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cadmusfly · 4 months

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Tag Yourself: Unabridged Shitty Drawing Marshal of the Empire Edition

Yes All 26 Of Them + Bonus 2

drawn and compiled by yours truly, initial and probably inaccurate research assisted by Chet Jean-Paul Tee, additional research from Napoleon and his Marshals by A G MacDonnell, Swords Around A Throne by John R Elting and a bunch of other books and Wikipedia pages

captions under images

mike (Michel Ney)

- full of every emotion

- always has ur back

joe (Joachim Murat)

- it's called fashion sweetheart

- will not stop flirting

lens (Jean Lannes)

- bestie who will call u out on ur shit

- does not like their photo taken

bessie (Jean-Baptiste Bessieres)

- actually nice under the ice

- was born in the wrong generation

dave (Louis-Nicolas Davout)

- overachiever

- 20 year old boomer

salt (Jean-de-Dieu Soult)

- people think ur up to no good

- doesn’t cope with sudden changes 2 plans

andrew (Andre Massena)

- actually up to no good

- sleepy until special interest is activated

bertie (Louis-Alexandre Berthier)

- carries the group project

- voted most likely to make a stalker shrine

auggie (Pierre Augereau)

- shady past full of batshit stories

- will not stop swearing in the christian minecraft server

lefrank (François Joseph Lefebvre)

- dad friend

- in my day we walked to school uphill both ways

big mac (Étienne Macdonald)

- brutally honest

- won't let you borrow their charger even if they have 100%

gill (Guillaume Brune)

- love-hate relationship with group chats

- pretends not to care, checks social media every 2 minutes

ouchie (Nicholas Oudinot)

- needs to buy bandages in bulk

- a little aggro

pony (Józef Antoni Poniatowski)

- can't swim

- tries 2 hard to fit in, everyone secretly loves them anyway

grumpy (Emmanuel de Grouchy)

- can't find them when u need them

- complains about the music, never suggests alternatives

bernie (Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte)

- always talks about their other friendship group

- most successful, nobody knows how

monty (Auguste de Marmont)

- does not save u a seat

- causes drama and then lurks in the background

monch (Bon-Adrien Jeannot de Moncey)

- last to leave the party

- dependable

morty (Édouard Mortier)

- everyone looks up 2 them literally and figuratively

- golden retriever friend

jordan (Jean-Baptiste Jourdan)

- volunteers other people for things

- has 20+ alarms but still oversleeps

kelly (François Christophe de Kellermann)

- old as balls but still got it

- waiting in the wings

gov (Laurent de Gouvion Saint-Cyr)

- infuriatingly modest about their art skills

- thinks too much before they speak

perry (Catherine-Dominique de Pérignon)

- low-key rich, only buys things on sale

- “let’s order pizza” solution to everything

sachet (Louis-Gabriel Suchet)

- dependable friend who always brings snacks

- lowkey keeps the group together

cereal (Jean-Mathieu-Philibert Sérurier)

- unnervingly methodical and precise about fun

- will delete your social media after u die

vic (Claude Victor-Perrin)

- loves spicy food but can’t handle it

- says they're fine, not actually fine

Bonus!

june (Jean Andoche Junot)

- chaotic disaster bisexual

- will kill a man 4 their bestie

the rock (Géraud Duroc)

- keeps a tidy house

- mom friend with snacks

#napoleon’s marshals #napoleonic era #napoleonic shitposting #napoleonic wars #history shitposting #cadmus draws #I thought it would be funny if it was hand drawn #i had to draw these over a few weeks or else my RSI ridden fingers would explode #I will reblog this a few times because this is so stupid and I’m proud of this #yes chatgpt helped because I’m not actually familiar with most of the 26 #ended up editing a lot of it but some entries are less based on history and more based on vibes #and as we know vibes are extremely accurate

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dykeinthedark · 13 days

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venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

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ilikeyoshi · 7 months

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another day another annoying modern greek goddess per3phone girlboss take

