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#this happens way too much and idk i just don't want something really bad to happen in 2024
wabatle · 2 days
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hi!!!!!
can i req mafuyu, airi, an, akito, shiho, and rui with a super affectionate s/o?
sorry if that's too many characters, feel free to just ignore this
tysm, I love your work! ♡♡♡
WHAT THE HECK YOU PICKED ALL OF MY FAVORITES WHAT
so just for u anon i will put hearts instead of stars
♡~Mafuyu, Airi, An, Akito, etc, with a super affectionate s/o
(wa)batle nonsense (author's note):
this took me forever but I worked really hard on it, so ty for the request! and don't worry, currently i don't have a character limit, and i even added more!
warnings: none/all fluff
taglist: @stellas-starry-stove13, Rui and Akito are waiting!
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♡~Mafuyu Asahina
The idea of being showered in affection is a foreign topic for her since her mother is a terrible person
She feels a subtle warmth when you’re being affectionate with her, like something that could never be replicated by someone else
Although she doesn’t understand what she’s feeling, she does know that when you put your arm around her or put your head on her shoulder she feels a sense of security and relief
I can see her as not minding innocent PDA, like holding hands in public or small cheek kisses, but save the more affectionate stuff for home
I think she sees your affection almost as a safe space, so she will always drop her good girl act around you so she can feel like the affection she’s getting is real
When she sees you attached to her, if you look close enough, you might be able to see a real smile
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♡~Airi Momoi
Airi probably thinks it's really cute, and returns it whenever she can!
If you play with or style her hair, she might protest a little, but she won't complain after its done
She might get flustered if you're being really affectionate, but most of the time she'll be okay
I can see her as someone who is also very affectionate, so you two would probably cuddle a lot after school or streams
She probably also wants to be spoiled with cuddles and kisses after a show, so make sure you do that
Gonna be honest— movie nights are a must, she loves to be close to you and loves that you love to be close to her
You probably also play-fight all the time, often resulting in one of you hurting yourselves, but not a bad injury
Overall, she would be a really cute and affectionate girlfriend if you were also affectionate with her
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♡~An Shiraishi
Another who would think it's cute and return the favor!
I cannot even describe how much An loves this
You probably pinch each other's cheeks a lot (I know it's cringe, but I just feel like that would happen)
If you're shorter than her, she will wrap her arms around your waist while you cook
If you're taller, she'll put herself in between your arms in front of you while you cook
Same thing for you but vice versa
I can see you being kept up late because you guys can't stop giggling and complimenting each other, and constantly cuddling each other so much one of you almost falls off the bed
You probably sit on each other's laps all the time. I'm sorry but it's true
Idk why, but I can see you two cuddling and writing down lyrics or thoughts for songs and shows
An loves to tease and make you all red, so you should do the same for her
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♡~Akito Shinonome
He…likes it
Akito really likes being able to go home and cuddle with you after a long day, and watching a movie with you
He enjoys being showered in affection from you, because it means he gets to spend meaningful time with you
Ena hears about you nonstop. To the point where she has to forcibly change the subject to get him to stop talking about you
Akito would return your affection through gifts, I think
He would ask Ena what he should get you, or he’ll find something he just knows you would like, and he'll buy it on the spot
When you're cuddling or play-fighting, you might get him to tell you that you’re cute
Kisses. So. Many. Kisses.
For some reason, I see Akito as someone who is easily influenced by his s/o in some ways, so I think when you're being extra affectionate with him, he’ll be extra affectionate with you too
So I can see you sitting in his lap, or with in between his legs, or vise versa
If you're sitting like this, he will kiss the back of your head over and over again
He also would lay with his head in your lap and have you play with his hair (or vice versa, he would play with your hair too)
He will hug you from behind at home
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♡~Shiho Hinomori
Shiho likes to be alone.
Let me specify, she likes to be alone with you.
PDA is a no-go with her, not even holding hands
Shiho really isn’t a person to like any type of affection, yet somehow she was able to fall in love with you, the most affectionate person she knows (even more than Saki!)
Shiho will hug you back and kiss you back, but only if you do it first so she knows what she’s doing
As much as she would hate to say it, she would ask Shizuku for advice on how to…relationship?
She would return your affection by letting you sit as close as possible and practicing her bass for you
She doesn’t really like clinginess, but she will accept pretty much anything from you
Shiho does appreciate your company, though
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♡~Rui Kamishiro
Rui will 100% return it tenfold.
He will carry you around the house, outside, wherever you want to go
You can sit on his lap while he works on new blueprints for robots he’s working on
He’s very sweet to you and lets you be affectionate in anyway you want to to him
Slow dancing. I can see you two slow dancing at home randomly
You also sit in between his legs sometimes
He will let you cling onto him while he tells you about his ideas for shows or concepts for inventions
He probably can’t not cuddle you when you’re being affectionate, and that’s when the seating positions come in
It’s hard for you two to fall asleep because you keep whispering compliments in his ear and he keeps doing the same for you
If you go to the same school you have lunch on the rooftop everyday where you will cuddle together
If you don’t go to the same school then you’ll have to be like Emu and infiltrate
Not to mention kisses
He will kiss you anywhere on your face, the back/top of your head, even ears or neck
He likes to hold you close to him and stroke your head
Idk why but I feel like when you kiss it’s like something out of disney movie
☆BONUS☆
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♡~Ichika Hoshino
Ichika will get flustered very quickly depending on what you’re doing
If you’re flirting, expect her face to get red
If you’re just hugging her a lot, she’ll still get red but she’ll hug you back
Like Shiho, one of the ways she’ll return your affection is by playing her guitar while you’re curled up next to her
Yet another who would stay up late by complimenting you
She practices singing around you, and when she gets nervous practicing she’ll squeeze your hand
She’ll ask you for your ideas for lyrics while you’re clinging onto her
She’s fine with pretty much any way you sit, as long as it’s not on each other
She’ll happily hold hands with you anywhere you go, and maybe even link arms!
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♡~Shizuku Hinomori
She loves it!
You cling onto each other when you’re walking around, and cuddle together 99% of the time you’re at home together
You sit with your arms around each other and either one of you has their head on the other’s shoulder
When you hug her arm while she’s putting her miso soup in her thermos, she probably drops everything and hugs you back
When you go out shopping together you’re linking arms or one of you is clinging to the other’s arm
She’ll also let you sit with your head in her lap while she plays with your hair
She would love it if you sat behind her and styled her hair however you want! And then she’ll tell you how much she loves it and how good of a job you did, even if it doesn’t look good.
WHEW, MY LONGEST FIC YET!
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kangals · 3 days
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way back in 2014, probably a few weeks or months after you posted that picture of boone with the stick on his head, i checked your blog out and so dearly enjoyed all the dogposting that i followed. i think you were the first dogblr blog i actually followed at the time, but it's been ages and my memory is bad, so i'm not fully sure. it wasn't long before then--2012 i think?--that i had gotten a new dog of my own, a border collie. iirc he and boone were just about the same age.
in 2018 i lost that blog i'd followed you with, and a lot of connections with it. i didn't return until 2021, and when i did, i didn't refollow most of the old blogs; i don't think i even really went looking for them. it took me a while to get back into the swing of using tumblr.
last september, my border collie had a sharp health decline, and i had to say goodbye. it's not the first time i've had to put a pet down, but i think it was the hardest. i'm still not over it. even just typing this now, i feel raw.
then in march or so, i made a new fandom friend who knows you, and i enthusiastically recalled following you before and how much i enjoyed it. i didn't even know about stellina, and now there's kep too! but... i also didn't know you'd lost boone. i followed because i still really enjoy your blog, and i love your collies too. and butters!!! so glad she's still here!
idk what made me look tonight... maybe because i talked about my old border collie with someone today. i went looking for the posts immediately around when you lost boone, because i guess some part of me wanted to know what happened. i spent the better part of an hour (maybe longer?) reading posts from the weeks before the decline, and then the loss, and then the deluge of old boone pictures after, and i've been crying pretty much the whole time just reading your posts and tags about him.
and this is a long and windy way to get to saying thank you. i'm glad you shared your grief, though that seems like a weird thing to say. there's something cathartic about crying over someone else's dog when you still hurt about your own, and knowing you're not alone in that kind of sorrow. boone was such a beautiful boy. i'll never forget that silly post that made me check your blog out in the first place, or the years of posts i stuck around for after. i wish i'd remembered to follow sooner, but the archive is still there, and it's so fun looking through all those old posts about him and his quirks and antics. he was amazing.
