#this may have something to do with me also not personally ever doing make-up

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: You vs Them - Love Connection Check-in

Hello and welcome to another love reading pick a card.

This is a pretty classic, you vs them romantic connection check-in, where we'll look first at both of you currently are, your respective thoughts feelings and actions you are taking, as well as the connecting dynamic between the two of you.

This pick a card reading is meant for any type of romantic connection, whether it's a crush situation or a more established connection.

Like my style and want to book a paid reading with me? Check out this post or my pinned post :) You can book through DMs or ko-fi.

PILE 1

You

Cards: 6 of Swords, the Tower, the Warrior of Love, Jealousy, Strength, Knight of Swords, 3 of Pentacles

You are currently experiencing quite the conflict. It seems you are not satisfied with your love life in general, but also with the state of this connection. This is triggering heavy feelings and even making you experience a personal crisis. You feel doomed in regards to love and this connection, like nothing ever works and that it might not be in the cards for you. That you spent all that time loving them for nothing. As a result, you are feeling jealous, either of other people's love or of the potential of your person being with someone else. You are also wondering if you should cut your losses and let go of this connection to look for something better. This is adding to the inner crisis you are experiencing because its like your logic is telling you to let go to avoid being hurt further, but your heart does not want to. Like at all. It's like in the inside you're determined to see this through and try everything you can until you are 100% sure this relationship is dead and buried. There is a very combative vibe to this ad in you do not want to give up and you're ready to take risks. You go back and forth between being determined and wanting a way out.

Your thoughts towards them is again some type of combative mind game. It's like you are very observant of your own thoughts and try to keep them under control, both to avoid being unrealistic about what's happening, and also to avoid falling into despair. You're trying to keep the balance and be strong in this situation. You may also be trying to temper your emotions with your mind as a way to avoid doing something you think you might regret. Overall you are very active in your mind and have some type of iron grip over this.

Your feelings regarding them explain why you feel this need for control, as it seems you feel some type of emergency, that you are extremely scared that this is going to slip away if you don't act and that you need to find a way to either make it work or exit fast. This is making you feel restless and anxious.

Your actions are also kept under control by your thoughts as I see you talking to them and building a foundational friendship, hiding everything. Collaboration or work might also be important to some of you. So yeah your actions are not romantic at all and seem to be calculated and carefully paced. Which contradicts totally with your feelings, which you seem to hide very well.

Them

Cards: 9 of Swords, 4 of Cups, at Peace, Judgement, the Sweetest Taboo, the Fool, 4 of Swords, the Hanged Man rx, Queen of Pentacles

On their side of things, I'm getting that your person is involved with someone else, and they are toying with the idea of you, the card the sweetest taboo is quite telling. They may be daydreaming about you and imagining what it would be like to let themselves have this, but in reality, they are not acting on it, and it remains a fantasy. They are simply remaining quite apathetic, withdrawn, and not taking any steps towards you. They might go hot and cold quite often with you. They seem to be keeping this mask if calmness that is a front because the 9 of swords tells me the situation distresses them quite a lot, even if only when they stop distracting themselves and think about it. They are definitely thinking about this a lot. Judgement also tells me they are well aware that their actions will have consequences, whatever they decide to do about this, and they are taking it very seriously. 

Their thoughts on the matter is that while again they seem to be toying with the idea of a new beginning and taking a risk with you, they are also playing dead, so to speak. It's possible that they have recently withdrawn compared to what they used to do. Its like they think about going for this carelessly, but they also feel the need to think about this deeply and carefully. The thought it there but they haven't made up their mind and right now they are just withdrawing and thinking about what they could do.

This is reflected in their feelings. With the Hanged Man reversed they are taking this sweet time to think about this, feelings very indecisive and not ready to make a choice. They are still considering the different paths they could take, whether with you or not, and are also considering their feelings quite a lot.

Their actions towards you seem to be focused towards being friendly and showing they care for you on a personal level. They may be giving you advice or paying attention and remembering what you said. They are super careful about keeping the relationship stable and well meaning, and just like you are doing they are hiding they inner state pretty well. Again might be a co-worker or a friend, again not showing super romantic actions towards you but keeping things harmonious between the two of you.

Connecting dynamic

Cards: 7 of Pentacles, the Empress, a Loving Gaze, Soft Whispers, Inner Awareness, Wishes Fulfilled, Optimism

Despite the lack of romantic actions on both sides, I'm getting that gazes seem to be a pretty important way for the both of you to communicate. It seems that a lot of things remain unsaid, but a lot is communicated through the eyes.

I'm also getting that the way you talk to each other in the tone you take is quite important in this dynamic. You might be talking about mundane things but you communicate your feelings through the way you both speak, keeping things sweet, lighthearted and friendly. So yeah again everyone avoids the important issue here but you try you best to be perceived in a good light.

This is represented further by the Empress, both of you want to  look, smell and act your best, trying to attract the other in a magnetic way rather than through direct flirting. Again the idea of keeping things amicable shows up and you both seem quite interested in building things slowly and carefully, observing intensely how things are unfolding.

The cards also shows quite a lot of optimism connecting the both of you, showing that despite the inner conflicts and indecision, you both still have hope for this, even if it seems quite far away. You are both wishing for each other and for the situation to magically fix itself, like with some grand intervention of fate that would unite you.

You are also both trying to stay aware of yourself and control what you are doing while not being super aware of what's happening on the inside for the other. It's also like you're trying to both deal with your own shit first, keeping you quite blind on the situation and self-centered.

PILE 2

You

Cards: King of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles, Physical Attraction, Longing and Desire, Optimism rx, the Lovers, Temperance rx, Queen of Wands, 6 of Pentacles

It seems you went through a breakup with your person and you're left feeling like you have nothing left, completely trapped in pessimistic feelings about having lost the relationship and thinking it will never be gained back. However, you still hold deep feelings and desire for them. You are very protective of the idea of this relationship and this person and you can't let it go. This person still lights your fire up and you think about them longingly, with intense sexual attraction. You keep imagining what it would be like to get back together with them and what to do to win them back.

So it makes sense that you got the Lovers as the card defining your thoughts. You keep thinking about your past relationship and being able to come into union with them again. You are dead set on fixing things up and bring harmony, even of you don't really believe it will happen.

For your feelings, with Temperance reversed, again, you have trouble letting go of this and healing, and you are neglecting your own emotional needs here. You feel like they are the missing piece to fix you instead of looking within to see what you could to do heal your heart and move on.

The actions you take show me that as a result of feeling like there is nothing left, you keep on trying to give and reach out, even if you don't get anything in return. You feel insecure and you're trying to get a hold of that by not letting yourself go and trying to do whatever you can to make things happen.

Them

Cards: 5 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Anger, à Loving Gaze, the Lady who Waits, 7 of Cups, 6 of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, the Hermit, Knight of Swords, the Hanged Man, King of cups

The breakup wasn't easy on them either even though it seems they triggered it, as there is evidence of a battle that ended and losses were made on both sides. However there is an idea of celebration and getting back together with friends and enjoying time with them, so it seems they needed that even if it's really hard on you. So they might be spending time with friends, partying and getting their life moving again.

It seems they are still quite angry at the situation though and have a lot of resentment for you. They have definitely moved on and left behind what they had with you. They are currently contemplating their options moving forward, looking to open up to new connections and waiting for the right opportunity. They are wondering where life will take them next and everything seems rather hazy and not grounded in anything yet.

For their thoughts, it seems they are embracing the change and again let go of what once was. The wheel as turned and a new chapter has opened. They seem to think this was bound to happen, whether they believe in fate or not, they think there was no other option here and that it was meant to happen at some point.

For their feelings, they definitely are very focused on themselves and are more focused on how you make them feel than how you feel. They are withdrawing and we already saw they are not giving anything to you anymore. They are focused on what this whole experience has taught them and doing some soul searching.

Which shows in their actions as well, withdrawal and contemplation while trying to remain calm and emotionally stable by distancing themselves. Their own emotional balance is very important to them and they are very protective of that. They do whatever needs to be done to keep the upper hand and stay in control of the situation. They might lash out or behave harshly as a result of you pushing against them.

Connecting dynamic

Cards: 3 of Swords, Knight of Wands, the Warrior of Love, Unrequited Desire, Reflection rx, Shadow Work

The main thing I get is that emotions are running high. You've got passionate longing for you and anger for them, which connects in intense headache, sorrow, fresh wounds from the past. It seems you are both triggering each other, bringing out the worst both of you have to offer. It's definitely a toxic situation, not necessarily because you are toxic individuals, but because the dynamic has turned sour and feelings are too high to behave differently.

There is also some type of chase going on like you are still hung up on them but they aren't reciprocating but you feel like they aren't closing the door properly, which is delicate and is quite complicated in reality. They might act like that as a reaction more than a real desire. Which again is triggering the worst of both of you and making a messy and painful situation on each sides.

You also can't seem to understand the each other's perspective because everything looks distorted by your own thoughts and emotions, like you're looking in a broken mirror.

PILE 3

You

Cards: 7 of Pentacles rx, Queen of Wands, Reflection, Jealousy and Possessiveness, King of Wands, 10 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups

Currently, you're feeling quite frustrated by the pace of things in this connection, feeling like you've invested a lot of time and effort in this and not gotten the reward you were expecting. You have expectations regarding what your person should give you, and you're eagerly waiting for them to meet them. You know your worth and feel quite annoyed because you feel you should be getting more from this whole thing. This is pushing you to weigh things out and reflect on the dynamic of the relationship, and you're actively seeking advice about it, to the point of being quite obsessive and overthinking it. You feel quite jealous and possessive of your person, and you feel like they should be yours and yours only.

In your mind, you are very clear about what you want from this relationship, and you keep thinking of a long-term future with them. There is no hesitation on your mind. You have a vision and you feel like there is real potential for success here.

This is reflected in your feelings. You feel at home with this person and have a deep desire to build something solid and committed that could lead to building a life together.

For your actions, though, it seems you are not showing your cards fully, keeping them close to your chest. Your feelings run deep, and you seem to be spending a lot of time in them without necessarily acting on them, and definitely not communicating them to your person. It's like you're facing away from them, refusing to show your depth of emotions.

Them

Cards: King of Pentacles, 10 of Wands, love's embrace, stress, Jealousy, the Tower, 3 of Pentacles, Page of Cups, King of Cups, Wheel of Fortune

On their side of things, they seem to be quite overwhelmed by the situation, to the point of feeling burdened by stress. On their side of things, the situation seems a bit "stuffy" or "suffocating" and they have a thousand things they need to do which adds up to the stress. It's like, they are not used to this game of love and feel quite a bit out of their depth here. They are definitely not at ease with the attention and it may be a distraction from their work and they have trouble balancing that. They are also mirroring you on the Jealousy aspect as they seem to worry you might have other suitors more fitting for you.

This is reflecting in their current thoughts, which shows that they are at a breaking point. Their whole world is being turned upside down, and they feel pushed towards a transformation they don't think they are ready for. This might feel like something they didn't ask for is happening to them, and they don't think they have any control over this.

For their feelings, they again seem to mirror you in their desire to build a foundation for the both of you, although they seem less long term oriented than you and more focused on the task at hand. Perhaps getting to know you or building positive exchanges. They do feel the massive amount of work that it requires though and they might feel the need to reach out to others to help them in their task and give them advice.

For their actions, they appear like a shy, not super confident or particularly determined suitor, testing the water and making careful moves. They do want to show you that they are reliable and full of desire to provide for you, but they are not exactly showing that very well. Its also like they are waiting for a change coming from the outside to solve the situation, perhaps the intervention of someone else or a big fated event, which may make their actions appear quite erratic and random, because they lack the drive and focus.

Connecting dynamic

Cards: 10 of Swords, Ace of Pentacles, Page of Swords, Standing Alone, Seeking Pleasure, Doubt and Indecision, Sweet Surrender, 8 of Wands, Worry

So you both feel like you've reached some type of low here, as if you could not get any lower. Its a bit dramatic because the cards are also showing the a new start here. Perhaps things had indeed ended here but they are picking up again, and fast. However you both are quite defensive and on your guards regarding this new beginning and are being quite suspicious about it, wondering if you can really trust it or not. It seems that during that time where things where low, you both had to stand on your own and learn to care for yourselves, building and healing you own issue.

However there might be some reluctance to leave this state, because it asks to be vulnerable with the other and neither of you seem totally ready to do that. This is leading to doubts regarding this relationship, wondering if it is indeed the right path for both of you. However, the promise of love and pleasure comes out very strong and I think it has been building for a while without finding a release. You both seem to desire and dread this equally. The whole situation is making you both quite worried and disoriented and there is a need to communicate things in a straightforward way.

#pick a card #tarot reading #pick a pile #PAC reading #pick an image #pick a card reading #pac tarot #pick a picture #pick a photo #divination #soaringwide tarot reading #soaringwide #tarot #tarotblr #tarot community

[mrsjobarnes]

May Thy Knife

Summary: When Paul challenges the emperor, Feyd is chosen to fight your brother. Your brother couldn't hurt the man you love, right?

