#tho believe me

[arlxcchino]

sorry i have been a bit dead here i have been working and well ghutighitg all that drains my writing muse , , ,

#tho believe me #i HAVE muse #so much muse #too much even- #* (&&. ooc) always sleepy ; always angy .

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[nerdpoe]

Kon falls into the ocean, exhausted, and genuinely doesn't think this is going to end well for him. He's gonna faint in the middle of the ocean, where he'll sink to where the sun can't reach him. He won't be able to do the weird photosynthesis thing he and Kal do in space. He's gonna drown. Then he's, like, suddenly Prince Eric? From the Little Mermaid? But the Mermaid is way hotter and also a dude.

He's underwater, and very deep. He can feel himself fading out, black creeping along the edge of his vision.

Then, there's movement.

A very large mermaid - sorry, merdude - with glowing green freckles and crystalline, snowy hair. He's roughly the size of an Orca, and has the coloration of one aside from the freckles and vivid, glowing green eyes.

The merdude reaches out, very gently cradles Kon in his hands, and Kon's exhaustion catches up to him. Kon blacks out.

Kon wakes up on a California beach, alone.

He immediately tries to reach out to Aquaman; he's gotta find that merguy and uh...thank him. Maybe ask him out. He's not sure how he'd date someone the size of an Orca Whale, but he's Superboy; he'll figure it out.

~~~~~~

Aquaman has no idea what Superboy is talking about; there is no race of mer that large. He'd know, he's the King of Atlantis. Superboy keeps telling him he's wrong, though.

And the more he looks into it, the more he's hearing rumors of a very large, very ancient mer that spends their time lounging around old shipwrecks.

A mer that disappears the second anyone tries to approach them.

A ghost.

Or; Danny was lazing about in the ocean, searching for treasure from sunken ships (Sam said he needed a hobby), using his larger, slightly more eldrich ghost form with the tail. Call him cringe, but it feels more fitting to be in the ocean with that form. Makes him feel all majestic and the like. He comes across a hero floating in the ocean. One he vaguely recognizes as a member of Young Justice? They're in like...California. Somewhere. He decides to play taxi. There are consequences. One of those consequences may or may not be a date.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #aquaman: “superboy please. there's no species of mer that large. i don't understand why you don't believe me.” #kon: “yes there is tho? i was literally saved by him. who is my knight in shining...uh...scales? sure. scales.” #danny: “ohhhhh that was SUPERBOY. he's pretty cute. anyways tucker look at this badass cursed sword i found.”

[comradekatara]

it's national draw your sibling day

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #katara #sokka #katara&sokka #art #mart #oldergaang #portraitgaang #i like to think they get less antagonistic once theyre in their twenties #i also firmly believe w every fibre of my soul that sokka improves his art #(and im coming for anyone who says otherwise in the comments of this post with hammers. jsyk) #also drawing w charcoal is way easier than ink painting. so maybe he realizes that too #also apologies if i butchered the spelling of katara's name i was just working w the wiki but . if its bad u can say its intentional #bc sokka is stupid or whatever idk 😭 #anyway. this ACTUALLY started bc i was thinking about how we never actually see katara draw #but i just KNOW that she would have the most anime art style #dont ask me how i know these things ok i just do #so this whole thing was just an excuse to showcase that . lmao #i worked so hard on this tho. pls clap

[bixels]

Scary Sunset.

I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.

#mlp #sunset shimmer #twilight sparkle #twiset #the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art #deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement #but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred. #hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way #when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too #fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory #and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new. #she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her #anyways toxic yuri yayyy #my art #the grand galloping 20s #character design #i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days #i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate #is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey

[scruntassdude]

i love gary so much he really gets me

bonus:

#finnpost #fionna and cake #marshall lee the vampire king #prince gumball #gumlee #fionna and cake spoilers #i cannot believe we got confirmed monster fucker gary thats so funny to me #real of him tho #in every universe gumball/bubblegum see a dangerous red-themed demon and go 'oh i cant NOT fuck that' #real of them tbh

[tshortik]

Cryptic visions of space and time...

#essek #essek thelyss #critical role #mighty nein #caleb widogast #this works on its own but it's actually part of a bigger fancomic idea i have #but i still have to figure out if i even want to invest so much time into something like that lmao.. prob not #i already made a concept document for fun and its way too long.. unfortunately i rly like it #i rly believe in the idea tbh i just dont know if its physically possible because i work fulltime LMAO #its a lot of fun tho #here i am 3 years late idk why the essek thoughts bubble out NOW ignore me

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.