#sorry i'm sorry her whole story is about how mothers of the time had their daughters taken by death and men #how they had no power to stop this #so it drives me a little crazy when ppl completely trash that for a “girl escapes her dumb mom for a punk boyfriend” sORRY YOURE BORING #IT IS SUCH A MEANINGFUL STORY ABOUT WOMEN'S SUFFERING AND AUTONOMY THROUGHOUT THE HISTORY OF MANKIND #IT'S ABOUT HOW NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE SOMEONE DEATH WILL ROB YOU OF HER #AND THE HORRIFYING WAY MEN OF ERAS PAST AND PRESENT ARE SO SIMILAR TO DEATH #HOW MUCH OF HISTORY HAVE MEN HAD THE POWER TO REMOVE A DAUGHTER FROM HER FAMILY FOREVER? HOW TRAGIC IS THAT #WHETHER SHE LIVES OR DIES YOU WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. YOU CAN NEVER TELL HER YOU LOVE HER AGAIN #but everyone wants to turn the god who kidnapped and assaulted her into a hot goth wifeguy. whatever #sorry i saw someone say “hades 'kidnaps' persephone” in air quotes and i almost lost my shit #im not trying to say this is Problematic or Cancellable or whatever btw i'm just mad that a story about women's love and grief #became another stupid romeo and juliet ass love story. congratulations you missed the ENTIRE point #greek mythos have such heartbreaking and beautiful stories and u ppl wanna turn it into some twilight shit fuck off #yoshi talks

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tmae3114 · 1 year

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.......actually, it’s really interesting that Jaania repeatedly accuses Warlic of manipulation, given that everything we’ve seen of Alexander Saga Era Warlic was, all things considered, remarkably straightforward

#dragonfable #dragonfable spoilers #Alexander Saga Era Warlic thought he was better than everyone around him and he made ZERO effort to hide it #the closest I can think of is the''I just got back from gathering regeants'' but that's. not untrue.#he DID just get back from collecting regeants #he's just leaving out the part where he and Alex were racing to do it fastest #to try and make himself look cooler #which is kind of a stretch to call manipulation that's just a teenager showboating #so for Jaania to say ALL SHE'S EVER KNOWN FROM HIM is MANIPULATION.....#what is going on inside her head?#is she deliberately interpreting everything in the worst possible light to justify things to herself?#is her memory distorted from the years of isolation?#given her history of projection. is this more of the same? and if so... who is she projecting onto Warlic here?#unless I'm DRASTICALLY misremembering something because it's stupid o'clock in the morning

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uncharted-constellations · 2 years

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Also a dumb thought spurred on by me and @salt-water-sable 's discussions on the issues with the Chibnall era, and my love for Chris Noth in the Good Wife: I present to you the Master Swap Idea:

The Thirteen Era "Master" is actually The Rani, who is pretending to be the Master, Pretending to be O. Getting involved in a conspiracy about one of your childhood friends getting experimented on by the higher ups in the government, killing timelords just to see what would happen if they were converted into Cybermen, and the general cruelty of everything seems more her style than The Masters, especially after all of Missy's development.

(Yes I know the audiobooks and novels explain this development, but only because Chibbs was too lazy to do so, therefor im not considering it canon. Additional media should be like improv, 'Yes, And' or 'But, What If' not 'Well Actually It Does Make Sense If You Do This-')

So who is the Actual Master then? if you hadn't already been clued in by the Chris Noth mention, He's Jack Robertson. Regenerated into an American and decided, rather than being good or evil, he would just assemble the character traits that would annoy the Doctor the most, all into one persona. He's doing the politican bit again, he's making fun of her morals and pretending to be an idiot while doing it. Building a hotel over some radioactive waste? Child's play, Time Lords can handle much tougher stuff, the giant spiders are just a bonus. He's having the time of his life, but only because he isn't aware that the Rani's stolen his name (yet.)

The Doctor and the Master finally team up on the same team again, not out of a sense of duty or morality, but because he can't believe Rani thought they could steal his name. You go by Missy for one regeneration and suddenly your shit is up for grabs? Not on his watch.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #thirteen #the doctor #the master #the rani #dhawan!rani #listen...#chris noth can play a much better corrupt politician so the only explanation is that hes doing a bit #also the timeless child is dumb #i dont care about 'it changes the history of the show' or that angle it just doesnt work #yeah the doctor was the doctor before the doctor picked the name the doctor #and they had a blue police box tardis before the tardis got stuck as a blue police box #it was also a suprise to thirteen that the timelords did bad and sketchy things despite the entire rest of doctor who canon #like listen #the doctor being different than the rest of their species and getting experimented on because of it?#can absolutely buy into it #the actual choices chibnall made? stupid as fuck #i might watch the centennial special if exclusively for the regeneration scene but probably not #i just cant wait for this era to be over and i hope thirteen gets the sixth doctor treatment by big finish #even if i personally think her voice for thirteen is obnoxious #for supposedly being her natural accent it does not sound natural in the least when she speaks

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syekick-powers · 11 months

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my curse is that even though i was too young to really get into certain eras of REALLY early internet culture, i was still exposed to some of the memes from older sites via my brother and those memes are permanently burned into my brain forever.

