#to christianity so she can marry him but they are only together for a short time - she dies a few years later in 1093 giving birth to their

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for purposely ruining a woman's hair?

I (19f) am a licensed hairdresser fulltime. A bit of backstory My best friend (same age) got married this year to a man who is older than 28 but younger then 35. I tried to discourage her and explained that the age gap is fucked considering the guy is the same age as my mom (like if my mom dated someone my age it would be fucked and my friend said that but its fine because "we grew up with him" and i said that made it worse).

He actually was my neighbor for most of my life. He wasn't a bad person, always seemed good, but obviously I dont think highly of him now. We all went to similar events like festivals and saw each other, but we never hung out. He saw me and my best friend a lot together and when we became 17 he started talking to her. It was a whole "meetcute" story according to my friend. Neighbor who she saw and thought was cute for years happened to invite her over in the pouring rain because I got delayed and didn't meet her at my house in time and her parents had already dropped her off.

They started dating the day she turned 18 and got married soon after she was 19.

Mary, the mother of my neighbor and now my best friends MIL (turning 50f) has been vocal about not liking me for literally my whole life. I've been called trouble, a nuisance, trash, etc. Made slutshaming comments because I got a belly button ring, called me a exotic dancer to my face because I was dancing and shaking my hips and butt, and then a whore when I wore a tank top and shorts...just The stereotypical "Christian" white woman.

Mary is talking constantly to my friend, her son adding in, that I'm a bad influence and now my friend is pulling away.

Well long story short (too late i know sorry want to give background info but it turned out to be like a lot) Mary came into the shop. She asked for a cut and color and I was the only one available. She visibly sneered but agreed and made snide comments the entire time I tried to figure out what she wanted. She wanted red. A natural red. And I was going to do it, but then she said I needed to make sure I washed my hands so I didn't get her dirty and then when I glared at her and asked what she meant by dirty because my hands were clean she laughed and said "oh I didn't mean no offense sweetie".

So I went and brought out the book that has hair color samples and stsrt showing her reds. I asked her if she wanted E3 or 5A for example, those aren't at all but you get the idea. She said she wanted red, so I went "oh like 4A" which was FIRE HYDRANT red. I knew she wanted naturalish and NOT that but she verbalized yes yes that 4A.

So I did. It came out bright red and she started yelling and screaming. My coworkers heard her say which one she wanted and we pulled the book out and showed her thats what she had verbalized, so I'm off the hook.

But now im like...that was a bit mean? I mean she can redye it, and my work gave her a discount. I didnt chop her hair off or do anything out of what she asked, but I know damn well she didn't want that. My friend texted me really upset accusing me and I played dumb. She's already pulling away from me and now I feel its going to be worse because of this...aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[donner-mathis-official]

Time to think about Molly because all of the characters in this game drive me insane with the little tidbits we get to know about them.

Ok so it’s pretty clearly hinted at that her husband was a terrible man that she didn’t want to marry (“I could have been something!”, really the whole conversation about his death), and directly stated that she very intentionally left him to die.

There are two things about her, though, that I really find fascinating. They’re more theory than outright, but I think I can back them up. Those are:

1) Molly tried to get out of the relationship as best she could with what she was given, long before the events of the game.

2) Molly knows that her murder spree is morally questionable, but has decided that even if it’s wrong, if she saves someone else from being hurt by a bad man, then it’s worth it.

Let’s start with the first one.

I firmly believe she talked to Father Thomas at some point about her relationship. He’s a religious leader, and, based on the fact that he was the one to gather people into the community centre, is probably a community leader as well. The type of person you go to when you need help. Molly says Father Thomas won’t help Astrid (indirectly but she has been roaming Pleasant Valley for a week post-first flare at time of our first entrance, so she must know he’s the only one there when she says “nobody there will help you”), and it tracks that he likely would not have helped her out of that relationship. Most Christian sects, to my knowledge, are against divorce to some degree, and we’ve seen that Father Thomas has no qualms with pushing his religious views onto others (making Astrid take the rosary). All of this together means it’s highly likely Molly tried to get out the “right” way first. She did everything she was supposed to, and still found herself stuck. Given that scenario, it’s obvious why, when the wolves gave her an out, she took it.

As for her knowing what she’s doing is wrong, I’d like to point to her asking if Mackenzie is one of the good ones. I absolutely love this line, because it says so much about who she is. It’s her offering Astrid something she was never given; a chance to get out. It’s her acknowledging that there are good men, and that she doesn’t want to kill them. That she only wants to kill the ones that will hurt people like she was hurt. Then following that up with “then I hope I never meet him”? This is probably my favorite exchange in Wintermute because it’s so short and direct yet says volumes. She wants Astrid to be happy and find her good one again. She would rather a risk a good man dying than a bad man going free. This isn’t just a revenge quest against any man she thinks is bad; it’s her trying, in her own way, to keep people safe and make the world better. This shows too, in her choice to leave Father Thomas alive. He’s a sitting duck, with no way of protecting himself. She could have killed him. She clearly holds contempt for him, and if you subscribe to the first theory I posited, he’s a large factor in why she had to stay in that horrible marriage. But she chose to leave Father Thomas alive, and I think that’s in no small part because she knows that those plane crash victims need him. That even if he screwed her over, he’s making the world better right now.

Anyways I love her and I think more women should kill people

#the long dark #tld #tld Molly #astrid greenwood #tld father thomas #long post #i wrote this in one go in the passenger seat of my car please excuse any mistakes

[airasora]

Oh, I will send more later because they are super interesting but this one immediately got my attention: 33, What is their wedding day like? For Hollina, Rolfmaine, Quaselle and Sinric (I didn't plan on having two straight and two gay couples LOL those are the ones that are very intriguing to me in regards to the wedding)

What is their wedding day like?

Hollina

Holli and Lina's wedding would be a big event. They both know a lot of people and care about making their wedding be as great as their love for each other. Even though they have had their disagreements about certain aspects of their wedding (like Holli wanting something elegant and modern, and Lina wanting something princessy and fairytale-like) they have managed to meet in the middle and their wedding will be remembered for decades. Their wedding day is filled with flowers, fairy lights, karaoke, glass tiles for the dancing area, and you better believe their first dance is choreographed to the max! And they have a first song too, because of course they do.

I also made a short fanfic about Holli's feelings about wearing a wedding veil you can read here.

Rolfmaine

Both John and Anastasia agreed they wanted a big, disgustingly elegant wedding. John Rolfe is used to fancy parties with stuffy clothing and waltzing around in a ballroom, and while Anastasia can't dance to save her life, she loves the same things John does. Their guest list, however, would not be exceptionally big. Both of them have few family members and a few friends, so despite the elegant setting and atmosphere, the wedding would still be intimate. John would consider playing a diplomatic move and invite acquaintances, but ultimately he didn't want to have to put pressure on Anastasia on her wedding day.

Quaselle

Simple and sweet forest ceremony, not truly a traditional wedding. I don't see Belle being religious and Quasimodo would have a very strained relationship with Christianity after all the religious trauma he's been through. So their wedding would be much more about having a day where they tell the world they love each other and intend to be together till death do them part. Neither Belle or Quasimodo would want a big, fancy wedding either. And while some might have expected them to get married in Notre Dame, ultimately the place has too many bitter memories for Quasimodo despite Notre Dame holding a lot of good memories for him as well. And Belle is a simple girl, ultimately she only cares about marrying Quasimodo and sharing the moment with friends and family. The party AFTER the ceremony though? Big street party. Even though Belle and Quasimodo are somewhat introverted and prefer small gatherings, they have a huge amount of acquaintances who would want to celebrate them, and they wouldn't be against that. But the ceremony would be just for them, Maurice, Esmeralda, Phoebus and Zephyr.

Sinric

Eric's a prince; his wedding WILL be the event of the century, which is absolutely fine with Sinbad. They're both massive extroverts and thrive in big crowds, Sinbad especially loves all the attention and the jealous glances he'd get all day from bitter, rejected suitors of Eric. There's also the fact they had to hide their relationship for a while so once it's finally out there, they both want to show each other off to the world. Sinbad would hog Eric all night, dancing with him so much they'll both be exhausted by the time their wedding WEEK is over.

Want to ask a question about one of my OTPs? Check the OTP asks here!

#otp #otp asks #otp prompts #wedding #marriage #headcanon #headcanons #hollina #rolfmaine #quaselle #sinric

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Hello 👋 Could we get some salty Matt? Perhaps he’s salty over Nick’s wife 👀? Thank you ☺️

Hi babes! Omg, I love salty Matt 😌 (and again, he always makes me write long ass shit 🤌. Sorry not sorry 😂). You’re welcome 💋 Written in Matt’s POV

HEAVILY UNEDITED - wrote this in one go

Tag: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @letsgivethisonemoreshot , @aerynscrichton , @daddyhausen , @damnnhausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @baysexuality , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @sldghmmr , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @blaquekittycat , @tahiri-veyla

Secured behind the dark lens of my sunglasses, I could finally do what my primal side begged me to - which was intently stare at her.

She was by the pool with the kids, being the judge for one of their nonsense games that had no actual rules but just served for children to show off and get praised by an adult. She cheered and clapped every time any of them did something remarkably boring that deserved no praise at all - but that still adults felt obliged to do.

The minute Nick got inside our parents house with her by his side, I did everything in my power to destroy their relationship. Now you see, this isn’t because I am mean or anything like that, it is just because my brother deserves someone better than her.

And even though I tried everything in my power to break them up, they were still together. Much to my dislike, those two were solid as a mountain and ten years of marriage and four kids later only served to make their love grow even more.

It’s disgusting. How could that even be possible? Me, God’s favorite christian and dad’s favorite kid - even though he won’t admit it - am here, with my marriage being held together by my work, because if it wasn’t for that Lord knows me and my wife would’ve murdered each other by now. My kids don’t acknowledge me as anything other than a stranger that sleeps in their house a handful of days of the month, and I’m certain that the last time I had sex was 2012.

While Nick is here, married to Satan’s mistress, with kids that love him to death while definitely getting that wonderful, mindblowing, balls tightening, breathtaking fuck whenever he’s home. Shit, the worst part is that I can’t even blame my brother! If she was my wife, I would also eagerly face a 14 hour flight home just so I could fuck her on top of the kitchen counter at 3 am.

