get the chance you fucking book it, okay?” He pleaded, but she shook her head back and forth, tears welling in her eyes as Richie continued to beg her.  “Swear to me- do it (y/n) swear”

“I- I can’t” She whimpered.

“You can, please, please.  If you stil love me just- just fucking promise me you’ll get the hell out of here, and get safe,” She cried harder, a small gasp departing her lips as her throat burned with tears.  “I need you to be safe, okay?”

He peered around the rock, seeing Pennywise nearing where they were hiding, and then turned quickly back to (y/n).

“Richie I can’t leave- I’m not leaving you again,” She wept, tears flowing down her cheeks.  “Please don’t make me-”

“I’ll be there with you as soon as I can,” He promised, cupping her cheeks in his hands.  “I swear it, alright? I just need you to swear to me you’ll get out of here”

“Rich” She cried, squeezing her eyes shut tight, and for a mere second relished in the feeling of the pads of his thumbs swiping away her tears.

“Do you understand me?” He spoke after a moment, and she nodded, albeit reluctantly.

Her sad eyes met his, and they alone told him everything that she needed him to know.  He gave her a bittersweet smile, before drawing her face in close for him to press his lips in the space between her eyes.

“I love you,” He murmured before pulling away.  Just as she opened her mouth to speak, Richie could see that It was even closer, and he pushed her away from him.  “Now go!”

She let out a cry as she was forced out of his hold, and the tears started up again as she made a bee-line towards the entrance of the cave they’d come in through.

She made it through the passing just before It was able to spot her, and hid under the rock as she watched It pass, and Richie ran from his hiding spot to another.

Her hands had been shaking, and she couldn’t get herself to move, even though at this point, she probably would get away.  But looking at the Losers, her friends, all running about the cave and trying to hide before It could grab them and terrorize them, she couldn’t go through with it.

Her eyes caught Richie’s, who began to shake his head, already knowing what she was thinking.  She gave him a sad smile, and realized she wasn’t shaking anymore.

She wasn’t afraid.

Richie shook his head again, waving his arms around in an ‘x’ sort of motion, desperate for her to listen to him.  To turn around and start running.

‘I’m sorry’ she mouthed, and wiggled out of the crevice.

“(y/n)! No!” The scream Richie let out echoed over the sounds of Pennywise’s snapping jaws and clattering crab-like legs.

She wasn’t afraid, but he certainly was.

She scaled up to a cliffside that was jutted out from the cave’s wall, collecting as many rocks as she could and beginning to throw them with all the force she could muster.

And if their lives weren’t at stake, he would be proud and cheering her on as she began to launch rocks at It.  But instead, his heart was beating erratically with fear as he watched her do something so reckless.

Nevertheless, he ran up to her, and joined her in pelting the monster with the largest rocks they could lift.

“You’re stupid! You’re insane!” He yelled at her, but she just gave him a wide grin, and shrugged her shoulders, before heaving up a rather large rock, swinging low so she could throw it as high as she could.  It landed with a loud ‘thunk’ ‘crack’ against Pennywise’s skull, and he screeched as the area began to crack, blood pooling upwards.

“Well where do you think I picked it up from?” (y/n) asked teasingly, hands dropping to her knees as she bent over and heaved.

She only had a moment to catch her breath before Pennywise whirled around, and the small moment of victory was gone in an instant.

It’s large crooked leg knocked her off the cliffside she stood on, and sent her tumbling down to the ground below.  Richie shrieked, scurrying to get down to her, but in his haste his eyes went upwards, landing on the blue circling orbs, and he was trapped in the deadlights.

(y/n) pushed herself up on shaky arms, spitting out blood and wiping haphazardly at her mouth to get the excess blood off her lips.  As she got up, her eyes caught Richie, floating above her, staring with dull eyes at whatever Mike had told them not to look at.

“Richie!” She screamed, and despite her legs feeling like jelly, she shoved herself upwards and ran towards him, hoping if she jumped high enough, she could grab his leg and pull him down to her.  “Richie! Come on!” She pleaded, eyes welling with tears as she tried, and failed, over and over again to grab onto him.

“(y/n)! Look out!” Eddie blared, just in time, as It came running towards her, reaching greedy hands down towards her body.

“Come on toots,” It’s voice was deranged and she hated the way her special nickname sounded coming out of it’s clown painted mouth.  “Don’t you wanna float with your lover?”

She scrambled away as quickly as she could, but It was so close behind her, she was bound to be snatched right up.

“Help!” She screamed, begging her legs to move faster, but sure enough, a large hand wrapped around her torso and picked her up like she was a doll.  

She screamed, throwing her fists against the back of Pennywise’s gloved hand, as though it could cause any damage anyways.  The higher he pulled her upwards to his face, the more she realized she didn’t actually want him to let go of her.  A fall at this height was bound to kill her.  So eventually, she stopped hitting his hand, and instead clutched onto the silk glove to keep her secure.

“You’ve caused quite some trouble” It spoke angrily, leaning in close so she could see it’s bright orange eyes.

“There are other ways to make him feel small!” Mike shouted.  “You have to make It feel small!”

Her eyes darted from the man on the ground, back up to the large figure that held her captive in it’s hand.

“I’m not afraid of you,” She declared, voice clear, and candid.  For a moment, she swore It’s face twitched with a wince.  “You’re just a clown.  You’re not fucking scary.  And I’m not scared of you!”

It snarled, baring it’s endless rows of razor sharp teeth as it roared right at her face.  She screamed, suddenly very afraid that this was how she died, that she’d be just another one of it’s snack-turned-victims.

But just as she thought she was going to be thrown into It’s mouth like a potato chip, the roaring ceased, as a long metal spear had been thrown into it’s exposed throat, ripping through to the otherside.

Her eyes widened at the gruesome sight, and It stumbled backwards, dropping her body in the process.  She screamed as she fell, but was silenced as soon as she hit the ground.

“Oh my- fuck! (y/n)!” Eddie ran over to her, helping her sit up and make sure she hadn’t hit her head too hard.  “Did you see that!? Did you see what I just fucking did!?” He cheered for himself, but his voice was merely a distant echo in (y/n’s) ears.

“Wh- what about Richie?” She mumbled, rubbing her head as she looked over to see him falling from where he was floating.  “Is he- oh my god”

Her legs shook, so much so that she kept on tripping and falling as she made her way over to where Richie laid, and eventually her knees completely gave out, and she collapsed at his side.

