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m1ssunderstanding · 2 months

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.5

Coke Paul is just so pretty

What is the switching glasses supposed to mean in the penny lane video? Any thoughts?

In this interview, Paul seconds John's “go on forever” comment from a few months ago. They really did so well when they were living together, didn't they?

Okay, let's look at the difference in Paul's trips. His first ever trip with Tara Browne and he's just concerned that his sleeves are dirty and just mildly looking through a book of pictures. VS with John? The “I know.” “I know.” The “emperor of the universe” thing? Raving about it to everyone who would listen? Having to leave multiple times because it was scary how tightly they were bonding?

Their songwriting partnership is beyond insane. It's superhuman, it really is. Their abilities, their connection. And Cyn and Terry just reading. Just completely nonplussed. This was very every-day, monotonous stuff for them. Unfathomable.

That song will always get me, though. “what do I do when my love is away?” “Obviously move my best friend in to take her place and then write a timeless classic with him about how it.”

Astrid: At first I did wonder if the really cared about people's feelings and people's friendship. Maybe this doc's whole thesis is “John and Paul's love for each other was so big they didn't have room for any kind feeling toward anyone else.”

The Pepper photoshoot is insane to me. Like more insane than the David Bailey one. Change my mind. You can't.

John tells an interviewer, "Only now am I beginning to realize many of the things I should have known years ago. I'm getting to understand my own feelings." Were follow-up questions just not invented yet??!! What things have you just learned, John? What feelings?

Never forget Linda took these. She must've been somewhat aware of how annoying this man was going to be about John from the start. And she still went after him. That's how good his . . . Nevermind.

"a decisive moment in the history of Western civilization" Well done, babies.

I love smug Paul in general, and I especially love when he's smug about John. That “me and the badass bitch I pulled by being autistic” look. But literally.

Gosh the Greece trip looks so beautiful. Idyllic. Paradisiacal. All of the beautiful people are just so blissful and in love. Sigh. (Every time I tried to take a screenshot of it it was too awful. Peter Jackson should clean it up.)

What are everyone's thoughts about the cause of Brian's death? I really liked what Vivek Tiwary said on AKOM. He knew he was taking a dangerous amount of drugs and he was depressed. But he wouldn't have just left so suddenly without leaving a will or setting things in order for the Beatles business. Anyway, no matter the cause, his death is the beginning of the end for the Beatles.

All those quotes and pictures about the “intensity” between Paul and Brian are fascinating. “Obviously adored” “overcompensate” “little worries” What does it all mean? Was Brian in love with Paul in the end like he had been in love with John in the beginning? Or did he just feel bad because he knew it was unfair to Paul how in love he was with John?

Wait, Brian was hospitalized for s*icide attempts in 66? Really? Confirmed? I knew he was in the hospital, but didn't know it was due to s*icide.

Paul's hand at the small of John's back here, helping him onto the bus. It's so tender, so customary. They took such good care of each other.

Interviewer talking about MMT: If I can't see it in color, I'm going to send it back. ... :/

They're directing something and as Paul starts to walk away, so does John. But not because he wants to. He's looking around almost frantically. He has no choice in the matter. Only one person gets to control their legs at a time, and right now it's Paul's turn.

Look how fucking ecstatic he is. I guarantee John isn't saying anything that monumental but look at those eyes. He's done for. Gone.

Interviewer: just get a tape recorder and you and Paul and the others just start gabbing. John: well, we've got a lot of that lying around the house, actually. Me: First of all “the house?” “the house?” Just casual. Like “our house” Like it's just common knowledge that they've been married and living together since they were fifteen. Second of all, give us the tapes already!! Who has them? Paul?

All of these quotes from the Hunter Davies biography are just so normal. They're all so normal. It's fine. I'm fine. And here's my tin hat coming on again (and yeah I believe John loved George and Ringo immensely) but I think sometimes in these quotes, when John and Cyn are saying "the Beatles" they kind of mean "Paul . . . And George and Ringo". John himself actually says as much in the seventies, that when he says "the Beatles" he might just mean Paul, or just him and Paul. And there are countless times when Paul or John will start out saying "the others" and end up using just one name in a sentence. Idk this doc makes me such a truther I swear I'm not always this crazy.

