#this also makes me excited for the uzumaki anime coming this fall

[bootlickerhawks]

one of my favorite things in anime is when everything goes black & white

i love that it can be used for somber/tragic moments (like hxh 131) or for epic triumphant moments (like black clover)

seeing black&white animation scratches an itch in my brain ☺️

#cami.txt #this also makes me excited for the uzumaki anime coming this fall #i wish i could be more eloquent abt my appreciation #this post may (or may not) have been prompted by the fact that i've been watching That Moment in hxh 131 over and over again #hell it's not even just in anime arcane did it too (when jinx fires the shark rocket)

[narutogwriting]

Touch Starved

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

CW: none

Length: 4k+

Inspired by this picture

Requests are Open!

“Naruto?”

Your voice broke out softly through the momentary silence. The wind had been howling almost constantly that night, keeping you wide awake. You weren’t afraid of anything, not really. At twelve years old, you, like many of your friends, had the notion that you were invincible. Nothing could touch you, and you would always come out on top. You would miss that as you grew older, the confidence in yourself and your abilities. The belief that the world was fair, and that the good guys always won.

So it wasn’t really that you were scared of the way the wind screamed, the whistles through the tree leaves or the sporadic loud crashes that came as the wind blew branches and even tree trunks to the ground. Maybe it was the fact that you had experienced the first death of an enemy on a mission.

And maybe it was deserved. He had been a criminal, after all, and you hadn’t delivered the fateful blow; of course not. It had been Kakashi, in a bid to save your life.

So maybe you were scared, or traumatized, or reeling from your innocence being shattered for the very first time. Whatever you felt, you were still too young, too inexperienced, to be able to pinpoint what exactly the distressed tugging of your heart meant.

It was what had dragged you from your own tent to Naruto’s, quietly and nervously. Kakashi was in his own tent, and you had been sharing with Sakura who was fast asleep. Having her by your side did nothing to calm the storm beginning to brew from inside you.

You had opened his tent timidly, doing your best not to startle him awake. He was fast asleep, on his side in fetal position hugging his pillow to him tightly. But when you spoke his name, your voice stirred him even from his deep slumber.

Naruto whispered your name, groggily, confused, but he’d know your voice anywhere.

Yawning, he sat up rubbing at his eyes, peering at you curiously. “What happened?” He asked.

“Can I sleep in here with you?”

If you were brave, then there were no words adequate enough to describe the courage that burned within Naruto’s heart. He was sure of himself, of what he believed. He would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He would do anything for you. You couldn’t think of a safer place than by his side.

“Yeah, of course.”

Relief flooded through you as you dragged your sleeping bag into the tent, fitting it next to his with some distance of course. You were best friends, but you were also twelve. There was something embarrassing about sleeping so close to someone of the opposite gender. But you couldn’t remember a time where you had ever slept more soundly.

And thus a new tradition had been born. For the whole year and a half afterwards, anytime you and Naruto were on a mission together, you shared a tent. Sure some of your friends teased you for it, and whatever jonin leading your team would shoot the two of you knowing looks as if they had some secret knowledge that you and Naruto hadn’t yet discovered.

But for you and Naruto, it was normal, as natural as anything. The two of you already spent all your time by each other’s side—it only made sense that that would include sharing a tent when on missions together.

It was only ever a tent though. It wasn’t like the two of you cuddled or anything. That was just embarrassing! Though you two were now out of the stage of believing in cooties, you were beginning to understand that there were some secret, unspoken rules for the way you were expected to act with the other gender. Ridiculous, arbitrary rules that were as old as time and didn’t account for the complexity that was the gender spectrum, but you didn’t understand any of that just yet.

When Naruto left, you were heartbroken, of course. Shattered even. You’d never known that it could feel like you had a hole in your heart until Naruto had taken part of yours with him. You dreaded the years to come of missing him.

But he had work to do and so did you. Naruto was going to get stronger and there was no way you would be left behind. Every time you missed him, you threw yourself into your training. The years didn’t pass quickly, but you found as time went on you were able to find other things that made you feel more whole even when you weren’t.

And just as suddenly, that void was filled. Blond hair and bright orange clothing filled your vision and kicked your heart up into your throat. You hadn’t expected to see him, but nothing could have made you happier.

You’d worried over the years that when Naruto came home, things would be different. Spending two and a half years apart changed things, and you had grown a lot. But you and Naruto fell into step together like he had never left, and just like that you had your best friend back.

But things had changed, though you weren’t going to admit that. When his blue eyes met yours, your breath stopped. Every time his fingers ran through his hair, it was like you were in another world. Part of you knew things were different, but you were never going to say it out loud. You buried your feelings deep within you, hiding your heart like a secret.

The thing that made you most nervous was when you and Naruto had your first mission together since he’d been back. You, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, just like the mission where you’d first shared a tent. You didn’t know what to say, embarrassed to ask if you would both share a tent like when you were younger. If that had been embarrassing when you were twelve, it was even worse when you were sixteen.

 When your team stopped for camp Kakashi went to secure the perimeter and Sakura to gather firewood. You went to work setting up your own tent when you felt Naruto’s presence behind you. You turned to look at him. He was standing there, scratching the back of his head, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked anywhere but at you.

“I didn’t bring a tent…” He admitted sheepishly. “When we were younger, we always shared a tent, and I figured we’d just do that again… I can share with Kakashi, though, if it’s weird. I don’t mean to—” 

“Naruto,” You interrupted him with a laugh, though the color on your cheeks now matched his. “Of course we can share a tent.” You told him, turning back to your work as you set it up. “Don’t be weird.” You weren’t sure if it was a message to him or to yourself.

Unlike everything else with Naruto’s return, sleeping by Naruto didn’t feel as natural as it had before. There was a tension, almost palpable, settling in the tent. It was as if there was a string attaching your fingers to his, and the more the string pulled you to him, the closer to your sides you kept your hands. You couldn’t know that he felt it too.

The mission was straight forward and accomplished quickly. As soon as it started, it ended, and your team was heading back to the leaf village, only a days journey away. You would stop around the same area you had the night before, camping for the evening before heading home at daylight. You and Naruto had barely talked the whole way.

That night reminded you of the one when you had first crawled into Naruto’s tent. The wind was roaring making it hard to fall asleep. It was winter this time, however, and you hadn’t accounted for the night being so cold. The clothes you’d chosen to sleep in did nothing to keep in your body’s warmth, and your teeth chattered audibly as you curled into your sleeping bag, back to Naruto.

When your name left his hips, it almost startled you. The two of you had crawled into the tent quietly, not even bothering to say goodnight, the weight of the change in your relationship that you could both feel hanging heavy between you.

“Yeah?” You found yourself saying back, almost too quietly for him to hear. Almost.

“Uh, do you wanna, I dunno, sleep in my sleeping bag with me?” He mumbled, the words coming out fast and bunching together. “It’s just really cold, and I’m afraid that your teeth are going to break from clicking together so hard.” He hoped the joke would make it less weird, that you would feel more comfortable.

The question choked you with something you didn’t have words for, a feeling that bubbled in your stomach, spreading warm and shaky throughout your body.

“Okay.”

You crawled slowly, oh so slowly from your bag to his. He tried to scoot to one side, to make room. He unzipped the bag just a little bit, enough for you to crawl in next to him before he zipped it back up. There wasn’t enough room for you to lay comfortably next to him. Your body was on his just a bit, head by his chest and your arms pressed tightly to your side. You felt frozen with excitement and nerves. This was as close to a boy as you’d ever been. 

The silence seemed to go on forever, but it was just a few seconds. Naruto’s arm had been pressed motionless to his sides, but slowly he felt them thaw before wrapping around your body, pressing you to him. 

“You can like, hug me, ya know? Or put your arms on me or something. Just to be more comfortable.”

You nodded, your throat dry as you tried to swallow. You unlatched your arms from your body, a hand going up to rest on his chest. It only took a moment or two to get comfortable, to feel like your body fit perfectly into his. Falling asleep in Naruto’s arms, that was the most comfortable you’d ever slept.

The next morning, there wasn’t an awkwardness. It was something else, something sweeter, shyer. The string pulled your fingers closer, and though your hand didn’t touch his, neither did it pull away. You’d never felt so giddy in your life.

If only you knew what it meant to Naruto.

Naruto couldn’t remember one time in his life that he had cuddled with another person. He was sure that he must’ve been held at least occasionally as a baby, but it wasn’t anything he could remember. No one hugged him as he grew, no one tucked him in at night or rocked him to sleep. Once, when he was four, Naruto had found a puppy that got away from its owner. Naruto scooped the small animal up, holding him in his arms. The puppy had licked him affectionately, and Naruto was embarrassed by the fact that the small action had brought him to tears. Iruka’s hand on his head was the first affectionate touch he could remember from another person. He’d thought his heart would burst at that moment. It was nothing compared to what he’d felt getting to hold you while he slept. 

He’d heard people say that hugging could lower stress, elevate your mood, even help prevent you from getting sick. He’d never understood it. Naruto had occasionally hugged Sakura and gotten affectionate touches from his sensei as he got older, but sleeping with you was different.

He understood now what the experts meant when they spoke about the benefits of hugging. He could comprehend why romantic relationships were so important to people if they got to touch their partner every day. Cuddling with you that night had Naruto’s head reeling, high off an emotion he didn’t even have a name for. He’d never felt so close to another person, so connected. How had he survived sixteen years without this? How had he survived those two and a half years training without you?

It was a mix of emotions as your head hit your pillow that night. You were relieved to have been able to take a shower. A home cooked meal never tasted so good as it did after a mission where you survived off dried meats. The softness of your mattress definitely beat the cold hard ground. But, you realized, you would gladly spend a lifetime sleeping on the floor of the woods if you got to sleep by Naruto’s side.

It was too scary to think about these new feelings. You knew what it was now, that you didn’t just see Naruto as your best friend. You liked Naruto. Maybe even more than liked him. You didn’t know how this could have happened. How could you ever face him again? If he knew how you felt, your friendship would be ruined.

You had resolved to avoid him for the foreseeable future so that you could wait out the feelings. Maybe if you had some time apart, the feelings would go away, and nothing would have to change between the two of you.

Your eyes had finally started to flutter closed with exhaustion when you heard tapping on your window, startling you. Sitting up, you looked uncertainly towards the window before finally getting up and going to inspect the noise. Naruto’s face peering back at you from the other side was the last thing you expected to see.

Opening the window as quietly as you could, you willed the butterflies in your stomach to quell. “Naruto, what are you doing here?” You whispered, glancing back towards your bedroom door, sure that your parents would burst through at any moment.

Naruto looked sheepishly back at you, a bashful grin on his face. “Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked. Rolling your eyes, you did your best to bite back the giddy smile playing on your own lips.

“Yes, Naruto. I’m trying to sleep. What are you doing here?” You asked him again. Instead of answering, Naruto began climbing through your window, making a little too much noise. You shushed him with a stifled giggle as he fell to the floor. “You’re going to wake my parents,” You told him, trying to look stern. Naruto hopped back up to his feet looking at you embarrassedly. 

“I couldn’t sleep…” He admitted, his eyes flickering from yours back to the floor. “I was wondering… Do you think I could sleep here tonight?”

The question hung between the two of you, innocent and unassuming. It wasn’t that weird, the two of you were thinking. You shared a tent on missions; was it that different sharing a bed?

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, feeling breathless. Naruto was in his pajamas too, you realized, decked in a white t shirt and orange sweats. You turned from him, walking slowly to your bed, doing your best not to make any noise. “You have to leave before my parents are up, okay?” You whispered as you climbed back into your bed.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically, following after you. “I will, believe it!” He said a little too loudly for someone that wasn’t supposed to be there. You shot him a look, though you couldn’t help but smile.