“R-Richie?” She shook him, afraid to see his eyes shut as he laid there, almost lifelessly.  “Richie!?” She yelled now, grasping the material of his shirt in her hands as tears built up and burned her eyes.

He gasped, head shooting up for a moment before falling back down against the rock.  He took in deep breaths and stared at her with wide eyes, not sure what had just happened that had knocked him out.

“You’re okay, you’re okay?” She repeated herself, hands moving rather quickly over his face, both comforting him and inspecting for any blood or injuries.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” He wheezed, and (y/n) took his face in her hands, a cry of relief coming from her throat.  She was smiling, but still crying.  “You gotta stop crying today toots, I don’t have the time to kiss all those tears away” He teased, and pushed himself to sit up on shaky arms.

“Shut the fuck up” She whimpered happily, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him to sit up the rest of the way so she could hug him as tightly as possible.  

Her hands grasping at his hair, and then his shoulders, and then the back of his shirt, anything she could hold.  Richie buried his face in the crook of her neck, arms encircling her torso and squeezing her tight against him.

“God, Rich,” She mumbled, pulling away from him to look at his face.  His glasses were a bit cracked, and there was a nasty bruise along his cheek, a little bit of blood trickling down his forehead from his hairline.  “You look like shit” She giggled, carefully wiping away the blood with her thumb.

“Yeah yeah, real hot coming from you” Richie said, silently counting the cuts and bruises littered over (y/n’s) face.  The cut from Bowers, a bruise at her temple, a slightly blackening eye, bloody nose, split lip, she was a mess.

It hurt to smile, but she couldn’t help it.  One of her hands shakily racing to place her palm against his cheek.  The expression on her face something that made Richie want to both cry and hold her in his arms for as long as possible.

“Richie…” She mumbled.  “I-”

The world stuttered in it’s timeline, it had to have, because what happened next, Richie was certain it was in slow motion.

A large claw protruded through (y/n’s) chest, making her words stutter to a stop, and slowly, she bowed her head down to see that it was, in fact, It’s razor sharp leg.  Impaled clean through her back.

“(y/n)!” Richie’s scream was blood curling, but all she could hear in that moment was white noise, eyes trained on the wound in her chest.  She was frozen in fear, and the realization that she was going to die here hit her like a truck on the highway.

Her chest suddenly felt very warm, and as It retracted the claw that had pierced through her whole body, she realized it was because of the fresh blood streaming out of her body, dampening her clothes in a soggy red.

Richie’s hands were fumbling over the wound as Pennywise’s claw was retracted, and the other Loser’s were screaming insults at it to finish the job.  Meanwhile, Richie carefully laid (y/n) down over his lap so she’d be more comfortable.

“(y/n), no… no no no, sweetheart, hey,” Richie cooed quietly, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over.  “Hey it’s alright, you’re alright, we’ll get you out of here real soon-”

“Richie,” She whimpered, taking his bloody hand away from her face, and intertwining his fingers with hers.  “Listen to me”

Her voice was small, but she needed him to stop his rambling so he could hear her.

“Listen- listen,” She mumbled, gathering what little strength she had to squeeze his hand.  “It’s okay”

“No-! No, no it isn’t it’s not fucking okay-”

“Richie,” She cried, one tear rolling down her bloody cheek.  “I’m okay, I’m gonna be okay,” She was lying through her teeth, just trying to calm him down even if it was just for a moment.  “You’ll be okay”

He shook his head, tears falling freely now, but he didn’t cut her off.

Thi couldn’t be happening, not now, not after he just got her back.  He just got her back, last night.  And they’d had a wonderful time together, they clicked just like they had back then.  He’d gotten to kiss her again, hold her again, love her again, how could this happen? How could she be ripped away from him so soon? This wasn’t fair this wasn’t fair this wasn’t-

“I love you,” She whimpered quietly, sad to even say it, given the circumstances, but she knew she had to.  For both of their sakes.  “Okay? I love you, I always did, okay?”

I told you to run, why didn’t you run away? Why didn’t you listen?

It wasn’t fair.  But there was no changing it, there was no way for him to fix it, and that’s what broke him the most.

There was no saving her.

“Okay,” Richie mumbled back.  The finality of their situation could be heard in the one word he spoke.  It was a goodbye.  Holding her hand tightly in his, and his free hand stroking her hair out of her face to keep it from getting stained with blood, he nodded his head a bit down at her.  “Okay.  I know, toots”

It was quiet for a minute as she tried to hold back her tears, for him.  SHe could feel her heart slowing, and most of her body had gone numb in shock.  All she could really feel was Richie’s hand tightly holding hers.  She hoped that when the time came, he’d let go.  Begged whoever was up there to help him let go.

“Hey,” Richie called softly, hastily wiping at his wet eyes with the back of his hand.  “(y/n) (y/l/n)”

“Richie Tozier?” She replied weakly, confused.

“Will you marry me?”

The question was so soft, she almost didn’t catch it.

A cry left her lips as she nodded, unable to hide her tears from him any longer.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” She mumbled.  “Yeah, I’ll marry you”

Her whimpers broke his heart, but he smiled gently down at her nonetheless.

“Alright then toots,” He whispered, and stroked her hair back again so he could lean down to her, and kiss her forehead with a featherlight touch.  

She closed her eyes at the action, and they both missed Pennywise being shrunken down into dust.  Too wrapped up in one another to even realize he was gone.

“Rest easy, baby” Richie said quietly, his nose pressed into the crown of her head, and his eyes squeezing shut tightly, too afraid to look at her as she took her last breath.  “I love you so fucking much”

When he finally pulled away, he knew her eyes wouldn’t open again.

The Losers were quiet as they gathered together, all staring at (y/n’s) boneless body in Richie’s arms.  He was holding her against his chest, rocking slightly as he cried into his shirt that she still wore.  If they’d stepped closer, they would have heard him cursing straight at God.  But no one dared to take another step forward, letting Richie have this moment to mourn. ___

“She saved my life,” Eddie declared, while everyone was floating in the quarry, rinsing off the blood and gore that stained most everyone’s clothes and skin.  “At the library.  If she hadn’t come in, Bowers would’a killed me”

The others nodded solemnly as Eddie spoke.