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!Reader

Word count: 1,113

TW:  Violence, Murder, pregnancy and family drama  (let me know if i missed any) 

AN: I got this idea while I was doing my dishes and just had to write it down Also a huge Thank you to @angel-0f-verdun for helping!

Likes & comments are welcome! 

Please do not steal my work! 

You hear a familiar voice and start to walk to the front of the crowd with your husband hot on your trail. Once you come to a stop he puts his hand protectively around your belly. The hooded figure starts to talk when you interrupt him “Paul”. You thought he had died along with your father and stepmother. “Paul,” you say again trying to walk forward when Feyd stops you. 

Paul retracts his hand.“I see you have chosen a side” says Paul glaring at Fey and continuing his conversation with the emperor. Though you couldn’t stay still, eyes continually glancing around the room, you lay eyes on Jessica and the only other person bold enough to make eye contact. As Paul challenges the emperor for his daughter's hand marriage and the rule of the galaxy, you get a good look at him. This is not the same Paul you grew up with, no, that Paul had died. The emperor agrees to his challenge and chooses Feyd as his fighter. 

— 

“Paul if you love me you won’t kill my husband. Please be better than his uncle and the emperor, I’m begging you. As your sister, I beg you please.” You say as you step forward tears streaming down your face. You do your best to maintain your composure as Paul walks to you and Feyd. “May thy knife chip and shatter '' Paul says backing up to assume a fighting stance. 

You feel your heart sink as Feyd turns to you and kisses your lips so sweetly and tenderly almost begging for your forgiveness. “I love you” he whispers. You grab him and beg him not to. He shrugs off your advances as he steps forward. “May thy knife chip and shatter” he says while assuming a fighting stance.

“Will someone please stop this madness!” you scream, begging anyone to stop them. You start to walk towards the fight when Gurney stops you. “Please, that is my husband” you  beg him. He looks at you with sorrow, looking around the room you try to find something to stop this. You scream as Paul almost lands a blow, when Feyd retaliates faster knocking Paul on the ground. He points out the other women besides Lady Jessica who actively wince whenever Paul starts losing ground in the fight, Paul's pet. As they start fighting you start walking towards her, hiking up your skirt you pull out one of Feyds knives and grab her by the side. Whispering an apology you place the blade in a weak spot in her armor on her side. You know that she could easily get away from you but she doesn't try, maybe to grief stricken by Paul throwing her to the side for his own power and ambitions or maybe she thinks you’re faster then her. It doesn't matter as long as this catches Paul's attention. 

“Paul if you don’t stop I will kill her” you scream out still pointing the knife. Her eyes pleaded with Paul to stop fighting. “I love him, Paul, he is the father of my child and my husband. I thought better of you then to become a killer” you say looking directly into his eyes as Feyd stands behind him at the ready. Not wanting to hurt Paul unless he hurts you or his child. He could care less about himself, for the first time in his life he is content. He should have known that the universe would come and take it from him, he has done too much evil to ever be happy. Just as soon as you caught Paul's attention you lost it. He was back to dueling with Feyd, as the fight continued both men were covered in blood, both of their own and of each other. They both seemed to be growing tired but that's when Feyd got the upper hand and stabbed Paul in a non-emergent spot, but just as soon as he had done that Paul had stabbed him in the abdomen, a way harsher blow. As they fell to the floor the only thing that could be heard was your screams of horror. Dropping the knife you held, you ran over to the pair, Paul was pulling the knife out of his shoulder standing up and walking toward the emperor. Pulling Feyd to your lap you assessed his injury. 

“It's okay my love, let me go,” he said, wiping the tears off your face. “I've lived a good life with you, I learned what it was like to be loved and it is marvelous,” he says, coughing up more blood. At this point, you are sobbing cradling him back and forth. You don't even register the cheers of victory all around the room. Suddenly, a hand is placed on your shoulder, looking up to scream at whoever was touching you, you see that it is the woman you threatened to stab. She pulls you away from Feyd as men swarm him, doing god knows what. All you can think about is how the man you love is dead. The only thing that brings you out of that grief is the consistent kicking in your belly. The woman introduced herself as Chani as you walked through the halls of the sand dune structure. She shows you to a room and begins to clean you up. 

“You have to stop crying,” she says in a gentle voice. “You’re going to lose all of your water,” she says, grabbing her canteen and pouring you some water. As you greedily drink it you come to the harsh reality that you are now alone. 

“I don’t know how I'm going to do this alone”. You say while rubbing your belly, which was greeted by a strong kick.  

“What Paul did was awful, he has been corrupted by power. No thanks to your mother feeding him propaganda” Chani says. Looking at her you explain that Paul is your half-sibling through his father and that Lady Jessica killed your mother. “Ahh so being a traitor comes from her side,” she says pacing the room. “I can’t believe I ever loved him,” she says, throwing her glove at the door. 

“He hasn’t always been like that” you say, glancing at her. “His mother brings out the best and the worst in him, but our father raised him better than to be a murderous monster” you say holding back more tears. “My husband is dead, the love of my life is dead. Now I am to have his child by myself, I am all alone.” you say playing with your fingers. 

“You’re not alone” Chani says, waking to sit on the bed next to you.

#feyd rautha #feyd rautha x pregnant!reader #feyd rautha harkonnen x you #dune part two #feyd rautha x reader #feyd x reader #feyd rautha harkonnen x reader #feyd x you

[thissccounthatesfascists]

TL asleep? cool.

(long post, strap in)

i wanna talk about colin's wet dream. that was the most demisexual shit i have EVER seen. there's not even any sex. its just a romanticized, elevated version of their first kiss. its colin's subconscious wanting to replay the moment he fell in love with his best friend in the Most way possible.

lets break it down:

we got the same location of their first kiss. Complete with mood lighting and a fog machine. It’s giving pride and prejudice 2005

Penelope comes out (looking gorgeous, of course) to their rendezvous spot, which has been previously agreed on.

colin thanks her for meeting him, she doesn't know why he's asked her to come

he confesses his feelings for her

she reciprocates (this is the important part of this to me. ) her wanting him, makes him want her more (do you see where the demisexual colin energy is coming from? do you understand?)

they make out

he kisses her neck as she pants his name over and over (see my point above re: her wanting him makes him want her more)

he wakes up, absolutely shook

this is an idealized reimagining for colin: during their first kiss he was basically in shock, his new personality chokes on the reality and vulnerability of the moment

in the book he talks about how he tries to think of something witty to say but finds that no words are necessary, and there's no combination of witty banter or suave bravado that could help in that moment. the rake persona that he has put on up to this point absolutely fails him. but here, in this dream, words are crucial, the declarations of love are why its sexy! (demi colin is canon idc idc)

and its so important that this wet dream, the idealized version of this scenario happens like this. because we've also seen colin having sex with sex workers (and luke newton has talked about this) but his energy in those scenes is very detached, very focused on him and his pleasure with zero connection to the women he's with. he has two different threesomes (if you can even call the second one that, he's barely even looking at them) with four different women and we know nothing about these girls. they don't even get names. they don't matter, and its simply not. as. good. as the feeling of kissing pen. there is no connection

which is, i think, why he taps out during the threesome in ep4. he tries to go back to the devil-may-care attitude toward sex and intimacy that he had before kissing pen, he tries to return to that mask he put on of "the rake" and it just doesn't work! he feels nothing! in fact he feels disdain for the position he's in and the choices he's made!

the threesome in ep4 mirrors the outburst he has later at the club really well. like he's so frustrated with this position he's put himself in, the men he's surrounded himself with. he literally says "none of you are gentlemen!" "you're actually gross and disrespectful!"

a line that i love is :

"... it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"

and they laugh! in! his! face! because these are men that feel perfectly fine sleeping with strangers and bragging about their "conquests" to their buddies

but that is not who colin is! he's still very young. and his experience with marina (who tried to seduce him and it didn't work, imo bc he just didn't feel that passion, that love that makes his relationship with penelope so different) has left him jaded, but not nearly as jaded as he wants to believe. even if he wants to be casual about romance and sex, he just isn't. this man proposed to marina after knowing her for what? a couple weeks? He is an All or Nothing type of guy. He has that Bridgerton 'when i fall in love i will only ever talk about my spouse' Gene

Now: some costuming details that i love:

Her hair:

(i know this is a stretch but go with me here) her hair is in slightly tighter curls than we've seen this season, which to me seems like a nod to colin liking (or at least not minding) her hair the way it was in previous seasons and maybe not caring as much as we might think about her transformation. but its still down and flowy and in line with her new style

let's talk about this! dress! (it has genuinely been keeping me up at night)

the sleeves seem much more similar to the silhouettes of her costumes in previous seasons, not necessarily in shape but in style

the sleeves are bulkier, compared to this season's costumes, which while they might have been the same size and shape, they are made of much lighter material, giving the silhouette a softer, more mature feeling.

compare it to this dress from s3 ep2: it looks very similar with the sleeve shape and the floral appliqués, but in the dress in the image above, the appliqués are much more obvious, closer to penelope's style under her mother's tastes

the point i'm trying to make here will be made more clear in a sec. what I am NOT trying to say that colin prefers her in her little girl dresses with loud designs, bright colors, and silly hairdos. he just associates those bigger, brighter, louder style choices with penelope.

And he has always liked Penelope. Even when he didn’t take her seriously as a potential partner, he always saw her as an equal. He never made fun of her silly dresses and questionable hair choices.

This has nothing to do with Colin but i feel like i should point it out:

there is something to be said about how her muted pastel color palette along with the more demure style that she has adopted shows that she is trying to Show Up with this social season, but as a wallflower, she is shy. she's always hated those brightly colored dresses her mother put her in, because no matter how close to the wall she clung, she was always visible. she was always vulnerable to ridicule.

but i don't think colin knows or realizes this because why would he think critically about the specific style changes she's made. and he probably doesn't really make the connection of the influence her mother has on her clothing. and around him, pen has never seemed all that shy. she's been confident and witty. if you pair her personality that shines around colin with her louder outfits, it seems more congruous

(take the scene from season 2 where we get the line "My purpose shall set me free") this is a side of penelope that no one, not even eloise!, sees

what his subconscious knows is that he associates pen with vibrant, textured, and often 3-dimensional outfits, and his subconscious creates a dress that fits her new style, with a little more of that featherington flair thrown in.

the fucking tie in front: i feel like this is a very clear reference/ foreshadowing to the mirror scene

for those of you who haven't read the book, the mirror scene doesn't actually happen, but colin tells penelope about a fantasy he has about touching her in front of a mirror

this is a pretty small offhand comment made while they're having sex for the first time but amongst book fans the scene has become pretty fleshed out i think, with fanfics especially

because the idea that it touches on is colin fantasizing about penelope seeing herself the way he does, as sexy and desirable (he seriously cares about her pleasure so much its sickening, I'm actually sick)

and although Book Colin doesn't mention it, the idea of him undressing her in front of a mirror has become a popular story set-up

i think the tie in the front sort of plays on the time period sensibilities of propriety: this is a time where in "good" society an unmarried man and woman would never touch skin to skin, its why all the women wear gloves most of the time. its why the scenes in season 1 between daphne and simon play on the excitement of removing the gloves: its a taboo thing

this is unrelated to this post but i need an explanation as to why pen isn't wearing gloves in a lot of her scenes this season, like the scandal that that would cause??? I'm assuming its representative of her growing into her sexuality; and bridgerton is a fantasy, not a historical nonfiction, but like some consistency would be nice guys bc i was so confused abt all the skin-on-skin contact happening. even with Francesca and Lord Samadani WHEN HE KISSES HER BARE HAND I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. especially because of all the glove-related tension in s1. but i digress.

so the tie in front is sort of a dare. even though its clearly an addition, and untying wouldn't actually remove her dress, its her (colin's subconscious version of her anyway) way of saying: "you could untie this, you could undress me if you wanted to" "i love you" "i want you"

and i think that's beautiful. this season is great and i will die on this hill.

If you've made it this far, congrats! you're just as feral as me! come and gnaw on the drywall with me while i post fanfics inspired by this season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55988977/chapters/142190584

chapters 1+2 of my new fic are up

photos are from : https://www.cap-that.com/bridgerton/302/index.php?image=bridgerton3x02_1502.jpg

#colin bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #penelope featherington coded #polin #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton meta #costume design #demisexuality #demisexual representation #demisexual colin bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 analysis #romancing mister bridgerton #romancing mr. bridgerton #adaptation analysis #some historical context analysis as a treat for me specifically

[reccyls]

Drink, Get Drunk, and Drown (Victor)

My translation of Victor's story from the drunk collection event:

Victor: And that means... Victor: It's time for the "Appreciate Kate for always being so hardworking!" meeting!

A rose emerged from the magician's wand that Victor held in one hand.

Victor: As thanks for always being so diligent in your role as Fairytale Keeper, I've prepared some delicious wine. Victor: And it's not much, but I've also made some snacks to enjoy with the wine.

Kate: Wow! Everything looks amazing!

Victor's handmade snacks were piled on the table, every last one of them looking delectable.

Victor: It's a reward specifically for you, so make sure to keep this a secret from everyone else.

