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six-white-venus · 2 months

Note

UHMM uhm. thoughts on strays

Dear God,

I am- you must know my name already, right? After all, I’m your child. My mother tells me you used to be a shepherd. My hair is white like that of a sheep. You must’ve let me go astray. What a bad master you are.

Dear God,

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.

Dear God,

Father (I can call you that, right? I’m your son, after all), won’t you take care of ma? She’s sick, and she screams way too much these days. You will take care of her, right? Ma tells me you are everywhere. I think I saw you yesterday. The doctor looks an awful lot like you when she tells me ma’s gonna be alright. I see you, father. You have a pretty smile.

Dear God,

I kissed a boy today. He tastes like apples.

Dear God,

I haven’t seen the boy I kissed in a week. The doctor won’t look me in the eyes anymore. I can’t see you. Where are you?

Dear God,

Would you come running if I burn the words that praise you? Would you come running, not for your kin or your children, but for yourself?

I must say, fire looks prettier than your smile. I rather like it. The smell of your beloved bible burning stings my nose. How very sweet.

GOD,

IT HURTS. IT HURTS. MOTHER CARVED MY EYE OPEN WITH A CROSS. NOW MY EYE BEARS THE CROSS YOU HUNG ON. HOW AWFUL. IT HURTS. I CAN SEE YOU.

Father,

Mother died today. The doctor cried. I see you. Do you know how I figured that was you, right there?

There was no sorrow in those tears.

God,

What do I call you, now that I have deemed you unworthy of prayer? You are not human. You are not holy. You are cruel and twisted. You, do you exist? No. No, you exist. If you don’t exist, then that means I am my own God. Then that means I am the one who hates me so. You exist. Can you see me? I can’t see you.

I think I know what to call you. Coward sure does have a good ring to it.

Coward,

No one knows I talk to you.

I laugh when someone brings up your name when I’m in the room. I spit on your existence. I don’t pray. But I talk to you. Because it’s soothing to pretend you’re here. You villain. It’s easier to pretend I’m just a stray searching for its way back to Bethlehem. Easier to pretend there is no freedom for a stray. I roam the streets searching for you with my leash in my mouth, whimpering, weeping, howling. It’s terrifying to be alone. So I talk. If I am the cause of my own demons, then what’s adding one more to the roster?

Demon,

I made a priest go mad with anger today. In my defense, he kissed me back. I was the one who let go, too. A perfect gentleman. He told me I would never know of the lord ever again. I wanted to tell him: you silly thing. I have known him my whole life.

He is a stray stuck on the top of a lonely mountain. He is your father, the one that beats you black and blue for your own good. He is the light that blinds you. He is the filth that spills out of your mouth. He’s the hands you pulled me closer with. He is the holiest sin. To be holy is to be sinful. To sin is a thing of beauty. Beauty has always been bloody. I know God. He is the bloodiest one of them all.

Dear God,

I like to talk to you because one day, when I find my way home, I can fall to my knees in front of you. Father, look at these teeth you’ve given me. Father, I will promise to make you holy again. Father, why are you screaming? Father, don’t be scared, it all happens for a reason. Did you know a stray doesn’t cross the path of another in fear that the other will sink its teeth in its fur? Is that way you hid from me for so long, Father?

Father, look at these teeth you’ve given me. My hair was never sheep-white, was it? It has always been the white of Lilith’s fangs. I will see you again, Father. You would be proud to see the man your son has grown to be.

Can you hear me, Father? Soon, I will be the holiest (bloodiest) of them all. Watch out for my teeth, father. Watch out for the one stray you never came back for.

#diary of a madman #sorry about the VERY late answer to your ask lou ily #this one is very messy but hope you like it #this was inspired by a character. nikolai gogol from bungou stray dogs #but for all of you girlies with religious trauma!! finger guns. go wild besties #my writing #prose poetry #words #writeblr #prose #religious trauma #tw religious themes #nikolai gogol #bungou stray dogs

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yeonban · 4 months

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#YEONBAN. An independent, private & mutually exclusive multimuse featuring both canon characters and OCs from various anime, manga, webtoon and videogame franchises. Sporadic activity. Singleship (or noship) and multiverse for every muse on the roster. Beta editor user.

* written by Chris, 23, he/him, Romanian.

DIRECTORY. Rules & Muses. / Prompts. / Art credit. 𓂅 AFFILIATES. deathfavor. deitise. furiaei & scrtilegii. lifesliced. lunargifted. minban. ofdraiocht. planetarii. quirkthieves. shinanai. skilledsenses. truethes.

DISCLAIMER. My muses tend to be blunt, insensitive or even violent depending on the context and their mood. I will not be toning them down, so follow at your own discretion. That being said, their opinions and remarks do not equal mine as the mun, so please don’t take them personally. If I follow you, I love your muse and the way you portray them, you can be sure of that!

MUSES AVAILABLE FOR ALL:

AMNESIA: MEMORIES. 𓂅 Toma. (singleship with dangaer's Shin)

AO NO EXORCIST. 𓂅 Lewin Light / Lightning. (noship)

BLACK CLOVER. 𓂅 Langris Vaude. (singleship with planetarii's William) 𓂅 Rhya.

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS. 𓂅 Nikolai Gogol. 𓂅 Ango Sakaguchi. 𓂅 Marin Preda, OC. 𓂅 Eric Blair, OC. 𓂅 Ochi Fukuchi.

D. GRAY MAN. 𓂅 Devit. (noship)

DEATH NOTE. 𓂅 A. (singleship with lifesliced's B) 𓂅 Tobias, OC. (noship...?)

GENSHIN IMPACT. 𓂅 Sethos. 𓂅 Heizou Shikanoin. 𓂅 Lyney Snezhevich. 𓂅 Subject Two. (noship)

HONKAI: STAR RAIL. 𓂅 Dan Heng. (singleship with scrtilegii's Jing Yuan) 𓂅 Screwllum. 𓂅 Aha. (noship) 𓂅 Aventurine. (noship)

HUNTER X HUNTER 𓂅 Shalnark Kurta. (singleship with shinanai's Feitan)

I LOVE YOO 𓂅 Yeong-gi Hirahara / Nolan Lochlainn.

KIMETSU NO YAIBA. 𓂅 Daiji, OC. (noship) 𓂅 Toshiro Hisakawa, OC. (singleship with destinywoven's Giyu) 𓂅 Yuichiro Tokito. (noship)

OBEY ME. 𓂅 Satan. (noship)

ORIENT 𓂅 Soma Date. (singleship with deathfavor's Seiroku) 𓂅 Naotora Takeda. (singleship with ofdraiocht's Kanetatsu) 𓂅 Aijiro Inue / Nobutaka Takeda. 𓂅 Mikito Inumura / Kazuchika Toda. (noship)

PSYCHO PASS. 𓂅 Shuusei Kagari. (noship)

SERVAMP. 𓂅 Gear / Neugear Hartevelt. (singleship with truethes' Ash) 𓂅 Lawless. (singleship with truethes' Licht)

For a list of my low-inspiration or friends-only muses and their status, you can check the doc linked in the directory!

DISCLAIMER. Plenty of my muses are blatant flirts, but that does not mean they are trying to pursue a romantic relationship with yours! On that note, your muses are welcome to have crushes on mine regardless of their availability, but the way my muses will respond to advances will vary depending on whether they’re single or taken. On my end, my muses might get crushes on yours, but I will never force a ship on you - shipping isn’t a priority on this blog, and even when it comes down to it, I prefer slowburns over any other type of romance. When it comes to platonic, familial or hate relationships though, this is your sign to hmu in dms because I will definitely say yes!

