#this is being advertised to me by forever 21

[britneyshakespeare]

shapeless horse dress

a horse a horse my figure for a horse

#this is being advertised to me by forever 21 #i guess fb realized i was never going to buy their shein they always shove in my face #little do they know i have no desire to buy clothing over the internet and the brand wont change that #text post #the way the boots just kinda stick out like yeah we're here too. not trying to intrude or impose but we're here #im not even a maxi dress hater. not at all but all this is giving is a paper towel roll w a horse #also i imagine if youre not just a straight-up-and-down flat-chested person the pattern bends in weird ways no? #those poor boots. im sorry i cant stop looking at them they look so awkward. they look like theyre sorry for being there

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Precaratize bosses

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me SUNDAY (Apr 21) in TORINO, then Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

Combine Angelou's "When someone shows you who they are, believe them" with the truism that in politics, "every accusation is a confession" and you get: "Every time someone accuses you of a vice, they're showing you who they are and you should believe them."

Let's talk about some of those accusations. Remember the moral panic over the CARES Act covid stimulus checks? Hyperventilating mouthpieces for the ruling class were on every cable network, complaining that "no one wants to work anymore." The barely-submerged subtext was their belief that the only reason people show up for work is that they're afraid of losing everything – their homes, their kids, the groceries in their fridge.

This isn't a new development. Back when Clinton destroyed welfare, his justification was that "handouts" make workers lazy. The way to goad workers off their sofas (and the welfare rolls) and into jobs was to instill fear in them:

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2018/03/welfare-childhood/555119/

This is also the firm belief of tech bosses: for them, mass tech layoffs are great news, because they terrorize the workers you don't fire, so that they'll be "extremely hardcore" and put in as many extra hours as the company demands, without even requiring any extra pay in return:

https://fortune.com/2022/10/06/elon-musk-jason-calacanis-return-to-office-gentlemens-layoffs-twitter/

Now, there's an obvious answer to the problem of no one taking a job at the wage being offered: just increase the offer. Capitalists claim to understand this. Uber will tell you that surge pricing "incentivizes drivers" to take to the streets by offering them more money to drive during busy times:

https://www.uber.com/blog/austin/providing-rides-when-they-are-most-needed/

(Note that while Uber once handed the lion's share of surge price premiums to drivers, these days, Uber just keeps the money, because they've entered the enshittification stage where drivers are so scared of being blacklisted that Uber can push them around instead of dangling carrots.)

(Also note that this logic completely fails when it comes to other businesses, like Wendy's, who briefly promised surge-priced hamburgers during busy times, but without even the pretense that the surge premium would be used to pay additional workers to rush to the restaurant and increase the capacity:)

https://www.theguardian.com/food/2024/feb/27/wendys-dynamic-surge-pricing

So bosses knew how to address their worker shortage: higher wages. You know: supply and demand. For bosses, the issue wasn't supply, it was price. A worker who earns $10/hour but makes the company $20 profit every hour is splitting the surplus 50:50 with their employer. The employer has overheads (rent on the shop, inventory, advertising and administration) that they have to pay out of their end of that surplus. But workers also have overheads: commuting costs, child-care, a professional wardrobe, and other expenses the worker incurs just so they can make money for their boss.

There's no iron law of economics that says the worker/boss split should be 50/50. Depending on the bargaining power of workers and their bosses, that split can move around a lot. Think of McDonald's and Walmart workers who work for wildly profitable corporate empires, but are so badly paid that they have to rely on food stamps. The split there is more like 10/90, in the boss's favor.

The pandemic changed the bargaining power. Sure, workers got a small cushion from stimulus checks, but they also benefited from changes in the fundamentals of the labor market. For example, millions of boomers just noped out of their jobs, forever, unwilling to risk catching a fatal illness and furious to realize that their bosses viewed that as an acceptable risk.

Bosses' willingness to risk their workers' lives backfired in another way: killing hundreds of thousands of workers and permanently disabling millions more. Combine the boomer exodus with the workers who sickened or died, and there's just fewer workers to go around, and so now those workers enjoy more bargaining power. They can demand a better split: say, 75/25, in their favor.

Remember the 2015 American Airlines strike, where pilots and flight attendants got a raise? The eminently guillotineable Citibank analyst Kevin Crissey declared: "This is frustrating. Labor is being paid first again. Shareholders get leftovers":

https://www.thestreet.com/investing/american-airlines-flight-attendants-bash-citi-analyst-who-put-shareholders-before-workers-14134309

Now, obviously, the corporation doesn't want to offer a greater share of its surplus to its workforce, but it certainly can do so. The more it pays its workers, the less profitable it will be, but that's capitalism, right? Corporations try to become as profitable as they can be, but they can't just decree that their workers must work for whatever pay they want to offer (that's serfdom).

Companies also don't get to dictate that we must buy their goods at whatever price they set (the would be a planned economy, not a market economy). There's no law that says that when the cost of making something goes up, its price should go up, too. A business that spends $10 to make a widget you pay $15 for has a $5 margin to play with. If the business's costs go up to $11, they can still charge $15 and take $1 less in profits. Or they can raise the price to $15.50 and split the difference.

But when businesses don't face competition, they can make you eat their increased costs. Take Verizon. They made $79b in profit last year, and also just imposed a $4/month service charge on their mobile customers due to "rising operational costs":

https://www.reddit.com/r/LateStageCapitalism/comments/1c53c4p/79bn_in_profits_last_year_but_you_need_an_extra/

Now, Verizon is very possibly lying about these rising costs. Excuseflation is rampant and rising, as one CEO told his investors, when the news is full of inflation-talk, "it’s an opportunity to increase the prices without getting a whole bunch of complaining from the customers":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/11/price-over-volume/#pepsi-pricing-power

But even stipulating that Verizon is telling the truth about these "rising costs," why should we eat those costs? There's $79b worth of surplus between Verizon's operating costs and its gross revenue. Why not take it out of Verizon's bottom line?

For 40 years, neoliberal economists have emphasized our role as "consumers" (as though consumers weren't also workers!). This let them play us off against one-another: "Sure, you don't want the person who rings up your groceries to get evicted because they can't pay their rent, but do you care about it enough to pay an extra nickel for these eggs?"

But again, there's no obvious reason why you should pay that extra nickel. If you have the buying power to hold prices down, and workers have the labor power to keep wages up, then the business has to absorb that nickel. We can have a world where workers can pay their rent and you can afford your groceries.

So how do we get bosses to agree to take less so we can have more? They've told us how: for bosses, the thing that motivates workers to show up for shitty jobs is fear – fear of losing their homes, fear of going hungry.

When your boss says, "If you don't want to do this job for minimum wage, there's someone else who will," they're telling you that the way to get a raise out of them is to engineer things so that you can say, "If you don't want to pay me a living wage for this job, there's someone else who will."

Their accusation – that you only give someone else a fair shake when you're afraid of losing out – is a confession: to get them to give you a fair shake, we have to make them afraid. They're showing us who they are, and we should believe them.

In her Daily Show appearance, FTC chair Lina Khan quipped that monopolies are too big to care:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaDTiWaYfcM

Philosophers of capitalism are forever praising its ability to transform greed into public benefit. As Adam Smith put it, "It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest." The desire to make as much money as possible, on its own, doesn't produce our dinner, but when the butcher, the brewer and the baker are afraid that you will take your labor or your wallet elsewhere, they pay more and charge less.

Capitalists don't want market economies, where they have to compete with one another, eroding their margins and profits – they want a planned economy, like Amazon, where Party Secretary Bezos and his commissars tell merchants what they can sell and tell us what we must pay:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/01/managerial-discretion/#junk-fees

Capitalists don't want free labor, where they have to compete with rival capitalists to bid on their workers' labor – they want noncompetes, bondage fees, and "training repayment agreement provisions" (TRAPs) that force their workers to stay in dead-end jobs rather than shopping for a better wage:

\https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/04/its-a-trap/#a-little-on-the-nose

Capitalists hate capitalism, because capitalism only works if the capitalists are in a constant state of terror inspired by the knowledge that tomorrow, someone smarter could come along and open a better business, poaching their customers and workers, and putting the capitalist on the breadline.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/18/in-extremis-veritas/#the-winnah

Being in a constant precarious state makes people lose their minds, and capitalists know it. That's why they work so hard to precaratize the rest of us, saddling us with health debt, education debt, housing debt, stagnating wages and rising prices. It's not just because that makes them more money in the short term from our interest payments and penalties. It's because it de-risks their lives: monopolies and cartels can pass on any extra costs to consumers, who'll eat shit and take it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/02/its-the-economy-stupid/#overinflated

A workforce that goes to bed every night worrying about making the rent is a workforce that put in unpaid overtime and thank you for it.

Capitalists hate capitalism. You know who didn't hate capitalism? Karl Marx and Freidrich Engels. The first chapter of The Communist Manifesto is just these two guys totally geeking out about how much cool stuff we get when capitalists are afraid and therefore productive:

https://pluralistic.net/SpectreHaunting

But when capitalists escape their fears, the alchemical reaction that converts greed to prosperity fizzles, leaving nothing behind but greed and its handmaiden, enshittification. Google search is in the toilet, getting worse every year, but rather than taking reduced margins and spending more fighting spam, the company did a $80b stock-buyback and fired 12,000 skilled technologists, rather than using that 80 bil to pay their wages for the next twenty-seven years:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task

Monopoly apologists like to argue that monopolists can rake in the giant profits necessary to fund big, ambitious projects the produce better products at lower prices and make us all better off. But even if monopolists can spend their monopoly windfalls on big, ambitious projects, they don't. Why would they?

If you're Google, you can either spend tens of billions on R&D to keep up with spam and SEO scumbags, or you can spend less money buying the default search spot on every platform, so no one ever tries another search engine and switches:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi

Compared to its monopoly earnings, the tech sector's R&D spending is infinitesimal:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/11/nor-glom-of-nit/#capitalists-hate-competition

How do we get capitalists to work harder to make their workers and customers better off? Capitalists tell us how, every day. We need to make them afraid.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/19/make-them-afraid/#fear-is-their-mind-killer

Image: Vlad Lazarenko (modified) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wall_Street_Sign_%281-9%29.jpg CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #petard #precarity #cares act #stimulus #market discipline #competition #too big to care #antitrust #labor #trustbusting #consumer welfare #every accusation is a confession

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ivy Melty Chapter 21

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.

In the end, my contract with Aegis came to an end without anything being done since then.

(I worked so hard and longed for it so much. The time to quit went by so fast ...)

(How did this happen?)

--flashback--

Ivy: From now on, we will be together forever. I will protect you. You don’t have to worry about anything.

Ivy: I will protect you from everything that tries to take you away from me …

--flashback end--

(It's true that I was subjected to unreasonable treatment at the company, and I was also talked behind my back. And on top of that, there was that incident with Yamauchi-san ...)

(Is Ivy-san right, was Aegis not right for me? Was this really the right choice?)

... I don't know. I can't think straight. My head has been in turmoil ever since that night.

And then.

Ivy: Rina-chan, I'm coming in.*

When Ivy-san came into the room, he smiled happily.

Ivy: Your contract with Aegis has finally ended. I'm so glad you're free.

He sat down next to me and hugged me gently.

Ivy: I am very proud of you. That's great.

Ivy: I'll protect you from now on. You don't have to worry about anything anymore.

("Protect." That word again ...)

He says he will protect me, but put his arms around me so tightly as if restraining me.

I can't help but feel a certain discomfort in his words and demeanor ...

(But ... Ivy-san is really worried about me.)

Because I knew this, I couldn't refuse his gentle hand that had supported me all this time.

Rina: ...

Ivy: What's wrong? I'm right here with you, so there's nothing to be worried about.

Rina: Ivy-san ...

Ivy: Ah, that's right. I have to tell you what's going to happen next.

In a cheerful voice, Ivy-san begins to talk about his future plans.

... I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Ivy: Corsa has been contracted to produce the CM.

Rina: Is Corsa the Corsa Agency?

It's the largest advertising agency in Japan, even larger than Aegis.

(I believe they were a strong candidate for this competition as well. I remember they were talking with exe at the Essence show before.)

(But I never thought I'd see Corsa's name mentioned here ...)

I couldn't hide my surprise, but Ivy-san continued his explanation.

Ivy: In choosing Corsa, I had three conditions.

Ivy: First, we need to use the project that you have created. Second, I want you to be the director of the project.

Rina: !? W-wait a minute.

(I was only a staff member, so it would be absurd for me to be a director. No, it's more than that ...!)

Rina: That's not going to happen. The plan has certainly been rethought for re-presentation.

Rina: But the main idea was created when I was at Aegis. I believe the rights to the project still belong to Aegis.

... He seemed to calm down and consented to my words.

Ivy: Of course, I've already thought of that.

Ivy: The third condition is that Corsa has to settle the rights for the project with Aegis.

To my surprise, Corsa seemed to have met these conditions.

Ivy: Corsa was eager to talk to Aegis because they wanted to get this deal.

Ivy: It may take a little longer, but I think they'll make sure they give up their rights.

(Certainly, Corsa, the largest company in Japan, may be able to take advantage in discussions with Aegis ...)

Ivy: The production of the CM will begin as soon as we reach an agreement in this discussion.

Ivy: Until then, we'll be on standby for a while, so let's get ready for what's to come.

