#to me it doesn't weaken the word it just shows how much you care

[seneon]

me when i remember i can send mashle requests 🙏🏻 bless your soul, sen 🫶🏻 so, since i’m lwky sick how about rayne, lance, orter (and or anyone else you want) taking care of sick reader? they had to find out you were feeling unwell from someone else too 😗

CARE ──── ft. rayne ames, lance crown and orter mádl.

about. hcs of the boys taking care of their sick s/o | gn! reader.

notes. ava you're such a W for this ily bro 🔥 anyway, keep the mashle requests coming i love everyone who requests for them.

RAYNE AMES

— honestly, bro's so worried for you the moment a classmate rushed to his class to tell him abt you. you're also a second year, just different classes from rayne for today. so he excused himself and rushed right to you.

— there at the infirmary, you sat down on the bed, your weakened state piercing rayne's heart. he went to embrace you in a hug and reassure you that everything is going to be ok. then he helped you to your dorm to rest.

— what intrigued everyone the most was how he traded places with your dorm mate for a few days just because he wanted to look after you while you're sick. during those moments, he looked after you. your food, temperature, symptoms, etc. he was there the whole time, even if he went for some certain classes that he wouldn't want to miss. but most of the time, he skipped those classes.

— rayne made sure everything was perfectly to your preferences. and you've been pretty obedient with the medicine too, which you didn't want rayne to worry about anymore further considering how he's skipping classes just to look after and accompany you. so you try your hardest to get well soon.

— he probably prayed to God for your health to get better soon. and when his prayers were heard, rayne is overjoyed and kept thanking God and you for doing such a great job in hanging tight to go through it all.

LANCE CROWN

— it was lemon who informed him about your health. of course, he would keep his calm composure but on the inside, he's really worried and panicking. lance thinks it was his fault for going too hard on you during your sparring session since it was pretty much him using his gravitational magic to defeat you so it most probably caused your dizzy mind and body.

— the type to pay you visits with his other friends, since they're always with him. but he does it alone, he apologises so much and ends up crying then sleeping by the bed.

— your sickness wasn't that serious, it was just a mild fever. so all you needed was rest, medicine, and some of lance's comforting words. he tells you about what happened during school everyday, updating you about his day then listening to yours.

— lance notes down your classes' lessons and notes and gives them to you after the day or during free time. there's some certain lessons that you didn't share with lance and he would go all the way to ask your classmates or self study to write notes for you.

— after you were discharged from the school's hospital, lance helped you slowly recover from school as much as he could. he was gentle with your recovery and wouldn't want anyone or anything to hurt you so he's ALWAYS with you to serve as your temporary guard. he protects you for a whole full week, like a dad.

ORTER MÁDL

— unlike rayne or lance, he doesn't show that he concerns. but deep down, he cares, and he doesn't. orter is like a two way kinda person, which is a bit complicating. so you won't know if he actually cares or not, since he didn't really reacted when the doctor told him about you.

— but, he tries his hardest to make time to visit you at the hospital since he's a busy man as divine visionary. once he found out that the hospital you were admitted in gives shitty low-class treatment, he immediately demanded for you to be transferred to the best hospital in the country.

— orter manages to get other divine visionaries to sub for his missions and duties so he could be with you and help look after you. the simple feeling and thought of you being alone in a big hospital gives him an unsettling worry so he decides to be there for you.

— he's the smart type of guy, so he does everything logically. if you don't want to take your meds, he'd just drink it, hold it using it tongue, kiss you and force you you to swallow it by covering your nose. pretty comical actually, how'd he tries showing you care but ends up screwing some of it up.

— it's ok tho, he's probably just feeling a bit of like a tsundere. he denies your teasing but ends up getting flustered. that would actually help you a lot in your recovery as your gloomy days spent in the hospital was filled with orter's entertainment until you were discharged, all healthy thus giving orter so many kisses which he would awkwardly return one on your lip.

#⋆ ❨ writing ❩ ֢֢֢ ۟ #mashle #mashle hcs #rayne ames #rayne ames x reader #lance crown #lance crown x reader #orter madl #orter mádl x reader #mashle imagines #mashle x reader #mashle: magic and muscles #mashle fluff #★ avava

[kieran-granola]

Sweet Sorries

(This is a little JayTim Chanukah gift for @silver-snow-77! Thank you for being a lot of fun 💕)

“We missed you at the Manor.”

Jason doesn't flinch but he tenses, his shoulders drawing up as he sets his helmet down on the table. Slowly, he turns around to find Tim sitting at his kitchen table all bundled up in a cozy sweater and scarf. The plate of sufganiyot that Jason cooked and abandoned earlier that day is waiting in front of him, the shape of it somehow accusing in the semi-darkness.

“Who’s we exactly?” Jason asks as he unholsters his guns. 

In the kitchen, Tim shrugs. “Alfred. Bruce. Damian. Me. Take your pick.”

Following his well-practiced routine, Jason unloads his weapons and puts them away in his safe. He'll need to clean them later — to make sure everything will be in working order tomorrow when he heads out into the streets again — but he's got more pressing concerns for now.

“You see me practically everyday, birdie.”

“We don't celebrate Hanukkah everyday, though.”

Jason shrugs off his leather jacket and sprawls on his couch to work on removing his boots. “Technically, for a week, we do.”

Tim's tongue clicks. “Jason.”

“Timothy,” Jason deadpans.

They stare at each other in silence for a minute, then Tim sighs. His shoulders droop, hurt clear on his face. When he speaks, his voice is thin.  “Why didn't you show up? I wanted to spend the night with you. I thought—I was hoping that you wanted to celebrate with me too.”

Shame and guilt bloom in Jason's stomach. Fuck. He's an asshole. He was so caught up in his insecurities, so worried about Bruce's judgment and Alfred's disapproval, that he didn't stop to consider whether Tim would be hurt by his absence. Stomach turning into a mess of knots, he kicks his boots off and stands up. 

“I'm sorry. I was planning to go. I mean—” he gestures to the plate of pastries, “—I even baked. But then I just… I don't know. I couldn't do it.”

Tim bites his lip. “You got scared.”

“I guess.”

“You could have told me. I would have spent the evening with you, we could have—”

“No!” Jason blurts out. “No. It's—You shouldn't have to skip family celebrations just because you decided to fuck the local pariah.”

Tim goes stock-still, his expression smoothing out into an impenetrable mask. “Is that what we're doing? Fucking?”

Dozens of memories flit through Jason’s mind — Tim's smile over shared fries, his strong fingers digging bruises into Jason's hips, heated debates in front of the TV, and days spent curled up together in bed — and his heart stutters. Dammit. He didn’t mean to imply that what they have isn’t serious. 

“No, it's not,” he says slowly. “You know it's not. You're as much of a detective as I am. You’ve got to know how I feel about you.”

“By that logic, you have to know how I feel about you too. But you still left me hanging at the Manor tonight.” 

Jason looks away. Maybe he does know. Maybe he remembers the way Tim took care of him when he was sick despite his own weakened immune system. Maybe he can picture the smile that blooms on his face whenever he wakes up next to Jason. Maybe he knows the shape of Tim's feelings intimately. Maybe he's let him write them across his bones with every kiss and touch.

Maybe it's not enough to compensate for his fear of Bruce anyway.

“I'm sorry,” he repeats. “I should have warned you. I was too caught up in my issues with B to think about you and that was unfair of me. I'll do better next time.”

Tim gives him a long, inscrutable look. Then he sighs. “Alright.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ve got my own hang-ups when it comes to Bruce, so… Apology accepted. On one condition.”

“Anything you want. Just say the word.”

“I want a sufganiyah,” Tim replies lightly. “And a kiss.”

Gratitude fills Jason’s chest with sunshine. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t Tim’s playful answer. To be forgiven so easily and reminded that Tim cares for him all in one fell swoop… It’s a gift he never thought he’d be given.

Eyes stinging, he moves closer and pushes the plate towards Tim. “Take as many as you want. Hell, eat them all. I can always make more.”

Tim grabs a beignet. He takes a bite, and powdered sugar sticks to his mouth, bright and enticing. 

Jason leans in reflexively at the sight. Every inch of him longs for a taste of Tim’s sweetness. As clumsy with his words as he can be, he knows exactly how to touch Tim by now. How to handle him with the care and reverence he doesn’t know how to express when he’s not borrowing a poet’s words. 

(Art commissioned from the lovely @coffeexrage)

Tim notices him staring. He lifts his chin and gives Jason an expectant look, his blue eyes impossibly bright. “Well? That’s only half of what I asked for. Where’s my kiss?”

Laughing quietly, Jason crosses the distance between them and kisses the tip of Tim’s freckled nose. “There.”

Tim scrunches up his nose. “I meant a proper kiss.”

“Finish eating, you gremlin. I’ll kiss you as many times as you want after.”

“You sure about that?” Tim grins slyly. “Because I might need a kiss every day until I die.”

Jason rolls his eyes even as his heart misses a beat. “You drive a hard bargain.”

“Oh, I can drive it harder.” Tim gives him an exaggerated wink.

Flushing, Jason takes a sufganiyah and pushes it against Tim’s lips to shut him up. “Eat or you won’t get any kisses at all.”

“Yessir.” Half-laughing, Tim takes a bite and the two of them share a smile. 

Jason doesn’t know what tomorrow will be like — whether Tim will insist on going to the Manor to light the candles again, and whether he’ll have the strength to accompany him if he does. What he does know, though, is that Tim’s gentle warmth is enough to make him want to keep making an effort. He might never be able to mend things with Bruce, he still damn well intends to nurture his relationship with Tim.

One kiss at a time.

#jason todd #tim drake #jaytim #happy chanukah #kieran writes

[joaofelix70]

69 WITH JOÃO FÉLIX | a concept.

author's note: first of all, thank you for reading this and my first story that was boycotted by his ex's fans, lmao (i know joão's flopping here, actually) 💀

many people are not writing for him anymore and that's why i'm doing justice to him, so you're welcome, lol. please, tell me what you think about this work, polite feedbacks are VERY appreciated. i get inspired in the morning and wrote it kinda quickly. really random, but i need to say how obsessed i am with joão being religious, like this gif shows. the way he's crossing himself, kissing his hand and pointing to the sky 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

I'M CRYING, SOBBING ON MY KNEES AND BEGGING HIM TO HAVE A RELIGIOUS FAMILY WITH ME. also, my requests are open. i'm waiting for you to talk to me there <3

warnings: self-explanatory sex position. +18 content. smut, nsfw without context. plus, he's also fingering you here (our dream 😭).

words: 461.

"holy shit, what a good pussy. i missed it, princesa (princess). i missed you!" his fingerprints wrap in your midst of the hot, overflowing fountain: causing an insatiable thirst, to which no other substance would be able to succumb.

"i always need you so badly, gatinho (handsome). i fucking belong to you!" your whimpers exude despair in the name of pleasure, making joão laugh and his ego to inflate.

"of course you do! all this shit, all this is only mine. fuck, i'm such a lucky guy." your walls tighten and compress his beautiful bones, sending sinful sensations to his area of hardness and dampness. then, you're empty. his tongue curls around his fingers, appetizing you.

"so fucking delicious!" wet kisses are deposited on your neck and boobs: delighting his face on each, vehemently sucking and biting them.

"use my body to show it, joão. i'm yours!" your hands involve around the structure of his cock, lips swallowing the resplendent pre-cum from the head and witnessing it run down your chin. stroking and tasting the testicles, you lift your mouth and enter every inch of it into your throat, scratching his toned tights. your hair is pulled by félix and your head guided to have him deeper, completely.

"yeah! just like that! be the good and grateful girl that you are. i'm so proud of you, princesa." joão's destabilized, moaning in portuguese, echoing your name with his beautiful accent, while eyes are closed. however, he doesn't stop. his saliva spread throughout the shape of your torso, hickeys pigmenting the place below where you're most begging to be touched. his mouth explores your intimacy, painting formats and drawings, like you're his work of art: his nose rubbing your clit and offering continual instigations, the tip of his tongue persistently granting the beg leave in the entrance. so he persists, controlling your greedy movements against his face: firm pressure on your waist.

"let me know when you're close, ok? wanna take care of you!" félix grabs your ass, flattening and reddening your skin. tears are shed over your flushed face, your voice weakened after so many verbal liberations. you hold his dilating dick and slap it on your cheek, teasing it through licks and your light, sensitive touch.

"tell me how much you love me, gatinho. i deserve this for being your good girl who is about to cum on your face." you testify his acts getting intensified: ecstasy, along with sexual spasms, protruding from joão. his head goes back and, at this point, he's worshiping you. you're his religion.

"i fucking love you, y/n. gonna cum in your precious mouth and throat!"

"that's my man who i fucking love! please, come for me and i'll do the same for you!"

#joao felix #joão félix #joao felix x reader #joao felix x y/n #joao felix x you #joao felix smut #joao felix fluff #joao felix angst #joão félix x reader #joão félix x y/n #joão félix x you #joão félix smut #joão félix angst #joão félix fluff #joao felix blurb #joao felix drabble #joao felix one shot #joão félix blurb #joão félix drabble #joão félix one shot #football #la liga #premier league #footballer #football x reader #football one shots #football fanfic #headcanons #headcanon #🎧 ࿐ aléxia's works!

[crystaldivination]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰/𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?

Hello and welcome to another intuitive pick a card. In this reading we will be looking at the way and how you make others feel your love. I hope you enjoy this and if so don’t forget to leave a feedback as it’ll help me to know what to improve for further readings. Also likes, reblogs and follows are always appreciated!

✤ masterlist • paid services • spoil me! ♥︎

how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths & look at each pile separately. Take your time to pick out a pile that sparks an interest or a memory in you. Come back later to it again if you can't decide.

The piles

from left -> right

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

♥︎ Pile 1: flower crown ♥︎

Dear pile 1, everyone loves differently right? We know that people sometimes can’t read other people’s mind so the way to express love is by showing it.

For you I feel like Acts of Service and Quality Time are two of the main love languages you use to communicate your love for others, both in intimate and platonic relationships. You seem to be practical so you often like the idea of doing something for your loved ones that you know they would like. You are ready to give up your time for them if it’s what they need. As long as your loved ones feel good about it, it’s worth your effort. You’re very affectionate in the way you care for them. You show them you love them through your actions. You might pay a lot of attention to the smallest things as for example what your loved ones want to do on their vacation next week so you can already plan and prepare for it, what time their favorite show is on so you can watch together, helping them with chores, doing their errands if you notice that they don’t have the time for it or just as simply as how they like to do their hair or have their breakfast in the morning. You also look for what they don’t like to ensure they only feel positive at all time. Assume if they don’t like their space dirty or taking out the trash you’ll make sure to do these tasks for them. You usually always offer your help when needed, look out for them, give them your undivided attention to make them feel loved and appreciated without being asked to. Your actions speak for yourself. You care for them by making sure your loved ones is taken care of in any way.

♥︎ Pile 2: ballerina music box ♥︎

Dear pile 2, one of the things to create a meaningful relationship is to show the people that you love how much you love and appreciate them so that they know your sincere intentions, right?

