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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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Am I the asshole for watching a movie as a family without including my dad? Writing it out, I think I know the answer, but this has still been bugging me.

Around Thanksgiving I (30s) visited home. It was also a trip to see for my mom (late 60s) for her birthday, so I was there for a few days longer than a Thanksgiving trip would normally account for. My brother (30s) and his wife (30s) visited for her birthday too. My dad (early 70s) was there as well. They've been married over 30 years. Originally I'd planned to take everybody out to see a movie as a birthday present for my mom...but it turned out there was literally nothing at the theater that my mom was interested in at all. The town is pretty small, and the options were limited. So instead, we started out with a nice dinner, and family board game run-through of a trivia game we all thought we'd have some fun with. My mom ended up winning, which is rare and was not deliberate, and it wrapped the game up way faster than we'd anticipated.

My dad immediately went back into the living room after the game ended, openly a little annoyed that mom had won a trivia game based on something he considers himself the family expert in. He watches old reruns of the show he's seen a million times on a loop every day, and it can be pulling teeth to get him to do anything else. It was just a fluke, but something the rest of us considered a pleasant surprise since none of us had expected she'd win. But he was annoyed. Given that it was still early, Mom suggested we find a movie to watch online, so we could all wind down before bed with something the whole family could enjoy.

Dad said no. Now this feels like important context: I...have a lot of problems with my dad. I love him, but he can be extremely emotionally immature. Downright verbally abusive at times. And very petty. I'm in therapy in no small part due to some of the insecurities he instilled in me over the years. I've worked hard to set basic boundaries with him. He also has multiple medical issues, and I'm pretty sure he has untreated depression and other mental health problems he refuses to acknowledge that contribute to him flying off the handle at a moment's notice. That, combined with the fact that my mom will 100% never, ever leave him, because she was raised in a very specific mindset that she's never been fully able to shake...means my brother and I usually have to grit our teeth when he starts ranting/yelling/complaining during a visit, or we'd just end up ruining the day for our mom. She's done so much for us, and we just wanted her to have a good visit. So, that's what I did for most of the trip. I breathed deep when my dad openly mocked my stutter, and refused to get in a fight about it. I stopped myself from getting visibly upset when he tried to feed my cat table scraps even when I told him the cat needs a special diet. On other days I tried to watch his old shows with him, and ignored the sexist comments he'd make about the female leads, all for the sake of keeping the peace.

But, it was Mom's birthday. And she wanted to watch a movie.

And Dad said no.

He refused to give up his marathon of old westerns from 60 years ago to watch a new movie with his family on the big tv in the living room.

My mom seemed disappointed, so I suggested we watch one on my laptop in the kitchen instead. Without my dad, if he really wanted to watch his show instead. She agreed, and my brother, his wife, my mom and I filed into the kitchen, sat in less-than-comfy chairs, and watched a fantasy heist film that I'd thought they would all enjoy. And they did. My brother was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the movie (I'd already vouched for it being good, none of the others had seen it previously) His wife kept making notes for her dnd campaign. My mom found it hilarious, and liked that some actors from another show she liked were in it.

My dad stayed in the living room, watching his marathon.

Partway through the movie, he came in and asked us what we were watching. We told him, and he passed through the kitchen for something he needed, then said that we were being too loud. More context: the kitchen is right next to the living room, but my dad turns the tv up so loud in there it can get physically painful to be in the room with him. He refuses to get hearing aides, and only recently relented on subtitles. He also has a habit of screaming at anyone who tries to talk for a long time when his shows are on and they're in earshot, even if they're in a different room. We thought he couldn't hear it over his tv, and so when he said something we said sorry and that we'd try to keep it down, but we could already barely hear it through the laptop speakers. We already had subtitles turned on to make sure we didn't miss anything. When we told him that, he got even more annoyed. He asked how we'd like it if he turned the tv up so loud we couldn't understand anything, then proceeded to go into the living room and do just that, just as I was trying to figure out how much more we could lower the volume without losing our whole experience. We called in that we were already turning it down, and he finally turned his volume back down as well. We finished our movie, turning the volume down during action scenes and up during speaking scenes so we could actually hear the dialog. We enjoyed the rest of the film, and then people started getting ready for bed, and my mom went to check on my dad. She told me a few minutes later that he was hurt that we'd watched the movie without him. That he felt left out. I told her that he'd had multiple opportunities to join us, and that is was his choice not to watch with us. And honestly, the fact that he wouldn't give up the real tv for a couple hours so she could have a birthday movie was really upsetting to me.

She still seemed to feel bad that he was left out, and I'm a little worried that he might've sulked for days afterwards, leaving my mom in an even more stressful environment after I left. Am I the asshole for insisting my mom get to watch a movie on her birthday? And would I be the asshole if I told my dad off for what I consider to be extremely selfish behavior?

Also before anyone asks, no, I'm not cutting him off. It's literally impossible to do that without pretty much cutting off my mom as well, and she absolutely doesn't deserve that. And yes, I've offered up my apartment as a place she can stay if she ever needs to. Repeatedly. She hasn't taken me up on it yet.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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h-y-dontatme · 2 months

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Obey Me! Reaper Headcanons Pt 3

More nonsense but to be honest I'm starting to run out of headcanon material. If anyone has reaper-thoughts, send them my way, I'd love to see them I need more please help.

If you want more: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Reapers, through a combination of their personality, talents, and specializations, come to embody different aspects and circumstances of death. It's more of a consequence of their taste in prey than a conscious choice.

Grimm, the original Reaper, has come to represent the passage of time, of which no one can escape, including himself. In his immense old age, he enjoys warm weather, sand, and lecturing the youth. Secretly delights in dropping bad news while letting sand slip through his fingers really it’s quite rude, can’t you give this conversation the gravitas and attention it deserves no I don’t think time heals all wounds I-

Thirteen is associated with bad luck, unfortunate coincidences, superstition, and over-confidence. Sure, she’s got some… interesting trap names but that’s no reason to let your guard down around a Reaper. Many a prideful demon/human have fallen victim to her craft.

Common aspects of death include accidents, malice, jealousy, unforeseen circumstances, poor judgement, heartache, and overindulgence. Less common are curiosity, despair, madness, zealotry, and sacrifice.

They find their little niche, like finches on a tropical island, cause, as it turns out, there are only so many souls.

Most Reapers pick up a hobby or two to make ends meet. From tapestry weaving to sword blacksmithing, Reapers have drawn from both the Celestial Realm and Devildom to make some truly wicked pieces of art & engineering. Grimm makes those sand art desk decor things.

Did you really think Muramasa was human? Did you know Excalibur was Reaper-made too?

Speaking of swords, let’s talk scythes cause it’s an associate that Reaper’s haven’t been able to shake for the past handful of millennia. It’s flashy, it’s big, it’s impractical, and it’s a big neon sign telling every human, demon, and angel that a Reaper is around.

Some Reapers love love love the attention. Most of the time those are the Reapers you don't have to worry much about. Thirteen hasn't used one since (whatever constitutes as a Reaper's) teenage years, having way more fun success with traps. Other Reapers end up making themselves a more suitable weapon, or discard of it entirely, preferring the arcane arts or their god-given hands.

Personalization is the name of the game for Reapers.

I got a Reaper OC that I want to release into the world. I do have a brother I ship her with, but I much prefer thinking of her as another secondary character. There were two of every other transfer student, and I think Thirteen needs a friend.

#obey me #obey me reapers #obey me headcanons #obswd #obey me! shall we date?

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lykegenia · 3 months

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Happy Valentine’s Day, lovely person 🌹

I love your writing so much (your Nate! And Leah!) and am so happy you’ve started sharing more about Rhi and Mason as well. And whenever you share your thoughts, they are always so well-though out and interesting to read!