Kate: Hehe... Sure, got it.

Victor: And with that out of the way, cheers!

As I partook in the wine, Victor brought over some crackers with various toppings.

Victor: Try some of these, if you'd like.

Kate: ! They're good!

Victor: I'm happy you like them.

(Victor really can do anything.)

His work as the queen's aide must be demanding beyond anything I could imagine, way beyond what any normal person could handle. And he supports everyone in Crown, and on top of that he can cook and sew...

(Now that I think about it, this is probably what people mean when they talk about "the perfect person".)

His form as he drank wine, with his hair tucked behind an ear, seemed like something out of a portrait.

Victor: Ah, that's right. How was yesterday's work?

Kate: Oh, that was--

As Victor listened patiently, I told him all sorts of stories, but...

(...Huh?)

Victor's cheeks were flushed ever so slightly red.

Victor: What's the matter?

(I was so caught up in conversation that I didn't notice, but...)

I lifted the bottle of wine, and discovered its contents were empty.

Kate: It's all gone?

Victor: Although I prepared it for you to drink... your conversation was so enthralling that I didn't notice how much I was drinking.

Kate: I don't mind, but are you okay?

Victor: Hmm?

Smoothly, his fingertips stroked across the back of my hand. My hand swayed, causing the wine glass to shake. In the blink of an eye, Victor was now sitting right next to me.

Victor: Your hands are small.

(He'd never approach me like this normally, is it because he's drunk?)

I was approaching tipsiness myself. And the happiness I felt that Victor was getting close to me like this added to the fuzziness of my thoughts.

Kate: Hehe, that tickles.

His fingers tickled as they continued playing with the back of my hand. When I lifted my gaze to meet his, I didn't want to look away again. The faint blush across his handsome face, and the mole right on his lips, everything added to his attractiveness. My tongue was tied because of how seductive he looked. And the way his fingers tapped on my thighs was another provocation.

Victor: ...May I rest my head here?

(He really is drunk after all, I think...?)

Awkwardly, I nodded. Beaming, Victor lay down with his head on my thighs, gazing up at me.

Victor: We've done this before, haven't we?

Kate: ...We have.

(But, this is completely different.)

Victor: Ever since then, I've always thought about maybe doing it again, from time to time.

He closed his eyes as I gently combed my fingers through his hair, his face relaxing.

Kate: ...Just like you've always watched over me as I worked hard, I've been watching you too. I've always been watching. Kate: I used to be so afraid of this place. And now it's somewhere I can feel at peace, all because of you, Victor. Kate: So, you don't have to work hard in front of me. I want you to be your true self.

Looking like he had something he wanted to say, Victor sat up. He gently stroked my cheek. In his eyes, I saw a wave of sorrow-- And before I could react, he had wrapped his arms around me.

Kate: Victor...?

As I sat there frozen, unable to concentrate on anything except the way my heart pounded in my ears, Victor lay down on the couch, still holding me in his arms.

Kate: Um, Vic-

Victor: ...Just a little while. Victor: Let me stay like this, just for a little while longer.

There was loneliness in the way his arms tightened around me. When I realized that, I let myself settle into his arms.

(Someday, if Victor asked me...) (No. I want to be someone he can depend on.)

With that thought in mind, I surrendered to the sleepiness that had crept up on me.

...

When I next opened my eyes, I was in my bed.

(When did I go back?)

That was when I realized that I was wrapped up in a coat.

(This is Victor's.)

The scent of alcohol mixed with the lingering scent of a quiet late night.

(It's like I'm being hugged...)

Recalling what had happened just before I fell asleep, I pulled the coat tigher around myself.

(I should go give this back to him.)

Trying to flee from the heat that would not dissipate, I stood.

...

Roger: Is that Victor's coat?

As I was on my way to Victor's office, Roger called out to me.

Kate: Yes. We were drinking together yesterday, but I fell asleep. I guess he let me use it as a blanket.

Roger: Ah, yeah. He never gets drunk, you know?

Kate: What?

The words stopped me in my tracks.

Roger: Victor's probably got the highest alcohol tolerance among everyone in Crown. Roger: He can down bottle after bottle without getting affected at all. Makes you wonder if he's even human, sometimes.

Victor: Oh my, if it isn't Roger and Kate.

Victor's sudden call from behind me made me jump in surprise.

Victor: You two looked like you were having fun. What were you talking about?

Roger: It's a secret just between the little lady and me.

Roger gave me a smile full of insinuation as he walked off. I was left alone with Victor, clutching his jacket and looking up at him.

Victor: ...Kate?

Childlike innocence was written on his expression, with no trace of the Victor that I saw yesterday.

Kate: I, um... Uh...

(Is this an act? Or...)

In the face of my uncertainty, Victor only smiled gently.

#ikemen villains #victor (ikevil) #my translation

[writingmeraki]

project : get the guy — enha hyung line smau.

project one : this is literally targeted hatred.

synopsis : chaos ensues when you're assigned to do a project with the four supposed "cool kids" of the university and even more chaos when apparently one of them likes you, just that you have no idea who. warnings : cussing, bit of baby slander (?)

word count : 2.4k

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"L/N Y/N."

Confusion flooded you as you thought Jungwon had called you but he wasn't in your class.

Keyword being thought.

You looked up from the bent position you'd previously been in due to texting on your phone and your eyes widened when you finally realized who had called you.

Now, Mr. Jeon was in no way a mean teacher, most of the time how he dealt with students was pretty lenient, so you couldn't help but feel guilty when he caught you doing not-so-fit for college things.

Which was right now.

Clearing your throat, you shoved your phone quickly into the side pocket of your bag firstly to make sure it wasn't what got confiscated.

"Y/N, tell me am I that boring for you to put your head down for almost 15 minutes."

Mr. Jeon looked at you while glaring and you scanned his face wondering how he had the patience to deal with students this early. It would certainly make his life easier if he chose another job but then again who were you to judge his career choices when you didn’t even know what you wanted to be?

Mumbling a small yes under your breath, you stood up and you smiled at him, one where your molars were grinding against each other.

"No…sir of course not! I was just…a bit unwell."

“The health center is always open, if you feel unwell, you can go there.”

If it were any other student, they’d probably be insulted and embarrassingly sit down. But you were not just any student especially nor was he just any professor.

You shrugged and were about to grab your bag, anyway ready to ditch the class. But he glared at you so harshly, that you just sat down quietly, not wanting to push his limits. He might just fail you, Jungwon’s words flashed through your mind.

“Sorry sir. I'll pay attention.”

You said it softly, biting your tongue for any snide remarks because you knew you'd only get in more trouble.

All your professors were great. You even behaved properly and they'd also be polite towards you. You just didn't understand why Mr.Jeon had such a problem with you.

Perhaps it was because you may have accidentally hit his car during that one time you were parking.

Or that one time you bumped into him and all his coffee spilled all over his white shirt.

Or that one time you made him trip when you'd kept your foot out while he was making rounds during a test.

Actually, he may have reasons to not favor you.

“Alright class. As previously mentioned I was rudely interrupted,” He quickly narrowed his eyes at you before he continued,

“You all will be given a project which will account for around 50% of your total grade for this course. This project is something where the process of how you handle it till the very end will also matter and not just the result.”

“And it is a group project.”

Groans could be heard and a few whispers and murmurs going around about taking people in the groups while you silently looked ahead.

This is where you felt a slight sense of regret for not making any sort of friends let alone acquaintances in this course.

It’s not that you were not a social person, you had your fair share of friends and even close friends. It’s just your social energy could only deal with so much and hence you decided to not make even more in a course where you probably would never see them again after the semester ended.

“I hope I don’t get you in my group again.” You heard someone say behind you while groaning and you turned your attention to him.

As cliche as it sounded, you paused a bit, eyes widening at the unrealistically pretty boy.

How did you not notice him before? Like ever?

You’d seen your fair share of attractive people, you were friends with said attractive people, but the guy in front of you was like attractive on another level.

“I deal with you enough in my life, not this time again.”

You turned your gaze to the other person he was speaking to.

You were sure if Niki was here, he'd definitely make fun of the way your eyes widened even more as you felt your jaw slack a little.

Since when did this class have attractive men?

Both of them looked like actual models, you couldn't even comprehend synonyms enough to describe them.

Mr Jeon cleared his throat which made you snap out of your weird daze, glad neither of them noticed you staring like a creep.

“And as much as I know you might hate me for this but the groups are already chosen. By me.”

It seemed the entire class collectively groaned in disappointment while someone like you was sort of happy because for one you weren't even sure who you would have been in a group with.

Although, you somehow hoped you'd get into at least one of the two hot guys. That is if fate was with you.

Mr Jeon smiled gently and continued,

“So what I'll be doing is giving you all a brief on what this project is. Then I'll list down the groups and member names, to which all of your members have to come upfront and take your material. Material which will soon arrive.”

That made most of the students perk up in curiosity including you. The university, despite making most students go into debt paying for the fees, rarely gave out materials without extra payment. It was ridiculous.

“This project is called ‘The Baby Project’ ”

You cannot believe you'll be playing with dolls in university but here you were.

"I suppose the majority of you would have this question, why? Well this course is about human psychology. As most of you would know. What will be observed in these four weeks is how the physical behavior and surroundings would affect the growth of a child in their brain development stage.”

“Another question you may have is why isn't it a set of two people, like parents. But for that, the issue is the number of students is more than what was expected hence you'll be in groups of four and due to odd numbers two or three groups will have five members.”

Of course the one time they provide materials, they don't have enough.

The classroom door was knocked on, to which you assumed a teaching assistant entered with a cart. Full of baby dolls.

It was actually pretty creepy with how realistic they looked.

“Your task is to simply take care of the child. Write reports on its behavior down to what you've been doing to take care of it. By the end, essentially we'll see how well developed your child has become and that would be your grade for the project.”

You were sure this was some sort of hatred towards you. You weren't a fan of children. You didn't hate them but you just mildly disliked them. Let alone toddlers who'd only scream, cry and throw up on you for no reason.

“Now before more of you start dozing off, I'll announce your group number, names and you all come and collect your child. Preferably, discuss a name in class and get it noted down by me.”

“Group one, Lee Soohyung, Kim Wonyooung, Sarah…”

Three more groups passed before it was your turn. Finally.

“Group four, Lee Heeseung, Park Sunghoon,”

You heard a low cheer and groan behind you,

“...Park Jongseong, Sim Jaeyun…”

You heard more cheers and sigh of either disappointment or relief you couldn't quite tell,

“...and what do you know? L/N Y/N.”

You blinked in disbelief. You were paired up with the pretty dudes? Did fate finally open up their chances to you?

“Did we really get that person who Mr.Jeon hates? We're going to fail what the fuck?”

Pause.

Your mini celebration was disrupted as you heard one of them whisper. Whisper about you more specifically.

“Please come and collect your child.”

You stood up, grabbing your bag and hooking it over one shoulder,turning a bit before snapping back at the guy who said that about you.

What a waste of a perfect face.

“You won't fail if you put in the effort.”

His eyes slightly widened when he heard you reply. He didn't know you heard, and felt a bit bad for saying that.

You turned forward, not paying attention to the rest, as you went near the place where the dolls were.

You didn't notice the four moving to stand besides you.

Turning to them, you calmly spoke,

“So we should introduce ourselves first I suppose.”

The first to speak up was the first pretty guy, and his voice matched his face, it was soothing and just…

“Lee Heeseung. Third year music student.”

A senior? Oh, he got even more attractive.

And the small smile he gave off after he spoke definitely did not help with your heart fluttering.

Another guy cleared his throat and it was pretty guy #2.

“Park Sunghoon. Second year psychology student.”

Your eyes widened a tad bit before you pointed out,

“Oh woah, same!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, second year psych.”

You smiled at him in content, glad you found someone who was having the same major.

“Uh, I am Sim Jaeyun but you can just call me Jake. Second year too but major in Physics!”

You really liked the sort of excitement he carried, it showed how he was a bit nervous but it was kind of…cute. And a physics major?! He was probably very intelligent.

In fact all of them were.

“I'm Jay. Park Jongseong. Second year culinary arts student.”

It was the guy who had some beef with you even when you didn't know who he was until now.

Too bad, such a good looking fellow had a weird prejudice issue.

You just nodded in acknowledgement at his introduction, trying your best not to roll your eyes with the way he spoke to you like you were just a bother in his routine. Dismissively and just merely out of convenience.

“Well. Nice to meet you guys, I think you must have figured out my name but yeah I'm Y/N, second year psych.”

Heeseung and Sunghoon nodded as they raised their hands to shake yours. You were a bit taken aback but you gladly shook their hands one by one.

Even Jay’s despite, and you may have squeezed his hand a bit tighter. Just a little for him to perhaps get a message.

“I see you've introduced yourselves.”

A voice spoke up from beside you, to which you internally groaned as you faced him.

Mr Jeon, was a psychologist. He was a teacher so it means he was a master in the subject because after all to be a teacher in anything, you have to be a master in it. He surely knew a fake smile when he saw one.

And you were wearing one right now as if your entire grade depended on it.