(Corsa is the producer of the CM? I'm the director? I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be doing ...)

The situation was so unexpected that my mind couldn't catch up with it.

Ivy: There are a few things we need to do regarding your new contract.

Rina: New contract ...?

His words confused me even more.

Ivy: You and I will make a direct contract.

Rina: !?

Ivy-san proposed that he be contracted as my employer and I work for him, including the CM.

Ivy: From now on, your job will be mainly to assist me.

Ivy: I'm going to need your help with a lot of things, including preliminary research for exe offers.

Ivy: But don't think too hard. It's not that different from before, and I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do.

Rina: ... Is that what you meant when you said before that "I would be working for you"?

Ivy: Yeah, it's a good idea, right? I can always protect you with this.

(It's not a suggestion ... it's already decided in Ivy-san's mind.)

The proof was in the smile on his face as he looked at me. He probably had no idea that I'd reject him.

Something was rising up from deep within my chest.

Rina: ...

Ivy: Rina-chan, what's wrong? You think it's a good idea, don't you?

Rina: ... I'm glad to be by your side from now on.

Rina: But aren't you being too pushy? At least consult with me first ...

Ivy: Rina-chan ...

Ivy: I'm sorry. But I couldn't help myself when I thought of what I was doing for you ...

Although smiling kindly, there was something off about Ivy-san's words. ... The sense of discomfort was growing.

A personal contract with him. Not so long ago, that would've made my heart flutter. But now ...

(Why do you decide everything on your own? You could have consulted me a little ...)

A hazy feeling spread thorugh my chest. Ivy-san held my hand firmly.

Ivy: I know you may feel uncomfortable in your new environment, but I'll be there for you.

Ivy: I will make sure that you're protected and that you can work in a relaxed environment. You can rest assured.

Rina: Ivy-san, but I'm ...

Ivy: I know, Rina-chan. I love you. ... I don't want anyone to hurt you.

When he stared at me wistfully, I was a at a loss for words.

(I can tell by the look in his eyes that Ivy-san is really thinking of me.)

(All for me ... Then, is that right?)

Is it enough if I just follow his lead, pulled by his gentle hand?

Ivy: You love me, too, don't you? You told me you'd be there for me.

Rina: ... Yes. I love you. But ...*

Ivy: Then you'll understand, won't you?

Rina: Ah ...

He hugged me gently again. As soon as I was enveloped in the marine scent, my heart pounded and my chest heaved.

(... I'm sure this feeling isn't a lie. I'm sincerely thinking of Ivy-san.)

(But ... something feels different.)

Even when he hugged me like this, I didn't feel as happy as I did that night when we confessed our feelings for each other.

I like him, but I can't get rid of my anxiety ...

(Why do I feel so insecure? You take such good care of me ...)

It's as if my thoughts are covered in moss. I don't know my own mind.

(What am I supposed to do ...?)

He gently wrapped my body, which was trembling with confusion and anxiety.

Ivy: There's nothing to be afraid of. It's all right, everything's all right.

He clung to me lovingly, but kept his distance.

Ivy: And ... Rina-chan, I think you should move out of here.

Rina: What? Why ...

Ivy: It's too noisy here. You can't live peacefully with the other members, can you?

Ivy: And I need you to focus on supporting me.

Ivy: Because it makes me a little jealous to see you taking care of the others ...

Rina: Really?

Ivy: Yeah ... I guess I'm more jealous than I thought.

Rina: Ivy-san ...

Ivy: But I don't want to leave you, so I think it would be better if we moved into the same apartment.*

Ivy: That way, I can see you whenever I want.

Ivy: As soon as a room becomes available, we will make arrangements to move in. Of course, I'll pay the rent.

I couldn't think straight and couldn't respond to his suggestions.

Still, Ivy-san's eyes sparkled as he talked about our future life together.

Ivy: I will wake you up every morning. If I come home early, we'll have dinner together.

Ivy: It would be nice to do some walking together at night, like we did before. ... Oh, I'm looking forward to it.

He laughed, looking really happy.

Ivy: ... I can't wait. I want you all to myself..

Ivy: I'll try to find a new apartment as soon as I can. ... The truth is, I don't want anyone else anywhere near you, not even a little bit.

Rina: Eh, that's a bit ...

Ivy: I told you, didn't I? I'm a jealous man.

Ivy: The members of exe, or Gem, nor the guys at the office. I don't want anyone to see you.

Ivy: I can't bear it to think of you smiling at someone other than me while I'm gone ...

Rina: Ivy-san ...

I looked up at his face, aghast, as he expressed his thoughts and feelings in anguish.

Ivy: ... Hey, Rina-chan. Please don't see other men.

Ivy: Don't leave this room until I get back from work.

Rina: !? I-I can't do that ... no matter how much Ivy-san asks me.

(Because then it's like ...)

He stared at me in amazement ... and chuckled.

Ivy: I'm kidding. That's just like being locked up.

Rina: ... Right.

But there was danger in his eyes now that couldn't be called a joke.

Ivy: Don't be so anxious. I won't do anything you won't like. But ...

Ivy: I can't lock you in, but I'll put a foot shackle or something on you.

Rina: Huh ... ah!

... With a low guttural sound, I was pushed down on the sofa.

It was so sudden it caught me by surprise, and caused my body to stiffen.

He opened my collar and brought his lips to my now exposed skin ... and sucked hard.

Rina: Nng ...!

Ivy: ... You're sensitive. And your skin is so white, so you've got a nice mark on you.*

Rina: W-what are you doing?

Ivy: It's a hickey. Over here.

After the soft sensation of his lips, they sucked hard.

Rina: Ah.

When I wept, his arms held me around my waist and restrained me from moving.

Rina: Ivy-san, please don't do this ...

Ivy: No, stay still.

While sweetly chastising me, he carved his marks without mercy.

Hickeys were repeatedly and obsessively place on my neck, collarbone ... and anywhere else my skin was visible.

My body shook with tears in my eyes at the painful stimulation.

Ivy: Fufu, I guess you can't go out in public anymore.

Rina: ... Why are you doing this?

Ivy: Because I love you.

Rina: !

Ivy: You love me too, right? Then you'll accept me, won't you?

Rina: That's ...

I couldn't deny it, because even after this treatment, my heart was beating wildly.

Every time he touched me, my body and mind trembled uncontrollably.

(This is crazy. It's probably not a good thing ... but I can't let it go.)

Ivy: I'm glad you accepted me. We're going to be together forever. I'll do anything for you ...

Ivy: I love you, Rina.*

I couldn't respond to his smile, which seemed to be utterly happy.

Note 1: Wow, he isn't even asking anymore.

Note 2: I just want to note here that Ivy actually used 'tsuki' which I translate as 'like', but 'love' fits him better, while Rina uses 'daitsuki' here, which basically means 'big like' aka love, so she really says love.

Note 3: ... You've been together for ... about a week? That's ... just wow, I'm completely at a loss for words here.

Note 4: Dead eyes Ivy unlocked.

Note 5: Three things. First, thanks Ivy for destroying my Note 2. Second, he skipped honofirics completely now, which is the most personal you can get in Japanese. Third, he used 'aishiteruyo' here, which is the most meaningful use of love. I'd normally use 'adore' in that case, but that's too gentle for the situation.

#morganatic idol #morudoru #morudoru ivy #resa translates something for once?

[talldecafcappuccino]

1, 21, 46, 50!

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?

I'm very proud of the dent I've made in my to-watch list! That being said, here's an attempt at a new to-watch list:

Platonic

???

Maybe The Americans...? (I just don't know if it's for me lol seems like it may be too violent/dark)

(This might be a good time to send me TV recommendations.)

21. What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

I love the Impressionists because I am a...basic bitch lol. But Monet is a forever fave and I always spend a good amount of time in front of the The Portal of Rouen Cathedral in Morning Light at The Getty (as well as all the Degas just across from it). Toulouse-Lautrec's work is also up there because I'm fascinated by the intersection of art and commercial posters/marketing/advertising.

But my nerdiest moment is probably stumbling upon Magritte's Ceci n'est pas une pipe in real life at LACMA 🥰 It's quite small, but my reaction was not.

In conclusion, my faves are Impressionism/Post-Impressionism, Surrealism, and uh the very broad concept of Contemporary Art (If you're ever in Los Angeles, The Broad is a great "new" addition to the city with a fantastic Contemporary collection.)

46. What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?

I answered this one here :)

50. Describe your perfect sleeping conditions

Ice, ice baby!! I have a cooling fan and a cooling mattress and bamboo sheets to keep things cold lmao. Weighted blanket, black out curtains, and a touch of white noise is *chef's kiss*

I am the dictionary definition of a high-maintenance sleeper with my eye mask and everything. I'm literally this close to buying mouth tape so I can transcend to the highest level of sleep

#imlorelai #ask game #thank you!!

[for-dramas-sake]

The Starry Love ep 39, 40 (finale) thoughts

Cute fireworks date for the Immortal couple! A quiet moment to relax and unwind…and Yetan is unloading her problems on her husband. At least he takes it with stride and like any romantic partner gives her a new nickname.

Yes for Yetan for moving on. She's sad but doesn't want to stay in grief forever. Thank goodness for family and friends to bring her back and help her move on.

Did I guess correctly? Does Haichou like Sushui?! (excited face)

Why is it so important for Suzhi to admit that she's the plant that Qingheng watered years ago? Did he fall in love with this plant? I think it's kinda funny and sad he's so set on being right about this when it's kind of a non-issue. That's why I don't really like these two. They had some cute moments, but my heart is not set on them.

When a girl tells you 'no' multiple times, take the hint, Qingheng, and walk away. There are other girls in 4 realms.

Poor Chaofeng. He is so desperate to get his wife back. He is talking to the stick and calling it Qingkui. This dude misses his wife so much!

Is it just me or is Suzhi acting a bit sus? What is she planning? I said a few episodes back I didn't trust her! It took some time for that shadiness to take form.

Suzhi has gone full crazy and wants to take down the world because the world treated her wrongly. Geez, pulling the victim card again? Did you have to pull Yetan into your crazy?

Things are happening in the 4 realms again! Oh no, not things! Like stands, trees and whatnots falling over and cracks appearing the ground. Things!

Oh no! Qingkui shows Yetan the truth of the Sacred Tree and the Twin Flowers AND THEN Yetan has flashbacks to Youqin sealing the Guixu seal and saving everyone. Bad news!

Yetan sacrificed herself for the 4 realms. Everyone is crying including me. Qingkui gave her life for her sisters and then Yetan gave her life for everyone else. It's too sad. I saw this coming and yet my heart is still broken.

(insert mini rant about the stupid ADVERTISEMENTS in the saddest moments in the show)

Then Yetan has the most sad pep talk with Youqin. The heck! He's bawling and she's crying. Not the way I wanted these two to end.

In the midst of our sadness, here comes Wudai! Yay! And the way he comforts Chaofeng! Hilarious but I'm not laughing just yet. Still sad.

I can't hold my anger at the Immortal Emperor. He's a crappy dad and a crappy emperor, but he's apologizing and I do love second chances. And he's giving the throne to Qingheng! I approve! The boy needs recognition for his hardwork. Good boy!

Qingheng, let Suzhi go. For the love of pete, please! Coriander tastes like soap anyways.

Yay! The Void gang is back together and is in a better mood. Anytime when Haichou can be sassy I'm happy.

And just like that Dongqiu is rebuilt. That was really fast.

Rapid fire couples getting together! Here we go: Ziwu is married to Di Lanjue and she's pregnant! Yay! Haichou and Sushui are now… a thing. And Luoluo finally got Wudai! They're so happy! I'm so happy!

We did not get enough of the Beastie Queen! She was amazing and I wanted more of her! And her, her Beastie King and the twins' father hanging out was not the trio I had imagined but now I wish I had more of.

The boys waited and gave their blood for their wives. And they grew a tree. I'm crying again. I was so hoping for the flowers to become humans again, but instead we get the tree.

I'm not still not over it! Extra scene where the girls come back, please!

Awesome show. 10 out of 10.

I have thoughts (written as the show is going on) for all of the episodes. A lot of them are about how much I love Youqin and Yetan. They were adorable.

37, 38 / 35, 36 / 33, 34 / 31, 32 / 29,30 / 27,28 / 25,26 / 23, 24 / 21, 22 / 19, 20 / 17,18 / 15,16 / 13,14 / 11, 12 / 9, 10 / 7, 8 / 5, 6 / 3, 4 / 1, 2

#landy li #chen xingxu #the starry love #cdrama #chinese drama #does anyone care what i think? oh well

[pauliesshoredom]

~Babe~

Pt.2 of the series

[Buzz from Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge fluff SFW]

POV:1st person

Backround: It's date time! And......I'm stressed

I had anxiety all day about the movie with Buzz. My heart pounding out of my chest when I came in sight of The Chill Factor. Honestly I attempted to avoid it at all costs because I didn't want him to see how fidgety I was. I was too focused on "Is what I have on good enough?" "Do I look ok?" "I mean he never specifically said it was a DATE...maybe I'm overthinking it......"

Around 5:15 I started my way towards the Fountain in the center of the mall. I didn't really find anything I wanted ,but I took so long in one shop I didn't get to see that many of them. This place is just so huge I'm not used to it.

