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markwatkinsscans · 2 years

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IMMENSE PEACEBY PETER HITCHENS

In a handsome street in the French Concession in Shanghai I once saw a stallholder kick and stamp a mouse to death. The action was pointless and could only have been done for pleasure. The creature, a mouse of the picturesque sort, clean, with large ears and visible whiskers, had just been passing by. The man put a lot of energy into it, as if he hoped that by doing so he could make the mouse even more dead than it was already. I know from my Bolshevik days that I am capable of cruelty and perhaps that is why I was angrier and more shocked than a gentle person could possibly have been. We do not like other people displaying things we hate in ourselves. I suspect a lot of us try harder to be kind once we have found out that we are capable of unkindness.

In any case, a sentimental view of animals is a deep part of the upbringing of the English middle class, at least in my own time. I think French children are much more matter-of-fact on the subject, perhaps because they are closer to the land. I must confess that I once enjoyed an afternoon spent ratting in the undergrowth with a farmer friend, many years ago, as the terriers massacred about a hundred of those widely unloved rodents in less than five minutes. But rats are rats, and even Beatrix Potter, while she makes her rats quite engaging, does not try to make them loveable. But the idea that animals are in a way our equals is a view I cannot escape. For me, it was Kenneth Grahame’s Wind in The Willows which instilled it above all things, especially the version illustrated by Edward (E.H.) Shepard. There is a world of imagination here. Shepard’s drawings link the book with the works of A.A. Milne, for whom he also brilliantly pictured one of the greatest characters in English literature, the wittily pessimistic donkey Eeyore. I was astonished to find that Shepard, a master of small-scale wit, associated forever in my mind with woodland peace and furry animals, was an artillery officer in the Great War, decorated for his courage in battle.

The setting of The Wind in the Willows, clearly the banks of the Thames near Pangbourne, connects it with Oxford and Alice in Wonderland, likewise filled with animals—from the scurrying White Rabbit to the sensitive Dormouse who cannot abide talk of cats, and the angry pigeon who mistakes Alice for a serpent. And all inevitably bring to mind Beatrix Potter’s astonishing little books. Let me confess here that as a literal-minded four-year old I was reduced to hopeless weeping when I read the words “His eye fell on a pig,” in The Tale of Pigling Bland. I thought the poor man’s eye had actually become loose, tumbled from its socket and landed on a pig, and I had to be calmed down with much soothing.

But when it came to The Wind in the Willows, I had no such problems. I knew nothing, when I first read the book, of Kenneth Grahame’s unsatisfactory life and the long tragedy involving his son (both now lie in one of Oxford’s picturesque graveyards, another connection between that city and the canon of English children’s stories). I think in those days we did not seek to know too much about authors, or to try to analyze them.

Nor did I mind about the way his animals were human at one moment, and inhuman the next. In fact I did not notice the problem until a modern author tried to write a sequel, in which he struggled to decide whether his characters should eat and drink the food of humans or the things which real moles and water rats consume. It is perfectly obvious from the vast Edwardian waterside picnic which Mole and the Water Rat consume (and from Toad’s glorious breakfast the day after he escapes from prison) that their appetites are adult and human, while their characters are at least partly wild. In the same way, they slip from observing Christmas, welcoming the field mice to Mole End to sing plainly Christian carols, to entering into the presence of that terrifying pagan deity, Pan. From the very start I identified with Mr. Badger’s dislike of too much company, and envied him his vast subterranean house in the midst of the Wild Wood where he could avoid invitations to parties and such things, all the year round if necessary. I have no idea if badgers are like this, but I am very sure that some humans are, and I wish more people realized it.

But it is the story and the telling of it which always held my imagination. I loved the little green book with its title stamped in gold on the spine, and wore out its dust jacket after many readings. I enjoyed the immense peace of its world. I loved the canary-yellow cart, and I hated the motor car which drove it into the ditch. I adored the unmatched description of a walk through an English village on a winter evening, evoking a frosty delight I have been lucky enough to experience, but which may now have disappeared. The pursuit of Toad along the country railway line is one of the most brilliantly compact and exciting pursuit and escape scenes I have ever read, starting from the moment the engine driver hears faintly the noise of a following train, far behind, where no train ought to be. It was, for many of my school years, a place of refuge. I put it to one side long ago, always promising myself I would read it again. And the other day I did so, perhaps for the first time in fifty years or more. All the paths were familiar. I knew as I turned each page what was coming next. I remembered Toad’s appalled discovery that he had neither pockets nor money, the significance of the squeaky board in the butler’s pantry at Toad Hall, the terrible conceited songs which Toad sang about his own courage, talent and wit. I recalled the incident of the door-scraper in the snow in the midst of the Wild Wood. I could, I think, answer a lengthy and merciless quiz about the entire story. And I enjoyed it all the more because I could now see with what elegance and lightness Grahame had written his book, and with what kind humor he portrayed Badger’s grand remonstrance about the dreadfulness of motor cars, and Toad’s insincere tears in response. This is a great moment in English story-telling.

And then I turned to the end-papers, adorned with Shepard’s attempt to imagine the small world of the Riverbank, all curving lanes, elm trees, hedges and meadows, boggy soil, unkempt woodland and browsing cattle. I do not think this troubled me much as a child because I knew such places, and the drawing might have been somewhere I had actually experienced. But I stared at it this time, overcome with that breathless drowning sensation which assails me whenever I glimpse the lost and unattainable. For that world, with is profound quiet and deep green shadows, has gone. Well, not gone. It has been actively ravaged and smashed and abolished. The great elm trees died half a century ago, and the gap they left has never been properly filled. The little roads are full of cars, driven by Mr. Toad’s grandchildren, with their unceasing grinding whining engines, their thumping music and their ugly artificial colors. The slow-sliding brown river is full of sewage. Ill-mannered new houses crowd down to the water’s edge where the old rough banks have been tidied into suburban neatness. Toad Hall is a hotel for businessmen, and the squeaky board in the butler’s pantry has been replaced with more durable, more practical flooring—and who could possibly need a secret passage in these safe and contented times? The way back is closed, as it always is. I wonder how many modern children can bear such stuff as Grahame wrote. But for all my days I will never see a badger, a mole, or a water-rat without my heart softening unreasonably, or glimpse a toad without for a moment picturing him at the wheel of a garish Edwardian motor car, intent on speed and danger.

Peter Hitchens is a columnist for the Mail on Sunday. He writes monthly for the website of The Lamp.

https://thelampmagazine.com/2022/10/12/immense-peace/

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prvtbugsbuggins · 3 years

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Caboose and his ungodly amount of sisters.

A post for both my reference and for you all to enjoy.

The idea of Military Alphabet being used as names was inspired by Red Battalion, Blue Regiment by @tinfoil-jones. It's a great fic u guys plz.

More stuff under the cut.

Caboose and his sisters were all taken from a pool of war orphans during the great war. All of them had their homes glassed and barely escaped with their lives. The oldest at the time was little more than a small kid, so many of them don't remember having parents or a life before they were taken into the SPARTAN III program. For all they know, this was all normal to them.

Indiana was the oldest and was the one to remember what parental love was all about, so she was the one who kept an eye on everyone else and did her best to be sure that they had love while growing up. Their training was extremely harsh and she made sure it was as fair as it could be.

Here are the siblings, from oldest to youngest. Once they were old enough to leave the program, all of them chose their own names. Caboose was chosen as the last name, and all of them keep it as a sign of solidarity.

Name: Indiana ‘Indy’ Carnation Caboose

Rank: Lieutenant General

Armor Color: Dark brown and tan

Designation: INDIA

Description: Freckled pale skin with green eyes and red hair that she keeps short. Absolutely stacked. 9Ft tall even. Is missing a leg but has a cool cyborg one to replace it. Defacto ‘leader’ of the Spartan Siblings and tends to call the shots. Is high enough rank to make sure her siblings are treated well no matter where they end up.

Currently: Alive and still in active duty. Works mostly with Holly.

---

Name: Holiday ‘Holly’ Yuletide Caboose

Rank: Major General

Armor Color: Green and Red

Designation: HOTEL

Description: Tan skin with brown eyes and black hair that she keeps long. 8’11’’ tall. Is built more slender but can still break your neck. Is the one who usually keeps track of all the siblings and makes sure they are okay. Organizes the yearly get together.

Currently: Alive and still in active duty. Works mostly with Indiana.

---

Name: Winter Solstice Caboose

Rank: Chief Warrant Officer 5

Armor Color: White and Winter-mint Green

Designation: WHISKEY

Description: Pale skin with blue eyes and white-blonde hair that she keeps short. 7’9’’ tall. Is built more slender and is stupidly flexible, giving her a rep as an escape artist.

Currently: Alive and still in active duty. Works as a battlefield tactician and invents war-games for training purposes.

---

Name: Tango Rio Caboose

Rank: Second Lieutenant

Armor Color: Black and White

Designation: TANGO

Description: Tan skin with brown eyes and blonde hair that was kept short. Was more short and squat but absolutely stacked. 8 ft tall even. Used to bench press actual benches with people on it.

Currently: MIA. Was last seen on Reach.

---

Name: Vicky Ableton Caboose

Rank: First Lieutenant

Armor Color: Teal and Pink

Designation: VICTOR

Description: Pale skin with blue eyes and hair that’s always in a different color done in a ‘fluff hawk’ hairstyle. 8Ft tall even and built more slender. Is faster than the other siblings in terms of speed.

Currently: Alive and retired. Currently works as a DJ and plays for raves while making her own music.

---

Name: Sierra Nevada Caboose

Rank: Second Lieutenant

Armor Color: Tan and Gold

Designation: SIERRA

Description: Rust colored skin with black eyes and black hair kept long. 8’5’’ tall and was more focused on martial arts, so she was rather slender. Could one inch punch people across a room.

Currently: MIA. Was last seen on Reach.

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Name: Charlie Beatrix Caboose

Rank: Sergeant Major

Armor Color: Green and Brown

Designation: CHARLIE

Description: Warm dark skin with brown eyes and black hair kept short. Built more chubby and squat at 8’6’’ tall. Can hug you to death though, so be careful. Used to be able to pick up cars so the wheels could get changed faster.

Currently: Alive and retired. Writes and illustrates children's books based off stories she told Caboose when he was little.

---

Name: Luna Moonbeam Caboose

Rank: Sergeant Major

Armor Color: Black and Blue

Designation: LIMA

Description: Pale skin with pale blue eyes and pale blonde hair kept long. Just pale, lol. 7’11’’ tall and built slender and trim. Is really good at psychology and has a knack for motivating people without them realizing it. Takes active interest in troop morale and writes papers on how to improve it.

Currently: Alive and in active duty. Works as a drill sergeant and her teams perform better because she gives them all lollipops when they do a good job.

---

Name: Juliet Romeo Caboose

Rank: First Lieutenant

Armor Color: Yellow and Green

Designation: JULIET

Description: Freckled pale skin with brown eyes and blonde hair kept long. Built like a muscular country farm-girl at 8’7’’ tall. Can pick up fully grown cattle and move them where they need to go.

Currently: Alive and retired. Works on a farm where she raises various livestock with her wife. Caboose gets to name all the baby animals born on said farm.

---

Name: Fox (Foxy) Trot Caboose

Rank: First Lieutenant

Armor Color: Orange and Black

Designation: FOXTROT

Description: Tan skin with blue eyes and red hair kept short. More wiry and slender than most other sisters and stuck more to stealth tactics than outright assault. 7’10’’ tall.

Currently: MIA. Last seen on Reach.

---

Name: Echo Echo Caboose

Rank: First Lieutenant

Armor Color: Dark Blue and light Blue

Designation: ECHO

Description: Dark skin with brown eyes and black hair kept short. Quite muscular and built at 8’6’’ tall. Usually specialized in hand to hand combat and liked to use knives and other bladed weapons.

Currently: MIA. Last seen scouting uncharted territory.

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Name: Ollie Oxenfree Caboose

Rank: Major

Armor Color: Pink and White

Designation: OSCAR

Description: Pale skin with brown eyes and black hair, kept short. Is more slender and built more for stealth and misdirection type of combat. 8’4’’ tall and can pluck your heart out of your rib-cage if need be.

Currently: Alive and retired. Works as a therapist and specializes in PTSD traumas.

---

Name: November Showers Caboose

Rank: Lieutenant Colonel

Armor Color: Dark Red and Orange

Designation: NOVEMBER

Description: Tan skin with brown eyes and orange hair kept short. Is built like a bruiser at a good 8’10’’ tall and a body to put bodybuilders to shame. Likes to count how many teeth she can knock out of someone’s head with one punch.

Currently: MIA. Was last seen on Reach.

