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ghostismybbygorl · 1 year

Text

My sweet boy

Soap x ghost

Summary: soap takes ghost to meet his mom for the first time

Warnings: thick scottish writing, embarrassing baby photos, not proofread

"oh Mah bairn! How urr ye daein' ?!"

"Hey ma im doin well"

Johnny decided to give his mother a call to tell her the news

"Hae ye bin eating, did ye fin' a lover yit, whit's thair name, dae ye aye hae that ridiculous skin heid, och mah sweet laddie whin urr ye comin' hame we lassy you!"

"Maa!" Johnny said blushing over the phone

"Ive been fine, yes i have been eating, and yes i did find someone thats why i called you"

"Och guid! a'm sae happy youre in loue whit's thair name!? "

"His name is simon." He said nervously

Ever since johnny came out as bisexual he was always nervous about how his mom reacted to bringing home a man in his life. She was very traditional and wasn't very accepting of it but, she couldn't push her son away he was her pride and joy. She immediately warmed up to the fact that hey if her son is happy shes happy no matter what he does.

She ghasped

"A laddie! och mah loue howfur is he? does he treat ye weel? whin ur we meetin him? yer sisters lassy ye!"

"Ma!" He laughed "that why i called, simon and i have been stationed here for a few weeks and i thought it was time for you to meet him"

"Och joy mah loue! please hae him come ower fur tea ah wid loue tae catch up wi` him. Noo whit does he lik' 'n' whit doesn't he lik', is he allergic tae anythin' that a'm needin' tae ken aboot? "

"He'll eat just about anything. He's not a picky eater like me" he replied

"Thats guid peely-wally mak' a roast! ah cannae hauld yer horses tae see ye johnny! "

"Thats great ma! Hey i have to go the captains calling"

"I love you son! Forever and always"

"Love you too ma!"

Johnny hung up and walked to the debriefing room where price was going over the plans for the next mission. Once he dismissed everyone simon came over to him

"You ready to meet my family?" Johnny asked

Simon nodded "yeah im ready"

Jihnny gave him a peck over his clothed face

"Be ready by 3 and wear something nice no hoodies gitta make a good impression"

Simon rolled his eyes "roger"

Johnny was fidgeting like crazy running his hands through his hair staring at his outfit in the reflection worring about how he looked. He was wearing his kilt with a sweater over it. He liked to wear it around his family when he's visiting since it was such a special occasion to visit. He sighed fixing his hair trying to slick down his Mohawk from any fly aways. He didnt realize that simon had walked up behind him wrapping his arms around his waist

"You look great" he said kissing his cheek

Simon was wearing a black sweater with jeans and his docs. He wasnt wearing his mask revealing his scarred face.

"You ready love" simon asked

"Yeah i am" johhny replied getting into the car

The ride was quiet both boys where nervous. Simon worrying about his impression, johnny worrying about his family liking his new boyfriend.

Johnny drove down the driveway of his childhood home. His family had a cozy house with a large plot of land that had cows, chickens, and a few horses roaming around

"Looks like you where raised on a farm" simon quipped

"Oh Gang bile yer heid"

Simon chuckled grabbing soaps hand

"Everything's going to be alright don't worry" he said kissing his hand "love you"

Johnny parked the car letting out a sigh

"You ready?" He asked

"I am" simon replied giving him a kiss

As soon as johnny got out if the car he was tackled by his sister

"YOU STUPID PERSON WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND" she yelled in his chest

"Good to see you too grace" he said returning the hug

Grace looked over at simon. He awkwardly waved at her "hello" he walked over and was immediately pulled into a hug. Simon awkwardly hugged her back

“So you must be the famous Simon!” she said smiling “welcome home! C’mon in the rest of the family is waiting”

Simon and johnny walked into the house where they where greeted with a Australian shepherd. Her little nub of a tail wagon a million miles an hour She jumped onto Simon barking at him and licking his hands.

“LACEY GET DOWN!” johnny's mother walked into the room holding a toddler on her side. She had the same exact features as johnny bright blue eyes long curly black hair down to her waist.

“I'm so sorry Simon she gets too excited when she meets new people” she set down the toddler on the floor where he ran straight to johnny

“uncleJohn!” he yelled waddling over to him

“Hey fergus!” Johnny scooped him up and gave him raspberry on his cheek. “Wheres your mommy?” fergus pointed to a pregnant woman waddling over from the kitchen

“Johnny you're here!” she said giving a kiss on his forehead and grabbing fergus. “Hows my baby brother doing?” she looked over to Simon and smirked “and how's the new family member doing?”

Simon blushed ruffling the back of his hair emmiting a shy “good”

She stuck out her hand “ olivia, nice to meat you” Simon shook her hand “and I'm Ferguth” the toddler said reach his hand out

“Hello fergus” Simon said shaking his hand

“Wheres pa?” johnny asked looking around the living room

“You know exactly where he is” olivia said pointing to the love seat in the corner where a man with a pot belly slept he had a baseball cap covering his face while his long brown hair stuck out every which way he had a long beard which settled down to his chest.

Johnny walked over giving his thickest Scottish accent Simon had ever heard

“Weel if it isnae th' pie-eater his-sel captain angus mactavish” he slapped his stomach waking him up from his slumber

“Ye wee wanker ah wis juist haein a guid dream” he said holding up his fists “Git yer bahookie ower 'ere ye wee jobby ah cannae hae mah son beat me noo”

Johnny and his dad fake fought causing Fergus to run over to them and fake fight with them. Angus wailed in fake pain as his grandchild hit him

“Oh me chest the wee lad got a punch to em, gonna be strong like year uncle aren't ye” he said grabbing Fergus and tickling him causing a fit of giggles. Simon smiled at the sight of Johnny's family he was reminded of his late family having fun like this (aside from kicking out his father from his family). He missed the atmosphere of what he had back then.

Fergus got out of his grandfathers lap and ran to simon "uncle john is tis your boyfwend!?" Pointing at him "it is" he replied

Fergus held his hands up wanting Simon to pick him up "uppies!"

"Oh you want uppies yeah?" Simon grabbed him settling him on his hip. Fergus pointed at his scars "you got a boo boo!" He pointed out

"Fergus!" Johnnys mom scolded him "im sorry simon this little bugger still learning his manners"

"Its alright mrs.mactavish my nephew did the same thing"

"Oh please call me liz! Mrs. mactavish is my mother in law!" Angus let out a loud laugh

"Kin that wench rest in peace" he said sighing the cross

Fergus touched simons scar on his lip

"how did you get the boo boo?" He asked

"Well i fought some bad guys like your uncle and had a bad accident causing to get boo boos on my face" Fergus gasped "did the bad guys go bye bye?"

"Yeah they did gave em a good wave goodbye"

Fergus smiled "i can make the boo boo feel better ma always does dis when i get one" fergus kissed his hand and put it on simons lip "bye bye boo boo!"

"Well look at that its all better" simon smiled he set fergus down where he ran to liz

"G-ma i made uncle simons boo boo feel better" he smiled

“You did! Well look at you ferg gonna be a good doctor one day!” she ruffled his hair causing him to giggle.

Angus got up from his seat with a groan

"Right lets see this fine man my sons datin'" angus walked over to Simon assessing his features. He put a hand on his shoulder

"Promise to take care of me boy?" He asked

Simon nodded "already do, should see em on the field definitely wouldnt make it without me"

"Oi!" Johnny chimed in "not true at all"

Angus gave another belly laugh

"i like em you should keep em john!"

Johnny rolled his eyes

A tall man walked over and put his arm around olivia “nice to meet you Simon I'm matt” he shook his hand

“Nice to meet you” Simon replied

There was a ding that came to the kitched lizs face lit up.

"Oh! The roasts ready! Everyone grab a plate!"

The whole family gathered into the kitchen

"Wait g-ma! we gotta do grace!" Fergus yelled

"Oh thats right! Simon do you want to do grace?"

Simon awkwardly stood by johnny

"I uhm"

"Ma hes not... you know"

"Oh! Its alright simon we dont have to do it" liz looked at fergus "we can do grace in our heads tonight"

Fergus looked confused but agreeds

Everyone sat the table fergus sat next to simon om his right and johnny to the left of him, angus sat at the head of the table along with matt on the other side. Olivia sat next to him, liz was in the middle, and grace was next to her father.

"So anything new since i left?" Johnny said shoving food in his mouth.

"Johnathan scott wheres your manners!" Liz said smacking his hand across the table. Johnny face turned red and swallowed his food.

"Honestly he eats like he's been starved. Oh angus remember when he ate so fast he got the hiccups for the first time" liz sighed with a dreamy look

"oh when he was a wee lad he used to run around the house nude" angus chimed in

"Or when he got a crayon stuck in his nose" olivia chuckled

"Oi it was a triple dog dare you cant break those!" Johnny huffed. His face was as red as a tomato. Simon let out a chuckle.

"He still runs around in the nude" simon chimed in

Johnny hid his face from his family blushing scarlet now. His family laughing at the embarrassing stories they had of him

When dinner was done liz gasped

"I have something to show you simon!"

She jogged upstairs and came down holding a large book

"LITTLE JOHNNYS BABY PHOTOS!" She whispered excitedly she sat on the couch patting for him to sit next to her

Simon smiled sitting and looking at the photos

Johnny was cleaning up the dishes when he heard chuckling in the living room

"Oi what the-" johnny stopped in his tracks face turning more red than before "ma! Are those my baby photos?!"

Olivia and grace snickered

"Wait till he sees the nude photos" they said to each other laughing

Simon looked at the photos grinning johnny was a cute baby. He turned the pages and saw him in the bathtub full of soap

"Oh that was his first bubble bath" liz cooed "he used to love em!"

"He still does "simon replied causing liz to chuckled

"Aww olivia look it was when we took our first Christmas photo with johnny"

"Ohh and look that was olivia first meeting johnny whats a great memory"

"Oh look at that! His first football game!" Olivia pointed out

"Looks like the mowhawk was his style" simon chimed in

"Oh yes the wee lad decided to give himself a little haircut"

She pointed to a photo of him with a bandaid on his chin

"Thats where he got that scar of his! Olivia and him wouldn't stop fighting had to tie em to a chair to get them to get along."

"That ones cute" simon pointed to him holding a baby

"Oh that was the first day we brought home grace he was head over heels for her he vowed to protect her and fight off her boyfriends"

"And i still do!" Johnny chimed in sitting next to simon locking his hands together with his

"Remember this one!" Olivia pointed to johnny in a bathrobe giving a glare "he was so mad because i ised up all the hot water" she laughed "fuckin pissed me off" johnny replied

Liz flipped the page and laughed at the photo of him sleeping on the floor "oh wee lad loved sleeping in different places look at this one he fell alseep on the counter after a football game"

Simon chuckled and pulled out his phone showing a photo of soap sleeping on their couch. Liz and Olivia let out a loud laugh "oh he never changes" Olivia said slapping his shoulder

Simon held the book now looking through the pages until he stopped at a photo of him being the goalie and right next to the photo was him and olivia on his back

"Oh thats when our schools team won the finals! For both the boys and girls team!" Olivia pointed "johnny was such a good goalie he could have been pro if he didn't enlist in the royal marines"

"Yeah i would but i wouldnt have met simon" he squeeze simons hand simon set his head on his shoulder closing the picture book

"Thank you for the photos i really enjoyed them" simon handed the book to liz she patted his back "love its always a pleasure to embarrass my son!" She laughed setting the book on the coffee table.

The whole family decided to play a couple of games until it was time for simon and johnny to go back to the base. Johnny said goodbye to his mother giving her a kiss on the cheek and giving his dad a bear hug. He hugged both of his siters and gave blew his nephew a raspberry on his cheek. Simon shook angus' hand then he was pulled into a giant hug from him

"you take care of our son you hear?" He let go of simon with johnnys mom giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek

"The door is always open for the two of you!" She said waving goodbye to them as they walked back to the car.

Simon sat in the passenger seat while johnny drive

"So that was my family" he said

He looked over to see simon sulking

Johnny grabbed his hand giving it a kiss

Simon looked at him

"they remind me if my family"

"I know they do babe, but id have ti say they absolutely adore you and my family is your family"

Simon smiled "i love you"

"Love you too bonnie" johnny replied giving simons hand another kiss

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himboskywalker · 2 years

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can I ask what it so inaccurate about Outlander? I ask in good faith it just always struck me as one of the more historically accurate shows

The topic of Scottish identity after 1689 through the Jacobite rebellions and then emigration from the Highlands and Islands to North Carolina was literally my master’s thesis topic lmao So I will try and keep this as brief as I humanly can when I quite literally wrote a book on it.

My primary issue with Outlander’s historical inaccuracies is my main issue with 99% of historic Scottish media,in that it grossly romanticized and subverts modern conceptions of nationality and patriotism on to people who did not think nor operate that way. Outlander is guilty of what nearly anything about the Jacobites does in that it totes them as Scottish nationalists and protectors of Gaelic culture against the forces of invading Anglicism. Media loves to portray them as Catholics,fierce Scottish patriots,and kilt wearing Highlanders fighting for their god given Celtic freedom.