Before I sat by the fountain I did a quick hair check in the nearby bathroom and ate a handful of mints I keep in my bag *upon the occasion* you never know...

I walked up to the fountain and take a seat on the edge of it watching as kids on the other sides would ask there parents for coins to toss in for wishes. They're so funny to watch pout when they don't get their way.

I sat and began looking at my watch every few seconds. Each second ran by slower than the last.....5:21... .....

5:22.......it felt like lava was burning me up with anticipation.....5:23 ....I start to stare off in the distance with my worries and loose track of time. I realize and quickly snap my eyes towards my wrist 5:29.....

Anytime now...maybe he's pranking me or something,but that's just not Buzz....

All of a sudden, I feel an arm wrap around me softly and say with a loving tone "Hey babe,you ready to get outta here?"

My whole body jolts and I almost would have fallen if not for his hold of me.

"Whoa-hey hey its just me,I didnt mean to scare you"

I playfully slap his chest with a grin,

"Dont do that shit Buzz,gave me a heart attack!"

"Haha s-orryyy" he mocked me with a whiny tone.

"ShuUsh"

"Stop being cute and lets go.The next screening is in 30, we should be able to catch it if we go now"

"I've been wanting to see this for forever! I saw it advertised in the papers but I didnt know it was out yet"

We carried on with our conversation out the door.

He opened the car door for me ...I've never seen him this gentle. I mean Buzz has never been the most charming guy to some,but to me he always had this kind demeanor. It seems in an instant he turned from the quirky dork I know to the most charming, considerate, and calm person I've ever seen.

Buzz gets in and he let's me put the radio on where I want it. We cruise and listen to music all the way until we arrive at the theater.

As we head in,Buzz grabs a bunch of popcorn and candies and sodas to gorge on,and take our seats at the back of the screening room.We whisper and tease one another until the movie abruptly begins. We watch and we laugh until our sides hurt we're in tears.

About mid way through I get freezing cold,and chills run all over me. Buzz had been looking at me every few seconds to see if I was enjoying myself and he had noticed even before I did. He quickly grabbed his pinned and patched denim jacket off of the back of his seat and layered it over me like a blanket before I could say anything. I pulled it closer and as I do,a wave of vanilla patchouli and sea breeze engulfs me and my whole body heats up with a flush. It made me feel *safe* and the more comfortable I got the closer I got to him.

He definitely noticed,because I heard him giggle to himself quietly as he moved ever so close to me. I get kind of nervous but I don't back away,I can't.

Despite all my nerves telling me otherwise,I went for it. Yet unsure, I softly layed my head on his shoulder ,particularly expecting him to move me.He actually wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in closer to him as he lays his head on top of mine. We stay like that for a while and then Buzz slowly moves his hand from behind and inches his hand to mine and slightly touches the tips of my fingers to ask permission to hold my hand.Still laying our heads on one another I meet him half way and we softly held one another until we fell asleep. I usually have dreams when I sleep but with him I have a quiet mind and I'm able to completely relax myself . I feel totally at ease and I've never been able to sleep next to someone, so this is foreign to me.

We were woken up by the end credits music. We both nuzzled into one another in resentment of the rude awakening and stretched from being crunched up to one another for a long time.

His nose crinckles and his eyes squint as he says in a yawn "shit-its over?"

"Hm?I guess so.."

He laughs pitifully."Dammit you missed the end,I'm sorry"

"I enjoyed laying with you more than I enjoyed the movie,I think I'd rather have that than anything"

He just stared at me wide eyed for a moment,not sure of what to say or do or even think. Buzz's face went crimson .

I began to panic and think to myself

*Oh shit..Did I come off too strong?*

[To be continued]

Yes I know it was short but it's gonna have parts to it(gotta build some anticipation)😌✨️

#encino man #pauly shore #son in law #90s aesthetic #if i had a time machine... #nostalgia #90s comedy #phantom of the mall: eric's revenge #90s crush #90s vibes #18again #pauly shore edits #pauly does dallas #totally pauly #90s mtv #comedy

[caribouv]

Conspicuous consumption is about buying things not for their utility/function, but more to show off your own status and wealth.

It's people with the new Iphone 5000 while the stupid ass Android 11 is just as good and 80% cheaper. Simple Forever 21 bag just as good as a Louis Vuitton bag and, probably, 1500x cheaper.

There's a marketing/brainwash layer to it as well. That every ad you see, social media, celebrity endorsement, other aspirational bullshit encourages it to dumb degrees. So add the concept of "keeping up with the Jones" with high does of being pathetic on display for all to see.

LOOK HOW THE ADVERTISERS TRICKED ME. LOOK AT SEE MY STUPIDITY. GAZE UPON MY PLASTIC TRINKETS BUT DO NOT LOOK AT MY CREDIT CARD DEBT!

#politics

[thesecretattic]

Mannat from 31st Dec, 2015

Year 2015-2016 was the first & last new year I have ever celebrated I currently have high fever rn so I can’t type much again I wish I had someone to talk to… maybe another loner like me, cuz all others are having plans for tonight. So all my teens I was bullied and it went to so much extent that the geyser bursted and our bathroom caught fire twice (I’m sure you’ve read that) Anyway they would bully me on bbm but as a 15-16 year old I was like we are too old for all this… cuz they were bigger anyway but in actual sense it was indeed bullying and very toxic. On new years too I would get tortured with all sorts of texts, as a final resort I was told to lie and tell them I was celebrating NYE with new friends but one of them saw me running my daily errands so they started spamming me with more scathing messages such as “Go celebrate with your imaginary friends you forever loner” my childhood best friend would ask them to circulate this phrase repeatedly “A girl who can never have a best friend” anyway she did that cuz she had her older brother’s support who was again 7 yrs older than me and he was very intimidating, she used his help to turn everyone against me and make sure they would boycott me cuz i was on friendly terms with everyone and I wouldn’t back bich about them like her (she had that habit, she would even comment on people’s appearance and weight) she was very materialistic and she came to India like a spoilt brat from Dubai, she would shun and disparage all Indians that was her sole motto when they shifted here and since me and my brother were younger she would tried doing that with us too but as a next door neighbour and same bench partner at school she was in for a shock. Everyone at school believed I was some NRI from USA and someone started spreading those rumours in my new school as well cuz I was always that well versed and I would come up with all those ideas and thoughts which were prevalent only there (even when someone saw my work a few years ago like when I was 21-22 they said I couldn’t believe it was made in India it’s too sophisticated for here) so in school everyone would say you’re too classy all ur high profile words will go bouncers… you’ve recently come from US right? Etc etc. They weren’t being mean they would just start joking after that. I had a good circle till a certain age but then they started shuffling which I think is really wrong especially when there’s a lot of groupism cuz some ppl stick together and some don’t. They thought I’d recently shifted, me and my bro were used to buying imported stuff and we knew all the places where we would get them for cheap and we knew a lot of other things which she couldn’t handle, she almost challenged a 7 year old to show her prowess in Hollywood movies/trivia that too even adult ones while playing dumb charades.

We didn’t bother fighting or arguing we would let her win… she was always competitive and she would get jealous of my inexpensive fancy stuff even though she would get a lot of things from Dubai (because choice matters more) anyway she went extreme after growing up, my school had to be changed and I don’t want to get into more discussion but she’s the reason why I don’t have any friends. I also learnt about racism from a very early age that too within India, sorry she never considered herself an Indian. I once tried showing her Rihanna in my fav Magazine but she couldn’t take it so she flung it across the room and she thought I was good at fashion because of those mags. Nope! wrong, I would select my own clothes even as a toddler I’ve shared this before like Raven from that’s so Raven it was very relatable when she said that in one of her episodes, all other parents would ask for the same stuff when they would see my clothes on the cash counter. I started reading those magazines out of interest cuz I always loved fashion and I knew maximum items listed there were paid advertisements. As a 12 year old (I was a bit sassy) I would be like “All paid… all paid even the Chanel Sunglasses by Delhi Vasant Kunj store” I can’t write much there’s a lot to share haha funny stories too, she started getting magazines just to compete with me and she would even compare home appliances (show me a kid who’s interested in all that) next she would ask me what career I would like to pursue just to go around and tell everyone she wanted to take up that as well… she then started getting extreme, even now she is the first to copy trends and stuff cuz she thinks that is what I do even though she hasn’t seen me in recent years, Karma: I was an epicurean I loved trying out different cuisines so she would always get jealous whenever I would go out even though she knew I would cry a lot of tears before leaving due to my family eventually she took away all my friends and even the little bit of happiness I had on my previous childhood birthdays (I last celebrated the 15th one or so) and I went on dating apps to socialise cuz girls are very jealous and hostile in India now I’ve realised even guys have a very poor mentality and she too had those traits even if she was from Dubai anyway I went there and got bed ridden and she got her wish I STOPPED going out to restaurants and stuff and she would then POST her own restaurant and food images OBSESSIVELY and then Karma struck back to her and we had Covid when NO ONE WAS ALLOWED to go out anymore but even during cov times she tortured me and she dragged one of her friends to whichever cafe was open during lockdown just to share images. When I wrote my previous book and published it (cover editing layout typesetting website whatever I could manage or do) she couldn’t take it so she created a fake writer’s acc with all those previous society’s friends and came there to mock and harass me. Even now she copies all these stupid trends cuz she thinks I might be doing that, the world is currently a fashion disaster and no offence so are you. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s new year the way she ruined mine I hope she is not reading this. Anyway, I could go on for hours, I actually haven’t shared the dark side of this story, there’s a lot more.

My hands are getting cold cuz I can’t type much. I have shared the following stories previously but all the other posts have now obsoleted them. Coming back to 2015 31st Dec I realised I wasn’t the only one who was crying in the car due to lack of friends, I saw an old uncle crying on the signal too cuz it was almost midnight and he wasn’t able to make any sale… he was selling party stuff. I was 20, someone in the car had cleanliness OCD back then so I couldn’t buy anything. I came up with an idea which led to a very unique resolution that year, I knew Harsh’s birthday was coming on 5th so I picked 3rd to like make this “Mannat” but of a different kind not where you tie threads, I’m sharing this cuz its a sweet memory and I hardly have such memories. Back then we wouldn’t get those Nutella snack packs consisting of biscuits and stuff☹️🥺😡 so I just got big jars of Nutella and I went to Carter Road… you would always find these little urchins there selling colouring books and stationary, they would even sometimes nag you to buy them something from those stalls. I once bought one of them some yogurt but the yogurt wala 😡😡😡 the reason I’m calling him that is because he was really bad he was just looking down upon that kid and that’s not because his height was small or he was unable to reach the counter, I had told him to give him whatever he liked… don’t treat them like that or I won’t even pay for my yogurt! I had already made the payment that’s why he was acting smart I was keeping a watch from outside 👀 It was some chappi employee btw what did he think of himself?

I went there on 3rd Jan hoping these kids would be around but looks like they were still decompressing from 31st bash or they were probably too smart to only come out on weekends, unfortunately Carter road was entirely empty that day… then I spotted one toddler coming from the opposite side, she crossed very fast cuz they are very adept at all these things, she came to me and she was just standing there cuz I don’t think she had even learnt how to talk she was too small like those Chucky dolls. I gave her the Nutella but I had to explain to her that it’s like chocolate cuz she was like I said too small to understand anything, I was afraid someone might snatch it from her so I kept a watch, but she went back properly to her mother and on her way there she opened it and tasted it (this was the fun part) no child would resist something like that. She tasted it then she hugged the jar like left right, I was like how cute 🥰 people rightly say Nutella is like happiness. She turned out to be smarter than I thought cuz she was holding it properly and she went straight to her mother. I was hoping he would get a good opportunity or tv show or whatever he wanted to do cuz it was like a Mannat an exchange of favours with God and it would’ve made 2 people happy or in fact more than 2, I was happy a few onlookers were happy… but God just wanted that thread???!! Since it was something sweet, he should’ve gotten a sweet role to play not toxic ajinomoto I will never have Maggi in my whole life (ref. 22nd Dec + posts) I’m feeling giddy like throwing up, happens when you have Maggi too. Bye. I can’t write further I’d already taken a few breaks in between.

- Zara Sauleh

[mjsmix]

What is True Beauty?

 “Never judge a book by its cover.” Thousands of people across the globe use this saying, telling us to not judge someone based just off a first glance, but yet we judge people we see so easily based on outdated and unrealistic views of beauty. We take every word we hear from the media, fashion labels, famous people, and cosmetic companies as gospel, and decide that no matter what we see as beautiful, they know better. Following the pattern of what these large companies deem to be ideal is what has obstructed our views for decades and I think that as a community we need to reexamine what we consider beautiful. I truly believe that beauty belongs to all of us, but we have just had blinders on and trained ourselves to think that we can always change something to be prettier. Makeup is something that has become a necessity in many people's lives and is making young girls think that their faces need to be altered for them to be accepted. Is that really the message we want to be spreading, or do we want to inspire change so that women and men of the future don’t have to put up with the impractical pressures we have today?