---

Name: Kiki Piña Colada Caboose

Rank: Major

Armor Color: Light Pink and Light Yellow

Designation: KILO

Description: The smallest sister at 7’8’’ tall and slender. Pale skin with blue eyes and pink/blonde hair kept long. Enjoys looking pretty but is scarily good at assassinations. Likes to use her unassuming looks against people. Has beaten up selfish lovers.

Currently: Alive and in active duty. Trains special forces troops.

---

Name: Bravo Blue Caboose

Rank: Lieutenant General

Armor Color: Blue and Black

Designation: BRAVO

Description: Pale skin with blue eyes and brown hair kept short in a buzz cut. Likes piercings and body mods. Has an unbelievable pain tolerance and likes to freak out her recruits using it. 8’10’’ tall and built like a linebacker. Sometimes will stand there and let people attack her and laugh at their attempts to hurt her. Will kill you if you make her siblings cry.

Currently: Alive and in active duty. Works on top secret things that are secret. It’s mostly boring stuff, like paperwork. She hates it.

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Name: Quinn Sable Caboose

Rank: Captain

Armor Color: Grey and Purple

Designation: QUEBEC

Description: Tan skin with green eyes and brown hair kept short. Tends to dye tips of hair purple. Is covered in tattoos. Is very muscular and big at 8’7’’ tall and can pop someone’s head off their body like a grape. Makes a newsletter for all her siblings so they know what’s going on with each other.

Currently: Alive and in active duty. Trains forces in how to work together as a team and not die.

---

Name: Zelda Triforce Caboose

Rank: Captain

Armor Color: Dark green and Light Blue.

Designation: ZULU

Description: Dark skin with brown eyes and long dreads dyed in a wide range of colors. Built to be trim and slender. Could choke you out with her legs. Is 8ft tall even. Probably has ADHD and is very excitable.

Currently: Alive and retired. Currently makes VR video games and programs for a living.

---

Name: Michael Jaybird Caboose

Rank: Major

Armor Color: Blue (the best blue)

Designation: MIKE

Description: It’s Caboose, our boy. 7Ft tall even with brown hair, blue eyes, and is built like a brick house. Gives the softest hugs, though.

Currently: Alive and in a mix of active duty and ‘retired’. Pets dinosaurs and plays ‘games’ with his squad.

---

If possible they all try to meet up together at least once a year and they actively send letters to each other. They will call if close enough, but since everyone is doing something different, it's unlikely that two siblings would be on a planet together at the same time. All of them are extremely protective over each other, especially to Caboose since he is the baby. Despite some being retired, they still have and wear their armor because it's so ingrained in themselves. Eventually many more will decide to retire and pursue other interests once they figure out what they like.

Also all of them have a barcode tattooed on them somewhere. Not for evil purposes, but because it's easier to scan a code that can't be removed and make sure you aren't going to kill your Spartan by accidently giving them a medication they are allergic to.

Feel free to use if you like as well. I will be using this as a reference for my own works, lol.

#rvb #red vs blue #caboose #Michael j caboose #caboose's 17 sisters #spartan!caboose #best siblings #for me and other people #mostly so i don't fuck up when I write #caboose is the literal baby #all of them are eccentric in their own ways #you can't help to be that when you've been raised from toddler stage to be warriors #the yearly get together is a real fun party tho #it goes on for days

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mediaevalmusereads · 3 years

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When A Scot Ties the Knot. By Tessa Dare. New York: Avon Books, 2015.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Castles Ever After #3

Summary: On the cusp of her first London season, Miss Madeline Gracechurch was shyly pretty and talented with a drawing pencil, but hopelessly awkward with gentlemen. She was certain to be a dismal failure on the London marriage mart. So Maddie did what generations of shy, awkward young ladies have done: she invented a sweetheart. A Scottish sweetheart. One who was handsome and honorable and devoted to her, but conveniently never around. Maddie poured her heart into writing the imaginary Captain MacKenzie letter after letter … and by pretending to be devastated when he was (not really) killed in battle, she managed to avoid the pressures of London society entirely. Until years later, when this kilted Highland lover of her imaginings shows up in the flesh. The real Captain Logan MacKenzie arrives on her doorstep—handsome as anything, but not entirely honorable. He’s wounded, jaded, in possession of her letters… and ready to make good on every promise Maddie never expected to keep.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: graphic sexual content, blood, violence

Overview: I came across this book while doing research for a blog post on Scottish fetishization in romance. While writing the post, I encountered YouTuber Jean Bookishthoughts’s video “ An Actual Scot Reads Highlander Romances,” and she gave this novel a fairly positive review. So I decided “why not? I’ve got nothing better to do.” Overall, the premise of this book was really enticing - the idea of a woman writing letters to a fictional sweetheart only to have a flesh-and-blood man show up at her door is quite the setup. I also think Dare does a good job of writing humor and moving the narrative along. But I ultimately couldn’t give this book more than 3 stars for a number of reasons: for one, the main crux of the plot felt like it could have been a bit more robust. Two, I didn’t find Logan to be a very interesting character. And three, some of the random “Highlander” references felt cheesy.

Writing: Dare writes prose that is quick, witty, and humorous. I very much enjoyed the jokes and the banter between our protagonists, and I appreciated that Dare didn’t get bogged down in some of the details of day-to-day life. If I had any criticisms, it would be that I think Dare moves almost too quickly at times. Some of the more emotional moments could have used some room to breathe or some more description of how the characters’ emotions are faring. But it wasn’t so bad that I felt like I was being rushed through the novel. Another way of putting is may be that sometimes Dare told where she could have shown, but the balance of telling vs showing didn’t feel egregiously off.

Plot: This plot mainly follows our heroine, Maddie, and our hero, Logan, as they try to work out an agreement. Maddie, in the attempt to avoid going on the marriage mart, invented a sweetheart at age 16 and wrote letters to a “fictional” Scottish captain in the army for years. Unbeknownst to her, the letters were actually being received by Logan, and when he and his men come home from the war, Logan is determined to marry Maddie in order to get her land in Invernesshire.

Personally, I found this setup to be quite intriguing and whimsical. I liked the embarrassment that arose from Maddie’s letters actually being received and read. I liked that Logan secretly looked forward to the letters from a stranger. I even liked the dilemma of negotiating a marriage of convenience. But I think where this plot fell apart for me was the whole challenge of consummating the marriage. Logan and Maddie agree to marry and live separate lives (it’s early on, so this isn’t really a spoiler), but Logan is adamant about consummating the marriage so that there’s no possibility of an annulment. Maddie, for her part, wants to avoid consummating the marriage because she finds that marriage will threaten her career prospects; as an illustrator, she finds that men will not hire her for work if they think household or parenting duties will interrupt her work schedule. To be completely honest, this challenge was quite good; I thought there was a real opportunity here for Dare to explore the sexist challenges women face in the workplace. Where I thought the challenge was weak was in the whole obsession with consummation. Unless there was such hostility between the Scottish and the English that an Englishwoman’s word would always be taken over a Scotsman’s, I found the question of “did they actually have sex or not” to be quite trivial. From what I know, annulments were notoriously difficult to obtain, so it wouldn’t matter much if Maddie and Logan had consummated the marriage. It seems like Logan could just say they did and an annulment would be near impossible. Nor do I think the law would care much if they only had non-penetrative sex. It seems like the whole plot hinging on whether or not they had “real sex” was a non-issue for me.

Instead, I would have liked to see more conflict in Maddie between balancing her desires for romance and a family with her career aspirations. Once Logan enters the picture, it seems like her career takes a backseat (except for a couple of scenes), and I would have rather seen it be more front and center. Either that or I think Maddie’s story could have mirrored her aunt’s more closely. Maddie’s Aunt Thea was long ago caught up in a scandal that ruined her, but later, Thea reveals that she had enjoyed the freedom. I think having Maddie be independent and struggle with the idea of being “tied down” by marriage could have also been good, and while there’s a little of that, I think it could have been more apparent to the reader.

In terms of small-scale narrative points, I think a lot of the scenes Dare writes are very funny and entertaining. I liked, for instance, the scene where Maddie falls into a bog, or when Maddie shows kindness to Logan’s friend, Grant. The scenes that truly did bother me, however, were some of the more “fluffy” ones that were a bit too cheesy for my tastes. For example, there’s a scene in which Maddie finds Logan reading Pride and Prejudice and he’s wearing spectacles. She makes a big deal about him being a reader and I had to roll my eyes. There’s also a scene towards the end in which Maddie attempts to make haggis, and I hated it because it felt like it was inserted so Dare could check off a “Scottishism” in a list. Tartan? Check. Brogue? Check. Haggis? Check. The scene also erupted in random violence, too, which felt out-of-place and inserted for pointless drama towards the end of the novel.

But I will admit, I did like the scenes that were very self-aware about what Dare was doing. For example, there’s a scene in which Logan is debating about what to do to get Maddie into bed. His friends give him suggestions like “offer your heart to her on a platter” or “throw in a lot of oochs and bonny lasses when you speak” or “dive into the loch and have her go looking for you. Then, when she’s found you, pretend you don’t notice her and have her watch you bathe for a while. Then emerge from the lock all dripping wet.” This self-awareness was a nice stab at romance cliches, though I wish Dare had done a better job herself at avoiding them.

Characters: Maddie, our heroine, is fairly likeable in that she’s bookish, generous, and a bit clumsy at times. I liked that there was a juxtaposition between her confidence and her social anxiety: while she wasn’t afraid to assert herself in some situations, big crowds made her nervous, and I think navigating those two scenarios made for some interesting characterization. The main thing I didn’t like about Maddie was how quickly she seemed to give up her career ambitions for Logan. There’s a point where she has to make a choice between letting Logan go and following her dreams, and she claims that she’s choosing Logan even though the choice is really made for her based on sexist norms of the day. I would have liked to see her wrestle with her ambitions a little more.

Logan, our hero, has some admirable qualities, but in the end, I found him rather uninteresting. He’s your basic roguish Scotsman with a tragic past, and though I liked the loyalty he showed to his men, I ultimately though he was a little too jealous and a little too used to his orders being obeyed. I would have liked to see him be a little less dictatorial so that his romantic appeal would shine through a bit more brightly.

Side characters are charming but, in my opinion, underutilized. I liked all of Logan’s army buddies and appreciated that all of them had disabilities in some way (and those disabilities were important but didn’t define them). I really appreciated Maddie’s relationship with Grant, the soldier whose memory resets every hour or so. She was kind to him and he was sweet to her; I just didn’t think his random violent outburst towards the end was necessary or in-character. Maddie’s Aunt Thea could have also been used more effectively, but I did like that Thea had this quirk of making a lot of cosmetics and remedies that were, ultimately, rubbish. It was charming.

Romance: Logan and Maddie’s romance was... ok. The premise started out really interesting, but over time, I lost some enthusiasm because I felt like I was being told that they had feelings for each other (rather than being shown). Sure, Logan does some things that challenge Maddie’s assumptions and vice versa, but I wanted them to have a stronger basis for a romance than just “they’re hot and I’m horny oh wait they were nice to me and aren’t exactly what I expected.” Part of the reason I wasn’t super enthused might also be the focus on sex and sexual attraction as well as Maddie feeling pity for Logan on account of his past. I prefer romances where the focus is on each person lifting the other up emotionally, and while there was a little of that, I think I would have liked to see it be more of a centerpiece within the plot.

TL;DR: When a Scot Ties the Knot is a funny, light, historical romance, but ultimately doesn’t have a “meaty” enough plot for my personal tastes. Some readers might enjoy the banter and the heroine’s determination, while others might be turned off by the cheesiness and lack of a complex hero.

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semper-legens · 3 years

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184. Watchmen, by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons

Owned?: Yes Page count: Unknown/not numbered My summary: Someone is hunting the Watchmen. Costumed heroes were outlawed years ago, and yet the ex-heroes are being attacked, one by one. War looms on the horizon, and the world seems to just be getting worse. There’s something here, something big on the horizon. But when the dust settles, what world will be born? My rating: 3.5/5 My commentary:

Every few years or so, I have a lingering itch to reread Watchmen. If you’re a comic book person, I’m sure I don’t have to explain the legacy of Watchmen to you. It reshaped comics at the time into the edgy anti-hero focus of the 90s, seeking to deconstruct the superhero comics of the day and provide a more real, politically charged world. The result is...something I used to unequivocally love, but on this reread I’ve found myself less enamoured, and I’m trying to unpick why. I mean, it’s still a masterpiece of a comic! Just wasn’t hitting as much as it did, I suppose.

I think a part of my reaction to Watchmen lies in its deconstructive thesis. I’m not really a comics person - not in terms of superhero comics, anyway. I’ve never read a single issue of any superhero comics to my recollection, and while I’ve seen some movies, I’m way less familiar with the genre. This was written to pick apart the tropes and narratives common to superhero comics of the time, and I know that because I read it somewhere, not because I’m familiar with the genre. As such, a lot of its subtleties, I’m sure, just fly on past me.