Here’s a romance-themed OC question for any OC(s) of your choosing (no pressure to answer on Valentine’s day itself, or at all):

What combination of random objects would your OC use to describe their LI? What do they represent? Bonus question: What would their LI use to describe them?

Dearest Nonny, you have no idea what a delight it was to wake up to this message this morning. Thank you so much for such kind words, it's one of the best feelings to know my characters are loved 🌹

For the OC question...

Objects Leah would use to describe Nate:

A fountain pen, but like, a really fancy one made of tortoiseshell and ebony and gold wire - not only do charming words seem to flow easily from him, but there's a certain elegance in his hands and a lightness of touch that matches the finesse required to use a fountain pen properly (she could never master it). It's also slightly old-fashioned, but there's potential for change as well with special inks or new designs like those glass nibs, which he would probably appreciate even if he was a bit dubious at first.

A cashmere blanket - soft and comforting and cozy (and expensive, because Nate would never compromise on quality). Something that she doesn't necessarily need or was missing before it came into her life, but woe betide you if you try to take it away from her. She's snuggled and comfortable now.

A star chart - not just for his naval background, or his penchant for deep thinking, but because people have always used the stars for guidance. She never really had a direction before UB came into her life, but now she does, and the feeling of looking up into the vastness of the night sky is very reminiscent of the rare mornings where she can wake up before Nate and watch him still sleeping.

Nate for Leah:

A (European) magpie feather - elegant but understated and unassuming, from an intelligent but often overlooked/maligned bird, until you look at it from the right angle and the plain black shimmers into brilliant irridescence. He once listened to her talk for an hour about how structural colours evolved in birds, and wishes she could appreciate that complex beauty in herself.

A lit candle - staring down the darkness of eternity often seemed unbearable at times. There were previous sparks, but nothing to provide the steady light that Leah provides him. The sweet smell of beeswax meant it was used to create church candles in the medieval period, and being close to her certainly feels holy, the flame bright and warm but with a bite if you're not careful. But at the same time, it's precious, because eventually the flame will burn down and go out, and the memory of it will be all that's left.

An arrow - it flies straight and true and pierces its quarry without mercy, and that's what Leah is like in the pursuit of justice. There are also so many stories where arrows are a symbol of devotion, from St Sebastian to Cupid, and he likes the imagery of himself as an Arthurian white stag finally brought down by a strike to the heart.

Bonus Mason and Rhi:

"What the fuck kind of question is that? Rhi's not an object, and if I wanted to describe her, I'd just say she's hot." "Charming." "Don't hear you contradicting me." "Well I know what kind of object you are." "Oh?" "You're one of those metal ring puzzles you get in Christmas crackers that are fun for the first few minutes before everyone gets sick of it." "I like to think it'd take more than a few minutes to get bored of playing with me, Sweetheart." "And you even come with a terrible joke - do not respond to that." "Wouldn't dream of it."

#rhi doesn't mean it #much #she's just surprised mason didn't compare her to a cigarette or something #but fun fact #cigarettes are something he can live without now #he's going to go away and think about this for a week and come up with a really prodfound answer out of context #meanwhile leah and nate are out here falling deep into the romance of it all #i apologise to anyone who hasn't experienced christmas crackers #i got carried away #the wayhaven chronicles #nate sewell #twc mason

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microfinanseer · 1 year

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Top Ten: Seattle, Washington Edition

While saying farewell to really great people and places these last few weeks, I was reminded of how we arrived in Seattle. We knew few people. We got here with wide open eyes, hearts, and minds! We soaked up everything and took every chance to explore and meet new people at every turn. We often hear from Seattle friends (those born here or living here a long time) that we have done more while living here than most people here do. And it sure feels like that is true. We've been to just about every corner of the state and experienced all kinds of subcultures. It has been an amazing time.

I know I'm leaving with a much better understanding of life in the Pacific Northwest. What a different kind of place it is compared to anywhere I've lived before. I knew I'd learn some lessons here as I do anywhere I go, but I never imagined how much I'd learn in these last 6 years. Firstly, I was surprised at how easy it was to settle out here. We felt welcomed by so many and at ease quickly. And even the challenging times have worked themselves out. I'm grateful we survived a pandemic mostly unscathed, I got justice and won a lawsuit against an abusive employer, and that we both healed from injuries along the way. We made such incredible friends I'm going to miss so much, though I know we'll stay connected. I knew this wouldn't be a final destination, but I didn't realize how bittersweet it would be when we decided to leave. We've enjoyed our time here a lot more than I thought possible.

Special thanks to friends from places we've lived before for making the trip out to visit. We heard more wanted to get out here (and we know, it is far), but only a handful made it. We loved hosting you and showing you the places we fell in love with here. With that in mind, here are my top 10 highlights. Things I loved and learned since moving here in 2017:

Mountains - I never lived anywhere with any around, and didn't appreciate how beautiful they are. To drive around the city or glance out of our apt. and be able to see Rainier and the surrounding Olympics and Cascades was such a majestic gift everyday that never got old.

Seaplanes - I loved them from the moment I heard and saw their little bodies flying through the air. I still stop to watch them as they go by wherever I am. They still make me smile. I will miss them.

Special foods (west coast salmon, Rainier cherries, and a good, dry cider) - I never cared for salmon much before, but got out here and realized what a delicious fish they can be. We enjoyed some great seafood, and the best salmon sandwiches ever in Seattle. I don't think I'd ever had a Rainier cherry, but now can't imagine summer without them. PNW's best kept fruit secret. And while I don't care for beer much, dry cider has become one of my favorite drinks, especially on the (very) rare, hot days.

Microclimates - I have lived in rainy, tropically stormy, and hyper frigid places before. But generally when a season arrived, you knew what to expect day-to-day for months at a time. However, in Seattle I learned what it was to turn off a road and experience a whole different season in a few minutes' time. And I always heard this was because Seattle sits in a very interesting place between the two mountain ranges around us. Fascinating to navigate microclimates. And talking about convergence zones is a whole other discussion!

Hygge - This Nordic concept of "coziness" is definitely handy during the darkest winter days. I leaned on it often through finding the best lighting combinations, soft candles, and enjoying incense that smelled of spice or woods to make home feel more comfortable. I had never heard of this concept by a name, though can appreciate the approach to enduring winters. But I will always think of it now when someone is trying to describe ways to make a place feel more comfortable.

La Connor - My favorite town in Washington State. Period.

Diversity in landscapes - from mountains to rainforest to the ocean and beaches to desert all in one state!

Short, cool summers - My second summer here I was admittedly a little homesick for the hot, humid summers of my youth. It was great not to sweat through clothes all summer long as is typical on the east coast, especially the south. But there is something still odd to me about not being warm enough to swim outside or in the ocean that is all around us here. And I never got into trying out lakes, which are very abundant here too. I realized I need more sun and heat than the PNW will ever be able to afford me.

Sofia - Amidst so much natural beauty, it’s hard to ignore. Being here has made me appreciate nature so much more, even hiking and camping more than I ever did - though not nearly as often as B would’ve liked, I'm sure. But while living here, I started to look around more at the trees, listened to the birds more closely, and watched the sky and clouds more intently. There is a slower pace here that allowed me to literally pay more attention. So thanks for that too, Seattle. And you know how much I love and will likely miss my favorite tree friend ever, Sofia. A twist on what Dorothy said to the Scarecrow: I'll miss her most of all the natural beauty I've encountered.

Music everywhere/laid back attitude - The amount of live music and music venues here is incredible! What a joy it was to be able to see so many of my favorite bands and check out new ones at one of the dozens of venues around town every year. Also the laid back way of life made going to shows and enjoying all things around town even more. I love how people don't typically ask what you do for a living here, as they often do where I grew up, but instead people ask what you enjoy doing on your time off. Jobs, even the ones you love, are a means to an end. In my view, that end is to live your best personal life with as many of the people you care about around you. That's what matters.

