#top 3 worst pains i've ever felt

[sseureki]

Spencer, you’re so wrong.

#all american #allamericanedit #spelivia #spencer james #olivia baker #spencer x olivia #olivia x spencer #top 3 worst pains i've ever felt #daniel ezra #samantha logan #i was so mad like girl was sad looking at your side of the bed that morning #don't piss me off

[llamamamareads]

An Illyrian Baby: Part III

Part I | Part II

This is the final part of An Illyrian Baby. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for all the love and support. It's been a long time since I've written on tumblr and had absolutely no intention to do so again, but when the initial idea popped into my head I literally could not sleep until I got it out of my system. I can't promise anything in the future, but we'll see ;) xx

Azriel x Reader

Several hours later, you walk hand in hand to the infirmary with Azriel. You’d had a long conversation about the pros and cons and he decided to agree with these methods on the condition that Madja stops the moment anything goes wrong with you. The problem at this point was more Azriel keeping his cool than anything. Shadows wound up and along your legs as you walked, twisting and turning in spirals around him as well. His jaw was tight and he kept a firm grip on your hand. You pull your joined hands to your lips as you approach the infirmary door. “It’s only a broken bone, Az,” you murmur as you press a kiss to the back of his hand.

“Only a broken bone,” he mutters and shakes his head. “An unnecessary broken bone.”

“It’s not unnecessary if it works.”

He shakes his head and walks through the doors. Cassian is standing to the right with Rhys and Feyre to the left. Madja stands with her back turned as she pours what smells like tea into a mug for you. Azriel helps you onto the cot and presses his lips to the top of your head. “Drink this and we’ll begin as soon as you’re asleep.” Madja hands you the mug and you drink every drop, handing the mug back to her.

You fall asleep rather quickly and Madja nods to Feyre and Rhys. Together they get into your mind to ensure you will be at peace throughout the process. Cassian stands at the foot of the cot, watching Azriel closely. Madja stands across from Azriel but at your hips rather than higher up your torso. “Ready?” she asks. Once Feyre and Rhys nod she looks to Azriel who swallows and nods once as well.

Immediately, the sounds of bones breaking echoes throughout the room and Azriel lets his breath out in an audible woosh. With the sound of a second crack he drops to his knees beside you, his hands dropping your hand to grip the sides of the cot. The third crack sends shadows whirling around the room, your body covered in swirls of them with more bouncing around the room uncontrollably. The lights are knocked out by the surge of Azriel’s power.

Cassian steps to one side and Rhys to the other, each gripping one of his shoulders. Madja continues working and Azriel’s grip on the cot never falters. The chaos of the room continues until she’s finished. “She’ll need to rest a few days before getting up and about. If she needs anything, I’ll be here.”

Azriel carries you to your room and tucks you into bed. He sits next to you and traces patterns on the skin of your arm gently as he waits for you to wake up. He sits for hours waiting, his shadows continuing to whirl over you protectively.

When you wake up, you are genuinely in the worst pain you’ve ever felt. You try to sit up as you open your eyes, but let out a soft grunt of displeasure. “(Y/N) don’t move, baby. What do you need?” Azriel asks, helping you to shift to sit with the pillows at your back.

You shake your head gently. “I’m fine, I just have to pee.” You move to kick your feet off the side of the bed and let out a whimper at the movement. Azriel immediately scoops you up and assists you throughout the process, informing you of everything Madja said of aftercare.

For two days he doesn’t let you out of bed. It’s a week after that before the pain settled into soreness. Unfortunately, a month later, you return to Madja to repeat the process. It takes 3 sessions before your bone structure reflects that of an Illyrian female’s. 3 sessions, 3 months, and more pain than you’d both ever wanted to endure later. You both had stopped drinking contraceptives. You weren’t up for any activities throughout the process as it was, but the sooner you both stopped drinking it, the sooner the effects would wear off for later.

A year later, you’re cooking dinner when Azriel walks into your quarters and slides his arms around your waist from behind. He kisses where your neck meets your shoulder and freezes when he inhales your scent. A slow grin spreads across his face and he kisses your skin again. “You’re pregnant,” he murmurs, turning you around. He drops to his knees in front of you and kisses just below your navel. “You’re finally pregnant,” he grins up at you, squeezing your hips gently with his palms.

You both celebrate that night but wait to tell everyone until you’ve seen Madja. It was easier said than done. You kept to yourself in your quarters and Azriel swore Madja to secrecy. You lay down on the cot the same as you’d done for every other appointment with her and Azriel takes your hand. Madja places a hand on your lower abdomen and smiles fondly.

“You indeed are pregnant. With not one but two babes.”

You look up at her then Azriel, both of your faces expressing shock. “Two? We’re having twins?”

“Yes, dear. Twins. Don’t worry about a thing,” Madja promises and pats your hand, seeing the worry behind the excitement in your expression.

“Twins,” Azriel repeats, a grin from ear to ear as he wraps you in his arms and twirls you around. “We’re having twins!!”

@psychobookaholic @inpraizeof @kexrtiz @historygeekqueen @elizabethrosecresswell @icy--stars

#azriel #acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #bat boys

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: aftermath | ljn

summary | you're sick—it's unavoidable, you can't be healthy all the time. unfortunately, the night before you came down with the fever, you had a massive fight with your boyfriend, who is the only person available to take care of you.

genre | a bit of angst and fluff

wc | 1.3k

a/n: i don't think i've ever had a worse parasocial relationship than my one with jeno <3 peace and love hope u enjoy

jaemin's ver

SOMETIMES, you seriously think the world is out to get you.

As you lay in bed, curled up into a ball and coughing out a lung every couple of minutes, you wonder if you did something to deserve the past 24 hours of your life. You’d felt just fine yesterday, running every errand under the sun and having a genuinely productive day up until dinner.

Jeno was a good boyfriend, and your relationship was a good one—he never missed an anniversary, you didn’t fight often at all, and you had a good understanding of boundaries between one another. Of course, that didn’t mean you’d never experience a bump in the road, you just wish it hadn’t been so inconveniently timed.

You don’t even remember what you were arguing about at this point, all you know is that it was mostly your fault, and it wasn’t too kind of an argument. It ended with Jeno storming out of your apartment and disappearing into the city, leaving you to cry your eyes out for the rest of the night. Then, you woke up this morning with a high fever and weak lungs, and—with no one else to turn to—you sent Jeno a pathetic text about your current state of being.

Despite all your misgivings, the mean words you threw and the general lack of reasoning behind your actions the night before, Jeno showed up about 15 minutes after your initial text with a bag of various medicines and the biggest bottled water you’d ever seen in your life.

Right now, he was sitting in bed next to you, using your TV to play some random game with Jaemin and Renjun. You hadn’t outright talked to him for most of the day, but you’d laid right next to him for hours, and he got you every single thing you needed.

When it was time to eat, he made you soup and insisted that you ate it. He made sure you were drinking water. He kept tissues next to you at all times, and wet towels for you to place on your forehead. He took your temperature every few hours. He cleaned up your kitchen and bent at your will whenever you needed him to.

Even though you were so, so terrible to him the day before.

Quietly, you pushed yourself up from your curled position, sitting on the edge of the bed for a sec.

“Need something?” Jeno asked, a hint of concern seeping through the flat tone he’d been trying to keep up all day. You just shook your head, slowly standing up and trying not to pass out from the sudden wave of dizziness that hit you.

“Restroom,” you croaked back, cringing at the pain in the back of your throat. Your steps were slow and uncoordinated, to the point where Jeno kept his eyes on you for the entire time you approached the doorway. Faintly, you could hear Renjun yelling at him to play the game, and Jaemin giggling about it at the same time.

Once you made it out into the hall, you just about burst into tears. This was seriously the worst day you’d ever lived in your life—your head hurt, hell, your whole body hurt, you couldn’t go five minutes without coughing up a storm, you felt nauseous and dizzy and overwhelmed by the sickness your body was fighting. On top of that, your boyfriend was practically ignoring you, even if he was tending to your every need.

You took your final steps into the bathroom, flicking on the light and quietly closing the door behind you. Now feeling too weak to keep standing, you slid down the wall adjacent to the sink, shoving your face into your hands. You allowed the tears to flow, crying over how you felt, how awful the last day had been, and how guilty you felt towards your beloved boyfriend. All you wanted was a hug and reassurance that you’d be better soon, but all you got was cold stares and detached care, all of which was your fault.

If you had the energy, the voice to apologize, you would’ve ages ago, but with the knives in your throat, you could barely utter more than one word at once.

A sob escaped your throat, the pain ricocheting down your neck, and it only made you cry harder. You wanted to disappear yourself and never come back out if it meant you could just stop feeling like this.

Of course, Jeno knew you better than anyone else. He could always tell when something was wrong, and he always knew when to leave you alone or when to offer his help. Three knocks resounded on the bathroom door, rhythmic and slow, informing you of Jeno’s presence.

“Can I come in?” he asked, finally losing the monotony he’d carried throughout the day. Unsure of what you wanted at that moment, you just knocked on the door back, mimicking him. He took that as a yes, opening the door just a crack and slipping through it.

Wallowing in your self-pity, you brought your knees up to your chest and kept your eyes trained on the floor. You’d rather die than look at him right now.

Jeno sat down on the floor across from you with his back pressed up against the cabinets under your sink. For a moment, both of you sat there in silence, waiting for one or the other to fill the quiet void.

“Why are you crying?”

If you’d been in better spirits, the easy response would’ve been “why do you think?” but the thought of angering him more made you feel even sicker than before.

“I’m sorry,” you managed to croak out, trying to suppress the oncoming wave of tears you felt bunching at your eyes. If you cried any harder, you would’ve coughed a bit more than your lungs out.

Jeno let out a quiet scoff, making your stomach drop to the floor. This was the part where he broke up with you, or something, telling you to get a friend to come to take care of you. He’d take all of his stuff out of your apartment, from his extra gaming laptop to all of his workout stuff, and leave without a trace, leaving you on the bathroom floor.

“Come here,” he muttered, gently grabbing your wrist and tugging at your arm, waiting for you to comply. You didn't budge, but he just kept tugging, quietly nagging for you to listen. Slowly, you gave in to his request, pushing yourself across the floor and moving to sit next to him. “Not what I meant.”

With a quick pull, Jeno had you sitting up against him, arms draped around your waist and his head on top of yours. “I’m not mad right now. You don’t need more stress.”