sorry for the length of this, i just... really wanted you to know that he touched yet another life, i guess. and i've been so deeply enjoying your posts about stellina and kep. i know it'll be a year soon... i hope there's some peace in how things have gone since he passed, and i hope the anniversary isn't too hard on you. thank you for sharing him with us.
i've been on tumblr for 14 years and this is, genuinely, the nicest ask i think i've ever been sent.
thank you - sincerely. there's been a lot of times over the course of this blog that i've felt like i was oversharing, or talking about pointless things only i cared about. i still so frequently start typing out a post only to stop mid-sentence and delete it because i can't help but think "no one cares about this." possibly it's why i like to talk about my pets so much - they're not me, but i'm the one who knows them best, so i get to say "hey look at this" and ramble and have people say "i'm looking" back. when boone passed, i lost that filter and i poured my grief out into this blog because it was the closest outlet i had. and to have hundreds of people not only acknowledge this but to commiserate, to reassure, to share their own stories - that helped healed me more than i can put into words. it's exactly as you said: there's a catharsis in grieving together.
i am sorry you also had to say goodbye. i wish i could say it gets easier, but i think that would be defeating the point of grief. your grief is your love and damn it if there isn't any act more loving in the world than choosing to say goodbye to an old, loyal dog. you think of how dogs were domesticated tens of thousands of years ago, of how human society and dogs have developed intertwined, of how we have records of ancient greeks and romans carving loving epitaths on their dog's graves, of how a prehistoric dog's skull was found with a bone placed in it's mouth after death, and you wonder if grieving a dog isn't one of the most consistent experiences in the whole of human history that there is.
i'm glad to know that this could bring you some comfort, in some way. it's incredibly touching to know that you kept me and boone in your thoughts for all this time. i am doing ok - i've been reflecting a lot as we approach the one-year mark. i'm not sure if i'll be able to condense those thoughts down into coherent words, but i'll do my best. i hope that my silly little pets continue to bring you some happiness, and that you've found peace with your own grief.
thank you, again - this is extremely touching and means a hell of a lot to me.
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there’s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.
#i lowkey had an awful day today lol#and it was my first day taking over as teacher so that's a great way to start it#there are people in seventh period who literally despise me and maybe that's an exaggeration but i looked over their creative writing for#the day and one of those kids literally wrote about how he was having a good day but then it turned into a bad day when i started the#creative writing with them so that was great and other stuff happened idk and one of my tics was really... uh... present today and i was so#aware of it and i feel like everyone was laughing at me because of it even tho ik that was just me being self-conscious but God i wanted to#cry and i shared a piece of my heart with them today for the creative writing exercise and so many of them just. told me how awful it was#like someone straight up started with 'this song is terrible' and then proceeded to write a paragraph about how bad it was#idk. it made me feel like a young kid again - sitting by myself on the playground and reading books. like i was in middle school and#everyone was telling me that the things that i loved were stupid. like i was a kid getting teased just lowkey enough that the teachers#couldn't tell because it wasn't necessarily outright bullying but they were making fun of what i loved which Hurts and then i was in high#school having to defend what i love and then in college hearing 'you ruined this for me because you liked it too much' and it just. idk.#it hurts. i find sharing passions and what i love with others so sacred and important and it Hurts when they just tear it and you down and#ik they're juniors and ik there will always be people like that but it was constant and idk. i'm just sad lol#so anyways even if someone shares something with you that you don't like there is literally No reason to be rude about it. you're allowed#to say you dislike it but it's not okay to just tell them straight up it's stupid or awful or you'd rather get hit by a car than hear the#song again. hm. ig i have some unresolved trauma lol#sorry for the rant y'all i just. needed to rant ig idk
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dadbots · 8 months
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August… time to get spooky.
#dadbots.txt#this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes.#I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh.#idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs.#best way to describe it LOL#been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just.#where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda.#just one of those moments yknow.#it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest -#- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing.#I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it.#I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month -#and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really.#don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often#and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow.#maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year.#not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat#though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all.#won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well.#and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really?#shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year.#I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now.#let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way.#hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽
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eggmeralda · 8 months
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when I was 19 in 2019 I got these Vibes about 2023, it wouldn't be good or bad it would just be a Significant year
2020 was so bad that 2021 could only be better, it started good and then I got paranoid that 2022 was gonna be bad in comparison, so I mentally prepared myself for 2022 months in advance
then by the summer 2021 suddenly became worse than all of 2020 combined, but it improved by about september
bc of the mentally preparing myself months before, 2022 was amazing, but bc it started so good I got the feeling that it wouldn't end well
the last 4 months were pretty bad, and then came 2023
I got many different vibes for it over the past 4 years, but one of the main things was that there'd been a pattern going since 2015
2015: extremely good
2016: extremely bad
2017: average
2018: pretty decent
2019: extremely good
2020: extremely bad
2021: average
2022: pretty decent
so 2023 was expected to be really good? but also it had to get up from 2022's bad ending so the goodness was gradual
my brain is prepared for a good last 4 months to compare to 2022's bad last 4 months
but also following the pattern, 2024 should be extremely bad, and once I've got the thought in my head that a year will be bad, there's no going back. which would explain the extremely bad year following an extremely good year
2015 and 2019 were unreal, which meant 2016 and 2020 would've looked bad in comparison no matter what, so they just completely gave up and decided to be awful
but anyway it's 'getting paranoid about next year' season, also I can never escape the patterns of time etc etc
#in 5 days it's the 10th anniversary of the beginning of my memory and dates obsession. which is fun#oh time thoughts why must you run my life#why must you keep constant surveillance on my thoughts and if i think the wrong thing then something disastrous will happen#fun fun times 👍#also like *19yo thoughts voice* ''something very bad will happen in 2020''#*19yo thoughts voice* ''2023 will be a significant year'' and then me paranoidly thinking what could be That significant that i'm getting#info about it now? oh my god someone's gonna die#and then by 2023 someone died#bc i reblogged that post saying 'reblog to get good news in late march'#which meant i left the thoughts unsupervised by late march bc i thought i was protected by that post#then my friend and his toxic girlfriend had a massive fight and i was like 'oh my god they're gonna break up this must be the good news'#then they stayed together and my sister's friend died instead#as if the time patterns were reminding me never to let my thoughts relax like that again#i need to always remember every memory and make sure i don't accidentally control the future again#i know realistically i don't control the future and i didn't cause my sister's friend to die and i didn't cause the pandemic#and i know my brain is very irrational#but still#this happens way too much and idk i just don't want something really bad to happen in 2024#hopefully it'll do a weird swapover like with 2017/18#bc before that odd number years were good and even number years were bad starting in 2014#or like odd number years would start bad but end good and the even number years would be the other way round#but 2017 stayed neutral throughout and then 2018 started bad ended good#then until 2021 the pattern was swapped#2021 was weird bc it started and ended good but was horrendous in the middle#no other year has ever done that#so yeah 2024 could do something weird and swap with another year idk#but i'll have to see#ramble
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ihatebnha · 2 years
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hey pretty, I just wanted to tell you that it's not your fics that makes this your blog, it's you!! so don't feel like to be here you have to be "working" or "posting". you're you and I love u for that. really, I love it when you answer asks, you're so polite, gentle and funny, it actually makes us wanna talk to you. but!! if one day this whole thing ever overwhelms you it's okay baby. just wanted to let you know that you alredy give us so much <33 you are amazing in indulging our thoughts, you give us tiktok content and amazing dad headcanons for all the characters!! know you're doing great, you really are active here and we love you 💗❤❤
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#cries for literally 100 years#thank you so incredibly much for this anon :(((( truly truly truly#hardly know how to express what i wanna so i have to stay in the tags so i don't end up blubbering all over u adslfjkjasnd#no one has ever ............... said anything like this to me before#at least about ... my content and how active i am and stuff#i always feel like im never doing enough. ALWAYS. even when i post a lot i just wish i could post more#and maybe its just cuz im comparing myself to my old self#but it makes me sad bc i just feel like u all deserve more than whats happening now#and usually im reassured by the fact that like... something IS better than nothing... esp w/ quality over quantity#but at the same time... idk. all my content seems so. rudimentary#so it's like. when i cant produce a lot of it... what am i even doing?#and honestly i think my burnout mostly comes from the fact that im sick of doing homework and the prospects of relaxing this summer#are just too good to give up (making even focusing on this blog hard) BUT IDK#it triggers my performance anxiety... like what if ppl hate me if i do bad... or am not the way i used to be... you know?#anyway thats just mostly to say... I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. TRULY. i don't think ive ever been complimented this way#and i appreciate it beyond. words.#not sure how im gonna feel in 2-3 weeks after i settle myself for the summer but. as long as u dont mind the fact that im slow...#that's enough for me <3 just need to find my spark again (which is funny cuz im watching bnha s5 rn and its really got me like... HUH)#ajfdjalsjdfj sorry to talk ur ear off tho bc what u said is really so reassuring... i just AHHHH and want u to know i love u lots#forever and ever and ever#ask#anon#caitie chats#fave
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imwritesometimes · 1 year
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now comes the part where, even though the certified professional just repaired my stuff and everything seems to be in working order, I nearly throw up anyway every time it kicks on cause I seriously have the absolute shittiest luck on earth
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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i'll succeed with everything. definitely.
