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wittlesissyb4by · 3 days

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Normalcy

"I'm so sorry! This…this never happens!!”

She drew her lips in a line and nodded, like she’d heard it a thousand times before, then went back to smacking her gum as she balled up the soggy diaper with practiced precision.

“No! I’m serious! I’m a grown man!! It’s not like I walk around pissing myself all the time!”

She scoffed, then shrugged. “Well you weren’t doing much walking—first of all—more like waddling. But you mean to tell me you never wet yourself? You’ve never wet a diaper before?”

“No…i…”

She inclined her head to the corner of the room, where a big sack of loaded diapers sat in a blue see-through bag.

“Okay…fine, I do. But only after a very long time period!! You don’t understand! My wife will leave me in them for the whole day!”

“I’ve only been here for an hour…”

“Yes but…” i wanted to tell her that was because my wife had made me drink three entire baby bottles of nasty fluids before she left. I tried to hold it. I really did. I didn’t want her little ‘babysitter’ to see me in a soggy diaper. In hindsight, i should have just let it all out with my wife and begged her to change me before she went off with that other dude. “It’s not a regular thing!”

“She told me you wet the bed.” The girl said, hardly even blinking as she taped my plump padding into a ball.

It was hard to explain that one away. Sure, there were several drunken nights where I’d blacked out and woken up with wet sheets in our marital bed. My wife was none too happy, but somehow those incidents kept happening even when I was sober, until she finally grew sick of it.

“So how long have you been in diapers?” The girl asked, setting my old one to the side and grabbing a fresh pamper. She asked it so casually, like it was a common point of conversation.

“3 months…” I said, unable to deny it anymore. “For the last two weeks it’s been 24/7. She…threw out all my underwear.”

The girl nodded as if nothing were out of the ordinary, tapping my thighs, apparently signaling for me to lift. I did so without incident, allowing her to slide the new diaper underneath.

“Do you make poo poo’s in them too?”

“No!” I said instinctively, but again she looked at me like a rugrat attempting an obvious lie.

“So if I go put your head in that bag, you won’t suffocate under a cloud of your own shit?”

Her words were cold, I had a feeling she’d do it too.

“Okay…fine. I do…”

“Do what?”

“P-poop…”

“Poop where?” She grinned, still smacking her gum, “I want you to tell me.”

I scrunched up my nose, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I poop in the diapers.”

But she wasn’t satisfied, “now tell me wike a baybee!”

She couldn’t be serious, but when her face turned stern with impatience, it told me that she probably wasn’t someone I should cross.

“Uh…i…” I felt my voice growing smaller, higher, “I make poo poo’s in my pampies!!”

She smiled wide at that. “How do you poop?”

“I…what?” I asked, voice returning to normal.

“How do you do it? Do you crouch? Get down on hour haunches and make a pushy? Or have you learned to go in any position already? All the men I babysit have a different method. It’s adorable. One of them even has to sit on the potty in order to go!“

“I just…do it…I guess. I dunno?” Usually squatting, it came out surprisingly easy that way, but I didn’t want to tell her that, and she didn’t press further, just seemed intent on making me blush.

“Well…I don’t feel like changing a poopy diaper today. So you’re going to get the plug, okay?”

P-plug?

She reached into her diaper bag that she brought herself, and pulled out a rather large silicon buttplug.

“Oh…i dunno…” I said, squirming on top of the diaper splayed out beneath me. “My wife and I don’t really do butt stuff…”

But she just smiled and squirted some lube on it, painting the glob over it with her fingers. “It’s cute that you think you have a say in the matter.” She giggled, “legs up!”

Before I knew it, my ankles were in the air. It was like she had some sort of power over me that I couldn’t resist.

I winced as she pressed the plug to my hole, gently working it in and out, in and out. I had to bite my lip to keep the squeals (and moans?) in. It felt…surprisingly good.

By the time she’d worked it all the way in, there was a little puddle leaking out of my chastity cage. It had spread onto my belly button while my legs were in the air.

“Sorry…” I said as she grabbed a baby wipe to clean up the sticky mess I’d made.

"Don't worry about it.” She smiled, amused. “It's...normal..."

“Is it?” I asked, feeling a sense of relief.

“Sure.” She shrugged, but it came off sarcastic. “Well…not normal to be a grown man in diapers. To poop said diapers. Not normal to have your wife go off and hire a babysitter to change your diapers. And definitely not normal to have another man fuck your wife. But leaking a little cum through your chastity cage while getting a plug shoved up your ass?” She tossed the sticky wipe down into my open diaper, lifting the front so she could tape it on, “yea, I guess that’s pretty ‘normal’…”

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allllium · 1 day

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Heyaaa, I have a request! If it's not too much trouble, have you listened to too sweet by Hozier.. that song with the tf 141 boys (if it could be Ghost, it would be great!!)

Thanks in advance!!! And it's perfectly fine if you don't wanna!

~ I'm really sorry this took so long, I have not been feeling great but here it is. I hope you like this because honestly I am terrible at comprehending songs but I think this fits pretty well :)

~ If you're not happy with this for any reason please let me know and I will happily redo it with your advice <3

~ Fluff, WC: 1,189

You have a crush on Simon Riley. You know this, and so does everyone else, including him. Despite the very obvious adoration on your part he's never said anything about it.

You honestly have no idea how he feels about you and you're not sure you want to know. You do tons of little things for him and he does things for you, but that's all your relationship entails.

You are both so different it's not like you could ever fit together so perfectly, right?

I take my whiskey neat

“Here you are Lt.” You slide him a drink across the table. He makes a face behind his mask that you now recognize as his scowl. “Don't make that face at me.”

“You can't even see my face,” he replies, in his signature thick accent. “And I don't need you buying me drinks.”

“Well that's too bad 'cause’ I did. Don't tell me you're gonna let good whiskey go to waste.”

His deep brown eyes stare at you for a heavy moment before picking up the drink, lifting his mask just enough to show his cut jaw and full lips.

“Usually this is where I get a thank you.” You taunt him, trying not to let your gaze linger on what you can see of his perfect but slightly messed up face.

“Don't push your luck, Sargent.”

My coffee black…

“Oh dark like your soul, ain't that right Lt.” You gesture towards his black mug of black coffee.

Simon takes a deep breath as he takes in your words, his chest rising and falling in annoyance. He shakes his head silently, apparently not wanting to pleasure you with a response.

“Seriously, how do you drink that?” You put your hand on his perfect arm to push him out of the way of the coffee pot.

“Oh let me guess you take your coffee with a pound of sugar.” He rolls his eyes at you, in more of an attitude than you appreciate.

“Incorrect. I'm sweet enough as it is.” You smile at him while you turn around to stir your drink.

“Maybe a little too sweet don't you think?”

“Only to you.” You mutter under your breath.

…And my bed at three

“Oi Lt, what are you doing up at this hour?” You take amusement at the way this giant of a man jumps slightly at your voice.