“She genuinely cared about me,” Ben said next, remembering the first time he’d met her.  She was the one that offered to let him ride on her bike after his run-in with the Bowers Gang.  She’d demanded that they helped clean him up.  “I guess… she saved my life too”

“Mine too,” Beverly agreed, smiling bittersweetly.  “Beat up Greta Keene in the seventh grade.  She was half her size, and she lost terribly but… she did it anyways”

“Me too,” Mike added.  “Told my grandpa she was a vegetarian so when she came over we didn’t have to slaughter anything,” He chuckled a bit.  “We always starved but… she knew I was always too chicken shit to do it”

“She used to help me with my s-” Bill cut himself off before he could chop up the word.  “She’d help me pronounce things b-better,” He looked down at the water with a frown.  “She always just wanted to help”

Everyone was looking at Richie now, while he was holding his glasses in his hands, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I have too much to say” He finally spoke through his tears.

Beverly swam over and held onto his arm, leaning her head against his elbow to comfort him.

“You always do,” Eddie said, but the teasing words came out in a gentle whisper, as he floated to Richie’s other side, and wrapped his arm around him.  “And somehow, she loved that about you”

Richie laughed humorlessly, and for a moment wondered how she’d put up with him all through their adolescent years.

“I abandoned her,” He told them.  “We were supposed to go to New York together, but I left her” He frowned deeply, but the corner of his lips twitched up in a small smile.  “But when she came back… when we all came back she…”

It was like his voice broke at that point, and he shoved his glasses back onto his nose.

“She still loved me anyways” He finished in a hushed voice.

“Of course she did,” Beverely cooed.  “No one’s ever loved anything as much as (y/n) loved you” She told him sincerely.

“Back then and now,” Ben added.  “Just so you know.  It was always obvious to the rest of us”

Richie’s lips pulled into a small smile at everyone’s kind words, but they didn’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.

Everyone gathered around him to embrace tightly, all mourning the loss of their friend, and admiring her for saving all of them in her own little ways.

“I just miss her so much,” Richie whimpered, leaning his head down onto Eddie’s shoulder as he cried.  “I don’t know how to go about the rest of my life now without her”

“Day by day,” Bill said softly.  “We’ll get a gravesite for her, alright? So we can visit?”

Richie nodded, wiping at his face.

“Yeah, that’d be nice” He mumbled out.  (y/n) wouldn’t have wanted to be buried and forgotten in the place Neibolt once stood.  She’d want a real memorial, and Richie wanted it for her.

He was going to do for her what she deserved, for the rest of his damned life, he swore it.

It would’ve been in his vows, anyways.

___

taglist: @hippeyhaley (i'd had my taglist for IT closed bc i didn’t think i'd be writing for it again, but i'll re-open in the case that i do continue writing for it, hmu if you want to be added)

don’t worry, here’s the alternate ending.  i knew y’all would cry about it.

xoxo ~ jordie

#IT #IT fanfiction #Richie Tozier #Richie Tozier x reader #Richie tozier fanfiction #richie tozier scenario #richie tozier imagine #finn wollfhard x reader #bill hader x reader

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)

So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.

I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.

I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)

🍰 for @shotosimp2

Romantic Matchup

Oikawa Tooru

How yall met

Ok im ngl

Y'all had know clue who each other were

Well that's a lie

Of course you knew who Oikawa was

But you just didn't care

Now Oikawa always saw you around school

You know...in the school uniform

But one day

He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory

And apart of him was like bitch wtf

And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗

So he approached you and complimented your outfit

And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading

Wait

You just said thanks???

No fan girling????

Not even a blush??????

Nothing????????????

OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street

But you went to school with him?

So you had to know who he was right?

Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction

The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you

And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know

Oikawa: >:o

Then Iwa had a brilliant idea

Get this

Maybe

Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him

Wild theory I know

So now Oikawa had a new goal

Befriending you

It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together

Soon enough you guys became close friends

And oikawa was happy with just being your friend

At least...he thought he was

But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months

And even though you had each others numbers

Everything without you just seemed so dull

Omg

Did he really have feelings for you?

The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you

Like LIKED liked you

So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you

And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too

So you said yes

What they love about you

He loves how normal you treat him

Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity

Expected it even

But the more time he spent around you

The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally

Ok screw what your friend says

He loves your humor!

Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit

If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages

85% of it would be dumb ass memes

And honestly

This boy makes jokes about his trauma too

“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”

“Sure”

“My existence”

“...”

“...”

“Ayyyyy”

“Ayyyyy”

He loves how easy it is to talk to you

Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before

And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE

So yeah

Trust between you two

ASTRONOMICAL

What you love about them

You love how supportive he is

If you say you wanna do something

He is right behind you cheering you on

You could tell him you want to commit arson

And he'd just be like

Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅

You can always count on this man to be in your corner

Speaking of

You can always count on oikawa period

Which is another thing that you love about him

If oikawa is anything

He is a man of his word

If he says hes gonna do something

You know he's gonna do it

He's just overall a really reliable person

You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better

Fr after you guys started dating your grades went

Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him

But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better

And if you do improve on something

He is HYPING you up

“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”

Favorite things to do together

Yall love to just go to the store and window shop

Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes

So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room

Taking pictures of your outfits

Then leaving

Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…

But who cares what they think

And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things

Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food

Cause why not

Random Hc

He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME

But like, can you blame him????

You're not even 5 feet tall!!!

“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”

Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”

“Touche”

He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE

Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗

He called you every day while you were studying abroad

He even sent you a oikawa plushie

You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it

When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport

Astrology

Virgo + Cancer

Compatibility 80%

Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.

The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.

If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.

In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.

If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.

If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.

Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.

If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.

This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.

This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.

Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.

Overall Aesthetic

Grunge Glamour ✨

Songs -

Tia tamera (Doja Cat)

Verbratem (mother mother

Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)

Hayloft (mother mother)

Stupid (ashnikko)

#haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #oikawa hcs #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa headcanons #oikawa tooru

[austennerdita2533]

Hey! Hope all is well!! First of all, thank you for all the links to save money on books. I checked them out and plan to use some with buying books!! And don’t worry I have other self-restraint issues-mine come more from the fact that I get bored easily so I have about 4-5 books going at the same time. That way I can switch up genres when I need it (for instance I always have a fantasy, a romance, and a dark romance all available to me at the same time because those are my favorites) but sometimes more than one of the genres too. I also am terrible at following a tbr for instance I have been wanting to read Ugly Love for months now but then as I get closer to finishing a book a different book grabs my attention and must be read asap. But to prevent money spending I just browse through kindle and download a free sample of books I want to try instead of buying them right away. Plus I have a rule with myself that I have to read the first 10% of the book that the free sample gives me before I buy anything because at that point I can tell if I like the writing style, the potential story, etc. Just because I don’t want to buy a book and not finish it so I don’t want to waste my money and time. It has worked well so far! I mean there really has only been one book (well series) that I did not buy because I could not even get through a chapter (unfortunately that was the from blood and ash series which I know is a big hit but personally the writing style just was not for me)but it still saved me money!!