There were a few more beats of silence, and, when Jeno confirmed to himself that you weren’t going to talk, he continued. “We were mean to each other last night. You weren’t the only offender—I started the whole thing. If anyone should apologize, it’s me. Especially for how I’ve treated you since this morning. I’m sorry.”

“You took care of me, though.”

“It doesn’t matter what I did, I wasn’t nice about it. Okay? Now everything is settled, and it’s all back to normal, and you can stop feeling worse than you need to.” Jeno leaned down and placed a kiss on your neck, squeezing your waist in the process. “We can watch a movie or something. And, when you feel better, we can talk about things if you want. But for now, rest up, and let me take care of you more."

thank you for reading! <3

#cinna.nct #nct dream x reader #jeno x reader #lee jeno x reader #jeno scenarios #jeno imagines #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct x reader #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #jeno fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #req

[sergle]

how bad is the pain right after surgery? im hoping to schedule my reduction next year. im a 32K and want them gone SO BAD but im a baby lol

there is DEFINITELY PAIN, but it's not the worst pain I've ever felt. I think I clocked it at a 7 when I woke up from surgery- my nurse asked me to rate it to get a ballpark of how heavily to douse me in pain meds before I left lmao. I felt so exhausted from the surgery that I slept an absolute ton, also, so a lot of that day-of pain is being blotted out while you're unconscious! hooray! they give you pain meds immediately, and keeping on top of the doses (not letting the meds Wear Off inbetween) keeps it to a dull roar. On day 3 rn and the pain is already muchh more manageable! That's how it's been for me, anyway. It could be diff for you, I know some people feel basically numb, or others are more sensitive to pain, whatevs. but it's not Too Bad.

#it SUCKS anytime you engage your pectoral muscles by accident right. like that definitely feels bad #but I'd say Discomfort is more prominent than pain? at least for me. at least so far. #like they're HOT. and they're SWOLLEN. and the compression bra is COMPRESSING. #but those things don't hurt. they're very uncomfortable tho #sergle answers

[tkachuktkaching]

Tkachuk to be full participant at start of Panthers training camp

Forward ‘feeling great’ after fracturing sternum during Stanley Cup Final

LAS VEGAS -- Matthew Tkachuk will be a full participant when the Florida Panthers begin training camp Sept. 21.

The forward said at the NHL North American Player Media Tour on Tuesday during an interview for a future episode of the "NHL @TheRink" podcast that he is healthy more than three months after sustaining a fractured sternum in the first period of Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Final against the Vegas Golden Knights on June 8.

"I am feeling great," Tkachuk said. "It's been a very short summer, the way I want it to be every year going forward. The worst timing for the injury, obviously, Stanley Cup Final, but in a weird way I had time after where I wasn't missing X amount of months of game action, so I had the summer to get ready. I definitely improved on some things. The injury allowed me to work on some parts of fitness and conditioning and that is in the best form right now possible, and I just improved on some strength, which was my goal."

Tkachuk returned in the third period of Game 3 and scored the tying goal with 2:13 remaining. The Panthers won 3-2 in overtime.

He said he was given permission by team doctors to play through the pain in Game 4. He skated 16:40 and had four shots on goal in a 3-2 loss that put Florida down 3-1 in the best-of-7 series. Tkachuk did not play Game 5, which Vegas won 9-3 to win the Stanley Cup.

"I think I realized I was in the most pain when we won that Game 3," Tkachuk said. "I missed a big portion of it, came back and we won it in overtime. After the game, I'm walking around and normally you have the high spirits after a win, especially in the playoffs. It doesn't matter what you're going through, you're on top of the world. And I was pumped, but I still knew that half of my body felt like it was [in pain]. I knew something wasn't right.

“I didn't know what it was at the time. We did all my tests the next day, then I came back and basically with doctor's orders was given the opportunity to do everything I could to play just one game. [I] did it. I would have done it all over again if I had the chance."

Tkachuk said he wasn't worried about long-term effects of the break in his sternum, knowing that would heal, but there were some internal issues that that led to some scary moments.

"I'll try to keep it short, but there's all the blood vessels and stuff and that was the scary part at the time and that was the most concerning part in my health at the time," Tkachuk said. "But right now, it's good."

He was able to play Game 4 despite not even being able to get out of bed without assistance from his brother, Ottawa Senators forward Brady Tkachuk.

"I'm not going to lie, that was the craziest thing I've ever kind of been a part of," Brady said Tuesday, also for a future episode of the "NHL @TheRink" podcast. "I just flew in for the game because I wanted to see a Stanley Cup Final game and he came back from the rink in the morning and just looked awful. He was like, 'I’ve got to go take a nap.' And then he calls me at 3:30 and I'm downstairs. He says, 'Can you come up here?' We were just mucking it up and then he's like, 'Alright, I need you to help me up.' I'm like, 'You're joking.' He's like, 'No, I legit can't get up. I just sneezed and I thought I died.'

“He was going through some serious pain and just to see him be able to find a way to just play in that game and have the mindset of treating this as my last game, do whatever it takes, try to get a win and put ourselves in a better position going into Game 5, I was so proud of him. The way he played, trying to work around it, not many people can do, especially at the pain level he was at."

Tkachuk finished last season tied for sixth in the NHL with 109 points (40 goals, 69 assists) in 79 games. He led the Panthers and was tied for third in the NHL in playoff scoring with 24 points (11 goals, 13 assists) in 20 games.

Florida is not expected to have defensemen Aaron Ekblad and Brandon Montour on the ice for the start of training camp; each has been rehabbing from offseason shoulder surgery. Tkachuk said they may not be back until around Christmas.

#florida panthers #matthew tkachuk #some brady too #brady tkachuk #nhl off season #source nhl.com

[kthecutest]

hi darls how are you today? anyways you know me ( I have another req🤸) and imma do a yuma smut req (being yuma biased is great🤸) (yuma!sub)

can you do yuma and you trying vibrators for the first time and you edge and then overstim him? and he's being a brat as well so uhm punishment! and hes gonna sort.of cry

thank darls<3 xoxo

-🤍anon

Hi girlieee! I'm doing great and I hope you are as well! <33 Sorry the post came back so late, I've been wrapped around in fluff requests so my hornyness wouldn't return but yesss today it returned and it's wilder than ever. So the smut came out way way longer LMAO just a warning though- this got so wild to the point that while I was proofreading I was basically heating up so bad (╥ᆺ╥；) I hope you'll love it my fav anon (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) !

┏━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┓

Pairing : sub!Yuma x dom!gn!reader Genre : NSFW (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ 🥕 A/N ೃ⁀➷ MINORS DNI

It’s been countless minutes, almost felt like hours to Yuma who is set in front of your figure in a desperate pitiful state. A black blindfold wrapped like a tapestry over his cat-like eyes while another piece of cloth was tied tightly around his mouth to restrict his moans and whimpers. The cloth no longer being able to do its job because the cat boy was nibling on it to the point it has rolled up into a thin line gagging him. An egg vibrator taped to his fully-hard dick on full display while his hands are tied tightly at the back, the ropes leaving marks on his snow-white skin. His legs aren’t tied though but the poor kitty cannot bring himself to close his legs from the embarrassing state since he was feeling too much pain and pleasure at the same time. And that pink shaking crystal-like dildo snucked warmly in his stretched hole was the cherry on top.

Yet despite all the components, there was not a single spot of whiteness or cum anywhere. You told him not to cum until you got your hands on him so the bratty but obedient kitty listened to you. Since he wasn’t ready for any more punishment after all. The worst part was that you were seated right in front of him watching his pitiful embarrassing state while sliding a plastic cock in and out of your drenched pussy, letting out wild moans just to trigger the desperate boy in full restriction. Not putting headphones on him was such a right idea.

After some more minutes of torture, his dick was already so red and swollen to the point it looked like on the edge of exploding. Feeling a bit merciful for the boy, you finished your fair share of fun and walked over to him, unravelling the cloth restrictions on his face. “Alright kitty~ you’ve done such a great job~ how does that feel hm~?” you kissed and licked all the tears sprawled out on his cheeks. “N- need to cum~ master please~ t- too much” he begged, stuttering, earning a smirk from you. “Who would have known the vibrators would change my bratty little kitty~” you grabbed onto the wired button that attached to the vibrating egg on his dick, turning it up while your other hand goes to stroke the base of his leaking cock. Just a few strokes and the boy was already falling apart right in front of you; eyes rolled to the back of his head while his legs shook in timing with his orgasm. The white sticky fluid squirting out, wetting his abdomen, his thighs and some getting on your thighs. You took your hand off him licking the fluid-covered hand with your set of lustful eyes fixed on him.

As soon as the naughty kitty has had his release, his brattyness quickly came back to life. “Ugh.. changed my ass. I was just effected because it’s my first time trying them..” he swiftly found an excuse to defend himself, his legs still shaking and body limp; still not recovered properly from the orgasm earlier. “Oh really~? Well I guess now that your little first time is over… you can handle more, can’t you?” His eyes widen in shock as the brattyness seemed to have been kicked out of him but before he could make a snarky remark, he felt a strong aggressive pressure on the vibrating dildo snucked in his clenched hole; his eyes were so close to rolling to the back of his head as he let out a loud gasp followed by breathy pants. “F-fuck.. stop that..” “Hm~? Why kitty~? Got your own tongue now~?” a dramatic pause in between the ruffling sounds of you moving around behind him and his breathy desperate little pants filled the room. “Don’t forget who has the vibrator controller, connected straight to the one snuck in that tight hole of yours right now…~” a moan left his lips as you tugged on his hair harshly pulling it back.

“ngh~.. hurts..” you thought he was whining about the harsh tug on his hair until you looked down to see his half-hard cock. “Well bratty kitty~ how about we play a game of penalty since you can handle all this so well now~?” He shaked his head with a pouty face; that didn’t stop you from pushing the vibrator deeper into him earning a loud mewl from him, leaving him panting and drooling on the couch. You tapped on his cheeks drawing his attention back towards you – “Now now kitty~ you can’t break yet..” You turned up the vibrations of both vibrators. The tears threatening to fall from the corner of the boy’s eyes started raining down, the room being filled with loud mewls and moans; so loud that you were convinced you both were getting a noise complaint after this.