#🌙.vent#last one fr then i think i have enough energy to fix my account. bcs. i don't really care. anymore. gna gaslight myself into being fine 🤍#smiling felt painful earlier but oh well! this is stupid anyways i shldn't think too much. this is so stupid#i have so much thoughts but yk what i will stop writing n force myself to do wtvr the fuck n yh fuck everything i'll stop overthinking i'll#just be myself. i thrive the most when i just be myself <3.. no wait i was gen doing a bit better but every time i think back n. 🥹 it Hurts#but. why the hell am i letting these stupid things bring me down. i've never really been the type to hide or bring myself down or. yeah#i shouldn't think too much on it all i know eventually i'll always succeed :< that said tho i am rlly v tired i just wna be invisible#for a while. see what'll happen if i just disappear or cut myself off from the world. if anything wld change if i'll be 'gone' in some way#but no that's bad n destructive behavior i Shouldn't but sometimes when i get stressed enough i lack any care to. stop myself maybe. but.#i made promises to myself. a lot of promises to myself in my past n to my future that. i won't do anything i'll regret. holding unto tmrrw.#the future. holding unto that sense of hope has kept me alive. even if i'll always be full of regret and disappointment i want to live to#to love and to succeed and to be free and to. fight the world & find my freedom in reality. thats hard for me n i probably dont deserve it#maybe that's precisely why i'll forge on ahead. to prove that wrong. to be kind to the other part of me that has kept me alive#it sucks bcs while. like i just said i don't think i deserve certain things. at heart i know my main truth wld be that ik i'm deserving#bcs i'm human too :< but both ends r just intense in my head n when times r draining it gets harder to. yeah#idk what i'm writing anymore but no matter how hard it gets i need to succeed. i need to improve i need something better#i'll work hard enough so i could be at peace. have freedom in my own way. 'fly' as i'm meant to and as i've always wished to#that said though ik i'll succeed in terms of several of my passions but when it comes to people.... i always feel like i fail there T_T#every time i'm distant i'm aware of how it affects me negatively but then i try to deny it at times bcs 'i just need myself blah blah'#surely i can't be weak for. wtvr but like. all that is smth that is not up to me. trying that w how i oft feel i don't belong in this world#i can't help but think that there'll always be better ppl than me for others. not that i think low of myself but its hard to feel i 'fit in#? it's a lonely world for me n i still can relate w others n socialize n wtvr n all but it just hurts. this is stupid :c thoughts like#'my friends wld be better off without me' or 'i dont contribute much anyways' & 'not much would change if i'll be gone' hurt me bcs#i do want to believe that i'm loved & cared for too in this world but.. it hurts its one of my weakest points. a hell i can't escape.#but i'm fine with it. it's my fault. my mind's fault. idk i live in my own lil world most of the time n i feel too different from others#so it's always been hard for me to reach out since i don't think it would be particularly wanted from me but i do love helping others#unconditionally n. my family's always been here from the start i can always trust them. fuck my old friends though i have trust issues#i'm working on that n i know all i shld technically fix w myself but it's easier said than done n. genuinely i rlly want to improve.#but i wonder if i'm too harsh n perfectionistic about it. making it counterintuitive. sigh. idk what i'm writing anymore i'm a mess#i'm fine. when i'm stressed n overwhelmed it's just v easy for me to lose sight of myself. i'll be fine i think soon. just need to remember
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ao3commentoftheday · 6 months
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Idk if this is too broad of a scope for this blog, but if you could answer this, it'd be great.
I've been in a writing rut since I started getting serious about writing, and I've identified the issue in the past month or so: I slant heavily on the gardener end of the writing spectrum and all the advice on writing I've ever seen was for architect-style writing. Not once in the eight years I've been serious about writing did I find any guides on gardener-style writing (and if it says it's gardener-style, it'sreally just architect-style with gardner aspects), and my experience has just been more or less jamming a square peg into a circle hole, getting nothing written and feeling bad about it.
Now I'm unlearning all the architect-style habits that are destructive to me as a writer, but I can't find any resources for gardeners aside from Stephen King's On Writing. If you or any of your followers know how to help a gardener's writing, that would be great. I have so many fic ideas I want to write, but can't since I'm learning to write all over again.
For those who don't know what gardener and architect refer to when it comes to writers, a gardener is a writer who starts with the seed of an idea and lets it grow in whatever direction the light shines. They prune it and weed it as they go but otherwise let the idea lead the way. An architect, on the other hand, plans their stories out first and then writes them. They have a structure and the details all mapped out first and then the writing is just executing on that vision.
As a gardener myself, my biggest piece of advice is to avoid writing advice. Like you've said, the majority of it is aimed at people who do things like plan and plot and worldbuild ahead of time. Because of the structure that that writing style enjoys, providing "one size fits most" writing advice works well for it.
I tend to find a lot of that advice to be counter to what I need to do. Planning a story out ahead just makes me feel like it's already written. Building out the world before I start writing it feels like a hollow exercise - more like writing an encyclopedia than developing a land and culture for my characters to inhabit.
What I find useful is taking an episodic approach to writing. The entire story will be like a season of a television show and each chapter is like one episode. I always have my eventual "season finale" end goal in mind, but any particular chapter can meander closer to or further from that goal. It's alright to take a circuitous route, as long as I get to my destination in the end.
It's also alright if my destination changes as I'm writing. Sometimes those meandering paths take me in a more interesting direction than I was originally going down, and that shifts the story. As long as you're vaguely following a three-act structure (or 5 act or 7 act), the flow of it will feel familiar to your readers and they probably won't really notice it happening.
This advice I'm giving might not ring true to you either. You didn't have a specific problem to address, so I've been wandering a bit in my reply. Really what it comes down to is paying attention to yourself and your needs. Figure out what it is that keeps you writing and what it is that makes you stop. Do more of the former and less of the latter - and don't worry if what you're doing is "weird" to someone else.
I write directly into the AO3 window (which AO3 specifically tells you NOT to do, btw) because drafting first in google docs or something takes the fun out of it for me. I post my chapters without previewing them first. I write in 800 to 1500 word sprints, and I focus on dialogue, and I almost always try to end on a joke or a pun or a cliffhanger. These are all things that make writing an activity that I want to do.
I can't really say anything much more specific given your ask, but I hope something in here was helpful. Let's see if any gardeners out there have some resources or advice that might work for you.
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walpu · 2 months
Note
hii, first of all, sorry for my bad english
this may sound weird, but lately i've been thinking of aventurine turning in a cat. like, for some strange reason (maybe during a mission), he turned in a cute little cat. and since reader doesn't know he's a cat, he feels free to enjoy all reader's affection, and maybe to let his emotions win and cry while being caressed. and then he turns human and he's crying enough to fill a swimming pool. idk if i explained well :(
tysm, i love love love your works!! ❤︎
AWWW THIS IS SUCH A CUTE REQUEST and don't worry your English is perfectly fine! It's not my native language as well so I get the struggle tho
I love making my faves cry so there's a possibility that I've got a bit carried away lol
taking care of cat!Aventurine
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edits by @keisieudeptry on twitter
characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort, a lot of cuddles, n̷̳͙͊͛õ̵̩͓ ̸̧͉̓b̶̳́̎e̵̖͋͊ṭ̴̩̔ȧ̵̪͚̕
Aventurine
Listen, he's always on alert okay. This man rarely allows himself to relax, especially when he's on another one of his business trips.
And he knows what to expect. Lies, attempts on his life, threats etc. He has seen it all.
But this. This. This is something new. Of course anything can happen when you're dealing with The Masked fools but this? Being turned into a cat? In what place this is even funny? It is kinda funny tho just not for Aven
He knows better than to panic. Yes, being turned into a tiny orange cat was not a part of his plans. Yes, this is probably the most defenseless and vulnerable state he's been in since his childhood. Yes, this sucks. But hey not like panicking will change anything.