#sye's babbles #does anyone on tumblr know what ytmnd is.#i still remember so many stupid memes from that site and yet i never see it even tangentially mentioned when discussing internet history.#sometimes it feels like a product of my childhood fever dreams.#i know it existed and was popular at the time but no one fucking talks about it.#i still have music in my itunes library that were saved from a ytmnd soundtrack collection.#it feels like the last vestige of a long bygone era.

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aroacehanzawa · 1 year

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The Half Life of Valery K by Natasha Pulley would be so good if it was good

#i'm gonna have to revive my goodreads account just to leave a bad review AND send 10 million ranting voice messages to my friend tomorrow #ok first the premise was good and based on true history about the ussr's secret nuclear testing facility City 40 #the first half of the book had well-written mystery and the atmosphere was truly chilling it was a great cold war era thriller #unfortunately this book has too many flaws and just things that are straight up bad #such as: the mc is an uwuified scientist ex prisoner who GUESS WHAT worked directly under joseph mengele on human experiments???#and it's just like but uwu he was still young and had no choice #well the author had a choice and if you're gonna write something like that at least explore the topic properly????????#oh yeah and an entire prisoner train carriage of women gets raped by all the male prisoner except for valery our heroic mc #who couldn't do anything about it then until he laters kills all of those men with a bomb so he gets a traumatic AND a heroic backstory #and then the love interest: the kgb man with a wife and 4 kids he dearly loves but who conveniently get written off at the end #with no clear resolution as to what actually happened to his family after he defects abroad and he barely even mentions them afterwards????#oh yeah and our mc has some wildly anachronistic sjw-esque tumblr feminisms that the author forced in seemingly to make up for her #treatment of the actual female characters in the book???#the science was sound for the most part except the so-called scientist characters were being STUPID about it #they're like ohhh i wonder what are these weird mud geysers that keep popping off when we're not on volcanic ground #THAT'S THE GODDAMN HEAT FROM THE RADIOACTIVE WASTE AND I KNEW THAT FROM THE FIRST MENTION OF THESE GEYSERS #also the authir doesn't know how russian surnames work and wildly overestimates the amount of coffee that russians drink #and wildly underestimates the alcohol tolerance of 50+ year old bulky kgb officers and doesn't seem to know that the russian language #is gendered. like she writes a whole monologue for valery complaining about being called mister by the english because it's gendered????#also the whole resolution of the book is like a mediocre action thriller airport novel compared to the tense and atmospheric beginning #nah i'm going to sleep. good night

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jacksmusesdrv3 · 2 years

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The other day my partner made to start a new game on Yakuza 0. He was playing for a bit (past the obligatory karaoke section- which I’d failed miserably the first time to prompt that ‘how does it feel to have no sense of rhythm’ comment from Nishikiyama. ...I got revenge later. Such spite). Anyway... problem is he was on my login by accident (I’d just got finished playing Genshin for the night). So he had to do it again but on his.

When I was doing my usual dailies today I thought to hop back on Yakuza 0 for the first time in... a while, just to check the save was still ok. On my save I go, and when was the last? September 2017. Yeah, that’s all in order, since Chris didn’t save anyway. Hm, that’s just a bit before I started playing DRV3 actually. Five years ago. I watched him play through Yakuza 0 before we got V3, and I watched him play it first, before picking it up myself (and later forgetting I did).

This doesn’t really have much of a point except holy shit, it’s nearly been five years now?!? It’s been a tumultuous time to be sure, but nonetheless I remember it fondly partly because of Yakuza 0 preceding it, and remembering where we were and what we were doing around then is just really... comforting, despite how foggy it is now. I made a new save of Y0 for that reason and kept that old one untouched. Maybe I’ll actually finish the extra one day besides dicking around in the arcade and beating up punks for cash

#..to be fair it's the Bubble era. they have a LOT of cash #plus they started it!!#play stupid games win stupid prizes-#okay I'm joking-#drv3 #this wasn't really about it but it's just a little personal history. so #in it goes-#bloggings #okay I need to make. a list... or something #*still kind of disturbed that i memory-holed my experience of playing V3 #like How the Fuck-

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dragonwysper · 4 months

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Y'all why is Essarhaddon stirring so much shit in 7th century BCE