And this is a nuanced narrative! For what little plot there is (that’s not a criticism, just an observation about how this book is mostly flashbacks and character work more than straightforward plot happenings) it’s jam packed full of symbolism and meaning, artfully conveyed through both word and illustration. Manhattan’s flashbacks are wonderfully constructed, giving the reader a unique insight on what it would be like to be removed from time as he is. There’s a chapter that’s a palindrome in terms of the scenes it shows, there’s a lot of interesting mirror imagery, plus its use of media to further the plot. A pirate story runs parallel to one part of the story, providing insights into what’s happening. There’s dense mythological/historical symbolism, particularly where Ozymandias is concerned. Sure, some of these mythological nods or imagery aren’t subtle (Rorschach’s mask being black and white with no room for shades of grey springs to mind) but they work well.

Speaking of, Rorschach is far and away the most interesting character. He’s terrible! He’s a bigoted, hateful, disgusting little man, but he’s also arguably the main focus character through most of the comic (he’s certainly the first whose POV we see) and he gets a lot of development as to exactly why he’s like that. He’s also got some nuance - we see him pausing and ultimately leaving alone his former landlady who trashtalks him on the news, because of her kids, who remind him of himself at that age. He’s incredibly compelling and really interesting to read about, even while being literally the worst. His story is a tragedy of a hateful, bitter man being unable to compromise even in the face of the worst of human existence.

Characters I enjoyed far less this time were Manhattan and Veidt. I don’t know what it was - well, okay, I do. I hate the Hollywood Scientist sort of character, detached and rational and unwilling to see any beauty in the world or human existence. Sure, Manhattan’s narrative does work to analyse and contextualise this behaviour, but overall the entire trope just annoys me, and those characters were pretty much just that trope personified, so. Naturally I wasn’t all that interested. I don’t know, give me regular human beings who aren’t mega-geniuses or literally God or whatever any day.

That’s all here - next time, this blog gets a bit spooky. Who wants a ghost story?

#Watchmen #Alan Moore #Dave Gibbons #bookblr #book blogger #3.5

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christinaroseandrews · 3 years

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Left destitute after the Civil War which pitted the capital against the districts, Coriolanus Snow has high hopes for getting ahead in life so that he’ll never have to be hungry again. When his teachers at the Academy announce that 24 students are going to mentor the 24 tributes in the 10th hunger games, Coriolanus Snow thinks this is his ticket to the top. But he’s assigned the female tribute from district 12 and all of his hopes are shattered. District 12 has never won a Hunger Games. It’s the poorest district. But when Lucy Gray Baird is reaped, he gets the shock of his life. Not only is she winsome and lithesome, but she’s also sneaky and intelligent like him. He can’t help but fall under her spell, especially every time she sings. But will his infatuation with Lucy Gray lead to his exaltation or his downfall?

Well if you’re like me, you already know the answer to that last question. We know the ending of the story is to some degree a foregone conclusion. But that doesn’t make this behind the scenes look at the capital and the Hunger Games any less fascinating. This is a long read with many parts. The first part is essentially Coriolanus his backstory how he got to this point and the lead up to the Hunger Games including the early parts of the reaping and everything sort of surrounding how chaotic the early Hunger Games were. The second part is the game itself and everything surrounding it, and the third part takes place in the districts post Hunger Games. Frankly I spent most of this book hating the main character. Snow is a villain protagonist. You weren’t supposed to like him. You aren’t supposed to be rooting for him. He is not a good person.

And I like how the author doesn’t try to hide that.

He is self-serving, selfish, classist, sexist, and racist even. He sees those as coming from the district as lesser than barely even animals. And he’s not the only one. The whole Capitol sees the districts as lesser. The district tributes are held at the zoo. Their medicine is conducted by a veterinarian. It shows just how easily people can dehumanize other people. It’s a very very very clear reflection of what’s going on in today’s society and politics. There is a love story in this book between snow and Lucy Gray. But make no mistake this is not a romance. The Hunger Games trilogy is arguably a romance, this is very much not.

There is no happy ending possible. Not just because Coriolanus is Capitol and Lucy Gray is from the district, but also because Coriolanus does not see Lucy Gray as human. He sees her as an object. A possession. She is very clearly his girl, his tribute, his love. HIS!

Everything is framed around him. He is jealous. He is possessive. He is not a romantic hero. And I would love romance authors from all over to read this story and read the love story and understand that jealousy and possessiveness and objectification are not sexy. Because this story illustrates that so so well. It’s frankly creepy and disturbing. And that’s the bloody point.

I’ve been torn about what to write this. I didn’t enjoy this book as much as I enjoyed the original Hunger Games trilogy. But the book is incredibly well written. It’s full of details and beautiful writing. And frankly it’s got several good messages that you just have to sort of open yourself up to. There was no way that the author could capture the magic of the first trilogy again. And I’m glad she didn’t even try. This is a good prequel that sheds some light on the already sort of obscurity universe of the Hunger Games. It’s got some good messages. It’s got good characters. Even Snow, for all of his awfulness, is a good character. I think this is a story that people need to think about and has some good messages. It’s not perfect. But it’s still one of the better YA books I’ve read.

And for that I give this… Five stars

If this is your jam, you can get it here. But seriously the price is obscene... get it from your library.

If you like these kind of honest reviews, please consider supporting us here!

#book review #ya #young adult #hunger games #suzanne collins #prequel #hunger games prequel #I have thoughts #five stars #Rose and Lark review books

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godsofhumanity · 3 years

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GODHUNTER by AMY SUMIDA | REVIEW

okiee this was recommended to me by @inkleaves ^-^ uhmm so i have a LOT to say about this book. spoilers under cut.

OVERVIEW: “Godhunter” is the epithet given to a young woman named Vervain who uses witchcraft and magic to go around committing deicide in order to save humanity from gods who drain their energy to gain immortality and other godly attributes. However, when Vervain is recruited by the Norse god Thor, she finds herself in an alliance with the people she originally considered her enemies, as they work together to save the world from the maliciousness of the Aztec god, Huitzilopochtli.

RATING: 2/10. i’m giving it a low rating because it doesn’t really have too much to do with mythology, but i did like its general portrayal of most deities even though this book was insanely cringey and dumb.. now, even though under the cut, i’ve kinda bashed the book quite a bit, i still have to admit that i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have fun reading it. i stayed up to 1 AM trying to finish it because i had to find out what the protag’s next stupid decision would be,, all in all, if you like trash/cringe fiction- this is for you.

WARNING: even though this book is a YA novel, I’d say there’s a definite emphasis on the adult part of “young adult”... Certain scenes and themes are inappropriate for minors.

AVAILABLE ON: pdf link here ^-^ ((i think it downloads immediately if you click))

THINGS I LIKED:

the book is cringe.

great diversity in terms of the god cast. i learned about some new deities that i was previously unfamiliar with, so that was cool

Brahma (Hindu deity) wears a Gucci belt as part of his attire ^-^

whatever Estsanatlehi and Tsohanoai (Native American deities) had going on.... they were really cute and wholesome

THOR-HORUS BROTP AGENDA!!!!!!!! everyone who follows me already knows how keen i am about this idea of all the war deities hanging out together (fite club), and this novel served up exactly that. disappointing that Huitzilopochtli wasn’t a part of it, but i am settling for Thor and Horus’ several centuries old friendship.

Horus’ falcon tattoo detail.. i LOVE the idea of the gods having their sacred animals tattooed,, it’s so awesome!!!

Pan... i liked the way he still had his little horns, and he was kinda chaotic and fun.

in general, the descriptions of the gods were so pleasant and so cool.. i really liked the way that pretty much all the gods were beautiful,, this is very much in line with my own idea of how the gods look, and i think it makes sense, because they’re meant to be charismatic, compelling beings- beings that you worship, beings that you praise- why would they be anything but beautiful? and even if they were considered ugly by other gods, that’s only in comparison to other deities.. from a human perspective,, i just can’t see how any mortal could consider a god to be anything less than perfection,, idk

in particular- i really enjoyed the descriptions of Huitzilopochtli in his debut. i know he’s a piece of shit in the novel, but i LOVED the way he was described with his war-frenzy being triggered by blood, and the way, as god of the sun, his body almost glows, and heats up as though you’re looking into the sun itself, and the only way he can cool it down is by bathing in blood... WOWOWOWOW it’s just such a neat and fantastic visual description. his physical appearance really paid tribute to Huitzilopochtli’s original domain and attributes.

i also liked the linking between Huitzilopochtli being the Father of Vampires.. links between Aztec culture and vampirism is a trope that i didn’t originally suspect, but have become exposed to quite a bit as of late,, and i think that it’s quite a clever little plot. i liked that Huitzilopochtli also debunks superstitions about the sun, garlic, crosses, holy water etc.

Huitzilopochtli as the villain. the man makes a BRILLIANT villain- his motives are very clear and also, i thought, justified, albeit unoriginal. his presence is quite terrifying, and the reader does worry for Vervain’s safety whenever she’s with him- which is good! this means that he fills out his role as a villain well. tbh,, i did love Huitzilopochtli from the moment of his debut, but he got knocked out of my books during a certain temple scene and i have some thoughts about that in the next section.

when Vervain wakes up after the temple dream with Huitzilo, and she relaxes because it was just a dream, but then she looks into the mirror and sees bite marks on her neck!!! CHILLS! now THAT was good writing- it was unexpected, and served well to navigate into the next part of the plot.

Odin and Huitzilopochtli holding a ted talk on “how to create panic and discord among the humans”, and the gods having to bring certain meals depending on what the first letter of their names were.

Vervain’s pop-culture references, and her weaponry- especially the gloves that have blades in them that get released when she swings her hand downwards. very cool, i want them.

casual appearances from Vladimir Putin (yes, i said Vladimir Putin)... i couldn’t stop laughing when i read that Huitzilo was trying to kill Putin’s daughter to instigate a war...... asdhshajdhasdjfhjdhf insane

also i know Vervain was trying to mock Huitzilo when she nicknamed him “Blue”,, but like.. that’s a really cute name and it wasn’t even insulting.. yeah, that one backfired on you Vervain... if anything, that just made it seem like she actually had affections for him and i feel like probably in part is the reason why he felt encouraged to pursue her.

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE/THINGS THAT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE AND/OR CONFUSED ME:

the book is cringe.

it reads like a 15 year old’s fantasy AU where she’s a humble young woman, unextraordinary- yet somehow, she is the muse of every man’s desire. handsome, ripped gods who never wear clothes are laying themselves down at her feet,, and she is just overwhelmed by the choices before her; and all the while, she has to balance a complicated love life with her duty to save the world (since she’s the only one who can).

Vervain as a protagonist. idk how old she’s meant to be, but since the book is in first-person, and the reader is exposed to her innermost thoughts,, i’ve gotta say- she’s incredibly immature. as a protagonist, i just feel like she’s rude, pretentious, snobby.. she has no idea what “respect” even means. in every scene, she’s either fighting someone, or lusting after them (when Teharon told her off for having lascivious thoughts about him, and she simply responded with “well stop being so sexy then” i wanted to die.... WHAT is wrong with her)

i hate the way she looks down on the gods- even if you didn’t worship them, or even believed in their existence, surely you wouldn’t have the gall to lecture Hades and Persephone on how to be a good couple (especially when your advice is shit). surely you wouldn’t have the gall to say to Thor what Vervain says to him on pg 227, 4th line from the bottom, that i will not repeat here. Vervain is just too self-absorbed. i don’t hate her, but i definitely think her character is a bit,,, iffy.

relating to Vervain as the protagonist- everything just seems to happen to her.. and i know that she’s the protag, and things are meant to happen to her, but it all happens to her one after the other in succession, no breaks. it’s so easy for her... oh? Huitzilopochtli is going to kill Putin’s daughter? no worries, Vervain can read Huitzilopochtli’s thoughts! oh? the gods have never been able to transform more than half their body into their animal form? no worries, Vervain is so powerful she can force a god to change against their will! oh? Vervain is being attacked by blood-thirsty wolves? no worries, she saved the life of one werewolf and now he’s indebted to her and will literally kill himself in order to protect her! everything is easy, and nothing is a problem.

the way every male deity ever sees Vervain once and immediately wants to take her to bed. why was that a necessary aspect of her character? and also, why are the gods portrayed as such lustful beings?? it really wasn’t necessary.