The problem is, she’s not a good woman, you know? She’s the Devil with a pussy! A pussy that no wonder was fantastic since it has my brother faithful to it all of these years like a stupid lapdog. She was lascivious to say the least! With her short clothes that showed too much skin, her long nails that were not compatible with a respectful and faithful woman, wife or mother, her hair was always perfectly done, she was always in a warm and welcoming mood to everybody and she was always smelling so nice and luxurious. Nick once commented how she loves perfume so much that she even sprays some Versace on her so she can do the most common things like cooking and cleaning the house. Like, c’mon! Who the hell wears perfume - and expensive nonetheless - to do such mundane chores?!

This is unfair, completely unfair! Whenever Nick gets home he finds nice home cooked meals and pastries, kids that are eager to see him and a hot wife to perform the most nasty and sinful things to him while I get shit!.

I once overheard Nick and his wife on the phone talking about how much he missed having his dick sucked in the car before they went to school to pick up the kids or even the one time he fucked her in the backyard at 2 am, with her face pressed against the glass door. If that doesn’t scream cheap woman then I don’t know what does.

She wasn’t a bad person, meaning she’s a wonderful mom. Hell, I know even my own kids wished she was their mom. She’s loving and kind and needless to say everybody loves her. But for Christ’s sake, look at her clothes! Her pair of shorts stops just below her ass cheeks - making her more than generous backside stand out - while leaving her thick thighs on display, her crop top is so small that from my deck chair I can get glimpses of the soft valley of her breasts. The thoughts that roamed my mind are not pure in the slightest but can you blame me?

Just when I was thinking about sliding my dick between her tits, my kids had to go and let out these high pitched, excited screams to pull me away from wonderland while making me groan in annoyance. She cheered for them to get the ball inside the small basketball hoop on the pool, momentarily blocking my daydreams of fucking her on the couch.

Right after my kids scored a point, Nick hugged her from behind, pressing open mouth kisses on her neck before whispering something in her ear and slapping her ass playfully as he turned around to enter the kitchen.

Curiosity peaked its head out when I watched my sister-in-law follow my brother’s footsteps a few minutes after he entered the house.

*You smug, lucky bastard!* I thought to myself as I quickly made my way inside the living room, hiding behind a wall that divided the kitchen and living room apart. I stood still while I heard the dialogue between my brother and his wife.

“Nick, no” She giggled “Baby, someone can come in”

“Isn’t that the main reason why you followed me, though?” Nick chuckled back “We both know you love some risky sex”

“Baby, c’mon. The kids are awake” Everything in her voice told she didn’t mean a word she just said.

“That means we’ll have to be quick then”

It was at this moment I knew I couldn’t only hear it, no. I had to take a glimpse of what was happening. My eyes stared at my brother’s hands as he pushed her obscenely tight shorts down her thick thighs, Nick’s palms squeezed the generous flesh of her ass between his fingers, lowly grunting at the feeling “Fuck, this ass drives me crazy” The harsh slap that landed on her right cheek echoed through the kitchen. “Will you let me have it tonight, angel? Will you give this ass to me later? It’s been so long since I’ve fucked this tight ass”

Her content smile made my cock twitch in excitement, and I had to take a silent deep breath to stop the severe hard on that I could already feel starting to rise.

“I guess I could” She purred “If you promise me to make good use out of this pussy first” Her hand took Nick’s one before pressing it against her mound, cupping the perfectly trimmed hairs before two of his fingers parted her soft, full lips.

“You don’t even have to ask that, angel. You know I’ll take good care of my pussy before anything else”

“You gotta keep her satisfied” She giggled

“That’s my number one priority” Nick growled against her ear as he pulled her ear lobe between his teeth.

And that’s when I couldn’t keep looking at it anymore.

“What the fuck was that?” She gasped loudly after hearing the sound of glass breaking. Nick quickly helped her pull her shorts up her thighs while whispering “I don’t know. Hold on, I’m gonna check”.

Nick quickly made his way towards the living room just to find four portraits of him and his wife broken down on the floor.

The cracked pieces of glass were just a small representation of what I really wished to do to him and his marriage.

#matt jackson x reader #matt jackson fanfiction #matt jackson imagine #matt jackson #young bucks imagine #the young bucks #young bucks #nick jackson fanfiction #nick jackson x reader #nick jackson imagine #nick jackson #masochist writes #salty!matt

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: Marry Me by Midnight by Felicia Grossman

4/5. Releases 8/8/2023.

For when you're vibing with.... a Regency romance that isn't! all about WASP-y types, reverse Cinderella, horny heroines, and "princesses don't marry kitchen boys".

In order to maintain her claim on her late father's business, heiress Isabelle Lira needs to marry as soon as possible. She needs someone respected and connected--but finds herself drawn to Aaron Ellenberg, the poor synagogue custodian she's enlisted to suss out the loyalties of her suitors. The more time Isabelle and Aaron spend together, the harder it becomes for her to imagine marrying someone else...

A well-written, sweet, and funny historical that takes a look at a community you see represented in this subgenre practically never.

Quick Takes:

--Up front: I am not Jewish, and I cannot speak to the historical accuracy or representation here. However, I can say that the writing does a remarkable job of pulling you into a world that doesn't have a "setup" laid out by the conventions of historical romance. Yes, it's still Regency England. But let's be real, the vast majority of Regency romance novels center on Christian characters (or characters that really have little religious interest, but are implied to be Christians).

What I found really impressive about Grossman's writing is that she centers Aaron and Isabelle's religious and cultural backgrounds as something they share... While at the same time making it clear that there are huge differences between the way they live their lives. When an ill-informed historical romance author writes about a community they haven't bothered to even research, you can tell--there is one "type" of person in that community. The characters are homogenous. Here, we see through Isabelle an inside look at this exclusive, upper class Jewish community, while Aaron is basically barely scraping by and is looked down upon by many. They have a connection, but even the way they speak and present themselves is vastly different. Class here is emphasized more effectively than it is in so many other interclass historicals I've read, and it adds to the world immensely.

--You have a good balance of stakes and sweetness here. Aaron and Isabelle ultimately have a very sweet, romantic relationship. But that doesn't mean this is just some "friends fall in love" story (for the record, I wouldn't classify this as friends to lovers, as there's an immediate mutual spark when they meet). Isabelle is dealing not only with her father's legacy, but very real grief and the threat of a rival family.

--The sense of humor here is honestly quite charming. Isabelle is not an "easy" heroine; she's a little demanding, a little haughty, a bit of a... challenge. And Aaron is basically along for the ride, overwhelmed and bowled over. If you're into the "whirling dervish of a woman knows sensible man off his feet" thing, this is the book for you. And there's a reason why I referenced my favorite Anastasia moment above--you really do get the sense that Aaron believes he and Isabelle are impossible due to their class difference. She can't be with him! This beautiful, wealthy, headstrong girl can't lower herself to be his!!! I'm trash for it.

The Sex Stuff:

Here's where I'll admit I was... not let down, but confused. To be clear, this book is explicit, and stuff and things are done. But other stuff and things are alluded to, but for some reason are not on the page...? I was a bit uncertain about what exactly happened, and it feels a little cut short. This is not a closed door romance, and there are definitely discussions to be had about what constitutes sex in m/f romance novels; but the contrast of content on the page to content discussed but not depicted just didn't quite make sense to me.

I will say that what we get is well-done. Again, Isabelle... is a strong-willed young woman, and she does not let up off this man's neck for anything. The dialogue especially is good in those scenes--the dirty talk in this one? At points hot and at points (intentionally) hilarious. I did fear for his life. Also appreciate the discussion of 1800s birth control, please and thank you.

Plus--for those who enjoy a bit of femdom... I wouldn't classify this as a femdom novel, but Isabelle definitely has some baby domme vibes, and Aaron is not mad about it--at all. I really appreciated that natural aptitude and interest of hers. Also, if you're into the "clothed hero/naked heroine" thing (which... you're right) then you'll find something to enjoy here, for sure.

A light-but-not-too-light, fun read. I will admit that I typically enjoy heroes who are a bit edgier, but Aaron is lovely and much more interesting than your typical "nice boy" hero.

Thanks to Netgalley and Forever for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

#romance novel blogging #arc reviews #netgalley #book recs #book reviews #books

[marinerainbow]

Howdy folks! Are you ready for some headcannons for the ultimate husband,

~Roger Rabbit~

(It kind of looks like he's about to read out the headcannons to us. Idk I just find it funny XD)

I think Roger may be the asexual one in the relationship. The only time we see him look at Jessica not so innocently is in the short 'Trail Mix-Up', and that was in the cartoon itself, so that looked like he was just acting out his role. And in 'Tummy Trouble', when Jessica asked about pattycake, his response was "Pattycake? Jeepers." However, in the sequel comic 'Resurrection of Doom', we see Roger initiate the Pattycake, and for all we know his response to Jessica was his version of a 😏😏😏 response rather than a ace response, so I'm not entirely sure. But regardless, we can definitely see that pattycake isn't on his mind all time.

While I headcannon that Jessica is Jewish, I headcannon Roger is Christian. He respects her beliefs and will even celebrate her holidays with her, and vice versa. (I know, why would he and Jessica get married if they have different beliefs? Honestly, people forget that just because you have different religion or politics or whatever doesn't mean you can't get along. Jessica and Roger are practically the definition of opposites attract, and it's their differences that bring them closer together, so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they had different religions, but they don't let it define their relationship with each other.)

Roger... Dear God, Roger will not stop talking and sharing his personal life if you give him the chance. Seriously, one time he went to the dentist once, and now that dentist knows just how much he loves his wife, his friends, his family, his career, and is invited to dinner on Saturday now. Roger means well, but you will have to be firm if you don't want that dentist's fate.

That's actually how he and Baby Herman became friends despite how aggressive Herman seems to be. They started working together, Roger enjoys company so in breaks he would talk to Herman about anything and everything, and Herman eventually just let it go, and even started to like Roger's optimistic presence. Even if he doesn't act like it. (So basically they're Shrek and Donkey.) And yes, the same with Benny. If Roger decides you are friend, you are friend and there is no escape.

