#thinking of getting off of tumblr and just staying on insta and setting up a neocities

[fepir]

#mlp #mlp redesign #twilight sparkle #twilight #art #digital art #artists on tumblr #fanart #2024 #febuary #thinking of getting off of tumblr and just staying on insta and setting up a neocities #i love tumblr but i fucking hate the ceo #if i end up moving ill let yall know #..... also i gotta learn how to code a website bc i refuse to let my neocities site look like shit

[shiveringgroovy]

bsd social media hcs who uses what/ what do their profiles look like

HELP oh my god. i'm gonna do the ADA and maybe later on the other organizations :3

Atsushi

got really into the internet after being picked up by the ada but lost interest in it after a while

probably browses tumblr casually and likes cat videos or things of that nature

dazai made him a twitter account that he never uses

basic/default account style, he's not flashy about it and doesn't care to personalize his account. if he did, his pfp would probably be a cat or a low quality chazuke pic

inat casual. just there to see cool animals (i headcanon him as a naturalist so hard nobody understands)

Dazai

twitter user and not ashamed. posts the stupidest shit and has like 20k tweets. probably didn't use socials at all until he left the port mafia but this guy is always tweeting

he's got some stupid ass layout like my priv twitter.

either 3 followers or 5k followers. no in between

has gotten sussed multiple times

Kunikida

HE'S AN EXPERT ON BRAINLY TRUST ME ON THIS

Casual reddit user and once did an "am i the asshole for punching the shit out of my coworker for being suicidal" and got put in one of those subway surfer text to speech things

and dazai found it, IMMEDIATELY recognized who it was, and would not let kunikida live it down

he's afraid to post anything now

same as atsushi, default settings

Yosano

not a big social media girlie!!

probably has instagram and posts stuff she likes on her story, only two posts on her profile

pfp is a picture of a butterfly with blood on its wings because it goes hard

Kyouka

LOVES the internet. specifically pinterest and the girlie side of tumblr (naomi introduced her)

pins are very aesthetically pleasing, she's got a nice following on pinterest for posting pics of her snacks from outings and such

let her be happy and girlie and full of whimsy she deserves it :3

Naomi

i'm tired of naomi slander. she's the victim of HORRIBLE writing and i hate asagiri for making a character that's otherwise a sweetheart into one unfunny "joke."

sorry rant over

she introduced kyouka to the internet and helped her set up a pinterest and tumblr (also warned her to stay off tumblr because shit gets icky QUICK)

same sort of stuff as kyouka, but likes posting her fit checks rather than food

Jun'ichiro

has a twitter, doesn't use it often

idk what to say about him i don't think he's into socials all that much

Ranpo

BRAINROTTED TUMBLR USER I SWEAR TO GOD. HE'S THE FUCKING WORST /affectionate

voted for sans

fairly popular on tumblr, has a picture of karl in a chip bag as his pfp

has insta only to follow yosano

pfp on insta is probably a cute picture of him and poe :)

Kenji

considers the mycelium network a social media

but yeah he has an inaturalist

identification GOD. like holy hell how did you guess the exact species and sex of that spider little farm boy

also another one of my naturalist headcanons except it's like?? basically canon idk

Haruno

you thought i was gonna forget a woman didn't you. no girlie left behind it's women's month

has the most aesthetically pleasing instagram ever

large following on insta, pinterest, and twitter

she's just a really positive person :)

shares pics from the agency that she thinks are cute

Fukuzawa

bro

what do i even say here

he has whatsapp that's fucking IT

#shiveringshitposts #shiveringstraydogs #shiveringthoughts #shiveringasks #bungo sd #bungo gay dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #armed detective agency #dazai #yosano #kunikida #yosano akiko #bsd yosano #bungou stray dogs yosano #izumi kyouka #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #bsd kunikida #kunikida doppo #bsd fukuzawa #fukuzawa yukichi #haruno bsd #kenji miyazawa #bsd kenji #ranpo #bsd ranpo #ranpo edogawa #bungou stray dogs ranpo

[enemyforklift]

Doodle of elias and jeanne the anatomy is not good but I am very sleep deprived

Their relationship is very good for a long time. They have 3 kids together but were always better friends than lovers which is why neither of them were overly sad about the divorce. It went downhill after the incident (severe workplace injury) around 10 years before the story is set when he’s in his early 30s. After this he seems to become more nervous, antisocial and obsessed with work and Jeanne just falls out of love with him

They still remain close friends, even if it’s in a snarky way where they just insult each other constantly but oddly enough always stick around each other and get on very well. They have the same sense of humour in that way

Jeanne believes they should have just stayed friends bc they genuinely do like each other and elias is too busy fighting the most insane demons imaginable to even think about that stuff but he probably agrees…he just doesn’t think about being in another relationship since his divorce bc hes too focused on his job (until he meets Gabe that is, when he doesn’t have a job anymore)

He is good at his job. He gets results and is liked by his juniors but the higher ups don’t like him because he takes too many risks and is a massive liability. Occasionally his risks have paid off but evidently there’s a lot of times where it doesn’t and the consequences are pretty bad. So they were waiting for any excuse to sack him

Sorry I don’t usually talk about this story on tumblr I mainly post it on insta. It is my whole life and all I ever think about so I will take any opportunity to not shut up about it

#furry #furry art #furry artist #furry oc #oc #oc art #fursona #procreate #sfw furry #cat furry

[ohtobeleah]

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I strongly believe you should tell anyone you want in your corner if anything were to go wrong during your first trimester. If that’s your tumblr family then so be it. There is not enough awareness about miscarriages and IVF so full credit to you for being so open.

As far as your career goes. I find women that stay active throughout pregnancy really inspiring. I could never do it. Women like Kara Saunders if you follow on Insta, I take my hat off to them. I think you’ll only increase your name in your community. Good luck!!!

I’m ready to be fully transparent & honest about my journey with you all. No matter where it leads me or what roads we need to travel as a couple to have kiddos. Naturally, IVF, adoption. I’ll share it all.

I think I’ll tell my sister & my best friend when I first find out. But I’d like to wait just a little while before telling my mum & dad and my mother in law and everyone else. Just incase something does happen? You know? Less people to have to explain to to I guess.

My career worries me immensely, like I’m definitely going to work through my pregnancy if I can. Reception, PT. But classes are where I get the most engagement and enjoyment and just the idea of having to set up an entire circuit class while pregnant damn near makes me cringe because I hate doing that shit now haha. But thank-you so much for your love & support.

From one badass bitch to another.

#leahs journey to becoming a mum

[horce-divorce]

We don't really have a deadline to leave other than "sometime when the weather is nicer," but generally speaking we have about 2 months to either find a new car or fix our setup for the summer. If we can't swap it out we'll still be okay out there, it's just so exhausting to have to move our stuff around constantly to make it fit inside a Murano. We can NOT stealth camp with this setup, it's boondocking only, which makes things a lot more complex, and we can't even really fit all of the supplies we actually need with us in there at all times. We also can't take anyone else in the car with us when we've got it set up for camp, which can make things weird in a pinch at times, too.

I've posted this before, but here's a couple pics of what we're working with: the whole house from the outside, and the view from our bed when its set up. I could probably keep doing this indefinitely if it was just me, but with both of us and all our supplies in here it's pretty tricky.

I've never sold a car before, and I know mine is NOT worth the full blue book value, but if I could get even 1/4 of it I'm pretty sure we could buy an equally used van with that. But I also have never bought a car bc my dad passed this one down to me... I know you need to, like, check the frame for rust, among other things? but idk how to identify other big deal breakers.

Anyway... saw the notif for ~60 days and I just got ponderous. I'm working on some posts for Ko-Fi right now as well, thinking about what kind of art and other incentives I'll be able to keep offering from camp this summer.

I've been trying to post more on Insta, too, as much as I hate it... I've sworn off all other social media and I don't really want my tumblr attached to my IRL stuff as much as possible (i know it already is to a certain degree, i just try to keep things tidy), so I guess Insta is where I'll be for now, unless a worthy successor to DeviantArt shows up. I suppose I could make a side/art blog too, but I already have one for photography and like, mehhh Idk.

In any case, I'm very grateful not to be out there now. Here's some pics from the last few days. Michigan is getting even more snow than here because of the lake effect.

We're hopeful of coming back here next winter as well... it'd be nice to be able to stay here long term. Our friend shares our dream of being able to bring the cats here and reunite them with Bel, but it's ultimately not up to them, so we're not sure if or when that might ever come to pass.