So here's to live music, welcoming vibes, trees, and dynamic natural beauty! Thank you Seattle, Washington for everything.

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lorenagzlz · 1 year

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Bringing out the joy of an event in a poster.

Two weeks ago, like the Breton woman that I am, I went to the biggest fest-noz in the world: Yaouank. A fest-noz is basically a Breton festive gathering, where you can find happy Breton people dancing in circles and listening to traditional music. Yaouank is, as said before, the biggest fest-noz in the world. It has taken place in Rennes every year since 1999; Yaouank in Breton means young, a very appropriate name for this event. Yaouank unites young and old people around our musical traditions. But these traditions are flourishing: traditional music, like we used to know it, is still played, but now, more bands are experimenting with electronic music combined with Breton traditional music and even older people listen to these new forms of music; the Breton culture brings us together! This time it was the third time I'd gone to this incredible fest-noz, the first time was very special because I had had the opportunity to play on stage with the band I play in, the Bagad Sonerien Bro Dreger. A typical music group of Brittany, where bagpipes, drums and Breton reed instruments play together. This time, I understood how much this event is anticipated. Each year, we impatiently wait to see the new poster and the announcement of this wonderful festival. (I didn’t mention that Yaouank lasts for one week and is concluded by a big fest-noz.) This year I almost missed the announcement, and I was surprised when I discovered the new poster.

Since 1999, the poster has always been built on the same atmosphere (except the very first one) always a couple of Breton dancers. I bet it is the same illustrator who did all the illustrations from 2000 to 2021. But I've always wanted to know who it was, but this person remains difficult to find. I think these posters fit perfectly with the festival, they bring everyone together, they exude joy and happiness. They’re bright, colorful, and the way the information is laid out around the illustrations creates rhythm and motion.

Even if the illustrations are not what I like the most, they create a special feeling, which allows me to experience what Yaouank will be like, a great night of fun, dance and meeting. These posters are like a benchmark. They are a major topic of discussion in my circle, because every time, we end up picking up a poster in the street and putting it up at home. Everyone agrees to say that they are really cool and have become a material memory, just like our plastic cup (in which beer was drunk, and we obviously keep how many secret).

But this year, the visuals changed. And not for the best. My friends and I were really surprised when we discovered the poster, and it didn’t look like what we had expected. Obviously the graphic designer for this poster is a new one. Edern Olivier-Jégat is the graphic designer, and he is currently a Doctor in maritime history, but he has developed an interest in graphic arts and created illustrations for the cultural fields. He eventually joined L’Usinerie Production, a management and booking agency specializing in Breton music bands. What strikes me the most is the atmosphere we get when we take a look at the poster. It doesn’t bring out happiness. The colors are dull, the layout doesn’t bring as much rhythm and motion as the old posters did. The date is barely legible, pink on a purple background. I miss the old posters…

When we arrived on site two weeks ago, the visuals struck me once again, and I repeated that I didn’t like them. But after that quick thought, we entered the dance floor and everything was as colorful and bright as it used to be on that night at Yaouank. The only thing that changed this year is that my friends and I didn’t fight to get a poster of this year’s edition.

04/11/2022 3682 types

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gingermintpepper · 3 years

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After thinking it over for a bit, I've decided that I might as well do a proper underrated 3DS game rec list. I'm a bit of an ATLUS junkie and that's gonna be pretty disgustingly apparent in this list, but it's not my fault that they released hit after hit and all of them were duly ignored.

Due to tumblr's 10 image limit (and my struggle to keep motivated to do one thing for more than three hours) I'm definitely gonna have to break this up into parts and I'm fairly certain one of these lists is just gonna be MegaTen games lmao but I'd like to let people know about these excellent titles and see if I can't at least get people interested in them so they can get more traction.

So, without further ado:

Some 3DS Games that were criminally slept on (part 1)

Monster Hunter Stories

God, where do I begin with this game. Well, the basics: It's a JRPG spinoff title of the now widely successful and popular Monster Hunter series featuring a different take on interacting with the varied and intricate monsters populating the world: Riders.

Yep, instead of hunting the beasties, you play as a young rider who's completed their intiation ritual and can now bond with 'Monsties' as they've cutely labelled the usually ferocious monsters of the wilds. The great thing is that you still fight Monsters--tons of them in fact but this isn't a paid review and in my humble opinion, the most impressive thing about this game is the visual style. The landscapes, the armour, the way they redesigned and 3DS-ified the classically hyper realistic and monstrous beasts to not only be absolutely adorable but still capable of being intimidating when the time calls for it, the stellar animation of special moves and combination attacks--it's delicious, nutritious, stupendous, I can and will consume it like it's part of my recommended caloric intake.

It's very akin to Pokemon in the way its basic gameplay premise is set up, however, instead of catching--or even indeed befriending--the Monsties in the game, you rummage through their nests and steal their eggs, later hatching them and getting yourself a brand new lightly kidnapped monster pal!

Other general things about the game:

Pros:

The armour and weapon sets for both male and female characters slap along with the general character customisation options. They're incredibly diverse (though limited in body type) and you can switch around traits and features whenever you want from your house.

The POGS--these porkers are everywhere and they serve as tiny little achievements for exploring every odd and end of the world. Also they have little outfits. They're so cute. 🥺🥺

You can actually ride the Monsties. All of em. Or, at least the ones that you have available to be your buddies. They all have exploration skills and traits that not only make exploring much more interesting but encourage you to swap out your active Monstie and play around with your options a bit.

Y'all breeding Monsties is complicated and I live for just how intense and ridiculous you can get with optimal builds for these things.

The story is really competently put together! The characters, character designs and even the internal conflict with your starting trio of characters is really compelling along with the mystery of the blight that's infecting Monsters across the world. It's not anything worth awards but it's compelling and it makes you care about the characters if that's what you're in the market for.

Amazing sound design, expansive world, everything about the presentation of this game oozes that Monster Hunter charm even if the art is cutesier than usual. You'll never get bored of its stellar visual presentation!

Available for around twenty quid on the Google Play store, so if you want, you could actually get the full game on your smartphone or tablet. Note though that it would be a battery nuker.

Cons:

If you're on a regular 3DS, frame rate drops are a given. This game kinda pushes the visual capabilities of the 3DS to its absolute limit--a lot like Okamiden did back on the DS.

One save file :( It's pretty much for the same reason as above but still.

If you're playing as the girl, you can't get male armour and vice versa. Since there's only one save file, you'll never be able to have all of the armour sets in a single playthrough and that's criminal because both of the sets for the genders are absolutely breath-taking, thank you.

I 👏can't 👏make👏my👏 own 👏Palico👏

Multi-player for this game is pretty dead seeing as it's almost five years old by now and never got much press or traction. Usually this wouldn't be an issue - this game is 99% singleplayer and you don't really need to fuss about with multi-player to have fun, but if you want to collect all the Monsties, you'll need it since the only way to get Glavenus is through pvp achievements. :/

Final thoughts: Play it if you find yourself getting tired or disappointed with 3DS Pokemon games but still want something that feels as fantastical as Pokemon. It outshines the 3DS Pokemon games at every turn and I will never be over just how thoughtfully put together and fully realised these games are. Of course, if you've ever played Monster Hunter, then you know just how intensive these games are with the lore, biology, cultures and world of their Monsters but seeing that translated into JRPG format was just very sobering and it's a game that, to this day, continues to awe me with just how much love and attention went into it.

Last note: If you're still unsure about it, there's a demo available on the e-shop of the 3DS that allows you to play through the entire initial area of the game. Your data does carry through to the full release and to give you an idea of how much I've been able to squeeze out of it - my playtime for that demo is currently sitting at 22 hours. Make sure to get a hold of that Cyan-Kut-Ku!