#* ooc. / pinned post.#A new pinned has been 2 years coming; what with the legacy editor being switched out for the beta one and everything!

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ao3feed-fyozai · 2 years

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mine to lose

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/8jeDozu

by emmacifer

“He’s not yours to make assumptions of,” Fedya says coldly and Dazai snorts, walking back the way he came, probably to go look for Atsushi.

“Much protective of him, aren’t you?”

Fuck him.

God, fuck him.

or in other words, the exes Fyozai DOA Christmas shopping fic with sprinkles of Fyolai angst that I put off for too long then got inspired to write again

Words: 5244, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sigma (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Lucy Maud Montgomery (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mentioned Izumi Kyouka (Bungou Stray Dogs) - Character, Decay of Angels Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Relationships: Fyodor Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky & Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky & Nikolai Gogol & Sigma (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nikolai Gogol & Sigma (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi & Sigma (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Additional Tags: light fluff, Light Angst, guys i have absolutely no idea what the theme of this is except Christmas, Post-Break Up, broken-up fyozai, Christmas, Implied fyolai, Pining, I wrote this because Fedya deserves to be waNTeD, I've been listening to August too much can you tell, Winter, Dazai Osamu is a Little Shit (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sigma is so done, Christmas Shopping, Dazai Osamu Being An Asshole (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, How Do I Tag, Bungou Stray Dogs References, Dancing, Have I read Crime and Punishment? no, will that stop me from quoting it? absolutely not, Title from a Taylor Swift Song, rip fyodor's wallet, Past Dazai Osamu/Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), an alarming amount of rum balls consumed in one sitting, traces of sigsushi, I just want them to be best friends, and possibly boyfriends but that's another story, both fyozai are gonna be lit majors because I said so, could be crack if you look at it a certain way?, that awkward moment when you just forget how posting on ao3 works, happy pride month everyone

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/8jeDozu

#fyozai #bungou stray dogs #ao3fyozai #ao3feed #fanfic

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sskk-ao3feed · 10 months

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something in the orange

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/uoUc71w by drownedregkinningdazai There were tales about him, how he was the one to finally kill Fyodor Dostoyevsky, who was the cruelest of all pirates, and was responsible for much suffering. People talked about how Dazai became one of the most famous pirates within a year, how he searched the sea and claimed every treasure buried deep in caves, and how he was the one to finally find The Book. All of those stories were true, yet no one knew why Dazai did all these things with such a flame in his eyes, what he used The Book for, why he was covered in bandages, or what he was searching for all this time with such desperation. Some said it was obviously for power, some said for love, that there was an unknown woman who claimed his heart, and some said it was all from greed. Only Dazai knew the answer to that. Others were left to wonder, forever fearing the Captain of the Demon Prodigy. Dazai and Chuuya meet again after four years and things don't go as Dazai planned. Words: 10174, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Albatross (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Junichirou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Miyazawa Kenji (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs) Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Pirates, Slow Burn, Adventure & Romance, Minor Character Death, Drinking, Smoking, Singing, Dancing, Stargazing, Enemies to Lovers, but it's one sided, complicated past, Misunderstandings, Friends with Benefits to Enemies to Lovers, Dazai Osamu is Whipped (Bungou Stray Dogs), Soft Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Curses, Corruption, Magic, Threats of Violence, Daggers, Guns, Bar Lupin (Bungou Stray Dogs), Swearing, Taverns, Inspired by Pirates of the Caribbean, Pirates of the Caribbean References, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Out of Character, Not Beta Read, Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions (Bungou Stray Dogs), Pirate Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Pirate Chuuya, Captain Dazai, Captain Chuuya, Murder, Childhood Trauma, Betrayal, but not really, Dazai your kinks are showing, the book, Dazai Osamu is Bad at Feelings (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is So Done with Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, POV Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), POV Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/uoUc71w

#ao3feed sskk #akuatsu #fic rec

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thecoffeelovingfreak · 2 years

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𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤

Hello! This post contains the characters and themes I write for! I am always open to your ideas, though, so if something is not listed here feel free to ask me!

I only write for Bungou Stray Dogs, Vanitas no Carte, Twisted Wonderland, Castlevania (the series), and Tears of Themis!

I write headcanons, drabbles, oneshots, and stories (which can range from ~1.8k to 2k or higher, depending on how inspired I am)!

I write gender neutral readers, and prefer to write that way!

Please note the reader will always be of legal age.

You can request:

- a character

- a character with a genre/tone

- a reader with an ability*

* - BSD - you can base the ability off of a specific book, but if I don't know it or haven't read it I may ask you to give me a summary or more specifics (how you see the ability)!

If I don't feel comfortable with the author's work, I'll ask you to send in a different request!

Your request will most likely take 1-2 weeks (it can always take shorter or longer however) to get written and posted so please be patient!

Also note that I may ask you to send in a different request if I don't feel comfortable writing what you asked for :)

Do not send me multiple sets of the same request. I promise that I see and read them, but insistence can discourage me from writing it.

~~~

What I will write:

fluff

hurt/comfort

angst

AU's

suggestive content

virtually anything

What I will not write:

yandere content

nsfw/smut - I prefer to write it on my own accord, without requests, and it generally appears very rarely on my blog

non-con/dub-con relationships and sex

extremely detailed readers - if you would like me to do a slightly specific reader please give me a short list of traits or mannerisms!

character x character

child readers and readers under 18

standard criteria (no homophobia, incest, racism, etc.)

~~~

Characters I write for:

Bungou Stray Dogs:

Armed Detective Agency:

Yukichi Fukuzawa

Osamu Dazai

Akiko Yosano

Edogawa Ranpo

Doppo Kunikida

Port Mafia:

Kouyou Ozaki

Chuuya Nakahara

Ryūnosuke Akutagawa

Gin Akutagawa

Michizō Tachihara

The Guild:

Louisa May Alcott

Lucy Maud Montgomery

Mark Twain

Margaret Mitchell

The Decay of Angels:

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Nikolai Gogol

Sigma

Bram Stoker

Hunting Dogs:

Tecchou Suehiro

Saigiku Jouno

Other:

Agatha Christie

Mizuki Tsujimura

Yukito Ayatsuji

Ango Sakaguchi

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vanitas no Carte:

Vampires:

Noé Archiviste

Jeanne

Dominique de Sade

Humans:

Vanitas

Olivier

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Twisted Wonderland:

Heartslabyul:

Riddle Rosehearts

Trey Clover

Cater Diamond

Ace Trappola

Deuce Spade

Savanaclaw:

Leona Kingscholar

Ruggie Bucchi

Jack Howl

Octavinelle:

Azul Ashengrotto

Jade Leech

Floyd Leech

Scarabia:

Kalim Al-Asim

Jamil Viper

Pomefiore:

Vil Schoenheit

Rook Hunt

Epel Felmier

Ignihyde:

Idia Shroud

Diasomnia:

Malleus Draconia

Lilia Vanrouge

Silver

Sebek Zigvolt

Ramshackle:

Grim (platonic)

The Ghosts (platonic)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Castlevania

Humans:

Trevor Belmont

Sypha Belnades

Greta

Lisa Ţepeş

Forgemasters:

Issac

Hector

Vampires & Dhampirs:

Adrian "Alucard" Ţepeş

Carmilla

Morana

Striga

Lenore

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tears of Themis

Themis Law Firm:

Artem "Libra" Wing

Kiki Bennet

Pax Group:

Marius "King" von Hagen

Vincent Kim

Giannovyn Mental Health Research Center:

Vyn "Adjudicator" Richter

Pearce Private Investigations:

Luke "Raven" Pearce

Stellis Justice Department:

Darius Morgan

~~~

Please don't hesitate to send in your ask! I look forward to writing for you! :)

#coff's rules

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after-witch · 4 years

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After-Witch Masterlist

My masterlist! Will be updated regularly. Please note yandere content will contain the ‘Yandere’ descriptor before a character. Content is broken up by fandom, with headcanons listed at the bottom of each category. Multi-part pieces will be noted [Complete] when they are finished.

[Hopefully these links will work on desktop and mobile... if not I will work on a Google Doc version!]

Updated 04/28/21

Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia

Birthday Gift: Part 1 - Part 2 [Yandere Overhaul x Reader] [Complete]

You finally get up the nerve to ask your captor for a special gift–a birthday gift.

Bad Day [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

You’re in one of your dark moods again. Overhaul wants to help you.

Just One Night [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

You really, really want to go see The Nutcracker. Will your captor grant your request to continue an annual tradition?

Damned to Live Forever [Yandere Vampire Aizawa x Reader]

You fall prey to the whims of a vampire with a penchant for lost, helpless souls.

Don’t Fall Asleep [Yandere Dream Demon Dabi x Reader]

You can’t stop dreaming about a terrible man with scars. You’ll be okay--if you can just stay awake.

Takeout [Yandere Dabi x Reader]

You haven’t been eating. Your captor brings home takeout.

Just a Name [Yandere Dabi x Reader]

Dabi wants a name, that’s all. Things will be easier if you give it to him.

So Close [Yandere Hawks x Reader]

You ran and ran from Hawks and came... so close.

So Far [Yandere Hawks x Reader]

Sequel to ‘So Close.’ Hawks realizes he has to break you down to build you back up.

Vacation All I Ever Wanted [Yandere Hawks x Reader]

You agree to visit Japan with a friend for vacation, despite it being home to your controlling ex-boyfriend.

Threats and Lies [Yandere Shigaraki x Reader]

Your bratty behavior inspires threats and lies from your captor. Inspired by the prompt “I could kill you if I wanted to.”

Be Good to Him (The Boy!AU Shigaraki x Reader]

You’re a nanny responsible for the well-being of a doll-turned-ghost. You want to leave, and Tomura really doesn’t like that.

Birdsong [Yandere Shigaraki x Reader]

A rare outdoor picnic leads you to temptation. Inspired by the prompt “Don’t you dare fucking try it. You know you can’t outrun me.”

Adoration and Pain [Vampire!Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

You are his pure doe, his precious lamb. And his personal blood bank.

Let’s Split Up, Gang [Yandere Hawks x Reader]

You have a stalker. Thankfully, your boyfriend Hawks is there to help you investigate.

Mortality [Yandere Dabi x Reader]

Dabi muses on mortality after a hard day. For request: “Uhshh for the horror movie special I thought the quote “Fire is the reflection of or own mortality, we’re born, we breathe, and we die” from “Get Out” would work super well with dabi.”

Doctor Doctor [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

You’re afraid of doctors, which naturally means it’s time for your checkup.

Down the Drain [Yandere Dabi x Reader]

You and Dabi have a little... chat in the bathroom. For request: yandere dabi x fem reader.

White Picket Fence [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

[Part 2]

You’ve been with Kai Chisaki for three years. Your life is quiet and cozy and soothing. But what do you do when you realize you want more? For request: yandere overhaul x reader with stockholm syndrome

Pluck [Yandere Hawks x Reader]

You tried to run–no, fly–away. And Hawks is going to make sure you never try that again.

Sweet Dreams [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

Overhaul watches you sleep and has an… unexpected reaction.

Big City [Yandere Shigaraki x Reader]

You’re about to leave for a new university in a new city in a new country. Your friend doesn’t seem pleased. You agree to meet up before you leave in the hopes of keeping your friendship alive.

It’s My Party [Yandere Shigaraki x Reader]

You’re having a party and Shigaraki is not invited.

You Would Cry Too (If It Happened to You) (It’s My Party Part 2) [Yandere Shigaraki x Reader]

Quality Time (It’s My Party Part 3)

Shigaraki won’t let you go to the bathroom.

Office Hours [Yandere Shigaraki x Reader]

He gave you the outfit. The blouse, the skirt, the nylons–the heels. A secretary’s unofficial uniform. You can’t help but feel mocked, in a way. Hurt. Was he being cruel on purpose, to make you think about your life before all this?

Thank You For Your Donation [Yandere Shigaraki x Reader]

For request: “ Shigaraki gets obsessed with a twitch stream and deluded himself into believing they’re together until he finally takes her home “

Sketch Memory [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

Chisaki lets you indulge in your little hobbies. But he’s starting to suspect that you’re taking advantage of his “generosity.”

Fragile Little Thing [Yandere Hawks x Reader]

Your “boyfriend” is having a rough day and he doesn’t appreciate you being such a difficult partner. If you can’t behave, maybe he can’t behave, either.

Revelations [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

So you don’t eat, you don’t follow his rules; so you hurt yourself. It’s all you can do to keep up the fight against an obsessive captor who thinks he knows what’s best for you.

Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

Escape isn’t easy. Nor is it very long-lasting. When Overhaul’s men drag you back into captivity, you brace yourself and wait for what your captor will do with you.

Comfy Couch [Yandere Hawks x Reader]

It’s fine if you’re not paying attention to Netflix, really. But not paying attention to your boyfriend? That won’t fly.

Corsets and Blackmail [Yandere Dabi x Reader]

Dabi wants you in a corset. What Dabi wants, lately, Dabi gets.

Baby Mine [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

Rest Your Head (Baby Mine Part 2)

Close to My Heart (Baby Mine Part 3)

Never to Part (Baby Mine Part 4)

The first time you laid eyes on your child, you knew: You had to get out. Set in the ‘White Picket Fence’-verse.

Serpent [Naga!Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

You’re so lucky to have wandered into his den. Others might have eaten you, but he’ll keep you safe.

Pinned [Yandere Shigaraki x Secretary!Reader]

Follow up to Office Hours. You’ve given him a kink and isn’t that your fault, really?

Headcanons

Yandere Overhaul and a darling with chronic health problems

Yandere Overhaul General Headcanons

Yandere Aizawa General Headcanons

Yandere Dabi and a depressed darling

Yandere Hawks General Headcanons

Yandere Dabi and a depressed, clingy darling

Yandere Overhaul with a darling who has EDS

Yandere Shigaraki and a darling who doesn’t mind being kidnapped

Yandere Overhaul with a darling who hates mornings

Yandere Shigaraki + Secretary!Reader Headcanons

Yandere Shigaraki and secretary musings

Yandere Overhaul with pregnant reader headcanons

Bungou no Stray Dogs

With Friends Like These [Yandere Dazai x Naive Reader]

One of your friends thinks your new boyfriend is controlling. Your new boyfriend doesn’t like that at all.

Dinner Party [Yandere Fyodor Dostoevsky x Reader]

Your friends cancelled, one by one, leaving you with the only person in the world who seemed to care about you.

Flight [Yandere Nikolai Gogol x Reader]

You’re a fantastic actress when you’re on the stage. But your captor isn’t fooled when there’s no stage magic to hide your real feelings.

Character Development [Yandere Fyodor Dostoevsky x Reader]

You’ve been given a gift by your captor for good behavior. Too bad it’s a shitty book.

Headcanons

Yandere Dazai with an oblivious and nurturing reader

Yandere Dazai and Chuuya with a darling that has post-punishment nightmares

Yandere Dazai and Chuuya general headcanons

Death Note

Oh Sugar Sugar: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 [Yandere L Lawliet x Reader] [Complete]

You’re the owner of a cute little pastry shop. One of your customers falls in love with more than just your baked goodies.

Darling, Light of My Life [Yandere Light Yagami x Reader]

Inspired by a scene from The Shining. You found the book. He wants it back.

A Christmas Interlude [Yandere L Lawliet x Reader]

Set in the Oh Sugar Sugar series. It’s Christmas--and you have a gift coming. Deleted scene here.

Ginger Tea [Yandere L Lawliet x Reader]

You’re sick. Unfortunately, your captor has no intentions of leaving you alone to recover.

Sunny Day [Yandere l Lawliet x Reader]

He knew there was a high chance that your reaction to being kidnapped could end with depression. But what he didn’t know was how, exactly, to deal with it.