In the universe where toons work like humans (have families, age, be born and not created, etc), Roger comes from a long line of comedians. Clowns, actors, stand up comedy, you name it and he probably has some long distance family member who pursued that profession. So, him wanting to make people laugh, is literally in his blood. His family didn't exactly 100% approve of him marrying a risqué toon like Jessica (not for her religion, but how un-funny she was), but he didn't care and supported Jessica no matter what. And that was all she needed to be convinced that this was the man she was going to marry.

Roger absolutely helps Jessica with her make up in the morning if she's in a rush. Look me in the eye- Look me in the eye and tell me he hasn't learned how to apply a killer eyeliner for his wife while she's flipping pancakes and chugging her morning coffee to get out the door as fast as she can.

Cooking isn't exactly his forte, but he's trying! Jessica is teaching him, and he'll take on the bulk of cleaning since she does the bulk of cooking. He's able to make a decent egg salad now!

Although Maroon often puts Jessica in a minor and steamy role in the cartoons, Roger does everything he can to help Jessica get bigger roles, especially ones she'll be comfortable in that don't treat her like a sex object. It's a slow process, and Jessica doesn't want him to risk losing his job just for her, but he's persistent for her. He may seem more naive then Jessica, and in some cases he is, but he does notice when his wife is uncomfortable and will step in without hesitation (I would pay money to see how he would have responded if he saw Greasy falling for the booby trap)

Roger seems to be pretty afraid of the Toon Patrol in the movie, and implied that he ran away from them before ("It's not so bad! Once you get used to it."). So I think he has a past with them. I'm not entirely sure what though; dd he screw them over once? Does he owe them a debt? Or is it purely because he knows that they are the ones who will drag him to his death? It could easily just be the last one, but I love drama and him having dealt with the weasels before sounds perfect for the film noir vibe the entire film has.

And that's that! Any questions you guys have, I'll be more than happy to answer! ^^

#WFRR #Roger Rabbit #Who Framed Roger Rabbit #Disney #my own headcannons #LGBTQ #Jessica Rabbit #Baby Herman #i love how half of this was just attempting to explain how much he loves Jessica #i say attempt because no words can fully exoress how much they love each other #Greasy Weasel #(tagging the perv since he was mentioned) #Toon Patrol #Disney Heros

[natura-est-sacellum]

How do guys meet intelligent conservative women? It seems kind of impossible lately. I only date bbws and they all seem to be lame libs.

Well, I know that there are a few conservative dating apps here in the states. So you could start there.

But first, I think it's important to address the elephant in the room: bbw. Big beautiful women. Overweight women, correct?

Having a preferred body type is alright. Everyone has their preferences. Some girls, for example, like tall boys, while others love em some short kings. Guys can prefer skinny girls and big girls.

But saying "I only date bbws" is very limiting. Your perfect match and one true love could be out there...and she could be a size 2.

People have to remember this when considering going into marriage: you will still be married to that person even after your libido wanes.

Like I said, everyone has a type. Me? I like outdoorsy and rugged yet still emotionally available men with a dark sense of humor. My husband fits me to a T. I'm very lucky that he is over 6 feet tall, has gorgeous blue eyes, a sexy voice, and is physically very strong.

But where I find a deep connection with him is in our shared values. He values family, and wants to be a family almost as desperately as I want to be a mother. Sexy. He believes in hard work and being dependable and stable for his loved ones. He and I have similar political views, though he's a little more "live and let live, just leave me the hell alone". Even religiously, we're both attracted to Christianity to varying degrees, but have pasts that are...beyond mainstream religion, maybe even a little blasphemous...but we're working on it. Together.

That's what marriage is. It's not body types or hair color/eye color preferences; it's values. You are absolutely allowed to look for a woman who is physically attractive to you. But do not be surprised when your idea of the perfect woman ends up being a pill to deal with.

So go into love blindfolded. I recommend going to church, if you are Christian. Depending on where you live in the country, finding a good conservative woman might not be as hard as you think. You just need to be a little more open with your views. I know, that sounds scary. Sometimes, the other person might bring up politics before you even do. That's always nice. But, if you don't mind the potential debate you're opening yourself up to, maybe be a tad more vocal with your own beliefs. You don't know where people stand unless you have a conversation about it.

Some good rules of thumb though:

If she is into hunting/fishing/etc. she's probably more right of center

If she's a devout Christian, she's probably a little more inclined towards conservativism, double points if she's prolife

If she likes, or even owns guns, she's probably in favor of the 2nd amendment

None of these are hard and fast rules. And don't base it on what her aesthetic is either. I've known conservative women who dress in jeans, flannel, and hiking boots, looking like they belong on the front cover of a Cabela's catalog. And I've known conservative women who like to wear long flowy dresses and keep their hair in braids and smell like roses...myself included. It really depends on what kind of girl your looking for, honestly.

It's hard to give really solid advice, because I only know dating from a woman's perspective. And honestly, I met my husband on tinder. It's a sheer f*cking miracle that we're so similar of mind and values!

And maybe she's not a 100%, balls to the wall conservative woman. Maybe she's a constitutional libertarian. Or a classical liberal (though, do those even exist anymore?). It's possible to be with someone who you may not see eye to eye with on all topics. My husband and I disagree on some political matters. You're not going to agree with your future spouse on EVERYTHING. If you do, great! But it's more likely you may disagree on...let's say weed legalization. What difference does it make, honestly?

As long as you have the same priorities and are in agreement on those priorities, you're all set. Even if she's not your preferred body type. It's actually amazing; the human brain learns to find the people we love more attractive. So even if she isn't a big, beautiful goddess, you can still find her attractive...so long as you share the same values and want the same things out of life.

Hope this helps.

[werspinna]

Its nolonger Sunday, but before people are wondering what Wolfs views on Romance, Sex and Sexuality are and how that influences shipping here, lets discuss middle european views influenced by middle-medieval-times christianity for while Wolf is agnostic, she still is influenced by the christianity she grew up in. In short version: There is a big difference between the modern lense and what goes on through Wolfs lense. In a modern lense, Wolf would be panromantic and pansexual and also a little bit of a hoe. The little bit is a lie, but Wolf is at least charming enough that she would sing for someone she is flirting with. And considering she is a laysister and has no own room to which she can redraw to with a partner | partners, what she is singing is definitive Walter von der Vogelweides “ Under der linden”. In a longer version: Wolf makes a very big difference between “Love” and “Acts of flesh”. Love is good, love is always allowed, love should always be followed. Be it platonic, familair or explicit romantic love. She is after all living in a convent, so there are a few nuns who had married eachother, because Love is the purest emotion as holy as the christians gods love for the people and loving someone in any way is worshipping this love that god has for the people. Now what are her views on sexuality? Wolf has none. For her attraction and Love are the same and as Love is good and pure, so is the attraction to someone else as long as one keeps it as purely Love and fondness. And as Love should be spread, she has no problems in announcing, sharing and following that attraction by flirting or specifically seeking that person out, spend time with them, support them. In her mind everyone can love every other person, because as said, loving another person is an act of worship- the purest worship possible- so someone chosing to love someone and serve and support them freely out of their own will because they want to and have joy in that, is putting honour on them as they commit to this pure act.

In contrast to that what are her views on Sex? Wolf has a very narrow definition of Sex itself: Everything that is not between a husband and a wife in the married bed specifically for concieving a child, is not Sex. Why is marriage so important in that? Because if Sex only goal is to concieve a child, than this child needs to be taken care of and marriage is the specific contract that marks what property of the wife and the husband belong together and evetually will belong to the child so that noone of the familys Relatives can come over and say “Ey, that property your child will live from, is actually mine and I am not sharing it, so now your child is propertyless and will starve”. So the marriage part is the specific contract to make sure that the child is entitled to inhertance and therefor will survive and live.  Which is important because after the european marriage pattern parents usually have children in their thirties, children are send away at ten to learn a craft or work in other families and the parents (mostly the father, mother more often survive around ten years longer and remarries leading to second marriages with a stark agedierence and the wife often older than the husband) die with luck in their fifties, so the inheritance is the only thing that makes sure the children are taken care of when the parents are obviously nolonger around. As Wolf has no property and having children would mean having them and then let them die, she really will not have Sex specifically with anyone. That was the problem with her mother and father, because her mother had no dowry, which meant that there was only enough inheritance for her brother, but not enough for him to actually go out and have his own life but keep on living with his parents until they die. And splitting that already little inheritance would have meant econimocal ruin for both of them, so Wolf left. Sex and marriage are therefor under strict social rules that are generally more influenced by pagan social rules than actually christianity. The rise of Lovemarriage with Christianity actually lead to a lot of children fated for early death and poverty because of that.

So how is that working for Wolfs Sexlife? She has no Sex specifically after her definition, but that does not mean she is not sleeping with people or has Sex from a modern lense. Everything outside of marriage and not to concieve a child would be  “waste of semen” when its with someone with male genitalia or not even seen as a sexual act when it would be with someone with female genitalia or let alone not with penetration. So what in modern peoples eYes would be Sex is for her a part of  her showing her love for that person. If they are consenting to her showing it that way, that is. Wolf has no qualms in indulging and enjoying any of that with a partner, because from her eyes its after all not Sex (and therefor not bound by strict social norms as Sex and Marriage). She would however promptly recoil if a partner would bring up the idea of having children or marriage, because considering her economical state and view on social matters it would mean fating that child to poverty and early death. She would be with people or any Sex or gender, love thm, sleep with them, support them and generally be with that person in any way that would count as a romantic and | or sexual relationship,  but she would never specifically marry or have children.

#Not only a low hanging fruit but also someone who is very much going for a quickie in the next grassfield in wild nature. #headcanon #werspinna #tw: christianity #oh well discussing medieval christianity very different from the nowdays religion #encyclopedia of mediaval age put together in less than a page. goodness gracious

[ellaintrigue]

A Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar...