Climbing into the bed after you, Naruto got comfortable under the covers, and the two of you laid next to each other silently. Staring at the ceiling, you wondered if Naruto could hear the sound of your heartbeat as it rang in your ears. This was fine. This was normal for two best friends.

You weren’t sure how long you laid there, more awake than you had been before. You closed your eyes, doing your best to get some rest and failing miserably. You were too aware of Naruto’s presence beside you. He seemed to have fallen asleep long ago if his rhythmic breathing was anything to go by.

And then, suddenly, you felt him rolling over. His hand reached out in the darkness, finding you and pulling you flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, holding you to him before his body went still again. You froze, looking up at his face. Was he awake? Had he meant to do that? It was impossible to tell with his eyes screwed shut. 

You felt alive, truly alive, for the first time in your life. Nothing had ever felt so right.

The next morning, as promised, Naruto was back out the window before your parents woke up. The two of you had stayed in that position all night, and when Naruto began to shift awake, he looked at you with a shy, lopsided smile. All he said was a quiet “good morning” before he was sneaking out.

And there was no way to hide now that things had definitely changed. It was unspoken, but you both knew it. Neither of you knew what to say about it, didn’t know if you even should say anything about it. It wasn’t bad. It was good, better than good, but so new and unexplored for the both of you that you didn’t know how to approach the subject, so you said nothing about it. 

It became a regular occurrence for Naruto to climb through your window every night to sleep in your bed. Each time he did, it became easier for Naruto to pull you into him as he fell asleep, and every morning when he left, you wondered how you had ever slept without Naruto’s arms around you.

All of your friends noticed the change between you and Naruto too, though no one said anything. They all exchanged curious glances with each other, seeing how easily Naruto touched you now and the way the two of you looked at each other just a little bit longer than you used to. But no one knew about your and Naruto’s extended sleepover, and so they all whispered among themselves, but said nothing about it to your faces.

When your parents decided to move back to the village that you had been born in, they gave you the option to stay in the leaf. You were only sixteen, but you were a ninja afterall. You were more than capable of making your own choices and taking care of yourself.

And of course you stayed. This was where your life was, where your friends were. Even more importantly, this was where Naruto was. 

So when you told him your predicament, that you needed to find a new place to stay, he didn’t hesitate in offering to stay with him. You were sitting at his kitchen table when he said it, and he immediately began pushing things around the small apartment. “You see? We can put your bed here, and can move this over here…” He motioned to the space he had created. “It may be a little cramped, but at least until you can find something else?”

Of course your friends teased the two of you about your new living arrangements. Never when you were together. Everyone was insistent, desperate to be the one that got one of you to cave and admit your feelings for each other. For your part, you just smiled and said, “He’s my best friend.”

And that flew for a while. The same people that had been sure you and Naruto were meant to be began to wonder if they had it wrong all along, began to wonder if you and Naruto truly were just friends.

They didn’t know that you never got around to getting your own bed at Naruto’s house. That first night, you just shared his bed because you’d been doing it for so long. The same thing happened the next night, and the night after that, and the thought of getting a separate bed just didn’t seem that important. And anyways, you’d gotten used to sleeping by Naruto’s side. Naruto knew that if you got your own bed, he would just climb into yours every night.

You were only sixteen, but Naruto wanted nothing more than to spend every night by your side. He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he’d ever been so happy. There was so much on his mind all the time, the oncoming war, getting Sasuke back. And even with the chaos surrounding him, Naruto was at peace because of you. He had a confidence that everything would work out okay. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which it wouldn’t.

It was the first time that Sakura and Ino had stopped by since you’d moved in that it was pointed out how unconventional your arrangement was. Sure, you both knew it wasn’t exactly normal, but it worked for the two of you. You didn’t see any harm in it.

Naruto was away on a mission when the girls had stopped by, needing to borrow something. When you let them in, they excitedly looked around the small studio apartment, wanting to see if and how you had changed Naruto’s place.

“Uh, where’s the other bed?” Sakura asked as you closed a cupboard, pulling out the tupperware they needed. 

“Hm?” You asked, placing it on the table. “Oh, I haven’t gotten one yet. We usually just share.” You said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You’d shared your bed with Naruto so long, it no longer embarrassed you. You’d just never had a reason to mention it.

Sakura and Ino’s jaws dropped. They looked from you to each other, wondering if you were serious. You picked up on their shock, looking back at them sheepishly. “What?” You mumbled, feeling your face heating up.

“Are you guys, like, dating?” Ino placed her hand on her hip, looking at you expectedly. You shook your head. 

“No, of course not. He’s my best friend! I just haven’t gotten my own bed yet. It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal!?” Sakura exclaimed. “It’s a huge deal! You guys live together, share a bed together… you’re practically married!”

Ino nodded in agreement. “Sakura’s right. That’s a weird thing for two ‘best friends’ to be doing. It’s not normal.”

Sakura and Ino’s words rang through your head all day after they’d gone. Was it that weird? Sure, the whole thing had been nerve wracking at first, but now it was just part of your dynamic like everything else was. Of course you still harbored your feelings for Naruto, but you’d pushed them deep down, pretending they weren’t there in a bid to save your and Naruto’s friendship.

You were already in bed when he got back from his mission that night. He threw open the door, dropping his bag and sighing loudly. “Are you awake?” He called as he made his way to the bathroom.

“I am now,” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you heard the shower start. You yawned, your body tired despite how awake your mind was. It was a while longer before Naruto was finally ready to settle in for the night.

With a loud yawn, he dropped down on the bed beside you, stretching. “I missed this,” he said, turning over as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. He reached for you instinctively, a happy sigh leaving his lips as you cuddled into his chest.

But Naruto knew you better than anyone, and he could tell something was on your mind. “Everything okay?” He murmured against your hair, moments from falling asleep.

“Is this weird?” You asked him timidly, afraid to hear his answer. 

Naruto froze for a moment before pulling away slightly, just enough so he could look down at you. “Is what weird?” He asked back slowly.

You shrugged. “Sakura and Ino stopped by today. They saw we share a bed and… I don’t know. They said it wasn’t normal.” You were afraid to voice the thought, but you couldn’t help it. The seed had been planted, and it wouldn’t stop growing.

But Naruto just rolled his eyes in response. “You’re gonna listen to them?” He asked with a small laugh. “What do they know about normal?”

“They said it was only normal for people that were, like, in a relationship. Not people that were just friends…”

Naruto was quiet, and you could tell he was mulling over the information, no doubt wondering--much like you were--if they had a point. He pulled away even more, and you could see in the moonlight that he was blushing. “Are we just friends?”

The words hit you like a freight train, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. You weren’t ready for this conversation. Things had been going so well, you’d been so happy and comfortable. You weren’t ready for things between you and Naruto to change, not yet. But now you didn’t have a choice.

“Do you want to be?” You whispered back.

The silence lingered, heavy and suffocating. You felt ready to cry. You loved Naruto. You didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer, but you didn’t want to lose him either. If he didn’t feel the same way… You didn’t know what you’d do. You couldn’t think of anything any more devastating.

Reluctantly, you brought your eyes up to meet Naruto’s brilliant blue ones. They were staring earnestly into yours, searching for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. Slowly, shakily, he brought his hand up to your face, brushing your hair back. His touch was soft, barely there, and it sent shivers up your spine. 

Finally, he leaned in to you, bringing his lips to brush against yours in a sweet, shy kiss. The motion was unsure, nervous. He’d been dying to do that for months now, and he had no idea how you would react.

Naruto’s kiss sent your head reeling. You’d always thought that kissing Naruto would send your heart racing, but instead it slowed, calming every nerve in your body.

When Naruto pulled away, he was wearing a grin that matched yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He told you, stroking your cheek. You could only smile in response, pulling him in to kiss you once more

Naruto had gone his whole life touch starved and alone. Affection was so scarce, he hadn’t even known what he was missing. 

Sharing a bed, sleeping next to you, kissing you goodnight. It wasn’t scary or unsure.

It felt like coming home. 

#narutoxreader #naruto uzumakixreader #naruto #naruto uzumaki #naruto imagines #naruto headcanon #naruto imagine #naruto headcanons #naruto x you #narutoxyou #naruto x reader imagines #naruto x reader imagine #naruto x reader headcanons #naruto uzumaki x reader #naruto x reader #naruto uzumaki x reader imagines #naruto uzumaki x reader headcanon #naruto uzumaki x reader headcanons

[entity9silvergen]

Thought That Cupid Shot Me With Love But It Was Only An Aro (Naruto Fanfiction)

Summary: Soulmates were supposed to be the other half of your soul. Your one true love. Ino always dreamed of finding her soulmate. Sai never wanted one. Still, they cared for each other so they were going to make it work. Somehow.

Relationships: Sai & Ino, Sai/ Ino, Sai & Team Kakashi, Sai & Team Asuma, Sai & Shin, Referenced Naruto/ Hinata, Referenced Sasuke/ Sakura, Referenced Kakashi/ Guy, Referenced Shikamaru/ Temari, Referenced Choji/ Karui

Characters: Sai, Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi, Shin, Kakashi

Warnings: Minor aphobia

Other: AroWriMo 2021, Soulmate AU, Aroace Sai, Aro/ Allo Relationship, Oneshot, Aromantic Writer, Queer Themes, QPRs

Word Count: 10K

Author’s Note: This story was written for Aromantic Writing Month 2021! I’ve been wanting to write an aromantic Soulmate AU for awhile and decided to finally write it when I realized Aro Writing Month was approaching. Prompt for week 1 was Romo/ Loveless & Future which kind of aligns with this fic. 

The title comes from the song Not In Love by Natalia Kills.

This is my first time writing a soulmate AU and also my first time writing an aromantic character. I’d just like to say I don’t really like the idea of aromantic/ alloromantic soulmates because it implies they both have to compromise in some way but I’ve always wanted to see how that kind of relationship would be navigated so here we are. 

Some characters are mildly aphobic but there’s nothing hateful or extreme. It’s mostly just people not understanding.

Also this fic skips around through time a bit and begins before Sai gets his name in canon but I am just going to call him Sai because it’s kind of awkward to avoid using it. A few minor deviations from canon are taken just for convenience. 

___________

As long as Ino could remember, she’d had a massive, stark white tiger with jet black stripes wrapped around her arm.

She didn’t really question it’s presence. Everyone had marks on their bodies as far as she knew. Once she was old enough to really recognize what it was, however, she did find it a bit odd. Compared to the bright red bush clover on her mother’s upper arm and the aquamarine instrument on her father’s leg, a black and white tiger seemed strange. She tried asking about it but no one seemed to understand her confusion. They just saw it was any other soulmark with nothing out of the ordinary.

It wasn’t until she was a couple years into her training at the Academy that she really understood what the tiger on her skin meant.

She’d been sitting on the grassy hill where her Kunoichi classes were held with her friend Sakura. It was early spring and tiny flowers were beginning to sprout out of the ground. Idly, Ino plucked them out of the earth and slowly began tying their stems into a chain. What for, she did not know. She just needed something to occupy herself until the teacher arrived. She was running a bit late and once she arrived, Ino understood why.

“Hello class!” the teacher called once she reached the top of the hill, dropping a bag of books at her feet. They hit the grass with a loud thump. The bag was a lot heavier than it looked, no wonder it had slowed her down. “Sorry for the delay!”

“What are those books for?” Sakura called out, voicing the rest of the girl’s thoughts.

“Oh these?” the teacher said, picking up one of the books. “We’re going to use these books to help with the lesson. Today we’re going to talk about soulmarks.”

Soulmark. The word struck a chord in Ino’s mind. It sounded familiar yet she didn’t have the slightest idea what it meant. She sensed it was important though. Intrigued, she rested her arms on her knees and leaned forward a bit. She didn’t say anything, positive Sakura and all her newly discovered chattiness would do it for her. “What’s a soulmark?”