#he has so much beef with everybody what #literally everybody is involved with this motherfucker #except for the olmecs but they're in a completely different continent so they don't count for this #apparently he brought a great era of peace and rejuvenation to the city he was in though?? i'm ???#he completely rebuilt that city btw #people were just like ok !! and let him do it #he died in 674 and had his son take over #and literally within that year babylonia revolted and overthrew him lmaooo #this is so fucking funny to me #important context: i wanted to make an animatic featuring some of velkurpeni's lore and i wanted to know what civilizations were active-#-when she showed up so i could accurately draw everybody she talks to #i. think i might be autistic guys. /s #augh anyway #Essarhaddon #please make his stupid ass a tag he's so funny #tag rambles #history jokes #history #esarhaddon #< sorry i just realized since there's a couple different spellings of his name out there that he may very well be a tag #i was right!!!#there are indeed a few posts about him #very pleased to join in on the esarhaddon-posting

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kirbyddd · 6 months

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despite only briefly playing it at some random time in a hellish past i dont even remember, oreshika tainted bloodlines really had something unique that's made it subconsciously stick with me through the years, so that i always recall it when certain elements of old japan are invoked

among all the more serious high-art/historical depictions and commentaries I've encountered, oreshika has been the one piece of media that naturally feels the most rich and comprehensive illustration of that era of medieval japan to me, despite not even using a true historical setting.

the myriad swirling paradoxical counterpoints of culture and history in an era of total commodification of the human being... the way oreshika uses a fantasy setting and mechanics to bring that essence to life firsthand through game experience rather than try to depict it conceptually has been more effective than any other historical fiction ive encountered.

#like id expect to recall okami or something as that was my first exposure to medieval japan aesthetic and myth #but oreshika had something richly historically resonant in a way that's hard to describe...#whenever i learn about something from those eras im often already familiar with its dynamic from oreshika even though i dont know its name #craziest part is i never even played the game THAT much. like a decent amount for a week or two but that's about it.#idk man the story is and was ass back then too but somehow the game captured something completely unique #also banger game too despite the shortcomings. although maybe i didnt get far enough to get to the point where they get really annoying #i remember everyone hated the mary sue forced into your party and the story #but i didnt really care so much cause to me it felt much more like the plotline was just the backdrop setting the pacing for the game #the real story was the emergent history of your clans and bloodlines #which yeah- it was stupid having to accommodate some rando for the main story all the time. but i didnt find it that game-disrupting #but maybe you get more sick of it as the game goes on or through subsequent playthroughs or something #<- also i never did finish the game though so maybe it did get too annoying or boring and i just dont remember #or maybe not and i just ran oit of time - cause i just didnt get to play much either way back then #anyways this wasnt about the gameplay this was about the historical value. really really unique and powerful approach to historical fiction #using a nonhistorical setting to bring the dynamics of a historical era to life #“historical metaphor” if you will #really cool stuff

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ecrivainsolitaire · 1 year

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Fantastic Beasts is suspended indefinitely.

Musk is begging for cash because he made the stupidest purchase in internet history.

Zucky Wucky is hemorrhaging cash because the Metaverse goal of becoming the NFT successor of real estate speculation was met with the deserved mockery at how stupid it was.

Trump is finally being properly prosecuted for crimes he unquestionably and very inconspicuously committed.

Alex Jones owes a billion dollars to Sandy Hook victims.

The Tories are imploding in a schism that might actually result in the collapse of the British empire.

Putin has ran out of army and crawled pathetically to the corner a tiny insurgent army pushed him towards, decades of military propaganda burnt away in months.

Prime Minister Shinzō Abe died with no glory.

The GOP is so confused after the Trump era they don't even know how to run their grifts anymore.

Rings of Power was such a mediocre release Amazon could potentially drop Prime Video altogether.

Turns out 2022 was really the "find out" year. It took a while but I'm loving this season finale so far.

#fuck trump #fuck jk rowling #fuck elon musk #fuck jeff bezos #fuck mark zuckerberg #fuck the tories #fuck the gop #fuck alex jones #fuck shinzo abe #fuck putin #fuck around and find out #2022

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aenramsden · 1 month

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The following is not my idea; it was the original brainchild of a friend of mine named Omicron, with help from various others including EarthScorpion, TenfoldShields, @havocfett and ShintheNinja:

So, you know what I want to do one day? Run (or play in) a D&D campaign in which the Big Bad Super Dragon that is fuckoff ancient and unfathomably powerful and whose actions have shaped history and bent the course of nations and had repercussions on the whole culture and society in the region where it's set; the Bonus Special Boss for some endgame optional quest after you defeat the direct BBEG and win the campaign...

... is a white dragon.