I heard about the Book of Night by Holly Black I am really looking forward to it!! I have other friends who adore Jurdan so we are all pumped to see her take on an adult romance and the summary sounded really cool!!

I will have to check out Anxious People for sure!!

But anyway I finally finished The Atlas Six!! Honestly I would have finished it sooner but I got into a romance mood so I went and read both Birthday Girl, Punk 57, and Credence by Penelope Douglas. Definitely recommend Birthday Girl if you like age gap relationships-it is a big one though so if those are not for you I do not recommend it. Punk 57 was okay, I was expecting a little more out of it than I got and I only read it since they were pen pals and I love letter writing but there was not a whole lot of that. And Credence well Credence is what it is LOL it is SUPER taboo and not for everyone and I feel slightly ashamed to say I enjoyed it, but I do not know you well enough on a personal basis to say read it or not read it because well it is wild and it is really a book that I think you love or you epically hate and think people are insane for liking. So look up at your own risk.

But did you end up finishing atlas six?? I do not want to talk about it unless you finished it!! What were your thoughts on the characters/plot/ships?? I am super excited about the future of it!! Olivie confirmed it will be a trilogy recently. I think the next book comes out next year. I also want to start some of her other books like Alone With You in the Ether. I just really enjoyed her writing style and the way she develops characters.

Can’t wait to talk about it with you once you get through it!!

-ACOTAR anon

Hello, hello! I'm embarrassed it's taken me so long to get back to you, I apologize! I haven't had access to WiFi the last week and a half so I haven't been on here much. I went away with two of my closest girlfriends and we were busy laughing, chatting, and goofing the time away--pretty standard with us, tbh. We're a bunch of Chatty Kathy's whenever we're around each other. 😄

But yayyy! I'm so happy you might be able to use some of those money saving book sites. They've been a godsend for me, truly. I mean, I still spend double what I ought on books but at least I can rationalize it because I know I'm saving some money lol. That's smart of you to have established that rule where you read 10% of the sample first before you buy the book. I might have to try that. I hate when I buy a book only to find myself disappointed because I don't enjoy the writing style or the story. I do usually read excerpts, but they're not always long enough for me to tell if I might like something or not.

I'm sorry you didn't care for the From Blood and Ash series. That seems to be hit or miss for a lot people. I believe I have the first two books on my Kindle (which I scored cheaply from Kindle Daily Deals lol) so I will get into it at some point. I'm curious which way I will land.

I don't know how people only read one book at a time. (No hate, just amazed lol.) Like you, I usually have at least 2, sometimes 3 or 4, books in rotation because I want to slip into different genres depending on my mood. And also depending on the time of day. Sometimes I prefer to read fantasies or thrillers during the day because they're exciting. I don't want to stop reading. Now, romances and non-fiction I will read at night, before bed. They're good genres to lull me to sleep with their facts and/or fluffiness.

I'm gonna have to check out Penelope Douglas. I'm not that familiar with her writing, but I'm always looking for new romance authors. You seemed so shy/embarrassed about liking Credence that I HAD to go and look up the summary lolol. You can't say "taboo" and then have me not investigate. My interest is piqued! The polyamory angle sounds fun. I've only read it in fic for the most part so this one's going on the tbr. As is Birthday Girl with the age gap. They both sound deliciously promising!

Something to know about me when it comes to books, to reading: I'm a daredevil. There's literally nothing I won't try at least once. There are times I balk AT MYSELF for the things I pick up knowingly, willingly, but I never regret it. Not even when I read something disturbing enough to give me nightmares. Which has definitely happened. 😂

And yes, I have finished The Atlas Six. I tore through that book so fast! I kept sneaking reading it when I was supposed to be doing other things. I loved that it was a character-driven fantasy because those are my favorite. And the magical system is so cool! It's such a creative blend of science and magic--like, the way she embedded particle physics and the multiverse into everything set my nerd flag flying like you wouldn't believe haha. The characters all have that morally gray Six of Crows vibe to them, too. They're enigmatic. Hard to pin down. They're all thrown together out of necessity not because they like each other, and it was fun to see how attachments did or did not form. I liked Callum the least. However, he's also one of the characters who intrigues me the most because I have no idea wtf he wants. There's no way to parse what his endgame is right now besides self-preservation. Nico is a conceited wise ass, so naturally I love him. Parisa and Reina both terrify me for different reasons. Parisa screams I AM A SIREN so I don't want to tread too close to her. Reina, I think, is going to just, like, detonate the whole planet at some point. She has so much untapped power. Tristan grew on me the most. I didn't care for him much in the beginning because he was an asshole, but then little by little, his layers start to peel back and you see how much he cares. How much he feels. Libby I related to a lot because I've spent most of my life feeling like an outcast like her. And the fact that she's constantly battling inadequacy--oof! That hit me.

As far as ships go, sheesh, I gotta say I'm conflicted! I feel like there are so many different directions the author could go??? It's rare for me not to know where the romance is headed, even this early on in the series, but I really don't.

Parisa and Dalton seem to be the most obvious ship right now. Even so, there's something dark, something dangerous and unknown lurking there so I don't know if that'll work out. Nico and Libby have the enemies-to-lovers type banter and dynamic that I love to gobble up. They're a lot of fun. I enjoy their scenes a lot. It's interesting that they're bound/connected in their powers, too. I can't wait to learn more about that. I'd be totally fine if they went romantic...but then I'm also picking up a vibe between him and his roommate. So I don't know what to think? I could get behind Libby and Tristan as well. Their unresolved tension leaps - literally LEAPS - off the page and I like how their dynamic progressed from dislike (on his end) to respect to something more...well, undefinable as of yet. There's palpable sexual/emotional energy between them, though, for sure. Callum seems to genuinely care about Tristan but he's been so damn manipulative! He'd have to jump through some hoops for me to get on board.

As you can see I babble a LOT when I get excited haha.