7th Dragon III Code: VFD

The title may sound intimidating but the premise is not! A mysterious disease called Dragon Sickness spread by the Dragonsbane flowers that have cropped up all around the world. You and your team are recruited by the Nodens game company after you display extraordinary prowess in their hit virtual reality game 7th Encount. As you go through the adventure, you are tasked with finding out the truth behind the Dragon Sickness and asked to stop both it and the Dragons that are destroying the world.

This game is fun. It's another turn-based JRPG however, in this game you create all of your characters yourself from the myriad of classes available to you from the jump. Different classes of course have very different specialisations - Samurai focus on high powered cutting damage with their swords, Duelists are summoners who can influence the element of the battlefield as well as summon monsters from each element, Agents can hack into your enemies and inflict a barrage of nasty ailments, just to name a few - and you are given three teams of three characters each to experiment with different team comps and find the balance that works for you. There's also a wide variety of Dragons to hunt and kill in the game, which directly affects how infected your world is with the Dragon Sickness causing Dragonsbane. Along the way you will also come into contact with many interesting characters, concepts and confrontations that will make the task of saving the world all the more imperative.

Pros

1. The character creator and differing classes give way for tons of experimenting and playing around with your own unique approach to combat and carrying out your missions. Granted, 'character creation' is generous, it's little more than palatte swaps but the classes are really where VFD shines. Eight main classes may not sound like a lot, but the expaniveness of the character skills, their synergy with their fellow classes and the uniqueness of some of the classes in and of itself allows for so much flexibility and creativity in approaches to even tougher bosses. It also encourages the switching about of your party members to really finagle with the options available to you.

2. God this game is pretty. The locations, the character art, the creature design - all of it is gorgeous and this game capitalises on every bit of the 3DS's presentation limitations as it can.

3. You can romance anything and everyone - yes, you can even be gay/lesbian/poly in this game. In fact, one of the main characters - Julietta - is gnc and he's a constant source of joy as well one of my personal favourite characters, right behind Yuma.

4. Exploration is very very forgiving as the game has healing spots and teleport nodes all over the world to allow for quick, seamless travel between quest points without feeling like anything is too much of a hassle. There are also special enemies that allow for quick grinding as well as quick farming of money. In general, the game does a really good job of making sure that the grind is never unbearable or inconsiderate of your time.

Cons:

1. This is the fourth game in a series the West has never seen any other title for, and from the looks of it, will probably never see any other titles for. Because of that, there are some elements that may seem confusing or revelations in the plot that may seem to come out of nowhere.

2. While the visuals are great, the OST of this one is pretty short making for a lot of reused soundtracks that can get really annoying if you're like me and need your audio to be interesting or consistent so it doesn't distract you too much.

3. This one isn't really a con but it is divisive: This game gets pretty difficult at times. A few of the main dragon enemies including and especially the final boss can give you a serious run for your money in the annoy-o-meter in terms of the kind of absolute JRPG fuckery they can pull out of their magic bag of bullshit movesets and while I generally enjoy that kind of thing, I know it's not for everyone. Most regular combat shouldn't be too tricky once you have a team comp that works well together but you also need to pay attention since the same team that carries you to victory one time might be worth beans against another dragon.

Final thoughts: This is... a really good game. Interesting story, really interesting characters, pretty world and a battle system that really makes you sit down and think. There's also a demo for this available in the e-shop and while your data doesn't carry over - you do receive multiple perks for carrying over your demo data including some exclusive items that, while not game breaking, do help a ton in the early stages of the game.

This isn't a final list by any stretch of the word; I only have the energy to do these two right now, but the next games up for coverage are Ever Oasis and Stella Glow! If you're interested in my full plan of games I want to cover here then my current lineup includes: Theatrhythm: Curtain Call, Project Mirai: Deluxe, Culdecept Revolt, Alliance Alive, Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology, Etrian Odyssey V, Devil Survivor 2: Record Breaker and Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse.

Finally, if anyone has played any of the games I mention, cover or plan to cover PLEASE REACH OUT TO ME, I AM SO LONELY IN MY FORTRESS OF SAND. On a serious note, I'd love to hear what other people who've played these games think!

Thanks for reading,

-Ginger

PS: @feralpeacock Because a million years ago, on my first underrated games post, you asked that I remember you. :D

#ginger rambles #ginger talks about video games #monster hunter stories #monster hunter #code dragon iii vfd #video games #3ds #underrated games #These take so much energy to make holy shit #There are so many more amazing 3ds games I could talk about #But I legit just don't have the braincells for #Also I know Apocalypse probably has the biggest audience that played it out of all the games listed #But it's criminally underrated because it was different #So it's probably going to get it's own little review thing #Yeehaw

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zombiiesque · 3 years

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Nocturne Alchemy Halloween 2019 - Part Two

Originally published 10/10/2019

Hey y'all! Gonna dive right into these scents, today I'm reviewing the Resurgence scents that I have from the Nocturne Alchemy Halloween LC release. If you'd like to read my reviews of the new releases I chose, you can click here. NAlloween has always, and likely always will, be my favorite Limited Collection they do! I have so many treasures in my Halloween box.

Scarlet Bat - Red Sugar, Crimson Musk, Black Tea Leaves, Neroli-sugar, and NA Black Patchouli Absolute. Okay, my friend Heather picked this one up before I did last year, and she fell head over heels for it. I was already eying it, because I had two previous Vampire Patchouli Bats that I loved, and it had Crimson in it. It had to be a gimme. Like this year's Vampire Bourbon Patchouli Bat, it was a stunner right out of the mail - and it's only gotten better as it ages. Seriously, it's utterly fabulous. Slinky and sexy, and I think even if you ordinarily don't like patchouli, you might find yourself surprised by this one. Put simply, this is sugared red musk and patchouli. Crimson is a softer red musk than Kashmir, but there's almost a spiciness to it. This just warms up on the skin and reaches out, pulls you in. I crave this one when I haven't worn it in a while. For me, my two favorites of the Vampire Patchouli Bats are the Bourbon, and Scarlet. Neither is to be missed. And I don't find it to be like anything I have in my collection, either.

V by Thoth - Incense, Sweetened spices of Cardamom, Cinnamon, Allspice and clove swirled with Vanilla pods, Ghost Musk and Copal Resin. V was a fan favorite last year - and for good reason. It's part of a set of 7 perfumes, each one designed by a House of NA perfumer. I remembered that I have another favorite Halloween perfume that Thoth did: Frank's Monster. I love that one, so I was pretty excited when I saw V was done by Thoth, too. Y'all, I have a lot of incense perfumes. They're something I just can't resist. Okay, confession time: I did love this one, I thought it was a beautiful perfume, but I didn't really get it until I pulled it back out after aging it over the year. I thought I perhaps had similar perfumes...well. I was wrong. I tried it again a few weeks ago, when the weather started to cool down here in Florida, and it absolutely floored me. It was like I was experiencing a whole new perfume - this is positively SPECTACULAR. Very, very different from my other incense perfumes, and it might just be my favorite yet. I don't know what Ghost Musk is, but if it's that beautiful musk I'm smelling here, I could go for a full 10ml bottle of it. It reminds me a bit of Egyptian Musk, but not quite as sweet - very clean, and very appealing - floaty. I think that's it, and if so....Y'ALL, PLEASE MAKE THIS I WANT IT! Hahaha. I think I might like Ghost Musk better than Cemetery Musk, and I love that one too. Anyway - I'm dwelling. This is balanced against a light incense, and the spices are very much in the background, just a nice warm hum of support. But the copallll. I'm sure everyone knows copal rules my world, when we discuss favorite notes. It adds a lovely smoky, slightly sweet depth to this. I'm fully mesmerized. Thoth has outdone himself. I think this is backup worthy. So, a lesson to be had here, and one I realize quite often - if you don't really love something, put it aside for a while, and see what happens when you return to it. And I want to reiterate, I really did like this - but I didn't see, last year, what I was supposed to see with it - aging it and trying it when the weather was a little cooler and dryer really changed my perspective of it, and now it's become an obsession and a Halloween favorite. If you were looking at this one and wondering if you need it - let me ask, do you like musk and incense? If so, you'd better run and get this before it goes away.