Horus throwing a fit about how December 25 is his birthday and that it was stolen from him by Jesus... to quote:

“No big deal?” Horus puffed up. “I was called the Lamb of God. I had twelve apostles, and my myths spoke of my crucifixion and consequent resurrection in three days. His stories were my stories first!”

it’s fine that Horus is angry about his birthday which was i think, historically celebrated around this date- but the rest of it isn’t even true???? Horus didn’t have 12 apostles, i’m pretty sure he was also not called “Lamb of God”, and he wasn’t crucified!!! aghhhh even Thor says “It’s been so long that even you don’t remember things accurately.”

anyways.. my beef with this is the way it’s phrased so as to imply that “oh christianity just stole everything from the pagans” when this is so incredibly false and sounds like something an ill-informed person would say. you can read more about christianity, paganism and christmas here

kinda related to the previous point- the jokes about Jesus’ skin colour. i quote:

“... when Christ first became a god, he looked Jewish because those were the people he chose to align himself with. However, the Jews didn’t want him, and when Christianity spread, the white people wanted Jesus to look more like them. With the change in belief, Christ’s appearance changed. ... We used to tease him about how he looked whiter every time we saw him... Kind of like Michael Jackson...”

what the FUCK??????? seems like Sumida doesn’t understand that various ethnic groups illustrate Jesus as appearing as the local people do. Yes, obviously in a Western country, Jesus is going to look European, he’s going to look white. If you go to Japan, you will see Jesus and the rest of the gang looking pretty fucking Japanese. the point of this is NOT to erase Jesus’ Jewish ethnicity, and it is certainly not because of something like “the Jews didn’t want him”- it is because it is a way for followers to better relate to the Divine. including Christ in this story isn’t the problem- i’ve seen others do it very well. the problem is how uneducated her writing comes across.

all the gods have human jobs so that they can earn money and stuff,, which is fine- Thor, for example, owns a line of boats, which makes sense. but Pan? his job is making p*rn. now even though it’s true that everyone associates Pan with sexuality and stuff,,, this isn’t his primary role, and making Pan out to be just a playboy who has his mind in the gutter 24/7 i think is a bit of a mockery. Pan is, first and foremost, a god of the Wild. why Sumida elected to make him a p*rn manufacturer and not a wildlife conservationist is beyond me... i’m not even pagan, and i thought this creative decision was distasteful and stupid, especially because his character is actually quite light-hearted and cool.

the temple scene with Huitzilopochtli and Vervain. as i said previously, i really really liked Huitzilo’s character. he made an excellent villain. but this part?? i understand why it was done, but i HATED that it had to happen... not just because it was horrible for Vervain, but Huitzilo seemed so powerful and godly right up to that point- after which he seemed pretty pathetic- going back after Vervain after she’s rejected him countless times. she is JUST a mortal!!! c’mon Huitzilo, give it up!!! you are degrading yourself at the expense of achieving one mortal’s “love”.. the fact that he had to hypnotise her to get what he wanted AND had to achieve it through her dreams (when’s she can’t protect herself) was sooooo pathetic and disgraceful.. IMO, he committed the worst sin any person could ever commit and i just... AGHHHHHHHHH SMH WHY?!

speaking of morons- Thor. Thor just comes across to me as extremely possessive, and over-protective,, and idk how Vervain was NOT creeped out by the fact that Thor had literally been stalking her for two years before she even met him. wtf? god or not- that’s creepy. actually, i think it’s creepier because he is a god.

Sif. i am still waiting for good media representation of thunder god Thor and his beautiful golden-haired wife Sif- i want them to be HAPPY, and i want them to be in love the way they should be!

Persephone. i like the idea of Persephone being sweet-tempered, and kind- but in this book, she’s such a wimp??????? she totally just lets Vervain be rude to her, a goddess who’s name means “Bringer of Destruction”. also- her relationship with Hades seems toxic.. i mean,, he like tracks her? she starts stuttering when she talks to him, and gets nervous when people so much as mention his name. not to mention the fact that Persephone says that when she does go back to him, all he demands from her is a certain horizontal dance so much so that she is “sore” (<- quoting from the book here) every time she returns??????? WHAT IS HAPPENING?????????? and no one even questions it. Vervain doesn’t even question it! instead she suggests that Persephone MOVES IN with Hades permanently???? and that Hades should just start verbally saying how much he loves Persephone instead of “showing” her how much he “loves” her.....??? there are SO many issues with this.. i can’t even- *screams*

the Aphrodite-is-madly-in-love-with-Huitzilopochtli side plot. it could have been really good, but then it ends so abruptly,,, i mean.. why’d Aphrodite get done so dirty like that? Also summary of Hephaestus’ first and final scenes:

Hephaestus, entering the room: Right, what’s all this then? Vervain: Your wife is cheating on you (again) Hephaestus: Aight, i’m out *leaves and never comes back for the rest of the book*

what the HECK was the ending with Trevor?? i hate Vervain so much i can’t... okay first of all- WHY did Trevor decide to have a wolf-marriage with Vervain?? he kept on going on about how she’s so beautiful, and kind, and caring... NO SHE ISN’T TREVOR!!! i’m so mad that he would pledge himself for all eternity to this girl who doesn’t even like him in that way!!! you played yourself son

also- Thor accepts the fact that Trevor is going to have to be close by to Vervain because the terms of the marriage state that Trevor will literally die without her touch, which is VERY GENEROUS of Thor... but Vervain?? ooooh i HATE her.. she has the audacity to look at Trevor with her lecherous eyes thinking about lustful things IN THOR’S OWN BED!!!!! and then she thinks to herself “oh whoops i shouldn’t be thinking that”- yeah you’re darn right you shouldn’t be thinking that!!!! whatttt is wrong with her.............

also- where tf did Huitzilo go??? he just gave up on trying to instigate a war and vanished?? the plot was so unresolved?????? AGH!

#also- i forgot but- the Brad Pitt looking guy on the front cover.. i thought maybe that was meant to be Ull because he's blonde but i guess #it really was Thor in the end?? but Thor in the novel has red hair so what's up with that? how disappointing #person who reviewed this and said ''Vervain's one of the best female heroines today!''- can i have some of whatever you're smoking?#she's so horrible!!! aghhhhh #review #godhunter by amy sumida #long post

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elenajohansenreads · 3 years

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Books I Read in 2021

#45 - Vanity Fair, by William Makepeace Thackeray

Mount TBR: 43/100

Beat the Backlist Bingo: Chapter title page has art (illustrated by the author, no less)

Rating: 3/5 stars

I haven't had an experience quite like that since I first read Les Miserables in eighth grade. It took me just over a month of steady, dogged reading, and I carried that book with me everywhere--to every class in school, every time I was sitting in the backseat of the car while running errands with my parents, every time I read before bed.

Vanity Fair reminds me a lot of Les Mis, not in tone or subject matter, but in my sheer determination to get through it, even when it's slow going. Because I started this book in February. The wit and charm and lively characters carried me through the first two hundred pages fairly easily, but then I began to lose steam. I took what I thought was a short break to read something else before going on, and when I went back, suddenly it was hard to read more than a chapter or two at a time. I told myself to keep going. After all, I was still enjoying it--it wasn't the same feeling of epic struggle to stay interested that I had with War and Peace last year. I liked this book, yet somehow, I couldn't motivate myself to read it.

Pretty soon it became clear the problem wasn't Vanity Fair itself, or at least, not mostly. I was just in the worst reading slump of my adult life, because nothing I read could hold my attention long. I took almost an entire month off reading, but when the mood struck to try again, I'd either try a new book and set it down after five pages, or nibble at the edges of Vanity Fair. When I declared (to myself) that my reading slump was over, I was just past 400 pages in.

Like magic, once I'd warmed up with a few light reads, the pages began to fly by again. I could finish several chapters in a sitting, and genuinely want to read more.

But this is a book review, right? Not the story of my reading slump. So what was it that was giving me difficulty, specifically, about this work?

The names. Formal name etiquette in British high society is just the pits. Our main character, Rebecca, probably showed up in the text under about a dozen different names or epithets throughout the course of the story, because she's got her first name, her full name, her nickname, her married name both formally as Mrs. Husband's Name and Becky/Rebecca Husband's Name, and of course any given description posing as a person that Thackeray wanted to attach to her. Eventually at the very end she's mostly Mrs. Becky, which I didn't recall being used much before. On top of that, there were other instances when a change of status caused me some confusion, because first we have Pitt Crawley, no title attached, son of Sir Pitt Crawley, but when the elder Crawley dies, of course Pitt becomes Sir Pitt because the title passes on, even though that's also the name of the now-dead character. Any male character in the military might be referred to by his rank rather than his name, and when multiple military figures are in the same paragraph (as they often are) they are all referred to by an inconsistent mix of their names and ranks.

And all of this is happening constantly through the entire nearly-700-pages of the novel. It's exhausting.

When this was published, I have no doubt this was common enough that readers had little issue with it. Now? I often had to stop to parse who was who because of the constant flux of designations.

If I could strip that stylistic inconsistency out, that would fix a lot of my problems with reading this right away. However, there were still others. While the core cast of characters is relatively small compared to some epic classics of this length, Thackeray does like to veer off on tangents frequently and spend a chapter or three detailing the life and situation of a minor character. That's something I remember loving in Les Mis, which, again, is the thing I have read that is most like this book; but here, somehow I was never as fascinated by these little portraits as I was when Hugo did it. Here I was invested in Becky and Amelia and William Dobbin (in fact, the resolution of his story is the primary reason I finished this book at all--I was hanging on for that happy ending.) But I did not find myself particularly interested in Lord Steyne or Mrs. Major O'Dowd or the Gaunt family. The minor characters were not completely without charm to me, as I particularly liked the single-page tale of Becky's little French maid abandoning her. What the girl took, what became of her, how she fared after Becky's tyranny, that was all grand. But it was also short, and seeing as it came immediately after we read of Becky's downfall, it felt timely and appropriate. Many of the other, larger tangents from the main story line left me scratching my head about why I was suddenly learning new names or jumping to a different country. I admit to skimming some of the side bits that seemed less relevant or interesting, in order to get back to the "good" parts.

How do I feel three months later now that I'm finally done? It was a long walk to that happy ending I was 95% sure was coming. I'm pleased to be finished but not particularly eager to try any other Thackeray works, because while I liked many things about his style--the wit and humor, the insertion of himself as narrator into the story (occasionally) as a character, the biting satire--there's also simply too much dead weight to carry in order to get to all of that. I'm glad I read it, but I never need to reread it. It's rare for me to find myself finishing a classic novel without either loving it to pieces (My Antonia, Les Mis, Jane Eyre) or hating it with the fiery passion of a thousand suns (too many to name.) But I found this book simply good--not great, not terrible.

#booklr #vanity fair #classics #book photography #my photos #my reading challenges #mount tbr 2021 #beat the backlist bingo #food

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carriagelamp · 4 years

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September Book Roundup, back-to-school edition aka The Season Of Red apparently?

Here is a selection of the books I’ve read this month. Summer is over, so the little bit of brain power I had managed to scrape together is quickly disintegrating, so enjoying the hodge podge of stories.

Binti

This was probably my favourite book that I read this month. It’s a novella I first heard about hear on tumblr and went to find a copy in my library. I have since bought the collected trilogy so I can read book two and three at my leisure because it was honestly just that friggin cool. This is exactly my flavour of scifi and I tend to be very very picky about the scifi I consume. It’s about a girl named Binti, a member of the Himba people (a real group of indigenous people from Namibia). They are a people well known for their mathematical and technical prowess, but due to their strong connection to their homeland and the earth they choose not to travel through space like so many other humans do. However, when Binti secures a position at Oomza University, the greatest university in the galaxy, she chooses to go against her family’s wishes and traditions in order to set out into space to attend. Everything is ruined though when her spaceship is attacked by a hostile alien race and everyone is killed but Binti, who must rely on all her intellect and abilities if she wants any chance at survival.

A seriously cool book with great world building – it really successfully introduces readers not only to the fictional scifi world and races of the novel but also to the culture and traditions of the Himba people. It’s a quick read, and feels like a cross between Dead Space and Tamora Pierce. Would totally recommend a read.

Fake Blood

A Canadian graphic novel. It was a goofy cute read. It’s about an awkward group of friends in middle school, and one boy with a crush on one of the girls in his class. Knowing her love for vampire stories, AJ decides, like any self-respecting middle schooler, to try to pretend he’s a vampire. Naturally nothing goes right and some things go wrong in unexpected ways. It’s funny and cute. Nothing amazing but it was a cozy evening read.

The Last Book On The Left

I’ve been listening to this podcast a lot since my friend recommended it to me and finally decided to read their book. For those that don’t know, The Last Podcast On The Left is a immaculately researched comedy podcast that’s hosted by Ben Kissel, Marcus Parks, and Henry Zebrowski, and explores the darker realms of human nature. Ghosts, paranormal, aliens, cults, and of course serial killers. In this book they collected several of their biggest name serial killer series, did some renewed research, and put together a book that is both informative, irreverent, gross, and very funny, complete with some really amazing illustrations by Tom Neely. A very cool read (and listen, if you decide to check out the podcast instead), I really love how they tell these stories without idolizing or romanticizing the people they talk about. Their humour always makes sure you know exactly how much of a pathetic loser these people are. Fantastic true crime, from someone who has never really felt the need to read about true crime before.