“Did you just say oi?” He asks as if he didn't just hear you say it.

“Yes I did, do we need to get your hearing checked?” You make fun of him for the hundredth time that day.

“Why?” His gruff voice cuts through the air.

“I want it on record that I don't appreciate this attitude of yours. And I said "oi” because I'm becoming more like you.”

“I don't say oi.”

“I don't believe you. You sound like you say it.” You shrug and take a seat on the couch next to you.

“What does that mean?” He sits down next to you but he seems like he doesn't want a real answer.

“Your voice.”

“What's wrong with my voice?” This time it seems like he actually wants to know what you think.

“Oh nothing. It's a nice voice but it just gives me oi vibes.” He stares at you like you're crazy.

“I have a nice voice do I?”

“Don't let it get to your head.” You lay your head.on his shoulder.

No one speaks for a while but eventually Simon sits up. “It's three in the morning, we should get to bed.”

“Yeah that's probably smart.” You give him a big smile when you stand up. “Goodnight Lt.”

You're too sweet for me

“And here you are.” You take a dramatic bow as you hand Simon his gift, acting as if you just delivered the most important thing in the world.

“What is this?” He asks with a tone of impatientence.

“A gift.”

“It's not a holiday-” You quickly cut him off.

“Or your birthday I know, but I remember you saying something about it and got it for you”

“How do you know it's not my birthday, I've never told you that.” He pauses for a split second before continuing, “Did you look at my files?”

“That's not important, open your gift.” He shakes his head but opens the bag you've given him.

Quickly, he pulls out a mask just like the one he's currently wearing. A mask you've handmade just for him.

“What is this?” He instantly demands.

“That is what we call a mask sir. I remember you told me about that one having an annoying hole so I thought I'd help you out. Originally I was just gonna patch the hole but then I figured that mask has been through a lot so you deserved a new one.”

He loudly clears his throat. “I hope you know there won't be a gift in return.”

“I don't expect one, simply doing a nice thing.”

“Well thank you Sargent.” You smile at his thanks, feeling how much he means it.

“Anytime.” Is the only word you get in before he runs off.

You're too sweet for me

“You know this is basically our third date.” You randomly blurt out. You're sitting with Simon in a coffee shop off base. You don't know what you were expecting with Simon off base but one thing you never thought about when inviting him out is his absence of the mask.

Obviously wearing it would draw more attention than usual but now you're sitting straight across from the face of the man you're practically fawning over.

“This is not a date.” He defends roughly.

“Yes it is, our first was dinner and second was the bar so that makes this the third.”

“Those weren't dates, just outings between friends.” He runs his eyes everywhere but your face.

“Aww so you admit we're friends.” You can't help but tease. “But I'm being serious Simon. You can't deny it forever.”

“Yes I can.” He fiddles with his drink as you continue your mini interrogation.

“No you can't. I know you like me, Lt. Why won't you say it.”

“You're different.” He begins.

“If you start to say I'm dumb you're getting punched.”

“No! Of course not. You're different from me and I don't know if we would work.”

“Bullshit. Spill it.”

“Fine, you're too sweet.” He spits out as if it was fire coming out.

You can't help the bubbling laugh that spills out your mouth. “Too sweet? What does that even mean?” You ask him, still laughing.

“I don't know. You're too sweet to me, you give me things and you say all the right things and I don't think I could give all that back to you.”

‘I don't want you to give me anything back. I want you to give me you, you're too sweet for me too Lt. Even if it is in a different looking way.” You slide your hand across the table to lay on his. He returns your hold and gives you a smile that is uniquely his. This is all you need.

#simon ghost riley x reader #call of duty simon riley #call of duty simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost cod #domestic ghost #ghost simon riley x reader #simon 'ghost' riley x reader #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley x gn!reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley fanfic

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deluweil · 15 hours

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Here's the thing, I have nothing against Lou/Tommy, but the accessive enthusiasm of him returning and everyone already talking about him showing up for next season,

Which if any of you watched for the last 7 seasons, it is very possible because writers love to drag temps over to the next seasons because apparently breakups are for season beginners, mostly (except for taylor),

is very off-putting.

1. Because the dude literally just showed up and they haven't even had one worthy make out session to even call it a situationship.

2. Buck hurt Eddie physically to get into Tommy's mouth and pants, which ruined it for me from the start tbh and Tommy had nothing to do with it, he was just there.

3. Buck has made Maddie's day, his coming out party - that is a big NO in my book. Because one, dude you literally came out, what if you decide eventually that you don't want this or don't want this with this specific first-guy-ever anymore? And two SHE IS YOUR SISTER THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS HAVE HER LEAVE ON HER HONEYMOON BEFORE YOU KILL YOUR PARENTS OF A HEART- ATTACK.

Even if they "seem accepting" to Buck’s face, this takes time to process, something better revealed in time and in private, once one is sure. Not thinking and talking about this the whole wedding!

And yes, I know, Buck is impulsive, but think for a second, would you want your baby brother to hijacke your wedding after so long of planning it? I know I would have killed him.

Would have told him in advance that if he's bringing his new boyfriend to my wedding, he better tell our parents first. Because this is my fucking day!

I love Buck, but his self-centered personality rubs me the wrong way this season.

Maybe because I wanted to see him growing the fuck up after 7 years and so many traumas and experiences and therapy that he went through, but nope, same old Buck, only instead of the dating the girl who gave him attention, he's seeing the guy who gave him attention.

It's annoying, it's off putting and frankly I am so mad at the writers and Tim for this because these characters deserved better.

And don't talk to me about representation because Shonda did the bi representation in Station 19 perfectly to the point that I was bummed that Travis and Eli didn't end up as endgame even though I loved Emmett with Travis.

Again somehow the 911 writers managed to taint for me what should have been and amazing experience, independent completely of buddie, but no they managed to not only mix Eddie and Buck with Tommy, the whole thing came at the expense of Eddie, physically and mentally, because not only did Buck not apologized to Eddie, Eddie also lost his new friend who now fawns over Buck.

So screw this storyline, I hate it and I hate how everyone is OK with everything that happened in the story, just because Buck is doing a dude(kissing really, there was no doing yet).

There's a lot of blocking in my future, most are just ppl who either came in now because of bi Buck or those who came from other disappointing fandoms and are just here for the rep not the actual story.

But some of us have been here since S1, we want the rep, but we want it to be complimenting, we want to fall in love with the character before it turns into a LI, we want the emotion, the connection, the obvious love building over several years.

Like Casey and Gabby and Severide and Stella, like Maya and Carina, like Travis and Emmett (even though I liked Eli better for him) like Sullivan and Natasha.

I want an emotional payout, give up the surprises, and the wrecked trucks and ships, just tell a good story!

And for the love of all that's holy, enough with the last-minute changes, those never turn out well in the long run. They literally started from scratch when they made the switch between Eddie and Buck.

