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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 year

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Butterfly I

a/n I'm clawing my way into this fandom since salt and pepper god took over my brain! Be gentle with me since it's my first time writing for this man! Happy reading! 🤍

summery: When Joel thinks that his life is over his little butterfly sends him a new reason to stay alive. The only problem is that he doesn't know how to love but when you are the meaning of love itself how can he not fall.

Part II can be found on my blog

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World had ended twenty years ago for Joel. Even more so, he was sure that he had died alongside Sarah. If he had a chance, he would have gladly been buried by his little girl. He didn't have a reason to be alive. Well, there was Tommy, but at that moment even that didn't seem like enough to keep him going. The moment Joel failed to do his first and most important job—protect the ones he loved—changed him without a chance of going back.

The morals had to die soon as well, and Joel had learned it the hard way. He tried to fight and protect the innocent at first. To stupidly ensure that everyone had been taken care of in the same amounts. Well, that resulted in him getting beaten multiple times. He didn't fight it at first. The physical pain numbed the emotional scars. But then something snapped in him, and he longed for the first blow. Then the second. Third. With a realization that this was how his sorry life was going be for the rest of his pointless existence. To fear less, Joel needed to become someone people feared, and he did just that.

Until, after one of his deals, he ended up running into you. Completely by accident as he tried to get away from the people he just had business with. Joel bumped into you, knocking you to the ground and causing you to hit your head on the pavement. "Shit, fuck", the male kneeled beside you cursing. You just laid there, and for a split second, Joel was convinced that you had died, until you let out a growl as you moved your hand to gently touch your pounding head. He debated whether he should just leave you there or take you back to his place. The first option was less complicated and demanded fewer efforts from him, but when he saw your eyes as you tried to look around, seeking to find who had caused such a collision, that's when he knew he couldn't just walk away like that.

Then a smile crept onto your face, followed by a light chuckle, and something inside Joel twisted again. He hadn't heard the sound of laughter in years. "Dang, for a moment I saw white horses running around", you laughed out loud, covering your eyes with your hands. Even more, concern washed over Joel. Had you hit your head that hard? He couldn't afford to get you medication or even a doctor for that. So he did the next best thing - assisted you in getting up and walking you to his place.

Everything after that was made up of Joel trying to hurt you so you would leave him and go your way. He desperately wanted to push you out of his life because he was afraid to admit that Sarah would have loved you. That she would have been nagging him constantly to bring you around. Imagining how life would have been with you before the outbreak. How would it have felt to come home to you making dinner? Hearing you and Sarah laughing together. Joel knew—he knew without even needing to think about it much—that his daughter would have loved you. He wished she had had the opportunity to experience your motherly love. The effortless, endless love that poured from within you. And finally, have a truly normal family built on love.

After all, Joel was convinced that Sarah had sent you to him herself. As if it was her way of making sure, even from heaven, which Joel barely believed in, that her father lived. Not just used up air and wasted his days away but found something to live for. You angrily bandaged Joel's arm one evening after yet another deal had ended poorly, leaving the man with a nasty cut on his forearm. Well, if he could even call that anger. Joel doubted you had that emotion implanted in your brain. You had pushed up your sleeves, not wanting the ends of them to get damp as you moved back and forth between a bowl of warm water and a cloth to clean the blood off his skin. That was the first time Joel saw the ink on your body. A butterfly, and then another one just above the first one.

Joel thought he imagined it at first. He knew he must have looked like a lunatic to you when he gripped your left hand firmly before pushing the material of your sleeve even further up. Three butterflies. All inching further up and up. Butterflies. Sarah loved them; she was Joel's little butterfly. The butterfly that got crushed by the brutality of this world.

"Joel," you carefully mumbled as his fingers traced the tattoos. A flicker of what was behind the mask flashed in his eyes. You knew that he was a broken man. People talked, and even if half of what they were saying was true, it was a lot to go through. Especially alone. Especially after losing the main purpose of your world. "This… when did you get this?", his words came out harsh, as if you should have felt guilty, "Not long before the outbreak. It just…", you giggled to yourself, "Feels silly now that they symbolize growth, a new beginning, and shit". However, it didn't seem stupid to Joel even if he had yanked the cloth out of your hand, pushing you out of the bathroom. Emotions took control of him. He couldn't love you. Couldn't stand you. But the way you kept knocking at the door, concern in your voice as you pleaded with him to let you in, only proved what he already knew. You two had found someone to hold onto. As scary as it may sound.

When Ellie first met you, she couldn't believe that you two were even here and had somehow mutually agreed on something. It seemed impossible to her. You were the polar opposite in her eyes. From the moment in the hallway when Joel had yanked her against the wall, you had warned the male as you leaned over to the girl. Ellie backed away at first, but it's like you had a magical touch, and not even a blink later, she was clinging to you as if you were the last straw for her survival. Joel had only grumbled more at the sight of that. "Get your hands off her," he said, motioning with the gun for the girl to move away, but all you did was tilt your head to the side, giving him one of those looks. "Joel…" you warned him, before turning your attention to the girl, "I'm Y/N, and that's Joel. He's always grumpy. It comes with age, so don't pay too much attention to him." For a moment, Ellie got scared that the gun might now end up being pointed at you, but the male only tightened his jaw before lowering the weapon. And that didn't change when you crossed the wall. You were there talking with her, making sure that she was okay, ensuring that Ellie's desire to communicate was satisfied, while Joel just frowned.

"Here you are", Joel's voice brought you out of your thoughts, and you smiled at him softly. You had just made your way to the safe house. Days of traveling rubbed off on all of you, so you were more than happy to indulge in some peace. "Was wondering where you crept away", even if Joel was 99 percent sure that he was going to find you here once he didn't find you in the dining room. It only took one look outside to know you'd be on the patio. Curled up on the bench watching the sunset. Any time you came by Bill's and Frank's, you always spent your evenings there.

"Missed the view," you mumble, resting your chin on your knees, "Or maybe the fact that there is nothing to fear here." Joel moved to sit next to you. His own eyes admired the view. He stopped doing stuff like this. Before the outbreak, it was work, work, work to keep a roof over everyone's heads, bring food, and give Sarah the best life that she deserved. After… well, moments like this felt almost forbidden. Not to mention that letting your guard down could get you killed. "Come here," Joel said, nudging your shoulder and wrapping his arm around you. Interactions like that between the two of you were rear but not completely foreign. You two had shared the bed numerous times. Joel had offered you a warm embrace when he saw that the world was close to crushing you. But you had never talked about who you two were or if you were anything more than a bed warmer for one another. "You do know that I would do anything to protect you?", Joel spoke out under his breath, bringing you even closer to him. Your heart skipped a beat as you moved your palm to cup his jaw, leaving a couple of kisses there as you nodded.

"Do you think they were happy when they…", you couldn't bring yourself to finish your sentence as the lump in your throat grew bigger. Joel hummed, "They had each other. That's all Bill and Frank needed". You moved to rest your head on Joel's shoulder. Breathing in both the scent of him and the brisk evening breeze. "Do you ever dream about finding the love they had?", the question was silly, truly, and you knew it. You and your existential questions had pissed Joel off more than once, but for some reason, you never stopped asking them. And for some reason, even through gritted teeth, Joel always answered them. The silence fell between you two for a moment. Joel hesitated to give you an answer. The truth was that the ten years you'd spent by his side had been surreal for him. Even if he constantly pushed you away, no matter the arguments you two would have, he always came back to you. Always. And you never walked away. You were always there waiting for him, even when he quite literally told you to get lost. When you were apart, all Joel could think of, was you. Nothing else mattered. He didn't matter. It was you who swirled around his mind. "Well," the male trailed off, "I've already…" But the door on the patio shot open as Ellie walked out, still looking down at the drawing on the shirt you had found for her.

"Hey, did you know that wild berry soup smells like strawberries?", she beamed till her eyes fell on the two of you. Her face instantly shifted since she had never seen you two this close. Well, she assumed that you might be together, but since she didn't see any grown-up interactions being exchanged, she just pushed that thought to the side. "Shit man, you are together. I was talking shit about him to you," Ellie practically cried out as she raised her hands above her head, making you let out a laugh against Joel's shoulder. "We're not dating, bug", "She talked shite about me?" you and Joel said at the same time. The fact that he had gotten visibly offended by it made you let out another chuckle before you tapped his chest a couple of times.

"Girls have to stick together," you shrugged, and Ellie quickly gave Joel the middle finger. "Okay, enough, you two. Go insane, pick something for dinner, and I'll be right behind you," you said, throwing the blanket you had with at the girl, as ushered Ellie inside. You brushed your hand over Joel's chest as you walked towards the door. Joel's brain screamed at him to catch your hand. To make you stop so he could tell you the words he was meaning to say before Ellie walked in, but he didn't. Only tightening his jaw as his lips thinned into a tight line. He was a fool. A true fool who never truly learned to express himself. If only he could, maybe he would be able to call you his.

Joel's gaze immediately shifted to the window that peaked into the inside of the house once the sound of something falling echoed through the air. You and Ellie were on different sides of the island. The girl had one of those smirks that usually led nowhere good on her face. Then the sound of laughter shot through the space as you took off running to grab hold of whatever Ellie was holding in her hands. The girl squealed as you both ran in circles. "Give me the spaghetti hoops, you little thief!", you yelled, but that only made Ellie laugh more. "I'll tell Joel", you tried to threaten her, but she only let out a huff, "You wouldn't snitch", Ellie narrowed her eyes at you. You quickly hopped onto the island and slid to the other side, taking hold of both of Ellie's hands but losing your balance as you two tumbled to the ground. Joel practically ran inside at the sight of that, the worst scenarios already running wild. He couldn't let you get hurt. Neither of you could get hurt.

Joel rounded the corner, his heart already beating fast. And here you were. Ellie was nearly on top of you as you, as you two stared at each other, both still confused at what had just happened. And then there it was again. The laughter. The whole-hearted laughter drenched Joel's heart dry. Your arms wrapped around Ellie as she giggled away, pressing her cheek against your chest. Joel picked up the can of spaghetti hoops that had rolled off and were long forgotten. "Oh no, daddy is here, and he is mad," Ellie shrieked playfully, not lifting her head away from you. "Don't call me that shit," Joel warned her before slamming the can against the counter. He quickly turned around, running a hand over his face. Your expression clouded as well. Carefully, you helped Ellie stand up. Her eyes were looking at you as if she were silently asking if she had overstepped a boundary, but you just gave her a quick wink before pointing to the pot. In a couple of steps, you reached Joel as your hands ran down his back. His muscles tensed under your touch, but the moment you pressed a kiss in between his shoulder blades, Joel let out a sigh. "How about you take a shower while we heat up the food? Clear your mind and all that?", you continued to draw patterns on his skin. Joel didn't say anything as he stepped away from you and over to the stairs.

"Is he mad with me?", Ellie's voice made you turn to her. Her big eyes watched you as you shook your head. "He… well, Joel struggles with his emotions. He cares a lot, but that ends up overwhelming him, and then this happens," you said softly, Ellie nodded her head as if agreeing with you. You nudged her shoulder gently and asked, "Want to make the whole feast tonight? Get the canned sausages out." The shower was indeed all that Joel needed. The hot water took that extra weight of tension off his shoulders, and the fresh set of clothes made him feel like a new man. He was excellent at ignoring his basic needs, but with you, there was no need to worry about that because you always reminded him about all the little things. Things to made him feel better.

Ellie was delivering joke after joke while you all ate. Her energy was surprisingly high, considering that the last couple of days had been rough. "I'm telling you, he just knows all the jokes", she grumbled when Joel hit the right answer to her fifth joke, defeating the purpose of her performance. Joel's hand had slipped under the table, casually resting on your thigh, and you occasionally gave it a little squeeze as if to ensure him that you were here with him. "Okay, can I try?", you weren't much of a jokester, but everyone knew a joke or two. Ellie nodded her head eagerly. You cleared your throat, "What do you call a fish with a bow tie?" You questioned the two of them, trying not to break into a smile. Ellie shrugged her shoulders. "SoFISHticated," Ellie just gaped at you, but Joel snorted under his breath. Your eyes fall on him in an instant. He shook his head, trying to keep the smile off his face. "You laughed, you fucker," Ellie said, pointing her fork at Joel. "I didn't," Joel argued back, "Yes, you fucking did. Y/N tell him", "Yeah, Joel, I consider that a laugh", you moved your hand to gently rub the back of his neck, and his eyes met yours. He got lost in the depths of them just a bit before another laugh escaped his lips. You bit your lip as you watched him, realizing how much you had missed the sound of that. Since the only time you heard it was when the two of you got shitface drunk, and he fell while trying to take his pants off.

"You can fucking laugh. Dude, you're normal," Ellie beamed, watching Joel chuckle. "Eat your noodles before I take them away," Joel warned, reaching over and scooping some of the spaghetti hoops from Ellie's plate, making her protest straight away. She leaned across the table to do the same, but Joel brushes her spoon away easily. "No playing with the food, you two," you gently warn them, even though you enjoyed watching them interact, especially Joel letting her in. They instantly settle back down, even if they continue to watch one another from the corner of their eyes.

Yeah, this was the closest to home that Joel had gotten in over twenty years. Now all he needed to do was own up to his feelings. Admit to himself that the scary feelings won't disappear. But he was going to be equally scared with you or without your officially being a part of his life. And he had promised Sarah, his little butterfly, that he wasn't going to let this go to waste. And that the three butterflies on your hand were possibly you, Joel, and Ellie; that you were all fated to meet. Maybe you two were sent here to change his life. Teach Joel how to fly again.

#joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller imagine #the last of us x reader #the last of us imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine

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squarebracket-trickster · 6 months

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Okay, sometimes advice that is good for a first draft does not work for later drafts.

Like, these are all things people have directly told me when I was talking about problems I was having in my 2nd and 3rd drafts.

Don't edit as you go. The whole point of later drafts is to make edits to the first draft...

You're spending too much time on this one section. Leave it and come back later. I uhhh... I did leave it. I left it and wrote my whole novel multiple times without touching it. Now is later.

Take a break. The inspiration will come. Actually, I don't need inspiration. I have written this entire novel multiple times. I think I have enough inspiration by now. What I need to do is problem solve. That means actively thinking about it, isolating the problem, brainstorming, and trying things. If I waited for inspiration I could be waiting years.

If you are struggling with the POV try changing it. Great advice if you can't seem to finish your first draft. Not so great if you have finished your novel and are just stuck editing a couple of paragraphs. Troubleshooting those paragraphs may take a while but I promise it is less work than rewriting the entire novel in a different POV. Besides, different stories work best in different POVs.

It doesn't have to be perfect. Yeah, uhhh, again, ever heard of the editing stage? Like okay, there are such things as impossible standards, but identifying a problem and trying to fix it is like, a normal part of writing...

Don't ever delete your writing. How else am I supposed to make cuts and edits??? I promise, my first draft (where I deleted nothing) is an untouched file saved in three different places and when I make edits I copy and paste sections into a new document. It's not gone forever. But be realistic. Most of that word vomit is not going to make it into the final manuscript. Believe it or not you do have to kill a few darlings in order for a book to be its best self.

Just write the dialogue. So uhhh... all the dialogue is already written. That's what a first draft is for. Maybe good advice for rewrites but uhhh... there does come a point when you have to write the rest of it.

And yeah...

Sometimes the only way out is through. Sometimes problem solving requires beating life into a dead horse. Sometimes inspiration isn't enough. Sometimes its not just okay but necessary to admit something isn't perfect and that it needs fixing. Sometimes its okay to struggle and be frustrated and that doesn't mean you should take a break. Sometimes there isn't a quick hack, change one thing, that will fix the problem. Sometimes writing is hard and there is no way around it. Takes breaks when you are tired yes, but if you're stuck for too long, I'm sorry but at some point you're going to have to face the problem and get yourself unstuck. You can't keep waiting for the problem to fix itself. It's not going to be fun though.

#this is a vent post sorry guys #writing tips #writing advice #i swore i was going to stay away from writing advice tumblr this time around

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the-boy-meets-evil · 4 months

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right where you left me | ksy & jww

(where you're in an open relationship with soonyoung, who doesn't want to come on your family christmas vacation. it's okay. you run into your ex at the resort anyway.)

pairing: soonyoung (hoshi) x f.reader, ex!wonwoo x f.reader genre: est. relationships, exes to lovers to ??, love triangles | smut, angst??, fluff word count: ~8.6k (yeah, idk either) warnings: open relationship (implied, not explicitly discussed), wonwoo and soonyoung both know about each other (but never actually interact), reader goes away with family for the holidays, mentions of christmas (including christmas dinner), mentions of drinking, soonyoung is soft for reader, wonwoo just wants a second chance, one (1) holy spirit joke, reader does make a choice at the end, smut warnings under the cut

a/n: this is for the amazing and wonderful @beomcoups from your secret santa, blitzen, for @kpopsecretsanta 💕 summer, i already knew you were actually the best. so, it's been really fun getting to send you asks and come up with something for you. i hope you like it (and i'm so sorry it got this long). this is honestly not where i meant for this to go. ily and merry (belated) christmas! thank you to @wooahaeproductions (once again) for giving me a title and to my bby @wongyuseokie for the beautiful banner so last minute.

a/n 2: i'm for real taking a writing break now because december has been busy 😂

tagging: @aaniag, @gyuminusone, @horanghater

smut warnings: multiple smut scenes, lots of kissing, so many orgasms, so much cum (i'm sorry), dirty talk, spit as lube (just for handjobs), handjobs, blowjobs, implied edging, vaginal fingering, protected sex (yay!), implied/referenced phone sex, kind of dom!wonwoo, kind of switch!reader, wonwoo is bossy, oral sex (f. receiving), begging, slight hair pulling, slight nipple play, choking, unprotected sex (don't do this), fucking from behind, pulling out, cum on the back/ass, referenced marking, referenced restraints, pet names (doll, sweetheart, babydoll, baby), probably teasing somewhere, i think that's it (i swear there's plot in there too)

“Are you all packed?”