Instead he just sits in the corner, feeling incredibly anxious and dreadful. His only hope is that this shapeshifting trick won't last for long.
A huge wave of relief washes over him when he sees a familiar person. And not just any person but you. The only person who can put his restless mind at ease, at least for a short time. He wouldn't mind seeing Topaz or Ratio too but it's much better when it's you.
He quickly realizes, however, that his joy was premature. He can't communicate with you! And you don't know that this is him! So the only thing poor Aven can do is follow you around and... meow. It's almost humiliating. Too bad he doesn't have time to care.
Soon enough you give up at finally pick up the oddly familiar cat. Every time you try to put the cat down it starts meowing and running after you so the only thing you can do is pick it up and carry around like a potato.
And you know how it is with cats, once you put your hands on one you can't stop petting it. You run your fingers through the cat's fur absently, while checking you phone for any messages from Aventurine. Hugging the cat, pressing your face to it's soft fur. Something about it surely reminds you of Aven. The thought, no matter how childish it is, brings a small smile on your face.
And poor, poor Aven. For so long he's been longing for your touch while laying awake at night, his poor heart flattered every time your fingers brushed against his. He wants wants wants to melt into your embrace yet this is not allowed for him.
How can he ask for it without exposing the deepest and darkest parts of his soul. How can he open his heart to you without reveling all the ugly, fragile parts.
He wants to be open with you, he really does. Yet it's so unreasonably hard. Would you kiss his head like you do now if you would know how empty he is inside? Would he be able to press his forehead into you palm, asking for more more more without feeling exposed?
In a way, it's good that right now he's in this form. He doesn't really have to think about anything, doesn't have to feel anxious about revealing too much. He can just enjoy in.
You two fall asleep just like that and he doesn't have to overthink, he can just crawl to you side, nuzzling up to you.
You can't help but notice that the kitten in your arms is trembling slightly. And when you pull it closer in order to provide some warmth and comfort it just purrs and meows pitifully. Almost like it's… crying.
Now listen. I'm 100% sure Aven is a light sleeper. So there's no way he won't wake up from a loud gasp and a lot of movements near him.
Well. Seems like the shapeshifting trick the masked fool pulled on him lasted only for 12 hours. And now he lays on the couch in his human form while you look at him with the wide eyes.
Awkward.
His initial reaction is to laugh it off. "Surprised, dear? It's a shame you can't see your own face right now ha ha". Would explain the whole situation, trying to make it seem like it was not a big deal. No mention of you cuddling session tho. Max he would say is "my, my, didn't know you where such a cat person".
However, his smile freezes immediately when you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a hug. Well. Here goes all of his feigned confidence.
Here is this feeling again. Your warmth, you scent, the comfort your touch brings. You telling how you started to get worried and how relieved you are that he didn't get hurt. It cuts so deep, makes him feel so exposed yet so needed. Loved even.
At first he doesn't even get it why your eyes get even wider, why a look so lost and worried all of the sudden. Only when your hands hesitantly cup his cheeks and you ask him what's wrong he realizes that there are tears in his eyes.
You know those tears when they just drop from your eyes and it's not like you're hysterical or crying uncontrollably but the tears just keep coming and coming and the more you try to calm down , the worse it gets? Yeah, him.
Would almost automatically tell you that everything is fine. When you confront him, pointing out that he's literally crying, will get even more confused than you. "Hah, seems like you're right, dear" he says with a small smile, giving up on the idea of hiding it from you. After all, it's too late for that anyway.
It feels... not even humiliating, no. It's weird, scary even, to be so open around someone. To be stripped of his mask so suddenly.
And yet he doesn't have time to care when your hands hold him oh so tenderly, when you cup his face and ask him what's wrong.
"Nothing, nothing, really. Just getting a bit sentimental here. Just... hold me like that for a bit more, 'kay?" he manages to whisper with a faint smile before pressing his face in the crook of your neck.
God feeling his tears on your skin feels so surreal. And heartbreaking too.
With each tender touch he gets even more emotional, to the point when he literally chokes on his own tears. Please hold him, run your fingers through his hair, kiss the top of his head.
He just doesn't get it, it feels so good to be held by you, why does his stupid heart hurts so much then?
Honestly he didn't cry for so long and there are so many repressed feelings, just let him let it all out.
He'll probably fall asleep in your arms, feeling very exhausted after the sudden emotional outburst. In the morning would act like nothing has happened, making some dismissing comments about him being a bit overdramatic last night. Don't let him withdraw into himself but don't push him to open up too much as well.
Just touch him more often from now on, especially when he looks like he had a bad day. And eventually he'll turn into your lap cat, reaching out for your warmth himself with or without reason.
"You're being clingy again" "Am not <З" all while sitting on your lap.
You've domesticated him so good luck.
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l3monlem0n · 1 month
Text
Some Murder Drones Episode 7 screenshots I thought were interesting and my thoughts on them :>
SPOILER WARNING!!!! is spoilering
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Nori, despite being a middle aged woman with a child, appears to be an Otaku or otherwise likes "edgy" and "scene" stuff, as well as listening to nightcore, very much like her daughter. Good for her tbh you're never too old to have fun
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She also has a photo of Khan and what I can only assume is baby Uzi, though it appears to have blue eyes, but maybe it's just the lighting. Still very cute she has a pic of her husband
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As well as all the previously mentioned Otaku stuff, she also drew herself as an anime character. She has a skinsona. Phenomenal (pos)
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Nothing much here, just Uzi coughing up blood. Girl got the goop (gore) inside of her already
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Lab Space. Apparently the Church was just down there and not even the humans know why. The canonicity of this is questionable; it could just be a joke
OT, as per google, stands for "Occupational Therapy". Makes sense for the context, and makes the bottom text funnier
"Fun Time To Universe Big Crunch: 87". The Big Crunch is a hypothetical way the Universe could end, where the universe folds on itself and shrinks into a single point. 87 "what" I don't know. If it's months, that 7 years and 3 months
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Honestly the Murder Drones lore is super confusing. I think what this is trying to say is that every other Zombie Drone is doing poorly, (Except for Yeva), they are trying to reactivate 002 (Nori) via the USB. I'm not sure what this means. Maybe they only got the results they wanted from the two of them, and are trying again with Nori since she was the only other one that worked (also why they got Yeva when she failed; this may all be referring to how the episode opened up) Also, the date says SER. As revealed in the episode Cabin Fever, Copper-9 has months that Earth does not. SER most likely stands for Seramorris, the month revealed in that episode
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Looks like the "bad event" wasn't the first one. Certainly was the last one though lol
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Just a good pic of ghost/hologram V with the scary stuff. Might use this as a wallpaper
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You can literally see the hole in his neck where N bit him in...
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...And it's to the point his HEAD FALLS OFF. (including because I didn't notice the first time around)
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Yup, the idea that Uzi became the Admin for N and V is completely true. I wonder what would've happened if she didn't, since Cyn didn't react whatsoever
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friggin bug (very pos)
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You would not believe how difficult it was to get a good pic of this (I'm using snipping tool lmao). Always a pleasure to see Uzi's doodles. Things her gun can do (upper right):
NOT judge her
Forced prom date (?)
Allows her to say she had friends before she frickin murdered them with sci-fi machinery
The cut off text at the bottom: Plan B: Normal gun + Shoot really fast
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This is while Tessa is looking for something in the lockers. Claws, chains, magnets, Wings, and scribbled "HELP". Looks like the lockers were all specifically to hold the infected worker drones. Oof
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We are in the future now baby. We have rererererereCAPTCHA. Funnily enough, it still couldn't stop a robot
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There is a message board where someone who doesn't like robots is talking. They also are scared. Also no one else is using this system, which is unsurprising. "Ur aight ;)" Wait is the winky face intentional foreshadowing? Or unintentional?