And John's self soothing, reassuring refrain playing over all of it, “nothing's gonna change my world.” Right after Paul and Jane get engaged? Someone stab me in the heart, it would hurt less. And this is just the anticipation of the next part. Can I even handle part two?

Have some happy screenshots to bolster us.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #get back #Trigger warning suicide #ulm #understanding lennon mccartney

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dramadramallama · 4 months

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deadass about to fight people defending the core message of death's game like there's nothing to criticize about suicide being straight-up presented as this Great Unforgivable Sin™. personally, i think it could have been such a powerful journey if the preachy tone was completely removed, if the personification of death was utterly neutral, and the main character, yi-jae, wasn't shamed and guilted into Understanding, after going through other people's lives.

i loved the show (!), but the punitive aspect coupled with the literal guilt-tripping and torture simply does not align with the feel-good moral i've seen pleople try to apply to it. the problem is it loses almost all meaning if the character goes through that development under the threat of rotting in hell forever. he's basically reduced to being a rat in a maze, fighting tooth and nail to survive vague, impossible rules, and being absolutely disdained and berated for it.

people do not commit suicide because they don't love their family/loved ones enough. i feel as much empathy for the ones left behind as i do for the ones who choose to leave.

how can we reasonably expect him to experience "illumination" when he's put into increasingly difficult situations where death is basically unavoidable?

i am glad yi-jae came to regret and to feel remorse, i am glad he was amazingly able to see past all the pain and torture he was put through, i am glad he was given a second shot at life (?)... but at what cost? the man basically ends up living his twelfth life alone, and empty, and broken. what a way to show him life is worth living. he did not deserve what lead to his suicide, and he certainly did not deserve what followed.

he tried. he was full of love. he did good. he was good.

#death's game #trigger warning suicide #kdrama #i will defend yi-jae like he's my own son lmao #he was NOT selfish and even if he was #it certainly was not enough to warrant all this #he was just some guy #anyway it may not seem like it but i did like the show lol i'm still gonna point out what was wrong with it though

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ram-kingofpeanuts · 2 months

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I think it's comical the number of times Arjun's go to decision to a frustrating problem is to kill himself if he couldn't solve it in the first go, which he inevitably fails at and Lord Krishna has to save him with a Technicality .

I just imagine Lord Krishna complaining to Godess Rukmini "He can't keep doing this dear!"

Like seriously he came close to dying like 9-10 times and almost 6 of them were from him vowing to kill himself.

From a meta view, Arjun's fetal flaw was his pride so maybe Maharishi Vyasa was trying to show the greatest threat to a proud person is themselves? Idk

#hindu mythology #Krishna and Arjun #krishnaleela #mahabharata #Krishna #arjuna #trigger warning suicide

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im-a-twilight-fan-i-guess · 9 days

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#to many of these involve suicide #Carlisle get your boy some therapy #edward cullen #tumblr polls #polls #the twilight saga #twilight #midnight sun #tw(suicide)#trigger warning suicide #trigger warning

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fuck-customers · 9 months

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Finally put in my two week notice to the job I’ve been at for over seven years and I’m so happy. Working there actually makes me want to off myself and I’m glad that I’m finally putting myself first. If this is the sign someone needs to quit their shitty job, do it.

Posted by admin Rodney.

#trigger warning suicide

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zychimixx · 2 months

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TW: Suicide

“I’ll hang myself here.”

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fitnessgeekandcoffeefreak · 6 months

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This is my friend. Most of my hiking adventures are with him, and his mom. . . . and he's been sleeping on my living room floor since Tuesday night. I will not let him be alone. . . .

I am putting a break in this post, and tagging it, because I know there are those here who choose to block as many suicide posts as they can.

On Tuesday evening my friend's brother, (and Linda's son (she's the other friend I hike with)) made the decision to end his life. I can not even put into words how awful the last few days have been for them. My heart is so broken for them. I hate not being able to do anything that seems tangible. I know it's good to be here for them, but. . . I don't know. I ache to do more. I love them so much and wish I could take their suffering away.

Please. For the love of God, if you are struggling with your mental health AT ALL, ask for help. Reach out to someone you know. Call a hotline. Find a therapist you can speak with.

You are not bothering people.

You are not a burden to those that love you.

They NEED you here.

ASK for help.

I am begging you.