To explain this for people not deep into 5e monster lore; D&D dragons are sapient beings, and known for their instincts and tendencies, and whenever you meet an big evil dragon that's really old it's usually this ancient creature of terrible intellect Smaug-ing it up all over the place.

Except white dragons are fucking stupid. Like, they're still capable of speech and thought! They're just… feral, hungry morons. And you almost never see them portrayed as ancient wyrms for that reason; they lack majesty. Critical Role did it, yes, but even then, Vorugal is explicitly the most bestial member of the Chroma Conclave, and the others are the more intelligent planners and long-term threats. An ancient white as a nation-defining endboss, though; not a thug for a smarter master but as the strongest and biggest threat around is just not the sort of thing you tend to see.

Adventurers: "Oh wise Therunax the Munificent, gold dragon of Law and Good, what can you tell us adventurers of the evil dragons which rule this land?" Therunax the Munificent, 500-year old Gold Dragon: "Good adventurers, know this: this land is torn apart by the evil of Tiamat's spawn. The eastern marches are the dwelling of Furinar the Plague-Bringer, black dragoness whose hoard is a thousand sicknesses contained in the body of her tributes. The southern volcanic mountains are the roosting of Angrar the Wrathful, the fiery red dragon, who brings magmatic fury on all who do not worship him. And the northern peaks are home to Face-Biter Mike, the oldest and most powerful of all, of whom I dread to speak." Adventurers: "F-Face-Biter Mike???" Therunax: "Oh yes, verily indeed; two thousand years has Mike lived, and his eyes have seen the rise and fall of five empires, and a hundred and score champions have sought to slay him; and each and every one he bit their fucking face off."

Like... I want to see a campaign where Face-Biter Mike is genuinely the most powerful dragon in the region, if not the entire world. Where sometimes he descends on a city to grab himself some meatsicles and causes a localised ice age by the beat of his vast wings and the frigid wastes of his mighty breath and by the chill his mere presence brings to everything for miles around him, and everyone just has to deal with that for the next decade. An entire era of civilization comes to an end, an empire falls, tens of thousands starve in the winter, all because Mike wanted a snack. Where his hoard is an unfathomably vast mass of jewels and artefacts and precious stones frozen in an unmelting glacier, except he is a nouveau riche idiot with fuckall appraising skill, so half of his hoard is coloured glass or worthless knicknacks, and he doesn't give a shit.

"Your Draconic Majesty, this crown is… It's pyrite." "Yeah, well, it's brighter than this dusty old thing made out of real gold, it's my new best treasure. Throw the other one away." "…throw the Burnished Tiara of Bahamut, forged in the First Age of Man, your majesty???" "See? I can't even remember its fucking name." "But my lord-" "DO YOU WANT TO BE A MEATSICLE" "…I will fetch a trash bag, your majesty."

But at the same time, he's not stupid, he's just simple, and in some ways that makes him more dangerous than the usual kinds of scheming Big Bad you see in these things, while simultaneously justifying why Orcus remains on his throne (because he's lazy). Face-Biter Mike doesn't make convoluted plans or run labyrinthine schemes; he just has a talent for violence and a pragmatic, straightforward approach to turning any kind of problem he struggles with into a problem that can be resolved with violence. Face-Biter Mike has one talent and it's horrifying physical power, so his approach to any complicated problem is "how do I turn this into a situation where I can fly down and bite this dude's face off?" with absolutely no regard for the collateral damage or consequences of doing so, because those are also things he can turn into face-bitable problems.

"My lord, the dread necromancer Nikodemion is using his undead dragons to attempt a conquest of the eastern kingdom; his agents are everywhere, his plans are centuries in the making, what can we do against such a mastermind?" "I'm gonna fly over the capital and eat the eastern king." "M-my lord???" "The kingdom will collapse without leadership, Nikodemion will win his war, he'll take the capital and crown himself king." "And that helps us… how?" "Once he does I'll fly over to the capital and eat him." "…" "This is why you advisors all suck. You're all about convoluted plans when the only thing I need to win is know where my enemy is so I can fly down there and eat him. Stop overthinking things."

And, like, yeah, it's a simplistic plan, but when you're several hundred tons of nigh invincible magical death, you don't need brilliant strategy; the smartest way to win a war is, in this case, the simplest. He's not even all that clever at figuring out the consequences of face-biting, he's just memorised the common consequences of doing so.