You do it through Words of Affirmations. Your love language includes heartfelt gestures such as reminding your loved ones of how much you love them, a random simple loving compliment or a genuine thank-you yet all those small little things are coming from your heart and carry a sense of empathy towards your loved ones since you want them to hear and know what they mean to you. To you words can have a huge impact which can make a big difference. You’re aware of how powerful and beautiful words can really be. Underneath each word is an ocean of meaning and significance that is working to either strengthen or weaken a relationship's bond. Words can be used as a way to tear someone down or build someone up and you choose to embody this power in a positive way. You’re usually someone who tends to notice and care about the details of other people's lives. For instance, you may be the first to notice your partner's new haircut. You also remember to ask your neighbor if they are feeling any better since the last meeting with them. You always make sure to give other people and your loved ones a greater sense of self-worth and make them feel seen with your words. These words are also a helpful and meaningful source of motivation and encouragement to help those feel the most magnificent themselves. Since written and spoken language speaks directly to people’s heart, your strength lies in how you show and how you’re able to show people affection through effusive words, terms of endearment, and sweet little nothings, which are really sweet little everythings.

♥︎ Pile 3: love arrows ♥︎

Dear pile 3, love is the strongest and healthiest form of human and all living creature bonding and belonging. It's that magical innate feel-able sense, I believe, that is deep inside that ties and binds us —emotionally, psychologically and spiritually— to one another. Language is a way we use to express and share meaning, right?

Your love language with which you communicate or share your deepest, most essential parts of yourself to your loved ones is Physical Touch. You might find it harder to be vulnerable so just like one of our natural instincts you show your love through physical gestures such as touch or physical closeness. To you direct presence and expression matter a lot and sometimes more than things like gifts or words because you know the way to let someone know you love them is by letting them see and feel it themselves in their heart. You want to make your loved ones feel good and protected just like a mother who holds their baby in her chest to make it feel loved, connected and safe. By simply hugging them, giving them a pat on their head or holding their hands to let them know that you’re with them and that they can depend on you at any time show a lot about you. Sometimes touches do speak louder than words. It’s a way to tell without saying a word. You love them without saying a word. You actively listen and offer them your ears while showing understanding and affection through expressing them physically and soulfully. You’re affectionate by easing their heart and mind. You’re able to melt away all their worries with your touch in that moment, sooth, relax and give them that extra boost that they need. Intimacy is indeed meaningful and special.

© 2023 crystaldivination ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, edit, alter, or redistribute my work. Plagiarism in any form is prohibited.

Thank you for reading! Sending love your way, beautiful souls 🤍

#pac #pick a card #pick a card reading #pac reading #tarotcommunity #tarot reading #intuitive readings #tarotblr #pick a pile #credits to me for my header

[kuni-is-daddy]

Thinking about Scara fucking is hard before a big dinner with important figures

Also thinking about wanderer plunging his fingers deep into us on a walk, he’ll whisper in your ear how dirty and good you are for him, and as you finish on his fingers he’ll tell you to shake it off, just wanting to see how you struggled to walk with him afterwards

Boss scara strikes again, Ft Wanderer! X Female reader.

PURE FILTH.

juicy stuff: neck biting, Over the desk, Semi in public?

1.1k words

Scara fic list.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Lord Kuni

Scara calls you to his office but this time you know what he wants. As soon as he opens the door after you knock, you pounce on him like a cat. He gives a shocked expression but immediately falls into your sloppy kiss, loving every second of your desperation to kiss and feel his touch. Your tongues intertwining as he carries you to his desk. Using electro energy to push everything out of his way. "K-kuni~ don't be so rough.." rough? He'll show you rough. He practically pins you against the desk, getting aroused as you let out a small moan in pain. "Mmh..don't talk about rough now pet~ you wanted this yeah? Kissing up on master like that without permission..I should fucking punish you." He strips you of your pants effortlessly, snickering at your embarrassed reaction. "Please I'm sorry master.. don't punish me~ please~" you whined. "so pathetic y/n... My little pet pounces on me then doesn't want it back?" He pulled away from you, wanting you to beg for his touch. "N-no! Kuni I want you! I want you master please~ please fuck me~" you spread your legs as he let out an aroused look at how wet you are. "Fuck.. look how wet you are..like a slut~" he pulled his pants down and began stroking "M' not a slut..." You pouted. "It's alright baby. Because your mine..masters little slut. Gonna have more fun with you later~ let's make this quick." He positioned his cock and rammed into you instantly, making you yell as he already hit your sweet spot~ "K-KUNI~ AH...TOO MUCH!!~"

he began thrusting, balls deep inside of you. "Shit..y/n.. your so fucking warm~ keep yelling like that and I'll cum inside already~" he moved his hands down to your waist, grabbing tightly while plunging inside of you. "KUNI.. PLEASE.. i...OH FUCK~" your moans echoed through the room, along with the sound of your skin slapping together. It was as if you were already fucked dum. "Yeah..just like that..keep moaning for me like the slut you are.. gonna give you my load baby...take it.." "YES KUNI PLEASE..I WANT IT...DADDY~ I-" he leaned down towards you, kissing you once more as you wrapped your arms around him. "Hah.. shit m' gonna cum slut...ah~ take it.. take masters cum~" he let out a loud groan. Pushing so far inside of you, you couldn't help but bite on his shoulder "Ah~ oh fuck yeah baby..bite on master~ let it go.. let that cum ooze on my cock. Such a good girl~" your grip weakened on his shoulders. Lightly letting out another moan as he pulled out and already began cleaning himself up and putting back in his pants. "k-kuni~ waittt where are you going.." he turned his head, looking at your dummed out expression. "Oh yeah. I got a meeting with the 'teyvat world leaders' or whatever. But..." He cupped your face, looking at your glossy eyes. "You stay here alright, that's an order. Once I get back. I'm gonna breed you. And make you mine for good."

HaTguY, wanderer.

Wanderer didn't take the annual sumeru sabzerus festival seriously. He was only looking forward to the last round which consisted fighting. And dam he had PLENTY of time considering everyone had too look around the city and a bit into the outskirts for some 'butterfly' looking creatures he didn't even care about. if only nahida didn't drag the both of you into the competition, maybe then you wouldn't be so busy running around and stopping at benches to gather information on the insects. But wanderer had another way to shut you up.

"Fuck yes baby...just like that..take my fingers~" you laid back on the bench, legs spread only enough for him to stick his hands down your pants. "K-kuni..noo~ someone will ah~" you covered your mouth, trying to hide your moans as he fingered you in broad daylight. "Hmm? You think someone is gonna see baby?" You nodded your head "Mmm that's even better then~ want everyone to see how good I make you feel y/n. How dirty you are, letting me touch you like this" "m' not dirty...kuni.. hah..." He climbed ontop of you, now inserting 3 fingers. "Oh Yeah? Then your my good girl~ taking 3 of my fingers..so fucking good.." your eyes began tearing up from you holding back your moans, watching as Kuni smirked and even began laying his hands along your breasts. "Y-yes kuni~ I'm your good girl~ wanna cum' for you" he sped up his pace, sending chills as your body quivered from his slim fingers. "Then let go like a good girl and cum on daddy's fingers~ cum while daddy rubs those nice tits of yours.." he began to moan with you in sync, loving how the littlest touch from him could get you worked up. "Hah~ k-kuni...I'm...i-AH~" "that's it.. there's my good girl.. all over my fingers~" he licked your juices off his hand, sticking out his tongue ridiculously to mimic your lewd expressions then pulling away from you.

Suddenly another horn rang, signifying that their is only one person left able to find the creature. You messily fixed your clothes and tried to get up. Only to be stuck sitting back down over a burning sensation you felt in your thighs. "Shake it off baby, relax..." He leaned down and stared at you, putting his hat back on. "Tsk. Not like your gonna win anyway right? It's just some stupid scholar game." Kuni scoffed. Dam. He knew how important this was too you. You had to represent and respect your archons honor no matter what! You got up again, this time giving a smirk to Kuni while he watched your legs wobble. "Heh. T-thats what YOUU think Kuni. I'm gonna get that last point. Just you wait and see!"

Oh yes Kuni was waiting, just to spar you in the final round for the crown.

()note: been wanting to write bout Jujutsu kaisen men again Like gojo, toji and megumi so if y'all got some thirsts or ideas, preach!! My brain is stuck in scara world forever 😭😭

#genshin smut #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #genshin impact #genshin x reader #kunikizushi #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche smut #scaramouche x female reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x yn #wanderer smut #wanderer x y/n #wanderer x you #wanderer x reader

[deathbxnny]

Hi, this is my first time active on tumblr community, English is not my native language, so please forgive me for spelling mistakes <3

I have an idea for s/o Mitsuri (kny) with Blade, Jing Yuan, Dan Heng and Luocha please. who were dying in their arms and praying for another world, when they were reborn, and were turned into ordinary people with an ordinary past. Before I die, I want the reader to ask: "If we were to be reborn in a more beautiful world where there is no pain and loss, would you be my bride?". I am really looking forward to the reactions of the characters in hsr. Hope this angst idea is good enough-

Pray for you when you go, someone often remembers. When you return when someone is waiting. Pray for you to become the best memories in the world. Wishing you a life filled with love and happiness. I really appreciate you for the quality articles <3 Take care of yourself and I love you so much. Sorry for writing so long. (Sorry for the second post, I realized I forgot to add the character's name, so sorry =( )

-----♡

A/N: I know exactly what scene you are referring to here and I'll never recover from it tbh... Also thank you so much for your kind words and for the request! I hope this is okay!<33

Content: Potential Spoilers for kny! (?), Reader dies, hurt/no comfort (kinda), established relationships, angst, mentions of fatal injury, just pain

Reader has no set pronouns! (Though they do refer to themselves as a "Bride" per the request, but that's not outright mentioned here.)

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》Jing Yuan

Jing Yuan's usual calm and playful facade drops instantly, when he has your bloody and near lifeless form laying in his arms. He holds you close, knowing that your end is near and that there is nothing he can do now. He tries to still appear so calm and collected like he always is, but it's hard, when the love of his life is dying.

And it becomes even harder, when he hears you utter those heartbreaking words, as you look up at him with pleading, weak eyes. He can't bring himself to speak at first, mainly because he wants to believe that there is still some hope left in saving you. But he is no fool. He knows, that you are doomed.

And so he nods, promising you that he will, his arms holding onto you tighter, when the last breath escaped your lungs and you smile in satisfaction at him, already looking forward to seeing him again.

"Ofcourse, my love... I'll wait eons for your return, if I have to."

-----♡

》Blade

He nearly loses his composure at the sight of you, the blinding rage of the loss he felt in his heart making him nearly dip completely into insanity. Yet he keeps it at bay for a moment, just to hold you in his arms. He's trembling and for once in a very long time, he feels afraid and lost.

Your words make his already broken soul break even harder, burn up into fine ash, until it gets blown away by the wind and leaves a gaping hole in his existence behind. He can't process them at first, wanting to be stubborn even in the face of your inevitable doom. He doesn't want to show, how much this weakened him, just to spite the grim reaper himself.

And yet, it all fails, when he just let's out a pitiful, broken sigh and agrees in pained defeat, just to give you your peace. You smile at him, as the last of your life fades out, your eyes looking right through him. Only then, does he allow himself to break completely.

"Very well... but don't keep me waiting for long... I beg of you."

-----♡

》Dan Heng

Dan Heng didn't know, how you two got to this point. It shouldn't have happened. He should've protected you. And yet, you protected him from the attack. You were bleeding out, your life draining from you faster than he could stop it. Once more, a person he loved dearly was slipping through his fingers and there was nothing he could do.

He felt like a failure, like all of this was his fault. He should've died instead. Not you. And that thought gets only solidified by your heartbreaking, hopeful words. You didn't deserve this fate. You deserved someone much better than him.

And yet, he selfishly agrees to your final wish to bring you satisfaction. Your smile made it worth it, the relief in your eyes before they were drained of their beautiful spark and dulled making all the heartache disappear for only just a moment. Left behind was the emptiness Dan Heng felt, as all he could do was stare down at you in defeat, his heart broken once more. And for good, this time.

"For you, I will do anything, my love. So I'll see you then..."

-----♡

》Luocha

Luocha didn't want to believe, that it was over. That there was nothing he could do for you. He tried everything he could. He was a doctor, surely he could save you from this simple injury, right? But it was no use. You knew it. He knew it. And yet, he still denied it to the bitter end, until you gently grabbed ahold of his arm and just shook your head. A signal, that it was truly over.

And for once, he breaks down, holding you close, begging you not to disappear and yet all you could do was chuckle and utter your last wish for him. It was a promise, that eventually, you'd return to him. You'd find eachother in the next life, you were sure of it.

He was reluctant, still so stubborn and heartbroken to accept your doom, until he did. His soul died with you, when you took your last breath, he swore it. And he blamed himself, for not being able to save you, when he surely should've been able to.

"I'll find you in the in next life and the one after that one too, my dear... I promise you that."

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was alright! It was honestly heartbreaking to write... also thank you for the request!<33

#honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #hsr jing yuan #hsr jing yuan x reader #hsr blade x reader #hsr blade #hsr dan heng #hsr dan heng x reader #hsr luocha #hsr luocha x reader #hsr

[look-how-they-massacred-them]

Preliminary Poll

Everyone

Submission reason:

Original Leverage had excellent character, story, found family, etc. 10/10 all around. In the reboot, the stories are less interesting (several of the cons feel like they could be done with half the cast, like a lot of them just aren't doing anything a lot of the time and it feels overcrowded) and the characters all feel a lot flatter? For example: Eliot. The most haunting scene for his character in the original is when the rest of the team learns he used to do work for Damien Moreau, the super evil guy they're currently trying to take down. We get this interaction: Eliot: The worst things I ever did, I did while working for Damien Moreau. Parker: What did you do? Eliot: Don't ask me that Parker. Because if you ask me, I'm going to tell you. So don't ask me. We never find out what he did. There is a strong implication it involved killing innocent children, the families of targets he was hired to take out. There may have been more. We don't know, and that's what makes it such a chilling moment for his character- whatever it was it was bad, so bad that it doesn't need specifics. In Leverage: Redemption, we get a scene where Eliot is captured by evil security company lady (I don't remember exactly who she was, but one of the main bad guys). She injects him with a drug that is described as making it easier to bring up traumatic memories somehow? and triggers a traumatic memory by saying "Operation Kansas". We then see footage of Generic War Flashbacks (with no detail as to what that actually was or any stake we should have in it, we're just told "it's traumatic"). He also starts branching out a lot more from the team looking for romance (and struggling with it) which is a lot more depressing than where he was at in the original (the team is his family). Granted this probably has something to do with Hardison's actor not being available and not wanting to focus too much on Eliot and Parker's relationship lest that read as cucking the black man, but it does weaken the found family of the original (it has a bit of the vibe of "we're growing up and growing apart" when the original was "broken people finding strength and community in each other"). They also don't seem to know what to do with Sophie exactly- in the original, she was the heart of the team. There's a line one of the others has about how they trust Nate to come up with the plan, but they trust Sophie to make sure they're all okay. For a lot of the show, this is more focused on Nate than the others because he's the most off-the-rails, so with his character gone there's a gap that isn't really adequately filled.