Midnight Sun

I won’t harp on this one, everyone is already going to firmly have their opinions here. I grew up on Twilight, I was reading them as they came out, and I still love them. Were they dumb? Oh my god yes. Did they have problems? Sure, they came out in 2005 it was part and parcel. Were they also a really fun for a thirteen year old to read? Absolutely, I don’t regret it. Sometimes teenage girls should just to get like things without being mocked.

Anyway, I am off my soapbox now (can you tell this is still a raw spot for me?) I unironically loved this book! Getting to see Edward’s perspective was really cool, and since he can read minds it essentially let you get the perspective of everyone else around him too. The Cullens family is a great set of characters so it was really cool to see more of them, and I was very impressed by how Stephenie Meyers took a YA romance she wrote in 2005 and was able to make it feel updated and more appropriate for a 2020 audience even though she couldn’t actually change any of the events themselves. So fans of Twilight, don’t be ashamed, go read Midnight Sun and have the shameless fun you deserve. Is there anymore appropriate book for the bizarre ass year that was 2020 than a return to this goofy nonsense?

The Paperbag Princess

(and Up, Up, Down, and Robert Munsch in general)

I’m back in schools so I’m back to reading children’s book! And honestly, and of you that don’t occasionally sit down and read a kids book out loud don’t know what you’re missing. Anyway, Robert Munsch is a Canadian author, and one of my all-time favourite children’s authors. It surprised me to learn he isn’t as well known in the States apparently? I don’t know if that’s changed or not, but he is a Canadian staple for a good reason, his books have ridiculous premises, are specifically written to be fun to read out loud, and have beautiful, involved, and hilarious illustrations. The Paperbag Princess is one of my absolute favourites, and as a kid it was one of the first stories I had ever read where a princess is the one saving the prince… and then telling the prince to piss off when it turns out he’s a jerk. Up, Up, Down is another favourite I reread this month, because it’s just hilarious funny and makes a fantastic read aloud with kids. Some other Robert Munsch I reread this month include: Mmm, Cookies, More Pies, Ribbon Rescue, Just One Goal, and Andrew’s Loose Tooth. You just cannot go wrong, for kids or adults.

Pit Pony

Another Canadian staple while I was growing up. If you’re a young adult know who went through the Canadian elementary school system, you probably had your entire heart ripped out and stepped on by this chapter book. It’s a historical fiction that looks at the economic hardship, debt slavery, child labour, and animal abuse that was tied to coal mining in the Maritimes. Finding a copy was harder than I would have expected give how pervasive it was a decade or so back, but reading it again was a pure shot of nostalgia.

Seeking Refuge

A graphic novel written by a German-born Canadian about a Jewish girl who flees Nazi-occupied Austria by way of Kindertransport to become a child refuge in England. It follows her as she is moved from host family to host family as the war continues to pick up and gradually makes it’s way to the United Kingdom as well. It’s very poignant and the pencil-sketch illustrations are an interesting change to a lot of the graphic novels that are out right now. This story is still aimed at a younger audience, so it never gets too brutal but it still is a hard hitting story, especially with everything else going on right now.

Silver Spoon #9/10

I know I’ve talked about these books before, but my library got some more since I last read them, so I’m continuing my way through the series. It’s about a teenaged boy who, after having a breakdown from the pressure he was feeling to study and succeeded, decided not to attend an academic, urban high school, but rather to apply for an agricultural high school so he could live in the dorms, far away from his parents. The series just gets more and more heartwarming as it continues. It’s all about failure and overcoming and how worth can be measured in different ways, and about family and understanding each other and coming together… but also about the realities of farming which aren’t always very nice, especially when it comes to finances and survival. It’s written by the mangaka behind Fullmetal Alchemist but I’ll be honest… I think I like this series more. It is honestly one of my all time favourite manga series, it just has so much heart.

Ruby Finds A Worry

aka Ruby’s Worry apparently? I can’t figure out why this has more than one title. I actually read it in French not English, so for me it was Le Souci de Calie. Regardless, this was a nice little picture book for talking about worries and anxieties with children… especially with the amount of Covid stress a lot of kids are dealing with. It explains in a really nice way how talking about anxieties are often the best way to make them more manageable, and how pretending nothing is wrong can just let it grow bigger and bigger. A good explanation for kids and possible a good reminder for adults.

War of the Realms: Journey Into Mystery

I read this because the Mcelroy family wrote it so I figured Hey! Why not give it a go! And I’m glad I did. Their brand of humour was all over it, and it made the story a delight to read. I don’t follow all of Marvel’s weirdness, so I didn’t actually know most of the characters (Miles and Kate were actually the only two I was familiar with) but they do a great job of introducing the characters and making them all feel distinct and interesting. I absolutely adore the Dog of Gods (God of Dogs) who is a very very good boy. And Miles is absolutely always a delight so you can’t really lose. It’s a single book that I think is a part of a larger plotline that I have zero interest in. This book is a fine one to read though if you don’t mind jumping into the middle of the action and just getting swept along for the ride. Also Mcelroys!

Witcher Omnibus

Bleh. Absolutely not worth it. All the misogyny and Dumb Bullshit that I hate in the original books and from video games in general. Honestly, Witcher III did way better by its characters than most of these short stories. The only one worth reading in it is Curse Of Crows – that one was actually really enjoyable, probably because it was about Ciri and had an actual fucking woman on the writing team. (Seriously guys what were you thinking with Fox Children that’s literally just a story from Season of Storms but done worse. Fuck off.) If you like The Witcher, go read Curse of Crows and skip every other story in this book.

Billy Stuart: Les Zintrépides #1

Another French (Quebecois) book I read, though I believe you can get it in English as well (Billy Stuart and the Zintrepids). It’s a chapter book / graphic novel hybrid, and was honestly a fairly fun little read. It’s in a similar vein to Geronimo Stilton but done much better in my opinion. The humour was funnier, the characters felt less like caricatures, and while it still used stylized fonts it was also less intrusive and eye-strainy than the Stilton books. Also when the story suddenly pivots into the main adventure and mystery of the series? Fantastic. Was not expecting a hell-beast to appear part way through the story. Very interested in reading more.

Over all, it was cute and funny, and I can see it being a good next step when children have read their fill of the Stilton series and want something similar but possibly a bit more involved and coherent.

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pocket-luv101 · 4 years

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Summary: Kuro and Mahiru needs to leave for an emergency and they ask Gear to watch their daughter. (KuroMahi, Fem Mahiru)

“She doesn’t do much but sleep. At least you can be certain that she’s your kid.” Gear said and Kuro rolled his eyes at his comment. He had invited his old friend to stay the weekend of Machi’s birthday. Since Gear and Youtarou lived in London, they couldn’t talk in person often. The sight of Kuro holding a baby was still shocking to Gear. For immortal beings like them, things like love and family were fleeting. Yet, Kuro was able to create a family.

“Machi is a toddler, Gear. What do you expect from her?” Kuro fondly stroked Machi’s soft hair. She was sleeping between them with her head on her father’s lap. She drooled on his pants but he didn’t mind and he only wiped her mouth. “Just wait until she wakes up and starts to bounce around the house. She got excited when we told her new friends were about to visit.”

“Youtarou knitted some hats for her. They’re made with wolf fur so they’ll protect her better than a helmet.” Gear nodded towards the gift bag on the couch. “I bought the new game system for her to play. I think she’ll enjoy my gift more.”

“Once again, Gear, she’s a toddler. Her hands are small so it’ll be difficult for her to hold the game controller, let alone press the buttons. For someone who’s smart, you can be dumb.” Kuro chuckled. He wasn’t threatened by the snarl Gear pointed at him. “We can plug in the game system and play after Machi’s nap. I haven’t been able to play video games since Machi was born.”

“You’re out of practise so I can defeat you easier than usual.”

They bantered for a little longer until a ringtone interrupted them. The sound roused Machi from her sleep and she began to whimper. He patted her back to sooth her until she drifted back to sleep. He glanced at Mahiru speaking over the phone. Kuro wondered what the call could be about when he saw the way her brows furrowed. He heard snippets of her conversation. “The situation sounds dangerous… How much longer can you contain the beast?”

“Is something wrong, Mahiru?” Kuro asked her once she ended the call. She appeared conflicted as she gestured for him to go into the hall with her. He lifted Machi off his lap without waking her and then placed her on a pillow. He followed her to the foyer where Machi wouldn’t overhear their conversation if she woke up. They stayed in the doorway so they would be able to watch their daughter.

“Yumikage called me.” She told him and bit her lip. Mahiru slightly relaxed when he took her hand and squeezed it gently. “There had been sightings of a griffon and C3 went to contain it. The griffon is closer to the city than they expected and they’re trying to capture it right now. Tsurugi’s squad is fighting it but they’re having trouble since none of them can fly. Yumikage thinks we’ll be able to help with my broom.”

Tsurugi was like a brother to Mahiru and he could see how worried she felt. While he became human, they kept a few of their powers from when they were a Servamp and Eve. She glanced to Machi sleeping in the living room and he understood the reason she hesitated to go. They couldn’t leave Machi alone while they left to fight the griffon. Everyone they would usually have to babysit Machi was busy.

“Tetsu and Misono are on vacation. Lily went with them. Tsurugi can’t watch over her because he’s…” Kuro and Mahiru wanted a simple life after fighting Tsubaki’s war but they would still help their friends when they were in danger. That had become more complicated now that they had a daughter. Since Mahiru lost her mother at a young age, she didn’t want her daughter to experience the same.

“Maybe we can call JeJe and ask him to watch over Machi last minute.” He suggested and she nodded in answer. She immediately took out her phone to call the Envy Pair and she hoped they would agree. They needed to leave as soon as possible to help her brother.

“Do you want me to kill that griffon for you?” Gear stepped into the hall. He was a werewolf and overheard their conversation. He leaned against the wall and said, “I can’t believe you two are searching for a babysitter when I’m right here. It’s a little hurtful that you didn’t even consider asking me to kill it.”

“That’s it!” Mahiru walked past Gear to speak with Youtarou in the kitchen. “Youtarou, an emergency came up. We don’t know how long we’ll be away. Can you watch Machi for us while we’re gone?”

“I was hurt before but now I feel insulted. I said I would fight a griffon but she pushed babysitting on me. Your wife isn’t afraid to anger a werewolf.” Gear sulked. “Youtarou will likely agree to babysit so I’ll help too.”

“Mahiru’s just worried about her brother. You’re worse with words so you can’t say anything.” Kuro patted his shoulder before he walked to Machi. He was grateful that his friend offered to watch over Machi for them and he trusted her with them. While Gear could be tactless with words, he would protect Machi.

He knelt next to his daughter and gently shook her awake. Machi sat up with a drowsy protest and groan. Kuro waited until she was more alert before he told her: “Machi, Papa and Mama need to go pick up your Uncle Tsurugi from the airport. You need to stay here. Your Uncle Gear will watch over you while we’re away. Do you remember that I told you that they would visit for your birthday?”

“Uncles from London?” She pointed to Gear and Kuro nodded. She smiled proudly that she was able to answer him correctly. He picked her up and handed her to Gear so she would feel more comfortable with him. She looked up at him with large, curious eyes and then she tried to grab his earring. “Pretty. We all go to Uncle ‘Rugi?”

“I’m sorry, Machi, but there’s only enough room in the airplane for three people.” Mahiru told her. She hated to lie to her daughter but she also wanted to protect her from the fighting they knew. Machi looked disappointed but she nodded. She lightly kissed her daughter’s forehead and promised, “We’ll come back soon. We love you, Machi.”

“Gear, can you stop pouting? You’re acting like more of a child than Machi and she’s only two years old.” Youtarou said. He set Machi on the ground to play with her toys while he spoke with Gear. He sat next to him on the couch but kept an eye on Machi. “I know it must be hard to stay behind while others fight. Aren’t you the one who always goes ‘Ash is just my pupil’ though? It’s clear that you care about him as a friend or else you wouldn’t act like this.”

He was silent yet Youtarou was able to read his thoughts easily. They had been together for a long time. He thought of the day he learned his grandmother died while he was going to college in London. Gear had been the person to comfort him and it was clear he knew the pain of loss. His words made Youtarou understand how lonely the immortal werewolf was.

Gear asked, “Do you think our roombas are lonely without us?”

“They’re machines.” He said.

“Uncle Gear.” He looked down when Machi patted his knee. She had a book under her arm so he guessed that she wanted him to read it to her. She tried to climb onto the couch so she could sit between them but she was too short to reach. Gear slowly lifted her onto the cushion and she opened the book on her lap.

