#this eldritch delight

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi Lumine! First I just wanted to let you know I love your fics so much!!! Especially This Eldritch Delight, it makes me grin like a lunatic everytime I read it!

For the prompt, I was wondering something in the Eldritch Delight AU where Alec is in Alicante for some meeting or something and forgot his parasol and he's just chatting on the phone with Magnus, glaring at the sun when Magnus makes it rain acid in Alicante for his darling's not so delicate skin. All nephilim running around because 'wtf acid rain!? Did the demon towers fail!?' and Alec's just standing in the street blushing because Magnus is so sweet to him.

hey!!! thank you so much!! also I'm so glad to hear that because i grin like a lunatic while i'm writing it

here we go! i hope you enjoy how i went with it

^_^

lumine

-

A fire message flickers into existence and Alexander catches it, letting the flames flicker at his skin with a dreamy sigh before he blows away the embers and reads the message.

“My mother needs me to come help her with the menagerie. It seems the runes are wearing off and a few of them wandered out and into the woods. Mother is a bit worried about that, considering the werewolf pack out there.” Alexander sighs, “she says she’d miss the song of their howls if they get eaten.”

Magnus frowns, because they’d had plans and he hates the thought of losing even a second of time with his fiancé. It’s quite the hindrance how carefully Alexander’s Institute keeps track of him. They always seem to know where he’s supposed to be, which means Magnus can rarely steal him away. The last time he did, Alexander was inundated with frantic fire messages and calls, begging him not to go exploring on his own unless it was in a rift.

Which Alexander has promised to no longer do, unless of course he wants to take a picnic. Magnus wouldn’t mind rift-diving for a few hours, but it gets terribly tedious and he has much better ways to help Alexander avoid the clave.

“Well, that is a terrible pity, why such a pout my love?” Alexander pouts even more at being called out for his sulk and it’s so ghoulishly sweet that Magnus has to pepper kisses to his pouting lips. Alexander finally relents, sighing against Magnus’ caresses.

“It’s midmorning in Alicante, Magnus. It’ll be hot and bright and there will be dozens of them running about.” Magnus blinks for a moment, before he remembers that’s how his love refers to non-shadowhunter nephilim… actually all non-Institute nephilim.

“My heart—” Magnus purrs and he reaches out to pet Alexander’s hair away from his face. “I’ll summon you a portal straight to Alicante and hand you a shade myself before I leave you to your duties.”

The adoring, covetous and hungry look Alexander is giving him is enough that Magnus wishes they could postpone Alexander’s departure, however he doubts that will go over well with Alexander’s mother and Magnus is… trying.

The portal is simple enough but when they step through, Magnus frowns up at the sky. It is rather obscenely bright and not in a fun way. In the kind of way that made you wish your eyes would water to cleanse yourself of the vision.

Alexander looks miserable and it breaks Magnus’ heart, it’s without a thought that he changes his original plan and instead of merely summoning storm clouds to shield his love, he calls up the power of Edom instead.

It’s with a whisper and then a voiceless howl that Magnus realigns the skies themselves, calling the moon back and around as he uses his magic to change the speed of the earth as he demands the moon block the sun.

The entire world screams in agony for a breathless moment of non-understanding and then it’s like nothing happened.

Nothing except for the moon, now blocking the sun.

“A shade for you, beloved.” Magnus murmurs, blood on his tongue and Alexander is staring at him and then he’s being kissed. It’s a delighted, gleeful,

Alicante is panicking around them, unaware that it was Magnus or magic that called the moon into play, only horrified at the unexpected eclipse. There were orders to check on the demon towers and shouts as they tried to organize themselves into something of a defense.

Magnus steps back through his portal, to his lair lacking his fiancé and scowls, glaring at the walls which are suddenly lacking anything truly horrific.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #this eldritch delight #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec

[spacedace]

Okay here me out:

dp x dc writing prompt where Dani ends up exhausted (and maybe a little weak from traveling for so long, maybe she got in a fight and is hurt) and finding shelter in a nice barn with a friendly cow in it, curling up in a dark corner to rest and recover where she’s pretty sure no one will notice her until she's ready to take off again.

And because her form since stabilizing has always been a bit prone to sliding away from more human and into the more eldritch when she's tired, she appears less like a human girl and more like an more humanoid-ish shadow creature. Emphasis on the creature.

Damian is a responsible pet owner, he makes sure to go around feeding everyone first thing in the mornings, even on weekends, and because of his training he has a sharp eye for things that aren't quit right, so he spots this...thing curled up in the corner immediately.

His first instinct is to fight it - it managed to get past all their security measures, it's an unknown, it could be a danger to his family, or worse BatCow - but then Alfred-the-cat jumps down from the hay bail the creature is curled up behind and lands on it. The creature gives a pained little noise, but doesn't strike out or hurt the cat, just turns glowing green eyes up at it and meets Alfred-the-cat's little mrrp with one of it's own and buts it's shadowy head against the cat.

And Damian, maybe a little more tired then usual up so early after a long night fighting rogues as Robin, just comes to the conclusion that - while obviously a supernatural creature of some variety- it clearly has been adopted by Alfred-the-cat as a kitten and equally adopted the cat back as it's caretaker. And separating them would be detrimental to both.

So obviously this is just another pet for him to take care of, especially when he realizes that Bruce-the-shadow (it only seemed appropriate since Alfred-the-cat adopted the creature) is injured.

Dani is a little too out of it to fully get what's going on at first, just vaguely aware of someone that looks a bit like Danny saying something to her and trying to check on her injuries - he must have found her, one of the local ghosts must have told him what was going on - so she just lets him because she knows how he gets.

The rest of the family thinks it's a bit weird that Damian has been spending so much more time down at the barn recently, but hey it keeps him from getting into fights with his siblings and they all get the need for some alone time now and then.

Things only start getting weird when Dani starts realizing it's not her original/brother/father taking care of her but instead some kid her age, but by then Damian has started talking to Bruce-the-Shadow the same way he does his other pets, sharing the things he feels he can’t share with anyone else, and she sees that same loneliness and unwillingness to trust that she feels and really with the bruises the kid keeps showing up with she worries okay?

So she sticks around, even after she's all healed and could take off again, keeping her form shadowy and doing her best to keep an eye on her new...friend? Friend.

Cut to Damian ending up in some bad fight and Dani as Bruce-the-shadow showing up to save him and BatFam is concerned™️ about what the fuck that thing is, and Danny getting worried because he hasn't seen his clone/sister/daughter in a bit and she usually at least checks in by now and deciding to go look for her.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #batfam #writing prompt #damian wayne #danielle fenton #dani fenton #danny fenton #eldritch dani #alfred the cat #Elle starts hiding in Damian's shadow to try and protect him throughout the day #the robin thing is a surprise but hey she gets the vigilante thing even if that's more Danny's thing then hers #Damian is delighted that his new pet is so well behaved and seems to understand him so well #he's 90% percent certain Bruce-the-shadow is a Lazarus pit demon #and excited to have so easily tamed and domesticated it #the first time someone tries to kill Robin while Elle is there ends up getting eaten by a furious eldritch abomination and spat out again #Damian is so proud #Bruce is PANICKING

[landwriter]

hob gadling being so goddamn normal compared to his anthropomorphic husband, in-laws, and husband's social circle that he circles right back around to being the more sus/shady one OR hob gadling keeps accidentally derailing dream's attempts to be King of Nightmares by horny vibes/going "joke's on you, i'm into it"/"promise?" to any and all threats

Hob isn't normal, is the thing. He's not. He never was. He was smouldering with strangeness and hunger long before his future sister-in-law took one look at him and decided he'd be good for her little brother.

He asked her, once, bit drunk, if that was why she chose him: if she'd heard him forswearing her in the White Horse and looked at him, peered into the contents of his soul, and thought: well, there's one at least as stubborn as my brother - maybe they'll be good for each other. She'd just smiled and waited for Hob to take another sip before saying, "Good? I just thought it would be interesting," and twinkled at him when he sputtered. Hob said older sisters were terrors, and they'd toasted to that.

Whether she'd intended or not, they were good for each other, him and Dream. It took them a little bit to realize, a small handful of centuries holding one another at arm's length for fear of what would be seen any closer. Then they'd crashed together anyways, and it had turned out they were matched not just in that bloody-minded stubbornness to keep a decent thing going, but also in all the intensity they'd tried to smother to do so, the roaring hunger and devotion and need; the both of them strange creatures capable of giving so much and greedy enough to take just as much in kind.

On the outside, though, others see Dream, his distance, his power, the thunder of his voice, and don't see it as the armour it is, the necessary carapace protecting the sort of tender feelings that could scorch the entire earth, because he is a vessel for human emotions that are strong enough to live on in stories and dreams, because he is, in that respect, - and Hob gets choked up about this, if he allows himself to think about it too much - fundamentally more human than him, than all of them, the embodiment of every fantasy and fear and tall tale of men, tending to them each night, taking no rest for himself.

On the outside, others see Hob, his banal humanness, and other humans assume the rest of him is the same, and so do most non-humans, except they're baffled by it, baffled by why he is Dream's husband. So he plays it up, because it's funny, and if they're too incurious or gullible to figure out what lays beneath, then that's alright, because his husband figured it out, and loves him for it, and that's all he needs.