Soonyoung is stretched out on your bed, watching you search through your closet. You sigh when you can’t find the one sweater you’re looking for.

“Almost,” you say.

“It’s on the drying rack in your spare bedroom,” he says.

You spin around to look at him, eyebrow raised. “What?”

“That sweater you love? The one you pull out the second it’s cool enough?” Soonyoung prompts.

You give him a look, but don’t say anything. Instead, you walk into the other room and find he’s right. The last thing you want to throw into your suitcase is actually exactly where he said. You check that it’s dry before retrieving it to fold and tuck away.

“How?” you ask when you reenter the room.

He just shrugs. “I don’t know, I guess I know you pretty well.”

That tugs at your heartstrings a little, especially this time of year. Because it’s true. Hardly anyone knows you as well as the beautiful man sprawled on your bed, scrolling through his phone. Yet, he’s also the one that seems to hurt you the most. Always exactly where you need him to be, but never quite within reach. This kind, wonderful human that surprises you with things that remind him of you, but can’t (or won’t) come with you for the holidays to a beautiful, snow-covered resort. It’s not worth bringing up again…

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” you ask.

…but you do anyway. Like the sucker for pain you are. Like somehow the answer is going to change from the last time you asked.

This does make him look up, at least. It’s hard to see the look he gives you. It’s a little comforting that he does look sorry. Not quite enough to ease the ache in your heart. That’s neither here nor there, though.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he answers.

“I know,” you sigh.

And you do know. Your relationship with Soonyoung happened out of nowhere. When you were trying desperately to heal over the worst heartbreak you could imagine and he happened to be there. Maybe that’s why you feel this inexplicable draw to him, even now. Because he was the one to help you put the pieces back together, the one to let you know that you weren’t asking for something unreasonable from your ex, that it was okay to make whatever type of life you wanted for yourself. Over time, you felt yourself getting more attached and let it happen, even knowing it was the wrong choice. Not because Soonyoung is wrong or anything short of great. It’s just, well, he’s always been honest, sometimes painfully so, about exactly who he is and what he wants. He’s just not sure, at least right now, that a closed relationship where he meets the parents is what he wants.

An open relationship hadn’t been something you considered. It still wasn’t a consideration when you first started sleeping with Soonyoung. It wasn’t until you realized you wanted more of him that you had to have the conversation. Which is how you’re here, now. Going to see your parents and the rest of your family for a beautiful vacation alone despite being in a relationship. Despite him having met some of your family, like your cousins, and the number of dates you go on. Sometimes it really is enough. Not because you’re telling yourself it is. It just is. He comes up with the most thoughtful dates. Surprises you with little things just because. He’s so insanely thoughtful. So, maybe it’s enough that he doesn’t want to come meet your parents.

“Come here,” he requests, opening his arms for you.

You sigh before giving in and snuggling into him on the bed. He plants a soft kiss on the top of your head first, then your temple. You settle against his chest, timing your own breathing with the rise and fall of his chest. There’s something so comforting about lying like this. Something that makes it easier to be honest when you’re not looking into his incredibly soft eyes.

“I do get it, Soonie,” you repeat softly. “This makes sense for us and I don’t want that to change. I don’t need my parents getting involved.”

“Maybe next year,” he says and that pulls you up short. He’s never said that before. You can’t really help it, you pull away to look into his eyes. “I like being around you and neither of us has been seeing many other people lately. So maybe it’s something we can talk about in the new year.”

“I don’t want it to be anything that you feel…” you start and he presses a kiss to your lips.

“I don’t,” he assures you. “And you’re still free to do whatever you want, obviously. I don’t even know what it might look like. Just, I don’t know, I figure maybe after the holidays we can figure out if anything changes here.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you agree.

“But for today…” he says, drifting off as his eyes roam over your body.

“You’re exhausting,” you complain.

“You tried on Christmas dresses in front of me! I’ve been here suffering thinking that I won’t get to slide that material off your soft skin,” he says and kisses your shoulder. “Sitting here neglected as I watched you pack away skirts and those pants that make your ass look amazing.”

“You’re not neglected,” you tease as he presses a long kiss to your neck.

“I’m wasting away from the lack of attention,” he whines.

“Hm, is that right?” you ask.

“It is,” he concludes.

“Well, we can’t have that,” you say low, running your hand down his stomach.

“Don’t you have to leave soon?” he asks, stuttering when your hand runs over his cock through his pants. You rub him ever so gently, delighting in the way he reacts.

“I can stop if you want,” you suggest.

“You know I don’t want you to, but…” he starts and trails off when you move your hand towards his waistband.

“I’m driving, Soon, I can be a little late. I’ll just blame traffic,” you say.

“Fuck it,” he curses.

You drag his pants and briefs down in one motion, freeing his cock. You remember the first time you fucked him, when he was nervous that you were going to be somehow disappointed. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Not only is he the perfect size, but he has a way of moving his hips while fucking you that’s always drives you crazy.

There isn’t time for you to be walking down memory lane, though. You spit into your hand so that you can start stroking him, delight in how he’s already a little hard. Maybe he wasn’t lying about the torture of watching you try on clothes. After all, you did catch him adjusting on the bed a time or two. It’s not enough for you, just stroking him and listening to all the beautiful sounds that he makes. Before he even realizes what’s happening, you’re taking him into your mouth. Swirling your tongue around the tip and carefully massaging his balls with your free hand. You hollow your cheeks when you take as much of him into your mouth as you can. Carefully sucking while you bob your head on his cock, running a hand up and down the base as you continue to work on him.

“Fuck, that mouth is so good,” he whines. “Oh my god! Ugh, yes!”

One of the things you like about Soonyoung is times like this, where he doesn’t need to be in control. Where he just lets you take care of him. Lets you make him feel good. Just completely turns to putty in your hands. He’s muttering obscenities about how much he loves your mouth, how you know just what to do, how you’re cruel for bringing him to the edge and then backing off. You may not have enough time, but you also can’t really stop yourself.

“You’re gonna make me come if you keep that up,” Soonyoung warns.

You pull up off him just for a second to fix him with a look. “Kinda the point, isn’t it?”

“Not if it means I don’t get to fuck you,” he answers and pulls off his shirt.

Okay, you can take the hint. You quickly strip off all your clothes and move up to lie on your side facing him. He captures your lips in a kiss and quickly puts a hand between your legs. No time to waste. He runs his fingers along your entrance, collecting the wetness there and groaning, probably at how you’re wet just from blowing him. When he slides a finger inside your cunt, you want to pull away from the kiss. Instead, you just moan into his mouth, spurring him to pump his finger into you faster. Another moan and he presses a second finger in.

When you first started fucking Soonyoung, you were a little embarrased about several things when it came to sex. One had been how wet you get. He had been so quick with the praise, so quick to assure you that it was a good thing, so quick to make you comfortable. Now, you barely even think about it. Everything with him is effortless, comfortable. It’s entirely too fast when you feel like you’re already starting to come undone.

“God, I love watching that pussy suck my fingers in,” he says. “So good for me, so greedy.”

“Fuck, Soon, hang on,” you pant out.

“Feeling good?” he asks.

“Yeah but you’re gonna make me come,” you whine.

“Isn’t that the point?” he parrots back.

“Thought you wanted to fuck me,” you remind him.

He removes his fingers from your cunt entirely too quickly so he can roll over to reach the drawer. With surprising speed, he pulls a condom out and has it on in a matter of seconds. You’re about to ask how he wants you when he rolls back over and hikes one of your legs up. This is a new position for the two of you, surprising with how many you’ve tried. There’s something a little intimate, facing each other like this with your leg up over his arm. His brows furrow a little as he lines himself up.

“Oh god,” you moan out when he presses all the way in, right off the bat. Even with the prepping, it’s more of a stretch than you were expecting so fast.

“You okay?” he asks. Even though he wants it to be fast, he’s still so considerate.

“Yes, just fucking move, please,” you whine.

“So needy,” he says, but he still moves.

It’s fast and a little desperate and the angle has him hitting you just where you want him. It doesn’t feel awkward in this position, either, which crossed your mind for a second. You’re clinging to any part of him that you can, moaning incoherently, about to come undone in a stupidly short time. But, he’s babbling too, uttering praises for how good he feels, reminding you how amazing you are. He’s so vocal and it’s what sends you over the edge. He follows right behind you.

You lay on your back and take a few moments to catch your breath. Watch him as he gets up to dispose of the condom. Smile when he comes back and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. He’s so pretty like this, glowing and smiley and perfectly content. So are you, apparently, as he tells you constantly.

“You have to go because I have to shower and I don’t want to have to shower again after that,” you say when you get up.

“But, what if I want round two?” he asks, drawing you in against his body.

You lean your head to press a kiss to his lips and carefully pull away. “Then, you’ll just have to wait til I’m back.”

“Thought you didn’t mind being late,” he presses.

“A little late,” you say and laugh at the pout. “You’re cute, Soonie, but I still have to go.”

“Fine,” he sighs. “You’ll be back before New Year’s?”

“Yeah, for the party,” you confirm.

“I’ll miss you,” he whispers into your hair. The kiss he presses to the top of your head nearly has your knees weak. Instead, you just smile as he leaves and rush off to the shower before you get in the car.

The resort your parents picked this year for the holidays is beautiful. There’s a main resort and also a bunch of smaller buildings with rooms that are more like condos. Your parents are staying in a particularly roomy one, because they love to host, so you don’t feel too stuck by staying with them. It’s also nice because the resort is attached to a ski lodge. You can actually ski straight from the rooms onto one of the trails. It’s all beautiful and you feel incredibly at peace.

(You also appreciate how there are plenty of things to do for people that don’t like to ski or snowboard. Not that you don’t, you’re just sometimes a little worried you’ll fall.)

The first night was just for relaxing after the ride up. The four hour drive ended up going a lot faster with your cousin in the passenger seat, thankful you hadn’t actually left yet because her car broke down. Even though you don’t live far apart, you feel like you don’t see her nearly often enough. So the car ride is a nice way to catch up.

Now that it’s the first full day, you’re ready to explore a little bit. Your parents mentioned a little cafe in the lodge that sounds like the perfect place to get a cup of coffee. Of course, you could make it in the room, but it probably wouldn’t taste as good. Bundled up, you head down to the lodge and look out for the cafe. It ends up being pretty easy to find. And it’s not the only thing.

It’s like a pull that you can’t explain, the way your eyes fall on someone sitting in an armchair just to the side of the cafe. His dark hair has that slightly tousled look, probably from being outside, and his glasses keep sliding down his nose. As you watch, he absently pushes them back up, eyes glued on the book in his lap. There is no world where it makes sense that he’s here and also no world where he could be anyone else. You’re debating whether or not to approach him when he looks up. The smile he sends your way has you feeling things that you know you shouldn’t.

Your feet carry you towards him without permission and he rises to meet you part way. “Hey, what are you…”

At the same time, he starts to say, “wow, small world.”

It’s a little awkward (read: a lot) and neither of you really know what to say. It’s been two years since you last saw each other, two years since you last spoke, two years since the break up that nearly tore you apart. Even though it’s been long enough that you feel better about it, it’s still awkward. He probably feels it too, the uncertainty of running into each other someplace so unexpected. The question of how to move forward.

“So, um, this is…” Wonwoo starts.

“Awkward? Weird? Unexpected?” you offer through a forced laugh.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“My family is here for Christmas,” you answer. “Yours too?”

“Yeah,” he says.

“Right,” you say. “Well, I was just going to get…”

“Can we talk? Maybe over lunch or something?” he asks just as you’re ready to turn around.

You’re rooted to the spot, unable to answer him right away. Can you? Yes, you definitely have that capability. Should you? That’s a bit harder to answer. Your brain is full of images of your past relationship - the good, the bad, the ugly - and your current situation. Maybe Wonwoo still does know you, at least well enough to read your face, because he speaks up again.

“Never mind, that was silly to ask,” he says.

“No, it wasn’t. I’m sorry. I’m just, I don’t know, a little overwhelmed, I guess,” you admit.

“Me too, if it helps,” he says.

You look down at your watch. It’s a little earlier than you usually eat lunch, but maybe that’ll be a good thing. “Do you wanna get something now?”

“What about your coffee?” Wonwoo asks.

“I’m sure the restaurant has some,” you say before you lose the courage.

Lunch is actually surprisingly easy. Well, after you get some of the awkwardness out of the way. But, it gives you a chance to say a lot of things you both kept to yourselves. Back when you were dating Wonwoo, it got harder until it was too much. He was always soft spoken, always afraid to burden anyone else with his problems. Even when you reminded him that’s what partners were for, he just kept most of it to himself. Which wasn’t healthy for either of you. You wanted things out in the open so you could talk about them, he kept them to himself. Something tiny could fester into something much bigger and then become a real issue. Even when it came to issues at work or with other friends, he was hesitant to mention it. By not wanting to be a burden, he ended up driving a massive wedge between you. And he’s able to share things with you, too. Like how it wasn’t always easy to want to share when he felt pressured. He knows you only cared, but sometimes he wasn’t ready. Sometimes he couldn’t talk about it in the moment and just needed a day to process. Something he knows that he should have shared with you, as well.

It turns into a much longer meal than either of you expect. After talking about your relationship, you fill in the last two years. He talks about work and friends and reluctantly admits that he hasn’t dated anyone seriously since you. When it’s your turn, you stumble over explaining Soonyoung, ending up opting for full transparency. If he’s surprised, he hides it well. Seems to understand that trying something a little different can be exactly what you need. When you finally check your phone to see you’re running late to meet your cousins, you say goodbye with a promise to hang out again. And an assurance that you haven’t changed your number and he isn’t blocked.

You spend most of the afternoon playing games with your cousins and sharing what you’ve been up to. The cousin that rode with you, and knows Wonwoo the best, is nearly on the floor when you tell her that he’s here somehow. Especially because she also knows Soonyoung and likes him, but thinks he’s not the long term plan for you. She’s a little surprised, given how much you smiled about seeing Wonwoo, at how fiercely you defend Soonyoung. It’s just, well, he’s been a lot for you in so many ways. Yes, some of it has been painful and some of it has involved learning things you’re not sure you needed to. But, it’s also been safe and protected. It’s allowed you to grow in ways you never expected.

An afternoon of gaming turns into a night of dinner in the suite, more games, and drinking. Your cousin takes your phone and texts Wonwoo from it. Invites him over to the room to pick you up. Of course, she doesn’t tell you any of that. But, when you answer the door and see your ex on the other side, he suggests you check your phone. You shoot your cousin a look and grab your coat. He’s here, so you might as well go with him. When he holds out his hand for you, you take it and follow him into the night.

The next days pass in a kind of haze. It’s so pretty to be at the resort, watching the way snow seems to fall more often than not, even if it’s just a light flurry for 20 minutes. There’s a beautiful, tucked away corner of the lodge where you can sit in rocking chairs by floor to ceiling windows. It gives you a perfect vantage point to watch the snow, or watch people coming down trails, watch anything. You’re with Wonwoo more than your own family, a fact that nobody seems to talk about. Maybe because everyone liked Wonwoo and nobody really understood why it ended. You hadn’t wanted to talk about it. And now it doesn’t seem to matter. The man before you isn’t the same boy that you walked away from two years ago. You’re not the same either. Both of you get a lot of time nestled away in the cocoon of the holiday vacation to talk about that. To talk about who you are now and where you want to be. About if things would turn out differently now.

It’s all kind of a practiced dance, though, because Wonwoo knows that Soonyoung exists. He knows that there’s someone you’re not really ready to let go that may be waiting for you to get back to have an important conversation. (He is waiting for you, but you don’t tell Wonwoo that. Because it may not be in the way you wish he was waiting for you. What you do know is that he’s been sending you a lot of messages. There are a lot of things that seem to remind him of you. So, he’s constantly on your mind.) And there are some things that haven’t changed about Wonwoo, too. One of those things is that he doesn’t really find the idea of sharing a partner appealing. Even though he’s one of the most secure people you know, you can also tell what he thinks about the complication of your current situation. There’s no judgment, only more hurdles. It’s like he wants you to consider giving him another shot, but he doesn’t really know where to start.

Since Christmas Eve and Christmas morning are for family, you get a much needed break from having Wonwoo around constantly. Not that you mind, it’s just that your head needs a little space. You need to figure out what exactly you want. Which isn’t really any easier when you’re separated from your ex, sadly. Both he and Soonyoung are still fighting for space. Your thoughts are kind of a jumbled mess.

(It doesn’t help that Soonyoung calls you on Christmas Eve. Or that the call turns into FaceTime and that turns into the two of you getting off. Phone sex wasn’t ever really something you were into before him. You didn’t really get the appeal of it. But, you’ve seen the positives of it with him. Still can’t really believe how easy it is for him to push you over the edge when he’s not even with you. And you kind of like knowing you do the same to him, seeing his cum paint his stomach after he finishes. He gets a little sappy after he comes, too. When you’re both cleaned up, he’s still there. Telling you that he misses you and that the city feels a little lonely without you there. It’s not like you haven’t left before, but this just feels different to him. He says it all without seeming to think much about it and you’re not really sure how to take it. Is it honest? Or is it the post orgasm haze?)