#is this a post about Latinx Jason todd? Bitch it might be #Don't ask me about it tho cuz I'll deny it to my core #I imagine jason drunk off his ass belting No Me Queda Mas like he fuckin wrote the song #Dick's got Como la Flor Energy but he has ugly Sobbed NMQS too #they are so infamous for their drunk spanish ballads that they actually rub off on TIm #imagine young justice suprise when the whitest kid you've ever seen wasted on 7/11 liquor is hiccuping his way through a selena song #worst accent you've ever heard sounds like a dog from New Jersey learning to bark and yet the emotion is kinda on point #TIm denies it #refuses to believe he has ever done it #Dick and Jason get a copy of the video and someone edits a mash up of all three of them warble singing that banger #anyway this was a nothing post of nothing I made for myself #fr just for me #DC #Batman #Batfam #Jason todd #Tim drake #Dick Grayson

[koipepo]

That omake of little Kabru not being able to show off his howetown sweets because of Misril gets to me a lot so...

Here's a happier Kabru (and Lairu)

#kabru #lairu #labru #laios #dungeon meshi #my art #my fanart #fanart #idk why i resort to fluffy fanart even tho i keep thinking and seeing gag/hornt lairu stuff #kabru is just so.. fascinating and actually endlessly tragic #i kinda like that ryoko kui doesnt try to over-explain or dramatize her characters that have tragic backstories. it makes her world that- #-much more believable and realistic. that being said i will devour more kabru stories from her #i kinda cant stop thinking abt kabru (and to an extent lairu) #ik in Lairu/Labru fanart Kabru is usually depicted as humorously in denial guy #but i see it everywhere and it made me think more of their more understanding phase in the epilogue #maybe laios is ooc here but i think he will also warm up to human connection now that he actually has people he cares abt around him #(and maybe because kabru is teaching him tips and trick to be a Normal Guy lmao) #im also not very good at humor so theres only so much i can do with gag lairu 😂

[wildtornado-o]

Doodles :)

I think the Graham de Vanilys should have some cats and ferrets, Félix seems like a ferret liker <3 The doodles on the last image are old ones i never got aroun to posting, mostly consisting of the aged up designs i have 4 feligami

#Miraculous is eating at my brain again who wouldve guessed (me) #its always eating at my brain tbh tho #Adrien Agreste #Felix Graham de Vanily #Nathalie Sancoeur #Amelie Graham de Vanily #amenath #Kagami Tsurugi #Feligami #the names for the cats r based off a Felix ai I had a couple chats with #Do i just like giving characters im attached to cats because I have cats? yeah. probably. it brings me joy <3 #my art #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous adventures of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous ladybug #ml representation spoilers #ml representation #I am an its Amelie not Emilie believer btw #ALSO Felix would love Shad ow the Hedg ehog

[homkamiro]

"Love, huh?"

#i'm a big believer that scout was screamed at or punished by all the people around him because of his annoyance #brothers dates the mercs and etc #he's used to negative feedback and therefore feels really uncomfortable when he gets to be complimented or said nice things #his annoying behaviour is like some sort of defense mechanism #tho he likes to feel special to sniper. a lot #i know it's incredibly OOC but god just let me be delusional a bit. what's a girl to do #team fortress 2 #team fortress 2 fanart #team fortress 2 comic #tf2 #tf2 fanart #tf2 comic #tf2 sniper #tf2 scout #sniperscout #speeding bullet

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: Dani has a too many break-ups for Danny’s heart to handle as an older brother- So he gives her a criteria that her next boyfriend needs to fit for Danny to approve of their relationship. 

Dani was really excited about her new boyfriend. He was witty, and charming, knew how to sword fight and was absolutely stunning. He loved his family, was passionate about animals and social justice causes, and he was an artist! She had a thing for green eyes, and hey, he was actually super chill about them having flexible schedules to see each other (she had vigilante shit to do that she couldn’t explain)! It’s been going on for a few months and she’s honestly ready for him to meet Danny & Jazz but... 

The last time she was home it was for a broken heart and Danny was beside himself with worry over her. He made the guys recently deceased ancestors come forward to speak on his behalf and it was Mortifying- Danny was ready to throw down. And Dani had to admit, it was super sweet that her big brother cared so much. He’d happily given a shovel talk to each of her partners when she brought them home and he’d happily tried to bond with them and integrate into their lives. Danny always allowed her to make mistakes but respected her choices to only ever ask two questions when a new partner came into the picture: Do they make you happy? Do they treat you well? 

This last time he made a simple request, just could they please fit this one criteria? 

The thought comes to her unfortunately when she’s making out with her perfect match, her soul mate, this beautifully stabby man Damian Wayne, that she should bring up the deal breaker. Her brother gave her literally one request for her next partner, and by the ancients she didn’t want to disappoint Danny. 

Pulling away from her boyfriends kiss for just a moment, Dani quickly asks “Sorry, Sorry, it’s just...Have you ever died before?” 

Damian’s look of confusion and then concern grew on his normally collected face, which told her more than enough. 

“Okay great!” And she leaned back in, only to realize that he’s pulled back. 

“Would... Would you care to explain why you just asked me that?” Damian was doing his best to not jump to conclusions.