Also in my opinion, Eddie had a LOT more chemistry with Lou/Tommy than Buck. It would have made so much more sense, in the catholic guilt and internal homophobia department, the nun and supposedly commitment issues was weak at best.

It could have been epic. 😩

And yes, Buck could have started the season single, no harm in that, maybe make him, I don't know, actually growing into something that he would like without someone else to pet his ego? Go back to therapy, work for the LT. exams, be interim captain, realize his worth and learn to love himself for him, not because someone else gave him attention and that made him preen, get him somewhere worthy. Even lessons with Tommy without involving Eddie in this would have been great.

Just something that shows character development, because up until now all I get is S2/S3 Buck and I've seen that movie before, I want my money back.

I realize this is harsh, and normally, I would stick to the light and fun and ignore the rest, but this had to be said out loud so I can go back to that.

That being said, as I said, I will watch Madney wedding purely for Madney. Anything else is just a bonus. I can't wait for that bachelor party and see wth happens to Chimney.

Happy Monday, my loves. ❤️

#venting #so done with all the bucktommy fawning #i like tommy but ppl you made him into some god he's not #he's just gay and hot for evan #not about buddie #but i am mad on eddie behalf #and that's before we even know what happened at that bachelor party #evan please for the love of god grow the fuck up #fuck who you want it will be hot I'm sure but fucking grow up #eddie diaz #evan buckley #tommy kinard #coming out party #911 spoilers #911 speculation #madney #I'm starting the let the buck grow up movement join me #911 abc

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roomsofangel · 14 hours

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LOVER, PLEASE STAY

chapter four

synopsis you and wooyoung have been best friends for as long as you could remember, always overcoming everything in your friendship even after a few bumps in the road and confessions in the past. you could always trust that no matter wooyoung will always be there, right?

wc 4.3k

chapter warnings mentions of drug usage, wooyoung and yn have an argument / wooyoung breaks down

a/n the fact i update this either everyday or every other day… but hope you guys dont mind </3 the next update will be a little slower due to work and trying to bag these ateez tickets with my partner 🙁

if you’d like to be added to the taglist please either send an ask in my inbox or leave a comment to be added to the taglist! reblogs and comments are also very appreciated! ♥️

“something’s wrong with wooyoung," san mentioned one morning while handing you a dish from beside you that you started washing. you shifted your gaze away from the sink and water and towards him as he leaned against the counter. his side pressed on it a bit more as he continued, "i don't know... but, you notice it, too. don’t you?" his breath came out in an exasperated exhale as he waited for your response.

you gazed down, wanting nothing more than to just focus on how the warm water poured on your hands. the moment was quiet for a few minutes, and your mind raced with all kinds of thoughts. the uncertainty, the silence, and the tension between you and wooyoung recently that was becoming more apparent with every passing day. the strain was starting to wear on you, and that was obvious to everyone around you. “it’s hard not to.” you finally answered after a few minutes of silence, and your voice was solemn and tired.

san frowned at your response, and his expression became more concerned. you could sense the distress in his voice. "do you think we should intervene? what if he ends up like—?“ he started to say, but you interrupted him.

"don't." you said, and your tone was firm. you knew what he was going to say, and you didn't want to hear or think about it. your mind was already spiraling enough, and you didn't need him adding more to it.

san remained silent, looking at you with a mixture of concern and confusion. "but what if..." he began to say but stopped himself, realizing that you already knew. you had already considered that possibility, and it was not something you wanted to think about any further.

“just drop it, okay?" you said, your voice more firm than before as you tried to stop the spiral of thought that was quickly starting to take hold.

san sighed, and the silence that followed weighed heavier than before. "i talked to seonghwa too, you know," he mention. the statement felt somewhat out of place and sudden, and it only added to the tension that surrounded you both. you could sense the strain and stress building up in his words, and you wondered what else he knew or had heard.

"he's worried," san continued, "and so are the rest... they know something's up too. all of them do. but if they ask me, i don't know if i should tell them or not. i mean, it's wooyoung’s own business. i can't just let the secret slip, but.." his voice trailed off, and he let out a long, tired exhale.

"...that’s exactly the problem," san continued, "it’s his own business, but we're all worried about him. i mean, he hasn't been himself for a while now. he’s more reserved, more distant, and there is this strange tension between him and the rest of us. like he's hiding something, or he's just... not there. not fully there."

when you finally became aware of your grip on the dish, the dishes in front of you had already become clean. you were so lost in your thoughts, your head overflowing with memories and worries, that you had failed to notice the mundane task you were supposed to be doing. "i know.." you whispered, because you did. and it pained you that you couldn’t do anything but watch wooyoung destroy himself, or at least that's what it felt like.

"and... and it hurts," you continued softly, as if the admission was too painful for you to keep silent any longer. "it hurts to see him like this, to see him become something... someone that he's not. to see him shut himself off from all of us, to close himself in his own world and not let anyone else in. it’s painful and exhausting."

"he’s like a shell of himself," you went on. "i mean, he's still wooyoung, but... he's not at the same time. and i know i shouldn't say this... but it feels like we've lost him. like the wooyoung we all knew is gone, and there's just... this shell of a person left."

san nodded as he listened to you. he saw the pain and worry in your eyes, and he knew that you needed reassurance. so he held his arms out for you, inviting a hug. "it’s gonna be okay," he tried to reassure the both of you, but he didn't seem so sure himself. it was clear from his tone that he was just as worried, just as unsure. but he needed to remain strong, he needed to believe that things would work out. after all, it had to.

you laid in your bed, staring up at your ceiling and reminiscing over memories. they were just that, memories. it felt like ages ago, it felt like a whole different world. you were weeping over someone who was still alive, and it made no sense. how did you mourn for someone who was still standing in front of you, with a heart still beating? with a breath still being taken at regular intervals? with thoughts that were still running through their head, and feelings that were still taking place in their veins?

you tried to ignore the tears that were threatening to pour at any moment. everything in your room was a reminder of wooyoung and who he used to be. you could see him across the hall in his own bedroom, but...was that really still him? his demeanor seemed to have changed so dramatically that it no longer resembled the person you fell in love with initially. he was becoming someone else, someone you didn't recognize. and you didn't know if you could handle it anymore.

hearing your phone buzz, you shifted to your side to grab it and take a look. it was hongjoong’s text, asking if you wanted to come to see a movie with him and seonghwa. you recalled the last time you spoke with him, and remembered the intensity of the conversation. sure, he was deeply worried about you and was telling you things you needed to hear that night. but it only made you want to hide more since it meant you had to acknowledge more that you and wooyoung were no longer the same.

you wanted to continue living in the blissful bubble you had created where the two of you were fine, and nothing had changed. but the more time you spent in that space, the more the realities of the situation began to sink in, and the more the cracks in your bubble started to appear. so you avoided talking about the truth for as long as you could, until it got to the point where you could no longer deny it.

