#this is the same gd team of writers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onlyhereforangst · 3 years

Text

WWR

Alright y’all a likely final WWR coming at you, you know 3 months late the day of the dreaded s19 premiere. This definitely gets ranty and emotional, if you’re a Gibbs stan scroll the fuck away & don’t send me hate anon. This is bittersweet and it hurts and I’ve been living in denial for months but I needed this little bit of closure before the writer’s absolutely fuck it up in less than 6 hours. I hope you enjoy my emotional ramblings & I’ve absolutely loved writing these for the past two years, i’ll miss it & your reactions to it dearly ❤️

Badass Ellie is allllllways a treat, and protective nick contrasted to her making albeit slightly reckless decisions is top tier. And then followed up by him being impressed as hell??? He’s like damn my girl just did that and I am not turned on, no way, we are working I am not turned on, nope. Nick sitting at Ellie’s desk in the beginning PLS. Feet kicked up feeling mighty comfortable for someone who hates sitting at a desk 👀 only ok with it when it’s Ellie’s, huh Nick? Also I love that he’s sticking with the nonchalant approach like he did when he found her looking up Eastern Europe locations. He knows if he pushes too hard it won’t go well, but he is still concerned for her well-being. Those pieces slowly clicking into place that something isn’t just off- it’s worrisome off. Because while yes he’s still nonchalant he’s a touch more serious this time, ignoring her attempt at a brush off and claiming “he wants answers.” It’s a subtle step up from 18x14, but it’s there. His spidey senses are tingling and he’s getting less and less able to hide his concern for her 🥺 even if he tries to play it off as flirty banter because yes he’s still gd impressed with her moves and even tells Vance as such essentially.

Flash forward to at the stash house and they find the files plus the mini debrief back in the bullpen…I truly am inclined to believe Ellie doesn’t know here. I mean sure she realizes that the timing fits to a certain extent—she was at NSA when this happened, but I don’t think she knows this is the beginning of her end. She’s like “oh they’re selling secrets too” and “my contacts are all gone” like…I just, she seems too casual and not at all on edge. Idk so far I’m just not getting that vibe. She even brushed off McGee with the whole that was ten years ago almost like she didn’t remember it? But then at the same time she did bring up the whole legal vs ethical- she hedged, but she did mention it. She was not super gung-ho about OMG THIS WAS SO UNETHICAL WTF HOW COULD THEY DO THIS so still……..idk lets continue haha

Ok her knowledge of guns is slightly concerning but also Nick finds it concerning AND hot, boy can’t help himself lets be honest. That “damn” that slips out please, so many sirens going off in that head but also you’re just like well fuck talk dirty to me some more babe. Aaaaand here we go, here’s why I know Ellie didn’t know that odette was going to plant that shit right now. “Whoever took them from the NSA’s code-level servers risked a lot more than their career” with a little like duh face from Ellie SCREAMS that she did not, would not, EVER do that. The leak was fabricated by Odette and the fact that it would be planted during this case was all Odette unbeknownst to Ellie. Or why the fuck would Ellie so casually and somewhat judgmentally be like “who TF would leak something like that, man they stupid, committing treason and whatnot.” And Ellie is SHOOK when Vance tells her it was her. Like shook as in, blinks several times, shifts her weight back, glances at McGee with a flash of surprise in her eyes. That body language screeeeeams being caught off guard. If she had leaked those documents and if she had known this was a plant, she wouldn’t be caught off guard. And no matter how well you can try and play the part, that body language is legit. She’s shocked someone would even think about that and oh man, Nick. Nick’s face hurts me (and I know this is just the beginning). Because a man who has always seen himself as the bad egg, the criminal so to speak, the one who would do something shady before any of the others. He is shook and angry that Vance could even consider accusing Ellie of this. And then there’s the genuine concern etched on his face (and I’d know, the screen is currently paused on his face staring at Ellie with a worried furrowed brow and pain clenched in his jaw) because he knows logical Ellie wouldn’t do this but also he knows he’s been seeing little puzzle pieces fall into place of suspicious behavior and this is just one more thing that doesn’t sit right with him- doesn’t fit the woman he’s come to know and love. And while I know he truly believes she didn’t leak the files, I would bet right here he’s concerned about what the fuck she’s gotten herself wrapped up in.

And she continues to be adamantly against this, like Eleanor Raye Bishop would NOT ever leak intel, not as a baby NSA analyst who believed she was doing the right thing always in her role. Never once bringing up questionable ethics, she thought it was the greater good, that little patriot. She’s so adamantly against it and then Vance asks if she was framed, and I think that’s the point where Ellie realizes this is Odette. The word framed all of a sudden clicks it all into place and she picks up it might be “go time” for her. Her glances over at Vance have changed, they’re more cautious, calculating. She hears they’ve been leaked over ten years ago and she knows that she didn’t do it 10 years ago so this very well may be the notice of eviction from Odette. The “we’re coming for you, Agent Bishop” and her little look, oooooh Ellie is fired up. Her switch flipped and she’s now gotta hunker down and defend herself until she can confirm with Odette. Vance doesn’t even let her get a word in to “fight” for her innocence. But the fact that she’s getting sent home pisses her off, she wants to be close to the investigation, know what’s happening, and I’m sure a part of her still resists being dubbed that traitor of the state. Who knows, Odette may have never told her how she would become a disgraced NCIS agent, and this may have pissed Ellie off because her integrity is something she prides herself on. Her line, “I’m not Gibbs […] I’m innocent line” is like a tiny bright spot to chuckle in during this dismal finale. Gibbs hate train right hereeeee

Love that Kasie is immediately on the Ellie defense side, not looking forward to her reaction to Ellie leaving IF they even decide to show us.

Gibbs telling Ellie “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” when he fucking up and left the team without so much as a goodbye or sorry for committing police brutality like fuck outta here Gibbs. Ellie is CLEARLY vulnerable right now, she’s been accused of leaking classified documents aka committing treason, she’s suspended, she’s on the brink of going on some dumbass undercover op and is begging, pleading, for any sign from you- her boss and father figure- not to do it. That he shows remorse for leaving the team without a word, that he regrets his decision to just disappear on them, that he wishes he hadn’t or he had done it differently. ANY kind of sign to tell her not to go through with what she’s about to go through. Literally any sign, and instead Gibbs gets defensive and bites back that she’s picking the wrong time in her life (LIKE HELLO YOU JUST SAID IT RIGHT THERE IDIOT, SHE’S GOING THROUGH SHIT MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS BUT NO YOU’RE WRAPPED UP IN GIBBS LA-LA-LAND AND HAVE SAID FUCK YOU TO YOUR SUPPOSED KIDS), so now Ellie is even more pissed and gets defensive back telling him he doesn’t even know what’s going on in her life and if that’s not a desperate cry for help I don’t know what is. like she is begging you Gibbs to pick up on it and figure it out, begging you to do your job that’s you’re supposedly so good at and save her from going through with this stupid mission. And then Ellie realizes that he stopped caring about them. He’d gotten so wrapped up in what he was doing, he stopped caring about their lives, the problems they were facing, anything. Him *not* realizing something was happening??? This is Gibbs, this is the man that always knows what’s happening before you even know what’s happening. So the words “I’m starting to realize that” hit like a fucking dump truck. He’s too preoccupied with his own boat-making nonsense that he can’t be bothered to have even an inkling of an idea of what’s going on in their lives. And he doesn’t seem to care that he’s dropped them from his life. And that’s when it hits Ellie, he’s never coming back. He’s cut the team out of his life and he doesn’t care. He has no regrets, he can’t even be bothered to have a single regret. And I think that, right there, is when Ellie decides she’s all in. I think there was always a small part of her that was hesitant to go along with odette. Hesitant to just upend her career and her relationships (aka Nick, but we’ll get to this), all of it. But hearing that the man she looked up to even though he’d made some mistakes, the man she viewed as a father, the one person who’d taken a chance on the nerdy analyst long ago, the one constant through all the turmoil she’d had, just left? Just left without a goodbye, without remorse, without even a parting thought for her? That was it for her. Whatever brainwashing Odette had fed her that she’d pushed back against from fully taking over finally broke free. And with it, Ellie grieves, she’s tearing up from knowing what she’s about to lose. Lose the man she viewed as a father, the coworkers that were like a family, the partner she’d found herself loving like she’d never loved before.

Ugh poor hurt Nick, he’s willing to do all the grunt work that he abhors in order to free up McGee so he can save Ellie. Nick knows he doesn’t have the skills and I think that’s killing him even more so. He can’t just do it himself, he has to rely on someone else to clear her name (to which he bumped back to last name in a last ditch attempt to maintain distance and keep some semblance of emotions in check, which is failing miserably), and that is killing the doer we know and love. LOL “so you’re both wrong” this poor man I love him, I can’t wait for the tears that will come from me later 🥲 nick immediately taking Jessica’s help, I love it. He’s like I don’t give AF who will help us but I am clearing this woman’s name if it’s the last thing I do. And then she walks in and he’s frozen. All these emotions running through him and then she’s there?? And she ignores him??? Ignores all of them?? Rushes past and storms up to the director on a suicide mission??? Yeah this is why I said that conversation with Gibbs was her last nail in the coffin. She hadn’t decided to go through with it (hence why she hedged earlier with Vance) and then he went and was a piece of shit so she said the hell with it and went all in. She can’t even bring herself to speak at Nick, barely looks at him, because she knows, she knows if she speaks to him, if he gets a chance to try and talk her down in the heightened emotional state she’s in after talking to Gibbs, she won’t be able to hold it in. She won’t be able to deal with seeing emotionally charged and hurt Nick. So she ignores him and McGee and does what she thinks she has to do. How hard did it have to be for Ellie to tell Vance not to defend her, and that their intel was correct? 🥺🥺 it goes against everything she’s ever stood for and she just went and did it. She hates liars and yet she lied. She loves her country and yet she claimed she committed treason. Her body language once again screams uncomfortable but trying to play it off. She’d nodding and repeating it over and over because she needs to convince herself of the words. They leave a bitter taste in her mouth and she can’t stop it. All she can do is clench her jaw a little tighter and get it over with and convince herself.

Nick is in disbelief, obviously. McGee looks like he’s five seconds from breaking down because his little sister is supposedly a traitor??? Like he can’t believe it. He’s hurt she would do something like this even though he still knows in his gut that it can’t possibly be true. And oh FUCK the part where Nick’s voice cracks asking if Vance fired Ellie. Fuuuuuuuck me. This man’s heart is breaking for what’s happening to Ellie and being completely in the dark about it. Sure they weren’t really clear on what “they” were after The Talk but still. He thought she was open with him. Ever since the jail cell, things had shifted and he thought she’d been honest with him. He’d picked up on those little things, but maybe it was just training or something, NOT committing alleged treason and quitting the one career she loved. Not leaving him in the dark and vanishing without so much as a word. Not that. Because she KNOWS his past, she knows how much shit he’s been through with people in his life leaving without so much as a goodbye. And his voice continues to crack asking about what’s going on because he’s literally in shock. McGee is desperately trying to keep it together, keep some sort of figurehead for the team. Nick is in shambles ok, just like I’m in shambles. He’s adamant she didn’t do it because he KNOWS her. He knows she would never in a million years leak classified intel and now he’s just confused like a lost and kicked puppy. She didn’t DO IT, and she’s not answering her PHONE. He just wants to talk to her, he just wants to know she’s ok, wants to comfort her, wants to convince her to stop and it’ll be alright and he’ll take care of her and he’ll save her because that’s all he wants to do and always has, right? Save her. Save her from everything in this world that could hurt her. Protect her from life’s dangers. Protect her because he can’t bear the thought of losing her. And that all is crumbling down around him. All of it, crashing down like an avalanche, ready to bury him alive in grief and guilt and despair and anger. How am I supposed to TALK to her, he just wants to fucking be with her. He just wants to be there. With her. For the rest of their lives.

Ellie looking at the hat, please. That’s a lifetime of regret packed into one facial expression right there. She’s looking at that hat, the one she cherishes from the moment Gibbs hands it to her, and knows it’ll be the last time she ever sees it again. It’s not something she can take with her, and it’s full of fond memories—most happy, some sad, a few bittersweet—but memories that have made her life whole the past 8 years. And there’s officially no going back, she’s admitted to treason, there’s no way out of that. She’s having to say goodbye to all of her career without saying goodbye to any of them, all of that is wrapped up in that hat. A hat that’s so simple but signifies so much to her. She definitely was not expecting McGee to come out and so her rebuttals to him are exasperated and grasping at straws initially. She tries sarcasm and then she tries to brush it off “it doesn’t matter, it’s done […] I get that, I don’t want to talk about it” when McGee voices that he’s hurt over this and her reputation matters to him. Because he’s like another brother to you dammit Ellie. Yeah he’s grown since he said Ziva was like a sister to him and just stomped on your heart, he didn’t say it then but you’re like a sister to him too Ellie. I love that he fights her on it, and Ellie is like shit I have to come up with something. I don’t think she expected McGee of all people to fight her on this and I’m so glad he did. A little bit of growth because he is not going to see another person he views as family leave him again. And Ellie’s half assed excuses please, all of it is just such BULLSHIT because when they first debriefed she was just like “ethical? Hmmm” nothing more, nothing about being a vigilante and being up in arms over this like she claims she was. Bullshit Ellie, bullshit. And the PARALLELS TO FUCKING GIBBS. THIS IS WHAT YOU DID GIBBS, THIS IS YOU. LOOK WHERE YOU FUCKING PUSHED ELEANOR BISHOP TO STOOP TO. McGee begging her to regret it and Ellie pulls a Gibbs and is like NOPE. WONDER WHERE THE FUCK SHE LEARNED THAT FROM HUH. Gibbs you are singlehandedly responsible for this shit and how Ellie broke Nick’s heart and whatever happens to her on this stupid mission. I’m glad your dumb boat blew up, you deserve it.