“Sorry, I just got in my head a bit about how you’re like, the light of my life and I want you to meet my family and then my brain wandered, before you did that thing with your teeth, to the fact that my brother kind of requested... um, well, he just asked that my next partner be, uh, don’t freak out if this sounds weird, but uh, be dead.” 

“He...He wants your partner to be dead.” 

“Well, Dead adjacent is perfectly normal in my family! It’s not like a whole thing! You’ve died before, so he’ll absolutely love you! And he’ll love you even more because you love me!” She smiles as brilliantly as the stars.

Damian isn’t sure for a second, but eventually asks: “Your family is ‘dead adjacent’ and you want me to meet them?” to which she happily confirms. 

“Do you... Wish to know how I-” Damian begins but she cuts him off “No! Never, I would never ask that of you. He won’t ask either! He actually has a better vision for these things so it probably won’t even come up! How does next Tuesday work?” 

“That should be fine, however, well...On the subject of family expectations ... Is it even possible that you might be a vigilante?” Damian’s worries melt away when his girlfriend smiles and lunges forward to kiss him. 

Families could have such weird expectations, you know? 

#Dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny phantom #dani phantom #damian wayne #serious chaos #lmao dannys actual words were 'could you please just date someone i can relate to for once?' #dani interpreted that as meaning dead/undead #she's honestly not wrong for thinking that tho cause he's only ever tried to set her up on blind dates with other ghosts #Danny is a good big brother to her and i believe this to my dying breath #damian is so sure that shes a vigilante but has never dared to cross that line and ask #damian is like 'she can knock me on my ass she is clearly the perfect woman'

[ineed-to-sleep]

Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops

#I found out dr. kuras is 6'6 I said hold on lemme get a stool so I can climb this man #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved kuras #kuras #sleepyscribble #oc.emma #my mc is meant to be a self insert but also like. I wanted to come up w a design and character arc and everything jkvkvk #so I ended up basing her on my personality/looks but taking her into a direction that would fit the game #she's like. me but 'characterized' and a bit exaggerated for the sake of being a character yk #the way she turned out is that she's basically a friendly happy go lucky mage who laughs at her own misery but hides #a deep layer of self loathing underneath all that bc of her curse #having been cursed all her life she believes she's a monster and the sunny personality is a way for her to 'make up for it' #but at the same time she feels like a farse. like she's only luring ppl in to an inevitable demise #and she thinks she's selfish bc despite knowing the danger she poses she still goes out there and puts herself among ppl #bc she craves human connection. even tho she feels guilty for 'indulging' in it #anyway I love the cursed mc concept in this game <3 it's been really interesting to think abt how that would affect someone #also I kept her physical features looking pretty much like mine #bc I wanted to draw myself in a cute way. teehee #but the clothing I was basically thinking like. early game simple clothing that she didn't rlly pick for herself #and maybe later I can have an updated design w something she would actually pick for herself

[viveela]

A style comic I just had to get out of my system

#veearts #south park #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #stan x kyle #stankyle #stanky #style #sp fanart #fan comic #taps my fingers. for those who read tags hi hello #ill only say it here but me and my friend thought this up #we concluded these two have the craziest npd/bpd relationship known to man #but we believe they can make it. trust #but yeah this was drawn/written w that coding in mind #I think I did fairly well they're cute but disorderly #my heart goes out to them #again I swear they'll be fine but it's rough. aren't most things tho?? #whatever anyways long live style

[potatobugz]

dugon my friend my buddy my pal

#just roll with it #jrwi #potatart #just roll with it riptide #jrwi riptide #dugon #jrwi dugon #gillion tidestrider #okay this interaction was kind of hilarious and dare i say #cute (?) #i have a lot of things wrong with me its ok #no spoilers again im on episode 59 #I LIKE THAT DUGON IS MENTIONED IN GILLION'S LIST OF TITLES LIKE SIX TIMES THATS SO FUNNY #guys i think he might be friends with dugon idk tho i might be wrong (joke) #idk aomething about imagining gil still speaking into its ear in primordial #somrthing something i like gillion very much #i love jrwi auuuhggh im gushing again #P.S. UM I MIGHTVE GOTTEN DUGONS SIZE A LITTLE WRONG. FORGIVE ME #I BELIEVE IM CLOSE TO ITS ACCURATE SIZE CUZ OF THAT ONE THUMBNAIL BUT LIKE BLEH #IK ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A LEVIATHAN

[hinamie]

i loved the colours in this scene too much not to do a redraw

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #megumi fushiguro #megumi #fanart #jjk fanart #screencap redraw #(fr those of u who missed the announcement i am fresh off s2 i finally finished it like. this afternoon H) #ws floored by the art the animation th frame drops the intensity n grittiness of it all....literally in love the whole time #with megu also <3 lov him <333333 #but re: th redraw . i cant believe i was given the opportunity to Not draw extra rabbits #and i ignored it to draw extra rabbits #smth smth work harder not smarter...smth smth make ur own life difficult n complain abt it ... #none of that matters tho look at MEGU #u kno maybe colour theory is onto something bc this screenshot goes SO hard #me; having art as my One hobby since childhood: wow maybe blue and orange Are complementary :0 #i keep learning the same things over and over and kicking myself fr it not sticking ever gjhdj