💔

#personal #tw suicide #tw #trigger warning #trigger warning suicide #so many tears #💔#he is one of my closest friends and i hate that i can not take this from him

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three--rings · 7 months

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HEY Trigger warning for the new episodes of Our Flag Means Death!

People who have issues with suicide or suicidal ideation being depicted should be careful. More details below. Vague spoilers.

I'm only halfway through ep 2, so I can't speak to all three eps. But there are multiple scenes in the first two eps where someone holds a gun to their head or talks about suicide or it's implied a suicide by self-shooting has occurred.

Also there's a general vibe that there's serious passive suicidal ideation going on, specifically with Ed.

So if you're sensitive to this, ESPECIALLY to suicide by gun, or people threatening to shoot themselves, I'd watch out. I don't think that it will happen at any point in this show, but still...

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #spoilers under cut #trigger warning #trigger warning suicide #please reblog to warn people

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deltaswapjevil · 8 days

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Underfell Frisk, Flowey, Asriel, and Chara

The trauma children!

Trigger warning for suicide and abuse

Frisk is the human you play as. Quite simple. They bonked their head on a stick on the fall down luckily they're good with first aid. They're a friendly child despite all the shit they went through. Their birth parents were abusive and the trauma rendered them mute with minor PTSD. They were put in an orphanage but escaped and went to commit suicide by diving into Mount Ebott but by a miracle they survived and saw it as a sign from God that they have a mission and after meeting Flowey who presented himself as a fallen angel they set on a quest to heal the wounds of an underground torn apart by the death of a child and the failure of a king.

Long ago monsterkind was ruled by Asgore and Toriel and their son Asriel and later their adopted child Chara Chara was the adopted child of the Dreemurs their past is something they are holding me at knife point not to discuss so don't ask. They are Asriel's only real friend. Things were rough even with the Dreemurs Toriel and Asgore were always bickering and it usually ended with Toriel sleeping outside the castle. Asgore wasn't cold hearted but incredibly stressed because the underground was in great peril and everyone was turning for him for help. He still cared about his family but put his kingdom first. He loved Asriel dearly and tried to make Asriel a better king than he ever was but he never did care much for Chara He believed Chara was a bad omen. He didn't trust humans after they betrayed his kind so long ago and neither did the rest of monsterkind One day monsters stormed the capital demanding Asgore kill and harvest Chara's soulIn a moment of weakness....he killed his own child. Toriel lashed out at him and he in a fit of rage and confusion snapped off her horn and banished her. Asriel horrified by this took Chara's soul and ran away to the surface but was not welcomed by humans who killed him brutally That was day Asgore lost everything And it was all his fault. That was the moment that broke Asgore and would lead to the downfall of his kingdom. A while later the scientist Alphys, who began to slowly descend into madness after learning the truth of what happened to Gaster, Toriel, and Chara at the hands of Asgore, extracted determination from the souls of dead humans to imbue life onto a flower. Not just any flower. But the first flower to grow from pollen brought from the surface from Asriel And so Asriel was reborn as Flowey He only has one goal: escape. However he doesn't remember anything about how he died Just that he was once a prince. He accompanies you in every route of the game acting as a guide, mentor, and bodyguard In the genocide route he adopts the motto "Kill or be killed" and through the players bad influence becomes like the Flowey from Undertale In the neutral route he betrays you. Not Frisk He actually cares for Frisk But YOU the player. He knows that once you escape you'll just reset again. Take away your happy ending Take away his happy ending Take away everyone's happy ending So he turns into Omega Flowey (who resembles a biblically accurate Angel) to fight the player specifically and try and save everyone In a way he's the true hero of the game. In the pacifist route it's mostly the same except after seeing your friends he has hope that you won't reset, that you'll give everyone the happy ending he's been hoping for and he absorbs the souls and all of monsters to destroy the barrier and save everyone....until he becomes Asriel....He suddenly remembers the events of his death and realizes the underground isn't worth saving....No one isSo he sets out to put this world out of its misery. But through the power of friendship you convince him that there is still hope and that your dreams are able to come true and he destroys the barrier.....And everyone lived happily ever after......until you betray them all..... because well.....there's other endings to get....you just have to see every possibility......you're never content even with everyone happy.....and so you reset again. Just to see what would happen if you.....i don't know...Killed everyone? =)