The reality is far more complicated. Scots didn’t really conceive of themselves existing beyond the lens of British,even the Jacobite extremists. And by 1745 even Jacobites weren’t so much for the Stuarts and the ideal of Scottish separatism and individualism,nor were they majority Catholics,nor were they a bastion of Gaelic purity against the evils of the English Empire. The Scots were very much a part of the British Empire and were participants of its expansion,colonialism,and conceptions of identity. Scots did consider themselves to be Scottish,but also British,but also what county they were from,or what part of the highlands or islands. Of course the more remote you got the more distance and separation in how closely they considered themselves a part of Britain. There’s an account from a famous travel journal of a man visiting the Orkney islands like 7 years after William of Orange was on the throne,where the local islanders had no idea the Stuarts weren’t on the throne anymore and that rulership had changed. So of course place and key details of remoteness played a huge part in identity.

But the fact remains that even the Jacobites during this period weren’t like “I’m going to fight for Scottish independence from Britain and I love my motherland for my roots of Gaeldom and I’m going to wear my kilt as a symbol of my culture against the oppression of the English” *bagpipes plays* Many Scots did want separation and didn’t like the 1707 union,and yes after 1745 traditional highland culture was restricted. But we must also remember that even amongst Scottish separatists the Jacobites were considered extremists,and very few actually believed Charles should be king. Many simply wanted the separation of Scottish parliament,and for many others it was the same cries of unlawful taxation and oppression of a foreign king heard in the North American colonies only a couple decades later. The reality is that often that rebellion was born from political feuding,rather than cultural.

The romanticism comes from Walter Scott initially who in the early 1800s became famous for his romantic novels about the Scottish highlands and the Gaelic fight for freedom. Literally almost all of our modern conceptions of the 18th century Highlander comes from Scott and WOOL MILLS in LONDON in 1800 who invented the idea of clan tartans and the kilt as a symbol of Clan allegiance and Scottish nationalism. Identity in the 18th century was a murky and complicated thing,and the conceptions of Scottish and highland and specific clan affiliation and specific family houses were not necessarily in opposition to the conceptions of Britishness,nor was the idea of Anglicism conceived of being inherently bad or a corruption of Gaelic culture. Many hated the English sure,but the majority did not. The idea of protecting and revitalizing traditional Gaelic culture was a later invention,and while certainly many highlanders and islanders were proud of their culture and ways of life,those ways of life existed more from isolation and local evolution of identity and culture,rather than a universal highland and island conception of Scottishness or Gaelicness.

So in all,Outlander projects modern nationalism and romanticism on to the Scottish highlander. And yes they’re romance books,but the continuation of we as modern people projecting our own ideals and values to people in the past is a rampant issue for historians. It’s the same as our romanticism of the American Revolution and the complete false narrative of history that stems from that. The result is nearly an entire country who does not truly understand why our society exists as it does now. If you view the Jacobite rebellions or the American Revolution through a lens of brilliant patriots and nationalists fighting for their culture and freedom than there’s literally no way you can understand your own government or the history of your country accurately. Romanticism blinds the general public to the nuances and reality of history,and that reality grounds our political present and the current issues we all face.

#scottish history #history #tag talks #like ted talks but more obnoxious #outlander #anons #long post #not Star Wars

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sassyfrassboss · 2 years

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My brother is married to an American, they live outside Boston, my brother and our own family are Scottish born and raised.

My nephew started first grade recently and wore his little family clan tartan kilt because he loves it and wanted to show his teacher & new friends.

School phoned that day saying that boys cannot turn up in skirts and cannot use the word clan, so my brother went ape at them and explained they were therefore denying his son being able to show his cultural ancestry and tradition and about Scottish clans.

The school can’t stop apologising! However my brother and sister in law are looking to move him.

Oh man! I wonder where outside of Boston? I am outside Boston myself.

Good for your brother!

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hummingbird-of-light · 10 months

Text

Against All Odds

Part 617

McCoy

McCoy looked at the screen in surprise. The Scott’s house was finished. Granddad must have worked hard. He saw a glance pass between the older man and David. Of course the king had offered help.

“That’s what it looked like before,” McCoy said, another wave of surprise passing through him.

“Aye lad!” Granddad said, overhearing him. “It may be new, and we may have to refill it, but it’s our home. All our rooms as they should be.”

Francine dabbed at her eyes with a tissue Eleanor had handed her.

“This couldn’t be any better of a birthday,” she said through happy tears. “Ye’re all so wonderful!”

“If you’d like to talk with your friends,” David said, “we can let you be for a bit.”

Peggy and Elaine had turned the camera back to themselves. Francine gave a laugh.

“What a lot I have to tell ye!” she said to them. The ladies smiled at her. “I suppose it’s getting on there though, so say we chat tomorrow?”

Peggy and Elaine shared a look.

“Sounds lovely.”

“We’ll look forward to it!”

“Until then girls!” Francine waved at the screen and so did the other two women.

The call ended and Francine looked around at everyone.

“My goodness!” she exclaimed. “What a day!”

“It's not done Mum,” Robbie said, smiling.

“Oh dear!” Francine laughed.

“Ye’ve still got candles to blow out,” Scotty said.

“It should all be cleaned up and ready, if we head back to the dining room,” said Eleanor.

“I think your mom liked everything pretty well,” McCoy said to Scotty as they lay back on their bed.

“She definitely did,” Scotty agreed. “A puppy still would have been nice, but having a home again is better.”

“I can’t wait to see it with you.”

“It’ll be a little piece of Georgiares with all those plants ye gave Mum,” Scotty grinned.

McCoy blushed slightly. “Is that a problem? A little bit of my home at your home?”

“Course not Len,” Scotty said, and ran a hand gently over McCoy’s cheek. “Anywhere with ye feels like home.”

McCoy definitely felt his face warm at that.

“You make me feel the same,” he replied quietly.

Silence fell as they looked at each other. McCoy threw an arm over Scotty’s side and pulled him close for a kiss.

“I cannae wait,” Scotty whispered when they were apart again.

“Me either,” McCoy said. “Umm, I read up about about Scottish traditions—”

“Ye did?” Scotty asked in mild surprise.

“Uhh, yeah, a couple weeks ago at school. Jim mentioned something.” McCoy felt his face warming again.

“Oh no.”

“Were you- well, did you want…” McCoy couldn’t meet Scotty’s eyes.

“Do I want what love?”

“My reading said that sometimes Scottish men wear their clan’s tartan, their kilt, for important occasions. Did- did you want to? Or no? I mean, I’m fine with whatever you want to wear.” McCoy got the words out quickly.

“I hadn’t given it much thought,” Scotty admitted.

“We can do whatever you want,” McCoy said, nodding his head.

“What did Jim say?” Scotty asked.

“Oh! Uhh, that umm, that you don’t wear anything under a kilt.” McCoy felt his face flush hotly.

“Of course that’s what Jim would know,” Scotty chuckled.

“Its true?”

“Aye.”

“Oh.”

“That a problem, love?” Scotty looked at him questioningly.

“No! No of course not,” McCoy said. Scotty was looking at him amused. “Why would it be a problem when I’ve seen all of you so many times?”

Scotty shrugged next to him. “Ye’re awful red mo ghràdh. Maybe I better not wear a kilt. You may be too distracted to marry me properly.” A sly grin made its way onto Scotty’s face.

“Hey!” McCoy shoved Scotty’s shoulder playfully. “I can concentrate!”

“Oh aye? Even if I do this?” Scotty’s hand moved on McCoy, and the prince flushed again.

“That’s not fair!” McCoy pouted.

“Sorry love, I think I win,” Scotty said, before he moved in for a heated kiss.

“I’m alright with losing if this is the reward,” McCoy breathed between kisses.

Part 618

Scotty

The days passed them by faster than they had expected and soon enough it was Christmas.

Even before the holiday, both families had exchanged about their various traditions. Scotty had found the Georgiaran Christmas to be very similar to the American one on Earth. Still, there were of course some differences too.

On the day of Christmas eve, the Scotsman was standing in the kitchen with his mother. He had promised to help her bake some unleavened Yule bread.

"It's nice to bake so many breads," Francine said, smiling softly.

Following the tradition, each and every member of the family got their own bread. Usually it were only the Scott's, but this year there were several more people.

"Aye. The family grows," Scotty agreed happily as he kneaded the dough. It was nice to have so many lovely people around.

"Do ye have all the presents for Leonard yet?"

At that question, Scotty's heart sank a little bit. Slowly, he shook his head.

"I... have some books. And a plan on how to fix the bed problem at school, but... I don't know. I just couldn't think of anything... special."

He felt a wee bit ashamed, knowing that his fiancé would probably have a perfect present for him.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sure every present of yers will be special to Leonard. After all, he loves ye very much."

Maybe he did. But... wasn't it sad that Scotty couldn't think of anything big? He wanted to show his love for Leonard, after all.

Scotty watched as his mother placed the dough, she was working on, aside and walked over to him to wrap an arm around her son.

"The two of ye have been through so much together. The biggest gift this year is... that ye found each other. And that ye are alive and well. Nothing else matters. No material thing can be worth more."

Scotty felt a few tears forming in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away, smiling instead.

"Aye. Aye, ye're right. Tapadh leibh a mhàthair."

His mother smiled happily and pulled a trinket out of her pocket. It was a small ring.

"Now, let's see who will be the lucky one this Christmas."

In one piece of loaf a trinket was hidden and whoever found it would be blessed with good luck the upcoming year.

Scotty chuckled softly.

"Ye know that Granddad gets it almost every year," he replied, but his mother raised a finger at him.

"Ah, ah, ah - more people, more chance of the lucky one changing."

That was true. And, to be honest, every single one of them deserved a good year.

"Actually, it doesn't matter who gets it. I just want all of us to be blessed."

In the evening everyone had a nice dinner together. There were traditional dishes of both, Georgiares and Scotland.

It was great to see everyone so happy. Granddad was chatting away with David and Dr. Boyce. Eleanor was showing Francine a new plan for the greenhouse on her PADD. Robbie and Leah sat close to each other, laughing and talking.

And Scotty? Scotty bumped his knee against Leonard's, smiling softly at his love. The two of them were quiet, simply enjoying watching their family.

Leonard smiled back at him. There was no need for words at the moment. All they needed was to be close to each other, hand in hand.

Scotty thought of everything that had brought them to this day. So much had happened. At the start of the year, they had still been young, innocent teens, not knowing what was to come. And now? Now they were engaged, had survived lots of drama, were happy together.

"Tha gaol agam ort," Scotty whispered and his fiancé repeated the words, before kissing him softly.

They loved each other. And nothing else mattered.

When the next morning came, Scotty was first to wake up. He rolled onto his side and looked at Leonard's bonnie face.

The prince was still asleep, snoring softly. His facial features told Scotty, that his love was having a nice and peaceful dream.

When a strand of the gorgeous brown hair fell right into Leonard's face, Scotty used his fingers to gently brush it away, waking his fiancé in the process.

Leonard's eyes fluttered open and he smiled softly when he saw his counterpart.

"Merry Christmas, love."

Scotty gave him a kiss, before answering in his mother tongue.

"Nollaig Chridheil, mo ghràdh."

#star trek #montgomery scott #leonard mccoy #scones #au #against all odds

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herbalsingularitea · 1 year

Text

Holly Jolly (Chapter 4)

Summary - “Whaaat? That’s bull. I bet they’re discriminating cause you’re young. I know that game and it’s so stupid. Just cause we’re younger doesn’t mean we don’t know what we’re doing, am I right?”

For some reason, this really tickled Bernard.

Pairing - Bernard/OC

Word Count - 6985

Previous Chapter -- Next Chapter

Chapter 4 - Once Bitten, Twice Shy

(December 27th, morning)

Holly sank into her fold out chair with a thermos full of steaming hot chocolate. Powder packets weren’t as good as the real thing her dad used to make with dark chocolate, cinnamon, and their own homegrown chiles, but it was better than nothing.

She had made it back to camp yesterday no problem and gave herself a thorough rub with a wet rag before passing out on her bed roll. She was glad to be able to use her portable stove again, heating snow over an open fire with a single pot she'd had to hold up the whole time was entirely too inconvenient. She sort of wished Bernard had left that wooden rack behind. It could have come in handy.

She had radio’d in to her research station and spoke with Dr. Branson about Bernard. He had been thrilled that Holly had managed to secure a partnership with the Morozko Company, even if it was temporary. Their funding had suddenly doubled and she was given the option to stay for six months instead of the initial 8 weeks she had planned for. She’d still need to return to the station at the end of the 8 weeks for a supply run, but she had full permissions to stay in the North Pole for the better part of the year with a possible extension if she did good work.

She studied the map that Bernard had marked for her and started planning her next steps tracking Catheri—XJ-17. The bear had gone north according to Bernard. She’d taken her cub up near some mountains, which was what Holly had initially guessed was the case when XJ-17 first disappeared. There were plenty of places to hide a baby bear and most likely, she wouldn’t be coming out of the mountains for another couple months when her cub was better able to defend herself if need be. But still, she was hoping she’d catch a glimpse of the new mother and cub, just to know they were okay out there.

Holly had set up several cameras within a 30 mile radius of her camp when she first arrived, but with Bernard’s info on the other bears her team had marked missing, she knew exactly where to move them. She’d have to spend the next few days going around and disassembling the previous set ups, but that was okay. She had all the time in the world now.