“Yes, yes we have.”

He turned towards the rest of your group, briefly smiling at them all and they were the typical college adults, smiling back awkwardly.

“Well, now pick your child and tell me the name, so you all can go as you please.”

“Right, yes, we're just doing that.”

To say the least, picking the child was something you didn't realize was as tasking.

Tasking because it seemed none of you could come to an agreement to choose which one.

Too creepy. Too ugly. Too dull.

“Guys. Come on, it's a fucking toddler. Just. Pick.”

As displeasing as you were to say it, you were glad Jay was able to control them. It seems it was something he did a lot.

Now that that daunting task was done. Another hassle comes. A bigger one.

Picking a name.

“Ethan.”

“No, we are not naming it your English name.”

“You have different names??”

“Bob.”

“I am not naming my child Bob, like what is that, a Bob cut?”

“Bob-bob cuts are hairstyles how is that even—”

“Jerry.”

“Wow, a mouse. You're so smart Y/N,”

“ If you don't shut the fuck up—”

After a whole bunch of disagreements, friendships almost breaking, a lot of seeing things you shouldn't in the first meeting, you finally got a name.

“Jaeyhoon.”

“What like a combo of Sunghoon and mine's name?” Jake asked to which you nodded and also added,

“Yes but Jay is there too, a Y after J-A-E. Fully spelt J-A-E-Y-H-O-O-N.”

“Hey! Where's my name there?” Heeseung asked to which you rolled your eyes at his pout. It was cute though.

“You can put your last name. Lee Jaeyhoon.”

And unexpectedly, Jay spoke up,

“And what about your name?”

“Uh I didn't think about adding mine.”

“How about its middle name? Lee Y/N Jaeyhoon.” Sunghoon said to which you actually didn't mind the sound of it.

Picking up the baby from the cart you raised it, “Welcome to the family Lee Y/N Jaeyhoon.”

It seemed as though it was happy with the name because next thing you know it's giggling to which you got slightly horrified and almost threw it out of your hands.

Luckily, Jay was there near you and was able to catch the child before any damage could be done right from the beginning.

“You should be more careful.”

“Sorry, sorry I didn't expect it…it to laugh.”

“It's not it, it's a he.”

You narrowed your eyes at his demeaning tone, about to retort when Heeseung waved his phone in front of you.

“We're going to be needing your number, so we'll create a group chat where we'll discuss how we go about this whole thing.”

You agreed by nodding and grabbed his phone. Typing in your number, you gave yourself a call so as to have his number.

“Okay. I think we're done for today aren't we? We can discuss what to do ahead after the lunch break?”

You didn't even realize it was almost 12 pm and your stomach grumbled in hunger.

“Righttt, well who's going to take the little human around for now? We can talk about what and how to go about after lunch?”

You asked around to which Sunghoon replied,

“How about we all just sit at the same table? Seeing we'll be talking afterwards anyways.”

Seems fair.

Though I should probably inform Niki, Sun, and Won.

“Sure, let's go then.”

a/n : GUYS ITS UP🙏🙏 FINALLY. also yes this is very much more writing based but it's just for you all to get an idea/brief intro to the characters, further going it'll have less written and more smaus parts! ( I hope) don't worry next chap you won't need to wait 29921 days. also Jay alr having need with u liek 😭😭 anways I'll do my best to upload asap <3 let me know what you think of this!!

taglist ( open ) : @strxwberry-skiess ; @whippedforbeomgyu ; @urszn ; @cha3w0n-hearts ; @cassie6392 ; @nicholasluvbot : @xiaoderrrr ; @eleanorheartschishiya ; @wonunuwoo ; @antonsgirlfriend ; @aygotnobitches ; @dimplewonie ; @hoeinthehouse ; @belovedsthings

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024

links : main navigation | enhypen masterlist | info

#— gtg 📃 #[ pri works ] #heeseung x reader #sunghoon x reader #jake x reader #jay x reader #enhypen #enhypen fics #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #jake #jay #sunghoon #heeseung #enhypen smau #heeseung smau #jay smau #jake smau #sunghoon smau #enhypen fanfiction

[orion-tyche]

Risk (3/4)

Summary: Omega and Hemlock are stranded in the middle of the Weyland jungle, and there’s only one way out. Work together. As Hunter and the rest of the Batch try to work through Omega’s loss, Omega discovers something truly, truly terrifying.

Word Count: 1861

Notes: haha guess what it’s not the last part!!! Maybe pt 4 will be the end maybe not I don’t really know!! Enjoy!! Also let me know in a reblog/reply if you would like to be on the tag list for pt 4!

Tag List: @twinsunstars @luzfeather

Part 1 Part 2

This was strange.

Omega was sitting in the middle of the Weyland Jungle, having survived a fall from the top of a mountain, next to Royce Hemlock. He was tending to his wounds, using a small medkit he kept on his person at all times. Of course he did. He was a doctor. An evil scientist, but a doctor nonetheless. He was applying bandages around the spot where Omega had shot him earlier. He finished and sighed, wincing as he turned his head towards Omega.

“…are you certain you don’t want me to take care of your leg?”

“Yes.” Omega replied firmly. Her left leg hurt badly, more so than everything else at least. But she didn’t want to give any kind of trust to Hemlock.

“It would be wise to let me do so. You appear to have landed on it. It is most likely broken—“

“Shut up.” Omega snapped. She didn’t feel like talking with him right now. Or ever, for that matter. Right now, she needed to figure out a way to get out of the jungle. Make it back to the mountain. There may still be a ship there for her to steal. Hemlock said a ship left shortly before she woke up, and that it was most likely her brothers. She didn’t trust him, but also wondered what reason he would have to lie. He probably wanted to live, too. Probably.

Omega sighed and moved some hair out of her face. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She couldn’t go anywhere at the moment, at least not without Hemlock. She grumbled and spoke to him.

“…do you have anything in that kit that could take these cuffs off?” She asked. Hemlock turned to her, his expression easing up a bit.

“No, I don’t. Even if I did, what makes you think I’d take them off? You’d run off and leave me to die.”

“I’d have a better chance of surviving. Both of us would.” She said, disdain in her voice. She didn’t want to work with him. She hated the very idea of it.

“Maybe so. But, at the moment, we must combine our efforts if we are to survive. This jungle is dangerous.” Hemlock said, overacting his surroundings. He was clearly worried about whatever was out there. Omega remembered her first escape from Tantiss, and the giant creature that had nearly attacked her and Crosshair. They were only able to get away because the Lurca hounds fended it off.

Omega didn’t like this. She didn’t like this at all. But…Hemlock, for once, was right. They couldn’t make it out of here alive in this state. Unless they worked together. Omega sighed and turned to look at Hemlock again.

“Do you…have any suggestions?” She was clearly unhappy to be asking him. But he had no reason to hurt her, at the moment.

“We need to cover ground. If we get back to the mountain, we can access my communicator and call for help.”

“You can call for help. I’m getting a ship and leaving.” Omega said. Hemlock grumbled and rubbed his temples.

“Your friends will have destroyed the rest of the ships. Or taken them all. Governor Tarkin is already on his way here, anyways. If we get to the mountain, we can wait for him there.” Hemlock said. He sighed and looked at Omega.

“You really think I’m going to let that happen? Let you take me back there when Imperials will be swarming the place? There’s bound to be another ship there, they can’t have taken them all.” She reasoned. There had to be a ship there. She was really hoping a ship was there. Otherwise…she didn’t know how she was going to get out.

“Fine,” Hemlock said firmly. “We can talk about that later. Right now, we need to get moving. If we wait any longer, it will be night before we get there, and then this place will be far more dangerous.” He moved to stand, then stopped. That strange look of concern was back on his face. “Can you walk?”

“Why do you care?” Omega gruffly asked. She pushed herself up and winced in pain as she felt her leg light up in agony. She nearly fell back down, but Hemlock caught her. She pushed away from him and stood on her own, putting most of her weight on her right leg.

“Because I don’t want you dying.” He replied plainly.

“Why? Because you don’t want to carry around my corpse?” Omega retorted. Hemlock rolled his eyes and sighed.

“It should be obvious enough by now, Omega. Use your senses.”

“Hmph. You think the Empire will let you continue with your work after this? You’re to blame for this destruction.”

“Your friends are to blame. I am indispensable. The Emperor will do anything to make sure his project is complete. As long as both of us are alive, I will be the most important man in the Empire. Besides the Emperor, of course.” Hemlock said. He stood up tall and looked towards the direction the mountain was in. “Let’s get moving.”

Hunter sat on the deck of his little hut on Pabu. He was looking out as the midday sun made the water shine. He sighed and leaned back on the bench. It had only been one rotation. One rotation since Tantiss. One rotation since the catwalk. One rotation since…Omega. Losing Omega. It hurt just to think about it. Wrecker had woken up just a few hours ago. Hunter hadn’t told him yet, but Wrecker was beginning to suspect something. It wasn’t that Hunter didn’t want him to know. He just couldn’t bring himself to say it. That would be admitting it, accepting it, knowing it. That she was gone. Gone. Dead. Hunter held his head in his hands, breathing deeply. She was gone.

Omega and Hemlock were making good time. They were nearly to the Lurca hound kennels, where they deemed the easiest access point was. Hemlock had explained the power was cut, so the ray shields shouldn’t be up. They could get in from there. Omega limped next to Hemlock as they walked through the thick jungle. Hemlock glanced over at her.

“…are you sure that—“

“Yes. Stop asking.” Omega quickly replied. She did not want his help. She wanted her brothers. She wanted to go home.

They walked a little further to a familiar clearing. Omega recognized it as the place where she and Crosshair had ended up on their first escape. She saw the tunnel where they had exited from as she and Hemlock approached it. Hemlock took the hand cuffed together with Omega and removed a panel from the outside structure. He fiddled with the wires for a moment, and the tunnel opened. He turned to her, his expression steely as ever.

“Omega. For once in your life, I’d like you to comply with my requests. We are going to head inside. We are going to head to my office. We are going to contact the Empire for help if Governor Tarkin has not already arrived. If there are ships left here, you are not going to take them. If you do escape, remember that I know how to find you. I know where you and your friends hide, and I will find you.” He spoke calmly, yet coldly. His eyes narrowed at Omega as she stood in silence. She nodded. She wasn’t going to do as he said, obviously, but she needed to get inside. And right now, the only way to do that was with him. The second she was separated from him, she would make her run for it. There had to be a ship. There had to be.

Hemlock and Omega entered the tunnel, crouching through the small space. Hemlock had been right, the ray shields were deactivated. They made it through with little to no problems. Though, Omega noticed several more concerned looks at her leg. It was still hurting badly. But she could make it out. She knew she could.

Hunter was standing outside of Shep’s house. Wrecker, Crosshair, Echo, and Shep were inside. He’d just told Wrecker what happened. Sort of. Either way, he wasn’t taking it well. Hunter had begun to speak, trying to get the words out, when he was interrupted. Crosshair had interjected before Hunter could say what happened, and he didn’t put what happened lightly.

“She’s dead.” He blurted out. “She’s dead and gone.” His voice broke as he spoke. Wrecker was silent for a moment, then began trying to deny it through tears. Hunter stood there silent as Wrecker practically begged for it to not be true. Crosshair was yelling at him, sobbing as well. Hunter had then left the house, standing outside where he was now. He could still hear Crosshair. Echo and Shep were trying to calm things down. Hunter stood outside, trying desperately to hold back tears. He had to be strong now. He had to keep the squad together. That was his job. That had always been his job. And he’d failed.

He had failed.

Omega and Hemlock walked through the deserted halls of Tantiss, now littered with the bodies of Stormtroopers and Clones alike. The two came to Hemlock’s office, which was dark and desolate. The doors whirred closed behind them and Hemlock locked them. The lights in the room were dim. There wasn’t much in the room. A small desk and chair, a raised table for examination, and a strange capsule on the wall to the right of the entrance. Omega couldn’t see what was in it.

Hemlock dragged Omega to the desk where he pulled out a small tool. He picked at the binders with it for a moment, and then they came loose.

“The door is locked. The vents are bolted to the wall. Do not try to escape, or you will face the consequences.” Hemlock said, not even looking at her. He placed the binders down on the desk and walked around to his chair. He sat down and booted up his communications device. Omega observed the room. It really was a sad little place. She walked over to the capsule on the wall. A small console was on the side of it. Omega checked to make sure Hemlock wasn’t looking at her. He was laser-focused on the comm. She turned back to the console and pressed the buttons to open it. The capsule front hissed air out, as it opened. Hemlock looked up as he noticed the noise. Omega waited for him to get up and scold her, drag her off, do something. He just softly smirked and turned back to the device. Something was wrong. Omega walked to the front of the capsule as it fully opened. Red lights lit up what was in it. Or rather who. Omega’s eyes widened in horror as she stared at the person inside, hooked up to wires and tubes. A heart monitor was attached to him, making that soft beeping noise that indicated a heartbeat. That indicated life. Omega felt a tear roll down her cheek as Tech slowly stirred and woke up.