 For centuries putting on makeup had been a common practice. In ancient Egypt both women and men wore makeup, like eyeliner made from minerals, to help enhance their natural features. Ancient Chinese makeup presented women who masked their natural skin colour with white powder and bright red cheeks. Today we see some people who choose to not wear makeup every single day and use it only for special occasions, some that use it to enhance their natural features, and many who use it to cover their face because they have been convinced that their skin, nose, eyes, and mouth isn’t perfect enough. One positive side to makeup is that it has become a form of expression and art. There are television shows dedicated to showing the fun side of makeup, one example is the show ‘Glow Up’.  I personally am one of those people who chooses not to wear makeup on a daily basis but going through this course has shown me that makeup doesn’t just have to be restricting to us, it can allow us to show a more creative side and explore so many new ideas. We just have to be aware of how we are letting makeup affect how we view ourselves. Growing up in this crazy world I do see the appeal of taking the time to change my appearance because each day we are told by beauty companies that we are not good enough as we are. Every day we see advertisements for the newest lipstick, foundation, bronzer, and every other makeup product you can think of, and these ads are subtly planting the idea that we need to change our appearance to fit in. I think that it is crazy that we can’t ever catch a break from hearing about what could make us more appealing in strangers' eyes.  

 Another aspect in which we try to catch others' interest is with how we choose to stye ourselves. Again, every year brings new trends, and we can especially see this in fashion.  We tend to not dress how we want to anymore we just follow whatever is in for that brief moment. I am a big believer that the way you dress does send across a message about who you are; and fashion is a way that even the quietest of people are able to become bold, but I have noticed that we have lost the part about dressing for ourselves and now have a bigger focus on fitting in with the trends. Many trends are based on body type and disclude millions of people across the world just because they don’t fit into unrealistic and unattainable bodies. Big companies in fashion have a hard time realizing this fact. On most high fashion runways, we see a certain body type, skinny. We see that even in smaller brands like Forever 21, Zara, and Aritzia being a small size is encouraged as they don’t hold larger sizes for people with plus size bodies. Many fashion companies have become stuck on the idea that to look good you have to be skinny, that is the only thing that they will promote on their websites and in campaigns. In my opinion, the fashion industry is one of the biggest influences on self-body image.

 The media is another major influence on people's opinion of beauty. Every year Peoples magazine declares someone famous as the “sexiest man alive.” The media is directly telling us that this one specific person is the ideal for men and that if you don’t look like him, well you better get to work, and then the next year it changes again, and this cycle just continues to repeat itself. Things like this are what make us feel insecure and give people issues like body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and other body image disorders. Many times, we look to celebrities for guidance on how we should look because they are famous, so of course they would know best. Could you tell I was rolling my eyes while writing that sentence? People like Kim Kardashian and her family have become icons in our society, people stalking their social media every day wondering what they could change to be more like this family. Even though these people that we are idolizing have been caught photoshopping and altering their bodies. Why do we follow beauty standards from people who are changing themselves to become something unachievable? Social media, magazines, billboards, and even music have become things that put us down for not looking a certain way instead of praising us for individuality. We all have so much faith in everything put out in the media, but we need to ask ourselves, is this information helpful or just harmful?  

 As we have continued throughout time, you would think that we could have learned how to be more accepting of each other and our unique beauty, but to me it seems that as time has gone on, we have only become more critical. Our views on beauty have been obscured and cloudy and I hope that one day soon we will celebrate the diversity we see in the world instead of shaming people for not fitting our ludicrous beauty norms. I know that I also struggle in each one of these areas, I am a part of the issues that we see today, but I think that if we all make some adjustments in our thinking and acting toward beauty, we will finally be able to see that true beauty is in everyone.  

[wangxianficrecs]

Tips On Making A Fic Rec Blog

*Please reblog? This post is (ironically) not showing up in the tags*

These are just suggestions for a Nonny, so please remember that ymmv!

~*~

Start with a clear idea of what your blog will feature.

Different rec blogs focus on different things. Some are more about archiving/retrieval, some include tumblr fics and twitter threadfics along with ao3 fics. Some reblog other people’s rec posts alongside their own. You might want to run a blog that only recs fics suitable for minors, or only kink, or only fic from sites other than AO3, etc. You could focus on a single pairing, or all ships; a single show or multiple fandoms. It helps if you know your focus in advance, so that you can advertise yourself.

For example, my blog only recs stories that I’ve personally read (excepting clearly differentiated Follower Recs, Fic Finders and Mood For posts). My focus is on adding my own comments/summary and my own tags to each rec, because that is what matters to me when I’m selecting a fic. (My cover graphics get attention, and they’re tremendously fun to do, which is why they’re there—I appreciate visuals!—but it’s a huge time commitment, which is probably why no one else does it.)

~*~

Keep it Streamlined

I would suggest that you not use your rec blog to just reblog random fan content (art, gifs, meta, etc.), personal stuff, current events, etc. Save that for another, messier blog. The more concise your offering is, the more people will be willing to follow it. But that’s entirely up to you.

~*~

*Always assume the author will read your rec/bookmark*

Fandom is actually a small world. Be kind and stay positive. Please don’t say things like, The story was great but the grammar/characterization was terrible. Just. Don’t. It’s so harmful. Authors do this for free, and don’t deserve to be stripped raw in public because you want to write a critical review. (This goes for your AO3 bookmarks, too, which are public by default and ALWAYS cruised by the authors.)

~*~

Tag Page - make one!

One of the most important things about running a useful fic rec blog is archiving, which means you should create a tag page (here’s a how to). Find other people’s tag pages to use as a guide, so you’re not overwhelmed by categories. I’ve used the very well-organized wheredidhiseyebrowsgo and mdzs-fic to help me figure out the best way to categorize themes, tropes, etc.

~*~

Tag Your Posts

Only the first 5 tags will show up in public tag feeds (for example, if someone tracks #wangxian, and you use that tag, they’ll see your post on their dash feed even if they aren’t following you). So pick your first 5 tags very carefully, because that’s how people are going to discover your posts. Pick tags that are popular and common, so that you’re seen.

Only the first 20 tags will show up in a dashboard search, so tags 21- ∞ are only useful within your own blog. (Actually, tags might stop at 30, these days, I’ve been cut off a few times when I go over.)

On your blog, ‘search’ and ‘tagged’ will find different posts even if all of them have your term in the tags. So when you’re making your tag page, try both of them on for size and then pick the one that pulls up the most/best options. (I usually use ‘search’.) [Example: https://wangxianficrecs.tumblr.com/tagged/3zun vs https://wangxianficrecs.tumblr.com/search/3zun]

Be consistent! Don’t tag wangxian one time and lan zhan/wei ying the next, for example, or fox!wwx and later use fox wei wuxian. You’ve only got maybe 30 tags to work with, and one tag page!

The tumblr censor-bot will often render your posts invisible to all but your followers, so be careful what you put in tags. *cough* sex acts *cough* Tags that have set off the censor-bot: #prostate exam, #role reversal, #virgin, #explicit. (ETA: this post is actually invisible to searches, probably because of this very paragraph. Sigh.) As you can see, the list is puritanical along with occasionally being simply baffling. Check your post once you’ve posted by clicking on one of the first 5 tags to see if it shows up. If it doesn’t, no one can find it except your followers, so start eliminating any tags or text you think might offend a conservative granny… it’ll show up eventually. Hopefully. Maybe.

~*~

Tumblr Limitations

Tumblr tag searches only pull up the last 200 posts with that tag. Do with that what you will. (My blog has nearly 700 recs at this point, so the common tags, like ‘wangxian’, will only pull up the recent posts.)

Tumblr will sometimes just… remove your links. I haven’t figured out a pattern, it’ll just take some out randomly from here and there. You are limited to only 200 links total (soon to be only 100 😟). So be aware.

Sometimes your posts won’t show up in searches or tag feeds for no discernable reason. If you don’t see an obvious culprit (like the word ‘prostate’), just attribute it to chaotic coding nonsense and decide whether you want to re-post (not reblog) a day or so later to see if that works better.

On your dashboard, a ‘search’ will sort through titles, some content, and tags 1-20 —whereas ‘tagged’ only covers the first 5 tags.

~*~

Searches on AO3 vs. Tumblr

AO3 has a MUCH more robust search feature, and it’ll pull up so much more than your tag page on Tumblr... due to Tumblr’s limitations, not your own as an archivist. So if you keep your AO3 bookmarks in order, you can direct followers to search those if they need more granular or complete searches.

AO3 Collections is a fabulous feature—mine is WangxianFicRecs. You can make one for your rec posts so that you and others can select and exclude multiple tags at a time. I suggest you just do a bookmarks collection rather than a works collection, because the latter requires the authors to approve their inclusion, while the former is something you control completely. @ao3commentoftheday has helpful posts on #How To AO3.

One last thing about AO3 bookmarks. This being a fandom where many authors get bullied out, I've begun adding the fic title & author to my bookmarks, so I can still find it once a work has been hidden or deleted. I also download PDFs of each work I rec, so that it doesn't vanish forever. (I don't make them publicly available, but I will share them on an individual basis unless the author asks me not to.)

~*~

These are things I’ve worked out over the entire past year, so don’t get overwhelmed, you don’t have to do all (or any) of this, and certainly not all at once.

I hope this helps, good luck, and have fun!

~ mojo

P.S. I don’t have a clue how tag pages work on mobile, since I don’t use mobile for any of this. I think it sucks, though?

[I posted this once before, here.]

#make your own rec blog #how to make a rec blog #fic rec blog #how to #tips for making a fic rec blog #fic recs #how to tumblr #wangxian fic recs #fic rec guide

[bokubonk]

take two

content: fluff

warnings: hurt/comfort, slight angst, mentions of break up

characters: timeskip!Semi x moviestar!reader

date: 04/07/21

word count: 1.2k+

Semi glared up at the flashing lights of the city through his rain-soaked bangs. He squinted his eyes at the bright billboards, his gaze widening when he stumbled across a picture of you.

It was an advertisement for your newest movie, one he was looking forward to watching. While it had been months since the two of you broke up due to your busy schedules, the two of you were still on good terms and he would never give up a chance to watch you do what you love, knowing how great you were at acting.

Despite both of your occupations being the reason for your break up, the two of you continued to support each other with you attending all of his shows despite the risk of being discovered by any of your fans, all of whom were disappointed to hear of the split of their favorite celebrity couple.

He couldn’t help the smile that split his face at the sight of you. You were beautiful and the distance between him and the advertisement only reminded him how far away you were. 

You weren’t going to be there to greet him when he came home and the thought of your absence in his life only made the lump in his throat grow. 

Semi brushed a hand through his wet hair, a shiver wracking his body as the rain continued pouring down. He had forgotten to bring an umbrella and he cursed himself for never remembering to check the weather forecast before leaving the house. His clothes clung to his skin and he knew if he didn’t get home fast, he would surely come down with a fever. Yet, he couldn’t move his feet. 

His gaze was still locked on the billboard and he wanted more than anything to see you, but what could he do now that the two of you had broken up?

It wasn’t as though he was oblivious to all the gossip in the news about you finding someone new. He scowled when he remembered the picture of you in the cafe with your hand on your date’s shoulder, your head tilted back as you laughed. 

He clenched his fists, his chest aching. 

Why had he ever let you go?

Looking back on it now, he realized just how little effort he put in to maintain your relationship. He recalled all the nights you texted him, asking him to come home early so you could spend some time together that he ignored just for a few extra minutes at practice. 

Why had he taken you for granted?

Why did he ever think you were going to wait for him forever, when it was clear you deserved so much more than what he had to offer?

A horn honking knocked him out of his thoughts and he glanced around, realizing he had stopped in the middle of the cross walk and had been holding up traffic. He mumbled a few apologies and gave a slight bow to all the cars waiting for him before stumbling onto the sidewalk.

His shoes were soaked but at this point, it didn’t matter to him. All that was on his mind was you and the crushing fear that he had lost the one good thing in his life.

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the apartment the two of you once shared, his fist pounding on the door as he struggled to regain his breath. 

Semi was sure he looked far from his best but right now, the only thing he cared about was making sure it wasn’t too late. He wasn’t even sure you were home yet but he knew he was desperate enough to wait even if you weren’t. You meant more to him than the risk of getting sick and if he had to sit in the rain to prove how much you meant to him, he would. 

Still, he wasn’t sure what to say and all that came out of his mouth when you opened the door was a breathy “hi”.

Your eyes widened in surprise and you rushed to get him a towel, pulling him into the apartment, “Eita, what are you doing here? And why are you soaking wet? Have you been standing out there the entire time? You know you’re going to get sick.”

You placed a towel onto the couch and pushed him down so you could better reach his head, all while chastising him about how forgetful he is. His eyes softened as he listened to you fuss over him, standing between his legs and wringing out his hair with a towel. Your brows were furrowed and your lips were pursed and you were in your pajamas and yet he found you more beautiful than ever. 

“Y/n,” he murmured, the tenderness in his voice bringing your attention to what he had to say. He grasped your wrists, stopping your movements and for a second you wondered if the look in his eyes meant something more. 

You cleared your throat, nervous by the intensity of his gaze. “What is it?”

“Do I still have a chance?” his grip on your wrists tightened, his heart beating out of his chest. He wasn’t sure what he expected your answer to be but he knew if you did reject him, it would only be his punishment for taking you for granted. 

“Why now?” you questioned, “It’s been months since we broke up, why are you asking me this now?”

“I thought you deserved better than me. I could see how much it hurt you every time I would come home late at night, too tired to spend any time with you and I knew you deserved someone who was willing to put in the effort. But now I realize how dumb I was to let you go.”