“that’s your problem, yn!” hongjoong looked at you with a concerned expression as he stood in front of you with san and seonghwa who matched the same energy. they had seen the situation unfold before enough times to know better than to intervene or get in the way when hongjoong was like this.

as he continued, he spoke louder, like he was trying to get through to you. "you give yourself away to people who keep shoving those parts of you back into your hands," he ranted, becoming more frustrated with each word.

you looked at him with teary eyes, knowing the truth but not wanting to face it. “i know this isn’t what you want to hear but you need to hear this, yn. because i don’t know if you know this but putting a light inside the house your soul died in will not stop it from haunting you.” hongjoong looked at you and his words hit deeper than you expected

"you need to let that light go," he continued, his voice becoming even more impassioned. "you need to let go of the pain, the anger, the sadness, and the guilt that you've held onto for so long. you need to come to terms with the fact that the house is empty, the light is gone, and it is time for you to move on."

when you stopped denying the truth, you began to see things clearer. hongjoong was right, you knew. "you need to let that light go," he had said, but the light he was referring to wasn't a literal one. it was... wooyoung. your best friend was the light you needed to let go of, to come to terms with the fact that it was gone and that you would never get it back.

"you’ve been hiding behind it for too long, too scared to let go," hongjoong persisted, "because if you let go, you would have to face the darkness that has clouded your mind, the feelings that you've been avoiding and refusing to acknowledge. it will be painful, it will be difficult. but it's the only way for you to truly heal."

you remained frozen in silence as hongjoong continued to speak, his words hitting home and piercing you with a truth that you had been actively avoiding. he was right, everything he said was true.

"hongjoong, that's enough," seonghwa’s gentle voice cut through the tension, calling for the confrontation to end. you glanced up and saw his reassuring hand placed gently on hongjoong’s shoulder.

"she’s dealt with enough," he continued. "she doesn't need to hear more, nor does she need to listen to any more harsh words."

as you spoke, your voice became thick, choked by the lump in your throat. "i just... don't want him to think i gave up on him."

"i don't want wooyoung to think i didn't give it my all..." your voice trailed off as you began to choke up. "but i..." you stopped, unable to continue as your tears continued to flow. "i just," you sighed, "i can't give up on him."

your voice cracked with every breath you took, and the tears continued to flow as the pain of realizing how impossible the situation had gotten began to sink in. "i know... i won't... give up on him," you whispered through your sniffles, your throat tight and your heart heavy.

later that night, you were cleaning up around the living space when you saw wooyoung stumbling in, clearly just waking up. you spoke softly to show that you knew he was there, and he grumbled in response. you exchanged a glance with him, noticing his disheveled appearance, and the dark circles under his eyes.

"are you alright?" you asked softly, his response was a grunt, followed by another grunt as he proceeded toward his room without a word. you followed him with your eyes, feeling guilty for asking him anything at all.

you watched as he stumbled back into his room, and a pang of guilt stabbed your heart. you knew he was going through a difficult time, and here you were asking him if he was okay. of course, he wasn't. and you knew that. but what else could you have done? you wanted to speak with him, to see him, to try and be there for him. but he didn't want to speak with you.

after he went into his room, you slowly continued cleaning up the shared space. you couldn't quite bring yourself to go to bed yet, even though you were exhausted. you took care to make sure things were as tidy and clean as they could be, despite the mess that was in your mind. your heart continued to ache with guilt and sadness for your best friend, and you wondered if there was anything you could have done to help him.

you decided to try one more time, gathering your courage and taking your time to slice his favorite fruits like you always did in the past when he was sad. you made your way into his dark room and saw that it was a mess, but you ignored the clutter and scattered clothing. you simply placed the plate of fruit on his bedside table and made a quiet retreat, just leaving the plate of fruit with him and not trying to talk to him again.

as you prepared to exit the room, your eyes scanned the entire space. your heart skipped a beat as your gaze landed on the small ziplock baggie in the corner. you tried to ignore it and pretend as if your mind was playing tricks on you. but you knew that it was real. you saw the tiny powder-like stains beneath the baggies, and you knew that it was more than just a reflection of the light.

you couldn't ignore the small pile of bags on the nightstand. instead, you found your eyes drawn to them, watching the glint of light off the powder-like stains beneath them. you knew what this was, and a chill ran down your spine as you finally accepted the truth. wooyoung's struggles were evident in the things he kept so hidden from you, the substance he kept close by.

it suddenly became very clear to you why wooyoung had been acting the way he had lately. his secretive behavior, the late nights, the withdrawn attitude. everything made sense now.

the truth hit you like a wave of ice-cold water. wooyoung had been using drugs. you had been blind to the signs and the warnings, but this was the confirmation you had been avoiding. and now, you couldn't avoid the reality anymore.

the shock slowly turned into sadness, like a weight settling in your stomach as you stood there, staring at the baggie of drugs on his nightstand. you were numb, frozen on the spot as you processed this revelation. wooyoung had always been so responsible, so sensible, so protective of you. never in a million years would you have imagined him turning to drugs to cope with his problems.

as you were about to leave the room, you were caught off guard by the sudden sound of wooyoung's voice. "you're... not supposed to see those," he rasped out, sounding exhausted and annoyed. you jumped a little at the sudden sound and his harsh tone, feeling like you'd been caught red-handed even though you knew you had every right to go into his room.

he sighed and sat up slowly, the mattress squeaking beneath his movement. "they’re just for me," wooyoung said in a low voice, his tone turning defensive. "they... they help me... cope," he continued, his voice trailing off at the end as he looked away from you. you noticed how he avoided your eyes, instead focusing on the floor below.

wooyoung’s words hung heavy in the air. they were clearly a crutch for him, helping him to cope with the pressures of life. but it was clear that they did little more than numb him. you watched as his eyes darted around the room as if he was nervous about something. his eyes flitted between the zipper bags on his nightstand, and he seemed like he wanted to say something more, but he stopped himself.

the tension in the air was palpable, and you could sense the heaviness in his breath. you couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind, what he wanted to say but couldn't.

“i can't let you keep destroying yourself, woo”, you said, your voice soft and compassionate. you didn't want to lecture him, you just tried your best to help him see the harm he was doing to himself. but he resisted your words, pushing back with his own defensiveness.

"please, just... let me have this," wooyoung said, a sharp edge to his tone. "don’t try and take this away from me, don't try and protect me. i’m fine, really. i can handle this," he snapped, his tone growing more frustrated. he didn't want you to interfere, didn't want you to try and protect him. he wanted to handle it on his own.

as you watched him, your heart broke even further. he wasn't fine, he wasn't handling it, he was using drugs to cope with his pain. and you were afraid of what would happen if he continued this way. wooyoung's eyes met yours, sharp with his anger, as he continued to resist your words. "don’t you trust me?" he said, suddenly looking more fragile than before.