“This witch is from London too!” She told them with a bright smile. Machi took Gear’s hand and made him pat the bright illustration of Big Ben. “Uncle Gear looks sad. Is it because you miss your home in London? Machi will read this London book to you so you’ll miss it a little less.”

“You’re so thoughtful, Machi.” Youtarou’s praise made her grin. “You’re certainly Kuro and Mahiru’s daughter.”

“Do you know when Papa and Mama are coming home?” Machi asked Gear. He couldn’t tell her an exact time so he only shrugged as an answer. She was disappointed by his answer, or lack of, and she turned to Youtarou with expectant eyes. “I wanna go with Papa and Mama. Why didn’t they take Machi? Machi’s small and can sit on Mama’s lap during the ride.”

“They can’t take a baby to a battle with a griffon. It’s dangerous and you’ll only get in the way.” Gear told her, unaware that Kuro had told Machi another reason they left. He didn’t notice the way her face paled. “A griffon can knock a person out of the sky in seconds.”

“Papa and Mama are fighting a scary grif-bon?” Machi started crying.

“Gear, you scared Machi!” Youtarou lightly chastised him before he picked up Machi to comfort her. He patted her back but he saw the confused expression Gear had. He hadn’t meant to frighten her but they needed to stop Machi’s tears. “I think I know how to cheer her up. Gear, turn into a wolf.”

“Isn’t that going to scare her more?” He pointed out. He decided to trust him and shifted his body to his wolf form. She didn’t stop crying and only pressed her face into Youtarou’s shoulder. Youtarou carefully placed her on the wolf’s back and held her hand so she wouldn’t fall off.

“This is a piggy back ride but with a wolf. Where do you want Mr. Wolf to take you, Machi?” Youtarou asked once she was comfortable. “Then we can braid his fur. I’ll teach you how to make yarn out of his fur too.”

“Mr. Wolf take Machi to Mama and Papa, please!” Machi gripped his fur and tugged it as if she could steer him like a horse. “Let’s go save Mama and Papa!”

#servamp #kuromahi #sloth pair #servamp kuro #mahiru shirota #fanfiction #fem mahiru #youtarou tsumugi #servamp gear #gear neugear hartevelt

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mrlnsfrt · 3 years

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True to Myself?

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me. - Psalm 51:5 NKJV

This post is not meant as an attack on anyone, it merely represents my current place in my personal journey. If you disagree with any of my points I am open to dialogue, I love to learn and grow. Once again, the views expressed in this post are my personal views.

Who am I?

I remember when I was in middle school I bought a paperback book entitled “who am I?” quiz book. I saw it in one of those Scholastic catalogs we would get at school and ordered it. I found the book and took a picture of it so you can see what I am talking about.

The book is divided into six parts.

The Inside Me

The Outside Me

What Are My Talents

How Do I Deal with Family and Friends?

How Do I Act with the Opposite Sex?

How Do I See the World and How Do I See Myself Fitting into It?

The back cover of the book says

“Here’s a book full of quizzes to help you find out all about the most important person in your life — you! Find out about the inside you, the outside you, your talents, and how you get along with your family, friends, and the opposite sex. Score yourself to find out how you measure up!”

Those of you who remember the early days of Facebook and even MySpace probably remember the quizzes people used to share. The quizzes would have titles like “Which Superhero Are You?” or something along those lines. Buzzfeed has quite the collection of useless quizzes to waste your time. But Buzzfeed would not waste time energy and resources in creating something completely useless. So why do they have so many quizzes about everything under the sun? My guess is that Buzzfeed does that for the same reason it does everything else, to get your attention, your time, and of course, your clicks.

So where am I going with this? Apparently, we are fascinated with ourselves and our mysteries. Many turn to their sign (astrology), their DNA, their family tree, online quizzes, personality tests, IQ tests, etc. We want to find out who we are, what we are like, what our strengths and weaknesses are, what we love and what we are good at among many other things. Clearly, I am in no position to point fingers since I spent some of my hard-earned money as an early teen buying a paperback quiz book that promised to help me figure out who I was.

I believe that there is value in taking time to figure ourselves out. I believe we should be familiar with what we enjoy and what we would rather avoid, what we are good at and what we struggle with. I believe that personality tests, etc. have their place. I am often concerned about self-improvement and I greatly value feedback. I understand that too much of this can be unhealthy, so I try to limit it to asking my leadership team to fill out a pastoral ministry evaluation form once a year. I want to know if I am improving, I want to know what I am doing well, I want to know what I could do better.

I guess this approach means I have a growth mindset. I do not believe that I am the best version of myself and that I can become better. I think I also annoy my wife a bit with this since I ask her how I could be a better husband fairly often. It is probably not very endearing to hear your significant other asking you, “So on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate my performance this last month?” “In which areas of the home life do you wish I was more involved?” etc.

I share all this as a way of recognizing my personal journey which shapes my view of life. I share this hoping that you can understand where I am coming from. This view of myself is deeply shaped by my personal theological views.

Fallen Human Nature

I believe that our core humans are not good, kind, and loving. I believe that at our core even our kindness is shaped by some selfish desire and only God can change that in us.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? - Jeremiah 17:9 NKJV

One of the reasons we seek these quizzes is because who we are is not obvious to us. We can lie to ourselves, which also renders these quizzes inaccurate. That’s why the above passage from Jeremiah is so significant to me. The practical way that I apply this verse in my personal life is that I distrust myself. I seek God for guidance, strength, wisdom, and help. This understanding of my natural state, as one that is fallen, causes me to not look within myself for the solution, but rather to God.

Here are the two verses that come before the one quoted above.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit. - Jeremiah 17:7-8 NKJV

According to these verses, when I trust and hope in the Lord, everything will turn out okay. My trust should not be in humans, including myself, my hope does not come from what I see, but is ultimately established in God. When I look inward I find reasons to lose hope. I find the words of David recorded in Psalm 51 very appropriate.

Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight— That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge.

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me. - Psalm 51:1-5NKJV

I strongly recommend reading the entire chapter. David wrote this when he was confronted regarding his sin of adultery and murder. David could have made excuses, he could have simply had the prophet who accused him killed, instead, he repented and recognized that he was sinful, he was guilty, and in desperate need of forgiveness.

One of the principles that jump out at me from Psalm 51 is that David did not blame God for his sin, or for the temptation that led to his sin. He could have argued that he was born that way, that he was attracted to the woman, and that he was simply following his heart, that he was simply being true to himself. Yet David recognizes that he should have controlled his urges, that he should control his attraction and not the other way around.

Look at what Paul had to say when he wrote to the Ephesians

And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. - Ephesians 2:1-3 NKJV

What I take away from what Paul is saying here is that a life dedicated or guided by the lusts and desires of the flesh goes against God’s plans. What is this flesh? Paul seems to label our internal desire that goes against God’s will as being from the flesh or carnal, as opposed to being from God or the spirit.

True to Myself?

I will try to illustrate this by looking at a challenging passage from the Bible.

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin. - Romans 7:14-25 NKJV (bold mine)

What I take away from Paul’s writing is that he is struggling. He wants to do things that he knows to be right, things that are in accordance with the law of God. Yet it feels like a battle because his body seems to want to do things he does not approve of, things that go against the law of God. I wonder if anyone reading this can relate to Paul’s struggle. You are aware of your duty, of what is right, but you don’t always feel like doing it. Sometimes you feel like being dishonest, choosing violence, not forgiving, getting revenge, cheating, stealing, lying. So what do you do in these circumstances?

If I want to be true to myself, which self do I choose? The self that recognizes God’s will or the self that rebels against God’s will for my life? If I insist that when I break God’s laws I am doing so in the name of being true to myself, does that make it okay?

Just to be clear, you are free to make your own choices. I am simply trying to convey that both choices or paths are not equal. Everyone is free to choose their own path. Any path is bound to have its share of struggles and difficulties. There is no easy path. But there is one path that God calls us to.

Here is how Jesus puts it:

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. - Matthew 7:13-14 NKJV

Some seem to believe that the life of the believer should be one of ease where all problems and difficulties simply evaporate. But I have yet to see one Bible hero who had an easy life.

Jesus also said,

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? - Matthew 16:24-26 NKJV

Jesus poses some important questions. Essentially, you are free to do whatever you want with this life, however, just doing whatever you want, the selfish and easier road will not lead to the best possible outcome. Eternal life is a gift from God and He gives it freely to those who choose Him above all. That means choosing God even above our personal desires. Following Jesus means doing His will even when it is difficult, or especially when it is difficult. You can choose to live for yourself, you can chase all that you want and become very rich, but what good will all the wealth in the world if it costs your eternal life? As Jesus put it “ For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?“

People around you may be all about being true to themselves, but I would argue that we should be more concerned about being true to God. Jesus calls me to deny myself, but this does not mean I cancel myself out. This means that whenever I have to decide between doing what I want and what God wants I should always choose what God wants. What God did for us, what He does, and what He is willing to do cannot be compared to anything this world has to offer.

Here is how Paul sees it,

But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:7-14 NKJV

My Truest Self

I would like to propose to you that we find our truest selves in Jesus. It may feel like our desires to rebel against God represent our true selves, because it feels easier, it feels more natural, and following God feels unnatural, feels difficult. But I would argue that the temptations feel natural because we live in a fallen world that is in a state of rebellion against God. However, God will one day make all things new, perfect just like they were before sin (See Genesis 1-3 and Revelation 21-22). So even though it feels like going against the current to be faithful to God, I choose to be faithful to God, by the strength He provides me through His Holy Spirit, because I know that God’s plans for me are much better than even the plans I have for myself.

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. - Jeremiah 29:11 NASB

#identity

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its-a-branwen-thing · 4 years

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On Qrow: Part 1

Buckle up, people, this is a Qrow appreciation post and it is a few weeks of brain gems so it’s loooonng and broken up into...two? three? I’m not sure yet parts because I love this man and his future story potential has me in tatters.

Qrow’s arc this season has been about recovery. Recovery from his alcoholism, his self doubt, his persistent pessimism. You love to see it. And it was evident from his introduction that Clover was supposed to be instrumental to that in an illustrative way. How instrumental, I think, is up to interpretation. (Yes, I did in fact heavily ship Fair Game and no, I am not here to discuss that topic, as this is a post on Qrow’s character moving forward). But as much of a help as Clover was he also served as a vessel for some very interesting tidbits and breadcrumbs that I think will service the future of Qrow’s character.

“I just found working alone tends to be for the best.”

“Well I think that’s a shame.”

It sure is a damn shame, Clover. E3 is our first real introduction to this character and his subsequent partnership with Qrow. My interpretation of these scenes is tinted heavily by my shipping brain which has shipped nothing in it’s life ever and decided now was time to read into this ill-fated, doomed relationship so in trying to look at them objectively, it seems that the start of Clover’s interactions with Qrow are about the latter’s relevancy. Which maybe we, as an audience, have also been questioning. If V6 proved anything, it was that team RWBY and JNPR are coming into their own and Qrow, who has been a guiding force for them these past few seasons, might no longer be needed in that same capacity. So what’s next for the mentor whose mentees are all grown up? Well, quite a bit of growth.

Ah, the infamous truck scene. Love it or hate it, Qrow and Clover have some dialogue here that moves the former’s arc towards something. There are two specific Clover lines I’ll point out as being significant:

“It’s a good thing they had someone to look up to, get them through it. Not everyone is so lucky.”

“Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You’ve had more of an effect on them than you realize.”

The crux of Qrow’s struggle is that he’s bad luck and he’s often so down on himself because he feels his presence hurts those around him, namely those he loves. That’s why I find the phrasing of these sentiments so interesting. Clover isn’t reassuring Qrow that he’s not bad luck. He’s reassuring him that he is an asset to his team regardless. That his guidance was something he should be proud of. He’s building his confidence in connection to others, which is exactly the thing Qrow is most sensitive about. And, ironically, what I find most compelling about his and Raven’s vastly different semblances in that they directly oppose their character’s foundational beliefs and functions. Qrow has always shown he’s wanted to be close to others. His semblance, as we know it so far, largely prevents that. And if a semblance is part of a person’s soul, than what does that say about our dusty old crow? (More on that...whenever)

“No one wanted me. I was cursed.”

This line hurts me so much. Let’s back up for a bit. Just a bit. This is a helluva moment in V6E4 because not only does it show us Qrow’s breaking trust and faith, it’s also ultimately what sends Ozpin into dormancy. It’s Qrow saying meeting Oz was the worst luck of his life that initiates his retreat into Oscar. Like the final twist of a knife in the gut. Qrow being one of his remaining generals likely plays a role in that dynamic, and I think these two need to have a reckoning soon.