#Underfell #Underfell Chara #Underfell Frisk #Underfell Flowey #Underfell Asriel #Chara #Frisk #Flowey #Asriel #Asgore #Toriel #Trigger warning abuse #Trigger warning suicide #trigger warning death

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monkiebois · 1 year

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ive totally not been stalking your blog and noticed you have some actually good nezha angst content! which like nobody has ;-;

im sorry if you have already done this, but drop your angsty nezha hc's here? basically any angsty hc's for him you want ig

LOL THANKS, i actually haven't done that yet, just sprinkle ideas here ad there for people to read.

alright *cracks knuckles* angsty Nezha hc's here we go. buckle up cause theres gonna be ALOT.

TW--- mentions of child abuse, self-harm, suicide and violence. if u know Nezha's mythology then you know what im talking about. even if you dont Be cautious reading this i will highlight the suicide andself harm stuff in red. the child abuse is all the first half of this post

most of the first part is based off of Nezha's mythology in investiture the gods, some are creative liberties.

Nezha is literally a neurodivergent kid who has been told to stop doing the things he does bc there're 'annoying', 'rude', or 'weird'. which... their not. he just does things differently because he's neurodivergent.

no one was ever nice about telling him to do things differently. or...'normally'. he was always told off in a negative sense. it was straight-up child abuse.

of course back then it wasnt seen as child abuse much, since neurodivergancy wasnt a thing they knew about nezha was just a troublesome child, a burden. and in nezhas eyes no matter how much he tried, no matter what he did he was never enough. he was convinced that he was a mistake and a dissapointment. born with so much potential only to be thwarted by his "troublesome nature"

this "troublesome nature" was just normal neurodivergent things. normal kid things. but no one ever considered that, the only one that did was his mom. she was nicer then the rest of his family. not the greatest of course but compared to the others she understood that he was a child.

i heard its implied somewhere his father wouldnt let him out of the house for the first seven years of his life. Nezha had to sneak out and his mother would call him back inside whenever his father came back home.

one day while outside he met a man with orange hair, bright like the sun in the sky. A man with kind eyes a soft voice. the complete opposite of his father. the man stayed in the village for a few days. he kept nezha company and for once. nezha felt...safe.

but he had to leave sooner or later. even so the man promised to come back (it was wukong on his journey for immortality, disguised as a human)

his father was very picky on the way things were done, Nezha sometimes did things differently or hell probably forgot often. because ynow....hes a kid. but often that wasnt enough. there were times his father was angry, very angry. and instead of being a fucking adult about it he let it out onto Nezhas shortcomings. screaming fits, throwing things. and Nezha had to stand still, 'take it like a man' despite being a literal child. until his father was done poking and prodding at every little 'flaw' Nezha had.

all he wanted was to make his family proud.

then the dragon thing happened.

he just wanted to play with his friends.

he just wanted to protect his friends.

he just wanted to be a kid

he just wanted to do the right thing.

in a last-ditch effort to keep any blame off of his family, to keep his village safe from the dragon's wrath he took a sword at twelve years old and killed himself. offering his dead body as compensation.

he was 12

he was a child.

the man with orange hair came back and asked about Nezha. he was too late.

when he was reincarnated into a lotus body those scars remained. Scars on his hands from grabbing onto the blade and making his hands bleed. scars on his chest from....yeah, he has one on his left arm, stretching across his upper to lower arm and a shorter one on his right upper arm. both were accidental. and one on his neck.

the ones on his neck and chest were not accidental.

im not going into detail but....yeah.

His lotus body...its not exactly fit for him.

his powers i mean.

its too much.

remember how bai he's body started to crack and break due to being too weak for lbd's powers.

okay think of that but nezha in his god form.

if he uses that form for too long his body will crack until it finnaly shatters and nothing is left but a single lotus flower.

thats Nezha.

he's regenerating.

to keep this from happening too often he uses alot of weapons.

no one in heaven knows of this weakness.

Nezha began working in heaven after the whole.....trying to kill his father thing.