The Mummy Returns - Patchouli, Vetiver, Australian Sandalwood, Cardamom, Frankincense, Myrrh, Rock Rose, Labdanum, Siam Benzoin and Tonka Bean. I made a little mistake, and it's the first time I've ever done this. I usually have a solid idea of what I have in my boxes, particularly my Halloween box, but I ordered The Mummy Returns this year thinking I missed it last year, but after my order came in, I was digging into my Halloween box and pulled out....an aged bottle of The Mummy Returns. Yep. So I'll be putting up my new one for swap. At any rate, it just really proved to me about the differences aging makes in Nocturne Alchemy's perfumes, so I kind of enjoyed realizing the contrasts! The Mummy Returns is a resin lover's dream. It's a deep, dark, witchy scent. I love the balance between the sweeter notes, like the myrrh and cardamom, and the woods. I'm writing this based on my aged bottle, and it's just so....well, at the risk of sounding dramatic, it's deep and mystical, and I'll probably be using this for my rituals, I feel such a connection to it. I couldn't tell you how, but it's something I've smelled before - there's some memory I haven't tapped into yet. I find it to be comfortingly familiar, but at the same time, it feels solemn and sacred. If you are nervous of vetiver, as I am sometimes, it's not a note that stands out a lot here, I can barely discern it when I'm huffing at my wrists. So yes, The Mummy Returns is quite an intense experience for me, but I definitely would recommend this in a heartbeat if you, too, love resinous, woody scents with a little sweetness to them. It's a beautiful perfume. It lasts quite a long time on the skin, too - more than eight hours, and I would say it's on the stronger side, so try it sparingly at first, unless you love to slather like I do.

A Change of Heart – Copal Resin, Shiraz Wine accord, Kashmir Absolute, Indian Oudh, Leather accord and burning embers. This bottle actually was gifted to me by my friend Heather. When I first got it, the leather seemed a little loud on my skin - and that made me nervous, because I was thinking it would be more like Hokum, which is a snuggly, sueded leather. But I figured I'd put it away, and let it age - and it would probably balance itself out. Well, that's exactly what happened. This is one of those scents that you can identify the various notes, if you're familiar enough with them - but they compliment each other so well, they're seamless together. It's definitely a chilly day scent, I did try to wear it in the summer and I don't recommend that - it just doesn't do well in the humidity of Florida. But it's great throughout fall and winter - like the leather in Hokum, this is a snuggly, easy to wear leather, and the copal, wine, and red musk of Kashmir just meld together so well. The wine is sweet, and a nice foil - definitely not a sharp note. I do love the way NA does their wine notes. I'm actually kind of wanting to pick up She Could Raise The Dead, which also features a wine and leather combination - reviews are really intriguing for that, too. And I have totally fallen for both Hokum and A Change Of Heart, so I think I might need it! The copal is of course my favorite note ever - it's a little sweet, sticky, and resinous - and also a bit smoky. This really accentuates the smoky oudh when it starts to shine in long drydown. I'm not sure I am doing this one justice - it really is unusual, and striking. Leather was a death note for me previous to NA - I simply could not wear it. If I tried to put on a perfume that had leather as a note, it would take over on my skin - and I couldn't get away from it. But these soft leathers (vegan, by the way!) that Nocturne Alchemy uses are very wearable for me, and I really am enjoying being able to wear it!

Pirate Rum - Bay Rum and a Chypre of Lavender, Chamomile, Pirate Ship Cedarwood and Siberian Fir Needle with a touch of French Vanilla and Oak. I got this one for my fiance, as the notes reminded me a bit of his beloved Ghost Ship. I can only give you a brief impression of this as to how it smells on him, but I thought someone might be interested in hearing that, so I'm including it! So on him, the bay rum is a nice, round spicy scent. If you're thinking Old Spice, push that right out of your head - this is dark and sexy, and nothing like that old standby. Much more complex and well done. The woods in this are the perfect balance against the bay rum, and the chypre is clean, but not at all feminine, so don't let that lavender scare you. I love this on him. Long drydown is a deep, warm spice against weathered, well aged wood. Very appealing! I tried a drop on me, and it's very different with my skinistry. I get a lot more of the chypre and chamomile, the spice of the bay rum is sedated a bit. I think it might come out more with age, if you wanted to wear it as a unisex scent, though. It is there, it's just not as evident as it was on him. The wood notes are gorgeous - I loooove that fir and cedarwood against the slightly herbal chypre on me. I will say, I much prefer this on him right now.

And a bonus - Halloween 2020, which was given out as a sample with orders for this release. It's also available in the All Hallows' Eve section as part of the Permanent Collection, so if you love this, you can even get a big 10ml bottle! Notes: A special All Hallows’ Eve blend of 7 Sandalwoods (Hawaiian, Indian, Australian, New Caledonia, Indian Santalum Album, Karnataka Sandalwood, African Sandalwood (Baphia Nitida), Cardamom essential oil, Clove essential oil, Bourbon Vanille Absolute, Bastet Amber Absolute, smoked sandalwood infused with oak and pine smoke in the NA Studio. There was also a beautiful frosted black bottle, a special edition, along with Halloween 2018 and Halloween 2019, in frosted red and orange bottles, in the Halloween LCs this year. I had a feeling I was going to love this one right away - and I do. SEVEN. SANDALWOODS. 7, y'all! Now this will likely change and get even better with age, but my first impression of this? It is like a sister scent to Bastet Halloween 2016, which is one of my favorite PC scents. The spices in that definitely have a similar feel to the cardamom and clove in Halloween 2020, and of course the presence of Bastet Amber, one of my soul scents, is a star here, too. But those sandalwoods. So smooth. I'm making my way through that 2ml sample alarmingly quickly. Right now I'm not getting much of the smoke on my skin, but the clove starts out a little strongly when it's first applied. Once it warms up and sinks into my skin though, the other notes come out to play, and the clove sinks into the background to add a little spicy kick with the warmth of the cardamom. Beautiful for fall, truly. Brings to mind blue, blue skies, bright leaves, wispy white clouds. A fluffy scarf wrapped around your neck as you explore a farmer's market. That's the picture I have in my head when I huff at my wrist. I'll be reaching for this frequently. I can't really differentiate all the sandalwoods, but the blending of them reminds me just a bit of my beloved Pyramid Santalum. I think if you wanted more smoke, you could layer this with Titanosaurus - or if you wanted to really play up the sandalwoods, you could add even more Santalum or Pyramid Santalum, or Pteranodon. Hey, never enough sandalwood, am I right?

And that wraps up the second half of my NAlloween choices. Did you read the first half? What perfumes did you choose from this release? What are your favorites? I'm thinking about going back for one or two more, there are so many that caught my eye!

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bryan360 · 4 years

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Today's the day that I'm showing my next Xbox One game for 2020 added. It's actually a game collection that holds ports of past games and cinematics that remakes other games, but not for playing than to learning it's stories. It also originally made for the PlayStation console before February 2020 that it also released on at least one console. Combining on two collection and would you get was....

Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 + 2.5 Remix

I know, my second Kingdom Heart related game next to Kingdom Hearts 3 on my Xbox One I ever had! With this collection, I can now play the first Kingdom Hearts that orignally released back in 2002 for PlayStation 2. Also for other three; including Birth by Sleep that I have one for my old PSP handheld since 2010s. What a memories of owning a PSP exclusive game before losting it. My thoughts was pretty exciting and unexpected when you consider that I got in Game Pass.

