#torn into pieces can't deny i can't pretend
Note
I want to see Jake cheats on neytiri with Y/N!😩😩 And Y/N tries to escape from Jake and telling him that “YOU HAVE A WIFE AND CHILDREN” Y/N as always scared of him 😱 but Jake doesn’t care, he doesn’t care if he cheats on his wife, he will get what he wants and he wants y/n... Hi how are you?! This is what I imagine him doing everyday and I couldn’t stop thinking about it sooo Also sorry to bother you!! 🙇🏽♀️🙇🏽♀️🙇🏽♀️
First and foremost, BABY YOU NEVER BOTHER ME!!! Ilyyyy!! Don't be afraid to request/comment/dm, etc.! You'll NEVER bother me angel!!
Also, I'm good, how are you???
😩😩😩 the conflict I would have ab this but also omgggg I could def not leave him 🤭🤭🤭
The reason you'd originally caught Jake's attention had been because you were always so attentive. Always so kind to him—so kind to everyone. It just made something in him soft and warm.
And he wanted you. And he couldn't let you go.
The first time he'd fucked you, he'd excused it as a thoughtless act, a stupid little thing, a bump in the road. But then he'd made the same mistake again and again and again. And you couldn't seem to deny him, which made it all the more easier for Jake.
Eventually, though, you became guilty. Always guilty, wanting Jake but afraid of his family, of ruining that for him.
And one day, you finally worked up the courage to talk to him.
You meet at your designated place, deep in the forest, far away from the others. When Jake shows up, he smirks at you, but you shake your head, alerting him that something's up.
“Jake,” you start, sighing, “I-I can't do this anymore.”
Jake frowns. “What d'you mean, baby?”
You exhale sharply, exasperated. “Jake, you're married. You have kids. And I...I mean, I'm just your sidepiece. I'm getting in the way of your marriage, I'm breaking a home, and I...I can't do this.”
Jake chuckles softly. “You're just scared, baby. It'll be fine. We're fine—”
“Jake!” you snap. “We're not fine. You're married and you have four kids. You have an entire life aside from me, and I don't fit in. I'm destroying your happiness, and I can't—”
“You're not destroying anything, baby,” he tells you, grabbing your hands in his. “I love you.”
You shake your head, trying to push his words away, trying to pretend you don't feel the same. “You can't.”
“I need you,” Jake tells you, his eyes begging you to not do this. “I want you, girl. You're mine, and I can't be without you.”
You shake your head again, tears forming in your eyes. “We can't,” you insist, whispering the words as they shatter your heart into pieces.
Jake grabs your face in his hands. “You're mine, and I'm not letting you go, not giving you up, you hear me? No one has to find out. Things are going great for us, honey.”
You try to pull away from him, torn between doing what's right and doing what you want to do. It's your mind versus your heart, the logical versus the emotional. And your heart...you can feel it breaking, can feel it tearing itself into shreds, but you have to let go of Jake.
“Jake, it's wrong...”
“I don't care if it's wrong,” Jake tells you. “I love you. And I can't lose you.”
“But Neytiri, and the kids...,” you murmur, hesitant.
“They don't know, and they don't have to,” he says. “Just forget it, baby. Just stay with me.”
You meet Jake's eyes and you already know you're not going to do what's right.
You let him kiss you, let his hands move down to your waist, let him undo your loincloth and your top. He has you bare, undresses himself, and then he's on you, leading you to the ground.
And as he kisses you, as his hand wanders between your thighs to softly caress you cunt, you can't help but think of Neytiri, of the children...
Tears form in the corners of your eyes. You know this is wrong, but you can't bring yourself to let him go, can't lose him. The battle of emotions and thoughts within you is too much; it spills tears from your eyes. You grab Jake's face in your hands and pull him to you, kissing him, hoping he can drown out this collision of feelings.
Jake can feel your tears, he can taste their saltiness, and he's gentle with you, loving, soft in the way he works you open, his hands sliding into your cunt, curling upwards.