(If you want to go all in on Mike being the major mover and shaker in the region; Nikodemion only even has a pet zombie dragon because Mike killed the last dragon to show up and contest his turf but wasn't going to eat a whole dragon by himself. Nikodemion got to stick around and amass that much power because Mike ate the Hero of the Realm while he was adventuring because he figured the Hero would come and try to slay him at some point. Nikodemion got started because Mike ate half the leadership of the Academy of High Magic who typically keep evil wizards and necromancers in check. And then eventually this product of Mike's casual, careless actions becomes a big enough problem to bother Mike personally, at which point Mike eats him too.)

He doesn't even really fail upwards, either! He is regularly reduced to nothing but the glacier he stores his hoard in, but he's Face-Biter Mike so nobody wants to commit to actually ending him forever lest they get their faces bitten the fuck off. And his hoard's in a huge-ass magical glacier so nobody can get to it without running into the Invading Russia problem; it's hard to wage war when everything is frozen over and you're both starving and freezing to death. Once he's been beaten back to his central lair and has lost all his holdings… I mean, he's still a problem, but he's a far away problem. So he loses his assets and spends a decade in a cave brooding it up while no one dares risk trying to actually kill him, and then a generation or two later he flies down to a kobold colony and gets himself some minions, or a dragon-worshipping mage comes to offer his service against a pittance from his hoard, or a particularly stupid cult starts thinking they can get in good with him and leech off his power, and then he's (hah) snowballing again.

He's also got a very… well, the kind of weird Charisma that Grineer bosses do. Like Sargas Ruk, who's a malformed idiot, but oddly charismatic. As he's a dragon, that makes him a natural sorcerer and thus Charisma is all he needs. He's pretty relaxed when he isn't in a face-biting mood, and he's kind of infectiously optimistic, because his life has taught him that he will succeed as long as he perseveres. So he just believes it.

And sometimes that's really refreshing to work for, as an evil minion of darkness! It's like, you're coming to your Evil Dragon Lord with terrible news; you've worked for evil overlords before, you know how it goes. You fall to your knees weeping and tell him that you've failed to seize the incredibly powerful magical artifact, you think your life is forfeit. And he's just like "Eh, it's okay, these things are all over the place. Better luck next time. You remember the guy who took it, right?" and you go "Y-yes, oh great lord!" and he's like "Sweet tell me his name later and I'll grab it" and then eats a frozen adventurer he kept around as a snack.

His followers tend to quickly realise that if they fail him, bringing some temple's silver or a sack of brightly coloured beads or a couple of dead cows means he's super forgiving because at least he's got something out of the day. "Oh boy, cows? It's been forever since I had those, ever since the Orc Steppe Nomads took over it's all about goats and onions. Today is a good day." He's a master of delegation by dragon standards, in that he just tells you "Just go get it done, I don't care how" rather than micromanaging you and constantly appearing as an image in smoke or taking over your campfire.

The key part of Face-Biter Mike as a threat to players (because he exists in the context of a D&D campaign) works well in that you can rely on several known quantities:

He will not pull sneaky shit that you don't see coming

He will not make convoluted plans that you must work to unravel

He will consistently attempt to come down and wreck you personally if he finds the opportunity and you are a threat to him

You cannot fight him head-on (at least not until the last leg of the campaign, and ideally as an optional boss rather than mandatory)

So as long as you are good at staying under the radar, thwarting his minions (whom he gives broad orders to with almost zero oversight) and not putting yourself in face-biting range, you can deal with him. If you succeed, it won't be the first time Mike has lost his assets and had to go brood in his glacier for a decade or two before rebuilding. It happens; he can deal with it. And that's a win for you within the context of a single campaign, so take the win.

And if you're not going to use him as an enemy, he works pretty well as a quest-giver, too! The costs for failure are obvious and straightforward, and "do whatever, just get me mine" means that players have a lot of freedom in accomplishing their goals. As far as evil overlords go he is actually one of the least dangerous to work for; his pride is relatively subdued by draconic standards, his goals are simple and typically achievable, and he is easily pleased.

(There's also a good chance he is the forefather of any draconic sorcerer in your party, because Face Biter Mike is a deadbeat dad.)

#d&d #face-biter mike #I want this #writing #gaming #advice #funny #criticism #fandom

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just-late-roman-republic-things · 28 days

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Things I look for in history books:

🟩 Green flags - probably solid 🟩

Has the book been published recently? Old books can still be useful, but it's good to have more current scholarship when you can.

The author is either a historian (usually a professor somewhere), or in a closely related field. Or if not, they clearly state that they are not a historian, and encourage you to check out more scholarly sources as well.

The author cites their sources often. Not just in the bibliography, I mean footnotes/endnotes at least a few times per page, so you can tell where specific ideas came from. (Introductions and conclusions don't need so many citations.)