But, after Christmas dinner, you’re on your own to do whatever you want. And you know what you don’t need to do. You know that you don’t need to make this whole mess inside your head more complicated than it already is. You do really miss Soonyoung and all his energy. There’s something infectious about him. But, you also know that he’s been very clear on his wants and needs, even if he says you need to talk when you’re back about what’s going on. Then, there’s all your returning feelings for Wonwoo after all the time you’ve spent with him the past several days. Soonyoung seemed to skate over you mentioning running into your ex like it didn’t matter. Or that he trusts you and that the relationship is open, which is the more likely answer. All of that leads to sitting on the couch of Wonwoo’s suite, sipping a glass of wine.

“What’s going on here?” you ask, interrupting the formerly comfortable silence.

“We’re drinking wine on Christmas?” Wonwoo suggests.

You turn your head to look at him and find he’s a little confused. “I don’t mean that. I mean,” you gesture between the two of you, “here.”

“Ah,” Wonwoo says and takes a sip.

“Yeah,” you say.

“I don’t know, honestly. I know I missed you and that I feel like things are different now. I think we could have actually worked through our issues if we were these people,” Wonwoo says.

“But?” you prompt. Because there’s so clearly a but coming to what he said.

“You’re in a relationship,” he finishes.

“An open one,” you remind him.

“That you’re not really sure how to define,” he presses back.

“We aren’t even sure if we’d work together again and you’re already worried about what’s going on with Soonyoung,” you sigh.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“We’ve got history and it’s been so nice to be around you. But, if we were to try something out again, we’re not just going to jump back into it being serious right away,” you tell him.

“No, I wouldn’t expect it to,” Wonwoo agrees.

“So does it really matter if I’m seeing someone else? Does anyone outside of us really matter while we’re figuring things out?” you ask.

This is a definite crossroads for Wonwoo. He’s always been very logical and impossibly smart. In all the time you knew him, he was one to weigh things out and go with what made the most sense. It wasn’t like him to be overly emotional about things. Except, apparently, when it came to you. So, this is a big ask. For him to just set aside personal feelings for you and consider the logic behind what you’re saying. It’s a crossroads for you, too. Because you do know it makes sense to consider exploring whatever’s been happening between the two of you. To not have any what-ifs or questions when you go back to the city. To actually explore another genuine connection so you can better understand what you do or don’t feel for Soonyoung.

Wonwoo sighs and nods. “Yeah, you’re right. Focusing on this and figuring it out doesn’t involve anyone else but us.”

“So that last little line of defense stops now?” you ask, hopeful.

“Last line of defense?” he asks.

You gesture at the space between you. “Ever since I ran into you, there’s always space for the Holy Spirit between us.”

Both of you laugh at that when Wonwoo’s face cracks into a smile. It erases the last little bit of tension left between the two of you. It’s clear that he means he’s going to give it a real shot to figure out what’s going on without worrying about anyone else. Wonwoo shifts closer to you, rests his arm on the back of the couch behind you, and presses his thigh into yours.

“Do you still think there’s space for the Holy Spirit?” he asks.

“No,” you say with a light laugh.

“I’ve missed you, doll,” he admits and presses a kiss against your temple.

“I’ve missed you, too,” you say. You turn your body so your back is against the arm of the couch and drape your legs over his lap. It’s a little more comfortable and it lets you look at him easier.

“It’s so weird to me, running into you here,” he says and you laugh.

“I’d say it’s some kind of fate, but I know you don’t believe in that kinda shit,” you offer.

“I don’t know that I do, but having you around has given me a break from my family,” he shares.

“Your family is great,” you disagree.

“They are, but it’s a lot of people time,” he says with a sigh.

Which is why you suggest that you just sit back and watch a movie, something a little scary because you know that’s what he prefers. It doesn’t have to be some Christmas movie, you’ve gotten enough of that with your cousins in the lead up to the holiday. So, you let him pick something and settle back, appreciating the closeness.

The movie is good, but you’re kind of a fidgeter. You make it through the first half easily, but in the second half, you start getting a little sick of sitting still. Just little things. Adjusting how you’re sitting. Moving your legs slightly. Reaching out for one of Wonwoo’s hands. Something to trick your body into thinking it’s moving. Until it’s a little more than just a movement. Without even thinking, you pull one of your legs towards you, let your knee bend for a second, because it’s a little stiff, and slide it back. It isn’t until Wonwoo sucks in a breath and clenches his jaw that you realize your foot slid right over his dick.

“Wonwoo, I’m sorry, I didn’t - “ you start, but he’s moving your legs.

“Let’s go,” he says as he stands up.

“What?” you ask. “Go where?”

“Come on, sweetheart, I’m not gonna play these fucking games,” he says and pulls you up off the couch.

You’re really caught off guard, because it had been an accident, but your body remembers this. He’s guiding you in front of him to one of the bedrooms and pressing you inside. As soon as you’re both through, he closes and locks the door. Then, he presses you back into it and kisses you hard. Crowds your space so you can’t move an inch. You gasp when he nips at your lip. This has always been the thing about Wonwoo. He’s so quiet and soft spoken and unassuming around everyone else. Just the smart boy who likes to read and play video games. Until he gets you behind closed doors and a switch flips.

“Fuck, Nu, I swear it was an accident,” you groan as he kisses down your neck.

“So, you don’t wanna get fucked into the mattress? Don’t want me to show you I still know exactly what you like?” he asks.

You’re not the same person you were two years ago, though. “Maybe I like different things now.”

“We’ll see about that,” he says.

Before you can respond, he’s kissing you again. Hard and needy and like there isn’t a tomorrow. Maybe there isn’t for the two of you. It’s not like you’ve managed to clear anything up.

Wonwoo presses his hips into you. Places his hands on either side of your head against the door behind you. It’s so easy to fall into old patterns with him, where you give up your control. Your hands run along his back, underneath his shirt, and he shivers at the touch. It makes him thrust his hips into you again. It makes him grab your hands and pin them in one of his above your head. His lips are demanding when they return to yours, like he’s taking what you owe him.

There’s no point in begging for more. It would only make him go slower. So, you accept his tongue into your mouth when he keeps kissing you. You let your hands stay pinned above your head. You even chase his lips when he pulls away. It’s hard to suppress the shudder when his lips brush against your ear.

“I want to fuck you,” he whispers. “I want to press your pretty face into the mattress and get your ass in the air. Do you want that?”

“Yes,” you whimper out.

Wonwoo pulls away from you and starts to undress. It’s hard to take your eyes off of him because he’s so beautiful. The broadness of his shoulder and his slender waist. The muscles that he hides behind all the layers flex as he pulls off his shirt and steps out of his pants. But, then he’s looking at you expectantly. Likely wondering why you’re fully dressed. You make quick work of getting out of your clothing before turning back to him.

“Sit on the edge of the bed, babydoll,” he instructs. You hasten to listen to what he asks and he smiles. Not a soft smile. “Open your legs.”

You do that as well. With your hands on the bed behind you, you lean backwards. Wonwoo kneels down between your legs and runs a hand up your calf. He nips softly at your thighs, sharp enough to make you gasp but not hard enough to leave a mark. As he moves to your other thigh, he spreads your legs further. Only places a light kiss on your other thigh before his hand returns to your pussy. His fingers spread you open and he blows gently. The sensation makes you shiver. It makes you want to beg for him. Instead, you just grip the sheets tighter. Wonwoo chuckles, probably at your attempt to hold back, and licks a stripe up your center. Flattens his tongue against you and runs it slowly through your folds.

“Oh god,” you moan. You don’t need to look down to see that it makes Wonwoo smile, but you do anyway.

He continues to work you with his tongue, alternating the pace so that you never really know what to expect. His thumb rubs circles over your clit. Maybe he does still know how to get you going. Or maybe your body just remembers him. Either way, he feels so good. You’re entirely more pent up than you feel like you should be. It would be embarrassing if it was with someone you weren’t comfortable with.

“Fuck, please, baby, I need your fingers,” you beg.

“You getting close?” he asks.

“Yes, fuck, please,” you cry out.

“Do you think you deserve to come?” he asks. It’s only his thumb on your clit that keeps you going.

“Please,” you beg and hope it’s enough.

It must work because his tongue returns to your cunt and he slides one of his perfect fingers inside as well. The second is in before you realize it and your moans are more sounds than anything intelligible. It’s an unsurprisingly short time before you make a mess of his face and fingers. After he guides you through your orgasm, he stands up and leans over you. Pulls you in for a kiss so that you can taste yourself on his lips. It’s enough to make you a little dizzy. Entirely too soon, he’s breaking the kiss. He runs his hand over his dick and looks at you.

“Spit in your hand,” he directs and you do it without thinking. The post-orgasm haze still has hold of you.

You don’t need him to tell you what to do next. Before he can say anything, you take over and run your hand down his shaft. Slide your thumb carefully over his tip. Wonwoo clenches his jaw like he’s trying not to let you know just how good it feels. Because you still know him too. You continue to stroke him and take his cock into your mouth. Just the tip, at first. When you look up at him under your lashes, you know that he’s going to lose the battle.

“Fuck, babydoll, that mouth is better than I remember,” he groans out. His hands wind into your hair, but he doesn’t fuck into your face. You’re a little surprised he can hold back. Especially when you swirl your tongue around his tip. “Okay enough of this.”

Wonwoo, with surprising gentleness, pulls you off of his dick. You have just enough time to look at him triumphantly before he’s moving you back into the bed. He gets you on your hands and knees, presses your back down so that your ass is in the air and your face presses into the pillow in front of you. You arch your back deeper so that he has the best angle. The bed shifts under you and you assume that he’s lining up behind you. He presses a finger into your pussy again and you squirm for a second. When he removes it, you want to complain. But, he’s quick to line himself up and press his cock into you. The pillow muffles your moan as he presses all the way in. His hands find purchase on your hips as he sets a slow rhythm.

It doesn’t seem like it’s enough, though. His hand finds it’s way into your hair and he pulls back, more gently than he used to. “Is this still okay?”

His voice is hoarse in your ear. “Fuck, Nu, yes. Be rough with me.”

It’s all the permission he needs. His hand slides up your body to take your nipple between too skilled fingers. The first twist has you screaming out for him, wanting him to continue. And he does, all while picking up the pace that he fucks into you. He keeps you pressed against his chest. The snap of his hips and the skin slapping together isn’t enough to cover your stream of profanities. Wonwoo places a hand lightly over your throat, using it to anchor you to him. Your loud moan and reassurance of permission makes him squeeze a little tighter. It’s that perfect sensory deprivation to make it all the more intense. Between that and your earlier orgasm, you’re a bit on overload. It’s a kind of mind blankness that you haven’t felt in awhile. Nothing else exists but the pursuit of pleasure. Your mind is totally empty.

Eventually, his movements start to stutter and he releases your throat. Directs you to rub your clit. You hardly need to touch yourself before you feel your second orgasm rip through you, coming all over his dick. He snaps a few more times before pulling out of you. His cum paints over your ass and your back. Wonwoo collapses next to you and you lower yourself down onto your stomach, trying not to make too much of a mess.

After a moment, Wonwoo presses a kiss to your shoulder. “What do you, babydoll, do I still know you?”

“It’s like nothing ever changes,” you admit.

The two days after Christmas seem to pass just as quickly as the days before Christmas. Something feels like it’s shifted with you and Wonwoo, but maybe not in the way you expect. You’re still spending a decent amount of time with him, still being pretty affectionate, but you don’t end up naked in his bed again. It could just be you, though it feels like a joint decision. It feels like it’s some unspoken agreement.

Everything with Wonwoo has been amazing, like a little break from reality. It’s been so nice to get to see him again, to get to talk about your relationship and everything it meant. Even though you’ve both changed a lot, it’s nice to realize how well he still knows you. And he seems to accept all the ways you’ve changed in stride, which surprises you a little. Change had never been his favorite thing. There’s also just a general sense of nostalgia to your interactions with him. He’s safe in the way someone says that you can always go home. It feels like falling into old patterns.

But, that’s not what life is supposed to be, is it? Life is about taking chances and risks and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Falling back into step with Wonwoo would be so easy. It’s obvious that he still loves you, or maybe loves you again. It’s so easy to picture what your life with him looks like because you remember. You remember all the plans the two of you made. It just feels kind of stagnant, though. You know the kind of love you’re getting back into. It’s not even about not trusting him or worrying it would end up in another break-up. Things are different enough with your communication that you trust it would be different on that front.

It’s just, if you’re being honest with yourself, you can’t get Soonyoung off your mind. Even when you’ve been with Wonwoo, there’s that small voice in the back of your mind whispering Soonyoung’s name. It’s also really hard to stop thinking about what he said before you left. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything changes. Maybe it only means that you define the relationship a little more clearly and it’s still open. But, if you move forward with Wonwoo, you know what that means for Soonyoung. You know it means you’re going to be saying goodbye to the person who’s challenged you, who’s pushed you, who’s forced you out of your comfort zone. You’re just not sure you can do that.

By the time the last night comes around, you know that you need to have an actual conversation with Wonwoo before leaving. Life doesn’t always give you the chance for closure, so you know to take it when it comes around.

“This is it for us, isn’t it?” Wonwoo asks.

“Yeah, I think it is,” you say.

“I hope he knows what he’s got,” Wonwoo says with a sigh. “By the time I figured it out, it was too late.”

“I hope you know that everything I felt for you was so real, that it’s still real now. It’s just…” you start.

“Not enough?” he finishes and you frown. “It’s okay, I’m not upset. I knew from the start that this was a long shot.”

“Why did you do it, then?” you ask.

“Because I would have regretted it if I left something unsaid or undone,” he says simply.

“I’m so sorry, Wonwoo,” you say.

“I’m not. I’m thankful we got this chance. Now, I have the closure I needed to actually move on,” he says.

You’re not sure what else to do, so you just wrap your arms around him. His arms wrap around you without missing a beat and he places a kiss on the top of your head. The two of you stand like that for a few minutes, letting all the feelings wash over you. It’s the next part that’s going to be the scariest.

You haven’t properly talked to Soonyoung since the two of you had phone sex on Christmas Eve. Which is actually on you, at least this time, because he’s been keeping up a relatively steady stream of texts. Asking how the vacation was, how it was to be around your family, even how it was to see your ex. And you haven’t done anything wrong, you know you haven’t, but it still feels like too much to text. It feels like the kind of thing you need to tell him when you’re back in your apartment. Thankfully, you don’t even have to ask if he wants to come by. He knows your schedule, knows how long the drive is, and even assumes you’re tired. Despite that, he asks if he’s okay to come over anyway. He even insists that he just wants to see you, sex can be off the table. (Unless you want to fuck on the kitchen table, because that might be hot, he says.)

He’s at your door in what feels like record time, puffy jacket and beanie covering most of his head and upper body. His arms wrap around you before he even gets through the door or takes off his layers. It feels like he smells your hair when he buries his face there, but you can’t be sure. It’s almost a project to get him to unlatch himself long enough to take off his outer layers and remove his shoes before joining you on the couch. Where he clings to you like the idea of personal space is foreign. It’s more comforting than you’d like to admit. You’re at ease, but your heart is also beating entirely too fast.

“I missed you,” he says softly.

“I missed you, too,” you say back.

“No, I really missed you. My sister kept asking me the whole time I was there if I was okay,” he admits. He separates a little, but keeps hold of one of your hands.

You’re not really used to this side of him, haven’t seen him this soft in all the time you’ve known him. “Were you not? You seemed okay in your messages.”

“I -,” he starts, frowns, and then opens his mouth again. “I was okay, when we were texting. Mostly. But, I guess, I’m just used to you being around. I’m used to sending you something, like something that makes me think of you, and having you answer right away.”

“You were sending a lot,” you tease lightly.

“I kept wondering,” he starts and shakes his head.

“Wondering what, Soon?” you ask.

“Do you remember before you left that I said I wanted to talk after the holidays?” he asks and you nod.

“Of course, I thought about it a lot,” you admit.

“You did?” The surprise is evident on his face and you’re not sure what it means.

“Yeah, there were a lot of times I couldn’t really get it off my mind, honestly,” you share.

“I figured…well with your ex there and you spending so much time with him,” Soonyoung says.

Your stomach drops a little. “Listen, about that…”

“You don’t have to tell me,” he says, trying to cut you off. It’s your turn to grab his hands, though.

“I do, though. Which is selfish, probably, but I need to tell you for me,” you say.

“You’re getting back together with him,” Soonyoung guesses and his whole body seems to slump. You’re not sure what to make of him caring so much and don’t really want to get your own hopes up.

“No,” you assure him. “No, I think that chapter of my life is over. Seeing him just brought up a lot of unfinished shit. And then with the holidays and the resort. I did…well, we did have sex. Just once, on Christmas.”

Soonyoung nods, but doesn’t seem relieved. “I figured you would, I did basically push you to try other things out. Are you going to see him again now that you’re back here?”

“No,” you say again. “But, I think I want to hear what you were going to say.”

“I’m not sure now is…” he starts and nearly melts at the look you give him.

“Please,” you say so softly it’s barely audible.

“I should’ve gone with you when you asked,” he says and that brings you up short. You never dared to hope for that much. “I knew it as soon as you were gone. But, I figured it’d be fine. I’d be right where you left me when you got back. Then, you ran into your ex and you seemed happy for the chance. I thought I’d fucked up and that you’d fall for him again. I considered just showing up. I chickened out, though. I figured if it was supposed to work out, then it would. Part of me even hoped you might fuck him and that you’d realize what it took me just a little too long to realize.”

“And what’s that?” you prompt.