The teacher’s eyes glowed in a way Ino had never seen before as she sat down and threw herself into her explanation. “You see those designs on your bodies?”

Ino looked down at the tiger on her arm and felt a flash of excitement. Was she finally going to learn the meaning behind it?

“Those are soulmarks. You see, the universe is very wise and knows who we are destined to fall in love with,” the teacher told them, smiling at the wondrous expressions appearing on the girls’ faces. Ino tried to wipe the look off her own features but she couldn’t help it. This was nothing like flower arranging at all. That was fun but this was important. “That’s why we’re born with these marks. They give us hints about what our soulmates are like and tell us how to find them.”

A few girls squealed and made soft noises expressing their delight but Ino remained quiet, eyes wide as she ran her fingertips over the tiger’s curved stripes. She’d done so countless times before but now it felt different. Almost humbling. This mark told her who she was meant to fall in love with? That was amazing. Almost unbelievable. 

“I read a story book about soulmates once,” declared a girl Ino couldn’t remember the name of. “It said soulmates are each other’s one true love and we’re all meant to find each other some day. Some people have to travel really far to find their soulmate!”

“That’s true,” the teacher said with a nod, “but usually our soulmates aren’t too far away. I knew my soulmate since we were kids but we didn’t realize until we were much older. Sometimes we need time to develop as people before our soulmarks make sense. We need time to grow into them.”

“I heard that Hyuga girl has a ramen bowl on her somewhere,” another girl spoke up. She made an over exaggerated face of disgust. “The only person who eats ramen enough for the universe is that dumb Uzumaki kid. I’d bet anything they’re soulmates.”

“Now, Yaka,” the teacher chided, “it’s not nice to make assumptions about other people’s soulmates, let alone talk about their soulmarks behind their backs. Soulmarks are a private thing.”

Ino noticed the teacher didn’t scold Yaka for the way she was talking about Naruto and Hinata. She didn’t know what that was about but she didn’t really like it. She didn’t have the faintest idea who her soulmate was but she hoped no one made fun of him for her soulmark, whatever it was. As troubling as her mark was, she loved it and knew she would one day love her soulmate as much as the tiger on her arm. And he was supposed to love her just as much, right? They were destined to be together after all. Each other’s true love.

“I hope mine is Sasuke,” Sakura sighed dreamily, clutching her hands together.

Ino snapped out of her romantic daydreams and blew air out through her mouth, making her blond bangs move out of her face, as she rolled her eyes. “We’re too young to really know, Sakura. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Color is the best indicator to go off of,” the teacher told them, eyes drifting to the mark on Sakura’s hand. “Red isn’t an uncommon color in the soulmarks of the Uchiha.”

Ino’s mouth twisted in annoyance. Their teacher was indulging her? Really? At least Sakura seemed happy about it. And Ino would be lying if she said she didn’t think Sakura’s mark may one day fit their classmate. The scarlet feather of a hawk covered the back of her hand, the middle bleeding into a pale purple that stretched the shaft into a long snake trailing up her arm. It was a pretty cool soulmark, Ino had to admit. Two animals in one mark? And so colorful. Maybe that meant Sakura’s soulmate had a lot of character to him. Or that he really liked animals. Did Sasuke like animals? But like the others, it made her uneasy about her own.

“What if your soulmark doesn’t have any colors?” Ino asked, raising her hand. When the teacher’s eyes flickered to her arm, Ino put her arm down and covered her mark with her hand. She tried her best not to look down in shame to no avail then immediately hated herself for it. Then she decided she hated her teacher for the look she was giving her. How dare she make Ino feel ashamed of her soulmark and, by extension, her soulmate? 

The teacher’s judgemental look vanished in a heartbeat, replaced by a cheery facade, and she handed Ino the book she was holding. “That’s a good question! Everyone, take a book and try to find any characteristics that might match your soulmark. You might be able to learn something about your soulmate!”

Ino wasn’t oblivious to the fact her question was ignored but Sakura was tugging at the book in her hands, excited to see what it’s contents could tell her. Ino shook her negativity away and laughed, scolding her friend into settling down and sharing the book.

They spent the whole afternoon flipping through the pages, gazing at the beautiful soulmarks within, and Ino found nothing about colorless soulmarks. Like many things regarding her soulmate, she didn’t know what to think of that.

___________

Sai thought he was markless until he was eight.

He knew what soulmarks were, of course. They were impossible to miss, especially since he lived in such close quarters with everyone he trained with. He’d just never seen one on his own body so he just figured he didn’t have one. And he was pretty okay with that. 

This batch of ROOT recruits were being trained in a Hidden Mist style so they spent a fair amount of time on the water. The instructor had begun teaching the Water Natured recruits how to use Water Style: Liquid Bullets recently so today that part of the group was polishing their jutsu while the rest of the recruits practiced dodging on a moving surface of water. It was a good exercise for everyone.

The only problem was all the Water Style users kept nailing Sai with their jutsu.

Normally Sai wouldn’t mind. He was a fast ninja and he was pretty good at dodging. The only problem was that there were so many and a few were bound to hit now and again. It was just that it was more than a few. And he seemed to be the only one getting hit. It was enough that the instructor asked him to get off the water and practice his Earth Style on his own until they were done.

“Maybe we can ask the instructor if you can wear a shirt next time,” Shin said casually once the session was over and the group was heading back to base. “I mean, it’ll get all wet if you fall in but it’s better than getting hit with Liquid Bullets the whole time.”

“What?” Sai peered at his brother, confused. “Why would wearing a shirt change anything?”

“Um, because of your soulmark?”

“I have a soulmark?”

Shin’s hands dropped from their place folded behind his head as he came to a stop to gape at his brother. “You didn’t know you have a soulmark?”

“No. Should I have?”

“Yes!” Shin exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “Soulmarks are important! They tell you who you’re going to fall in love with and- wait. If you didn’t know you had a soulmark, why did you think everyone kept shooting you with their jutsu?”

“I thought maybe it was some kind of strategy to pick off a weak link.”

“You’re not a weak link!” Shin exclaimed, louder this time. Sai didn’t really understand what he was getting upset over but he hoped he’d get over it soon. The instructors didn’t really like it when the students got worked up like this. “Your soulmark just makes a giant target on your back. It’s easy to aim for so everyone goes for it.”

“Oh.” That made sense, he supposed. “What is it? My soulmark, I mean.”

“It’s a flower. I don’t know what kind.”

“What does it mean to have a flower soulmark?”

Shin shrugged. “I have no idea. I think I heard flowers are kind of rare since all girls like flowers. Hey, maybe that means your soulmate is a boy. The universe might think boys liking flowers is weird enough to make it soulmark-worthy.”

“I don’t think it’s weird for boys to like flowers.”

“So you think your soulmate is a boy?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really care.”

“Come on,” Shin whined. “You’ve got to care a little bit!”

“Not really. I’ve never wanted a soulmate.”

“Really?” Shin sounded surprised, far more surprised than Sai thought he would. “Well, maybe that’s just because you didn’t think you had one. Maybe now it’ll change.”

Sai didn’t think so but he didn’t tell Shin. He didn’t think he’d understand.

________

Ino was nine when she felt a blinding pain shooting up from her soulmark.

It wasn’t sudden. In fact, it was very slow. A gentle static that turned into overwhelming agony. Ino had felt emotions through the soulbond before, however rare, but never to this degree. The initial surprise was faint, easily mistakable for her own feelings, but the adrenaline and fear that followed most certainly were not.

Iruka seemed to notice something was wrong because by the time the first wave of crippling despair hit, he’d already yelled for a student to take charge of the class and had ushered her out into the hallway. She was dimly aware of what was happening around her through it all. If she’d been more clear headed, she would’ve worried more about keeping it together in the presence of her classmates but right now she could only think about the hurt, fear, and grief rippling through her. 

Her soulmark burned, sending bolts of emotion up her body, welling her throat shut and tightening her chest with raw, unfiltered emotion. It was like water boiling up in a kettle that exploded into a scalding ocean instead of steam. Like someone had injected lightning into her body and let it fry her heart. Like being surrounded by a heavy cloud of darkness that sucked any light out of her. 

Never before had she felt such a thing and she didn’t know how to handle it. She didn’t understand where it was coming from or why this was happening to her. But then it just… stopped. Like nothing had happened.

She regained control of her breath as the sharp grip around her receded. She felt the sobs die in her throat and clean oxygen fill her lungs once again. She hadn’t even noticed she’d been crying until now. Tears stained her face and Iruka’s shoulder but there were fewer than before. It was now that she realized she had collapsed on the ground in the hallway, body pressed against the rough wood floor. The realization didn’t make her want to get up any more though. She could lie here for the rest of her life for all she cared. She kind of wanted to. Lying here in this sleepy, numb fog that clouded her mind sounded like a good idea.

“Are you alright?” Iruka asked, her sensei’s worried tone drawing her back to reality.

“What happened?” Ino groaned, sitting up to meet his gaze. The concern was evident on his face but he looked relieved to see that she was okay. She felt a prickle of guilt knowing she was responsible for his worry. What was that anyway? It just came out of nowhere then left just as fast. Absently, her hand drifted to her soulmark. Any echo of its earlier noise was long gone. It was as silent as the dead of night. “I feel…”

“I think something happened to your soulmate,” Iruka told her softly, helping her sit up against the wall. He shifted a bit so he sat across from her. For that, Ino was grateful. She didn’t think she could handle getting up right now.

“My soulmate?”

“You’ve felt things through your soulbond before, right?” Iruka asked. Ino nodded as she wiped her face free of any stray tears. “Well, sometimes when our soulmates are in a lot of pain or distress, we can feel it through the soulbond.”

“How come?” Ino asked, genuinely curious. The pain she felt was probably nothing compared to what he was feeling so she could stomach a bit of it for her soulmate’s sake but she didn’t understand why the universe would place that upon her or anyone else. That just seemed cruel.

“Well…” Iruka trailed off for a moment, hesitating, before the words came to him. “Soulmates are a big part of our lives. They’re the other half of our soul. Our bond doesn’t begin when we meet. We usually love our partners a long time before we meet them.”

Ino nodded, following along so far. Sure, she didn’t know a thing about her soulmate, save what her soulmark told her, but he had a special place in her heart that only grew with each spark she felt through the bond. He was one of the most important things to her in the whole world. It felt kind of strange to call it love but any other word felt short of capturing what she felt. He was essentially a stranger yet, at the same time, he was the furthest thing from it.

“Soulmates support each other throughout their whole lives,” Iruka explained. “When our soulmates feel pain, we can comfort them through our soulbonds.”

“How?” Ino asked, leaning forward a bit. She desperately wanted to. The hopelessness and agony that had rooted itself in her chest had faded but if her soulmate was still feeling anything close to it…

“Just think about how much you love them,” Iruka told her with a lopsided smile, “and how much you want to be there for him. Try to focus those feelings through your soulbond.”

Ino nodded and tried her hardest to do as her sensei instructed her. But how could she express feelings for someone she’d never met? She could imagine her soulmate and the future they’d have together but that wasn’t real. It was all in her head and all she had to go off of inspiration-wise were stories and dreams. She was still young enough to indulge in the occasional fantasy or day dream but she was also a ninja. Ninja were realists and realistically, she knew nothing about what he was like and she didn’t have a real reason to love him the way she did.

But that didn’t mean the love she had wasn’t real. It was ingrained deep into her being, as deep as the bond tying her to her partner. It was a love that made warmth hum in her chest and the corners of her mouth twitch into a smile at the mere thought of it. Love so powerful she couldn’t put it into words. She just didn’t have the vocabulary and she didn’t think the right words even existed.