Context: his father destroyed a temple nezha's mother had built for nezhas soul to rest in so when nezha was reincarnated he wanted revenge.

anyways

Nezha did not have a good time working in heaven. he was 12 and...well lets just say the lotus body didnt exactly look. godlike. so over the course of a few years he use glamor and transformation magic to change his appearance. to not only look more godlike but older as well. that way people would respect him. no one would consdescend him. no one would have a reason to yell at him or poke and prod at his weaknesses.

his body doesnt grow. he's stuck the same way he was when he died.

its not a bad thing.

its really not.

he can be the child he was never allowed to be.

but he doesn't let himself be that.

he works and he works and he works.

desperate to earn respect.

desperate for people to no longer look down on him.

so he pretends to be an adult.

on one hand theres nothing really wrong with his older form, its the reason he has it thats the problem.

he stays in his older form most of the time bc...well come on. being a kid isnt always great.

despite the fact that he doesnt grow he is mature.

thousands of years of living will do that.

hes still a kid but he has many years of experience.

so being in his older form isnt a bad thing, it helps him do things that would be harder in his normal form.

like reaching tall places.

(even though he is mature due to years of experience and transforms to look older my nezha is still a child please respect this)

or fighting.

anyways

he was there when swk was punished. he didnt like any of it. at first he thought swk was just a troublesome demon but then...then he started seeing what was really going on.

it reminded him too much of his own experience.

he didnt like any of it. and when the burning of ffm happened he only pretended to join the fight. he even managed to face swk for a moment.

only for them to finally recognize each other. Swk knew this was the child from a home of thunder and lightning. Nezha knew this was the man of the sun with kind eyes.

Nezha was injured and swk told him to run and where to hide for the time being.

after it was all over...Nezha was forced to watch as swk...the only man to ever show him true kindness. the only man he feels safe around...was tortured by heaven.

he hated every second of it and to this day it haunts his nightmares. all of it. ffm. the torture, the furnace. for the following 500 years he was under the mountain Nezha had nightmares about swk blaming him for not freeing him.

worst 500 years of his life.

so much guilt.

and he already has so much on his shoulders that he is still learning how to handle.

after the journey they met up again. Nezha could barely stand to talk to him. the guilt clawing at his throat and thumping in his chest.

swk seemed cheery as ever though.

nezha invited him to tea at his home.

he moved out of his families place bc "hes an adult"

he just needed to get away from his father.

swk accepted.

it was nice for a moment. just a little bit.

then swk mentioned the elephant in the room.

he saw nezha and how horrified he looked during...that.

he wanted to ask nezha if he's okay.

for a moment nezha was silent. couldnt bear to meet his eyes.

then all the glamors and transformations fell.

every wall he'd built and fortified over the past thousand years crumbled and for once he finally let himself cry.

like a child.

swk dropped whatever he was holding (poor teacup) and immediately held the poor suffering child in front of him.

dad

Swk is dad

that day Nezha spent the rest of the afternoon letting out everything he had been holding inside. so much for someone so young.

that was the day swk adopted nezha.

nezha didnt know he was adopted swk just started showing up to his temple more often.

when swk told nezha, nezha laughed thinking it was a joke, then he got a little angry. nezha thinks he can take care of himself. he can...but he's not exactly very good at self care. swk told him he doesnt wanna coddle nezha. just... be there when he really needs it. be that person that nezha can run to when everything becomes too much.

nezha cried again.

so. yeah.

thats nezha.

he hides who he truly is from celestial eyes. working endlessly to become the perfect image of a celestial god. doing everything he can to seem perfect and untouchable. strong and unbreakable.

Swk has a room in every home he owns thats set up for Nezha to rest in whenever he needs.

Nezha and swk's dynamic doesnt exactly change much like in the show. Nezha doesnt exactly like how much Swk acts like a goofball. he's less tolerant of it around other people. then goes to ffm with him ranting about how swk is a king, a high ranking individual with alot of power. he should act more like it.

all, while he's in his true form and sits on swk's shoulders.

all while he and swk sit beside a river and lets swk braid flowers into his hair and then eat fruit on a cliff as the sun sets for dinner.

then nezha falls asleep on swk's side and she carries him home and tucks him into bed.

FFM, is a safe haven for nezha when he needs it.

swk is a safe person. the only person who ever sees his true form.

when nezha was assigned to protect the samadhi fire he felt as if he finally had the respect he's been working towards.

he stopped visiting swk as often bc of his duties.

he still visited just. not as often as before.

even so, they are father and son. nothing can change that

for more info heres some links to other posts where i talk about nezha. its mostly for au's but alot of it is also within my own hc's and not just au's

im picking out the angst ones just for u

general hc's masterpost(wip)

Nezha and his Monkey dad

Fragility

he's not good at self care

1Mother?