“That I’m ready to give actual commitment a try. That I don’t want to think about sharing you with anyone else,” he says and his voice drops to a whisper. “That I love you.”

“What did you just say?” you ask.

He takes a deep breath and meets your eyes. “That I love you. And I’m sorry.”

You don’t even realize you’re crying until he wipes a tear from your cheek. “I love you, too, you giant idiot. It’s always been you for me. It wasn’t ever going to be my ex. I’m not sorry, though. Everything that we’ve experienced, it’s been exactly what I needed.”

“You know what this means though, right?” he asks and you shake your head. “No more fucking anyone that’s not me.”

“We don’t have to…” you start. You don’t want to change him, never have. He’s always been perfect exactly the way he is.

“I know, but I want to. It’s only you. I think it always has been and you just knew it a lot before I did,” he says.

“Can you just kiss me now?” you ask through your tears.

When your lips meet, it’s so slow and tender. So full of affection and joy and everything left unsaid. For now, at least. If there’s anything you know about Soonyoung, it’s that he doesn’t like to keep much to himself. It’s been so much, so overwhelming. Even though the kisses are languid, you feel the heat building between the two of you. Feel the desire getting stronger. That’s when he breaks the kiss. Your face must look confused or disappointed because he smiles, so full of genuine affection, and stands up. He holds a hand out to you.

“I don’t want the first time after telling you that I love you to be on your couch,” he says.

Your smile matches his when you take his hand and interlace your fingers. He brings your hands up to his lips and places a kiss on your knuckles. Doesn’t let go of your hand even when you’re in your bedroom. He sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls you between his legs. It makes you lean down to kiss him, but it’s kind of nice. He finally lets go of your hand so that he can wrap his arms around you instead. When Soonyoung looks up at you, eyes full of affection, it’s just more than you can handle.

“Please, Soonie,” you whisper.

“What?” he asks.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you request.

“Like what?” he asks.

“Like I’m the only person in the entire world,” you say.

He only smiles at first. “I had a lot of time to think when you were away. I’m just appreciating you now.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you assure him.

“I wouldn’t let you.”

Finally, he pulls you into bed and it’s the most perfect night you’ve ever spent with him. And you’ve had a lot of great nights. He always takes his time with you, always makes sure you’re well taken care of. It’s different now. His lips are everywhere and his hands seem to need to find whatever part of you they can. You’ve never felt so loved and so safe, even with him. Even though he always makes it comfortable. You know that you made the right choice.

(You’re sure when he’s got you seeing stars from his mouth between your legs. You’re sure when he’s sucking marks into your skin where only he can see them. You’re sure when he asks you to tie his hands to the bed. You’re sure when he asks you to untie him so he can fuck you into the mattress. You’re especially sure when he wraps himself around you to fall asleep. It’s everything you’ve wanted, but only because it’s him. It wouldn’t be the same with anyone else.)

Morning comes and everything looks even better in the soft light of a winter’s morning. You’re not sure you’re ever going to get Soonyoung out of your bed (or your apartment) and you’re not really sure you want to. The new year is right around the corner and you can’t wait to see what it brings the both of you.

thanks for coming on this ride with me 💕 please reblog or let me know your thoughts if you liked it!

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mint-yooxgi · 4 months

Text

{3} - Fight or Flight - Yandere!Redcap!Mingi X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Fae!AU & Yandere!AU - Part of the CoDN Thrill of the Hunt Collab

Genre: Fantasy, Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Mingi X Reader

Words: 9,085

Rating: Mature - 18+ MDNI

Warnings: Please read the warnings carefully, as this is a very heavy story dealing with many dark topics. This is also all of the warnings for this fic as it is one long one shot that I had to split into multiple parts, and I'm too tired right now to individually categorize all of these warnings to their respective parts. 8 ft tall Mingi. Slow burn. Violence: depiction of a massacre, a deer being slaughtered, as well as physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional, both alluded to and not. Blood and gore. Abuse: physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual, both alluded to and implied. Assault: physical, and sexual, both alluded to, implied, and attempted. OC has a really rough past, really this isn't for the faint of heart. Whipping, both alluded to, and done. Mentions of branding. Heavy themes of possession and ownership. Deception. Arson. Really, there's a lot of dark subject matter. Mingi falls hard and fast, thus, he simps a lot for the OC, but it's not a story written by me if Mingi doesn't simp for the OC. The reader is mentioned to be both tall and chubby, but it is not mentioned often, so it shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story when ready if you are not tall and/or chubby. I think that's everything, but if I missed something, please let me know! Smut: Biting/marking, outdoor sex, fingering (fem. rec), oral (fem. rec), hand job (male rec), come eating, overstimulation, Mingi has a dig bick, sex in a spring, really, it's very soft in comparison to the subject matter. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

P.S. If there are any spelling or grammatical errors, please ignore them. I did my best through many rounds of editing, but some are liable to still slip through.

A/n: I am SO sorry this took me LITERALLY forever to complete. I meant to have this out so much earlier, and actually posted on time, but it turned out much, much longer than I ever anticipated it being. I'm really proud of how this story turned out, and I didn't want to split it into multiple parts because I felt it would take away from the story as a whole. I'm super excited for you all to read this one, as I had a tremendous amount of fun writing it, and I really hope you all love Mingi's and OC's journey as much as I do. Huge shoutout and thanks to @anyamaris and @kwanisms for listening to me ramble and rave about this story both before and during the writing process, and for always encouraging me while writing! Also, huge thank you to @sanjoongie for being so patient and understanding with me as I write this all out in full. I hope you all enjoy! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

Summary: Out of one horrible situation and into another, the cycle of abuse never stops. You've lived with monsters your whole life. So, what's one more?

P.P.S. Please don't let this flop guys. If you enjoyed it, please reblog!!!

Mini Masterlist - Part One - Part Two

You were wrong.

Not only is this redcap the most infuriating fae possible, but he has no tact when it comes to handling you. Clearly, he’s never dealt with humans before, and he doesn’t even try to hide it. Every chance he gets, he’s shoving you around, pulling you harshly to your feet and snapping at you to ‘get a move on’ if you’re not moving at a quick enough pace for him.

Gone is the almost surreal atmosphere of peace the morning had brought you. Instead, as evening shifts into night, only irritation seems to fill the silence between the two of you. Whether he’s upset at himself for relating to a human or not is unbeknownst to you. All you do know is that he seems to dislike you more than he did the previous day.

“Are you done yet?” His voice cuts through the gentle sounds of the pond you’re currently bathing in.

Your head turns to stare at his back, noticing he stands a better guard than Windfel ever did. Not once did this fae turn around even to toy with you. Truly, he kept his word about being respectful about this kind of stuff, and for that, you should be grateful. Only, a creeping sense of dread begins to sink into your bones.

Slowly, you begin to make your way out of the pond, not quite feeling as refreshed as you should. The constant pounding of your heart within your chest reminds you that you’re still alive, and as you pull on the new clothes, you cannot keep your hands from shaking.

“Have you finished? I need to wrap your wound.” His arms are crossed over his chest, that much you can tell.

“I can do it myself.” Comes your somewhat sharp reply, looking around for where he put that roll of bandages he scavenged from a nearby town.

“No, you’re going to do it wrong.” He sighs, beginning to tap his foot against the ground. “I don’t want your wound getting infected again and slowing us down even further.”

Your features pull into a scowl. One which you are grateful he cannot see at the moment. You remain silent, tugging the loose shirt over your head once dry enough to do so. Only a grunt is given to acknowledge he can turn to face you, one which he seemingly immediately understands.

“Sit down.” He commands, walking over to you with another leaf filled with fresh paste in his one hand.

You comply, barely holding back your grumble of discontent. “Yes, General.”

The fae lets out a sharp breath through his nose, kneeling beside you on the ground. He says nothing as he begins to apply the paste over your now healing wound.

The cut on your leg is doing tremendously better in such a short amount of time. No longer does it crust at the edges, and the swelling has gone down significantly. There’s a small scab that rests over the deepest part of the cut, but the edges are much fainter than before, almost scar like in appearance. Sure, it still aches, but it’s nowhere near as horrendous or as infected as it once was.

Carefully, he spreads the paste over your cut. You notice his claws have retracted once more, and though he’s focussing intently on what he’s doing, he isn’t all that gentle. At one particular point, he adds a bit too much pressure to his fingers over the worst part of your cut, and you flinch.

A sharp hiss escapes you before you can stop yourself, and he removes his hand.

He says nothing as he discards of the leaf this time, reaching over to grab the roll of bandages. Wordlessly, he slides his one hand beneath your knee, tugging it upwards without warning.

Your initial response is to scold him, but given how close he is to you right now, combined with the fact that he is treating your wound, you don’t want to give him an opportunity to attack you. If he’s this good with treating them, then obviously he’s even better at causing them. Besides, there are ways he could torment you with the worst pain imaginable, all while making sure to still keep you alive.

It’s not like that hasn’t happened before. You would know.

There is no time, nor opportunity for you to be embarrassed right now. True to his word, he barely takes his eyes from your wounded leg the whole time he treats it. No roaming hands. No snide remarks, or suggestive comments about anything.

Whether he takes notice of the other scars lining your legs is unbeknownst to you, for he doesn’t comment on a single one. Instead, his brow is furrowed in concentration, his hands moving roughly around your thigh as he wraps the bandage around your wound. It’s almost as if he’s working subconsciously, letting his muscles repeat the monotonous motion of covering your wound without thinking. Almost as if he’s done this a thousand times before.

In the back of your mind, you begin to wonder about him. What was his past like? How did he learn to treat wounds this well? Is he truly as terrifying as you’ve been led to believe?

You catch yourself, blinking a few time to clear your vision. These are not things you should concern yourself with. You need to worry about yourself, and only yourself right now.

Looking back at the fae, you notice that his eyes are glazed. Still, he stares intently down at your thigh. You can tell he’s not paying attention, for he bandages your thigh too tightly, tying it off without a second thought.

“It’s too tight.” A blunt comment which seems to snap him out of his thoughts.

“No, it’s not.” He clicks his tongue, standing back to his feet. “Quit complaining, and let’s get a move on. I’ve already wasted enough time waiting for you today.”

“Isn’t it dangerous for me to travel at night?” You remark, tugging the fresh pair of pants over your legs as he walks over to the tree line.

“Not with me, it’s not.” Comes his gruff reply as he begins to stalk deeper into the woods. “Keep up. I’m not stopping if you fall behind.”

Without another word, and with a deep sigh, you take off after him. That stem of red spider lilies you still have with you gets hastily tucked back into your pants pocket. Despite the petals wilting every day, you cling onto it. It means too much to you, and the fact that you were able to find a single stem in the wild still makes your head spin.

Your favourite flower, come to bring you home.

Surprisingly, you manage to keep pace with the fae quite well. You can tell he’s not travelling at his top speed, but the trek is still manageable, and your thigh doesn’t throb once.

Your ankle on the other hand…

Sometime over the course of the night, your foot had started going numb. Your limp has become more prominent, and with every step you take, pain shoots up your right ankle. You manage to bear it for quite a bit longer. That is, until you lose your footing, tripping over a sudden root in your path and falling to the ground with a loud thump.

An annoyed sigh greets your ears, followed by even louder stomps heading back in your direction.

“Are you that incompetent-“ A sharp intake of breath. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m always bleeding.” You push yourself upward, feeling pain shoot through your fingertips.

Oh, yes. You forgot. You cracked your nails.

Sitting yourself on the ground, you let out a sigh of your own. Gently, you go to raise your hands to your face in order to assess the damage. However, before you can get very far, two large hands envelope your own.

“You’re a walking disaster.” He clicks his tongue, studying your fingertips thoroughly.

His touch is not soft, but it’s not as rough as this morning. Still, he turns your hands in his without thought, tugging your arms lightly forward as he brings your fingertips closer to his face.

Your expression hardens, pursing your lips. “So I’ve been told.”

He says nothing, but you do notice his gaze flick upwards to your face. A moment later, and he’s letting out another sigh. “Is there anything else I should be made aware of?”

“Well, since you’re asking,” you reply smartly, pain and irritation ridding you of your normal filter. “I haven’t been able to feel my right foot for over two hours.”

He swears lowly under his breath. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were now my own personal doctor.” You snap.

A low growl greets you in response, and you freeze. With wide eyes, you meet his own.

“I would like to make it back to my home without any further setbacks.” He snarls. “Preferably with you in one piece.”

“Didn’t realize I was so important to you, General,” you tug your hands out from his grip, and surprisingly, you do not feel the sharp sting of fresh cuts adorning your skin from his claws. In fact, it looks as if he retracted them before he even started examining your hands.

A strange, yet welcomed fact which you didn’t bother to notice until now.

“You’re not.” He spits out his reply, standing back to his full height in the next second. “Wait here. I’ll be back in a bit with some supplies.”

Without waiting for a response, he takes off into the night.

All you can hear are the sounds of the forest around you, and the faint stomping of the fae away from you as you drag yourself to rest against a tree. Finally, you feel as if you can breathe easier.

There’s a war going on within yourself. You still want to make the general so mad that he kills you in a fit of rage, while another part of you is genuinely regretting that decision. Whether it happens or not, is still yet to be seen. At least you no longer have starvation, dehydration, and infection clouding your mind.

About an hour later, the fae returns to see you having stripped yourself of your pants. The bandage he had tied around your thigh rests to the side as you let the wound breathe, and it looks the best it has in weeks. Whatever that paste is made from has really helped, for now all that remains of the initial cut is a small scar, and a minor scab.

You notice he spares a glance at your thigh. “How’s your leg?”

Your brow quirks, but you school your features into a neutral expression almost as quickly as it comes.

“Well, I’m starting to gain feeling back in my foot.” You say, watching him carefully as he crosses the short distance between the both of you. “I told you the bandages were too tight.”

“Do you ever stop nagging?” His features twist in irritation as he crouches beside you.

Almost instantly, your breath catches, and your expression falls. Your throat bobs as you swallow thickly, averting your gaze to the side. Old memories, ones you had shoved deep down inside of you resurface, and bile rises in your throat.

“I suppose I should feel grateful for having you keep me from dying.”

“Feel whatever you want to, mortal,” he sighs, handing you a canteen of water. “I have no ties to you, and you have none to me.”

“Then, what do you call this?” Pointedly, you spare a glance down at your almost fully healed thigh, making sure to catch his gaze.

“Insurance.” He states bluntly. Not even a second later, his eyes fall shut, and he’s breathing out a long sigh. “Look, I’m getting tired of repeating myself-“

“I know.” You cut him off. “I’m useless if I can’t function properly.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“You didn’t have to.” You turn your head, jaw twitching as tears prick at your eyes.

You’ve heard it all before. Over and over for what feels like your entire life. Friends, family… all those that were supposed to love you, to care for you.

You nearly scoff.

Love. What a useless emotion. You’re not even sure it exists anymore. Though, you’re sure your parents would argue that they did even this for you out of whatever twisted love they claim to have for you.

No. They wouldn’t know love even if it hit them right in their faces.

No one has ever loved you. No one ever will.

“We’ll rest here until you’re fully healed, and then we’ll continue the journey back to the keep.” His voice, solid and stern, pulls you out of your own thoughts. “That way there’s no excuse as to why we need to make additional stops.”

“Yes, General,” your voice is much weaker than before, barely coming out as more than a hoarse whisper. It’s as if you’ve suddenly lost the will to fight. If you ever even had it in the first place.

A grunt is all you hear from him in response. In fact, that’s all you hear from him for the rest of the morning, and as the sun begins to rise over the horizon, you fall into a deep, restless sleep.

***

It takes two full days for your wound to fully heal. Granted it only took one for the cut to become nothing more than a scar, but it was better to be safe, than sorry.

Despite the setbacks, Mingi actually feels relieved now that he knows you won’t be able to slow him down since your thigh has healed. Looking after you hasn’t been so bad, either. Your company, surprisingly enough, can actually be quite enjoyable.

There are times where you don’t seem to filter yourself as heavily as others. He enjoys those the most. You have an attitude to you that he can appreciate. An attitude which reminds himself of his younger days, before he became the seasoned general that he is now. He honestly wishes he would see it more often from you, but every time you allow yourself to snap back at him, it’s as if you expect him to hit you for it.

Not only that, but the past few times you’ve fallen asleep, you seem to be tormented by terrors unknown to him. He can hear you thrashing against the tree you rest on, whimpering into the stillness of the night as your body attempts to curl in on itself.

It bothers him, and he doesn’t understand why.

Ever since he saw you attempting to frantically crawl away from him that day after he had slaughtered that deer, something within himself has shifted.

Mingi has always known he’s a monster. He was born a monster. He was raised a monster. He is a monster, and he’s never for one moment denied that part of himself. Of course, he has his own moral code he lives by, but again, he doesn’t enjoy wasting his time on easy prey.

If it’s not worth killing over, it’s not worth dying for.

Besides, no one respects him for the minor kills. He wouldn’t have gotten where he is today if he took the easy path. He has a reputation to uphold, and killing people that are not even worth his time only makes people fear him.

Fear isn’t what can drive people to be loyal. Respect can.

No one gains respect by slaughtering countless humans here. At least, in his opinion. It would be the same as targeting children. Who gains honour from tearing apart the weak and defenceless? Certainly not him. He never has, and he never will.

There’s no valour in that.

Still, there is something about you that irritates him to no end. Every time you call him general, he wants to rip your tongue from your throat. The way he catches you looking at him from time to time makes him want to gouge your eyes from your head. Yet, there’s something about the way you’ve come to rely on him, about being able to actually take care of something in such a way instead of destroying like he’s used to. Something about the way he feels as if he can just live around you, causes his guard to weaken and start to crumble.