You moan softly, legs spreading wider, mouth kissing Jake's with more passion. You need him to deaden the conflict within you, need him to make it all disappear.
Jake rubs the thick head of his cock between your folds before slowly pushing into you. You arch your back, arms wrapping around his neck.
“I love you,” Jake repeats, kissing your lips softly. “I love you and I need you.”
You sniffle quietly, holding onto Jake as he thrusts into you. “I know,” you tell him between silent sobs. “I know.”
Jake can feel your pain, can feel your fear. It emanates in your scent, an entity that scratches its way into Jake's lungs and makes his heart crack.
He loves you. He knows he shouldn't, he knows he should stay away, but he just loves you so much.
His thrusts are slow and measured, careful with the way he fucks you. And it's too much love, too much pain, too much everything.
You cry through it, tears mixing with the pleasure as you gasp, shaking, your body delighted to have Jake inside. He kisses you carefully, his hands caressing your skin, his thrusts loving.
You moan softly, quietly, as your pleasure fills you, making you see stars. Through the tears, you gasp and tremble, hips jerking up to meet his.
“Fuck,” Jake groans, his cock bruising your cervix, his pleasure overwhelming.
“Please,” you beg between tears. “Please, make me come.”
Jake angles his hips up, allowing his cock to drag against your g-spot and making you gasp, shake, as you feel your pleasure grow within you.
“'s so good!” you cry. “So good! Fuck!”
And then your orgasm is upon you, unloading its weight onto your body, breaking you apart in its intensity. You whimper, shaking, as you come on Jake's cock.
And then Jake's coming inside you, filling you with his thick load, spurting the hot, sticky release into your raw cunt.
And then you're sobbing again, shoulders shaking with each heaving breath of pain and guilt and torn emotions.
“I'm sorry,” Jake tells you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He knows how difficult this is for you, how it breaks you, the idea of him having a family and you just being on the sidelines. “I'm sorry.” But he cannot let you go.
You shake your head. “'s not your fault,” you say. “It's not.”
“And it's not yours, either,” Jake tells you. “Don't blame yourself for this, baby.”
You sniffle quietly but don't reply.
Jake pulls out of you and lies beside you, holding you in his arms, kissing your skin, worshiping your body as you sob and cry.
You'd always heard that love hurts, you just never thought it would be true.
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I am not going to lie to any of you, this got way angstier than I thought it would 😭😭😭 I'm breaking my own heart here
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@kamcrazy123 @yagirlheree @sweetllamaparadise
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Blog masterlist
#jake sully angst#jake sully smut#jake sully x reader#avatar smut#avatar jake sully#avatar angst#my inbox is open#inbox requests#flood my inbox#inbox#spam my inbox#inbox <3
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here i am once again (torn into pieces can't deny it can't pretend)
officially moving this bad boy back until friday. i keep trying to pull all-nighters to finish it off and it's just not happening (probably because my body is like hey...so....what if we didn't deprive ourselves of sleep to finish a fanfiction that everyone is being so patient for and kind over anyway, ya weirdo). if it gets finished before then and goes up before friday, yay! but we're in the final, final stretch, and i know that if i allow myself a little bit of wiggle room, i'll like. actually get it done lol.
for the millionth time, thank you for your patience, kindness, love, etc. i have seen your comments and appreciate them immensely :')
we'll share updates within the next coming days. for now, see you on friday - for real lol <3
#when i tell you i am SO EMBARRASSED to keep saying a posting time and then pushing it back lmfao#this chapter is kicking my ass fr. i have maybe 2k left and some editing. but i do think it will be worth it when it goes up :)#sorry for being the worst.#<- this is all in good fun i'm good y'all i promise
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Love You To The ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆ 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 (And To *ੈ✩‧₊˚𝓢𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷)
so i saw this post by @never-enough-novels, and aneesha was looking over my shoulder like "cass, you should totally write for that)
so obviously, i did.
aneesha, ye aapke lie hai (don't judge i used google translate)
also, i know i have fics left. but no one said i can't write a oneshot for my best friend <33
Grayson Hawthorne x Desi!reader (but can also be read as just a reader)
"Do you really have to go?" Grayson asks you, his hands around your waist. You blow a stray lock of your hair off your face, looking at his silver-gray eyes in the mirror.