You circled your slim fingers around the plastic piece in his hold. The crying kitty turned around to look back at you with pitiful teary eyes expecting you were gonna take it out; instead you shoved your fingers from the small sneaky space that you could get from the stretched now-filled hole. “Fuck.. you’re so tight baby..” and that was it. The boy screamed out loud feeling the knot in his stomach snap as he came again squirting all over the couch. “Fuck… so much..” you didn’t hear any whining or reply from the boy; you moved away the sweaty bangs on his forehead sticking onto his forehead – he’s passed out. Oh welp it was quite reasonable considering today’s activity. You let out a chuckle and moved him over a bit, covering him with a thin shirt and headed to the bathroom to grab some towels.

#&team #andteam #&team imagines #&team scenarios #&team fanfic #&team x reader #&team hard thoughts #&team hard hours #&team smut #&team yuma #nakakita yuma #🤍 anon

[serickswrites]

Hook, Line, and Sinker VIII

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Warnings: captivity, torture, restraints, blood, gun, gunshot, mcd, escape, survivor's guilt

Caretaker couldn't stop staring at something they caused. Couldn't stop staring at the worst thing that ever happened to them. Couldn't stop staring at the shell of the one thing they loved above all others. Caretaker couldn't stop staring at Whumpee's body.

Whumper had recuffed Caretaker to the wall. They had dragged the chair Whumpee was bound to over to Caretaker, just out of reached. "I think you should bask in the glory of your choices, Caretaker," Whumper snickered as they positioned Whumpee's head so Caretaker could stare directly into the lifeless eyes. They stepped back and admired their work and Caretaker's complete desolation. "They sure are something, aren't they."

"Please," Caretaker said hoarsely. "Please, just kill me."

"No. I want you to live with this endless pain, Caretaker. I want you to know that you did this. I wasn't going to kill, Whumpee, you know. Your choice left me with no other option. Your choice killed them."

"You....You killed them," Caretaker growled, finally tearing their gaze from Whumpee's face. "You did this."

Whumper stared down at Whumper. "I merely responded. You are the reason Whumpee is dead."

With a growl, Caretaker launched themself at Whumper. They moved with a ferocity and rage that they had not known they were capable of. Caretaker quickly slipped their broken thumb through the cuffs and attacked Whumper.

Whumper attempted to defend themself, their fingers scrabbling at the back of Caretaker's hands. But Caretaker never stopped. They kept going. Even as Whumper reached for the gun in their waistband. Caretaker just moved faster. Moved without thinking. Suddenly the gun went off in their hand. Went off and Whumper's eyes went wide.

Caretaker could feel Whumper's blood on their hands. Could feel the rage they still felt, even as Whumper collapsed and didn't move. This was not justice. Whumper deserved so much more pain and suffering than Caretaker could give.

They looked down at their blood covered hands. There was so much blood on their hands. Killing Whumper had not absolved them of the guilt. Whumpee. Whumpee was dead because of them. Caretaker released their other hand from the cuff and finally looked up.

Whumpee. Whumpee was well and truly dead. "Oh, God, Whumpee," Caretaker sobbed as they dropped to their knees in front of Whumpee. With a shaking hand, Caretaker cupped Whumpee's cooling cheek. "I am so sorry."

Caretaker carefully, slowly released Whumpee from the bonds keeping them to the chair. Whumpee's body slumped over as Caretaker worked. "I'm sorry, so sorry. Please. I'm sorry," Caretaker repeated over and over as they released Whumpee.

Caretaker stared down at the face they loved above all others. "I'm going to get you out of here. Hang on, Whumpee." Caretaker took one last look into Whumpee's eyes, hoping to find the spark of life in there. But Whumpee's eyes were empty and lifeless. Caretaker closed Whumpee's eyes and carefully lifted them.

As Whumpee hung limply in Caretaker's arms, Caretaker pressed their lips to the top of Whumpee's head, sobs wracking their body. "I am so sorry, Whumpee. I'm getting you out of here. I've got you. I've got you."

And though Caretaker walked out of Whumper's compound, Whumpee held close in their arms, part of Caretaker remained in the compound. Part of Caretaker had died with Whumpee. And Caretaker couldn't carry that out any more than they could bring Whumpee back. But they were free. Whumper was dead. Whumpee was dead.

Whumpee was dead and it was all their fault. Whumpee was dead because Caretaker had fallen for Whumper's trap. Twice. Once when Whumper lured them to the compound. And once when Caretaker believed they could break free. They had fallen for two traps. Fallen hook, line, and sinker.

@whumperofworlds@mefattortoise@gala1981@whumpy-bi@whump321@st0rmm@sowhumpful@writing-i-like-dump@bookworm7543@keeper-of-all-the-random-things@whumpitywhumpwhump @elisabethrosewrites

@written-by-jayy @lthrboy @whumppmuhw @bookinmyhandbloodontheknife @jdlite

#serickswrites #whump #whumpblr #whump writing #whump community #tw captivity #tw restraints #tw torture #tw blood #tw gun #tw gunshot #tw mcd #escape #tw survivor's guilt #queue

[metvmorqhoses]

If Alina’s hatred for Aleksander felt a little too contrived and compensating then perhaps that’s exactly what it was? Her character this season came off as someone desperate to prove herself; she was steamrolling ahead with blinders on and covering her ears at anything that challenged her (her goal of tearing down the fold and tada! happily ever after). It would make sense then that whatever feelings she has for Aleksander would be deeply suppressed and instead used as fuel in her anger towards him since she isn’t someone yet who is ready to deal with the messy nuance of the world she’s in and it’s contradictions, much less the complications of her own feelings. I do think Mal is boring but he wasn’t wrong for breaking up with her since he realizes he doesn’t really know who Alina is anymore. Aleksander on the other hand does know her in a way that only a soulmate can (“I have never turned away. I never will”). This whole season he was unhinged but in that desperation was a genuine worry for her. He wanted her to understand where he was coming from because he’s walked her path, he’s known what it is to hope and want to be a hero, and the inevitable heartbreak and pain it causes. It seems like he wanted to her to skip over that painful step if he could just get through to her. Unfortunately it is something she has to go through to grow. If season 2 was her stubbornly naive self in full mode, then hopefully season 3 shows us a more mature Alina who struggles to balance power and what it means. I don’t expect her to ever fully be on Aleksander’s side but I would like to see the understanding and at time’s tenderness, she feels towards him that was missing this season. Sorry I know this is nothing new to you but I’m still processing this season and always love your thoughts! An aside, Aleksander letting Alina kill him even while deeply disagreeing with her on a political and philosophical level, and still being amazed by her light as he marvels at “blue skies” killed me. I don’t care what anyone says really does love her.

From a pure storytelling point of view, this season and specifically Alina's arc (whatever it might be and under whichever lenses we might choose to look at it) was a writing failure. There is sadly no escaping that. It was crass, nonsensical, exaggerated, dull, colourless, problematic.

Even conceding her over-the-top and baffling behaviour was indeed done on purpose, no talented writer in their right mind could have possibly thought that good protagonist material, not even for the most black-and-white, simplest children's saga - especially having for canon a far more complex and valid characterization from the literary source (I can't believe I'm typing this, but here we are).

The fact that they managed to produce the worst books-to-show adaptation I've probably ever seen out of fear of a bunch of woke American mums and teens is genuinely disturbing.

This said, there are ways a good writer could salvage this, twisting this into sense and depth even, and you listed a lot of good points in this regard.

This idiocy galore could indeed be spun as Alina's hubris and blindness, her inexperience even, backfiring at her. It could absolutely be the arc that led to the wall she had to crush into in order to listen to what Aleksander was trying to warn her about, the proverbial finger children have to put into the fire themselves before believing it burns.

I could even raise the bar a notch and state that, psychologically speaking, when someone who isn't intelligent enough to understand their own being in denial is frustrated and angry with themselves, they funnily tend to project their own self-hatred and fury upon the person they trust the most and in general hold most dear. And this, even if I'm sure it wasn't absolutely intended, strikes me as particularly true regarding their dynamic in season two: no matter what Aleksander told her, no matter how much sense it made, no matter the obvious honesty of the feelings he was showing her (he opened a lot with her this last season despite her stubborn deafness, almost as if he had wanted to make up for the previous pretences and half-truths), she did nothing but choose him as her universal scapegoat and, quite absurdly, right because he was still the person she unconsciously felt closest to.

He was still her mentor and lifeline even the moment she decided to blindly sacrifice him on the altar of her own naive self-righteousness and hypocrisy. And he let her. Even in death, he wanted to serve the purpose of teaching her a lesson, open her eyes, and I don't think that ultimately, deep down, this truth completely escaped her.

A good writer would use all this to build season three. But I've honestly lost all hope at this point.

What I really don't think could be savaged is who Alina has time and time again proved to be as a person - she is someone who is in her twenties but has the brain of a not-particularly-bright infant; she is someone with the emotional capability of a rock; she isn't capable of complex thoughts, but above all she is self-centred and ignorant even when her personal life experiences should have at the very least taught her otherwise. I didn’t like her before, but now she is honestly ruined for me as a character. Aleksander deserved much better than her. He is everything she'll never be.

#darklina #shadow and bone #the darkling #aleksander morozova #dark alina #sab metas #one and one thousand stories lis told #anon #asks/replies

[scaryhaven]

The first three episodes I found Ed's struggle extremely relatable, hard to watch, and upsetting, but with a little time I was eventually able to process it, and analyze what happened, and the trauma he's gone through. But, you know who i can barely allow myself to think about right now? Izzy. I acknowledge i am biased, but i cant even imagine the amount of pain he is in by the end of episode 3. Ed and Stede knew each other for a fraction of the time that Izzy and Ed knew each other. He's dedicated most of his life to this man who ended up abusing him, belittling him, and essentially tried to kill him, but despite that, Izzy was not able to end Eds life, it wasn't until the crews lives were in danger that he finally allowed Ed to be "put down" without intervening. Even though he didn't kill Ed himself, the amount of guilt he must feel for letting the love of his life be killed right before his eyes, unable to protect him, for having been unable to stop Eds erratic moods in the first place, having been unable to make him happy, and in general, was not enough for Ed, when Ed was all that Izzy ever needed. He's a failure in every way that matters to him. Now, imagine the amount of agony he must be in, loyalty to Ed has been such a big part of Izzy's character, and probably even a measure of his self worth is found in his ability to stick by the greatest pirate ever known, and having the mental fortitude to wade through all the hardship that comes with that. i fully believe that without Edward, Izzy isn't certain of who he is. (Stede is Ed's lighthouse, and Ed is Izzy's anchor) He's an unmoored ship at this point. I've always felt like Izzy's real job is less about being a pirate and more about being Ed's protector specifically. And if Ed's dead, then he doesn't have a job anymore and for someone like Izzy, who is always focused on work and doing it properly, if he has no job, he has no purpose; his life is already over. We saw him attempt to end his life, whether it was because of the emotional or physical pain, its clear that he is dealing with suicidal thoughts, and that breaks my heart.