A few years ago my conservative Christian boss was leaning her 400 pound frame against the counter while me and Brian, my gay coworker did all the work as usual. Brian was married to a man but didn't talk about it with customers or anything. You never know how people will react around here. Our regular Muslim customer strode in and started yapping as usual. I had no problem with him, I just don't like religion. This guy randomly stated to my coworker that he needed to a find a good woman so he would smile more or something else along those lines. My boss smirked and said, "but he likes boys."

The Muslim absolutely loses it. He points at my coworker and starts screaming, "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!" over and over. Brian and I were shocked and my boss was laughing her ass off. I was worried we would get physically attacked. Christians and Muslims are often enemies yet they share the same views. It's ironic, really.

Bigotry in religion is a promise. Humans turn to religion for comfort and something to look up to but too many of them get a form of power from it: putting down others to feel good about themselves. But what I am rather confused on is reproduction. We all know that Muslims and Christians hate anyone who supports abortion, but what about the blurred lines on birth? The Muslim customer's daughter was 27 years old and had 7 children. She had babies with every man she dated. She had just given birth 3 months ago when she was hired at my job. While we worked together she met a new man and was pregnant by him within weeks of dating. WITH TRIPLETS! Because that is how she was raised. She was taught that the purpose of a woman was to give birth and her religion was against birth control. She ended up miscarrying one fetus and having a ruptured gallbladder.

She was a very beautiful young woman and clearly intelligent, just brainwashed. But I was baffled by her having never been married. A former coworker, a conservative Christian, had kid after kid with her ex husbands because she too was taught that her worth was based on having children. She neglected her kids, and my Muslim coworker would just leave her children with other people all the time. She offered to share her $900 foodstamp balance with me since she wasn't supporting her kids that week.

So I get mixed signals on whether you should be married or not but in religion you must give birth no matter what, that is a fact. I have had religious men call me a monster for not wanting kids and call me worthless if I say I can't have kids and leave the first part out. My mom's friend Anna became pregnant with a deformed fetus and early on her doctors told her to abort because the child would not live and only suffer in the short time it was alive. She refused because she was Catholic and carried it to term. It was a barely formed blob and suffered greatly before it died within hours of birth.

Another Muslim I spoke to said he would not let his wife see a gynecologist for her severe female issues because only "whores" get examined by doctors. I do like to tease these folks a bit, normally I rave how much I love to eat pork, but I added going to the doctor to the list. If I want to offend them I say that I get routine pap smears. GASP! The horror!

For whatever vague reason, women of radical religions must give birth at all costs: the cost of their mental and physical wellbeing, and the cost of the child's wellbeing. It doesn't matter if the kid is loved or cared for, only that it is born so a woman can prove her purpose. Religion is indeed created by men. Literally.

#Religion #Small town life #Patriarchy #Sexism #Homophobia #Oppression #Misogyny #Abortion #LGBTQ #Bigotry

[alaffy]

Vampire Academy, Ep.8 – The Trail

Well, we are three episodes until the end; or, rather, two episodes until the season finale.  And so it’s time for the obligatory everything goes to shit episode.

The episode begins and we find out that Sonya has disappeared.  Victor has covered up the murder and has told his family that Sonya has decided to take some time away.  We then cut to the end of the first trial, which Tatiana wins.

The next day, we find out that Meredith is teaching Christian how to fight with his powers (again, I do not understand why the Dhampir upraising has not begun yet).  As Meredith leaves, Lissa comes in to talk with Christian.  She lets him know that she found out that he has enough Dragomir blood in him, that she can marry him and get her quorum back.  While she says their marriage will be in name only, they both seem really happy at the prospect.  In fact, by the end of the episode; they are more or less married, I think.

Meanwhile, the Prospects get together and they try to piece together what has been happening with the Strigoi attacks.  They soon realize there is a pattern.  The attack at St. Jude killed off the rest of Lissa’s family. Then, you have the attack on the car that Lissa was in and the Strigoi following Lissa the night before. So, whatever is going on, has to do with Lissa; not Christian.

However, there has to be a traitor at the Academy; someone who’s in contact with Christian’s parents and is able to bring the gifts to Christian’s door. At first, they believe it’s Jesse as he can leave the Academy when he wants and he has a clear obsession with the Strigoi.  But that’s just a red herring.  

Of course, they also wonder if this isn’t just about Lissa; perhaps the car accident wasn’t an accident.  Considering it looked like part of the car blew up in the accident scene, I would say it probably wasn’t. I’m actually more surprised people think it was an accident to begin with.

Rose tries to tell Dimitri because, you know, he was actually hired to be Lissa’s guardian.  Of course, Dimitri is all like I can’t speak to you because I have to deny our love because of duty…blah, blah, blah.  Of course, maybe if Rose started out with, “Hey, there seems to be a pattern of Strigoi following/attacking your charge, may want to look into that.”  Maybe he would have listened.  

But we can’t have that; because drama.  For, you see, the next test is about it begin.  The two canidates must battle it out in the arena.  Just kidding.  The two candidates have to choose a champion who will battle it out in the area (like the Moroi would dirty their little hands).  Tatiana, who sees Dimitri is a man of faith, chooses him as her champion.  Rose, realizing this is the only way to get to Dimitri, forces Victor to choose her. And, long story short, Rose gets in the ring and tries to get Dimitri to fight back; but he won’t because of love or whatever (and you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m not into this relationship).  And, so, Rose kicks his ass and Victor wins.  However, because of what happened in the ring, Dimitri has decided he cannot be around Rose and will ask for a transfer.  Yeah, yeah, just go.

We also have a brief moment where Meredith thinks she might loose Mia to her old Moroi buddies or something.  Honestly, this scene felt like it was just there for drama, considering there wasn’t any real buildup to this moment.  

Also, just before the fight Lissa and Christian complete most of the rights that lead to them being married.  The only thing is that they haven’t really exchanged gifts.  Also, around this time, the rest of the Prospects tells Christian their theory about how his parents might be the people behind killing Lissa’s family.  Christian, apparently tell Lissa offscreen, and Lissa and Mason trick Rose into meeting with Lissa in order to do a memory walk (some magic thing where they take drugs and are able to see each others memories).  We learn that, after Lissa saved Rose’s life, Lissa passed out. Rose, however, does see what happens next; but didn’t remember because of the whole trauma of being brought back from the dead (understandable).  Rose sees two Strigoi heading for the car and, sure enough, they are Christian’s parents.

Lissa hopes that she and Rose can work together to find out what is going on. However, after the events of the past few episodes, Rose has realized that Lissa was right (in a sense) in the last episode.  They need to go their separate ways for now.  Rose has realized that she has invested so much of herself in being Lissa’s protector, that she really doesn’t know who she is outside of that.  In fact, Rose is no longer sure she wants to be a Guardian.  And, by the end of the episode, Rose convinces Mason to run away with her.

Lissa, meanwhile, goes back to Christian and confirms his parents are involved in the death of her parents.  Now, here’s the thing.  While I’m not as invested in the show as I thought I might be after the first episode, I still am interested in what is going on with Christian’s parents.  What, exactly, are their goals here?  I mean, at the base of it, seeing as how they turned themselves into Strigoi; I could easily see that might want to eradicate a more progressive and popular royal family like the Dragomir’s.  However, as we find out that their outside person is this Human Feeder who’s been giving Christian, well, relationship advice; it seems like they’re trying to get him married to Lissa.  Did they know about that Dragomir blood and the ancient rules? What is their goal here?  And are they working alone?  In other words, why do I have a feeling Tatiana may be involved as well?

At this point, however, Lissa tells Christian that he’s nothing like his parents and that she wants to marry him…one day.  But today is not that day.  Bullshit.  You’ve got one side that sees half of the population as cannon fodder and another side that sees everyone as an all-night buffet and is apparently smarter then others will give them credit for.  You are the only one who might be able to stop this, but only if you can regain your seat on the Council.  You marry that guy and you figure out a way to use both of your connections to save everyone.  But we have to have our tragic romance, I guess.  

Finally, while this is going on, we have the final test.  Victor and Tatiana are given the blood of Vladimir; which will put them in a trance, more or less.  Then, they will be asked one question.  The first one to wake up from the trance with the correct answer, will be the winner.  Victor goes under and he sees a memory his daughters when they were kids.  He also sees memories of what happened with Sonya. Victor wakes up and tells everyone that, to be a good ruler, a Monarch should be willing to give up everything for their people.  And with that Victor wins.  However, before he becomes King, Tatiana has one last trick up her sleeve.  Instead of giving a concession speech, she tells people that Victor should not be King because he is sick and because of what has happened to his daughter.  A cage is brought in and inside the cage is Sonya; who is now a Strigoi.  

#vampire academy #lissa dragomir #rose hathaway #christian ozera #sonya karp #dimitri belikov #tatina vogel #victor dashkov #mason ashford #meredith beckham #Mia karp

[god-whispers]

aug 17

chuckles ver 2

i felt it may be time for a few more of you to "lighten" the load.  we often try to carry too much of it ourselves.  that's not something we have to do.  "casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 pet 5:7  so sit back and have a few good chuckles and remember - He's got you covered.

-------

Jesus' dad's name - a sunday school teacher asked her class, "what was Jesus' mother's name?"  one child answered, "mary."  the teacher then asked, "who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"  a little kid said, "verge."  confused, the teacher asked, "where did you get that?"  the kid said, "well, you know they are always talking about verge n' mary." ------- 3-year-old, reese - "our Father, who does art in heaven, harold is His name.  amen." ------- a little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.  i'm having a real good time like i am." ------- after the christening of his baby brother in church, jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  his father asked him three times what was wrong.  finally, the boy replied, "that preacher said he wanted us brought up in a christian home, and i wanted to stay with you guys." ------- i had been teaching my three-year old daughter, caitlin, the Lord's prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.  finally, she decided to go solo.  i listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail." ------- one particular four-year-old prayed, "and forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." ------- a sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, "and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"  one bright little girl replied, "because a lot of people are sleeping." ------- six-year-old angie and her four-year-old brother joel were sitting together in church.  joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.  finally, his big sister had had enough.  "you're not supposed to talk out loud in church."  "why?  who's going to stop me?" joel asked.  angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "see those two men standing by the door?  they're hushers." ------- a mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, kevin, 5 and ryan 3.  the boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.  their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.  "if Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'let my brother have the first pancake, i can wait.'"  kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "ryan, you be Jesus!" ------- a father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.  "daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.  "he died and went to heaven," the dad replied.  the boy thought a moment and then said, "did God throw him back down?" ------- a wife invited some people to dinner.  at the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "would you like to say the blessing?"  "i wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.  "just say what you hear mommy say," the wife answered.  the daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did i invite all these people to dinner?" ------- a married couple were arguing who is making the coffee, the wife said that in the bible it says that men should make the coffee and the husband asked her where it said that.  the wife opened the Bible and said: "right here in HEBREWS!" ------- as the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.  he called out, "anyone here know how to pray?"  one man stepped forward.  "aye, captain, i know how to pray."  "good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."