"I don't really have a choice, jaan."
He scoffs. "They advanced your meeting, love. You don't have to bow to them, or be a people pleaser."
He shifts, and while he keeps one arm on your waist, his body is next to yours instead of behind.
Your kohl-lined eyes widen as your look at him in the eyes. His hair is still ruffled from last night and you can see his (previously neatly pressed) shirt now all ruffled.
Then you raise your hand, filled with bracelets and promise rings, and lay it on his cheek.
He leans into your touch as though it is the only thing grounding him.
He has ways of making you feel special.
"As much as I would like to deny being a people pleaser, I was raised like that. To be the least comfortable person in the room. Best to make everyone happy before I'm happy, right? And Gray," you laugh, a small laugh that lasted all of two seconds, "that's my company. I can't show up late for my own meeting, can I?"
"No one will say anything if you're late for your own meeting, jaan."
Your breath catches.
It's not like it's the first time he's ever used that endearment with you. He's used countless others, too.
But every single time he calls you jaan, you melt. Oh, he loves you, and you love him.
"Only because you'd pull some strings, Gray."
"How good of a fiancé would I be if I didn't want to spend time with my future bride?"
Your lips near his ears, and you whisper, "we spent enough time together last night. Enough that my ancestors are rolling in their graves at the amount of" you gasp, a small, theatrical gasp "time we spent."
Then you pull away, and pretend to ignore his blushing face.
That man was stuck in the regency.
You adjust your scarf, and make sure your earrings are straight before you walk to the dressing table and collect your bag.
Another gift.
He walks to you, and his arms are around your waist again.
You'd noticed that physical touch was his love language. And you liked touch.
"At least give me a kiss before you leave." He says.
Years ago, this wasn't the Grayson Hawthorne you'd met. That man was cold and closed off and never seemed to care.
Then he met you, and you met him. What started as a fake arrangement led to something oh so real that you couldn't even fathom not meeting him in his office to repay that loan your father had taken from his grandfather.
His lips are now near yours, and right before they touch, he stops.
Another thing he always did was ask before he kissed you. Even after years, he asked.
He always asked.
"May I?" He whispered.
"Always." You whisper back, and your lips meet in the middle in a perfect fit.
Like you were always meant to be together.
Like the two of you were two parts of one heart. The two of you'd met with your hearts broken, but they'd broken in perfect pieces.
The broken, shattered piece of his heart fit flawlessly with your torn and splintered one.
The two of you pulled away, and a bit of your lipstick was on his lips, and smudged on yours.
"I love you, you know that, right?" He whispers when your foreheads touch. This moment was tailored just for the two of you.
"Yes. And I love you more."
"Impossible."
"I love you to the moon and back."
You can practically hear his lips quirk up. "I love you to the moon and to Saturn."
"Do you, now?"
"You dare to question the amount of love I have for you?"
You laugh, and you see how his face lights up. "Oh, I don't dare to question you. You're almost always right."
"Almost?"
"Fine, fine, jaan. You're always right."
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🌀 "HERE I AM! ONCE AGAIN! I'M TORN INTO PIECES!"
"CAN'T DENY IT, CAN'T PRETEND! JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE!"
"BROKEN UP! DEEP INSIDE! BUT YOU WON'T GET TO SEE THE TEARS I-"
"CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
"BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES!" 🐈⬛
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Shattered Promises: Henry Cavill x Reader
Note: This story explores the painful journey of a relationship's end and the process of healing and moving forward.
---
The walls of the once-happy home felt suffocating as tension hung in the air. Henry Cavill stood before you, his face etched with a mixture of sorrow and resignation. The words he spoke felt like shards of glass, piercing your heart.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I've found someone else," he uttered, his voice filled with remorse.
Shock washed over you, and your world crumbled in an instant. The promises of forever, the dreams you had built together, shattered into a million pieces. A lump formed in your throat, stifling the words that begged for an explanation.