Part 4 (coming soon)

#the bad batch #star wars #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #the bad batch season 3 #the bad batch spoilers #star wars tbb #sw the bad batch #tbb royce hemlock #royce hemlock #omega tbb #tbb omega #omega the bad batch #the bad batch fanfiction #star wars fanfiction

[mystique-6]

Kinktober Day 10: Butt Stuff?(I refuse to use the name of the actual prompt as the title)

Summary: Astarion asks to try something very specific in the bedroom. Ailis agrees even though it makes her nervous.

Hello! My hyperfixation on Astarion has got me in the writing mood so I will be participating in Kinktober using @flightlessangelwings Kinktober list. The pieces may be part of a bigger fic(s). I have started the fic. If you like these pieces in this series, please consider checking out my main fic, This is Me Trying. (Can you tell I like Taylor Swift?) Either way, I hope you enjoy. I do plan on completing the 31 prompts though it will take me past October. I also have the fic posted on AO3.

Warning: Anyone under 18 do not interact. Please pay attention to the tag warnings below.

Tags: Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Lube, Enemas, Light Dom/Sub, Kissing/Gentle Kissing, Feelings Realization

Additional Notes: This fic involves Spawn Astarion and we are back to the sweet and soft version.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from BG3.

            Ailis went to pick up the crate of washed dishes when she felt her ass be groped.  She whirled around to give the person a piece of her mind and found Astarion smiling at her.  He was clearly trying to stifle a laugh.

            “Hello, darling,” he said and then kissed her on the cheek.  She felt her aggravation slip away, but she didn’t want to completely let him off the hook.       

            “There are nicer ways to greet me, you know,” she said tersely.

            “I disagree,” he replied.  “Any chance to touch your perfect behind must be taken.”

            “I didn’t know it was you,” she huffed.

            “I don’t think Wyll or Gale would be brave enough to try it,” Astarion said with a smirk.  “Halsin might, but you most certainly would have heard him coming.”

            “Hmm,” she hummed and bent to pick up the crate again.  Astarion beat her to it.

            “I’ll get that for you,” he said and began to lead them back towards the center of camp.

            “You’re going to help with a chore?” she said.

            “Well, I am helpful like that,” he replied and she laughed out loud.

            “What do you want, Astarion?” she asked.

            “Darling, I’m hurt!” he exclaimed, though his broad smile suggested otherwise.  “Why would you assume I’d only offer help if I want something?”

            “Maybe because I have to badger you to complete camp chores when it’s your turn,” she said.  “If you’re offering me any kind of aid, then you want something.  Spit it out, Astarion.  What do you want?”  He set the crate don and pulled her by the waist into a kiss.  She smiled against his lips and snuggled in closer to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso.  When he broke off the kiss, he brushed a strand of her hair off her face and stared into her eyes tenderly.

            “I want to try something new with you tonight.  I’m not sure if it’s something you’ve done before,” he said.  The first time he’d said that to her, she’d scoffed and insisted there wasn’t much she hadn’t tried.  She’d been rather adventurous in her youth.  Her confidence had proven to be hubris.  She’d realized quickly that Astarion had much more sexual experience than her and there was quite a lot she hadn’t tried before.  He never once made her feel bad for not knowing something and he was always patient with her if she had concerns.  So, the prospect of trying something new with him now intrigued her.

            “What do you have in mind?” she asked, her heart fluttered with excitement and anticipation.  Astarion smiled as he noticed it and brushed his thumbs across her cheeks as he cradled her head in his hands and kissed her forehead.  She smiled.  He really wanted whatever was on his mind.

            “Have you ever tried anal sex?” he asked, doing his best to sound casual, but he was clearly anxious asking her.  Considering her racing heart nearly came to a dead stop at the question, she supposed she understood why he sounded a little hesitant.  She shouldn’t be shocked he was asking.  He’d never outright asked her before, or even said he wanted anal sex, but he’d hinted at it with words and touches.  She knew Astarion wanted in her ass.  She’d have thought, as a vampire spawn, he’d be more of a neck guy.  And right now, she really wished he was.  She wasn’t sure how she felt regarding anal sex.  She didn’t think it was wrong or anything, but the concept of it made her nervous.  That’s why she’d skirted around his hints before.  She couldn’t do that now that he’d outright asked her and was waiting on an answer.

            “No,” she said, drawing out the word.  “I haven’t.”  Astarion nodded, even though she knew he’d expected that answer.

            “Are you interested in trying it?” he asked.  He had his arms wrapped around her waist, but not so tightly she couldn’t break free of his hold.  He was giving her the choice to stay close to him or take space if she needed it.  For that reason alone, she didn’t pull away and reached up with one hand to gently tug at a white curl resting above his forehead.

            “I’m guessing you are?” she said, avoiding the question.  He smirked.  He knew what she was doing.

            “I’ve had anal sex before, Ailis.  Giving and receiving.  You know this,” he said.  She nodded.  She knew.  “I would like to try it with you, but I’m not sure how you feel about it, other than that it clearly makes you nervous.  Are you at all interested?”  She squirmed and tried to think of a way to divert the conversation, but her mind stayed blank.  She glanced at his expectant gaze and sighed.

            “I’ve never considered it before,” she said.  He didn’t look surprised.

            “Are you willing to consider it now?” he asked softly, running a hand gently up and down her back, trying to ease her tension.  She hesitated.

            “Won’t it be painful?” she asked, thinking about where his dick would breach.  The anus wasn’t the vagina.  It wasn’t designed to have anything go up it.

            “There may be some pain,” he admitted, “but with proper prep it shouldn’t be unbearable.”  She pursed her lips as she thought about it.  “Ailis.”  She glanced back at his face.  “Do you really think I’d suggest something that would cause you tremendous pain?”  That questioned settled it for her.

            “No,” she said.  “I don’t.  All right.  We can try it.”  He smiled widely at her and pulled her in closer for a kiss.

            “Meet me at our spot in fifteen minutes,” he told her and then hurried off.  She smiled fondly at his retreating figure until her eyes landed on the crate of clean plates. 

            “What an asshole,” she sighed, and grabbed the crate and headed back to camp.

            Fifteen minutes later, Ailis stepped into the abandoned building of the Last Light Inn that she and Astarion had essentially made their hook up spot.  He was already there, pulling a clean sheet over the mattress.  She saw he had supplies ready on the bedside table.  The bottle of oil didn’t surprise her, but she didn’t know what to think at the sight of the 2-liter bag attached to a tube and nozzle.

            “Hello, darling,” Astarion greeted her as he approached.  He pulled her into a kiss.  “Ready?”

            “I guess.  I’m nervous,” she admitted.  He gave her a soft smile and kissed her forehead.

            “That’s understandable, but you’re with a professional,” he said.  “I’ll make this a good experience for you.”  She smiled and leaned into his chest as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug.  His own wrapped around her torso and he squeezed her tightly against him.  He kissed the crown of her head and they stayed that way for a moment, both enjoying the other’s presence.

            “Okay,” she said, pulling a way.  “Let’s get started.”  His lips quirked up in an amused smile.

            “All right,” he agreed and lifted the 2-liter bag of water up off the nightstand.  “Let’s get started on the prep work.  Do you know what this is?”  She was about to shake her head, but then paled as realization hit her. 

            “Is that an enema?” she asked appalled.  Astarion put down the enema bag on the bed.

            “It is,” he said evenly.  She could tell her was trying to keep her from freaking out, but also giving her space to have an honest reaction.  That was probably the only reason why she didn’t flee immediately.

            “Why do you have that?” she asked.

            “It’s part of the prep.  Anal sex can be messy.  Taking an enema first can fix that problem,” he explained.

            “So, you want me to…” She broke off.  She couldn’t finish that sentence.  “Is it really necessary?”

            “It is for me,” he said.  “I’ve had to deal with the mess before and it’s never been my choice.  I won’t do this without you taking the enema.”  His voice was firm, but he wasn’t arguing with her, or trying to be difficult.  He was just setting a boundary.  But his boundary was pushing at one of her own.

            “I…” She didn’t really know what to say.

            “Ailis, have you ever had an enema before?” he asked.  Her face turned tomato red.  Her instinct was to deny it, but instead she nodded, while at the same time, wrapping her arms tightly around herself in a self-soothing hug.  “I take it that it wasn’t a good experience.”  He said it softly.

            “It was not,” she said stiffly.  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

            “I’m not going to make you talk about it, but I would like to understand why you are so averse to it,” he replied.  “Did it cause you pain?  Were you…”

            “It was embarrassing, okay?” she snapped.  “I felt shamed over it for weeks!”  She found herself pulled into a tight hug.  She slowly felt her tension ease and she unwrapped her arms from her own torso to wind around his.

            “I’m sorry you were made to feel shame over it before,” he murmured softly in her ear.  “I don’t know who administered one to you before, an old lover or your mother, but you didn’t deserve to be made to feel bad over it.”  He tipped her chin up to make eye contact with her.  “I promise I won’t do that to you.  We’ll get it done and over with and move on to more enjoyable activities.  It won’t be brought up outside of here.”  She believed him, but she still hesitated.  He played with a loose strand of her hair.

            “We also don’ have to do this, Ailis,” he said.  “It’s okay if you change your mind.”

            “But you want this,” she said.

            “I do,” he said, “but not at your expense.  We can do something else that you’re more comfortable with.”  She buried her face in his chest and he ran his hands soothingly up and down her back and stamped an occasional kiss to the top of her head.  She sighed after a moment and pulled back.

            “How do you need me positioned to administer it?” she asked.

            “You’re certain, Ailis?” he asked and she nodded.  “All right, then.  Come to this side of the bed and lie on your side facing the door.  Remove your pants and undergarment first.”  She did as he directed.  He adjusted her to be centered a little closer to the middle of the bed, and then hooked the enema bag to the bedpost.  She started to roll over onto her stomach and raise her hips, but he stopped her.

            “You don’t need to get in that position, darling,” he told her softly.  He gently pushed her right leg up until her knee was parallel to her chest.  She saw him reach for the oil and knew he was putting some on the nozzle.  She jumped when he fingers spread some oil around her entrance, and then tensed when she felt the nozzle nudge at it.

            “I need you to relax,” Astarion said soothingly.  “Take a deep breath for me.”  She did as he said and felt some of her tension ease from her.  At the same moment, she felt the nozzle slide into her and she made a face.  It didn’t hurt, but it was uncomfortable.  And if this was uncomfortable, she couldn’t imagine how his dick would feel.  Her thoughts broke off from that though, when she felt water begin to flow into her.  She flinched and Astarion immediately climbed into bed behind her and pulled her back to his chest while murmuring words of encouragement in her ear.  She tried to focus on the words he was saying, but it was hard to focus on anything other than the odd sensation of watering flowing into her.  Her stomach began to feel full and tight and suddenly a cramp ripped across her lower abdomen.  She whimpered, and the flow of water stopped.  

            “Cramp?” Astarion asked.  She nodded and squeezed her eyes shut as another rolled through her.  Astarion lowered a hand to her distended abdomen and massaged it, trying to ease the cramp.  She sucked in a few deep breaths and finally her muscles relaxed.  “That’s it.  You’re doing so well.  You only have half left.”

            “There’s still that much left?” she whined.  He kissed her cheek.

            “It’ll be over soon, Ailis,” he assured her.  She sighed, but nodded, and he unclamped the tube.  She grimaced as the water began to flow again.  She began to curl in on herself as another cramp tore at her abdomen.  She felt Astarion reach for the clamp again, but she stopped him.

            “Leave it.  I want this over with sooner rather than later,” she said through gritted teeth.

            “But you’re in pain,” he replied.

            “I’ve felt worse.  Just let it empty,” she growled.  He sighed, but left the clamp alone.  He moved his hand back to her abdomen and tried to tub out the cramp.  After another moment the water stopped.  “Is it done?”

            “Yes, but I want you to try and hold it for fifteen minutes,” he replied.

            “What?  Why?” she cried.

            “To ensure your entire system is cleared out,” he said and she groaned.

            “Fine,” she agreed sullenly.

            “Do you want me to remove the nozzle?” he asked.  “You might feel more secure with it in.”

            “No, I want it out,” she said insistently.

            “Of course, darling,” he replied and she felt him gently ease it out of her.  She immediately curled up into a ball.  He curled around her and stroked her hair.  She tried to breathe her way through cramps, but they kept increasing and it wasn’t long before she felt the urge to go.

            “How long has it been?” she asked.

            “Five minutes,” he answered.  She whined.

            “I have to go,” she complained.

            “Try to hold it a little longer, Ailis,” he told her.  “Ten minutes isn’t as long as it feels.”

            “Easy for you to say.  You’re not the one dealing with these cramps,” she grumbled.  He kissed the top of her head.

            “You’re almost done,” he assured her.  She muttered a few curses under her breath and he laughed.  She tried to focus on his hands gently stroking her wherever he touched rather than on the cramps, but she was fighting a losing battle.

            “I can’t!” she cried.  “I need to…I’m going to…”

            “All right.  It’s all right, darling.  Go,” he said and she shot off the bed and out the door.  She didn’t even take the time to slip on her pants.  She just hoped none of her companions were around to see her. 