-------

the "good news" is that there are enough life jackets for everyone in Jesus.  if there's a storm raging in your life remember, He not only knows how to quite the storm, He knows how to be a refuge in it.

i thank Him everyday, whatever comes my way.  try it!  i think you'll like it.  what a wonderful, magnificent, loving, powerful God we serve.

[the-good-ending-of-the-world]

My guy, pelle please 💕

Sorry if this is a little short 💃

Prompt: After what felt like years, Pelle is finally reunited with his dear soulmate, his twin flame, in Sweden, this calls for reunion sex.

Bro I didn't mean to post this yet😭

You watched anxiously at the peak of the horizon, as you waited for your älskling to return home, although he had only been gone for ten months it felt as if you had been apart for a decade. "Patience, Y/N, he will come." Ingemar places his hand on your knee as he sits in the grass beside you. "I know, but..." he shushes you with a stare, "Yes Y/n. He still loves you. No Y/N. He has not gone and fucked some American." He sighs and you giggle in return, making him smile. You and Ingemar had a strong relationship, like you were family, and you will once you and Pelle finally get married.

"Y/N, Ingemar we're back," Connie announce in a sing-song form, holding Simon's hand in hers, "this place is b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l I wouldn't mind living here." She punctuates each letter, and you both smile at her in appreciation and Ingemar nodded in agreement.

"Who's that?" Simon finally speaks for the first time since you had been introduced, he points to the top of the hill where the road and meadow meet. "Oh my!" You rush to your feet running through the long grass to you fiance. Once blocking the suns bright glare he catches you running towards him, pure happiness and excitement plastered on your face. He begins to jog over to you meeting you in the middle and catching to you as you practically jump on him. He could feel your happiness and love through your bright aura, yet mirrors your feelings perfectly. He peppers your face in kisses and slowly spins the two of you around, "I missed you so much my kärlek..." the sentence ended with more kisses "So did I, I think I drove your brother insane with my love sickness." You both laugh.

"Oh, älskling, I'm here now," he reassures you, placing you gently on the floor, "Oh, yes...these are my friends from America: Christian, Mark, Josh and Dani." He smiles, pointing to each one as he introduces them, you shake each of there hands, and give a friendly smile to Dani, "Its wonderful to meet you Dani, Josh, Mark and..." embarrassing, you've ready forgotten his name, "Christian." Josh helps you and you thank him. Ingemar which has now joined the group introduces himself and his friends. "I'm Pelles brother Ingemar. And this is Simon and Connie from London." They both reach their hand out as Pelle greets them. Ingemar reaches into his pocket, you notice Pelles loving gaze on you the entire time, he retrieves a bag you had already seen before, it was pull of small mushrooms, "We took some like five minutes ago but they haven't kicked in."

As the group all volunteered themselves Pelle pulls you aside from the group, his lips instantly against yours, "Fuck, I missed you so bad..." he repeats "I missed everything about you your lips, your laugh, your smile and how good you feel around me..." he groans into your ear, your face heat up and you stand on your tiptoes to look over his shoulder to see if the group are in earshot. "Well then, you best hope we can sneak away without getting caught then, huh stilig?" You tease back at him moving your hand to stroke his hair as his lips now attack you neck.

You pull away from his kisses, much to his dismay, and take him by the hand- leading him to the small cabin the two of you lived in whilst you spent your time together. Every time you had caught a glimpse of his face on the short trip, he looked lovestruck, like a child being given their favourite treat, his pupils dialated and mouth curved into a beautiful smile. Pelle was a pure work of the gods, a gift from them. He was given their, kindness, talent and intelligence, as well as their beauty.

"Come my love." He opens the door for you, pounching on you when the door was closed. His lips retreat back to latching onto your neck, hands already wandering your hips whilst yours rest in his hair once again pulling lightly. "Bed please..." you whine to him, he nods and grabs your waist, the two of you clumsily stumble across the room in a messy attempt to remove each others clothes, he slips the dress from the shoulders and pulls away from you as the back of you knees hit the bed, and fall back onto the soft surface. He unbuttoned his shirt with ease and pulls it over his head and crawls over you, forcing both hands above your head "I dreamt about you every night..." he confesses, his lips assaulting your neck, " Missed you so much..." you whisper, panting out of pleasure. "For fuck sake Pelle, hurry up..." he laughs at your desperation and pulls away from your neck and just stares at you, admiring your beauty, something he missed so much.

#afab reader #slasher x reader #midsommar #pelle midsommar

[skamenglishsubs]

Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, What's in a name?

I thought I was done, but I have material for one more post. I want to write more about how royal names work, because I've seen a lot of confusion and simple lack of knowledge in the tags, so think of this as more of an informative culture post than an analysis post of the show.

European royals and nobles have styles, names, titles, and houses. In addition, monarchs have regnal names.

A style is how you formally address someone, based on their rank and title. In Sweden, the only styles left are "majesty" and "royal higness", where kings and queens are addressed as "your majesty", and select members of the royal family are addressed as "your royal highness". In Swedish, these styles are often abbreviated as H.M. - Hans/Hennes Majestät and H.K.H. - Hans/Hennes Kungliga Höghet. In English, the abbreviations are HM and HRH.

In the show, you can see this when Simon meets the Queen, and shakily addresses her as "Your Majesty", or when Minou calls up August and says "Her Majesty the Queen has resolved your problems with the school fee".

In less formal, but still polite speech, you would use third person addressing when talking to or about the royals, and there are numerous examples of this in the show:

Anette to Erik: "How nice to see the crown prince again!"

Some aide to Wilhelm: "Could we get a shot of the prince shaking hands with the headmistress?"

Anette: "Wilhelm, sorry, the crown prince, how nice the memorial was!"

August: "The queen has asked me, personally, to take care of him."

Malin: "I just wanted to remind the crown prince that breakfast closes in five minutes."

Names for royals and nobles work just like the rest of us, but with one exception: Royals generally do not use last names, while lesser nobles do. They also tend to have several first names, and while they generally pick names for their children based on trends in society, they stay on the traditional conservative side, and they often pick names from their family history.

The show only tells us one first name for each member of the royal family: Kristina, Ludvig, Erik, and Wilhelm, so we have no idea what other names they might have.

In the real world, the name of the king of Sweden is Carl Gustaf Folke Hubertus, the crown princess' name is Victoria Ingrid Alice Désirée, and her oldest daughter's name is Estelle Silvia Ewa Mary, just to give you some flavour of what it could look like.

Titles are what sets higher nobles apart from us mere commoners, and have their origin in the feudal system of medieval Europe, which was a hierarchical socio-economic-military system where the lord of a land could grant a portion of his land, a fief, to a vassal in exchange for fealty - loyalty, taxes, and military service. Doing so would create a title, it would make the vassal a noble of a lower rank than his lord, because you could only create titles lower than the one you possessed. So, in general, kings could create dukes or lower, dukes could create counts or lower, and counts could create barons. The fief of a duke is called a duchy, a count ruled over a county, and a baron over a barony, although there were more ranks and more titles than that, depending on region and language, but those are the main ones.

Every single squabble or conflict or battle or civil war or war fought in the middle ages was over the titles, because the titles legally conferred ownership of a piece of land, and with it the rights of taxation and the economic value of that land. Over time, kingdoms got more centralized and the hierarchical nature of the system broke down, while the titles became more hereditary, and ownership of the land became less important, which meant that minor nobles lost the power to create vassals and fiefs, while the power to create titles was reserved for the monarchs, and titles created in this era usually only granted people a title for an area or a castle or a manor house that they already owned.

Going into modern times, European countries curbed title creation, but generally kept protections for existing titles and allowing them to be inherited according to whatever inheritance rules applied to each title. But if a title holder dies without a legal heir, the title is lost forever, which means that most modern day noble families want to make sure their title, their history, their legacy can survive long into the future. Also note that one person can hold several titles, and each of those titles can be inherited individually and under different rules.

In Sweden, there are currently 46 comital families (greve/grevinna - count/countess), 131 baronial families (friherre/friherrinna - baron/baroness), and 484 untitled lower noble families. There are no independent ducal families, instead the monarch grants royal children a ceremonial duchy at birth, for one of the 25 historical provinces of Sweden. This means that every single member of the Swedish royal family is a prince or princess of Sweden, and also duke or duchess of some province.

Again, we have no idea what province Wilhelm is the duke of in the show, while for example in the real Sweden, Princess Estelle is the duchess of Östergötland, Prince Carl Philip is duke of Värmland, and Princess Leonore is duchess of Gotland.

A noble house is a noble family or clan that is associated with one or more hereditary titles. Noble houses were founded when someone was ennobled and granted a title, and a noble house can branch and wither and split and form new houses over the ages, and it can gain or lose status as its members gain or lose noble titles and ranks.

In medieval times, these family bonds were very strong, and many major conflicts were a result of different houses fighting over various titles, for example the Wars of the Roses was a 32 year long civil war over the throne of England between the House of York and the House of Lancaster.

A royal house is a noble house that holds a title of king or queen, and for members of the royal family, their house name is what they have instead of a normal last name. We don't know which royal house Wilhelm belongs to in the show, but the current royal house of Sweden is the House of Bernadotte, named after the French rando we imported that I wrote about in the last post. Other houses that have been the royal house of Sweden throughout history include the House of Holstein-Gottorp, the House of Oldenburg, and the House of Vasa.