The support relationship she had with the trio is also weakened because in the time since the first show they've all become even more competent and successful without her, so her taking on a teaching role with them feels weird (they mostly do this with Parker, which has the awful effect of making her seem less competent than she did in the original). Her relationship with Harry works the best in the new show, but since Harry's problem is entirely born of lack of experience/competence with this sort of crime, she can't really play off him in the same way as the others- it's all very teacher-student. It was also established in the original that she's a grifter, and she's not actually interested in running a team so making her character the leader after she's been out of the game for years feels out of place. And Parker. Beloved Parker. She's Word of God canonically autistic, and it was done SO WELL in the first series, which makes the massacre in Redemption so much sadder. Parker's arc in the original series involved her learning to open herself up to the world after closing off so much of who she could care about due to repeated trauma throughout her life. She shows so much growth throughout the series, and ends up implied to be the leader of the team after Nate and Sophie leave. She's weird and kooky but this isn't a flaw and it doesn't detract from her competence as a thief and teammate. And while she does struggle with certain things (grifting especially because of the social component) she does learn and improve with the help of the team. And then in Redemption, there's just. an enormous backslide. She's been at least co-leading teams around the world with Eliot and Hardison for years, but when Sophie comes back into the picture she gets implicitly demoted (it's not emphasized, but Sophie being promoted to solo leader implies it) and within the team dynamic, she is paralleled in skill level to Breanna, Hardison's 20-something sister who just joined the team (for comparison, Parker should be mid-30s at this point and has been doing this sort of crime for over a decade).

Still, Parker is put in the same category as Breanna; that is "good at her specialty, trying to be better, still has a lot to learn". She maintains her character growth from the original in regards to opening up and caring about others, but her skills and competence feel a lot lesser- despite the fact that years have passed offscreen where presumably she'd continue to learn. Ultimately she comes across as much more childish and immature which really does not sit right with the wonderful autistic representation she was in the original. Harry and Breanna I have less to say about because they are new for the reboot, but I think they also could be done a lot better. Harry's entire thing is that he used to be exactly the type of Evil Guy the team would take down but he's had a change of heart and wants to fight for what's right. And like, he did do a lot of evil fucked up shit! But the extent to which the other characters will like. Rub his face in it? Feels excessive.

Maybe this is just me having a lot of thoughts on "how to effectively de-radicalize someone" but like. For example, there's a point where they're deciding how to run a con and he offers some information as to how these guys work (I don't remember specifics unfortunately) and the rest of the team is like "Oh. And how do YOU know that? Right, because you were EVIL. 😒" when like??? He was literally already acknowledging that? And constantly shaming someone for their past when they are actively trying to improve is bad practice. As for Breanna... I want to like her. I do. And there are a lot of good things about her character. But they also kind of make her a Millennial Mouthpiece at times, where like she just expresses the opinions that Kids These Days and Our Generation have without any weight behind them. There's an episode about Fake Magic the Gathering where she gives a big speech about kids who didn't feel like they fit in, but there's nothing personal about it, so it ends up feeling empty. Character building in the original was heavily focused on specific personal details and experience, and she doesn't really get much of that which takes away a lot of potential depth. Also I would be remiss if I did not highlight this comparison because it's a big part of why I had to stop watching the reboot: In original Leverage, there is a scene where the con has spiraled out of control, and Hardison and the mark were caught on a US army base with a camera. The team is trying to figure out how to get them out without blowing the con and Hardison says "Damn the con! I am a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera! I am going to jail forever!" They manage to get him out safely, having him stall so they can break him out without blowing their cover. But that one line highlights the fact that his race does put him in more danger than the others in that scenario, and the show knows it. Even if it doesn't play out, the awareness is there. This is one of many cases in which this is emphasized. Redemption has an episode, The Great Train Job, where the mark is the head of a group of white nationalists. Breanna is one of the teammates on the train, and there's a point where she says she's going to try something and Eliot reminds her to be careful because she's in more danger than the rest of them. This is the sum total of acknowledgement of that danger, aside from some quippy lines about the evils of white supremacists. A few key things: Also in this episode, while Sophie is grifting the mark, he comes onto her very strongly in a private train car, getting way too close to Actual Sexual Assault for comfort, in a scene that was genuinely unpleasant to watch. In the original, while the stakes were often high, there was never the fear of "they're really not going to make it" or even "they're going to experience something genuinely horrible" (beyond like, "getting shot" level of injury). This situation for Sophie was new and unexpected, and because of that I no longer trusted the show not to cross another line. And because they highlighted the racism present on the train (by having the white man remind the black woman about it, which isn't inherently bad but I don't love it), I spent the entire episode on edge waiting for something bad to happen to Breanna. Nothing did, but fundamentally I did not trust that. The quote from Hardison, among other scenes, did make me feel safe in the understanding that the writers knew the gravity of the situation and would tread carefully. But the casualness of the line with Breanna, coupled with Sophie's awful scene in the same episode did the opposite. This is less of a character complaint and more of a structural one, but still.

Propaganda:

A lot of my gripes with Redemption are about the show as a whole, so idk how well this fits this poll, but the characters are a huge part of that because it's such a character driven show. Anyways I'm genuinely curious to see how this does because I am so strongly pro-original and so strongly anti-reboot, but I have the impression that a lot of people really like the reboot.

#look how they massacred them poll #look how they massacred my boy #look how they massacred my girl #leverage #leverage redemption #leverage elliot #leverage sophie #leverage parker #leverage breanna #leverage harry #leverage hardison

[pinkandpurple360]

I think it's worth mentioning that if Stolas became mortal or lost his power: he'd hate it. I don't care what stans say, Stolas regardless of intentional or not treats everyone below him like shit and has no problem using his stasis to get what he wants. Not only that, him being Blue Blood gives him power over Blitzo and there's no doubt in my mind Stolas is gonna gaslight him into a relationship in the next episode and make it seem Blitzo is in the wrong because 'boo hoo I'm so sad' which is just...gross as fuck. And what happens after he loses that edge over Blitzo and doesn't have power over him anymore now that he's no longer a prince and mortal? He'll make Blitzo's life hell and honestly, I won't blame Blitzo if he kicks him out now the fact he doesn't have a way to threaten his lively hood.

At least Ozzie has positive qualities to him and can adapt if he chose to give it all up to be with Fizz (not saying that should happen or like the idea but I rather that than Fizz getting to live forever kind of thing if we MUST have the two being happily together in the end. Plus the whole 'jester to queen' thing you mentioned in your last ask gave me something to think more about because boy does it feel Viv sure enjoys taking away my gremlin's identity and agency). Stolas is everything Striker and Blitzo says he is and his actions show it. Doesn't matter how much you gaslight your audience Viv, you're running your show for this horrible ship and you have no one to blame but yourself if it keeps losing views.

Now if you excuse me, Trash Anon needs to write her self indulgent polycue fanfic before the Full Moon drops and have her true happy ending to the show.

Truer words have never been spoken Trash anon, can I call you TA?

He’ll absolutely hate it but at the same time, he loves being weak and pathetic enough to need Blitzøs attention. Like how he faked it in LooLoo Land and got really excited in Seeing Stars and Western Energy at the idea of being saved by him, it’s a glorified fetish. Plus the only reason I think Viv keeps weakening him is so we stop pointing out the weird coercive power dynamic that has not budged an inch, and will never move an inch while she claims it’s not a big issue. Despite it being the establishing scene of a character who was meant to be a villain until the end of season one, where the shipping art got really popular. Now any time someone brings up his behaviour in murder family, stolitz stans bring up The Circus, an entirely different set of events. Which, I will keep saying, doesn’t disprove anything or make the deal ok. Because once off of (guilt driven) “consent” by someone trapped in someone else’s bedroom, doesn’t include consent from then on or every month.

Not only gaslight him into a relationship, but move into his apartment, join his business, hell probably ask to watch when he’s using the shower. And given the leaks of Via abandoning stolas because of all of this, and stolas saying things to her like “you’ve been the one good thing in my life” and running away from Blitzø (only for him to follow up behind him, give him his jacket, and rest his head on his shoulders, like a pet) This is going to get so so ugly. And I feel like any decent writer would see this as the perfect trigger for stolas to become the Stella of Blitzøs life. Always tormenting him and reminding him of what he did. And stolas always abuses Millie Moxxie and doesn’t even know Loona exists (and if he treats imps this bad I can’t imagine hellhounds) so it’s an awful idea.

Everyone hated seeing stars, so they’re gonna make the entire show seeing stars from now on🫣 and I think Chai said the writing of the episode is even worse than that.

#helluva boss critical #stolitz critical

[happilyhertale]

Long Last Love - Aemond Targaryen x female!reader, Part 6

Summary: You are finally engaged to Aemond Targaryen. As the daughter of Daemon and Rhaenyra, you will now live in King's Landing and no longer on Dragonstone. Your marriage to Aemond is imminent, as is your life together. The relationship between Aemond and your family has never been particularly easy, but the future will show whether your love will withstand this and subsequent tensions.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: In some parts Smut (uncle/niece) as well as violence

Author’s note: Hey you (:

This is the follow-up story to "Long Lost Love".

The story starts just before the wedding of Aemond and y/n and goes over the events of the first season hotd. However, the events are not quite similar to those in the series. English is my second language, please forgive me if I made any mistakes (: Word count: 3.3k

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You enjoy Aemond letting his fingers wander over your tired legs. But after a while a servant appears at your door and informs you that your presence is now desired in the small hall. You sigh and Aemond helps you up from the sofa.

"You know we can stay in our chambers".

You shake your head, "No. I see my family so rarely. At least one dinner I want to enjoy with them."

Aemond nods at you as he puts his arm around your waist.

"And that means you have to behave," you grin at him.

"I think I've done quite well so far," he winks almost unobtrusively as he leads you out of your chambers. Slowly Aemond walks with you into the small hall. You walk more slowly than usual and Aemond does his best to adapt to your pace. You also find it difficult to breathe in a relaxed manner, which manifests itself in a few heavy breaths. At some point Aemond looks at you with a grin, "If you want me to carry you, you'll give me a sign, right?"

You look at him and don't dignify that with a response. Instead, he gets your elbow in his side again. "Ouch, one day my ribs will be all blue."

"Perhaps that should be a sign for you not to annoy me so much."

He chuckles lightly.

You arrive at the hall and thanks to your speed, the rest of your families are already gathered.

Aemond leads you to one end of the table where your family is standing. He greets your family and nods to them. He gently kisses the inside of your wrist before walking to the other end of the table and joining Aegon. Aegon, of course, is already busily emptying his wine cup. But you don't care about that today. Tonight you don't want to bother with Aegon, because you finally see your family again and have a chance to talk to them. Your mother hugs you warmly, as far as your belly will allow, and doesn't want to let you go. But your father gently pushes her aside and takes you into his arms. You could enjoy this for hours. Being safe in your father's arms. And today you feel like you need it. First the accusations by Vaemond, then the loss of his head and now a dinner with your family. And when the whole family is gathered, it rarely ends peacefully.

"If you don't want Aemond to be the father of your children, we can always deny it. We simply say that the baby's hair and eye colour is inherited from you."

You look up indignantly and hit your father when Jace adds, " I will also teach him sword fighting!"

Your gaze now wanders to him, "Him? Sorry, but perhaps it'll be a girl?"

He shrugs, "Well she has to know how to fight as well."

You laugh out, "And Aemond will teach her that, or him!"

"I'd still be there for that too," your father interjects again.

You give him an annoyed look as he puts his arm around you again and lightly kisses your head.

Your conversation is interrupted when your grandfather enters the hall. He walks weakened, the guard at his side but he smiles at you as he slowly passes you. His gaze looks more alert somehow. He still looks weakened, but it seems as if he really sees you now. He stops for a moment as he stands next to you, Y/n.... You are with child...?"

You nod happily, "Yes, your Grace."

He smiles and breathes heavily, "How long have you been with child?"

"Well according to the Maesters it won't be long now and we'll have another child running around here."

His smile widens, "And... And Aemond is the father?"

When his name comes up, Aemond interrupts his conversation with Aegon and looks over at you. Out of the corner of your eye you see his gaze fall on you.

"Of course Aemond is the father," you smile softly.

Your grandsire nods, "I'm missing too much..." he mutters. You gently stroke his arm and he places his free hand on yours.

"Well then, let's dine and drink and enjoy the evening" Slowly he continues on his way and walks towards his seat. You look at your father and see the worry on his face. When he notices you looking at him, he smiles at you, but his smile does not reach his eyes.

You walk over to Aemond and he holds out his hand to you. You accept it gratefully and he leads you to your seats at the end of the table. He helps you to sit down and sits next to you, to your left. To Amond's left sit his grandsire Otto as well as his mother Alicent. To your right sits Helaena and next to her follows Aegon. Across from you at the other end of the table sits Luke with Rhaena. To Luke's left sit Baela and Jace. Opposite them sit your parents. You don't think it's ideal that Luke is sitting right in Aemon's line of sight. But you are certainly not going to bring that up. You want to enjoy tonight and don't want to create unnecessary tension.

All eyes are on your grandsire, who sits between Alicent and Rhaenyra, until he speaks up, "How good it is.... to see you all tonight... together."

Alicent suggests a prayer before dinner. And so you pray briefly.

When Alicent mentions Vaemond, you briefly open your eyes. You can't quite believe that Alicent mentions Vaemon in her prayer. Vaemond has been wildly throwing accusations around, someone had to intervene, but Alicent is surely just trying to do the right thing. Your father catches your eye, staring angrily at the ceiling. You have to suppress a giggle as he shakes his head also. His eyes fall on you and he smiles at you.

Your grandsire speaks up again, "This is an occasion for celebration, it seems. My grandsons, Jace and Luke, will marry their cousins, Baela and Rhaena, further strenghtening the bond between our houses. A toast to the young Princes... and their betrothed."

Your father calls out almost pleasingly, "Hear, hear!"

You see Aegon lean over to Jace, and suspect no good as you notice how annoyed Jace puts down his cup of wine.

"Let us toast as well Prince Lucerys.... the future Lord of the Tides," your grandsire chimes in again.

This time it is your mother who answers with a "Hear, hear". Luke smiles sheepishly.

You notice Aemond staring over at Luke and you take his hand. He lets his gaze slide over to you, he smiles. "You wanted to behave," you whisper.

He grins and nods briefly.

Suddenly your grandsire rises and your eyes go to him. He breathes heavily and stands up.

As he stands, he takes the floor again, "It both gladdens my heart and fills me with sorrow to see these faces around the tables. The faces most dear to me in all the world... yet grown so distant from each other..."

Aemond takes your hand, which is lying on the table. As you look to him, his gaze goes directly in Luke's direction. You shake your head briefly, not wanting to be drawn into the squabbles between them tonight, and look at your grandsire.

"...in the years past. But tonight... I wish you to see me... as I am. Not just as a king... but your father. Your brother. Your husband... and your grandsire. Who may not, it seems... walk for much longer among you. Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains devided. But set aside your grievances. If not for the sake of the crown... then for the sake of this old man who loves you all so dearly."

Aemond grips your hand tighter as your mother rises. You look at her, "I wish to raise my cup to Her Grace, the Queen."