A vulnerability he hasn’t felt in a long time. A vulnerability that, in actuality, he doesn’t think he’s ever felt in his entire life.

Maybe that’s why you irritate him so much.

Stupid human making him feel stupid things he’s never felt before.

The sun sets in the distance, casting a golden hue across the surrounding area. A gentle breeze cools the humid air of the day, giving way for the crisp stillness that night is sure to bring.

Still, you limp along.

Your stamina has improved since your wound has healed, and you seem to be more keenly aware of your surroundings. Enough so, that Mingi can see the familiar shine of recognition behind your eyes as the forest begins to thin up ahead.

“Shouldn’t there-“ you swallow, panting lightly. “Shouldn’t there be a town up ahead?”

A low hum in confirmation is all you receive in response as Mingi breaks through the tree line. He pauses, waiting for you to catch up. Taking the time now, he scans over the area, no annoying pests in sight. Of course, there are the town’s other inhabitants, but at least the pain in the ass seems to be gone for the moment. If his missing scent is anything to go by, Seonghwa hasn’t been home in quite a few days.

Perhaps those small set backs were more of an advantage than Mingi thought.

“Come on,” Mingi says, leading you towards a tavern across the way. “We’ll stay here for the night. I could use a decent rest in a bed instead of on the ground for a change.”

Eager eyes follow the both of you as you cross the short distance between the woods and the tavern, and Mingi can already hear the whispers floating in the air. He knows that he’s easily recognizable, given the red band tied around his upper arm, but hearing them comment about you sets his skin prickling.

The worst part is, he doesn’t know why.

Stepping inside, the familiar smells of malt ale and other fermented substances greet his nostrils. There’s a distinct stench of body odour, and malcontent lingering in the air that irritate his nose the further into the tavern he goes. The rowdy patrons are all around, laughing and jeering amongst themselves as he steps up to the counter.

Even though he spares a glance over his shoulder to check, he knows that you’re scurrying after him as fast as you can. You seem to be able to feel the pointed stares sent your way as Mingi discusses lodging arrangements with the owner.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Mingi watches you shift uncomfortably on your feet, curling in on yourself as loud voices reach the both of your ears.

“Isn’t that that infamous redcap general?” A loud whisper cuts through the noise of the tavern.

“What’s a human doing with him?” Another hisses, and Mingi can feel his one ear twitch.

“You think he’s claimed her?”

“I don’t see a mark.” Such a smug comment causes Mingi’s jaw to tick in irritation.

What ever happened to minding one’s own business?

“You think we could convince him to let us have some fun with her?”

“Maybe I should give her a mark of my own-“

“Watch your tongue before you lose it.” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, his sharp gaze locked onto the fae that had uttered such a repulsive phrase.

A sudden silence encases the entire tavern, and even your eyes go wide.

The comment from the general is so unexpected, it seems to even surprise him.

Mingi is acutely aware of all eyes on him now. Not even a drop of condensation falls against a single glass as he snatches the ward key from the counter. With his opposite hand, he pushes you along, only causing you to stumble forwards and towards the stairs at the back of the room.

“Don’t concern yourselves with business that is not your own.” Mingi snaps, practically shoving you up the stairs and out of sight from hungry, prying eyes.

Eyes of which that seem to follow you all the way to the room. A fact which only serves to irritate him more, a scowl tugging at his features as he unlocks the door with the ward key. A moment later, the entrance swings open, and he’s dragging you inside.

“This was a bad idea.” He begins to pace, rubbing a hand over his face.

“I was fine the last time I passed through this town.” Your reply is much softer than he’s used to, and he spares a glance in your direction.

There you stand, still fidgeting in your spot. Your hands tug at the long sleeves of your shirt, shoulders curling in on yourself as you intently stare at the ground. Your eyes have lost that faint shine he’s come to know over the past few days, the brightness having dulled suddenly into a blank nothingness.

He bets you’re thinking about their eyes on you, and how everyone was gazing at you like you were a piece of meat. Even he can still see the way tongues ran over sharp teeth, lips curling back against fangs in malicious grins as the scents of excitement and thrill bombarded his senses.

His own lips draw back in a scowl, and he nearly growls.

“Do you understand what they were implying?” Mingi can barely keep his breathing under control as he turns to look out the window.

Claws dig into wood, fingers nearly snapping the window frame from the pressure of his grip. What only makes this worse is he doesn’t understand why those comments have set him off so much. It’s simply typical fae talk, no different than what his subordinates had said when you first showed up at the edge of their encampment.

Thinking back on it now, the thought nearly makes him snarl.

“It’s nothing I’m not used to with men-“

“They are not men.” Mingi snaps, his chest heaving as he turns to face you.

Immediately, you recoil back, mild shock on your features. That is, until you’re schooling your expression and taking a deep breath in.

“Why should it matter what they say, then?” You keep your voice low, steady.

“It doesn’t.” His reply is quick. Too quick.

“Aren’t they your kin? Don’t you think the exact same way?” Your voice rises slightly, and the tears he can see shining in your gaze cause his chest to begin to ache.

“I have never- will never think that way.” Mingi shakes his head, fingers tangling in his locks and tugging exasperatedly at the roots. “I may not like your kind, but I don’t agree with treating them however we want to just because we can.”

His head is spinning and throbbing all at once. He feels both freezing cold and burning hot, and he cannot prevent his eyes from shifting from you to the door. His breathing, which he has always been able to master, comes in erratic pants, fangs bared as his claws scratch at his scalp.

“You had no problem with it before when it was your men saying it.”

A silence so deadly settles over the room.

In the blink of an eye, Mingi has you pinned against the wall. His arm rests over your upper chest as he looms over you, teeth bared in a snarl. Raised in the air above his head is his opposite arm, claws glinting beneath the light of the moon as he prepares to strike.

Only, the hitch in your breath pulls him back to reality.

Immediately, he stumbles away from you, staring at his hands in horror. He doesn’t register the single sob that echoes through the silence of the room like a knife, nor does he hear the frantic beating of your heart over his own racing in his ears. What he does catch, however, is the single tear that cuts a path down your cheek, and the way your trembling body collapses to the floor.

The moment you touch ground, you go limp, staring vacantly at the wall across from you.

Mingi’s hands drop to his sides, balling them into fists as he stomps over to the door.

“I’ll be back.”

The last thing he sees before the door swings shut is you supporting yourself with your hands braced upon the floor. He doesn’t give himself time to think as he storms back downstairs and straight over to the bar, ignoring the pointed stares sent his way.

He needs time to think, to sort out the mess that is his head. Perhaps you could use this time alone, too. Besides, it’s not like you can escape the room you’re in. Only he has the key to get in, and it’s not like you can jump out of the window. The glass is too strong for you to break.

You’re trapped, just like you’ve always been since he caught up to you. Yet, for some reason, that simple thought makes his brow furrow.

He doesn’t want you to feel trapped…

Frowning down into his glass, Mingi downs his ale. A few moments later, and his glass has been refilled. What a perfect way to end the day: by drowning his sorrows in a room full of boisterous fae, drinking until even the most proper of them cannot tell up from down.

About an hour into his drinking, he senses a few other fae saddle up beside him. The scraping of the stools on the ground cuts through the noise of the tavern, and much to Mingi’s annoyance, the fae from earlier that were making comments are the ones that surround him.

“So, what brings you to town, General?” The one with muted butterfly wings on his back asks. He was the one who commented on convincing Mingi to have some fun with you.

Mingi takes another sip of his drink. “Hunt.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re with that human.” Another hums, small horns protruding from the top of his head. His skin has a slight green hue to it, and Mingi recalls the way he spoke about giving you a mark of his own. “Mustn’t have put up much of a fight, eh?”

A scowl mars Mingi’s brow, but he hides it behind the rim of his glass, downing the rest of its contents in a single shot.

“Surprised she’s not torn to shreds.” Another hums, leaning casually against the edge of the bar. He’s a bit shorter than the other two, but Mingi notes the way he bounces his one hand in the air, almost impatiently. “Or are you saving that for later?”

“Oh, you sly general, you,” the one with the horns nudges Mingi’s shoulder. “Lure the human into a false sense of security, then tear her asunder when she least expects it!”

The three fae share a laugh, fangs glinting beneath the light as their lips curl deviously in mirth.

“I thought I told you to not concern yourself with business that is not your own.” Mingi replies gruffly, slamming his now empty glass back on top of the counter.

“It’s not our fault you brought an unclaimed human into our midst.” The one leaning against the counter titters.

“Really, you should share some of the fun with the rest of us,” the winged one laughs, flicking his eyebrows in a suggestive matter.

“And what would your town’s overseer say if he could hear you now?” Mingi turns his sharp gaze towards the two fae on his right side.

If there’s one thing that Mingi can’t fault the pain in the ass for, it’s that he maintains good control over those that follow him. At least, those that reside in this town.

“Seonghwa’s not here.” The fae with the horns hums. “What he doesn’t know won’t kill him.”

Mingi’s jaw twitches. These fae have clearly done this multiple times with humans before, and gotten away with it despite Seonghwa’s rule not to touch any that enter the village under his watch. Though, with that specificity, Mingi isn’t that surprised.

“Come on, General,” the one with the wings taunts. “Think of how satisfying her shrieks of terror will be.”

A flash of you scrambling away from him in terror flashes through his mind, your desperate cries ringing through his ears.

“Humans are such weak, pathetic creatures, anyways.” The one leaning on the counter rolls his eyes as Mingi stands to his feet. “It’ll probably be the only action she ever sees in her life with how ugly she is. She’ll probably be thanking us by the end of it for make her feel desirable.”

An image, soft and pure, of you tenderly gazing down at that wilting stem of spider lilies flits through his mind, and Mingi tenses. A blink, and the once peaceful scene shifts, blood splattered over your face as tears cut fresh tracks through the dirt and grime smeared over your cheeks.

“Don’t you want to feel the warmth of her blood spilling onto your hands as you bathe yourself in its crimson flow?” The fae with the horns grins maniacally. “Taste its bitter scent as it drips down your tongue?”

Mingi’s hands, which are currently clenched into fists at his sides, begin shaking.

“Come on, General,” the one that’s leaning against the bar continues, pushing himself forwards to lean into the silent redcap’s back. “Let us have our fun. We’ll take her off your hands.”

“Yeah,” The winged one smirks, eyes glinting in the light of the tavern. “Don’t you know human meat is a delicacy around here?”

“Let alone one so young, and fresh,” the horned one snickers, his grin widening as he licks his lips. “Oh, I can’t wait to tear into her-“

Blood splatters across the top of the bar, and every patron turns to see what the sudden commotion is about. Not a sound can be heard for several tense moments as realization settles over the entire room.

The horned fae can do nothing but open and close his jaw, blood spilling from his mouth as he stumbles away from the redcap across from him. Horror paints his features for a brief second before anger is taking over, watching as Mingi drops the now severed muscle in his hand, the horned fae’s tongue thudding against the floor.

“I warned you.”

Without another word, Mingi is storming outside the tavern to get some fresh air. The rest of the fae around him immediately part to let him pass, low whispers following him all the way outside. His hand clenches repeatedly, feeling disgusted by the wet warmth that covers his fingers.

Normally, Mingi would revel in the feeling. He loves the way blood coats his skin when he goes in for the kill, not to mention maiming something that annoys him. Sure, he has his morals, but that doesn’t mean he won’t put in the effort when the time calls for it.

Mingi doesn’t quite exactly know why he reacted the way he did. He put up with his men boasting about wanting to do much worse to you while back in the encampment. Yet, how three unknown fae could rile him up so easily only makes the confusion and anger he’s feeling all the more prominent.

It’s only because you’re still technically on a hunt with him. You’re not home free just yet. At least, that’s what he tells himself. He has to make sure you both make it back unharmed, and that includes not letting other fae take advantage of you.

No other reason.

None at all.

Taking a deep breath in, Mingi lets the crisp night air fill his lungs. He flicks his wrist, more blood splattering against the ground as he scowls down at his hand. His whole body is tense, and he’s surprised his teeth don’t crack from the force at which he clenches his jaw.

He should probably check on you soon. It’s been a long day, and all he wants to do is rest. No more dealing with this stupid shit for the moment. It’s time for him to turn his brain off.

Besides, he could use the downtime.

Heading back inside after about five more minutes, Mingi flexes his hand. The now dried blood cracks over his skin, and a feeling of unease settles inside his chest. The other three fae are nowhere to be seen, and at the way a few of the other patrons spare looks his way out of the corners of their eyes, he can tell something is off.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

***

For half an hour, you do not move from your spot.

Your ankle throbs as you curl up on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as best as you can. A familiar position, as you find your tears quickly depleting as your entire being goes numb.

Blankly, you stare at the opposite wall. You were this close to getting him to kill you, and you don’t know if you’re more upset at yourself or him for not seeing it through.

It’s not like you trusted him, nor do you necessarily trust him in general. However, faced with the same scenario you’ve played out so many times before, all you could see was that monster covered in blood, ready to strike you down once more.

There’s a bitterness that builds within your chest, but you don’t know if it’s at yourself, or the fae. You were so close to being done with all of this. Are you that horrible at committing to something, and seeing it through, that not even a fae wants to kill you? Are you that useless that you can’t even do that right?

Taking in a shaky breath, you finally push yourself up into a sitting position. Your whole body groans in protest, muscles aching due to the position you had been laying in on the cold, hard floor. Slowly, you pull yourself to your feet, mindful of the twinge in your right ankle as you hobble over to one of the side doors.

You’re pretty sure you saw a bathroom on the way in.

Time seems to pass languidly, and much too quickly all at once. By the time you pull yourself out of the tub, you have no idea if the redcap has returned or not. You didn’t hear his telltale footsteps stomping through the room, but you’ve learned that he can be quite light on his feet when he wants to be. Who knows how much time you have left to yourself, anyways.

As you’re drying off, you can faintly hear a commotion coming from the direction of the stairs. It seems as if one of the patrons has gotten too rowdy, for all seems to still a moment later.

You shake your head, wrapping the surprisingly fluffy towel around your plush body, and limping back into the main area of the room. The redcap is nowhere in sight, but there seems to be a fresh pile of clothes laid out on the bed. There’s even a clean set of undergarments for you, and as you look closer, you realize that it’s actually your old set. Upon a thorough inspection, they appear as if brand new, washed and dried to perfection.

Such a small gesture, whether through some form of magic, or something else, causes your heart to swell. It’s been a long time since you’ve had anything done for you like this, and to say it means a lot would be a tremendous understatement.

Feeling the material of your undergarments between your fingers, you let out a soft sigh through your nose. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you begin to change, managing to pull everything on quickly. There’s still a faint warmth clinging to the material of the clothes, as if they’ve been left out in the sun for too long, or have rested beside an open fire. It calms you, and breathing starts to become a little bit easier.

Standing from the bed, you can hear muffled voices begin shouting at each other from down the hallway. You figure them to be other patrons staying overnight, so you think nothing of it to walk towards the bathroom to hang your towel upon the back of the door. You’re sure you saw a little hook there before…

Just as you go to reenter the bathroom, the main door to the room swings open. You expect it to be the redcap returning from wherever it is that he went, but instead, what you see, or rather, whom, has you freezing right in your tracks.

Three unfamiliar fae stand before you. One has light green skin and horns, who seems to be bleeding from his mouth. Another has large wings, akin to a butterfly, with a neutral coloured pattern painted over them. The third is very human-like in appearance. He’s shorter than his two companions, with pointed ears, sharp teeth, and claws that adorn his features.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here.” The one with the wings steps forwards, a malicious grin tugging at his lips.

Naturally, you take a step backwards, your heart jumping into your throat. Your eyes dart between the three fae as they creep towards you, matching their pace with each step backwards you take. In the back of your mind, you begin to wonder if it was the redcap that gave them the key to unlock this room.

“Don’t act so coy, Doll,” the human-like fae drawls, his fangs prominent as he smiles wickedly at you. “We’re only here to have some fun. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Please, I don’t want any trouble,” you say weakly, lifting your hands before you slightly in a defensive position.

Boisterous laughter greets your ears as the door to the room swings shut behind them, sealing your fate. There’s no way the other fae is going to come back to save you now. You’re stuck, and this time, you really will die at the hands of three unfamiliar fae who look at you like an object they’re going to enjoy ripping apart.

“You should have thought of that before you waltzed in here without a claim, acting like you own the place,” the one with wings spits, and you can hear the green one gargle out something that sounds like a noise of agreement. Only, more blood escapes his mouth, and he ends up spitting it in your direction and onto the floor at your feet.

“You’re not going to look much different than that pile of blood once we’re done with you,” the human-like one says, a sick, twisted sense of glee lighting up his features.

“Until then, you live to serve us.” The butterfly winged fae adds sharply. “We’ll take all the pleasure we can from this pathetic body of yours, and after each round, you’re going to thank us for even bothering to touch you.”

You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat, skin prickling in disgust as bile builds in your chest. Your stomach drops, and before you can think, you spin on your heel, attempting to make a break out the window.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The human-like fae blocks your path, grabbing your wrists in his hands harshly and holding you in place.

“Let me go!” You begin to thrash around to no avail, tripping over your own feet as you get dragged back and towards the one bed.

“Oh, this one has some fight left in her,” the winged one snickers, leaning casually against the wall as he observes the scene. “Looks like that general was too easy on this one. Guess we’ll have to make up for lost time.”

“You should be thanking us for even looking at a disgusting creature such as yourself.” The one that had dragged you towards the bed throws you upon it, wasting no time in pinning you down upon the mattress.