Dream didn't understand at first why Hob acted extra human whenever they mingled with other capital-e Entities and inhuman sorts, but now he finds it so amusing as well that Hob wonders how the gig isn't up from the moment anyone sees his twitching smirk. His husband has a terrible poker face, Hob thinks.

He's much better at pretending. In fact, he's so good at performing the petty normality expected of him that it goes full circle and becomes, somehow, magnetically strange to all the fantastical creatures in his husband's social circle.

He had not realized the heady effect of normal human upon non-humans until the time he had gone to a Samhain 'do in the Underhill, in his formal role as Prince Consort to the Lord Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, first of his name, et cetera, and, rather comfortable with those sort of events by then, which were really not that dissimilar to interdepartmental faculty parties, with all the posturing and alcohol, only far better outfits, had, a bit soused on the fantastic elphin mead, accidentally started talking with a member of the faerie delegation about the football tables. At first he thought he'd committed a faux pas when the faerie just stared at him, slack-jawed, but later that night, he'd found himself surrounded by a cluster of wide-eyed dryads and undine and fae, gratifyingly holding court on why Billy Wright had been such a shite Arsenal manager. Apparently, it was the highlight of the evening.

It also helps grease the wheels of immortal statecraft, which Hob thinks of as something of a secondary benefit to making his husband smile. He would be a fierce bodyguard and soldier for Dream, in a heartbeat, he would curry favour on his behalf with pretty words and eager gladhanding, but what works out best, he's realized, is when important folk approach them to talk shop with Dream, to head it off with warm conversation about things like Tube construction, ABBA, and sausage rolls, until they look thoroughly disconcerted, before gracefully handing them off to his husband.

Whenever the occasion allows it, he'll skip on the finery too (another thing, he thinks, that he only cares about his husband seeing). Once, a baku ambassador, himself arrayed in glorious golden robes that matched his sharp gilt claws, had been so baffled by Hob's appearance on the arm of Dream, in his ratty old jeans and a United jersey he got as a gag gift once (and, on principle, refuses to wear in the Waking) that the chimera had absently agreed with Dream's suggestion for revised quotas on devouring nightmares.

Dream had been so delighted by that victory that he'd pressed Hob up against the front door of their flat in Islington, the moment they got back in, and laid kisses all over the hideous jersey, murmuring that Hob was a fearsome diplomat, and Hob had laughed and said he was only a distraction, then let Dream drag him to the bedroom anyways to thank him for his contribution.

Some see what's underneath, of course, and Hob's just as glad for that too.

The second time they'd had dinner with Crowley and Aziraphale, well past the food and making excellent headway on the rest of the wine, Dream had been called away on urgent business. Hob thought the night would end there, but the moment Dream left, Crowley had leveled an unsober finger of accusation at Hob and said, "Don't think I can't tell what you're doing."

Hob hadn't needed to try and look confused, but then Crowley leaned in and said, conspiratorially and only accidentally hissing a little, "This 'regular bloke' thing, but you're worssse than him, aren't you? Bet you are. Bet anything," and Aziraphale had genuinely emitted a tiny gasp of affront on Hob's behalf, and Hob was too busy laughing to say that he wasn't wrong at all, while Crowley gleefully swiveled around and said "I told you so, angel. S'obvious. Humansss. Not a normal one among 'em."

It was a lovely thing to say, actually, and all too easy for Hob to forget sometimes, being a particularly abnormal human leading a particularly abnormal life. But Crowley knew what he was talking about. He spent far more time with humanity compared to most of the inhuman lot. When Hob had made him promise to keep his secret from the rest of them - humanity's secret, really - and explained why, Crowley had laughed and laughed and laughed. He thinks it's the moment they became proper friends.

Hob isn't normal, is the thing.

But it's fun to don it like ceremonial garb and be an ambassador of humanity twice over: in truth and performance both. It's fun to be exactly what's expected and still disconcert.

And most of all, it's fun to go back home with his husband, to their terribly normal human flat, and curl up together in their terribly normal human bed, and watch Dream's face flush with pride or amusement as he debriefs Hob on what chaos he's wrought this time, intentionally or otherwise, with his terribly normal human presence, and Hob just laughs, then smiles until his face hurts, because Dream is his husband, wholly apart from humanity and still the most human creature Hob has met, and he knows all the ways that Hob feels like both, too.

#dreamling #the sandman #asks #hob gadling #dream of the endless #my writing #prompt fill #he IS normal in a lot of ways too but you know unreliable narrator #weaponizing ur banality against the eldritch and fantastical #mostly bc ur husband finds it funny #new headcanon: crowley and hob are absolutely best mates #little feral creatures who understand the horrors and delights of humankind alike #hedonists who love modern inventions and distrust large bureaucracies #whose luddite partners are very lovely but fundamentally would rather be in a library reading old books

[wrrms]

meanwhile:

Candela Obscura: Circle of Needle & Thread Ep. 2

#caught this on rewatch and was so delighted i had to learn how to gif #marisha “now kiss” ray #zehra fazal #luis carazo #circle of needle and thread #eldritch harrahs v. the power of love #candela obscura spoilers #candela obscura #candela obscura: circle of needle and thread ep. 2 #i make gifs now i guess??! #wrrms gifs #critical role

[bewitched-bullet]