Trying to compose yourself, you choked out a question, your voice trembling. "Henry, how... how did this happen? What went wrong?"
Henry's gaze flickered, avoiding your eyes. "I don't have all the answers, Y/N. Sometimes, feelings change, and I can't deny the connection I've found with someone else. It's not fair to you or to myself to pretend otherwise."
Pain coursed through your veins, tears blurring your vision. The weight of heartbreak settled upon your shoulders, threatening to crush you. In that moment, it felt as though your entire world had been torn apart.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, as you navigated the aftermath of Henry's departure. The anguish and confusion lingered, but amidst the darkness, a flicker of resilience ignited within you. You resolved to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and rebuild your life.
Surrounded by the support of loved ones, you embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing. You sought solace in the embrace of friends who reminded you of your worth, who encouraged you to rediscover the depths of your strength.
As time passed, you grew stronger, finding solace in your passions and rediscovering the person you were before Henry entered your life. Each day brought new opportunities for growth and self-love.
But even as you forged ahead, the scars of your broken relationship remained. The memories of Henry's touch, his laughter, and the love you once shared haunted your thoughts, a constant reminder of what was lost.
Then, one day, as the sun bathed the world in golden light, you realized that the pain had transformed into something different—a bittersweet nostalgia that no longer held you captive. The wounds had begun to heal, paving the way for a future filled with hope and new beginnings.
In the midst of your healing, you discovered a strength you never knew existed. You found love within yourself and learned to embrace the person you had become.
And as you stood on the precipice of a new chapter, you knew that the pain of losing Henry had shaped you, but it did not define you. The world held infinite possibilities, and you were determined to embrace them with open arms.
In time, you found love again, a love that was built on a foundation of mutual respect and understanding. This love, though different, was no less profound. It reminded you that your heart could mend and that happiness could be found in unexpected places.
Henry remained a part of your story, a chapter that brought both joy and sorrow. The wounds he left behind had scarred, but they had also reminded you of your resilience and capacity to love.
As you moved forward, you carried the lessons learned from your past, cherishing the moments of happiness and growth. And with each step, you embraced the beautiful uncertainty of life, knowing that the future held infinite possibilities, even after the most devastating of heartbreaks.
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@ceaselxss // Con't
Tseng sighs softly, reaching out to brush a piece of Vaux's hair back behind his ear. He doesn't like that he upsets him, and he doesn't like that he doesn't have the power to change it.
"Did you know that you are the most normal part of my life? I've never had much of the opportunity to be a normal person; I am a Turk. I've been a Turk for almost half my life... The entire time I've been an adult. I can't tell you what sort of life that is, but I can tell you that I enjoy the snatches of a normal life I get to have when I'm with you."
"You've seen what I look like. That is my normal. That is my day to day. And I am a liar, I have to be, for your safety, for my job. But I'm not lying to make you feel better - I know you're more perspective than that. I don't tell you when I'm hurt because my normal and real normal don't mix well and I... I like pretending."
He lowers his head for a moment, unable to repress the true emotion in his eyes and unwilling to share it.
"I'm going to die young, Vaux. I'm going to die in some awful, violent brutal way. I am going to keep getting hurt, I'm going to suffer. This is my life. It's more than a job. I can't walk away, I can't run. I am alive right now because of luck and the kindness of others. This is what you have to endure if you want to be with me."
"I'm sorry."
He's upset and its entirely obvious by the way the tailor's eyes shimmer with the threat of tears, in how he cannot quite raise his eyes upward to meet Tseng's, even after the perfectly gentle contact offered.
He felt so immensely torn, and the more Tseng spoke the more Vaux could feel his heart tearing itself apart and how he wanted to speak; but to what end? Would aught he wanted to utter matter in the end? Vaux had known what he was getting in to when they had first shown interest in one another - Tseng had always been open about the dangers of his job, though the details were always held back; he couldn't be angry about it, not now, not after long accepting the facts.