It didn’t make sense but it was real. The universe, spirits, god, sages, whatever was up there- It had made a decision and it was a good one. There was no reason to believe it but Ino knew it like a universal truth. He was destined for her and she was more than happy to be destined for him. Ino loved her other half however little sense it made. She’d always wanted him to know that and maybe now she could tell him through the soulbond if she tried hard enough.

She didn’t know what he was feeling. She didn’t know what he could possibly be experiencing that would make him feel this way. She just hoped that maybe she could help, even if it was just a little bit.

“How will I know if he can feel it?” Ino asked after a while. She felt a lot better. Her breath had regulated, the dampness in her eyes had dried, and her body felt a lot less heavy than it had when she sat down.

“There’s not really any way to tell immediately,” Iruka told her, getting to his knees before standing up. He offered Ino a hand to pull her up. She accepted it and began following him back to the classroom. “Your soulmate is probably going through a lot right now and he might not know how to respond or feel ready to. But, I’ve heard that soulmates sometimes send their thanks a few weeks after something big happens and feelings start passing through the bond a bit more easily. I’m sure he’ll be sending you some happiness in no time.”

Iruka’s words were a comfort and Ino momentarily forgot her worries and skipped back to class. But weeks later when Iruka asked her if she and her soulmate were doing better, Ino couldn’t answer. There wasn’t a hint of emotion coming through the bond anymore.

_________

It was over seven years since Shin died before Sai was shirtless around anyone again.

It wasn’t really something he’d thought about. Who thought about that kind of thing? He had plenty of other things to think about. His missions, crossing faces out of his bingo books, his art… Being shirtless was such an insignificant thing in his life that he never spared it a second thought. His training had ended with his brother’s death and there wasn’t really a need for him to change clothes or go swimming with someone. And without Shin or anyone else looking at his back, he’d almost forgotten his soulmark. There were a few flashes of feeling through the bond now and again but Sai was usually too dull to notice and he usually dismissed them without question. The existence of his soulmark didn’t affect his life in the slightest.

Imagine his confusion when Naruto wouldn’t stop staring at him after Captain Yamato dumped the two of them in a hot spring together. 

“Why do you keep looking at me, dickless?” Sai asked, smiling at how Naruto’s face soured at the nickname. He’d done well choosing it. “I was under the impression you were tired of being around me.”

“I am!” Naruto snapped indignantly. He crossed his arms and was silent for a moment. When Sai didn’t say anything, he caved and explained himself. “I… I was looking for your soulmark. Do you have one?”

Sai paused for a moment before nodding. “I do.”

Naruto’s gaze softened a bit and the hostility drained off his face. “It’s on your back, isn’t it? I didn’t see anything before you got in the water.”

“Why do you care?”

“I didn’t really think about it until you came in here and I didn’t see anything on you so I thought you might be markless. It’s… I dunno, it’s harder to stay mad at you knowing you’ve got a soulmate.”

“Why?

Naruto shrugged casually. “Knowing you love someone just makes you feel more human.”

If Sai were an expressive man, he would’ve made a face. One of anger or horror, he didn’t know. Angry Sai would’ve splashed Naruto in the face with a handful of water. Horrified Sai would’ve come up with a bad excuse and hurried out of the hot spring. But Sai wasn’t an expressive man so instead, he shut his mouth and sank into the water, trying not to think about the implication of his new teammate’s words. ___________

Ino met Sai at The Barbeque Place.

The Barbeque Place wasn’t actually called The Barbeque Place. They just called it that enough that it deserved to be called The Barbeque Place with the capitalization of the title and everything. It was actually called Yakiniku Q but no one cared. Team Asuma would convince everyone it was called The Barbeque Place until the owner changed the sign or they’d die trying.

Going to The Barbeque Place was the only way to properly celebrate anything Team Asuma style. Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru had only seen Naruto a couple of times since he returned to the village so when they saw him coming back from a mission, they knew they had to grab him then or they’d never get the chance to drag him to the restaurant and welcome their friend home.

The fact they had a new teammate with them was an added bonus.

Sai seemed nice. Kind of strange though. Ino didn’t know if it was just odd having someone new on Team 7 after so long or if it was just Sai’s general personality. She supposed she liked him but if it was anyone less good looking, Ino would definitely be upset Sasuke was getting replaced.

“So you’re ANBU, right?” Shikamaru asked the newcomer when the uncooked food had arrived and the early stages of conversation were over.

“How could you tell?”

“The uniform was a bit of a giveaway.”

“Noted.”

“ANBU?” Choji echoed, looking intrigued. His brief pause was long enough for Ino to take the opportunity to swipe a couple pieces of meat off the grill and shovel them onto Sai’s plate. Apparently pausing did not mean he was distracted though. “Ino!”

“Be nice! You don’t want to scare him off with your gross manners this early, do you?”

“I guess not…” Choji mumbled sullenly. His demeanor changed again in a heartbeat when a piece of perfectly cooked meat caught his eye. He plucked it up with his chopsticks and plopped it into his mouth, chewing the slices of beef happily, anger forgotten. 

Shikamaru, always the sharp one, picked up where Choji left off before his distraction. “So what’s that like? ANBU, I mean.”

Sai smiled passively. “I don’t think it’s too different from what shinobi teams do, just more isolated and the training is more rigorous.” 

“Really?” Sakura said, half distracted by trying to nab a piece of meat before Choji got his chopsticks on it. “I don’t know a lot about ANBU, even working so close with Lady Tsunade, but I’ve heard some bad rumors over the years.”

“Eh? Really? But Kakashi-sensei always seems happy wherever he talks about it,” Naruto replied. He swiped a piece of meat off Sai’s plate and popped it into his mouth before anyone could say anything. Ino would’ve scolded him but Sai didn’t seem to care. In fact, he seemed amused. It was hard believing someone as soft-spoken and gentle as Sai was a member of ANBU.

“Kakashi-sensei is Kakashi-sensei,” Sakura responded, brushing him off. “He doesn’t tell us anything and you never know if he’s actually happy or if he just hit a juicy part of those pervy books he’s always reading.”

“Eh, good point,” Naruto conceded through a full mouth, “but now we have Sai here to tell us stuff! I bet he’s a lot easier to talk to than Kakashi-sensei.”

Sai’s face remained passive but Choji and even Shikamaru seemed interested. Noticing, Sai sighed and gave in. “What do you want to know?”

“So you said ANBU was really lonely, right?” Shikamaru said, casually taking a piece of meat. Unsurprisingly, Choji let him and didn’t protest. “What about soulmates?”

“What about them?”

“I’ve heard they don’t let people search for their soulmates,” Sakura spoke up as she put a few vegetables on the grill. “They just have to live knowing their soulmate is out there wondering where they are and why they haven’t found them yet.”

“Well I heard they don’t let ANBU have soulmates at all,” Choji said, trying to wave Sakura’s chopsticks away from the grill. “Like they burn them off or make them stay covered all the time and that kind of thing.”

“I can confirm that isn’t true,” Sai said with a smile, sounding humored. “A lot of people have soulmates. Some of the best two-man teams and small units are made of soulmates, actually. We’re just not allowed to search outside of ANBU. My instructors always said it compromises our security.”

“That’s too bad,” Naruto commented and poked Sakura’s hand with his chopsticks. She yelped and pulled her hand away, allowing Choji to successfully steer the vegetables away from the grill and put down another couple pieces of beef. “But now that you’re out of ANBU, you can look for your soulmate, right?”

Sai said nothing and shrugged half-heartedly. 

“You do want to find your soulmate, right?” Ino asked, putting down her chopsticks to look at him instead of swooping in to aid Sakura. Choji really had to eat his greens. Naruto too but it wasn’t every day her friends got a new teammate. Right now he was a bit more interesting than a poking war.

This time, Sai had a clear answer to the question. “Not particularly.” 

“How?!” Ino’s plate clattered on the table slightly. She put a hand on it to stop it from falling but she could feel herself getting even more worked up. She sensed her friends giving her confused looks at her outburst. She tried her best to ignore them. “Your soulmate- Your soulmate is the other half of your soul! Without them, you’re incomplete. How could you not want to find them?”

Again, Sai shrugged.

“I’ve just never been interested in having a romantic relationship. Or any kind of relationship,” Sai said neutrally. He smiled and this time it was kind of infuriating instead of cute. “If it happens, it happens but I don’t particularly want to seek it out.”

“Isn’t it your destiny though?” Ino pressed. “To find your true love?”

“I thought you’d given up on that stuff,” Choji commented idly as he placed some new pieces of meat on the grill, “since you haven’t felt anything through your soulbond in years.”

Something inside Ino snapped. “Well, you’re just as far behind as me, fatso!”

In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best move but getting the restaurant destroyed by Choji’s Human Boulder was worth it to escape that conversation. _________

It was well after the war had ended by the time the village’s Intelligence Division summoned Sai to lock up the members of the Seven Swordsmen that he’d sealed. 

The village was recovering well but the months after the end of the war had been chaotic. There were far too many things more important to worry about than who’d sealed their enemies and where their bodies were so Fuguki Suikazan and Jinin Akebino’s scrolls just ended up sitting in Sai’s apartment. It was only when someone from the Third Division was retelling the war story that everyone remembered they hadn’t given the sealed bodies to the Intelligence Division. Sai hadn’t really thought it was important but apparently it was important enough for the Hokage to send Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji running to his apartment in the middle of the day to retrieve them.

“I can’t believe you had these things just lying around for a whole year. What a drag…” Shikamaru complained as the shinobi carried the two scrolls through the front doors of the Analysis Division’s building. Between the four of them, it was a bit awkward but they were managing. Sai was surprised he and Lee had been able to carry these things around on the battlefield. Right now, they seemed so heavy. “I wish I’d known Intel involved so much running around before I joined…”

“Aw, you like it,” Choji said cheerfully. It went unsaid that Ino and Shikamaru were working in the Intelligence Division because there was no one else to fill their fathers’ shoes but Sai heard it in his voice. “And all this running around gives us the chance to see our friends more often!”

“You don’t even work here. You can see our friends whenever you want!” Ino groaned as they began heading into the underground storage unit. “Slow down guys, I don’t really want to fall down the stairs in front of all these Jonin. But he’s right, Sai. It’s nice seeing you. It feels like it’s been forever.”

Sai hummed in agreement and tried his best to convey the joy he got from seeing his friends again. After seeing Shin again and mastering the Crouched Tiger Bullet, it came a lot easier to him but years of underusing his facial expressions made it less than natural. “Indeed. Where are we putting these?”

Everyone looked to Shikamaru. The boy didn’t seem fazed. “These guys are dead, right? We should transfer them to body scrolls. Easier for the Analysis Team to… analyze them or whatever whenever they decide to. You know how to use that kind of sealing, right Sai?”

Sai nodded as they reached the bottom of the stairwell. “I do.”

“Great,” Shikamaru grunted as the group reached the bottom of the stairs and dropped the heavy scrolls on the concrete floor. “Ugh, do they really need to be this big?”

“It’s a difficult sealing jutsu. It requires a lot of ink.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, let’s start unrolling this thing. Sai, there are some body scrolls over by the storage unit. Go grab whatever one you think will work best.”

Sai nodded and did as he was told, drifting off to the edges of the basement in search of the right tools. He wasn’t terribly experienced in any kind of sealing jutsu other than his own and he took his time finding a compatible scroll but after a couple minutes, he realized Team Asuma’s usual bickering had died down and the three had fallen into an unusual silence. Concerned, he stuck his head out of the storage area to check on them. “Are you alright?”

“Sai… Come here please,” Ino said in an unusual tone. Sai frowned. Her pale green eyes were fixed on something on the ground. Was something wrong with his seal? Had one of the Swordsmen somehow escaped? They were dead so it wouldn’t be the end of the world but it would be kind of a hassle to track down the body.