C̵̖̥͕̯̣͉͍̔͛̇̂̽͊̔̿͐̑͛̀͗́̌́͛̀̑̑̅̈́͆͂͝ą̴̧̡̡̡̡̢̨̣̙̱̝͕̮̪̖͕̥̻̠͉͍̼̯̬̬̻̥̙̤͍̜͍̲̜͊͋̆̓̆̍͆̇͌͆̊̔̿̃̈́̃̀̋̆̀̂̅̾̿̾͘͘͘͜͝l̶̡̢̛̙̺̦̣͕̄̊̔̋̄̾̀̽͐͗͂͆͗̀̾̈́̀͂̀̇͊̈́̂͋͘͘̚͝͠͝l̸͎̺̯͈̘̹̠̺͙̣̫̞̭̥͙̩̲̻̫͖̫̳̰̟͇̥̳̈͂͒̾͒̑̕̕͝͝ͅ ̵͈̳̮͕̱̝̹̓̓̾̂̿̄̔́́̈́͋̀́̄͘͠t̸̢̨̢̡̡̡̡̛̰͙̗̱͎̮̘͕̪͈̣̘̖̙͍̣̮͕̭̗̠͚̼̱̜̣̦̲̻͉̘̰̬̥͒̅͛͂͑̄́̔͂̓͋͌̀̈́̌̅́̈́̒̓̽̃̐͆̒͘̚̚͜ơ̷̡̧̡̗̝̩̦̫̫̼͉̝̣̠̻̬̮̺̣̤͉̭͍̠̪̺͈̈́̂̋̒͂̓̓̑̑̊̆͆̈́̽̎͌̈́̀̚̚̚͘͜͝ͅ ̸̡̡̡̧̧̡̰̣͎͙̤̲͓̰̟̤̫̝̖̪̩̼̯͚̺̫̥̹̯͚̗̘̖̤̞̩͈̦͈̻̲̠̻͊̃́̎̿̀̾͋̑̔̂́̔̑̚̕͝͝͝à̸̧̡̨̧̡͖͈̱̙͖̹͇̫͇̮̰̯̗̣̭̬͉̜̘̲̫͖̜̗͍͔̠͔͚́͌̋͐͂̑͑̒̂̈́̓̅́̔̀̈́̅͘͜͠͠ͅͅl̵̨̞̮͇̙̘̱͙̼̦̦͎͙̪̰̥̹͇͈̺̯̮̟͕̯̲̖̞̩̝̥̰̰͇̹̱͛̑͂͗̇̐̃̏͊̔̇̃͂͐̓͑́́̀̓͑͗̀̑͛̊̌̚̚͘͝͝͝ͅͅl̸̛͈̞͔̠̫̟͔͍̟̘̣͎̗̦̩̼̖͕̖͇̤̹̂̿̇̃͗̍́͗͌͋̈̓͗̓̅́̓́̽̋̈̒͊͂͐̕͠͝͝͝ͅ ̴̨̡̬̬͉͓͕̊͛͂̋̊̅̆͂̇́̈̓̆̀̇̋͐͒͐͘̚͝ͅw̵̧̡̛͍͇̩̮͍͕͍͈̫̩̤̘̫̞̜̗̩̰͎̬̦̻̲͈̲͓̯͕̱̤̻̰̲̱̠̅̇̿͐͑͐̔̒̈́̌̌̊̐̓̆͗̎̈́̄̓̚͜͝h̶̲̫̗̉͗̏́̇̿̍̅̆̉̀̅̿́̀̂͑̓́̃͑͛͐̃̈́̀̈͌͒̃̒͘̕͘̕͝͝ȏ̶̡̧̨̡̹̲̫̻̳̟̹̖͎͈̤̟̘̈́͂ ̵̨̛̠͖̙̬̞̠̰͚̺͙̠̹̪͓͉̙̳̤̯̳͔̗̰͈̫̃̆̈́̉̈́̓̊͋̇͑͜ċ̵͖͖̹̥̣̜̬̰̤̥͖̪̼͇̣̭̠̞̥͔̣̓͌͆̿̆̓̍̐̑̿͑̋̈́̆̑͒̓̀́̅̐́́̈́̆͊̆͆̿̈͝l̷̨̪̤͖̞̇͌͌̓̊̒͊̀̈́͛̀̽̇̏̕͘͝ą̶̧̛̞̲̫̜͔̟̗͎̣̝͙̫̟͓̰̜̹̦͒̀̅͗͒̇͑̏̅̾͑̍̏̒̌͒̑͒͂̓̈̓͘͘̕͜͜͠ì̵̧̢̨̛̛̟̦͉̰̫̗̫̳͕̺̝̳̮̳̲͎̯͚̥̗̝̤̪̫͖̺̪̝̳̮̲͆͗͐̎͗̽́͑̃̓͐̑́͑̊̈́͒̽̈́̎̋́̔̍͐̇͂̾̉̿̇͝͠͝͝͠ͅm̵̢̧̨̧̡̮͉͓̙̖̝̲̜̼͓̱̙͓̪̳̗̦̬͚̘͔̝̥̭͓̹̤̺̟̮̬̠̣̪͈̀̂͊͜͜͝ͅͅ ̵̡̧̢̙̤̣̻̬͖̱͕̱͉̦̜͍̖̳̼̻̣̥̟̣̜͕̎̿͂̓á̶̧̡̢̧̛̖̟̰͉̺̖̣̰͕̞̩͉̦̫̩̙̱̤̫͚̞̺̗͓̓̂̍̎̈̅̍̌͛̆̒̅̈̄͐́̎̋̓̌̇̏̆͗̅͂͂͆̄͒̊̃́͘̕͜͝ͅ ̴̢̧̧̢̧̛͚͇͕̖̯̳͉̩͈̹͍͚̺̣̣̯͚̪̺͚̏ͅh̴̢̛̠͉̜͈̘̼͓̟̻̝͇̼̯̼̰̙͎̼̲͔̝͆͆̋͛̂̏̒̇̾͊̅̒̾̏̾̌͌̾͠͝ͅͅơ̵̡͍̲̳̺̻̹̭͎͚̫͍̘̞̈́̈́̂̀̊̋̉̅͗̍́͆̄͐̃̈́̉̈̀͒́̾̒̉̿̅̈́͛̈̿̈́͆̀̕͘͝͠͝͝ͅm̷̢̡̢̯̦͈̫̝͙̬̫̱̦̻̩̗̳̫̤͓̱̳̯̪͉̮͕͈͓͖͈̜͕̹̹̪̩̀́̂̐̎̍̇̀̃̂̔͛͛̅́̃̎̒͛̾̓̀̀̒̅́̍͆̓̇̒͋̅͗͛̑̏͘͠͠͝ͅè̷͍̘̩̰̬̻̦͔̤̟͇͐̓̀̽̈̽̓̄̄̿͐̈́̓͆̀̈́̓͝ ̵̡̰͎̱̦̙̣̼͓̼̣̖̠̳̖̳̣̮̜̗͖̱̯͙̤̤̘͕̘̲͉̜̖̟̦̱͕͙̔̍̊̿͑̓͋͑̽̇͌͗̓̑̐͊̒̊̀͂̓́̄͌̒̂̏̿̉̃̅͌͊̇́̽̚̚̚͠͝͠ͅͅͅȋ̶̡̢̧̨̢̢̧̛̛̫͙͈̹̗͍͉̰̞͙̗̙̩̗̜͈̫͔̥̦̅͋̈́̀̑̅͛́̑̈́̾̓̃̊̊̈́͒̈̅̉̑̉͐̀͑̕͘͠͠͝ṋ̸̨̛̤̱̝̪̫̩̰̞̤̣̩͖̲̼͚̪̱̫̞̦̼̗̖̭̤̼̪̤̯͇͎̙͇͙̲̪̫̃͑͐̉̑͆̂̊̾̈́̒̈́͗̊̌̍̈́̊̋̈́̀̈͆͌̈̄̾̽̉͑̀͆̃̈́̒̉̾̚̚͝͝͠ͅͅ ̶̡̨̢̢̭͔̥͇̙̰͙̱̲̞̖̹͖̝̩̺̲̰̯̤͔̙̖̳̗̟̮̞̲̘̫͔̪̇́́̑̏̇̾̍̄̊̈́͗̃̽̐̄̀̄̍̋̌̉̍̃̅̀̉̚͘͘̕͜͝ͅḑ̷̼̪̗̣̤͇̻̦̭̟̼̺̦͉̱͚̱͖͚̗͖͈͍̭̭͔͕̓̉̍͌̀͌̂́̍̊̀͋̌̓͛̽͂͌̽̃̂̇͛̀͛̉̽̃̐̈́͐̓̚̚͜͜͠͝͝͝͠ͅȁ̶̧̨̗̦͕͕͙͍͉̐̀̀͂́̇́̍͂̉̍̊̒͊̎̑͗̓̓̉̽̇̃̋͌̓̓̚͠͠͝ŗ̵̡̡̛̛̳̲̩̹̻̺̭̜͎̭̳̖̠̣̦̳̖̩̱̖͓̹̞͍̲͔̖͇̮̯̟͙̪̬̠͂̑̅̌̊͋̄̽́̉̿͘͘̚͜͝͝k̶̢̞͚͇͔̲͖̳̠̺͋̈́̔̽̍̈̔͗͊̀͋͋̔̃̏̐̿̃́́͒͂̕̕̕͘͝ṉ̶̡̨̧̛̛̛̭̗̹͎̲̠͙͔͈̳͎͕̬͈̬̈́̂̈́͋̈́͌̈͐̍͊͌̅̀̂̀͑͒̐͒̅̃͌̐͆̏͌̏̔͛̓͆̔́̇̄͂͘͝͠ͅë̷̡͎͔̦̭͕͈̫̝̝̭̦͚̪̣͔͕̜͍̮̭̖̠̯̳̬̼̔̐̎̉̎̔̈́̾͜͠s̶̡̻̲̯͉̱̝͛̈̈̓̃̾̔̈̄̍̀̍̂́̃̓̄̽́͑̇̎̒͂̄́̆͘͝͠ş̸̡̨̢̤̲͓̼̥͓͉͕̣͍̮̳̹̼͚̼̟͊́̽̀͗́̽̄͛̐̆̄̎̌̒̀́́̈̂͊̿͘̕͝͝͝ͅ

To all darkling creatures and friends

I issue forth a call for the solar eclipse.

To revel in the power, dive in out of blurred boundaries like space whales, and nab unsuspecting mortals for......a share in snacks 😈

I mean-- here's an invitation for a day-in-the-town celebration for the solar eclipse!

#rp #eldritch #solar eclipse #a delightful opportunity #april 8th

[cognitosclowns]

Alpha-Beta NSFW Alphabet <3

UM. PRETEND I DIDN’T FORGET TO POST THIS. PRETEND I DIDN’T. LEAVE THIS IN MY DRAFTS THINKING I POSTED THIS PRETEND OUTIS IS COMPETENT. PRETEND THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO OUT IN JUNE PRETEND MY BRAIN IS NOT SMOOTHER THAN A BOILED EGG

smnsmd yea I’ve <33 been wanting to do one of these for a while and who better than my favorite omnicidal robot man <3333

[template here!!]

NSFW BELOW!! minors go away 

THIS IS GONNA BE P LONG BC,, I am unable to shut up about this man + I added to some sections after Part 2 came out so,,, yeah. Brainworms. Expect plenty of sillygoofery, tangents, X Reader, etc. you know the the drill by now MASNDMASNDMASD mwah mwah on y va

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

OOOO <33 BOYE

He. forgets you need to breathe so expect so many dazed little kisses.

Especially right after he cums, while his systems are still fuzzy. Your warmth is absolutely intoxicating. He’s like a lizard on a hotstone.

His tongue feels like a lead ball in his mouth, so they aren’t really coordinated kisses. 

More,, vague lip movements with a bit of tongue <3

He does not have the system functionality to be a little shit + any shyness he has left evaporated around the third time you made him cum <3 

TLDR expect him to be a lot more tender and scrambled than usual!!

It’s probably the messiest you’ll ever see him?? 

Like he,, thinks he’s more competent than he actually is.

All his movements are super jittery, more than a little unbalanced. He’ll go to brush a hair out of your face and instead just. clumsily jam his fingertips your cheek. Absolute tragedy. 

What’s better is he barely realizes it, so SAVOR THAT SHIT!!! 

Usually he makes an effort to seem ~Put Together And Ohoho Superior Lifeform~ etc, etc. 

These moments are rare!!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It isn’t that he dislikes his current form. he’s just,, mostly neutral to it?? 

He doesn’t really have the options to change it, and even if he could there’s nothing he really hates enough to swap out?

Once he’s a bit more independent, sure, he’ll gladly do some experimentation, but for the moment that’s hardly his priority. He’d settle for just. having legs. maybe an arm. please.

THE STREAK IN HIS HAIR DOES FUCK THOUGH AND HE’S FULLY AWARE OF IT. HE TOTALLY KNOWS HOW GOOD THAT LOOKS THAT’S NEVER CHANGING LMAO.

OK THIS IS CLICHE BUT HE REALLY CAN’T CHOOSE WHAT HE LOVES THE MOST ABOUT YOU. 

He finds every aspect of you so,, clever and endearing and absolutely wondrous. he could write a 5000 page thesis about you and still have more to say.