For now, the one thing that's for sure is that we need to be able to stay mobile, and we need more space in the car. But I do think that keeping up our usual lifestyle like this is feasible. We've both been making art here, and we do it out at camp more than anywhere else. If I can figure out a good sub tier structure for ko-fi and have subscriber stuff go out once a month instead of going to the post office every time I get an order, that would be way easier. And having some money coming in would mean ebegging less. I haven't looked into air fairs/fests yet either but maybe I can sell some art there too. But again, we either have to have a bigger vehicle or some kind of home base for all of it to work. It's tricky, but no moreso than trying to get housing.

I accidentally added a poll and I'm not copypasting this entire draft to get rid of it omg. End of post

#me #car living

[batboyblog]

Things I like about Tumblr, 2022

first off, Tumblr isn't perfect, it's full of people, and people in general and on-line can be pretty crap, but in a rare move for me I'm looking at the good.

you are not expected to post under your own name/face. In fact people would think you were pretty freaking weird if you did. To the Best of my knowledge only one person posts under their own name with their face as a profile pic, Hi Neil Gaiman! If we keep this up Tumblr will not become a semi-work space like twitter

No one knows your follower count (and honestly you shouldn't know it either) The level of brain rot I see on twitter around having a big follower count is so embarrassing, "help me get to X million!" is so very cringe, much like blue checks its a meaningless thing and we're all better off not knowing who's "popular" there are popular posts not people.

I have a very popular post about the long term nature of Tumblr so I won't go too much into it other than to say that it's nice that we can have long term jokes and memes on here, because we're able to reblog things from the past without any shame and judgement and so a culture and in jokes and yearly (or weekly) events happen here in a way I don't see on more "now! now! now!" social media.

You can do whatever, linking to #1 because we're not a semi-professional webpage where people are selling their "brand" etc there's little to no pressure (outside of yourself) to stay on topic or theme, you can and should reblog that gif set of a funny show from 10 years ago, that moody art shot of a field before a storm, and that short video of puppies falling over, wild out.

You decide if people see your likes. How many times did people get busted for having porn in their Twitter likes, where here no one can judge you, again we're not a work space so if you like that picture of a man in jock strap, go for it reblog that shit, but if you're shy don't worry you can enjoy what you enjoy without having to share with the class.

We hate crypto, we hate NFT, we always have we always will and thats very sexy of us

you can (still) say what you like. The need to make platforms safe for advisors and influencers has lead to "unalive" and other ways to try to get around using bad words. On Tumblr I can say that Elon Musk sucks a whole bucket of monkey shit and I hope he's pushed down the stairs at Twitter HQ.

Tags my beloved, tags are funny, lovely cool little notes, a way to add a joke, say something heart felt etc without worrying "is this needed?" and guess what if the answer was "yes it was" someone will screen shot them and add them to the post for you, win win.

Long form thought, I know this is a semi-jokey list but like no joking I think having all our politicians, journalists and "thought leaders" spending all day on and mainly communicating through a webpage with a very small character limit was/is very bad for our society. Tumblr (as you can see) you can write an essay (I don't think those people should come here, but I never run out of characters)

there's nowhere better for formatting gifs or picture sets, I honestly can't imagine trying to post a series of gifs or pictures on Insta or Twitter and having them all folded up rather than laid out in order all visible at once (and not cropped down, well most of the time)

There's no algorithm, everyone says it but it needs to be on the list, there's no real hand holding pushing you to this or that, there's nothing boosting or hiding your post, you pick what you like and follow it, and then those blogs do something weird and different and thats chill and you keep on.

we're the gay trans sex website, pretty much no where else on-line can you find this much dumb, non sequitur queer humor or as supportive of the trans experience, yes there are TERFs but they are more fringe here than basically any where else.

we just don't matter, back to #1 we are not a place where you can market yourself or your brand or whatever, as such things are just not that serious, this is a social media website made for fun, to enjoy TV, books, and movies mainly but really whatever you do enjoy.

negative I'd like to address before I go, the on-going porn ban, I'm not in favor of porn itself on here, I don't think we need gif sets of studio porn or whatever. But once Tumblr was a safe space for a lot of queer performers to spread their self made work. It also was a safe space for Queer art, both photographic and drawn, to express sensuality and sexuality. And a safe space for Queer artists to draw art of characters totally fucking the shit out of each other. It was a place where enjoyment of the human form and sexuality could be mixed with all the other parts of life as normal. There were for sure problems, however in an ever more censored and sex negative world I think a freed Tumblr is more needed than ever, so I hope we figure that out soon.

#Tumblr #twitter #social media #meta #thoughts

[diari0deglierrori]

D:

Hiiiii!!!! @omarfor-mp3 I’m diari0deglierrori, I’m alive and (almost) well, sorry to appear like this out of the blue but I was desperate and I’m feeeling awful and I need to vent so I figured I’d make a new blog to explain a bit. I saw your post about a mutual disappearing and figured it could be me (in the eventuality of it not being about me, feel free to ignore). So! Where do I start.

It all started on a dark January afternoon, the sky was grey and the air- ok I’ll go straight to the point: so I was just chilling, using this app as usual, and then all of a sudden, the Wi-Fi went down for like an hour and I couldn’t use it anymore, so ok, I go on with my life (although very annoyed because I had things to say). So then it seems that the Wi-Fi is back, at least insta is working, so I come back here to make a post about it (I don’t even know if it got published or not though? Something about the Wi-Fi who stopped working right when I was about to watch a movie ?) But when I hit post an error message appeared, the one that usually appears when there’s not Wi-Fi, so I try turning on my phones data and all to make it work but it doesn’t change a thing, I only get error messages. Then foolish little old me thinks it’s only because of a bad connection again so I check everything else to see if they work or not, every other app seems to be working so I come back here and when I check on my blogs they all seem to be gone, only my main’s name appears (it kind of happened once but only lasted about 5/10 minutes) so I start to worry and check other peoples blogs to see if it’s just the app or me. I figure I can go on the trending page, I can search things and go on blogs, so I go on yours and see the post about a mutual disappearing and it hits me. I’m simply gone. My whole life for the past 9ish years, vanished. I’m devastated. Oh but the problems are only getting started! I somehow still think my phone is the main problem, maybe it crashed a bit somehow so I go on settings and turn it off, thinking that maybe it’ll kind of reset things (not like reset reset, you know? Just like when you turn it off and on? I can’t explain right, my brain feels crushed). So I do the usual, turn it off, wait for a couple of minutes and try turning it on again. It does, the screen turns on, it says it’s locked and to swipe up to unlock, which I do. But it doesn’t work, the screen doesn’t move. I touch the buttons and they work just fine, I mean I can put it on mute and stuff, but nothing that needs the screen. So I start to panic a bit, tell people to call it so I can see if it still works, so they do and I see it can ring but I can’t swipe to answer, it’s like it’s frozen or something. But like not completely, I don’t know how to explain. Anyway, long story short I think I broke my phone, I can’t use it anymore, but the screen stays on and the hours go by, as if it was just mocking me. This is when you realize you’re stupid and wished you did a backup before, which I never do because as I said, I’m stupid. So anyway I tried to go log on my tumblr on my laptop but it didn’t work, so I tried changing the password too but then it said that my account got terminated and that I should report it to the staff or something… so I did, I’m waiting to see if they’ll ever answer.

I looked it up and apparently it happened to a lot of people, someone even explained it better than me: 

“Originally it wouldn't load and said I needed to log in. I logged out and attempted to log back in, but it said my email/password was wrong. I tried to change my password and now it says my account was terminated. I've had this account for 10 years.”. 

Same thing happened to me. 

Aaaanayway, I’ve been dying inside ever since, hahahahahahejsfbkand 

(I’m tagging you because of the post btw, sorry to bother) 

#I’m so upset #Sorry again!! #Sara I could tag you to but didn’t dare to so I just followed with this blog maybe you’ll see this too #The rest of my mutuals is not really active everyday I’m sure they won’t notice I’m gone #I mean I could tell myself ‘bold of you to assume anyone would’ #But still #Anyway I made this way too long too so sorry

[persi-person]

I had a poll on Instagram a while back about what to lore dump on but I want to throw out some Upside Down stuff so don’t tell them.