“I don’t want protection” because I can’t have you all following me.

“It kills me that I lied to the people I was closest to” not about what you think I’m lying about but what I’ve been hiding. It kills me that I can’t tell you the real reason for this. It kills me.

“It wasn’t years ago for us” McGee rip my heart out please it will hurt less. And Ellie just playing into all of it. Knowing that she needs him and everyone else to hate her and not trust her. Her entire livelihood and backstory rely on them hating her and not following her, believing she’s the enemy and she’s hid these kinds of secrets for so long. Believing she’s a criminal and it was all a farce. She has to play into it. She has to. It’s the only way she will survive, they’ll survive. Odette likely fed her this shit, cut all ties, make sure no one follows, make sure no one is attached, burn all bridges.

Ah and we’re back to pissed Nick. Nick who doesn’t like to be left in the dark ever, let alone when it deals with Bishop. Getting his edgy self being rude to Kasie but Kasie doesn’t even bat an eyelash. She knows Nick is hurting and she reaches out to him, she doesn’t take his tone to heart because she knows. Nick saying he wouldn’t know how she’s doing is just like a knife to the heart. He wants to know, desperately. He once thought he was the person she would go to in times like these but now all he’s getting is radio silence, a cold shoulder, and screened phone calls. He’s in visceral pain from the thought of her going through this alone, pain from everything he once thought true and good being destroyed in a day’s time. And Kasie is shocked that Nick hasn’t spoken to her. If that doesn’t tell you she knows that they are a thing and the gravity of all this, I don’t know what will. Nick should have spoken to her, clearly he wants to, in every other situation he would have already. But Kasie (and Jessica) just realized Ellie is shutting Nick out and that is Not Good.

Back to Gibbs. Fucking asshole he is. McGee comes to you desperate to help his sister, Gibbs’ “daughter” and he goes “I think she’s at a crossroads” ???? Acting like he didn’t fucking encourage her at this so-called crossroads???? Like ???? The fuck???? Her crossroads was painfully obvious when she came to talk to you and YOU basically treated her like you couldn’t care less about her. That you had no clue what she was dealing with in her life and said as much. So yeah, she WAS at a fucking crossroads until you SHOVED her into oncoming traffic and said have a nice fucking life. AND THEN. McGee wants to help her and Gibbs tells him he can’t??? “Not this time” bitch this is YOUR FAULT. YOU COULD HAVE HELPED HER. COULD HAVE TALKED TO HER AT LEAST SOMEWHAT AND YOU DIDN’T. YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T REALIZE SHE WAS SPIRALING AND THAT YOU DIDN’T REGRET LEAVING YOUR SO-CALLED FOUND FAMILY IN THE DUST AND GUESS WHAT. SHE WENT AND PARROTED YOUR WORDS RIGHT BACK AT MCGEE SO FUCK YOU GIBBS.

Ooooh Nick looks lethal, love that look, hate why he has that look though. Lol Nick getting ready to go murder the dude in interrogation because he set up Ellie and he’s just ignoring the fact that she claims she committed treason because he already knows there is literally no way on earth that she did it. And Vance realizing that Nick needs to stand down like fiiiiiiinally someone realized it. Obviously he isn’t gonna listen and poor Nick, this boy has it bad and he’s truly just SO WORRIED for what Ellie is about to do. Because right there, the confirmation that the file was a plant, that was the final puzzle piece falling into its perfect place. Every single thing he questioned, every little moment he’d replayed in his head, it all made sense. And he was so very pissed she hadn’t come to him- and honestly I think part of him is trying to ignore the WHY that’s behind that because he truly wouldn’t be able to think straight if he went there. I think that would be his end, going into the why she didn’t trust him, why she lied, why it hurts him so much. It would be the end, and yet…we’re just beginning here. And of course he knows exactly who is manipulating Ellie, he hadn’t trusted that scum from the start. So of course he goes straight to Odette’s cabin and lays in wait, probably pouring over all the documents and things Ellie did or didn’t leave behind there.

Ellie pulling up in the truck and that heavy sigh? Yeah, she’s still not convinced this is a good idea. She’s running on emotions but that logical part of her (and deep down, her heart, knowing what she’s about to do- who she’s about to cut out of her life) is whispering of how very bad an idea this is. She still has to gather her willpower to get out of that car but when it’s Gibbs calling her? The same Gibbs that basically just kicked her out the door without so much as a wave goodbye? Yeah, the emotion just came rushing back, pushing the logic aside. She claims she can’t tell Nick because no shit if she has to look him in the face and lie and still say goodbye, it’ll kill her. She’s honestly not sure if she can go through with it.

OH we back to a Gibbs hate novel, hold on. “I’M REALLY PROUD OF YOU BISHOP” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’M REALLY PROUD YOU’RE THROWING EVERYTHING YOU EVER WORKED FOR AWAY, PUSHING THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE, SACRIFICING YOUR ONE SHOT OF LOVE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE DESERVE THE MOST. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. Oh fuck OFF Gibbs. “Following your gut” oh shut UP. I just don’t understand this part. I don’t understand it, and I’m trying so hard for it to make sense, for it to be in character. Like does Gibbs have any clue?? I’m sure he recognizes the signs, I’m sure he has an inkling at this point. So how would he be proud? How the FUCK would he say he’s learned some stuff from her. Does he mistakenly trust Odette because of what she did for Ziva? Is he just so self-absorbed he doesn’t completely comprehend what Ellie is doing leaving Nick behind??? And Rule 91 is a load of shit. “When you decide to walk away, don’t look back” how FUCKING STUPID. Like Gibbs of all people, you should understand that is a SHIT rule. You’ve lost the people you loved dearly and you think she should just never look back? Like are you saying this so that Ellie has a clear head for the undercover op? Are you hoping she doesn’t get herself killed by being wrapped up in what she left behind??? What the actual fuck. Stupid ass rule honestly. It’s what you live by Gibbs and look how well that turned out for you. Look at the family you ditched. Nice fucking job.

“It’s done” and “what are you talking about I did everything you asked” ok she’s 100% being manipulated and almost blackmailed somehow. There’s no other explanation. Eleanor Raye Bishop wouldn’t do this shit. Not willingly, not if she knew how much Nick loved her and how much she loved him (which if her words in just a minute are any indication, yeah she had a fucking clue). Odette calling Nick a loose end just SCREAMS how she purposefully fucking chose the moment Ellie and Nick started to get close to decide it was time for Ellie to go undercover. I just KNOW it. She’s a manipulative bitch and there is no limit to the rock bottom she will stoop to.

Ellie knows who she’s talking about and the just look of fuck I have to actually tell him to his face. The doubt and grief and guilt and all of it, flashing across her face as she realizes she has to do this. She has to face this, she has to lie. She has to break his trust (not that she hasn’t already) something SHE made so painstakingly clear she needed from Nick. Nick is rightfully *pissed* I mean who can blame him. Ellie with her, “I have nothing to be sorry for.” I know Ellie is just doing her best to burn bridges, the hesitation and avoidance leading up to this lends itself to no other interpretation. She is going to say anything and everything to make sure Nick does not follow her. Make sure he stays as far away as possible from her. She can’t bear the thought of him getting hurt in some way from all this. Even though he may not get physically hurt, I don’t think she realizes the heart break is going to be worse. The painful part is Nick understands, he understands why she wants to do undercover. He had seen that glimmer in her eye when they were Charlie and Luis, he gets it, he’s been there. And he wishes so desperately he could impress every lesson he’s learned on her right then and there but at the same time he knows it won’t change a thing. He just wishes in vain that their love would change her mind, even if logic wouldn’t, their love surely could. I think Ellie starts to realize just how much Nick can see through her and that’s why she owns up to the fact that Odette planted the files, and also why I believe the leak was all an elaborate hack that Ellie didn’t know about.

Then we get to the even more painful part of Nick giving us a glimpse of his raw heart. The why now with a voice crack and Ellie’s hedge at now wasn’t her choice with her own voice cracking, just is so so so telling. She could lie, she could really work at burning this relationship in a blaze of glory but she doesn’t, she owns up to the fact that she didn’t purposefully choose now (aka right when they were starting to figure things out between them), she’s not pulling the strings. Nick coming back with so you had a choice is like the little 5 year old boy whose dad is walking out on him again and it just HURTS. And at the same time Ellie is also the young, insecure agent right now who just wants to prove herself. She wants to be viewed as “ready” and the man whose opinion she bases way too much of her self-worth in didn’t say he was proud of her until she was upending her career to go on some deep cover op where she ditches everyone important in her life.

“How long?” “Too long.” Yeah ok FUCK ME. They both know exactly what they’re talking about without even saying the actual words. Ellie’s voice cracks once again because of the emotion in Nick’s voice and what he’s implying. It pains her to leave him and what they’re becoming behind. It viscerally hurts her, you can see it on her face. She doesn’t want it to be too long, but she knows it will be. She can’t fathom that he’d stay or wait for her, she doesn’t think she even deserves that.

Tbh it’s so hard to put this all into words. To fully convey to you how angry and hurt I am over this shit. Ellie’s being manipulated and hurt that she has to burn this bridge and push Nick as far away from her as possible. She thinks its her only out and what should be expected of her based off her conversation with Gibbs because then she parrots his exact words back at Nick when he begs, literally begs her to say something after she was willing to leave without saying goodbye (which we know is because she didn’t think she was going to be able to look Nick in the eye and still go through with it all), “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” like fuck you Gibbs for planting that in her head. There’s PLENTY left to be said. Clearly Nick was not pleased you blew him off Ellie, he wants you to say anything that would make this make sense (we all are tbh) and she says you know my *favorite* line, “I didn’t mean for us to happen.” Nick is all of us with his “something else” because WHAT THE FUCK. This is how I know Ellie was going full throttle with her strategy of pushing Nick away. This was the one thing she could say that would hit hardest for Nick. The man who is insecure about anyone truly loving him and him being a person deserving of a love that “stays” and for Ellie to say she didn’t mean to fall in love and even though they did she’s still going to leave because it was never in the plan, just damn, stab him in the back and twist that knife Ellie. And just like her body language this WHOLE TIME 💀💀💀 she’s just shaking her head because she doesn’t even believe her own words, she doesn’t want to confront this, she doesn’t want to end this. There’s tears in her eyes because everything she’s saying is a lie and it hurts it hurts so damn much but she has to. She’s been manipulated into believing she has to do this, has to say these things. And his body language too, I mean he is tight. He is standing so rigid, hands clasped behind his back because he’s trying to convey openness and vulnerability and it’s so much growth for Nick, so much growth and Ellie is still ripping his heart out and stomping on it. And when she chokes out that goodbye you can hear and feel how final she believes it to be. She doesn’t think he’ll stick around or even want to. In this vein I think she underestimates his love for her here. And if the show goes a different way with it, they’re little bitches. It is in character for Nick to do everything in his power and outside of the rules to find & save Ellie. I will riot if I don’t see unhinged Nick some point early in s19 (I say like I’m going to watch religiously), because that is the only logical reaction to her leaving like this.