Your eyes fall on Alicent, she pauses in her motion to help your grandsire sit down, and looks to your mother, "I love my father. But I must admit that no one has stood... more loyally by his side than his good wife. She has tended to him with... unfailing devotion, love, and honour. And for that, she has my gratitude... and my apology."

A brief silence follows as Alicent replies to her, "Your graciousness moves me deeply, Princess."

You see your father lean over and watch her closely.

"We are both mothers... and we love our children. We have more in common than we sometimes allow."

Your mother smiles briefly at her as Alicent stands up and raises her cup, "I raise my cup to you and to your house. You will make a fine queen."

As Alicent sits back down, you see your mother smile quietly down at her belly.

Light conversation begins to fill the room. You are eating a little when you notice Aegon getting up and walking over to Baela. You are quite annoyed with him today.

But you also notice that Aemond is somehow unrelaxed, you look at him worriedly, "Is everything alright?"

He looks at you and smiles, "Of course, my Love," he gently kisses your hand.

Like the others at the table you talk a little, as you do you keep putting your hand on your belly, the baby is still really restless. You exhale stressed and Aemond looks at you worriedly, "Is everything alright with you then?"

You try to smile, "Of course."

He leans forward and lets his lips slide gently onto yours for an almost passionate kiss.

Your gaze falls on Jace, Aemond's face still close to yours, when Jace suddenly slams his fists on the table and stands up. He raises his hand briefly and wants to make a speech. Your father looks quite amused, but you don't find it amusing at all.

When Aemond suddenly stands up too. You look at him, startled, but he and Jace simply stare into each other's eyes.

You grab Aemond's arm, "Aemond..." you whisper, but his gaze wanders back and forth between Jace and Aegon, who is just sitting down again. Jace playfully slams his fist against Aegon's shoulder, then takes a deep breath and raises his cup of wine, "To Prince Aegon and Prince Aemond. We have not seen each other since Aemond's and y/n wedding.... But I have fond memories of our shared youth..."

Aemond is still standing next to you, your hand remains on his arm and Aegon looks slightly bored.

"...And as men and because Aemond is now married to my beloved sister and they are expecting their first child, I hope we may yet be friends and allies. To you and your family's good health, dear uncles," Jace raises his cup and smiles at you. You look at him warningly. Again he playfully slams Aegon's shoulder and sits down. Aegon replies, "To you as well."

Aemond is still standing and you address him again, "Aemond. Please sit down..."

He looks at you for a moment and then sighs and sits down. He smiles briefly at you.

Helaena murmurs something beside you, but you are distracted because your grandsire speaks up again, "Well done my boy." You try to smile, but this whole situation seems awkward. And when suddenly Helaena stands up, you are a little speechless. What is going on here today. You begin to doubt that it will be a quiet, relaxed dinner.

"I would like to toast to Baela and Rhaena. They'll be married soon. It isn't so bad. Mostly he ignores you..."

Aegon must be uncomfortable too, he sighs loudly and rubs his hands together.

"...except sometimes when he's drunk."

Oh yes... that was the information you were waiting for. You would very much like to drink wine now.

Helaena laughs briefly and when you thought it was over, she turns to you, "Except Jace and Luke are as affectionate as Aemond! He is always very caring with y/n"

She smiles at you and Aegon rolls his eyes.

As she sits back down, you smile at her and squeeze her hand lightly.

You hear Otto talking to her and a "good" comes from his lips. Your grandsire asks for music and the musicians in the corner begin to play softly.

As Jace stands up again, you groan softly, expecting trouble. Aemond looks at you, but you just shake your head. When all of a sudden you see Jace come over to you and stop in front of Helaena. Jace asks Helaena to dance. That makes you a little happy. Helaena deserves to dance with a nice, funny man at a dinner party and not sit by Aegon's side all the time. You smile. That calms you down a bit.

But still, the evening is exhausting for you. The hall is filled with quiet conversation and laughter again, but you can hardly enjoy it. Your lower back aches like the seven hells. If your family were not here, you would already be sitting in your beloved bathtub. Aemond would certainly be sitting in the bath with you. Pressed close to you, he would whisper sweet nothings in your ear from behind, while you let your head fall back against his shoulder and he gently caresses your belly. But you're sitting here having dinner. You're happy that your family is here, but it's getting more uncomfortable by the second. On top of that, the baby kicks hard again. Aemond hears you gasp.

"May I please take you to our chambers? I will also make sure that a warm bath awaits us," he looks at you almost pleadingly.

You have to smile briefly because of your previous thoughts, but you want to stay, "No... I would like to stay. It's really nothing, he's just kicking".

He smiles at you, "Maybe she's just upset because the whole family is gathered.... After all, that's always a stress factor" You hit him lightly.

He takes your hand and kisses it gently. You stroke his cheek with your other hand, "You're lucky you're so sweet. Otherwise I'd hit you even harder".

He laughs up and kisses your lips this time.

The servants start carrying in various dishes, but your attention is drawn to your grandsire as he groans repeatedly. He slumps in his chair and seems to be in great pain. Alicent calls the guards over and asks them to take your grandsire to his chambers. You look worried and Aemond gently puts his hand on your thigh and strokes you gently.

When suddenly a suckling pig is brought in and placed right in front of you.

Barely audibly, you notice Luke starting to giggle, and as you look up, you see Luke's challenging gaze go in Aemond's direction. But before you can say anything to Luke, Aemond's fist hits the table. You flinch and Aemond stands up and raises his cup for another toast. The music stops and everyone looks at Aemond. Now you are really nervous and almost certain that it won't end well.

"Please Aemond... sit down again," you urge him, still startled. Alicent also looks at him, horrified.

Aemond looks briefly in your direction and smiles before looking back in Luke's direction, cup still raised, "Final Tribute."

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Jace turning to Aemond. His gaze briefly moves to Jace, "To the health of my nephews, Jace..."

"...and Luke. Each of them handsome, wise.... strong."

"Aemond!" you hiss. Now you are on the verge of your first outburst of anger, which is not unjustified.

"Come! Let us drain our cups to these two Strong Boys"

Aegon, of course, ready for a battle and immediately on Aemond's side, eagerly raises his cup and looks expectantly into the round. You would love to knock the cup out of his hand.

As you turn your attention back to Aemond, "Aemond enough!" you almost shout.

"I dare you to say that again," Jace suddenly interjects.

"Why? 'Twas only a compliment."

As Aemond suddenly walks around the table, you stand up too, a hand resting on your belly. The baby doesn't seem pleased either.

"Aemond, what are you doing?" you clutch at his arm. But he is so angry that he doesn't notice how hard you are breathing and claws at his arm.

"I was merely expressing how proud I am of my family, my Love. Mh... though it seems my nephews aren't quite as proud of theirs."

He pulls away from your arm as Jace suddenly approaches him menacingly. You stand next to Aemond, "Jace, please stop."

As Jace lunges at Aemond, you scream "No!" and reflexively push Aemond aside. Aemond did not expect a shove from you, he staggers a step to the side. Still, he grabs your arm and tries to pull you aside to prevent you from taking the hit, but Jace hits you hard on the shoulder. You lose your balance, stumble backwards and land on the floor. You groan loudly and hold your belly. Your mother cries out. Aemond sees you lying on the floor, breathing heavily and holding your belly. He can't help it, anger grips him.

He grabs Jace by the collar and aggressively pushes him across the room. He pushes him against the opposite wall and lifts him up by the collar so that Jace's feet leave the floor and dangle in the air. Alicent is the first at your side, she carefully helps you up, "Y/n are you all right??"

You nod and hold your belly. Your father is now at your side, closely followed by your mother, making sure you are okay.

In the distance you hear Aemond screaming, "I will kill you!!! Lay a hand on my wife!!! She is heavily with child!!!"

Jace just retorts, gasping, "I was going to hit you, you imbecile! I would never hurt her!!!"

Daemon strides away from you, over to Aemond and Jace. "Okay, there will be no more deaths here today", and he tries to pull Aemond away from Jace.

With great effort, he manages to pry Aemond off Jace as the guards hold Jace back.

You see Aemond trying to free himself from your father's arms when suddenly a sharp pain runs through your abdomen. It is stronger than anything you have ever felt. Your breath catches in your throat and you slump down. Alicent and Rhaenyra are quickly at your side, holding you. But then the pain is followed by a snap in your lower abdomen. Suddenly you feel that your legs are wet and you are standing in a puddle, and you are sure that you have not peed yourself.

"Aemond...", you whisper shocked. But you don't get any reaction from him. Alicent and your mother just look at you in shock.

You try again, "Aemond..." a little louder, but not loud enough. Aemond doesn't hear you. You look up and see your father still struggling to keep Aemond away from Jace. He and Jace are still busy insulting each other.

When a loud "AEMOND!!!" fills the hall. A long yell follows his name as you sink to your knees. Alicent and Rhaenyra go down with you and hold you.

Aemond looks at you, startled. He tears himself away from Daemon and is immediately at your side, "My Love, My Love! What's wrong???"

Alicent calms him down, "The baby is coming Aemond. We need to get her into a bed!"

Aemond nods.

He turns back to you, "My Love, can you walk? Do you want me to carry you??"

You shake your head slightly, "No.... No... I can do that, I just want to lie down."

He nods again and helps you up. You whisper another, "Aemond... don't leave me..." as he puts his arm tighter around your waist and carefully leads you out of the hall. Alicent, meanwhile, asks the servants to inform the maesters and midwives that the baby is coming and to prepare everything for the birth.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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[bunglegaydogs]

Oda and Dazai's relationship

Forewarning now that I've finished it; This is fucking long. Like, I;m not joking, this is almost 10,000 words. Anyways, if you want to read some of it, enjoy! <3

The things in this anime that get me are Odasaku and Dazai, Dazai and Chuuya, Yosano and Ranpo and Ranpo and Fukuzawa. Those dynamics FUCK ME UP.

And so because I like to torture myself with tears and emotions, I'm going to go on a rant about Dazai and Odasaku, because holy shit I finished The Dark Era LN yesterday and I was crying so hard that I was dizzy, shaking and could not breathe. It fucked me up fr. Anyways, I love their father/son / brother dynamic, so :)

I don't even know where to start with this? It's going to be an incoherent and incomprehensible rant, but I need to get my shit out there.

Their relationship is one of the most intrinsic and gut wrenching. Not just on a familial level, but on a personal level. Despite them never being personal with each other, they knew each other the best. Literal best friends. And that's what's so heartbreaking about Oda's death. Dazai never opens up to anyone, he never shows his true face, and always hides his intentions. When he shows his "true face" it's for a split second, blink and you miss it. As I said in a previous post, remember the Wan! jumpscare? Where Atsushi got very upset about Dazai talking about how when he goes, he wants to go out just as beautifully? That shit hurted. But it was a brief slip of the mask. After that, he remains silent. Not a word. He just stares at the fireworks, dull lifeless eyes looking up at the sky. And, when Dazai shows these sides to Odasaku, Odasaku is clearly upset by them, showing how deeply he cares for Dazai. The Dark Era LN is literally the best thing ever for going into the itty bitty of their relationship, I actually love it so much, and I will be referencing it a thousand times in this.

First episode, 15 minutes in and we already see that Dazai cares a lot for Oda. Just after Oda gets sniped in Ango's room and he phones Dazai, Dazai at first jokes about how he never usually calls him. When he realises that Oda is in a serious situation, his demeanour changes. And when Oda says that he has the Silver Oracle on hand if need be, "There's no need. Don't push yourself too hard. Wait for me to get there." Just that one sentence and we see how much he cares for him. He's being protective, making sure that Oda doesn't get himself hurt. Then, of course, comes the actual alley scene where we see a much darker side to Dazai and the anime as a whole, however it's where we also see how Dazai's mindset and habits affect Odasaku negatively, and how upset he gets when Dazai pulls this shit. There are some vital differences in the anime and with the LN which really fucking get me. The LN goes more in depth of course, but we hear the emotion in the anime. But, the book is written so well that we know the emotions anyway.

“I can see you’re not happy… I’m sorry for compromising your principles.”

His smile weakened as he spoke. Dazai usually never apologized to anyone, which was why what he said really rang true.

This always fucking gets me. He genuinely cares about what Odasaku thinks and how he feels. Dazai, who generally does not care for the emotions of others and such, apolgises when he sees that Oda is upset by something that he's done and is affected by Oda being upset, which is something that, when it comes to Dazai, is shocking, as we hardly ever see that side of him. The majority of the times that we do (honestly, if we ever do) is with Odasaku. A genuine deep-rooted affection and fondness for someone else. Yes, he deeply cares about those in the ADA, but not to the extent that he cared about Oda. He is concerned for those in the Agency's wellbeing, of course. But he's never been cared for by anyone but Odasaku before. The Agency all have deep trust between them, but Dazai will never ever show his true self to any of them. He is a guarded person, never letting anybody see his true intentions or if he's truly hurting. Odasaku has been the only one to ever see that. One of Odasaku's regrets whilst he was dying was that he never tried to get Dazai to speak up about his issues; in the LN it has such a good way of explaining how he feels about it and it tears my heart apart.

“Your organization’s called Mimic, right?” Dazai asked the man, but he didn’t reply. He didn’t even blink. “I’m not expecting an answer. To tell the truth, I admire you guys. No other organization has tried to take the Mafia head-on like this before. And nobody has ever successfully managed to point their gun at me like this with the intent to kill, either.”

Dazai faced the attacker, then began to walk toward him as if he were taking a stroll through his garden.

“Dazai, stop,” I begged in a hushed tone.

“I hope you can see the excitement in my eyes, too.” Dazai continued to address the enemy who was holding him at gunpoint. “If you just squeeze your finger ever so slightly, you can give me precisely what I crave most. The only thing I’m afraid of is that you’ll miss.”

His lips curled as he approached the man. The muzzle was now fewer than ten feet away.

“You need to aim for the heart or the head. I recommend the head. You only get one chance, though. My colleagues here won’t be kind enough to give you another.” Dazai tapped the middle of his forehead right over his eyebrows a few times. “But I know you can do it. You’re a sniper, aren’t you? I can still see the imprint from the sniper rifle on your cheek. You’re not the spotter.”

“Now shoot. Right here. You can’t miss from this close up.” Dazai grinned from ear to ear. “You’ll be killed whether or not you shoot, so just bury the enemy executive before you go.”

“Dazai!” I screamed. I felt as though we were thousands of miles apart.

“Please take me with you. Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream. Come, now. Shoot.”

Still pointing at his forehead, Dazai closed in on the enemy with a smile that could’ve even been described as peaceful.

The attacker bit his lip and tightened his finger around the trigger.

—He’s at his breaking point!

The sniper and I fired almost simultaneously.

Two flashes of light flooded the alley.

Shot in the arm, the man spun around.

Dazai violently bent backward after being shot point-blank.

A split second like a blue flash of lightning.

A never-ending instant.

Then time began to move again.

Immediately, Dazai’s men showered the enemy with bullets as he spun from the impact of my shot. Like a rag being pummeled by a waterfall, the man was thrown backward, scattering flesh and blood until he perished.

Leaning away, Dazai took two, three steps back before stopping.