She had worked all morning reorganizing her supplies, performing some maintenance on her snowmobile, cleaning her sheepskin rug, and answering emails about the partnership. She should get a jump start on those cameras, but what was the rush? She decided a nice day bundled up, drinking hot chocolate and listening to Christmas songs was well deserved after a solid week stuck in a snowstorm. And yes, she knew Christmas had passed already, but she had spent the actual day shivering alone in the cold, so she wanted to make up for it now.

She was still alone, of course, but at least she wasn’t shivering in the cold. Well, not as much.

If only there was someone there to cuddle up to. Someone with big brown eyes and nice hands and a warm smile. Someone who she could talk to, laugh with, maybe even sing songs together.

She wondered if Bernard liked Christmas songs. Most people she knew were split, either they loved Christmas music or they hated it. She couldn’t be sure, but he just seemed like the type who would get really into the holiday spirit. His outfit was pretty festive in green and red with his jingle bell necklace. Looking back, it made sense why he had been dressed that way. He was probably celebrating the season himself. She wasn’t sure what Christmas was like in Russia, but it must be part of their tradition, like German lederhosen or Scottish kilts. Either way, he looked very handsome in his fancy tunic and hat.

Okay, so she had a crush. No big deal, right? It was normal after being so isolated and then suddenly meeting a handsome, intelligent guy who shared her interest in arctic ecology. She was just so curious about him. He was pretty tight lipped about himself, and she never could resist a good mystery.

Next time she saw him, she would ask him more about himself. If she was going to be working with him for the next few months, she’d like to get a better idea of who Bernard was as a person, where he came from, what he liked to do for fun.

Only in the spirit of camaraderie, of course. She couldn't help her attraction, but that didn't mean she had to be obvious about it. The last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable.

Holly sipped her hot chocolate and turned up ‘Silver Bells’ as she settled back into her chair, oblivious to the streak of sparkling blue light that shot across the flatlands and towards the center of the North Pole.

Bernard frantically skidded around the corner of a narrow hallway and slid in behind a crowd of elves at the entrance to the Elfcon headquarters.

“Well, well! If it isn’t the Arch Elf himself!”

Jack Frost stood proud and pristine in the middle of the Elfcon observatory, every elf in the room staring in apprehension at the icy figure. Tamika, Head of Elfcon, looked to Bernard for direction. Jack was leagues ahead of them all in importance, but the Head Elf had more authority here in the North Pole.

“Jack Frost, welcome to our humble Workshop. We weren’t expecting a visit.” He kept his tone carefully neutral. No need to antagonize the mercurial legend just yet.

“Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought it would be good manners to check in after that little snow storm you all requested to get rid of that pesky human.”

Great, Jack was in a nosy mood. Plenty of magical creatures and mythical figures relied on Jack for his wintery touch, be it to aid in their own projects or as a convenient distraction for wayward humans. The North Pole wasn’t the only place to take advantage of his unique skills, but he rarely took a closer look at these requests. Bernard could appreciate his power and how much it had helped them over the years, but with Holly still out there and Jack’s record of less than tender affections towards humans, Bernard worried for the safety of the mortal girl.

“Yeah, thanks, we’re all good now. No more problems.”

Time to redirect and get Jack out of here as quickly as possible. He’d need to do this carefully. If Jack thought he was hiding something, they’d never get rid of him. Tamika shot a questioning look at the dark haired elf, and Bernard silently willed her to play along.

“Yep, no worries here, Mr. Frost.” Tamika was sharp. “We sure do appreciate your help, though!”

And just like that, the entire Elfcon team was chiming in with thanks and words of praise. Jack soaked it up with a wolfish grin, arms spread dramatically like he was receiving an encore for a top performance.

“Of course, of course, anything for my favorite little elves!” Bernard cringed at Jack’s patronizing response. “After all, you little cuties need all the help you can get without a Santa.”

A telling silence descended on the room. Jack knew. He knew that their Santa was not at the North Pole. That’s why he’d come.

Bernard assumed they would have more time. Of course the Council of Legendary Figures were informed about the new Santa, however, Jack never seemed interested in Council affairs. But of course he’d take note of this particular piece of news, everyone knew Jack was intensely jealous of Christmas. Bernard wasn’t too worried, though. Having Scott down south was actually a blessing in this case. The last thing he needed was a messy human who couldn’t accept his fate yet mucking up relations with the spirit of winter. Jack might cause them some mischief without Santa supervision but he’d never make a move to seriously disrupt Christmas while Bernard was there. He would deal with Jack’s pranks and posturing for now until he got bored and left. Spring was just around the corner, after all, and Jack wouldn’t miss the opportunity to hit the northern hemisphere with one last blast of icy wind before the year started warming up.

“We’re handling it just fine, Jack.”

“Oh, I’m sure you are, Bernie!” His blue face was twisted in mock sympathy. “I’m sure you’re doing a fantastic job. But you’re no Santa, are you?”

Bernard felt his face twitch, his facade of calm wavering. “No. But we do have a Santa who will be ready to go by Thanksgiving, so it’s not a problem.”

“Thanksgiving? That’s awfully late in the year, isn’t it? Why, you must be scrambling to pick up the slack.” Jack was pushing it. Bernard needed to keep his head here.

“We’re working out some new ideas to get ahead of it as we speak, actually. I’m confident that this year’s Christmas will be grander than ever, but we appreciate the concern. I’ll be sure to mention to the new Santa how gracious you’ve been to come all the way up here to check on us.” If Jack wanted to pontificate and pretend, then Bernard would toss it right back at him.

Jack’s frozen grin cracked just slightly as he stared down the Head Elf. For a long tense minute, neither spoke or faltered in their gaze. Tamika shuffled her feet a bit impatiently, and Jack snapped his eyes to her.

“Poor little elves! I must be holding you all up from your very important work. I know how much you hate being idle, please, forgive me!”

Tamika gave him a tight lipped smile. “All good, Mr. Frost. It’s always a pleasure to have you visit.”

“Well, I’ll just be on my way then.” He moved closer in a rigid walk, limbs swinging as if they were half frozen—which they were. “But Bernie,” he scanned the tall elf’s eyes, looking for weakness, “do let me know if there’s anything I can do to help out.”

Bernard’s glare was unrelenting. “Will do. Thanks again, Jack.”

And with one last grin, half twisted into a snarl, Jack was gone, a streak of blue left in his wake.

“This might be a problem.” Tamika said turning to him, arms folded over her round belly. “We should get that human out of the North Pole as quickly as possible. It’ll be hard enough with Jack poking his pointy nose into Workshop business without having to look out for her too.”

“She’s just been approved for an extension. There’d be too many questions if we tried to backtrack now. We’ll just have to monitor her movements more closely.”

Tamika looked unimpressed. “Sir, that’s insane. The Elfcon team has enough work as it is. We can’t afford to babysit some human.”

“Don’t worry about it, Tamika. I’m the only one tall enough to keep in contact with her anyways. I’ll take care of it.” He sounded more sure than he felt. “I’ll just… delegate some of my other duties.”

She raised a brow in disbelief. “You? Delegate? This should be good.”

“Yeah, alright, enough of the insubordination, okay? C’mon, we gotta get going. This whole ordeal’s made us late for the production meeting.”

This was one of Bernard’s favorite parts about his job—planning out production for the year. It was also one of the most difficult parts. He thrived on organization and efficiency. Hearing everyone’s needs and making a plan that would ensure all were happy and supported could be very rewarding. It was like solving a puzzle. He was good at it.

But ten lords a leaping, these department heads could be whiny.

“I’m telling you, plaid is out! It was on its way out last year, and it’s completely out the door and halfway to Bermuda by now!”

“And I’m telling you, we got what we got! I’m not going to tell my elves to throw out a hundred yards of fabric just because you snoots in doll dresses think plaid is suddenly ugly!”

Judy gave him a sympathetic shrug from where she sat across the conference table. He could tell his forehead was red from how hard he’d been rubbing it the past hour.

“Look, let’s all just take a breather and table this topic for now. I’m sure we can all come to an agreement once we’ve had time to cool off.” He said as diplomatically as he could.

“Fine.”

“Okay, great. Judy, what do you have for me?”

Judy gave the room a serene smile as she took the floor. “The Spirit Department is ready to start this year’s spirit surveillance and we’re confident that this year will be topping charts. This past Christmas was a huge success. Christmas spirit has never been higher.”

“That’s great news!”

“Yes, it is. However, we have noticed something slightly worrisome. While Christmas spirit is high, magic pockets in the human world have never been smaller.” She pulled up a world map on the projector with several large fields of blue overlaid in various places. “This is from 20 years ago. Magic thrived in all these areas marked in blue.” She changed the slide to another world map, but on this one, the totally blue areas from before were now thousands of blue dots instead. “This is from this past year. The areas of magic now don’t extend further than the immediate area around a child who believes. Take New York for instance. The entire city used to be a hot spot for magic and belief. But now it’s mostly a dead zone with magic only existing around individual children. Some neighborhoods have more magic if there’s more children concentrated there, but for the most part, the magic is gone from the streets.”

Bernard chewed his lip as he listened. “Do you know why?”

“No, sir. The children’s belief isn’t any less than it was before, it just isn’t spreading into the world like it used to. It’s a conundrum, for sure.”

“That’s… concerning. This is gonna significantly limit where we can send elves out into the human world. Keep an eye on it, Judy, and let me know if there’s any changes. For now, we’ll just have to work with it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Anything else?”

Judy’s smile was back in full force. “Yes, actually. As you all know I’ve recently taken on an assistant, Abby. She’s a sweet girl, very hard working. Abby has come to me and requested permission to plan a New Year’s Eve party for everyone.”

The Heads seated around the table seemed interested, hums of delight punctuating her words.

The Head Elf looked a bit unsure, however. “I don’t know, Judy, y’know, this is going to be a pretty busy year—we could use that extra time to jumpstart production. And isn’t Abby a bit too inexperienced for something like that? She should probably think smaller, maybe just a party for the Spirit team to start?”

Judy blinked at him, a challenging look on her face. “I seem to recall someone else giving an inexperienced elf a chance pretty recently and might I say,” she looked at Quintin sitting further down the table, Peewee nervously fidgeting at his side, “I think he’s doing a fantastic job!”

Tamika snorted at Judy’s sassy retort. Curtis shot an annoyed look towards a beaming Quintin who sat up straighter at the attention.

“Why, thank you, Judy!”

Bernard rolled his eyes with a huff. “Point taken. Alright, how about this. Curtis and I will do everything within our power to get production ahead of schedule in the next few days so that Abby can throw her party. But tell her it needs to be in the Village. If a department isn’t ahead in time, then those elves can’t go, so don’t expect the whole Workshop to be there.”

“Understood, sir. I’ll tell Abby to start preparations.”

“Great, moving on.”

(December 31st, early afternoon)

Curtis loaded the last doll house roof onto the crate with a definitive grunt and turned to Bernard and Muffin. The Head Elf nodded his head in acknowledgment at the blonde elf. “Nice work, Curtis. I think that about does it for the doll and doll house assembly teams. Muffin, feel free to tell your elves they can head out for the day.”

Muffin squeaked in excitement and twirled on the spot, dancing away to let her girlfriend, Ishaan, know that they’d be able to go to the party tonight. At her pronouncement, the other elves on the teams let out a cheer and started packing up their work space for the day.

Bernard faced his assistant. “Who’s left?”

“Just the Woodworking Department and a few general assembly teams, sir. They didn’t quite make quota.”

“Doug‘s probably kicking himself right about now for wasting all that time pushing oak on the truck assembly teams. He should have known they wouldn’t go for it.”

“He shouldn’t have ordered so much oak to begin with, we never use that much heavy wood.”

“Yeah, true. Well, it is what it is. What’s next?"

A sour expression appeared on the smaller elf’s face. “Quintin was wondering if R&D would be allowed to attend the party since he wasn’t given an actual quota for his elf-shelf thing.”

“Elf on the Shelf. And sure, they can go. We’ve already got over 2k dolls and books ready to ship, I’d say that’s plenty of progress to start.”

“Fine. I’ll let him know.” Curtis grumbled.

Bernard looked amused at his assistant’s disgruntled expression. “What’s with the face? You don’t like Quintin?”

“He’s okay, I just think he’s a bit arrogant.”

“You’re one to talk, Number Two.”

Curtis stiffened at the nickname. “Number Two—I, I, I’m your Number Two?”

Bernard seemed to realize what he let slip and coughed a bit to cover his sudden embarrassment. “Yeah, uh, well y’know, sure! Not officially yet, of course. But you’re doing a great job lately Curtis so, uh, y’know, once Santa gets back—we’ll see.”

Curtis’ eyes sparkled at the praise, his hands grasped together in front of him. “Yes, sir! Of course, sir! I’ll be sure to keep working hard until then!”

“And after, I hope.” Bernard chuckled.

“Right, of course.”

Bernard coughed again, his cheeks still a bit pink. “Well, uh, listen Curtis. How about you go ahead and take off for the party? I’ll wrap things up here.”

“Are you sure? There’s still a lot to do, isn’t there?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine, I got it all under control. I need to take care of a few other things anyways. No use in both of us missing out on the party.”

“What, you mean you aren’t going? Didn’t you miss the Spirit Festival too, though?” Curtis cried.

“It’s no big deal, hey, I’m the Head Elf, remember? Comes with the job sometimes. Keep that in mind.”