Perhaps he ought adjust his perspective. He may have been upset given the way he often found out his love had gotten hurt, but perhaps he ought to - instead - cling to the fact that he was Tseng's normality... his taste of ordinary. There was something perfectly special about the ordinary; one that ought be treasured, especially when such seldom existed.
The more Tseng speaks, the more he feels the burning tightness in the back of his throat threatening sobs; the way his chest felt compressed, the way every breath shuddered whether inhaled or exhaled. There was no denying that he absolutely detested what he was hearing and eventually he allowed for one, perhaps two, little sobs to emerge while a torrent of tears stained his makeup-less cheeks.
Hands finally move, however, and choose to cup either side of Tseng's face so that he could raise his gaze - - just enough to press their foreheads together in a moment of quiet, restrained upset once more swallowed down into the darkest pits of his stomach.
"You don't know that---" His whispered, hushed voice is naught if not utterly broken; "So much changes every day, you can't be certain of that..." And as much Vaux was aware that it was a very real and very frightening possibility that Tseng simply... wouldn't return one day, he also knew there was the possibility he would; and it would be for that would-be possibility that he would keep on fighting through the upsets... because he would risk everything for that warm embrace when they see one another for the first time in a while, the comfort he feels when settled aside him. He'd felt no other peace in the world... and knew he wouldn't again without him.
Eventually, he relents. He drops his head to his love's shoulder and finally allows for tears to emerge more freely, but he continues to restrain the sound of his sobs. In fact, if not for the dainty tremble to hands and shoulders, one may not have been aware of his crying at all.
Arms wrap around; hands holding on to the material of a suit constructed by his own hands and yet in that moment he finds he detests it and all it stands for. A fleeting moment - - unlike his grip, which shows no loosening. The way Vaux holds Tseng in that moment is truly telling of his fear of losing him - - of how much he loves and adores him, and his hope for a future mayhap less fragile.
As much as he hated seeing Tseng hurt, as he detested the secrecy and the lies, the possibility of death around every corner - - Vaux had known this ere they'd become a couple; it was something he had signed up for. All of the pain, all of the hurt, all of the worry that consumed him night after night if he'd not heard from Tseng... all of it he had agreed to; and all of it he would continue to agree to so long as he kept returning home to the tailor safely.
"I'm not going anywhere..." He finally uttered, syllables muffled by his face buried against his love's shoulder; "It doesn't matter what happens next, what disaster decides to come about, what viciousness demands you... I'll always be here for you. I'm not giving up on the only person who I've ever sincerely loved, not for anything..."
Perhaps he would just have to start putting a basket of medical supplies in his bathroom cabinet, beneath the sink, for when Tseng needed them--- at least then Vaux would feel as if he was helping, if only indirectly.
He could only hope, in silence, that if the worst ever did come to pass... he would have a chance to say goodbye.
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here i am
once again
i'm torn into pieces, can't deny it can't pretend
i thought you were the one
broken up deep inside
But you wont get to see these tears i cryyyyy
behind these hazel eyes
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Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
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i'm not gonna lie, i really quite enjoyed ofmd, but i can't pretend i'm upset by the cancellation
like, the show romanticises a pair of actual, literal, existed-at-one-point-in-time slavers, but you wouldn't know that from watching it, because while all manner of other crimes are portrayed, that particular set is conveniently omitted
and there really aren't a whole lot of generations between then and now, and the impact of those crimes is still being felt by families spanning several continents
you can admit that's pretty fucked up, right?
you can admit that speaks to a disregard for the history and trauma of the african diaspora, right?
not to even mention how taika waititi made a whole marvel movie about how a nation built on colonialist violence cannot be rehabilitated, and must be torn out by the roots for its people to find redemption, but when an actor on the show expressed solidarity with palestine, they got axed
like, does the show speak to me as a queer trans person? yes. but i'm also aware that me being white and european affords me a privilege of being spoken to, that a black queer trans person might not be. and i can't ignore or deny that, just so that i get to uncritically enjoy a piece of media
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Schizoid
Deep inside myself, my love feels relentlessly painful... all it does is hurt, in hopes that people close to me feel just like I do.