They include both ancient and recent sources.

They talk about archaeology, coins and other physical items, not just book sources.

They talk about the gaps in our knowledge, and where historians disagree.

They talk about how historians' views have evolved over time. Including biases like sexism, Eurocentrism, biased source materials, and how each generation's current events influenced their views of history.

The author clearly distinguishes between what's in the historical record, versus what the author thinks or speculates. You should be able to tell what's evidence, and what's just their opinion.

(I personally like authors who are opinionated, and self-aware enough to acknowledge when they're being biased, more than those who try to be perfectly objective. The book is usually more fun that way. But that's just my personal taste.)

Extra special green flag if the author talks about scholars who disagree with their perspective and shows the reader where they can read those other viewpoints.

There's a "further reading" section where they recommend books and articles to learn more.

🟨 Yellow flags - be cautious, and check the book against more reliable ones 🟨

No citations or references, or references only listed at the end of a chapter or book.

The author is not a historian, classicist or in a related field, and does not make this clear in the text.

When you look up the book, you don't find any other historians recommending or citing it, and it's not because the book is very new.

Ancient sources like Suetonius are taken at face value, without considering those sources' bias or historical context.

You spot errors the author or editor really should've caught.

🟥 Red flags - beware of propaganda or bullshit 🟥

The author has a politically charged career (e.g. controversial radio host, politician or activist) and historical figures in the book seem to fit the same political paradigm the author uses for current events.

Most historians think the book is crap.

Historical figures portrayed as entirely heroic or villainous.

Historical peoples are portrayed as generally stupid, dirty, or uncaring.

The author romanticizes history or argues there has been a "cultural decline" since then. Author may seem weirdly angry or bitter about modern culture considering that this is supposed to be a history book.

The author treats "moral decline" or "degeneracy" as actual cultural forces that shape history. These and the previous point are often reactionary dogwhistles.

The author attributes complex problems to a single bad group of people. This, too, is often a cover for conspiracy theories, xenophobia, antisemitism, or other reactionary thinking. It can happen with both left-wing and right-wing authors. Real history is the product of many interacting forces, even random chance.

The author attempts to justify awful things like genocide, imperialism, slavery, or rape. Explaining why they happened is fine, but trying to present them as good or "not that bad" is a problem.

Stereotypes for an entire nation or culture's personality and values. While some generalizations may be unavoidable when you have limited space to explain something, groups of people should not be treated as monoliths.

The author seems to project modern politics onto much earlier eras. Sometimes, mentioning a few similarities can help illustrate a point, but the author should also point out the limits of those parallels. Assigning historical figures to modern political ideologies is usually misleading, and at worst, it can be outright propaganda.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. "Big theory" books like Guns, Germs and Steel often resort to cherry-picking and making errors because it's incredibly hard for one author to understand all the relevant evidence. Others, like 1421, may attempt to overturn the historical consensus but end up misusing some very sparse or ambiguous data. Look up historians' reviews to see if there's anything in books like this, or if they've been discredited.

There are severe factual errors like Roman emperors being placed out of order, Cleopatra building the pyramids, or an army winning a battle it actually lost.

When in doubt, my favorite trick is to try to read two books on the same subject, by two authors with different views. By comparing where they agree and disagree, you can more easily overcome their biases, and get a fuller picture.

(Disclaimer - I'm not a historian or literary analyst; these are just my personal rules of thumb. But I figured they might be handy for others trying to evaluate books. Feel free to add points you think I missed or got wrong.)

#jlrrt essays #historiography #media literacy #critical thinking

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sugar-grigri · 8 months

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It's all about the number 2

Asa and Yoru, Nayuta and Denji, two Chainsaw Man, two camps of worshippers versus detractors, two protagonists, a second part, the two identities of Denji, a high-school student and a hero himself, both demon and human: Chainsaw - Man.

But before we balance all that, let's take a closer look at this chapter.

First of all, I'd like to say how rich chapter 140 is. I see a lot of people criticizing Fujimoto's writing as someone who simply sets up absurd situations when absolutely nothing is left to chance. We're reading a manga by a film buff, so get your head around Chekov's rifle.

I'd like to remind you that Chainsaw Man is set in Japanese society.

Ejecting a sect from a building, or even belonging to a cult that has nothing to do with a dominant, ancestral religion, is more common than in the West.

I've seen plenty of people wondering who could be at the head of the church for making people believe such a stupid story as a violet-ray weapon that would make adults stupid.