The kiss. It’s a beautiful fucking kiss and it’s ruined by context. It’s an emotional kiss, Ellie throws her body behind it, gripping his face with both hands because she doesn’t want to let him go (even though she’s going to), she clutches to this memory like she clutches to his face. Nick’s clenched expression because he doesn’t want to open his heart up to more heartbreak but when he leans into the kiss and gives the kiss back you know he’s a goner. And maybe a part of him doesn’t care because this may be his last memory of her for a long time and he’s going to burn it into his memory too. It’s why he keeps his eyes shut after she’s left for so long, he doesn’t want to open them and the reality of her retreating back be the last thing he sees of Ellie. He wants the kiss to be the last thing, he doesn’t want to face his reality. His hands had even come out from behind his back, reaching out to her subconsciously willing her not to leave. Meanwhile, Ellie opens her eyes for that last kiss on the cheek to get one last long look at Nick, one last look that will hold her over for who knows how long. A look at his vulnerable face, a face she loves. A look that she hopes will keep her warm at night even though she knows she’ll never get it this close to her again because there’s no way in hell that Nick would entertain the thought of them together again after what she’s done. She doesn’t look back because she can’t. She can’t see Nick’s wounded face just standing there, broken or she won’t go. And Nick tries to stand resolute, the anger and pain flashing across his face before he grits his teeth together and *hopefully* resolves to find Odette and kill her I mean save Ellie I mean kill Odette 🙊

Anyways, there’s only a very specific way this entire finale makes sense. And I know Emily’s pregnancy threw it for a loop, but they can still SOMEWHAT fix this. Do I think they will? Hell fucking no. I have zero expectations, in fact negative expectations. I have a feeling what we were supposed to see is Nick going on an absolute swan rampage to find Ellie and clear her name throughout the first couple episodes of s19 and with Emily leaving the show, I’m not sure how they’ll twist this. I can see why they thought this was a fun cliffhanger because it would eventually be resolved and I do believe they would’ve eventually gotten ellick together after Nick found her. But unless Emily comes back at the end of the show, that won’t happen, at least not on screen. And with that I just 🥲 I’m still mad, I’m still broken inside but yeah. I’m a masochist before anything else apparently and so I made myself rewatch and write this out. A bittersweet pissed off adieu to the WWR. maybe one day i’ll find another ship & show that gets this level of meta out of me, but it’s been real ellick, it’s been really real ❤️

#ncis #ellick #wwr #anti gibbs #seriously do not read if you like gibbs #this is your warning and if you send me hate anon for my take after i warned you you're asking for it #6k of 3 months of emotions right here on the day of the premiere #truly bittersweet to say goodbye to the wwr in such a shitty way #if there's even people still reading/following along #thank you ❤️

33 notes · View notes

soul-write · 4 years

Text

The Royal Flush Challenge - Week 3/Queen: AUs 3/7

I was born for this week's theme. Too bad I'm exhausted with school. Yet, I'll conquer the exhaustion and ramble!

I have many AUs for all my wips and here are some of my all time favourite Two Dorks in Love AUs

Hades & Persephone AU - Cian is Hades and Kay is Persephone. Cian stole Kay because xe were lonely and wanted company. Kay understands this and eats the pomegranate so he could spend more time with xem. It all starts as a friendship that blossoms over the decades in a romance.

Mr. Loverman AU - Kay dies in a car accident. Cian is devastated. The whole squad is devastated. Lots of angst. Because they have each other, the squad manages to move on from his death, but they never forget him. They decide to live the life their friend wasn't able to live.

BNHA AU - Kay is a 2nd year general studies student at UA that is moved to the hero course after his performance at the sport festival. In his new class, he immediately befriends the loner(tm) Cian. In this AU Johanna is a 3rd year student in the hero course, GD is in the support class in the same year as Kay and Cian and Robert and Cassidy are in the support class in the same year as Johanna. I haven’t decided their quirks yet but i’ll have a lot of fun doing it.

Angel/Demon AU - Cian and Kay are angels and childhood friends. One day they lost contact when Kay falls from Heaven. The reason? Friendly interactions with Johanna, a demon. Kay becomes a demon determined to find back his friend. Will he succeed without putting his and Cian's lives in danger?

Pen Pals AU - Cian and Kay are become pen pals after Johanna and Cassidy insist they both need new friends. They correspond for years and accidentally meet when they find out they go to the same overseas university.

Highschool AU - um.. that's pretty much the same only they are all in highschool. Cassidy is the top student that sets stuff on fire. Robbie sleeps in classes and teachers hate him. GD comes every month with a new hair colour. Kay is in the cheerleading team. Cian is the president of the foreign cultures club. Shenanigans insure for sure.

Mafia AU - Cassidy is the leader of a powerful mafia. Robbie is her right hand. Kay is the assassin. Cian is the hacker. Johanna and GD are both spies that were supposed to work for the government but they don't and instead work for Cassidy.

'Two Dorks in Love' tag list: @stories-by-rie - @spellboundinks - @moonstruck-midnight - @remi-writes-sometimes - @piyawrites @writingwithhotchocolate - @cilly-the-writer (tell me if you want to be added/removed from it)

#the royal flush challenge #week 3/ queen #aus #alternative universe #two dorks in love #mr loverman and soulmate song are song references #writers #writeblr #writers on tumblr #xe/xem pronouns for Cian

16 notes · View notes

khiphop-discussions · 4 years

Note

What do you think about GDRAGON and do you think that he will ever comeback as strong as his last solo performance?

I wonder how it would be if he had the freedom to collab/work with khh artists like Simon D, Nafla, Paloalto, Jay Park (almost happened ) and different producers.

As he is getting older I find him perfect to be not under a label anymore but his own with the rest of his member tbh.

Just curious about what you think of him now compared with then...

Kwon Jiyong was a HARD act to follow. I’ll admit. But honestly, G Dragon is such a musical genius that I don’t doubt him at all. he always come back bigger and better or ,at the very least, equal but still different instead of repeating the same thing.

He does lowkey have the freedom to collab with whoever he wants. He just seems really picky. He doesn’t give away songs that much or work with outsiders much. I think it’s a YG thing. But GD has collabed with non-YG people before like Zion.T before he switched to The Black Label, also Dok2 and more.

I don’t feel like there’s any reason for him to leave YG at this point. I think he’s most comfortable working with Teddy and Choice too. Those 3 are like a dream team. And he’s been working with them since he was literally a kid. Teddy and Choice are actually a pretty big part of why BB and GD sound the way they do. They are co-writers or producers on virtually every BB and GD song (besides the ones that have Kush or someone like that).

#asks #Anonymous

4 notes · View notes

elizabethmarvin · 4 years

Text

finished mid

i feel empty inside

opinions and mild spoilers below

- gonna go for it and say I wasn’t HORRIFIED with it. graphics and game engine definitely sucked, I agree with many other people that if the art and engine were like SEA it might have been one of the better games.

- the lack of puzzles was frustrating and the fact that so many of the puzzle were just...dumb? I guess? (I’m talking about that stupid frequency thing in the cemetery).

- also I couldn’t click on ANYTHING. in previous games, Nancy would interact with anything near her. she’d just shove butter in her pockets for no reason. I missed that silly, confusing behavior so much in MID. so as a video game, it wasn’t bad. but as a Nancy Drew game (which I doubt we’ll ever get a true Nancy Drew game again) it was mega disappointing.

- still loved the plot and characters though. There were also more choices in revealing information and making accusations (once again: knock off Life is Strange) and I enjoyed that.

- also she’s GOING ON VACATION WITH NED? the writers just latched onto this fandom’s obsession with Nancy’s love life and toyed with us. it was cheap and shallow tbh, the drama added nothing to the game and at the end the drama wasn’t even resolved and at least intensified in some way. they just made Ned look unfaithful, him and Nancy need to have a “talk” (never happened), Ned insecure about Frank, and Frank a gd bumbling awkward fool. I’m so mad. they could’ve just left it out, we would've used our imaginations. all we needed was them to say Frank and Nancy were in the same town and Ned wasn’t. we would’ve wrote the accompanying fanfictions ourselves. I might be team “her interactive is not allowed to create a love triangle because they can’t fucking handle it right” from here on out.

I guess I’m angrier about that last point than I realized. anyways.

#mid #mid spoilers #not huge spoilers #i don't even reveal the culprit #just an overall review #and some serious bitching about her interactive attempt at a love triangle subplot #THEY SUCKED AT IT #it wasn't even necessary!!#one of the biggest francy shippers is saying this?#I MUST BE FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT IT THEN #IT #WAS #UNNECESSARY

3 notes · View notes

pespillo · 5 years

Text

no but really i .. i beg of you, if youre a white creator and youre planning to make a whole ass “diverse” project, be it a series, novels, videogame, anything, please hire nonwhite writers ......... and not just One nonwhite writer n expect everythin to go well, like, oh my gd, and if your whole team consists of guys and not one single woman thats the same thing you cant expect a diverse story to work if youre working on the perspective of white people only or white women only even if youre lgbt !!!!!!!!!

10 notes · View notes

ravenvsfox · 6 years

Note

Hey Meghan. Have you seen season 7 of Voltron yet? I'm seeing a lot of mixed reviews. I watched it and was disappointed in some ways (though not surprised), and a little bored at parts (parts of it reminded me of the politics of Order of the Phoenix), and I loved some other parts. Cosmo for MVP this season. But what was your take (if you watched it)?

Okay holy shit!!! I literally just finished it this instant right now and I have many many thoughts if you’ll indulge me

(obviously there will be spoilers below so uhhh....... watch out)

Firstly I want to be clear that like everyone’s critiques of this season?? beyond valid. so absolutely justified.

I’m mostly disheartened to my bones that the writers think they exist in a creative vacuum that’s somehow out of reach of the bury your gays trope, and that they assumed hyping up a two dimensional gay character destined for death would be.... okay

“here’s a dead gay man that we did not mourn for nor care about plEASE clap”

plus I don’t like.. care about allurance and I thought it was boring and unnecessary lol but like it is what it is and I’m not surprised by it

I think their relationship scans the same way that Aang and Katara’s did in atla, you know? like they’re together bc they’re both..... there.... blue and pink, boy likes girl, girl gives in eventually (when OBVIOUSLY zuko would’ve been a better and more interesting match for katara 👀👀)

making allura a blushing schoolgirl who’s like.. forgotten lotor I guess?? weird. making keith seem straight??? curveball. homophobic

All that said though? I love love loved this season I thought it was hopeful and rallying and emotional and connective

Here are some of my favourite things!

- Shiro and Keith’s brotherhood is such a key emotional force and seeing a vulnerable furious rebel find himself a family and a purpose all at once was SO effective

- Keith is a superb leader, like. everything about him is beyond s1 keith’s wildest dreams. He fosters emotional connections and commands respect, he’s a mama’s boy and a deeply awkward friend as well as being the utter coolest and thinking so quickly on his feet that he’s a blur my dude

- the war feels like a war!! there are such interesting stakes, military proficiency with a healthy dollop of alienness and magic, quirky pilot personalities, interpersonal drama, and endurance of human spirit. When it’s the Earth on the chopping block everything seems more frantic and flawed and personal

- I totally get what you mean about kinda boring politics, but it actually felt the most compelling to me of any season’s shop talk, maybe because there were familiar faces on home turf, and we got to see the way the Holts or Iverson or Veronica worked through their fear and hope

- I loved that there was some lost time, I love that people grew up and grew apart, the implications of time flushing out years and lives from the resistance instantaneously

- now like.. the paladins are unquestionably soldiers, saviours, legends, and they’re also kids who will never really know how old they are?? like they’ve suffered all of this loss and blinked in and out of existence, and when they face Earth again, both they and their home are unrecognizable, and everyone is struggling but also more capable than they ever thought possible

- Hunk is the bravest gd kid and he got to actually hear and feel and understand that (Keith is so fatally honest and wildly action-driven that I think it was critical that he was the one to tell Hunk his worth as a soldier). He has incredible ideas and unshakeable heart and he went from relating to Romelle to relating to Keith? like from poking fun at his own fear to understanding that bravery and terror are two sides of the same coin

- Allura wrestling malfunctioning technology to the floor and gifting altean tech and being metal as fuck but also embodying this steady kind of gentleness?? unreal. give her more interesting lines.

- I heart Coran, my alien kiwi dad

- all of them being vulnerable and sleepy and bored and confused, roadtripping and participating in a game show and spiralling out into hallucinations in space. interesting arcs for interesting kiddos

- Pidge is a child in the war of a lifetime and we got to see her vulnerability and brilliance coexisting in the same scenes. When she leapt out to hug her mom with all four limbs and when the Atlas was under attack and she like whimpered ‘dad?’ she was so so young we really weren’t allowed to forget it

- Cosmo (Kosmo??) you’re absolutely right, a true MVP, head and shoulders above the rest of the animal sidekicks, my apologies to mademoiselle kaltenecker. That scene where lance guides keith & pidge through guarded terrain and they teleport around on the back of a wolf? TIGHT as HELL

- everything about lance, everything everything

- the way he always stands up for his friends first, before anyone else, with that determined mouth of his, “don’t you touch her”, the way he thinks mixed heritage and leadership are the future, the singleminded tenderness for and reliance on keith as “team leader” even though it makes him second in command

- his pristine marksmanship, the focus and seriousness and planning, his ease in battle scenarios, slapping down a shield in front of Veronica to free his arms for fighting or swinging out a rifle to cover Keith’s back, the way war looks on him

- and the way it isn’t all of him!! his gnawing worry for his family, the way you can see him shrug off his trauma when he sees them again, how much kids and animals adore him, his willingness to die for his cause or his sister or his people, self sacrificing over and over again without hesitation, looking so sad and grave when no one’s looking

- his strength at Keith’s side, their constant fizzing energy in battle, their trust in each other, turning their bayards in tandem and creating magic together, voting each other out of purgatory

- (calling him the dumb one is patently untrue and pretty shitty in general lol)

- Veronica? exactly perfect. strong and annoyed and fierce. The only person who makes sense to be lance’s sister, so exasperated and kind and willing to die

- Shiro’s gorgeous character design, his blinding strength, (like..... he shouldn’t have to be this strong and he should’ve gotten big gay married and never been hurt again but) his expression when he finds himself at the helm of a sinking ship and the sheer grit that allows him to win anyway

- his victory is (as always) borne from his generosity for the people he loves and always always believes in

- the last episode?? the coalition of survivors, Shiro’s rousing speech, the sweeping music, the way everyone looked at ruin and division and got immediately to work? hurts. exactly the right emotional punch.