But the real part I'm struggling with is the way that Ed and Izzy differ in how their suicidal thoughts are exemplified. Ed was showing everyone just how bad it was, he was abusing and scaring everyone, until of course it all manifests in that final ride into the storm, where its clear he's serious, its very loud, and ostentatious, and he's begging for an end, or even help, if possible. But Izzy, Izzy keeps it to himself, he drinks alone, he cries silent tears, and when the others do see him cry, he tries to brush it off as if its not happening at all. He doesn't seek comfort from others or from warm soup, he doesn't attempt to hurt others, he curls up in on himself, and tells Stede "Go on Bonnet, give me your worst" fully expecting to be further abused, rather than empathized with. on top of it all, he's also a heartbroken man, who now fully understands that Stede and Ed are actually in love, and all these years, he never had a chance. Despite all that turmoil inside, he doesn't make a show of his trauma, or how broken he is, he doesn't make it as plainly clear as Ed did, that he actually does need help, he does need love, he doesn't even try because he doesn't think he would receive any, nor does he think he deserves it. To me there's nothing sadder than someone suffering in silence while surrounded by people that could and would help if asked. Izzy has instead put himself in a box away from others, and all I want is for him to get to a place where he can accept the love that is exactly what he needs, rather than being loved as best as one can.

#izzy hands #israel hands #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #meta #i hope this doesnt come across as hate for ed or something cuz thats not it at all! his pain and the crews is very real #i just have a soft spot for characters like Izzy <3 i havent been looking through his tags yet cuz i cant see him. it hurts too much Q.Q

[athousandbyeol]

discussion #3 (only friends): each other's first true love— a topmew downfall

according to p'force and first, only friends is scheduled to air around the mid of august or early september. it's likely to be true because they're currently at the 19th q, which indicates there are only a few q's left before they wrap the shooting process. (i think, maybe, the official trailer will drop around the first week of august [which is next week, omo], and i'm preparing myself for the utmost worst). p'jojo also hinted the draft is looking good, so, yeah //screams).

we get updates from the official twitter page of only friends, the director (mostly p'nine), and other staff working on this drama. mainly, we get glimpses of topmew's (seemingly) domestic dates, and i'm honestly delighted to see them smiling. i think every topmew apologist (not just mew or top, hahaha) is content with the domesticity they're showing.

however, i guess by now, it's in my nature to look at the darker side of topmew's bright exterior. every picture comes with a daunting realisation that there will be pain, and that pain will hurt not just topmew but everyone rooting for them.

so, in this post, i would like to lightly touch on how topmew are each other's first true love and the implication of their blossoming affection on their fragile relationship.

a brief preface of mew and top's love life

mew

so, our angel baby mew, (i think i'm a mew apologist so he's very precious and baby-coded in my eyes), according to boston, has one of the dullest love (and sex) lives ever. how can a fourth-year university student, a senior, has never been laid? well, i don't quite understand that perspective because i'm just like mew but we'll just leave it there.

mew is speculated as:

someone who's never been in a romantic relationship.

(possibly) a virgin.

doesn't care much about relationships (before boston questioned mew about it).

has a traditional understanding of romantic relationships (doesn't like the idea of a one-night stand).

top is his first boyfriend and first love (?).

thus, this is some basic information we can gather from the mock trailer about mew. can anyone relate to mew? because i do. (except i'm still single to this day tmi.)

top

oh, yes. our certified heartbreaker. i think many of us have painted top as a bad guy from the get-go, but as i've discussed in my previous post, there are so many layers to top (and mew) than what meets the eye. and let's be real, everyone is a fragment of the good and bad. so, top is too.

but let's extract some details regarding top's love life from the first trailer:

fond of one-night stands and casual/open relationships.

something must have happened to him (either in his first relationship, his sexuality (his coming-out) or his family background (strict parents, etc) that shapes top as someone who's so deprived of genuine affection.

(my guess is) top has never felt true love and empathy from his previous partners/family, not until mew.

boston's fuck buddy.

mew is (probably) his first true love.

i like to entertain the idea of top not believing in love because of his experience with his previous partners or his parents (rejecting the idea of same-sex relationship).

judging from the photos, colour grading and clothing style, i assume only friends is set in the '80s or '90s. i made this guess because p'jojo said he could feel the vibe of gay ok bangkok while filming the series (i can't find where i read this. i apologise). additionally, it's the time when lgbtq+ is still looked down upon (everywhere, but more so in asia), and so many people are struggling with their identity (from my brief reading of thailand's social history).

however, looking back at p'jojo's never let me go, i guess this won't be a pertinent issue to the whole premise of the drama. it'll only affect several characters (top is one of them).

the idea of being each other's first true love: a promise of happiness and heartbreak

in my previous discussion, i highlighted the changes topmew will experience after their first encounter. from two different worlds, there are bound to be misunderstandings and mistakes made. but, as this is a new experience for both of them, they'll make rash decisions— a break-up.

i think, when we're in our first relationship, we can't quite grasp the essence of blending and adapting to our partner's behaviours. it'll be difficult to accept some of their flaws and tolerate their downsides. without honesty and openness, a relationship can't work no matter how much we love each other. and that's the first downfall of topmew's relationship; they believe only love can save them.

top: a promise of happiness

i mainly see only positive effects happening to top. i don't know when they'll go steady, but from the photos i see, after their fateful first meeting, top is ready to let mew into his life.

personally, i'm still puzzled about top. i don't know what makes him agree to mew's "can you wait? i think we can be more than a one-night stand?" because i see him as someone who doesn't comply with anyone if it's not beneficial to him. therefore, i guess top sees mew as another 'fun' time, not quite like boston, but someone he can 'play' with. but the more he learns about mew, his heart starts beating a bit too fast and it's silly and before top knows it— he likes mew. he genuinely likes mew.

side note: i also hope the drama will emphasise on how attractive mew is. i want to be ensured that mew is so likeable and desirable that everyone (read: top and ray) can't get enough of him. i want the drama to show the alluring side of mew, with dashes of innocence and cuteness, which can convince me why top falls hard for mew and why ray can't see san the way he looks at mew.

exhibit #1: the (first) awe

both of them are wearing fond (and sated) smiles on their faces. absolutely adorable. but i notice a more gentle, subdued shine from top— he looks very enamoured. stupidly fond of mew that his eyes turn to crescents and the smile on his face oozes with astonishment. their first kiss might be really sweet (and spicy?) that top can't quite wrap his head around mew.

exhibit #2: the 'oh-oh, i like him?'

in the mock trailer, we know mew is a smart (and nerdy?) student. and because of his lack of experience in dating, he might like these cute dates (retrieved from his research/reading), which i find endearingly sweet. i assume their dates will be cafe hunting, library dates, a stroll around the park and lounging at mew's apartment (with some spice and everything nice).

it's very interesting to see top's gaze softens (and intensify with adoration) in the photos of them together. this one in particular illustrates a gear shifting in top's brain. it might be from a moment of epiphany— oh. mew is so... cute? that realisation you have when a thing/person makes you feel so happy that you start being possessive and want them all to yourself? i think top is going through that phase.

exhibit #3: the 'i'm glad it's you' look

i personally like this photo the most because it's just topmew basking in each other's presence. a casual date, just the two of them amid the crowd. two cups of juice/soda (?) on the table— green— which commonly indicates balance, harmony, and equality; a mirror to their feelings for one another.

i can't stress enough that before their downfall, at one point in their relationship, they do love each other. they really do. (i don't know why this breaks my heart to say.)

exhibit #4: the 'i'm not supposed to be jealous/angry but i am'

this photo still remains a mystery to me because i'm unsure of its story. it's either ray visits mew's apartment when topmew have just gone back from their date or topmew are in mew's apartment before ray comes over. either or, top doesn't look happy sharing the same space with ray.

perhaps topmew are ready to go on a date but ray stops them?

i guess, before top meets mew, he confronts boston. he doesn't look happy, though. and it's a pattern i'm seeing recently; top doesn't appear happy when he's with boston. this didn't happen before mew.

theories speculate that topmew and bostonnick are in the same place. it's highly likely topmew are having another (supposedly fun) date. but it's ruined when top sees boston and nick. i don't think it's out of jealousy (i hope not) from top's behalf. it's more to anger and fear because what if mew learns about top and boston— here— out of all places? of course, it's a devastation to mew.

this is new to top. he's never afraid of people. never been conscious about himself. but he's afraid of mew. why? because he loves mew, and he doesn't want mew to know he's an asshole that still has some lingering relationship with boston, mew's friend. he doesn't want mew to see that dark side of top coming to life. he can't bear the thought of losing mew because of his (hidden) persona.

from top's point of view, i can conclude that he's getting positive outcomes after encountering mew.

sidetrack: topmew's colour theory (slightly) coming to life

and i would like to add from my colour theory: top is wearing a black and white shirt in this photo— a harmony of the good and bad.

also, i would like to highlight top's shirt is dominantly white which means he's becoming/showing more of his good side after knowing mew. i'm actually proud to see top in these shades, a brighter colour. he's embracing his inner self and mew has been a lot of help. his love for mew brings him out of his dark hole.

but sadly, mew is wearing darker colours. the blue in this photo isn't entirely bright. oh.

and his bag— read me— is like a cry for honesty. mew wants nothing but honesty from top, a person he genuinely likes. but top has always been anything but honest. and that's top's biggest misstep.

mew: a promise of his first heartbreak

i'm glad we haven't seen many sad photos of topmew (as of now). it's intentional because their (possible) break-up is the climax of this story.

hence, i'm extracting still shots from the trailer because mew is visibly heartbroken while confronting top as he discovers about top and boston. but i do find it intriguing that even in the trailer, we don't see much of sad mew.

this is going to be the pinnacle of the drama: mew seeking the truth.

in this post, i've mentioned that mew will confront top at the university.

from the paleness of their faces and the red in their eyes, this is taken after their tearful confrontation. i'm so excited to see this scene unfold because forcebook broke my heart with their raw acting in a boss and a babe (ep 9, you'll forever be epic). this one will be ten times more gut-wrenching, i believe.