Upside Down is something I’ve started working on recently. It’s based on a writing piece I’d started a year or so back when I was bored. It was originally inspired by Tales From The Gas Station by Jack Townsend as well as some other stories I’ve heard listening to MrCreepyPasta’s nonstop horror radio, but now that I’ve started working on it again, I’ve taken some inspiration from The Last of Us too. (Fun fact: I had originally called it Tales From The End but you can probably guess why I changed it lol)

Upside Down tells the story of a world that has been torn apart by a mysterious incident that set supernatural creatures loose everywhere. It’s told mostly from the perspective of Emory, who is suffering from amnesia after an accident in an abandoned hospital. He’s rescued by a mysterious figure and taken to a fortified camp of survivors where he makes his recovery and starts to learn about the world he’s forgotten. It has less of an overarching/adventurous/intense plot and is more about this characters experiencing the world they’re in and forming relationships.

TL;DR: I’m working on a story with apocalyptic themes

Beyond the cut is just me going more in depth on ideas I have and drawings I’ve done.

The first character design I had was for Root. At the time, I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with him, but he’s become very important by now. He’s the one who finds Emory and brings him back to the camp.

I’ve already posted this but these are better drawings of him.

He’s quiet and brooding and prefers to keep to himself. He’s got a lot of secrets that he’s not too keen on sharing. He’s a very skilled fighter and is almost abnormally strong and resilient (suspicious), but most people at camp don’t get to see him work because he prefers to work alone.

Emory gets to know him when he’s finally well enough to be assigned on missions and is paired with Root to go on a supply run. The captain understands he doesn’t like company, but she wants someone to show Em the ropes and figures Root knows what he's doing so he should do just fine.

Root doesn’t like Emory at first, but as they continue to work together, they start to get along.

It took me a while to come up with a design for Emory, but I came to this final look with the help of my friend. I’d like to credit her but she doesn’t have Tumblr and doesn’t want her Insta to get too much attention.

Emory is more outgoing than Root. He’s more reckless and impulsive, which has gotten him into trouble more than once. For multiple reasons I’m pretty sure he has ADHD, but if he does, it’s undiagnosed and will probably stay that way because there’s no one in the camp to do that for him. The most anyone can do is speculate. He doesn’t think he has it though.

Like I mentioned before, Root and Emory started off on the wrong foot, and that's because Emory makes poor decisions that put himself and Root in danger. Despite repeated warnings from Root, Emory rarely listens, which frustrates Root to no end.

Over time and as they go on more missions together, they gradually start to get along. Root teaches Emory how to defend himself better and Emory starts to listen to Root more (sort of).

Emory is the first to develop feelings. He doesn't say anything because he assumes Root isn't interested. Root later follows suit but also says nothing, instead repressing his feelings and convincing himself he's not worthy of love.

I have some other ideas and worldbuilding I will share in a later post because I can't spoil everything in one go lol. I have a Google Doc with all the random stuff I have on this if anyone is interested.

#writing #i really suck at tags #original character

[lunas-slave]

Okay gonna post this here cuz I don't think anyone I know here and irl will care, and I don't think I gave anyone my Tumblr this weekend. So ima rant under the cut about a boy I met this weekend that I fell in love with

So this weekend I went to sonic temple, a music festival in ohio. First day, this guy compliments my outfit (cuz I was looking bangin) and we ended up talking about a few things and before I knew it, my next band started to play at the stage one over. So I run over cuz I love these guys, and the crowd is huge and I won't be able to get up. So I accept that and go back to the guy and his friends cuz I can still hear it but now I can be with people and talk. I tell him I'm sad I can't get closer and he just smiles and says "you want in? Come with me", holds out his hand, and drags me into the middle of the crowd. We stays with me and were jumping and dancing and he doesn't know this band but he's vibing. And then they play a cover of Everytime We Touch. He looks at me "they are not". I laugh cuz he's so shocked "they are!" We both start scream singing the lyrics and it's amazing. The band ends their set but I don't wanna leave the guy, he's real nice and cute too. And he let me tag along for the day.

His friends wanted to see other things so me and him kinda went off on our own for the rest of it. We ended up sitting for the last band of the day (Disturbed) and talking and he says "I don't wanna sound like a dirtbag, but do you wanna make out?" Ofc I say yes, cuz he's cute as fuck and we just rocked out to Judas priest together. It was a really fun way to listen to disturbed, gotta say. Really hard to stop myself from singing along. At one point he pulls away and in the softest tone possible at a metal show, goes "woo" after a song ends. It was adorable and hilarious. I did make an offhanded mention of not smoking (bitch lungs) or drinking beer (cuz of the taste), so he gets a fucking white claw so he doesnt taste like beer when we kiss. Considerate asshole. We end the night at the car he came with his friends in, and I got his insta and we had a kiss goodbye with a promise to hang the next day.

The next day, we find each other and it was spent with the friends a lot more but they still let me tag along, and I was super grateful. They were trashed and I helped the guy look after them and we had a lot of fun seeing the different bands and talking between sets. At this point I'm like 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘈𝘋𝘏𝘋 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩, 𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦, 𝘢 𝘧𝘶𝘯 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥, 𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 but that didn't work because that night we saw The Misfits, a band he loves, and he was so damned cute jumping around and singing and head banging and I couldn't stop smiling and watching him. He went crowd surfing and I just watched with a smile and I couldnt even see that well but my eyes were looking for a glimpse of him over the tops of the mass of people. Full blown crush at this point. By now we already established that he's poly and some flavor of fruity thats attracted to my flavor of fruity so my delulu little brain said 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬, no bitch it can't. Anyway, after the crowd surf, we find out one of the friends lost the guys wallet. We look and ask, but no luck. The friend feels awful and works herself up so bad she throws up. We talk it over, we'll look at lost and found and check in the morning too. We go to leave and this time the friends offer to take me back to my hotel so I go with them. Me and the guy spend the whole time making out in the back seat (after he asked if they minded). It was so fun. A very fun time was had.

The next morning I check the festival app and they have the wallet, I message the guy and he's so relieved, we don't know whats in it but the ID at least since his name is listed. I'm already there and he's out tailgating and when he says he's on his way in, I meet him by the L&F and he gets his wallet back (with everything in it, we were so amazed, metal and rock fans are so damn good) and he grabs my face and kisses me and calls me an angel and I just ☺ I died. It was great. We don't meet up with his friends right away, we go to a different couple places, kiss a few times, the day goes on in a similar way of me following him to where he wants, except for when I wanted to see sleep token. He doesn't listen to them I don't think but he stayed with me even though we had a small group of other people at this point. I was really happy. (And my delulu was feeling validated). Again, they take me to my hotel after a late night drive thru snack, and I get a sweet little goodnight kiss. I'm floating at this point, full adoration.

Last day of the festival, I'm bummed cuz this is my last day to make out with a fucking hottie. But so excited cuz fucking slipknot was the final act and you can't be too bummed when you're gonna see fucking SLIPKNOT. So we again, spend the day walking around, drinking, kissing. Slipknot starts and we're in a thinner section of the crowd when he lights a cigarette. He was blowing the smoke up, to be considerate again, and he was been looking so damn hot all day, and I was a little drunk at this point. He puts out the cigarette and I grab him and aggressively kiss him, like, I was not able to resist his stupid little face. He seemed a little taken aback since he 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 put the thing out and I lean up to say (arguably the hottest thing ive ever said) "I said I didn't smoke, I never said I didnt like the taste". I think I killed him for a second, and if that didn't do it for my ego. We aggressively made out for like half a song before getting pulled by the friends deeper into the crowd. The music was great, the people were loud, we were dancing and singing and screaming. The one friend just fucking takes off so we go running after her and she finds the pit. We join in. Some more than others. The guy hands me his glasses. He's off. A second pit joins, people are doing figure 8s between the two and I see him running and pushing people and laughing and my heart is so fucking done over this guy. The band ends their set, the crowd disperses, we make our way to their car. They can't take me back this time (NBD) and this is my last goodbye with this guy. We softly kiss and hug and hold each other and say how happy we were to have met each other, how thankful he was that I helped wrangle his friends, how much better he made the experience for me, sappy shit like that. And off they went.

Now, why is this such a sad thing? Just date the guy! Well I would but he lives in Canada. As I have stated before on my page(I really don't think anyone is reading this wall of garbage it's just for me) I live in Indiana. The USA. I have not traveled more than one state away, let alone another country. I'm weak dude, Ill die. And also, LDR don't work with ADHD. But then I discovered, he's aro! So like, does he even date? Idk and I'm too scared to ask cuz this wasn't anything serious and I don't wanna make it seem like I misunderstood what he was looking for. I knew from the start. This is his slut boy summer and I was just a fun start. But still my damn brain decided to latch onto this one. I know I could have been up front about the obsession forming and let him decide on his own, knowing that I was gonna be weird about it in my head. But I didnt wanna deal with possible rejection, so I kept it to myself, knowing fully well that it would hurt me in the end. And it is hurting. I miss him. I'm glad it happened tho.