            About twenty minutes later, she rejoined Astarion in the abandoned building.  She saw he’d cleaned up and put away the enema equipment and she felt immensely grateful to him.  He looked up at her cautiously from where he sat on the bed and held his arms out to her.  She rushed into them and he pulled her down on his lap for comfort.  She buried her face in his neck and he held her tightly as he began to rock her.  It wasn’t long before she felt her nerves were soothed and she remembered why she’d agreed to that particular prep work.  And although she still felt nervous over it, she decided to move the night forward.

            She stamped a kiss to his neck and then his jaw and then the corner of his mouth.  When he started to smile, she kissed him deeply, moving a hand up to frame his face while the other tangled in his hair at the base of his head.  He held her tighter in return.  When the kiss finally broke, she leaned back and removed her shirt and upper garment.  She reached for the base of his shirt, but he grabbed her hand and stopped her. 

            “Not yet, darling,” he said and pressed a kiss to her palm.  “There’s certain logistics that need to be discussed.”

            “Such as?” she asked nervously.

            “I know you typically like to be face to face during the act, but it might be physically easier on you if I enter from behind,” he said cautiously.  She hesitated.  Since they had found their spot at the Last Light Inn, they had been able to expand upon sexual positions they enjoyed as she was less likely to be triggered looking down on a mattress than dirt that reminded her of her trauma.  That being said, her nerves were on fire.  She wasn’t sure she liked the idea of not being easily able to see his face.

            “I’m not sure,” she replied.  “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” 

            “Do you think you can manage it while I prep you?” he asked.  “I’m not trying to push your boundaries, Ailis.  I just want to make this as easy on you as possible.”

            “I think I can handle that,” she said hesitantly and he kissed her again.

            “Stand up for a minute for me, darling,” he ordered and she obeyed.  She watched as he removed his shirt and then adjusted the pills on the bed.  When he had them how he wanted them, he guided her down onto the bed.  He maneuvered her so her hips rested on a pillow, raising her ass in the air.  He’d also arranged a pillow for her to hold onto if she wanted.  She wasn’t normally inclined to grasp onto her hide moans in a pillow, but tonight she thought there was a chance she’d need to.  She squeezed the pillow and tensed when she saw him take the jar of oil from the nightstand.

            “I need you to relax for me, darling,” he said, running a soothing hand up and down her spine.  “Take a few deep breaths.”  She did as he said and slowly relaxed.  She heard him uncap the bottle and then he parted her cheeks so he could access her more easily.  She stiffened again when she felt a cool, wet finger press against her puckered hole.  He pressed a kiss to the bottom of her spine and she took another deep breath as he played around her entrance, applying pressure, but not yet breaching it.  As she got used to the sensation, she finally relaxed completely and that’s when he pushed in.  She squawked at the foreign sensation as he slowly pushed into her and tensed.  She felt every groove in his finger as she clenched around it.

            “Are you all right?  Does this hurt?” he checked in.

            “It doesn’t hurt,” she replied.  “But it…it feels weird.”

            “Good weird or bad weird?” Astarion asked and she looked over her shoulder to see him grinning in amusement.  She scowled.

            “Just weird,” she replied tersely.  His free hand soothingly massaged the back of one of her thighs.

            “You’ll get used to the feeling,” he promised.  “I know if can be shocking the first time.  Now try and relax again, darling.  I can’t move without hurting you while you’re this tensed against me.”  She listened and took a few deep breaths.  This time, she also fantasized over their post-coital cuddling and her muscles eased up faster. 

            “That’s good, darling,” he praised and began to move his finger inside her.  Her brows furrowed at the strange sensation, but after a while, she did grow accustomed to his exploratory thrusts.  And it wasn’t awful.  She could feel a spark of interest between her legs, but the interest died when she felt another finger at her entrance.  He began to slide a second finger in with the first, and this time, there was pain.  She tensed and the pain sharpened as she stretched around his fingers.  She let out a sputtering gasp, and he stopped.

            “You need to relax, darling.  You’ll only make this painful if you’re this tense,” Astarion said. 

            “I tensed because it hurts,” she panted between quick breaths. 

            “It can be a little painful at first.  It shouldn’t be unbearable though.  I’ll use more oil,” he told her and removed both fingers.  She took the moment to suck in a few deep breaths and almost managed to relax before both fingers were at her entrance again.  They slowly pushed in, but even with the extra oil, there was still a slight pain from the stretch.  She focused on her breathing and tried to set her mind on a fantasy of the them together, but she couldn’t fully ignore the odd feeling of his fingers dragging against her inner walls in a part of her body she was growing more and more sure of that he didn’t belong in.

            “Tell him to stop then,” a voice inside her head said.  She opened her mouth to do so, but stopped.  This was something Astarion really wanted.  He’d asked her for this, and despite always being the one in charge of their sexual escapades, he rarely asked for anything.  She had to at least give it a fair chance, and in her opinion, two fingers were not a fair chance.  Two fingers were barely a chance at all.  So, she continued to draw in shallow breaths until his fingers were pushed fully inside her.  He stopped moving and she tried to focus her mind on anything but the ache caused by his fingers inside her.

            Thankfully, he also wanted her mind on something else.  He leaned over her and kissed her cheek.  He trailed kissed up to her ear and sucked the lobe into his mouth.  She gasped and couldn’t help a slight thrust of her hips.  The movement caused him to move inside her, but he didn’t give her a second to think about the slight pain it caused.  He used his free hand to brush her hair off her neck and began to kiss and nibble his way down her neck.  He then moved to a shoulder blade and pressed a soft kiss to it before he bit down, though not hard enough to break skin.  This time when she thrust down, there was enough friction to tease her clit and a spike of pleasure went through her so strong that even his fingers inside her felt good and she moaned.

            She felt him smile against her shoulder, and he started to move his fingers inside her again.  There was a slight sting as he pumped and scissored her open, but she was beginning to enjoy the feeling.  She experimentally thrust her hips back towards him and groaned as his fingers sunk impossibly deeper insider her. 

            “Mmm.  Yes.  That’s it, darling,” he practically purred.

            “Harder,” she ordered and he laughed but obeyed.  He thrust harshly into her a few times and she chased after her please as she thrust into the pillow and then back on his fingers.  She let out a frustrated whine when he removed his fingers completely.  She opened her mouth to complain, but her jaw snapped shut when she felt three fingers prodding at her entrance.  She tried to remain relaxed and focus on the pleasure she’d been feeling, but she couldn’t even think to move her hips to get friction as the sharp, burning sting returned worse than ever as he stretched her wide.  She bit her lip as her eyes watered and tried to bear it, but the pain worsened the deeper he went and she whimpered, feeling a tear spill over and down her cheek.  He immediately removed his fingers. 

            “Okay, Ailis.  I’m stopping,” he said in a soothing tone.  He tried to help her roll over, but she resisted.

            “No.  I’m fine,” she said, quickly brushing the tear away.  “You can continue.”  She glanced over her shoulder and saw him frowning.

            “Ailis, you clearly don’t like this,” he said.

            “I was enjoying it a minute ago.  I just need to adjust.  Now, come on,” she urged, raising her hips up to put her ass on display, trying to tempt him back into sex.

            “Ailis, sit up,” he ordered and she sighed.  She shifted onto her side and rested her head on her hand so she could look up at him.  He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and gave her a soft look.  “Why are you trying to force yourself through this and why do you want me to let you?”

            “You asked to try this,” she said, frowning.

            “Yes.  And you agreed to it,” he said, “but you aren’t enjoying this.”

            “I was enjoying it a few minutes ago.  I just…”

            “You were enjoying humping against the pillow,” he said.  “You were tolerating me fingering your ass.”  She scowled.

            “I didn’t tell you to stop, so why are you?” she snapped.  “You have the go ahead.”

            “Why would I want to keep doing something you’re not enjoying?” he said.

            “You like anal sex,” she said.

            “Yes, but I like you more and you don’t,” he replied looking completely baffled by her obstinance.

            “You asked for this.  You almost never ask for anything when it comes to sex,” she cried.  “So, I need to give this a fair chance.”  He stared at her with wide eyes and tugged his hair with his hands before taking a deep and unneeded breath.

            “I think you’ve given it a fair chance, Ailis,” he said gently.

            “A few fingers aren’t a fair chance,” she argued.

            “I think it is,” he said.  Angry tears filled her eyes.

            “Well, I don’t,” she replied.  “It’s not a fair chance until you get your dick in me and actually fuck me.”  The tears spilled over.  He brushed them away before she could.

            “I think we should stop, Ailis,” he said softly.

            “No,” she refused.  He sighed, but nodded.

            “I’m only going to agree to continue if you accept my bargain, all right?” he said.

            “What bargain?” she asked.

            “If you aren’t enjoying it after I’m inside you after three thrusts, we’re putting an end to this,” he stated firmly.  “I think we should put an end to this now, but I will continue against my better judgement if you agree to this bargain.”

            “Ten thrusts,” she bargained.

            “Five,” he returned with a sigh.

            “Eight.”

            “Five, Ailis,” he said.  “No more.”

            “Fine,” she snapped.  “Five.”  She flopped back over on her stomach.  He snorted.  She waited for him to resume prepping her, but he draped himself over her back and grabbed her arm and then brought I down underneath her and settled her fingers over her core. 

            “Touch yourself,” he ordered.

            “W…what?” she said.  He pressed their entwined hands down so her fingers put pressure on her clit.  She gasped.

            “Touch yourself,” he repeated, practically growling in her ear.  She mewled and began rubbing circles over her clit.  He removed his hand as she began to work herself over.  His fingers returned to her entrance.  She hesitated for a second.  “Don’t stop, Ailis.”  She continued and he sunk one, then two fingers back inside her.  She groaned, but any discomfort she felt was outweighed by the pleasure from the attention she was giving to her clit.  He thrust his fingers in her once, then twice, and on the third thrust, she pushed her hips back to meet him.

            The next time she felt him at her entrance, three fingers breached her.  The burn returned, but she continued to play with herself and after a moment, the burn eased and she fucked herself back on his fingers as he pushed into her and scissored her open.  Suddenly, he removed all fingers and she whined in complaint.

            “Sorry, darling, but I believe you wanted a change of position,” Astarion teased, rolling her over onto her back.  She reached up for him to pull him into a kiss and he humored her.  When he pulled away, he reached for the pillow under her and tugged it until she was positioned how he wanted her, with her hips lifted up off the mattress.  He removed his pants and undergarment and she saw his thick and turgid cock and felt a spark of anxiety.  It was far larger than three fingers.

            “You’re not going to fit,” she said.  He smirked, and she could tell he was stifling a laugh.

            “I’ll fit,” he assured her.  “Are you ready?”  She wasn’t sure, but she nodded.  His cocked lined up to her entrance and began to push in.  The burn was worse than each time before.  She bit her lip to keep from whimpering, but she couldn’t help a tear from escaping.  “I can stop, Ailis.”

            “We agreed on five thrusts,” she ground out through gritted teeth.

            “But if this is unbearable for you…”

            “It’s not.  Continue,” she ordered.  He sighed.

            “Try to relax.  And keep touching yourself, Ailis.  I didn’t tell you that you could stop,” he said.  She groaned and did as he ordered, increasing pressure on her clit to combat the burn as he pushed into her until finally, he bottomed out.  She panted as she tried to adjust to him.  Astarion was large.  Even vaginally, he was a lot to take, but she didn’t think she ever felt so full as she did right now.  She used the arm she wasn’t using to pleasure herself to wrap around his waist to keep him close.  He kissed her damp cheek and then slowly began to slide out.  He pulled back only about halfway, before slowly thrusting back in.  She took a deep breath and bore another two thrusts.  On the fourth her drew back farther, and she wrapped a leg around him and pushed at him when he thrust in, forcing him somehow even deeper inside her.

            They both groaned, and Astarion stopped holding back.  He pulled all the way out, and then shoved back in.  She felt the burn of it, but the sensation was almost pleasurable now.  The next time he thrust in she pushed forward to meet him.  One of his hands found hers and forced it to the mattress by her head, and held it there gently with his own.  They kissed sloppily, though passionately as they moved together, panting into each other’s open mouths as they joined together.  Ailis felt his rhythm start to falter and knew he was about to cum.  She was nearly there herself.  Tension was building in her core.  Sparks of pleasure shooting off like electricity as she played over her clit.  Muscles in her thighs and core were twitching and she felt her cunt start to clench.  She increased the pressure on her clit and her body jerked as she went over the edge.  All thought seeped from her mind as the world around her faded. 

            When she came back to herself, she noticed Astarion had stopped moving.  He laid across her torso, and was pressing gentle kisses to her neck.  She could feel him still inside her, though he was soft now.  He’d also found release.  She lifted a hand and carded it through his now messy, white curls.  He smiled against her jugular and then pushed himself up so he could look at her face.

            “How are you feeling, darling,” he asked.  His smile was fond and relaxed, but she saw caution and worry in his eyes.  She cupped his face in her hands and gently pulled him down to her for a deep and languorous kiss.