“I saw the pictures of you on that date and I realized I didn’t want anyone to treat you better when I could be the one for you. I want to put in the effort. I want it to be you I come home to every night. I want to be yours so please, tell me, can we take two?”

Silence stretched over the apartment and he stiffened, not sure if he was ready to hear your rejection.

“You’re an idiot,” you laughed, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “I only ever broke up with you because I thought I was holding you back. There was never anyone else but you.”

Semi paused, wondering if he had heard you right over the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears. It took a moment for the words to register and he didn’t hesitate to pull you into his lap and pepper kisses to your face before pulling back with a slight frown. “But, who were you on a date with then?”

“What date?” you quirked your eyebrow, unable to recall having gone out with anyone in the time that the two of you broke up. 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, showing you the picture of you clearly at a cafe sitting across from someone whose features were similar to your own.

“Eita, baby, that’s my cousin,” you giggled, “I’ve shown you pictures of them before.”

His brows furrowed, “Oh.”

“There’s been no one else, I promise,” you assured.

“Good, I’ll make sure it stays that way,” he smiled, cupping your cheeks and pulling you in for a kiss. 

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[inhale-fandoms-exhale-asdfghjkl]

Highlights of the 10umentary for me:

Brian’s special boy song

Everyone hugging. Most precious thing in the world! (I also wish I could hug everyone in Starkid)

Brian’s commentary about hugging. Actually Brian’s commentary in general is amazing.

Joey, Darren and Dylan hugging “combine your bodies to become one”

Nick trying to pretend like he’s not stressed is me always.

Brian talking to the guy in the next car who thinks he’s talking about Star Wars. “People in LA are so nice”

“Here’s Diane. Diiiiannne. She doesn’t care” a queen.

“Well I’m not finding a DAMN thing at forever 21” 😂

“Yeeah baby” - Nick is so precious I cannot.

Nick and Jon dancing at 9:42-9:45

Darren is such a sweetheart

Classic Darren missing his line 😂

“I haven’t seen a lot of people in a long time” Same Joe. Same.

Omg Britney on FaceTime 🥰

Bonnie gushing about seeing everyone again. Ahhh 🥰

Everyone jamming to “make the most of it”

Omg Carlos I forgot about he was here for this. How dare I? Ahhh 🥰

Carlos: “I decided to come incognito. You know I didn’t want anyone to recognise me on the street so um you know I tried not to advertise myself or what I do”

Also Carlos: drinks from a The Flash water bottle as he says this.

The chaoticness of Carlos and Britney trying to sing together on time on FaceTime

“Is this unusual for Starkid” “no this is how we do all our shows”. At least they’re aware on how chaotic they are.

Darren is literally seems like one of the most confident people ever so hearing him talk about how he’s intimidated by AJ and Clark is crazy to me but I love it. Again, he’s such a sweetheart.

DARREN AND DYLAN HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 20 YEARS? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? I live for this friendship.

Jaime crushing them vocals 😍 not that she ever doesn’t bc she’s a literal queen!

“That’s what happens when you lock a bunch of people in a rehearsal room and sing about bugs and... Batman”

Everyone gushing about Jim Povolo. As they should.

Just a random side point but Brian’s editing skills really don’t get enough credit. All of his bts videos have done consist of him picking one thing to just continuously play throughout the whole video which is probably just from his love of repeating any bit for as long as possible until he exhausts it. Like Nick going “I don’t have time for that”. My favourite instance of this is the AVSR bts with joe saying “it’s a funny scene” and the sunglasses over Corey. Anyway, excuse my rambling. I love Brian, okay.

Nick’s dancing montage is cinematic perfection. 24:30-25:20

Richard, lily and Jim forgetting to come in for going back to Hogwarts 😂

“We just have to make sure we know what we’re doing”. Has Starkid ever known what the hell they’re doing?

Tyler fucking up his line 😂🥰

“They’re doing Voldemort is going down? Nobody likes that song” 😂

“Did you guys hear it’s the 10 year reunion” “yeah Liam”

Joe having no fucking clue what his lines are and people just assuming he’s doing a bit is just classic Joe Walker.

“This feels like an awful fever dream. A nightmare” - Also known as the year 2020.

“For those that know me, I think I and other people make fun of me for being verbose but I’m very particular... especially when dealing with Starkid. I want it to be concise and genuine.... I haven’t been in a Starkid show in a long time so it’s nice to be able to be back” I stan a man whose aware of how extra he can be. Also have I mentioned he’s a sweetheart?

“Darren’s speech was too verbose. It has been cut down for time” Brian cutting like half the speech is so savage and I love it.

Everyone jamming out to tgwdlm is a mood

“Honestly, the Brant Chant is one of the most humiliating things that will and continues to happen in my life and the fact I already had to experience it once in this run is uh-” “I MISSED THE BRANT CHANT!?!” “It already happened” “FUCK”

“It’s consistently traumatising and a highlight for everyone else except me” poor Brant! 😂

“I think everyone just loves Brant and it happens naturally”. Same.

I saw Joe Walker Interlude come up on the screen and my first thought was “I don’t know what’s about to happen but I just know it’s gonna be great”

“Horrified audience members”

Darren recording and high-fiving everyone 🥰

“I remember very distinct first impressions of people and it’s mainly by what they eat” y’know, I might start doing this.

“Joey Richter showed up with a subway pizza and I was like you don’t do that”

Lauren Lopez pulled out over her purse just a sweet potato that was pre-cooked with no toppings. Just a shriveled pre-cooked potato” - she honestly sounds so traumatised from this 😂

Nick’s bee sting story 😂

Everyone else: admiring the fan art. Brian: “What the fuck?Where’s Superman/Junior/Flopsy?”

“YOU CANT PUT LUPIN IN IT!?” I’m sorry Brian, we all know that you’re characters are iconic.

“WHAT THE FUCK!? Oh I wasn’t in this one”

I don’t know why I laughed so hard at Darren in the background of Joey talking about his drink but it’s hilarious.

Joe having a five minute warm up song that no one else is allowed to participate in is just peak Joe.

“I cried last night but I won’t do it again” - aww I love you Nick 🥰

Meredith really is just a ball of sunshine isn’t she? I love her. I feel like I don’t talk about her enough.

“It’s been ten years and we finally learnt how to put on a show”

“What’s weird about how it’s been is how not weird it’s been. If that makes any sense” no it doesn’t Nick but we love you anyway.

This video is really just an AJ and Clark appreciation video and I am here for it.

The SKH version of to have a home is my fav version of it so I’m crying a little.

BONNNIIEEE!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

“Who knows, if America survives and the world is still habitable in the year 2029, maybe we’ll see you for the 20th” this made me laugh and cry

Liam’s got a phone call is such a bop honestly.

Also I love all the new starkids having no fucking clue about this song but just vibing with it anyway.

I literally love Starkid with my entire heart and I am so thankful for them releasing this bts finally because I needed it big time.

#starkid #starkid homecoming #10umentary #sk10 #avpm #avps #avpsy #mamd #starship #twisted #ani #trail to oregon #tgwdlm #black friday #firebringer #hmb

[elsanna-shenanigans]

August Contest Submission #18: The Concrete Rose

Words: ca. 5,500 Setting: mAU Lemon: No CW: Angst, brief Hansanna

October 12, 2019

From the second Elsa saw her roommate, she knew she would become her muse.

Douglas Academy of the Arts produced hundreds of graduates every year already with an astounding, artistic reputation. Anyone that had a future in the arts ran through Douglas Academy first. But that prestige came at a price, success at all costs meant that almost everyone was cold and cutthroat; no one was a classmate, everyone was competition.

It was a mantra that all the students bought into except for two people: Elsa and her roommate Anna. From a simple handshake and a peace offering in the form of a chocolate bar (“The vending machine accidentally gave me two, how lucky is that?!”), Anna stood out from everyone else in Elsa’s eyes.

They became quick friends despite how drastically different they were. Elsa was reserved and stayed in her head a lot, Anna loved people and spoke every thought that came to her. Elsa was constantly second-guessing her decisions and had a keen eye for details, Anna was more impulsive and loved seeing the bigger picture. Elsa was a sculptor who kept her works secret until they were finished, Anna was a dancer who would always post videos of her practicing for her latest performance.

The one thing they had in common was their need to support the other.

One day well into their first semester, Anna barged into Elsa’s room with a flyer that she’d gotten in almost all her classes: an advertisement for the 3-D Art Showcase in three weeks. “You’re doing this, right?” she asks, pushing the flyer in front of Elsa’s face. “You’re entering a thingie into the thing?”

Elsa plucked the flyer out of Anna’s hands and turned back around in her chair, “Not a chance. I heard first years get eaten alive at these showcases, I’ll wait until next year.”

“Oh come on! You’d kick so much ass if you entered something. Remember that clay canary you made me?” Anna pressed her palms against Elsa’s shoulders, which almost knocked the pencil out of the unexpecting sculptor’s hands.

Elsa shook her head, “That was different. I’d have to make like… something fancy and intricate if I want to even be considered for the showcase.”

“Well, can’t you at least try? Please?” Anna slid her hands down so she could wrap her arms around Elsa’s shoulders from behind. “I can help you just like you helped me while I was rehearsing my first interpretive dance.”

It took a while for Elsa to get used to Anna’s touchiness, but she learned to accept it. This was just another thing that added to Anna’s eclectic personality, and besides Elsa was a big fan of the rosemary body wash she was using. “Anna, all I did was press play on your speaker.”

“Which helped out a lot!” Anna assured her. “You know how much energy I could have wasted doing that myself?”

“… not a lot?”

“Just think about joining, okay? Knowing you, I bet you probably have like five ideas running through your head and when you pick one, I’ll do whatever I can to help turn that idea into something concrete.”

Well if thinking about it was all that Anna was asking her to do, then Elsa could do that. Less commitment that way. And she was right, of course, there were five ideas floating around in Elsa’s mind but none of them she could latch on to and say that that was the one to work on. “Alright fine,” she said after a dramatically heavy sigh, “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s my girl! Oh shit, I’m gonna be late for rehearsal!” Anna sprinted out of Elsa’s room to grab her dancing shoes. Before slamming their shared door shut, she said, “If you eat my spaghetti, I’ll kill you!”

November 5, 2019

There was something that Anna told her that day which stuck with Elsa much more than she thought it would.

Turning an idea into something concrete.

What if she sculpted something out of concrete? It was a near guarantee that a lot of the sculptors entering the showcase would be using clay, recycled metals, or wood; using concrete would probably help her stand out and better her chances of being picked. After a researching how to make this work, and some choice words of encouragement and dancing from Anna, Elsa set to work getting everything she needed for her crazy idea.

There was still, of course, one glaring problem: What was she going to sculpt?

Her answer came to her during Anna’s first performance of the semester. It was an interpretive dance that told the story of a young gladiator fighting for the freedom of his sister who was enslaved by a vindictive landowner. Her ability to tell this story without words (not even in the song she chose) wowed the audience and inspired Elsa as she waited for every beat of the story she’d seen Anna tell maybe a hundred times in their dorm.

Elsa decided to recreate one of the poses Anna did where she jumped in the air and punched her arm out like she was thrusting a spear into an unseen adversary. It was a painstaking process that tested her dexterity and her patience even more so, she shut herself in her room until it was finished. In the end, the sculpture was much smaller than she wanted it to be because she underestimated how much concrete mix she actually needed. And a piece of Anna’s skirt chipped off because it refused to stick to the wire mesh. Still, overall she was very impressed with herself.

And so it seemed was the showcase committee, because she was given one of the last remaining spots on the showcase floor.

Elsa somehow found a way to keep Anna from seeing it beforehand, so when she went with her roommate to the showcase, her reaction was genuine.

Anna gasped, “Holy shit, is this me?! She’s so pretty!”

Everyone in the building looked at them with judgmental glares, especially the judges. Elsa didn’t mind all that much, she wasn’t expecting to take a ribbon home, this was more about proving she could hang with Douglas’ best and to thank Anna for supporting her these past few months.

“I ran out of time to add details to the face, so I kept it blank,” Elsa explained. “I hope it doesn’t look too creepy.”

Anna shook her head, “No, I love it! It’s like… it fits so much with Henry’s character, the gladiator I mean. He presents himself as this nobody that could be anybody, like Henry is just a faceless idea, but he stands for justice and integrity, which can speak to anyone.”

Elsa smiled, her heart fluttering from the feeling of being understood. “I’m glad you were able to see that. I think I’ll steal that explanation when the judges come over.”

“Fine, but if you win a ribbon then you’re buying me dinner. For believing in you and for being your muse.”

“Pssh, you are not my muse.” How in the world did Anna already know that?

Anna squeezed Elsa’s shoulders and smiled, her eyes seeing right past Elsa’s thin resistance. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Michaelangelo.”

The judges came around a few minutes later to ask her some questions and write notes on their clipboards. Anna wanted to talk her roommate up so badly but settled on providing moral support right next to Elsa as she answered the questions concisely and with the professionalism that got her into Douglas Academy in the first place.

She didn’t win a ribbon, but decided to take Anna out to dinner anyway.

December 26, 2019

“I think concrete should be your thing,” Anna said before taking another long sip of her hot chocolate.

“My thing?” Elsa asked.