But as V6 continues, we see Qrow spiral more. He tries to act like the leader but it feels forced. His heart isn’t in this fight anymore because his trust in Ozpin has been shattered. His ability to believe that the war is worth the effort is nullified. He drinks. He doesn’t care what the kids do. He stops really listening to them. This escalates when he tells them all to drop the fight in V6E9. It continues into E10, where he has a moment of panic in that they’ll all be caught and that he shouldn’t have dragged any of them into this fight. He says the state of the world is the fault of the older generation, of Oz and him and every other person who’s been fighting this war. He blames himself for dragging them along. But Ruby says they aren’t his responsibility. They chose this. So did he.

“But we could sure use Qrow Branwen on our side.”

The entire exchange in this episode is wonderful. It shows Qrow’s concern. It shows the team’s doubt. And it shows Ruby’s conviction. I loved her in these scenes because she took command in a way no one else could. Not even her uncle, a man she’d admired her whole life. Who she based her weapon off of, her color scheme. Ruby’s aim here is to reassure her uncle that he means something to this fight. He always has. Because he’s always been an inspiration to her.

Qrow’s recovery isn’t because of Clover, it’s been in the works since V6. Qrow fights Cordovin alongside them. He goes to Atlas with them. He could have, at literally any point, birbed out of there and gone to a bar to drink his sorrows away until his liver died. But he doesn’t. He remains in the fight. Because if there’s one thing we’re learning about Qrow Branwen right now, it’s that he’s never given up. Especially not on family. And, most evidently, he’s never given up on these kids. He might doubt their abilities, dismiss their plans. He might worry over their safety. But, and this is important, he never leaves their sides.

“I feel like they did all the heavy lifting.”

“But you were there to help when they asked for it, and you were there to catch them when the fell. Literally, if I recall.”

Maria, oh Maria, points this out to Qrow when he begins to doubt himself again. There’s a reason she’s here as a voice of wisdom. There’s a reason she was his inspiration. It’s being repeated, again and again, that Qrow has been important to these growing huntsman and huntresses. That he’s done his mentoring and teaching. That he’ll always be that for them. It, in my opinion, is effectively book ended by Clover’s points about how he mattered to the team. Why bring that up if it doesn’t culminate into something? He’s shared a lot with these kids. And they need to do more than lip service that relationship. But the one thing this, almost worryingly, solidifies is that Qrow’s continued arc is connected intrinsically to legacies. His idolization of Maria, his fight with Oz, his blame for the state of the world, Clover’s reassurance that he impacted the team, and, very importantly:

“What good is saving the world without another generation waiting in the wings? Hopefully they’ll leave Remnant better than we left it for them.”

I’ll start with this quote next time too but, for now, the parting shot of Maria and Qrow above that closes out their conversation--this is what made me realize Qrow’s recovery isn’t largely due to Clover. It’s largely due to all of this. And the fact that Maria and Qrow, two mentor figures, are framed side-by-side like this is a testament to the kind of legacies this show is all about. Legacies that are for better or worse. (with worse I’m referencing whatever legacies Cinder is part of with those lines this season)

----

I honestly want to leave this here as like, a peaceful end to this analysis but I have a lot of other things drafted in this breakdown so I’ll continue with them even if they’re a bit disjointed from this one to be...hopefully cemented together cohesively :) Hope this all makes sense and, obviously, that you enjoyed reading it!

#rwby #whew all done that part #qrow branwen #rwby meta #rwby 7 #one day the hiatus will take me but it is not this day...this day i still write

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southern-continent-skies · 4 years

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So I just finished the Captive Prince, all 3 books (in one night, trying my best to stay awake at work today), and I Have Thoughts:

1) SO GOOD. The sex. The sexual tension. The politics (at least as twisty and people-focused as Vorkosigan Saga). The characters. Every time I thought I knew where things were going, I was wrong, and it wasn’t just trope subversion - it was avoiding the cheap drama of having the characters make stupid decisions, and having them make the smart decisions instead (mostly). One of the things I hate most in a narrative is when a lot of the plot obstacles could have been solved in 5 minutes if anyone involved had ised their brain and/or their words. This... was not that. This was amazing.

2) I was genuinely shocked that it was actually. Like That. I had read some fanfic of it, but I assumed things like “the courtiers have skimpily-dressed ‘pets’ that have literal public orgies” was uh, a fandom exaggeration, where you take a subtext thing and bring it forward and make it sexier. NOPE. Wow. WOW. In a good way, the best possible way. They Went There. And their publisher let them do it! And I’m so happy about it.

2) Of course this was originally a “fan work.” I know it was always original fiction, but it’s exactly the kind of thing that goes on AO3 anyway because there’s no way you could get it professionally published with those themes, in that tone, with that rating. I didn’t know that before I bought them, but I am in no way surprised.

3) But it DID get published!! It’s selling for money! People are buying it! I’m guessing the online popularity convinced the publisher it could be worth it. Knowing it was an m/m romance, I purposely bought my copies from Amazon, because they frequently blacklist adult m/m from various navigation tools, and I want as much evidence as possible that that’s losing them money.

4) On a more specific note, Laurent had major shades of Miles Vorkosigan, if we replace some of the tools in his toolbox (minus hyperactivity, plus seduction) and give him a terrible home life. I definitely enjoyed this version of ridiculous “forward momentum” gambits that still, ludicrously and with exasperation for his fellow travelers, actually work.

5) Also, the trilogy as a whole reminded me of Queen’s Thief, except it was way better. I know a lot of people really like Queen’s Thief, but when I read them... I liked the story, and the characters were very good, but the books felt like sketches, somehow. They felt... too spare, not fully colored-in. Not unfinished, just, not enough detail to make them really come alive, I guess? Like the editor took out all the “extraneous” description and left just the action verbs. This series though, this had a similar “play shell games with neighboring kingdoms” vibe to the plot, but instead of a sketch it was an entire high-thread-count tapestry of detailed illustration. It was a lot of things I wanted from Queen’s Thief but felt were missing. A+, would read succession war/intrigue drama like this again.

#captive prince #book review #it goooooood #vorkosigan saga #queen’s thief

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imagine-loki · 4 years

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Ragnarok

TITLE: Ragnarok CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 3: Reunited AUTHOR: traveling-classicist ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you take care Odin when he was homeless on Midgard (based on the deleted scene from Ragnarok). You take him in and listen his crazy stories about Asgard and Thor thinking he’s just some crazy hobo who needs help. Then one day, Thor and Loki break into your apartment looking for their father. Hela returns in your living room and insanity ensues. RATING: T

AO3 Link: Here

NOTES/WARNINGS: Wow this came out as a big Ragnarok fix-it chapter. These things happen, I suppose. Enjoy, if it’s something that you need. I know some of us feel it.

Also, head to AO3 and please, read the endnote. If you don’t use AO3, I’ll summarize here.

Someone has stolen my material (including this story and my other story, Loki’s Daughter) and every single AO3 authors material and is profiting off of it by marketing an unofficial mobile app called the Fanfic Pocket Library Archive (Unofficial) App. This thing’s been around for several years but as I’m a little new to writing, this is the first I’ve heard of it. I do this for free and receive zero (0) dollars from it. I do it for fun but it’s my intellectual property and no one deserves to make money off of it, especially without my permission.

Please, if you use this app, stop, leave a one star review, report it as inappropriate on whatever store you use (it’s on all the popular ones), and then delete it. This person is hurting fanfic authors like me and many others on this blog! I don’t (and never) encourage sending hate mail to this individual and I don’t recommend you try to contact them directly, please. I don’t know if they know that they’re hurting us but we need to make sure that this app gets taken down.

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Several weeks had passed since Odin had come to live with Theo. They had finally settled into a workable routine. Theo was thankful she could finally work in peace for a full day without Odin bursting into her room yelling about frost giants or the helicopter he thought was an attacking dragon or whatever other mundane event triggered his dementia.

He was content, most days, with reading in the living room. Theo had gotten him a library card and they went to the library several times a week to keep him set up with books. Theo thought about getting him involved in book clubs or other social events but thought he might need a little more time before he could be with other people again.

He no longer spoke about the crazy doctor and he did not bring up the incident that Theo had had with him. For which, she was grateful. All in all, he was a good roommate and Theo enjoyed listening to his stories about Asgard and the battles in the Nine Realms. She was concerned by his comments about the Avenger Thor being his son, but she was not sure what to do about them.

She had asked him how long he had been in New York and he could remember being there for about four years. She assumed he had been upset and displaced during the Battle of New York, like herself and so many others had been. She thought, perhaps, this is where his fantasies about Thor and the Avengers had come from. A lot of people had had psychotic breaks after the aliens attacked. New Yorkers could come back from a lot: freak storms, floods, train wrecks, fires, terrorists, spies. But aliens and super heroes proved to be just a little too much for some.

Her attempts to get him to see a real doctor had all come up short. She did not want to force Odin to do something he did not want to do. She still wanted him to have the dignity of being his own person. He was healthy, for the most part, though she had noticed a bit of bodily weakness as of late. She had just chalked it up to the cold weather and old age. She was slowly working on his alcohol habit. He was down to only a few drinks a week now, instead of one a day. She did have to start hiding the booze in her room, though, after she caught him pinching some beer in the middle of the night one night.

She hoped that with a little more time together, he would come to trust her enough to go to a doctor to address his mental state but for now, as he wasn’t hurting himself or anyone else, she was content with him just being content. She enjoyed living with him. She didn’t feel like it was a chore to take care of him. She loved cooking for him and introducing him to new food.

She learned he had something of a sweet tooth so she kept a jar stocked with cookies or brownies or tarts or whatever recipe she could find. He even began checking out cookbooks from the library that had photos of food he thought looked good or familiar.

“Oh, these look like the apple tarts that Idunn used to make for us. Do you think you could make these? Of course, you don’t have golden apples but I’m sure you could find a decent substitute,” he would say.

“Sure! They look easy enough,” Theo would reply. “Check this one out and we’ll drop by the grocery store and pick up the ingredients.”

When they arrived back at her apartment, she unpacked the groceries. To her surprise, Odin came to her side and helped her. He took out the milk and cheese and a few other things and placed them in the refrigerator. She smiled. She’d have to remove the cereal and oatmeal he put in there later but at least he was trying to help.

He placed her cookbook on the island in the kitchen and took the rest of his books to the living room to read. She put on some coffee for him. She had found that he did enjoy a cup of coffee while he read. She set down a mug for him and he thanked her as he pulled out one of his newest books, a book about modern American politics. He went through books very quickly, so he often checked out ten or more books in a single visit. Among them this time were books about the Afghan wars, the Iraqi war, the American revolution, the Civil War, the civil rights movement, another Norse mythology book, and a book about Nordic style knitting.

She returned to the kitchen and started on the recipe for the apple tarts. She started on the dough and made up the apple and cinnamon mixture. She glanced up at Odin and caught him watching her from over the top of her book. When she caught his eye, he quickly looked down at his book again. She smiled and placed the tart crusts in to bake. When they were done, she pulled them out and added the apple mixture on the tarts. When she was finished, she put the tarts back in the oven.

“Okay, those need a little more time and then we can try them out,” Theo said.

“They already smell delightful,” Odin said.

Theo smiled. She enjoyed how happy he had been recently. It was good to see someone who had been so spiteful and angry and confused, be content and happy with life. Even though, he was still rather confused most of the time.

“Nordic Style Knitting?” Theo read, as she picked up one of Odin’s books from the pile on the coffee table.

“Knitting?” he said, taking a closer look. “I thought that said, ‘knighting’. I must be losing my sight.”

“Aw, I thought you were going to pick up a new hobby,” Theo said, a little disappointed. “Knighting? It has a picture of a woman with a knitted sweater on it looking longingly into mid-distance. How did you think this was about knights?”

“Well, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. That’s what the librarian lady always says,” Odin said.

Theo nodded. “Well, I guess that’s true. But if there’s anything about knights in here, be sure to tell me because that would be the plot twist of the century.”

“Hmph, a king does not have time for knitting,” he said.

“Right, well you’re not much of a King of a the Dumpsters now, are you?” Theo said, smiling.

“Well, I suppose I’m not king anymore,” he muttered.

“Are you happy?” she asked. He looked up at her and smiled. His eye shimmered a bit in the light.

“Most of the time,” he said.

She laughed. “Well, that’s the goal, isn’t it?” She leaned over the couch and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be in my room for a bit. I’ll be out when the oven beeps.”

She walked down the hallway to her room and flopped onto her bed, playing on her phone. The apartment filled with the smell of apple tarts. It made her stomach growl in anticipation. She rolled over on her back, phone raised over her face, playing Candy Crush. She completely lost track of time and before long the timer started beeping in the kitchen.

“What is that! Who’s there?” Odin shouted at the oven.

The beeping and Odin’s booming voice made her jump. The phone slipped from her hands and landed like a brick on her face. “Ow,” she groaned as she slumped off her bed to get Odin away from the oven again before he started beating it with her rolling pin.