"don’t you dare say that." you glared at him, feeling your anger rising as you struggled to control yourself. "you know i trust you, but i don't trust that..." you gestured to the baggies on his nightstand, your words heavy in the air. you could feel his defensiveness intensifying, a wall of bitterness rising as he felt he was being accused.

"you’re going to preach to me now, aren't you?" wooyoung glared at you, his frustration clear in his words. "tell me all about how drugs are bad, how they hurt our bodies, how they damage our brains, how they can't fill the void inside of us... is that what you're gonna say?"

wooyoung's glare was intense, his words dripping with hostility as he began to lash out. he knew how he used drugs to cope had been irresponsible and harmful, but he didn't want to be lectured about it. he felt defensive and angry, and he was not going to back down from this argument.

"so you just go right ahead and pretend as if it's not a problem." wooyoung continued, his frustration growing as he glared at you. "you know damn well that they help me cope, that they fill the void i feel inside of me. they make me feel numb, but at least i don't feel anything at all when i’m like this. so just let me have this, and stop trying to interfere."

you could feel your shoulders shaking, your eyes growing damp with tears as you looked at him. "what the hell happened to you, wooyoung?" you choked out the question, your throat clogging with emotion as you struggled to hold it together. you wanted to understand... you wanted to help him.

you saw his expression harden even further as he looked at you, his eyes no longer filled with anger, but rather something closer to contempt. as you choked back your tears, you realized that he seemed to think you were being dramatic. he didn't see the severity of his situation, didn't want to acknowledge that he was falling apart in front of you. your throat tightened as your eyes burned from the fight and the tears that were starting to fall.

you felt something growing inside of you as he stared at you with contempt. anger? hurt? you were feeling these emotions clash with one another as your eyes blurred with moisture. you wanted to yell that you cared about him, that you were just trying to help... but you knew it would fall on deaf ears. instead, you stayed silent, trying to hold back your sobs. it was like he didn't trust you anymore.

"oh... you're crying now, are you?" wooyoung said, his tone cutting and cold. "so you really do enjoy drama then, don't you? you want to try and make me feel worse than i already do, huh? well, you're not going to succeed, so save your tears for someone who cares."

his words stung, hitting everything that was vulnerable and painful inside you. you knew he knew what to say, which string he needed to tug on in order to hurt you the most. you tried to speak, but your voice shook and came out in a whisper. "stop." you tried to be stern, to defend yourself, but you knew that your defenses were crumbling away.

wooyoung smirked at you, and you wanted to slap him for the cruel way he was behaving. he seemed to be taking pleasure in the way he was hurting you, in the way he was tearing you down. he wasn't even hiding the fact that he knew exactly how to bring you down and tear you apart. he seemed to be enjoying it.

there was no holding back now, no restraint. your voice shot up in volume even as you tried to bite it back. "what have i ever done to you?" you looked at him, your eyes burning and your heart racing wildly. "what the hell have i done to deserve this?"

wooyoung stared at you, his eyes narrowing. he seemed to be considering the weight of your words, trying to decide if he wanted to answer honestly. after a moment, he seemed to just decide to be blunt with you. "you’ve never done anything to me," he finally replied simply.

"that's the thing," wooyoung said, his attitude finally starting to soften. "you haven't done a damn thing to me." he had finally stopped fighting back, and his tone had changed from one of anger and aggression to one that was just... tired.

"you’ve just... been there. being my friend. caring for me.. loving me." wooyoung’s voice cracked at the last word, and he seemed to be trying to control himself from breaking down.

"and what do you get out of it?" he took a deep sigh and rubbed his eyes. "me falling apart on drugs, making you cry, treating you like crap? is that what you deserve from your friend?"

he quickly cut you off when you began to open your mouth, stopping you from making any excuses for him. "don’t you start with the whole excuses for me, yn," he said. his tone was harsh, like a snapping order. he seemed to be trying to hold on to the last shred of his composure.

"please." his voice cracked on the last word, and his eyes suddenly filled with pain and sorrow. you could see the pain of his life finally coming to surface... the sadness and hopelessness that had been buried under the drugs and the denial finally coming back to haunt him.

he was so vulnerable, so fragile in this moment, and you couldn't help but feel heartbroken for him. the thought of him hurting like this, of him being so miserable and lost and alone, all because of the drugs and the denial, was unbearable. you wanted to reach out and comfort him, to hold him close and wipe away his pain, but you didn't know how.

"i know i’m not perfect, i know i’ve done things... i’ve hurt you..." wooyoung’s voice cracked and he paused, trying to collect himself. "i just... i’m so tired. i’m so tired of fighting, of trying to keep things together, of being in pain..."

he looked at you, and his eyes were filled with raw emotion.

"i don't want to give up on us," he continued. "you’ve been here for me... through everything... please don't give up on me."

wooyoung seemed to be opening up to you again, letting his walls down and showing you the real him. the one who was tired, scared, and scared of losing you. the one who was afraid of being alone. he looked at you, begging you to stay with him, not to give up on him like everyone else. he needed you.

“i can’t give up on you even if i tried,” your voice was quiet as you spoke this to him

"i know you can't give up on me, but i just don't know if i can... keep on like this." he seemed so miserable and exhausted, like he was on the brink of collapse. "i’m so tired," he continued, his voice shaking. "so tired of all the stress and anxiety and the fear of what's to come... i just..."

he paused again, as if trying to find the words to say all the things he was feeling. "i just don't have the strength to do this anymore," he finally admitted. "i’m tired of carrying all this weight on my shoulders, of pretending like everything is okay, when it's not... i’m just... i’m so fucking tired."

the words were pouring out of him, as if he had been holding them inside for a long time. the exhaustion and the pain, the weight and the worry, the fear and the grief... it was all finally coming out. his voice cracked, and he seemed to be fighting back the tears that were welling in his eyes.

wooyoung broke down finally, sobbing as his arms tremblingly folded around his torso. his body was racked with a mixture of sadness and pain, as he let the weight of his emotions finally take over. "i don't want to drag you down with me," he said, his voice trembling. "but i’m so damn selfish. you see, i’m so selfish that..." his words were beginning to be muffled, and he seemed to be struggling to continue.

"i don't want to lose you," he suddenly mumbled, his cheeks soaked with tears. "i’m so selfish that i don't want to let you go, that i keep dragging you down with me even though i know it's destroying you too... i know it's wrong, i know it's so damn selfish, but i can't let go..."

wooyoung was crying hard, openly and unapologetically. he was a mess of emotion, of hurt and fear and sorrow and pain. he didn't like the way he was hurting you, but he didn't know how to stop. he was stuck in this cycle of self-destruction, and he couldn't see a way out.

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highfantasy-soul · 2 months

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I think people underestimate the changes that need to be made to stories when adapting them to different mediums/structures and maybe if they understood, they wouldn't have such issues with scenes/character moments not being 1-1 adaptations.