Your protests and pleas to stop fall on deaf ears. In fact, the more you struggle, the more it seems to delight the three fae closing in around you. Thrashing beneath his harsh hold only earns you a knee to the stomach, and you cry out in pain.

Tears leak out of the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision as you feel hands groping you all over as the fae above you keeps you captive beneath him. This scene is all to familiar to you, and just as with all those times before, no one is coming to your rescue.

No matter how loudly you scream, no matter how much you beg, struggle, and cry, no one will care.

The only certainty that now awaits you is death.

“Stop struggling,” the fae above you hisses, his one hand pinning your wrists above your head as he adds more pressure to the knee digging into your stomach. “Shut up, and take it like pathetic human you are.”

The moment you see the fae reach a clawed hand towards your shirt, you stop breathing.

It feels as if time stops. One moment the fae is above you, pinning you down unforgivingly. The next, he’s gone, the pressure on both your wrists and stomach completely having disappeared.

A sickening crunch echoes throughout the room, followed by an immediate scream of pain.

A blur moves through the room, and suddenly, you see a wing get tossed towards the window, followed shortly by another. The tearing sounds resonate through the room, followed almost immediately by muffled screams and pleas for mercy.

Only one figure remains within view, and as he uncurls himself into a standing position, his full height looms over the entire room. His towering form fills the space around you, and as you lay upon the bed, you feel as if you can breathe again. Never have you been so grateful to see that terrifying redcap standing across from you, but still you cannot prevent your body from shaking.

“All this for a fucking human.” A voice from the ground spits harshly.

Looking down, you see the green fae cowering in the corner, and the one with the once beautiful butterfly wings laying face down on his stomach. His back is completely torn asunder, blood coating the entire area as his wings lie in torn heaps upon the ground.

“You’re going to break code just for a stupid mortal?” The same fae hisses, pure anger on his features as he trembles beneath the redcap’s piercing gaze.

“You can’t kill us.” The one human-like fae by the window laughs. He seems to be holding his hands before himself, fingers severely deformed and sticking out in odd angles. Bones peek through his flesh, and blood coats every inch of his hands, but that does not prevent the way his whole body trembles as the redcap takes a menacing step towards him.

“You’re not dead yet, are you?” The general spits, gaze sharp as he pointedly looks between all three fae cowering around the room.

Frantically, they shake their heads.

“That’s what I thought.” He snaps, lips pulled over his fangs in a snarl. “I doubt any of you want to chance a duel against me given the state you’re all in. Not that’d you’d survive, even at full strength.”

Again, the three fae shake their head. Though this time, scowls adorn their features.

“Now,” the redcap’s eyes flash, a low snarl permeating the air. “Get out of my sight before I rid you all of yours.”

All three fae scramble for the door, the human-like one managing to trip over his own feet and land harshly on his broken hands. A sharp cry escapes him, and the horned fae ends up having to pull the other to his feet, soon supporting both broken fae as they tumble out of the room.

You can hear the redcap muttering under his breath, leaning down to pick something up from the floor. Not even a second later, and he’s crushed what appears to be a second ward key in his hand, tossing it over his shoulder without another thought.

He turns to you.

There you lie, stiff as a board on top of the one mattress. The other bed lays untouched to your side, but all you can do is stare with wide eyes at the redcap before you. Your gaze darts over the blood splattered on his skin, the red dotting his clothing in random patterns.

Your lungs burn, and your eyes sting. Yet, still, you do not move. No words escape you, not trusting your voice for the moment as you wait for him to move.

He takes a cautious step forward, but you fail to see the way his gaze softens as he does.

A whimper escapes you, another tear sliding from the corner of your cheek.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he lifts his hands, palms facing upwards to show you he means you no harm. “Breathe.”

Oh, yeah. You should probably fill your lungs with air. No wonder your chest is burning.

A stuttering gasp escapes you as you heave a large breath into your lungs. However, the second you do, a harsh sob escapes you. Immediately, you’re scrambling back on the bed, a hand clutching over your stomach where that fae dug his knee into you. Your wrists throb, more tears blurring your vision as the redcap takes another step towards you.

“Stay away.” The plea is but a desperate whisper upon your lips, chin trembling as you attempt to curl in on yourself.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Still, he keeps his hands in the air, palms facing towards you. “You have my word.”

Your gaze catches on the blood staining his clothes, smeared over his skin, and you shake your head.

For a moment, you swear you watch his brow furrow, only for realization to line his features. He straightens, doing his best to move in the least threatening manner possible.

“Stay here.” His voice is low, an edge of worry lining his command.

Before you can even react, the fae disappears into the bathroom. You can hear the sound of water, followed by some frantic scrubbing. Then, more water trickling along with the movement inside the bathroom.

The whole time you sit on the bed, your gaze is locked on the little opening where the main door to the room and the door to the bathroom reside. You can faintly hear things being shuffled around you, and you swear you catch something dart across the room out of the corner of your eye. It’s small, and quick, but when you shift your head to look, all that greets you is empty space.

An empty room devoid of any of the mess you just witnessed stain it.

The blood splatters are gone, along with the tattered remains of the one fae’s wings. There’s even a fresh set of clothing at the end of your bed by your feet, completely identical to the ones you’re currently wearing.

You swallow thickly.

Turning your head, you begin to look around the room once more. Your eyes search for one thing in particular, and you find it resting beside you on the bedside table. It’s almost as if it had been placed delicately beside you after someone had realized the horrifying events that have just taken place.

The red spider lilies are crushed, the stem broken in two. The flower that means so much to you has been tread upon like it’s nothing, reflecting exactly how you feel in this moment. Only a few petals remain, wilted and dead, clinging to the plant for dear life in a final attempts to maintain what once was pure.

Slowly, you reach over and take the dying stem into your trembling grip.

A choked sob escapes you, and you’re quick to slap a hand over your mouth. Your eyes squeeze shut. The hand you have holding the flower also clutches at your throbbing stomach as your whole body shakes with the weight of your situation.

What you’ve been through - what you’re going through - you cannot take it anymore.

The hand that caresses the top of your head is soft, but the unexpected touch still makes you nearly jump out of your skin. Pain lingers in your gaze as you turn to see the redcap staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

No, not unreadable. You just cannot accept that someone is actually looking at you in concern, rather than pity for once.

He pulls his hand away, hesitant in the way he leans the slightest bit over the bed that you’re curled up on. His normally looming figure doesn’t seem so intimidating all of a sudden, almost as if his features have softened beneath the faint glow of the moon.

You watch him carefully, observing his every movement with a wary glint to your gaze. He saved you. He protected you, and you don’t know if that scares you more than if he had sent those other three fae after you like you had originally thought. His actions confuse you, and more than anything, you’re tired.

Exhaustion doesn’t even come close to the immense fatigue you feel. You’re tired of the life you were given. Tired of the life you’ve been forced into. Tired of living.

Honestly, you don’t know what to do anymore. It seems accepting your fate isn’t going exactly as you thought it would, nor is it as easy as it seems.

“Are you hurt?” Though he keeps his voice soft, the sudden timbre cutting through the silence of the room still makes you jump.

You shake your head, hand tightening around that broken flower over your stomach.

His eyes glance the movement, and his expression falls slightly.

“I only wish to make sure you’re okay.” Again, he keeps his voice soft, tone steady as he meets your gaze.

You bite your lower lip, attempting to keep it from wobbling as a single sob wracks your entire body. Then another, and then another, until you’re breaking down before his very eyes.

Tears stream down your face as you continue to muffle your sobs behind your one hand. Your eyes squeeze shut, simply wishing to disappear in this very moment. You wish you had never been born, where nothing but servitude, injustice, and hell rule your life with an iron grip.

From the very first memories you can recall, someone has always been using you. Whether it be your parents, friends, or other family members, you’ve always lived to serve. No one has ever cared for you, and no one has ever fought for you.

It all feels like one big joke. A lie concocted by the monster stalking you through your every waking nightmare, ready to jump out and laugh at you for even thinking anyone could ever care for you.

Yet, despite the darkness swirling within, a light begins to peek through.

Softly, the bed dips as the fae rests a knee on the mattress. His hand strokes gently over your head, tentatively pulling you into his arms as he settles himself against the headboard.

“Shh, it’s okay,” his voice is calm, soothing. “I’ve got you.”

He holds you against his chest, cradling your head in the palm of his hand. He’s hesitant as he comforts you, making sure his arms are loose enough to allow you to pull away if need be. Only, you do not shy from his touch, instead finding it oddly satisfying that he of all creatures chose to comfort you.

Most important of all, you let him.

“I won’t let anything else harm you,” he says softly. “Not while I’m here to protect you.”

His one hand strokes lightly over your back, and though a shiver caresses your spine at the first touch, you find yourself melting into the warmth of his embrace. It’s soothing, and everything you’ve always needed but have never gotten in your entire life. A safety that shouldn’t be as welcoming as it is.

His body is firm and lean against your own. A solid foundation which holds you steady as you cling onto the fabric of his now clean shirt with your one hand. Your sobs are muffled into his chest, your sadness being absorbed into the material adorning his skin as he cradles you to him.

After some time, you feel his one hand shift downwards, placing itself over your own on top of your stomach. The warmth that you can feel radiating from his skin is welcomed, and it helps to ease the ache you feel lingering within. Softly, he begins to hum, his chest vibrating with the gentle sounds as he continues to cradle your head to his chest using his opposite hand.

The steady sound of his heart pulses beneath your ear, and the constant sound soothes you even further. You don’t realize it, but you curl in closer into him, breathing finally evening out as you start to calm down.

“Why did you-“ You swallow the dryness in your throat, sniffling lightly. “Why did you do that?”

Though your voice is barely above a whisper, you know he still hears you loud and clear.

“I… don’t know,” his brow furrows slightly, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “My body just moved.”

You say nothing in response, unsure of how to reply to such an admission. You know that he cannot lie, but that doesn’t mean he cannot stretch the truth. Really, you shouldn’t be letting yourself be coddled by him, it’ll only make it hurt more when he betrays you in the end. At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.

You are so used to disappointment, of having false hope, that anything you believe to be too good to be true always is. Tomorrow you’ll wake up, and he’ll be back to despising your existence, only finding value in what you can do for him.

The same as it always was. The same as it always will be.

#thrill of the hunt #cultofdionysusnet #mfu net #yandere mingi #yandere ateez #mingi scenario #mingi imagine #ateez scenario #ateez imagine #ateez au #kpop au #kpop scenario #kpop imagine #fantasy au #fae au #chubby reader #tall reader #yandere kpop

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omo-queer · 7 months

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help decide how long i don't get off!

y'all may know by now i don't intend to get off until at least november 1st, but that goal is something i set for myself... and one week in i'm horny enough i want to give up a little control over when i get my next orgasm.

rules:

every like is 12 extra hours, every reblog is 24 extra hours

the timer is already set through november 1st, so any time accrued adds to the end of my minimum month of denial

comments (because they are the most spammable) are each one edge i will do before this challenge is over—i don't have unlimited time so i can't promise more than 10 edges a day on average but i will try very hard

the cap i'm putting on my potential denial is january 1st 2024, which would be three times as long as i've ever gone before

sunday october 15th at 11:59 eastern time is the cutoff for notes

(disclaimers: if during my denial i get involved with someone in-person who wants to decide if/when i get off, they will have the ability to override that orgasm date in either direction. i reserve the right to stop if denial starts making my life actively worse, but since i really like being denied that doesn't seem too likely. multiple reblogs per blog is fine and encouraged, doubly so if you say things on the post or in tags so i get to read it)

... i know everyone says it in these posts, but make me regret posting this! i'm better when i'm denied, so i should have to stay denied as long as possible!

#denial #deny me #if this gets picked up by a big enough blog I'm 100% fucked #and that's very exciting to me

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genericpuff · 5 months

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oh boy rachel's telling on herself a little-

so we noticed that her Twitter name recently changed again, now featuring her bluesky social in her username to obviously advertise to people that she has a Blue Sky.

She's had BlueSky for a while, but it obviously doesn't have as massive of a following because 1.) Blue Sky is still a much smaller platform than Twitter (undoubtedly because it still requires invite codes to join), and 2.) it's really, REALLY hard to move the entirety of your fanbase from one platform to another as many followers are bound to be "dead" (i.e. not active on the platform anymore) and others will naturally fall off because they may have followed ages ago but never bothered to keep up or unfollow from a page that was just on their backburner.

But interestingly enough, this change is very recent and when you check her BlueSky, which she would only post to every once in a while, it's now seeming to be a lot more active with multiple posts over the past couple days. So I think it's very clear at this point that she's trying to actively commit to the migration from Twitter to BlueSky.

BUT HOOO BOY. SOME OF HER POSTS Y'ALL. SHE'S PRACTICALLY DOUBLING DOWN LMAO

You've all seen me dissect the SHIT out of Rachel's art process and y'all can verify it yourself through those posts that never once has she shown herself drawing this way. Never in the process reels, or the time lapse videos, or the single sketch posts she's made. So her claiming that she "likes doing this as well" is just flatout false because she doesn't do this. So I literally don't know who she's trying to fool with this (aside from her own fanbase) but she ain't fooling me LMAO

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

instagram

But that's not even the best thing she's shared, oh no. Because this isn't even the full kit of clown makeup.

Nope, that goes to this repost-

No hate to the person who posted this, I'm sure they're chill and cool, I just think the fact that Rachel of all people reposted this to her BlueSky which she's trying to replace her Twitter with is very telling. We all know this isn't just Rachel sharing something funny for the gag, we know exactly what Rachel likes and portrays in her work that she could see herself in through this post.

And what's even more telling (and hilarious) is that this may as well have been her running away to BlueSky after the "Never apologize for being Sicilian" tweet became the top result when you search "Lore Olympus" on Twitter LMAOOO

I'm not saying that's exactly what's going on here, but the thought of Rachel deciding to fully commit to moving to BlueSky out of sheer embarrassment over this one out-of-context panel from years ago that went viral overnight - and staying at the top of the search result feed because no one's engaging with good faith LO posts anymore - is hilarious, and if it takes this dumbass panel of Hades telling Persephone she should never apologize for being Sicilian to get people talking about how stupid and hilarious LO is, then I say it's about damn time.

#is this rachel's 'committing to the bit' era #is she finally giving up and just fully embracing the things we've been criticizing about her for years #her embracing it doesn't make it better #but if it makes it more clear to the fans that this is the kind of person she is then so be it LMAO #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #Instagram

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i-wanna-die-like-now · 1 year

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Bnha x dp fic!

Aizawa is not one to freak out, he is calm and collected and he never shows his students just how badly things can effect him, that is if he's able... and right now he was freaking out. Kaminari had burst into the staff room yelling about Fenton having a daughter. Aizawa wasn't a rocket scientist but the kid was 14 and there is no way he is old enough to even get anyone pregnant, let alone have a daughter out of the womb already. The math just didn’t add up. If that was really the case then they had a very serious issue on their hands, Fenton wasn't the most mature boy and he definitely struggled with being responsible with Eri, they had a rule that he was not allowed alone with her for longer than an hour unless it was an emergency, Fenton was good in emergencies. He didn’t fool around when lives were on the line.

It was not because he didn't trust the boy to be alone with their new daughter, it was simply because he caved at everything that she wanted and dramatised everything further for his own entertainment. Which wouldn’t be too bad, 14 year old boys are silly and like to goof around. The issue was that no other 14 year old boy had ended up making all of his and Hizashis food come to life and attack last time they were left alone with their daughter, he was still finding left over yogurt in the kitchens corners and so the rule had been put in place.

It wasn't the first straw, just the one that broke the camels back and to his credit Fenton had agreed with no hard feelings.

So hearing the news that he somehow had a daughter was a shock but this was Kaminari, everyone knows to take everything he says with a grain of salt. That isn't to say he doesn't believe him, it was very clear that Kaminari did believe it and he had to have heard it from somewhere, he wasn't one to lie like that. If Fenton did in fact have a daughter then he was doing the correct thing in coming to the staff. Dread pooled in the bottom of his stomach, had Fenton been taken advantage of? The only thoughts running through his mind was that his student could have been hurt. Luckily for him Hizashi spoke up first and so he didn't need to find his voice right away.

"Woah there little listener! Slow down, who has a daughter?"

"Danny! He- oh my god he just told us he has a daughter, thats insane right?" He sounded hysterical.

"Well-"

"Because this is Danny we're talking about!"

"Kid." Finally speaking up he folds his arms and frowns at his student, "Fenton told you that he has a daughter? This came from his mouth?"

"YES!" The kid was pulling at his hair, eyes wild and face flushed.

"Are you sure?"

"Ask Tsu she was with me! He said daughter!"

"Christ-" cutting himself off he looks towards his husband, he found comfort in the fact he looked just as lost as him.

After calming his student down and comfirming multiple times that he did indeed mean a real human daughter and not a pet they sent him on his way. Both he and his husband went straight to Nezu, the rat had to know how to deal with this.

The rat did not know what to do and had laughed no cackled in their face, Aizawa didn't think the situation was funny at all and neither did his husband, However, they knew better than to try arguing with the principal. They had done their jobs and informed him of the development and had happily taken their leave as his manic laughter followed them out of the office, almost taunting them.

Hound dog was their next stop, Fenton had mandatory therapy sessions with the pro every week so he had to have mentioned something to him. It was just their luck that he seemed just as shocked as them, without breaching his client confidentiality Hound dog made it clear that this is the first time he's hearing about a daughter and that he is extremely concerned about Fentons wellbeing and the child's safety.