“Odin, it’s just the timer, remember? Our tarts are done!” she said, removing the rolling pin gently from his hands. She pulled on her oven mits and pulled out the tray. Odin’s hand went straight for one, but Theo smacked it away. He recoiled holding his hand and giving her a sour look.

“Not now, you crazy! They just came out! They’re still hot,” she said.

He frowned at her and grumbled as he stalked to the living room and plopped down on the couch again. She smiled and shook her head. She waited for them to cool before plating a few for him and some for herself and walking into the living room to join him. She set the plate down in front of him. When she looked down at him, he had his hands on his head again like he did when he was upset and frustrated. A book was open in his lap.

“Odin? Are you alright? What’s wrong?” she asked, setting the plate down on the table.

“Asgard is not a place, I know that, but I have to remember,” he said, hitting his head with his palms.

“No, no, we don’t do that, Odin,” Theo said, stopping him. “Just take a deep breath, come on.” She picked up the book from his lap. It was the Norse mythology book. He grabbed it from her and pointed to the page he was on.

“Look, look at her, I know her,” he said, pointing to an illustration of a woman on the page. Theo read the caption, ‘The Goddess of Death, Hela’. She looked up at Odin again. He was clearly in distress.

“It’s alright, Odin, here have a tart, remember? We were excited about these. They smell really good,” she prompted him with the plate, but he shook his head. He was really distressed if food would not bring him out of this.

“They’ve got it all wrong. They’ve got it all wrong! Stupid Midgardians. Not you, Theo! Them!” he said, pointing at the book and fidgeting. “She’ll come back. I do not know when, but it feels soon. Very soon. She will kill me.”

“Odin, no one is going to kill you,” Theo said, coolly, trying to keep a calm tone.

“No, no, she will. It’s been foretold that she will,” he panted.

�� “Odin, those are just stories. No one is going to kill you. Did you see that guard dog of a landlord I have downstairs? He’s not going to let anyone in that doesn’t live here. I promise, no one is going to kill you.”

“I must speak with my sons. I must speak with them now! I must warn them immediately!” he said. “Asgard is not a place!” He pounded on his head again. “Why won’t they listen! Why can’t I remember!”

“Odin, please, stop! Don’t hurt yourself!” Theo grabbed both his hands and held them. He stared at her. Beads of sweat had appeared on his forehead. His eye was bloodshot and glistened with welling tears. Theo sighed.

“Listen. Let me help you. Please,” she pleaded with him, holding his hands. “Take a deep breath.”

“Theo—”

“Shut it! Do as I say,” she snapped.

He sighed and took a deep breath.

“Alright, now let it out.” He did so. “Again,” Theo said, softening her tone now that he was listening to her. She made him take several deep breaths in and out until he was calm. She held his hands so that he could not hit himself.

“Okay, I want you to close your eye and focus on your breathing and make all the other little Odin voices stop talking in your head. Frigga too, if she’s in there,” Theo said. “Sorry, Frigga,” she added, quietly.

“This is silly,” Odin said.

“It’s not silly, just trust me, okay. Rule number seven, remember?” she said. He opened his eye and looked at her.

“Fine,” he grumbled, closing his eye again.

“Good. Sometimes this takes a while. It takes me a while sometimes so just tell me when you have them all shut up.”

She waited for several minutes when finally, Odin said, “Alright.”

“Okay, now let’s think about how this started. You were reading your book and you got to this page about Hela,” Theo said.

“I know her,” he said, quickly.

“Okay, how do you know her? Is she your friend?”

“No, no, no, they have it all wrong here,” he said pointing to the book.

“Alright, alright, well how do you know her? Take a deep breath and think hard about it. Don’t let any of the other voices think over you.”

He closed his eye and scrunched his brow, clearly concentrating hard on this task.

“She… She… is my… daughter,” he whispered. “She is my daughter.” A tear slipped from his eye. Theo looked at him, squeezing his hands. He started breathing hard. His eye flicked around and then up at Theo. “She’s my daughter and I forgot about her. I forgot about her!”

“Oh, Odin,” she said, squeezing his hands. “Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault,” Theo said, rising up to sit next to him on the couch. She put her arm around him.

He put his face in his hands. His body shook with silent sobs. “I’m a terrible father,” he whispered. “To all my children.”

“Odin, I’m sure that’s not true.”

“It is. I’ve done nothing but push them away and lock them up, punish them for who they are, for who I made them to be. They all hate me. They all think I’m mad and foolish. And I am. I’ve been blind to them.” He collapsed into his hands again.

Theo couldn’t help her own tears at seeing him cry. She rubbed his back and squeezed his arm, trying to think of something to help him feel better. She knew that sometimes, when people broke down like this – which many of her former roommates had on this couch – it was often helpful for her just to sit with them and listen.

“I’m sorry, Odin,” she said, softly. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but the fact that you realize that you’ve made mistakes may mean that there’s still time for you to fix your relationship with your children; that you can ask for their forgiveness.”

“You don’t understand, girl,” he said, shaking his head. “What I’ve done to Hela, to Loki…the eons of torture and brutality I’ve put them through… there is no conversation that can fix.”

Theo was a little scared by what he was saying now. She wanted to be optimistic for him and supportive, but she had a gut feeling there was something more going on here that Odin was not telling her.

“Well,” she said, her voice a little shaky. “We can only try. For right now, let’s just have a few tarts and try to calm down. Maybe, you can think about what you would want to say to your kids if they were here.”

He sighed. “I would want to tell them I love them,” he said. He wiped away the tears from his face and took a tart.

Theo looked at him sympathetically. She tried not to cry herself as she took a tart too. She took a bite. She was impressed with her baking. They tasted really good, immediately improving her mood.

“Mmm,” Odin muttered. “My sons would love these. Frigga, too. They loved Idunn’s apple tarts.”

“Do I do them any justice? Even without the golden apples?” she said, bumping his shoulder with hers.

“They’ll do,” he said with a little smile. He looked up at her. “Thank you, Theo.”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” she said, standing to get a drink from the kitchen. As she walked, there was a sudden pounding on the door. “Now, who’s that?”

She walked back towards the door, but the pounding got louder. “Hang on! I’m coming!” she said, shoving the rest of the apple tart in her mouth and swallowing it in one bite. She could hear muffled voices outside. There was a loud bang on the door that made Theo jump.

“Hey!” she shouted. “Knock it off!”

There was another bang and the door heaved inwards. Theo jumped back and reached for the coatrack. The door gave one last shudder before shattering into a million pieces across her entryway floor. Theo slammed against the wall beside the coatrack, as two men casually walked into her apartment: Thor, the Avenger and Loki, the alien that attacked New York. She reached into her coat pocket on the coatrack and pulled out a handgun, pointing it at Loki’s head.

“Do not come any closer. What the hell are you doing in my house?” she shouted at them.

“Father!” Thor said, stepping over the broken pieces of door to Odin who was standing by the coffee table.

“Thor! My son!” Odin said, putting his hand on Thor’s cheek. “Oh, my sons! I love you!”

Theo did not take her eyes off Loki, nor the sights of her gun. Her hand was steady, though her heart was racing. He was looking at Odin with brows raised in shock at his adoptive father’s admonition upon their arrival. He looked back at the Theo with her gun pointed at his head. He raised his hands slowly and gave her a gentle look.

“I apologize for my brother murdering your front door,” he said, slowly. “Please, allow me to fix it.”

He waved his hand and the splinters of the door began to reform on the broken hinges. Theo felt a wriggling sensation under her foot. She looked down to see a large chunk of the door wiggling to get free as if pulled by a magnet towards its comrades. She lifted its foot and it replaced itself, making the door whole again.

Loki stepped over to it and tested it, swinging it open and shut. “There, good as new,” he said. Theo still had the gun trained on him. He turned back to her. “Please, put that down. We’re just here for him.” He pointed to Odin with his thumb.

“He… He was telling the truth… All this time? And I thought he was crazy…” Theo said.

“Well, you’re probably not completely wrong. I’m pretty sure he’s crazy,” Loki said.

Odin ran over to them and grabbed Theo’s arm, lowering her gun.

“Theo! You’re breaking rule number five, young lady,” he scolded her. “No weapons!”

“It’s my house. They’re my rules. And I get to break them when GIGANTIC ALIEN MEN COME TEARING DOWN MY DOOR!” she shouted, pointing at the brothers.

“I do suppose that’s fair,” Loki said, looking at his brother.

“No weapons?” Thor said. “What kind of house is this?”

“Thor, don’t be rude,” Loki muttered.

“A safe one!” Theo snapped. “Now, explain yourselves right now!”

“My name is Thor, and this is Loki—”

“I know damn well who you are! Why on earth would you leave your father here to become homeless? Why would you say you would come for him and then just leave him here with no way to contact you?”

“That’s a good question,” Thor smiled at Theo. “You want to answer that one, Loki?” he growled at Loki.

“Homeless?” Loki said. “I didn’t leave him homeless here. I left him in a home. For old people. A retirement home. Where he could play bingo and mingle with old Midgardians and tell war stories and be cared for day and night their healer nurse-doctor people or whatever.”

“And that retirement home went out of business,” Theo said, standing on her tip toes to be eye level with him. “I guess they don’t have a mailing address for Asgard, do they!”

“So, what, they just turned him out on the street?” Loki asked.

“Yes! They had nowhere else to put him!”

“What kind of place is this? Just throwing your elders out like trash?”

“Welcome to America, sweetie. You don’t have the money to pay for yourself, you go out on the street.”

“Thor, this is not what I intended,” Loki said, addressing his brother. “All I did was strip him of his memories so he wouldn’t rouse the Midgardians’ suspicions, but I did not do this.”

Thor shook his head at him and rolled his eyes and turned to Odin. “I’m sorry that this happened father—”

“No, I am sorry, to both of you,” Odin said.

“What?” both the brothers said in unison. Loki stared at him with surprise, thinking he had heard him wrong. Odin turned his attention to him.

“I am sorry for how I’ve treated you, Loki. For the lies I’ve told you. For blaming you, when I should have blamed myself. Your lawless nature, these storms inside you; you inherited from me. And I would never wish that on another soul,” Odin said, tears in his eyes. “You are my son. I just hope that you can forgive me now after all that I have done.”

Loki stared at him, taken aback by his words. He had no words of his own. He looked at Thor and then to Theo. She crossed her arms, gun still in hand. He stared blankly at Odin, unsure of what to do or say or even what to think.

Thor too was in shock. He looked back and forth between his father and his brother.

“Father, I think you broke him,” he said, chuckling a little, putting his hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“I… I…I do not know what to say,” Loki said.

“That’s alright,” Odin said, putting up his hand. “I don’t expect forgiveness right away. Now, Thor, I must speak with you too.”

Thor wiped his nose with the back of his hand, trying to disguise his man-tears. Theo scoffed. Loki was still searching the room for something that could help him respond. He stepped closer to Theo while Odin spoke with Thor.

“What’s in those tarts?” he asked, suspiciously.

Theo turned her head slowly to glare at him, shooting daggers. “Apples,” she said, feigning hospitality. “And a bit of cinnamon and brown sugar. You’re welcome to one if you want,” she said, though a bit scornful. “And you didn’t answer my question. Why did you leave him here?”

Loki looked uncomfortable. “It’s a long story.”

“Start talking,” Theo said.

“I was not expecting this apologetic Odin. He’s never been this way before. Several years ago, Asgard was dealing with an unexpected war with the dark elves. My brother abdicated his right to the throne and Odin was, well, unfit to rule after our mother died. He was willing to sacrifice every Asgardian warrior we had to defeat the elves just uphold some old family grudge. So, I did what needed to be done and removed Odin from power.”

“Jesus,” Theo said, rolling her eyes.

“I brought him here so he would be safe. I removed his memories with a spell so as to disguise his existence. To keep him safe not only from Midgardians but other powers in the universe that might want him dead. I wasn’t expecting them to throw him out on the street!”

Theo shook her head, not meeting Loki’s eyes.

“But I am grateful to you, Theo, for taking him in. Thor is too, though he may forget to say so.”

“Mmm,” Theo grunted. “How did you even know where to find us?”

“Pfft, that crazy second-rate magician that lives on this island too.”

“Oh no, not him,” Theo whined, as a sparkling portal began to appear in her living room behind Loki. Doctor Strange and Wong stepped through.

“I know, right,” Loki continued. “What a knob. He made me fall through one of his stupid portals for thirty minutes while he tried to figure out where you two were. Man’s not a sorcerer. His magic’s more suitable for children than… he’s right behind me…”

“Hello again, Loki. Theo,” the doctor greeted them. Theo cocked the gun in her hand.

#Loki #Lover #God of Mischief #Submitted fic #submission #ragnorok #traveling-classicist #chapter 3

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