“…………How unfortunate,” he lamented, still bent over. “Looks like I didn’t manage to die this time, either.”

Dazai lifted his head up. The skin on the side of his head, slightly above his right ear, was slit open and bleeding.

The bullet had just missed.

I looked at Dazai. There was something there invisible to the human eye. You could’ve called it demons of the mind—something that could never be seen—just something compelled to destroy all.

“Sorry to shock you like that.” Noticing my gaze, Dazai scratched the side of his head and grinned. “Pretty realistic acting, right? I knew from the start that he would miss. The imprint from the sniper rifle was on his left cheek, meaning that was the side he used to shoot. In other words, he’s left-handed, but he was holding the pistol in his right hand. So he was going to shoot with his nondominant hand, he could barely even stand on those wobbly legs, and to make matters worse, he was using that old-fashioned gun. The only way he would have hit me was if he pressed the muzzle against my body.”

I didn’t say anything. I just stared at Dazai as he explained with a smile.

“All I had to do was talk to him to buy some time until his arm got tired. If I slowly walked toward him, he wouldn’t be able to shoot straight away. The rest was in your hands, Odasaku. I knew you would do something. Pretty logical, right?”

“Yeah.”

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

After returning my gun to its holster, I turned my back to Dazai and began walking away. With every step I took, I felt as if the ground were going to collapse, creating a bottomless hole that I would fall through for an eternity.

Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.

Sorry for the long extract. Just thought the whole scene was the most effective way of showing it.

Anyways, this is one of the scenes that fucks me up the most.

Because through Odasaku's eyes, all that he sees here is a lost child, pleading and crying out for help. Despite Dazai being 18, to Oda he's still young (which, he is. 18 is fucking young.) to him. When he sees Dazai like this, he grows protective. He is rattled and very clearly shaken. The difference between the LN and the anime here is that Odasaku in the anime tells him to be quiet, because he's "heard enough". He knows that Dazai is just chatting a bit of wham.

"Dazai, stop," I begged in a hushed tone.

He's upset. Odasaku is a fucking expert at hiding his emotions, as we see when Mori tells him that Ango is missing. He expresses absolutely nothing, the twitch of his finger being the only giveaway. Here, we see how emotionally distressed he is by Dazai's actions, showing how much he truly cares for Dazai.

“Now shoot. Right here. You can’t miss from this close up.” Dazai grinned from ear to ear. “You’ll be killed whether or not you shoot, so just bury the enemy executive before you go.”

“Dazai!” I screamed. I felt as though we were thousands of miles apart.

This, once again, shows just how distressed he is. This scene fucking breaks me. He feels so far away from Dazai, because nobody can fucking reach him. Dazai's so far gone into this darkness that he's shrouded himself and found himself in that nobody can ever reach him. They can't pull him back from that ledge.

Dazai violently bent backward after being shot point-blank.

A split second like a blue flash of lightning.

A never-ending instant.

Then time began to move again.

He is fucking distressed here. Odasaku isn't doing okay, because he's scared that Dazai is dead. However, despite him knwoing he's not thanks to Flawless, he's still fucking terrified and shaken.

I looked at Dazai. There was something there invisible to the human eye. You could’ve called it demons of the mind—something that could never be seen—just something compelled to destroy all.

Oda sees more than what everyone else sees; everyone else sees a sociopathic suicidal maniac who's strange and quirky and has a weird fucking goofy side to him. However, Oda sees more to Dazai than this. Another thing to mention is that whilst everyone looks at Dazai and thinks "Wow, he seems so young for the amount of achievements in the mafia that he has. Scary kid." Odasaku sees Dazai as a child who is in need of help, a crying child who seeks someone to love and care for him. A lonely child.

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

After returning my gun to its holster, I turned my back to Dazai and began walking away. With every step I took, I felt as if the ground were going to collapse, creating a bottomless hole that I would fall through for an eternity.

Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.

This. This scene is everything to me. I will never not talk about this scene when talking about Dazai and Oda. It genuinely gets me in tears, I can't deal. When I first read this I had to stop for a second, because holy shit it just got me. Oda is the only one who has ever seen Dazai like this; everyone else sees him as someone to be used, or someone to be hated, or someone to be feared. But Oda sees him as someone to be loved. When Oda says 'Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.', I don't know which explanation of mine I think is the most suitable. Because, he either says this because he sees that expression, and to him it seems like Dazai is so fucking happy and ecstatic to finally having what he craves the most, and that alone unsettles Oda. Or, Oda sees that expression and is so unsettled, because to him Dazai is just a child. A crying child that is shouting for help. I genuinely think it's both, but hey, who am I to be able to discern? I'm fucking dumb lol.

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

Here, we see Oda's reaction after the initial shock. Here, I think it's pretty father/brother like of him when he says 'I probably would've punched him right then.' It's a protective and familial instinct; Odasaku is distressed, and wants Dazai to know that what he did was not okay. Oda is not happy with him, and Dazai kind of knows this, but doesn't know how to respond to it. As aforementioned, nobody has cared for Dazai like Odasaku does.

Now, time for a little insight on how Oda sees Dazai, and more explanation for how Oda wants to shelter him and protect him like a fucking son. One of the most heartbreaking fucking parts of the entire series; Dazai opening up for the first time ever. At least, I'm sure it is (that we see, I mean). After Dazai and Odasaku go to Bar Lupin and find Ango there, and Dazai then explains why he's not upset (bullshit he's devastated) and reveals a deep part of him, something which none of them have done with each other before, really. However, different translations, so I'll just put all three.

"It's alright, I'm not sad. I knew this would happen from the beginning. It wouldn't have mattered what side you were on. Because anything I never want to lose, is always lost. This is how it's always been for me. Everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life of suffering." - Anime dub. "I'm not sad. I knew this from the beginning. Whether you were with the gifted special operations division or not, anything I would never want to lose is always lost. It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering." - Anime sub. “I’m not sad. I knew from the very beginning,” Dazai said. His face was a blank mask now. “It didn’t matter whether you were with the Special Division for Unusual Powers. I always lose the things I don’t want to lose the most. That’s why I don’t feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it. That’s just how things are. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.” - Dark Era LN

This is actually one of the most gut wrenching scenes ever, I can't deal. Because honestly, I relate to this on a fucking spiritual level.

One of the parts that really sticks out to me is the "That's why I don't feel anything anymore." because that is how he manages these things. How he keeps his emotions in check. He just doesn't feel, he's desensitised to these things, and he tries to make sure that he doesn't care for anything, whether that be himself, subordinates, partners, friends, figures in his life, etc. He numbs himself to it all because he expects only hurt to come out of it. However, he let his guard down. He thought he could have a nice thing, and it was snatched away from him the moment he came to peace with the fact that he was comfortable with them, Oda and Ango. Then, the one thing he doesn't want to happen at all, the one fucking thing he has left to hold onto in this world is fucking ripped from him; Oda. Having already expected bad outcomes to anything that he truly desires, he still couldn't of expected it to happen and obviously wasn't prepared for Oda to just go and die like that. And he doesn't know what to do anymore. Because Oda was the last thing, his last tether to this world. He was the one thing worth living for, really, and now he's gone. Yet, Oda's final wish gives him something to keep pursuing in life. He sees no value in the act of living, and he himself sees no value within him. So, the one thing that keeps him going is Oda's final words to him. Oda's death hit him hard (obvs) because he was the last stable thing in his life when everything else fell apart. And now, he has nothing else to lean on. Oda was there for him, Oda cared for him and wasn't just using him. Dazai realises this, and that's what makes it so devastating, because Oda was the only person who Dazai could actually trust and love without getting hurt in some way or other. And we all know how important trust is to Dazai (the people that Dazai trusts are minimal. It's fucking Chuuya and Oda. Yes, he trusts the ADA. Not to the extent of these two. He places his everything in them, just in opposite ways.).

I stared at Dazai. We had known each other for a while, but this was the first time he’d ever opened up about himself. I could see a thorn the size of a harpoon wedged deeply into his life.

This got me fucked up fr fr. Oda's response to Dazai's spiel about losing the things he yearns the most. For the two years that they've known each other, Dazai has not once opened up to them. Not a single time. Yet, they all have such a deep friendship and bond that that doesn't even matter; they're as close as they are regardless. 'I could see a thorn the size of a harpoon wedged deeply into his life.' Again, this impacts Oda, because he sees how much Dazai is hurting and, once again, craves to soothe him, because he sees a child in distress.

“Dazai.”

He paused when I called his name. I didn’t have anything else to say, though; I simply said his name.

Nobody knew what Dazai was really thinking.

It’s an unwritten rule in the Mafia to not stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. One must never open the door to another’s heart and try to judge them for the darkness tucked within. That was one nice thing about the Mafia.

But maybe, just maybe, that was the wrong approach—or at the very least, when it came to the man sitting next to me. Somebody probably should’ve tied him up, pried his chest open, and stuffed a vacuum cleaner inside. Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they’d suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.

But in reality, such a vacuum didn’t exist. Chests don’t open up like that, and no one is capable of such feats. What we see is everything, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent.

“Well, I should get going,” Dazai said before standing.

“Dazai.” He turned around when I called out to him. Rubbing my hands together, I looked down at the empty plate and coffee cup, then back up. “Are you thinking that way because—?”

Out of nowhere, Dazai’s cell phone began to ring. He lightly bowed to me before placing the phone against his ear and answering. A few moments went by as he listened to whoever was on the other side, but soon enough, his lips suddenly twisted into a grin.

Bro, bro. This gets me fucked up.

Nobody knew what Dazai was really thinking.

It’s an unwritten rule in the Mafia to not stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. One must never open the door to another’s heart and try to judge them for the darkness tucked within. That was one nice thing about the Mafia.

'...for the darkness tucked within.' With it being the mafia, Odasaku clearly knows that everyone's going through some fucked up shit. And he knows not to stick his nose in other people's business, because he wouldn't want people doing that to him. Except, something is compelling him to get Dazai to open up, to show Odasaku the darkness and seek the help he needs. Once again, crying child analogy.

But maybe, just maybe, that was the wrong approach—or at the very least, when it came to the man sitting next to me. Somebody probably should’ve tied him up, pried his chest open, and stuffed a vacuum cleaner inside. Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they’d suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.

'Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they'd suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.' Christ, Odasaku. Pretty fucking deep analogy there. But this here just shows us how deeply affected and wounded Oda is by how hurt Dazai is. It also gives us more child-like statements from Oda. The way he describes it here just reminds me of a child. A child, kicking and screaming because whatever is happening to them they do not like. And this is exactly what's happening; he's saying that he knows that Dazai would not appreciate people looking further into his life and soul, and that he would very clearly make a fuss and a protest about it. It also likens it to 'The Time I Picked Up Dazai' (it's such a good read. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest that you do. Also, spoilers ahead for it <3) ~~~ The way it reflects the book is in it, there is a scene in which Oda has to physically restrain Dazai from trying to stab himself with a knife whilst he's grinning like a madman.

~~~

However, my expectation is betrayed once again. I have forgotten about the foreign matter that exists in this house. Dazai, of course. He is more unpredictable than any human I have ever met. For example, if two people are on a three-legged race to the goal, Dazai might just turn around and start running in the opposite direction at a random moment. Or, he can desperately climb a cliff to survive, then all of a sudden, say that he wants to fall off it and die. He is a guy that has strayed too far from the reasons of this world. Our dear Trickster.

Dazai suddenly comes up with the idea that if he jumps out of the door with a gun in his hand, there are chances he can be shot dead by the cops. Oda tells him there is no gun in the house, so he decides to get a knife instead. He rushes into the kitchen, even faster than Oda. The cops outside notice the sound and ask them to open the door.

Oda knows that he has to stop Dazai, if he doesn’t want things to get worse.

I have to stop that. I so want to cry and ask someone to help, but there is no one who can do it but me now.

He jumps up and sweeps Dazai’s legs, making him roll on the floor. He grabs Dazai’s neck, turns behind and gets into a chokehold, trying to choke him unconscious. Dazai, as a result, struggles happily while kicking his legs around. He hits the kitchen cabinet once, twice until Oda hears a sound of something coming off. Oda realizes that those desperate kicks are actually on purpose, and it makes the knife Dazai was trying to grab earlier fall off right to where Oda is. Oda can’t move because he is busy holding Dazai down, so he has to use his ability to predict the track of the knife and barely dodges it. The knife stabs vertically into the floor next to him. He tries to calm Dazai down.

“Be still.” I say, “Don’t struggle. It is not scary. It doesn’t hurt.”

I don’t even know what I’m saying myself.

“You liar! Mori-san said the same thing when he gave me shots.”

Dazai says so and keeps going wild. It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai. Who is this Mori-san again?

Dazai keeps kicking the kitchen stand and this time, it’s the kettle above Oda’s head that’s going to fall.

It is a situation that I have never experienced before. A kettle above my head, a knife next to my face, false money somewhere in my room, cops at my door. And I’m strangling a guy I just barely met.

Oda finally manages to choke Dazai unconscious. He goes “fufu ahaha” before he faints. Oda pulls out the knife next to him and throws it toward the falling kettle, successfully catching it by its handle and having it jammed into the wooden part of the kitchen cabinet. By that time, the cops also manage to kick the door open and step into the room.

~~~

(translation and descriptions by @popopretty ! <333)

This entire scene is so fucking goofy to me and genuinely one of my favourites, but it's also really scary because Dazai just really wants to fucking die. However, after only a few days of knowing him, Oda is growing to care for him and doesn't want him to die. Twice in this extract thing does he try and stop him, and then once more before this when Dazai tries crawling out of the house to go and die outside, to which Odasaku grabs him by his legs, wraps him in a blanket, drags him back to the bed and ties him up. Referring back to Odasaku's analogy to "get the darkness out" of Dazai, this scene is pretty similar to what he said. Dazai is fucking booting the kitchen cabinet to try and stab himself with the knife or get crushed by the kettle, and Oda is doing his damndest to stop him, resorting to strangling him unconscious so that he doesn't keep going fucking insane. Dazai, of course, finds this all highly amusing. To be honest, I might have only just realised that I'm reading it wrong. He was trying to kill himself with the knife first, but then because Oda gets him in a chokehold, he tries to get him off him instead? Man, I don't know. Either way, goofiest scene ever. I love it. But, he's 16 here (I think. I tried working it out, and I think he is. Because in Side B, when he's torturing that guy, he says that he's a PM Executive. And Oda talks about how young he looks, and in the anime/LN talks about the fact that he's known him a fairly long time. I wouldn't say that one year is a long time, but two years yeah. So Dazai's either 17 or 16 when he first meets Oda, and I won't lie, I think 16. ANYWAYS-) and so of course, Oda sees him as a child (which he is). However, despite him watching Dazai age for those two years, he still sees him as a child that he needs to protect, a child that he worries for.

He tries to calm Dazai down.

“Be still.” I say, “Don’t struggle. It is not scary. It doesn’t hurt.”

I don’t even know what I’m saying myself.

“You liar! Mori-san said the same thing when he gave me shots.”

Dazai says so and keeps going wild. It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai. Who is this Mori-san again?