When it's the other way around, the church is exploiting the fact that high-school students are just thinking too much. And if there's one thing that saves Denji, it's that he thinks less.

Let's put things in context: this is the '90s, and even if the idea of nuclear weapons has been erased by Pochita, meaning that the Cold War has surely taken a different form in Chainsaw Man, Fujimoto has never denied geopolitical tensions.

Whether it's the mention of the USSR with Reze, Makima's instrumentalization of Japan, the history of weapons, the fact that the American government sought to eliminate Makima or that countries share the remains of the weapon demon...

Countries are in tension. The church exploits this atmosphere of anxiety among teenagers who are beginning to form opinions that dissent from their parents.

Adolescence means coming into conflict with your parents' ideas, so come up with a story about how a gun makes them stupid. It's simply targeted manipulation that exploits the vulnerabilities of individuals in the midst of an identity crisis.

Becoming a teenager also means freeing oneself from a certain carefree attitude and better understanding of the world around us, hence the mention of Americans on the same level as adults.

I'd like to point out that this is not just a collection of absurdities. But for that, a bit of history... I hope I'm not teaching anyone that Japanese society has been turned upside down by the United States.

Without going into too much detail, during the 19th century, Japan went through the Meiji era. The Meiji government pursued a policy of modernization with the ultimate aim of bringing Japan up to the level of the Western powers.

To compete with Western powers such as the United States, the government relied on centralized power to control citizens as much as possible... and this involved reforming the matrimonial system. With the popularization of "love marriage", the Meiji government changed tactics: the polygamous system was replaced by exclusive "love marriage".

The church used the same method of control as the Meiji government: reforming the matrimonial system by overturning institutions. From now on, it's no longer sex after marriage, but before it.

It's this kind of talk that just digs into the cracks that allows them to be brainwashed. But talk has never worked with Denji, who thinks concretely with what he can grasp. A date with a pretty girl, steak, sex, feeling the buttocks when he does the chair. What one would point to as perversity is what saves Denji. He thinks through his senses, his literal needs, not the abstract.

We can't say that Miri, who thinks he's free when he's being instrumentalized, repeating that it's the Americans' fault again, or asking Chainsaw Man if he's sure he hasn't picked up any ultraviolet weapons... that he’s stupid. Because weapons have lost their memory, they have no loved ones, no stories to refer to.

Miri convinces himself he's free, filling the void of his own forgotten history with false stories. The lack of education, of pillars, of history is what had tortured Denji, who was so easily manipulated. I'd go so far as to say that Reze is the most striking example of this.

It's impossible to determine Barem's psychology, but he still demonstrates a third reaction to manipulation: while Denji evolves, Miri locks himself in denial : Barem manipulates in return. Revenge, reproductive mechanism, any number of reasons could explain why Barem exploits one of Denji's weaknesses: Asa.

Now you're thinking, yes, that's all very well, you talk a lot... but what's that got to do with the number two?

The scale is the very image of dichotomy, of a relationship between two forces, two weights, two entities. And what does it have to do with manipulation? Several things.

First of all, manipulation also means taking on ideas that are not our own. It means no longer questioning them, confronting them with dissident ideas that would contradict them, or balancing them.

To balance is also to confront two options in a dilemma. Something that's come up several times, first initiated by Yoshida, then taken up in his own way by Barem: embrace his identity as Chainsaw Man or continue his normal life as Denji?

The manipulation since the start of Part 2 has been to split up Chainsaw Man. To have separated what constitutes his essence: human and demonic. To have split his nature, which has always been that of two beings in one.

And what if I told you that the answer lies in chapter 2 (yes, man). Here, Makima clearly explains to Denji that Pochita is not dead but continues to live with him, that he has two smells.

Fami's project is openly to separate Chainsaw Man, to cut its essence in two: the reunion of two beings.

That's why this chapter talks about marriage, which refers to the reunion of two individuals.

Barem would have us believe that these two choices are antinomic, that they are contradictory and cannot be fulfilled together. Only Denji can have both choices, he had already answered that. His sign of strength is two fingers. Two is Denji's strength. Becoming two is what literally allowed him to be reborn.

Of course, Denji doesn't want to marry; he's already one with one being through a contract: Pochita.

Pochita had merged with him so that he could live a normal life. It was never a normal life, but the life Denji wanted to live. Chainsaw Man is literally the means, a better life, the end.

The secret to surviving the manipulation then lies literally in Denji's heart.

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #csm 140 #my thoughts #denji #yoru #asa #nayuta #makima #miri sugo #barem #reze

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