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We get the names of a bunch of other Worker Drones. Unfortunately for all 029 fans, her name was not visible. (also can someone tell me what "JWEB" could be short for?) And Yeva is said to have a patch. That may be the crucible thing idk
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Cyn (which I will be calling this version Skyn [Skin + Cyn]) apparently took of the space suit just to give Doll the Withered Foxy jumpscare. Honestly really terrifying. If this photo was teased before release I think the fandom would've exploded
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Just N being a good boy :3
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The MDs, Cyn's pets. Nori refers to them as "Nerfed" so the "Entity" can ensure control, and says they were made to destroy other hosts. I don't know why Cyn would want them dead, but I'm not the loremaster here. YouTube line is there because I couldn't be bothered after the Railgun image
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Probably already confirmed, but doubly confirmed that a symptom of the Solver is giving Drones organic insides. A Worker Drone body with a rib cage and guts. I wonder what would happen if the infection continued uninterrupted (also R.I.P. Doll I loved you :frown:)
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I'm sure everyone noticed, but when Uzi tried to manipulate Tessa, the ERROR noticed appeared. Already hinting Tessa is not all she says she is
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Apparently the Solver can create Black Hole Saws. Interesting development (Blackhole Blitz)
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I know most people (I think) see this as a joke and N just being a bit of goofball. But honestly, I think he did it intentionally to shock Cynuzi and give Nori a chance. In the Pilot, he licked V's sword to surprise her too, which means he isn't unfamiliar with doing something weird and surprising for the advantage
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Skyn eating Doll's core. R.I.P. Doll again. Seriously, was that Doll in Core Form like Nori was? Or was Nori a fringe case because she was "Exorcised" and this is just a regular core? Questions, questions. Also yeah the Solver also gives you a Core. Fun
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This tag makes me think that this body is Cyn's actual body. Not longer a hologram, but her actual body from the mansion. The reason Tessa gave N, J, and V their names was because that was the first letter of their Serial Designation (she's very uncreative). However, Cyn's tag was slightly faded, which meant her SD couldn't be seen, so Tessa gave her the name "Cyn" after her P/N, even though the other 3 already have the same P/N as Cyn (Tessa, again, is very uncreative)...
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...and for some reason, Cyn or the Solver, which ever theory you subscribe to, decided to wear Tessa as a skin suit for some twisted reason. It did help her with the Captcha. Also scary because this doesn't have the right proportions for an adult (unless Cyn really forced that skin on), which leads me to believe that this is a Younger Tessa, and she faked having an older voice. Maybe I shouldn't call her my wife... I'm sure Eldritch J is still available :^)
(Seriously, the eyes are burnt out, leaving two eye holes over the visor, so she gives herself two X eyes so it looks better. Also yeah we found out what that thing on the "It Came From Copper-9" poster came from. It really was Cyn or Skyn)
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Just a frame of the final...frame... for coolness. I'm probably also going to use this for a background. Also, this is definitely Copper-9. You can see the ring and ringless moon together on the right. Uzi somehow got sent to orbit after falling in the meat hole
Well that was all for now. This series has consumed me entirely, body and soul, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Goodbye and goodnight
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mypoisonedvine · 9 months
Note
another idea for dr crane but i'm afraid it might be too similar to thoughtless so please just ignore if it is!!: from personal experience, being a patient of his who is seeing him bc of sexual trauma. fear of penetration due to previous sexual assault. and ofc he's all about exposure therapy. and you wanna trust him so so bad bc he wants what's best for you, he's encouraging you ("you deserve to embrace your sexuality, you get past this one barrier and you're free"), but you start to fight back. and he takes personal offense bc he's your doctor, why don't you trust his expertise? but then it starts to feel good~
idk i picture reader trying with a toy in front of him but he gets impatient sees she's struggling with going that extra step further so he takes control either with the toy or himself.
warnings: not actually that dark (I mean, it is cause he's her therapist lol but he's not nonconning her) but still manipulation, slightly medical kink?, praise kink
(oops this turned out pretty long how did that happen? lmao)
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"Did you try what we discussed last week?" he asked, and you pressed your knees together as you looked down and shook your head. "Really? You seemed very positive about it before."
"I was," you admitted. "It seemed really easy-- just sort of training myself, you know. But then I got home and... I guess it was a little overwhelming."
"Hm," he said, and you started to feel guilty for disappointing him. "That's interesting-- it seems like you were more comfortable here than at home. I figured it would be the other way around."
"Yeah, that would make more sense, I guess," you shrugged, "but-- I dunno..."
"Do you want to try again?" he wondered.
"I do," you admitted, "but I'm nervous that I'll start panicking again..."
"Then why don't you try here?"
You tensed up at just the suggestion; "Wouldn't that be... I mean, isn't that...?"
"I'm a medical doctor," he reminded you with a chuckle, "I've seen much worse. This is simply part of your treatment. I want you to get better."
You took a deep breath, nodding. "Okay," you decided. "Okay, I can try it."
"Great," he smiled, uncrossing his legs and resetting his clipboard in his lap. "We agreed before that you'd be more comfortable with your fingers than silicone dilators, is that still--?"
"Yes," you interrupted, "definitely. Feels too... clinical, otherwise."
He nodded, and there was a brief silence.
"So, do I just... start?"
"I'd like you to try," he said gently.
You noticed that his gaze never broke away from you, but you looked down into your lap as you started to slowly spread your legs. "So I just.. reach under my dress?"
"That should be fine," he encouraged. "There's nothing to be afraid of-- this is a safe space."
You nodded in agreement, pulling up your dress enough to reach into your panties. Sighing, you tried not to let nerves get the better of you as you pushed your lips apart with your fingers. But still, the anxiety was bubbling up, and you pressed the tip of your finger to your hole only to feel resistance alongside your distress. "I-- I don't think I can--"
"It's alright," he soothed, "start with the outside first-- stimulate your clitoris."
You choked on a laugh, still too nervous to look at him. "You really are a medical doctor..."
"What, too formal?" he chuckled. "Alright... rub your clit."
That shocked you even more than the clinical language; but it made you pulse inside, too. "O-okay..."
You pressed your fingers against the bud, trying to rub it, but it didn't really feel like anything-- like rubbing your elbow or something. Jonathan corrected you right away: "Not so hard," he said, "start gently."
"Sorry," you breathed, shutting your eyes.
"No-- it's fine," he assured, "I just want to help."
He was right, though; when you lessened the pressure and gently rubbed in circles, it started to feel good-- slowly, but surely. When your next breath came out shaky, you heard him hum with satisfaction.
"Is that better?" he asked.
"Yes," you answered, but you didn't mean for it to be a moan.
"I think you're ready," he informed you-- and something about his voice, it was lower than before, it was different... it was making you wet.
"Ready... for what?" you whispered, daring to open your eyes and see the darkness in his expression as he watched you.
"Ready to fuck yourself with your fingers."
"Oh," you sighed, feeling like you'd been punched in the gut-- in the best possible way. "Okay..."
"Just one to start," he encouraged, "put a finger inside yourself, nice and slow."
You sighed as you pressed the finger up to your hole again, smiling as you realized it was more open-- and wet-- than before. You gently pressed in further, finding some pressure but pushing through it until you were knuckle deep in yourself. You smiled happily; "I did it," you breathed, "oh my god, I-- I never thought I'd--"
"Don't stop," he cooed, "move it back and forth. If you do well enough, you can add a second finger."
You figured he meant it that you would be able to add a second finger, but it almost sounded like a bargain, like a reward. Do what I say and I'll let you add a second, or something. Surely that wasn't what he meant.
"A little faster," he encouraged as you pumped the finger. "That's it, very good."
You whimpered, biting down on your lip to hide your moan. You wanted him to say that again, to tell you that you were doing this correctly.
"Add the second now," he instructed, his own voice suddenly sounding a little hoarse and needy. "Stretch yourself out-- and tell me how it feels."
"It feels good," you panted as you started to add your second finger, whining at the stretch. "Fuck, I-- will they both fit?"
He chuckled a little-- a low, rough sound-- and promised you: "Yes, they'll fit. You can take a lot more than two fingers, with some patience."
You hadn't even imagined being able to do more than this-- for years, you hadn't been able to put anything inside you, and now here you were... fingering yourself in front of your therapist. "How much more?" you wondered, hardly imagining how it could be possible.
There was a long, long pause; you worried he hadn't heard you. Looking at him again, you found him watching with a tight jaw.
"How much more can I take, Dr. Crane?" you asked again.
"You can take anything I give you," he answered tensely.
A shiver ran up your spine; "F-fuck," you whimpered, and your walls pulsed around your fingers.
"You're going to come, aren't you?" he noticed, and you nodded. "Good."
You gasped.
"Very good," he egged you on, seeing the effect it had on you; your head tilted back as you pushed your fingers into yourself faster. "You're doing very well for me-- now I just need to see you come. I just need you to make yourself come."
"Yes, yes," you chanted, hips rocking, moans growing louder. "It feels good-- fuck, Doctor, I--"
"I know," he soothed, "just let it happen. Keep going. Come for me."
It hit you all at once, a heavy and numbing feeling that left you shaking on his couch; he purred out his praises, telling you how good you were doing, and it only made the feeling stronger.