- unity, shiro says. unity, the universe echoes.

#my appreciation personally outweighs my critiques but if it doesn't for you that's totally cool #voltron #vld #voltron season 7 #vld spoilers #not books #fairytalesmakeyoustrong #ask

57 notes · View notes

popculturespiritwow · 5 years

Text

THE WICKED + THE DIVINE #27: OB-SESSION

After many months, I’m back! Sorry for the long silence. Life=Crazy=Sorry.

I’m planning over the next couple weeks to post summaries of the rest of Imperial Phase I & II and then hopefully I’ll catch up soon after that. It’s hard to believe there’s only a few more issues left. (Nooooooooooo.)

I’ve actually held off reading the most recent couples issues until I’ve gotten back onto this, so if as we go you’re wondering how it is I don’t already know this or that, that is how. I think the last issue I read had all kinds of crazy reveals about Baal. Speaking of which...

BAALER (I Hate Myself for this Title But There You Are)

The big reveal of issue 27 is that Baal has some kind of magic super secret voodoo he can use to stop the Great Darkness. It builds on last issue, where we learned he’d not only been previously briefed on the GD by Ananke but seen his father murdered by it. It’s also the beginning of another shoe dropping, except we don’t really know what gets squished beneath it for another eight issues and two specials and like a year of reading time so it doesn’t seem like a shoe so much as a hmm, that’s mysterious, I’m sure it’s fine, shall we rave then?

I love the visual structure of this page, the way it uses repetition to express the passage of time and also distance to simultaneously demonstrate our own distance as readers from whatever horrible nightmare things are going on and to minimize those events. (It’s so small; whatever it is, it couldn’t be that bad, could it?)

(Baal, what have you done...)

I also like how Baal’s “reassurance” to Mini repeats his mother’s words from last issue--“It is what it is,” but then adds on in a way that sounds like the sort of ‘steel yourself for nightmares’ mantra learned from everyone’s favorite grandmonster. Even as it gives Baal an adult-sounding stoicism, it also makes him sound like a little boy.

And speaking of Baal’s complicated relationships with children: Had we been told before now that Mini ascended just a month after him? It strikes me as a brilliant move on Ananke’s part. Right from the start she’s set up her replacement self as a little sister for Baal to protect.

Two issues in a row we’ve got Mini as the seeming target of the Great Darkness bug fiesta. Is that because it knows who she really is/will be? Is the GD somehow in league with Ananke, and the attacks on Mini are just another way of keeping everyone thinking of her as Everybody’s Favorite Divine Lil Sis? Or does this, too, have something to do with Baal? Could it be that it’s actually Baal and not Laura that is well and truly cursed?

TOPOGRAPHICAL FLUIDITY

The heart of issue 27 is the five double-page spreads in which the standard left to right, up to down of Western comic storytelling slowly breaks down. On the first splash we’ve got a Laura/Sakhmet story riding the top, then the lower three quarters of each page telling their own stories (though really it’s the continuation of Baal’s story from page one to two). The second spread flips the structural arrangement, but now the left and the runner are continuing a story while on the right page we’re with Laura and Baph and Laura’s sister and ow oh God that hurts to read.

The pages continue to shift and change from there, with one section always following Laura, at least one following Dio/Cass at the rave, and the other one or two checking in on what other characters are up to.

The thing I love about the approach is how it speaks to the disintegration within the group that Laura ordained with her choice of “Anarchy” last issue. We’re not in complete collapse by any means, we can definitely follow the narratives, but the idea that these characters are starting to go in different directions is literally demonstrated in the structure of the page.

And also in the way the pages alter the visual language of Dio’s earlier rave (from issue 8). We’ve got the same 16 block grid structure, but it’s twice as dense; now every block contains an actual story panel, as compared to half for most of 8, with the other half used for the ongoing rave 1-2-3-4 countdowns.

Whereas issue 8′s dance pages had a sort of expansiveness, a sense of the rave as the overriding context that the story panels are just a part of, in 27 we’ve lost all that. In fact the rave is only one small part of what’s going on, even as its grid and color frames remain. (It’s interesting to see the rave visual style used as well for what precedes and follows it; it’s like the energy of the rave is starting to bleed out beyond the confines in which it makes sense.)

It’s also worth noting the rave in issue 8 ends with different members of the Pantheon one after another finishing Dionysius’ sentence, as though all one person. Another great contrast with the never-united narratives of issue 27.

But you know, even seeing how issue 27 offers an intensifying deterioration of the rave joy feel of issue 8, I still easily get lost in the visual dance of its two page spreads. I think it’s those bright frames; they just read to me as “fun”. (Apparently I’d be all good living in a prison camp as long it was decorated with Christmas lights.)

One moment does really snap me out of it, though:

No matter how bad things have gotten, Drunk Child Star Mini feels very unexpected. Plus who is she talking to? The camera team? Herself? Ananke Within?

(Actually, going back to issue 8 I realize we get a similar moment where out of the blue the story cuts to Minerva, talking directly to the camera with that same combination of ‘Don’t mind me.” and “Life sucks.”

So she’s almost certainly talking to their documentary squad.)

Mini drinking is not the worst thing we see in these pages by any means.

Ow. Ow. Oh God, Oh God it hurts.

But somehow that Mini moment (that mini Mini?) (#sorrynotsorry) is the moment I find most off key.

ONE MORE ONE MORE TIME

Hmm. That comparison between the two Mini moments has got me thinking...

You know, give me a second...

*time passes*

So hey, I’m back. I just went back through the rave in issue 8. Here are some of its major beats:

Dio tries to help Laura let go.

Laura becomes a part of everything going on.

Laura talks about her family and sketches them in light.

Cassandra cannot connect.

Sakhmet and Laura look each over and then start dancing together.

Woden watches.

Mini is left out.

The Morrigan warns Laura about getting too into Baphomet.

Everyone unites around Dio’s thought of making people’s lives better, because the end is coming soon.

Each of those beats is returned to issue 27.

Dio tries to help Cassandra let go.

Laura tries to disconnect from everything that’s happened.

Laura thinks about when she got Baphomet to create an illusion of her family.

Cassandra finally connects, saying “You’re full of stars”, which is what Laura said to her at the rave in issue 8. But then she rejects the connection.

Laura, now with Sakhmet, wonders what’s the worst thing she could do to her.

Woden watches. (Jamie uses the very same image.)

Mini is still left out, and now drinking.

Laura gets too into Baphomet, and now Baphomet is locked away with the Morrigan.

Cassandra rejects the connection.

There’s a little more in each rave than that (Woden plotting, Woden calling for a hook up, Baal and Inanna), but you gotta love the way the parallels show those stories having progressed (and not for the better).

(Also, I know Dio is on life support at this point, but man it feels like there should be one more cast rave, doesn’t it? Jonesing for my rule of threes.)

LOCK STEP

In the final pages we shift to two pages of a sort of call and response; on the left side we get David telling us what’s “really going on”, aka in year two the gods lose it, and on the right we cut back to each god in their own version of doing that, and ending on the punch line of Cassandra.

She’s the one god who seems to have her head well and truly on straight, the adult in the room, but here she is just staring silently at what has been her white whale the whole issue, Ananke’s Murderous Mystery Machine.

Gillen’s notes on this moment are familiar, chilling and wonderful:

Comrade Rossignol, my old partner in crime, game developer and co-writer on The Ludocrats, and I have a line we tend to quote to one another. It’s a paraphrase of a quote from Ballard: ‘My advice to anyone in any field is to be faithful to your obsessions. Identify them and be faithful to them, let them guide you like a sleepwalker.’

We quote it as: ‘Stay true to your obsessions and your obsessions will be true to you.’

It’s basically been our respective careers’ magnetic north, but there’s certainly times when I wonder how good it’s proved for us as human beings.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE

You could easily go from Cassandra staring silently up to the spooky final full page spread of her white whale itself. But instead Gillen gives us an extra six panel page first. It seems puzzling; we don’t really need to have David ask “Are you okay?” We already know that Cass isn’t, and that she doesn’t know it.

But for me what makes that page so important is that it gives the other Norns the chance to ask David about their own fate. Imperial Phase I has taken Skuld and Verdandi from silent back-up singers to real emotional partners with Cass, indeed the dominants to her submissive. By presenting us with the question of their fate we’re reminded of the fullness of their humanity; their lives are just as valuable as that of Cass.

Their question also plays very much to Gillen’s comment about the destructive impacts of artistic obsession. These gods don’t just hurt themselves; they put their families, their fans, their friends at risk. What will Skuld and Verdandi do when those dangers come for them, one wonders...?

#wicdiv #kieron gillen #jamie mckelvie #Hoping for a Skuld and Verdandi sitcom spinoff #matt wilson is the god of colors

3 notes · View notes

acsversace-news · 6 years

Link

Finn Wittrock received his second Emmy nomination this year for playing Jeff Trail, victim of serial killer Andrew Cunanan in “The Assassination of Gianni Versace.” Wittrock was previously nominated in this same category of Best Movie/Limited Series Supporting Actor category for his twisted role as Dandy in “American Horror Story: Freak Show” in 2015.

Wittrock recently spoke with Gold Derby contributing writer Charles Brightabout playing Jeff and all of his “contradictions,” what it’s like to work with Ryan Murphy and the funny way he learned about his Emmy nomination. Watch the exclusive web chat above and read the complete interview transcript below.

Gold Derby: Finn Wittrock, you just received an Emmy nomination for your work in “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story.” What was your reaction to that when you read the episode script that you submitted, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”? What was your reaction to that?

Finn Wittrock: I continued to be surprised by the writing of that show. Really though, Tom Rob Smith, who wrote all of the episodes, continued to surprise me in the direction that it went. I knew a little bit about where they were gonna go with it but I didn’t quite expect the entire episode would follow Jeff’s own little arc, sort of mini arc. I really admired the way that he crafted these episodes in terms of having the basic through line of Cunanan and [Gianni] Versace and these offshoots based on sometimes the victims, at the end you follow the father figure, so each character gets their own self-contained episode and then that works its way back into the thing. I was very impressed by that. I was very surprised and happy how much time they took addressing Jeff’s own coming to terms with his identity and his sexuality and how complicated and contradictory it was for him to come out as a gay man and come out against a policy, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” which he disagreed with, but he was a fundamentally very patriotic, very loving of the military kind of upright, responsible young man. All those contradictions. I think often I’m looking for how many contradictions can we fit into one person. That just excites me and so, all those elements were there.

GD: I like that you mentioned how it was structured, because we first saw your character in the previous episode but we only saw you for like two minutes and then you’re bludgeoned to death.

FW: Yeah, my friends called me and they were like, “Man, you were filming that for so many months. That’s it? Just for those two scenes and then you were dead? What were you doing all that time?” I’m like, “Guys, it works backwards. Figure it out.”

GD: What was also brilliant about that was in watching the next episode, the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” episode, it just made everything in that episode all the more tragic, ‘cause in a way, Cunanan was this life preserver for Jeff but it was also his undoing, unfortunately. It just encapsulated the tragedy of it so much.

FW: Yeah, that is what tragedy is, knowing that the ending is gonna be terrible and yet being along for the ride and still hoping illogically that things will turn out differently. You can watch “Romeo and Juliet” as much as you want and if it’s well done… I mean they tell you at the very beginning, “Star-crossed lovers who die at the end.” The prologue says that, and still, if it’s well done production, you’re watching on pins and needles, like hopefully this time they’ll wake up and find each other. So I think that playing with that element of knowing what the end is, knowing it’s gonna end in tragedy, it does something specific to us as an audience, I think. It kind of engages us, hopefully, in a different kind of way.

GD: So in the lead-up to shooting your scenes for this series, did you speak with anyone who had lived through “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” in the military?

FW: I talked to some people who had been in the Navy at that time. We had a really good Navy advisor. It’s a sensitive subject. People don’t open up that easily. But the fodder that I really got was there’s that interview in the episode, my face is in shadow and then talking about the policy. That’s a very, very accurate reenactment of a real interview that I got to see that I had on-hand on my phone all the time to reference continuously throughout the shoot, which is really him trying to be anonymous, having this very, very honest, in-depth conversation with this reporter for the show “48 Hours,” I believe. So that was my biggest go-to in terms of character reference research.

GD: What was also really magnificent about it was the dynamic between you and Darren Criss as Cunanan, especially when it all just comes to a head, I don’t know if it’s the final scene but right towards the end with you just accosting him in your apartment. What was it like to film that? What was that dynamic like between you two?