it's not nonchalance, but i find mew's expression so watered down? i expect him to be more volatile, in despair and bawl his eyes out after the break-up but here, he goes to the bar and has a drink or two and he just looks so aloof but nothing more?

and i think that's the scariest thing about mew. we don't know what's going on in his mind. the kindest person can be the most evil— mew's vengeance might begin shortly after this.

when the truth unfolds, a heartbreaking chaos

top will endure the hardest blow after their breakup. it's because when their relationship ends, it's when top's feelings begin to overwhelm him. he likes mew, but he can't hold onto him. why?

side note: these days, i feel sorry for top. the more i think about him, the more i understand the inner struggles he's facing. i can't really say i'm a top apologist, but i do understand him. and i want to hug him if i can.

i would like to underline that change is one of the most difficult things to do. let it be me, you or other people, only the bravest will choose a different path— diverging from normality— a route full of surprises and challenges. we're so accustomed to the comfort of simplicity and normalcy that change isn't preferable, yes?

looking from top's perspective, it's hard for him to discard his shell— a safe cacophony of his— despite coming to terms with his feelings for mew. i do want to believe top is taking baby steps to let go of his previous lifestyle, but as long as boston is still around, top can't really escape.

habits die hard— i don't know if i can call it a habit, but i think top might come back to boston just because boston feels like a second skin, once a place to stay. no matter how in love top is with mew, boston is before mew and after mew. something must've tied him around boston so tightly that top can't simply let go. he wants to, but he can't.

despite everything, top still comes back to boston. even if they no longer share the same virtues, boston has become so much of top that if letting go of boston means he's letting go of himself too.

and in top's indecisiveness lies mew's reluctance to forgive. as i've mentioned, mew's idea of a romantic relationship is somewhat naive and unrealistic. yet, it's not absurd because many of us share that ideology: first love should be beautiful, sincere and transparent.

mew handles this heartbreak with anger and so many questions because he thought love should be truthful and kind and gentle but why two of his most precious people are hurting him? mew no longer sees boston as a friend, and top is no longer the love of his life. mew's greatest downfall is his love for top and his trust for boston.

conclusion

i find the concept of first love/true love depicted from the lens of topmew to be heartbreaking. when the pictures of them having fun and enjoying their cute dates together are posted, aside from happiness, i feel an immense sadness for what's to come.

mew is top's first true love in the sense that top discovers his truest self with mew. he gradually opens up and becomes someone he's supposed to be— not need to be. mew is top's first true love in the sense that it scares top to think of the consequences— of his dishonesty to mew— of the truth coming out someday and he'll lose mew— himself— forever.

top is mew's first love in the sense that mew wants to savour every little moment with top, all the fun dates and kisses that awaken the butterflies in his stomach. top is mew's first love in the sense that he wants to pen down everything they share in his journal because mew believes this might be forever— top is his first and true love.

therefore, everything topmew is— their love— only results in two things; happiness and sadness.

side note: although i still don't know if any of my topmew speculations are true, the mock trailer indicates topmew's love story as the 'right person, wrong time'. i'm inclining to topmew's story to be sweet but tragic because it's the driving force of the series. topmew, sanray and bostonnick revolve around each other. like a domino effect, anything that happens to topmew will affect other pairs and vice versa.

to end this post, here are some bonus pictures posted by p'nine because forcebook are always the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

i'm happy to see this. although topmew might shatter, forcebook still stands— stronger and together. the picture on the left is so cute that my heart is breaking. haha

(also, ohmbook are so cute? can i manifest for an ohmbook series next year? hehe)

[1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (i) | 4 (ii) | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]

#only friends #only friends the series #only friends series #top only friends #mew only friends #topmew #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #forcebook #only friends meta #only friends discussion #only friends analysis #meta #analysis #discussion #please take this with a grain of salt #the drama is coming to us soon and i'm honestly never ready for it #this post makes me sad #i really want topmew to be happy #but... #i'm coming here just to share another silly two cents of mine haha #na discusses

[married-to-google-translater]

Who is your top 5 charaters?

Werty's official top 5 husbando list. This usually doesn't change at all.

#5 Juuzou Suzuya

This boy needs a hug. A really big and warm hug.

By the way, the important question is does Juuzou count as an albino? I only realized it while writing this.

But to the point. I really like Juuzou's backstory and how his "madness and murderousness" are given reasons. Juuzou is just a good character who has experienced hell. Just the kind of character who does "bad" things but who you still want to succeed. Also, he has a really good voice actor.

Juuzou's character is just well executed. And now I know I'm not the only one who likes to poke holes in them skin with a needle.

.

#4 Kanato Sakamaki

Kanato is just really relatable. And I don't mean that I carry a teddy bear with me inside which I keep my mother's ashes. I mean asperger traits that Kanato clearly has.

The following asperger traits are taken from the everydayhealth website, the source material can be found here.

Fascination with certain topics, Problems expressing empathy, controlling emotions, or communicating feelings, Tendency to engage in one-sided conversations (about oneself), Lack of common sense

I think these fit the Kanato character well. He doesn't understand sarcasm, is obsessively interested in his "dolls", Not really good at showing empathy or controlling his emotions, can't stand touch and assumes others think the worst of him.

And no, I'm not going to start diagnosing Kanato now. I'm just saying that he has many traits that an Asperger person can identify with.

( Honorable mention to Idia who held the #3 spot for over a year. )

#3 DOUMA

Ladies, Gentlemen and others Douma is here and he is really hot.

Werty has been a Douma simp since 2020.

Yes Douma Finally made it to this list. I have always liked Douma.

His backstory and character is just really well done. Douma has always been something that interests me. Even at the beginning, when I really hated his desing and eyebrows. But no matter what I did, I always ended up reading Douma fanfiction. I could start watching Hentai and then after half an hour I found myself reading Douma yandere writings. I still don't understand how it happened. I just really love him.

# 2 Leviathan

I remember at first I hated him too. "Once again someone is making fun of us anime/manga enthusiasts" I thought.

But the more I played the game, the more relatable Leviathan's character felt. I actually didn't even know what an Otaku was until I met him.

Leviathan also has autistic traits and is one of my comfort characters. I have never identified with any character so much. He is also funny and his voice actor does a good job.

#1 Azusa Mukami

Roses are red, violets are blue i love this masochistic vampire more than i ever can love you.

A poem I would recite to my boyfriend if he ever asked if I loved Azusa more than him. No wonder I'm single.

I have been an Azusa simp since 2018 or 2019.

And let's be clear right away that I like Azusa 100,00 times more than Leviathan. So there's really no competition for the number one spot. The day I say I love a some character more than Azusa I've lost my mind.

I love his personality, his backstory, how he really gets a lot of development throughout the game, and how masochistic he can be in creative ways. Also, the fact that Azusa thinks pain is love is really sweet.

His voice actor does a really good job and I can even listen to the English dub without internal bleeding.

Azusa is love Azusa is life

......

I guess I have a thing for characters with mental health problems.

#admin werty #diabolik lovers #azusa mukami #Kanato Sakamaki #tokyo ghoul #juuzou suzuya #obey me #leviathan #demon slayer #douma #doma #kny #kimetsu no yaiba

[cf56]

My thoughts on episode 8

SPOILERS for season 3, episode 8 of the Animaniacs reboot

Ah, time to watch another episode of Animaniacs, an episode I have definitely never seen before and definitely have not had an entire emotional breakdown over. The previews for this one got me hyped. I can't wait to see that 3D animation!

On a serious note, if you're a big fan of this episode, you probably shouldn't read this review. I'll try to avoid retreading ground I've already covered, and I'll try to keep my criticism reasonable and logical so hopefully everyone can at least see my side of things, even if you don't ultimately agree.

The episode starts off with the worst dialogue exchange ever written into Animaniacs.

It's just as shocking and painful to watch now as it was the first time. Wakko's expression here will haunt me and bring back bad memories for years to come.

This exchange is just such an impressively perfect storm of awfulness. If you changed any one thing about it, it wouldn't be so historically atrocious. It would still be bad, but not "makes me question my Animaniacs fandom" bad. What really sends it over the top for me is how Dot reacts to Wakko coming back and being alive. If she and Yakko simply greeted him cheerfully, it would be made super clear that it was entirely a joke and they were only messing around. I'd still hate it. I just wouldn't need to write a fic to cover it up. Instead, there's just no payoff. It's played straight until the end, when Dot is actually disappointed that her brother isn't actually dead. It's so unnecessarily overbearing. I know the entire thing is supposed to be sarcasm, but like... where's the joke? What's supposed to be funny about it? Haha, we don't value our brother and would be better off without him, but we don't actually mean it! Oh no, he's not actually dead, but I'm only being sarcastically disappointed over it. You can laugh now.

You know, I actually take it back. Dot's disappointment didn't really seem sarcastic at all. It just felt mean-spirited, straight up.

They had to realize something was wrong here. They specifically made it so Wakko didn't hear or react to what his siblings were saying. At least subconsciously, they knew that if Wakko heard it, the cruelty of the whole thing would be amplified tenfold. And it was already pretty damn amplified. Wakko not hearing it doesn't make this moment any better for the characters of Yakko and Dot.

I think these Warners are the real alien imposters, not the ones we saw in episode 6. They're implanted by aliens or the studio to make poor Wakko think he isn't loved.

It's pretty funny to hear the Warners say "Jackass Monkey" so casually.

No, Yakko, you are not technically a boomer. Baby boomers were born from 1946 to 1964. You were born in 1929, making you a member of the Silent Generation. (Ironic, isn't it?) Also, it doesn't even make a difference, since Wakko is the same age as you by that logic, and he clearly loves video games. Hey, you were the one who wanted to be technical about it.

Lore item: I believe this is our first confirmation ever that the Warners have red blood flowing through their veins, and not just ink or nothing. So, if they bled, they would canonically bleed red. Just a thought for all you angsty fan creators out there...

They also have real, organic organs and are not just inky blobs all the way through.

I thought the easter eggs were cool. Some folks probably didn't like them because they felt like teases for segments we never really got in the reboot, but I was fine with it.

Slappy still in the process of giving Chicken Boo that beating two seasons later.

I thought the 3D animation looked really nice. I was genuinely super excited to see it before the episode came out, and I hoped that the main thing I'd be doing was pausing to admire the animation. Other things overshadowed that, unfortunately.