When you exhausted yourself, you stilled; there was a moment of silence, just your panting filling the air, until you found the strength to meet his gaze again. He was smiling at you sweetly, looking oddly similar to how he always did at the end of a session. "That was incredible progress," he said proudly. "You should be very impressed with yourself."
You sighed as you nervously pulled your fingers out of yourself. "I-- do you have a tissue I can wipe these with?" you asked nervously.
"No need," he said, "you should taste it."
"Wh-what?" you choked out, your face even warmer than before.
"Just taste it-- I think you'll like it," he encouraged.
Though you hesitated for a second, you brought your wet fingers to your lips and gently licked off some of the sticky substance left behind.
"What do you think?" he asked.
"It's sort of strange," you admitted.
"It's an acquired taste," he shrugged, making your heart pound as you realized just from the look in his eyes that this was absolutely a taste he'd acquired... then again, there must have been a reason that he knew even better than you how to touch yourself and make you come.
Then, it was impossible not to imagine what he's like when he does this off the clock-- the way he touches and pleasures the women he takes to bed. You imagined him with his fingers inside lace panties, whispering in her ear about how good she was being for him; you imagined him pushing two inside and promising to give her more; you imagined him making her come, over and over, until he's satisfied and brings those soaked fingers to his lips and calling her delicious.
And even though you tried not to picture who that woman would be, you couldn't help but wonder if he'd like a woman like you... if you were the type he'd do that to, if you weren't his patient.
"Thank you," you blurted out. "I never thought I'd be able to... thank you. It's been a long time since I was able to feel that."
He nodded. "Thank you for trusting me," he replied. Glancing at the clock, he sighed a little through a polite smile: "Oh, look at that, we're out of time for today. This has been a really excellent session."
"Yeah," you agreed as you both stood up, "definitely."
"And next week, we can discuss the next steps in your recovery."
You raised your eyebrows when you heard that, already almost halfway out of the office. "Next steps?" you noticed.
"Yes," he agreed, "you made great progress, but there's still so much more for you to learn."
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bizbat · 2 months
Note
your jason todd hcs are sooooo good omg!!! do you have any hcs specifically for when he has a crush on the reader, like how he might act, specifically if the reader is oblivious and really doesn’t think that she’s his type / thinks he’s joking if he says anything flirty?
When They're In Love - Jason Todd (Crush Edition)
🕸️Spiderverse Masterlist🕸️
🐼JJK Masterlist🐼
~ Fem terms + Pet names used for reader.
~ You can find part one of these hcs here, and part two here.
~ You can find more of my works here.
~ These can be read as a sort of part three/prequel kinda.
~Fic at the end.
~ Tw for : Blood, Knives, Needles, Vomit. (All slight)
~Thank you for asking! Hope you enjoy, sorry this took so long :(
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You would never know that Jason has a crush on you.
For the most part, he wont talk to you any differently than he will anyone else.
Maybe he won't jokingly insult you, or be super sarcastic around you, but I think that's kind of as far as he'd go.
Unless you're a close friend or family member, you'd probably have no clue he had a crush based on the way he talks to you.
But the little actions and things he does for you are so obvious.
He's the type to hold open doors for you, all the while staring other people dead in the eye as it shuts in their face.
He somehow always just "randomly" has your favorite snack on hand, or a whole collection of books by your favorite author.
I think he'd be touchy, unless he knows you don't like being touched.
If you like or don't mind it, he'd have his arm constantly thrown over your shoulder, always be leaning against you, always resting a hand on your hip.
If you're shorter than him, he does that super annoying thing where he rests his elbow on your head.
He is so lame omg.
But bc he's kinda like this with everyone, no one would fault you for not understanding his hints.
He's like the opposite though.
You said hi to him this morning? You must be in love with him.
You smiled at him today instead of Dick? He's already planning the wedding.
What's that? You said he smells nice? Have his babies. (If you can/want to)
Our delusional king.
He doesn't think you don't get his flirting.
He'd think you're fully aware and are flirting back.
Again, our delusional king.
You probably won't get it until something really serious happens and he comes to you instead of Bruce or Roy.
He'd probably try to get into things you're interested in.
Listens to all your favorite songs, reads your favorite books, etc.
And he's not subtle about it bc he is in fact, a loser.
He'll recommend a song by your favorite artist and then be like "idk why but this just reminded me of you lol"
LOSER. Can you guys tell i'm a big believer in the "jason todd is secretly a massive loser" agenda? Cuz I am. :|
And then he listens when you go on rambles about how great the things you like are and how much they mean to you.
I said he'll do things just to hear you talk about them, and I think he'd do that when he has a crush on you too.
He just loves your voice and likes hearing you talk.
He smiles at you so softly when he thinks you aren't looking.
You could be bumming out and he'll look at you with heart eyes like yeah, future spouse right there.
I don't think he'd be a big user of social media, but if you were, he'd get a whole account just to like and comment of your pictures.
user94820860038466 commented: You look very pretty in this picture.
Comments like an old man bc he has very little understanding of the internet.
He'd probably help you take pictures and fight with other people in your comment section if they're too down bad or creepy.
He doesn't strike me as the jealous type bc once again, he's so delusional he pretty much already thinks you're dating.
Nicknames nicknames nicknames.
Calls you so, so many nicknames.
Angel, doll, sweetheart, maybe even babe.
He constantly talks about you when you aren't there.
Lian and Roy know so much about you before they even meet you.
He'd do anything for you.
The store is actually about a mile in the other direction, but yeah he can get you your favorite drink.
He does not like that food at all and the owner of the store despises him, but he will not return to you empty handed best believe.
He was actually going to wear that hoodie today, but it looks so much better on you you should keep it!
~ Drabble Starts Here. ~
It's just like every other night in Gotham City. It's cold, and wet, and it smells like smoke and garbage that's been left out in the sun.
The only barrier between you and the chilled, musty air outside is a single sheet of glass; the fire escape window of your fifth floor apartment. It's comforting. The glass is, of course, bulletproof, and the seal around the sill is tight, so no gases ever manage seep in. It pays to have a decent landlord, especially in Gotham.
It's funny, but you really never think about that window. You mostly keep it shut and locked, except in the summer, when you can smell your neighbor in the building next door cooking all types of delicious aromatic dishes, or when it's just too hot and you decide the risk of heatstroke is greater than the risk of airborne psychosis. It never occurs to you just how well it keeps you safe, just how well it keeps things out.
It occurs to Jason, though. In fact, it's the only thing on his mind as he's gripping his side, frantically trying to prevent too much blood from seeping out of his body.
He'll probably chastise himself later for not being more gentle or respectful, but he's lost too much blood to be thinking straight. With his free hand, he bangs on your window, praying that you're A) at home, and B) not listening to music. He's not too worried about the first one, he knows you never leave your lights on when you're away, but the second one, he's not too sure about.
He bangs, and bangs, and bangs on the glass, a loud, thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk that immediately rouses your from your sleep. You jump up from your spot on the couch, an open book falling from your lap as you dart into your room to grab the knife Jay gave you for protection, before returning to your living room, keeping your back to the wall.
You hold the blade in front of you, nervously gripping the hilt as you listen to the banging, making sure to stay just out of sight as you cautiously creep closer and closer to the noise. It isn't until the banging dies down that you finally get close enough to see the cause.
You gasp at the sight, dropping the knife and trying to tug the window open, before mentally yelling at yourself to unlock it. You drag the weakened behemoth of a man into your apartment, carefully placing his upper body on the floor in front of your window and removing his helmet. Your hand moves to his side, firmly pressing down on his wound, as you stare at him, mouth agape and eyes flooding with concern.
He laughs, a dry chuckle that just sounds like it hurts. "What took ya' doll?" You wanna smack him, but you can do that when he's not bleeding all over your hardwood floors. You tell him to wait, as if he could go anywhere in the state he's in, before rushing to grab the emergency kit he forced you to keep.
"Let-ngh- let me do it." He groans as he attempts to sit up, trying and failing to pull the tweezers from your hand. He doesn't even have the strength to sit back up when you gently push him back down. You clean his wound, all while he holds back winces and groans. You don't hold back, focusing on cutting and cleaning and stitching and wrapping, berating Jason for coming to you of all people.
"What d'ya mean? Of course I'd come to you?" Jason manages between harsh breaths. "Who else would I go to?" He seems genuinely confused, you're his girlfriend, you always come to him when you need help. Why wouldn't he come to you?
"Oh, I don't know, Jason, maybe Bruce, or Roy, or literally anyone else with training to handle this kind of thing!?" It comes out mean, but through his pain he can tell it's coming from a place of true care. You're worried. One of the strongest, most skilled people you know is bleeding out on your floor and you're panicking. Of course you are, you've never had to sew someone up, or dig a bullet out of someone, or try to hold down bile from the heavy smell of blood.