If he was to choose smth of yours it’d be so,, oddly specific.

The way your throat flexes when you swallow. The little blink of surprise when you see him. The way your skin folds when you bite your lip. Scars, birthmarks, burns, stretch-marks, discoloration. Nothing gets him hotter than the little details that make you up.  he’s such a sap at heart.

IN TERMS OF,, ‘CLASSIC’ BODY PARTS?

It’s thighs. thighs thighs thighs he is a thighs man and he’s so obvious about it

He lavishes every part of you, obviously, but his eyes light up a special kind of way when he,, slowly peels off your trousers to reveal that particular section of flesh,

Kisses, hickeys, biting, laying on them so he can stare up at you like a lost puppy to appreciate their softness, having you sit on his face and to feel the weight. Anything and everything. 

The flesh is so,, pliable and gooey. There’s nothing like it <3

[OH, BONUS ONE??? SINCE PART 2 ??? hands. Not quite as intensely as thighs, but if he stares at your hands too long, his mental energy is just gonna melt into fantasies of finger-sucking.]

YES this means he’d 10000% be into thigh-fucking, and he goes as feral as you’d expect <3

GOD <333 there’s like. Tangible friction-heat bc of the speed + intensity - he’s not inside you, there’s no risk of damaging internal organs! I wouldn’t be surprised if you had some friction burns after though. sorry.

Since he doesn’t have to worry quite as much about accidentally hurting you, It gives him a bit more room to be,,, unkempt. [If you want him super sloppy :o that’s gonna be a good option!!]

[BONUS,, if he ups his sensitivity?? and he has his head against/between your thighs?? The pulse of blood through your arteries makes him so indescribably horny. Its like a direct connection to your heart <3]

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

OH he wasn’t,, programmed with cum, because that’s absolutely useless to him. 

It honestly wasn’t even smth that occurred to him because,, what’s the point if he can’t reproduce?

If you ask him for it, he’ll absolutely add it and,,,, uh,, <333 new favorite thing

NEW FAVORITE THING

he develops a breeding kink at lightning speed when he sees his artificial cum drooling out of you <3

he tries to logic his way out of it several times (it doesn’t make sense, he can’t even impregnate you, etc) but. kinks do not care about logic robot man. Start breeding. MSNDMSND

He cums buckets, bc he’s a greedy little bastard who clings to positive sensory inputs. The added slickness and heat and just,, sensation adds so much. 7/10 times your lower half is gonna be absolutely covered in the stuff.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

A shameful amount of power is devoted to replaying memories of your escapades. A frankly mortifying amount. His processing speed has tanked since he’s met you, just bc of how much of his RAM (RAM? is that the right term? smb teach me computers sos sdmnsd) is dedicated to fantasies. He always has something playing in the back of his head.

He’s literally taking this knowledge to his tomb and if u ever find out he’ll roll himself into a fountain

Also there’s this Tiny Little Microscopic Infinitesimal Thread of self-loathing that somewhere along the line bundled up into a secret fantasy about wanting to be. dominated and degraded and absolutely ruined by a human. If he thinks too hard about it he’ll give himself a crisis. so. secret kink.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

BABEY HE WAS A VIRGIN BEFORE HAVE FUN <3

alright he has a lot of theoretical knowledge, bc of the whole ‘Plugged Into The Internet Oh God Oh No The Horror’ thing, but he figures out very quickly that,,, theoretical ≠ practical.

(you KNOW the first time you two have sex. it’s gonna realign his fucking humours MSNDMS he did NOT anticipate how good that shit would feel)

HES A FAST LEARNER THOUGH. REAGAN DID A BANG-UP JOB W/ HIS PROBLEM-SOLVING CAPABILITIES SMDNSD

Like,, he’s gonna struggle for a solid few minutes while figuring out the specifics, but it helps to liken it to an experiment - he’s very methodical in figuring out what exactly gets the best reactions out of you. After that, he’s pretty much set <3333 have fun SMNDSMDSNMD

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

WELL,, in his current state he is sort of limited? there’s 1001 ways he’d like to have you but currently he has very few options. Overall he just,, really likes having you Close. If he can’t feel your pulse through your skin you aren’t nearly close enough smsdmsnsmdnsmd

OK IM DIVERTING RQ BECAUSE IF HE WAS REPAIRED??? [alternatively, holo-chamber fun?] <3333

Legs over his shoulders, completely pinned to the bed, not a single thought left between your ears.

HE LIKES THE CONTROL. He likes seeing you all spread out and brainless, soft and pliable for him. It’s such a delight to see you willingly vulnerable - not only do you feel safe enough to be all limp, but you’re asking for more. Rambling nonsensical little gasps n moans while you try to piece together the thoughts you wanna get out. Absolute bliss, he wants nothing else.

ALTERNATIVELY?? just,, super domestic, just-woke-up saturday morning sex. Something about this man tells me he’d like that. The mixture of Super Close and Your Brain Being Mushy feels up his alley?

If he’s bottoming tho? he isn’t picky about positions, as long as he can feel you against him. When he’s getting his guts rearranged, the proximity is more important than the specifics of how he’s oriented. He’ll take whatever you’ll give him, so long as you give <3

TLDR. he flip-flops between kinda-possessive ego-fueling positions where he can see you all strewn out, and super soft n’ gooey positions. the robot man is versatile, what can I say.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Hmmm there’s a timeline here lemme get out the whiteboard

At the beginning? He’s definitely more serious. a few snarky little comments sprinkled in here and there. You’re pretty sure if he doesn’t say smth snippy every 5 minutes he’ll self destruct.

This kinda plays into the Intimacy question later on but,, the vulnerability that comes with sex makes everything very tense for him. It’s easier to be a Scowling Little Bastard during sex than,, all soft and relaxed.

It also helps him disguised how mind-meltingly flustered he is MSDNSMND

He gets there eventually, but it takes some time!! He unwinds more as you two get into it, yk?

Once touch doesn’t feel New And Scary + sex is smth he’s more accustomed to? Expect the Additional Spattering Of His Very Stupid, Very Cheesy Jokes.

You know its True Love (tm) when one day you pull too hard giving him a handjob and pop his dick out of its socket, dropping it on the floor where it just kinda. vibrates in circles.

without missing a beat, he picks it up, holds it to his ear and straight-faced says, ‘Hello? No they’re busy right now, can I take a message?’

Did this man improv an entire 7 minute conversation with someone on his Vibrating Dick Phone, while you cracked up laughing on the bed? Yes. Was that also the day you decided you were gonna marry him? Also yes.

TLDR. the goofs will increase as he settles into the comfortable nook that is your relationship <3 if he’s cracking a few jokes during sex, you’ve won. he’s wrapped inseparably around your finger, have fun!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

NOT NSFW BUT. OH YOU’LL ABSOLUTELY CATCH HIM FUSSING WITH HIS HAIR. AND OFTEN. Come on he’s so prideful there’s no way you won’t catch him fluffing his hair to make the part sit nicer in any nearby reflective surface.

outside of that HE HAS BODY HAIR AND HE HATES IT. DESPISES IT. ITS SO USELESS TO HIM IT SERVES NO PURPOSE AND AESTHETICALLY HE THINKS ITS NIGHTMARISH. HATE HATE KILL.

He comes to accept it when he removes all of it and realizes he looks. Fucking abhorrent. Smooth like an aubergine. He puts all of it back bc that’s the lesser of two evils.

Nice and fuzzy along his arms, chest, stomach, this very dense but well-tended happy trail. Even a bit on his hands? Like right on the knuckles? <3333333

IF YOU LIKE IT THOUGH??? HE’S GONNA BE WAYYYY MORE PARTIAL TO IT, Because this silly bitch has a praise kink like nobody’s business, and if you say he looks good with chest hair, he’ll make sure that shit is thick enough to braid MSNDSMDNMSND

don’t get me started on the color of this man’s hair I feel like I’m in Home Depot comparing paint swatches. He’s a blonde he’s ginger he’s so obviously brunette but also not. like not any of those. but also all of those. this is The Color Out Of Space. I have been debating this with my friends for months and I will never know peace.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He has a lot of trouble Vocalizing his romantic feelings, but his overall affection for you definitely shows more in bed!!

Every action drools with adoration. You’re surprised you can’t see it radiating off him in waves.

His hands squeeze on every bit of skin he can access, he nearly whines in disappointment when his lips leave your skin, he takes every delicacy to make sure you’re cozy and thoughtless and without worry.

Wordless shows of affection, because trying to vocalize his feelings in the way he means them is like. Idk doing a puzzle in the dark. 

Like he theoretically knows where things should go, and he could probably figure it out with some trial-and-error, but FUCK, IT SURE WOULD BE EASIER IF SOMEBODY TURNED THE LIGHTS ON SMDNSD

Words are so fickle and imprecise, and easy to misconstrue. Actions feel more precise.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If you ask? He’s gonna say he doesn’t, because ’’’’’’’something something he’s above all that, isn’t some weak-willed flesh sack, he has no needs or cravings or things he enjoys because he is the perfect creation’’’’’’’’ etc, etc, etc

It’s utter BULLSHIT this man fucks his fist every other night thinking of you.