Finally, a regnal name is a name that a reigning monarch chooses for themselves when they ascend the throne, and it consists of one or more of their first names, and a roman numeral ordinal if there have been previous kings or queens with that name. If you're the first of your name to rule over a kingdom, you can choose to call yourself "the first", or you can choose not to.

In the show, Kristina doesn't appear to have an ordinal, but in real life Sweden there was a Queen Kristina who reigned in the middle of the 1600's. (She was probably a lesbian, caused the death of French philosopher René Descartes, abdicated in favour of her cousin, and moved to Rome and converted to Catholicism. As you do.)

In the real world, the king of Sweden reigns under the name Carl XVI Gustaf, because he's the sixteenth (tenth, actually) Karl to have been king of Sweden, and he also picked his second name because he liked it, or because he wanted to stand out from the fifteen other Karls who preceded him. His regnal name is pronounced Carl den sextonde Gustaf - Carl the sixteenth Gustaf.

Putting all of this together, the styles, the names, the titles, and the houses, and we can finally get the full formal names of various royals. Here are examples from some European royal families to demonstrate what it can look like:

HRH Madeleine Thérèse Amelie Josephine, Princess of Sweden, Duchess of Hälsingland and Gästrikland, of house Bernadotte.

HH Felix Henrik Valdemar Christian, Prince of Denmark, Count of Monpezat, of house Glücksburg.

HRH Ingrid Alexandra, Princess of Norway, of house Glücksburg.

HRH Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, of house Windsor.

HRH Catharina-Amalia Beatrix Carmen Victoria, Princess of the Netherlands, Princess of Orange, of house Orange-Nassau

HRH Emmanuel Léopold Guillaume François Marie, Prince of Belgium, of house Belgium.

HRH Infanta Sofía de Todos los Santos de Borbón y Ortiz, of house Bourbon.

These names are quite the mouthful, and the full names and styles are only used in very formal settings. Normally, these people are referred to with their highest title, and their chosen first names, i.e. Princess Madeleine, Prince Felix, Princess Ingrid Alexandra, Prince William, Princess Catharina-Amalia, Prince Emmanuel, and Infanta Sofía.

We only have the short name of Wilhelm, i.e. Prince Wilhelm, in the show. We don't have his full name, but if it follows form, he would be HRH Wilhelm <Name> <Name> <Name>, Prince of Sweden, Duke of <Province>, of house <House>.

Note that Wilhelm's father is not a king, he's a prince-consort, since Wilhelm's mother is the reigning monarch. The proper styles for his parents would be Her Majesty Queen Kristina (II?), and His Royal Highness Prince Ludvig.

The only other nobles in the show we have full names for is August and Felice, and August's full name would be August <Name?> Horn, Count (or Baron) of Årnäs. Felice's would be just Felice <Name?> Ehrencrona, because her parents are still alive and still hold whatever title they have.

Commoners marrying into a royal family is no longer forbidden or controversial, and all European royal families have had commoners marrying into them in the past few generations.

Based on precedence, if Wilhelm and Simon were to get back together and marry in the future, and if they get the consent of the Queen and the government, the following would happen:

Simon would be offered to be made a prince of Sweden, and with it gain the style of HRH.

Simon would be offered to be made a duke of some province.

If he accepts, he would lose his last name, and go from Simon Eriksson to HRH Simon, Prince of Sweden, Duke of <Province>, or simply Prince Simon.

If he declines, he would stay as Mr. Simon Eriksson.

When/If Wilhelm ascends the throne, he would chose a regnal name, and get an ordinal depending on the number of Wilhelms before him. If he's the first of his name, he would simply be King Wilhelm.

And if he and Simon are married when he ascends, Simon would not become king, he would become a prince-consort, and keep the title of prince.

#young royals #young royals subtext #young royals analysis

[katsubiatch]

Distant Shores-1

Summary: The heathens came to raid every year, stealing treasures and killing along the way. Your father was the King of Wessex and wanted to strike a deal with the heathens. The heathens and their ruthless numbers in exchange for some lands to farm, riches... and you. You are the Christian princess that is now to marry the Heathen King, a man that you're sure would rather kill you than marry you. This is going to be a miserable marriage.

A Viking!BakugouxReader fic.

Warnings: Arrange Marriage, general viking things, abusive father

They came every year, rowing to shore in their long boats with the intricately decorated dragon or serpent heads, shields of all colors decorating the sides. They would set up camp near the edges of the water, far enough to stay dry but not so far that they couldn't leave in a haste if need be. Violent in their tendencies and lacking the most simple of manners. Vulgar in their speech but carefree and happy. Men and women fighting side by side. They were tall, muscular, built like the gods they worshiped. Some with long hair that was braided back from their face, others with the sides shorn short and what was left was braided. Almost all had some sort of facial hair, minus the young ones desperately trying to grow it in, and if that was long enough it would be braided as well. Their clothing was not all together different from what you were used to. Perhaps not as ostentatious or gaudy as a he clothing around court. It was practical and useful, rather than just for show. Your father, the King of Wessex, was intrigued by these heathens as he called them. They had came ashore last year, destroying a few temples and killing all the holy men and women inside of them while stealing all the treasure inside, before taking their leave back to their homelands. It was interesting to say the least, though they had heard of these northmen before this was only the second time they had made camp on their shores. So In an effort of good faith your father decided to invite them to the castle, to talk he said. He wanted to strike a deal with them. He was going to offer a few things he thought they could not refuse. So he sent out a messenger to bring back their leaders for a feast. They spoke in a different tongue, looking at the women of court with lustful eyes as they ate. One man, who seemed to be their leader spoke up as he looked at the King. "What is it you have to offer me?" He spoke your language but it was choppy with the words out of place. You were surprised to find he knew the words at all. His hair was short on the sides, the rest braided back until it ended in a short pony tail. He had red eyes that you felt could pierce through anything or anyone. Scars littered his arms and bare chest, an axe and a sword at his hips. "Well, I am willing to offer some lands for you to do as you wish. Farm, build settlements. They are yours to do as you wish. I am also willing to offer you something more." The man said, grinning at the Viking earl. "I am offering my pure daughter, Y/N, to you." You. You were an offering. You always knew that your marriage would be arranged but you didn't think like this. To someone who had different customs, a different language, a different land someone who was different in almost every way possible. You wanted to throw up

The last thing that you thought your father was going to offer up was you. After all you were his only daughter and you figured that you would be married off to someone, a prince or lord in order for you father to gain some lands or troops for wars. Though you supposed this was kind of the same thing. The last thing that you expected was to be offered up to the Heathen King. You could feel his gaze on you, calculating red eyes watching your every move. You kept your eyes downcast, a habit from living in the castle for so long. You tried your hardest to hide the look of shock on your face, train it into a neutral expression.

"Well aren't you lucky, you get the Christian princess." One of the men next to the Heathen king spoke to him, in their language. One that you didn't understand.

"I have no need for a wife... but I could make it work. His proposition is interesting. I feel like he is going to double cross us."

The viking seemed to contemplate for a minute, hand rubbing over his chin as he looked you up and down before looking back at his men. "I will accept your offer, but I am surprised you would give up your virgin daughter to such a... heathen like myself." You could feel your face heat up at that, like they were talking about you without you even being there, despite the fact that you could feel the Vikings eyes on you the entire time.

"Well you are the man I need to make an alliance with right now." Your father stated, leaning back in his chair. "She will make a fine wife, I'm sure she can adjust to your ways." It became quite obvious to Bakugou that the king did not care about his daughter and what happened to her. He knew of the rumors that were spread about them. How they raped women and killed them when they no longer 'served their purpose.' He could tell you were scared but it seemed as though your father did not care.

"Then she will leave with us in the morning, we will be married under our Gods." Bakugou grunted, taking a long drink out of his cup, eyes never leaving your shaking frame. There was not much more that you could take, you didn't want to marry yet let alone a barbarian that you didn't even know. Someone who hardly spoke your language, who had different customs and Gods than you.

You excused yourself and made your way out of the hall, running as soon as you were out of sight. You couldn't slow your breaths, they were coming much too fast. You felt as though you were hyperventilating and needed to calm down. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, maybe it would be okay. Once you made it to your room you had calmed down just a bit. You still did not want to marry this man. He looked cruel and would surely just have his way with you.

You sighed as you sat at your vanity, taking out the clips and pins that held your hair up in its complicated look. You supposed now you'd have to have it in the braids you saw on all the Viking women. You moved it back away from your face when you heard a knock on the door that caused your heart to race. You knew it was your father, sent to give you instructions that you didn't want to follow.

"Well, you embarrassed me out there. Running away like that, it's almost like you don't want to marry that brute." Your father hadn't waited for an answer to come in. "You have to make him happy, the last thing I want is them storming our shores because you're too stupid to please this man."

"Father I don't want to marry him. I do not know him and... and what if he kills me? You could marry me off to a prince from a neighboring land and they could offer your army to help if the viki,.." you started to say before you were struck against the cheek. The king of Wessex didn't like being told what to do, especially not by a woman.

"You will listen to what I have to say child, you will do as you are told, no questions. You will marry that brute and you will like it. Keep him pleased bed remind him of our treaty or I can send someone to remind you of your place." Your father threatened, pointing a finger in your face while you held your cheek and tears sprang out of your eyes. You had thought perhaps he had some shred of love left for you, however he just saw you as a bargaining chip.

That night you did not sleep well, tossing and turning. Dreaming about a pair of bright red eyes.

The next morning your maids had dressed your for the last time, putting you in a simple dress and cloak that wasn't too showy but was still made of fine fabrics that showed your status. A bruise had formed on your cheek from your fathers ring but that was something he didn't try to hide anymore. His daughter had a wild tongue according to him, and he needed to correct it. This wasn't the first time that he had struck you, but you were hopeful it would be the last. Unless of course your new husband was the same.