“Yeah, like the thing that makes you stand out from everyone else. The thing you’re known for. Da Vinci had his inventions and paintings, Degas painted ballet dancers, you could be the concrete rose.”

Elsa chuckled, “Concrete rose? That sounds more like you than it sounds like me.”

Anna gasped, “Why Ms. Elsa, you best be careful or I might just take that as a compliment.”

“Uhh you should because it was.” Elsa gently kicked her foot forward to keep the front porch swinging. They drank their hot chocolates in silence, relishing in that post-Christmas bliss. Elsa’s family was always a little more dysfunctional around the holidays, but when Anna told her she’d be spending her Christmas in the dorms she knew that couldn’t happen. Her best friend deserved a real Christmas for the first time in forever.

When their mugs were empty, Anna spoke again, “Thank you for letting me come with you. I… maybe I would have felt a little lonelier this Christmas. And I’m happy that I’m not.”

“Anna, you’re my best friend- heck, you’re like the sister I never had. I can’t leave my sister hanging, you know?” The confession is so raw and unusual for Elsa that it doesn’t feel right coming from her lips at first, but the more this moment sat the better it felt.

She looked to Anna, her red cheeks were a sign that the cold was finally getting to her. “I had a lot of foster siblings growing up… none of them liked me all that much.”

“Well that’s their loss.”

“Thank you, Elsa. Really. Everything you do means a lot to me, I hope you know that.”

Elsa smiled and tapped her shoe against Anna’s, “Everything you do means a lot to me too.”

Anna brought the empty mug back to her lips. “So, if we’re sisters, does that mean I get to steal your clothes and burst into your room to tell you stupid nonsense?”

“You mean you don’t already do that now?” The force that Anna pushed her with almost sent Elsa off the porch swing.

October 21, 2020

Elsa and Anna complemented each other’s strengths in a way neither of them ever expected. The 3-D showcases happened four times a year, and Elsa entered every one of them with the support of Anna. There were also four major dance performances throughout the year, and Anna entered every one of them with Elsa’s support.

Anna had taken second place for interpretive dancing at the last competition, but Elsa was still looking for her first major win. She felt confident, however, in her entry for the upcoming showcase.

“I mean I love it of course, but it’s ambitious,” Anna said while looking over Elsa’s sketch. “How are you gonna carve out the bird and the cage at the same time?”

“I was thinking of making the cage and bird separate, and then putting them together,” Elsa answered. “If I get the dimensions right, I can hammer some nails underneath the cage so it stays put.”

“Hmm, alright well you sound like you know what you’re doing.” Anna handed back the sketch. “And I’m gonna support you a hundred percent. No matter what.”

“I know you will,” Elsa said while putting her arm around Anna’s shoulder. “… I think this is the one.”

“I think so too,” Anna said proudly. “And when you come back with a ribbon-”

“You’re buying me dinner.”

Anna gasped and wriggled out of her best friend’s arm, “Rude!”

Elsa rolled her eyes, “Oh please, half my budget is spent feeding you. I’m sure you can afford to buy me dinner one time.”

She saw the gears turning in Anna’s mind, trying to come up with a rebuttal, but in the end she groaned and said, “Fine, I’ll take your bum ass out for dinner, sis.”

Elsa worked harder than she ever had before, inspired once again from seeing Anna’s latest performance. It was a soliloquy in dance form, about a bird who’d spent their entire life on the move and in the hands of many owners, but never once being allowed out of its cage. It paralleled Anna’s life story: the foster child from New York who was only getting her first taste of freedom now. She paid special attention to the bird’s eyes, wanting them to emulate the longing and ambition she saw in her best friend.

The process resulted in a lot of tiny cuts and a couple of sleepless nights, but it was all worth it in the end. She won second place at the showcase.

True to her word, Anna took her out for dinner that very night on the condition that Elsa wear the obnoxiously huge, red ribbon. They had to stick it on her shirt with a safety pin. “Alright, where does Madame Second Place want to go for dinner?” Anna asked, dressed in an adorable skirt and blouse combo.

“I was kinda joking, you know?” Elsa said. “You don’t actually have to buy me dinner.”

“Oh please, you can’t get cold feet now. I mean you’re already wearing the ribbon, that’s like… I don’t know, it’s like when your high school prom date puts the corsage on you. It’s official, no backing out.”

Elsa raised an eyebrow, “What so you’re my prom date now?”

Anna pursed her lips, “Well maybe not for prom, it’s too late for that. But I’ll be your date if you want me to.”

That answer leaves Elsa speechless.

“Ooh, I know where we can go!” Anna added before Elsa could finish catching up to the millions of thoughts running through her mind. “There’s this really good Mexican place downtown. I heard they sell this burrito that’s the size of your forearm, and I have long forearms so I wanna see that. Sound good?”

Elsa blinked and said absently, “Yeah, let’s go.” They walked side by side to Anna’s car, all the while Elsa pretended she wasn’t seeing her best friend in a brand new light.

May 15, 2020

It’s a scary feeling to know that you’re in love with your best friend. Even scarier when you’ve considered them your sister for almost two years now. It’s like being strapped in to the world’s best roller coaster against your will. Sometimes it’s exhilarating and you think maybe this isn’t so bad, but most of the time you’re screaming and want to get off.

Elsa’s been on the same damn ride for months now and it hasn’t gotten any easier. But she’s accepted it, which is something she never expected.

All of Anna’s errant touches, her smiles and glances, and even just the way she says “we”… Elsa has second-guessed each and every single one of her behaviors. And yes, she would probably stop overthinking if she’d just talk to Anna but she doesn’t know how. It’s hard enough trying to have a regular conversation with her now, it’s nearly impossible approaching her with a talk about their feelings.

And even so, she’s accepted the fact that she’s fallen in love with her best friend. For the past two years, they’ve been nearly inseparable, there’s no one in the world she knows better or cares about more than Anna. Falling in love with her felt almost inevitable.

But did Anna feel the same way? Well, she’d find out soon.

For the last 3-D showcase of their second year, Elsa had been working on a particularly special project. It didn’t have to do specifically with Anna’s last performance, but it was dedicated to her nonetheless.

Rising from a slab of concrete, she sculpted out a finely detailed rose, complete with a realistic crack where the stem breaks out and defined petals spiraling into the rosebud. It represented Anna’s ability to grow and flourish from a life of a constantly uncertain home life and rough nights on the streets.

At the base of the concrete slab, she wrote ‘For Anna, for everything’. When Anna notices the inscription, that’s when Elsa would tell her how she feels.

She shut herself out from the world for a particularly long time; Anna only saw her when they were walking to classes together, and even then Elsa remained tight-lipped so as to not spoil the surprise. Her patience had to be rewarded, she figured, or else this would have all been for nothing.

When the showcase finally arrived, Elsa waited anxiously for Anna to show up. She said she would be running late because she needed to meet someone, but that was fine because it gave Elsa more time to figure out what she’d say to the judges. Which in turn helped keep her from pacing around the showcase floor like a lonely, lovesick puppy.

When the judges came, she defended the lack of complex expression and vibrancy of her piece by quoting Henry David Thoreau’s opinion on simplicity. And she covered the etching with her hand because that was one question she’d rather not answer just yet. At least not to them. The judges looked impressed with her answers and one of them even mentioned that she had a knack for giving life to her sculptures. The high from that compliment should have lasted her throughout the entire day, but it was shot down almost immediately.

When the judges left, she saw Anna walking towards her. But she wasn’t alone, she was with a guy.

And they were holding hands.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, I was waiting for this guy to get his fucking shoes on.” Anna patted the guy’s chest with a coy smile. He was tall, proper, and with fashionably thick sideburns. The way he wore his t-shirt and jeans looked awkward, as if he was ripped straight from a 19th century portrait and was forced to wear modern clothes to blend in.

“Hey in my defense, I didn’t know I was going to the showcase until you texted me like half an hour ago,” he said while wrapping her arm around Anna’s shoulders.

“Lies. And propaganda.” Anna turned to Elsa with a softer smile on her lips, which was just another hit to Elsa’s already bruising heart. “Again, I’m sorry I was late but I figured it was time for you two to meet. Elsa, this is Hans. We’ve been dating for a month now.”

A month?

A… a month.

Elsa’s doing her best to remain polite and cordial, but it’s hard when her entire body feels like it’s crumbling onto the floor. She extends a hand out anyway, wincing when Hans takes it with more strength than she’s expecting. “It-It’s nice to meet you, Hans. Anna’s lucky to have you around.” The words come out of her mouth like a rejected poison.

Anna talked some more, so did Hans, and maybe Elsa nodded and smiled when she needed to, but for the life of her she couldn’t tell you what the hell they talked about. When it came time for the… couple to examine Elsa’s sculpture, Anna beamed at her with that same pride that was on her face since day one and Hans said she did a good job. Elsa kept her hand over the inscription the entire time.

She won another second place ribbon. When Anna noticed the inscription, Elsa said it was a thank you for being a wonderful friend. Each word felt like pulling teeth.

September 4, 2020

They met at the campus coffee shop while Elsa was isolating herself. Ironically, Anna was going there to get a hot chocolate to surprise Elsa.

She brought Anna and Hans together.

It was a very lonely summer for Elsa. Since Hans lived in New Jersey, it wasn’t that hard for him to visit Anna whenever he wanted, which is exactly what he did. They spent almost every moment of the summer together, and while Elsa pretended to be happy with getting texts, the occasional phone call, and a surprise weekend visit from her best friend, none of it could stop the constant ache in her heart.

Move-in day for their third year was especially brutal, she unpacked absentmindedly while listening to Anna and Hans joke around and kiss when they thought she wasn’t looking. She tried all summer to let go of the feelings for Anna and to just be happy for her, but it felt like the more she tried, the more she held on.

“Alright, that’s the last box.” Anna wiped her hands on her jeans and looked at Elsa and then at Hans. “Let me just change out of this gross, sweaty shirt and we can get something to eat?”

“Of course, babe.” Hans kissed her and walked out of the girls’ dorm, Elsa finally let go of the breath she’d held since they started moving their stuff in.

“You’re coming with us, right?” Anna asked.

Elsa wasn’t expecting her to to talk to her, and she had to take a second for her mouth to catch up with her mind. “Uh no that’s okay,” she finally replied. “You two enjoy yourself, I want to unpack all of my stuff before I eat.”

Anna raised an eyebrow, “Are you sure? If you’re worried about being a third wheel, trust me it’s not gonna be like that.”

Elsa tapped her fingers on the stacked boxes in front of her. “No, I’m just not hungry yet. That’s all.”

“Well… alright, but I’ll bring you back some food and I won’t take no for an answer.” Anna peeled off her shirt and disappeared in her room to find a new one. From somewhere inside the room, she added, “We’ll hang out sometime soon okay? Just the two of us.”

October 1, 2020

'Sometime soon’ turned out to be nearly a month later. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but with the third year at Douglas being notoriously difficult, they needed to spend a little more time adjusting to the bigger workload and busier schedules. And any free time Anna did have was taken up by Hans…

Elsa continued to pretend to be okay, and she actually relished how busy their third year was going to be because it gave her something else to think about. A six-page essay on contour ate up time she was going to spend thinking about the sexual innuendo Hans was 'accidentally’ adding to him and Anna’s conversations.

The busy times couldn’t last forever, though, and Anna and Elsa finally found some time to spend together- just the two of them- one night on top of one of Douglas’ parking garages. It was a place they’d gone to many times just to get away from the staunch air of pressure and competition in every corner of every building underneath them. This was a place for them to breathe, a home away from a home away from home.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much lately,” Anna said, breaking the silence from their lack of conversation. “It’s just that this is the first relationship I’ve been in and… I don’t know, it’s exciting and new. Not that things aren’t like that with you, it’s just-”

“Anna, you don’t have to apologize. Whatever time I get to spend with you is just fine.” Elsa bites her tongue before she can say that she still wishes she had more time with Anna.

“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m neglecting you, that’s all.”

“Well, you’re not, so it’s okay. I’m okay.”

“Okay…” Anna scooted closer to her, their bare elbows touching made the nerves in Elsa’s arm tingle and send shockwaves through her entire body. “Sooooo, you want to know what I’m doing for my next performance? You know, so you can start figuring out what you’re gonna do for the showcase.”

Elsa looked away, “I don't… I think I’m gonna skip the showcase this time.” She wanted to say she was going to skip the showcase this year, but that would have set off too many alarms in Anna’s head. She could deal with the one alarm she saw going off behind her best friend’s eyes.

“How come?” she asked.

“It just looks like it’s gonna be a real busy year, and I think I need to focus on getting through it. Once I can do that, then I can start thinking about sculpting again.”

“I… see.” Anna looked out across the campus. “And that’s the only reason?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Elsa wondered if there was something she said, or some visible part of her full of pain that she’d forgotten to cover up.

Anna shrugged, “No reason. Just wondering.”

Elsa didn’t have it in her to pry, so she also went back to looking at the buzzing nightlife of Douglas Academy. With luck, they wouldn’t have to address this ever again.

November 30, 2020

Luck remained on Elsa’s side for nearly two months, and then they returned from Thanksgiving Break. Anna had declined her invitation to spend Thanksgiving with her, and instead she spent it with Hans’ family. Who, as it turned out, was exceptionally rich.