Curtis scrutinized his boss, noting the deep dark smudges under his eyes and the tense lines framing his mouth. Bernard had never looked more exhausted.

“Yeah, I guess it’s a taxing position. Maybe you should sit down, sir—you seem pretty tired.”

The Head Elf pushed past him with hardly any reaction to his concern, just a brusque “I’m fine.” and away he went to do whatever it was he needed to do. Curtis stared after him with open worry. Bernard was obviously not doing well, but if he wouldn’t listen then there wasn’t much the younger elf could do about it. He took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh before heading towards the Workshop exit.

Bernard hadn’t felt this drained since his dishwashing days. He stopped by the Woodworking Department to inform them they’d have to keep working til the end of the day, Doug arguing with him a bit about whether or not the quota was actually met. Normally he’d have the patience to explain things more diplomatically, but he found he just didn’t have the energy for it today. He growled at Doug to get back to work and marched out in a rage. He was still mad by the time he got to R&D, but managed to push down his bad mood to inform Quintin and his workers that they were clear to go to the party. The elves were all aglow as they rushed out in groups, chatting about what they’d wear and who they wanted to dance with once the clock struck midnight. Quintin gave him a concerned look, but didn’t say anything about his haggard appearance.

The Head Elf stopped into his office and grabbed his cloak and scarf before heading to the stables. Dancer nudged his shoulder with a worried grunt and he patted her on her velvet nose. “I’m alright, my lovely. I just have one last thing to do tonight and then I can finally take a break.” He climbed aboard and they started weaving through the Village streets towards the exit. He could hear music and laughter several streets over, but he was too fatigued to feel sad that he was missing out again. All he could do was focus on what was in front of him, his vision tunneling on the arctic flats beyond the magic barrier.

He just needed to check in with Holly, that’s it. That’s the last thing on his task list. After days and days, he had finally gotten caught up with all his Head Elf duties and his newly acquired Santa duties. He had to cut some of Curtis’ assignments and take them on himself, but everything was now in order. He could actually afford to get a good night’s sleep tonight before heading back to work in the morning. And man, did he need it. He swayed a little and Dancer grunted at him again, this time more insistently. He patted her neck. “Really, I’m fine. Come on, it’s the home stretch. Let’s just get this over with so we can get back home.”

Dancer took off into the snowy landscape, taking big leaps into the air and gliding back down over and over again as she ran. The elf on her back started waking up a little more as the cold air blew into his face. He felt the nausea he’d been fighting all day recede as well, and in its place, a gnawing hunger. He’d forgotten to eat today. They jumped into flight and soared over the icy cliffs that separated the huge expanse of flatlands and landed without incident on the other side. After another few minutes of running, Dancer slowed as they rounded a snowy mountain. Holly’s camp was in the distance, maybe a good 10 minute walk from there. Bernard dismounted and told Dancer to stick near the mountain so she wouldn’t be spotted too easily. He pulled his hood over his head and started the long trek to the human campsite.

Holly was absolutely bushed. Every camera, all 12 of them, had been taken from their old locations and brought back to home camp. It had taken several days of riding around and long hours dismantling the frames she’d mounted them on, but here they all were. She’d spent the better part of the day cleaning them up and organizing the parts to pack into the snowmobile, but she was finally ready to head back out and set everything up in their new locations where Bernard had suggested. It was later in the day, but she was eager to get the first few up and live. She had just grabbed her backpack from the tent and zipped the flap back up when she noticed the figure heading towards her camp.

Bernard!

He’d finally come back.

She waved at him in greeting, a smile lighting up her face. He waved back and soon was close enough to call out to her. “Hey there, Holly Jolly!”

“Well, well, if it isn’t Saint Bernard! Back again already?”

“What can I say, I was a tad worried I’d find a Holly-popsicle when I came back so I thought the sooner the better.”

“Ha, ha, funny guy, I told you I’m no amateur! Who could freeze with this sweet set up?” She gestured proudly to the tent and equipment around them.

“Yeah, not bad. I’ve definitely seen worse.”

“Hey, not all of us get to work with hot shot mysterious Russian super scientists, y’know!”

He held up his hand placatingly, a wry smile on his lips. “Alright, fine, it’s a good—no wait, the best camp site I’ve ever seen. Happy?”

She giggled. “Let’s say ‘satisfied.’”

“Sheesh, you’re a pain.”

“If I’m such a pain, then you can go. There’s the door.” She waved her hand out to the open snow drifts all around them. They both looked out into the wasteland for a beat before cracking up. His laugh was as musical as ever.

“So what are you doing here? Just checking in?” She asked when she’d calmed.

“Sorta. I figured you might need help gathering the cameras.” He pulled his hood off, that same green beret he’d worn before pulled low over his ears again.

“Oh, thanks, but I already got them. I was actually about to head out and set up the first three in their new spots. Wanna come with?”

“Uh, sure, why not? I got time.”

“Awesome! Where’s your snowmobile, by the way? You don’t have to leave it behind when you come to check in, y’know. I’ll know it’s you if you ride up.”

“Ah, uh, no. See, about that. I didn’t ride here, I just walked.”

“You… walked? From where? There isn’t a research station anywhere near here, I’d have seen it.”

“Yeah, well, it’s hidden and uh, look, don’t worry about it. Can I just ride with you for now?”

A rush of annoyed breath left her at his obvious deflection. “Sure, it’s not a problem. Let’s head out.” She pushed past him and he seemed to sway for a moment before regaining his balance. Oops. Maybe she was being too eager. It was later in the day after all, no need to be so energetic when he’s probably tired. Honestly, she was just grateful for the extra set of hands. Set up shouldn't take long at all with Bernard's help.

She slung her backpack on the already loaded snowmobile and climbed on top. “All aboard!”

He hesitated for a moment before throwing his leg over and climbing in behind her. “Hold on tight.” She said and kicked it on. The snowmobile lurched forward and suddenly his hands were on her hips. A tingle simmered on her skin where his fingers pressed against her. They picked up speed and started heading to the first set up spot. As they glided across the snow, Holly felt him readjust in his seat. She’d ridden passenger in a snowmobile before, so she knew he was probably struggling with how much bounce there was. She grabbed his wrist and tugged it across her abdomen. “It’s a much smoother ride if you scooch up more!” She called over the rushing wind. She fought a blush and told herself she was just doing this so he wouldn’t go flying if they hit a bump.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then he was sliding closer to her, pushing his chest flush with her back. His arms locked around her and they both simultaneously breathed a shaky gasp which turned into nervous giggles. She turned bright red as that soft musical laugh was now right beside her ear.

God, he was warm. And he smelled really, really good. Like nutmeg and something piney. It was a comforting, earthy scent that made her toes curl in her boots.

Too soon, they reached their destination and started setting things up. Bernard wasn’t sure how her cameras worked, but he was a quick learner and took her direction without question.

The next cameras went up much the same, the pair riding from site to site and making swift work of the set up. She had just finished testing the last one when she noticed something seemed off about Bernard. He was drooping where he stood between her and the snowmobile. Holly took several steps forward until she reached him, grabbing his arm with a baffled “Hey, you alright there?”

He swallowed thickly and blinked his eyes a few times in quick succession. Bernard was obviously much more tired than she had thought. Maybe he was even sick? She couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed earlier. The dark circles under his bloodshot eyes were stark against his pale face. His cheeks, so rosy and plump before, were sunken and tense around his mouth. They were still sparkly, though, maybe he wore makeup? Nothing wrong with that, but if he was this tired why would he bother putting on face glitter? He started to sway and her other hand came up to help steady him.

“Woah, you don’t look so good. Maybe you should sit down.”

“No, no. Why does everyone keep saying that? Im fine.” He didn’t sound fine. He sounded like he was going to faint.

She pulled him back to the snowmobile and was alarmed to find no resistance whatsoever from him. “Hey, hey, stay with me here.” He slid down into the snow beside the vehicle, his back propped up against it. “Bernard? Bernard! Hey, c’mon man, don’t do this to me right now. Hey! Can you hear me?”

He was passed out cold. Holly swore under her breath and pulled his arm up and over her shoulders. He wasn’t a very big guy, maybe 3 or 4 inches taller than her, but he was heavy. She managed to get him on the seat and slid in behind him. “Hold on, bud, I’ll get us back to camp.”

His head lolled back against her shoulder, his eyes twitching restlessly behind closed lids. She drove as swiftly as she dared with him limp like he was and made it back to camp in good time.

He grumbled a bit as she hoisted him up out of the seat. “I don’t need help. I’m fine.”

“Humor me, okay? Let’s sit.” She led him over to a fold out chair beside the fire and pushed him down until he fell back into it. His breathing had gone ragged and he was starting to shiver.

“Woah, okay, hold on there. I’ll be right back.”

Bernard wasn’t sure what was going on. His body was failing him, he couldn’t catch his breath, he didn’t know where he was. His eyes cracked open and he realized he was sitting by a fire. Was he home? How did he get there?

“Here.”

A fluffy blanket was suddenly swaddling his body and a vaguely familiar face swam in front of him.

The human girl, Holly. That’s right. He must have passed out for a minute or two.

This was bad. He couldn’t afford to let his guard down here.

Holly put her hand on his cheek and he found himself leaning into her touch without thinking. She lifted a thermos to his lips with her other hand and encouraged him to drink. “It’s water. I’m just covering my bases here. Are you with me, Bernard?” He tried to speak but his voice was too weak. He nodded instead. “Okay, good. Have you eaten today?” He shook his head ‘no’.

“Okay, that’s a place to start then. I’ll get some food going.”

He tried to call out to her, tell her not to bother, but his voice was still gone. He dozed off within seconds.

“It’s not the tastiest, but it should have everything you need for your daily nutrition.”

He came back to himself with a start, Holly holding a spoonful of… something, near his face. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He shook his head at her apology. “Come on, let’s get some chow in you.” He wasn’t exactly thrilled to be eating the tasteless lumps of what she claimed was food, but he wasn’t exactly in a position to decline. His color started coming back to his face as she spooned him bite after bite. Eventually he was able to sit up and take the spoon to finish feeding himself.

“So that was terrifying.”

He looked up at her, now seated across the fire in another fold out chair she’d dragged out at some point while he was out of it. He swallowed the bite in his mouth and answered. “Sorry. Don’t know what happened.”

“Well you didn’t eat today, so that’s probably what happened.”

“I’ve skipped meals plenty of times before.”

“You said you hadn’t eaten at all today. When was the last time you ate something?”

He thought for a moment and realized he didn’t remember eating anything yesterday either. His stomach had been turning then too, so he decided to not bother. His thoughts must have showed on his face.

“Dude, you can’t just not eat! Of course you passed out!”

“I know, I know, I’ve just had a ton of work to do lately so I didn’t think about it.” He sighed in frustration. “It was careless of me.”

“Yeah, it was. Geez. You can’t just show up here and pass out, man. What the hell was I gonna do with your dead body if you’d keeled over?”

“Use me for firewood, I guess. Least I’d still be useful in death.”

She snorted at his dry remark. “Okay, funny, but dark. Let’s not seriously think about that one.”

They fell into silence for awhile, Bernard finishing his food while Holly tended the fire.

“So I’m guessing it wasn’t just the not eating that made you roll up here looking like a zombie. You said you’ve had a lot of work to do lately?”

“Yeah… my, uh, boss is away right now. He won’t be back til later in the year, so I have to take over his duties.”

“Dang, you should get a raise for that. Why’d he just dip?”

“He’s sort of a new hire. He’s gotta go through some, um, mandatory training away from the station. It’s complicated.”

“Sounds like it. Why don’t they just hire you for that position then if you’re already practically doing it?”

“I’m not quite the right fit for that role.”

“Whaaat? That’s bull. I bet they’re discriminating cause you’re young. I know that game and it’s so stupid. Just cause we’re younger doesn’t mean we don’t know what we’re doing, am I right?”

For some reason, this really tickled Bernard.

“What’s so funny? Its true, isn’t it? I bet you know how to run that station front to back. You’re obviously hardworking! I know your type, Saint Bernard. I bet you worked your ass off and earned your place there, right?”

He had a silly smile on his face, his eyes half lidded as he watched her rant and throw her arms around dramatically. “Yeah, I did, actually. I started as a dishwasher.”

“A dishwasher!” She exclaimed, pointing at him forcefully. “See! And now look where you are, you’re, uh, you’re—wait, what are you again?”

“I’m the Head E—uhm, hmm.” He coughed a bit into his fist. “The Head of Operations.”

“Wow, yeah, see now that sounds like a pretty important role right there!”

“It is, yeah. I’m basically in charge until the boss gets back. It’s a lot of pressure, though. Sometimes I miss when I worked in the kitchens.”

“You miss dishwashing?”

“Well, not that. But I was Head Chef for a while and that was pretty rewarding work.”

“You must really know your way around a kitchen then! I wish I had more than ration packs, or I’d ask you to prove it.”

He chuckled. “Maybe someday.”

“That’s a pretty strange leap though, from Head Chef to Head of Operations. What’s the story there?”

“Well, it honestly was just chance. I was good with my hands—“

Of course he was. She felt her ears turn pink.