I just didn't have anywhere else to put this so im just gonna shove it out for the world to see. (And if he sees this like he saw the message I sent him instead of my discord lamenting how it was my last day to kiss the cutie and I needed vibes, I will perish)

#no one read this lmao #its too damn long #no one cares about my shit

[haysprite]

Hi sillies, just wanted to give a quick update on some things >:3 This is gonna be long, you don't have to read it ofc, but there's some important stuff!

I'm gonna finally set up the lil Legion Q&A sometime next week on one of my days off! Doodling has been v nice and I think this'll be a lot of fun to do, cause it allows me to both doodle and answer some silly questions about my Legion interpretation ! I'm just gonna have it stay on this blog just for my sake (having a separate blog would stress me out a bit lmao, and I don't like having my work in separate spaces aside from Insta), so you'll have to clarify stuff in your Asks, but I think it'll be a lot of fun!

Also I've really enjoyed reading all your Asks n whatnot! Due to work, answering em is gonna be a lot slower than usual unfortunately, since I prefer to type on my laptop which I v much cannot have at work, which you've probably already noticed. I'm slowly but surely catchin up tho, and would still love for you guys to talk about your silly things! I also hope you guys know that even if I don't agree with your headcanons/theories n whatnot, I still enjoy reading em and they always get me thinkin as well, allowing me to give my own personal take on em, so please don't ever hesitate to talk about whatever! This is a safe space to share your ideas and I love that you even wanna bring em up to me in the first place <3

Something that I'm gonna clarify now that even when the comic comes out, my *personal* interpretation will stay the same except for whatever I pick and chose from the comic's canon! I'm v excited for it, esp after reading the quick blurbs and seeing a page from it, and can't wait to see what they do with these funky lil guys, BUT I still really enjoy my version of em, so I'm gonna stick to what I'm doing now :3 I doubt anyone really cares about this, but yknow dslkfjlfkdsj its something I'm a wee bit insecure about so I just wanted to point that out now. Also I dunno if I'll ever draw the comic designs? They've grown on me the more I've seen em, but I've grown too attached to my own lmfao, maybe in a lil drawing challenge I will tho idk :3

Speaking of the comic, I will most definitely be reviewing it !!! I'm gonna post live reactions on Twitter (spoiled, ofc), and then save my final thoughts for Tumblr since I can go more in depth here ! I also would love to redraw some of the panels with my designs as well since I think that'd be funny! I'm also gonna review the Legion Mystery Box that dropped yesterday, cause I bought that thing IMMEDIETLY so I wouldn't miss out on it !!!

I also really wanna start writing some fanfics! I've been talking about this for a while, but I'm hopefully gonna start sometime over the weekend inbetween my shifts! Dunno if they'll be good, but at this point I just gotta stop worrying about that and remember that my work is for me first, and then for some reason a few of you dorks like it as well! They'll probs just be oneshots to start out since I'm v out of practice and wanna figure out how I wanna write these guys, but maybe I could start a fic in the future idk!

Art is gonna become a lot slower unfortunately, I'm workin 40-50 hour weeks now, but I'm still gonna try and get somethin out for y'all at least once a week, since I really do love drawing! I have so many ideas that I'm just itching to draw and share with you folk! I'm still always up for art or doodle ideas/requests as well, though they might take a hot while to finally get to!

Just wanna mention that I'm a lot more active on Twitter, where I just talk about whatever, share game clips, and interact with folks the most! Feel free to check it out if you'd like :3

Just wanted to thank you guys for all your support on my work, I really appreciate it! It helps motivate me a lot to keep at it on top of my desire to show my love to my favorite characters and franchises, and I love that I can share my ideas and artwork with you all! <3

[jeyramarie]

Crushing on you- Florence Pugh x Reader

summary: your crush sort of gets exposed during an interview

wc: 727

a/n: my first florence request 😁 @ideas-for-you-to-adopt also sorry it’s bad, sorry it’s so short and sorry i changed it🥺 anyway i hope you like it... won’t blame you if you don’t 😂 happy reading 🦋

You’ve been acting for a few years and this was your first ever major role. It was a period drama where Chris Hemsworth was one of your co-stars. You were both about to be interviewed by Jimmy Fallon which caused you a lot of nerves since that was really your first ever late night interview. Chris was currently sitting next to you as you sat next to Jimmy’s desk.

“Of course, the movie takes you both on a huge journey and there’s fights and romance so please, Y/n what that was like?” Jimmy asked with a wide smile.

“Well it was really eventful and very very draining but Chis over here was so professional and so respectful. He always made sure I was comfortable with things.” The audience clapped, making Hemsworth randomly clap too.

“That sounds amazing. Since you guys are here we’re gonna play a new game called celebrity crush. You both are going to describe your crush, no name drop, and the rest have to guess who it is..but we don’t say the name either so it stays in suspense. Whoever spills the name first loses and gets eliminated.”

“This sounds fun.” Chris laughed as he got into a better position.

“Okay, Y/n you go first.” Jimmy said, pointing at you with his hand, signaling you to start.

“Oh lord, okay. Um…. she has beautiful eyes-”

“It’s a she! It’s a she!” Jimmy shouted, cutting you off which made you laugh.

“Yes, it’s a she. She has the most adorable button nose, her lips look very kissable..” You blushed as you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I think I know who it is.” Chris muttered, scratching the side of his nose.

“Well, of course you know. I told you.” The audience laughed along with Jimmy and once it died down you continued.

“She has a very very…. captivating accent, she can cook and she just seems very fun to be around, you know?” You happily sighed as everyone around tried to think of who it could be. The internet was going ballistic at the moment. There were tweets, insta posts and even tumblr tags began trending. Some people guessed correctly, others went way off but you were just nervous about her finding out. That she would see the interview and be freaked out or something.

You were backstage at another interview with Chris. The camera was being set up and the interviewer was gathering their questions as you scrolled through Instagram. Many people tagged you in something you haven’t seen before, you received many dms too. When you clicked on it you almost choked on your saliva when you saw it was an insta story Florence had just posted. About you.

people keep saying this is me, i don’t know 🤷🏽‍♀️. if it is i’m deeply honored ❤️

You read it over and over again, not really trusting your eyes in the moment. A notification popped up on your phone, it was a text from your agent.

Just got an offer, it’s amazing. You, Florence, period drama! You’ll play lovers, we have to do this!!

The second you finished reading it, you got a dm message.

florencepugh: hello love! just saw your interview, was it me?

You immediately clicked on it and smiled, realizing it was really her.

y/username: hi! yes it was you… sorry if i offended you or anything. i didn’t mean to

florencepugh: oh darling no, you didn’t offend. actually, no one has ever talked like that about me so thank you for that!

I would love to go out to lunch sometime, when are you free?

Your heart began to beat really fast as you placed your hand on your chest in disbelief. Your crush was asking you out to lunch.

y/username: I’m free tomorrow actually, where do you wanna go?

florencepugh: oh that’s great! you can come to my house. I can cook for us!

y/username: i would love that, thank you! just send me address and i’ll be there ☺️

You stared at your phone for a bit, still not believing what was happening. Florence invited you to her house, to cook for you and have lunch together. It all seemed like a dream. You thought about it for the rest of the day. Feeling ecstatic about the next day.

#florence pugh x reader #florence pugh #florence pugh fluff #florence pugh angst #florence pugh smut #florence pugh imagine

[teenyweenynightghost]

Måneskin Group Chat- Chapter 6

(Ok so now that I fixed the emotional mess that I created I can return to what I do best: chaos and sarcasm<3)

Warnings: Language, photos but not explicit (honestly if you’re browsing THIS side of tumblr ya should be fine)

[Måneskin House] Fri 18:57

D: Why did I just hear Vic scream

T: What?

y/n: He just heard Vic scream

y/n: did you lose your eye sight?

T: Do you have any idea just how suspicious you're acting

Y/n: Oh don't be absurd, I'm just hanging at home with my two Angl-Nubian goats, my perfect and very much alive boyfriend and a dead body

D: A what now

y/n: MY B O Y F R I E N D

y/n: Do i really need to make appointments for you two at the doctor's office? You promised last time that you would do it yourselves

D: Fuck the doctor what do you mean A DEAD BODY

T: A STATEMENT SAID RIGHT AFTER VIC'S SCREAM

y/n: hey remember dami that time she started patting your head while you were sleeping so she could post it on insta

D: OH well then please resume your activities

Y/n: Hm and THomas darling

Y/n: Who loves waking you up by throwing the speaker in your room?