            “Never been better,” she replied when the kiss ended.  He smiled and stroked her cheek.

            “Did you like it though?” he asked.  “And don’t lie to me.  Please.”  She hesitated, and thought over her response.  She didn’t hate it, but…

            “Maybe we can relegate it to special occasions,” she said.  “When is your birthday?”  He laughed and kissed her again.  When he pulled back this time, he also pulled out of her and she winced.  He immediately moved down her body to inspect her entrance.  She grimaced as he probed a her gently for a moment.

            “No tears,” he told her.

            “I didn’t think there would be,” she said.  “You said you’d make this a good experience for me.”  He smiled and they kissed again before he rolled off of her and then pulled her back against his chest.  His arms wrapped snuggly around her.

            “Thank you for this,” he murmured in her ear.  She smiled, and snuggled back against him, trying to eliminate any space between their skin.  She started to drift off to sleep when suddenly her eyes shot open wide ad her heart began to pound against her ribcage.  The cold, icy grip of fear latched onto her as she realized what she’d been trying to suppress for weeks now.  What she felt was the absolute truth.  This was no longer a fling to her.  She loved him…and that terrified her. 

#astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #bg3 #bg3 tav #kinktober

[queer-ragnelle]

Hi! I was wondering if you had any advice on how to craft a well-written, compelling Arthurian OC that isn't obnoxious or out of place but is still unique. I recognize the difficulty in doing so with so many different source texts (I'm most familiar with Le Morte, so that's usually my go-to) and the vast list of already existing characters. I'm just curious about your thoughts on the matter, since you're an author and also very knowledgeable about Arthuriana 💖

Hello there!

This is a tough question to answer! I think it's important to note that everyone will have a different opinion on this, but that shouldn't alter you writing your story how you want to. Some think adding any characters at all is too big of a change, while others write a full cast of original characters and then Merlin shows up randomly and makes the story "Arthurian."

I'm going to say something controversial.

Every Arthurian character is an OC.

Even King Arthur himself is an OC.

I'm going to elaborate on this quite a bit, as it's very important to me. But the TL;DR is that reading more will definitely help you conceptualize the boundaries of what's possible. Le Morte d'Arthur is a great start, but there's so much out there, both medieval and modern, that'll undoubtedly aid in your Arthuriana writing journey! :^)

While I do say things like "I love Arthurian OCs" as a means to convey that I view everyone's new creations as valid and interesting, I actually don't believe in a strong differentiation between Chretien de Troyes' Sir Lancelot or Marie of France's Sir Lanval and what you or I are writing today. We're participating in a tradition which can, at times, necessitate the creation of a new character or repurposing of an existing one. I think as soon as you create a character for your Arthurian story, they're an Arthurian character. Some refer to Lancelot or Galahad as "French OCs" or call Knight of the Cart or the Vulgate "fanfiction" as a means to degrade it's validity. Some seem to have an arbitrary timeline on which the full body of Arthurian works is measured, and the more recently something was written, the less authentic it becomes. I think they're wrong. I believe that whether or not we enjoy an installment in the ever expanding Arthurian tradition is irrelevant; it's all equally entitled to a measure of respect, even the new characters. No character or story is lesser than another by virtue of its age or language of origin or target audience or medium. I disdain the excess of scrutiny put upon certain arbitrary groupings of Arthurian tradition. Each story is full of original characters and building on the foundations of what came before. That's the nature of creative influence. Whether or not Arthur was a real person at some point in history is moot. The guy in the Mabinogion or the Vulgate or Le Morte d'Arthur or BBC Merlin is a character. He's a tool to tell a story. Such as your creation will be! Your brand new Arthurian character stands equally with all the rest who preceded them. :^)

Now, it can be helpful to distinguish between a medieval character and a modern one, sure, as they may represent different things depending on what point in history (or part of the world) they were created in. But Arthuriana isn't a franchise one must obtain express permission to contribute to, and it doesn't have a "canon," so therefore differentiating a character as "other" can be counter productive when developing a story. I don't believe Sir Robin from Monty Python and The Holy Grail (1975) or Brian from The Adventures of Sir Lancelot (1956-1957) are any less valuable as characters, even if they do draw on traits of existing Arthurian motifs in order to commentate on them or otherwise expand. In fact I think they're great characters and serve their narrative roles beautifully. One simple and one complex. I recommend watching those to see how it's done well and that may help you develop your own characters. But I'll delve into it a bit here to illustrate what I mean.

Sir Robin carries the coat of arms of a chicken, he's a cowardly knight followed around by a troupe of musicians that sing songs about all of his exploits. That is, the things he's run away from. Rather than use an existing Arthurian character and degrading them, Monty Python developed Sir Robin in order to tell their joke.

The flipside is Brian, a bona fide kitchen boy, who attaches himself to Sir Lancelot and desires to squire for him. Brian's narrative purpose is to deconstruct the nobility in a way that Gareth Beaumains, whom Brian is plainly inspired by, could not. Brian begins as a true serf forced to endear himself to Sir Lancelot to elevate his station. Merlin forges papers of nobility to convince King Arthur that Brian is worthy of this privilege. Even after that, Brian must face the brutality of his fellows while living in the barracks with them, as they don't take kindly to a "smelly kitchen boy" in their midst, plotting to get Brian to incriminate himself as a thief and get evicted from Camelot by Sir Kay. This role is incongruous with Gareth as Sir Gawain's brother, who was always noble, always a prince, and merely cloaked himself in the guise of poverty to prove a point. Gareth could return to the comforts of wealth whenever it suited him and his reason for going stealth was to intentionally distance himself from that privilege. The character Brian exists in order to commentate on the injustice of the upper class's oppression and dehumanization of the lower class in a way Gareth, or even Tor, could not, as they are of noble blood, even if it came by way of reveal. That's why Brian is a great addition to the Arthurian tradition.

Really, it comes down to treating the creation of your new Arthurian character like you would developing one for any other work, one entirely separate from the tradition. If they're a good character, they're a good character! Try not to get hung up too much on whether or not they're going to mesh well with the rest of the cast. For centuries, writers have transformed historical figures into Arthurian characters. (See: King Mark of Kernow better known as the Cuckhold King from the Prose Tristan, Owain mab Urien better known as Sir Yvain from Knight of the Lion by Chretien de Troyes, Saint Derfel better known as Derfel Gadarn from The Warlord Chronicles by Bernard Cornwell, etc.)

Speaking of Prose Tristan, would anyone consider Sir Dinadan an OC? Or Sir Palomides? They're characters added to a story drawing from a much, much older tradition, and I think they enrich the story. I feel likewise about the many Perceval Continuations, including the German Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach, which adds a half brother named Sir Feirefiz, or names Chretien's anonymous haughty maiden Orgeluse. What about Sir Aglovale's son Moriaen in the Dutch tradition? Amurfina in German Diu Krone by Heinrich von dem Türlin? Morgan le Fay's daughter Puzella Gaia in Italian La Tavola Ritonda? Not to mention the countless Middle English additions. The Green Knight and his wife? Dame Ragnelle and Sir Gromer? Or how about everyone's favorite Savage Damsel, Lynette of Castle Perilous? Is she not a late-era addition to the tradition courtesy of the man, the myth, the legend, Sir Thomas Malory himself? And then here comes Tennyson, who read Le Morte d'Arthur, and got to the end of dear Gareth Beaumains' story and had the same reaction we all did: "What the hell? He marries her sister?" And then he went about changing that in Idylls of the King. Speaking of Lynette, what's up with her niece Laurel? She's just a name on a page, the vast majority of retellings choose to ignore her, even if they do keep Lynette and Lyonesse. Laurel can scarcely be called a character, after all. She doesn't even have dialogue. So as I've gone out of my way to make her a prominent, fully developed character, with her own culture and back story and motivations, does that make her an OC of mine? And Henry Newbolt who included Laurel in his play Mordred: A Tragedy. And Sarah Zettel, who wrote from Laurel's point of view in Camelot's Blood. We did all the work, but we threw an Arthurian name on the character, so therefore, she isn't ours? But if we changed her name, she would be? Who gets to decide?

All of the Arthurian characters belong to all of us. That's the beauty of writing in a long-standing tradition, which exists apart from all other forms of writing. We have complete creative liberty to do what we want and refer to it how we want and no person or corporation or anyone can dictate otherwise. The intellectual property of Arthuriana belongs to the people. So invent a brand new wife for Gawain, and well, you're only the millionth author to do it! Just make sure she's an interesting character and that's literally the only requirement. Can't wait to meet her. (And all others you create!)

Have a great day!

#arthurian legend #arthurian legends #arthuriana #arthurian mythology #arthurian literature #writing #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #writeblr #ask #merilles

[tobiasdrake]

(Re: The Ginyu Post) 1. If Ginyu had only ever body changed with other mutants, then that might explain why he hadn't encountered the same problem he did with Goku. Goku's power requires a lot more skill to access. 2. Not really relevent to anything but I just want to note that we also see someone who may be a Namekian Mutant: Nail, who Friexa clocks at about 42,000. Though he's also the personal guard of the Grand elder, so it's also possible he reaped the benefits of unlocked potential like Krillin did

Yeah, Nail is pretty amazing for such a short-lived character.

Vegeta should be grateful that the Ginyus showed up because this was probably about to end badly for him.

Jeice's line here has been through some fixing. The original version had him astonishedly reading that Vegeta's battle power is coming up to 20k. This, of course, doesn't seem that impressive since he was said to have been 18k on Earth and, in fact, read at 24k earlier in this very arc.

The line was later revised to set Vegeta's current BP at 30k, following his zenkai from Zarbon.

Viz hedges their bets here by using the original 20k number, but adding "And still rising!" Which is still kinda janky because now Burter's reacting with astonishment to an explicitly lowball estimate of Vegeta's ki.

Either way, uh.

Yeah, if Vegeta had succeeded in starting shit back there, he was about to find out real fast and in a hurry why you don't fuck with the Grand Elder's bodyguard. Nail was about to happen to Vegeta in very much the same way that Recoome later did.

Pictured: An approximate estimation of what Vegeta didn't realize he was volunteering for back at Saichoro's home.

It is a pretty popular theory that the reason Nail is this powerful is because he's already had his dormant power drawn out by Saichoro. It is the logical conclusion. Saichoro can draw out a person's dormant ability from someone and there doesn't seem to be any reason he wouldn't do that for his personal bodyguard and attendant. He does it for Krillin, Gohan, and even Dende.

This is never confirmed nor refuted in the manga. The only explanation ever offered for Nail's power is that he's Senshi Taipu or a "Warrior-Type Namekian". This sets him apart from those earlier 3k BP Namekian fighters, as Saichoro notes that he's the only Senshi Taipu on Namek.

Viz says "true warrior" in place of Senshi Taipu which is kind of a slap in the face to those other guys. Now it just sounds like he's shit-talking the dead. Rude.

But the idea is that Senshi Taipu is the other special class of Namekian. The other being Ryuzoku or "Dragon Clan", the sorts of Namekian mystics who do things like create Dragon Balls. The Nameless Namekian was Ryuzoku - and a prodigy Ryuzoku, at that.

It's weird to me that one is a "Taipu" and the other is a "-zoku". We have Ryuzoku, the corrupted Mazoku, and Senshi Taipu. Why isn't that one a -zoku? But I digress.

Something interesting to note about this is that it retroactively implies explanation for how Piccolo was able to reincarnate himself stronger.

"He broke off a piece of himself that's even more powerful than he is because, uh, of reasons." Kind of a weird thing for him to be able to do, right? Why doesn't our Piccolo ever spit out an egg and make Piccolo III who's 8x more powerful than Piccolo? If spawning copies of himself that are superior to the original is a thing he can do then that implies some brand new options.

The Namek arc implies some explanations. During the Frieza battle, Dende explains to Piccolo that he's Senshi Taipu, so he can't learn mystical arts like healing magic.

But the Nameless Namekian and by extension God and PIccolo were Ryuzoku like Dende. So the implied retroactive explanation for how Piccolo was able to make his new self more powerful is because he reincarnated as Senshi Taipu, trading in the mystical package for pure battle power.

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #piccolo #nail

[louisisalarrie]

How can there be a bbg ending? Like Louis just says ‘oh btw he’s not mine’

if u are a PR member from Louis’ team, please listen carefully, because there are a couple of ways to end it, and I will be expecting my pay check asap thank youuuuuu.

Simon Jones, or whoever you may be, welcome to the show!

(these are the sad endings where we feel bad for Louis and boost his image to the gp as a good guy):

1. fight ending in paternity test (a number of different arguments could be used for this) and then bam turns out B has been using him for money like her ex said she would do to Louis and slept with multiple people around that time. Now, you may be thinking “oh but L has publicly treated this kid like his own and he’s a nice guy surely he’d still want to be in this kid’s life” and Louis would make a statement like “if F wants me to be there still as a person in his life I will be but that’s up to him. Please respect their privacy” but we never end up seeing any more photos of them etc., so it’s essentially over. Oldest trick in the book. He’ll come out looking squeaky clean. I kinda think that’s why they didn’t do a paternity test sooner. It’s the last trick up their sleeve to end it when they were ready.