Anyway, what about you? Do you have any favorite characters or ships so far? That twist at the end was pretty good, don't you think? It blew the whole story wide open. I'm so looking forward to the rest of the trilogy.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts! xx

#anonyous #darling acotar anon #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks books

[dragonnan]

This is faaaar from a complete list and will be spotty at best but I’ve been pondering MCU characters a lot as I’ve been getting slowly back to work on my mega-fic.  I LOVE minor head canons.  Simple stuff like favorite foods or what music they listen to or were they ever a smoker or whatever whatever.  So I’m gonna give myself the challenge of crafting some head canon and anyone else is very welcome to dive in! (some things are already established via canon)

~ Ethnicity ~ Faith ~ Smoker ~ Alcohol ~ Favorite food ~ Favorite cookie ~ Favorite animal(s) ~ Favorite music ~

Tony Stark:  Ethnicity: Mixed European-American-Jewish (he refers to himself as a “mutt”) Faith: “No thanks” being the initial answer but if he feels like opening up he’ll admit to believing there’s likely “something” out there but at the same time figures that “something” stopped caring about humanity a long long time ago.  Smoker?  Never liked cigarettes but smoked a few cigars when he was younger due to Obie’s influence.  He never was a big fan but wanted to fit in with his mentor.  Alcohol: Influenced both by his father and Obie, Tony started drinking hard liquor semi-regularly as young as 14 (his Dad let him try his first sip at the age of 6).  He pretty much sticks with Scotch or Bourbon but is not opposed to cheap beer at a ball game.  In fact the cheaper the better - a requirement for any self-respecting American.  Favorite food: hot dogs.  Neither one of his parents cooked.  Breakfast and lunch were whatever whenever for all three of them but dinner? You better be sure you were at that table before the plates were set down or you could go without (and Tony got a slap from his father when he’d observed that rule only seemed to apply to him).  But on the nights he was sent to his room, Jarvis would slip upstairs, later, with a sandwich or, on really rough nights, a couple of hotdogs.  Favorite cookie: Those Christmas wreath ones made with cereal and marshmallow with the cinnamon candies.  Favorite animal(s): he likes all animals but if he had to pick one for a pet he’d get an iguana.  Favorite music: well duh lolol.   

Stephen Strange: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American (borrowed from Benedict Cumberbatch’s ethnicity and adding the American) Faith: Originally atheist but now closer to Buddhist.  Smoker:  Never.  Even prior to becoming a sorcerer he has always been conscious of what he takes into his body; especially given the history of cancer on his mother’s side of the family.  Alcohol:  Wine, occasionally, though he isn’t really a social drinker per-say.  Favorite food:  The spicy shrimp and pork dumplings from a Thai place in Midtown.  Favorite cookie: Hmmm.... not a big sweets guy but he won’t turn away a few ginger-pecan cookies with coffee.  Favorite animal(s): dogs - unequivocally.  He had a border collie growing up on his family farm in Nebraska.  Favorite music: please don’t make this poor man actually have to choose.  

Steve Rogers: Ethnicity: Irish (as per comics) Faith? Irish-Catholic (as per the comics).  Smoker? Prior to the serum there was no way he could safely do so with his health issues.  After he started traveling with the performers all of the girls in the group smoked and he tried it out a few times but never developed a taste for it.  Alcohol: he drank A LOT - easy enough to do as it never had any real effect on him.  He enjoys scotch and bourbon (a taste he picked up from hanging around Howard Stark).  Steve seems to low-key always have the munchies (like most enhanced) and once Tony picked up on that there are always a variety of snacks scattered here and there throughout the compound (also of benefit for Bruce, Peter, Thor, and, later, Bucky).  Steve’s favorite foods typically remind him of his mother’s cooking.  While they’d never had much (especially after his father died) his mom could do a lot with limited supplies.  She used to make a fantastic meat pie with ground beef or tongue.  He hates SPAM.  They ate it in the Army, constantly, and just the smell will occasionally send him back to those days and not in a good way.  Favorite cookie?  Oreos.  He can clean up a family sized pack in like 10 minutes.  Steve loves animals but is especially fond of horses and dogs.  There was a dog in his unit in WW2 and Steve, like most of the other men, would share bites of his rations with it.  Steve is nostalgic about music from the 40s but finds that 70s rock really resonates with him.      

Bucky Barnes: Ethnicity: Romanian-American (borrowing a little from Sebastian Stan’s ethnicity) Faith? Possibly agnostic.  Smoker? Heck yes - both cigarettes and cigars.  Like Steve, the serum he received (via Hydra’s experimentation) means he gets to dodge the detrimental side effects of smoking.  Alcohol: He likes to drink but is almost exclusively a beer drinker.  He has a big appetite but refuses to eat around others if he can at all help it.  His favorite food is corned beef with cabbage.  Steve’s grandmother was an Irish immigrant and would make it every Sunday before the war impacted rations.  Since both Bucky’s parents were dead he’d often have dinner with his best friend.  Also, unlike Steve, he actually likes SPAM.  But then, arguably, he isn’t terribly picky about food in general.  Favorite cookie: molasses.  Favorite animal(s): birds - eagles in particular - though he doesn’t look too deeply at the psychology of their ability to just fly away.  Needless to say a crafty observer might spot a former Winter Soldier tossing seeds towards the pigeons.  Favorite music: He’s pretty eclectic though he shies away from anything too loud like death metal.  He finds classical very soothing.       

Peter Parker: Ethnicity: Mixed American-Scandinavian-German-ish Faith: Protestant upbringing but unsure where he currently stands. If pressed he’d say he’s “leaving his options open” Smoker?  “Oh gross!” Alcohol: “Um, too young to drink, thanks! But if I WERE to... you know, try it just to taste it there was this mudslide at one of Flash’s parties that was super good...” Favorite food: spaghetti and meatballs.  Lots of meatballs.  Favorite cookie: chocolate chocolate chip with chunks.  Favorite animal(s): NOT spiders.  And NOT birds given how many rooftops he’s traversed layered in pigeon ick.  He’d probably say cats.  Favorite music: The B side of techno rock - especially Depeche Mode.