FW: That was a long day. After that day was done it was like, “Clocked.” I feel like we put in a good day’s work. We played with it a lot. We did a lot of different variations in terms of how heightened and how confrontational it was versus some versions being more wanting to avoid it, wanting to be a little more self-torture, and ultimately the thing that was working was restraining, restraining, restraining and then finding a moment to just explode and go at each other. Yeah, no holds barred, take off the boxing gloves. Like all of working with Darren and Daniel Minahan, who directed the episode, it was a lot of great experimentation. A lot of finding as we went. There wasn’t really a pre-planned way that they wanted it to go. We were exploring new territory, really, finding it.

GD: Did it ever get you that when you realize you’re acting in something, showing how shitty things were for gay people, that was only 20 years ago? Is that a very startling thing to realize?

FW: Yeah, definitely it is, and how recent it was and yet how alien it seems to my own way I live my life. I have so many openly gay friends, but I also know lots of older gay people who really responded to that, people who lived through that period and maybe now are out but at the time weren’t. That really affected people. I had real heart to hearts with some people who saw that later and were like, “That was my life.” But yeah, it is crazy. It’s crazy how far we’ve come and how not far also.

GD: One of the other things that I thought was so interesting about this is that for a lot of the Cunanan story, there’s just a lot of stuff that we just don’t know for sure. A lot of stuff, even in the Maureen Orth book that the series is based on, some of it is kind of just filling in blanks and I was wondering, was that weird to try to portray something of which there’s a lot we don’t know about?

FW: We know where things ended and we know whether things began but a lot of the stuff behind closed doors, no one knows what really happened, ‘cause most of the people who were there are dead now. I think like anything, it’s historical fiction. These events really happened but we have to use artistic liberty to fill in all the blanks and that’s really where the emotional arc comes through. History has given us the exoskeleton, and so it’s your job as an actor and the writer and the creative team to fill in the blanks to bring that to life. It’s like that old saying about never let truth get in the way of a good story.

GD: It’s very true. So this is actually the third time that you’ve worked on a Ryan Murphy project. You were of course on “American Horror Story: Freak Show,” Season 4. Actually, I think it’s the fourth time you’ve worked with Murphy.

FW: Technically it’s the fifth ‘cause I did his movie “The Normal Heart” before that on HBO.

GD: I was counting that. I have “Freak Show,” “Hotel,” “Normal Heart” because oh god, I’ll never forget watching your scene with my roommate. We were a wreck at the end of that. And this one. What was the other one?

FW: Oh, well it’s almost unfair to say ‘cause I’m unrecognizable in my one episode of “Roanoke,” “American Horror Story.” Jether was my name. I died pretty quickly but I was one of the inbred hillbilly monsters and it’s all shot in grainy, like it’s shot on cellphone, so even if you could see my face, you probably couldn’t tell ‘cause I also had this crazy prosthetic stuff. But yeah, technically I was in “Roanoke.”

GD: You’ve worked on so many projects that have been associated with Ryan Murphy. What does he bring to a project that makes him so desirable to work with?

FW: A lot of things. The first thing is you know that you’re gonna work with great people, on-camera, off-camera. He has such an amazing repertory of actors that you’re gonna get to do some really juicy stuff with. That’s already fulfilling. Also, he’s gonna challenge you. You know he’s gonna challenge you in a way that is specific to you. He knows what you’ve done before and he’s gonna find something that sort of goes in the polar opposite direction of that, to stretch your actor muscles. And also there’s the fact that I feel like whatever he does generally is talking about in some way some kind of zeitgeist, some kind of cultural conversation that we’re having. Even “Freak Show” is really about, the freaks are any ostracized group of people. Be that for race or sexual orientation or what have you. Even the stuff that seems totally off the wall and bonkers, somehow there’s always some element of something that you find very current and alive and on the pulse of right now. It just always seems to affect people. That’s why these shows are so freakin’ popular (laughs).

GD: You brought up all these amazing people through the Ryan Murphy projects that you’ve gotten to work with. Is there any one person that you were most excited or most intimated to do scenes with?

FW: I’ve gotten pretty lucky. I had a lot of fun stuff to do with Sarah Paulsonthat first year, both of her heads. And it was like, I really like Bette but Dot was such a bitch (laughs). Oh god, not Dot again! No, she was really astounding in that. I obviously had fun working with Lady Gaga. That was sort of a pinch me, is this real life situation. She was really just such a brave, impressive force and it’s been cool to get into her sphere a little bit. I only had one scene with Jessica Lange but I want more. That was fun. Kathy Bateshas been an amazing person to work with and is also an incredible philanthropist in her own life. I’ve just been lucky.

GD: It’s one of those things where you look back and you’re like, “Wow, I’ve been a part of all of this.”

FW: “This really happened? Is this real life?”

GD: As I said before, you got nominated for your second Emmy this year, this one for “Crime Story.” You were nominated for “Freak Show” four years ago, I believe. What was nomination morning like for you, finding out that you had gotten nominated again?

FW: This was disbelief. Sarah, my wife, read me the list and I was like, “You must be looking at the cast list.” And she’s like, “No, this is the list!” It was truly an out of the blue, random Wednesday morning, like, “Oh, my life has changed now than it was five seconds ago.”

GD: So it wasn’t your agent or anyone calling you? It was your wife who was looking at the nominations and she said, “Hey look at this”?

FW: Yeah. I was making coffee, it was kind of early. It’s 8 a.m. and that happens, it was like, “What are you talking about?” Then suddenly yeah, my phone starts to vibrate for the rest of the day. It’s funny the way they do it, ‘cause they announce some of them live but then they put the rest up online. Television Academy, I love you, obviously, but the website could use a little guiding help. You have to click to a whole lot of things to find out what the nominees are. It really takes a second. They don’t make it easy for you.

GD: This year was weird because usually right after the nominations come out, you can go and find the link of the PDF of the whole 7,000 pages of all the different categories that they have, but this year it took a while. For some reason there was something going on.

FW: (knocks on computer) “Give me my trophy!”

GD: I almost threw a computer out a window but then I remembered that I was at a place of work and then I was like, “Yeah, that’s probably not good.”

FW: You need some young, tech-savvy people to come in.

GD: One other question. What else do you have coming up down the road? We were talking before we started this about some of your theater work. Do you have any theater work that’s coming up on the horizon?

FW: No plays on the new horizon. Last year I spent about seven months in New York. I did two plays back to back. I did “Othello” with Daniel Craig and David Oyelowo, which was amazing, and then I did “The Glass Menagerie” on Broadway with Sally Field. I really got the theater bug well exercised, if that makes sense. No plays that I know of, although I’m always hungry to do a play. There’s a movie called “Judy” which will be out next year, about Judy Garland that I’m in. Renée Zellweger’s playing her and I think it’s gonna be really cool.

GD: Oh, I know a lot of people are gonna be waiting for that one.

FW: I know. For better or for worse, right?

GD: Exactly.

FW: There’s a movie coming out soon called “If Beale Street Could Talk,” which is Barry Jenkins’ next film, which I have a part in, which is beautiful. That’s gonna be really cool. There’s also this movie called “Semper Fi,” this military film that I did. I think that’ll come out sometime soon. So a lot of things in the pipeline. There’s a couple smaller movies, some interesting Indies that I did that are making the festival circuit right now, too. We’ll see if they come to a theater near you, or a screen near you.

GD: We’re definitely hoping. Finn, I can’t thank you enough for this. We wish you all the best on Emmy night. Thanks so much for joining us.

FW: Thank you so much.

#acs versace #finn wittrock #gold derby #interview #article #september 2018

7 notes · View notes

bisorens · 6 years

Text

not to be like. super pedantic or anything bc i do the same thing a lot but like. can we talk about the fact that shiro was killed? like we’ve all been talking abt how shiro died but no one really acknowledges the fact that he was killed in combat. missing in action. like, zarkon killed him.

idk like. ‘dying’ can sound kind of passive. shiro dying is an awful horrible concept but it doesn’t have, like... it doesn’t have context? whereas ‘killed’ is like. violent, and somehow sounds so much worse than just “oh he died.” like, obv i want to see shiro come to terms with the fact that he died and came back but he also needs to deal with the fact that he didn’t die in a freak accident, he was killed. and going back and watching the season 2 finale, you see shiro screaming as zarkon does something to him, and then you see shiro interact with the team and activate the black bayard, and then shiro is just gone. it wasn’t a fast process.

and i just know that the writers are going to completely ignore all of his pain and trauma and suffering like they have for literally seasons 1 through gd 6 bc they don’t care about shiro or his (potentially incredible) arc

#this is kinda a vent post idk #shiro

7 notes · View notes

elfyourmother · 6 years

Text

not that the latest garbage development out of battle for azeroth isn’t unequivocally 1000% Bad and offensive but I feel the same way about it that I do about dragon effect nerds getting mad abt whatever offensive shit bioware is doing now

expecting anything different or better from the same group of ppl who been fuckin up for the better part of a decade is futile

also, the thing that’s your last straw is this? really? not the laundry list of offensive shit that’s been in the lore for the better part of a decade? it wasn’t when they decided the race w middle eastern coding was sneaky and blowing ppl up? it wasn’t when a white lady writer basically created a self insert to police a character’s racial identity, or all of the miscegenation panic or the virulent transmisogyny or the vilification of trauma survivors and ppl w mental illnesses? y’all just hopping off this train now, and not when the writers had ya girl calling for genocide and literally had y’all purging folk from dalaran? ofc not bc half of y’all were cheering it bc Girl Power or smt

the selective outrage in wow fandom never ceases to amaze me

this particular bullshit isn’t even new bullshit, is what kills me. refugees and trauma survivors in this game have been demonized and vilified and blamed for their own suffering in this garbage lore since the forsaken and the draenei weren’t even the only ones to get it in their own gd intro expansion (lol what are blood elves?) but none of you gave a fuck bc half of y’all were furiously trying to justify it out of blue team homerism and frankly still are so honestly 🤷🏾‍♀️

#fandom whites are wild #warcrack #fandom fuckery

14 notes · View notes

crackinwise · 6 years

Text

There’s just. A fix for everything in 13x21. Small changes to make it not even GREAT, just tolerable. Join me, won’t you? Especially if you’re in a creative writing class and plan to replace ‘F’ students currently working.

--Happy dream had no purpose. Happy to have Sam happy? Yeah. Worked thematically into a cohesive story? No. Something ominous or wrong-feeling should have been there.

--No “previously tortured angel having to extract his own grace in private” being turned into a “hurr it’s like he’s masturbating in Dean’s room” joke. Fuck. That. Adults write this show: now fucking act like it. Also, Cas could have left him in his own designated room and only didn’t for the fap joke to work. They could leave in Cas taking Gabe to Dean’s room if they’d have added Dean saying “What? Why MY room?” then Castiel seriously answering “Because that’s where i’d feel the most safe.” Cue a nice, sobering moment between friends and an angel taking care of his family by way of his new family.

--No “tiny” amount of grace being treated like some guy with a low sperm count. Adults. Write. This. Show. Also since WHEN tf has a small amount of angel grace not been enough for a spell? Wasn’t there just a spit of Castiel’s grace needed to make the angels fall? Nowhere in the spell was there a volume amount. Plus this an an archangel’s grace. You’re only making one portal to another universe and Jack had that going all damn day just by being born.

--No shot of a portal going gd limp with a joint shot of Gabe’s angel blade doing the same. ADULTSSSSS. GET PAID. TO WRITE THIS. I’m shocked they didn’t make the portal “short” for a length joke at this point. While we’re here: no “premature” joke should’ve been added. Actually have chars be confused how much power this portal takes as it flickers and closes up like every single closing portal has ever done ever.

--NO INNER THOUGHTS READ ALOUD. When has this ever happened in spn? What goblin made them think it even fit in this episode? Why was it even needed? You have a camera and actors. If you take the voice over dialogue out it changes nothing except maaaaaybe makes the scene less cringey. Yes, Gabe is this exaggerated ladies’ man who’s done porn gags. When’s the last time we saw that Gabe tho? 8yrs ago? Groping like teens in a library was far from the tone of this episode. Save it for comedy eps as a last resort. Very last.

--No silent awkward reaction from the three people walking in on this. Two of whom would be very vocal about their discomfort or at least crack a sardonic joke about not ruining the books. I’d even accept a pissed off “is the mission to rescue our mother not important to you?”

--Lucifer can sure as hell sense an angel, ok? He’d sense the bartender was SOMEthing. Seeing as how angels taste molecules in food and drink, he’d probably tell the beers were different too. I know this is way late to tell spn but, don’t make a big-bad villain stupid and foolish; make him realize but too late. Also i get being shocked to see Gabe but why shocked at his reality tricks? Didn’t Lucifer say he taught Gabe all those tricks in s5? lol I think the writers watched s5.

--I’m sorry, was there no warding or angel handcuffs/chains? They left Rowena alone with ONLY her magic binding Lucifer? Nope. Scrap that bad idea. In fact, Gabe turned out to be kinda useless in Apocalypse World so why not leave him behind too? I know this is way late for this but, no making characters that know better suddenly stupid and foolish.

--No... *sigh* No “haha i fell and my face landed in your crotch” humor. Why even? And between brothers? Yeah, angels aren’t technically related like humans, but Gabe calls Cas “baby bro”! ARE there adults writing this?? I’m concerned about child labor laws.