Anna spent a good hour gushing over their massive house with the hot tubs (plural) and rooms as big as their whole dorm, and then talked about all the people that were there for Thanksgiving dinner and how amazing the food was. Knowing Anna’s struggles, Elsa tried to remain supportive while she gushed over Hans and his family and his really nice house. And then she said something that should have remained a thought.

“Sounds like you dodged a bullet not joining me for Thanksgiving.”

Anna pounced on that out-of-character remark immediately. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Gosh, what could she say that wouldn’t sound passive-aggressive? Elsa decided on, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that. I’m really glad you had a good time on break.”

For a second, that looked like it would work. And then Anna closed her eyes and sighed, “Oh god… you don’t like Hans.”

Elsa didn’t say anything, which is the worst thing she could have said.

“Elsa, we’ve been going out for months now. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I…I guess I…”

Anna sighed and waved her hand, “Never mind, I guess it doesn’t matter. Look, I like you both so I don’t want things to feel awkward or whatever. What can I do to help? I want you to like Hans so that things don’t suck between us.”

There’s nothing Anna needed to do, this was a problem that Elsa had to deal with on her own. That’s what she wanted to say to her best friend. But instead, there was another disconnect between her brain and her mouth and she said something that was bound to make things worse, “You don’t even know why I don’t like him.”

Anna nodded, “You’re right. So why don't you like him?”

Elsa wrung her hands together, “Anna, we shouldn’t talk about this.”

“What? But you’re the one that brought it up.”

“I know, but it’s just not… this won’t end well.”

“Is this one of those things where the protective older sister hates every guy her sister dates and thinks that no one’s good enough for her?”

“No,” Elsa replied. And under her breath, she muttered, “I wish.”

“Elsa, we’re the only two people in your room. I heard that.” She scooted across the bed to get closer to Elsa, their fingers nearly touching were enough for Elsa to feel like her arm was on fire. “Just… tell me what’s wrong. Please?”

Though it felt like the wrong thing to do, Elsa pulled her hand away. “I don’t know if I can,” she replied. “Can we drop it please? For now?”

“… okay.”

December 13, 2020

This was the longest time Elsa and Anna had gone without talking to each other. Sure, they were polite and fake when Hans was hanging out in their dorm, and they still said good morning and whatnot to each other, but they hadn’t made an effort to really talk to each other in two weeks.

Knowing this was her fault, Elsa set out to craft an apology to Anna. After deciding on recreating the canary she made her during their first year, this time in concrete, she went to work quickly on creating the mesh outline for it. One night, during this process, she heard a knock on her door. A knock that could only belong to one person.

She took a deep breath and then opened her door. “Hey Anna,” she said far too generically.

“Do you love me?”

Elsa tensed up so much she almost tore her doorknob off. Any answer would have been a good one, but instead she remained frozen in silence.

“Hans and I had a fight and he said…well I mean he thought that… areyou in love with me?”

Still as a statue, much like the concrete rose Anna’s holding in her hand, Elsa somehow found her voice long enough to say, “Anna, I didn't…”

Anna nodded, and in the darkness of their shared loft Elsa could finally see that her best friend had been crying recently. “I should have known. I’m sorry.” She walked away, pressing the concrete rose closer to her chest, and disappeared into her room.

January 20, 2021

Though their relationship had hit an all-time low, Elsa felt it was wrong not going to Anna’s performance. She still very much wanted to support her best friend even if they still weren’t talking all that much. But Anna smiled at her the other day and that… gave Elsa hope somehow? Either way, it was enough to get her to stop being a coward and show up to the performance.

She arrived at the auditorium just in time to see Anna walk on to the stage, but not with enough time to find a seat. So she stood by the entrance awkwardly as the music began playing through the speakers. What conspired for the next five minutes was the most poignant expression of heartbreak and longing that Elsa had ever seen in dance form.

It started off as a simple ballroom dance, and though Anna had no partner you wouldn’t realize it in the way she moved. But her mystery partner continued to pull away no matter how many times Anna chased after them. When the partner disappeared, Anna continued to dance alone and while her moves were perfect and calculated, she let her posture slump with every break in the song. By the end, she’s nearly dragging herself along the floor hoping to make it to the end of the song, all the while reaching out for someone. Something. The song ends with her laying on the floor breathing heavily and the audience erupting in applause.

And for the first time in a very long time, Elsa felt a jolt of inspiration.

February 15, 2021

Elsa sat by the base of her sculpture. The judges had come to talk to her long ago and spectators were slowly trickling out of the building, but she couldn’t leave yet. In fact, she’d wait all night long for Anna if she had to. The note she left underneath Anna’s door even said so.

This had to be the fastest yet most detailed sculpture she’d ever created and there were no doubts as to what inspired her. Time continued to tick away, and Elsa continued to sit.

Finally, after an eternity, she saw the familiar silhouette of her best friend walking through the door. She was wearing the same skirt and blouse that made Elsa fall in love with her in the first place.

Quietly, Anna closed the gap until they were a couple of feet apart. “I got your note,” she said softly.

Elsa nodded, “I watched your performance.”

“Oh, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.”

“I was in the back of the auditorium. But it was beautiful, I’ve never seen anyone move like you do. I’ve never seen anyone express heartbreak like you did.” Elsa wrung her hands together, “I’m sorry if this is inappropriate, but did you and Hans…”

Anna nodded, “A couple of months ago, actually. But my performance, it… wasn’t about him.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No, it…” Anna took her first glimpse at Elsa’s sculpture and it completely threw her off. “Oh my god.”

Immortalized in concrete was Anna in a stunning ball gown, her face content while she swayed in the arms of her dance partner. Except unlike the gladiator sculpture, Anna’s partner was completely visible.

And it was Elsa.

“I know it’s a little forward, but it didn’t feel right having you dance alone,” Elsa replied. And with much less confidence, she added, “Is that okay?”

Anna looked at her, confusion settled on her face. But then that confusion chipped away slowly but surely until a beautiful smile was seen in its place. “It’s perfect,” Anna replied, “Y-you did it again.”

Elsa blushed, “Well, I do have a pretty wonderful muse.”

“Well, I think that muse owes you dinner. What do you say?” Anna reached out her hand, eyes telling her that this was what she wanted.

“She doesn’t owe me anything.” Elsa took her hand and a lovely, warm feeling enveloped her. “But I’d be glad to go with her.”

Anna squeezed her hand and said, “Then it’s a date.”

Elsa’s sculpture won first place that day.

#elsanna #submission #august 2021 contest #prompt: flowers

[lligkv]

what the world will look like when it’s over

Can’t Get You Out of My Head is the first Adam Curtis documentary I’ve seen. I gather it’s not the most successful demonstration of his method; it sounds like Hypernormalization or The Century of the Self are tighter in their construction, less effortful (count how many times Curtis says something like “But then it started to run out of control” in this one), and perhaps less frustrating in their narration. In the early episodes of this documentary in particular, it feels like Curtis is constantly presenting what’s being covered as the turn, the decisive shift in his narrative—the emergence of the American counterculture, the revolution of the “unit of One” led by Mao Zedong’s wife Jiang Qing to help her break the stalemate with the other revolutionaries in China into which Zedong had fallen in the 1960s, George Boole’s development of Boolean logic to describe human thought. And the whole thing feels longer and baggier than it needs to be. The early episodes devote much time to interesting individual narratives, like that of the Trinidadian British activist or sorts named Michael Freitas (or Michael X) or a trans woman named Julie in 1960s Britain; they also sprawl in a way that makes the overall argument a bit hard to divine. It’s not until the fourth episode that the shape of Curtis’s narrative becomes clear—that our age is the product of a struggle between a new, broadly liberal-democratic and capitalist image of individualism, a dying era of collectivist struggle, and older, more vicious systems of power, derived from the control of capital and expressed through the middle classes’ suspicion and viciousness toward the subaltern and toward each other, even as they remain subject to the power of oligarchs and billionaires.

Curtis also seems to play fast and loose with the facts sometimes. When he presents Médecins Sans Frontières’s founder Bernard Kouchner as an avatar of a theory of the “one world” of liberal democracy—the idea that we’re basically one world of individuals, enjoying certain human rights regardless of political orientations or ideologies, and that Western nations are duty-bound by virtue of their prosperity to intervene when other nations violate people’s rights—it seems a distortion of what Kouchner actually says in the footage Curtis includes: “We don’t care on leftist or rightist countries [sic]; there is no leftist and rightist suffering, and there is no possibility to split the world in[to] ‘good’ people or ‘bad’ people, ‘good’ dead and ‘bad’ dead.” Which isn’t to say Kouchner didn’t believe in liberal-democratic ideas—he may well have—but what he’s shown as saying has to do with the consideration of suffering as suffering regardless of a person’s identity or allegiance, which is a different matter.

This is just one of several moments when I stopped to wonder how secure I actually was in Curtis’s hands. But ultimately, I find the emotional history he lays out resonant. The age we’re living through now, in the 2020s, is indeed the product of certain fantasies of individualism and of a post-end-of-history, neoliberal “one world”—with no ideologies but capitalism and putative democracy—meeting age-old systems of power, acquisition, and control, and age-old features of the human mind and heart: resentment, prejudice, betrayal, jealousy, the need to be prosperous, the need to be free.

And Curtis’s work appeals to me for the same reason the writer Pankaj Mishra’s work does. He historicizes our underhistoricized time. What’s more, he does so in a way that’s especially rare to see in any mainstream media venue. Usually, when you want to understand the connections between, say, colonial-era empires and post-war welfare states, or if you want to understand what happened to turn Western societies as they were post-war to Western societies as they are post-financialization, you have to seek the information out on your own. It’s valuable to have someone in a place like the BBC willing to put the pieces of these narratives together. And willing to remind us of the events that are so incredibly easy to forget even in one’s own lifetime. Abu Ghraib, for instance, which pops up in part 6 of the documentary. That shit happened while I was alive. How often do I remember it? How many American sins get drowned out in the new ones that emerge every day of every month of every year? Or in the stasis that sets in when what was once novel, like the War on Terror or the invasion into our privacy represented by the Patriot Act, fades into regular life?

I was jotting down copious notes while watching the doc, as is my wont. The questions and thoughts that came up, in no particular order:

How do the elites of a given era impose their preferred ideologies? How are the structures of power we grow up with constructed, and how do those go on to shape our behavior?

Control, as it’s practiced by societies in the 21st century, often comes down to the recognition of patterns in human behavior—and their manipulation.

The loss of power, like that which was suffered after the collapse of Britain’s empire or in the slow hollowing-out of America’s manufacturing industry in the 20th century, leads to anger and melancholy that people can’t be expected to abandon. Does doing what you’re supposed to do bring you the happiness you were promised—or anything even resembling that happiness? When we’re living in a historical moment in which the answer is no, as is often the case today, we’ll need to watch out. It’s a sign people are being manipulated and abused.

Over time, the tech industry has come to understand that you can manage people en masse by collecting their data and manipulating the messages they receive in social media activity feeds and advertising—and you can make them feel like sovereign individuals at the same time through the very same means. In light of all this, will there ever be a revolution that actually changes the structure of power we’re currently stuck in? Is there a chance to alter this extreme individualism. on the part of people who are surrounded by political systems so enervated, by the supra-governmental system that is global finance capital—which politicians can’t control, and must appease and palliate—that they can’t respond to phenomena like climate change or meaningfully punish atrocities like wars prosecuted on false pretenses? Or are we stuck where we are, in a world that’s corrupt and exhausted? In nations whose governments depend on technologies of surveillance and myths of consumerist abundance or nationalist glory to maintain power, in the absence of any real vision for the future?

It all leads to some interesting takeaways. For one, the way culture reacts to politics and vice versa. As I was watching Can’t Get You Out of My Head, I was reminded of a conversation folks on the Discord server for the Relentless Picnic podcast had had recently about the strange things Richard Dawkins posts on his Twitter account. And it led me to think: when religious “caring conservatism” was in the White House, Richard Dawkins and his New Atheism, this brash repudiation of religion and its pieties, grew as a counterweight. When Obama and his technocratic regime were in power, with social media bringing on a wave of progressivism in popular culture and algorithms presenting us a fantasy of endless choice—much of which was a thin veneer over the same old shit: banks getting bailed out, forever wars going on, productivity rising while wages stagnated—we also got Jordan Peterson-types who claimed to speak to a human need for narrative, even in this point of stability we had seemed to reach, this recovery of sanity after the chaos that was the Iraq War and the financial crisis; who claimed we needed ideas and myths to animate and drive our lives, because they sensed there was something hollow and mendacious driving all this consumer choice, for all it seemed a symbol of our freedom and progress.

Of course, both Peterson and Dawkins are provocateurs, not intellectuals; I don’t mean to dignify the movements they led much, since in both the appearance of intellectual rigor or moral clarity often covered the indulgence of the worst instincts: immaturity, obstinacy, provocation for provocation’s sake, contempt for women and trans people. The New Atheists had a point, and could be absolute assholes about it; they ultimately could be as fundamentalist and dogmatic as any religious people. As for Jordan Peterson, his actual work, in the way of so many grand theorists, uses the appearance of profundity to cover something ultimately pretty banal. And he’s most known for grandstanding in the public sphere—refusing to use people’s pronouns, the usual conservative shit. But these movements do seem to reflect a countercultural response no less than 1960s counterculture reflects a reaction to the staid culture of 1950s America and the sins it covered up.