The structure of episodes is really important when considering how the story will unfold and what to include in each episode. Every single episode needs struggles and payoffs, a goal and an accomplishment of that goal - especially in an episodic show like the animated ATLA. By necessity of this, each 20 minute episode is going to have a lot of stuff going on - and tons of issues cropping up where character can be shown. Also, it's common to only have one plotline being followed per episode per group of POV characters - often it's Zuko's plot (much less screen time) and the Gaang (more screentime).

When you only have 8 episodes, cramming all that in would make the episodes feel disjoined and cluttered. It would be a constant whiplash of 'small struggle, overcoming, small struggle, overcoming, small struggle, overcoming' and all those little struggles together might start to feel insignificant and like the plot is just trying to come up with something for the characters to be doing. An example that might have been frustrating is in the first episode of the live action, having Aang and Katara travel to go penguin sledding, then jump to the fire nation ship where they reveal Aang's been gone so long, then back to the village to yet again talk about how long Aang has been gone (to catch everyone up), then Aang leaves, then Aang comes back, then he's off on the ship, then Katara and Sokka have to figure out how to get Appa to work, then they go to the ship, they fight on the ship, Katara struggles to figure out how to waterbend, Aang goes into the Avatar state, they escape, they go to the southern air temple, Aang plays around, they figure out Avatar stuff, they chase Momo, Aang goes into the Avatar state again, Katara talks him down, then the goal of the narrative is introduced.

While that works spread across three whole episodes - episodes not meant to be watched back to back but rather week to week as well as the writers understanding that since this is a kid's show airing, it's possible the watcher has missed the episode before - it would not work for hour-long episodes intended to be binge watched. When the show is episodic and people might not be able to catch all of them, a unique issue needs to be introduced each episode and resolved that same episode (minus the few 2-parter storylines in the OG). It's just the nature of that sort of structure. Just like you wouldn't want a comic structure in a chapter book or a movie structure in a serialized show, different mediums require different structures.

So how to resolve this? We've got one hour to do all that in - so instead of having all that time traveling (or gods forbid just jumping to the next setting without any establishing shots/travel scenes), things need to be condensed: which means, take several individual actions that share a common theme - say, how a character reacts to certain issues, and combine it into fewer actions that flow in a single sitting rather than three individual ones. Not only condense individual scenes, but also weave together multiple plotlines that might have been in separate episodes, but share a common theme, and have them all occur simultaneously. This means that specific beats from each of the 20 episodes might not all fit in the episodes, but the spirit of those scenes can be adapted to fit with the situation that's at hand - I think episode 3 in the live action does this masterfully.

A specific example is moving Zuko and Aang's first one-on-one fight from his ship in episode 2 of the animated series to episode 3 in Omashu - combining that with the epic fight between them at the perfume place. Episode 1 had already had many fight scenes and one more might have blended in with all the others - setting this big, impactful fight aside for the moment until it could be…well, a moment, I think was a good choice. It was different, an adaptation, but it held true to the significance of the interaction as well as weaving in to the other storylines.

So again, the change of medium is going to necessitate many scenes to be altered to 'fit'. Though many scenes can be translated pretty closely to the animated counterpart, all of them won't be and if you think every single character beat being shown is a must in order to understand character, then just go watch the OG, a different structure just won't work for you point blank no matter how well it's done. Trust me, you do not want to try to just shift a 20 episode season into 8 episodes with no structural changes despite the raw run-times being similar - it would be bad. Like really bad.

#media analysis #story structure #natla #natla spoilers #avatar the last airbender #live action avatar #netflix atla #this argument that 'they had the same amount of time as the cartoon so that means they have no reason not to include every single scene' is #just wild to me #story structure is IMPORTANT PEOPLE #this should be very obvious but apparently it's not #there's not just one way to show specific character traits - the same trait can be shown in a different type of scene just fine

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wishesofeternity · 10 months

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“Warwick launched his final bid at kingmaking, this time in alliance with Margaret of Anjou to restore Henry VI. He and Clarence landed in Devon while the King was in Yorkshire. Elizabeth (Woodville)’s initial reaction was to prepare for a siege in the Tower of London where she had already retired in expectation of the imminent birth of another child. But on 1 October news reached the capital that the King was preparing to set sail from Bishop’s Lynn, abandoning his kingdom. With no hope of imminent rescue, Elizabeth moved swiftly into the Sanctuary of Westminster Abbey with her mother and her daughters. She sent Abbot Thomas Millyng to advise the Mayor and Aldermen that she was surrendering the Tower, and consequently Henry VI, into their custody.

- J.L Laynesmith, “Elizabeth Woodville: The Knight’s Widow” in “Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts” / “The Last Medieval Queens, English Queenship 1445-1503″

"Elizabeth (Woodville) at first fortified the Tower of London against the approaching Lancastrians, but then decided instead to hand over custody of the Tower to the mayor and aldermen of London while she went into sanctuary at Westminster Abbey. It was a move which not only protected her daughters, who were with her, but also saved London from attack, which perhaps explains some of the praise she later received. The author of 'The Historic of the Arrival of Edward IV, who claimed to have witnessed much of what he recorded, stressed

the right great trowble, sorow, and hevines, whiche [the queen] sustayned with all manar pacience that belonged to eny creature, and as constantly as hathe bene sene at any tyme any of so highe estate to endure; in the whiche season natheles she had browght into this worldc, to the Kyngs grcatystc joy, a fayrc son.

...When Edward (IV) arrived, there was a scene of family bliss, in which the queen's vulnerability and domesticity could be contrasted with his heroism. The king was thus presented in an unusually human guise, which might appeal to readers familiar with such partings themselves throughout the civil wars:

The king comfortid the quene, and other ladyes ckc; His swete babis ful tendurly he did kys; The yonge prynce he behelde, and in his armys did bere. Thus his bale turnyd hym to blis.

#historicwomendaily #elizabeth woodville #history #edward iv #mine #the wars of the roses #i have a major issue with the way this is viewed by the vast majority of people tbh #for one: so many people conveniently forget that she was the one who controlled and was apparently fortifying the ToL #(which included the captive Henry VI btw)#while she was literally 8 months pregnant #she only gave it up after she learned that edward iv was also fleeing. it's SO important and interesting #and yet most people either don't know about it or conveniently flash forward to when she entered sanctuary #and my second issue: SO MANY PEOPLE INCLUDING HISTORIANS tend to treat her flight to sanctuary as some kind of indication of her personalit #when the truth of the matter is that SHE HAD NO OTHER CHOICE #as david baldwin rightly pointed out -as an englishwoman of the gentry she did not have foreign resources shelter or support at her disposa #the way every queen before her (in theory for lots of them as it wasn't required) possessed #nor was elizabeth a valuable heiress (like anne Neville or her own daughter eoy)#not to mention the very obvious fact that she was heavily pregnant (and gave birth just a month later) with three very young daughters #like. literally what else was she supposed to do? where else was she supposes to go?#her vulnerability was unprecedentedly horrific and people & historians don't emphasize the comparative degree of it as much as they should #at that point elizabeth literally didn't have any other options other than sanctuary. it wasn't much of a choice #it's strange because elizabeth's status has been discussed a lot in theory but rarely discussed in terms of how it affected her in PRACTISE #and this is a key example of that #among many others