This entire interaction to me seems like a child at the dentist or something. Despite the fact that he's got a kid in a chokehold tryna knock him out, he's reassuring him that it's fine, painless, and that he needs to calm down. Crying. This fucking guy. This whole bit is literally just Oda trying to subdue a kid going off the rails, and even the references to Mori (I will be fucking getting into what Dazai said when I do another analysis thing, don't you fucking worry) and Oda thinking 'It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai.' Problem child fr. Makes me giggle, also makes me sad. Anyways. Odasaku and Dazai's interactions are usually Odasaku letting Dazai be quite child-like, allowing for these things, because he knows that he hasn't been able to have a childhod or be a child. He lets Dazai be who he wants to be in front of him, no judgement. Dazai has many faces for other people, but with Oda, he can just let his guard down that small bit, be more comfortable with him. And Ango. They were like his makeshift parents in the time that he knew them. And then he loses that found family, and so where's that left him now?

“I have this friend who’s supporting several orphans all on his own, you see,” he continued, his weapon still drawn and aimed at the boy. “Akutagawa, I’m sure Odasaku would’ve been patient enough to give you the guidance you needed had he been the one who’d found you on the brink of starvation in the slums. That would have been the ‘right’ thing to do. But ‘righteousness’ doesn’t take very kindly to me. And there’s only one thing people like me do to useless subordinates.”

Okay, this is going to deep Dazai a bit more rather than both Dazai and Oda's relationship. The part about righteousness reminds me of when Chuuya scolded him for shooting the dead body more times than was morally necessary. And he says 'Yeah. That would be the right/normal/ordinary way to think. Of course. Haha.' Dazai has no sense of right or wrong, as Odasaku says. He says to him that he knows he doesn't care about good or bad, and he can never fill that emptiness that he so desperately longs to fill. Dazai isn't like how he is here around Odasaku, because he trusts Odasaku and doesn't need to be intimidating or cold around him. He's allowed to be playful and innocent, and truly try and connect to that child he'd long ago lost and forgotten. And with Ango and Oda both looking out for him, with them two he truly felt like he belonged somewhere, and had people to care for him, despite him not knowing how to handle that or how to cope with it. He doesn't understand why, but he can let himself indulge in it for just a bit. He needs Ango and Oda there for him, and when he loses that, he loses himself. Slowly, he's becoming more and more empty and at a loss with himself for what to do, which is something we don't see from Dazai. Dazai knows everything that is going to happen. He knows everything, and doesn't need to question what he does or what to do next, as he always has his next step planned. However, when Oda dies, we see that facade come crumbling down as for one of the first times, he can't keep his emotions in check and he doesn't know what to do or where to go from here, as the last things he was holding onto in this world have left him, and he's left with nothing but himself and a cavenous hole in his heart where Ango and Oda once sat. That's been ripped from him, and so with his emotions laid bare in front of him as he's forced to confront a distressing situation, he looks to Oda for help. He doesn't know what to do with himself once Oda leaves him, and so he desperately asks Oda to help him. Fuck me, I'm tearing up sorry lmao.

I was in a hospital room. It was clean, ordinary, and as silent as a morgue. Standing firm with his feet apart by the door was a man in a black suit and sunglasses. The moment our eyes met, he silently left, apparently to go get someone.

“Hey, Odasaku. You’re awake now, right? How are you feeling?”

Dazai walked into the room with a cheerful smirk.

Sorry, this is just here because I'd like to point out that Dazai was waiting for him that whole time since he found him, and he had someone guard the door to make sure that nobody would come back for him, I'm guessing. And also he must have told the guy "Ay tell me when he wakes up." And that just really warms my heart and devastates me at the same time <3

Dazai placed a thumb against his lips, then shifted into a thinking position. He didn’t even move an inch for a full minute after that. Only his eyes wavered, following something only he could see. I waited in silence.

Oda's patience with Dazai. Wholesome shit. He fr sat there for a while minute in silence to let Dazai think.

I got out of the bed as I listened. My fingers were still slightly numb, but not enough to bother me during battle.

“Odasaku, don’t tell me you plan on going,” he said as if reprimanding me.

This is one of the moments where we see a more brotherly relationship from the two of them. Dazai is scolding Oda because he's injured and has just been through quite the ordeal, yet he's still standing up and leaaving to go fight and help Dazai's men.

I didn’t answer him; I just opened the door and left. Dazai saw me off without pushing any further. Despite not even exchanging a word, we were thinking the same thing.

Vice versa; Dazai's patience with Oda, and the fact that he doesn't push Odasaku for anything more than he's given him. If Odasaku doesn't want to say anything, Dazai won't pressure him into talking. He won't force him to say anything he doesn't want to. They respect each other, and they understand one another. 'Despite not even exchanging a word, we were thinking the same thing.' They understand each other to such a degree that countless times throughout this arc, they wordlessly communicate with one another, basically read the other's mind or just know what they're thinking, about to say, their plans, etc. It's a very important dynamic that shows their level of trust and their bond.

Now, this is going to be the bit that fucks me up the most, and I will cry whilst writing these bits. Because now we're getting into Oda's death and Dazai's reaction to realising Mori's plans, etc.

“Odasaku!”

I was stopped by a familiar voice the moment I left the restaurant.

“Dazai? What’s wrong?”

Clearly, for Odasaku to ask what was wrong, Dazai must have sounded pretty fucking emotional. Also, Oda, babes, the fuck you mean "what's wrong" as if he's not gonna know?

“Odasaku, I know what you’re thinking, but don’t. Doing that isn’t going to—”

“Isn’t going to bring the kids back?” I asked.

Lost for words, Dazai fell silent. 

Dazai being "lost for words" and "silent" is quite the shock. Dazai always knows what words to say, how to say them, when to say them, etc. He always has some retort or sarcastic reply, and always has to get the last word in. Dazai being at a loss for words shows just how unprecedented this is for him, and how he doesn't know how to cope with it. Once again, he is a lost child, seeking guidance.

“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something… Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia?”

I stared at him. We had known each other for a long time, but he’d never even attempted to talk about that.

“I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…” Dazai paused before continuing, “…I would be able to find something—a reason to live.”

I looked at him; he looked back at me.

“I wanted to be a novelist,” I said. “I thought I wouldn’t deserve such a life if I killed someone during a mission. That’s why I never killed anyone. But that’s all in the past. There’s only one thing I want now.”

“Odasaku!”

I began to walk away. Dazai yelled out, but I didn’t turn around.

First of all;

“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something… Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia?”

The fact that he asks for forgiveness for his "absurd wording" of don't go. It shows just how much he lacks in understanding others and himself. He thinks that these are the "wrong things" to say, because he's not used to expressing his emotions properly, and he can't articulate how he feels, because he usually feels nothing. He's usually numb and does not give a shit, but here he's completely puzzled and lost because he's feeling too much.

I stared at him. We had known each other for a long time, but he’d never even attempted to talk about that.

Not once. He'd never even brought it up in conversation, or even "attempted" it. He hides himself from the world and those around him in order to guard himself so that he doesn't get hurt or lose the things he cares about, which is why he detaches himself and numbs down everything so that he doesn't care about anyone or anything.

“Odasaku!”

I began to walk away. Dazai yelled out, but I didn’t turn around.

This will fucking kill him. One of my favourite (technically two) scenes in the anime is the parallel's between Dazai reaching out for Oda when he walks away from him, and Oda reaching out for Dazai when he walks away from him, both times one of them is heading towards death and the other is trying to stop them. But they're not close enough, and they're not fast enough. Genuinely, the scenes kill me, because the parallel's are stunning, I won't lie. It's fucking heartbreakingly beautiful.

Dazai strode confidently through the Mafia’s high-rise headquarters downtown at a quick clip, his heels practically scraping off the carpet underfoot. He got on the glass-paneled elevator alone, pressed the button to the top floor, then closed his eyes. When the elevator reached his destination, he opened his eyes again. His gaze was focused on only one thing—the office at the very end of the hallway.

Now, I have a few mini theories about why he closed his eyes, but what I want to focus on is not that. It's his determination and desperation to save Odasaku.

“Boss.” Dazai cut him off. “You know why I’m here, don’t you?”

The fucking Boss of the Port Mafia. Yet, Dazai has no time for games. He has no time for Mori's bullshit antics, he needs to save Odasaku. That is his number one priority right now.

Taken by surprise, Dazai fell silent. Even he felt as if he were walking on fine blades whenever he talked with Ougai. If he made just one little mistake, he could fall off the path. After pondering to himself for a moment, Dazai said, “I need permission to form a small team of executive-level skill users to attack Mimic headquarters and rescue Odasaku.”

He cannot afford to mess this up, because Oda needs him. Once again, Dazai is taken by surprise and sent into silence, which is extremely odd and rare for him to do so. He is clearly nervous about talking to Mori already, on top of the added pressure of Odasaku's life in his hands right now.

Dazai stared back at the boss without breaking eye contact for even a moment. Ougai’s narrowed eyes harbored a tinge of cleverness, as if they could see into his heart. It was the same kind of light that was once in Dazai’s eyes when he looked upon his enemies or allies.

Enemy or ally regardless, Dazai saw everyone the same. He had no time to be concerned with other people, especially as he isn't even concerned for himself. So, again like I said, he numbs himself to these things. He makes it so that he doesn't feel, and so that should an unfortunate situation come to pass, he's not affected by it by harbouring fondness for other people. Which is why it says "was the same kind", not "is the same kind", because Odasaku has changed him. Oda is neither friend nor foe; he's family. He's the most important thing in Dazai's life. He's a sole figure, there for him. A true father figure, someone to raise him properly, unlike Mori. Dazai realises this; as we see here, Dazai is no longer interested in anything anymore. He has grown tired even of the Port Mafia, and he certainly doesn't hold Mori in high regard as he once kind of did.

“Odasaku is currently scouting the enemy headquarters alone,” Dazai said, keeping his emotions in check. “I sent an emergency response team of Mafia members to the area, but it isn’t nearly enough. At this rate, we are going to lose a valuable skill user.”

"Keeping his emotions in check." He's not lowering his guard down in front of Mori. He won't show him his true face. But right now, he's desperate. He wants Odasaku saved, and he will do whatever it takes.

 “Of course, he’s a dear ally of ours, but is he worth sending executive-level men to the front line to save?”

“Yes,” Dazai confidently declared. “Of course he is.”

Ougai fell silent. He looked at Dazai, who looked straight back at him. It was an eloquent silence. The two men understood the other’s state of mind and how they would counter.

Dazai is prepared to risk his life for Oda, and Mori sees this, using it to his advantage. He sees just how much Dazai cares about Odasaku and manipulates the whole thing behind the scenes. And the zero hesitation from Dazai when he says it. "The two understood the other's state of mind and how they would counter." Once again, Mori has raised Dazai to be so much like him that they understand each other and a far more complex level than ordinary people. Also, this line just shows that Mori sees how fragile Dazai's state of mind is at the present time, his desperation to save his friend.

“…Dazai.” It was Ougai who put an end to the wordless debate. “Let me ask you this. I understand your plan, but in all likelihood, Oda doesn’t want help. What do you think about that?”

Dazai tried to answer, but he could not find the words to say. 

Dazai knows Oda best. He knows that it's true, but nothing is going to stop him from trying. Still, he's trying to articulate his words, which he isn't doing too well at.

 Dazai’s eyes were inadvertently locked on the envelope. Suddenly, he caught his breath.

“This envelope—”

Something began to thrash and flicker in the back of Dazai’s mind. It gradually turned into physical shaking, causing his head to go numb.

“I see.” Dazai managed to squeeze out just those two words, his face deathly pale. “So that’s what this is.”

Then he turned on his heel and put his back to Ougai.

“If you’ll excuse me.”

“Where are you going?” Ougai asked.

“To Odasaku.”

Now this is the part that really gets me.

With just one measly glance, Dazai has seen Mori's plan, beginning to end. Which is why he's so eager to leave, because he knows that Mori is planning to let this end with/in Oda's death. And the part that really gets me emotional is 'Something began to thrash and flicker in the back of Dazai’s mind. It gradually turned into physical shaking, causing his head to go numb.' We've never seen such a visceral reaction from Dazai before (with the exception of Oda's death.), with him physically shaking and his mind racing. Man's is fucking trembling, because he knows everything in that moment. And he can't bear it. Dazai, who usually has a tight hold of his emotions, cannot keep his grip on them no more, when it comes to Odasaku. Oda is so important to him, and Dazai realises that soon there is a high chance of him losing that.

Dazai calmly stared at the guns pointed in his direction.

“You still haven’t had any tea, Dazai,” Ougai said. “Come—have a seat.”

Dazai didn’t even budge. A guard in a black suit slipped to his side, then pointed the automatic rifle’s muzzle right at his head.

“Odasaku’s waiting for me.”

“Sit.”

All that is going through his head right now is Odasaku. He can't think of anything else, he doesn't have time for that. He can't afford to think about anything but the plan of action to save him.

“Dazai.” Ougai, who had been listening in silence, cut Dazai off for the first time. “What remarkable inference. There is nothing that needs correcting. I have just one thing I’d like to ask: What’s wrong with that?”

“……”

This is one of our first hints towards Dazai showing a hint of compassion for other people, because he now knows what it's like when you have someone that you love.

"So why are you so angry?”

Dazai didn’t say a word. That was just about the first time he’d ever been unable to articulate his feelings.

“I…”

—“There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.”

—“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

“I just…” His voice came out strained. “I just don’t get it. You were the one who tipped Mimic off about the orphans’ safe house. No one else could’ve found out about the location I chose. You killed those kids to get Odasaku to fight Mimic’s leader because he is the only one who can defeat him.”

“My answer is the same, Dazai. I will do anything for the benefit of the organization. Besides, we are the Port Mafia. We have always brought darkness, violence, and cruelty to this city. Why is that a problem now?”

This scene is also another scene that really gets me fucking devastated. We have never seen Dazai like this. Strained voice, unable to speak, and seeming timid and meek. Here is the child that Oda sees when he looks at Dazai; lost, wandering and alone. He can't say what he feels, he doesn't know how to. He knows nothing but to numb himself from these things to not get hurt. "I just don't get it." Dazai doesn't understand, which is scary for him. He's not used to it, and he doesn't like it. He wants to save Odasaku, and the one time he needs to be clever and think about it, he's unable to, because he doesn't know what's going on.

Dazai knew. He knew Ougai’s calculations, his mentality, and the rationale behind the plan. That was just the kind of organization the Port Mafia was. Logically speaking, Ougai was right, and Dazai was wrong.

“But…”

He turned on his heel, then began walking toward the door. Immediately, Ougai’s guards pointed their guns at him.

“You cannot go, Dazai,” Ougai called out to stop him. “Stay. Or do you have a logical reason for going to him?”

He wants to get to Odasaku. He doesn't care if he betrays Mori's orders; Odasaku comes first. He knows the logic behind it, yet he doesn't care. Morally, Dazai is right, and that's probably a first.

Ougai grinned. “True. However, you wouldn’t gain anything by disobeying me and going to him, either. Am I wrong?”

“That’s the second thing I wanted to say, Boss. There’s nothing in it for me. There’s only one reason why I’m going. Because he is my friend. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

The guards placed their fingers on the triggers. However, Dazai paid them no mind and simply strolled to the door as if he were going for a walk. 