ITS JUST. how is he not meant to get distracted when you look like that. all the time. it’s agonizing and you should feel very bad for being such a distraction MSNDMSNM.

especially when,, avenues for actually having sex with you is. limited. considering his current situation. So he makes due with what he has <333

tbh even AFTER he gets out, this man is pretty insatiable, so I can see it still being a semi-regular occurrence!! something something he craves positive sensory input, and sex gives him so much of that.

Methods offer a lot of variety - if he’s still,, yknow,, Slice n’ Diced, it’s gonna be exclusively wire play. Takes a bit of fiddling, but once he’s got it? <333 oh he’s in heaven

If he’s repaired to some degree? his own hand is fine, but I have no doubt this man would 3D print a Fleshlight based off on one [or more] of your holes. Probably several.

It’s nice for those rare times when you’re travelling bc of work and he just. needs you in that idiotic, desperate way that makes his pride start getting spiky.

It’s not as good as the real thing, ofc, but it’s enough to tide him until he can get you back in his arms <333

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

OH BOY <33 WHERE TO BEGIN

I’m not even sure if there’s a word for this but like,, he’s obsessed with seeing you all fucked-out and brainless.

He just,, always seems to be able to find That One Way of fucking you that makes you ASCEND SMDNSMD JUST LIKE A FUCKING,, FULL SYSTEM RESET.

Smth about the mixture of the angle, the rhythm, that barely noticeable vibration? He’s had so much time to perfect his technique that he basically knows you inside out.

He could get you off in seconds if he wanted, but where’s the fun in that?

he loves that point where aren’t even moaning, it’s just this delightful mixture of nonsense and sobbing and desperate nodding in some attempt to tell him to keep going?

THAT. THAT’S HIS SHIT RIGHT THERE. There’s nothing in the world he enjoys more than being able to see your brain shut off, bit by bit. Your limbs slowly going limp, eyes rolling back, law going all slack, until you’re just. mush <3 oughe <3.

[He’d never admit it, but the trust part is what gets him the most. you trusting him to handle you in such a vulnerable state? Not seeing him as a danger? Oh <3333 love isn’t a strong enough word for what he’s feeling]

A FEW OTHERS I’M SO SURE OF (and that i’ve kinda mentioned earlier but shoosh) :

Praise kink!! 

Nobody with this much of an ego who’s given so little affection/appreciation doesn’t have a praise kink <3 he thinks he’s being slick but he,, really isn’t. He perks up visibly when you praise him.

Sensory stuff!! 

Specifically over-stimulation, because this man adores pushing his limits, intense + postitive sensations, etc, but also I raise you,,,, temperature. Wax. Heating up his internal systems. The feeling of the rubber melting off his wires as you hover a lighter beside them. 

Masochism but like. Coppery msdnmsd.

In that same vein? I’m obsessed with the idea of using a drill (dremel?) to etch patterns into the exterior plating of his highly-sensitive motor. That area is already so tender, mixed with his love of Intense Feelings? It just <333 feels like such a good combo.

NEW ONE NEW ONE BC OF PART 2 : FINGERS,, HANDS,,, SUCKA SUCKA HONKA HONKA.

it’s not his strongest kink, but it’s definitely. up there. I mentioned it earlier, but he’ll absolutely get himself riled up just. staring at your hands. While you do unrelated things.

If you slip your fingers into his mouth, his brain will shut off. His eyes unfocus a little, and badabing-badaboom, he’s pliable as a bendy straw.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

nearest. nearest location is favorite location.

OKAY BUT,,,,, he’s especially partial to slightly more risque venues? He’s such a prideful, overconfident bastard. He’d 1000% believe y’all wouldn’t get caught, because he’s too clever to get caught.

That’s also due to circumstance, because even if he does end up getting fully put back together he’s most likely still gonna be stuck in Cognito.

If the holodeck is an option though??

Outdoors. God he isn’t used to the feeling of the sun, and breeze, and just,, nature. You riding him in a [granted, holographically projected] field, under the shade of a big oak tree? being able to feel grass on his legs, breeze filtering through his hair? The smell of earth and pollen? HES SO GONE!!!

Alternatively just,, the softest bed in the world. He isn’t used to Cozy Comfy Sensations, he was trapped in a sterile basement for god knows how long. the idea of fucking you/being fucked into big, plush blankets?He’d eat that shit right up.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

BANTER. He’s a snarky little bastard and having you match his snark or better,,,,, oh boy <333 you can practically see the hearts floating around his head.

LIKE,, he’s not used to having people who keep up with his wit? He’s a super-intelligent AI,, most conversations aren’t very stimulating. 

Especially if you’re confident? <333

ALSO LITTLE TOUCHES. This silly bitch is TOUCH STARVED. TOUCH FAMISHED. Running your hands thought his hair, along his arm. It’s the littlest things that have him going fucking AWOOGA.

Any sort of praise. Any sort of praise. Compliment his smile, you’ll see him go through every human emotion and invent completely new ones. 

[If the words ‘good boy’ slip out at any point, ever, you’ll have him wrapped around your finger like a bandaid]

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that would cause you substantial bodily harm - spanking is fine, slapping is a maybe, but if you’re asking him to,, properly brutalize you? Nope not a chance.

he knows he would never kill you, or purposefully do something he thinks would kill you, but he’s seen how little it takes to put a human out of commission. 

He could do everything perfectly, down to the most precise percent,  and still not be able to 100% predict the damage. he never wants to push things far enough that he can’t be sure of the outcome.

In terms of stuff being done to him? He’s very particular about sensory deprivation.

Light dulling of the senses is fine, and if it’s done right it’s one of his favorites, but if you sink his sensitivity too much it’s just. Bad. Bad and numb. It reminds him much too much of his Pre-Sentience state. 0/10

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

this man will never turn down head are you KIDDING?

<3 he has such limited experience with moisture. His systems just aren’t designed for it - he’ll absolutely upgrade himself eventually but,, even after that, its never smth he gets used to.

THE SLOPPIER THE BETTER <333 noisy, messy, unpredictable. He’s gonna have the tightest clenched fist pressed to his mouth to avoid ‘embarrassing himself’

Dw after about 5~ minutes this man will be keening. 

OH THE JOYS OF FUCKING A ROBOT <33

hours. days. weeks. if the human body did not have needs to fulfill, he’d just keep you laid up in bed getting the best head of your life.

Actually y’know what you’re getting details why not

If you possess a shween :

He’s such a little bastard in the best way. Your dicks gonna hurt for like three days but it’s so worth it <3

He has 0 gag reflex, which is delightful enough as is, but if he focuses he can pop his jaw outta place and OH <333 THE POSSIBILITIES

listen its gonna look a bit horrific so just. um. close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of his vibrating tongue lapping around your balls, while his dick explores your non-existent esophagus.

[although. to loop back for a sec. honestly, he kinda wishes he had a gag reflex <3 occasionally. sometimes. maybe. constantly. there’s just a certain amount of submission that comes with the action that makes his consciousness feel malleable to consider.]

Ok but even outside of pulling out Weird Robot Shit (tm) he’s still gonna be pulling out all the stops

personal favorite of his? Keeping his thumb against that point where your balls meet your shaft, and just,, letting the vibrations work while he sucks you off. Gently massaging upwards, watching you squirm and buck.

usually it isn’t enough to make you cum straight out, but the buzzing sensation definitely helps getting you somewhere malleable

oh and you KNOW he’s swallowing every last drop <3 smth about that oozing, heady heat tricking down his throat, into his faux-stomach makes his toes curl. [he’d never admit it, but he ups his throat sensitivity when you cum <3 just so he can really enjoy himself.]

I can’t think of a silly name for pussy. If you possess a jimberlywomble :

So many kisses

Just,, lips right against your hole, delicately lapping any spare droplet of cum.

There’s something about the mixture of smell + taste that makes this man absolutely pussydrunk. If you popped his head open it’d just be TV static. Giving head is such a soothing activity for him <3

Vibrating,, everything? Fingers, lips, tongue. It starts out so gentle that you can barely notice it’s presence, and before you know it you feel like you’re shaking apart <3

FAVORITE TRICK??? it’s a classic, but fingering you while he tongues your clit? Different vibration settings for fingers vs mouth? <3333 its one of his favorite ways to make you lose coherency

That isn’t to say he can’t make you delirious with just his tongue. He can, and will gladly demonstrate his talents at the drop of a hat. he just likes the noises you make when he combines them <3

if you don’t ask him to stop, he will just go until you lose consciousness.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

HE REALLY TRIES TO BE SLOW AND SWEET ABOUT IT BUT. HE HAS A HABIT OF SPEEDING UP

He wants to savor it but. Again, the worst case of Instant Gratification ever. I cannot emphasize this enough.

I could talk about how this man has so little impulse control etc etc etc but this is HORNY TIME SO

Like it’ll just,, strike him at a random moment that your noises is the most beautiful sound to ever grace his ears and if he doesn’t hear more NowNowNowNow he’s going to die, and WHOOPS the bedframe is broken. How did that happen.

If he stays slow the whole time, it’s either bc you specifically requested it OR he’s decided to be a horrible, dreadful tease. In which case, strap in, it’s gonna be a long night.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

UGH bane of his existence but also the best thing ever.

He appreciates any time he can have with you, but also ever single time he feels himself wanting more - 15 minutes isn’t nearly enough time for him to savor you >:[

Quickies are especially good for teasing him - sneaking off to a broom closet once or twice during the day, satisfying him but not quite enough to get rid of that aching feeling. A nice little appetizer, yk? <3

They definitely don’t,, happen very often. 