Peter Quill: Ethnicity:  Half mixed American and half celestial.  Faith: His Dad was a god and he killed him so he figures he probably isn’t on the best terms with the Big G God should He... or She... or Them... be out there.  Look he just wants to do his thing and cause a little trouble without mixing it up with any other celestial types but if they DO wanna throw down he’d like to point out that he’s 1 for 1 and willing to rumble.  Smoker: He would not say no to a really good cigar and may have possibly lifted a case from Yondu’s stash when he struck out on his own.  Alcohol:  Anywhere any time and in large quantities.  Favorite food:  A thick steakhouse bacon burger with potato chips right on the patty.  Extra cheese please!  Favorite cookie: He’s a simple guy with simple tastes.  classic chocolate chip no frills no fuss and fresh from the oven.  Favorite animal(s):  He likes dogs - who doesn’t like dogs?  But he really likes cows.  Just maybe don’t mention the burger thing.  Favorite music:    

Thor: He’s a Norse god of legend so I figure we can forego the ethnicity/faith questions lol.  Smoker: He has never understood this human custom nor has he felt any inclination to try it himself  Alcohol: Beer, mead, and anything capable of knocking him on his ass.  Favorite food:  chili with ghost peppers.  Though nowhere near as hot as the fire chilies of Muspelheim (which would be instantly fatal for humans so its just as well).  Favorite cookie: strawberry cheesecake with macadamia nuts.  Favorite animal(s):  It’s a tossup between bilgesnipe and whales.  Favorite music:  The mighty horns of battle!  He also enjoys old school country, much to Tony’s disgust.  The story aspect of that music is what appeals to him.

Bruce Banner: Ethnicity: Italian-American  Faith: Catholic in his childhood; currently Atheist or maybe agnostic.  Smoker: He tends to avoid any substances for, you know, obvious reasons.  Alcohol: See previous.  Favorite food:  Waffles with sliced mango.  Favorite cookie: Oatmeal.  Favorite animal(s):  Mantis shrimp - “did you know they can generate so much power in their attacks that they can briefly super-heat the water up to 7,700 °C??”  Favorite music:  Indian- especially Krishna Bhajan.    

Clint Barton: Ethnicity:  Mixed European-American and Panamanian.  Faith:  His parents were both Protestant but he’s never latched on to any specific faith and hasn’t really devoted a lot of thought on the matter.  He has a sorta loose idea of “maybe something out there” but that’s all the further he’s gotten on the subject.  What he tells anyone who asks it’s that his religion is coffee.  Smoker: Briefly when he was a teen.  Alcohol:  Beer - he’s a fan of dark lager.  Favorite food:  Coney Island dogs, Pizza, and pickle flavored potato chips.  Favorite cookie:   Monster cookies with the mini M&Ms.  Favorite animal(s): Dogs  Favorite music:  80s rock and some country.

Natasha Romanoff: Ethnicity:  Russian.  Faith:  She was not given much choice when younger and was raised as “state atheist” (per comics).  In the years since escaping that life, however, she has tried to discover more about herself.  Her parents were both Russian Jewish and there has been a pull to discover more about that faith - especially since meeting Wanda - who is Jewish.  Smoker:  No.  Alcohol: Some vodka - that’s a given.  But she actually prefers wine; and honestly her favorites are wine spritzers.  Favorite food:   Favorite cookie: Krumkake filled with creme and berries.  Favorite animal(s): Favorite music:  Overall she listens to a pile of little-known bands and whomever is playing at whatever bar in whatever city she happens to be in.  She also is a huge fan of old school Spice Girls.

[edengarden]

Hi! May I have a romantic heaven box BNHA matchup, please? :)

I'm Flo, a 19 years old bisexual girl.

Appearance: I'm 164 cm(~5'3) tall, with slim, kinda athletic body. I have medium long brown hair and same coloured deer-eyes(probably most attractive part on me), I also wear eyesglasses. I have thin mouth unfortunately. Also, I have a tiny little scar above my right eyebrow(I opened our car's door on my head years ago lolol), it's barely visible. I'm vain and always dress like a lady: so dresses and skirts, I have a classy, elegant or cute style, depends on my daily outfit. I wear light makeup, but not all the time.

Personality: Ambiverted, Virgo with Leo ascendant and Pisces moon. Slytherpuff. Needless to say, these already represent how confusingly dual my personality is. My behaviour constatntly changes, depending on who I am with: I try to sell myself, being two-faced, wearing a mask(sometimes I appear to be talkative, other times full-stoic), but to people I really do love, I'm quite blunt. Most of the time I'm caring and relatively kind person(but can be an asshole&harsh if tired emotionally). Highly critical, opinionated and rational-thinker, and I usually analyze everything: movies, books, other people, myself. HATE small talk, I always want to talk about some deep shit, sharing my opinions, thougts(only if you ask for it). Enjoy debating. Also, I'm the REALLY clumsy, like clumsy af and I have an invincible talent in getting myself into the most embarrassing, cringe situations. Hate appearing to be weak or crying in front of others(I never do), and generally I can get melancolic and depressed easily. I don't really trust even my loved ones, I always hide my deepest emotional(or whatever) issues, I just can't stand the fact being emotionally vulnerable. Also, I bottle up feelings well. But I can be soft sometimes which suprises people. One of my best friends said, I am suprising, always doing something unpredicted. Additionally, I stress over something all the time. About my humour, it's kinda ironic, dark, morbid, troll-ish; roasting, teasing people 24/7. Don't worry, despite my sometimes serious act, I can be a total dumb idiot. Selfish, vain, lazy,  snobbish hahah. Quite liberal, and I almost never judge people, I mind my own buisness. When I can talk about something I love or just sharing my opinion, I am passionate and be ready for a LONG rambling. Oh, I love alcohol and going out with friends, also I smoke those occassions. Plus, I have god-like hands, everyone told me that I could earn money bc of my massaging skills(I just know by instict how to touch people lol). Oh, and I daydream and zone out a lot. I love going out and drink alcohol with my friends(and sometimes somoke too), the drunken me can be a real asshole, but also hugs out of the blue, I get softer. Oh, and I curse fucking much, I have a disgustingly flithy mouth, bc of my rather innocent appearance and behavior ppl are suprised how much is... cruse.