“—and the old Head, Raj, had been watching me work in the kitchens all day. I’m not sure why I even caught his eye, to be honest. But at the end of the day, we got to talking. He asked if I thought I’d be able to make something for him. A music box for his wife. It had a lot of small delicate parts. There were others who were actual tinkerers that would have been better choices, but maybe Raj saw something in me? I’m not sure. Normally someone from my background wouldn’t have done that kind of work, not in those days at least. It was kind of unheard of. But I did it, I made it. It was silver and gold painted with a decorative wood frame I carved myself. His wife loved it. He gave me a few other minor projects to do and was impressed enough to make me his assistant.”

What kind of research station had chefs and tinkerers? Curiouser and curiouser, but now wasn't the time for interrogation.

“He sounds like a great guy.”

“He… was.” He lost himself in his thoughts. “We were quite close.”

“…I’m sorry. What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?” Bernard looked over at Holly and saw the sweetest, gentlest look on her face. Something in his chest unclenched at the sight of it.

“He traveled a lot. It used to be part of the job. But that aged him and he just got more and more worn down. By the time we realized, it was too late.” He stopped speaking abruptly, seeming unsure.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anymore. I’m so sorry, Bernard. That must have been so painful.”

“No, I’m sorry, Holly. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. I don’t mean to dump all this on you.”

“Hey, I’m the one who asked, remember? I don’t mind at all.” She smiled gently at him. “Thanks for telling me, Bernard.”

His stomach flipped but it was a pleasant sensation this time. “You didn’t ask for me to pass out on you, though. I should get out of your hair.”

“Yeah, right, like I’m letting you walk all the way back to your station when you still look like that.” He opened his mouth to refute her, but a big yawn escaped him instead. She snorted. “Look, I’ll give you a lift.”

“No, you can’t. Don’t worry about it, okay, I’ll be—“

“—if you say ‘fine’ one more time, I’m stealing your stupid hat.”

He gaped at her. “It’s not—you can’t, just—you think my hat is stupid?”

She giggled at his shocked face and shook her head. “It’s a beret, dummy. Why wear it pulled down like that? It looks sort of silly, y’know.”

He turned pink and averted his eyes. “Nevermind that. You still can’t drive me to my station. It’s against the rules.”

She blinked at him, unexpressed. “Okay, then you’re staying here and getting some rest.” He started to protest, but she cut him off. “I don’t wanna hear it! You can walk tomorrow if you want, but tonight you’re sleeping here with me.”

Both pairs of eyes widened when they realized what she’d said. “Uhh, wait no, not like that. Sorry, I mean, uh—”

“Nope, yep, I got it. Anyways. So your tent is big enough for us both?”

“Y-yeah! Should be.”

She arose and walked around the fire to reach him. “Up and at ‘em, Saint Bernard.” She said, pulling him by the hands into a standing position. He was still unsteady on his feet so she ducked under his arm and wrapped a firm hand on his waist, letting him lean into her. Together, they shuffled into the warm tent. Holly laid down an extra mat on her sheepskin rug and retrieved the blanket from the fireside, making up an impromptu bed for him. She helped him out of his cloak and scarf, noting the deep royal blue tunic he now wore. Apparently this was just his style. It suited him.

He insisted on keeping the hat on.

“Your ears will be sore in the morning!”

“Yeah, and your nose will be sore from sticking it in my business.”

A surprised giggled flew out of her at his snarky reply. “Alright, wise guy, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He settled down on the mat and pulled the blanket over his body.

“You aren’t going to disappear again, are you? If you’re gone when I wake up, I’m just gonna assume you’re face down in the snow out there somewhere.”

“I’ll be here.” His eyes were already slits. She smiled at his sleepy face fighting the inevitable. Her chest warmed at the way he’d curled up on his side, hands tucked under his chin. He looked incredibly cozy.

“I’ll be right back.” She whispered, just in case he could still hear her and grabbed her sleep clothes. She headed out to the sanitation tent she had set up a little ways from the main camp to change and do her business.

Bernard was fading fast, but he knew he should send a message to Curtis before he fell asleep. He looked at his snow globe watch and tried typing out his location, when he expected to be back at work, and instructions for Core production should he be delayed. He got about half way through when his vision suddenly went blurry. He tried spelling ‘Curtis’ but it kept coming out as ‘Cuties’. His hand dropped as he gave up and told himself he’d message first thing tomorrow.

By the time Holly came back, he was out like a light.

#bernard the elf #bernard x oc #tsc #the santa clause #my writing

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slowlystupendousdelusion · 29 days

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So apparently at some point I vomited an essay about my Macbeth feelings and left it lingering in my drafts for months?

So I guess here are my 3am Donmar Macbeth thoughts from a few months back now that I'm going to see it again (!)

(Err spoilers)

Not to be back on my Macbeth bullshit again

And as I said before I know nothing about acting to have a nuanced take on performances but I want to talk about the set. (I also have no credentials to talk about this, but I do have a lot of feelings about it?)

I just love so many of the choices made to the extent that I'm still thinking about it a lot. Macbeth was the first Shakespeare we did at school and a large part of what appealed to me aged 10 would be the supernatural aspects, mediaeval castles and battles, and so going in this production would have been almost the opposite of what I would have thought I'd want from a Macbeth set. Or at least what 10 year old me would want. (Also i will acknowledge that it would be hard to go full throttle historical epic in such an intimate theatre anyway)

But being pared back worked so well. The costumes! Nod to the Scottishness with the kilts but still modern. The monochromes pop against the white stage, so it is the movement of the actors that you focus on. Lady Macbeth's all white costume tying in with appearance Vs reality themes (Innocent flower / serpent under't) by subverting your expectations also maybe hinting at the general less Evil slant this production has for her. I read the interview with the set designer that said her difference in clothing was supposed to reflect her being an outsider as well - Lady Macbeth being the only non-Scottish cast member in this production and the thought process being that perhaps it was this that lead her to be less wed to the idea of the social hierarchy as it was. I'm not sure I picked that up when watching, but it was really interesting to hear about this thought process.

I also loved how the music in this production was traditional, tying the play back to Scotland, which could be harder to create a sense of in such a pared back set design.

The stage itself is so simple but the white works so well esp when viewed from higher up in the theatre. It means that the silhouettes of the actors are striking, particularly with the monochrome costumes, and the kilts creating a shape. The few props that are used also end up silhouetted across the stage which is just chef's kiss. (And to think you don't even see this from the expensive seats!)

Also a good proportion of the performance the actors are in the space around the stage block rather than on it - it's used in a very versatile way - you have the porter doing his stand up routine walking around it, you have it used as a table with the characters seated around it at a feast, you have it used as a balance beam for Fleance as he walks along a wall.

Soundproof panel at the back. The way the actors can be lit up or hidden and ugh. Again this is harder to see from the side seats but gives a haunting vibe when viewed head on. This is such a clever way of getting the feeling of unease into the stage production when the supernatural aspects aren't physical.

The lighting. It feels weird to gush about the lighting. But I will continue to gush about the lighting. Just switching from warm to cool with the supernatural/psychological component works so well. It just plays such a big part in the story telling and like you're not even that conscious that it's happening? And the red light for the witches final bit where we get buffeted around Macbeth's mind with him. Gah. Such a big part of the production and yet so understated

Lady Macbeth and her candle - with so few props it makes it so much more striking when they are used! Weird thing to say: but also how great are candles as things? The way the candle light reflects off Lady Macbeth is just ugh and I know this is just how candles work but I don't think we appreciate this enough. I guess a candle stick is a different vibe from like a Yankee candle in my living room but you know.

The beautiful light pouring through Dunsinane Wood at the end onto the stage.

The blood pack and the way it flows out onto the white stage and obviously it's different each night and isn't that beautiful that each closing scene is unique because of fluid dynamics

(My only thing with this is lying supine where the blood only ends up on Macbeth's back looks really inorganic somehow even though it's obv not. But like let the man get covered in blood on his front as well. Imagine the aesthetic)

Honestly I am so curious to see how they will adapt this for a bigger theatre. The Donmar is set up pretty uniquely (it's fairly vertical in terms of seating if thats the right word? Which is quite different from all the other theatres that I can think of in London) and some of the things that worked really well for me was aided by having that height. The stage itself was used variously as a table, a stepping stone etc in this production, so the compactness of that central block is sort of necessary for example in the feast scene. If the theatre has a more trad seating plan, viewing mainly from the front with a shallower vertical height, a lot of the intimacy will be lost. I'm excited to see what solutions they will put in place to try and keep the vibes in a different setting.

#do i need to spoiler tag for a 400 year old play?#stop blogging about the same damn play already #i just have a lot of feelings #macbeth did murder sleep cause i literally had to write these down in the middle of the night to get on with my life #should i be able to think of a better word than 'ugh' to convey my feelings? yes. can i? no.#embarrassingly earnest #donmar warehouse #macbeth #theatre

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denimbex1986 · 3 months

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'From Hamlet to the tenth and fourteenth incarnation of the Doctor, David Tennant’s stellar acting career has seen him excel in many a huge role, with his latest as host of the 2024 EE BAFTA Film Awards.

However, he now faces his biggest challenge to date: sitting in the hot seat for Attitude’s fabulosity test. How will he fare? Hint: he has some explosive Spice Girls insider info that will send fans into a spin.

What’s your go-to BAFTA red carpet look?

It’s nice to wear a kilt. And yes, I would wear it the traditional way.

Remember not to do any handstands. 5/5

What’s the juiciest BAFTA after-party gossip you have?

I don’t go to them. They’re too loud, and I can never remember anyone’s name.

We think you’re holding out on us. 2/5

What BAFTA category would you invent for yourself?

Best jumper.

Confirmed winner — his jumper is amazing. 5/5

Who’s the most famous person in your phonebook?

I have a former prime minister, but I can’t tell you which one for security reasons!

Swapping memes with a former PM? 4/5

If you had a TARDIS for one day, where would you go?

I’d go to the first performance of Hamlet at the Globe Theatre and figure out if anyone thought it was any good back then.

Do let us know. 3/5

Did you give Yasmin Finney any advice when you worked with her on Doctor Who?

I didn’t feel like I needed to. Yasmin is all over it. Yasmin is a force of nature. It was a joy to get to know her.

Potential Doctor material? 5/5

What’s a fact about Olivia Colman we may not know?

She’s entirely bald.

This explains so much. 3/5

Whose face should be on Scottish banknotes — Lulu’s, Susan Boyle’s, or Lawrence Chaney’s?

Just so it’s the most aesthetically pleasing, it should be Lawrence, though I’d love to see any of those three on any banknote, to be honest.

It’d be a shame to spend them. 5/5

How many Spice Girls have you met?

I met all of them before they were famous, when they were just called Spice. They came to my house. I knew the person who was doing the first draft of their movie. That person was later replaced, and somebody else wrote the movie, but they were hanging out because the movie was part of the original deal that they got with their record deal, so it was being developed before they even released a single.

This is exclusive material! 5/5

What did you all do? Did you play Jenga?

I think I just made tea. Geri was the most vocal, but they were all just sweet. I later saw the ‘Wannabe’ CD single in Our Price and went, ‘Hang on — that’s those five girls!’ I’ve told Sporty, Baby and Ginger this story, but none of them remember, so it obviously didn’t mean as much to them as it did to me!

But it means EVERYTHING to us. 5/5

Who deserves official national treasure status?

My wife. There’s nobody more extraordinary or able, capable, or wise. We’d all be up shit creek without a paddle without her.

Adorable 💗 4/5

What’s your idea of the perfect night?

Having a night off with a takeaway and something good on the telly. I saw the new Masked Singer recently, which was terribly exciting, with Dionne Warwick. It was amazing that she showed up — I thought she was dead!

Ms. Warwick will never die. 3/5

What would you sing if you were on the show?

My karaoke go-to was always ‘Common People’ by Pulp. I have a certain affinity with the Jarvis Cocker look and feel, so I think I could do that quite well.

We can see it. 3/5

Can you quote three lines from Mean Girls?

I’ve seen the musical, but I’ve never seen the movie, actually. Is that possible? I know it’s big in our house and our 12-year-old loves it and my wife loves it, but I saw the musical and it was great.

You’re missing out, David. 2/5

How many queer subcultures can you name?

I’ve heard of bears — that’s an old-school one, isn’t it? And ‘twinkies’? Oh, and daddy. Is that what I would be? I’m an ally, rather than an active participant.

‘Twinkie’ is now the official term. 3/5

David Tennant has never seen Mean Girls, but he’s a font of Spice Girls exclusives and is a Yasmin Finney superfan, so we can forgive anything.

Rating: 75% Attitude'

#David Tennant #Mean Girls #Doctor Who #Yasmin Finney #Olivia Colman #BAFTAs #Spice Girls

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kiltsale · 2 years

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Shop Tactical kilts with Confidence

When you consider camouflage, you picture the outdoors, particularly hunting or the military. Our shop's selection of tactical camo kilts provides you with the rugged, outdoorsy look of camo while also offering the same level of comfort as traditional kilts. To fit your tastes, these Tactical Camo Utility Kilts are available in various camouflage patterns. They contain side pockets and buckles, so you can use the utility kilt's practicality by storing essentials like watches, keys, and phones inside.

You can shop confidently knowing that each of our Tactical kilts is made to order and will fit you perfectly. Remember to provide your preferred waist, hip, fell, and kilt lengths when placing your order.