A crushed-Insignificant and achingly hollow kind of hurt.
I just broke up with a lady to protect her from this painful thing in me that wouldn't allow me to love her back… the way it's so easy for the rest of you.
One part of me said I was doing the right thing.
One part said I wasn't.
In the middle, I found it cruel and unfair to be so torn that I felt she deserved better (don't we all).
Funny way to protect somebody.
Everyday I feel my love the way you feel your love, only my crossed wires receive that message as worthlessness. Even in a healthy relationship.
Imagine how many times your heart swells every day...
To me that feels like a consuming anguish, torn between a lonely, temper-mad envious, kicking-screaming little tantrumy kid that is starved-desperate for it; malnourished and fed lies by a terribly possessive, manipulative monster that denies him the ability to feel anything except guilt and shame for wanting love in the first place.
So much that once he's allowed a toy, he's driven by privation to break it. So no one else can play with it.
I've lost a lot of good people over a lotta years… not knowing I've been buried in a hole of recusing turmoil my whole life, because I never knew what this was… pouring a lifetime of alcohol in that hole to float and drift covertly amidst you.
Ya see, I just couldn't stop drinking. Otherwise I'd feel this. Every day. Because turmoil is my baseline.
Five years of sobriety's only reward is feeling more like myself than I have in the past 25 years… the problem is, I feel like what I felt as a child. Empty and starving. Ravenous in a world, surrounded by feasting animals.
For years now I haven't really been able to feel anything about anything. Walking blind, oblivious of this black hole inside me sucking the light and joy out of everything that came close, as well as everything I do. everything I think.
Can't tell you how incredible 'nothing' feels like… it doesn't even hurt, because pain is informative. It's just a collapsed emptiness, ignorant of its helplessness.
Heartache isn't the opposite of heart-swell.
Heart-hardening is.
It's a heavily fortified suit of armor worn over the opposite of love.
But it protected me. This shutdown protected me by closing off all sensation. It kept me from feeling the unstoppable force of destructive love, breaking over my immovable object-relationships with the last few things that gave meaning to my life. In hopes to keep them safe from arrows of loss that had already penetrated; trapped in a suit of armor, bleeding internally.
It's an endless maintenance trying to stop wounds from bleeding out while trying to polish an inadequate form of defense from external attack.
Five years is a long time to live without your most prized coping device. It's a long time to live as a black hole too.
It makes you seek out anything that can serve as a surrogate.
I'm tired of using other people as a crutch.
I'm tired of indifference all the time.
I'm tired of lying and cheating and stealing from everyone just trying to scavenge off what they feel, pretending I made 'em feel it.
(Breathe) I've been at rock bottom before. Collecting damaged pieces and throwing out the broken ones… it leaves you with so few things to put back together to function as a whole animal in hopes to live long enough to replace what you've been forced to give up. Forcing yourself to live without.
Telling yourself it's all for the best.
That you've done the right thing...
Because, jesus christ, there's no such thing as a rock bottom in a black hole.
Recovery is a hard road for a scavenger. It's a constant crisis, searching for water to fill your gut to stave off hunger pangs of something that filled you so completely.
It's a lot of rewiring to connect, when you've never learned how to attach.
I'm jealous how easy it is for you to switch and change and get what you want, bearing witness while struggling constantly to get just a small piece of what I need.
And yet at the same time, it's absolute torture to take active part in something you've taken for granted so much, you honestly feel you don't deserve it.
It's a take no prisoners aftermath.
I have two warring factions inside me fighting each other, needlessly, for supremacy. One is a scared-stiff little kid, afraid to say or feel anything, lost in the bottom of my heart, crying in fits of frustration because I won't let him grow up. One is an angry-voracious mouth with spider legs for teeth, burrowing up and down through my spinal canal, looking for its next bone-meal. They're both trapped inside, isolating the conflict from collateral damage in solitary confinement.