Again, he is not assed. This is the first time Dazai has openly admitted to having a friend, or any kind of relation. Which is what makes it hurt more; because the second he acknowledges it, he loses it. 'There's nothing in it for me.' He's not doing this out of personal gain, like Mori does, he's doing it because he doesn't want to lose somebody important to him.

“Odasaku!”

Dazai rushed into the building and over to the ballroom, passing the myriad of corpses through the corridors along the way. When he burst through the oak doors, he saw his friend lying on the ground.

“Odasaku!”

Despite the chance of there being soldiers lurking, waiting to kill him, or the chance that Gide was still alive and would kill him, he continues to search for Odasaku. And when he finds him, fuck, it's not very pleasant. God, I'm going to cry.

“Dazai…”

Dazai rushed over to Odasaku, then checked his wounds. The bullet had pierced Odasaku’s chest, and a vast pool of blood had collected on the floor. It was clear that the wound was fatal.

“You’re such an idiot, Odasaku. The biggest idiot I know.”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t have to do this. You didn’t have to die.”

“I know.”

Odasaku smirked with that particular satisfaction of accomplishing something worth the cost.

“Dazai… There’s something I want to say.”

This shit hurted.

“Don’t. Stop. We might still be able to save you. No, we will save you. So don’t say such—”

“Listen.” Odasaku wrapped his blood-soaked hand around Dazai’s. “You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live…”

“Yeah, I said that. I did. But what difference does that—?”

“You won’t find it,” Odasaku said in almost a whisper. Dazai stared at him.

Dazai is trying to convince himself that everything will be fine, that they will save Odasaku. He's determined; he won't let him die on him like this. And Dazai doesn't care about anything else but him right now.

“You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity.”

—“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined—right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had known him so well.

For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted from the bottom of his heart to know something. He asked the man before him:

“Odasaku… What should I do?”

OKAY NOW THIS.

This is one of the most important parts; because Dazai finally found someone who understood him. Nobody has gotten further in understanding him than Odasaku has, and the fact that he realises this just before he dies is what makes his death hit even harder. And the fact that, at this last moment, Dazai seeks guidance from the man in his arms. Because once he's gone, he has nobody left. Nothing. And just at this last moment, Dazai "wanted from from the bottom of his heart to know something". We see Dazai continuously dehumanise himself, not seeing himself as an actual person half the time. He believes that he is heartless, cold, and cruel. Yet, here, we see that Oda has had a strong impact on him; he's made him realise that maybe he does have something there. Also, where it says "almost to the center of his mind". Dazai's mind is just impenetreable, yet Oda has gotten the farthest. That alone is a feat in itself, and Dazai realises just how close they are, and how much Oda really, truly understands him on a personal level.

“Be on the side that saves people,” Odasaku replied. “If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful.”

“How do you know?”

“I know. I know better than anyone else.”

Dazai gazed into Odasaku’s eyes and saw a glow of conviction.

It was clear that those words were supported by some sort of strong basis. Whether it was past experience or someone’s advice—Odasaku was trying to show Dazai the path he himself had once tried to walk. Dazai knew that.

That was why he could bring himself to believe it.

“…Okay. I will.”

“‘People live to save themselves. It’s something they realize right before they die,’ huh…? He was…right…” The color in Odasaku’s face gradually disappeared until he was almost completely pale. He smiled. “I could really go for some of that curry…”

With trembling fingers, Odasaku reached for the cigarettes in his pocket before sluggishly placing one in his mouth. By the time he pulled out a match, his fingers were too weak to hold it anymore. Dazai took the match and lit the cigarette for him. Then Odasaku closed his eyes, smoking the cigarette as he smiled, filled to the brim with satisfaction.

The cigarette fell to the ground.

Dropping onto his knees by Odasaku’s side, Dazai looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. His tightly shut lips faintly trembled. The smoke from the cigarette rose straight up to the top.

Nobody said a word.

Now, here;

"...but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful.”

“How do you know?”

“I know. I know better than anyone else.”

Dazai gazed into Odasaku’s eyes and saw a glow of conviction.

It was clear that those words were supported by some sort of strong basis. Whether it was past experience or someone’s advice—Odasaku was trying to show Dazai the path he himself had once tried to walk. Dazai knew that.

I personally think that this is Oda saying that he tried to save Dazai. And that how far Dazai has come is something that he should be proud of, and something that is "beautiful" about Dazai, something which he really wouldn't ever fucking use to describe himself. And the fact that he trusts Oda's words, he believes them truly, because he loves him and he knows. He fucking knows that those words hold weight, and that Dazai is going to uphold his promise to him. He's going to do whatever it takes to keep Oda alive in whatever way possible after death, and honour his memory, and give him a life that he wanted to have but never got to.

In the middle of a verdant mountain trail atop a hill overlooking Yokohama was a cemetery with a view of the ocean. There were many new graves lined up—among them a small white burial marker without a name.

Dazai stood before the burial marker, dressed in black mourning clothes and holding a bouquet of white flowers.

“……”

He squinted as the strong sea breeze suddenly gusted past. The white flowers fluttered in the wind.

“I’ll leave this photo here.”

He took out a picture and placed it before the burial marker. Frozen in time were the smiles of those three men.

“I really wish you could’ve tried that hard tofu I made…”

Dazai closed his eyes, then stood absolutely still, rooted to the spot.

Now, my guess here is that this is where Dazai went when he abandoned the mission for the PM so suddenly, especially as Akutagawa is off fighting some people.

“I really wish you could’ve tried that hard tofu I made…”

Remembering the little things, the small conversations that they had and treasuring them, despite the tofu being Dazai trying to kill himself again. Some sort of twisted, dark humour maybe. And the fact that he's stood deadly still, unmoving. I honestly think he's afraid. He's afraid that if he moves too much, or shows even a hint of emotion, it will all come fucking storming out in a whirlwind of painful fucking memories, feelings, etc. And he doesn't want that.

Right, I am so fucking sorry about the length of this one. It is currently 3:22 AM and I'm on the verge of tears watching The Dark Era episodes whilst writing this. I started this shit at 20 past 12. I am so fucking sorry.

In conclusion, one of the most important relationships (I think) is that of Odasaku and Dazai, as it gives us much more insight into the both of their characters, and how each of them affect one another and the fact that they're each the only one caring for the other person. Ango, yes, but Oda and Dazai are just kind of on another level of friendship, despite how close they are with Ango.

There are (surprisingly) a lot more things I wanted to say, but I decided against it so that it wouldn't be too long. Well, longer than it already is. If you couldn't tell, I'm quite passionate on this subject.

Anyways, if you've read this far somehow, I hope you have a lovely day/night! <333

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #port mafia #ada #osamu dazai #oda sakunosuke #ango sakaguchi #manga #anime #light novel #the dark era #analysis #their dynamic sends me spiralling #i love them both so much #why is everything so fucking tragic

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I hate to nitpick the Atsushi hallucinating scene in the new episode cause it was SO well done otherwise, but I'm still really sad that they cut out Francis being there. Like... it's not entirely necessary, I guess, but it just adds so much to his character and to the scene itself?

The Francis in Atsushi's mind is this looming, intimidating presence, because Atsushi did of course fight against him, he was his enemy at one point, but I think it undeniably says a lot that he's even included here at all.

I'm pretty sure I saw this discussed back when this chapter first came out, but while everything Atsushi's hallucinations say to him are framed as negative, putting him down, they can also be read as letting him know that the burden of responsibility for making such a huge decision isn't on him (hence why he decides to let Fukuzawa decide instead, because he can't make THE choice, but he can still choose to act to let someone else decide, and not simply do nothing), and Francis is no exception in this regard. Since he's naturally haughty and arrogant in his personality, this fake version of him doesn't at all feel out of character, coldly saying that "nobody expects anything of you", but again, I think this line especially can also be read as "you are not expected to do anything". In that way, it feels more reassuring, and maybe even dare I say kind -- the fact that Atsushi even considers him important enough of a figure in his life to think of what he would say to him in this moment means that he counts Francis among his allies now. Yes, they didn't get along at first when Francis lied and told him that he only wanted to revive Margaret just so she could kill Hawthorne (because god forbid he actually admit out loud that he cares about people, smh), and obviously because of the whole almost burning Yokohama down and trying to kill him and Akutagawa thing lol, but I'm pretty sure Atsushi changed his mind about him after he saw the state Margaret was in, and recognized how much Francis cares about her and wanted her to be alright. He probably still remembers him talking about his desire to bring back his daughter and save her and his wife, too. The guy still probably isn't someone Atsushi would want to hang out with and be buddy-buddy with during his free time lmao, but the airheaded vain old sport still has a good heart, deep down, and I think Atsushi has seen this by now, because he's a kind person, and so I think it speaks volumes that he unconsciously looks to him for advice here. Francis is just a really good and underrated character, and this is such a small but meaningful moment that shows his development so well, the only moment with him we've gotten or any of the Guild really in such a long time, so it makes me sad to see this cut 💔

I also just feel like not including him kind of weakens the impact of Akutagawa's appearance here?? Like, there's a progression of the order of people Atsushi hears/sees in this scenes: first, people from the ADA sans Dazai, who are all portrayed as on the same level, because he cares about them all equally, aside from I guess Kyouka (again, sans Dazai, the most important person to him). Then, there is Francis, and not to say that Francis is more important to Atsushi than the ADA, obviously not, but he's one of the last to appear because he used to be his enemy, and so he commands much more of a presence, has more of an impact -- but at the same time, like I said, it's complicated: he's not really his enemy anymore, but something between a rival and a friend, and so for that reason his words carry more weight. He is someone Atsushi, logically, shouldn't trust, after what he did to him in the past, and yet he does, because things have changed since the Guild arc, and he knows he can count on him to be there for him and the ADA now.

And then, after him, there is Akutagawa. Who is basically exactly the same as everything I just described for Francis, but times one hundred. Of course Akutagawa would be last. Of course, if there's someone Atsushi would simultaneously and paradoxically be both intimidated by and yet comforted to hear their advice because of their tumultuous history together, far more than Francis, it would be Akutagawa. The progression of ADA members > Francis > Akutagawa in that order gives Akutagawa's appearance much more weight imo than just going straight to him from the ADA members, especially with the specific framing of him standing in line behind Francis to judge/advise Atsushi.... it's just much more powerful, and I wish they'd kept it like this, for both Francis and Aku's characters.

#bungou stray dogs #meta #i know i am one of the 10 Francis fans to exist but dammit i'm defending my dumb sad American silly man!!! #he deserved this moment in the anime it's so important!!!!!! #'you just want Francis to be the weird new dad figure to everyone' and what if i DO OKAY #HE IS A FATHER WHO MISSES BEING A FATHER just let me have him being Atsushi's silly little weird uncle/father guy in his hallucinations oka #in my dreams he's Lucy's adoptive dad and therefore Atsushi's too because he supports her little crush on him #he and Dazai are just chaotic wingmen to AtsuLucy it would be the funniest thing ever okay i need this #(WHAT IF KYOUKA REMINDS HIM OF HIS DAUGHTER TOO 😭😭😭) #but i'm getting off topic ahem- #point is cutting Francis from this scene does it a disservice #it's FAR from the worst thing Bones has ever done don't get me wrong and the scene is still wonderful as it is #but i'm still sad :((((( #Francis crumbs are so rare as is so I was looking forward to seeing him here </3 after how much I loved seeing him in the chapter originall

[gentrychild]

There are no words to describe the absolute happiness it was for me to wake up and see that my favorite author had updated my favorite fic, which in turn is my favorite crossover of my two favorite fandoms. So I will just say: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

Release that Muse before it does something unspeakable to the both of us.

Here are some bribes.

After a long deliberations, I came to the conclusion that one kind of evil cycle for Izuku wasn't enough. He will have a fun evil cycle, like what happens with Iruma, and a terrifying evil cycle, where people will stop what they are doing, call AFO and beg him to pick up his son.

Todoroki Rei is a thirteen crown and a badass in general.

Technically, Natsuo and Fuyumi are on the Himura family registry while Touya and Shouto are on the Todoroki one.

All for One is probably the most reasonable and chill AFO of all the Gentryverse.

All for One has the ability to steal bloodline abilities. Yoichi used to have the ability to steal magical power.

Make no mistake, Toshinori is incredibly strong and was the One for All holder that got the closest to kill AFO... but his survival while he was being terribly weakened by the curse kinda had something to do with Gran Torino's... influence.

No matter how many times he changed school, Izuku was bullied and/or ostracized at school. He never had a real friend before.

Katsuki is adopted. Mitsuki has the same ability as Sabnock in canon. Since Katsuki and Mitsuki are still the splitting image of each other, many people refuse to believe it.

If you see a demon who doesn't have pointy ears in this fic, it means they can shift into another, technically monstrous, form.

Inko accidentally wandered into the demon world once, almost gave a heart attack to Cathleen Bates, and became a spooky ghost story because of it.

Oboro doesn't think his boss cares about him but All for One does like him, in his own "That one is mine, exists to entertain me, and if anyone touches my toy, I will rip their wings and beat them to death with them. :)" way.

Oboro is the one who prepared Izuku's outfits and he is kinda :| that Izuku always wears casual clothes at home.

Aizawa still comes from a family possessed by the spirit of the dog or whatever but he is such a cat lover that he broke every rule of reality and got Catberus.

Machia got lost in the canyon because he was looking for some wi-fi in order to watch the last episode of his favorite show. Three of them had the time to air and he watched them the next day with AFO, Izuku and Oboro in an impromptu movie session.

The younger members of the cast don't suspect it but AFO is actually a shadow of the demon he used to be back when the demon king was alive. After his death, AFO alternated between homicidal rage and long bouts of depression where he was unable to react to anything. He got better in the last century and downright cheerful in the last fifteen years or so.

#iruma kun au

[distort-opia]

for the purposes of writing fic, how in the world do you keep track of the timeline and what has happened and who knows what and so on and so forth - like i know about the dc chronology project thing which seems complicated.

like, the joker still knows that bruce wayne is batman right now doesn’t he??? i’ve seen some of the arc with him looting his fortune in Their Dark Designs?? and obviously The Joker War has him saying that he’s gonna carve bruce’s face up so that no one will recognize him after but like, this is all recent continuity right bc i know punchline is in it……??????!!!????

you’re just one of my favorite authors and i guess how do you do it besides just having an encyclopedic knowledge of batman comics

Yep, Joker knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman for sure, as of current continuity. Theoretically he's known about it ever since Year 3 of Batman's career, as per Snyder's Death of the Family, which shows a flashback of Bruce's to the time he went to Arkham Asylum and revealed himself to Joker. (Don't get me started on this, because based on even older comics, Joker knew. The most blatant instance of it is Bruce running around without his cowl on around Joker in Morrison's Batman: R.I.P.)

Thing is though, Joker doesn't care. He's actively avoided and repressed the knowledge of Batman's secret identity because it ruined his fun. Bruce's identity starts to come up only when Joker becomes dangerously disillusioned with their "game". He blames the very existence of "Bruce Wayne" for what he perceives as the weakening of Batman, so he's begun to actively go after him (his Family, fiancé and fortune) since Endgame and Joker War.