Final Fantasy 7

Compound [Yandere Sephiroth x Reader]

After being caught trying to escape, Sephiroth punishes you.

A Private Cell [Yandere Reno x Reader]

Part 2

For request: Can I request FF7 Reno with reader as his prisoner?

No Turning Back [Yandere Sephiroth x Reader]

It’s hard, being with Sephiroth–belonging to Sephiroth. Especially when your own heart belongs to another.

Headcanons

Yandere Kadaj General Headcanons

Yandere Yazoo General Headcanons

Yandere Vincent Valentine with shy female reader Headcanons

Hetalia

Wine? [Yandere Spain x Reader]

You “settle” in for dinner. Inspired by the prompt “I’m sorry, I know it hurts.”

Cold [Yandere Canada x Reader]

You ran away and that’s not good. Inspired by the prompt “I’m sorry, I know it hurts.”

Under a Bridge [Yandere Norway x Reader]

You’ve been under Norway’s thumb, trapped and caged in more ways than one. You seek help from otherworldly beings, but a deal once made, can’t be undone.

Headcanons

Yandere America General Headcanons

Yandere Japan General Headcanons

Yandere Canada General Headcanons

Yandere Denmark General Headcanons

Yandere Iceland General Headcanons

Inu Yasha

Moving On [Yandere Sesshoumaru x Reader]

You misspeak when instructed by the demon lord who’s taken you. Inspired by the prompt “I didn’t quite hear that, care to repeat yourself?”

You Can Run [Yandere Sesshoumaru x Reader]

For request: “Could you maybe do something with Sesshomaru? Maybe his ‘darling’ trying to escape not knowing that it would literally be impossible?”

A Gift [Yandere Sesshoumaru x Reader]

Your demon lord captor presents you with an unusual and unexpected gift.

In Sickness [Yandere Sesshoumaru x Reader]

You were not often alone with the demon lord who took you captive. Then again, you were not often touched by the demon lord who took you captive, either.

Knives Out

Yandere Ransom Drysdale Imagine

Imagine meeting Ransom Drysdale...

Hook Line and Sinker [Yandere!Ransom Drysdale x Reader]

You’ve broken up with Ransom Drysdale, and you mean it this time. But the freedom that comes with the breakup leads to a series of unexpected coincidences that leave you wondering: was it worth the price?

Yandere Ransom Drysdale Headcanon

Sticking up for Ransom at a family dinner.

Emotional Loan [Yandere Ransom Drysdale x Reader]

You shouldn’t be this nervous about telling your boyfriend that you want to transfer to a college out of state. Ransom is nothing if not generous with you–so why is your stomach in knots?

Labyrinth

The Pain Sweeps Through [Yandere Jareth x Reader]

You’re not the first one he’s brought into the Goblin King’s Labyrinth. You’re not the first one to best him, to get to the center and beat him at his own game. But you are the first one to beat him and give in: “Fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.

Misc Horror Movies

Kim So-Hee x Reader Headcanons (Wishing Stairs)

The Slayers

Yandere Xelloss Headcanons

Trigun

Yandere Knives x Reader Headcanons

Original/No Fandom

Wife or Death [16th Century Witch POV]

You’re a 16th century witch who finds herself pursued through the woods by a witchfinder. Out of options, you pray to the only lord that might save you.

Floss [Yandere Dentist x Reader]

You hate going to the dentist. You really do.

In the Mirror [Doppelganger x Reader]

She just wants to make your life better. Of course, that’s hard to believe when you’re trapped inside a mirror.

And Home Before Dark [Wendigo x Reader]

Living in the practical wilderness of new France, you knew you were never meant to be in the woods after dark. After all, there was something in the forest that was dark and dangerous and it wanted you.

Madame Guillotine [18th Century Aristocrat Reader]

It’s the French Revolution and you’re a former aristocrat on your way to meet your death at the scaffold.

Down the Cellar Stairs [Early 20th Century Reader]

It’s just a game, just a silly game to play on Halloween. But you may find more at the bottom of the cellar stairs that you bargained for.

#afterwitch masterlist #yandere #horror

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hamliet · 4 years

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Pain, Fear, Death, and God: Fyodor and Gogol as Two Halves of Kirillov

God is the pain of the fear of death. Whoever conquers pain and fear will himself become God.

-Alexei Kirillov, Demons

So remember how when I first read Bungou Stray Dogs I started screeching incoherently and turned those screeches into a somewhat-coherent meta on how Fyodor in BSD was modeled after Alexei Kirillov from Dostoyesvky’s Demons?

Well, here’s the follow up.

As I said in my previous meta, Demons is (tied with Crime and Punishment) my favorite novel of all time, and Alexei Kirillov is my very favorite character of all time, in any fictional medium, ever. He’s a walking bundle of paradoxes, existential angst and stunning compassion. But Demons is not necessarily a popular novel by Dostoyevsky standards and so Kirillov, despite being written about by literary critics and Camus, is somewhat obscure. That Asagiri is so clearly inspired by his character is shocking and thrilling for me; I’m pinching myself.

The tl;dr version of Kirillov is that his whole schtick is that he wants to kill himself to prove that he is free and thereby can escape. It’s far more nuanced and complex, as I’ll go into, but essentially both Gogol and Fyodor’s philosophies and goals reflect this.

Gogol does not want to kill Fyodor because he hates Fyodor; rather, it’s because Gogol and Fyodor are two halves of a whole. They are a paradox together, embodying Kirillov’s complexity. Like Kirillov, they are suicidal, because killing one of them is like killing themselves. To achieve their goals, they both need to die.

Fyodor reminds Gogol that he is human and can connect; therefore, Gogol wants to kill him to assert his free will, as he views connections as a cage. Similarly, while we haven’t gotten much insight into Fyodor’s thoughts on Gogol, I think it’s highly likely Fyodor allowed Gogol to kill himself (he thought) because he clings to his beliefs at the expense of his (very much there) empathy, and it’s better for his goals if people who provoke his empathy die. Basically: Fyodor allowed Gogol to “die” not because he doesn’t care about him, but because he does.

For a brief background: Demons itself is an allegory about how people who become consumed by their ideas become possessed by said ideas; thus, they become devils or demons. The actual title of the novel, Бесы, is difficult to translate, hence why it has three different titles in English: The Possessed, The Devils, and Demons. The word “Бесы” in Russian refers to the ones doing the possessing, which is why the latter two are generally considered to be more accurate translations of the title. In particular, the novel demonstrates the tragic consequences of Russian nihilism and singles out moral nihilism. (It’s also looked to as a rather eerie novel, because almost everything it wrote about happening in a--then fictional--political revolution is exactly what happened in Russia a few decades later.)

As I wrote in my previous meta, Fyodor, like Kirillov, is “consumed” by his ideas, something Kirillov laments in Demons. Fyodor’s consumption with his ideals means that he is willing to sacrifice everything for his goals. Gogol, too, shares this trait.

Where they differ is in motivations for their respective plans, motives they share with Kirillov. Kirillov’s master plan is to commit suicide for two reasons: firstly, that he has free will and will thereby inspire society to live freely, and secondly, because he sees life as nonsensically painful and thereby not worth living. The first reflects Gogol’s personal aims, and the second Fyodor’s.

Let’s discuss Kirillov and Fyodor first. Kirillov believes that mankind invented God (keep in mind the context this was written in; God=Russian Orthodox Christianity) to go on living because of the absurdity of life.

Listen: this man was the highest on all the earth, he constituted what it was to live for. Without this man the whole planet with everything on it is--madness only. There has not been one like Him before or since, not ever, even to the point of miracle. This is the miracle, that there has not been and never will be such a one. And if so, if the laws of nature did not pity even This One, did not pity even their own miracle, but made Him, too, live amidst a lie and die for a lie, then the whole planet is a lie, and stands upon a lie and a stupid mockery. Then the very laws of the planet are a lie and a devil's vaudeville. Why live then, answer me, if you're a man.”