With the dead-end Aizawa decided that he would need to talk to Tsuyu, she was the other person present when Fenton had supposedly told Kaminari, she walking out of the cafeteria when he managed to flag her down.

"Fenton. Kaminari says he has a daughter?" She blinked her huge beady eyes at him, hands coming up to rest in her t-rex stance as she mulls over his words.

"He said so ribbit."

"What exactly did he say?" Maybe he was pushing a little too hard but if it was a misunderstanding then everything was fine and they didn't need to worry, if it wasn't, it was a different can of worms altogether.

"Her name is Dani, with an I but she prefers Elle, something about being her own person ribbit. He didn't mention much, you know how he is ribbit."

"And he said she was a human child?"

"Yes." She blinked again, "didn't the staff know ribbit? I would think UA would know about that kind of stuff."

"It's not on his file." Sighing he waves her off and makes his way to the teachers lounge, pit in his stomach, before he had even opened the door he was ranting off.

"Hizashi. Doing the math on if the child was born this month, thats 9 months ago for when she was conceived. He would have barely been 14, if she's older..." his husband put his cup of coffee down and nodded solemnly towards him. "If she was older..." He repeated the words but still couldn't find it in himself to finish the sentence but he didn't have to, Hizashi understood what his change of tone meant.

"How about we ask him? We need to know these kind if things, the fact it's not on his file is reason enough to ask, I don't know why Nezu isn't taking this seriously."

"And how exactly do you want to go about that? If it was traumatic for him- if it- he's fourteen Hizashi!"

"Who are we talking about?" Nemuri looked between both heroes, confusion clear on her features. "Did you say conceived?"

"Fenton. Apparently he has a child, two people witnessed Fenton himself saying he had a daughter." Aizawa watched his colleagues face carefully, she was a flirty woman and often made inappropriate jokes but her face only showed horror.

"He's a first year... that's... do you know how old she is?" Nemuri loved her students and it was clear the news was a shock. "Do we know how old the mother is?"

Taking his seat next to Hizashi he shakes his head glumly, scooting herself closer she leans on the table and hardens her gaze.

"You said Nezu isn't bothered? I would have- do you think he knew? He's smart, he wouldn't have let it slip past him." Sighing Aizawa picks up his husbands coffee and downs the cold liquid, the bitter taste grounding him.

"We don't know, he laughed when we spoke."

"But you know how he is," Hizashi spoke up, "He could already know and just be toying with us."

"Fenton doesn't get time off campus to even see his child, maybe he's not involved." While Nemuri brought up a good point it didn't feel right, Fenton was always involved with his friends and family, its who he is. "What did Hound dog say?"

"That he didn't know about it but that he's worried for both Fenton and his child's safety." Aizawa rubbed his eyes, this was exhausting. "Which is all he could say because of patient confidentiality."

"You're joking?" She sounded absolutely feral, "Surely that goes out of the window in a situation like this!?"

A groaning All Might slipped into the room, his skinny form hunched over as he dragged his feet and took a seat next to Nemuri. Deciding it best to drop the subject for the time being Aizawa stood up and left without another word.

The next day Fenton was in his classroom with Todoroki, they were Whispering in hushed voices over a sheet of paper, watching them for a while he leans against his desk with his arms crossed.

Fenton was young, his face was sharp and angled but he still had baby fat on his cheeks. His frame was small as if he hadn't hit his growth spirt yet, he may have the muscle but it was clear his body wasn't done growing, nobody would look at this child and think father. His tie was always crooked, his uniform untucked and messy as if thrown on half hazardly, like a child getting ready by themselves. He laughed at stupid jokes and played childish pranks on anyone he could, Fenton was not old enough to be a father. He was barely old enough to be a teenager.

"Fenton, a word?" Jolting up he shoved the sheet of paper they had been working on into Todorokis blazer with wide eyes, like a child getting caught doing something they shouldn't be.

He had never noticed how small his class was, how young, they were children.

"What's up!?" Now having his full attention he gets closer, taking a seat on the desk infront of the boys.

"It's about some information I've been told by one of your classmates."

"It wasn't me!" Keeping his face calm he raised one of his eyebrows as a challenge. "Sir I promise, Izuku said that we were allowed to spar and I didn’t mean to break the mirror but it's so hard to remember I can go intangible! Heat of the moment and all that!" Todoroki had a slight wide eyed look as he glanced between the two of them, "And okay maybe I did try and fix it with ice when i should have got help but I didn't know it would shatter as soon as it got cold."

Rubbing his temples Aizawa leaned foward, "I was talking about something else but please continue."

"No..." trailing off with a panicked look Fenton caved in on himself, "I've said too much."

Everything he had been thinking about slapped him in the face, Fenton Danny it was such a sweet and childish name, he doesn't even like going by Daniel, he was a child.

Christ.

"I was talking about something you said to Kaminari and Tsuyu. Do you know what I'm talking about?" He seemed genuinely confused, eyebrows drawn together as he thought.

"No?"

"This is a serious and private matter, would you like Todoroki to leave while we talk?" Shaking his head Fenton watches him warily. "Do you have a daughter?"

The strangest thing happened, instantly all the tension the boy was holding was gone, eyes lighting up and crinkling as he smiled a huge toothy grin.

"Oh Elle! Yeah she's awesome, you scared me!" Under his breath he muttered, "I thought I was fucked."

"Fenton. You understand that you are not technically underage legally in Japan, correct?" He hesitated and nodded, "However, i know you havent been in japan long. I know at your age You're going through changes..." Fentons face passed through a series of emotions, finally landing on horror while Todoroki watched on in amazement. "I know its not a comfortable conversation but it needs to be had." Sitting in a better position he takes in his students face, green flushing over his cheeks.

"I am only here to advise you, there is no judgement, if the mother is over the legal age then we dont have a legal issue. Unless it was not in japan. Do you understand?"

"I-what- Sir I dont-"

"Okay." Talking a bit softer he shuffles in his seat, "You are old enough to know consent and the law, and I fully understand being curious as you grow up but you're still young. Protection is important not only against pregnancy but also STDS. I understand if you're trying to protect the mother or yourself but I need full honesty here." Like a flip of a switch Fentons face flamed bright green as he flailed his hands around.

"Nono! Oh my god- fuck- Elle shes- oh my- Elle isn't my bio daughter! She's not even really my daughter!" Jumping up he looks between him and Todoroki, "She's my clone! Oh my gods, please don't say anything else!" Running his hand over his bright green face Danny uses his other hand to wave at him, "Please stop!"

"You don't have a daughter?"

"NO!" Aizawa would have laughed at the humiliation waving off of Danny but he too was feeling rather embarrassed, that and he was filled with relief that one of his kids was not a father.

"This Elle?"

"My clone! She was made by my nemesis Vlad, remember when I mentioned him!?" Aizawa did remember, it was hard to forget that his 14-year-old student was feuding with a grown man. "Yeah she has my DNA and some would technically call me her father but that is not how we work! She's 12! We just say that to mess with people, it was a joke!"

"Well okay, I'm glad we had this talk and I'm glad you're not responsible for a child." standing up Aizawa pauses, "Nezu?"

"He knows everything about back home, he asks so many questions." Falling against Todoroki Danny hid his bright green face in the others blazer. “Please stop.”

“Well... Good.” Walking back to his desk Aizawa felt his own face burn.

At least he didn't have a child...

(I googled the age of consent in Japan for this and It made me sick, at least their ministry panel has tried to raise it...)

@deltaoftheufe I wrote it!

#danny phantom #danny phantom fandom #my hero academia #bnha #boko no hero academia #aizawa shouta #todoroki shouto #fanfic #dp x bnha #dani phantom #danny phantom crossover #crack fic

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m00nsbaby · 9 months

Text

Moon system as Venom hosts.

. . . x Spider-reader. (Disclaimer. Venom ooc, inspired in the movies so it's kind of a angry puppy, lol.)

Steven.

"What the fuck?" You had punched hard things before, but apparently, the huge black slime with eyes was getting the better of you.

With a thud on the ground, you assumed it might be time to seek an alternative because you were sure you heard your bones crack.

You closed your eyes, just for two seconds.

"Oh Gods, are you oka…" You didn't let him finish; you threw one last punch with all your might.

Something cracked beneath your hand, in fact.

"Bloody fucking hell!"

When you snapped back to reality, the giant mass was no longer in front of you, only a guy taller than you, lying on the ground, holding his nose.

"Did I hurt you? Where did he…" "He's inside me."

"Dude… that's weird." What else could you say?

"You broke my nose." "Your pet broke my spine."

Before you could even react, you received another blow. It turns out the slime, and yes, you refused to call it anything else because you refused to accept that this thing adhered to the laws of physics or logic.

"Sorry, sorry!" You had just broken his nose, and he was still apologizing to you. "He doesn't like being called a pet."

At least, both of you were even, or something like that.

His hand was stained with blood after trying to clean his nose, but he still extended it to you, and you took it to get back on your feet.

All your bones cracked when you stood up. At least, your spider sense was calm, or maybe it was because he had broken that too.

You still distrusted when he explained the situation as if you were lifelong friends.

Maybe you were just getting dazzled by a pretty English accent and big brown eyes.

'I'm not arguing with him, whatever you say gorgeous,' you thought.

He kept talking. About headaches, stomach pains, hunger, Venom.

When you sat on the cold and slightly damp concrete to catch your breath, he did the same.

You didn't tell him that this usually wasn't done between "villains" and "heroes." In fact, you doubted he even had a concept of how those things worked.

While he babbled, you wondered if he had no friends, and that's why he was vomiting his most personal secrets to a stranger he had just fought with minutes ago, or if it was just easy to vent to you because the mask concealed all your facial reactions.

He was cute.

Even with the broken nose.

Cute enough for you to ignore the symbiote staring at you over his shoulder.

I mean, the slime.

"So, can I trust that you won't eat anyone?" And he seemed sad to hear you say that.

'Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it…'

"Do you want to exchange numbers?" His eyes lit up.

You took off the mask for him. You could almost hear, or perhaps feel, the strong beats of his heart when you did it. Was it nervousness or something else you weren't recognizing?

"I won't say anything, you know, uh… about this." "Of course, you won't, because I also saw your face." You winked.

Steven Grant, as he had introduced himself, had the oldest phone you had ever seen, yet you pressed each number on the keyboard several times until you managed to type your name, and he struggled with your broken touchscreen to do the same.

Venom called him an idiot when his gaze stayed fixed on where you left, with the mask on, swinging through the cold city.

Venom also called you an idiot, multiple times.

He was apprehensive with Steven, but who wouldn't be? With time, you discovered the innocent nature he had, almost seemed like a joke that an evil black slime resided within him.

Ah, the same one that almost ripped your arm off for calling him slime.

"He likes you, he just doesn't express emotions well…" "He hates me." "I like you." Your handgot stuck on Steven's shirt when you flustered.

And it happened again when he kissed your cheek a week later.

And when he finally mustered the courage to invite you on a date.

Was it responsible on your part? No, clearly not, but you were good with instincts, or at least, that was supposed to be included in the package, so as long as you didn't get bad vibes from Steven, you could enjoy your silly crush.

Venom was pure bad vibes, but you couldn't say much about him.

He never stopped hating you, not even when you tried to bribe him with chocolates.

Well, maybe he could handle his hatred when he forced Steven to take steps closer to you and finally kiss you when he didn't find the courage to do it himself.

Even so, when you called him slime again, he hit you again. "

Marc.

You enjoyed testing his patience.

Marc and you found yourselves together almost every night, against his will. You would use the excuse of keeping an eye on him, doing your 'superhero job' by making sure he didn't eat anyone.

And to his misfortune, Venom adored you, if such things could love.

Over time, you got used to even the strangest things, like when his huge tongue touched you because apparently, your body lotion was seemingly sweet.

It reminded you of a puppy. Giant, somewhat liquid, and with eyes that were scary.

You teamed up to annoy Marc, so he couldn't use it against you.

"Marc Spector!" "Don't you have any concept of privacy?" "Don't you have any concept of time? It's 4 am."

You were hanging from one hand as if it was nothing in front of him.

"I don't even want to ask what you're holding onto."

"It's magic, Marc."

A third voice interrupted. The symbiote. "Yes, Marc, magic." "I doubt you know what that is, parasite." "Maaaarc, don't be mean to him."

The symbiote wasn't even paying attention to him, as usual, it was more interested in forming an extra limb long enough to give you a little push, and you swung back and forth now, just a few inches thanks to these playful shoves.

Marc saw you a little closer and a little farther away.

He found it amusing that hanging from something taller was the only way you were at his height.

Or did he find it endearing? Perhaps a bit of both.

"Marc likes you." It blurted out as if it was nothing, and you, still blushing, smiled in a way that made the guy roll his eyes.

"I don't like you, he got the word wrong; it was 'hate.'" Who was he trying to fool? He wouldn't get away with it with you.

"Do you know what my spider-sense is saying?" "Some nonsense, I'm sure." "Nope." "Is it warning you about this?"

Yes, obviously, Marc tried to punch you, it wasn't the first time he annoyed you with that, but this time, he felt chills when you stopped his hand with yours.

It always happened. He never managed to land the blow.

You looked at him directly, he was used to only seeing the expressionless eyes of your mask.

True, you never revealed who you were. Were you going to tell him? Maybe later, perhaps next week, or the following, or next month.

Someday.

"Don't you have a city to protect?" "I protect it from guys like you." Thankfully, the mask followed the blinks and focus of your eyes so he could see your feeble attempt at a wink.

He always felt uneasy when you had to leave, and Marc always thought it was because of Venom and how apprehensive he was with you.

Or maybe it was the constant fear that one day, he would be one of the guys you stopped every night, like the time you two met.

You knew him well enough to know that he wasn't a bad person, and Venom's instincts didn't make him a… very big threat.

But would you see it the same way if he ever lost control?

"You want me to go, I get it." You tried to dramatize while your body turned with the agility of a gymnast, hanging upside down on the web, it would make it easier for you to climb the wall afterward. "Yes, that's what I want."

No, he didn't want that. His smile told you so.

"You prefer me to leave rather than admit that you like me." "You're unbearable."

They were face to face, and Marc could feel the 'other' watching from the outside. A monster with the curiosity of a child.

"I'll see you later, Marc."

He could hear your smile behind the mask.

"Spidey?" Your heart skipped a beat; he had never called you by such a 'affectionate' nickname before. "Uh-huh?"

Marc didn't say anything else; he just let Venom handle lowering your mask a few centimeters.

It tickled, you had never felt an area as sensitive as your neck.

You didn't mind.

"You finally shut up." The truth was, you were left speechless, with your mask up to the bridge of your nose, and your lips uncovered for him.

Just for him.

He kissed you, slow, soft, and savoring every second of the contact between your lips.

Internally, Marc prayed never to be one of your "guys." Never to lose control.

"Good luck." It was the last thing he said before giving you an extra short kiss and allowing the symbiote to adjust your mask once again.

Your lips and brain felt fuzzy for a few extra minutes after that.

You were no longer there to hear the way Venom tried to whisper, "That was good." To him; he definitely had to stop letting it watch those dramatic telenovelas.

The best part of this was that he had finally found a way to make you be quiet.

Jake.

Venom and Jake were the dream team.

It turned out that Mr. 'car expert' had fit perfectly with the symbiote, except for the slightly disgusting part of… ingesting things.

But other than that, Lockley knew how to use it perfectly to his advantage.

And on the other hand, it turned out that Jake also worked perfectly with you.

You had a deal.

Was it morally right? Ehh… Meh.

Sometimes, as a city vigilante, you had to simply accept that there were worse things, and if this part helped you protect more people, then so be it.

He helped you, well, Venom did. His strength was something you definitely needed on your side, along with the extra limbs since the spider bite gave you everything but a few more legs.

You turned away on the opposite side some nights, losing sight of the criminals who fell into his hands to feed 'the other.'

Also, in Jake's questionable business dealings. Nothing too serious.

"To your left." You obeyed, stepping to the left without even looking around. When one of the guys you were fighting fell forward, you were able to see what could have hit you.

This was getting ridiculous for both of you. Fighting ordinary people felt like staying in the minor leagues.

Hey, at least they finished 15 minutes earlier than usual, looking on the bright side.

"Good thing I was around."

His ego, always his ego, which made you roll your eyes. Both of you were in an alley, the one where you hid your things at the start of the patrol.

He suggested watching if anyone came while you put on the clothes that hid your suit in case there was someone awake in your house.

He had no intentions of doing it; it was just an excuse to spend time with you.

"When are you going to tell me?" The question every damn night.

"I add a month to the count every time you ask, Jake."

"That's not fair." The serious tone in his voice made you look at him. You tilted your head slightly.

"Eh?"

A step closer.

"That's not fair." He repeated. "It's not fair that you hide it from me when you know everything about me. Not when we are…"

Jake was always so calm that it was probably the most terrifying part, perhaps that's how he balanced Venom.

"We are nothing, Jake." Low blow.

Obedient to Jake's movements, two black, viscous limbs came out of him, lightly pushing you against the wall behind you.

Ugh, you hated the disgusting walls of the alleys.

A third limb sprouted while the others kept you against the wall. Jake was always rough with you, only physically, and it was only because he knew you could take it, that it never bothered you.

It was attractive. Dominant.

"We are nothing." You repeated and this time, he heard you smile under the mask.

Mistake.

The third limb went for the mask.

You didn't move from your spot; you didn't fight. You just lifted your chin to make it easier for him to remove the mask.

Jake was amazed when he could see your face. He dreamed about this so many times that he began to feel like his silly crush was turning into an obsession.

Now, it was justified.