I literally got this Kingdom Hearts Game Collection by using this 14 Day Trial Game Pass that my parents gave me few months ago; including the other side for Xbox Live Gold. Thank goodness I'd censored colored the codes as I've already use them at once, but now I only have 8 days left before til it expires. Meaning that I can't go back playing this game collection without my Game Pass being activate. Don't worry that I'd already one step ahead in this new progress as I'm already in the Wonderland level today. Anyways, how's the reaction to my Animal OCs doing?

🐰🖌Maxwell: Never has being so unexpected when you got this game collection that holds past KH games....with your first Game Pass that you can also install any games for free! Though this one is good enough as well. Nice to take it, man! *Thumbs up*

🐰👊💥May: A combining collection for your Xbox One? That's really lucky of you to have this with your Game Pass you'd got from your parents. As for your progress you told us was alright, but someday you can expect to bring some pics soon why would ya?

🦊⚽️Sam: Congrats having this Kingdom Hearts Game Collection you'd be getting. It's thoughful you still had your interests of RPG action stuff coming up or so you'd heard from you.

Thanks, guys. As for special current someone fan like Heffy?

🦛⚔️🍕Heffy: 😀😊♥️

Mhm....Though so. =)

Hope every followers and friends would like my latest post, including for Kingdom Hearts fans.

#tumblr post #xbox one #xbox one related post #game reveal #for 2020 #present for 2020 #gift for 2020 #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 1.5 #2.5 remix #game collection #square enix #disney #game pass #pics #photos #july 2020 #july 22nd 2020

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scenarihoes · 5 years

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if you're still doing them, I'd love a scenario for present mic which has a crush on one of the girls that works at the radio station and one day when he arrives she's there alone singing quiet a sexy songs and he notices how great her voice is and how much sexier she makes the song sound

thanks for the request!!!!!!! this is SO cute and i adore present mic hehehe

LET’S GO!

——-

Birds chirp loudly and soar upon the open sky. The sun has yet to even peak over the towering buildings of the city, stars still dancing among the lightening hues of blue and black. If not for the fact that he’d been up all night the previous evening, Hizashi was sure he’d have taken in the early day, sucked in a deep chestful of breath and smiled on the exhale. In his dreariness he can almost appreciate the serenity but with Aizawa’s grumpy tone resonating from the phone tucked between Hizashi’s shoulder and ear, it’s hard to really let loose.

“Remind me why you woke me up?” He grunts, and there’s the sound of shifting blankets.

“Sorry man! I really thought it would go to voicemail,” A loud lions-like yawn escapes him, feet coming to stop at a very familiar radio-station. “You’re usually almost dead around this time.”

“Whatever. What did you want to tell me?”

“I was just gonna leave a simple little message for you to wake up to.”

“Get on with it, then. I’d like to get back to sleep before tomorrow.”

“Alright, alright,” Hizashi tilts his head and secures the phone even tighter as one hand reaches out, catches the door knob and the other shoves the key hastily into the hole. “We’ve got some new systems in the station and I totally forgot to set the damn things up. I went the entire show last night with old goods Shouta!”

“….And?”

“Aaaaaand,” Hizashi stills and shuts his eyes, bracing for impact. “I won’t have time this week to set them up so I’ve gotta get it done before everything else today...” He pauses and shuts his eyes with a cringe. “...I don’t think I can make your coffee run…”

A loud, irritated groan nearly makes him shudder so hard the phone drops. Even though Aizawa can’t see him, the edges of his lips flick upwards in a sheepish smile.

“Come on, man! I can do it tomorrow!”

“I need it today.”

“Wait one more day,” He yowls, shoulders slumping. “I can do it tomorrow, buddy!”

“There’s no point tomorrow when I wanted it today.”

“If it’s so important than why can’t you go get it!”

“Ugh.”

The line falls dead and Hizashi blinks forward at the station door. He doesn’t know if he should be surprised or not- after all, he had told his friend he’d go out and get some of that weird coffee he likes from the store downtown while he was out and about, but to set up the new systems, he knows it’ll throw a pretty hefty wrench in the order of his plans. He’d never make it across town in time with everything else he’s got going on. Three jobs and a week full of errands doesn’t come cheap, after all.

As he shoves the phone into his pockets, a sigh escapes him. Oh well, he’d make up for it some other time. He’d buy double the amount and deliver it to his friends door, practically bust the frame down if there’s no answer. Or maybe he’d just shout Aizawa’s name from outside until the man wanted to knock him out. The usual routine.

The first thing he notices when he pushes the door open is the most obvious: the sound of music. It’s soft but the station is small enough for it to travel fast. The second thing he notices takes a little longer to set in. Compared to the quality of the days prior, the music reaches him so much smoother than it ever had before. Beats rumble in his chest. Languid notes of an American song he recognizes but can’t quite name yet, the gentle thump of vibrations resonating off the tables and walls. The bass is heavy in the medoly and makes him want to dance, but he’s too curious to give in just yet.

From where he stands in the entrance he can already see there sound boards are nearly doubled in size, a dozen more options to play with and another extra few buttons for cheesy special effects.

Which leads to the third thing he notices. Well, realizes, mostly. A mountain of empty boxes stack outside the utulity closet, and his eyes widen.

The systems are already a-go.

Dots connect within his brain, a few words you’d spoken to him earlier in the week.

“Don’t worry about it, Mic,” You’d said with a beaming grin. Cupid must have come around early, since his heart fluttered in his chest like a bird in a glass cage. “You’ve got a lot on your plate. Let me take care of setting up!”

A long grin worms it’s way onto his lips, barring his teeth. In just a few long strides he’s finding the control center, plopping down on the swivel chair and kicking his feet up atop the small desk beside all the sound switches. His fingers interlock, rest on his gut. He could one-hundred percent take his leave, get his things done and even make his best friends day, but…

Then again, when does he ever get some alone time with you?

The bright ‘off air’ sign flashes vibrant red within the hosts cubicle, a ‘hang in there’ poster hastily taped on the wall. You’d gotten it for him with a grin and who was he to break your little heart? He taped it right on and patted it down, beamed down at the cuteness of your smile.

Waiting turns out to be much more boring than he’d anticpated. That combined with the idea that he was going to surprise you was making him restless. You were likely taking time to gather up the wires from the old systems or packing them into storage, completely unawere of his prescense. He’s happy he came by, even if it meant Aizawa wasn’t the happiest camper alive.

Then, a sudden sound of singing urges his broad smile to falter. It takes him back, the lyrics of the song he finally recognized. You’re not humming like you usually are, or murmuring off-beat tunes to whatever songs he was playing at the time. You were singing, belting out note after note like there wasn’t a soul to witness it. Somehow during his time spent around you, one of his most frequent over-night coworkers, he’d never once heard you sing. Surely you’d heard plenty of his voice, but this was something else. Something he never expected.

Vocal range, high notes and low notes perfectly carried…

“…And I know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing…”

You sing the words so softly, no where near upbeat as the original. The way it sounds rolling from your tongue almost feels emotional, if not a tad sensual. In his chair, Hizashi shivers, sits upright and presses his palms to his knees in interest.

Suddenly the utility closet’s door swings open, revealing a flood of dim light and then your figure lingering in the door way. You sway to the beat of the music, eyes half shut in lazy comfort. The tip of your feet meets a box and you nudge it over to clear a path.

“Ever since I left the city you- Got a reptation for yourself now,”

You’ve yet to notice the figure observing you in relative silence. Hizashi’s over the moon and doesn’t even care that he’s likely being creepy just staring.

“Everybody knows and I feel left out,”

He tingles from the tip of his spine all the way down. Never had he thought Hotline Bling of all songs could sound so saucy, especially coming from your lips. It’s almost an opposite to your usually peppy demeaner.

“Girl you got me down, you got me stressed ou- WOAH!”