It's my battle with addiction, against coping… because I want a drink, but I can't drink, because drinking only hurts me. And if I allow myself to, I won't stop.
I want love, but I won't feel love, because I don't want my love to hurt you.
And if you allow me to, I won't stop.
To those of you I've loved too much, I'm sorry.
Caught-22.
I did my malfunctioning best.
Stop.
I'm doing my best to atone.
Catch-44.
Doing my best to live without.
STOP.
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Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these Weezer eyes
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Behind these hazel eyes by Belle. (To the portrait of Adam on the library wall)
Belle: Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh-oh, oh, oh
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
I thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you can’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright for once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
I thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you can’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I can’t cry
On the outside,
Anymore
Anymore
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
I thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you can’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
I thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you can’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
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whos your favorite fic writer/moots and why? Got any recommendations?
these aren’t in any particular order. it’s whatever came to mind first ! i think something that should be kept in mind is that i rarely read a fic entirely and not just skim it. so the people that i put on this list are people that i actually take the time to do more than skim the fic. that makes me sound like a bitch, but y’know !! i'm just telling the truth </3
honourable mentions but can’t say much because head empty and thumbs cramping. please know i love you so much even though my fingers are fuckin abt to fall off. if u message me i’ll HYPE U UP DW ABT IT: @izukine , @armins-futon , @tetsunormous , @alrightberries , @zekeslut .
1 . @weepinglevi // lisa is one of the few people that i’ve actually read, and enjoyed the way that eren was written. any of the eren fics that she comes out with are always chefs kiss. she’s also an absolute sweetheart to just sit down and talk to about anything that comes to mind. you’ll love her work, and her horny thoughts on the dash. go check her out, and tell her that i’m waiting for eren in the kitchen with my plate for that chicken.
2 . @onyxoverride // onyx is just one of those writers where you read their work, and you sit with it for a little while. it really makes you get up to fucking touch some grass. i do have a rec that was the one that pulled me in, it was uhhhh, lemme link it here. it’s zeke x reiner x reader . i’m into that type of stuff, y’know. also i just started talking to onyx , so i promise they’re funny and not intimidating at all if ur not a pussy. IM KIDDING . zXREAR. ok fr!! check them out !
3 . @snkslush // if horny was personified then mixed in with the power puff girls, hex girls, and lisa frank –- you’d get maia. absolutely a smut heathen. while i don’t have any fics in particular to recommend, their thirsts are enough to keep anybody fed, ok?? also, they will absolutely bounce every horny thought you have in your head right back to you and ampliphy that shit. bro, i promise you, you won’t regret it.
4 . @arumiee // i’m not sure if mars knows her actual talent, or potential in everything that they write?? like. i mean, of course they probably do, but the absolutle power they had writing smut to a gospel song. stop. this is the link to it if you haven’t read it. 10 / 10 please marry me.
5 . @bakhoe // miss stinky pants who’s going to hook me up with her cousin because he looks like bertholdt and we’re gonna become family -- i mean. talented. absolutely talented. before i started writing my own content for aot ( y’know, back when i was just creeping silently with a blank blog ), i actually read a lot of mar’s things. mostly the armin stuff if i’m being honest. i can’t remember in particular any, but check them all out. you won’t regret.
6 . @welcometotheclubhoe // should i even tag you when ur in horny jail??? it’s gonna end up leaking over or smthing, ew. gross. but, jay was one of my first mutuals ever. anything jay writes actually is just inscribed in my brain. all of the things she’s published is going to be read at my funeral.
7. @odmlevis // riz is one of those blogs i don’t see on my dash for a while then out of nowhere she smacks me with bertholdt nsfw art and calls it a gift. she’s also very talented. i dunno if you’ve ever gotten to read any of her work, but i promise you won’t regret it. pls...go look. take a GANDERRR.
8. @yuh-arlert // this is my grandchild. also, the way i read their first smut before they published it and it was godly but they were STILL UNSURE. who?? for what??? anything they write for jean has me running in circles, PLS.