--^Also the loooong pause and silence there was horrible. People talk in awkward situations. If they had to have this gag, make Gabe--y’know, porn obsessed, far-from-prude Gabe--react like Gabe. Examples: “Nice vessel.” “We need family counseling.” “I’m not usually in this position.” “I’m not having the best day.” Or just have Dean roll his eyes and kick Gabe off Cas.

--^Finally, they’re all fuckin cowards having Dean be the only one not to tumble and land awkwardly/in Cas’s crotch. Cowards. As if Gabriel wasn’t powerful enough to balance himself out of them all.

--Show Gabe and Cas move more than tiny soccerball-size rocks. Did y’all see that shit? Together they could push that whole pile of rocks forwards and out the cave. It was so silly i bark-laughed.

--Have vamps attack and Gabe and Cas HELP FIGHT. Okay, writers? Where were they? An angel who’s supposed to be full power (haha, i know) and an archangel powered enough to bend reality earlier could blow all them vamps away easy. They could at least create a safe circle around the humans. Instead they were off camera doing.... rock clearing? Watching? What?

--lmao They’re telling me only Cas belatedly jogs (JOGS) after Sam and gives up without calling for Gabe or anything. If that was Dean taken, Cas would have had his whole vessel torn apart and been his grace form only to get to him.* CAS FLEW INTO HELL ITSELF AND ALL ITS DEMONS. Vampires are too much? Too much for Gabe? You realize the angels could have at least lit up the room with such blinding light the vamps would have run in pain or died? Gabriel could have made them think they were caged? LUCIFER WITH DRAINED GRACE HANDLES THE VAMPS NO PROBLEM 5MIN LATER! What kind of contrived bullshit is this writing?

*I acknowledge Cas also didn’t want to leave Dean behind in case more vamps came back while he was going for Sam. Still ridiculous.

--Have Cas stick to Dean like glue after this; not walking alone with Gabe far in the back. That’s just ooc and bad team parameter protection to boot.

--Wanna actually make death a scary thing in this show instead of laughably no-stakes? They shouldn’t have shown Lucifer being thrown into the portal yet (i.e. later explain his presence there in a retelling from him played over a flashback we never saw) and should have left Sam dead until next episode. But the showrunners are so spineless, bad at their job, and scared of a Bros Fan revolt they needed Sam back immediately. As it is now, every “drama” moment where the bros could be injured or killed is meaningless.

--Their fave overpowered wonder boy Jack could have been like “oh i’m immune to any danger with my giant head and toothpick neck so i’ll go get Sam’s body.” I’m so salty. Jack is only as useful or useless as they need him to be at any moment. His whole existence is pointless and he has no personality of his own. Don’t do this as writers.

--Hey, i know they’ve written Mary as some uncaring model to pose and give the boys manpain, but maybe let her show emotion that one of her children--the one she didn’t get much time with in the past and present--just died coming to rescue her. Okay? But it’s not like the show wants her to care about her adult kids so why start now. SALTY.

--Fire the entire glob of showrunners and their relatives. DO something. WRITE something. Or cancel the show. The Ultimate Fix.

#spn wank #spn spoilers #spn 13x21 #continuity? what's that?

2 notes · View notes

planttastic · 6 years

Text

Book List 2017!

Goal: 48 Read: 48 New Authors: 13!: Rebekah Crane, Georgia Hunter, David Machado, Dee Lestari, Garson O’Toole, Tahereh Mafi, Soraya Lane, Courtney Elizabeth Mauk, F.C. Lee, Kory Stamper, Marie Lu, Mohsin Hamid, & Krysten Ritter Re-reads: 2: 1984, & The Stupidest Angel

1. The Hidden Oracle (The Trials of Apollo #1) - Rick Riordan, ★★★★

2. Dragon Fly in Amber (Outlander #2) - Diana Gabaldon, ★★★★

3. Seven Up (Stephanie Plum #7) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★

4. Packing For Mars: The Curious Science of Life In The Void) - Mary Roach, ★★★★★

5. Hard Eight (Stephanie Plum #8) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★

6. The Odds of Loving Grover Cleveland - Rebekah Crane, ★★★

7. 1984 - George Orwell, ★★★★

8. To The Nines (Stephanie Plum #9), ★★★

9. At Night We Walk In Circles - Daniel Alarcón, ★★★★

10. Ten Big Ones (Stephanie Plum #10) - Janet Evanovich, ★★

11. We Were the Lucky Ones - Georgia Hunter, ★★★★

12. Eleven on Top (Stephanie Plum #11) - Janet Evanovich, ★★

13. Twelve Sharp (Stephanie Plum #12) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★★

14. Lean Mean Thirteen (Stephanie Plum #13) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★

15. The Shelf Life of Happiness - David Machado, ★★★

16. Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War - Mary Roach, ★★★★

17. Paper Boats - Dee Lestari, ★★★★

18. Hemingway Didn’t Say That: The Truth Behind Familiar Quotations - Garson O’Toole, ★★

19. Shatter Me (Shatter Me #1) - Tahereh Mafi, ★★★★

20. Unravel Me (Shatter me #2) - Tahereh Mafi, ★★★

21. Unite Me (Shatter Me #1.5 & 2.5) - Tahereh Mafi, ★★

22. Ignite Me (Shatter Me #3) - Tahereh Mafi, ★★★

23. American Gods - Neil Gaiman, ★★★

24. Wives of War - Soraya Lane, ★★★

25. The Special Power of Restoring Lost Things - Courtney Elizabeth Mauk, ★★

26. Fearless Fourteen (Stephanie Plum #14) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★

27. Finger Lickin’ Fifteen (Stephanie Plum #15) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★

28. Sizzling Sixteen (Stephanie Plum #16) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★

29. Smoking Seventeen (Stephanie Plum #17) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★

30. The Epic Crush of Genie Lo - F.C. Lee, ★★★★

31. Word By Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries - Kory Stamper, ★★★★

32. Explosive Eighteen (Stephanie Plum #18) - Janet Evanovich, ★★

33. Little Fires Everywhere - Celeste Ng, ★★★★★

34. The Dark Prophecy (The Trials of Apollo #2) - Rick Riordan, ★★★★

35. Notorious Nineteen (Stephanie Plum #19) - Janet Evanovich, ★★

36. Young Jane Young - Gabrielle Zevin, ★★★★

37. Takedown Twenty (Stephanie Plum #20) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★

38. Warcross (Warcross #1) - Marie Lu, ★★★★

39. Sourdough - Robin Sloan, ★★★★

40. La Belle Sauvage (The Book Of Dust #1) - Philip Pullman, ★★★★

41. Voyager (Outlander #3) - Diana Gabaldon, ★★★★

42. Feedback (Newsflesh #4) - Mira Grant, ★★★★

43. Top Secret Twenty-one (Stephanie Plum #21) - Janet Evanovich, ★★

44. Exit West - Mohsin Hamid, ★★★★★

45. Bonfire - Krysten Ritter, ★★★★

46. Artemis - Andy Weir, ★★

47. The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror (Pine Cove #3) - Christopher Moore, ★★★

48. Mrs. Fletcher - Tom Perotta, ★★★

**WARNING** SPOILERS BELOW!

1. The Hidden Oracle (The Trials of Apollo #1) - Rick Riordan, ★★★★ Here's the thing. I know these are middle school books, HOWEVER some of my favorite modern literary characters have come from Riordan's Demigod books and this one contains the return of two of my favorites. I'm glad that he's continuing to write them, though I wish he would up the reading level, as I'm sure a lot of his readers are into YA levels now. An easy start for the new year! Progress: January 1, 2017 – Started Reading January 4, 2017 – Finished Reading

2. Dragon Fly in Amber (Outlander #2) - Diana Gabaldon, ★★★★ I must admit, I enjoyed this one much more than the first (a surprise, considering I wasn't a huge fan of season 2 of the show). It deals a lot more with history and the coming together of the Rising, which was more interesting than I expected. The ending was still incredibly sad and hopeful (as I did expect) and got me right in the heart. Progress: January 5, 2017 – Started Reading January 6, 2017 –page 79. "This book is long af. I was surprised to see a big reveal for a character (if you could call it that, I guess) in the first chapter. Oh the differences between tv writing and novels." January 12, 2017 –page 389. "Dude just pulled a snake out of his pocket like it was no thing. Wtf was happening in France?! Don't keep snakes in your jackets, gents. That is weird af." January 14, 2017 –page 521 "Sudden POV shift to Jaime is odd and unexpected. It seems that it's just in chunks? Makes it feel uneven." January 15, 2017 – Finished Reading

3. Seven Up (Stephanie Plum #7) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★ Stephanie is bad at her job, these are super formulaic and there's a standard love triangle, yet I can't stop reading these. They are the potato chip of bounty hunter novels. Progress: January 16, 2017 – Started Reading January 18, 2017 – Finished Reading

4. Packing For Mars: The Curious Science of Life In The Void - Mary Roach, ★★★★★ Full of science, humor and a lot of information I never thought to ask about space. Mary Roach is my favorite science writer, quite possibly my favorite non-fiction writer. Stiff will probably always be my favorite of her books, but I think this is tied for 2nd with Gulp. Progress: January 19, 2017 – Started Reading January 19, 2017 – Shelved January 20, 2017 – page 133 "It's things like, "buttocks are nature's safety foam" that make me love Mary Roach's books. Give me all the facts in amusing and easily digestable prose!" January 24, 2017 – Finished Reading

5. Hard Eight (Stephanie Plum #8) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★ I figure since this book came out over 13 years ago, spoilers don't count, so I'm not going to put this under a cut, but at least a warning. WARNING. Stephanie is still terrible at her job, goes through cars more often than she buys tanks of gas, but at least she FINALLY BANGED RANGER. Unfortunately we only got a paragraph of explanation, which does not do justice to his apparent sexiness. (For the record, I'm still Team Cupcake.) This one did feel a bit different, as she wasn't money-driven to solve the case. It does lend her a bit more... humanity? Progress: January 25, 2017 – Started Reading January 25, 2017 – page 94 "Gdi Stephanie, if you're going to handcuff a FTA to your car, DON'T LEAVE THE KEYS IN IT. I swear 😒 is the only face I make when reading these." January 26, 2017 – page 128 "AGAIN with the wedging herself into a car. A Honda CR-V is a gd suv. Despite Stephanie being repulsed by her 'stomach roll', unless she has the seat very far up, doubtful considering she is also tall, she would not need to wedge herself into the front seat of an suv. Ughhhhhh. 😒" January 27, 2017 – Finished Reading

6. The Odds of Loving Grover Cleveland - Rebekah Crane, ★★★ I got this as a Kindle First Read and decided to read it as a filler between trips to the library. It proved to be a very quick read, and reminded me of Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, though they aren't really that similar. (I had conflicting feelings about that one, too.) I think it does downplay mental illness, but does a good job of showcasing the power of friendship (less cheesy than it sounds), being there, and how tenuous that can be. Progress: January 28, 2017 – Started Reading January 29, 2017 – Finished Reading

7. 1984 - George Orwell, ★★★★ It's pretty clear why everyone is suddenly re-reading this. It's not going to save us though. Progress: January 29, 2017 – Started Reading January 31, 2017 – page 81 ""The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. His heart sank as he thought of the enormous power arrayed against him..." #alarminglyrelevant" February 4, 2017 – page 199 "I know it's been years since I read this, but did I really just conveniently forget how wordy and dense it was? Oof." February 5, 2017 – Finished Reading

8. To The Nines (Stephanie Plum #9), ★★★ Finally some real character development! Or at least acknowledgement from Stephanie that she has learned things (wearing sensible shoes) and that she feels lackluster in her performance. It was interesting to see her finally evaluate her life outside of who she is as a romantic partner (I know that the romance is a big part of the series, but still). And it was nice to see Vinnie be a little less creepy and explore some different bond types. Progress: February 6, 2017 – Started Reading February 6, 2017 – page 32 "Not really sure how I feel about Stephanie's hatred of a lady she just met, especially considering it seems to tie in with how she looks. Uncomfortable." February 7, 2017 – page 248 "For the second time, Stephanie has mentioned having sensible shoes on in case she has to run. She IS getting better!" February 8, 2017 – Finished Reading

9. At Night We Walk In Circles - Daniel Alarcón, ★★★★ A winding novel with an unexpected ending. I really had no idea what it was going to be about, but I had read Lost City Radio in 07 or 08 for my Writers on Writing class and enjoyed it quite a bit and was excited to see that he had written another novel. Progress: February 8, 2017 – Started Reading February 18, 2017 – Finished Reading