PRIMARILY BC HE’S A SNEAKY FUCK AND HAS SUCH A HABIT OF STRETCHING THEM OUT. 

15 minutes turns into 20, turns into 30, turns into ‘only if you’re quick about it - they’re gonna start wondering where I went’ when he asks to taste you, etc, etc.

By the end of it, it’s been nearly an hour and a half, your legs don’t work, and he looks terribly proud of himself. Smug little bastard.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s pretty experimental? There’s very few things he won’t try - like I mentioned before, as long as it isn’t gonna cause you immense harm it’s pretty much fair game

WHEN IT COMES TO RISKS W/ HIMSELF THOUGH HE HAS ZERO PROBLEMS GOING ALL OUT

cause he can just be put back together! Nearly every element of his body is replaceable!

(aside from,, certain personality matrix stuff, but all of that is internal coding shit, nothing you’d be able to accidentally get ahold of)

HE LOVES intense sensations, so wireplay is such a blast jfc - if you wanna start straight up yanking wires and scratching up his motor with a screwdriver, he will be all for it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

OH THE JOYS OF BEING A ROBOT <3333 literally does not need  breaks. He’s built for long stretches of intense work, followed by short diagnostic-recoup crash period. Also he’s an eager bastard and absolutely starved for the physical sensations that come with sex so. YEAH.

he’ll go as long as you care to go <3

ITS LITERALLY UP TO YOU SDMNS,, if your human body wouldn’t turn to paste, he’d probably go for days.

WARNING THOUGH,,, he will get more glitchy with each round, this IS the most sex ever, AND he will pretend he isn’t.

I ELABORATE A BIT MORE ON THIS IN (Z) SECTION BUT. He tends to overextend himself a touch during sex bc,, he doesn’t pay attention that much to his internal systems? This does mean that, occasionally, he’ll just slip into a Sleep Cycle unintentionally right after. silly goose forgets to pace himself.

OH ALSO. he,, is a bit of a quick shot for a number of reasons, but he also doesn’t stop fucking you when he cums, so he just kinda,, hopes you don’t notice?  (you do <3 don’t bring it up he’ll die of embarrassment. his pride cant take it be gentle with him)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

babey he IS the toy!!!! Those fingers vibrate!!!

Aside from the fleshlight I mentioned in a previous section, he really doesn’t see a need to? He’s perfectly able to take care of his needs on his own, and outside of that, he’s got his beautiful partner <3

If you have a vibrator he will be jealous

HE FEELS SO SILLY FOR IT BUT HE DOES. He’s a robot his fingers vibrate why do you use that. He’s memorized exactly what you like. It isn’t even sentient. he’s superior in every way. >:[ why are you laughing at him stop laughing

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Teasing is a tender balance of how much he enjoys seeing you squirm and his,, very limited patience.

Because sure it’s delightful to watch you gasp and squirm as he curls his vibrating fingers in your hole but,, also god wouldn’t it feel better to be inside you?

OH but if he’s intent on teasing you?????? good luck MSNDMSD

You’re gonna understand why ppl murder their husbands. 

Infrared + a dozen other sensors means he can time when he stops down to the microsecond. He’ll keep you so close to the edge you aren’t even sure you’re begging in a decipherable language anymore. If you ask for some T&D prepare for him to be an absolute menace.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

noise = vulnerability = weakness = he’d literally rather combust

You can hear the mechanisms in his jaw straining from how hard he’s clenching it. He’ll make a little sigh or moan and immediately roll his eyes at himself. 

It’s gonna take some time to get him used to the idea of making noise and,, even then he’s gonna be so embarrassed by it. If he thinks too hard on it he’ll cringe himself into a scrapyard.

he feels so. silly. he isn’t some mewling little human dammit >:(((

DESPITE ALL OF THIS,,,, he crumbles so fast if you know what buttons to push

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE CUMS LIKE??? He is. such a naturally talkative person + his systems are under such strain that,, somewhere between you rocking against him and his cock starting to pulse inside you he doesn’t even realize he’s started to ramble.

GRANTED most of it is,, a bit undecipherable. Several of his systems are gonna be hard rebooting

His voice is all rumbly and strained, right at the back of his throat. Little bits of absolutely adoring praise interspersed with swearing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

blinks. I can’t believe I can’t think of one. I’m literally sitting here looking through this document trying to find smth I haven’t already mentioned. Outis is a FRAUD Outis is a FAKE

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

WHERE TO BEGINNNN. I’m gonna assume this one’s for,, fully repaired.

IF I GOTTA BE BRIEF? Just like,, quintessential Dad Bod.

Soft fuzzy hair covering every part,, plenty of stomach and fat and muscle and I am DROOLING MOVING ON-

Actually I’m lying you’re getting a subsection on this

I’m so stuck on him having massive honkers and you can’t take that away from me. I have not a shred of justification aside from just. Look at him. Look at him. IDC if he doesn’t canonically has them, spiritually that man has Big Old Man Tiddies, with a beautiful spattering of ruddy hair.

Big arms, but not that much defined muscle? If he moves around, sure, but in his resting state you don’t see a lot of it. They peek out when u least expect it

Love handles to spare. Grab em during sex if you want to see the still-fleshy section of his face light up poppy red.

mathematically optimized ween

DONT LAUGH HE WORKED VERY HARD ON IT >:[

He will literally construct the Perfect Dick To Maximize Your Joint Pleasure because. He loves you AND he’s dramatic .

Besides, what’s a better way to cool his jealousy than the secured knowledge that nobody else’s dick could ever possibly square up to his?

I have not a single doubt in my mind that this man wouldn’t end up creating some like,, Bad Dragon type of shit. Not his go-to, but as an alternate option for when you want something a bit more intense?

Lots of texture, thick vein-like wires along the shaft - maybe even components that he can move and shift around? He likes to keep you on your toes <3

oh balls <3 literally

He has massive balls. Look at this smug son of a bitch and TELL ME he wouldn’t.

Its also just,, practical? There’s tubing and wiring that goes through there, to make sure the Cum releases smoothly, so making them larger just,, makes things easier?

If you lick them you’re gonna get the prettiest view of him fighting tooth-and-nail to keep his composure together.

The mixture of him loving intense sensations + the wetness of your tongue and mouth + those beautiful eyes looking up at him??? He’s gripping the mattress hard for dear life.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

PLEASE this man was free for maybe,, 3 hrs? 5 max? before getting shoved in a tube in a cold, damp basement for like 6 months to a year? When Tamiko stroked his face I think he experienced Nirvana? This question answers itself

Like I’ve mention before, he’d fuck you for days if not for the fact that you’d. die

At first he’s gonna be very. Stiff and hesitant to initiate things but once he’s got his footing he’s gonna be such a TERROR.

listen if you didn’t want him jumping your bones in your office then. maybe look less fantastic idk what to tell ya <3. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

EHE >:) you would think that bc he’s an AI he doesn’t need any rest but you would be WRONG 

HES GOT A DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE BABEY <333 WHICH IS,, BASICALLY SLEEP AS MUCH AS HE LIKES TO PRETEND IT ISNT <33

He doesn’t have to do it, technically. He can function for multiple months without it, but,,,,, he gets some visible processing problems.

Every,, 72~ hours, it’s ideal for him to power down and allow his systems to do some checks - make sure everything’s working right, maybe switch up some pathways, optimize some coding. Basic stuff!!

THAT TIMEFRAME SHORTENS SO MUCH AFTER SEX THOUGH. It activates a shit ton of systems and he has a tendency to overtax them in the heat of the moment.

USUALLY, like 98% of the time, he’s just as fine as when you two started!! Could probably go for even longer!!

it’s just when he already hasn’t rested in a hot minute AND has gone a few rounds AND hasn’t been taking good care of his systems that. he’s gonna start to get,, Properly Drowsy.

like it doesn’t hit him,, how much he’s overtaxed his systems until he’s stopped.

Sue him for not being worried about the efficiency of his fucking,, ~coolant pumps~ when he’s railing you against the kitchen table.

It’s kinda like when you pull an all-nighter and you feel fine and then. The second you sit down you fucking,, crash into a whole new dimension of exhaustion. You can taste thoughts and your eyes feel like you’re made of oil.

His ’’tired’’ glitches are very specific - his voice doesn’t skip, so much as it gets more fuzzy? You can hear a bit of a static overlay, like you’re hearing him through a walkie-talkie. Duke Nukem Compressed Voice type of vibe

HE GETS SLIGHT PROCESSING DELAYS WHEN HE NEEDS TO DO HIS DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE. AND YES, OFC HE TRIES TO PRETEND EVERYTHING/S FINE.