The limb caressed your cheek; it almost seemed like an extension of him by the way it flowed with Venom.

"Surprise."

He didn't say anything, but the way he looked at you was enough.

Venom took care of bringing you closer until your body collided with Jake's, who looked down at you.

The chill that ran through you was almost similar to your spider-sense when it warned you that something was wrong.

Although with Jake, everything always seemed fine.

He rested his forehead against yours for a while, something he always did with your mask on. It was as if he was confirming that it really was you.

You waited for the kiss for longer than you'd like to admit.

And that idiot laughed.

You felt his breath on yours and chose to keep your eyes closed.

"We are nothing, huh?" His lips brushed against yours as he spoke. "I'll see you tomorrow then, cariño." It was the last thing he said before taking a step back.

All the Venom extensions that held you were gone, and suddenly he was gone too.

He left you in the alley with flushed cheeks, wishing more than ever to kiss him passionately.

Later, you would get revenge.

And yes, you couldn't stop smiling.

I'm revoking everyone's monster fucker permits according to how y'all react to jake using venom like that

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runnning-outof-time · 2 years

Text

-> Tommy Shelby Imagines Masterlist PART 1 <-

Main Masterlist

Last Updated: link limit hit - go to PART 2 for newer stories

Want to be tagged? Let me know!

All works are my own - I do not give consent to the reposting of them in any form.

——— (listed oldest -> newest) ———

— My Fair Lady: Tommy’s given leave from his post in France, and comes home to the only person he wants to see.

— Keep Her Safe: (daughter!reader) (Y/N) Shelby has been through it all. The elaborate plans, the family fall-outs, the violence. This life was all she knew. So she's confused as to why her father, even after 17 years, still wants to keep her as sheltered as possible.

— Are You Ok?: It's that time of the month for (Y/N) and along with it comes the thing she hates most: stomach cramps. Thankfully, Tommy's there to ease the pain, like he always is. It doesn't matter where they are, or even if it's in the middle of an important meeting.

— Come Back to Us: The Shelby family needed to move back to Small Heath after they were served a black hand by the Italian mafia. Already feeling on edge, (Y/N) only becomes more worried when her husband tells her that he's going to be lured into a trap and would need to fight his way out. All she wants is for him to come back to his family when it's all over.

— The Charity Dinner: (Y/N)'s entire life almost gets ripped away from her while she's attending a charity dinner for the Shelby Foundation.

— You Made Them: Having children is hard to begin with. Having children with Shelby in their blood is even harder. (Y/N) shouldn't be surprised when her kids get out of hand, but it still takes them all on a rollercoaster of emotions.

— Respectable: (Y/N) keeps stumbling into someone she can't shake from her past. Their interactions are tense at first, but then he helps her, and their true feelings come to light.

— Now It’s Time to Rest: (Y/N) manages to pull Tommy back from his lowest point, convinces him that he needs to rest, and even manages to get him to fall asleep.

— Change of Heart: What started out as simple, innocent teasing and intrigue of a new woman in his sister's life has turned into something more, and it's now bringing up feelings that Tommy was sure he'd pushed so far away from him.

— Pressure: Mosely decides to use (Y/N) as leverage to get what he wants from Tommy. Seems like a well calculated plan, all accept (Y/N)'s been through this enough times now that it doesn't really bother her like it used to.

— War Paint: “That ain’t make up she’s got on, it’s war paint.” In which (Y/N) decides to give her cheating boyfriend a taste of his own medicine, and Tommy agrees to help out.

— Calm Me Down: Tommy has a way of calming (Y/N) down, regardless if he’s miles away or right in front of her.

— Back Off: (daugther!reader) (Y/N)'s none too happy when she finds out that her father's trying to run her personal life.

— Rock Bottom: Tommy's hit rock bottom. Because of John, because of the vendetta, because his family truly hasn't come back together even though they’re all living in Small Heath. But (Y/N)'s there to help him through it...and, of course, clean him up when he comes home after having been in a fight.

— The Reckoning: (ghost!reader) Tommy gets visited by the love of his life on multiple occasions. Each visit helps him to cope, but the last saves his life. With it, he's finally able to come to the reckoning that she's gone.

— When It’s Still: For the first time in what seems like forever, Tommy Shelby is out of cigarettes. It's in their absence that (Y/N) finds out one of the reasons why he always has one.

— Maybe I’ll Stay: It was expected that in coming back to Birmingham after living in Germany since the war, (Y/N) Jesus would be excited to see her younger brother and father again. What wasn't expected was that she'd meet the love of her life in that same city.

— A Night In: Upon arriving home from a business trip, Tommy has plans of taking his wife out for a nice dinner. Those plans get thwarted the second his daughter runs into his arms, and he decides that spending the night in would be better than anything else in the world.

— Meet...Cute?: Another lovely barmaid, another spy, right? At least that's what Tommy Shelby's thinking when he stumbles upon The Garrison's newest hire, and he lets his thoughts on that become very clear, very fast.

— All I Ever Asked: (Y/N) was happy with where she was with Tommy Shelby. All was going well until one day he showed up late. True feelings quickly came to light and she found that she couldn’t be caught in his grasp anymore.

— The Dance: In which Tommy and (Y/N) have, quite literally, built their life around a dance.

— Fell Into Place: (Y/N) met Tommy Shelby during the Great War. Their time together was brief, and they both thought that they’d never see the other again. Until one day, they do.

— Bridges Burn: (Y/N)'s had Tommy Shelby as a friend for the majority of her life. So when she starts seeing him in a different light, she first tries to hide from him. But then he shows up on her doorstep, and she decides that she wants to let all of her bridges burn.

— Best of Wives and Best of Women: All (Y/N) Shelby wants is to spend a lazy day in bed with her husband. But will said husband ever allow that? The answer might surprise you.

— The Beauty that Saved the Beast: All (Y/N) was trying to do in taking over as the chef's assistant at Arrow House was get her father out of his absurd contract. She wasn't aiming to thaw out the heart of the man who owned the sprawling estate, but that's exactly what she ended up doing.

— A Beauty Beyond Compare: She performs under the name Jolene. He became infatuated with Jolene. Is he interested in the alter ego or the woman behind it? (Y/N) finds this out the hard way.

— Called to Serve: In taking a job as a medic at her brother's 'bakery', (Y/N) never thought that she'd find someone that she'd be interested in. She also never thought that she'd be saving the life of that same person a few years down the road.

— I’ll Make It Right: He's from a different social class. She's promised to someone else. But they just can't seem to let each other go. It's up to Tommy to make it right for the two of them.

— The One Where They’re Up All Night: Between a five month old baby and a husband that's constantly working, (Y/N) can't remember the last time that she got a decent night's sleep. So she's thrilled when Tommy offers to help her one night. Although that night might not go as she planned it to.

— The Light: (royalty!AU) There's no possible way for a love between (Y/N) and Thomas Shelby to work out. She's the next in line for her family's throne. His family is the one that everyone's warned about. But it does…and he even goes as far as killing for her.

— Too Long: After trying nearly everything to get (Y/N) to notice his feelings for her, Tommy nearly blows up on the man trying to flirt with the woman he so desperately wants to call his. Does this make (Y/N) finally realize that Tommy's not only trying to be a friend in doing this?

— Love Again: A day out on a whim in Small Heath allows for two people to finally meet in person. Tommy finds himself standing right in front of the beautiful woman who he'd only known through words and in pictures. (Y/N) finds herself starting to love again.

— Right In Front of Him: Tommy Shelby threw himself into work after his family became deeply fractured from his own doing. (Y/N) is his new secretary, who's just been hired into the company and wants to make a good impression. This leads to Charlie making a solo trip to Small Heath and Tommy realizing that he may not be able to win the fight with his feelings this time.

— In the Time of Need: Both Tommy and (Y/N) have been through the hell of losing the person they cared deeply for. They meet and find themselves married to each other in order to settle a debt left behind in the span of a week. What starts off as a rocky union eventually turns into something beautiful thanks to a tree and the help of their kids.

— The Hard Truth: He wants her, but she wants out. After the death of her husband, John, (Y/N) can't bear to be tied up into the lifestyle she’d been living in for a minute longer. Things become complicated though when another man who holds the last name Shelby tells her how he really feels about her.

— Not Going Anywhere: (Y/N)'s hired onto the staff at Arrow House in the weeks following the death of the estate's matriarch, Grace Shelby. What she didn't know upon accepting the position was that she would have an effect on not only the two year old boy in the home, but his father as well.

— Making Up For Lost Time: Tommy and (Y/N) were together before the war. They broke things off when he went to fight, but a few years later, they met again. This time, Tommy's engaged in a different kind of war. (Y/N) has no intention of leaving his side now.

— Where Do We Go From Here?: If Tommy Shelby thought he could win over (Y/N)'s heart after being the reason she got sent to prison just because he got her out early, he was dead wrong...or was he?

— I’m Here: (Y/N) met Tommy at his lowest point, both mentally and physically. She quickly becomes a rock in his life and he gets stronger because of her. And when another major event brings him to his lowest again, he finds solace in knowing that she's still there for him.

— Redemption: When a woman comes to the Shelby brothers seeking help, Tommy first finds intrigue in her story. Then he finds himself needing to make sure that she stays safe.

— Special Spots: (Y/N) decides to take Tommy to different places around Small Heath that are special to the two of them. And when she creates yet another special spot, she finds out that Tommy was in the process of creating one of his own.

— Enough Is Enough: A gruesome killing in the kitchen of their family home makes both (Y/N) and Tommy realize that they need to put their current lives behind them...for the sake of their children.

— Who Did This To You?: (Y/N) gets a little more than she bargained for when she tries to find out some information for herself, which sends Tommy into overdrive.

— I Meant No Harm: After being arranged to marry Tommy Shelby so that his dealings with Section D can get back on track, (Y/N) finds herself in a desolate place. A place that is only brightened by the two year old boy Tommy has.

— Roadside Daisies: Flowers play a big part in Tommy and (Y/N)’s relationship.

— More Than Material: (Y/N) tries to get Tommy to understand that she doesn't need so many material things, and that instead she needs him. Tommy doesn't quite know how to take that.

— Be With Me: (Y/N) stumbles upon the man she used to call 'hers'. She's happy to see him, of course, but she quickly finds out that he's engaged to another woman. This doesn't stop her from trying to rekindle what they once had. Does he play along with her or put his foot down?

— Yet You’re Still Here: An unexpected visitor late at night has pulls (Y/N) into Tommy Shelby's world in a way she never imagined.

— Devotion: (Y/N)’s by Tommy’s side from the beginning, and she has every intention of staying by his side for as long as she can.

— An Anchor to the Past: Just when (Y/N) and Tommy think they're in a comfortable place, a person from his past comes back and stirs everything up.

— Research: Tommy enlists a librarian named (Y/N) to help him with research on his latest opponents.

— A Day At the Races: Tommy decides to spend a day at the races and meets a woman who reminds him of who he used to be.

— A Getaway: Tommy and (Y/N) decide to spend a few days away from the Small Heath smoke. (pre-war)

— ‘Til Summer Comes Around: Summer in Small Heath was Tommy's favorite season, mostly because it was when the woman he was in love with came around.

— Not Just Some Backup Plan: When Grace leaves Small Heath, Tommy turns back to the person who's been around since the beginning.

— Love, I Just Need to See: In which Tommy needs glasses and (Y/N) has an opinion about every type of frame that's offered.

— For Show...?: In her attempts to fit in, (Y/N) convinces her friend group that she's got a boyfriend who will be joining her to her friend's wedding. The problem is that she has no such thing. Luckily, she's friends with Ada Thorne...who has a brother that fits the ticket for being said 'boyfriend'.

— I Did It Myself: (Y/N) has to take matters into her own hands after she gets taken by Luca Changretta.

— After All this Time: (daughter!reader) Sometimes there's no forgetting what's been done in the past.

— Jealous: Tommy's not too fond of seeing one of his men trying to make a move on the woman he's taken an interest in. (Y/N)'s not too fond of people acting jealous.

— We’ll Still Love You: Tommy and (Y/N)'s youngest child has a hard time accepting the fact that she won't be the baby in the family anymore.

— Keep Me Close: As a maid at Arrow House, (Y/N) has many tasks that she has to complete. She never thought that one of those tasks would be to calm Charles Shelby down after he's had a bad dream. Nor did she expect to catch the attention of her boss because of how she completed that task.

— Some Time Away: (Y/N) manages to convince her partner to take the weekend off from work…the only kicker is that they can’t go anywhere because they’re currently in the midst of a global pandemic. But she still has some ideas in mind. (Modern AU)

— To Forget the Pain: During a party at Arrow House, Tommy finds a woman inside a room that nobody's allowed in.

— Within the Halls: What started off as a fairytale ended up being a nightmare.

— The Line: (Y/N) does something she thought she'd never do in her entire life.

— As Good A Place As Any: (Y/N) finds the perfect time to share some news she's been keeping secret for some time now.

— A Loving Hand and Some Warm Tea: When (Y/N)'s illness turns from bad to worse, she's thankful that she's got Tommy there to help her get through it...even when, in the first place, he was worried about it and she wasn't.

— A Lazy Day: Tommy comes home to find (Y/N) and Charlie spending some time together in the backyard. Instead of going right to his office, he decides to join in. (Modern AU)

— The Boiling Point: (Y/N) has denied her feelings for Tommy to the point where she can't anymore. Will admitting them lead to good? Or will it blow up in her face? Does she know that Tommy feels the same about her?

— A Moment of Respite: Tommy has a dream of the woman he met in France.

— Don’t Turn Into Them: Tensions escalate when (Y/N)'s worry of Tommy becoming something he's not gets miscommunicated and blown out of proportions.

— Merry & Bright: (Y/N) still gets her wish of having a white Christmas, even if it came down to the last possible.

— The Art of Christmas: (Y/N) asks Tommy to go on a walk with her so that she can collect fir branches and get their house ready for the holidays. (Modern AU)

— Right Person, Wrong Time: Three times where Tommy and (Y/N) tried to express their feelings for each other only to find out that it was the wrong time, and the one time, the right time, that they did.

— The Good I’ll Do: Tommy and (Y/N) finally step over the line after the celebration of the legal betting license that was given to the family.

— Weather the Storm: Tommy and (Y/N) spend some time together after a monumental storm leaves them with no choice but to abandon their original plans.

— The Same Situation: Tommy's so worried about Freddie Thorne being with his sister, Ada, that he doesn't even realize that he himself is in just about the same situation with Freddie's sister, (Y/N). What happens when Freddie finds out that the same thing is happening on the flip side of it all?

— Busted By the Bird: (Y/N) invites Tommy over to her flat after a night out. There, Tommy finds out some interesting things about the woman he's interested in. (Modern AU)

— Like Real People Do: Tommy and (Y/N) run into each other again in the most peculiar of places, and instead of letting their secrets come to light, they decide that they'll just forget that all and find comfort in each other.

— Cyril Needed A Friend: Tommy comes home from business to find that his family grew by one while he was away.

— “Darling”: Tommy and (Y/N) have a lot of explaining to do to the rest of the family when Tommy lets a term of endearment he doesn't normally use slip one night at the Garrison.

— Mutually Invested: Tommy finds out something he did not know about (Y/N) (Y/L/N) after it comes down to a life or death situation. Both realize that sometimes it's best to choose your investments wisely.

— The Silver Lining: (daughter!reader) (Y/N) Shelby's always been the 'forgotten one' in her family, but there may just be a silver lining in all of her suffering.

— A Not So Secret: Tommy and (Y/N) think that they're in the clear to spend a quiet Valentine's Day together, but little do they know that their secret may not stay one for long.

— Tied To You: During a laid back Valentine's Day together, Tommy lets (Y/N) know how much she means to him and that he'll be by her side forever. (Modern AU)

— Better Than the Dream: After meeting in France, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Tommy Shelby were certain that they'd never see each other again...until one fateful moment has Tommy dreaming of her, or maybe he's not dreaming at all.

— What Do You Regret?: Tommy and (Y/N) talk about some regrets in life over a drink and a quiet moment at the Garrison. When (Y/N) suddenly brings up the topic of 'them’, she gets a pretty interesting response.

— Helpless: (Y/N) falls for a charming soldier at one of her family's parties. From the second her eyes fall on him, she's helplessly in love. (Wartime)

— Escaping the Ashes: (Y/N) reflects on her time spent in the limelight. Although she left it all behind, she can't say she regrets stepping into it; for it brought her the one thing she loves the most. (Modern AU)

— Dancing With the Devil: Tommy Shelby arrives in London with one plan in mind, but quickly stumbles upon another when he meets (Y/N). After finding common ground, he makes the decision on which way to go in a rather unique fashion. A decision that leaves one person rather pleased and the other rather pissed.

— This Storm Will Also Pass: Tommy manages to calm down (Y/N) after he finds her hiding and riddled with anxiety during a late autumn thunderstorm.

— Free the Slave: (Y/N) becomes blinded by opportunity when mysterious preacher, Thomas Shelby, comes into her town that she doesn't see the bigger picture of what's going on at first. But when she’s shown it, she becomes even more intrigued. (AU)

— Where the Sky Opens Up to Everything: Tommy and (Y/N) get away from the smoke and the dirt of Small Heath, where Tommy is finally able to clear his mind for a moment. (prewar)

— Twice As Much: (Y/N) shares her thoughts on Tommy's decision to go into business with the Russians.

— My Favorite Story: Tommy finds himself spending time in his office for other reasons once he finds out (Y/N)'s interest in the room.

— PART 2 of the IMAGINES MASTERLIST

———

Divider by @firefly-graphics

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