Fyodor's disgust for the world and determination to save it from the sin of abilities reflects this same attitude. Life is wrong, so it should cease to exist. Abilities are wrong, so everyone with one should cease to exist. The reason is, most likely, strongly based in how painful Fyodor’s ability has been for him.

Kirillov laments:

“God is necessary and so must exist… But I know He doesn’t and can’t… Surely you must understand that a man with two such ideas can’t go on living?”

...

“If there is no God, then I am God.”

If Kirillov is god, then he is the ultimate master of his fate. Kirillov is very aware of his own limits, and so he thinks this absurd and life pointless.

That conversation continues (Kirillov’s responses are bolded):

“There, I could never understand that point of yours: why are you God?”

“If God exists, all is His will and from His will I cannot escape. If not, it’s all my will and I am bound to show self-will.”

“Self-will? But why are you bound?”

“Because all will has become mine. Can it be that no one in the whole planet, after making an end of God and believing in his own will, will dare to express his self-will on the most vital point? It’s like a beggar inheriting a fortune and being afraid of it and not daring to approach the bag of gold, thinking himself too weak to own it. I want to manifest my self-will. I may be the only one, but I’ll do it.”

This very much reflects Gogol: killing his high moral power (connection and empathy) through the man who identifies himself as a god (Fyodor) to prove his independence and freedom.

But we’ve kind of already seen where this ends:

Gogol you’ve literally shown yourself terrified of dying (which Kirillov is as well). I know Gogol was likely acting in this scene, but given the themes of BSD and Gogol’s character, plus the fact that he did, in fact, choose not to die, I think this is likely somewhat reflective of his true feelings.

But again, Kirillov asserts:

“I am awfully unhappy, for I’m awfully afraid. Terror is the curse of man.… But I will assert my will, I am bound to believe that I don’t believe. I will begin and will make an end of it and open the door, and will save. That’s the only thing that will save mankind and will re-create the next generation physically; for with his present physical nature man can’t get on without his former God, I believe. For three years I’ve been seeking for the attribute of my godhead and I’ve found it; the attribute of my godhead is self-will! That’s all I can do to prove in the highest point my independence and my new terrible freedom. For it is very terrible. I am killing myself to prove my independence and my new terrible freedom.”

As Gogol outlined, what disrupted his plans was Fyodor’s empathy for him, and his empathy for Fyodor. Their connection literally saved his life (hence I kind of doubt their connection will kill them in the end). He cannot die without killing that connection.

Two things almost disrupt Kirillov’s plans. Firstly, and chiefly, it’s his empathy for others. Kirillov is noted to be a character who is extremely kind, good with children, and unafraid to risk himself to help others. When Kirillov finds out his friend betrayed him and is planning to use Kirillov’s suicide to get away with the murder of a third friend, Kirillov is horrified. He refuses to go through with his suicide at first, screaming in horror that his friend is dead and that he unwittingly enabled his killer to end his life. When he does ultimately go through with it, he states that it is because “I want to kill myself now: all are scoundrels.” He goes through with it because his human connections are failing.

Even the novel’s most villainous character concludes “I agree” when Kirillov is called “good.” Kirillov will stop at nothing to help his friends, and he believes all people are good and will become good if they are just told they are. However, the tragic irony of this scene is that the person speaking to Kirillov--Nikolai Stavrogin--is very much a literary example of a psychopath. (Those of you who follow me know I don’t use that word lightly.) However, Stavrogin does not want to be this way; he wants to feel, he wants to be bothered by the terrible sins he’s committed. What he’s asking Kirillov, essentially, is to understand this and call him wrong for what he did, which absolutely no one does in the novel:

“Everything’s good.”

“Everything?”

“Everything. Man is unhappy because he doesn’t know he’s happy. It’s only that. That’s all, that’s all! If anyone finds out he’ll become happy at once...

“And if anyone dies of hunger, and if anyone insults and outrages the little girl, is that good?”

“Yes! ...They’re bad because they don’t know they’re good. When they find out, they won’t outrage a little girl. They’ll find out that they’re good and they’ll all become good, every one of them.”

“Here you’ve found it out, so have you become good then?”

“I am good.”

“That I agree with, though,” Stavrogin muttered, frowning.

“He who teaches that all are good will end the world.”

“He who taught it was crucified.”

“He will come, and his name will be the man-god.”

“The god-man?”

“The man-god. That’s the difference.”

Stavrogin’s examples are based on things he’s done. Kirillov isn’t aware of these deeds, but he does know his friend’s mind better than most of their other friends. The problem is that Kirillov refuses to truly act on this empathy, to accept that men can be scoundrels and good, because he wants what he believes (that all are good) to be so. Kirillov’s too consumed with his desire to end the world (hello Fyodor) to save mankind via proving himself free to actually use his empathy to help his friends. In fact, the murderer points out to Kirillov that if he’d focused more on his friend, he might have been able to prevent the murder.

A similar attitude is reflected in Fyodor’s desire to destroy ability-users (i.e. end the world) and in his interactions with people. He doesn’t put his empathy into forming actual connections, and those he has he deliberately does not invest in (such as when he kills the kid in his introductory chapter). He kills ability users paradoxically because he cares about them and about other people. I wrote about it a bit in this meta here:

Fyodor... lives very much in a world of black and white. He makes Goncharov happy all the time, unable to experience pain or negative emotions. He believes all ability users are a sin and should be destroyed. He’s an idealist in a lot of ways, believing in absolutes (which is also a hallmark of a childish perspective...). he wants to... force every single ability user to feel his pain (that their abilities are a sin) by wiping them out. In short, Fyodor wants empathy despite refusing to listen to the feelings of others. (He understands their feelings; he just chooses to emphasize his pain over theirs.)

Unlike Kirillov, however, whose last scene is renowned as “the most harrowing in all of literature” (I can’t even describe it; it has to be read) I think there’s pretty good reason to hope that Fyodor and Gogol will not end up taking each other out. Because the thing about Kirillov, the reason his character resonates so much with me, is the second reason his plans are almost disrupted: it’s how desperately he wants to live. He just wants to know that his life matters. The way Kirillov expresses these desires is absurd in a lot of ways and certainly hyperbolic, but it’s a desire reflected in most of BSD’s characters, and in, well, a lot of us in real life, too.

Empathy and genuine human connection are the greatest powers in BSD’s world, as we saw recently through Atsushi getting the location of the page from empathizing with Sigma by telling him what he most wanted to know: that he mattered.

Sigma now knows, to an extent, that he matters. At least, he’s been told as much.

Gogol states that Sigma is key to his plans succeeding: Sigma’s ability can tell him Fyodor’s ability, which will enable Gogol to kill Fyodor. Except... Sigma’s ability might just work in an way that cultivates empathy post-connection with Atsushi. If Sigma can trust that he matters, despite having been created by the page and having been abused and subjected to all manner of lies and exploitation, he might be key to Fyodor and Gogol’s conflict resolution rather than to them actually killing each other.

Fyodor matters despite having an ability that seems to make him unable to touch people--because he can touch people with his empathy. (His empathy is, of course, literally what draws Gogol to want to kill him.) Fyodor’s empathy with Gogol has already physically saved Gogol.

Gogol matters even if he is understood by someone, because empathy is a strength and not a weakness. Someone understanding him doesn’t make him matter less, and being bound by feelings isn’t actually a bad thing. His connection with Fyodor has already saved his life.