Additional aspects of a tactical model

The lightweight rip-stop cotton fabric used in all the hues is made to withstand the toughest jobs while preserving freedom of movement and comfort. Two side zip trouser pockets, a rear snap pocket, two detachable cargo pockets, waist band D rings, and four loops around the waist are additional characteristics of our tactical model. On the front apron Velcro patch, display the symbol of your team, tribe, or nation. Placing extra functionality, such as ammunition packs, cargo pockets, or anything else you can hook on, is a completely configurable Kiltsale.

How to Purchase a High-Quality Tactical Kilt!

The following advice is not scientific and can help you get a high-quality tactical utility kilt for yourself.

· Quality

Quality is always prioritized.

Never compromise the caliber of your kilt. Always inquire about the kilt's construction material. Typically, low-quality goods are offered on sites like eBay, Amazon, etc., for a very low price. ehHHH! The name of it is off-limits!

· Size

Another essential consideration is Size.

You must place an order for the appropriate Size. At Kilt & Jacks, we ask for the exact Size, and our operators can help you with sizing at any time.

Just a warning! I'll discuss a common method of sizing with you right now. Measure while being calm and still. See, it's so simple! The belly button serves as the common measurement point for the waist of the kilt, while the upper knee serves as the common measurement point for the length.

From which store should you buy tactical kilts?

By us!

I won't mince words. We are the best on the market and focus on quality and Size while charging the least amount of money. Therefore, if you want the best Tactical kilts, go with the best.

Faqs

What does a hybrid tactical kilt look like?

The fabric used to create hybrid tactical kilts is 100% cotton. It combines elements of contemporary style with Scottish culture. This kilt provides the wearer an army-like feeling and is made of camouflage cloth. At the back, it has box pleats with tartan fabric tucked inside. It is improved by having two removable cargo compartments on either side.

How do my tactical kilt accessories complement them?

The Tactical Kilt gives you the stamina you need for physical exercise and excursions. It also gives any activity a striking & magnificent appearance. Kilt accessories are thought to be necessary to complete your outfit.

Which additional items go best with tactical kilts?

The ideal kilt accessories

-Sporran: A medieval Highlander's wallet was the little bag that dangles immediately in front of his Tactical kilts. They come in various looks, from formal fur to casual leather.

Leave those ankle socks at the gym, kilt "hose" (socks). Tall socks that extend past your calf look great with kilts. Even great is a lovely cuff with flashes on top. Talking about...

-Flashes: These little fabric flaps protrude from the cuff of your kilt hose. Though flashes are just ornamental, they make a terrific final touch to your clothing.

Conclusion

Nothing is more alluring than a man wearing one of our tactical kilts. Please don't pass up the opportunity and pick us up with assurance.

Reference

#Tactical kilt #Great kilt

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hp-bodiceripper · 10 months

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WEEK 1 MASTERLIST

This week brought you sweeping world building, thrilling winged horse races, origami dresses, cottage core softness, topsy-turvy first dates, kilts, glittering robes, steamy photoshoots and only one bed.

We hope you are as delighted with the wonderful creations as we are. On behalf of the fest creators, thank you for all the kudos and comments and screaming in the tags. Keep 'em coming.

Posting will commence on Monday.

Here are all works from week one.

🎨 Art

Harry And Draco Wearing Kilts

(Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, G, digital art) Our favourite wizards, dressed in traditional Scottish attire.

reliand says about this: oh they're so handsome! Slowly_learning says about this: I really like the vibe in here! This makes my mind wander and think about how they ended up in kilts.

I Bloom Pink For You

(Narcissa Malfoy/Pansy Parkinson, M, craft) Pansy has been starved for love her whole life. All she needs is someone who will give her the approval she craves. An origami comic inspired by Schmem_14's fic.

lq_traintracks says about this: This is absolutely incredible! The origami is such a beautiful way to make the dresses! Schmem_14 says about this: Oh, you’ve outdone yourself this is beautiful. I am flabbergasted and so in love with this 😍

You Pierce My Soul

(Harry/Draco, M, digital art) Harry's eyes were on him almost as soon as Draco entered the ballroom. It was as if he'd been watching the door, and now Harry's eyes were wide and his mouth open.

Krethes says about this: This is so STUNNING! The richness of the textures and colors are just everything! RaenyDay says about this: The way you captured the materials and layers of Draco’s outfit?? Fantastic. Like he’s wrapped in a nebula. Harry’s tattoo and shirt pattern. chef’s kiss

🎵 Podfic

wasps and honey by swoons

(Hermione Granger/Narcissa Malfoy, M, 1 - 1,5 hours) After ten years on parole in the Muggle world, newly widowed Narcissa Black is finally allowed to do magic again — as long as she can complete all the spells on the Ministry course list. Her Ministry of Magic representative? Hermione Granger.

swoons says about this: Oh my god!!!! Your voice is so lovely in this askdjdhsjakdj you’ve given this story so much additional magic and care!!! I am incoherent!!!! !!!!!!! ChaoticSapphicWitch says about this: This is so good!!!! MY HEART!!!

🖋 Fic

collarbones like a bow, skin an arrow to the heart

(Pansy Parkinson/Ginny Weasley, E, 4k) Gin’s adjusting the lighting for their next shoot when in walks the new model Luna was so enthusiastic about, and that’s when they know they’re in deep shit.

TheGoblinMatriarch says about this: Oh my goodness goodness gracious this is very sultry and I love the absolute inevitability of the seduction even as Gin spends the whole time low-key resisting it! lagerlout says about this: This was SCORCHING! Obsessed with Gin in this. Would be absolutely powerless to resist them.

Cool About It

(Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, M, 16k) Harry is so excited for his first date with Draco. But what follows isn't so much a date as it is an all-night odyssey including a malevolent lift, a Gringotts heist, a Sleeping Curse, a trip to the kebab shop, a lack of dancing, a Muggle drug, a rooftop pool party, a black eye and, eventually, a sunrise over a Quidditch stadium.

stardanced says about this: What a roller-coaster of a night - hilarious and heart stopping in equal measure, I love everything about it! Thank you, such a brilliant read. getawayfox says about this: What a DELIGHT of a fic! First few lines in and I started grinning like a loon and I didn’t stop the whole time

this is how we become timeless

(Narcissa Malfoy/Lily Evans, T, 10k) Narcissa is in eternal servitude to the Dark Lord, bound by the tears of a burned-down phoenix. Lily belongs to the Order, bound by the tears of the same creature. They’re the only two people in the world in the position of time turners, tasked with teetering the outcome of the ongoing war into their respective side’s favor. They are light years away, yet they’ve never been closer.

nocturn says about this: I DEVOURED this. How incredibly beautifully you have woven their stories together!!! This feels just like the book, so stunningly written and intense and dreamy all at once! anon says about this: Such an interesting world you've created.

Wild Horses (couldn't drag me away)

(Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, E, 36k) Koi no Yokan (Japanese) - The feeling of excitement you get when you first meet someone and know that you will eventually fall in love with them. A more realistic version of ‘love at first sight’, it roughly translates to ‘premonition of love’. A story of magic, horses, magical horses, and two men who fight all odds to find their way to each other.

Angeeeelica says about this: Bro this is just * chef kiss * oflights says about this: The world-building was so simply and easily established and you made it look easy. And I absolutely adore the culture you built around magical horses; the historical setting worked so well.

Yesterday

(Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, T, 10k) Harry doesn’t intentionally kidnap Draco Malfoy. Really it’s debatable if you can even call it kidnapping but the git surely seems to think so.

QueeenieJinny says about this: I love the way this was structured, the back and forth kept it really engaging and interesting. Slowly_learning says about this: Loved the matchmaking house trope in here!

#drarry #cissamione #narlily #ginsy #pancissa #hpbodiceripper2023 #mod post

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onedeepdarknothing · 3 years

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i said scotlandnatural as a joke but... let me indulge for a second

sam and dean being born in aberdeen or somewhere like that so they have these lovely thick doric accent (google them lmao x) but when sam goes to university - probs edinburgh uni or MAYBE HE GOES DOWN SOUTH TO ENGLAND OMG - he loses his accent and dean is distraught

instead of the fbi they pretend to be in mi5 which just feeds into dean’s james bond fantasy

they wear kilts as often as possible dean especially he loves it

any really formal event they’re in full kilts and sporrans and everything ugh they would look so good (x this shit mhm) @https-castiel ur welcome

PURE SILVER KILT PINS SO THEY CAN KILL THINGS WITH THEM i am a genius man

okay there’s this place in edinburgh called camera obscura which is a fun museum thing that's all like optical illusions n stuff anyway they do a hunt there

fish n chip vans and deep fried mars bars instead of diners and burgers

they would defo have to travel to different countries a lot bc scotland’s so small they couldn't only be there they’d be in jail by now

also like people were saying about europenatural - everything here is so old! so many opportunities for things to be haunted!! castles and monuments and dodgy cobblestone alleys that are straight out of oliver twist ugh

but also normal suburbs and houses and high schools

sam and dean growing up living in council houses rather than motels

i feel like you’d have to flip it so all the non-americans in real one would have to be american in this version

just ripping the absolute piss out of their accents

all the time

crowley’s still english though cause it’s funny to make fun of the english

hogmanay!! and guy fawkes!! and burns night!! instead of thanksgiving and the fourth of july and that

instead of dean loving classic rock its those rock covers of traditional folk music yeah yeah yeah

dean loves haggis sam HATES is discuss

listen i dont find scottish accents sexy bc we just talk like this but castiel with a nice highland accent... im listening

sam would hate the english so much i know this bc im sam coded and i hate the english

also could bring up a really interesting thing about scotlands attitude to underage drinking and the fact that so many of us are like this is fine especially through a character like dean who clearly has a problem

sorry this is indecipherable i got rlly excited about this. not many things get set here and i love it here!! there’s so many fun things they could do pls start setting more things in scotland

also i do have a lot to say about dean’s whole masculinity thing cause it’s similar but also it’s SO DIFFERENT i have a lot to say about scottish!dean and his masculinity

#jenny shut up #i got rlly carried away but #scotlandnatural lets make it happen #europenatural #scotlandnatural

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fleurlibelle · 4 years

Photo

𝕸𝖊𝖊𝖙 𝕵𝖔𝖊𝖑 𝕸𝖈𝕭𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊

@geeky-simz | Bachelorette Challenge

Hey Meg,

I’m Joel McBride. By profession, I’m the Chief Master Sergeant of the Airforce (CMSAF) in Windenburg, originally I’m from Scotland, and I grew up in the countryside. Just sending this quickly ahead, I have no issues moving to the air force base at Magnolia Promenade. Well, what should I say about me? I’m a very ambitious man and achieved at a very young age the highest rank in the Airforce. Career is set in stone. Yes, I have a bucket list, and the next goal is to claim my lady. I’m a family man because I grew up in a big family. McBride’s are very fertile, twins are highly possible. I don’t have a twin for myself, sadly [or not “smirks”], but I have two brothers Owen and Declan, who are twins, and my sisters Addison and Pippa. I’m the oldest and a unique bean in the fam, I guess. [chuckles]. Did I mention that I’m the most handsome one in my fam? Fact.

It’s hard to copy me, you know. Of course, I know I’m handsome. Listen, I work hard for my looks: Swimming, cycling, hiking, and fitness, in general, is my thing. At some point, I also want to explore Japanese culture. Mount Komorebi is on my bucket list, too. I love to travel. Don’t worry if you can’t cook, I can cook up and bake something nice. So if you can’t make a good Ramen, how about we replace it with fresh Sushi? I’m better at Gourmet Cooking. Photography is an another passion of mine.

Some call me cocky or arrogant, but hey, I just know my value and the lady next to me? If she’s a smart bean, she will appreciate what I have to give. I call it, let's say: self-confidence. Aaah, and look, I don’t feel embarrassed at any time. This is an overrated feeling. I don’t have time to waste on such nonsense emotions. Maybe you would like me to mention that I’ve been told to be a great kisser? [smirks] But you can judge yourself, whenever you are ready.

Why Bachelorette? I’m ready to settle down, and I’m a very loyal soul once I have the lady next to me who is spontaneous and loves to explore the world a bit. Even with kids, my parents did that with us too. They are my role-model. Chicks out there are still not really willing to settle, but I am. Many judge me by my cover and say that I would be a player. I’m not that type of man. It’s not efficient and a waste of time to deal with too many flat characters. So I’m here, and I want to see how far I can get?

What do you think? Can I get a step closer to my dream and start maybe a fam with you, beautiful Meg?

If you are self-confident and if you know how to fire back? I’m in, I love that when women are confident enough to show off proud their man. Simply because I love to be proud of showing off my lady. If that feeling is mutual? I’m all yours, hun.

Oh, did I mention that I love to wear a kilt? Well, it’s a tradition in my country where I’m from. Don’t worry, babe! I’m a true man. Just wondering if you will be able to handle my confidence. As I’m blunt and honest, too. I don’t like lies. If something bothers you? Spill the beans into my face, and we will see if we can rock it together, okay?

Meg, Imagine me taking shots of you in your garden, amongst flowers, only to capture you as the most beautiful flower.

You like video games and sports? Damn lady, this is hot. Too bad, I have no clue about video games, but you can teach me, right? Trust me, in no time, I will beat you [laughs]. Are you up for a challenge? Now you know who you're dealing with. Can you tame and handle my manhood? Ready for the best time of your life? If yes, join me. *winks. And if we don’t make it? That’s life and we keep on moving, right?