He stepped into the entry area and saw nothing out of the ordinary. One of the scrolls, Fuguki’s scroll, was unraveled, exposing the seal work and the swordsman's trapped form. Shikamaru, Ino, and Choji were just… staring at it? Sai couldn’t fathom why. Maybe they thought this method of sealing was immoral? It really wasn’t different from any other kind of sealing. Was the sight of the body on the page unsettling them?

“Sai, what is this?” Choji said in an uncharacteristically empty voice. 

Sai took a few steps to join them beside the scroll. He peered at it, trying to see anything that was out of place or didn’t belong. Fuguki was still there, held in by his sealing tiger’s sharp claws. Was his sword in there? No, no it wasn’t. They’d returned the Seven Swords to the Hidden Cloud a while ago. He remembered because that was when Choji had realized he and that girl Karui were soulmates. It’d been a whole thing. “I don’t see anything wrong.”

Ino held up her marked arm and Sai suddenly realized what was happening here.

“...Oh.”

“Oh? Oh?! That’s all you have to say?” Shikamaru practically shouted, taking an angry step toward him. “Ino- she- You saw her soulmark the day you met us. Why didn’t you say anything? Do you know how long she- Are you really that heartless?”

Sai flinched at his words. He didn’t mean to but he couldn’t help it. Regaining some level of emotion also meant losing some of his composure. He hoped the others hadn’t noticed but he wasn’t the hopeful type. “I…”

Choji put a hand on Shikamaru’s shoulder. He looked just as upset as his friend but Choji was too gentle and kind-hearted to take out his anger on anyone. And for that, Sai was eternally grateful. “Shikamaru, maybe we should go. Shouldn’t this kind of thing be between soulmates?”

Shikamaru looked like he wanted to argue but he shook himself and took a deep breath to calm down. Sai knew Shikamaru could get scary when he wanted to and hurting his friend definitely put Sai in danger of becoming a victim of his intellect. Thank the sages for Choji or Sai was fairly certain he’d have a Shadow Stitch aimed at his head right now.

“Just… Just talk to her, man,” Shikamaru sighed tiredly, sounding several times his age, and turned to head back up the stairs, Choji trailing behind him. Sai half expected him to turn around to give him some kind of warning or threat not to mess this up and hurt his teammate but he didn’t. He just kept walking until it was just him and Ino. Alone. In a basement. With a dead rogue-ninja and a tiger staring at them. Not really the best setting for a heart to heart.

The two didn’t say anything for a few minutes, just pale green eyes boring into inky black. What was there to say? What was someone supposed to say when they found their soulmate? What if it should have been obvious they were soulmates from the start and one hadn’t said anything? What was someone who never wanted a soulmate supposed to do when his soulmate so clearly longed for one? Sai had so many questions and the answers to none.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ino asked, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t know.”

“Don’t give me that.”

It was true, in a sense. He really didn’t know. Sai had recognized the tiger when he saw it for the first time but only in the back of his mind. He was far from a master of emotions and farther from a master of his jutsu. Was the jutsu really even his then? It didn’t feel like it so maybe he didn’t recognize the mark on Ino’s arm as his own. 

Still, it was his art style. He’d recognized it immediately and always would. His art was such a big part of him and he didn’t dream of denying it so that couldn’t have been it. And it couldn’t be his lack of emotions because he wasn’t really lacking them, they were just suppressed. As guilty as it made him feel, it was very possible the truth was just that he didn’t want a soulmate. That he didn’t want to know what the universe had planned for him when it came to love.

“It just never occurred to me.”

Sai wasn’t lying but Ino didn’t seem to believe him. No one ever believed him. Not when it came to soulmates. But he wanted Ino to understand so he tried again.

“Remember when we met? When I said I didn’t want to look for my soulmate?”

Ino snorted and put her hands on her hips. “You didn’t need to look. She was right in front of you.”

Okay, he walked right into that one. “I wasn’t thinking about that. I would’ve said that to anyone.”

“Why?” Ino asked, her voice cracking. Sai noticed for the first time that her eyes were glossy. He felt… something. He couldn’t quite identify what it was yet but he knew it was a bad feeling. He couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry though. “I’ve always wanted to meet my soulmate, even before I really understood what my mark meant. I can’t imagine not wanting to find the one person who’s meant to love you unconditionally.”

That made Sai hesitate. He’d never heard it phrased that way particularly. It was making him doubt himself. Why had she said that? She didn’t know how much Sai struggled when it came to maintaining friendships or how lonely he’d been all those years after Shin died. She had no idea how rocky his relationship with love was or how much he craved it. She couldn’t fathom how much it pained him knowing it was always out of reach. Or maybe she could, with the soulbond and all. He cleared his throat. “I’m glad I met you and if I have to have a soulmate, I’m glad it’s you.”

“If you have to have one? What, do you wish you didn’t have one?”

“Sometimes.” Ino’s face dropped but Sai recovered quickly. “I think soulmates are wonderful but I’ve just felt like they’re for me, I suppose.”

“Are you one of those people who believe we should shape our own destiny?”

“No. Yes. Maybe? I don’t know.”

Ino laughed a bit and it sounded fond rather than angry. It gave Sai a spike of confidence. He smiled bashfully. 

“My apologies. I’m not very… articulate when it comes to how I feel. I’ve really only reconnected with my emotions since the war ended,” Sai admitted. Ino opened her mouth but Sai stopped her before she could say what he knew she was going to say. “And my emotional struggles have nothing to do with how I feel about having a soulmate. I think. I remember talking about it with my brother before…”

Something flashed in Ino’s eyes. “Your brother died when you were ten?”

Sai nodded. “You felt it through the soulbond?”

“And nothing after it,” Ino replied with a nod, “until the war. Probably when you saw him again.”

Sai looked down. “...I cried. I hadn’t cried since he died the first time.”

Ino made a sympathetic noise. Sai wasn’t really sure if it made him feel comforted or patronized. Ino seemed to sense he didn’t want to talk about it and that was probably for the better. “So you’ve talked about it with him? How you feel about soulmates?”

“Having a soulmate,” Sai corrected. How he felt about soulmates versus how he felt about having a soulmate were very different. “And yes. I didn’t know I had a soulmark until he told me. But… He never really understood. He was a romantic. I don’t think he really knew that some people just weren’t like that.”

“Like what?”

Sai’s face furrowed with frustration as he tried to find words. “I… I know love. I love my brother. I love Naruto. And Sakura. And maybe Sasuke. I love Kakashi-senpai and Captain Yamato. I love my art and my books. And I love… you. And I know what I feel is real. I think I’ve always felt it, even when I thought I didn’t have emotions and before I knew you were my soulmate. I like being with you but I don’t love you like Shikamaru loves Temari or like Sakura loves Sasuke. Is that okay?”

Sai hadn’t realized he was looking down until Ino took his hands, startling him into looking up at her. She looked a bit sad but not disappointed or angry. She offered him a gentle smile. “Yeah, it’s definitely okay, Sai. I mean, this isn’t really what I expected meeting my soulmate to be like but I’m glad it’s you. I don’t think I’ll mind missing out on some romantic fantasy if it means I get to be with you. If that’s what you want.”

Slowly, Sai nodded and curled his fingers around hers. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give you a romantic fantasy but I hope I can still make you happy. I want to see where this goes.”

_______________

Two years passed and Ino knew she and Sai weren’t really in a relationship.

They did couples things sometimes. They went out together fairly regularly. They ate at nice restaurants and went on quiet walks through the village. Sai sometimes slept over at her house and she sometimes slept at his apartment. Sai went with her to Naruto and Hinata’s wedding. And Shikamaru and Temari’s wedding. And Sasuke and Sakura’s. And Choji and Karui’s... There was a shocking number of weddings recently.

It was never romantic though. Their “dates” often had a few tag-alongs or didn’t seem all that different from what friends normally did. Sleeping together was never anything more than sleeping. She could count the number of times they’d just shared the bed on one hand. And they never slow danced at the weddings. Their friends didn’t even acknowledge they were together. Maybe they didn’t know. Or maybe they did and just thought they were just having fun with each other until they met their real soulmates. That was a depressing thought.

Ino tried not to let it bother her. She really liked Sai, that never changed, and she enjoyed all the things they did together. It was fun. Maybe even more fun than it would be with someone else since there weren’t any expectations and there weren’t dozens of eyes watching everything they did. Still, part of her longed to have the future she’d always expected. She tried to ignore the part of her before it became too much to keep inside.

But as a clan head, she couldn’t ignore it forever.

She was in some Yamanaka-Nara-Akimichi Clan meeting when it came up. Normally these meetings were uneventful, just a bunch of clan elders hooting about babies and food or whatever, so Ino had been zoning out while they bickered and shuffled papers around the table. But with Shikamaru and Choji both married, she should have expected it.

“...so that brings us to the issue of heirs,” an elder said, snapping Ino’s attention back to the meeting.

All eyes in the room immediately fell on her. She sat up a bit straighter. “What?”

“The Nara Clan head and Akimichi Clan heir have already found their partners and are close to securing their clans’ futures,” the elder went on. Her name was… Ino wanted to say Chizo? Wait, no. That was an Akimichi name. Chizo was that one over there with her hand deep in a plate of cookies. This was a Yamanaka. What was her name? Ino couldn’t remember for the life of her. “The Yamanaka Clan on the other hand…”

“You think I can’t lead the clan on my own?”

Another elder made a noncomitmental noise. This one’s name was Ezume, Ino was pretty sure. Or maybe Ezuko? Either way, he was a Nara. She knew that much. By the sages, she really should know her own clan elders’ names. She’d known them all her life. How was she this bad with names? It was like she’d gotten worse over the years. “We know your capabilities, Ino, but every clan head must have a husband or wife to help shoulder the responsibilities of leading the clan and bring life to the next generation.”

Ino could practically feel Shikamaru and Choji making faces behind her. The elders were trying to be nice about it but they were basically telling them their wives only mattered to bear children for them and keep some stress off their shoulders. If the clans’ stability didn’t rely on the elders so much, Ino would’ve dragged Temari and Karui in here to speak their minds and slap some sense into them years ago.

The Yamanaka elder was speaking again. Ino wanted to say her name was Fumiko but she was pretty sure she was just thinking about her cousin Fū. They looked kind of similar. What ever happened to him? She hadn’t seen him in years. “You’ve had plenty of time to search for your soulmate. If you haven’t found him, we will choose-”

“Ino’s found her soulmate,” Shikamaru interrupted. His voice dull and bored but his eyes were sharp and telling. Ino wanted to punch him but he was out of reach and she didn’t think the elders would appreciate it much.

“Oh?” the elder, Chizo this time, said, looking interested.

“I’ve heard nothing of this,” another Yamanaka spoke up, sounding annoyed. This one was named Haneen, or at least Ino was pretty sure. Close enough. Ino would consider that a win if she wasn’t struggling to think of a response.

“Uh…”

The elders looked displeased. “Why have we heard nothing of this?”

“Um…. 

Ino looked to Shikamaru and Choji for help but they were already making a break for the door, the traitorous bastards. She turned back to the elders’ angry faces, swallowed away her uneasiness, and steeled herself for the inevitable discomfort that was coming her way. ___________________

Sai was coming back from a mission with Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi and Yamato when he saw Shikamaru and Choji barreling towards him with panic on their faces.

“We didn’t do it!” Naruto yelped immediately, practically springing away from them. “Tell Granny Tsunade it was just part of the mission!”

The two skidded to a stop and Naruto was met with confusion. “What?” 

“...Are you not coming from the Hokage’s office?”

“...No? We were just at a clan meeting. What were you doing?”

“Nothing!”

Sasuke shook his head and sighed while Sakura pinched her brow in exasperation. Sai and Yamato glanced at Kakashi then shared a deadpan look. Naruto really was an idiot sometimes. The Sixth Hokage was standing right next to them. Tsunade was finding out no matter what Shikamaru and Choji heard from them.