Your hands are shaking like crazy. This isn't a slight graze you can put a bandaid over and seal with a kiss, this is a life threatening wound on someone you care about, and all they've been doing since they came to you is make stupid fucking jokes and try to take things from your hands.
Jason can tell it's getting to you.
It should be the other way around, what with him bleeding out in your living room, but he quiets down, gripping your wrist with his non-blood covered hand. "Hey," He gently strokes your skin with his thumb, repeating himself when you don't move your eyes from his wound. "Hey, look at me Y/n." It's just stern enough to make you obey, without sounding like he's mad at you. "It'll be okay. I'm in good hands." Jason smiles at you, tired and reassuring. It calms your nerves just enough for you to finish sewing his wound shut.
You sit back when you're done, taking in your work once you wrap his stomach with gauze. Jason turns just enough to catch a glimpse, smiling up at you with his stupid, charming smirk. "Not bad, doll. Told ya you had it covered." He lays back, smiling up at you as he lays his head on his arm, the one on his non-injured side. Though he doesn't seem to bothered by the end of it all, you can't say the same.
He takes in your features, your tired, glossy eyes and your pouting lips. It makes his smile drop. You look away, your sad eyes not meeting his own. "I . . . what? What's wrong Y/n?" Jason winces, moving to rest on his elbows to get a better look at your face. "Was it the blood? Or the- was it the window? I'm sorry about that, by the way." You shake your head no at all of his suggestions, taking a breath before turning back to face him.
He can feel his heart hurt at the sight of unshed tears in your eyes. "I . . . I was scared Jay." He pushes himself all the way up when you take your lip into your mouth. He ignores the pain shooting through his side when he pulls you into his arms. "Hey, hey, hey, scared of what? I'm okay. You did good." Those tears finally spill when your arms wrap around his waist, loose as to not further irritate his wound.
"You could've died Jay, a-and I wouldn't be able to-to help you! I can't help you!" You sob into his shoulder. He holds you tightly, pressing his lips to your head as he rubs your back. "Please, please don't cry. I'm okay now, you helped me. I'm all better now." He rocks you both gently, trying to console you. "Sides, if I was gonna die, I'd be happy if it was with my girl."
What?
You freeze in his arms, and he knows he said something wrong. He just doesn't know what. His brain moves a mile a minute as he tries to figure out what it was before you get even more upset. Though, his brain completely shuts down when you stare up at him with those cute, confused eyes. The tears have slowed down, and he's at least thankful for that. "Your . . . girl?" Now he's confused too. "What-what do you mean by that?"
He has to do a double take. "What do you mean? You're my girl, like . . . girlfriend, you know?" Every second that passes only confuses the two of you more. "I'm your girlfriend?" "Ar-aren't you?" You blink at him. Were you? Are you? "Am I?" Somewhere there was cognitive dissonance, Jason just doesn't know for who. "Yeah, we're dating, I thought?" Though, he doesn't feel so confident about that now.
"Oh," You feel your ears grow warm, for the second time now your eyes don't meet his own. "I . . . I didn't know that." You wish you could hide right now, but he's still got his arms wrapped around you. "I mean, unless you don't want to, then-then I'm sorry-" Jason feels maybe even more embarrassed than you as he finally drops his arms, grabbing his helmet and moving to crawl back out the window he came in through. His bullet wound is completely forgotten by now.
He stops when you grip his jacket, shyly staring at the floor as you speak. "No! I w-want to." Your eyes darty up to his, before losing confidence and dropping back to the floor. "I want to be your girlfriend," It comes out a whisper, and when he's silent for a beat too long you worry he's suddenly changed his mind.
"Good. Great. Yeah." He drops back to the floor, sitting cross legged beside you. Internally, he's doing backflips in his mind. "Cool." Later on, he'll ask more questions, but for now, he's satisfied. "Yeah." You shyly play with your clothes, twiddling your thumbs as you sit in silence. You feel like a little girl who just admitted to her crush that she likes him. "Are you-" "I didn't-" You interrupt each other, both of you gesturing for the other to continue. It's a bit of a fight, but Jason makes you go first.
"I was gonna ask if you were hungry. I have some, um, pretzels and stuff. If you want." Jason nods. He follows you into your kitchen, where the two of you quietly and contently eat the iron rich foods you looked up. "What were you going to say, by the way?"
Jason looks up from his plate, the haphazardly prepared meal helping him feel better, though his heart feels pretty good right now anyways. "I didn't know that you didn't know. I thought," he laughs nervously. "I thought, we were dating this whole time." He laughs again when you shake your head. "I didn't know! I thought . . . I don't know, that I wasn't your type, or something."
That's probably the most surprising thing he's heard you say today. Okay it's not, but it's the thing that most catches him off guard.
"Of course you are! You're so sweet, and cute, and nice, and pretty, and you smell really good, and you're funny, and I like your voice, and the way you d-do things . . . and . . . other stuff." Jason stops himself before he can ramble for hours about every single things he loves about you. You wouldn't mind if he did, though. You hide your pleased expression with your hand.
"Me too." It's quiet, but no longer shy. "I like all that "stuff" about you too."
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7ndipity · 10 months
Text
When they call you clingy
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: different scenarios in which they've called you clingy.
Warnings: angst, swearing, depression, jk calls himself an idiot, not proofread.
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon for this request! I'm gonna be honest, these are all over the place. Some are angsty, some are fluffy, Jimin's is just straight-up comfort because apparently he's part of my emotional support squad. Idk, I hope you like them anyway!
Masterlist
Requests are open
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Seokjin: Bickering with Jin was something that happened often, usually over something you both knew was ridiculous to fight over, like the validity of mint chocolate as an ice cream flavor, but both of you were too stubborn to back down.
Tonight's argument: whether holding hands while sleeping was clingy or not.
"I think it's nice." You argued.
"That's because you're clingy!" He retorted.
"I'm clingy?" You asked, offended. "Have you seen you?"
"What?"
"Last week at that party, you couldn't stand me being more than five feet away from you!"
"That's cause Wooseok kept staring at you and I didn't want him trying to make a pass at you." He exclaimed.
You blinked. "That was why?"
"Yes!"
You paused, caught of guard by his admission. "That's kinda sweet."
"Because I'm a sweet boyfriend." He said, still slightly defensive.
"You are." You assented, coming over and kissing him, making him finally crack and give you a small grin.
"Can we please just go to bed now?" He asked.
"Will you let me hold your hand?"
He sighed. "Yes."
"Then yes."
Yoongi: It was late in the afternoon when you brought him a coffee while he was working on his laptop and, noticing the concentrated frown on his face, leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"Agh, clingy." He grumbled, not with any venom, just his usual tone, but it was still enough to make you draw back, excusing yourself so he could work.
Were you clingy? You knew you were more physically affectionate than he was, but he'd never seemed to find it bothersome, but you couldn't help second guessing yourself after his comment.
Later, when he came through to join you, he noticed you were a bit quiet, but didn't think much of it at first, until you sat down on the opposite end of the sofa from him.
"C'mere." He said, patting the space next him.
"I'm good here right now." You said, making him frown in confusion.
"Is something wrong?" He asked.
"No."
"Then why are you way over there?"
"I'm just trying to give you some space."
"I don't want space." He pouted.
"But you said I was clingy."
"I didn't say it was a bad thing." He said, sliding over next to you. "You know I'm not the best at showing my feelings, but that's one of the things I admire about you. You're not afraid to be the one to reach out first, and sometimes I need that. I need clingy."
"Really?" You quirked a brow at him.
"A little, just a little." He warned, trying to hold his hands up in defense, but it was too late, you'd already tackled him.
Hoseok: It was a clear night as the two of you walked around the city, enjoying one of your first proper date nights since he'd got back from tour, and you were taking full advantage of it, trying to keep as close to him as possible, whether holding his hand or wrapping your arms round his waist.
"My clingy baby." He chuckled as you wound yourself around him yet again. It wasn't said unkindly, but for some reason the word kept bouncing around in your head, making you self-consciously shift back to just holding hands. Were you being too clingy? You had always thought that Hobi liked your affectionate nature, but now you were worried if it was a little too much, even for him. Noticing your change in mood, he gave your hand a little squeeze. "You okay?"
"Mhm." You hummed, still thinking.
"You sure?" He asked.
"Am I being too clingy?" You asked, glancing over him.
"What?! Of course not!" He said, stunned. "I was just teasing you earlier, Baby. Trust me, you could never be too clingy for me."