And thank you for the kind words, I'm flattered! When it comes to keeping up with DC comics... [sigh] I have two words for you, my friend: Excel spreadsheets. And also, a sprinkle of mental illness.

This is still very much a work in progress that I do want to share in the future, after I'm content with it. (Oh the sheer beauty of the filters that I dream of.)

But yeah, at the end of the day writing stuff down and organizing it is tremendously beneficial, especially if you're planning a fic. I recommend making a timeline for your story, recording events that are relevant for character backstory as well as significant hallmarks for the active plot. One website that I've found very helpful over time is The Batman Chronology Project, that you can access here. As with every attempt to piece together timelines for DC, there's still points at which people disagree on placing an event or an issue, but if you're aiming for a rough idea of where to situate your plot, it's more than enough.

#hope this helps even a little Anon! #asks #batman #personal

[cursedvibes]

I love gojo he’s one of my favorite characters in jjk (that isn’t saying a lot I say that about almost everyone ) but when will he just die I’m getting tired of this we all know he’s going to but when and how

Finally finally mahoraga is doing something

Please gege I’m getting grey hairs from this cat and mouse game

Everytime mahoraga wheel spines in 232 I was getting excited because like finally something juicy happened

I'm glad the wheel spins all happened in this chapter and didn't get drawn out into three like I had feared. And Gojo ate his words as well. Everyone likes to point out how Sukuna talks shit and gets hit, but the exact same is happening to Gojo. That's at least very satisfying. We also saw Gojo's Black Flash, which makes me hopeful that we're nearing the end because there aren't anymore big moves for Gojo to show off (unless Gege comes up with new ones).

The last page makes it seem like this fight might possibly maybe finally be over, but at the same time I don't trust Gege to not pull off another "Gojo is fine actually" like the last times. I get that they want to put the readers into a false sense of security with the last bouncebacks, but to me it's just tiring at this point. I don't care how anymore, just end it or bring some more character work into this instead of this endless back and forth. I get it, they're evenly matched, now do something of consequence.

I'm not sure Gojo will actually die here though. Pretty confident he will gonna lose, because everything else makes no sense to me and also he has been flagging hard, but dying idk. With the brain damage we now know that there's an actual way to potentially permanently depower someone. (taking out his eyes would look pretty cool as well) As much as I hate the thought of Gojo whining about Geto again, that plot point has to somehow be tied up. They also brought up Geto still kinda sorta being there as well, so Gojo might get severly weakened and then go up against Kenjaku, who will kill him for good. A payback for all the trouble the six eyes brought them the past 1000 years and a sure way for the future generation to be forced to act on their own and not just lean on Gojo. It also takes out a superpower that inevitably unbalances any political decisions they will make for the future of jujutsu society (see the big brain take of putting Gakuganji of all people in charge because he's the lesser evil I guess...Gojo wtf are you thinking??!) You also get "Geto" being the one to kill Gojo this time. Much symbolism etc. Used to be not a big fan of such a fight and I'm definitely not looking forward to the stsg drama, but as long as Kenjaku doesn't die to Gojo and Yuuji gets his time with his mom and his shot at matricide I'm fine with it. I'm warming up to the idea.

#asks #jjk spoilers #jjk 232

[hiyokuma]

Too Mean... | Kaoru Hakaze

smut (under 18 dni.)

reblogs are appreciated ♧

gn!dom!reader x sub!kaoru, (established relationship) kaoru cries and the reader comforts him, some degrading at the start, some fluff in the middle and it ends on a gentle note with lots of sweet and gentle sex!! it's what kaoru deserves hehe and aftercare of course!! (I love aftercare)

a/n: don't lie to your sexual partners!! (don't be like kaoru.) a/n 2: kaoru speaking is in bold + italic

being a producer means taking care of your idols' needs right....? Well... Kaoru is a bit too needy for your liking...

"Rather eager aren't we?" you hear Kaoru chuckle, he sits on the bed, his back against the headboard, his white t-shirt somewhere on the floor, as your hands quickly undo his belt and pants

"not my fault that you've been acting like a needy whore" you speak harshly, spitting on your hand and grabbing up his length and pumping it a few times, not noticing that his whimper came from when you called him a whore- not from you touching his length as you thought,

you stop for a moment as you swiftly pull off your shorts and underwear, looking back at a red-faced Kaoru with slight tears forming in his eyes

"what's wrong?" you speak gently as your hands go back to his length not quite moving instead your thumb just moves in a soft circular motion, he doesn't answer except mumbling a small "nothing" as he pulls his jacket on top his face... is he that embarrassed?

"..you good to go?" you ask back slightly worried

"mhm, green" he answers, his face still hidden under his jacket as you nod and start moving your hand up and down his length, unlike earlier you start it and continue it at a gentle pace, almost testing the water as he lets out loud moans, letting his jacket slip off his face as he grabs the bedsheets instead,

"is the little slut enjoy the gentle treatment? tell me Kaoru, do you deserve such sweet treatment after how you acted today?" you speak at him coldly but keeping a gentle pace- after all.. you did believe that your rough pace was the reason for his reaction earlier

but to your surprise he sobs out "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" a few times and a "please don't be so mean" with those loud cries as he lets tears stream down his face, immediately making you let go of his length as you pull him into a hug

"hey hey~ don't cry sweetheart.. what's wrong... speak to me hm?" you speak to him in a much more gentle and caring voice, barely above a whisper, not to scare or overwhelm him as you run your clean hand through his hair gently, his sobs weakening as a few sniffles are all that's left before he speaks

"s.. sorry.. I thought I could handle it.. you know.. you taking out your anger out on me and all- I mean I deserve it right so-" your own heart breaking at his words as you let out a distasteful chuckle, cutting him off

"no no, it's fine really, be more honest with me alright? you deserve to have fun, to feel good, regardless of what I want, having fun isn't worth it if you don't feel good 'kay?" you speak with a soft giggle kissing his forehead as you reach for your clothes before Kaoru grabs your wrist,

"mm? don't you want to take a break?" you look down at him on the bed as he shakes his head, a soft blush appearing on his face as he whispers out gently;

"..please? can you.. take care of me tonight?" he asks in a small and soft voice, showing you the most vulnerable side of his as he can, whilst you reach down and push your lips against his in a gentle but passionate manner, making you relax as you feel him smile into the kiss as he practically melts in your hold,

you gently push him down, his back flat on the bed, head on the pillows as you grab up some lube and apply it accordingly before getting on his lap and kissing him again,

"you sure you want to bun?" you ask him tenderly before he nods happily, allowing you to carefully push him inside you, as you let the feeling of him stretching you out linger through your whole body, hearing his gentle hisses and whines as your warm walls hug him being the cherry on top to your own pleasure

"you're so good for me~ always such a lovable boy" you whisper against his lips as you start moving your hips up and down his length at a gentle pace, watching him throw his head back and moan at the words and sensations he's feeling, seems like he likes being pampered huh?

keeping up a good pace, you let your hands run all over his chest, gently brushing over his nipples as he trembles just at the slightest touch and at how overwhelmed he feels

"you look so pretty like this, so beautiful.. like the prettiest boy out there" you speak out breathlessly, both due to how pretty he looks as a few tears drip down his cheeks due to the pleasure and love he feels and due to how good you feel moving your hips against him

"fh.. feels so good... never felt it this good.." he moans under you as you continue to rock your hips against his for a few more minutes, one of his hands at your hips and the other on your cheek, pulling you in for another desperate kiss as more and more tears drip from his eyes, the soft blush darkening slightly as he feels you bite his lip gently and teasingly before letting out a high pitched moan

"you're such a good boy, doing so well for me" you whisper directly in his ear as you use your thumb to wipe away his tears, both of his hands coming up to your hips now and shakily holding them

"please.. can I please- ah~" you watch with a slight giggle as he shuts his eyes tightly, his grip on your hips becoming stronger as you continue with your movements

"go on~ I'm close too" you moan out, biting your lip at the feeling of his length twitching inside you as he cums deep inside you, whining at the feeling as he lets out a few small "ah" sounds and whimpers of your name as you continue on a little more reaching your own high with a few of your own high-pitched noises before laying on him as his hands wrap themselves around you almost immediately.

"I love you" you both end up giggling as you speak at the same time

"how was that? you were so lovely today" you speak gently to him, you own eyes shutting due to the work you put in, his hands being all over your waist and back, as you rest your head on his chest not helping your drowsiness at all as you let out a small yawn,

"it was good... like real good... I love you, thank you" he speaks, kissing your forehead but he's clearly exhausted as his eyes shut, drifting him to sleep quickly.. seems the emotional and physical exhaustion caught up to him huh? you let out a small yawn before snuggling up closer to him, drifting to sleep like him, with a sweet smile on your face, after all... cleaning up can be left for tomorrow right? what's better than to fall asleep holding each other as his length sits inside you

#esxreadernsfwmonth2023 #enstars x reader #ensemble stars #enstars x you #enstars smut #enstars x y/n #kaoru x reader #kaoru smut #kaoru hakaze #kaoru hakaze smut #kaoru hakaze x reader #kaoru hakaze x you #kaoru hakaze x y/n #undead #undead smut #im not proud of this #ensemble stars smut #ugh I mean.. the idea is there.. I just wanted it to be longer but the love is there #I think you can feel how much love kaoru and reader have for each other ya know~ so not all that bad!

[scoonsalicious]

OKAY CHAPTER 28. First off, can I just say I admire Pocket being such a spitfire in this because the girl really has the confidence to mock Jenny at any given moment when she can kill her with one pull of the trigger. Pocket really is just joking around and laughing and making quips as if she isn't being dragged by her hair quire literally I was reading it both horrified and impressed because I'm like, Pocket....shut up please i don't want you to get hurt anymore or die but also like, this is so Pocket you go get 'em girlie. BUT AH THAT GLIMPSE OF BUCKY IN THE MONITORS GOING ABSOLUTELY FERAL, COVERED IN BLOOD AND BOILING WITH RAGE AND TAKING DOWN A WHOLE HYDRA BASE ON HIS OWN BECAUSE THEY GOT HIS GIRL? SIR? I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU? Pocket was literally such a mood during that moment because that was such an insane show of violence and truly showcased that the Winter Soldier might be gone but Bucky Barnes very much still has his skill and if he wanted to burn the whole place down to save the love of his life we would've no questions asked. But also, yes please? Can I have your babies? LMAO.

Now, that confrontation was...a lot to say the least. Judas insanity and obsession just showing through and you could just see how our of control he was when Bucky showed up. Like that whole exchange was intense I can't even deal. Her calling Russia "making love", and that she was quite literally built to "love" him. You could just tell that there was no getting through to her anymore. She's too far gone and man was that disturbing.

And UGH POCKET, being all self-sacrificial and everything as if I'm not already filled with so many emotions!!! Just, I don't even have words that was just so amazing it made my chest ache. The confessions, them pouring their heart out I just... WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO DIE. IF THEY TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE I—well, we wouldn't have a story but anyway. That was just so good, Evoked so many emotion in me gosh.

But you know what made me absolutely insane??? BUCKY BARNES AND HIS BAIT AND SWITCH MY GOD?????? I knew what he was doing the second he started to feed Judas' fantasy and telling her exactly what she wanted to weaken her which is such a smart move and good for him to realize that immediately when the first try of getting through to her didn't work BUT MY GOD THAT WAS SO COLD AND BRUTAL IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE? AM I SICK IN THE HEAD BC MR. BARNES BUCKY SIR THAT WAS KINDA HOT? (i know he probably snapped her neck and she's dead now I couldn't care any less but STILL????) The second he kissed her and boy did it take a lot longer but I'm sure he was trying to gauge that Pocket was far away enough and the second he realized that and grabbed Jessie's throat WITH THE VIBRANIUM HAND MIGHT I ADD and his demeanor immediately switched to feral and unhinged and "I'm going to give you a slow painful death for hurting my girl" I.. am .. on ..... the floor?????? i'm not even kidding when I tell you I put my phone down and squealed into my hand because that was such a powerplay i can't even deal. AND WHEN HE SAID HIS PROMISES DON'T MATTER AS A CALL BACK I'M LIKE???????? ahem. sorry. I just, I'm a sucker for men who goes overly feral to protect their girl. Doesn't matter how many times it happens it's just *chef's kiss* every single time. Never gets old.

But ugh, Pockey got shot. (i know I seem like I don't care but you've talked about a sequel so I know she's going to be fine haha ha ha unless.....) But still, that scene tugged at my heartstrings gosh, that was...Bucky crying, Pocket still joking around and comforting him as if she's not the one losing blood and practically dying. That was just perfection. I just love those two so much and I'm glad they're both going to be on the path of healing.

I feel like I've ran a marathon reading this chapter because wow what was intense. I know there's still something about Steve and whatnot but I honestly just can't wait for the come down. God, we're so close to the end. It's going to be a lil bittersweet but hey, I'm so glad it happened. You're amazing as always. Lots of love!

(p.s. i usually type on my laptop with these ask and sometimes i type way too fast because i'm excited to spelling won't always be great so i absolutely did not realize i wrote "cheese game" instead of "chess game" but i'm glad it made you laugh because that is quite funny.)

— Jnon 🤍

Hi, beloved!

I really, really wanted Pocket to stand up to Jackass in the best way she possibly could, and since that couldn't be physically, it was going to have to be through sarcasm and snark, lol. Like, this is her one and only chance to get back at Jade for all the shit she put Pocket through, so Pocket is definitely going to take the utmost advantage of it. Also, she knew that the more off-balance Jade was, the more likely she was to fuck up and give Pocket an opening for escape.

And I know it's not healthy, like, at all, but when Pocket saw him being completely feral in his quest to find her and save her, it definitely did things to her insides, lol. Violence is never acceptable, and IRL, I'm a total pacifist, but if my fictional man wants to be violent in my honor? Yes, please.

Writing Jerry's confrontation with Bucky made me feel sick, lol. When she's like "Oh, but we made love," I'm sitting there like "Ma'am, that was borderline sexual assault. You don't know what love is." In a small, tiny way, I feel sorry for her. She was basically fed this fantasy to such a degree that she couldn't fathom it not coming true. Like, she was made to believe there was no other option for her, and so, she would accept no other option.

Bucky began his bait and switch as soon as Pocket told him to let her go. I wrote it with the idea that he knew she'd sacrifice herself to ensure that Jade couldn't use her as leverage over Bucky, so he did the only thing he could think of-- pretend to give her what she wanted. He was definitely making sure Pocket was at a distance from him and jade before he made his move, though. He also wanted to make sure Jade was properly distracted. He should have taken the gun away from her, but eh, lol. It's more dramatic this way.

I really enjoyed doing the "promises don't mean shit" callback, because I felt like, in a way, that was also him taking responsibility for everything he put Pocket through. Or, at least it is in my head, lol. He had planned on killing Jezebel nice and slowly, at least until she shot Pocket. After that, his rage got the best of him. Plus, he needed to get to his girl; he didn't have time to torture the hoe any more.

And of course Pocket would be fine! I can't kill off my best girl! I love her too much! I just really love that emotional drama, lol. I have your next missive to read, so I will sign off! Love you so much! <3

#unwanted #jnon report