On their own, the Wakko smells jokes would be fine. It's the kind of teasing that's in-bounds for the Warners, and this isn't the first time they've made fun of such a thing. Combined with what happened earlier, though, it just feels like the Wakko abuse keeps piling up. It feels like someone writing the episode randomly decided to choose Wakko as a target to pick on for the entire episode, and by proxy that makes it feel like Yakko and Dot randomly decided to choose Wakko as a target to pick on for the entire episode. It makes them feel like bullies. It's the total opposite of how their dynamic should be- take a few innocent jabs at your siblings, sure, but 99% of the harsh teasing should be directed outside of the group.

On a positive note, Wakko sticking his tongue out in 3D is really cute.

"Warner Brothers has STANDARDS! Well, not artistic standards, obviously."

Obviously...

Now, I said before that Yakko's apology to Wakko was a flimsy cop out, but I never went into detail on why I felt that way.

Let me be clear. If you removed the dialogue at the beginning at the episode, Yakko's apology would be a great sibling moment. I mean, reboot Yakko actually verbally expressing that he cares about Wakko? I'd be freaking out in a positive way. If it only happened after a couple jokes about Wakko's scent, it would be good.

However, taking into account everything that's happened, how Wakko has been a target to ruthlessly pick on since the instant the episode first started, the apology feels condescending and insincere to me.

If we got to the point that sweet, oblivious Wakko actually felt the need to call out his older brother, who he idolizes, over always picking on him, you know it's already pretty bad. He even points out one of the primary issues with it- Yakko is punching down when he makes fun of Wakko. Wakko is his little sibling who he's supposed to protect and support.

Yakko then responds with the same logic a schoolyard bully uses. "Come on, can't you take a joke?" The bully says, after making a target out of this one kid for the entire schoolyear. You might call it an overreaction to compare Yakko to a bully here. For one, I'm only using an example to show why this moment doesn't hit for me. Secondly, at least I had the sense to edit out the lines where I compared him to an abuser. Thirdly, I agree. It's a tragedy that I'm comparing Yakko to a bully right now. Wakko spoke up to try to defend himself against his siblings, and Yakko's response wasn't to genuinely apologize and promise to stop doing it- it was to justify his behavior and dig in deeper. Sibling teasing is sibling teasing, but if your family member who you love has to actually come up to you and tell you point blank that it's going too far, and you refuse to see the error of your ways, that's when it's really gone too far.

The last reason this is a flimsy apology- if this is how you express your love for Wakko, because picking on him is easier than saying you care, then why don't you do the same to Dot? There's still clearly favoritism being shown here towards one sibling, which is awful. Also, it's not how you show your affection. We've seen how Yakko shows affection. We've seen it explicitly, and it's nothing like this. Go watch Wakko's Wish if you don't know what I'm talking about.

I at least appreciate that they always kept the Warners as one unit and didn't ever have them fight each other.

I did find the echoed "d'ah"s to be funny, even as I was watching this the first time with my soul being ripped in two.

I didn't watch Starbox and Cindy the first time around, so as far as I'm concerned this is the entire new episode for me this time. I thought it was clever how they had a battle over lights in a child's room. I thought it was sad how Starbox has been Stockholm Syndromed into loving the self-admitted scary monster.

Through 8 episodes, there have been as many Starbox and Cindy segments as there have been Warner songs.

I feel like the Gold Warners had more potential than this. The concept of alternate copies of the Warners for the Warners to battle is interesting, but the problem is that these copies are nothing like the regular Warners. They don't talk, so you can't actually have an interesting battle of personalities that would naturally make up a Warner vs. Warner fight.

Wakko defending Dot is a GOLDEN sibling moment. But... you know what I'm about to say. I would freak out and cherish this moment forever in almost any other context. In the context it's been given, it only makes me kind of sad. Because Wakko still has a heart of gold, Wakko still stays loyal and true to his siblings, even when they have thoroughly proven they don't deserve it. And even when Wakko steps up to defend his siblings, and ends up being the one to save the day and show them how to get out of there, they don't even mention it afterwards. They don't apologize for how they treated him. They don't thank him for saving them. If there was only some kind of payoff at the very end, it would be at least a little palatable. There just isn't. Wakko is the only Warner who comes out of this episode looking like a good sibling. It just gives me the image of my mind of Yakko and Dot as bullies to their innocent brother who loves them unconditionally despite everything they've done to him, which is not even close to how the Warners should be in reality or how they're portrayed in any other episode.

Just Ralph being a better friend to Wakko than his own siblings in this episode:

I guess I should briefly talk about the video game characters in this episode.

Honestly, the best part about them was their names and character designs.

In this episode, Wakko:

-Heard his sister celebrating his death

-Still happily interacted with his sibs immediately after and got them into something that makes him happy

-Sat around and took care of the tower by himself for six months while his sibs played his favorite video game, not even playing with them or being able to talk to them at all

-After Yakko and Dot came back to consciousness, Yakko immediately physically fought with him over the privilege of being player 1

-Got a lame special move compared to his siblings

-Got his smell constantly made fun of by his own siblings

-Had to call Yakko out over it and got a paper-thin "apology" as a response

-Defends his sister, despite everything, by hurting himself. This is the second time in the episode he's gotten smashed by his own mallet.

-Fights with Ralph over the remote as soon as he gets out so he can save his siblings from the game

-Does not even get a hug or a smile from his siblings once they're out due to his heroics. At least, not one we were shown.

This episode is frustrating. There's so much good about it. The animation is so cool. There are funny jokes. There are multiple great sibling moments on a level above anything else we've explicitly seen in the reboot. If only that first minute was cut completely, I would consider this a great episode. It wasn't cut, unfortunately, and it drags everything else down with it. Doesn't it almost feel like the writers of this episode put in a bunch of wholesome sibling moments, realized they didn't want to give us that much, and decided to "balance it out" with all that awfulness? If that is the case, I hate it even more. They simply don't understand what we want from these characters. Is it fair to say an entire episode is bad because of one horrible dialogue at the very start? Honestly, I don't really care. That dialogue doesn't just drag down this episode. It drags down the season, the reboot, and my entire Animaniacs fandom. I can't help how I feel.

I don't think, even after everything I've said, that you guys understand the true depth of the effect this episode has had on me. When I was first spoiled over the infamous lines, I was at a point where I was feeling more passionate over Animaniacs and writing than I had since I first started all of this. I had just finished reading a fic, Don't You Forget About Me, that destroyed me in the good, angsty kind of way. That fic is about the Warners being magically made to forget about one another. It tore me apart to read about their relationships being destroyed so easily in the fic, to see them turned against each other. When I read that spoiler, back in early January, it was like it had all come true. What meaning does it have to read about them forgetting about each other when they apparently never had much care for each other in the first place? All the deep feelings I was feeling over that fic completely disappeared, in literally an instant. I went back to read it, and I felt nothing. (Through no fault of the fic- it's still really great.) At the time, I had an angsty one shot in the works, I was getting progress on so many fics at once. Reading that spoiler killed all that passion in an instant. Put simply, if this dialogue never existed, you would have gotten about 4-5 more fanfic releases from me over the past month than you actually got. I've barely touched any of those WIPs since.

Despite all the good, I can't ever forgive this episode for what it did to me. It has been super touching to feel all the love from the fandom after I expressed my emotions over this episode. It's nice to know we're in the same boat. Even after all of that, even with all the good in this episode, if I had the option to erase it from existence completely, to make it as if it never happened, would I do it?

Yes. In a heartbeat. I'm still not sure if my fandom will recover from what this episode did to me.

If you're a defender of that dialogue, I want you to know that I respect your opinion. I also want you to know that we're simply not on the same wavelength when it comes to how we view this show and its characters. Could those lines be classified as just harmless sibling banter? Maybe in your sibling relationship, but not in mine. It's been a little insulting to me to see the few out there who have claimed that only those without siblings would take issue over these lines. I've watched 133 episodes of Animaniacs and one movie. I've dedicated half my life to this show. I can tell you that what the Warners did here is not even close to in-character for them. To me, it truly feels like Yakko and Dot were replaced by unfeeling aliens for an episode.

Was this the least entertaining episode of Animaniacs ever? Far from it. If you showed this season to someone off the street who's never seen Animaniacs, they almost certainly wouldn't rank this episode as the worst of all of them. They'd probably rank it as one of the best. 90% of it is good, after all. 5% of it is mindblowingly bad. If someone who hasn't watched Animaniacs before saw this episode and only this episode, what impression would they get of the sibling relationship between Yakko, Wakko, and Dot? To me, they'd come off as bullies to the one true-hearted member of the group, Wakko, and that's heartbreaking to think about. So, while I gave it some thought, I can't do it. I can't rank this episode anywhere other than last. I hope to God that it stays there.

My current ranking of season 3 episodes:

Episode 6

Episode 3

Episode 7

Episode 4

Episode 2

Episode 1

Episode 5

Episode 8

Feel free to add to the never-ending discussion over this episode if you want, but don't say anything about any of the episodes that come after. They're all I have left to look forward to.

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#animaniacs #animaniacs season 3 #animaniacs reboot #animaniacs 2020 #animaniacs screenshots #animaniacs analysis #animaniacs spoilers #animaniacs episode 8 #cfposts

[aidoneuswrite]

"𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐄"

ㅡcw: pre shibuya arc, implied mc death, time loop au

ㅡa/n: leave any comments or feedback in the comments ! love you all &lt;3

chapter i.

His hands were always calloused and rough, yet to me it was the most gentle hand I've ever placed my own in. His hands bore the blood of many curses the same as me and all the other sorcerers, but his face looked so innocent and his smile would melt all your problems away. It was only if you truly looked deep in those eyes that you would see all the suffering he upheld. All the pain and loss he had to endure so early into his life. 

How?

 How can someone still smile and laugh after everything that was done to him? After all the people he lost and all the many wounds and burdens he carried? 

That’s what intrigued me about Itadori. I envied his optimism. No. I merely wanted to be able to see the world through his eyes. See the world in a different perspective, one that might show worthwhile things.

His optimism brought the best out in others and in one way or another I feel like he brought it out of me as well. For that I will always be grateful. 

With our fingers intertwined we continued our way to the local park. The evening air was crisp and just a faint smell of rain that was soon to come. Training ended later in the day which meant we had the rest of the evening to ourselves. I guess looking at it from an outside perspective one would say we were on a date.

A simple, easy going couple…

But they’d be wrong.