Sakura, always the most polite of the bunch, offered Shikamaru and Choji a smile. “Ignore them. Did you need us for something? Do I need to be at the hospital? Or did Kakashi-sensei lose some important paperwork again?”

“If it was really important they wouldn’t let me lose it,” Kakashi piped up lazily.

“We actually came here for Sai,” Choji spoke up. For once, he didn’t have his trusty bag of potato chips in hand. And Ino wasn’t there. That was concerning.

“Is something wrong?”

“Kind of,” Shikamaru said, looking a bit guilty as he scratched the back of his head. “So… I may or may not have told our clan elders that you and Ino are soulmates and they may or may not start harassing you about marrying her.”

Shikamaru spoke quickly and quietly and it took Sai a moment to realize what he was saying. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, however, didn’t seem to have the same problem.

“You and Ino are soulmates?!” the three screeched in unison.

“I… Yes?” Sai’s head swiveled to look at them in surprise. “You didn’t know?”

“How would we know?” Sakura asked. “Neither of you ever told us!”

“You’ve seen both our soulmarks.”

“Soulmarks are confusing!” Naruto exclaimed and Sai realized he probably should’ve known better than to expect Naruto to connect the dots. He and Hinata practically had the same soulmark, just in different colors, and it’d still taken them years to figure it out.

“We went together to your weddings.”

“I thought you two were just going as friends,” Sasuke admitted and he wasn’t exactly wrong. 

That made Sai hesitate. Were they friends? Or were they dating? How was he supposed to remember where they’d been in the relationship all that time ago?

“I’ve spent so much time with just the two of you,” Sakura said. “Are you saying I was third-wheeling on your dates?”

“I mean… No?”

“Wait, Ino’s soulmark is on her arm. Did you know since you met her after our first mission? Have you been dating since then?”

“No.” That was a question Sai could answer confidently. Kind of. Oh by the sages, he really didn’t know what he and Ino were doing, was he?

Sasuke opened his mouth to continue pressing him but Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him before he could begin. “You five run along. I’d like to talk to Sai alone. Yamato, make sure they don’t destroy anything. Any more than it’s already been destroyed, at least.”

“No promises,” Yamato said drily and began ushering the younger ninja away from the former ANBU. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.”

“I want ramen!”

“I want barbecue!”

“Ramen!”

“Barbecue!” 

“That’s literally all we eat! Can’t you two pick something else?”

Sai watched the group walk away, bickering until they were out of sight, before turning his attention back to Kakashi. The man was watching him with a peculiar look in his eye that Sai didn’t understand. He waited for him to say something but Kakashi remained silent and the seconds soon stretched into minutes.

“Let’s take a walk,” Kakashi said eventually and Body Flickered onto the rooftops. Sai followed him without missing a beat.

“Why did you want to talk to me, senpai?” Sai said once it became clear Kakashi wasn’t going to say something first.

“You looked stressed when Shikamaru said the clan might suggest you and Ino getting married. It takes a lot to get a reaction out of you,” Kakashi said nonchalantly. “I just want you to know you can talk to me if you need someone.”

“I don’t know if there’s really anything to say.” That wasn’t really true but after explaining himself to Shin, and his teammates, and Ino, and Ino’s teammates, Sai had accepted he didn’t really have the vocabulary to express how he felt. But it never stopped him from trying. “I’ve never wanted romance. I like what I have with Ino but it isn’t romance. Everyone expects us to… be like every other soulmate. Be in love, get married, have kids. I’m not really opposed to marrying her but I don’t really want to. The only reason we would is for clan politics. Marriage is supposed to be this ceremony of love and I just don’t… I don’t really feel what everyone else is feeling.”

“Because of your time in ROOT?”

That question was expected but Sai tried not to let it bother him. He was not successful. “I don’t know. Maybe but I don’t think so.”

“Is it a lack of attraction?”

“What?” 

That was such a strange question but Kakashi didn’t really seem to understand Sai’s confusion. “Is it a lack of attraction?”

“I don’t… I suppose she’s attractive.” Sai never really thought about her that way but he knew other people thought she was. He’d been hearing it for so long that he believed it. But were those his own feelings or just the influence of others? He remembered wanting to call her ugly when they met but he thought everyone was ugly so he’d called her gorgeous because he thought she’d like it. And he just kept doing it. He’d done it so much that it’d just stuck with him and he’d forgotten the origin of the nickname. By the sages, was every compliment he’d given her the offspring of a lie?

Surprisingly, a look of understanding spread across Kakashi’s masked features. “So you aren’t attracted to her?”

“I just said she’s attractive.”

“That isn’t the same as being attracted to her.”

“What’s the difference?”

“A few years ago, Master Jiraiya gave me this book he’d written that was rejected by his publishers,” Kakashi began and Sai didn’t really know where he was going with this. “You know he writes romances, right? Well, he got this piece of criticism that said if you’re going to write about love and relationships, you need to understand that it’s not all romantic. Or sexual. You can imagine how confused Jiraiya was.”

Sai was kind of lost but he nodded along anyway.

“So he did some research. And not the kind of research he normally does. He actually talked to anthropologists and professors from different nations, I think. He wrote a character that didn’t experience romantic or sexual attraction. She still knew love and could appreciate a pretty face but she knew she wasn’t quite experiencing what everyone else was feeling.” Kakashi paused. “The word for not experiencing romantic attraction is aromantic. The word for not experiencing sexual attraction is asexual. They’re not really common words, it took Jiraiya a long time to come across them, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you hadn’t heard them…”

Kakashi trailed off and Sai’s brain tried to catch up. Sexual attraction? Romantic attraction? They were different? Romantic feelings were supposed to be connected by some kind of desire? Desire to do what? That just sounded really weird. Sai had never heard someone phrase it that way yet it made sense in the most confusing way. “So… wanting to have a romantic relationship has to do with attraction?”

Kakashi shrugged. “Beats me. I’ve never felt that way. I didn’t actually know I’m asexual or aromantic until I read the book and I saw myself in that character.”

“You’re like me?” Sai said in surprise. Almost instantly, his world felt a bit brighter. Like everything was grey and he was seeing color for the first time.

Kakashi nodded. “You know Guy’s my soulmate?”

“Really?” That was actually really shocking but both men covered themselves at pretty much all times, leaving no room for a soulmark to peak out, so there was no way Sai ever would’ve seen either of their soulmarks. Maybe there was a reason for that. Probably not. “I thought you two were just friends.”

“We are, in a way, but we’re also more than that,” Kakashi said, slowing down a bit to try to find the right words. “Guy and I tried to have a relationship when we realized we’re soulmates but it didn’t really work. Guy prefers women and I’m not even sure if he likes men like that. We haven’t talked about it in awhile. And I never really liked anyone that way. But once I heard the words aromantic and asexual, I felt whole. Like I could explain my feelings and I wasn’t missing anything. I didn’t feel broken anymore. After I told him, it was like everything started making sense.”

“Are you two still together?”

Kakashi nodded. “Things got a lot easier when we gave up… The word Jiraiya used in his notes was amatonormativity. That’s kind of like, um, the belief that romantic and sexual relationships are the peak of human experience and everyone should prioritize those kinds of relationships over everything else. You and Ino don’t have to do what our society expects you to do. You can just do whatever feels right.”

Sai nodded slowly. Ino had mentioned once that it felt freeing to not necessarily follow the traditional route of dating but they’d still always felt that pressure to act like a couple. It felt like a huge weight being lifted off his chest to hear that it was okay to do just be. And the fact someone he knew and respected thought it was normal and even encouraged it was priceless.

He opened his mouth to thank the other man but his throat suddenly swelled shut and all that came out was a choking noise. It surprised him, he’d never felt enough emotion for him to be rendered unable to speak. Kakashi looked surprised as well but his eyes soon crinkled with fondness. 

“Go to her, Sai.”

Sai was already moving.

____________________

Ino wasn’t expecting to find Sai waiting at her front door when she got home from getting drilled by her elders at the clan meeting.

It looked like he’d been there for awhile. He’d taken out a piece of charcoal and began doodling on her doorstep. It was rather beautiful but she knew she’d have to hose it off sooner or later unless she wanted dusty footprints tracked through her house. He seems pretty focused on his drawing but not enough that he didn’t jump up in surprise at the sound of his soulmate approaching.

“We don’t have to get married!” he blurted out upon her arrival. The piece of charcoal fell out of his hand and cracked on the cement.

“Um, okay,” Ino said slowly. “Really weird thing to say at the beginning of a conversation, Sai, but okay…”

Sai at least had the decency to look a bit embarrassed and hurried to explain himself. “Shikamaru and Choji told you about your meeting.”

“Oh.” Ino felt the muscles in her shoulders tense up. By the sages, that meeting really had been hell. “And…?”

“Apparently my teammates didn’t know we were soulmates. Sakura might be coming here to yell at you soon, by the way,” Sai told her and it took Ino a moment to fully process what he was saying. Had they really not known? Sakura was her best friend. Ino talked to her about Sai all the time. And Naruto had seemed pretty happy when they told him they were going to his wedding together. And Sasuke had a Sharingan for crying out loud! He really should’ve noticed. Sai didn’t really seem concerned about it though. “But that’s not important. I talked with Kakashi and…”

Sai cut himself off, his excitement fading as doubt overtook him. Ino took his hands, ignoring all the charcoal dust on them, and offered an encouraging smile. “And?”

“I think… I think I’m aromantic. And asexual,” Sai told her and he smiled. It wasn’t his usual awkward smile though. He looked genuinely relieved and maybe even a little bit happy. “Apparently some people don’t have romantic feelings at all. There’s a word for it. Aromantic. I think- I think that’s me. I still care about you and I like being with you but Kakashi told me being aromantic is normal and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me or that the universe made a mistake making us soulmates. It just means we can- We can just be us. Sai and Ino. And Sai and Ino don’t have to listen to anything anyone tells us to do. And that means we don’t have to get married. Unless you want to…?”

Ino watched Sai’s face carefully as it flashed between excitement, awkwardness, nervousness, and joy. She’d never seen him express so many feelings, let alone all together in such a short period of time. It was cute. And endearing. Especially when he stumbled over his words like this. By the sages, she loved him. And now she knew he loved her, even if it wasn’t the way she loved him. She was okay with that though. She was definitely okay with that. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Screw tradition. Forget the clan,” Ino said, breaking into a smile as she put her arms around Sai’s shoulders so she could look up into his eyes. “I like what we have. I don’t care if it’s not what I thought I’d grow up to have or if it’s not what my family wants for me. I just want to be with you and it doesn’t matter if we’re friends, lovers, neither, or something between.”

Sai’s smile grew and he just looked so happy. “We’re soulmates.”

“Yeah. That’s what we are. We’re soulmates.”

More AroWriMo Fics By Me, Posted on Ao3, Posted on FFN

#Aro Writing Month 2021 #arowrimo #aromantic writing month 2021 #oneshot #fanfiction #naruto #naruto: shippuden #saino #sai #sai (naruto) #ino #ino yamanaka #yamanaka ino #soulmate au #soulmates #soulmarks #soulbonds #aromantic soulmate au #aro sai #ace sai #aromantic sai #asexual sai #aroace sai #aromantic character #asexual character #asexual #aromantic #aspec #asexuality #aromanticism

[sz-amare]

9. “Hard Work” BS

One of the most frequently explored themes in shōnen anime is the concept of hard work vs. natural talent. It is one of my favorites, and it excites me to see how an anime portrays its message on the matter. The general concept that you can surpass anyone with rigorous and strict hard work is very inspiring to the younger demographic, myself included. However, there are many instances where an anime will try to tackle this concept but will either fail or ironically contradict their themes without realizing it. Naruto and Black Clover are the first ones that come to mind, but several others do the same. Although, there is one anime I love that tackles the idea, without really trying to, and succeeds. And that is Haikyuu.