T: A dead body NOw i suppose

Y/n: Glad there are no complaints

V: IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES FOR HER TO WIN YOU OVER

V: YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF VIPERS

D: Yeah but Thomas is the Cobra:D

V: FUCK ALL OF YOU especially YOU Ethan

E: Don't drag me into this

V: no? NO?

D: What did he do

V: Well, let's see, while y/n had me strapped to a chair and looking through my phone laughing her ass off at my clear discomfort, HIS BITCH ASS JUST CAME IN THERE, brushed away her stupid damn hair like 'ewu cuccolina dO yOu WanT SomEthINg to DrInK" ?

V: COMPLETELY IGNORING ME

Y/n: Awww sweetie if you wanted attention you could just ask🙃

V: Oh i'll fucking show you attention

... [cue some time later]

Y/n: Y'all vic has been pretty damn quiet hasn't she

E: NO SHE HAS NOT

D: Oooo whats thAT about

E: Y/n I didn't know you took...pictures

Y/n: oh oho Oh Oh OH OH OH

T: can i not be woken up by screams anymore why in this dirty world did y/n just scream VICTORIAAa as if she was going to kill her

Y/N: OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE HER

[switch to DMs between VicDeAngelis and YN]

Y/n: Oh this is how you wanna play you little shit baby

V: Oh well sweetheart, he's your boyfriend- why would he not enjoy that🙃

Y/n: UGH you know you're the only one who's seen them!

V: Oh believe me, I know that puppy

Y/n: oh you're bringing the puppy thing back now huh

V: Well it always made you blush in the prettiest of places

[Switch to Dms between Edgar and YN]

E: IM SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE

y/n: Nah don't worry

y/n: However Vic on the other side has a LOT to worry about if you know what i mean ;)

E:... threesome?

Y/n: What? No-

Y/n: Oh hold up

E: Im down if you are

Y/n: I might just have an idea

[Switch to DMs between VicDeAngelis and Y/N]

y/n: hey vic, i was trying this new swimsuit on what do you think

V: something is definitely off but im not passing an opportunity of seeing anything ;)

Y/n:

V: you don’t look bad at all puppy;)

y/n: i agree- i also bought this shampoo set which is chocolate scented 

y/n: i literally smell like a dessert

V: i bet you taste like one too

Y/n: well, per ethan’s request, you’re more than welcome to join him in his discovery

V: i’ll be over in 10

... [an impressive amount of time later]

[Måneskin House]

T: which one of you motherfuckers ate all the whipping cream

V: y/n

Y/n: Me? Really? I didn’t even get to taste it

T: 😑

D: what do you me- OOOOOOHOHOHOOHOHOOHOHOH

D: HOOOOO LEEEEEEE FUUUUUUUUCKK

D: OMG  youu kinky little bastards

T: what WHAT

D: ETHAN + VIC + Y/N + WHIPPING CREAM

T: OH MY GOD

T: well fucking finally

Y/n: if one more word is uttered about this matter im deleting the group

E: five

T: five?

D: NO FUCKING WAY HOOOOO

T: OMG Y/N FIVE FUCKING TIMES?

Y/n: I will kill you all, individually, and i will do it so slowly you won’t know whether you’re alive or dead

D: kinky

Y/n: DAMIANO I SWEAR TO GOD

Y/N: fuck this im out- ethan go get me an ice pack

E: of course love

D: Damn even an ice pack

T: I never thought i would say this, but i have never been so happy to be so far away from the comfort of my home

E: Yeah two neighbours already came to complain

V: I had the pleasure of dealing with them

D: That thought alone sends shivers through my spine

V: It should

T: Anyway WHO WANTS PIZZA

Y/N: ME BITCH

T: you would think you wouldn’t be so hungry anymore

Y/n: you got the pizza or no man (spoken in a heavily italian accent)

T: hahaha making fun of our accents now huh

Y/n: nooo, me? im a good vagazza

T: OOO we ave imitating edgav now ave we

E: how about no

D: ok so how about someone actually goes and gets the pizza

T: i already ordered it

V: i love how we’re all in the same house yet we aren’t making any efforts of actually talking

y/n: talking is overrated

T: Pizza is hereee

(cue 5 people now transformed into monkeys running to be the first ones there, so that they may remove the little table from the centre of the pizza)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I swear i didn’t mean to make it dirty, however my hormones are currently on a rollercoaster and that one comment i saw about doing an ethan x reader x vic thing just stayed in my head

Anyway, im gonna try and make a few more chapters today, please send me an ask if you want anything in particular to go down or if you want to be added to my tag list

until then, ciao dearies

@fuckim-so-gay​ @ginny-lily​

#victoria de angelis #damiano david #thomas raggi #ethan torchio #maneskin #måneskin #what the hell even is this

[maxwell-grant]

For the Character Ask: I'm going to go with Ryu (The Shadow would be too easy)

Allright then! Definitely got some thoughts on the Street Fighter characters for this one

1: Don't treat Ryu like he's a superhero, let him get his ass kicked for real every now and then, let him WORK for his victories. And I don't mean "oh the bad guy roughs him up a bit but then he comes back with a insta-win special move", I mean it like how the Street Fighter II V anime opens up with Ryu and Ken getting the absolute shit kicked out of them by Guile, and that's the initial impetus for the two of them to try and improve more as martial artists.

Capcom seems to have far less reservations about letting characters like Ken and Chun-Li lose fights or get beaten badly compared to Ryu, which is kinda backwards considering that, if Ryu's the protagonist of these stories, and these are stories about fighting and action and overcoming the odds through battle, we should ideally be much more invested in how our protagonist is gonna overcome them. The Udon comics in particular treat a lot of the Street Fighter characters like superheroes who can insta-win battles with special moves and this is part of why I think they are terribly weak and uninteresting, it's the last thing you want to do for a franchise where the selling point is watching interesting characters fight in interesting ways. Which also brings me to number 2:

2: Have Ryu grow as a fighter in ways other than just giving him new cartoon superpowers / have him tame the Dark Hadou for the 100th time.

SF has, for a while, been doing this really great thing with Akuma where the techniques he shows off in his ending cutscenes show up in the following games as Super moves, like the punch he uses to shatter Ayers Rock in 2nd Impact became a Super in Third Strike, and the Hurricane Kick he used to destroy a sea vessel in his Third Strike ending became an Ultra move in SSFIV, and so forth. I always thought this was a really brilliant, inspired decision that allows for a sense of genuine progression, and I think it's an idea that would benefit Ryu much more so as a character.

Give him new techniques, have him invent new techniques, have him live up to the idea that he's a martial arts prodigy who in his first tournament defeated the world's greatest fighter with an unbeatable uppercut (yes he lost that fight and won with a superpowered possession-induced cheap shot, but the world doesn't know that) and then introduced the concept of fireballs to the scene, both of which are techniques everyone's using or developed defenses to by now, so he's gotta find ways to stay on top of the game.

3: Kill the idea that Ryu's an "honorable warrior" cliche, he's a guy living out of a duffelbag who, despite being a world-famous champion, chooses to be a homeless wanderer always on the lookout for a good fight and making a lot of weird friends along the way. It shouldn't be hard to make this character likeable or funny.

I think not a lot of Street Fighter fans even particularly think of Ryu as likeable but he really is, I think a Street Fighter story with him as the lead would stand to benefit from emphasizing that, all things considered, Ryu's got a great attitude when he's not distancing himself to fight with soul-rending inner torment or body-stealing dictators (and sometimes even then). In V even, one of Ryu's lines if you hit him particularly hard is a pained "Nice hit!", he's genuinely complementing you for kicking his ass. If any of this showed up more prominently in a Street Fighter film or cartoon, he's the kind of character Tumblr would be affectionately calling a himbo in no time flat (yeah I know, Tumblr calls every character who's beefy and kind a himbo, not my point).

Ryu's not some champion of justice or lone wolf, everyone who jokingly describes Ryu as a fight hobo is 100% right and this is not a dismissal, Capcom's not ironic about it, it's just what he is and that's one thing that helps to set Ryu apart from standard karateka protagonists. Ryu's not stern or humorless, he's focused and driven, and the two being treated like one and the same is a particularly annoying cliche in how Western media approaches Eastern martial arts protagonists. You can have a character who’s philosophical, determined, even aloof and lonely, without making them devoid of humor and wit and charm.