10. Ten Big Ones (Stephanie Plum #10) - Janet Evanovich, ★★ I have a lot of issues with this one. First the good: Ranger and the tiny peek into his life. And the return of Sally Sweet!! The bad: This one feels pretty racist with all of the gang bits. Stephanie seems to suffer no consequences for her terrible actions and she continues to suck at her job. Despite her constant refusal to get a different job, there are times where she's is pretty lackadaisical when it comes to actually doing it. There were A LOT of questionable things that happened, some really awful and terrible things, and at the end everyone is like, "lol, nbd." ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Actions have consequences, unless you're at the end of a Plum novel, I guess. Progress: February 18, 2017 – Started Reading February 22, 2017 – page 181 "So much fat shaming/ guilt happening right now I want to stop reading. This is the part of 'chick lit' that I loathe. Way to reinforce stereotypes. At the same time, if your character is going to eat a dozen donuts a day, she should know that she's going to gain weight and be on the lookout for diabetes because that's is just unhealthy." February 23, 2017 - page 226 "Jfc Stephanie, this is the worst idea, ever. If I didn't know the series was continuing, I'd think this is how the character got killed off." February 24, 2017 – Finished Reading

11. We Were the Lucky Ones - Georgia Hunter, ★★★★ Oh, my heart. This was pretty difficult for me to start, mostly because I didn't want to get too attached to characters that were bound to have a horrific end. However, once it gets going (ie, all the terrible things start happening), it goes pretty quickly. I don't know if if any one novel can encapsulate the spanning horror of the Holocaust, and I appreciate (not sure if that's the right word) that Hunter went for a more focused approach, scattering milestone dates within the story. Progress: February 25, 2017 – Started Reading March 8, 2017 – Finished Reading

12. Eleven on Top (Stephanie Plum #11) - Janet Evanovich, ★★ :Deep, prolonged, exasperated sigh: Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie. I'm so glad you're a fictional character, because I'm pretty sure I'd hate you if you were real. AND YET, I can't stop reading these. I blame Morelli and Ranger. Progress: March 9, 2017 – Started Reading March 11, 2017 – Finished Reading

13. Twelve Sharp (Stephanie Plum #12) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★★ FINALLY. A story I liked! We get a lot of Ranger in this one, a pretty decent story, and none of Stephanie's cars blow up! She's competent and not as silly. I was wrong about the 'turning point' moment! Finally, finally, finally. Progress: March 13, 2017 – Started Reading March 15, 2017 – page 201 "There's usually a point in each of the novels where I think, 'that is how everything is going to go to hell.' This one is leaving her gd panic button at the office and skipping town to get away from "scary stuff" and Ranger, while someone is trying to KILL HER." March 17, 2017 – Finished Reading

14. Lean Mean Thirteen (Stephanie Plum #13) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★ I had issues with some of the motives in this one (especially with Joyce) and I continue to be annoyed that Morelli and Ranger pass Stephanie between them while 'protecting' her. The ending seemed a bit trite, but at least her car died in a normal way. Not entirely sure how I feel about her constantly complaining about her job. But perhaps I'm expecting too much. Progress: March 22, 2017 – Started Reading April 1, 2017 – Finished Reading

15. The Shelf Life of Happiness - David Machado, ★★★ I got this as a Kindle First read, so I wasn't really sure what I was getting into. I liked it well enough. I definitely wanted more of the story, the end felt kind of abrupt. Progress: April 26, 2017 – Started Reading May 7, 2017 – Finished Reading

16. Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War - Mary Roach, ★★★★ Though not my favorite of Roach's books (that will always go to Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers), I found this a lot more interesting than I thought I would because it's about subjects I wouldn't have immediately thought of when thinking, 'war.' A lot of the 'gross' that Roach does so well, (who thinks about diarrhea when fighting a battle?) along with textile science and shark repellent. Progress: May 9, 2017 – Started Reading May 18, 2017 – Finished Reading

17. Paper Boats - Dee Lestari, ★★★★ I ended up loving this book a lot more than I expected it to. It's very sweet. The characters are charming and likeable. It does a very good job of capturing the awkward personal growth that happens during college and how it affects relationships. I thought I could feel a bit of Tiffany Tsao in her translation, at least I found some similarities to her novel. I can certainly see why Lestari is such a popular writer in Indonesia. One of the best Kindle First books I've read. Progress: May 18, 2017 – Started Reading May 23, 2017 – Finished Reading

18. Hemingway Didn’t Say That: The Truth Behind Familiar Quotations - Garson O’Toole, ★★ Oof. I will say that this is very well researched. Clearly a lot of time and effort went into finding the origins of these quotes, and I do appreciate that. However, I am not a fan of how the information is presented. Most of it feels pretentious ("QI feels...") and stiff. To be completely honest, I don't read many nonfiction books for a similar reason, so it's purely opinion. Progress: May 24, 2017 – Started Reading May 24, 2017 – 1.0% "Holy pretentiousness Batman... This might be rough to get through, but I really love quotes..." May 24, 2017 – 2.0% "There's faulty information on the Internet?! YOU DON'T SAY. (It is possible that I'm not the target generation for this intro.)" May 25, 2017 – 11.0% "Maybe I don't like quotes as much as I thought I did." May 28, 2017 – page 59 14.9% "My last year of college, I wrote this play about a blogger loosely based on my life. I had a draft due, so I pulled a few of my own blog posts, pasted them in some strategic places and turned it in. Almost all the feedback I got was about how the blog posts didn't make sense with the rest of the writing, probably because I didn't bother to edit them. That's how I feel about some of these entries" June 12, 2017 – page 241 60.86% "Not that it's important, but I have no idea what POV is being used here. Sometimes it feels like second person, and others third? All readers know that the writer is from QI, so separating them seems awkward. Oh well." June 19, 2017 – Finished Reading

19. Shatter Me (Shatter Me #1) - Tahereh Mafi, ★★★★ I have to say, I was pretty surprised by this novel. The premise is not new (dystopia, boy meets girl, etc, etc), but Mafi has a very distinct and different writing style that I find quite enjoyable. It's different. I imagine a lot of people hate it? There's several instances where people are commenting on Juliette's body that are gross and super off-putting. I'm hoping this is something that diminishes in further novels. SPOILER: The best part was the end though, SURPRISE IT'S JUST A SUPERHERO ORIGIN STORY. All of a sudden we're in this weird X-Men/Inhumans universe and I am so here for it. Looking forward to reading the rest. Progress: June 21, 2017 – Started Reading June 25, 2017 – Finished Reading

20. Unravel Me (Shatter me #2) - Tahereh Mafi, ★★★ Basically everything I expected to happen, did happen. Ughhhhhh. Progress: June 28, 2017 – Started Reading July 1, 2017 – 30.0% "So far, most of this has been angst and trying to make Warner and Juliette seem So Similar. It makes me want to barf." July 2, 2017 – 64.0% "Every time I read YA novels I always think how I would never want to be a teen again. The angst and drama and omg." July 2, 2017 – Finished Reading

21. Unite Me (Shatter Me #1.5 & 2.5) - Tahereh Mafi, ★★ Destroy Me: I do not understand people's love for Warner. I'm going to put this under a spoiler cut, just in case. SPOILER: He's the embodiment of entitled masculinity. He wants Juliette even though: he doesn't really know her, she hates him, he thinks she'll 'save him, and that he deserves her. It's gross. He literally kidnapped her after stalking her. He manipulated her on more than one occasion, bordering on torture, just to see what she was capable of. And now he's reading her diary/book as though he has the right to know those thoughts. His image of Juliette has been stripped of all agency. I don't care that he has qualms about what the Reestablishment is doing. I don't care that he seems to care about the citizens in his sector (also creepy). I don't care that he's possibly losing his grip on reality. I'm pretty sure he's going to turn over to the Omega's side in later installments so that he can get some kind of redemption arc, and then there might be a love triangle (BARF). I hope Juliette stays far away from him. I hope she never forgives him for the kidnapping, the simulation room, or his general desire to own her. Because women don't owe men anything, because we're not objects to be owned. Fracture Me: 75% of it was just a retelling of the end of Unravel Me, so that was unfortunate. I imagine it was a nice bonus to have while waiting for Ignite Me to come out, but I don't know how much it added to the the series. Progress: June 25, 2017 – Started Reading July 3, 2017 – Finished Reading

22. Ignite Me (Shatter Me #3) - Tahereh Mafi, ★★★ So, I really wanted to like this series. I really did. However, I was so disappointed in how it all played out. The characters were totally OOC in this installment. I still hate Warner, I don't care what he does. The end felt anticlimactic, though that might just be a symptom of reading too much dystopian YA novels. Pretty unsure about there being more books, but I think a lot of people will read them. Progress: July 5, 2017 – Started Reading July 5, 2017 - 6.0% "Ughhhhhhh. This is everything I Did Not Want. Warner, your 'elaborate scheme' was not for your father's benefit, it was your way to stalk her, you creepy asshat." July 6, 2017 – 10.0% "She thinks she should lead the resistance? What? Is that why she trained so hard while she was at Omega Point? Oh wait... She didn't. Excuse me while I don't believe our MC." July 8, 2017 – 29.0% "And we descend into every trope of the third YA trilogy book. I was expecting so much more than this." July 8, 2017 – Finished Reading

23. American Gods - Neil Gaiman, ★★★ I had pretty high expectations for this novel, as I'm a Gaiman fan and a lot of people rave about it. However, I found myself a bit disappointed. The imagery was probably the best part, a lot of awesome scenes were set up that would be visually stunning. I enjoyed Shadow as a character, but I expected more to happen. SPOILER: It feels like 500 pages of build up to a war that never happens. I wonder if I'm just expecting too much 'action' because of other books I've been reading. On a completely tactile note, this edition is incredibly pleasant to read. It stays open when lying on a table, and it has nice bendy covers. I bought this years ago from Borders and it's been sitting on a shelf since. Progress: July 16, 2017 – Started Reading July 22, 2017 – Finished Reading

24. Wives of War - Soraya Lane, ★★★ I actually enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Lane does a very interesting job at skirting around some of the extremes of war. There are no overly gory or visceral descriptions of wounds or death and is generally light on descriptive detail in general. People are explained in detail, (nearly everyone is very pretty or very handsome) and an occasional location will also be described. I actually prefer less description, but I could see that others may find it lacking. This novel is very much about emotions, and considering the subject matter, it makes sense. I found myself wanting less telling and more showing in some cases. What I did find very interesting is the gender politics that were in play. WWII is a fascinating time to explore it, what was expected of our three main 'girls,' how they either defied or followed them, and what it meant after the war was over. It gets a little schmaltzy sometimes, but I'm willing to forgive that. SPOILERS: The Thomas situation is very difficult, considering PTSD wasn't 'a thing' yet, but they did acknowledge combat neurosis. But it pained me to see Scarlet battered, and still feel that she couldn't leave, that she was required to stay with him. And for Thomas's life to come to such a tragic end. It was hard to read, but also expected. And they totally say The Thing at the end. Progress: July 24, 2017 – Started Reading July 28, 2017 – Finished Reading

25. The Special Power of Restoring Lost Things - Courtney Elizabeth Mauk, ★★ I'm not really sure what to say beyond that I just didn't like it. It's possible I would have liked it more if I had read it before Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng (they have similar plots, but beyond that, they have little in common). I didn't like any of the characters, though I did feel some empathy towards Drew and Ben. Carol was completely unlikable, though perhaps that was the point? I certainly don't understand her actions. I found myself wishing I knew more about Jennifer, maybe it would justify the reactions of her family more. It is a very quick read, though. Progress: July 31, 2017 – Started Reading August 1, 2017 – Finished Reading

26. Fearless Fourteen (Stephanie Plum #14) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★ I still keep expecting Stephanie (and Lula?) to get better at their jobs. Adding the kid in to this novel was a nice change, glad to see Mooner back too, even though Stephanie is judges them very harshly. I'm mostly reading these to get caught back up on my reading goal. They're easy to read and mostly amusing. Progress: August 2, 2017 – Started Reading August 2, 2017 – page 8 "I was excited to get back to these novels, but less than 10 pages in and Stephanie is hardcore judging a kid for having piercings. COME ON. This was written in 2008. Let's move on from the 'bad people have tattoos and piercings' stereotypes please. He better turn out to be a stellar kid and she feels bad about judging him." August 4, 2017 – Finished Reading

27. Finger Lickin’ Fifteen (Stephanie Plum #15) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★ I mostly didn't care about the story in this one. It feels like Lula is becoming more of a caricature in every book, which makes me kind of sad. Not everything needs to be so over the top. Not everything needs to catch fire. Relatively anticlimactic ending. Progress: August 4, 2017 – Started Reading August 6, 2017 – Finished Reading

28. Sizzling Sixteen (Stephanie Plum #16) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★ I liked this one a bit more than the last few, it was sort of nice to have Vinnie around again (even though he's pretty terrible). I did notice several spelling and editing errors, which was kind of strange. Progress: August 7, 2017 – Started Reading August 9, 2017 – Finished Reading

29. Smoking Seventeen (Stephanie Plum #17) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★ I'm getting too used to reading Plum novels, and I'm figuring them out too early. Enjoyable enough, though there are a few things that are starting to get on me. Glad she finally hooked up with Ranger again. Real tired of the, "I love two men, isn't that just *ca-raaazyyy*" idea. It's not crazy? You can love two people at a time. Dave was creepy af. Progress: August 14, 2017 – Started Reading August 16, 2017 – page 144 "Come on Steph, you can connect the dots better than this..." August 16, 2017 – page 286 "Dots finally connected. Took ya long enough." August 16, 2017 – page 300 "She literally just said 'connect the dots to [character], hahahah. I think I've read too many Plum books in a row." August 16, 2017 – Finished Reading