Basics and personality-related must-know about Joel can be found undercut.

BASICS

age:32 | Gemini height: 6′3 Nationality: Scottish Parents: Mother: “Lauren McBride”, 50 yrs | Father: “Calum McBride”, 54 yrs. Both scottish. raised hometown: Windenburg current hometown: Windenburg Profession: Chief Master Sergeant of the Airforce

PERSONALITY

Traits: Ambitious, Self-Confident and Athletic Skills: Charisma 10 | Photography 5 | Fitness 9 | Baking 7 | Groumet Food 5 | Aspiration: Big Family Hidden Traits: Shameless | Gymrat | Observant | Morning Sim |Great Kisser | Fertile. Dreams: Having a big happy family like his parents. Retire soon and starting his own business as soon he earns 1 Billion Simoleons. What he wants to do? Well maybe a Photo-Studio? He saved already half a million, a hard workin’ man! Communication: Blunt, upfront, can be easily viewed as cocky and arrogant. Shameless, nope he won’t feel any embarrassment. “Whatever” that’s what he thinks and he moves on.

Loves

“Nature is wonderful, I love to inhale the air.”

“Nothing is better than fresh Orange Juice for breakfast, period”

“I love all sorts of music”

“Give me Sushi, Buffalo Chicken or Pizza and I’m a happy man [chuckles]

“In my free time, I’m mostly casual, yet I like it elegant.”

“Everything that is considered as masculine, I’m in”. I’m not gonna carry your bag, sorry, not sorry babe. [raises eyebrow]”

After I retire I would not mind to get some piercings. Lips? Eyebrows? Don’t know yet but because of my profession I can’t do this right now.

“I love to be the Alpha but don’t mind if my women is able to tame me at times [smiles]” You should be quick-witted, I’m not boring at all.

“I live by the quote “Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.”

Dislikes

“Oh prejudices, I don’t like to judge and be judged by the cover, simple as that.”

“Small-Minded People, aren’t they horrible?”

“ Raising voice when arguing. If you’re mad, talk to me, be furious, or angry but don’t raise your voice or use insults as a weapon and form of communication. I hate drama, and I will shut down and not talk to you until you realize this is not the right way of communication. I don’t need it. I understand if there is a conflict. Let’s find a solution to how we can solve it that we are both happy again. Or long-term, it won’t work with us. I was raised to respect and be respected. That’s what you really need to keep in mind if you want to argue with me [winks]”

I don’t smoke if you do, you better stop poisoning your lunges” I need a healthy lady.

Swimming poses are by wonderful @katverse Thank you so much! They are really cool. Other poses are by MOC.

Private Download, if chosen

#ts4 bc entry #ts4 bc challenge #geeky-simz #meghan soriano #joel mcbride #ts4 bachelor challenge #ts4 bachelor entry #i love this man #he is so fuckin' cool #true alpha

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olliepig · 3 years

Text

Hog-Malarkey part 2

The conclusion of @willow-salix and I’s not so short New Year fic for you all. Hope you enjoy it!

The first part (posted yesterday) can be found here

Or of you’d prefer, the full thing is available on AO3 here.

************

“TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN…” the assembled crowd chanted as they watched a large clock start counting down the seconds to midnight. The Tracy party had managed to stay huddled together as they were pushed and shoved from all sides as the crowd surged forwards like salmon swimming upstream, towards the doors that led to the courtyard outside.

“FOUR, THREE, TWO…”

“Gah,” Gordon yelped as someone trod on his foot and tried to remove him from the protective bosom of his family. He’d never admit it but he was pathetically grateful that Virgil had grabbed his hand and was refusing to let go.

“ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” the crowd screamed in unison, the loud cheering deafening to the ears. All around them couples embraced, indulging in many kisses for luck or hugging their neighbours. The two couples that were actually in attendance wasted no time in joining in, continuing the custom, their lips meeting as the air was filled with the noise of fireworks exploding overhead, painting the sky with colours.

“Happy New Year,” Scott murmured to Cat, holding her close for a moment longer before releasing her and turning to pull Alan into a hug.

Following the crowd they had found themselves out in the cold night air, staring up at what had previously been a rather dull sky. A breeze had picked up over the course of the evening, blowing the clouds away and leaving a perfect night for the celebrations that were going on around them.

Whichever way they looked, the sky was filled with colour, the explosions filling their field of vision as the shockwaves hit them in the chest, leaving them slightly breathless.

“Get me out of this crowd,” John hissed in Selene’s ear, nudging her to get her to move. Rolling her eyes, she took his hand and led the way, winding through the crowd, smacking at an errant hand that tried to pet his head again.

“Stop ruffling my husband!” she yelled at the innocent old man that had unfortunately stepped in front of the tiny scottish lady who had dared to touch the Tracy goods.

Dragging him away she found an enclosed little nook where they could still see the fireworks but were pretty much out of sight of the crowd and out of temptation range of anyone who wished to feel him up again.

“Thank you,” he sighed, dropping his head to her shoulder, tugging her into his arms. She wasn’t fooled, she knew he was using her as a human shield. The romance astounded her sometimes. “I was worried that they would succeed in their quest to rip a piece off me if we’d hung around there much longer.”

“It’s your own fault for being so good looking in your highland finery and possessing such a beautiful head of hair,” she answered, smoothing down said hair, attempting to finger comb it back into some semblance of its usual neatly swept style.

“Yes, how dare I wear clothes that were forced upon me and look semi decent in them, what a scoundrel I am.”

“Total scoundrel,” she agreed, kissing the tip of his nose.

“Lower.”

Selene lifted one eyebrow at his demanding tone. “Well, you do look really handsome tonight, so I suppose one little kiss couldn’t hurt.” Leaning in she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, smiling against them when his arms tightened around her waist, pulling her closer while backing up further into their corner.

“I think I neglected to tell you just how beautiful you look tonight.”

“Why, Mr Tracy, how scandalous, you really are a scoundrel of the highest order. And me, a sweet, young, innocent...stop laughing!”

“Sorry, let me make it up to you.”

Try as she might she couldn’t help the giggles that bubbled up inside her as he captured her lips again.

“Where’ve John and Selene gone?” Scott asked, realising that two of the group were conspicuous by their absence, his eyes sweeping the crowd in a vain bid to try and find them.

“I have no idea, but if they’ve ditched us then I think they’ve got the right idea,” replied Cat with a glint in her eye, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the crowd, keen to find a similarly secluded spot where she could get him to herself for the first time since they arrived.

As they rounded the corner, safely away from prying eyes, she felt a tug on her arm, stopping her in her tracks. Turning in surprise, Scott slammed into her, wrapping his arms around her as his warm lips found hers with an intensity that left her breathless.

“I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he grinned, pulling back to meet her eyes, the reflection of the fireworks making them seem to dance in the night. “Have you got any idea how good you look in that dress?”

“Probably about as good as you do in that kilt,” Cat shot back with a smile, reaching up to kiss him again, more gently this time, pressing herself against him as she savoured the moment of calm that they had managed to find in amongst the craziness of the night.

“Touche,” Scott laughed, kissing her forehead before spinning her round and pulling her into his chest, his arms wrapped securely around her waist again as they quietly watched the fireworks high above them, enjoying the sensation of her fingers intertwining with his own.

***

“Remind me again why we came with couples?” Gordon groused as a quick head count revealed that their party was missing four members.

“Because you invited us?” Virgil shrugged, unconcerned by his missing brothers. They were adults and generally the most sensible ones he possessed, so he wasn’t that inclined to worry.

“They always do this, sneak off like that, every time we go somewhere,” Alan said, joining in with the bitching.

“They’ll be back soon enough,” Virgil soothed. “And frankly, I’d rather they sneaked off than putting on a display in front of everyone every time.”

“Ugh, yeah,” Alan said, pulling a face. “Nobody needs to see that.”

“Nobody needs to see what?” Scott asked, reappearing behind them, his arm securely around Cat.

“Nothing,” Alan replied quickly, hoping that the blush that he could feel creeping up his neck wasn’t visible in the dark.

“What now?” Gordon asked as the last firework exploded in the sky with a deafening bang.

“Back inside I guess,” Virgil shrugged, watching as the other guests filed back into the hall, their voices seeming muffled in his ears after the assault that the noise of the fireworks had waged on them.

“Seems as good an idea as any,” Selene agreed, materialising with John. “It’s bloody freezing out here so I’m going in even if you lot want to stay behind.”

Back in the hall, the group were mystified to find that instead of returning to their tables, the guests had formed a large circle around the dancefloor.

“Please tell me this isn’t some kind of dance?” John whispered to Selene, clinging tighter to her like she could anchor him to the spot, his eyes darting here and there like he expected a stampede of old ladies to rampage towards him intent on grabbing any piece of him they could reach.

Selene patted his arm where it was hooked around her waist, lacing their fingers for extra support.

“I don’t think it’s a dance,” Cat said, watching the proceedings.

All around the circle people reached out to take the hand of the person next to them.

“No idea,” Cat shrugged but joined in anyway, moving into the gap that someone made for them. Seeing the opportunity, Selene dragged John in too, who glared at the others until they too, admitted defeat.

The sound of bagpipes starting made them all jump but the familiar tune soon made the girls realise exactly what was going on and they joined in, singing along as best they could, stumbling over the slightly unfamiliar version of the lyrics as their arms were swung to and fro, forward and backwards in time to the music.

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And auld lang syne!”

Even though they were used to the English version rather than the original and more traditional Scottish, it was still comforting and familiar enough to make them smile and, when they accidentally slipped into the English and the Scottish man next to Scott still smiled at them, they relaxed and simply enjoyed. This wasn’t about getting the words perfect, it was about the celebration, the keeping of a tradition that spanned centuries.

“For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne,

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet

For auld lang syne.”

Guests all around the circle moved as one, letting go of the hands they were holding to cross their arms in front of them.

“And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,

And gie's a hand o' thine.”

“What are they doing?” Scott asked quietly, turning to Cat and Selene only to find them grinning. Cat offered her right hand to him, while Selene accepted her left. Scott slipped his hand into her’s, finding his free hand being grabbed by a happy looking drunk man beside him.

“And we'll tak a right gude willie waught

For auld lang syne!”

Selene flapped her left hand at John who groaned, knowing he’d never get away with escaping now. Not having a clue what he was doing he copied her moves, crossing his arms and taking her offered left hand in his right, leaving his left hand free for the next participant, who happened to be Alan.

Scott, seeing what was going on, took the hint and joined in on Cat’s other side, catching her hand,

“I still have no clue what is going on,” Alan complained as Virgil’s meaty hand engulfed his own.

“It’s Auld Lang Syne,” Cat told him.

“It’s what now?”

“Auld Lang Syne,” Selene repeated, joining in the conversation. “Watch and learn, try to keep up.”

“For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.”

“Why is everything so weird here?” Alan whispered to Gordon, leaning over Virgil to do so.

“Hey! It’s not weird, it’s tradition!” Selene shot back, rolling her eyes at Cat. “We’re in love with uncultured swines.”

“We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet

For auld lang syne.”

“Excuse me, in my defense, I didn’t insult it,” John pointed out as Selene and Alan enthusiastically bounced his arms up and down.

“Me neither, so unless you’re in love with someone else, I think you owe us an apology,” Scott grinned, obviously thinking he had won that argument. Little did he know.

“Sorry to break it to you,” Cat deadpanned, keeping her face perfectly straight. “But you had to find out some time, didn’t he Virgil?”

“For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne,” Selene sang loudly, acting as if she’d heard nothing.

“What?” spluttered the innocent engineer, having been so busy trying to keep up with Alan’s arm bouncing and the song words he’d lost the thread of the conversation.

“We'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne,” Cat sang along with Selene, ignoring the wheezing laughter coming from Gordon and Alan and John’s soft chuckle.

A loud cheer went up as the music came to its end and everyone let go of their neighbours hands

The girls cracked up laughing, unable to keep a straight face any longer, one look at Scott’s indignant scowl breaking their control.

"That was mean,” Scott scolded Cat, trying to stay serious as the girls howled, collapsing into each other's arms, each holding the other up as they laughed hard.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Scott huffed but his lips twitched once, twice and then he cracked.

“Come on, trouble maker,” John hauled Selene away from Cat as the band started a lively song, sacrificing himself in aid of his brother by sweeping her into his arms for a dance.

“That seems like a good idea,” Cat grinned, knowing he couldn’t stay mad at her as she looped her arms around his neck and pecked a kiss on his cheek.

***

“My feet hurt,” Selene whined, lifting one leg and dropping her foot into John’s lap so he could help her.

“You were the one that kept wanting to dance,” John pointed out helpfully, receiving a scowl for his troubles as he unbuckled the thin strap of her shoe and slipped it off, holding out his hand for her other foot.

“It was a party, there was music and drinks and that leads to dancing,” Cat added, coming to her friend’s defence as she returned from the bedroom having retrieved the remains of the champagne from earlier. “Nightcap?”

It had been a tired but happy (and slightly tipsy) party that had wound their way back to the hotel with various degrees of stability, some far more steady on their feet than others. They had collapsed the moment they entered the shared lounge, commandeering every couch and chair available.