And that leads to my next point,

4: Ryu has a life outside of fighting, even if he doesn't think he does.

One of the things I really liked reading most in my obsessive quests for every scrap of Street Fighter lore was finding the details that were usually left out of the cutscenes or games and only brought up in guides or blurbs and whatnot, things that added texture and depth and details to the lives these characters had outside of the ring. I consistently really liked reading Ryu's because they would describe things Ryu would do just on a daily basis.

Details like, the reason why he dislikes spiders is because one day he woke up with one in his mouth, or how he uses Hadoken to catch fish as part of his diet. Ryu trekking through forests, waterfalls, old temples, roads, cities, and the fact that he canonically walks everywhere because he hates flying and can't afford it anyway. Ryu making enough money to get by via taking in odd jobs with physical labor. An Alpha 3 backstory blurb that describes Ryu stopping to talk down with a painter on his way to pay respects to Gouken. Or scenes where Ryu gets to interact with characters outside of his usual circle, like that ending where he eats burgers with Birdie following their fight.

Sure, Ryu's all focused on the fight, and Street Fighter's gotta have it's fights, but there's a world of stuff that happens in someone's life even when they are laser focused on only one specific part of it (which is a lesson I need to remember more often). I've always been fascinated by the parts of the lives of wandering protagonists that don't get the spotlight because they are not action-packed, quiet moments of survival or misery or joy that they go through alone or with others. I would like to read more of these.

5: If Ryu's the center of the story, he needs to grow with the story. He needs to be allowed to grow up and change.

Ryu is locked in a generally static mold as the iconic face of the franchise, even in V when other characters were finally allowed to evolve and change their designs or characterizations, like Ken or Balrog or Dhalsim, which is definitely a step in the right direction compared to SFIV. And to an extent it's understandable why Ryu's not likely to change much if at all, considering the popularity of said changes isn't exactly guaranteed. But, here's something: There already was a change to Ryu's presentation in recent years that got so popular, that Capcom ended up approving it and officializing it.

And yes, I'm talking about Hot Ryu.

Hot Ryu was, before the memes about Ryu in Fortnite, maybe the most attention I'd ever seen directed towards Ryu, and Ryu specifically, in my lifetime. And I want you to put whatever thoughts you have on the nature of what exactly people were talking about here to look at what was happening regardless: People were talking about Ryu, Ryu's design, what they wanted Ryu to look like, if they wanted this to be his main design going forward (and a lot of people seemed to want this), people were discussing Ryu. It's not like Capcom set out to intentionally create Hot Ryu, all they did was take off Ryu's shirt, rough his clothes a bit, give him a beard and call it a day, but even just this basic shake-up of Ryu's presentation was enough for a lot of people to look at Ryu differently.

A basic shake-up was the same thing Capcom did for some of the other characters in V. And while some were very poorly received (Akuma in particular), others paid off so well (Dhalsim, Balrog, even Mall Cop Guile surprisingly) that few seem to miss the classic designs. That Capcom is willing to do these alterations to the designs at all is already a major difference than how the characters were approached for SFIV, and the idea of tweaking Ryu somewhat to better reflect a different, growing facet of his character? Risky as it may sounds, even if unintentionally so, they already did a trial run for this that paid off better than they could have predicted. 

So yeah, I think Hot Ryu was a great thing, and I think Ryu being allowed to progress and change, as he’s done in other Street Fighter media in the past (the Nakahira mangas, SF II V), could be a really good thing. 

#replies tag #street fighter #capcom #videogames #ryu

[msgrumpygills]

Social Media Anon Here!

Firstly, never change Grumpy ;) you are probably the only person on Tumblr to LISTEN to another view and let it change a prejudice.

Secondly, the Padagram/Social Media change bus continues. Don't be fooled people will be looking at positive and negative reactions to that change on social media.

So here goes!

1. They are starting to market season 2 of Walker in Hiatus. That really doesn't happen. That means they know they need to target new viewers. They are acknowledging they have a problem. The main problem is Jared either didn't learn enough about production quality on SPN (Jensen/Misha were both more interested in behind the camera's) or that he thought he could stick a Stetson on and we all had such sh1t for brains we'd watch anything. So they need a viewer boost DESPARATELY and are going all out to (a) persuade Walkers remaining viewer(s) that it's worth sticking around and (b) get back old viewers or convert 1m+ viewers to season 2. So now we see all the cast (and Keegan has more followers than Jared and Lindsay has a VERY engaged following) trying to persuade their followers how fabulous Walker is. Expect this scrabbling to continue if they want their COVID paychecks.

2. Connected to 1, Jared has started trying to break out of the fandom bubble. I don't think he's trying for power couple (the clue in a power couple is that two FAMOUS people get together and create a super brand, here we have one niche C famous guy and a hanger on wife), I think we are in Jared profile raising and trying to raise his recognition score, which is probably a little low having half assed it in the last year and a half. He's doing it by scatter-gunning so I'm not sure it's going to stick.

3. Connected to 2,

(i) if I run my algorithm clean laptop with a "Jared Padalecki" news search, I get (a) a daily mail article on Jared "clarifying the rift" (b) a "hello" magazine saying he's been "inundated with support after death of "family member"" (c) the new york times article on Walker and Supernatural. It then goes into a variety of articles about Jared raising money for Holly's family (fucking atrocious in my view to use her death for publicity) and a series of derivative articles on his mantrum and later explanation. ONLY THE NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE MENTIONS WALKER other than as a throw away, all of the others link to Supernatural only. Walker isn't on the main radar of anyone as a show. It's not mainstream enough to mention. it has ZERO buzz.

(ii) if I run the same search on my compromised tablet, I get a SEA of fluff articles "jared padalecki goes to venice", "jared padalecki's wife wishes him a happy birthday" "jared padalecki goes to watch soccer" "jared padalecki goes to the wrestling". I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow.

At the end of that I get the same articles as in (i) but the majority of his publicity is still going through the fandom and the, not very viewed, endless zine type websites that update on every episode of every geek show every day.

So we are seeing, and I expect it to continue, a break out Padalecki, (who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films), and a fluff Padalecki, trying to stay relevant a year after SPN relevance ended, because he hasn't got the same push for season 2 of Walker as he had for season 1 and Walker has zero presence. No one, not even the fans are talking about Walker.

Will it work? I don't think so. Keegan has 7m followers on Insta and that's because he's a photographer and writer and it's interesting. I would follow his account (I don't), but certainly it isn't a Walker instagram.

Jared is a clever guy, but he's boring on social media. He has a limited appeal. He does family snaps, hunk snaps, flogs orange pee and flogs his show. He says "family" and "mantra" a lot but that's really it. The clue is, if you didn't know who he was and came across his instagram you wouldn't follow him. Why would you? For a video of a guy running up steps? A smug picture of two middle aged men trying to flog you something?... (oh and lots of "brother" comments on Keegan's social media, which is irritating. It's like he thinks that is his repeatable formula and it isn't).

His media approach won't work because advertising and exposure pushes a product. In TV's case, it's not a one off product and there is a lot of competition. Product Jared needs to be more interesting (his mantrum's are the only exciting thing about him - and that is tragic) and his TV show just needs to be BETTER, well, a LOT BETTER.

Soooo, expect the Padapush to continue, but it's not about a couple, it's about individual marketing and for Jared breaking out of SPN bubble. For Gen, it's her tag along profile that she'll never break out of. She'll have to be satisfied with her superpower of being able to persuade people to buy toothbrush's and dog food (if she can).

Expect though the couple's bit to die off a little. Jared is getting over exposed. His engagement rating is plummeting (nearly 3% is a plummet) because of the repetitive photo content. He'll have to back off or people will switch off (I have already). What makes me laugh is.... from the dawn of time when cavemen took their wives 2 miles away for a new cave weekend.... NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN INTERESTED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOLIDAY SNAPS.... Gen and Jared apparently need to learn that lesson...

I might stop these posts now because, well, it's gotta be a bit boring for you and I write LONG. :)

Stay safe and wear your masks ;) xxx

I don’t want you to ever ever change, lovely! Also, I’m NEVER bored by your messages! You put so much effort into the research you do and the messages you send and it’s appreciated! <3 

I started following Lindsey on IG because she seems pretty genuine, and her cat is way too cute! Plus, I like her attitude. I haven’t followed her for the whole Walker season, but even she doesn’t post a lot about it. She posts interviews and then posts about that night’s episode, but other than that, nothing.  Can’t speak for Keegan, but how are fans and non-fans supposed to be excited about a show when the people STARRING in the show can’t be bothered? Maybe they’re all aware of how shitty it is or maybe they’re lazy, but it doesn’t make sense. 