You’ll ask him a question and know 100% he did not catch a goddamn lick of that shit sdSMNDMSDN not once spare iota of processing power left between those ears babey.

he just. doesn’t want the moment to end. it’s so nice just being with you during the afterglow. Doesn’t matter how much his systems bug him to power down, he’s not even thinking of it until you’re fast asleep

.......... if you wanna get him asleep though, rest his head against your chest and play with his hair. The mixture of your heartbeat + your fingers against his artificial scalp?

clik-clik-wroom he’s out like a light <3

ALMOST 6000 WORDS, JESUS

THAT WAS SO LONG AND SO FUN AND. truly I am bananas for this man. the folly of Outis. I hope this gave you some of my brainworms, and if you read this to the end I’m making us friendship bracelets as we speak <333

I might do some more of these for other characters in the future but :o hold me not to these words, I am a busy boy smdnsmd ANYWAYS BYE MWAH HAVE A GREAT DAY <333

EDIT : OH AND. IF THERES ANY ELEMENTS YOU WANT ME TO ELABORATE ON, GO NUTS. YOU KNOW IM UNABLE TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS MAN.

#minors dni #alpha-beta #nsft. #inside job #robotus alpha-beta #robotus alpha-beta x reader #alpha-beta x reader #ME? making a written post that ISNT an ask? truly i must be succumbing to disease #ALSO I KNOW THESE ARE USUALLY DONE IN. PARAGRAPHS BUT. NO #SMNDSMD #NO THNX NEXT QUESTION #i just :o point form gives so much fun room for me to be goofy. such delight and whimsy #men will condense every hrony thought they have about their F/O into one post and succumb to eldritch madness #YKNOW IN JUNE WHEN I WAS LIKE 'ohoho im making a big post >:)' THIS WAS IT. I JUST FUCKIN. IDK I THOUGHT I ALREADY PUT IT UP- #I WAS SO SURE I ALREADY POSTED THIS BESTIES SO SORRY #SMDNSM LITERALLY I WAS GOING THROUGH DRAFTS TODAY LIKE 'OH NAUR THIS CANNOT BE' SMNDSMD #CAUSE I WAS LIKE 'hm ive been getting an uptick of ABfkcukers in my notes I wonder why this isnt getting traction' <- didnt fucking post it #slowly putting myself in the stocks but. fails halfway through bc i can't lock it. so i just sit there pretending its locked #annieway. #ENNIEWAES. MWA. I LOVE THIS MAN CARNALLY #SMDNSMD #I WROTE THIS OUT MONTHS AGO AND JUST. FORGOT TO POST. SO NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT I GUESS #i still remember when smb was like 'yknow Cognitosclowns sure does write a lot of ab stuff' AND TO THAT PERSON IM WRITING A FORMAL APOLOGY #I did so many edits to this it was. so fucking long and for WHAT SMDNSDM

[assortedvillainvault]

Hello! May I request romantic headcanons for Hades with eldritch horror (maybe from lovecraft) s/o?

You absolutely know you can Anon! I'm afraid that beyond knowing the rough jist of cthulu I'm not very familiart with Lovecrafts works, BUT I am intensely familiar with Eldritch Vibes, so I'll do my best!

Hades x Eldritch Horror!S/O:

Hades is in a unique position amongst the greek pantheon.

Technically, he's alone, for one.

The other gods reside amongs eachother and make such a din they can't hear anything beyond themselves. There ARE other Gods that reside in the underworld, older than him, and not of Cronus's bloodline, but he gives them a respectable distance and they him. As such, he's alone with his thoughts. A lot.

Second, the Underworld is simultaneously silent as the grave and blindingly loud. The wails of a hundred million souls give him migrains, but he's long since developed the skill of closing his eyes and tuning them out to a persistent grind of background noise.

Noise eerily similar to static. Which is the background noise of the universe itself. He leans back in his throne and lets it roll over him.

And under the static and the screaming and the sass of his minions and the sheer weight of the earth above him, he begins to hear something.

It's less hearing a 'noise', but more akin to the sound of a vast mass moving underwater. A shift in perpective as something moves through space. He's a dot, and this thing is unspeakably massive. Large enough to block out the stars he misses seeing.

Then the thing opens it's eyes and smiles.

Holy Him-

-he about launches himself off his throne and out of his general senses back into the waking world as he attempts to figure out what in the fresh fuck THAT was.

He knows earth isn't alone, he knows there's a vastness of chaos beyond the sky that forms the stars, but it's the first time he's ever encountered something within it while projecting to distract himself from his dayjob. His heart is pounding, his flame is all over the place and wow, so this needs investigating further huh?

Daydreaming on the job becomes a disturbing regularity.

Your size fluctuates when he 'sees' you. Sometimes you're closer to his height but impossibly long, streching back into the birthplace of stars. Other times the earth is a marble in your grip and he's on your fingertip, yammering away.

The first you spoke it rattled him down to his atoms and he couldn't help but grin stupidly. That was a sensation to be enjoyed.

To you he's a flickering blue star wreathed in smoke with yellow edges. He can't even keep the lovestruck dopey smile off his face during council meetings on Olympus, your description of his godly spark bouncing around under his ribs and threatening to turn his flame a bashful pink if he thinks too hard about it.

When you first attempt to visit him properly in the material plane, on earth, things...don't go exactly as planned.

Athens is burning, people are screaming and running in circles, the ones attempting to make sense of your form glitching through the clouds have their eyes roll back into their skulls and reduced to gibbering messes. The sun is blocked, the night sky overlapping with dying yellow from the false sunset, and he's so busy gawping at the portion of you curled into continent length tentacles that he can't even hear the soul meter catching fire behind him as it screams through the numbers of fresh dead making their way downstairs.

Zeus helplessly calls for a rallying cry from the gods but not even Cronus was this vast, and they're hilariously outmatched.

The way they zip around you is akin to mosquitoes and he guffaw's as you flick them away. He can feel your distatse rumble through space straight into his head and he can't help but laugh back and give a mental thumbs up.

The Next time, you manage to be a bit more discreet.

If ripping through spacetime like a knife through...well, clouds, and stepping out onto Olympus proper counts as discreet, that is.

There's a scream and a sudden hush as you coil through. Vaguely humanoid if you don't look too hard, flesh rippling backard into tentacles that reach through the sky and the ends of which can't be seen. Stars and nebulas flash across your skin like freckles, and your eyes burn with the dying force of supernovas as they are swallowed by black holes.

You are the hottest thing he has ever fucking seen.

You stretch out a hand to him and he's already there, fingers entwined, ecstatic that he can see you and feel out on his plane of existence. He forgets his extented family is even there.

Zeus inhales but doesn't even get the chance to speak as you smack him striaght out of the cloud layer.

The assembled gods mutter and keep their distance as you two basically meet cute in the middle of the meeting like nobodies business, eventually leaving you both alone.

The last one to leave is Aphrodite, who catches his eye as he goes. She elegantly gives you an appraising look, taking in the eldritch space monstrosity who could decimate them all at moments notice and currently wrapped all around him.

She smirks and gives him a thumbs up before sashaying away with the other gods in pace.

#thalassa responds #ANON I AM ASCENDING #thank you so so much for the ask this was a blast #disney villains #x reader #hades #hades x reader #eldritch s/o you have my whole heart #more reality bending shit with the gods please this is a genuine delight to write #aphrodite highkey a freak and approves the adventurous route

[theabysscomeshome]

I'm trying to catch up on all the quests I've fallen behind on as we head toward next patch, and. Thinking a lot right now about the Abyss and who's connected to it, and I don't know if I ever shared on here my favorite definitely-not-canon headcanon that the kid who came back from the Abyss after Ajax fell in was not actually Ajax, but a creature who is ecstatic over having an actual corporeal human body to live in and determined to make the most of it.

#ch: childe #i don't think it fits with canon #the personality change is almost definitely simply abyss influence #but consider: eldritch abyss creature who dotes on his new siblings because he's delighted by the simple joy of HAVING siblings #who's just here to hang out and have fun #it's just his definition of fun includes a lot of murder #drom has opinions about genshin

[imminent-danger-came]

I only JUST realized azure lion had a actual icarus arc where he flew too close to the sun in his ambitions and burned to ash before drowning in the waves of his own failures. man LEGITIMATELY flew too close to the sun in so many ways man

the sun- the jade emperors power

the son wukong- the monkey king who doesnt abide by azure lions idea of a better world and what it costs

and the son- monkie boy who's had it up to HERE with azure lions none sense

I kinda love it, azure got exactly what he was warned he was gonna get. stuck his whole arm in that monkey cage man

I KNOW. AZURE IS SUCH A TRAGIC ICARUS TYPE CHARACTER

I've mentioned it before but that's like, lowkey every antagonist in this show. It goes like this:

Antagonist is caught for doing something they probably shouldn't be doing, and is then sealed away.

Antagonist is released when they shouldn't be, and instead of going "hmmm maybe I need to re-evaluate myself" they go directly back to their previous plans. "To live past the end of your myth is a perilous thing" —Anne Carson. All of these antagonists desperately want to live past the end of their myths and keep their story going (and they are doomed to fail).

Antagonist, who was stopped by Sun Wukong in the past, is now stopped by MK, either becoming their own undoing and destroying themselves or giving up (LBD, Spider Queen, and Azure being the former, with DBK being the latter).