In that moment he swears he see’s you leap ten feet high. Your clutch yourself and launch backwards, eyes wide, mouth agape, a hot red already painting the tops of your cheeks. Your sudden outburst scares Hizashi as much as his hidden prescense had scared you, and he’s up and moving so quick the swivel chair slams into the sound systems behind him.

“Hey, hey, hey!” He cries. “No need to freak, it’s only me!”

“You scared the absolute hell out of me, Yamada!” Your hands find your chest. “I almost had a heart attack!”

“Aw doll, I didn’t mean to.” Now he feels like kind of a jerk. You’d been so calm just a moment ago…

As you brush your hair back and sigh, regaining composure, you look up at him. “What are you doing here so early?”

“I uh-…” He rubs the back of his head, long blond hair that he kept flattened today spilling between his fingers. “I was gonna set the systems up before friday.”

“I thought I told you I had it under control?”

“You did! I totally forgot, sorry! But we’ve got more pressing matters-“ His hands reach out and grasp your shoulders. “You never told me you could sing!”

Ah, there goes that tomato red all over again. You tense in his grasp. “W-Well, I don’t exactly do it often…”

“Whaaaaat?!” Hizashi let’s you go and spins dramatically, hands to the sky. “You should! You’re amazing, I could really feel it in my soul!”

“You felt Hotline Bling in your… Soul?”

“All beacuse of you! You’re spectacular. Why do you hold your voice hostage from the world?!”

Another wave of flush encases you and he can see the way you advert your eyes, bite your cheek and force a laugh. “Um… I’m kinda shy…”

“All the more reason to put yourself out there,” Once more his hands find your shoulders, but this time, he bends down to your eye level. You struggle to meet his gaze. “In fact, you should join me and some of my good friends for karaoke this saturday.”

“But the show on friday...?”

“Who say’s the part has to stop after the show! Catch some z’s and we’ll go crazy all over again!”

“W-What?!” You gawk, reaching up to wrap your fingers around his wrists. “I-I couldn’t-… Singing along isn’t my thing, sure it’s fun with friends but…”

“You won’t be alone, I’ll sing with you!” Hizashi pulls back and points to himself with two thumbs. “It’ll be a blast! You don’t even really have to sing if you don’t want to, but you should totally come along! It’ll be like some sort of date!”

Upon the dawn of the first second that word leaves his lips, he’s stone. You gape at him.

“I-I mean, it doesn’t have to be a date, m-more like-“ He feels like he’s going to start sweating bullets any minute. “More like a friend date, yknow? Between two friends! Yeah!”

A swift giggle leaves you, and you’re shaking your head. Endearment, he recognizes. It makes him feel cozy on the inside even despite the butterflies beating the hell out of his stomach.

“It’s fine,” You say, but you’re just as shaken as he is. “I-It can be a date. I think it would be fun, even if I don’t sing much.”

“You mean it?!”

“Well, yeah…! It’s kinda hard not to have fun with you.”

“I mean the date! You wanna go on a date with me?”

A giggle escapes you and sounds with the ever playing music in the background. “Of course!”

Hizashi’s world falls right into the place at the exact right moment. Heavens gates split open, angels sing, golden outlines both him and you. His arms, of course, throw over his head in triumphance.

“Yeah!!!!” He cheers. “You gotta sing that song with me, though!”

“Once, and only once.” Cheekily, you glance up at him from your lashes. “… And only if you sing it with me.”

Suddenly you’re pressed flat against his chest, two arms wrapping around you with childlike excitement. You flail but find purchase on holding the back of his shirt, the length of his hair tickling your upper back.

“Alright then,” He sings. “It’s a deal!”

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #imagine #scenario #present mic #yamada hizashi #x reader

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fake-rationality · 5 years

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Thoughts #2

Motivation. A lot of that’s happening on social media these days is about people trying to cope with reality. Most of them have some trouble in family, in their jobs, in finding meaning and on their romatic relationships. Because of that, Twitter, Tumblr and Medium are populated with advice about "how to live". Pseudo-specialists saying you should live, and how organize you life around very simples basid rules that works for them. I don't know about you, but I don't think self-help books are a solution, specially when we have monetary interest involved. I'll lay a couple of reasons for my conclusion, and how a see this general problem of western people psychological problems. I'm no psycologist, so take these thoughts with a grain of salt.

First, we have to recognize the fact that problem will always exist. This a fact about our world and of life. Human values are complex, our brains are complex and the world even more. Neuroscience just started to hack our biology and so far the results are pretty lame. The assumption that psychological problems are solved by chemistry is misguided. We need a combination of interventions and a great realization of things that we can control and things that we don't. And even when we stabilize, the world can punch us in the face with some unexpected event. Being humble about our capacity for control, I guess, is better than trying to interfere directly with biochemistry we don’t understang, at least in cases that are not extreme like schizofrenics.

Between the diagnostic of a problem and the solution, there a whole industry. You know about them: being "positive" about life, Ten Steps To Hapiness, Hippie-Energy-New-Age-Quantum-Something, Medium writers. These charlatans mix tested psychological recomendations with their best new method. In some cases like the AA, it works for unknown reasons. In the rest, we get placebo effects.

To me the most wrong assumption in all these recommendations is the idea that humans need to be fixed. If our values are complex, we need to embrace them. Accept that our reality will be messy, and the solution somethimes won't come easily. I guess for supertitious people, religion brings a little comfort, but in the end, this is just a hack that have being working for thousands of years. Being delusional is a pretty normal state for most of people.

In the case of non-religious people we get really curious consequences. Admiting that supernatural entities don't exist is a very hard thing to swallow, and the result will diverge depending on how the person experienced scientific theories. In one example, we get post-rationality, where very smart people admit that their brains actually enjoy rituals and solticies without being theists. Or in dangerous cases, being an all-out racist. In the majority of cases we get normal atheists.

There is also the emotional component of a cosmopolitan life. Psychological problems happening when people live in unhealthy relations with their family or in public places (schools, work). Like I said before, the world is a complex place, and to grow we need to accept that. Of course, I don’t deny there can be healty development; when institutions expect the psychological differences between persons, a good society can be build. In these cases, we have some countries in Europe, who are ok with raising children and helping people problems without building a prison industry, even though they have people with psychological problems like any other country.

I guess in the macro-scale the institutions have to change with people. New roles meaning new dimensions of freedom to accomodate these changes. However, some institutions are slow, specially in coutries where old-religious interfering in political decisions. In these cases we have bloody conflits. Just think in the Middle East. The most paradoxical thing about Middle East is the assumption that intervetion will help them. Wrong. Intervention in a lot of cases ends badly, specially in cultures that we don't understand.

Coming back to the psychological aspect of the beginning, there is a clear relation between how people try to cope with reality and the public institutions. The place where people live matters much, and sometimes we don't aknowledge that, expecting that pop-psychology steps are the solution. Even when the public space is organized we still can have problems like suicide. But I'de better live in country with freedom than in one without. So we need the condition for people to grow in the first place. After that, it’s case by case.

To end this already long text, if you doubt the force of problems in life, just think about Dostoiévski and Schopenhauer, who make art and philosophy out of their problems. Of course, that dosn't mean we should live crappy lives -- Schopenhauer actually lived a very normal and tedious life -- it only means that some people will, and that's is fact of life.

#psychology #emotions #motivation #thoughts #wondering #art #philosophy #books #book #life #meaning of life

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theapplesweremonitored · 7 years

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Hi there! I had a question. So, I'm on the fence about pro-life/pro-choice. Women's bodies are their own and they should have a say in what happens to them. But...At the same time, they're pregnant with a to-be baby. And I'd really like to see know someone else's view. Like, I said. I'm on the fence and I just want someone else's opinion on the matter. That's, if you don't mind talking about it.

That’s cool, I don’t mind at all! In fact, here’s a few other posts that may be of interest to you and have really shaped my own perceptions.