Maybe the nightcap had been a bad idea, because although everyone was what Selene called physically tired, they weren’t mentally tired, which led to them helping to polish off the champagne (and a few other drinkables that the minibar provided) and chatting for a few more hours. And so it was rather late, or early depending on how you look at it, when they eventually fell into bed and slept the dreamless sleep of the inebriated.

That inebriation didn’t partner well with a loud knocking that shook the suite door at an hour that none of them cared to be awake to see. Five bedroom doors cracked open and heads poked out to see what the noise was about but nobody was willing to move further, each looking at each other in confusion before focusing on Scott until he took the hint and answered the call.

“Yes?” he croaked as he opened the door, eyeing the smartly dressed member of staff on the other side with suspicion. The world seemed to be spinning quicker than he was used to, and, although he would never admit it, his hand resting on the doorframe was only there partially out of habit.

“Lady Creighton-Ward left instructions for you to be woken in good time for the event this morning, and to that end, I am here with your breakfast,” the concierge informed him, indicating a trolley behind him piled with covered platters.

“OK…” replied a bemused Scott, moving out of the way to allow the man entry, his eyes tracking his every movement as he placed plate after plate of food onto the table, the smell making him feel slightly queasy.

“Does anyone have any idea what event he’s talking about?” Alan asked once they were alone again, piling bacon and sausages onto his plate.

“Nope,” Virgil replied, eyeing the food with suspicion before settling on a large cup of coffee instead. “Gordon? Any ideas?”

“Oh, it might be that swimming thing Penny mentioned?” Gordon mused, trying to get his brain to focus on a half remembered conversation from several weeks before.

“Mmmf?” questioned John, his eyes barely open as he made his way gingerly across the room. Taking a seat at the table, he reached for the coffee pot, pouring himself a large cup and cradling it in his hands as he waited for it to cool.

“Yeah, she said there’s some sort of tradition to go for a morning swim on New Year’s Day to clear the hangover,” Gordon continued, feeling more confident now his brain had woken up a little bit.

Scott’s stomach lurched at the thought of bobbing around in a swimming pool. “I think I might give that one a miss this morning, Gords,” he shuddered, reaching for a glass of water to settle the nausea that rolled over him.

“Nnnngh,” groaned John, shoving his coffee aside and resting his forehead on the table.

“I think that means John’s out too,” Alan helpfully translated, taking in John’s now nearly translucent form. “I’m up for it though. Virgil?”

The engineer swirled his remaining coffee in his mug, considering his options carefully. “I’m in,” he eventually declared, the thought of plunging into cool water seeming strangely appealing to him.

John groaned again, shuddering like he was in the last throes of death.

“Alan,” Scott whispered, not wanting to speak louder now that his headache was catching up with him. “Get Sel, will you? I think he needs to go back to bed.”

Alan, as the only mostly sober, bright eyed and bushy tailed one of the five, set his full plate down on the table beside John’s head and jumped up, ignoring the gagging noise that came from his brother when the smell of sausages wafted up his nose.

“SEL!” Alan yelled in through the open bedroom door.

Virgil groaned as the noise drilled into his aching brain. “We could have done that, can you try to be a bit quieter?”

“Oh, sure, sorry,” Alan winced, realising that his usual volume probably wasn’t the best option. Snagging a cushion off a chair he took careful aim and threw it at the bed, hitting Selene on the head. “Score!”

A muffled string of curse words floated out of the bedroom, but the sound of rustling sheets and creaking springs announced the arrival of the witch.

“Sup?” she muttered, rubbing her eyes, smearing a little mascara around that she’d neglected to take off the night before.

“John’s dead,” Alan shrugged, going back to his plate, apparently unconcerned by his expired brother.

John lifted a hand weakly, extending his middle finger to point at his brother.

“He seems fine to me,” Selene commented, stealing John’s coffee and taking a sip. Putting the cup down again she lifted her man’s head and pushed on his shoulders to return him to an upright position, holding the cup to his lips. “Babe? Ya good?”

“Such sympathy from my loving wife and family,” he groaned, but took the cup from her and scooted back from the table enough to allow her to perch on his lap. Hotel rooms never had enough chairs.

“At least your loving wife is here and looking after you,” Scott groused, glancing to his bedroom door that remained resolutely closed. “My girlfriend hasn’t even gotten out of bed to see if I’m still breathing. Last she knew there was someone pounding on the door. I could have been kidnapped,” he finished melodramatically to snorts of laughter from Selene.

“That wouldn’t happen,” John assured him, “no one would be stupid enough to want you.”

“Oi,” Cat exclaimed, appearing from the bedroom with perfect timing, wrapping her arms around Scott and leaning over his shoulder to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Are you calling me stupid?”

“More misguided.”

“Fair enough,” she shrugged, picking up a sausage from the platter on the table and taking a bite before continuing. “And you’re at least partially right. Someone might kidnap him but they’d definitely bring him back again.”

“And I thought you were on my side,” Scott protested, clutching his heart. “You wound me.”

“Oh shut up and drink your coffee, you big idiot,” Cat told him, pouring two mugs and pushing one over to him before taking another bite of her sausage..

“I’d keep you,” Selene promised him. “You always sniff out the best snack in any location, you’re a useful asset to have on the team.”

“Can we please stop talking about food!” John yelled, dropping his head back into his hands.

“If no one but Alan wanted food, why did you guys order it?” Selene asked, snagging a slice of toast and laying a piece of bacon on it before folding it in half.

“We didn’t,” Scott replied, tentatively taking a sip of coffee. “It just arrived with instructions that we have to be up for some event this morning.”

Cat and Selene exchanged slightly guilty looks, unable to keep the smiles off their faces.

“What’re you two looking at each other like that for?” Virgil demanded, instantly on alert.

“Us?” Selene squeaked innocently. “No reason, why would there be a reason?”

“There’s always a reason,” John replied, watching them both carefully. “What do you know that we don’t?”

“How much I love you?” she answered, fluttering her eyelashes at John.

“Bullshit,” Scott cut in, totally unconvinced at Selene’s attempts at diversion. “Cat? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she squirmed, suddenly finding her coffee very interesting.

“C’mon sweetheart,” Scott pressed, standing and gently running his hand around the small of her back, pulling him into him before kissing her neck where he knew would make her powerless to resist. “Whatever it is, you can tell us.”

Selene rolled her eyes, knowing her partner in crime was lost to her now. Weak ass ballerina.

Sending Selene a look preemptively asking for forgiveness, Cat crumbled. “It’s a costume thing,” she mumbled, hanging her head in shame at how easily she had been bought.

“Nope!” John said, refusing immediately.

“Absolutely not,” Scott agreed as he shook his head firmly, promptly regretting it as his brain seemed to slam against the inside of his skull.

“Costumes? Cool,” Gordon exclaimed, even more enthusiastic for the swim now. “Did you bring them with you?” “What do I get to be?” chimed in Alan, jumping up and eyeing up the door to Cat and Scott’s bedroom as if the costumes might magically appear. "Maybe a superhero."

John’s arms were wrapped around Selene’s waist, holding her on his lap, his head resting on her shoulder, and if the soft snoring was any indication, he wasn’t planning on moving any time soon.

“I think you’re gonna have to do it without him,” she told Gordon.

“Rubbish, it’ll do him good,” Gordon poked his sleepy brother until he roused himself enough to slap his hand away. “Anyway, he’s not really asleep. He’s just pretending because he’s too scared I’ll look better in a costume than him.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Virgil replied doubtfully, stifling a yawn of his own. “He does look pretty tired.”

“Are you besmirching my husband's honour?”

“Oh, big word for so early in the morning,” Scott grinned, needling her just a little bit more, just because he could.

“John,” Selene nudged her almost comatose space man. “All your brothers are picking on us, can I curse them?”

“Sure,” he mumbled. “Just do it quietly.”

“Aren’t you even going to ask what they did to deserve it?”

“Nope, I trust your judgement.”

“You’re going to let your wife fight your battles for you?” Gordon teased.

“Yes.”

“Well, there’s no shame in that, is there, Scott?” Cat asked.

“Sure there is. He’s just being a wimp.”

“What is your problem today?” John growled, lifting his head to shoot a squinty eyed glare at Scott.

“It’s just a little swim in a costume and you’re wimping out.”

“I don’t see you agreeing to it.”

“Fine! I’ll do it, there, happy?”

“Fine.”

“God, you men are ridiculous,” Cat groaned, looking at Selene for support, who simply shrugged, more than used to it.

***

“Just a little swim, he said,” Scott hissed, glaring at Gordon.

“Costumes are cool, he said,” John joined in, appearing to have forgotten that Scott was mostly the reason he was there in favour of throwing his own glare at Alan.

Selene and Cat wrapped themselves up tighter in the blanket they were sharing, watching their menfolk as they stood shivering on the riverside, dressed in costumes that they would never have chosen even if they had a gun to their heads.

“Well, I hate to say it, but I’m not sure Scott has the legs for that tutu,” Selene whispered to Cat.

“Don’t tell him I agreed with you,” Cat laughed, pulling Virgil’s jacket closer around herself under the blanket, shivering against the cold breeze that whipped around them, finding its way into every gap.

“Do you think mine looks better in that dress than I do? It’s kinda hard to breathe in a corset at the best of times but, and call me biased, I think he makes a pretty sexy witch.”

“He is looking good, I’ll give you that one. Although he’s not quite got the cleavage for the top,” Cat agreed, casting a critical eye over John.

“He's got the thigh muscles to keep him locked to a broom, though.”

“Come on, guys, it’s not that bad,” Gordon could be heard defending himself. “Look at my tail!”

“I have no idea how he can even stand up in that, let alone walk,” Cat whispered to Selene.

“Describing what he’s doing as walking might be pushing it to be honest,” Selene laughed, watching as Gordon waddled towards the crowd, his mermaids tail glinting in the sunlight.

“I’m too hot,” Alan complained, pushing back the hood of his teddy bear onesie.

“Wait until you’re freezing cold and waterlogged,” John sniffed. "Then you won't be complaining."

“I’m OK at the moment,” Virgil added with a shrug, his bulkier frame apparently throwing off more body heat than his more slender brothers, even though he was wearing nothing but denim hot pants and a knotted plaid crop top.

“This is so scratchy,” Scott complained to Cat, fiddling with the underside of his tutu. “How the hell do you wear these all the time?”

“Well, it’s not my fault you wouldn’t wear the tights,” Cat shrugged, totally unconcerned at his discomfort. “I did warn you.”

“This boning is flattening my lungs.”

“That’s because you have a manly chest, my love,” Selene called back to John, pouring herself a cup of hot chocolate from one of the flasks the hotel had provided along with toweling robes and sweatpants.

“You’d better get going, everyone’s lining up ready to go,” Cat said, giving Scott a shove towards the water, choosing to ignore the look of betrayal that he shot her. “Can’t let Gordon get in ahead of you in the line and beat you into the water now, can you?” she added with a glint in her eye.

“I knew I’d lose something delicate to frostbite by the end of this trip,” John muttered darkly as he begrudgingly accepted a small kiss for luck from Selene then, like a man going to the gallows, he moved to join his brothers.

Cat and Selene stood guarding the pile of belongings, staying a safe distance away from the water and crowds, just in case anyone decided they might require a dunking. They had both learned from experience that you could never be too careful.

The crowd was huge, they guessed somewhere in the region of three hundred people participating and an even bigger crowd watching, ready to cheer and offer moral support.

“Think they’ll hate us after this?” Selene whispered to Cat.

“To be honest, I think they hate us already,” Cat murmured, catching sight of the baleful looks Scott was still throwing her way.

“Guess we’ll just have to make it up to them with lots of hugs and warm things.”

“I’ve heard worse ideas,” Cat giggled.

“The sacrifices we make for these boys.”

“It’s a very hard thing, but someone’s gotta do it,” Cat mused, before realising what she’d said and exploding in laughter.

Selene snorted in response. “With that amount of cold water? I doubt we’ll ever see a boner again.”

“That would be sad. We’ll just need to make sure we get them nice and warm later, won't we?”

“Again with the sacrifices, what do they do for us, huh?”

“They get nice and warm…” Cat tailed off with a shrug.

“You do realise that our flight clearance is in an hour? So we’ll have to deal with cold, wet boys all the way back to the island before we can look after them properly?”

“Fuck. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“We must remain strong,” Selene started, only to be interrupted as the crowd began to chant a countdown. On the final word the crowd moved as one, surging forwards, dragging the unwilling members of the Tracy crew along with them.

The girls heard an almighty splashing, immediately followed by screams and curses as the cold water hit the swimmers hard.

“Welp,” Selene sighed, popping the ‘p’ “Happy New Year.”

“And to you.” Cat risked the invasion of the cold as she pulled Selene into a one armed hug. “Who knows what this year will bring, but here’s hoping it won’t be anywhere near as weird as this.”

“It’s a weird family, but you get used to them,” Selene laughed, hugging her back. “And as for what it’ll bring, you can never tell, so I guess we just have to wait and see.”

The girls watched as their drenched boys struggled their way out of the water, gasping for air, cursing under their breath. Selene shrugged as she grabbed a robe ready for Gordon who was the first one out. As weirdness went, this was pretty low down the scale, but she didn’t want to tempt fate.

#hogmanay #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Scott Tracy #John Tracy #Virgil Tracy #alan tracy #Gordon Tracy #selene tempest #Catriona George #happy new year

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