2Mother?

Picky eater

Sick

Unconditionally

They didn't deserve you

anyways this was fun to make. thanks mercy ive been meaning to talk about all of this for a while now

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achaotichuman · 5 months

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Okay but like imagine if Tamlin committed suicide after the incident, BUT! but, but, but his spirit lives on and he doesn't know that he's dead.

Until after the second war with hybern did Tamlin fall in some sort of memory loop, where he starts reliving memories over and over again until he remembers his death and then slowly he starts to fade and then he becomes a truly dead person.

Sorry been watching Bly manor and I see Tamlin as a Dani/Hannah combo because it's really freaking sad and. I cried.

Hang on need to dry my tears real quick so I can see the screen. Why would you send this to me?!?! Jk ofc, this sounds heartbreaking and I love it.

*Trigger Warning- Graphic Depictions of Self-Harm and Suicide*

When Tamlin fell back into the lounge of the Manor, he looked up at the ceiling. He watched the white cracks and specks of black mould morphed, swirling and changing. He saw it change and change until he could make out the stars in that ceiling.

He looked at the ground, the bloodied tiled ground. He could feel the cold tiles fabric under his fingers. He could hear the screaming chirping of birds outside.

He could feel nothing but pain, only numbness as he looked back up at the ceiling. The white, pristine ceiling.

It was always pristine, nothing could touch the ceiling. It was always the same. It was the same when Rhysand left him, it was the same when Lucien came, it was the same when Feyre came, it was the same when Lucien and Feyre left.

The world was slowly but surely running him around in circles. It started when he saw Rhysand again, he saw Rhysand's eyes glaring at him from across the room at the High lord's meeting. Then the room swiftly changed, and all of a sudden, a girl stood in the entrance of the dining hall. Tamlin looked her up and down, her frame was odd-shaped, her face jutting out in odd angles, her arms too long, her mouth too wide for her face.

He looked to Lucien who was wearing a golden mask, covering most of his scarring. The Fox jutted his head to the girl subtly. Tamlin turned back to her, and like his mouth was being moved for him, he told her, "Your hair is... clean."

She looked as confused as Tamlin felt. A sickening feeling rose in the pit of his stomach. The memory of cruel eyes and grinning face looking down at him from her throne as she demanded he give himself up to her circled around in his head.

And it was only then that he knew why the girl was standing here. That was the intended cursebreaker. He had to seduce her into a romantic relationship with him. A quick glance at Lucien shaking his head revealed that Tamlin may have very well fucked his chances over.

The world blurred again and he was beside the Faery Queen. Amarantha drew a circle on the back of his hand as she stared out at her Court. Tamlin wanted to rip that finger off of her, but he kept silent knowing what would happen if he did.

What was this? Where was he?

He was under a mountain. Under the Mountain. His view shifted, suddenly he was watching from above the party. He could see the flaring of skirts and wings, hair whipping around as people spun and spun to the music, attempting to forget.

Forget.

Tamlin was facing Rhysand again. The sight of his eyes made his knees weak. The childish urge to run into the arms of his oldest enemy friend nearly took him over. Tamlin held his ground, he watched as Rhysand moved through a sea of darkness. Towards Feyre. The urge to run to Rhysand turned to the urge to grab Feyre and run away. Tamlin could do nothing but remain rooted to the spot as Rhysand swept Feyre from the aisle and swiftly took her away to the Night Court.

Tamlin stared at the empty aisle, Lucien stepped closer to him. When Tamlin looked at him he saw how his friend was dressed to the nines for this wedding. Looking down Tamlin saw the white wedding suit he was in, greens and golds shimmering across the pressed jacket.

He looked up and saw smoke and the licking flames over fire. He heard the screaming of his people. He ran and ran and ran. Overturning burning logs and allowing Faeries trapped under to run, escaping to the Courts nearby. Tamlin ran through the burning storms. Flames leapt about like dancers. Taking over everything he ever held dear to him.

When all was done only smoke and ash was left.