Relationship: I don't really have a 'type' but I get bored easily: I takes a lot for me to really like in long-term a person, so I fall easier for complex and charismatic ones(but like I said, I can fall for other personalities too!!). I'm a quite difficult person to be with and to love, so I'm suprisingly flexible in a relationship. Only thing I need and without it wouldn't work at all: DEEP CONVOS AND SOME INTELLECT. Also, I have a quite roasting-bullying type humour, so my lover should understand and being able to handle that. Anyways, I'm not much of a PDA person(but I don't mid handholding, short hugs etc. if my partner really want to), and not romantic at all(also cannot flirt hehe), and for a long time I can be bit distant. Love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and if I have to express my feelings I'm best with acts of service. I love cuddling, ppl are suprised when I initiate hugs but tbh I love physical affection. I'm probably more likely the 'friend' lover. I need a lot, lot, lot alone time.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music, cats, thunderstorms, rainy days, cider, tequila

Music taste: Oh man, MIXED. I listen to literally everything except techno, it depends on my mood honestly. But if I had to say something, I think indie, alternative rock, electronic and psychedelic songs are the closest to me, but I've grown to listen more and more rap. Most of the songs are depressive as fuck, I mean I can be at my happiest, but I'd still listen some dark shit. But still, I enjoy pop(2000s pop at parties FUCK YEAH), jazz. Also, some occassions all my ears and mind need is some good ol' classical music. Some faves: Tame Impala, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jack Stauber, Fink and some Hungarian bands that no one knows unfortunately. :(

Sorry if I was too long and more sorry if I've already requested before(my brain just rots lol), then just ignore me, hehe~♡

Did you,,, did you just copy paste like 3/4 of who I am

Man when I was reading your persona I was going “RinRinRinRinRinRin-“ but I decided against it UwU

ALL IN ALL you honestly sound like my type of person?? Like deadass I’d wanna befriend you. Fuck them small talks tell me what you think of the expansion of the universe and let’s talk about what if drugs are illegal bc they make us perceive true reality-

I’m going to match you up with... Shindo!

This one is a Battle of Wits, I swear. You didn’t trust him a single bit when the two of you first met, no one even thought you’d ever become friends. Shindo could practically see the gears turning in your head and quite frankly he was impressed?? You’re a highly intelligent individual who was able to keep your guard up and seclude yourself from others while not appearing TOO unapproachable? Boy was whipped and he didn’t even realize it. While others thought you were sort of cold and pragmatic, he thought you were the most well-balanced human in the world.

You guys 100% had an enemies to lovers thing going on, but it was slightly different. YOU started off completely uninterested in him, but while he made you think the feeling was mutual, I think Shindo found himself gravitating towards you. You can bet he secretly celebrated every little victory and step forward he made with you. Boy did NOT let up.

I seriously think he’s entertaining enough for you to keep interest in him. Shindo is as two-faced as you are (if not more), and he WILL change his behaviour within a second to keep your interest (somehow no one noticed his habit of doing that when he was crushing on you?? SUSPICIOUS). Also not a big fan of small talk; if he’s interested in you, he wants to know how you tick. He wants to know what you enjoy, what you like and what you dislike. And when you tell him while trying to still keep an emotional distance from him, he takes it as a challenge. No, he doesn’t think your relationship is a game, but he does think it’s highly entertaining and interesting.

When you start softening up to him, he won’t even grow bored. He’s worked so hard to get close to you and it finally pays off and he’s so happy??

But he won’t ever initiate PDA, just because he too has an image to uphold lmao if others don’t personally know you they’d never know y’all are falling for each other.

Songs!!

- One of My Turns, Pink Floyd (“don’t look so frightened this is just a passing phase one of my bad days” just hits different for the two of you?? I’m not saying your relationship is toxic bc it really isn’t but the VIBE is there)

- Do I Wanna Know?, Arctic Monkeys

- Dollar Days, David Bowie

- You Give Love A Bad Name, Bon Jovi

#mha matchup #bnha matchup #mha #bnha #shindo yo

[jumnthepurestbean]

Can I please request the RFA (+ V,Saeran and Vanderwood if you can) with a MC who has issues trusting them after her father was unfaithful to her mother? How would they convince her that they would never cheat on her? thank you in advance

*Falls to the ground* I’m back!!! After a very tiring semester, I am finally feeling inspired to write again. Let’s get through some asks, but also I’m a little bit rusty on writing these characters. Regardless, thank you very much, Anon!

RFA+V+Saeran+Vanderwood x MC with Trust Issues

Jumin

Tries to be understanding.

He is lowkey upset because he doesn’t like being compared to others, especially in such a negative way. Why on earth would MC think he would unfaithful?

But he doesn’t let it bother him too much.

Uses very rational arguments to get MC to see that Jumin is nothing like his father and their relationship will be different.

If rationality doesn’t work, then he will use…feelings

By that I mean he will talk about how he feels uncomfortable with his father’s own relationship habits.

Also, the fact that he would never have any relation with women that throw themselves at him.

Yoosung

This is actually a very interesting idea because, in Yoosung’s route, one piece of conflict is Yoosung constantly comparing MC to Rika.

So, when MC expresses her mistrust, it will kind of make Yoosung realize what he was doing to MC with Rika.

Probably with the help of Jaehee and Zen goddamn they’re such good friends in that route

Anyway, I think that Yoosung would show how dedicated and loyal to MC he is.

He’ll give up LOLOL for her!

He’ll do better in school for her!

Anything she wishes, he would do it for her!

Zen

Feeds into his men are wolves theory

Will probably wrap her up in his arms and go over all the things he loves about MC.

He will sit there for hours talking about every cute freckle on MC’s cute nose until she understands that he loves her!

Probably gets MC a promise ring or something like that.

Then probably dedicates a performance to her. Some sort of grand gesture to let the world know Zen loves MC.

Jaehee

Understandable.

Jaehee knows how opening up to people, especially after you’ve been hurt, can be a very terrifying experience.

Goes the more rational approach like Jumin

But tries to be more assuring that she would never cheat on her.

Tries to more communicative with MC.

Communication is key to any relationship and that is probably what broke up MC’s parents.

Saeyoung

“Lol same.”

Daddy issues squad!

He tries to think about ways that would convince him to trust MC.

Probably will make sure to be more open with his feelings and make sure she knows that MC is the only one for him.

But in a more…quiet way than Zen or even Yoosung.

Just quiet moments where Saeyoung will give an honest compliment to her.

No joking.

All seriousness.

V

Will probably sit MC down and show her his art of her.

Every painting, every photo, every small sketch on a napkin he has kept.

As MC looks at he’s probably internally screaming “This is too much, she’ll probably think I’m creepy”

But nope.

This is how V shows his love.

He has tried to capture MC’s essences in his art with passion and precision.

Saeran

Again “lol same.”

Saeran knows how hard it is to trust people.

Will try and explain this to MC.

“I know how hard it is to open up to someone, especially when you’ve experienced pain. But why don’t we try doing this together?”

Takes MC’s hand.

“I’m braver when I’m holding your hand.”

Blushing ///..///

Vanderwood

“I am not going to cheat on you.”

Stressed when that doesn’t work.