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luxsea · 5 months

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i had no idea you could trigger karlachs first romance scene like an hour into a new save 😳

#olive.txt #squealing giggling kicking my feet as if i havent seen it before #really thought it was a glitch apparently it’s not #had her meet dammon but no upgrade #also did some things she disapproved of #i haven’t done a single quest i’m just playing dress up w mods #i did beeline to recruit her very early tho thats the only thing i can think of that caused this #karlach really saw thru the forth wall and did a karlux speed run for me #she’s not even high enough level to get her barbarian piercings for the screenies omg #IM NOT COMPLAINING THIS IS VERY VERY FUNNY #also got flirty shadowheart dialogue that i hadn’t gotten until act 2 my first playthrough #idk i’ve never had the issue in my game of every companion (besides gale) flirting #i’ve done a ton of long rests and every single one has been a scene i’ve never seen #the game rlly doesn’t make it obvious you should rest constantly or you’ll miss so many scenes #pacing might not be great bc then there will be periods where you go 10s of hrs without a single new camp interaction #it’s fascinating

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sherlock-is-ace · 3 months

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#one day I'll have to learn that i care more about people than they care about me...#maybe i just don't understand relationships properly #i mean that could be it... given that in more than one occasion people have started ignoring me overnight for no apparent reason...#apparent to me perhaps it was a very obvious reason #but yeah... i might sound very high on my horse but i feel like i give more than i get :/#perhaps it's because i'm painfully aware of what i do for other people even if it hurts me or inconveniences me #but I don't feel like what i do is recognized or rewarded in any way #i mean obviously one should love and ask nothing in return #but aren't relationships a two way street?#and i'm talking all kinds of relationships btw #this is not about one person in particular it's like an overreaching problem...#perhaps i really just don't know what relationships are or are supposed to be like #maybe I'M failing at them... i literally don't know #anyways... i'm gonna go keep drawing ✌🏻#angel talks #personal

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camping-with-monsters · 10 months

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Listened to The Stupendium’s “Neath!” enough to say “ah fuck it. Let’s make an oc out of this song.”

His name’s Cyrmic. Sometimes people just call him Ol’ Danderdilly. A bit of a curious existence— one that was believed to have such low odds that it was almost considered impossible, as he is half human and half cryptid!

In Bliss (which he’s debatably canon to it, not a whole lot of development has gone into his relevance, but he wouldn’t even be a considered character in the first act(??) but likely in a later act.), as long as both parties can consent and the cryptid is sentient (because it’s likely that there are cryptids that have mindsets closer to humans and others closer to animals) than a human and a cryptid can peruse a relationship. By default, humans and cryptids are not compatible to reproduce— but the gene for cryptids does in fact exist. It’s just a rarity. Most who do bare the gene usually don’t end up courting with a human for either the obvious reasons, don’t even end up with a human (which is more common than not) or just decide not to have a relationship at all. It’s a mixed bag.

However, in Cyrmic’s case, his cryptic parent did in fact bare the gene when courting with a human— and learned that the hard way. What kept them optimistic about it, we don’t know. Regardless, Cyrmic exists now. Not much going back on that.

Known to be kind of a peculiar character, Cyrmic plays the role of an oddball with a fascination for all things old-timey. He leaves a questionable taste in other’s mouths with his somewhat intimidating demeanor that’s both charming and suspicious which is reflected on his gestures and dignified dialect. Some people are led to believe he might be plotting something. But maybe they’re just not used to seeing something considerable as an eighth wonder. He’s not really trying to scare people. He’s just like that in general, and he genuinely means well!

But all in all, he’s looking for someone to love. Someone he can settle down with that can humor his curious point of view.

#uh oh. new idiot to play with #so uh yeah like I said he’s very inspired by Neath! by The Stupendium :)))#specifically the part with Byron Brimstone if it isn’t obvious #I am. very very very very very very normal about that song ::::)))))#so awesome too because I showed my parents and my dad has apparently been listening to it more lately :0!!!!!!#he says it’s the perfect song to get ready for work #because it’s so long and it helps him track how much time he has before he has to leave #they both absolutely loved it and were super impressed with the writing in it #and GOD it’s just. y’all saw my animatic I made. one of the greatest songs ever #it makes me so :D!!!!!!!!!#first time in years I can safely say I genuinely do have a favorite song #anyways. cyrmic.#fun fact his name should have been ‘cymric’ but I kept misspelling the word in my head until I realized I was saying it wrong #but I liked Cyrmic more anyway ((it’s pronounced as sir-mick by the way))#he’s a little strange but we love him for it <3 #a little weirdo stuffed with fluff and organs <3 #cutting this man open is like playing a game of ‘what will come out of him? Cute red stuffing or pools of blood? let’s find out!’#he also has a questionable fashion sense but that’s okay #he’s just looking for love man :(( he wants someone to settle down with but most people are offput by him :((#Cyrmic Danderdilly #Bliss #ocs #original characters #original stories #The Kiwi Draws

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fefairys · 10 months

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i am so jealous of amab transfems and i could list the reasons but i won’t cause i know if i was one id be just as jealous of afab transmascs is the thing. so whenever i feel sad that i wasn’t born a boy so i could be a girl i just think about how that version of me would be sad that she wasn’t born a girl so she could be a boy.

#that’s my genderfluid issue #mostly i wish it was more ambiguous what my agab was so i could do anything #but it’s very obvious the second you see and hear me irl #i think #but like also the hormones issue #at least if i was born a boy i could go on hrt #i can’t go on T bc it would make my skin condition worse among other things #but going on E would probably help it get better lol #i’ve read that some ppl have been prescribed estrogen for my condition and that it helps a lot #big sigh #speaking of i wonder if i would even have HS if i was amab #it’s more common in women but men have more severe cases apparently #and my dad doesn’t have it. so either i wouldn’t have it or it would ne worse #but then E could make it better possibly??? lmao #i think about my alternate selves too much i should focus on the one that i am #personal

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the-busy-ghost · 1 year

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The utter fury of reading about a character in a Victorian novel who is frankly described as ‘ugly’ and googling them only to find out that absolutely every tv adaptation portrays them as ‘brown haired but otherwise conventionally attractive to the 21st century’