A couple is tied together. Each other's paths are woven and intertwined as one. A couple is by the other's side and supporting one another through the toughest battles. A couple isn’t afraid to show affection. Stick by the other side through thick and thin. A couple says and shows their i love you ’s. 

We…

We are not a couple.

We could never be a couple.

And we can never say i love you .

Because if those simple three words were to leave one of our mouths, everything would go to chaos. It would make us official, it would make this real, but worst of all it would make the inevitable future even more agonizing for the both of us. 

So we can’t be more than what we are now. Whatever that may be.

We finally arrived at our usual spot just away from all the food stalls and citizens. It was a rather old bridge, but still sturdy as ever. Forestry covered around us leaving the sounds of nature to be our only company. The wind was tame today and the temperature dropped as the minutes passed us. By the looks of the gray clouds it was most definitely going to rain. Maybe we should cut our hangout short. There is always next week and who knows maybe Gojo will give us yet another “rest day”. It seems like he’s been giving those out a lot. Probably just another excuse so he can laze around like he always does.

Only minutes pass before Yuuji breaks the silence.

❝ Fushiguro❞ he spoke just barely above a whisper. 

Sure Yuuji could be quiet and soft spoken at times, but this time．．．this time it felt different.

𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔.

I turned to face him and just as I expected, his eyes were averted and seemingly avoidant. His face was painted with pain and his fists were clenched so tightly his knuckles were turning pale. Yuuji was always so happy and full of energy when we went out, but not today. I should have noticed it sooner, he really isn’t okay. I should say 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. 

❝ What happened ？❞  

It wasn’t much to say, but the sooner we get to the point the sooner I can help him. 

❝ Wha- I was working up to saying it ！❞ 

Itadori stuttered out. His face twisted with nervousness and hesitancy as he fidgeted with his hands. It was almost cute．．．

I placed my hand on top of his hoping to assist with the anxiety as I waited for him to continue.

❝ We found the last of them…of Sukuna’s fingers. ❞ he eyes swelled up with tears just barely holding in. 

In an instant the atmosphere shifted and the air felt as if it closed around our bodies. It was suffocating. My heart felt as if it was being strangled by the hands of something else. Not letting go and only squeezing harder and harder. As if I would intake a breath it would only tighten more and just as fast my body would collapse all together. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, hell I probably haven’t even blinked. All I could do was stare into his gentle eyes that illuminated like a malt mountain gaze. They were always full of life and positivity even with the circumstances he had faced in life. It was admirable, really. But on the same hand it was also heartbreaking. He carries so much in his heart and shoulders others burdens along with his own. And someday that will also be the reason for his demise. But that’s always how Itadori lives. 

That will never change.

❝ So it’s finally…happening ? ❞ 

Just as the words escaped my mouth I wanted to take them back. Keep them buried so deep inside that eventually they would disappear forever. As long as the words weren’t spoken then the reality of the situation won’t come to light…right? It can’t be real. I can’t accept it. It’s unfair.

❝ Yes. ❞ 

Please don’t let this be real.

Please. Please. Please. PLEASE.

At that very moment even prayers and calling out to any god or any deity was on the table. Whatever it takes to just give me more time. That’s all I ask for. 

Am I really asking for much?

Taking a step closer I grasped both his hands into my own. Shifting my head down facing the floor. Looking Itadori in the face was too unbearable. I knew if I looked up he would be flashing that stupid smile of his and it would absolutely kill me. How could he be so accepting of what’s at stake? How is he so calm? How?! 

I couldn’t tell if it was me shaking or him. Hell it very well could be the both of us. And before I could even realize tears were spilling out of me. Landing on our interlooped hands. The hands that held one another. That fought curses. That carried wounds and love.

  Tears on the pavement where we would stand for hours just to get away from it all and be us. Just the two of us and the empty sky. To talk about anything and everything without the fear of judgment or aversion. Merely two young lovers finally feeling serenity and tranquility for even just a brief moment in the safe company of each other. 

Yuuji's arms wrapped around my body, balling his fists with the back of my shirt. He was trembling just as much as I was. Anguish filled both our hearts knowing the reality of the situation. There was no other way this could go. There’s no solution. No happy ending.

 No more time.

He’s been dead since the beginning.

I was too weak, too slow to figure something out. If there was even a solution out there. I didn’t work hard enough! I could have fixed this! I could have done something . 

 My knees felt weak as if they could give out at any moment. Agony pressed unyielding in my chest trying to escape in a fit of painful screams. 

Was I really this useless? I couldn’t even save the one I truly loved.

So what does that make me?

Pathetic excuses of exhales escaped my lips as I tried to fathom words, but all I could let myself speak out was what Yuuji deserved to hear.

❝ I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger. ❞

chapter ii

#jjk #jjkau #jjk hurt/comfort #jjk angst #angst #time loop #megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #yuji itadori #jjk itadori

[aickerman-s]

Hello again👋

Hey all, long time no see.

For those who uhhhhh still remember me lol, I wanted to write a little update post on where I've been/why I disappeared etc.

So, I've probably not logged on to tumblr for about a year and there's many reasons for that. I've been debating whether or not to explain them at all for a while now, but I think I wanted to just get it out there and be open about stuff for a bit. This blog, and this community has meant a lot to me over the years, and the support I got from it all in my writing is more important to me than y'all know.

Basically, there's a (very!) good/positive reason that I've been away, and also a not-so-good one. Details below:

First, the good reason! The very good exciting awesome amazing reason: I got my dream writing job! I had the amazing opportunity to work as a video game writer on a project I'm so proud of and so incredibly grateful to have been a part of. Understandably, I was quite busy with that for the better part of 2023! The game is out now, and if anyone would like the link/to learn more about it please feel free to send me a dm! (Like, please, I'd love to brag about it!) Not going to post the link publically simply because I've always preferred to keep my blog free of irl/professional details, etc.

Some of you may remember I was briefly part of another game project a few years ago as lead writer, which fell through. Ever since I've been trying to get my first published credit, and now I have it <3 I'm a professional writer!!! 🥳 I'm very proud of the work we did, and I hope some of y'all will try it out!

But if working two jobs for most of the year wasn't enough, there's been something else that's kept me in a strange place this year - the not-so-good reason I've been quiet. This one is a bit more personal, and something I didn't want to reveal until now: content warning here, for both physical and mental health discussion.

Nearly two years ago now, I developed some rather debilitating symptoms of an unknown medical condition. While I've had chronic pain from another condition for most my life, the symptoms this new condition left me with were, quite frankly, terrifying. And terrifyingly, they appeared pretty much overnight. While I don't want to get into all the details, I've had to change and adapt a lot of things in my life to try and come to terms with this new normal - because sadly, these symptoms have not went away.

For the first 10/11 months or so of this condition, I was pretty much brute forcing my way through it - trying to tough my way through life as normal as if everything wasn't suddenly so much harder than it already was. About a year ago, I reached a breaking point. I had been hoping that all of this was just temporary, and was beginning to see that it wasn't.

While I had started the incredibly long and draining process of tests, hospital and doctor's appointments to try and investigate my condition, I realised at the start of 2023 that I had also become scarily depressed. I've struggled with and overcome depression before in my life, but this felt like so much uncharted territory. To be perfectly honest, I've always been proud of my own willpower and determination when dealing with depression in the past, but this year was the closest I've ever felt to truly giving up.

...And that's scary to admit - to myself, let alone anyone reading this! But admitting it pushed me into seeking the extra support I needed (therapy) throughout this journey. And a journey it is - while I'm much better mentally than I was in January, and I'm now on some medication to help alleviate the worst symptoms of my condition, my diagnosis is still a ways off. In the meantime, I've been coming to terms with the changes I've needed to make in my life, and the ones still to come.

It's been a lot, this year, trying to juggle a new disability and a new dream job - on top of the old job, poor mental health, and the complexity of coming to terms with the word 'disability'. There were times throughout the year when I wanted to open up tumblr and just browse through some rivamika internet goodness.

But I couldn't. My perfectionism and imposter syndrome and all these other factors led to me putting quite a lot of pressure on myself - every time I thought about tumblr I thought "I can't log on, I don't have any new chapters to post; I haven't responded to people's messages; it's already been way too long since I've updated; I'm such a terrible fanfic writer I've been inconsistent for years; I'm not allowed to log on unless I update a fic, and even then I'll have to apologise for being so late-".

So, I didn't. In all the weirdness I managed to convince myself that I would come back to... I don't know, interrogations or something 😂 It sounds quite silly now that I type it out. But I'm in a better place now, and I'm hoping I can get back to the no-pressure fun of writing fics soon.

As for my fanfics, would you believe me anymore if I said I still plan to finish them? 😂 I've even had drafts of the next chapters of both A Man, in a Bar and Fear and Fidelity sitting here for ages, but I'd managed to convince myself they weren't good enough to post. I've been thinking about them a lot lately, which is a good sign I think. I've been itching to write Levi and Mikasa again. So while I won't make any promises or such about updates/schedules or whatever, I just wanted to let it be known that I still want to continue these stories. (If I, and the readers, can even remember what happened in them😅). I might even take some prompts soon to get back into the swing of things!

But yeah... that's my update! It's probably the most personal I've ever gotten on this blog, and I hope that's okay. I felt like I needed it - to clear the air, of sorts. I sincerely hope everyone in this lil' community has been doing well, and is having a safe and happy holiday season. Thanks for reading, if you've managed to get through this big personal post! I love and appreciate everyone I've interacted with through this blog, and hope to get back into it again <3

#personal #long post #cw: health #cw: mental health #hope this explains my abscence and infequency #apologies to anyone I might have totally ghosted over the last year or so #😅

[ohmypreciousgirl]

OffGun Rec List

A rec list with my favorite OffGun fics for my sweetheart who asked for good fics ♥

I nearly lost you 67,904 [Note: it might be marked as WIP, but the OffGun part is finished] Gun is not right there when it happens. He just turned away from Off for a few seconds and the next time he sees him, he is bleeding out on the floor. Someone shot him right there in public. What follows is a long painful journey for both of them. Will it bring them closer together?

Rise Up 29,244 “So?” Off prompted as he leaned forward, way closer than necessary because he had come to love fighting Gun with his own weapons – teasing and flirting.

But Gun, still a little wide-eyed, kept his lips shut, his phone now pressed tightly to his chest with the display towards himself.

Unperturbed, Off pressed him further. “Why are you so secretive now? What was it about?”