I’m always interested to see the difference in an “algorithm-free” setting and one that has an algorithm. I always figured Google was the same for everyone, but seeing the difference in articles you’ve outlined is insane. It really just goes to show that Jared isn’t the star that his stans think he is. He’s not as important as they think he is, he’s just an actor.  It’s even more jarring to see just how little Walker is talked about at all. All of my devices probably have been “contaminated” when it comes to algorithm so I can’t really speak personally about the public and fans talking about Walker or not talking about it. I can say that on the posts about Walker from the Supernatural Facebook page, a good chunk of the comments are people saying they stopped watching, never got into it, or thought it was trash. There are only a handful of comments talking about how they enjoy the show. 

I think it was disgusting for him to use a fan’s passing for publicity. And no, I don’t think it was anything other than a PR stunt. Her family had a GFM going that was promoted by plenty of the case INCLUDING GEN, so you know he knew about it. But for him to make his own special one and then have articles posted everywhere about how charitable he is? That’s gross PR bullshit and I hope it backfires. 

I still follow a few Supernatural fans, Jared fans, Jensen fans, etc. on Tumblr and even they aren’t mentioning it. I think maybe the hardcore Jared stans post gifsets or whatever, but I don’t see much praise for the show itself, just Jared’s looks. Even the fans aren’t biting and that would make me reevaluate everything if I was Jared. 

I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow. This made me laugh way too hard!

who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films You are on a ROLL!  Maybe I’ve become biased, but I can’t see Jared doing films. I mean, I could see him doing like a side character role or something small, but I can’t see him having a big part of a movie. Like I said, maybe that’s me being biased but I see him staying in TV. I could be proven wrong, but I don’t know. 

I agree about Jared being boring on SM. I used to get some giggles from his Twitter posts and even some of his early IG posts because they were goofy, clever, and candid. It showed his humor and was more personable. Now it’s just all fake and comes off as someone whose only motivation to engage with fans is money and that’s a big turn off. 

For me personally, I think that if instead of the “couple goals” bullshit that they try to push for their lavish trips, if they just posted cool pictures they took of different locations, activities, food or whatever, that would be more palatable than all the “Look at my hubster and I! We’re in Italy! Look at how in love we are!” But maybe that’s because I’ve become a bit of a photography nerd? 

I guess time will tell whether or not Jared will make positive changes and if Walker can be saved, but I’m not really optimistic about it. 

I AM optimistic about your takes on things so keep them coming! Long posts or not, I love them! <3

#grumpy answers #social media anon #anti jared padalecki #anti walker

[spideypoolbigbang]

SPBB 2020 Masterlist

Title: All Cats are Grey in the Dark 

 Author: mayatheyellowbee 

 Artist: Cheermione 

 Rating: Explicit 

 Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence 

 Word Count: 28,511 

Summary: Peter is a Witcher, hired to kill Deadpool, another monster hunter gone rogue. But when he meets his target, he realizes there is more behind Deadpool’s recent killing spree than what he’s been led to believe. Despite their diverging opinions on the subject of murder, they have to put their differences aside to face a monster far worse - and more human - than any they’ve ever fought before.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: The Past, the Present, and the (im)Possible Future

Author: Jennicide — AO3 and Tumblr

Artist: WaterMe — AO3 and Tumblr

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 44,833

Summary: Peter B. Parker drops back into his crapshoot reality after a little detour to an alternate universe. He thinks he might have finally figured out how to make it work again with MJ, but he forgets that there’s still that infamous ‘Parker Luck’ to contend with. (Un)Fortunately for him, there’s a totally available Deadpool on his side of the multiverse who’s been waiting years for a chance to pick him up!

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: A Year in the Gallery

Author: Princess_Breetlejuice

Artist: TheLazyDrawer

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Word Count: 43,579

Summary: Wade is kidnapped by a strange man who has a very peculiar job offer. While he’s skeptical, the man promises to compensate Wade very generously for the use of his body. Sounds [sketch], but Wade is all for easy money, and it’s not like he has anything better to do right now.

And really, what’s the worst that can happen?

(Or: Peter is an immortal sex demon with a penchant for sadism, and Wade is about to learn he can endure unimaginable agony with a smile.)

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Anchored 

Author: @jolinarjackson​

Artist: @violettavonviolet 

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Implied/referenced homicide, implied/referenced character death 

Word Count: 34,999

Summary: In a world in which Empaths are common and their gifts considered useful, Peter, as an Empath, is an outsider because his gift is irreversibly broken. Unable to initiate physical contact with anyone, Peter lives isolated and is forced to keep the few people in his life at a distance. His only escape is going out on patrol as Spider-Man and the friendship he developed with Deadpool as his alter ego. Peter’s life changes dramatically when he and Deadpool accidentally touch, resulting in an unexpected Empathic bond that goes against everything Peter knows about his Broken Empathy. While trying to figure out what exactly is going on between them, Peter and Wade also join forces to stop a serial killer who seems to have taken up residence in New York, unaware that Spider-Man is one of his intended targets.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: When We’re 40

Author: doctoring (AO3)

Artist: Chez (Tumblr)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No AO3 Warnings Apply

Word Count: 61,241

Summary: Peter B. Parker returns from the multiverse to find out that Mary Jane has moved on and is engaged to be married. Feeling that he’s been left behind in life, Peter agrees to a marriage pact with Wade, mainly just to get his dinner back that Wade’s been holding hostage. The deal sets the two men off on a year-long journey of navigating their feelings for each other and what a ‘significant other’ really means. Eventually, they both realize that they don’t want just a silly little marriage pact, but something more real and meaningful with each other. Too bad they’re not the best with admitting their feelings.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Sympathy for the Hurricane

Author: meinposhbastard (AO3, tumblr)

Artist: thatbanananana (tumblr)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 27,702

Summary: Peter has never been more scared in his entire life. He’s on the run, and the last place he should take refuge in is the Trenches, the deepest and most dangerous place of the Atlantic Ocean. But he’s desperate. If they catch him, it will be the end of him. The Monster of the Trenches is a creature that has been in numerous wars and has lived for a thousand years (or so the folk tales say). Peter has grown up with them, among others; this monster is that old. So Peter expects something big and formless and dark and maybe hungry for siren flesh. What Peter finds is a merman full of scars, a tragic past befitting them, and kindness.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Don’t You Dare Forget the Sun

Author: Klaus

Artist: Zet

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Major Character Death, Angst, torture, blood and gore, experimentation, psychological torture, established relationship, canon typical violence and language.

Word Count: 12,382

Summary:

“Cold white walls, keep you from your pad and pen 

You just wanna stab again 

I can’t believe it’s half this hard You never knew your mind was dark, no!“ 

Peter Parker, self-proclaimed superhero and honestly a nice guy, finds himself locked within the confines of a top-secret definitely not legal medical facility. Maybe it was the kicks to his head, or possibly the chains that kept him hogtied in the back of the vehicle, or even the horrible experimentation was done to his body but something tells him that he is in a No Good Very Bad Place. 

Not that he can really feel much of the pain anymore. He didn’t realize he was falling perfectly in place for these doctors’ nefarious plans and now he can’t think much of anything anymore. He’s following orders. He’s here for Shield, right? The doctors tell him he’s doing good. He’s amazing. He’s Their perfect soldier and Peter can’t help but say yes to everything asked of him.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Your Friendly Neighbourhood Deadpool

Author: Nimohtar ( AO3 | Tumblr )

Artist: Princesseellie3 ( Instagram | Tumblr )

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Major Warnings Apply.

Word Count: 42,873

Summary: When Aunt May moves to the small town of Berry Hill, MA for a new job, Peter doesn’t anticipate things will change too much in his own life. That is, until he meets the town’s self-proclaimed leather-wearing, katana-wielding local hero, a.k.a Your Friendly Neighbourhood Deadpool…

A story told in snapshots of holidays, where strangers become friends, and then something more.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: To You

Co-Authors: AnGoose — AO3 and Tumblr; Y_ellow — AO3 and Tumblr

Artist: PastaPapi — AO3 and Twitter and Tumblr

Betas: Atem — AO3 and Tumblr; Water — AO3 and Tumblr

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 13,653

Summary: Deadpool’s quest to make best friends with Spider-Man is a strange and convoluted thing, made all the more complicated by the letters he keeps finding in his safehouse. They’re all addressed to “Ben, Love Peter.” And they’re all just a little too on the nose regarding Spidey’s personal problem of the month. Wade isn’t going to say no to a little extra insight into how to woo his very best Spider-Friend, though.