Which leads me to the question: what was the culture’s response to Trump’s administration? Maybe QAnon and Russiagate, as conspiracies—that is, actual narratives people inhabit to explain the world’s evils, and not just a vague need for them that they satisfied with Jordan Peterson’s light form of Stoicism or his theories of Light and Dark or whatever the fuck. And in that way, perhaps, once a countercultural movement—namely nationalism and Trumpian populism—actually seemed to have overthrown a regime, of Obama-era liberal technocratic management, culture and politics came to mirror each other, rather than standing in opposition to each other. Both became equally conspiratorial and unhinged; in fact, they merged. All the ruling myths and conspiracies mutate in kind these days: Trump’s garbage about draining the swamp, a cover for Trump and his family enriching themselves and Stephen Miller’s like getting to fashion the state they wanted, becomes QAnon’s garbage about rings of child trafficking and pedophilia and Trump, of all people, being their savior—all while actual trafficking and abuse perpetuated by Jeffrey Epstein and his ilk goes unpunished, Epstein’s death swallowed up by the state without a sound—becomes the liberal pundit class’s screaming about Russia: connections between Trump and Putin that were always conjectural to me, because no one who pled them seemed to feel much need to substantiate them.

Here again I feel like what were once centrifugal forces in our culture—between mainstream and the independent media, for example; between people in power and their critics, either in the media or at society’s margins—have collapsed into a single morass. We’re all in hell and there’s no way out.

In all this, what does Biden’s administration represent? Little more than an interregnum, to my mind. How disappointing to see not even a gesture toward forgiving student debt or raising the minimum wage in these first 100 days of his presidency. There’s been some progress in climate legislation, and progress in putting Stephen Miller’s deportation machine to a halt (though they’re also reopening several emergency shelters to accommodate more minors already being held past the mandated limits for keeping them in the custody of the Department of Health and Human Services’s Office of Refugee Resettlement). But there’s also been such triangulation on policy by the administration and its supporters and such complacency on the part of the media covering the administration, refusing to call them out on or even cover this. And how can the average voter respond but with resignation?

Ever since I read Thomas Mann’s Doctor Faustus near the start of lockdown, absorbing the picture of the world pre-World War II that’s presented in that book, I’ve thought we’re in the same sort of moment that Mann’s protagonist Zeitblom was in. There’s a crisis that’s passing over this whole planet like a wave or a seismic event, and no human intervention can interrupt it. We can only wait for it to pass—holding on to whatever’s to hand, waiting to see what the world will look like when it’s over.

#adam curtis #documentaries #thomas mann #jordan peterson #richard dawkins #pankaj mishra #the relentless picnic #conspiracy

[wait-there-was-a-plan]

Ship:Logince

Plot: Soulmate Au, a timer on your wrist counts down to the moment you meet your soulmate. Roman makes a huge mistake.

Triggers: Angst. None, I think.

Wordcount: 990

It was 1:32 a.m.

Roman wasn’t asleep.

He should have been. He had rehearsal tomorrow, and it was always important for him to get his beauty sleep. But he wasn’t. His mind was far too busy worrying about something other than proper rest. 

06:07:56:23

The clock on his wrist was counting down the seconds. 

23 22 21 20…

Tik tok tik tok tik tok tik-

Six days. Six days until Roman would meet his soulmate. The same day as the opening night of his play. Roman had already been nervous about the event, but when they had realised the show day date and put around the fliers his clock had changed. Now he was almost more of a nervous wreck than Virgil normally was. 

Roman had always dreamed of meeting his soulmate. As a child, it was all he would talk about.

“How tall are they going to be? Are they handsome? Strong? Charming? Could they be a boy? I hope so.” 

Now that day was almost upon the young actor and he didn’t know what to do. 

“Is he going to like me? What is he like? What if he’s rude? A liar? Arrogant?” 

He shook his head as if it would stop the thoughts. Roman desperately wanted to stop thinking. Maybe he should go for a walk? He thought he had heard Virgil say something about taking walks to calm him down. 

Roman saw the time on his wrist watch start to change as the thought crossed his mind but he ignored it. He doesn’t need to worry about that before a big performance. He just needs to clear his mind. Get some fresh air. Nevermind that it’s late and the college dorms have a curfew.

He took a deep breath, grabbing his coat and stepping outside the dorm. A moment later he was walking in the forever busy streets of the city, trying his best not to run into anyone. 

Roman found himself staring at all the people walking past him. He didn’t doubt that they all had clocks on their wrists. Everyone did. A timer counting down to the second you’ll meet your true love, occasionally changing times when you or your soulmate make a decision that will bring you closer together or further apart. 

He took a deep breath, lifting his gaze from in front of him to the signs above him, hoping that reading the advertisement would help him take his mind away from things. 

He frowned at the first ad he laid his hand on. It was for the ‘Freesouls.’ A group of people who purposely ignore, or even take off their watches. So that they aren’t ‘bounded’ by their soulmate. It was this new social movement and there were a lot of controversies surrounding them. Roman never truly understood why they did that, but honestly he couldn’t care. He honestly suspected Remus of being a freesoul. It seemed like something his twin would do. 

‘What if he’s one of those? What if he really wants nothing to do with m-’

Roman’s thoughts were interrupted when he collided with something in front of him pushing him down on the ground. 

“Ow! Hey-” The actor looked up, suddenly caught on his words for a reason he really couldn’t explain. 

The individual in front of him was breathtaking, and looking down at the book he had dropped and the bag that had spilled its contents on the sidewalk, as soft ginger colored hairs fell out of a bun. He also seemed to be looking for something, softly patting the ground. Roman shifted his eyes to see a pair of glasses right at his feet. He grabbed them and held them out for the other man. “Here-”

“Watch where you’re going.” The individual snapped, snatching the glasses from Roman and instantly the awe faded. 

“I was just handing you back your glasses!” Roman snapped back, standing up. “And you ran into me!” 

“Right. Because looking up at the sky was watching where you were walking, right?” The other asked, putting on his glasses and picking up his book from the ground, taking a moment to examine it to make sure it hadn’t been damaged in the fall. “You made me lose my place. Delightful.” 

“You were reading while walking!” Roman phrased it like it like a statement, but honestly it was more of a question. “How much of a nerd are you? Watch where you walk!” 

“Nerd? How-” A bus rolled pass them and the individual stopped with a scowl and hurried to throw his things in his book bag. “You’re lucky I have to catch a bus otherwise you’d get a full lecture!”

“Yeah, lucky me!” Roman yelled as he ran pass him. 

The man gave the actor one last glare before disappearing onto the bus. 

“God, if I never see him again, it’ll be too soon.” Roman muttered, running his hand through his hair, holding it for a minute so he could hear the soft ticking of the timer counting down. 

…

Except he couldn’t hear the ticking. 

He looked at his wrist confused. The second he laid his eyes on it, his mouth dropped. 

00:00:00:00

“Wait. How. When. Who-”

He turned quickly and ran for the bus that had just started to close its doors. It rolled ahead and Roman felt panic flush through him. 

“Wait! Wait! Stop the bus! Wait!” 

It didn’t. It kept driving, picking up speed slowly despite Roman’s pleads. 

He followed the bus until it had driven out of view and then he stared in disbelief where the bus had been. After a moment he looked down at his wrist. 

00:00:00:00

The timer was at zero. 

He met his soulmate. 

He had let his soulmate walk away. 

He never got his name.

He had no way to find him. 

He had lost his chance…

His soulmate was gone...

#sandersides #thomassanders #sandersidesprincey #logince #logan sanders #romansanders #tsroman #ts virgil #tsremus #ts logan #ts logince #ts logic #tscreators #ts creativity #soulmate #soulmate au

[kriskubed]

I posted 1,145 times in 2021

26 posts created (2%)

1119 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 43.0 posts.

I added 58 tags in 2021

#lol - 19 posts

#klaine fanfiction - 5 posts

#bahahaha - 5 posts

#hahahaha - 5 posts

#help - 4 posts

#yes good - 4 posts

#bahahahahaha - 4 posts

#blaine anderson - 4 posts

#kurt hummel - 4 posts

#cute - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#i'm really hoping if there's enough excitement and engagement they'll pick it up for a new season or at least more movies

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Blaine???

[source]

13 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 21:04:19 GMT

#4

This should have been written years ago. Parts of it were, and it languished in my drafts forever. I could never quite figure out exactly where I wanted to go with it. But I finally committed to polishing it up and getting it out there, because really, Klaine just needed to go see Darren in Hedwig. And I figured the anniversary of his opening night was a good time to post!

~

Set in Spring/Summer of 2015, Blaine is less than thrilled at being compared to the new lead actor in Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

~

Blaine looked down at the text message he’d just received from his brother, a quickly snapped photo of an advertisement for Hedwig and the Angry Inch, featuring an actor who looked quite a lot like Blaine.

Something you want to tell me about, Squirt?

Coop, you know that's not me.

It looks just like you...well if you were in drag.

Not happening. And not me.

He sighed and tossed his phone aside in annoyance.

“Something wrong?” Kurt asked.

“Just Cooper being Cooper,” he said.

“Ah. What now? Or do I not want to know?”

“It’s nothing really. Just pointing out my resemblance to the new guy in Hedwig. As if I hadn’t already heard that from everyone at school.”

“Your... ? Let me see,” Kurt said. Between school and the diner and Vogue.com, he’d been too busy to stay on top of all of the Broadway casting news lately.

Blaine handed over his phone and Kurt looked at the picture Cooper had sent, then at Blaine, then back at the picture. “Wow. He does look a lot like you. Not as handsome of course,” Kurt said diplomatically.

“You have to say that,” Blaine laughed. “You’re my husband.”

“That doesn’t make it any less true. And what’s this about ‘not happening’?” he asked, handing Blaine’s phone back to him. “What ever happened to ‘Guys can be divas too’? Tina sent me that video you know. You were hot. You could totally rock this look if you wanted to.”

“Which I don’t. Guys can be divas. But they don’t have to be in drag to do it. And I’m just so sick of being compared to this guy. It’s all anyone at school wants to talk about. Did you know he was also in How to Succeed in Business? Picture him with gelled hair in a bow tie.” Maybe he was being petulant, but how was he supposed to compete with someone who not only looked just like him, but also had Broadway credits to his name already?

Kurt let it drop and Blaine decided to write off Cooper’s text as just another attempt at brotherly ribbing. He didn’t think much more about it until an email showed up in his inbox with the subject line “Your e-tickets for Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” Blaine hadn't ordered the tickets, but his confusion cleared when he caught sight of another email from Cooper’s address: “Happy Birthday to Kurt.”

Hey Squirt,

Guessing you've received the e-tix by now. Do me a favor and wrap them up to give to Kurt for me? I never was any good at that sort of thing, but I couldn't let my new brother-in-law’s birthday go unnoticed. There's one for you too of course.

Have fun!

-Cooper

Blaine sighed. At least Cooper was trying. And he had to admit it would be fun to see the show, despite his somewhat irrational grudge against its star.

[continue on AO3]

30 notes • Posted 2021-04-29 21:05:39 GMT

#3

33 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 23:23:06 GMT

#2

Everything about this is hilarious

41 notes • Posted 2021-01-19 02:54:44 GMT

#1

Just a little piece of fluff for Kurt & Blaine's first Father's Day... I had some thoughts for a couple of other scenes but haven't had a chance to get them down and didn't want to get too far away from the holiday before I posted. Perhaps I'll add to it, but for now have this.

~

Blaine creeps into their bedroom, baby in one arm and breakfast tray carefully balanced in the other. He sets Ella down on the bed where she quickly climbs onto Kurt, who stirs when he feels his daughter's tiny hands on his face. Blaine meanwhile has settled the tray down beside Kurt on the bed and stands looking at the two loves of his life as Kurt slowly wakes. “Papa!” Ella yells excitedly when he opens his eyes.

“Good morning, baby girl,” he says, kissing her hands and pretending to nibble on her fingers, making her laugh.

“If you’re hungry,” Blaine says, “Ella made you breakfast. You don’t have to eat our daughter.”

“Oh she did, did she? Ella made all of this all by herself?”

“Yep,” Blaine grins. “She’s a prodigy. I had to help her reach the cabinets to get out the ingredients for the pancakes but other than that…”

Kurt can’t help but smile. His husband is ridiculous but it’s entirely adorable that he got up early on their first Father’s Day so their not-quite-one year old could bring him breakfast in bed.

“I see,” Kurt says, snagging a piece of bacon from his plate. He surveys the tray where there is definitely far more food than he can or should eat by himself. “Is this all for me or are you two going to join me?”

Blaine climbs onto the bed beside him and pops a strawberry in his mouth. “I guess we could eat with you. What do you think Ella? Do you want some of the yummy pancakes you made for Papa?”

Ella claps her hands in delight, happy to be with both of her daddies. “‘akes!” she repeats and clambers over to sit in Blaine’s lap while they all eat breakfast in bed.

Blaine’s heart is full as he absorbs the moment. He loves his little family, and as much as he’s always been one for grand gestures, what he treasures most is these simple pleasures they share, just the three of them. “Happy Father’s Day, Kurt,” he says, and leans over to give his husband a sweet kiss. “There’s no one I’d rather do this with than you.”

48 notes • Posted 2021-06-21 12:29:29 GMT

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