Getting Together 'verse 8,160 A sweet and lazy morning that changes some things in their relationship.

what's the problem, baby? 6,717 Gun just realized that Papii was feeling lonely and that he has to do something about it.

maybe someday 3,605 It's a beautiful and fun ceremony, and Off is really happy for their friends, but he can't help his mind from imagining him and Gun doing the same thing one day.

The Panty Bag Curse 8,551 It all started with a shopping bag. A bag that’s now cursed him in the worst imaginable ways. There wasn’t anything strange about the bag. In fact, it was so utterly normal that Off didn’t even flinch when Gun Atthaphan handed it to him while they were on a break. He’d taken a swig of water from his bottle, popped open the bag to peer inside, and then he immediately choked on his drink.

“Papii, is everything ok?” Gun screeched, patting his back in a panic.

“Uh…uh,” he failed to respond. He coughed, clearing his throat, and then made the mistake to look down into the bag again and he felt his whole face burn. No, he’d hoped he had imagined the whole thing. But now that he had a second look, there was no mistaking it.

Gun had handed him a bag filled with lacey, silky, frilly panties.

make a wish 7,786 Off’s birthday wish is granted in an unexpected way.

Dick the Halls 2,069 Several drinks later, Off and Gun find themselves inside a closet making out.

Sweat[er] 6,573 Gun decides to deep-clean Off’s closet and finds an abandoned knitted sweater inside. He wants to know about it but after Off’s suspicious reaction they somehow change the subject and suddenly Off’s clothes aren’t the only thing that ends up on Off’s bed.

Tie Me Up 2,808 When Gun had been tied to the bed while filming that one scene as White, the aftereffects had him wanting more. So as soon as he got his boyfriend home, he very much planned on recreating that scene, only this time, he planned to get completely sexed up.

close friends (closer) 502 “Close friends.”

Close friends who spend all their time together, who cling to each other, who follow each other around. Close friends who kiss on foreheads, sure. Cheeks. But on necks and chests.

They’re just…affectionate that way. It’s nothing to be worried over.

Gun is just like that.

AU

i can't hide it when i get close to you 5,347 “Two alphas working together like that,” they say, “does your pride not get in the way of working smoothly?”

“Papii, what do you think?” Gun says, because that’s what he always says when he doesn’t want to answer. He doesn’t want to say anything Off doesn’t feel comfortable letting the public know.

Off takes a moment, just a long, “Errr,” before he puts his words together. It’s an awkward time to be vulnerable in an interview, both of them sprawled on the bed together. Off ends up smiling and looking at the interviewer directly, “Have I ever said I was an alpha?”

pour out all your love (fill me to the top) 10,696 [Note: probably the most unique ABO I've ever read in my life] Gun goes through a difficult process. Luckily, he has Papii to take care of him.

In Defiance of Destiny 16,925 Gun was working 3 jobs to keep his head above water, and just when he thought he was done with the sugaring app where he sent nudes to wealthy men for money, Off Jumpol appeared in his inbox.

Can We Pretend? 21,107 Off and Gun are best friends, but Off loves to introduce the boy as his boyfriend to everyone. Of course, only for shits and giggles. But that is until one day his parents asked him to bring his so-called boyfriend with him to their annual family weekend and he has no other choice but to drag Gun to his elaborate fake plan to please his family.

You Just Know 2,436 Off is here to accompany Tay.

He does have some desire to meet his soulmate tonight, but not so much because he wishes to fill some hole in his life, and more because it would be hilarious if he came here as Tay’s moral support and left with his soulmate while Tay was still without.

COLLECTIONS

OffGun Drabble Collection by rachiepoo

OffGun Monthly Drabbles by Seza94

OffGun Monthly Drabbles and Short Stories by Ilsense

Random OffGun+ Drabbles and Ficlets by allourheroes

OffGun+ Monthly Drabble Collections by allourheroes

OffGun Short Stories Collection by Feyrelynn

Drabbles 2021

Random OffGun Drabbles and Ficlets

OffGun Drabbles April 2022 by dreamerbean

#offgun #off x gun #rec time

[lucentcree]

The Last Letter to You. -Chapter 1: Always and Forever.

Hello, darling.

I've written enough letters. Id like to call this my last one. I suppose it's getting kind of old now, no? the same things getting repeated over and over again... things like, "You're not here by my side anymore.", "Why did you leave me?", "Why did you have to go?", as if someone, or something, was going to give it to be straight. As if they tell me to just get over you already. But truth is.. I cant. I can't and I never will. I loved you more than I could have loved anything more in this world, for you were my first love.

Did you ever feel the same? Because as soon as I thought you were my forever, the love you gave me was over in an instant, like you couldn't wait to get over it all. And to think that what we have was true.

This whole situation will always be like a funny dream turned into my worst nightmare.

Oh, the courage you must have had to do that kind of thing. To stand on the thick railing of the building roof top, look  down, and feel the wind threatening to push you over the edge, and yet, you held on strong. You waited. You waited until the moment I got there and begged you to grab my hand. Why didn't you hold it?..

Even now, I still remember every single little detail. The events repeat over and over in my darkened mind. The look in your eyes was so peaceful, and yet so sad. And with your sadness came my starvation, from the moment I watched you fall, to the moment, to when I ran down the building stairs and hand you in my arms again. That moment felt like it should have been happy. We should have been laughing, loving. But.. You were painted with red. I was too. The floor was stained with my tears and your Blood.

Why did the elevator have to break down that exact day? Did you really walk 3 flights of stairs to say good bye to me?

Even if I did remember every single little moment, even if I was the most truthful person on this planet, like god himself, it doesn't excuse me from the fact I'm here in jail. Because even God had to lie a little for the faith of the people. So here I am, as I sit here in my jail cell, top bunk, writing in a notebook that almost finished. Another one to add to the collection right?

Each page filled with my pain, sadness. People have tried reading it, but gave up after the first page. Too "depressing" as if losing the love of your life to suicide was supposed to be a moment to rejoice. Ever since the day someone told me that, I refused for anyone to know my story. Ill forever be known as a killer. Honestly, I feel like a killer.

I haven't seen the sun properly in 19 years since your death, maybe because I refuse to look at it. I refuse to feel happy again. To feel the warmth on my face now, feels like a horrible sin. The officers make me go outside, to the court and get active, but I'm always in the corner, continuing to write to you, thinking that maybe.. Somehow, you can read all of them. I want you to know how you made me feel. I want you to know how even now, I'm still in love with you. These feeling as if you were still alive, waiting for me.

Holding your lifeless body made me feel so disgusted in myself, shaking you restlessly, as if maybe you were just quietly resting, and I was calling you up for breakfast, like we always used to do. But you weren't waking up. You didn't greet me with a smile and a kiss on the cheek like you used too. Do you remember the breakfast in bed I used to make for you when you overslept? Did that mean anything to you?

I take blame for your death, and I'll do it over and over until the day I die. Why? Because it was all my fault. Your death will always be my fault. I wasn't there when you needed me.

Your pain is all mine to blame.

That's why I told the cops it was me. All me. I'm the one who pushed you over the edge, and regrated it so I went back down to you. Yet, that isn't , and never will be the truth.

I've repeated this in my past letters, and I still can't get over saying it. I love you. I love you, I love you. I love you with everything in my heart.

Do you know why I did this? Why I took the blame? Because I just.. I can't let people perceive you as the definition of sadness. How could I? it's not you. No. you were happiness. Everywhere you went you always found a way to make any stranger smile, from your friendly jokes, to yours funny remarks... why would I want the people to know how sad you really were? I don't want them to remember you like that darling. Never.

Seeing you dead, seeing you pained to the core, from the moment we started dating, and the moment you said yes. That sorrow, has always killed me inside. Why did you always put on a happy face? Did you not think you were worthy of sadness? Did you think you didn't deserve it? You were worthy of everything and more. Yet you never once wanted to show me your sadness.

I remember talking to you before you fell. How could I forget? You didn't even cry.

"Jenny, honey, please.. Just grab my hand."

"I just need to find out darling."

"what do you want to find out? I'll tell you anything. Please..."

I remember my tears blurring my vision, and I was beginning to wipe my tears.

"have you ever wondered if the grass really is greener on the other side?"

And just like that. You were gone as I opened my eyes.

Why couldn't I make you happy? Didn't I try hard enough? Did I not love you enough? All these questions make me go into a daze of anxiety and paranoid thoughts. I wonder what you meant when you said that, if you said that to scare me, I'm trying so hard to hold on darling, I really am.

Do you feel content where you are? Do you feel happy now that you're not by my side? That im not there to hold your hand...

Is it really greener over there?

why couldn't I just join you, I want too. Wherever you are, whether its heaven, or hell. Or in the void.. Anywhere. As long as it's with you. You broke my heart until it was too shattered to even put back together, and only you're the one id allow the time to put it back together, so. Why am I holding back? Honestly, part of me still hopes you can come and see me. Kiss me on my head and tell me I'm alright, because I'm at my limit.

20 years in prison doesn't  feel fair enough.. Does it? How could I continue to be happy and live a life of content when my happiness was taken away from me? I'm already 45.

People keep telling me I still have my whole life ahead of me, and I shouldn't spend all this jail time writing. They tell me I should try programs and begin to put my life together before I'm out, but, honestly I can't see how I can keep going in the real world. Every time I try to imagine it, I can only see that moment, your bloody face, my tears staining it. And the world beginning to color with red.

Where's the beauty in the world when it was taken away from me?

Everything feel so dull now.

I spent my prison time writing, filling notebooks and notebooks, filling a collection I never want to go over and read again. I write, and yet I never feel any better.

This is my last letter to you, my hands feel sore and I feel tired, and yet, I don't want to rest, I don't want to sleep. I want to be with you. I've gone 19 years, 6 months, and 23 days since the last time I held you in my arms.

I want to feel your warmth, I want to see your pretty face. I want to hear you tell me you love me again.

I want to enjoy the pretty green grass you told me about.

Even if it means leaving a real world, and leaving all the people I met on earth, I'll always go to you.

As I write this final paragraph, I have a small container of bleach. something i took from when i was told to clean the bathrooms. As I hold this, a flush of memories of you and me rush over me.

I'm scared to drink this, I admit. but I know I'll see you. I don't know what death is like. But I hope its you. For it has always been you.

I'll drink this like wine, a nice delicious one.  Remember those tastings we used to go to? you'd smile and say. "this is the one." 

I drink for you, for us, and In hope I can return to your presence, for you are my one and only Jenny. My one and only Beloved.

See you later, George.

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