Turning around Tamlin saw him, the King of Hybern grinned down at him. With his hand turned into a fist, he squeezed until his knuckles turned white, causing the binds of magic around Tamlin to tighten. Tamlin continued to try and lunge at him, but he just laughed.

A wild animal, he had always been called, a dog that bit and barked. He was sure as hell living up to that today. He didn’t care, not as the screaming of that innocent girl filled his ears. Elain Archeron plunged into the Cauldron, and no one could do a damn thing about it. Not even Rhysand who could only watch Tamlin with pure hatred in his eyes.

It went around and around.

Feyre in the dining hall. Rhysand at the High lords meeting. Hybern in his throne. Amarantha with her hand on his. Lucien with his eyes gone. Lucien grinning with both his intact eyes crinkling at the corners. Feyre in her hunting clothes. Rhysand at the High lord’s meeting. Hybern destroying his Court. Feyre int he dining hall.

Around and around he danced and laughed, and screamed and cried and hurt.

You’re not real.

He sung and sung and sung, until he was screaming and his throat was raw.

Then it all spun around and around until it landed on one single moment.

He was done. Completely and utterly over it all. Why keep doing this? Why keep going? There was no point in any of it. Rhysand would keep coming back, he'd keep whispering in his ear, following him like a ghost of the past. He'd never let him move on.

He would never let him move on unless he went to a place the Night Lord couldn't reach him.

Red ran in tiny rivers down the side of the sink. Tamlin felt nothing, nothing at all as he turned the faucet on high, until the sound of gushing water was all he could hear. He took the scissors off the benchtop and looked into the mirror. Red smeared across his fingers, making his grip slippering, but he held on tight.

Picking up large sections of his hair, Tamlin put the scissors to work. Soon his hair was short and blotched with blood still staining the blades, and golden strands covered the sink and floor.

He looked like when he was younger. When Rhysand still wanted him, when Rhysand still loved him.

He looked like he did the day Rhysand looked at him with hatred and disgust. Covered in blood, his hair dirty choppy. He looked like he did the day their families died.

Tamlin barely saw the tears running free down his face. He didn't care. He picked up that pair of scissors and put them to his wrists.

The last thing he would ever do for the world. The last favor he would ever bestow to Rhysand.

Tamlin barely felt the sting followed by the burning pain. A deep hollowness spread in his heart as black seeped into his vision. And blood covered the bathroom floor like the deep oceans of the sea.

When Tamlin stared up at the white celling above him, why did he fall to the floor? He could have he heard the ringing laughter of the woman he once called a friend, the woman who his father and brothers had mercilessly slaughtered.

"They took my wings, Tam." She laughed in his ear.

I know.

"They hunted me down and watched me scream and writhe, Tam." She laughed over his skin.

I know.

"I still love you though." She laughed as her hands reached into his chest like his body was nothing. She laughed as she pulled him up and up and up until the sky was nothing. The roof was nothing. The floor. The walls. The world was nothing but another figment of his imagination.

Tamlin was looking at the pristine ceiling once again.

“It’s over, Tamlin darling.” A girlish voice soothed him.

“It's time to come home now.” She said.

Tamlin looked up at his first love, Rhysand’s sister, Branon, she smiled back at him.

“Okay.” He whispered.

She led him through the darkness. She held his hand until the world gave way to a bright, warm light.

And the pristine white ceiling faded away to nothing, as Tamlin finally rested.

Thank you for the prompt! I hope I did it justice!

#acotar #tamlin #pro tamlin #acotar au #acotar headcanons #rhysand #feyre archeron #rhysand's sister #trigger warning suicide #lucien vanserra #amarantha

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hiddenvioletsgrow · 7 months

Text

Lucy: Lockwood, it’s suicide awareness month, so you wanna talk about your feelings?

Lockwood:

#trigger warning suicide #this is dark I’m sorry #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #the empty grave

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vote-gaara · 1 year

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Speaking of retconning, the one with yashamarus betrayal actually being rasas idea was interesting. What do you think the original plan was?

Actually, I don't think Yashamaru's betrayal was a retcon at all!

We have to look at Gaara's backstory as being told by unreliable narrators. Gaara himself even seems to have an unreliable narration to his past, whether that be because he was lied to or because he is over embellishing in a way to self sooth during his trauma dumping session with his future bestie and brother in law.