Starting with an anime that fails to portray the message of hard work, we have Black Clover. Now I know I bashed Black Clover in the previous post, but once again, I give criticism is where criticism is due. But to make it up to the Black Clover fans, I will try my best to make an analysis/review on Black Clover in the near future, talking about what it does right and what it does better than most. Anyway, in the world of Black Clover, there are three basic regions in the Clover kingdom. We have the Forsaken Realm, the Common Realm, and the Noble Realm. Nobles in Black Clover tend to have a high affinity for magic and live in the Nobel Realm, while commoners and peasants live in the Forsaken Realm, having a low magic affinity. The Common Realm is between the two; people who live there have average status and average affinity for magic.

Asta lives in the Forsaken Realm, meaning he is a commoner. As I mentioned in a previous post, the main reason Asta wants to become the wizard king is to prove that peasants can become the most powerful mage and thus remove discrimination against them. The only way he can prove this is by working harder than anyone else. The only issue is, Asta is nothing like a regular commoner. As a matter of fact, he is nothing like your average human. He is possessed by a devil that gives him anti-magic abilities, which gives him an edge over people with powerful magical abilities. So… even if Asta became the wizard king, can we really say that other commoners have the potential to become the wizard king as well? No. We can’t. Now yes, Asta did train harder than everyone else in his respective series. Fun fact, if you look at physical strength alone and ignore magical abilities, Asta is the second strongest character in the world of Black Clover. But unfortunately, he doesn’t rely on his physical strength along, but on his anti-magic and devil abilities almost no one else has. His hard work is real and very admirable, but the theme of hard work does not play out with his character’s message, and I find that to be a major flaw.

If you thought the theme of hard work vs. natural talent was badly portrayed in Asta’s character, prepare yourself for Naruto. Before I start, I want you to understand that in Naruto, there are a couple of examples where I think the theme is beautifully explored. Lee vs. Gara is an excellent example, and in this case, hard work loses. Might Guy’s character alone is brilliant to this theme. To think that he was one of the greatest fighters the whole time, but even we, the audience, looked down on him, thinking he was not as strong as some of the Akatsuki, simply because he only used taijutsu. 

But there is one example where the series not only falls short but miserably fails to the point where I feel embarrassed. And that is Naruto vs. Neji.

During the Chuinin exams, we see Neji as one of the most powerful forces that Naruto will probably have to face off against in the future. Neji was born in one of the strongest clans, the Hyuga, resulting in him having an overpowerd ability, the byakugan. Then we have Naruto, who has been an underdog his entire life. He was also discriminated against because of the demonic Nine-Tails Fox that was trapped in his body. Naruto was one of the weakest contenders in the exams, but he believed that he would beat Neji, the second most talented contender there, through his hard work. Neji was also spouting some destiny bull crap that Naruto promised his hard work would also defy. But anyway, during the fight, nothing much was happening other than trading fists and philosophies between the two. When the fight starts to get interesting, Naruto asks the Nine-Tails Fox for chakra, giving him a massive boost, resulting in his victory.

I’m sorry, what?! How can you spout some hard work non-sense for over a dozen episodes, claiming that your hard work would trump someone’s natural abilities but end up using an overpowered ability, unique to you, to prove that point? That is completely self-contradictory. It would have been fascinating to see Naruto realize that the only way he won was because of his unique abilities, resulting in him understanding that although he won the physical fight, he lost the battles of ideals. This would spark development where Naruto now understood, or at least began to believe, that natural talent is overall superior but mixed with a lot of hard work, you could become the strongest. That is precisely why Naruto is the strongest at this point. But no, Naruto took pride in the battle he “won,” even though he completely contradicted himself. Later on in the series, we even learn that Naruto is a part of a clan stronger than the Hyuga, the Uzumaki. So technically, Naruto was never inferior to Neji. This mistake is laughable.

For the anime I believe they tackled the theme of hard work vs. natural talent in one of the most unique ways, we have the volleyball anime, Haikyuu. One of my favorite parts in the series is when Kageyama and Tsukishima receive special training while Hinata is nothing more than a ball boy. Hinata has already proved his hard work through his jumping height and speed, but this arc proved something slightly different from the usual. While Hinata’s two rivals are getting special training, he feels the desperation to train so that he doesn’t fall behind in skill. As a result, he tries to join one of the camps to receive the same special training one of his rivals is receiving. He then understands his rudeness for joining uninvited. As a form of an apology, he starts picking up stray balls after they go out of bounds. While two of his rivals are working hard, he is a ball boy. His feelings of desperation slowly rise, but he can’t do anything about it.

After talking to a couple of people, he begins to understand that he can take advantage of his position. He spends each moment staring at the other volleyball players who are training, observing what they are doing to learn something. Basically, while his rivals are working hard in a special training program not many people get, Hinata works hard to find training – working hard at special training vs. working hard to receive training, if you will. He takes advantage of his dire situation and uses it to learn all sorts of things.

Looking now at the end of season four, we can see the fruits of Hinata’s labor finally shine. He perfectly receives multiple crucial spikes and starts to seem like a well-rounded player. After Kageyama, it felt like Hinata deserved the title of MVP for the first time.

In general, I don’t think that failing to deliver a great message through the theme of hard work vs. natural talent will make or break an anime. But when that theme is an essential part of a message you want to portray or pertains to a big part of an arc, failing to deliver can create significant inconsistencies and dial down the quality of an anime as a whole in some viewers’ eyes. Asta’s whole goal should be obtained through the means of hard work alone; otherwise, it creates cracks in the logic of his message. When hard work vs. natural talent is a reoccurring theme in Naruto for about 40 episodes and creates a contradictory ending to the theme, it will cause significant dissatisfaction to the audience who resonated with it. I love the general concept of themes, but when dealing with one, always bring a good closing to it to flesh out the elements of your story and so you don’t turn off your audience.

[neko-shinigxmi]

   Ohhh, I lost a follower. Good note to start this off at. So! Anyways!!

   I’ve vented a LOT about this in private...and I feel like maybe the reason why this keeps bothering me is because I never air it out where it’s been needed. I have never said my piece because, while I have a stance, I’ve been more afraid (in the past) of blacklash and how people would think of me. Which is dumb, I realize now, because people I don’t even KNOW have a way of thinking of me that isn’t good. So what’s the point in trying to care about stuff like that?

   This is a long-winded way of saying that- although belated- I want to give my thoughts on the Age Discourse. (With potential ties to the Villain Discourse, but that’s only gonna make sense later into the post.)

   Obviously, feel free not to read! I know that this community is done of the Discourse and I would like to be, too.....but I’ve also vented about this multiple times in my own server and I feel like if I need to vent about it again, maybe it’s time I do it in the place that’s been causing the stress in the first place.

   With all that said, let’s get into it.

   By Law of Canon, I have young F/Os. Most of which stopped at 17, due to series ending or no promised continuation ever coming to light. (Since some series, like DanganRonpa, had their main focus be high schoolers, but then Dangan Ronpa: Hope (the anime) came out, and everyone’s now canonly in their twenties to wrap up the series and move on to other things, same formula. Also: Naruto and Death Note.) This makes sense on the media side of it, since sometimes, you really don’t want to drag your shoes through all the nitty-gritty details. Who wants to hear about the whacky MC high schooler finding a day to day job? Afterstories? Psssshh.

   ....But then, there’s me. This little autistic kid who puts all their stakes into these fictional worlds and people. Who REALLY gets into it! This character likes me, these characters are my BFFs, and the rest.... Well, I’m just gonna take this world and make my own little story in it! Cause it’s fun!!! And in the eyes of fandom- at that time- I was totally weird, but made it okay. I got the right friends to support my self-inserting. Hell, it’s probably kinda cute for a kid to be so excited about this stuff.

   Now I’m in my twenties. I made it far enough to find the community...and learned that most people agree that if your F/O is age locked, you should leave them behind. And I suppose that makes sense...if you can do that. If you can let go of those feelings and move along, happy at past memories.

   ......I can’t, though. Kurama’s always been my best example for this, cause he’s been the BEST showing of how my worlds have evolved past canon. His canon stopped him at 17. (Yoko is far older, but. Still, his physical body is young.)

   I’ve had Kurama as an F/O for....about 12-13 years, maybe? Which might seem pretty young, but I’ve had.......childhood issues, to put it one way. A friend got me into the show in.....around middle school or so. I liked Kurama ever since.

   In all these years I’ve had him, he’s strayed from canon’s end point. In my world, we age-match, if not him being a year or two older. Two kids and a house all our own; basically a large cottage with PLENTY of flowers and a lovely garden. There’s also a special greenhouse for his demon plants to take residence in.

   I am not a “pedo in love with a 17 year old”......it’s a fictional character who’s my age. Cause I said so and canon wouldn’t let him EXIST past the ending of the manga.

   And that’s what frustrates me so much. One, that my F/Os who canonly have a younger age, were never shown older. Why is it okay to have Naruto Uzumaki as an F/O- who GOT to age up in the show- but I can’t keep Alphonse, because FMA ended when Ed was 18, and not Alphonse? When his canon story ended....why is it suddenly not allowed for ME to finish his story? To keep writing it?

   Secondly, because THIS AGE ISSUE HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE IN FANDOM BEFORE!!!! Of all the fanfics I’ve read over the years, writing characters as older for story purposes has ALWAYS been a thing!! This character is older so he can be the CEO of a company in my AU fic. This character is older so I can show their friendships and relationships, and show how they changed after this important, canon events. I wrote her as older so I can show........whatever.

   I could write a fic where me and Guzma are Pokemon, and nobody would have a problem with it. But no..... If I age up a character, I’m a pedo.

   And I get what it’s supposed to be...don’t look at a kid, think they’re hot, and then fall back on “age up” as a thing. I get that idea, cause if an adult aged up Deku to ship with.......I’d be side-eyeing that. I fully admit to that one. My point is “how does this account for people who just want to grow up with their F/Os?”

   Maybe it’s more nuanced than that and I don’t get it; it wouldn’t be the first time. (I mentioned autism offhand before cause I NEED people to understand that I’m seeking to understand this. I don’t get the connection. I really, really don’t. Maybe there’s something I’m missing! I wouldn’t know!) But as it stands, I just feel frustrated and all too often alienated. Because I know why I do what I do. It’s because of how I was growing up. I went through awful situations and went through emotional abuse at a super young age. I let people walk all over me and thought it was okay, because maybe they’d stay if I was enough. Nice enough, quiet enough....whatever.

   I didn’t- and don’t- want to let these characters go not only for the life I’ve built for us and all of them......but because people have continuously left my life. I’ve always felt so, so alone and left behind... Fictional characters are the ONE constant that can’t be taken from me. And I need that.

   ....Anyways, I did want to tie this back around to the Villain Discourse, so as a sort of weird closure..... I see this as the VD. My example? Purple Guy. For some reason, I like him. Couldn’t properly explain it right now (not without going on another rant and this post is long enough as is), but I like him.

   HOWEVER this does NOT mean I condone his actions in any way. I do NOT support child murder. I have siblings- little kids, themselves- and I know, if he was a real person, that they could be at risk. And I would LOATHE someone like that. They’d make me fucking sick.

   But it’s a fictional character. He’s not going to hurt any real-world people. My sisters are safe...and I can goof around with a fictional, literally purple man as I want. Because I know where reality and fiction differs. I KNOW that there’s a difference between condoning actions and just simply thinking a character is neat. And that’s that.