30. The Epic Crush of Genie Lo - F.C. Lee, ★★★★ YESSSSS SOMETHING DIFFERENT. I really hope we get more Genie Lo books, because I would read many more novels of her kicking demon ass. Progress: August 16, 2017 – Started Reading September 4, 2017 – Finished Reading

31. Word By Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries - Kory Stamper, ★★★★ Even though this took me ages to get through, I really enjoyed it. I've been getting the M-W Word of The Day email for years and was very excited when they announced this book. It definitely helped me realize that the dictionary is not the final say on English, but just a record of how we use it. The bit on dialect is my favorite (and would have gladly read more about it!), followed closely by the discussion of 'nude'. I certainly have a better appreciation of dictionaries and lexicographers. Progress: August 16, 2017 – Started Reading September 21, 2017 – Finished Reading

32. Explosive Eighteen (Stephanie Plum #18) - Janet Evanovich, ★★ While I appreciate the change in narrative structure (slowly presenting information instead of all at once), it's still a Plum novel and feels a little bit out of touch. Poor Lula deserves more than a caricature characterization. I want to know more about Connie. The love triangle is getting old, mostly because Stephanie is stuck in some pretty outdated notions of how her life is supposed to be. It could be said that I'm rather liberal, and I'm looking into too much, but Lula can be more than just a former ho. Stop describing her outfits with such disdain. I just... expect more from a book published in 2011. Progress: September 19, 2017 – Started Reading September 27, 2017 – Shelved

33. Little Fires Everywhere - Celeste Ng, ★★★★★ My. Heart. Ng is a truly gifted storyteller. Though perhaps it feels like a story that has been told before (maybe many stories that have been told before), it's such a nice, solid, slow build. I find myself wondering about the characters, and how their lives played out after the novel ended. Progress: September 1, 2017 – Shelved September 27, 2017 –page 1 "I was the first person in my library to get this and I AM VERY EXCITED" October 3, 2017 – Finished Reading

34. The Dark Prophecy (The Trials of Apollo #2) - Rick Riordan, ★★★★ Though Apollo is super annoying (on purpose, I assume) and there wasn't enough of Nico DiAngelo, my Sweet Baby Death Prince (aka, no appearance and only a single mention), I enjoyed this. I love Leo, and I'm warming up to Calypso. I find Meg very interesting, especially because she doesn't fall into 'girly' stereotypes, SPOILERS also her dealing with the abuse from her stepfather is an important thing for novels to address. However, I'm all about the Waystation. I want an entire series about it, and its inhabitants and the travelers passing through. And as cheesy as it sounds, my favorite part of all of Riordan's series is how he reps families of all types. <3 Progress: October 3, 2017 – Started Reading October 7, 2017 – Finished Reading

35. Notorious Nineteen (Stephanie Plum #19) - Janet Evanovich, ★★ I know that these are meant to be light reading, but that doesn't mean they can't be better. Stereotypes and problematic behavior (and speech, and expectations...) shouldn't be the norm. Progress October 11, 2017 – Started Reading October 12, 2017 – page 72 "I don't know if I'm just noticing it more, or judging more harshly because this book was written in 2012, but there's a lot of things that are problematic af in this. I've stopped counting the moments of casual racism, but some old dude is groping Stephanie and all that happens is she and Ranger switch seats? Hell. No." October 13, 2017 – page 103 "Threatening someone with a fake rape and groping accusation? Wtaf, Evanovich. That is not okay." October 14, 2017 –page 292 "An Arthur Beasley and a Simon Diggery? Someone finally read Harry Potter." October 14, 2017 – Finished Reading

36. Young Jane Young - Gabrielle Zevin, ★★★★ Though lacking the emotional gut-punch of A.J. Fikry, this was still an excellent novel. SPOILERS: I think what I really took away from this was the severe inequity between men and women. Jane's career was destroyed completely, while the Senator went on, with barely a blip. Obviously this is very reflective of our society, which is all too apparent these days, and it's one of those things that gets me in the heart. I know life isn't fair, but damn. Progress: October 14, 2017 – Started Reading October 16, 2017 – Finished Reading

37. Takedown Twenty (Stephanie Plum #20) - Janet Evanovich, ★★★ I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. This one seemed a little bit less problematic at the beginning, and then just went off the rails with the racist stereotypes and constant slut shaming. Ugh. Progress: October 16, 2017 – Started Reading October 18, 2017 – page 122 "Evanovich really has something against fat people. She points out everyone's weight, and just made a show about how a woman who weighs "upward of 200" has wrists that are too big for regular handcuffs. I call BS." October 20, 2017 - page 210 "For the love of all things holy, STOP SLUT-SHAMING LULA." October 20, 2017 – Finished Reading

38. Warcross (Warcross #1) - Marie Lu, ★★★★ Well hello Marie Lu, why haven't I read your novels before?! Warcross is like an amalgamation of Ready Player One and Quidditch with the added bonus of POC characters and a female MC (awww yeaaaahhhh). I expected the end, but it's not going to deter me from reading the rest of the series. Progress: October 20, 2017 – Started Reading October 23, 2017 – Finished Reading

39. Sourdough - Robin Sloan, ★★★★ Confession: I love stuff about San Francisco, and this was no exception. It was a little weird and a little magical, very much like the city herself. Though I guess this technically took place in more than just SF proper. However, the descriptions of Clement St, took me right back there and made me wish I could stop and get some Pad Thai from King of Thai Noodle House #2 and a Genki strawberry and nutella crepe. ::sigh:: Memories. It also made me want to learn how to bake bread. I think what I enjoy most about Sloan's writing is that I'm not quite sure what I'm about to get into, but I'll believe it when I'm there. Progress: October 23, 2017 – Started Reading October 25, 2017 – page 168 "I think I love Beoreg." October 26, 2017 – Finished Reading

40. La Belle Sauvage (The Book Of Dust #1) - Philip Pullman, ★★★★ I am a HUGE fan of the original trilogy, and I was scared/excited to learn that Pullman was going to return to this world with more novels. I was not disappointed. A likable new MC (::cough:: UnlikeLyra ::cough::), adventures, mystery, a little bit of terror, and a few hints about Dust! I likely should have re-read the original trilogy before I read this, but honestly I didn't have the patience. I was the first person in my library to read this copy, and it's a beautiful edition. Progress: October 26, 2017 – Started Reading October 26, 2017 – page 1 "I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS" November 4, 2017 – Finished Reading

41. Voyager (Outlander #3) - Diana Gabaldon, ★★★★ Oh man, what a long read... I found this one much more interesting than the first two, maybe because it was a more complex story. The jumping around of POVs is a bit distracting, as it takes a bit to realize who is talking at the beginning of each bit. But I managed to breeze through this a bit easier than I thought I would, considering how much I struggled through the second one. Bring on more Jamie Fraser, please. Progress: November 5, 2017 – Started Reading November 5, 2017 – page 1 "This book is a long one. o.O Here goes..." November 11, 2017 – page 564 "Was it necessary to give Mr. Willoughby a foot fetish? Really?" November 15, 2017 – Finished Reading

42. Feedback (Newsflesh #4) - Mira Grant, ★★★★ It should be said that I'm a sucker for the Newsflesh series, and would gladly read anything in the canon. I found this to be a very good addition to the original trilogy. I like that it was way more diverse, with a lot of effort put into those differences (pronoun use!!). I wish I had re-read the trilogy before I read it, it's been a while and I found myself forgetting a lot of little things that had happened. I don't know if it diminished it, but a fresher read would have added a lot more to the story. I think what I really appreciated is that it sounded different from the Mason's POV. Ash has a different way of forming her thoughts and sentences, and it showed. What I didn't like so much was the over-explaining (maybe over-defending?) what it meant to be an Irwin, and to some extent a Newsie and Fictional. That might be because I have read the OG trilogy several times and I didn't feel the need to have it explained. Also, not once was Kellis-Amberlee shortened to KA, which seemed odd. This is a world steeped in a disease, and I find it hard to believe that an entire team of bloggers wouldn't shorten it, same with all of the politicians. (I mean, we live in a world with the flu, and does anyone other than doctors call it influenza?) Progress: November 16, 2017 – Started Reading November 22, 2017 – Finished Reading

43. Top Secret Twenty-one (Stephanie Plum #21) - Janet Evanovich, ★★I think I need to stop reading these... Forever disappointed, forever annoyed by the awful stereotypes, fat shaming and repetitive storylines. Progress: November 23, 2017 – Started Reading November 26, 2017 – Finished Reading

44. Exit West - Mohsin Hamid, ★★★★★ A beautifully told story. Some nice, unexpected aspects, sweeping prose that's almost poetic and a very satisfying ending. Ah, lovely. Progress: November 27, 2017 – Started Reading November 29, 2017 – Finished Reading

45. Bonfire - Krysten Ritter, ★★★★ I definitely picked this up because it's Krysten Ritter, who, in my head will always be Gia Goodman first and Jessica Jones second. And oddly enough, this felt like an amalgamation of Veronica Mars and Jessica Jones, especially in the characterization of Abby. I ended up liking it a lot more than I thought I would, though it's not anything amazingly new. There are parts that I was less impressed with, but it was a quick read and I hope she writes more. BIG SPOILER AHEAD: I think the characters could have been fleshed out more, I found myself wanting more from Abby, more of her life in Chicago, why she feels the need to drink herself into oblivion to sleep... A little more in the explanation would have been nice too. It felt to quick and tidy. Not to mention the very obvious 'twist.' IT'S ALWAYS THE GUY YOU CONFESS TO. Ughhhhhhh. Progress: December 4, 2017 – Started Reading December 6, 2017 – Finished Reading

46. Artemis - Andy Weir, ★★ I wanted to like this, I really did, but I found it lacking. The storyline was good and a little different because moon stuff, but I guess I expected a lot more. I can see why a lot of people love this, and why it's ending up on a lot of 2017 best lists, it just won't be on mine. The following cut isn't really for spoilers, but just to be safe: POSSIBLE SPOILERS: I did appreciate that MC could have been a man or woman and the basic plot wouldn't change (ie the whole thing wasn't based on Jazz being a woman), HOWEVER there were a lot of bits that felt unnecessary and overly 'feminized'. I didn't believe some of her language, and some of her mental wanderings seemed really forced (when I'm in a stressful situation, I don't imagine what the dude next to me looks like while working out... "Hey, I'm a girl, it's allowed", etc). Weir has a section in the acknowledgements about the people who helped him capture a female narrator, and I think they failed him a little bit. Why is everyone overly interested in her sex life? Do people just go around commenting on how many sexual partners you have on the moon, because that's just how 'different' society is? That seems weird AF to me. Jazz gets annoyed, but it's rude and invasive. I think some of it was supposed to play on the tension between her and Svoboda, but it just seemed awkward. Progress: December 6, 2017 – Started Reading December 8, 2017 – page 94 "Struggling to enjoy this. It feels like he's trying really hard to talk like a Woman. Which is unnecessary. It also feels like it's building up to a hull breach or fire, due to the repeated warnings of fire, and overstating of the double hull. I hope I'm wrong." December 8, 2017 – page 158 ""I was a helpless, exposed girl with no weapon" SERIOUSLY. You can't write Jazz as a supposed badass, and then pull out that drivel. I expected more." December 8, 2017 – page 178 "That wasn't a good one, it was sexist and gross. Ugh." December 8, 2017 – Finished Reading

47. The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror (Pine Cove #3) - Christopher Moore, ★★★ Not the best of Moore's novels, hardly my favorite, but a fun read for the holidays. It's a little bit wacky and makes me miss CA. Progress: December 23, 2017 – Started Reading December 26, 2017 – Finished Reading

48. Mrs. Fletcher - Tom Perotta, ★★★ I'm not totally sure how I feel about this novel. I've read Perrotta novels since I was in high school, and I don't think this is one of his strongest. However there are a few things that were well done: changes of voice and capturing the 'present day'. I'm getting better at reading new novels, but this one in particular felt very *now*. It might feel dated in the future, or, hopefully, serve and example of what life is right now. Well, maybe pre-45, but I digress. It's full of current cultural and social issues, but I sort of felt like I wanted more. And wasn't a huge fan of the ending. SPOILERS: Thank anything holy that Brendan wasn't a rapist. I thought Perrotta was leaning pretty heavily toward that, and he got dangerously close to assault. Maybe I just wasn't ready to handle it, but it would have made it so much worse. I'm not really sure how we're supposed to view Brendan. Are we supposed to feel bad that he's completely clueless about how to treat women, or are we supposed to dislike him for being totally oblivious? I will say that a lot of the situations made me think about my own assumptions (I would definitely take the Gender and Society class that Eve took), so there's that. Progress: December 26, 2017 – Started Reading December 28, 2017 – Finished Reading

#book list 2017 #book reviews #reading list 2017

1 note · View note