Here is his take on the assassination attempts his father made on his life: Chapter 97 and again in Chapter 547

In one case he claims he "lost count" but later when he faces his father, he claims that it was exactly six times. Now, what I think happened in that Kishi remembered mentioning "six" and just rolled with it to answer the question "how many times was Rasa a murderous bastard rather than just a bastard." In actuality, that mentioning of "six" was to reveal Gaara's age - it was an oversight or maybe a translating error?

Personally, I think Yashamaru's original take on it being Karura's will moving the sand to protect Gaara was actually foreshadowing rather than a retcon, and it was even established pretty early (Chapter 130!). We were given the truth right from the start, but then Yashamaru became an unreliable narrator as an order from Rasa to test Gaara's abilities.

Now one could argue, "Why would Yashamaru agree to kill Gaara when he claimed to love him? Why would he accept the mission in the first place?"

I agree with this sentiment, but purely from an emotional standpoint. I love me a Gaara, and so anyone who harms him is immediately considered to be on my naughty list.

However, if we lend Yashamaru the same grace we lend serial killer Gaara, we can note that the two of them are actually very similar: Both turned to killing in a way to cure their hurt.

It is clear to me that Yashamaru was devastated by the death of his sister, and you can actually still see that grief when talks about her to Gaara. A loss of a loved one is always difficult, but I imagine it would be even more difficult to know that you were the direct subordinate of the person responsible for that loved one's death, as Yashamaru was to Rasa.

Yashamaru watched Rasa make choices that would inevitably cause his sister's death, and yet he was stuck to put his despair, resentment and hatred aside for the sake of the village.

Yet it doesn't end there. Not only did Yashamaru experience all that, but then he had to watch his nephews and niece being forced down a path that they - one - did not choose for themselves and - two - would eventually lead to their deaths. It was just the nail in the coffin that Gaara ended up being compatible with Shukaku and thus Yashamaru witnessing the slow mental decline of the person who reminded him so much of his sister's love and hope for the future.

With that, I believe Yashamaru accepted the assassination mission to kill himself. I believe he wanted to die because living was simply becoming too much. I believe that he thought that if Gaara died with him, he could help him reunited with his mother who would be waiting for them on the other side; however if Gaara survived, Yashamaru would be able to get revenge through Gaara by unleashing him on the village.

A lot of people hate Yashamaru because of his choices, but I see him more as a tortured soul who had slowly lost his hope and his footing in the world.

Now, another reason why people might feel Yashamaru's "double backsies" plot twist was retconned is because in the anime, they do a voice over where he thinks something like "can't you understand the pain I feel?" (It's when Gaara and him are standing in the room beside Karura's picture - Episode 76).

Yashamaru never thinks that in the manga, which I considered to be the most canon of the material.

However, even this statement is ambiguous and can be taken in a lot of ways. Yashamaru could be saying it out of malice, or he could be wondering if Gaara knows what he's been assigned to do...He could also be wondering if Gaara understands the pain that he is feeling in his heart about the death of his sister. It could be argued many different ways.

Another reason why I think it isn't a retcon is because Gaara's sand never stopped protecting him, even when Shukaku was removed.

Now, I will be honest with you here. Shukaku is the type of being who will be sitting next to you in class when you make a really funny joke, but no one hears and so he will repeat that joke much louder so he can bask in the glory of stolen credit.

I think Shukaku heard people calling him "the ultimate defense" and he liked it. He liked it a lot, and so he stole a dead woman's credit by being like "aw yes, that's right. I am the one who's protecting this boy. No one can get past me. Haven't you head? I'm great! I'm the ULTIMATE DEFENSE!"

When...in reality....Shukaku is an unreliable narrator because he's boastful, and also because we all know that silly little tanuki was sleeping the whole time :')

You can't defend and snooze at the same time.

Also, Shukaku lied about being Karura, so double shame on him for lying so much!

In conclusion, I can see how people feel this one is a retcon (as it could totally be argued that way) however, I do think because Karura's love for Gaara was mentioned as early as Chapter 130, it falls into "foreshadowing and plot twist" territory.

Thanks for stopping by :)

#gaara #naruto #kazekage #temari #kankuro #rasa #kazeakge #gaara of the sand #tw suicide #trigger warning suicide

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