#anyways here i am#once again#torn into pieces can't deny i can't pretend#just thought u were the one#Anonymous#answered
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Just wanted to drop in and say hi and thank you for your take. I’m feeling somewhat the same way you do (after trying to force myself to be ok for the last half hour with how the episode ended).
You have been a great part of the clowning on my dash, and I appreciate you!
I'm really glad to hear I could be someone positive for you throughout all of this. I don't blame anyone who is okay, anyone who expected this, anyone who still has hope for Buddie becoming canon in season five. You all do you, truly. I just know what my limit is.
I came into this show after being really burned by The Magicians and Timeless, and took a chance on it, and I'm just... yeah. I'm tired. I'm really, really tired.
Thank you for your ask, I'm glad to know I'm not alone, and I hope you do whatever self-care necessary to feel better. It's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to step back from a show. Take care of yourself my dear. ❤️
#mads answers things#for those of you wondering#Timeless killed my favorite character#and The Magicians went biphobic and had a character who struggled with depression basically commit suicide#but they glorified it by making it a 'heroic sacrifice'#Siri play 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' by Kelly Clarkson#HERE I AM#ONCE AGAIN#I'M TORN INTO PIECES#CAN'T DENY IT#CAN'T PRETEND#JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE#we cope with humor around here
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never thought i’d return to this hell site but here i am once again
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for ; @test-tube , rei ilysm !! thank u for being so sweet all the time whenever we talk, ur my favourite pretty boy forever and always <33 LOL ily i hope you like this !!! :D
info ; albedo hurt/comfort, soulmate au (red thread connecting both soulmates that's visible when you close your eyes), spoilers for 2.3 event + albedo lore
sometimes, ALBEDO looks at you and it hurts. your wide smile as you look back at him as you taste a snowflake for the first time, how adorable you look bundled up in his scarf because he was worried you were too cold, or the amazed expression you wear when you watch him experimenting in his laboratory. everything about you is perfect to him – a perfect reminder of what he shouldn't have.
when ALBEDO shuts his eyes, he can visualise the red thread he's seen a million times before, every single piece of wire intertwining to form a rope connecting you to him. he doesn't understand why he has a soulmate, after all he can barely be considered a human. and to be paired by the archons with someone as wonderful as you... even ALBEDO's genius mind can't figure out how that works.
you deserve the world on a silver platter, to experience life to the fullest with a partner who you love, and ALBEDO is worried he can't give that to you, especially when he's still searching for the definition of life itself. but for some reason, you've chosen him, and you continue to choose him every day when you wake up next to him and press a chaste kiss on his lips to start the morning off.
ALBEDO can't understand it, how can you love someone like him who doesn't even know how to express nor feel proper emotions? yet you always laugh and reply teasingly, "mr kreideprinz, is this you trying to deny that you're head over heels for me?" he never can answer that, because he knows he is in love with you, this swirling feeling in his stomach that everyone calls butterflies whenever he looks at you, the almost desperate desire to make sure you're safe and happy all the time, the warmth that fills even his chalk heart when your body is tangled up with his late at night.
ALBEDO isn't sure how long he can keep pretending he doesn't feel the burning gaze of a pair of cobalt eyes watching him from the mountain, or the way durin's energy seems to be getting even stronger, some mechanical yet organic heart thumping rhythmically inside the depths of dragonspine, or even the footprints which appear miraculously outside his base, and the torn pages from his notebooks left like a shower of snow on the ground.
but for now, he'll focus on the present; where you're a wondrous gift to him that he'll never stop being grateful for, and ALBEDO will stay with you until the inevitable day the red thread snaps.
© starglitterz 2021. do not repost or modify in any way – reblog / follow if you enjoyed !
#albedo x reader#albedo fluff#albedo imagines#albedo drabbles#albedo scenarios#albedo genshin impact#genshin impact albedo#genshin albedo#genshin impact fluff#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin imagines#genshin impact writing#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact drabbles#genshin fluff#albedo#q.albedo#✏️ — quill writes !#genshin spoilers#albedo angst#albedo hurt/comfort#genshin hurt/comfort#genshin angst
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