Tbh, I’m not the most unbiased or, uh, sensitive of people to ask about this, but I suppose that’s the point and I’ll do my best to answer in a way that doesn’t devolve into ranting. (Edit: this got very long and kind of rambling, but hopefully it doesn’t come off as mean.)

First off we need to establish that I’m asexual, aromantic, at times agender, and have less than zero desire to be a part of any stage of the human reproductive process. In all honesty, pregnancy is a very special kind of body-horror to me, and that likely factors into my reaction to the self-styled “pro-life” side. Because, when you get right down to it, much of the “pro-life” side isn’t pro-life, it’s pro-fetus.

You’d think if a person was pro-life, they’d care about, say: the homeless epidemic, or how America likes to march into foreign countries and murder a shit-ton of people, or all the queer/lgbt+ people who are victims of hate crimes. They’d care about people of color who are murdered by the police every day, or the thousands of kids abused by a system meant to protect them, or women (and, of course, others) who are victims of domestic violence or rape culture. But the thing is, a lot of them aren’t.

Because, like I said, a lot of them only care about the fetus, and care nothing for the woman* who’s carrying it. Once that baby is born, they cease giving a fuck because obviously if it’s been born, then their job is done, and they don’t care what happens next. They don’t care if those women carrying the fetus was raped, or got drunk and didn’t use protection, or did absolutely everything “right” and still got pregnant. They don’t care that those women don’t want to be pregnant; those women don’t want to give up forty weeks of their life to what (when you think about it clinically) amounts to a parasite; those women don’t want to give birth; those women don’t want to be responsible for raising a child, and often don’t have the means to do it right.

A frighteningly large amount of “pro-lifers” are white Christians who refuse to acknowledge the complexities of pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing. They argue that “life begins at conception” but say nothing about the life or lives that may be ruined by that conception (and subsequent birth). They use the Bible to justify forcing women to carry an unwanted fetus to term, and then also use it to justify hate crimes against queer/LGBT+ people, discriminatory treatment of PoC, and the general subjugation of women. Oh, and we can’t ever forget the Islamophobia and general air of xenophobia that usually accompanies them as well.

In essence, a more accurate description of the pro-life side is anti-choice, because that’s what it comes down to.

Listen, I don’t mean to be a dick about this.

I get that you haven’t made up your mind and that the idea of terminating a potential human being (and I stress this word because like 90% of abortions take place during the first trimester, when it is more accurate to call it an embryo) probably squicks you out.

I totally understand that.

But it’s important to be aware that for a lot of people on the anti-choice side, their little crusade is just another way to express their bigotry and their hatred of women, often queer/LGBT+ women and women of color.

Story time:

My grandmother on my mom’s side got pregnant out of wedlock when she was sixteen. That became my Aunt Dawn (for whom I was named) and she’s the sweetest, most well-meaning woman… maybe not in the world, but that I’ve ever met, certainly. But guess what? Grandma Kathy didn’t want her. She was sixteen, she made a dumbass decision, and didn’t want to have a kid. But you know what her parents did? They told her they were taking her to get an abortion, bundled her up in the car, drove several states away, and dropped her at a “home for fallen women.” They didn’t tell her where they were leaving her, or for how long, or anything. Just that she could come back “home” later. “Later” meaning after she gave birth to my Aunt Dawn.

Listen, I love my Aunt Dawn. Out of literally all of my family, and hoo-boy there’s a lot of them on either side, she’s basically the only one that I even like, let alone love. But my grandma didn’t want my Aunt Dawn and she shouldn’t have been forced to have her. She shouldn’t have been lied to and abandoned and blackmailed into having and raising a child. And it took a toll on her, let me assure you.

Okay, I like my grandma well enough, okay? But she isn’t exactly the healthiest person, she doesn’t have the healthiest relationships, and doesn’t make the healthiest decisions. She’s had five daughters and two sons by several different men, she’s poor and unemployed, and I’m pretty sure she’s had some issues with drinking.

If I were able to go back in time and help her get an abortion, I fucking would. Even knowing that it would mean that me and my sisters and my nephew and my mom and my Aunt Dawn wouldn’t exist, I would still do it. (It sounds terrible, but I don’t care much about my uncles and cousins. They’re all a bunch of fucked up assholes.)

And now let’s talk about my sisters. I have a lot. I have one who got pregnant in her senior year of high school and had to drop out; my nephew is going to be four now in a few months and she’s only just gotten a job that pays a living wage.

I have another who’s currently pregnant and with the guy who knocked her up even though he’s and idiot and an asshole and makes her cry; I fear for the future of both her and the kid that’s on the way because those futures are not gonna be fuckin pretty.

I have two (adopted) sisters who are actually sisters themselves; only half, though, because their dad is a piece of shit who couldn’t keep it in his damn pants and didn’t even try. He’s in prison now and blames his parents for everything that’s gone wrong in his life, up to and including the fact that he isn’t fit to take care of his kids. (I know this because he’s my step-dad’s kid and sent a long series of texts to that effect to my mom a few months ago.) My new little sisters’ moms are both drug addicts who couldn’t be trusted with their daughters. And, of course, my sisters have another sister by another woman (who’d also had drug problems but is now clean and takes care of her daughter) and a brother that I don’t know much about.

And then, of course, there’s my other sisters on the other side of things, who are desperate to have children. I have one who’s been trying with her husband for a couple of years now, who’s had fertility treatments and has visited multiple doctors to try to figure out what’s up with her junk, because we know it’s something but don’t know what. She’s slated for some kind of surgery soon.

I’ve also got another sister, my oldest, who wants kids. She just got married to an old friend of hers who I had never even heard of until I was invited to the wedding. She stayed in a relationship with an abusive ex-Navy Seal for years because he kept dangling the possibility of having kids with her like a fucking carrot. They had physical fights, she had to take all kinds of medication for anxiety and shit, and liked to combine them with alcohol because being in a relationship with him was such a fucking trial on her psyche.

My immediate family alone pretty much runs the gamut of reproductive experiences, barring (to my knowledge) sexual assault and the fact that (to my knowledge) they’re all cis.

What I’m saying is: there’s a lot of shit out there. A lot. There’s girls who got pregnant on accident, and never even consider abortion. There’s girls who got pregnant on accident, and never got access to abortion. There’s girls who want to get pregnant but can’t because of medical reasons. There’s girls who want to get pregnant and men use that to abuse and manipulate them.

I support all of them. I support those that never consider abortions; I support those that want abortions; I support those that want to carry to term; I support those that are desperate to get pregnant in the first place. I support each and every one of them, for all that I am completely unable to empathize with those that want kids in the first place.

I support them because, even though I have no idea what any of that must feel like, it’s their choice and I respect that. Anti-choicers, pro-lifers, whatever you wanna call them, they don’t respect that. They treat pregnancy like it’s the be-all and end-all of human existence and experience. They treat women who get pregnant and want to abort as if they’re stupid, irresponsible, the devil himself, etc.

Now, if you’ve made it all this way, then I’d like to apologize for all the detours and digressions and also congratulate you on getting through them all. As you may have noticed, I’ve got some thoughts on the subject in general as well as some tangentially-personal experience. What it all boils down to is this: while it may affect us, while it may impact the course of our lives, unless it is us who is the one who is pregnant, it’s not our decision. We can have opinions; we can offer advice; we can counsel the one who is pregnant. But, when it comes right down to it, the only one who gets to make the decision of whether to carry to term or abort, is the one who is pregnant.

And, to me, that’s all there is to it.

*not everyone who becomes pregnant is a woman and may be instead nonbinary/genderqueer or a man who was assigned female at birth. However, I very much doubt that someone who cares very little or (more likely) absolutely nothing for a person’s body autonomy will care anything for respecting their gender identity.

#slice of life #anon asks #answered asks #reproductive rights

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