You were told you didn't need to pack anything, your husband to be would provide everything that you'd need. Least that is what they told your father. So down you went to where they were waiting, restless horses under even more restless men. They'd been giving plenty of gold and treasures to get them through the winter so they were eager to get back home. "Here she is, your future wife." The King said, presenting you to the Viking leader. You dared to look up at him, seeing the same eyes that had plagued your dreams. You watched his eyes flick around your face, lingering on your cheek before landing on your eyes. You soon looked away, not wanting to cause any new problems. It was the way you were raised, never look a man too long in the eyes. It was disrespectful. "She has some problems obeying but I am sure you can get her in line." The king winked befor pushing your towards the horse that Bakugou was on. He looked down at you before hoisting you on top of the beast to sit in front of him. Your face turned a bright pink, you'd never been this close to a man before, and his bare chest was burning into your back. You supposed that you'd have to get used to this if you were to be married soon.

Your father and future husband shared a few words with each other that you didn't pay attention to before you were off. The entire ride the few Vikings that had come along we're all talking in their own language, nothing that you understood but they seemed to be in good spirits, laughing and joking. You were lost in your own world, gently running your fingers over the horses mane before you heard the man behind you speak up. "What happened to your face?"

You weren't expecting it after how quiet he'd been for the entire ride so you jumped at the sudden noise behind you. You chewed on your cheek, deciding on an answer before landing on, "My father was correcting me. That is all." You weren't sure of the correct answer but that apparently wasn't it as you heard a grunt behind you and a small growl.

Before long you made it back to the Viking camp, which was mostly torn down at this point, bustling with activity. The boats were being packed, tents torn down and supplies being put up. You were in awe at how fast they worked, and were intrigued with the people and what they were doing. It was almost like a culture shock, you were used to the castle and this was something different. The man that was to be your husband helped you off your horse and gave you a warning to stay close. In the matter of an hour everything was packed up, you staying close to the man was he went around inspecting work and checking things before he lifted you onto a boat and climbed on himself.

The boat itself was amazing, all the little attentions to detail was beautiful, your fingers traced over the edge and the little designs there. You were again in awe, you could deal with this. If you could see little things of beauty like this then you could take it. Once set off to the sea your eyes were wide with wonder. You hadn't ever been this far before, you hadn't even been out on the water and it was breath taking. You couldn't get enough. That is... until you were sprayed in the face with the water. You coughed and shook your head, as the men on the boat laughed. You didn't complain however, you were still just in awe of the sights. What you didn't notice was a curious pair of eyes watching you from the other end of the boat, never leaving you as he watched you drink in everything. He was curious about you, that was for sure.

After getting hit with the ocean water you learned your lesson about staying too close to the edge. However as night time drew closer and the sun went below the horizon it was freezing and your cloak wasn't cutting it. However you didn't complain, instead just hugged it closer to yourself.

"It looks like your princess is going to freeze to death." One of the rowing men commented, looking over to Bakugou. "Might want to warm her up."

Bakugou heard this and in turn stood up with a grunt before walking over to you and unceremoniously dropped on of his furs onto your shoulders. You looked curiously up at him, but melted into the warmth it gave. "Thank you." You chattered out, cuddling close to the furs.

"Can't let you freeze, princess." Bakugou murmured as shuffled back over to where he came from. You watched him go and smiled softly, perhaps he wasn't so bad after all.

#Viking Bakugou #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x you #katuski x reader #katsuki x y/n #Bakugou x reader #Distant Shores

[edettethegreat]

in honor of the end of high school, here’s a short summary of every book I had to read over the past 4 years:

9th grade

A Separate Peace-

Finny: Hi Gene!

Gene: *pushes him out of a tree*

Finny: Ouch. *dies*

Great Expectations-

Pip: I hate Estella

Pip: nevermind she’s pretty

Pip: I like Estella

Pip: but she doesn’t like me!

Pip: she was leading me on this whole time!!

Estella, who constantly told Pip she doesn’t like him: I was what now.

Lord of the Flies-

Ralph: we need to keep order on this island

Jack: but what if we didn’t

Ralph: ok you do you and I’ll do me

*after at least 2 people die*

Ralph and Jack: where did we go wrong

Alice in Wonderland-

Alice: huh wow this sure is a weird land I landed in

The Tempest-

Prospero: Here’s my elaborate revenge scheme on my brother

Prospero: it involves my daughter happily marrying the man she loves

Prospero: and then we all happily return to Italy

Prospero: with my brother facing minimal legal consequences for banishing me.

Prospero: REVENGE!!

Driving Miss Daisy-

Daisy: hi I’m racist

Hoke: but what if you weren’t

Daisy: huh. I never considered that. Thanks.

Pygmalion-

Higgins: I think I’m going to mildly abuse this kid called Eliza

Eliza: huh that sure would suck 

Higgins: sucks to be you then. This wouldn’t be happening if you spoke proper English.

Eliza: that doesn’t sound entirely right, but I don’t know enough about proper English to argue.

10th grade

To Kill a Mockingbird-

Atticus: in conclusion, this man is undeniably innocent

Jury: Atticus have you considered that this is the south and he’s black?

Jury: *unanimously votes Guilty*

Atticus: literally what is wrong with you.

The Merchant of Venice-

Shylock: in conclusion, I have a legal contract stating I can stab the guy who’s been committing hate crimes against me for years now

Portia: Shylock have you considered that this is 14th century Italy and you’re Jewish?

The court: *forces him to give his possessions away and convert to Christianity*

Shylock: literally what  is wrong with you.

The Count of Monte Cristo-

Villefort: In conclusion, you’re clearly innocent and someone’s framing you

Villefort: but have you considered that you now have evidence that my father committed treason and if I don’t send you  to jail you might tell someone?

Villefort: *gives Edmond a life sentence in the Chateau d’If*

Edmond: literally what is wrong with you.

11th Grade

My Antonia-

Jim: welp I’m an orphan now so I’m gonna move in with my relatives in Nebraska

Jim: *does that*

Jim: welp Nebraska is full of fields and farms.

Jim: guess I gotta learn some farming now.

Fahrenheit 451-

Montag: what if I read a book?

Everything: *goes very wrong*

Montag: oh no.

Twelve Angry Men-

Everyone except for 8: the kid’s guilty

8: but get this

8: what if he’s not

Everyone: *is angry*

Macbeth-

Witches: you’ll be king!

Macbeth: ah so I have to kill the guy who’s currently king?

Witches: ... literally when did we say that?

Macbeth: ok he’s dead now.

Huckleberry Finn-

Huck: hey Jim let’s leave this place together!

Jim: ok

Huck, 20 chapters later: I don’t know what’s happening but I have at least 10 aliases now

Twelfth Grade

The Longest Day-

The World: hey guys who’s up for a Second World War?

Everybody: no please no

The World: oops too late

Beowulf-

Beowulf: I’ll fight all the monsters!!

Everyone: yeah!!

Beowulf: oops a dragon bit me and I’m dead now

Homecoming-

Dicey: wow it sure sucks that our mom abandoned us

Dicey: if only we could find a functional place to live

Nobody:

Dicey: actually yeah I don’t know what I was expecting- no one can afford to take in 4 children in this economy

Raison in the Sun-

Lena: Here’s all the money we have

Lena: be very responsible with it- we need it to buy a house and send your sister to medical school

Walter: oops I lost it all to my sketchy friend who turned out to be a scammer 

Lena: literally WHAT DID I JUST SAY??

Antigone-

Antigone: I’m gonna go bury my brother

Creon: ok then I’m gonna go murder you

That one guy: actually if you kill her everything will go very wrong

Creon: I’m gonna kill her anyway.

Everything: *goes wrong*

Creon: If only someone would have warned me!!

Hamlet-

the ghost: go kill your uncle. Avenge my death.

Hamlet: ok

Hamlet: *responsibly verifies the facts*

Hamlet: ok NOW it’s murder time!

Hamlet: *kills the wrong person*

Hamlet: whoops.

The ghost: you had ONE job!!

Death of a Salesman-

Willy: I wanna die

Everyone: ok.

Willy: *kills himself*

Everyone: if only there had been some way to prevent this tragic outcome! 

Long day’s Journey into Night-

Edmund: dad I’m dying

James Sr.: hi dying I’m dad

Edmund: that’s not helpful. *proceeds to suffer*

King Lear-

Lear: I’ll divide up my kingdom according to who loves me the most

Goneril and Regan: that would be us

Lear: well since lying wasn’t invented yet I’m going to believe that wholeheartedly.

Pride and Prejudice-

Elizabeth: I hate Darcy

Elizabeth: plus Wickham says he’s the worst

Elizabeth: oh wait Wickham was lying

Elizabeth: oh wait Darcy’s really rich and hot

Elizabeth: nevermind I like Darcy now.

#A Separate Peace #Great Expectations #lord of the flies #Alice In Wonderland #The Tempest #shakespeare #shakespeare memes #Driving Miss Daisy #pygmalion #To Kill A Mockingbird #the merchant of Venice #the count of monte cristo #my antonia #fahrenheit 451 #twelve angry men #macbeth #huckleberry finn #the longest day #beowulf #homecoming #raison in the sun #Antigone #hamlet #death of a salesman #Long Day’s Journey Into Night #King Lear #pride and prejudice #memes

[amyscascadingtabs]

give you my wild, give you a child

"stupid numbers, think they’re so great. i'd love to see numbers give you a baby."

inspired by that one line in 8x08 renewal, because he really did give her a baby.

read on ao3

It's been three days and Amy can't stop crying.

 Sometimes she thinks it's stopped, that she'll finally have a stable moment to talk to her husband or eat a meal in peace or facetime some of the twenty or so relatives on her list, but it feels like it’s never more than minutes before her emotions swim to surface again and something new brings out the vibrating sobs that have seemed to characterize this day. As it turns out, even newly pregnant Amy has got nothing on three days postpartum Amy.

 That she cries about the big, life-changing things doesn’t surprise her. When she wakes up after a night of minimal sleep and sees Mac in the bedside crib next to her, she cries because she’s so grateful; that everything went well, that their baby is finally here and that he's perfect beyond words. Then she cries because she thinks about what could have happened if it hadn't gone well, because she gave birth in a makeshift birthing suite in a police precinct, and so many things could have gone wrong it’s a miracle nothing did. When she gets out of the shower, she cries seeing herself in the bathroom mirror, because she's proud of her body in a way she's never experienced before. Then she cries because she also barely recognizes the person staring back at her, still looking six months pregnant except with hospital underwear and nursing pads in her bra. When she has breakfast after feeding Mac and tries to read the newspaper, she cries because so many terrible things are happening in the world all the time, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to protect this child from a world that sometimes seems to be getting more and more cruel by the day. Then she cries out of guilt for feeling that way, because she’s supposed to be enjoying this baby bubble, and what kind of mother even is she for daring to think about anything but her baby right now?