#Aki speaks #It's the Discourse #Venting #DO! NOT!!!! REBAGEL!!!!!!!! #I'm in a Mood and wanted to say things #I hope this makes sense hhhhh #I have my exceptions but #for the most part it's all just.....weird to me #idk #I'm frustrated and in a weird mood #I might even delete this later idk

[awintersrose]

HashiTobi; Deathless Prompt List; “I have moved the earth and water for you.”

Based on some headcanons we’ve shared in which Tobirama’s heritage might have been a bit different…this became longer than it was meant to ;)

*

*

*

The cavalcade stops before the Uzumaki shrine as the bridal procession meets its end, and Tobirama falls in step behind Hashirama and his intended, a perfect shadow, as effortless as the very first time he mirrored his brother’s footsteps. He ignores the grating sensation within his chest, for duty is duty, and nothing matters more than the continuity of the legacy of the village that owns their souls, and the clan that holds their blood.

His brother’s blood, at the least. There is a secret that died with Tobirama, Itama, and Kawarama’s mother, but no one speaks of such things when the Senju rally among their own. Blood is blood, and sons are sons, and when Senju Butsuma lost his first wife and took - some might say stole, but it matters not - another from among one of the northern tribes, it mattered little whether that woman already had a toddler close in age to his firstborn, so long as his first son was not at risk of losing his inheritance and pride of place. The Senju always needed to replenish the army with fighters and it was likely that a male child would die in battle anyway, thus his advisors suggested it was better to give the clan head’s son a protector than to abandon or expose the child in the forest.

Thus within his private household it was known that Tobirama would never inherit, and it was never revealed beyond closed doors that from the start the boy would find himself set apart as more of a retainer than a member of his own family. He would become Hashirama’s shadow, call him brother, and Butsuma father, but it would be made clear that those words would never mean the same things for him as they did for other children. His mother loved him, but the desires of women never weighed heavily on the minds of Senju men in those days.

Itama’s birth brought the bustle of joy, new excitement and unity a distraction for Butsuma and the affirmation that his line was strong, but the jubilation was short-lived, when the war drums always beckoned onward. Hashirama and Tobirama began schooling in martial arts and how to hold swords as soon as they could pick up wooden training blades, and their father was merciless. Then the following year, Tobirama’s mother died bearing Kawarama, and Butsuma grew even colder in his grief.

Late one autumn night, a five year old Hashirama intervened to save Tobirama’s life from the ire of his drunken father.

“I won’t ever let him hurt you again.” he promised, with a tearful smile and an outstretched hand, the common area of the house splintered and shot through with tree trunks the size of giants, at least to Tobirama’s eyes.

From that moment on, Tobirama swore he’d never leave Hashirama’s side.

Nevertheless, being raised as a Senju male meant peace was something only to be dreamt about. Tobirama remained Hashirama’s shadow as his brother in name, as their brothers in blood were sacrificed to the war machine, all traces of their childhood innocence going along with them. Hashirama’s associations and fascinations with the Uchiha heir were a growing problem, and Tobirama also felt the beginnings of what he later realized was jealousy, agreeing to spy on his brother for Butsuma.

The years stretched on in a series of endless battles and attempts at treaties and tenuous periods of peace. Boyhood fled, and inseparable, both Hashirama and Tobirama were no longer children but young men. When they were seventeen, Butsuma pushed to ensure that the needs of young men were met, sending them off to a bathhouse that catered to such needs.

It was at this bathhouse that Hashirama pulled him abruptly behind a partition in the dark of a secluded hallway and kissed him for the first time. Shock nearly made him shy away, but the sun-warm brightness of Hashirama’s chakra and the softness of his lips drew Tobirama into the heat of his embrace all the more. Still, the threat of being discovered forced him to think sensibly and he pulled away in spite of the growing intoxication and the heavy beating of his own heart.

“Don’t forget me?” Hashirama asked hurriedly before they were forced to part.

The thoughts of Hashirama’s kiss carried him through the awkward embarrassment of the remainder of that night, and when they reunited in the courtyard to travel home that morning, their route home diverted into the woods for stolen moments of new discovery both exciting and frightening in their intensity. What he felt and what they shared might be wrong in the eyes of others, but only because they didn’t know the truth, and they never would.

And Tobirama simply did not care. He was used to locking his emotions away, safe behind walls of steel where they could not be used against him.

Butsuma’s passing in battle was a blow to the clan at large, but he was granted an honorable death, and Hashirama assumed his place as clan head with more poise than anyone might have expected. Tobirama moved in his shadow, to no one’s surprise, tireless in his support and devotion. To those who witnessed them, all was as it should have been, brother supporting brother, although their household held its secrets. Behind those walls, though discreet, they were free for the first time in either of their lives. To live… and to love.

When the treaty between the clans was established, Tobirama remained in his place; like the veritable water upon the earth which fed the roots of the great tree that made up the village of his brother’s dreams. He was oddly content for the first time in his life, able to learn and seek his passions in this curious, anomalous peacetime. The Uchiha would always pose a threat, and Madara’s presence always left him unsettled, but the state of matters was secured for the time being.

That was, until further security matters required cementing loyalties with Uzushiogakure. The council insisted that the best way to accomplish such a feat was through the marriage of the Village leader to the eldest daughter of the headman of the island village. Their insistence hinged upon the fact that it would benefit everyone, especially as the Senju clan head was surely in need of an heir, or several. Thus, arrangements were made with due haste, and Uzumaki Mito was sent to Konoha with a full retinue to begin negotiations regarding her marriage to Hashirama.

The crushing weight behind his ribs began that day and has not let up since.

Now Tobirama stands at his brothers back, watching Hashirama exchange vows with the red-haired foreigner, with the same impassive expression of a soldier holding a vigil. He can feel her sharp blue eyes scanning his form, weighing and measuring, and he knows she is no fool; he wonders what she is thinking when she gazes at him. He knows one thing: he does not trust the Uzumaki witch. Not yet.

The wedding feast passes far too quickly for his liking, and Hashirama’s good humor wears at his nerves. He longs for an escape, hating the noise and the crowd, and the charming face his brother shows his bride so easily. Even more so he hates what is yet to come.

Tobirama excuses himself to get some air for a few moments, walking furtively down a hallway to a meditation room and out onto the engawa. He rushes out the door and into the cold air outside where no one can see him fall apart for a brief moment. A few seconds, he tells himself, then no more.

Familiar, sun-bright chakra fills the space behind his eyelids, making all the fine hairs rise on the back of his neck, and in two beats Hashirama’s arms are around him, making him safe.

Making him despair.

“Anija, you can’t be here,” he chokes. “And you can’t do this.”

“I have moved the earth and water for you. I’d do anything for you and you know it.” Hashirama says fervently. “This is nothing.”

“Go back to your wife. This… it’s your wedding day.”

“I won’t forget you.”

“You have to today.” Tobirama near scoffs, wrenching himself free, though it seems to cut something within him to do so, leaving him bleeding inwardly.

Hashirama looks crestfallen, backing away as if from a wounded animal who might lash out and bite at any moment, and Tobirama can see the sheen of tears in his eyes. His brother always did have a hard time controlling his emotions.

He turns to face the snowy gardens until he can feel his brother’s chakra move back towards the dining hall. It is only then that he allows himself the moment of anger and grief that Hashirama interrupted. Then he puts on his courtly visage, and returns to his position as his brother’s shadow once more.

It is only an hour until he will be left to guard the bedchamber. It may break him, but no one else can be trusted to guard Hashirama as well as he can.

If Hashirama swears earth and water, then he’ll swear blood and bone.

[Deathless Prompt list…]

#asks #hashitobi #hashirama #tobirama #my fanfics #thatshipcat

[yellowsteps945]

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[eilowyn]

Do you know some good narusaku fics that don't shit on sasuke or ship him with anyone else? I used to be a huge NS fan but kind of got out of touch with it. Plus I adore Sasuke and personally don't want him with anyone. Unless it's me of course 😏

I sure do! To me the ones without Sasuke in them at all are the best since I just try to avoid his existence altogether, LOL.

Summaries are by their respective authors.

Rated K

The Return of a Loved One - Naruto is finally back from his three year training trip and everyone is excited to see him. He’s especially excited to see a certain medical kunoichi, but he’ll never tell. What if Tsunade, does, though?[Complete]

Official Business - Being the Hokage can be dull. Luckily for Naruto, he has a wonderful distraction in the shape of his girlfriend - that is, when she isn’t bringing him bad news… [Complete]

In the Morning - “The alarm clock starts to trill, and it takes all of Sakura’s strength to lift her arm from under the duvet and turn it off.” NaruSaku fluff, one-shot.[Complete]

Luck - Shinachiku was born only a week ago to the new parents Naruto and Sakura. Naruto relishes in his new life with his new son. NaruSaku [Complete]

Rated T

wouldn’t it be nice? - Sakura maybe needs more sleep than she gets on any average night, but when the kindergarten teacher who works at the school across the street is a literal ray of sunshine, it’s okay. And when his dad likes her? Even better. (modern!AU) [Complete]

Who’s Your True Love? - Test? Not just any test. It’s a test to see if your ‘friendship’ with your best guy friend is better off as friends or lovers. NaruSaku. ShikaIno. [Complete]

Shinachiku’s First Adventure - In a world at peace, a new generation is about to begin. Watch as young Shinachiku Uzumaki, son of Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno, embarks on his first real adventure, all the while his parents find themselves unearthing a plot that could spell disaster for the Hidden Leaf Village and the world as they know it. Will their love survive? NaruSaku. [Complete]

Refinding a lost love - Sakuro Haruno meets a sports reporter and falls in love but she hasn’t had a date since her last marriage but the more they get to know each other. The more she starts to have some feelings for him. Question is will she finally move on and give him a chance?[Complete]

Lifting the Dream - Post chapter 698. Maybe there really was a happy ending after all. [Team 7 centric. NaruSaku] [Complete]

Renting Out a Room - Sakura is adamant on Naruto being her roommate when she gets an apartment. When Naruto declines, it leaves her to inquire why. Naruto’s house becomes a home. NaruSaku. Oneshot.[Complete]

Happy Father’s Day Naruto - It’s Father’s Day and Naruto plans to sped the day with his family. But he is surprised when he finds his son reading the story about the day he met his grandfather, Minato. Naruto sees this as a fitting moment to bond with his son and let him know just how proud he is of him. NaruSaku. Naruto/Shinachiku bonding story. Prequel to “Shinachiku’s First Adventure.”[Complete]

Might have some antagonist!Sasuke but, only to be true to the story:

Beauty and The Beast NaruSaku Style - Once upon a time a handsome prince was transformed into a hideous beast. Can a Pink haired dreamer help him find love in time to break the spell? A NaruSaku Story inspired by my favorite disney classic, an endearing fairy tale, and my favorite anime[Complete]

Rated M

dancing on my own - The war is over, and Naruto only requests one thing from Sakura: a chance. She accepts with a heavy heart. As they grow closer and rediscover each other in different ways, Sakura will soon come to a decision she is nowhere near ready to make. Post-War. M for sexual content later on. [In-Progress]

Distractions - A small training accident causes Sakura to acquire an uncomfortable splinter in a difficult to access place on her own. Naruto, feeling guilty for the whole situation but ignorant of the cause, demands that he be able to help her remove it. lemon [Complete]

Naruto-sensei - Naruto, now a Jounin, has been given his own team of Genin to lead. During their training a new evil begins to rise. How will Naruto’s teachings prepare these young Genin for the struggle that is to come? [NaruSaku] [This is a rewrite to the Chronicles of Kurosaki Hiroshi.][In-Progress]

Naruto and Sakura’s Twelfth Anniversary - Naruto and Sakura’s anniversary is coming up, and he’s got some plans for them to enjoy a night on the town. Its also a moment of responsibility for their son Shinachiku, who has the opportunity to earn his parents trust and show how much he’s growing up. How will the night goes for all of them? [Complete]

Enjoy!

#narusaku #anon