Both Fyodor and Gogol have now saved Sigma at some point. Sigma’s design, of course, is literally split with two different colored halves of his hair, indicating that the artist likely means to symbolize the clash of two halves (see: Q, who represents how soukoku (Dazai and Chuuya) are two halves of a whole in terms of their best and worst traits). However, they exist in one person, and Sigma seems reasonably stable for someone with his situation.

Additionally, Fyodor and Gogol both are also somewhat modeled after Rodion Raskolnikov, the protagonist of Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, whose name literally means “split” in Russian. (Actually, Kirillov is very much a more internal, tragic version of Raskolnikov.) Like Kirillov, Raskolnikov is a paradox embodied: he’s stunningly empathetic and kind (rushing into a burning building to save orphans), but his philosophy is that it’s fine for him to kill others because he’s a “Napoleon” (special figure; “man-god,” to use Kirillov’s term).

But what is split is ultimately made whole in Crime and Punishment. Raskolnikov meditates on the raising of Lazarus from the dead and essentially resurrects himself, redeems himself.

I highly doubt Gogol and Fyodor’s story will end with them dead because:

It’s BSD and nobody stays dead unless you’re Oda or a red shirt;

Gogol and Sigma have already served us fake-out deaths, so it’s a lot to ask your audience to buy another death from the same character (killing Fyodor is essentially Gogol killing himself);

them surviving and having Fitzgerald-esque redemption arcs very much fits with the themes of Dostoyevsky’s works and specifically with the book after which Fyodor’s ability is named;

resurrection seems to be a motif with everything involving Fyodor, from Cannibalism to this current arc.

#bsd meta #fyogol #bsd 79 #bungou stray dogs meta #fyodor dostoyevsky #nikolai gogol #alexei kirillov #demons #nikolai stavrogin #bsd sigma #sigma #atsushi nakajima #bsd theory

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cherrieflavouredheadcanons · 5 years

Text

Rules

I realized I have never made an official rule post so here it is.

General Rules

No triggering asks (self-harm, suicide etc)

NSFW is okay, just no incest and stuff like that

Please no cheating asks, cheating makes me uncomfortable so please understand that.

I only write character x reader, so please no character x character or character x Oc.

While I have no character limit please keep it to an reasonable amount

I mostly keep the reader gender neutral and will specify it should the reader be of a specific gender!

I am a student so it might take me some time to answer headcanons.

I don't do requests in specific order the ones I have more inspiration for will be done first.

This is how I interpret the characters and how I see them acting in the given situation.

I am an adult, but anything 18+ will be tagged as such and should not be read by minors.

BNHA Specific Rules

I write for :

Class 1-A ( mostly the boys but if you request i will try and do the girls as well)

Shinsou

Aizawa

Dabi

Big three

Hawks

Monoma

Overhaul

Shigaraki

It should be noted: I'm not up to date with bnha at all anymore, I haven't read the manga since the dabi reveal so keep that in mind should you request for bnha

Bungou Stray Dogs specific rules

I write for:

The Armed detective Agency (except Kenji)

Chuuya Nakahara

Akutagawa Ryunosuke

Tachihara Michizō

Poe

Nikolai Gogol

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Sigma

Saigiku Jōno

Tetchō Suehiro

Haikyuu!! specific rules

I write for basically all the characters, should someone be a little harder for I will try anway but let the requestor know!

Genshin Impact specific rules

I write for:

Kayea

Diluc

Venti

Razor

Albedo

Zhongli

Childe

Chongyun

Xingqiu

Xiao

Ningguang

Beidou

Scaramouche/ Wanderer

Thoma

Kazuha

Ayaka

Ayato

Baal

Yae Miko

Gorou

Itto

Yelan

Tighnari

Cyno

Al Haitham

Baizhou

Kaveh

Lyney

Lynette

Neuvillette

Wriothesley

Dottore

Dainsleif

Aether

Lumine

List will be expanded as story goes on!

Attack on titan specific rules

I am a manga reader so there will be spoilers, but they are always marked as such!

I write for:

104th cadet squad

Warriors

Erwin

Levi

Hanji

Yelena

Niccolo

Colt

Obey me specific rules

I write for :

Every charachter

Luke headcanons should they be requested will obviously just be platonic

Honkai star rail specific rules

I write for:

Every charachter aside from Yanqing and bailu (I'm up to date in the story so penacony charachters can be requested)

Twisted wonderland specific rules

I write for:

Every Nrc student, should Ortho be requested it will always be strictly platonic.

I'm up to date with the story on the eng server but I do kinda know what happens on the jap. server

Thank you for following these!

#cherrieheadcanons #cherry speaks #rules #bnha #bnha imagines #bsd #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios #bsd headcanons #bsd x reader

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thebrookesnook · 4 years

Text

Royalties

University AU! Bungou Stray Dogs Feat. Genderbend

Okay, I've thought of this idea for a while now. I'm not sure if my concept for this fic is final and I may change some things later on, but here's what I've came up with.

The Concept

So this universe will include the following ships:

Soukoku [Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya]

Shin Soukoku [Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi]

RanPoe [Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe]

FyoLai [Fyodor Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol]

Arthur Rimbaud/Paul Verlaine (foster parents of Chuuya)

OdaAngo [Oda Sakunosuke/Sakaguchi Ango]

And more as the story progresses.

However as mentioned in the subtitle, there will be three characters whose genders are changed. These include:

Nakahara Chuuya

Nakajima Atsushi

Edgar Allan Poe (who'll be Edythe Allan Poe in the story)

Yes. These three will be females in the story. One of these reasons why is because I got inspired from a South Park fanfiction [The New Girl by Guestswithoutbags in Archive of Our Own] that had a similar concept except the later is set in highschool. Another reason why is because I love the idea of Female!Chuuya, Female!Atsushi and Female! Edgar, especially Female!Edgar because I rarely see any of her in the works.

Also the canon ages of the characters are losely followed here with minor changes for the sake of the plot. I do apologize.

The first story in this universe will be Chuuya-centric and the rest will be through other's perspective.

The Plot of the First Story.

Now, let's talk about the story itself. So in this universe, Chuuya and Dazai grew up as childhood friends.

Chuuya was once in an orphange in France and was isolated before being adopted by Verlaine and Rimbaud. She doesn't know who her biological parents were, all she knew was that both of them were dead. She loves her new family. She loves being around Ozaki Kouyou, who's also adopted, because she [Kouyou] teaches her [Chuuya] how to be a normal girl. She loves Rimbaud and sees him as more motherly figure, someone she's comfortable with talking about her feelings. Verlaine, however, is stricter than Rimbaud but she loves him nonetheless and sees him as her fatherly figure. One of the tings Rimbaud gives her as a welcoming gift was his hat, to which Chuuya becomes obsessed with and wears it all the time. It's understandable, it's the first gift she receives from someone.

Dazai lived with Mori Ougai because his family had disowned him. He was given the name Dazai Osamu by Mori. He doesn't call Mori father nor does Mori call him son. Dazai just lives with Mori.

(Note: Mori is the worst around this time and later on he'll change.)

Rimbaud visited Mori's clinic regularly for check-ups due to his cold intolerance or cold sensitivity (which is an unusual discomfort felt by some people when in a cool environment). Most of the time he'd bring Kouyou with him, but one day Rimbaud brought Chuuya with him.

This is how Chuuya and Dazai met. Dazai and Chuuya friendship involves a lot of hair pulling (from Dazai) and suprinsingly painful jabs and punches (from Chuuya). Despite their irritation with each other, they still hang out with each other. Some may say they were stuck to the hip.

They then went to the same elementary and middle school. Along the way, Chuuya started to develop a crush on Dazai. During elementary, Chuuya made friends with students who call themselves the Sheep who she met through Yuan and Shirase. Dazai commented that they were a group of delinquents or troublemakers and that she shouldn't hang out with them or else she would get influenced to be disobedient to her owner. To which Chuuya kicked him in response. Conflicted and hesitant, Chuuya decided to befriend the Sheep. Dazai felt a wave of emotion that he didn't understand and he started ignoring Chuuya.