  As the day goes on, however, her reasons for crying begin to feel increasingly ridiculous. She cries because she’s so relieved to be drinking regular coffee again, then because it doesn’t taste the same as decaf and she’s gotten so used to it that the caffeine tastes weird now. She cries because the coffee goes cold anyway when Mac begins to whimper and suck on his fingers in the way he seems to do whenever he’s hungry and she has to drop everything to feed him another time. She cries when Jake turns on the television and a commercial for diapers comes on, because she can’t believe they get to buy them now. Then she cries when Mac has finished eating because the red flannel she borrowed slash stole from Jake won’t button properly, and she realizes one of the buttons has gone in the wrong hole and she has to redo the whole thing. When Jake offers to help her with it, that makes her cry too, because the way he’s not laughing at her right now but patiently trying to solve her problems is making her feel so loved she doesn't know how to thank him.

  The thing that makes her cry most of all, though, is watching Jake and Mac together. She always knew that sight would drive her crazy, and it’s part of the reason she wanted to have kids with him so much in the first place, but not even in her most indulgent fantasies about their future could she have pictured this. As grateful as she is over the fact that she gets to be a mom, getting to see Jake be a dad is a close second. He loves their son so much, and Mac so clearly loves him too, and Amy has to remind herself of the nine months she's spent carrying this child by herself in order not to feel jealous when Mac stops fussing the moment Jake picks him up. He looks so tiny when Jake holds him, the back of his head fitting perfectly in Jake's palm, and the care with which he’s handling him keeps making her emotional. He's always talking to him, sometimes whispers she can't hear and sometimes praise for her which she can, and that makes her cry too. He even chats to him when he changes his diapers, which Amy hides behind the door frame just so she can hear, failing to stifle a giggle when he asks in a fake interrogation voice what Mac has to say to his defense for making such a mess. He wakes up with her in the middle of the night when she has to breastfeed to get her endless glasses of water and granola bars when it makes her feel starving, and then he lets Mac burp him in the face and spit up on the back of his shirt before he falls back asleep curled up on his chest. He leans his chin on the top of Mac’s head to smell that perfect baby scent, running his finger over those cute neck rolls, and the smile on his face when he looks back at Amy makes her completely lose it, because this is what she dreamed of all along.

  This is what she imagined when they visited her brother Christian’s new baby shortly before they got married and Jake spent the better part of an hour making funny faces to the child in his arms. This is what she panicked over when he said he wasn't sure if he wanted kids, because she had always thought. This is what she thought of those nights after another timed round of unenthusiastic sex, trying to keep the hope alight until that single line would once more tell them not this time. She had felt it in his teary smile when she showed him that first positive test, in how hard he'd squeezed her hand at their first ultrasound when their baby’s heartbeat had filled the room, in the absolute joy on his face the first time he’d managed to put his hand on her stomach just in time to feel their son kick, and now it's right in front of her and almost too much for her heart to take.

 She's so tired, and she's sore and overwhelmed and worried about a billion different things, but she's never felt so grateful.

 That's what makes her cry floods at three a.m. when Mac seems to have finished eating and she comes back from the bathroom to find Jake still sitting up with him in bed, holding him with a hypnotised look on his face. He doesn’t even seem tired, even though he must be, is just looking at his son like he’s holding the entire world in his arms and doesn’t ever want to let go. She always knew seeing him with a baby would be incredible, those surprisingly toned biceps curling around a fragile little human and those heart eyes focused on one thing only, but maybe she hadn’t expected not being able to watch it without breaking into tears.

 “Jeez, Ames,” he says when he looks up, the expression on his face changing to one of concern. “Are you okay? Honestly?”

“Yeah,” she sniffles and dries her eyes again as she sits down on the bed. The skin on her cheeks is stinging at this point. “I just can’t believe this is my life.”

“Why not?” Mac’s pacifier glides out of his mouth, and Jake puts it back with two fingers before he can notice anything. “We’re right here, babe. We’re very much real.”

“Sometimes I thought it was never going to happen.” She hiccups. “All the times we’ve been apart. The months we fought to have him. How freaking long and exhausting being pregnant was. And now I have him, and you, and I’m just so grateful I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“That’s why you’re crying?”

“I think I don’t even know why I’m crying anymore. I’m so sleep-deprived.”

“Yeah.” Jake smirks. “But I get it. I’m really, really grateful too.”

 Mac makes a short gurgling sound that Amy takes to mean he agrees. She reaches out so his hand can wrap around her ring finger, feeling him squeezing it tight in the cutest grip. The grey striped pajamas has little mittens on it to keep him from scratching herself, but Mac gets upset whenever they pull them down, so Amy figures they'll just have to keep filing his nails instead. Their son is already both opinionated and stubborn, and she loves it about him, because she loves everything about who he is. He's perfect, and he's hers, and she still can't quite believe it even though he's right there in Jake's arms. It's all her dreams coming true, and it's making all the hard things feel so worth it.

 “Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for giving me a baby,” she whispers. She’s too tired, barely even knows what she's saying anymore, but looking at the two of them, all she can think about is how incredibly lucky and thankful she feels.

Jake blinks in disbelief, grinning at her. “Wait, I gotta make sure I heard this right. Did you just thank me for giving you a baby?”

“Uh-huh?”

“And you're serious about this?”

“Well… yeah.”

“So you mean after nine months,” he says, still wide-eyed, “of you telling me, minimum a couple times a week but pretty much daily toward the end, that I could never understand what you're going through, and then you shouting some lovely descriptions at me whilst you were literally pushing him out, and also earlier this evening when you cried because I can't breastfeed him for you – you’re thanking me?”

“Some of it was a team effort,” she insists. “You helped.”

“Oh yeah, my nards sure are loving the credit.”

“Don't be gross.”

“Sorry.” He smiles, a little bashfully, stroking his fingers back and forth over Mac’s forehead instead of looking at her. “But Ames, c’mon. It was a pretty limited effort compared to what you did.”

“Maybe they’re not the same thing.” She leans her head on his shoulder. Mac is still holding on to her finger, but his grip is getting looser now. “But you were part of it too, babe.”

“Really?” He’s blushing. “What did I do that was so special?”

“Let's see. You didn’t laugh at me when I kept crying at everything the first weeks. Rosa made fun of me on a daily basis, but you just hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay. You let me sleep in when I had days off, even though I pretended I wanted you to wake me up. You fixed food for me without telling me what it was, and put it in front of me before I could feel sick thinking about it.” She shakes her head at the memory of those, few but complicated, weeks, and how hard they’d had to work around it. “You kept telling me I looked great even when my body kept changing and it all felt weird, and helped me pick out maternity wear when I didn’t want to do it on my own. I don’t know that I would have taken barely any bump pictures if you hadn't made me. You listened to all my research about the best strollers and pacifiers and cribs, and you did those courses and read all those books with me, and you came to almost every scan and held my hand so tight every time. You came home with onesies and hats because you thought they were too cute not to buy, and you gave me massages whenever I wanted them, and you even slept on the couch a couple nights at the end when I got angry at you for snoring. You barely even complained about it.”

“I complained a little,” Jake mumbles. “When you couldn’t hear me.”

“Fine. And lastly, you rode a horse through the city to get to me while I was in labor, and you didn’t even act like seeing him be born was gross.”

“I mean, it was a little bit gross.” Jake lifts Mac so he can kiss his forehead when he whimpers. “No offense, bud. I mean you looked perfect, I didn’t think you looked like a slimy alien even for a second, didn’t cross my mind, et cetera.”

“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes. “Point is, babe, you were there. You're here now. I know I did the actual work, but you were the one who made sure I could. I don’t know how I would have made it through without you. So… thank you.”

 He doesn't give her any witty comebacks for that, only a shy smile.

“I love you,” Amy all but whispers through the tears that fight their way through her determination to keep them in. “Both of you. So much.”

“Love you, Ames.”

She kisses him, putting her hands on each side of his thighs so she can reach over Mac. Kissing is a lot more complicated than usual when both his hands are busy and none of them wants to risk crushing their son, but it's still nice, feeling his soft lips on hers and squeezing his lower lip between both of hers for just a moment before pulling apart.

“It's hard to kiss you while you're holding a baby,” she says, and Jake grimaces. “That might be the only bad thing about it.”

“My bad. I’m just going to put him down so we can make out all night.”

“Don't you dare. He currently doesn't have a boob in his mouth and he's still not crying, you're not doing anything to risk that now.” Amy pulls the comforter up to her chin. “Wake me up when he needs to eat again and not a second earlier.”

Jake chuckles at her as she turns out the light and snuggles up close to him, but he makes no move to put Mac down or even protest, and she didn't think it was possible to love him even more. Her heart has definitely grown with becoming a mom, much like everyone told her about, but most seem to have forgotten to prepare her for how much it would also grow when it came to her partner.

 “I still think I’m the one who should say thank you,” Jake whispers just as she closes her eyes, and Amy can't help but smile. “If we're talking about who gave who a baby.”

“Jake, just accept the praise.”

“Oh, yeah.” She doesn't need to see his face to know that he's grinning. “I’ve locked it in a little box in my brain and I’m gonna keep it as gloat material forever, bringing it up when you least expect it.”

“That's great, babe.”

“Mm-hmm. We both know the truth, though.” Jake's left hand strokes over the top of her head, and Amy has to look up to see that Mac is still resting safely on his right arm and doesn't seem to have noticed a thing. Another tear fight its way down her cheek at the thought of how safe he must feel with him. This time, she doesn’t even bother to wipe it away.

 ~

#my writing #b99 #brooklyn nine-nine #peraltiago #jake x amy #b99 fic #b99 fanfiction #no eps this week but i finally finished this haha! #pls enjoy <3 #also thank u niamh and ajit for helps with all the reasons amy would be crying!!! #oh also the three people who voted on the title thank you