Tries to be more rational about this and make MC understand that he’s not like her father.

“Did your father have style like me?”

“Pffft no.”

“Then I’m different.”

What a dork

If you’re feeling generous then go over to my ko-fi!

#Jumin Han #Yoosung Kim #jihyun kim #hyun ryu #jaehee kang #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #Vanderwood #mystic messenger #myseme

[paradise-creator]

Hi! May I have a romantic heaven box BNHA matchup, please? :)

I'm Flo, a 19 years old bisexual girl.

Appearance: I'm 164 cm(~5'3) tall, with slim, kinda athletic body. I have medium long brown hair and same coloured deer-eyes(probably most attractive part on me), I also wear eyesglasses. I have thin mouth unfortunately. Also, I have a tiny little scar above my right eyebrow(I opened our car's door on my head years ago lolol), it's barely visible. I'm vain and always dress like a lady: so dresses and skirts, I have a classy, elegant or cute style, depends on my daily outfit. I wear light makeup, but not all the time.

Personality: Ambiverted, Virgo with Leo ascendant and Pisces moon. Needless to say, these already represent how confusingly dual my personality is. My behaviour constatntly changes, depending on who I am with: I try to sell myself, being two-faced, wearing a mask(sometimes I appear to be talkative, other times full-stoic), but to people I really do love, I'm quite blunt. Most of the time I'm caring and relatively kind person(but can be an asshole&harsh if tired emotionally). Highly critical, opinionated and rational-thinker, and I usually analyze everything: movies, books, other people, myself. HATE small talk, I always want to talk about some deep shit, sharing my opinions, thougts(only if you ask for it). Enjoy debating. Also, I'm the REALLY clumsy, like clumsy af and I have an invincible talent in getting myself into the most embarrassing, cringe situations. Hate appearing to be weak or crying in front of others(I never do), and generally I can get melancolic and depressed easily. I don't really trust even my loved ones, I always hide my deepest emotional(or whatever) issues, I just can't stand the fact being emotionally vulnerable. Also, I bottle up feelings well. But I can be soft sometimes which suprises people. One of my best friends said, I am suprising, always doing something unpredicted. Additionally, I stress over something all the time. About my humour, it's kinda ironic, dark, morbid, troll-ish; roasting, teasing people 24/7. Don't worry, despite my sometimes serious act, I can be a total dumb idiot. Selfish, vain, lazy,  snobbish hahah. Quite liberal, and I almost never judge people, I mind my own buisness. When I can talk about something I love or just sharing my opinion, I am passionate and be ready for a LONG rambling. Oh, I love alcohol and going out with friends, also I smoke those occassions. Plus, I have god-like hands, everyone told me that I could earn money bc of my massaging skills(I just know by instict how to touch people lol). Oh, and I daydream and zone out a lot.

Relationship: I don't really have a 'type' but I get bored easily: I takes a lot for me to really like in long-term a person, so I fall easier for complex and charismatic ones(but like I said, I can fall for other personalities too!!). I'm a quite difficult person to be with and to love, so I'm suprisingly flexible in a relationship. Only thing I need and without it wouldn't work at all: DEEP CONVOS AND SOME INTELLECT. Also, I have a quite roasting-bullying type humour, so my lover should understand and being able to handle that. Anyways, I'm not much of a PDA person(but I don't mid handholding, short hugs etc. if my partner really want to), and not romantic at all(also cannot flirt hehe), and for a long time I can be bit distant. Love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and if I have to express my feelings I'm best with acts of service. I love cuddling, ppl are suprised when I initiate hugs but tbh I love physical affection. I'm probably more likely the 'friend' lover. I need a lot, lot, lot alone time.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music

Sorry if I was too long, then just ignore me, hehe~

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Flashes of memory

- Such a loser

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Bakugou Katsuki, Dynamight

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

- Honestly it took me a LONG time to think who you would match with

- There was Momo, Jiro, Denki, and Iida. I just couldnt pick

- But in the end, I choose my first option, Bakugou

- With Bakugou, one is never bored

- His sarcasm and snarky attitude can prove to be entertaining!

- Though he may not seem like it, Bakugou seem like a type of person that will never do small talk

- He's more of a listener tbh

- At first the relationship may be rough but in the end it all works out

- Bakugo is a complicated character, it's hard to read him and that's what makes it exciting

- He isn't into pda but in private, expect some INTIMATE times

- AGRESSIVE COMFORT

- He finds you so cute and entertaining whenever you tease/Bully other people

- ROAST COMPETITION NO CAP

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Flashes of memory

Bakugou: Oi, Dumass!

Requester: Yes?

Bakugou: I Fucking love you so stop being a Dumbass!

Requester: I love you too and I'M NOT A DUMBASS

Bakugo: Your MY dumb

------------------------

Random guy: *Flirts with requester*

Requester: *Is trying not to kill the man*

Bakugou: TAKE THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! DON'T FLIRT WITH MY IDIOT

Kirishima: Ah, here we go again--BAKUBRO DON'T KILL HIM

-------------------------

Bakugo: OI, NERD

Requester: *ignores*

Bakugo: OI DUMBASS DONT IGNORE ME!

Requester: *Continues to ignore*

Bakugo: Fine! I'm sorry for gatting you mad

Requester: That wasn't so hard now is it?

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Such a loser

"Oi, I heard from Shittyhair you've been criticizing yourself to harshly again. What are you such a dumbass?" Bakugou yelled as she stomped his way towards his girlfriend. "And what if I am?" She replied as she looked away from her book. The brown haired girl was just peacefully reading in her dorm. Nothing much was really going on, she was just studying. She has the tendency to be harsh on herself. And with classmates like hers, it often happens. And as a Boyfriend, Bakugou thinks it's his responsibility and his problem that if his love is sad or hurt or insecure, he will make sure they are loved.

"Get off of the fucking floor and go to bed. We're gonna cuddle and you can't say no as an answer," Bakugo growled. The girl sighed and placed her book down, it's not like she wants to deny anyway. So they went to lay on the bed. Bakugo pulled her head on his chest and wrapped an arm around her." You idiot! Stop being harsh on yourself, dammit," He said as he placed his head on top of hers. "You are already perfect. That's why you got to shut taht pretty little mouth of yours and accept that you are," He added.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

Hello there! Sorry for the wait, I was quite tired but here is the Haven box as requested.

#☁️matchup #anime #fanfic #fiction #bnha matchup #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #mha bakugou #match ups #match up requests