#Are Victorian men very irritating when they choose to describe women based solely on their looks? Yes!#Is it perhaps difficult to cast for an 'ugly' role without insulting actresses? Also yes!#Is it possible that our beauty conventions have changed- I say yes but this particular actress would still have made a Victorian swoon #She has perfectly plucked eyebrows and clear skin too #So it's just going to frustrate me endlessly #Also there were aspects of this character which imo are still controversial in the 21st century #Body hair being one of many things which we still hold against women for god knows what reason #Beauty standards are bullshit and nobody should be treated better just because they're more physically attractive #But the answer to that is not 'Oh let's pretend all women are beautiful by only casting hot actresses so it's obvious these men were insane'#The answer to that is 'cast all sorts of people with all sorts of looks and if you explain to the actress the standards of the time period #I'm pretty sure she's not going to be insulted if you point out that this peanut-brained Victorian man may not have had the hots for her'#You know what's also unattractive? Internalised misogyny. But we can keep that in apparently it's just the body hair that's too much #This will never stop annoying me #It's up there with 'gives 24 year old actress grey highlights to pretend that she's now an old woman'#The Woman in White #reading log

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harrowing-of-hell · 8 months

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i did write a meta post about the unwanted guest but actually it's not about the unwanted guest at all lol

#it ended up being entirely about harrowhark and what should be a very obvious part of her character #but apparently not #yes it was written entirely out of spite #i'll read over it and post it later

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axe-cution · 4 months

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I lied. No serious shit about Clint moss anymore. You take my shitty catboy Clint moss drawing or you kill me right here and now.

#came to a realization I really should not care ab what people think ab my interp of the silly guy #not tagging this bc it’s rlly low effort and clogs tags #we’re so back #but like realizing this is just a non issue should’ve been obvious but #I’m a very insecure person!#I do things I like and I want to share them with people unfortunatley my definition of fun is not the norm #Even for online circles where I should be weird. apparently #And peopel jumping to massive conclusions ab my interp of climmos made me. very upset .#because yeah. that should be a non issue #i shouldn’t care what those people think .#but I did! and now I don’t . maybe. for now.#I just want to have fun and be silly with witj a guy who only has 3 lines #just. I don’t know.#it’s been consistent with how weird ppl r ab my climmos. ig.#SORRY THIS IS SUCH A STUPID RAMBLE.#SORRY!#ok if you read this all I applaud you goodbye #adding on if you know me from my social medias you have not seen my Clint moss. sorry. /lh #read road to rando.#/lh

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triflesandparsnips · 2 years

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So, like, if we're really going to go Full On Xena here and decide that historical accuracy is for squares--

About like a hundred years after OFMD is set there's this whole... thing. With men and their stockings. Which, as we know, are form fitting, and can therefore show off calves to their utmost advantage-- or lack thereof.

So some dudes at the time apparently felt the need to... supplement their calves. With falsies.

Calf falsies.

So it would, to me, be very funny if Ed sort of, like, notes early on that Stede has surprisingly defined calves for somebody who's swanning around dressed (and presumably as well-exercised) as the most uppercrust of indolent dandies.

And he doesn't say anything to Stede because, well-- listen, he's ransacked enough rich men's underwear drawers to know that falsies exist, and if Stede feels the need for enhancements then it's no skin off Ed's nose one way or the other. And anyway, they're spending most of their days in one another's company, so it'll become obvious sooner or later, right?

Right.

So no need to ask Stede about it. No need to, say, seat himself just below Stede during the evening storytelling at an angle that might let him check for the telltale bump of knotted ties beneath his stockings. No need to wonder at all, really, at any time, about Stede's calves, and knees, and the expensive knitted silk rolled up and over them, tucked every single day just as tight as you please under the band of his damn-near painted-on satin breeches.

There's absolutely no call for it because, eventually, Stede will slip. He'll forget himself, just for a moment, and then Ed will know and that'll be that. Accidents happen all the time on shipboard, that's just the way of it. No need to rush things along at all.

For instance, maybe one day Stede'll step into something foul and feel the need to strip off his stocking. Could happen to anybody. Practically a daily occurrence. But Stede, he probably wouldn't want to wait around in the muck, he'd probably have to take it off immediately, right where he's standing, just unbutton the band at his knee and get his fingers under it so he can find the stocking's welt, feel it out all careful as can be so he doesn't catch against the delicate silk and snag it beyond repair-- but it'd be easy enough for Stede, what with all the practice he's had dressing and undressing on his own now, easy for him to hook his fingers into the stocking and ease it out, roll it down, finally flash his plumpers and show where they ended and he began and--

Or maybe, Ed thinks with some feverishness, maybe like, maybe he'll ask Ed to stay after breakfast, to keep talking while Stede just changes for the day, and he'll keep the door to the closet open, not to tease but just to let their voices through, all normal, all fine, but god knows Stede loves his mirrors, and there's one that Ed is absolutely positive would-- if only Stede would stand just so and leave the door open just enough-- would in fact yield the reflection of Stede setting his clean, bare heel on one of the closet's little embroidered footstools, finally unclothed but for pale hair and pale skin and the dips and faint hollows where the bone would show shadowed in morning candlelight and half miraged in mirror view-- and then Ed would finally see, he'd finally have fucking proof that Stede didn't have that cut of muscle curving firm and palm-sized at his calf, that it was all cotton pads and careful knots and a rich man's brand of fuckery to capture a strength he didn't have, didn't really need to be honest, Stede was strong enough, alive enough in these hellish waters that he didn't need to prove anything to anyone, alive or dead, and so if Stede would just tell him, just slip one damned time so Ed could finally decide whether he wanted to burn the damn things or tie them on as sweetly as Stede needed or, or-- or--

...Which is how, about a month into their voyage together, when Stede does, in fact, invite Ed to stay after breakfast, and to keep talking while he changes, and he asks Ed if he minds him leaving the door open a little but, heh, not to worry, he moved the mirror into the bed nook just that morning, so no need to fear any "stark revelations," heh, d'ya get it Ed, like that time, and of course "starkers," classic punnery--

--only to hear the abrupt sounds of what seem to be, in order:

Stede's quite expensive dining table: flipped

his delightfully matched morning dishware: shattered

a non-zero number of his cleverly carpentered cabinet drawers: yanked from their moorings, dashed to the floor

what he now suspects to be, embarrassingly enough, his unmentionables: tossed, thrown, riffled through, and probably wrinkling

and one extremely irate pirate: thumping through it all while swearing very, very loudly that he intends to "find the buggery fucking fucks so help me fucking Christ--"

And Stede decides that Ed needs a moment, so he'll just go ahead and close the door and get finished dressing on his own before he ventures out to see just how accurate his guesses were.

#our flag means death #ofmd #free plot bunnies #if you write it link it #do the thing #but also I should say that I don't even LIKE DUDE'S LEGS wtf #like that is NOT MY DEAL #but apparently THE GHOST OF EDWARD FUCKING TEACH decided I needed to be witness to his fucking sartorial tragedy #edward teach #ed teach #stede bonnet #also while I'm at it #it becomes obvious over the span of several interviews that rhys darby is really very vain about his legs and so #I am having perhaps #Too Much Fun

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