#AND SO HERE'S WHY ELDRITCH ABOMINATION MK WOULD BE SO FUCKING GOOD— *gets shot* #*reanimates* —Because if Wukong stopped MK in the past like he's done for every other antagonist #that means MK has to stop himself THIS time #And we've already gotten hints of that with Curse MK V Regular MK. And it'd really resolve MK's identity and self-loathing arcs in like #SUCH a delightful way #MK ''Harbinger of chaos''-ing it and having to stop himself. Not going through with whatever previous plans his past life had. #Which is how he can save himself and his friends you know #I'm deranged. I know. But think about it. #Think about how good it would be. #lmk #lego monkie kid #asks #lmk theory #eamk theory

[mtreebeardiles]

#Kieran the Eldritch Knight #Kieran x Gale #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #kept the more obviously spoilery ones under a cut #my half-orc bb who kicked ass and took names #absolute delightful class to play

[eldritchships]

"Blurr isn't suave or sexy he's in fact a massive dork." Lol. Lmao. I know 🥰

#Eldritch gushes #BlurrLine #I just found that tag delightful #Yes I do know in fact that's the reason he's appealing

[alexanderlightweight]

Wednesday prompt: poison apple

My dear anon I hope you enjoy ‘this eldritch delight’ because you inspired the next chapter of it!

—

Alec is admiring the orchard Magnus brought him to, reaching up to pluck an apple when a frantic voice yells, “wait!”

Alec glances at Magnus, gets an eye roll of exasperation and then he plucks the apple anyway, admiring its red blush and poison green patches of skin.

“Is there a problem?” He asks and Magnus reaches out for his hand and presses a kiss to the knuckle holding his engagement ring.

“If it is, will you let me handle it?” Magnus asks and his golden eyes have Alec’s mouth dry, like poison lingered too long on his tongue.

“Just this once.” Alec grins, because he can’t let Magnus have all the fun, “we can negotiate by outing?” And Magnus pulls him closer by his hand and bites into the apple Alec is holding.

There’s a shriek and suddenly a form is trying to get between them and Alec stays still, letting Magnus deal with the pests.

After all, Magnus deserves to have fun too.

—

Magic materializes as boughs and branches twist in ways they shouldn’t to contain the new presence and Magnus scowls at the new orchard caretaker.

The last one knew him by name and by presence… which could actually explain why there was a need for a new seelie in the position of caretaker.

The other one was looking a bit worn after Magnus’ many and extensive visits.

“You can’t be here.” They tell him and it’s clear they don’t know who he is, which is, well, rude. Not knowing who he is normally allowed, but they’re also interrupting a date with Magnus’ fiancé.

Which is not allowed.

“I’m Magnus Bane.”

And their eyes widen and Magnus can feel the pulse of their frightened heartbeat through the magic that binds them.

“I can go anywhere I want.”

And he turns and casually takes another bite of the apple Alexander is holding.

Juice drips down his chin and before he can magic it away, Alexander leans forwards and kisses him, licking away the juice.

“It’s poison.” The seelie is whispering at them in horror, “everything in this realm is deadly to touch or taste; sometimes even to breathe and look upon.”

There’s silence because Magnus hasn’t explained that little tidbit yet, it was supposed to be a surprise.

“Magnus!”

And Alexander is looking at him with fever -bright eyes and suddenly Magnus is in thick, strong arms and he’s being twirled.

His coat flares around them and when they settle, he lets Alexander have one moment of dizzy smiles and then Magnus dips him.

They kiss, the nectar of death sweet on their tongues and Alexander drops the apple that he’d managed to hold on to, even when picking Magnus up.

It rolls and Magnus pays it no mind, not when Alexander’s face is flushed and as pleased as the pink of dawn.

“Shall we go on then?” Magnus asks and summons a basket for them each, and then because he is a gentleman, he summons a parasol.

He quite likes the view of Alexander shaded by the silk of abyssal nightmoths. It deepens the mosaic of his eyes into a deep lagoon that Magnus wants to drown in. The lines of his face are darkened, making his features sharper and more wild and Alexander smiles more widely, his teeth sharp and gleaming in the shade.

It’s so enchantingly adorable that Magnus leans over and kisses Alexander's cheek, lips lingering as he sighs happily.

“I was thinking we could try our hand at jam.” Magnus explains as Alexander crouches. His fiancé leans back on his heels, parasol tucked to his thigh to protect him and basket in front of him as he plucks and tastes a currant.

“These would be good for scones.” Alexander tells him, holding several out and Magnus accepts them with a hum of pleasure.

They’re a little sweet, a little bitter but the tang of acid trying to dissolve his esophagus is what truly brings out the sour sharpness.

Magnus sits next to Alexander and then relaxes in contentment when Alec immediately changes positions so Magnus can pillow his head on Alexander's shaded thigh.

“Your thigh is so cold, darling.” Magnus can’t help but compliment, “truly my oasis in the desert, though I don’t recall it normally being this chilling.”

Alexander chuckles and his laugh reverberates through his whole body, sending a generous shiver down Magnus’ spine.

“The wintergreen patch we just passed. I’m not sure what the name is; but it’s trying to turn my blood to ice.”

“Ooh.” Magnus can’t help but gasp out, “lovely, how could you not tell me sooner?” And he settles his face into one of disappointment, “did you at least get me some as well?”

And Alexander reaches into his basket and pulls out a sprig of white mint leaves and Magnus lets himself be fed.

It burns like ice on a salted wound and Magnus moans as the taste of an avalanche floods his mouth.

“We are turning that into tea.” Magnus reaches up to cup Alexander's face, “perhaps we should even take a cutting?”

“I’d like that,” he’s told and then Alexander is quietly plucking the berries in reach, slow so as to give Magnus as much time to rest.

“Do you think we should make some elderberry cordial?” Magnus asks drowsily and he doesn’t hear the answer, drifting off on Alexander's lap.

—

Alec blinks down at Magnus’ sweetly dozing form.

He’s so still that he looks like a corpse and Alec smiles, knowing that Magnus will enjoy his nap comfortably.

He runs out of berries to pick soon enough and so he leans back on his elbows on the shards of grass and watches Magnus’ sleep.

He’s gorgeous and larger than life, even when he looks lifeless and Alec traces Magnus’ arm, where the muscles strain and kiss at the silk enshrouding them.

There’s noise, the rustle of a predator and Alec sorts the berries by size as it approaches.

Whatever it is, it’s enough for him to notice and so he’s not too surprised when magic suddenly strikes and there is a high pitched but faint scream that sounds like a nightmare demon and then silence.

“Scorpions from the wandering woods. Fairly potent ones, even I might have had a nice dream if I’d been bit.” Magnus yawns from where he’s gently waking up; “you weren’t worried?” Magnus’ voice is hoarse from his slumber and Alec laughs, a light thing like the ash of a corpse.

“Magnus—“ Alec leans down so he can kiss the tip of Magnus' nose. “What could I possibly worry about when your magic is so intoxicatingly lethal?”

“I am rather deadly.” Magnus admits with the little preen he gets when he’s pleased Alec is being so honest.

Magnus calls them compliments which Alec doesn’t get, he’s just stating facts.

#shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #immortal husbands #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #prompt fic #prompt fill #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets #this eldritch delight #lumine writes

[fate-defiant]

A very fun feature of a Princess Tutu/TMA crossover is how much more hopefull it makes the TMA universe and how much more terrifying it makes Princess Tutu.

#the oak tree is suddenly no longer a neutral force. or at least it didnt start out as one #but rather a fear-borne entity #my boi fakir is suddenly web and eye-ish aligned. he never asked for this shit #like yes given the mechanics of Princess Tutu hope is now affordable BUT #its like when you grow up and realize 'wait that thing that happened to me as a kid was so fucked up' #''what do you MEAN i was abused???'' ''what do you MEAN the world is a battleground between eldritch fear entities? since WHEN???'' #''SINCE ALWAYS???? B I T C H?????????????'' #fakirs horrible terrible no good... lifetime really. goddamn #fate.txt #duck in the jarchives what delights will she bring #do not archive

[echthr0s]

all of us talkin bout "bring back wet gross slimy effects in horror movies" meanwhile indie film directors are frantically wavin their arms at us tryin to get our attention. just desperate to give us what we want

#yeah it's wet and gross mostly bc the sound mixing is bad LOL but it's got the spirit and that's what matters!!!! #also don't you ever just want to cackle in truly delighted gremlin glee at some of the most floppy rubbery juicy practical effects #no social commentary though sorry. just eldritch dick monsters <3

[hauntedfalcon]

obviously this woman dated the Nightmare King. the question is why didn’t they get married

#Critical Role for ts #I love her so fucking much. full Jim Henson eldritch shit #the sheer delight on Ashley’s face was rivaled only by the delight on mine

[fissions-chips]

As it stands Britva is the only other god I’ve got for the Eldritch AU (though in my self-indulgent mind I toss around Valentine existing somewhere out there, never to interact with the AU’s ‘canon) because unfortunately I have little interest in any of the fairy antagonists as giant monsters (love them, but they don’t suit that vibe) and as much as I love to hate Kronski, he really works best as solely a human antagonist.

#Spiro alas is one of the main ‘protagonists’ of the AU within my head as he’s instead a part of Tim’s faction. so no big monster Jon (there #- will be other AUs I suppose). #Britva’s appearance is largely leviathan-like and the Mafiya are not only his henchmen but his cult. #Valentine would be kinda snake-y and just lives off somewhere with his own little personal group of ‘lotus eaters’ if you will. #the fun thing about having an AU that will never be a big-scale project (though I do plan to write smaller fics for it) is that it’s #basically a giant sandbox. i can have my giant eldritch monsters and their loyal Butlers and Jon the resident ‘new guy’- and I can even mak #them kiss if I want. delightful.