At the end of elementary, Dazai had befriended Sakaguchi Ango and Oda Sakunosuke whom he met at a bar that Dazai stumbled into.

(Note: I'll leave it up to interpretation whether or not Dazai entered the bar purposely or by accident)

If the rift between Chuuya and Dazai wasn't clear enough, Dazai's new found friendship had made it clear. At the beginning of middle school, Chuuya and Dazai rarely talk to one another. Almost as if they had become strangers. Yet, Chuuya's feelings for Dazai remained the same. Everytime Chuuya tries to talk to Dazai, he'd straight up ignore her and pretend she didn't exist. It hurt Dazai as much as it hurt Chuuya.

Chuuya thought things couldn't get worse than that but then it did. Second year, Rimbaud had passed due to his condition getting worse. This had caused Verlaine's mental state to deteriorate and as a result he left Kouyou and Chuuya alone by themselves. Even though Rimbaud had left money for them, it was only enough for their tuition for Chuuya's third year in middle school. Kouyou being six years older than Chuuya (around 19 years old) started working in cafes to earn income for the two of them. To which Chuuya feels guilty for and plans to work part-time as soon as she reaches 15 as well as earn a scholarship for highschool.

Then Dazai leaves the school around the end of second year without even saying goodbye to Chuuya.

(Note: Not because Oda Sakunosuke died, he lives in this universe. But it relates to Oda)

This breaks Chuuya's spirit. It also caused her athazagoraphobia, the fear of being forgotten or abandoned among other issues.

She also stopped hanging around the Sheep too. Then something happens to Chuuya that would scar her for the rest of her life.

(Note: I'm also leaving that because I'm still unsure about adding the scene or not.)

The event had caused a change in Chuuya's personality being closed-off to others and quiet. Shirase and Yuan are upset with Chuuya and decide to confront her about it but Chuuya didn't want to talk to them about it. Which increased their disappointment with her and began telling rumors about Chuuya. Thus, for the end of her middle school, she had being outcasted and bullied by her peers. Despite this though, she kept up her grades and was able to earn a scholarship to an international highschool for foreigners and locals alike.

This is the sceond act and third act of the story takes place. At the start of her highschool year, she befriended Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Edythe Allan Poe due to their similar backstory of being ostracized during middle school (or in Fyodor's case, in senior school). Then the story follows their adventures in highschool and their slow rise to popularity. By that I mean, they became famous for defending those who were like them and make them proud of themselves.

(Note: Cliche, i know but i can see them as like protectors or defenders of the bullied and ostracized but their means isn't as heroic as their ends)

Later on, the Akutagawa siblings are accepted into the trio's group. Then the student body started calling them as the 'Royalties'. The origin of the name came from a student council member who had played cards with Dostoyevsky during an school event and recalls him identifying his group according to the royalty cards in the deck.

(Note: I tried look for a term to refer to the aces, jacks, queens and kings, but they were only two I could find. One was the royalty cards which includes jacks, queens and kings but doesn't have aces. The second one was the honorable cards which includes tens, aces, jacks, queens and kings but I don't know what to refer to ten other than ten. It also doesn't match the others, so I chose to use royalty cards)

Accorrding to Dostoyevsky:

the aces are the Akutagawa siblings. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke is the Ace of Spades and Akutagawa Gin is the Ace of Clubs;

his jack is Edythe, the Jack of Spades;

the queen is Chuuya, the Queen of Hearts;

and his role as King of Diamonds.

Thus, the name Royalties stuck. After all they were the ones running the school since the principle doesn't bother with the student body nor the staff. However, some began rumors about what Dostoyevsky said, specifically his wording. One of which that holds prevalence, is that Chuuya and the Akutagawa siblings doesn't belong under Dostoyevsky's deck. Meaning they have another king and began speculating about who it is. But that's a story for another time.

My thoughts

So that's all my coherent ideas about this half-baked universe I created.

I will come back and edit some stuff if I want to rework this universe and y'know actually start writing it.

Thanks for taking the time read this. Any constructive criticism and comments are very much appreciated and welcomed because I know I'm not a writer, I'm more of a reader.

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blackandwhitemusician · 6 years

Text

On “Crime and Punishment”, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and Bungou Stray Dogs

ft. Nikolai Gogol. LONG POST! Also spoilers for the novel/manga if you haven’t read it already/haven’t caught up yet.

Here are some thoughts I have on certain parallels between Crime and Punishment and Fyodor Dostoyevsky in real life and as portrayed in BSD, also some speculations as to how this book and the real Dostoyevsky might have inspired his BSD version.

First, on the real book itself (more like the English translation of the book):

The main character in Crime and Punishment, Raskolnikov, killed an old woman he deemed as wicked and worthless. He was so shaken by the idea of murder that he spent an entire month tormenting himself over it, lost his gut during the actual murder, and proceeded to make himself fall ill from the mental torture. He thought he did it for money, but the more he looked into the event and into himself, the more he realized he just did it to prove that he could (my own interpretation).

“There is only one thing, one thing needful: one has only to dare! Then for the first time in my life an idea took shape in my mind which no one had ever thought of before me, no one! I saw clear as daylight how strange it is that not a single person living in this mad world has had the daring to go straight for it all and send it flying to the devil! I… I wanted to have the daring… and I killed her.”

Raskolnikov also wrote an article on the psychology and mental state of a criminal, and what leads someone to commit a crime. Raskolnikov and another character, Porfiry, used these concepts to discuss a technique used by Porfiry to trap criminals into confessing, which the two of them referred to as a “cat and mouse” game.

Raskolnikov classified people into “ordinary” and “extraordinary”. According to him, the former follow and obey the law, while the latter transgress it. The former’s role is to follow and maintain the order, while the latter seeks to destroy the status quo and establish a new order. It follows that when a person of “extraordinary” conduct deems it necessary to commit a crime to achieve their objective, they can find the will to do it.

“The crimes of these men are of course relative and varied; for the most part they seek in very varied ways the destruction of the present for the sake of the better. But if such a one is forced for the sake of his idea to step over a corpse or wade through blood, he can, I maintain, find himself, in his conscience, a sanction for wading through blood.”

This does not mean, however, that people of “extraordinary” nature are exempt from feeling guilt. In fact, Raskolnikov recognized that if these individuals do in fact feel guilt from shedding blood, it would be their greatest punishment. The worst punishment for a criminal is not so much the prison as it is by way of their own conscience.

Yet, sometimes such a punishment is essential to make way for change. Raskolnikov compared these “extraordinary” individuals to the likes of Napoleon, who by social standards should be considered the worst criminals ever lived considering the amount of blood they shed, yet are revered as heroes for the change they ushered.

I immediately thought of this:

BSD Gogol’s character fits perfectly in the scheme of Crime and Punishment. The real Dostoyevsky also mentioned Gogol several times in Crime and Punishment, when discussing the topic of morality.

Whatever the objective of the BSD “Decay of Angels” is, I’m fairly certain it has to do with change - they are willing to commit evil to destroy the status quo and advance change. These “villains” are certainly not the usual kind of “evil cause I like it”, or “evil cause I am proudly anti-heroic figures”.

Going back to Crime and Punishment, there are a few other characters that I think are of relevance to the portrayal of BSD Fyodor Dostoyevsky:

Porfiry: an investigator, who was convinced Raskolnikov was the murderer in question, and went to almost extreme lengths to psycho him into confessing. He had a pretty sharp mind, and used the sadistic investigative method of trapping his “prey” by letting him roam freely in his natural habitat, which Porfiry believe would make the criminal lower his guard and eventually fall into the trap himself. Raskolnikov realized the trap, of course.

Svidrigailov: an extreme representation of a type of “extraordinary” man, he was portrayed as, to me, a nihilist and hedonist. Svidrigailov doesn’t seem to care about morality, and only wants to satisfy his own pleasures. Whether he harms others in the process is irrelevant to him. He can commit random acts of kindness because the spontaneity of that action gives him pleasure.

While I don’t see these characters as similar to Raskolnikov, they certainly brings out his character in various ways. Raskolnikov understood Porfiry’s investigative methods perfectly (I bet he basically thought “If it was me, that’s what I’d do”). Porfiry also recognized and acknowledged Raskolnikov’s intellectual depth and potential, and was interested in him intellectually. Svidrigailov, on the other hand, mirrors Raskolnikov’s own despair and cynicism, if only more pronounced in the extreme. One can say Svidrigailov is the embodiment of despair. He is totally amoral, and radically indifference to the feelings of others. His radical attitude could have been brought about by his realization and acceptance that evil is inherent in the world, and as such, evil and vice to him is only an “occupation of a sort”. His bleak outlook only serves to worsen his boredom with the world, and prompts him to seek pleasure for its own sake. He views eternity as “a bath house... black and grimy and spiders in every corner”, to which Raskolnikov responds in horror “Can it be you can imagine nothing juster and more comforting than that?”

Next, on the BSD portrayal of Fyodor:

Now there has been very little detail about his personal motivations, but I see BSD Fyodor as a combination of all three characters: Raskolnikov, Svidrigailov, and Porfiry, maybe more of Svidrigailov than the rest. BSD Fyodor is definitely among the “extraordinary” people Raskolnikov described, maybe even to the extreme. Of course, there is also the personality of the real Dostoyevsky.

Regarding killing people and messing up their families as a petty problem while looking for a happy chit chat about it with one of those he just messed up, that is as Svidrigailov as it gets. (I know Fyo was probably joking, but still)

It has been suggested time and time again that BSD Fyodor might have tired of, been disillusioned or discontent with the world as it is, and sought to correct it (while also having some entertainment along the way). He specifically has issues with special ability users, which still doesn’t stop him from killing normal people if they get entangled in the conflict. This motivation possibly stems from his hatred for his own ability, which seemed as destructive as it gets. Alternatively, BSD Fyodor might also see death as the ultimate freedom special ability users can be granted to be free from their “sins”, which refer to their abilities. As such, he took it upon himself to deliver them.

The constant mention of “freedom” of the will also strike me as a parallel to real Dostoyevsky’s discussion of freedom in Crime and Punishment.

“Anyone who is greatly daring is right in their eyes.”

“He who despises most things will be a lawgiver among them and he who dares most of all will be most in the right.”

In other words, if you act of your own free will, you are right. Anyone who wills it can transgress the law.

What really intrigued me is how BSD Fyodor saw himself as a divine figure delivering judgement for those he considers “sinners”. I doubt such a strong motivation came about just because he discovered his super human ability one day, which has been suggested as something to do with instant killing. I see a possibility of him having been alienated, ostracized and possibly imprisoned as a result of his ability and his intelligence, seeing how completely unfazed he was by the treatment he received in his prison cell at the Mafia base. His ability would have been dangerous on its own, but his intelligence makes him an even more dangerous individual. Another characteristic of him that interests me is the complete lack of guilt or remorse over his actions. If we assume this is a reference to Svidrigailov, it might have been a result of his mindset that evil is inherent in the world (which fits BSD Fyodor). If I have to guess, he would have been a child who never played with other kids, had no lessons in social etiquette and no guardian figure to teach him about the outside world, heavily religious, either avoided, feared or beaten up regularly, probably had no concept of remorse, probably had to fend for himself and used his intelligence to get the upper hand by gambling, manipulating or tricking others.

BSD Fyodor was probably regarded as a “demon” for as long as he lived. He probably also felt the suffocating imprisonment extended from his home life to the rest of society. He probably got tired and bored of interacting with others who just went on their normal lives complaining about their misfortunes, oblivious to everything else that happened around them. He probably never once saw himself as one of them.

It was also suggested in Crime and Punishment that through suffering and torturing himself with his conscience, Raskolnikov was able to still feel human (my own interpretation). Could it be that BSD Fyodor was past that stage of being human, since he doesn’t seem to be suffering from the weight of his crimes? Could that be the reason why he sees himself as the substitute for God?

Regarding BSD Fyodor’s ability

Not much has been mentioned in the manga, and even in Dead Apple all we got is something along the lines of “Fyodor and his ability are two sides of the same coin”. What strikes me is how Fyodor is portrayed to represent Crime, and his ability Punishment. This is all speculation, but I think his ability definitely has to do with delivering punishment for a crime (no shit!). But whose crime, and on what condition? Could it be that his ability only takes effect if the criminal repents and experiences remorse from their own crime?

Regarding BSD Dazai

Probably the most hotly discussed parallel in the fandom. Sure, Dazai and Fyodor have been described as being made of the same stuff from the start due to their intellect which is unparalleled by anyone else but these two, but they didn’t really strike me as similar until I encountered this line from Crime and Punishment.

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”

At first glance, this quote describes both Dazai and Fyodor very well. I have no question about Dazai having a “large intelligence and a deep heart”, and so he will continue to have “great sadness” in the form of alienation and loneliness (and self-hatred and guilt to an extent). Fyodor may have an equally great intelligence, but it is still unclear to me what lies in his heart. I think, he at least would have felt loneliness and the boredom of existence at some point, just like Dazai did. Their sharpness would have enabled them to sniff out the most obscure clues to the darkest intentions in people, which might have led them to regard human beings as foolish and utterly selfish creatures. The dangerous and unique nature of their abilities would have rendered them untouchable by others, further worsening their alienation.

“If God does not exist, then I will become God.”

What kind of experience would prompt someone to deliver such a line as that?

It sounds less like a divine sentence than a cry of disillusionment and cynicism to me, which is really... sad??

Other trivial stuff:

- The real Gogol was apparently a drama queen and a master of satire.

- The real Dostoyevsky was exiled in Siberia for reading banned works. He subsequently wrote “Notes from the House of the Dead” to describe this experience.

- The real Dostoyevsky frequently discussed the idea that man does not think rationally most of the time, and as such, man’s actions are not always predictable.

- In Crime and Punishment, Raskolnikov passionately loved Sonya, a destitute young woman whom he saw as his figure of salvation, and he once bowed to her because she represented “the sufferings of all humanity”.

- Svidrigailov was hinted to see the world as a dirty, meaningless playground in which he was the actor, and kept up his act until the end. When he decided to shoot himself after being rejected by the one woman he loved, he chose to do it in front of a complete stranger at the American embassy. His last words were “When you are asked, you just say he was going, he said, to America.”

Credits for screenshots go to @dazaiscans.

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