2. Louis is like “I’ve known for a while he’s not mine, but I didn’t want to announce to the world because I still care about him and it would cause a fiasco for him and B from the fans, but B and I think it’s time and I am going to take a step back from his life to not put him in the spotlight any further. Pls respect their privacy” so he looks like he’s lied for a little bit, but “known for a while” would be post AOTV, and he was just worried about his kid dealing with the media and fans and the onslaught that would bring. What a good and caring guy who’s looking out for a kid that’s not even his! Wow.

Those are just 2 that come to the top of my head. There would need to be further planning and more detail, but you get the gist. Those 2 remove his paternity completely. NOW these theories also heavily depend on the way larry wanna come out. Is it gonna be a shock tell all? Because in that case, the above doesn’t matter. Or is it going to be coming out separately and then getting together? Is it going to be coming out together and saying it’s a new thing and they “reconnected”? Well, that I don’t know. But the two above still confirm that Louis is, or was, into women and didn’t, or still doesn’t, define himself as gay. So that’s also a spanner in the works which again, I don’t entirely know the identity he aligns with, but I lean towards gay over ever being bi etc. because of his interactions with women.

So if we want to look at ways where he looks like the good guy (also not sad in a club but I guess maybe a bit??) and entirely remove him from ever being near a vagina, this is my main one:

1. Louis was a surrogate for B at the time as she is a close friend and was in a space to have a baby and he was happy to do it because he loves kids and wanted one of his own but he’s gay so he can’t, so it worked out well. The media took things out of perspective and blew it up into something different than what it was, but they ran with it because he wasn’t ready to come out. And wow… what a generous and loving guy! He loves that kid and he’s still a dad, he’s lied to us but it’s just because he was scared to come out, that’s truly both a heartbreaking and heartwarming story. (The timeline of bbg is messy as it is, so this would need some refining to work without looking suspicious).

So, how do we make him not a dad and ALSO never been into women? Well… a tell all is gonna be the best way to do this, exposing the stunts. But legally, a huge process (unless they say fuck it and cop whatever the repercussions may be). But if we’re doing a slow coming out, I think he’s gonna kind of have to be F’s dad unless it’s a paternity test or a tell all. He’s in too deep with AOTV and the Instagram posts and his family and shit. I don’t think we can have 100% gay and 100% not a dad without it being truly bizarre for the gp to swallow.

Idk im very tired but you can also go to my bbg tag and just have a sift through where I talk about this a bit more in depth.

#anon #answered #bbg #louisisalarrie chats

[coexistentialism]

Hey answer this at your own leisure- I have DID and I really relate to a lot of your posts? I think ive even sent you an ask before but i forget so i apologize if ive said the same thing.

Ive known Ive had DID for ages- and in the beginning i thought i had a ton of alters, and now years later 5 months have passed and i dont know who i am at all. Alter advice isnt helpful at all cause it feels like I have no differences. So basically I feel like nobody, Except When Im writing and roleplaying? I have tons of ultra developed characters that I "project" onto and I've been theorizing that my characters Ive created are actually vessels for alters? Or actually my alters? I think I even explained it once as "my characters are all self inserts for my different selves"… Ive never heard of this ever happening to another person and im very unsure. Of course I dont expect you to like diagnose me or anything but i was just wondering if you…had any input? Thank you for taking the time to read this btw I know it was long.

Hii, I went to sleep most of the day, so I'm just seeing this now lol and I love this because that's basically my experience, albeit it with some differences.

Once I was diagnosed and throughout my questioning, I figured that most of the "characters" I made were just alters.

I actually still struggle to comprehend creating characters that isn't just "you" (an alter in some way).

The Warrior cat books were a special interest of mine, and I "created a character" named Rainwhisper, but it wasn't really a character, it was just Me, as a cat in the series.

I liked Utau and Vocaloid, and I created my own Utau called Roxy Mizu, bit it was really just Me as an Utau.

Art and writing is a big way for alters to express themselves, it makes sense. Especially if you grew up in an environment where many of the other ways of self-expression weren't allowed. For example, I was never allowed to look or dress the way I wanted, and most self-expression was punished, made fun of, Not Allowed. So it makes perfect sense to turn to other means of self-expression, when you have no other way to express yourself as a person, and as individual alters (who may not realize they exist, but they are still expressing themselves).

For me as well, my online accounts have also been a huge way of expressing myself (/individual alters to express themselves). Certain icons associated with certain usernames. I get uncomfortable if my Discord icon is something that I don't really vibe or resonate with/doesn't really feel Right. I always grew up changing my icons and usernames a lot, sometimes coming up with a ""fake name"" to use for myself online "for privacy." In reality, I do think it was just alters wanting their own names ad wanting to express themselves, we just didn't know it/realize it/weren't aware we existed as our separate selves at all.

I've known other systems like this, but it never quite feels the same. But lots of systems have talked about how their "characters" turned out to be alters.

Similarly, video games can be a huge way to express yourselves as individual alters (again, without necessarily realizing it. It's not like I ever knew "I am my own separate Entity and this is me now lol" it's never like that for me). Especially if the game has a lot of customization options for your player character, you might find yourself constantly changing how your character looks to fit your Vibe/mood/etc. in the moment. This is my experience, and I 100% think it pertains to different alters expressing themselves.

I'm all about the small details of alter differences when it comes to figuring out alters. I think my autism is kind of an interesting thing in that regards, and because my DID experience is so.. Subtle? It makes sense why my autism combines with that to be able to notice incredibly small details like that, that I find that many other systems just. Overlook completely and/or don't even realize are things at all. Like, I just notice that many systems don't even realize or know that you can be switching without even knowing it, but without individual alters even knowing they exist at all too. It just feels like/seems like most other systems online just go "I know this is an alter because (distinct overt thing)" but don't realize it goes deeper than that sometimes for a lot of systems actually.

I've definitely had experiences where I felt so distinctly different that it was at least easier to assume I was some kind of alter, but it's still not quite like that, and is not my norm (and usually only happens while high).

For many people with DID, it's really, really subtle and alter switches are happening without the person and without the individual alters even knowing/realizing it. I actually read a research paper recently that really put a lot of my thoughts about this into words, Diagnosis Of Covert And Subtle Forms Of Multiple Personality Disorder Through Dissociative Signs if you want to read it! I've been working on a bigger post that goes over it, and goes over my own additional thoughts and feelings about how to figure out if you have DID through incredibblyyy subtle things like what's described in the paper.

It is from 1988, so some info is outdated, but it was still so, so nice to finally read a paper that really talked about these things. I wonder if I can find similar papers from more recent years ("recent" here doesn't necessarily mean like 2020-present, I consider things from 2010, and/or 2015 onward much more recent than, like... 1988 for example LMASNDKS)

#My posts #Inbox #ActuallyDID #DID System

[terrorbirb]

Almost a before and after (I had started messing with her lips already in the 'before'). The eyes changed because I broke the first ones lol. Everything is done with acrylic paints.

Technically, still not done, but I am DONE with this. Never doing a custom doll again.

#mila berrymore #my dolls #rainbow high #custom rainbow high #i just didnt love this process mostly because getting eyes in and out sucks #this may have something to do with me also not personally ever doing make-up #i just dont wear it #i love how anxious she looks lol

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao

Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet

#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff #roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao #taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see #could be funny! #but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really #it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway #ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it #the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work #an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy #no thank you to that I think! #I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast #hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun #I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone #so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :( #but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post. #I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one #again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man #askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic! #highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!! #ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)' #just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles #'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.' #ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny! #random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why #maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf #pop rox talks

[carrotpiss]

🐰🧡🐻

#in stark contrast to most of my personal posts this is about me being happy and gay #because i need to just get it out my system bc otherwise i am just going to grab a friend by the shoulders and scream (in joy) in their face #i am dating someone and its really really nice and sweet and cute and like nothing ive ever experienced before #and instead its like every tiny little dream about this kind of thing ive managed to hold onto despite every experience otherwise and ahhhh #the lack of focus on just sex or sex appeal is so nice its like there but as a side thing so its nice and i dont feel like an object #i feel like a human person with thoughts and feelings and interests outside if that and feel safe in that and feel safe that everything wont #just be discarded if i dont want to do that like i feel like boundaries and stuff are an option! without jeopardising everything #and el likes me as much as i like them and wants and sees and communicates that they want something long term and ahhhhhhhh #i just want to cry like holy shit this is everything ive ever wondered about like i have spent so long wondering what this feeling would #actually feel like and its so good and so indescribable and ahhhhhhh #waking up on monday night and seeing them in my bed and cuddling me was just so nice i felt wanted i felt... loved #this all seems so out of left field still i still feel like i just never saw it coming but its so welxome and nice and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #my pessimism is still there but its less loud now its more learning to accept this may not be perfect forever but letting me enjoy the now #crouch speaks #it feels so nice to not be scared and to feel secure and ahhh #also it made me laugh El remembered me hitting on then at the Dgoals release show making them blush lol #i only remember the time i hit on them later at the groles show so its funny i pretty much used the same line twice and it still worked #i cant wait to see them again i cant wait to hold hands in public again i cant wait to be idiots who keep blushing too hard and accidentally #kissing eachother on the nose instead of the mouth because we are stupid and gay and pathetic about it hahaha #just ahhhh i could gush forever how perfect the 2!!! dates weve been on were and the fact they want more and more and ahhhhh #this is so lame i know i just haven't experienced anything remotely like this before and its just... wild #like wow holy shit what on earth i have been so increasingly miserablely depressed and insecure from the shea stuff last year and then this #just absolutely removed all of that i actually feel like a human person again with value

[paimonial-rage]

So I kinda want to start my own writing blog but I have like zero followers and idk where to really start? Ur one of the few blogs I look up too a lot! 😭 I just wanna know if u have any advice for a beginner like me?

Aw thank you so much! That’s really kind. ;u; <3 Funny thing about this question! I was kind of talking about this with a friend yesterday. Sorta. The difficult thing with creating is that like… people are like, “Don’t worry about other people! Create for you!” But at the same time, what’s the point in creating if it’s not for others to see? We create because we want to share with others, you know?

My theory on the matter is…. still what those people say. Just write and post your stories. If you create while worrying if people will notice you, you’re going to cage yourself into feeling you need to meet (what you perceive to be) their expectations of you. When it comes to creating, it’s one of those things that you just have to trust the process. When you create what you want to create without mind to others, people WILL notice that. They WILL get attracted to you and what you write. They WILL come to look forward to your posts. You just have to trust that they will.

Do your best not to get too caught up in the amount of notes you get for something. You’ll find that things you’ve tried really hard on will barely get any notes while things you wrote for fun will get a lot. It can get draining at times.

If you are still concerned with not having any followers, one thing that I think really helps is being the reader you want others to be for you. As a writer, there’s nothing more flattering than someone reblogging my stories with tags or sending in asks saying what specifically they liked about my story. Or well, honestly it doesn’t even need to be things they liked. When they simple share their thoughts and what it made them think about, it’s very flattering. And it makes me want to check out their own blogs and follow them back.

It’s scary to start writing, but once you start, you will get people that like your work. And they’ll stay for your work, even if you go weeks on end not writing. Just trust the process, you’ll definitely get there! And when you get that blog up, maybe you could drop me a line so I can check it out too, hm? ovo <3

#oh! make sure to tag your work properly #also this is just my personal opinion but like… #if you have a decent amount of ideas you want to write you should do those first before opening requests #what you write without influence will create a baseline of what readers can expect from you #open up requests too early and… idk #there’s a good chance you’ll receive very self-indulgent requests #ones that you may not feel comfortable or interested in or even qualified to write #make sure to set boundaries #and if you ever find yourself too obsessed over notifications I highly recommend turning them off #it’s helped me a lot #what kills a writer the most is getting too anxious over expectations #remember #you are doing everybody a FAVOR for letting them read your writing #don’t let you trick yourself into thinking you owe readers anything #readers are very simple people #they’re just happy to read something nice #readers never expect gold from you but it’s easy for you to trick yourself into believing they do #they’re just happy when you post #so don’t take your perception of expectations too seriously haha

[wrathfulrook]

Yoooo I’ve been up for 38.5 hours and I’m in the shower technically but I’m just sitting on the floor while the water goes and I NEED to get up and get clean and go tf to bed but I’m too sleepy to do the tasks required to get to bed

#also like at what point of sleep deprivation do hallucinations start bc the longest I’ve ever stayed up before is 32 hours #and I uhhhhh really don’t wanna deal with hallucinations #update: I’m in the hallucination window and need to finish up fast bc now I feel like I’ll be so scared about experiencing a hallucination #that I’ll like self fulfill prophesize myself into hallucinating the bay man or something #but these fears of hallucinating come from a fear that I may be rn? #I hear crickets and I’m hoping it’s my brain just trying to make sense of the shower sounds white noise #but I’m afraid I’ll turn of the water and just so clearly hear crickets #which would help me sleep ig… #ok. gonna turn on iasip while i shower so I have something light to focus on #wish me luck! #not far cry #personal