"You sure?" You asked.
"Definitely." He said, opening his arms. "Now get back over here."
Namjoon: Joon had been working almost non-stop for weeks and you could tell it was taking a toll on him, the fatigue clear on his face, but he rebuffed you at every attempt to try and help him relax.
"Can you just give me some goddamn space, you're so clingy!" He'd finally snapped one evening, the final straw in your mind.
That was three days ago, and you hadn't been back to his place since, ignoring his calls and texts. You hated shutting him out the same way he had done you, but you also weren't going stand by and put up with his behavior anymore. If it was space that he wanted, he could have it.
Until you open the door the next morning to a very disheveled looking Joon.
"What are you-?"
"I'm sorry." He blurted out. "For acting the way I have, and for yelling at you like that. I know you just trying to look out for me, you didn't deserve any of that." He paused to catch his breath, seeming to brace himself before looking back up at you. "The past few days have been absolute hell without you, but it made me realize how much I love you, and I know it's shitty timing to say that, but I-"
You shut him up with a quick kiss, knowing if you didn't stop him, he would probably keep talking for at least a half hour.
"You wanna come in?" You asked, to which he quickly nodded.
He still had some apologizing to do, but it was a start.
Jimin: Some day are just shit. Some days feel like you're just circling the drain, constantly the verge of tipping over the edge into the deep abyss, and all you want is something to hold onto and keep you from falling.
Which is why, when Jimin came home late that evening and fell on the bed next to you, you had immediately wrapped yourself around him and refused to let go.
"What's got you so clingy?" He'd teased, trying to tilt your chin up, but you wouldn't let him, tucking your face further into his neck.
"Babe?" He asked, more worried now, noticing you shaking slightly against him. "What's wrong?"
You just shook your head. "Bad day."
"I'm sorry." He said softly, understanding the situation now. "Can I do something? Do you need anything?"
"Just you." You mumbled, your breathing unsteady as you tried to keep from crying.
He held you tighter. "I'm here. I've got you."
Taehyung: "I like this." He mumbled, tracing patterns along your back with his fingers.
"Yeah?"
"Mhm, I like it when you're clingy."
As soon as he'd walked through the door, you had latched onto him, having not seen him in over two weeks while he was traveling.
You frowned, propping yourself up on your hands to look at him. "I'm not clingy."
"That would sound a lot more convincing if you weren't laying on top of me right now." He chuckled.
Shooting him a look, you moved to roll off of him, but he stopped you, holding you tightly by the waist. "Where do you think you're going?"
"I don't wanna be clingy." You said stubbornly.
"But I like it!" He laughed.
"Well, I don't! Being clingy isn't supposed to be a good thing!" You said.
"I think it is, at least the way you do it." He said, rubbing circles on you sides with his thumbs. "It's nice to know that you like me as much as I like you."
"So, you're admitting you're clingy too?" You poked him.
"You had to ask?" He suddenly rolled till you were pinned under him. "Darling, you have no idea how clingy I can be."
Jungkook: It had caught you off guard when you overhead him talking to one of his friends after dinner. "Y/n's the same way, they're so clingy!" He'd laughed. It might have only been a joke, but it cut you deeper than you cared to admit.
You knew you tended to stick him more when you went out, but he'd always seemed okay with it. Till now now anyway.
For the rest of the evening, you couldn't help but shy away a bit from him, keeping a little distance between you, causing him to grow increasingly confused.
"Are you mad a me?" He asked, once you were alone in the car.
"Do you really think I'm clingy? You asked, not bothering to beat around the bush.
"What?"
"That's what you said to Mingyu." You said, looking down.
"That was- I was just joking around." He said trying to keep his tone light, but it became clear by your lack of response that you weren't amused. "I don't think you're clingy."
"Then why say it?"
"Because-" He sighed. "Because I'm an idiot. I was just trying to be cool, and I know that sounds dumb and childish, but I don't know how else to explain it." He looked over at you. "I'm sorry."
You studied him for a moment. "I expect cuddles as compensation for this."
"Of course." He agreed.
"And don't call my boyfriend an idiot."
"You got it." He grinned at you, starting the car.
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filmbyjy · 2 months
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Hehe imma send multiple
Maybe something like bf Jungwon & y/n being shy w skin ship but like both of y’all are clingy idk how to explain it
HOLD ME TIGHT
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a/n: why is this me. like I am clingy but I am so shy on skinship and plus I constantly overthink things😪 also so sorry if this was bad 😭
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both you and jungwon were currently at a cat cafe. since, you wanted to play around with the cats. jungwon nuzzles his nose right on the kitten in his hands. He smiles and continues to do so over and over again as the kitten attempts to lick his nose. All of this happening right in front of you and you can’t help but feel a little sad.
well the better term would be jealousy. as you could say since the kitten was pretty much getting his attention way more than you. you were just a witness to the cute action that was happening in front of you. you craved for this type of cute affection with jungwon. however, you weren't that brave to voice out your own thoughts.
while other couples in public could easily display affection, you can't help but get shy over it. it made you feel disappointed in yourself. why couldn't you over come this awkward feeling. you had a boyfriend that was probably more than ready to give you affection you craved but you always hesitated to do so.
"(name), look. this kitten keeps meowing back whenever i meow." jungwon calls out, seemingly pulling you out of your small bubble of thoughts.
he meows and the kitten meows back. he laughs before pecking the kitten's small head. oh how adorable he was. you didn't understand his cute little tangents he liked to go on whenever you two hang out. sometimes, you even wondered if he was a cat. he seemed so...cat-like and playful.
you opened your mouth to say something but nothing really comes out, it was like the words that you wanted to express to him were not coming out. "jungwon?"
he hums, "yes, baby?" he continues to give the kitten a little more attention but stops a to look up at you.
"i- nevermind." he could sense the slight hesitation in your voice and so he carefully puts the kitten down.
"is there something wrong?"
"it's nothing. just something stupid." you brushed it off but jungwon goes to hold your hand which he rarely does since he too was shy with skinship. this was a big step that jungwon took and it was completely out of concern and love.
"tell me, i want to know whenever you're struggling." he lightly squeezes your hand. his adorable cat-like eyes staring into yours.
"i- can we cuddle?" you hesitantly voiced out.
"of course, we're dating. why can't we do that?"
"i know but...i'm scared that you might not want to cuddle. besides, we are still early in our relationship." you pout.
jungwon tilts his head. "are you kidding me? of course i do. you're my girlfriend. i wanna cuddle with you."
"what if you don't like it?"
jungwon playfully scoffs, "how could i hate anything about you? you're just saying random things now." he gets closer to your face. "i like everything about you. now, will you let me be your first ever official cuddle buddy?"
you nod and so jungwon goes to wrap his arms around you. you laid your head against his chest as the multiple cats were lazing around the both of you. jungwon's heart beats were calming. it actually made you sleepy. you could feel jungwon leave a small little peck on your forehead. just a light one.
"we should back to your home. you look tired." jungwon whispers.
"mmm, we should." you tiredly mumbled.
and so you and jungwon went back to your apartment.
"we're taking steps to our relationship. i'm proud of you for voicing out what you want to do." jungwon says.
"i tried to. i don't know if i'll be ready to fully voice out. after all, you are my first boyfriend and the only person i've done some sort of affection."
"don't worry, if you can't do it. i'll initiate it first. i tried my best today too. i'm not that great at showing affection too." jungwon admits.
"really?"
he hums, "yeah, i usually some sort don't do affection. you can ask the hyungs. they probably can tell you about it."
you blushed. "so this is a first time for you too?"
"yup. honestly, i think i'll do my best. i wanna see you blush and get flustered more often. it's cute." you groaned at jungwon's words. "that blush is reserved only for me, right?"
"yes." you looked away from him. jungwon laughs.
"good. now, let's get you to sleep. my little princess."
my little princess...
you liked the ring to it. jungwon's little princess. you couldn't wait to see how the next few months and even years would go with him.
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sixstepsaway · 6 months
Text
so here's the thing
i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it
and i get where they're coming from
but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.
i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try
the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.
that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.
(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)
then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)
and finally there's ed
ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways
and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper
friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.
except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.
so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed
if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?
except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.
stede's not enjoying it.
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i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches
anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it
and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you
but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?
that can be fun.
but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again
and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.
i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.
explicitly. explicitly a pattern.
not just one toe but three.
jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"
and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get
ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it
and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"
but stede isn't
ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here
i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.
it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?
especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.
ALSO
having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal
i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no
and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!
the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place
i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person
ugh
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