Or, five times someone mistakes Wade’s crummiest safehouse as a post office, and one time Wade plays the sexy-mailman part in this (emotional) porno and hand delivers a letter to Spider-Man.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Lost in a Shadow of You

Author: @lunastories​ (AO3)

Artist: @ah-geee​

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Major Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 34,514

Summary: Peter always suspected he’d be a shitty fisherman, but after some rather unfortunate events in New York force him to be a recluse in a secluded coastal town, he can say for certain he sucks at this. Fortunately for him, the resident cryptid, one Siren known as Wade Wilson, is around to save him from himself. Misunderstandings and shenanigans ensue when Peter’s ‘thank you for saving my life’ gifts are mistaken as ‘please have babies with me’ courting gifts by the Siren. Only time (and some low-key therapy) will decide if they figure their shit out.

This is a story of two monsters who despite all the odds, find a home in each other.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost 1, 2

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Title: Heatwave

Author: TimidTurnip [Ao3 | Tumblr]

Artist: VictoryThorn [Instagram | Tumblr]

Rating: E

Warnings: No Major Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 16,911K

Summary: Peter can handle anything life decides to throw his way. He didn’t freak out at all when Wade professed his love, the heat wave isn’t turning him into a puddle of goo and he’s totally got a firm grasp on his finances. And Wade… he just wants to know why Peter won’t date him, even if he has to push a few boundaries to find out.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Snippets Through Time

Author: Lalapaya | Tumblr: @manyfandomsnotime​

Artist: 343EnderSpark | Tumblr: @343EnderSpark

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 9,668

Summary: Peter Parker has to face the normal tumultuous daily routine of being the only child of a famous billionaire philanthropist and a historic icon. The one to help him through this is his best friend and partner in crime Wade Wilson. But what to do if this said friend suddenly becomes the target of affection?

A few excerpts of Peter Parker’s life growing up with Wade Wilson as his best friend and Iron Man and Captain America as his fathers.

Fic Masterpost  | Art Masterpost

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Title: Nothing Gold Can Stay

Author: cheekysstyles (tumblr)

Artist: aquamerryne (insta)

Rating: M

Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Word Count: 30k

Summary: A year and a half ago, sixteen year old gymnastics prodigy Peter Parker left in the middle of the World Championship competition, costing Team USA a chance at a medal. After one too many run-ins with the law, Peter gets an ultimatum: return to the sport he left behind or end up in juvenile detention.

When he arrives at X-Force Gymnastics, an elite gym owned by Wade Wilson, Peter is unprepared to rediscover his love for the sport and to confront the very thing that made him quit in the first place.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: A Mate Most Begrudging 

 Author: Vixen13 (Twitter) 

 Artist: Gensyz 

Rating: Explicit 

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply 

Word Count: 46,189

Summary: It’s the height of the Gilded Age in America where everyone is searching for a new life and a new fortune from booming industry to the colonization of the wild frontier. Wade Wilson is a disgraced alpha trapped in the in-between of east and west, high society and labor, recluse and shunned. Though he’s convinced himself that he’s just fine on his own, others are more than happy to meddle in his perfectly quiet life before he loses his grip on reality more than he already has.

Peter Parker is a down on his luck omega who needs money fast. Knowing that laying tracks is a quick ticket to a short life, he let himself be talked into joining the mail order omega program. He’s careful about the alpha he chooses and determined to carve out a life for himself with a handsome stranger. But the shock of his alpha’s appearance is nothing compared to the slamming of the door in his face as Wade declares he has no intention of mating with anyone, especially not some gold-digging omega tart.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Three Steps to Inferno

Author: @waterme-stories (Ao3)

Artist: @atemy (Ao3)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Word Count: 31,399k

Summary: On August 26th, 1934, Gwen Stacy brushed past the doorman at the Ritz-Carlton, walked into the dining room, and set herself on fire.

With the city plunged into pandemonium, I didn’t think twice before I hit the pavement: both as private eye Peter Benjamin Parker, and behind the scenes as The Spider, New York City’s most notorious vigilante. The criminal underworld cowered at the sound of my name and the shadow of my webs — but there were some parts of the Big Apple’s seedy underbelly that I couldn’t begin to imagine…

(A Spideypool Noir Mystery)

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Mutable Materials 

Author: @ciceqi (AO3) 

Artist: @nhrive (AO3) 

Rating: Mature 

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply; warnings for Temporary Character Death, Suicide, Insectophobia 

Word Count: 12,853

Summary: Ever since the field trip that hijacked everything from Peter’s genetic profile to his daemon’s shape, he’s had to hide his entirely-too-recognizable daemon from the world.  He doesn’t expect to come across a man with an embarrassment of daemons, or maybe…no daemon at all.  Is Deadpool as delusional as everyone thinks?  He’s certainly been helpful, but how long can that last if his reality hinges on the existence of a daemon no one’s seen in years? 

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Author: @mscaptainwinchester​

Artist: cottonclover

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Canonical Character Death, Physical Abuse (Alluded To), Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Word Count: 21,551

Summary: This is the Disney Cinderella AU no one asked for. In a faraway kingdom, in a comfortable cottage in a comfortable village, Peter Parker grew up with two wonderful parents who loved him very much. And then those parents died, and he was left to life with his stepmother Liv, and her two terrible children, Jessica and Eugene. His happy home turned into an unhappy life of servitude with no end in sight.

An invitation to a Royal Ball reminds Peter of a long-dead wish to see the palace his mother told him stories of, and he becomes determined to attend despite the protests of his miserable family. With the help of his new fairy godmother, a little bit of magic, and a whole lot of hard work, his dreams of visiting the palace and finding his very own Prince Charming will come true. Or will they?*

*They totally will. What kind of Cinderella story do you think this is?

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Thanks for the Memories

Author: Actionpackedlips

Artist: Moemai

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Sexual Content, Canon Divergence

Word Count: 50,461

Summary: What if Mysterio never outed Peter?

Deadpool comes back from a mission to find his favorite Spider-Man, his only Spider-Man, the boxes so helpfully remind him, missing. Specifically, kidnapped. Mysterio’s remaining crew were brimming with the need for revenge after their leader’s death, and so they vowed to use updated B.A.R.F tech to learn Spider-Man’s specific superpowers in order to harness it for themselves; another failed attempt to continue Mysterio’s grandiose plans of becoming the best superhero ever. With the help of the Avengers Peter is found, connected to a device not even Tony has full comprehension of.

Deadpool valiantly volunteers to be hooked up; death was a regularly scheduled program for him, after all. He’d guide Spider-Man to a subconscious level that was safe to be extracted from, and (total bonus!) hopefully win his favor as Spidey’s knight in shiny leather! But once Deadpool enters, his deepest, darkest, repressed memories are on display for him and his friendly neighborhood spider to see. Deadpool fears not only what Spider-Man will think of him after it all, after everything he sees, but just what he’ll have to relive in order to rescue the man who not-so-secretly holds his heart.

Fic Masterpost  |  Art Masterpost

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Title: Paradise Awaits

Author: bisexualbarry

Artist: doctoring

Rating: Mature

Warnings: canon typical violence, minor character death

Word Count: 32k

Summary: “For those who prove worthy, paradise awaits…”

Fifteen years after assuming his childhood best friend died, jaded treasure hunter Peter Parker comes out of an early retirement when Wade Wilson comes back into his life. Now fully scarred and clearly hiding secrets, Wade drags Peter back into the thrill of searching for legendary pirate Captain Henry Avery’s lost treasure.

Fighting for their life from the Shoreline mercenaries chasing after them, Peter and Wade continue the dangerous search of a pirate treasure worth 400 million, at least. It’s too bad their ex-partner, Harry Osborn, wants them dead to take the treasure all for himself.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Ducks!

Author(s): Devral

Artist: LordAvon

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 7,994

Summary: After a fight with Peter, Wade goes stomping through Central Park. He stumbles upon something extremely unexpected. He’s not ready to be a mama!

Fic Masterpost |  Art Masterpost

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Title: Puppy ex Machina

Author: riseofthefallenone ( Tumblr | Ao3 )

Artist: Jennicide ( Tumblr | Ao3 )

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 83,044

Summary: A year after his divorce, Peter is trapped in a depressive cycle and still not quite over Mary Jane. When she shows up at his door, begging him to watch her dog for a week while she leaves town, he can’t really bring himself to say “no”. No one was expecting that little Pomeranian to turn his life around and help him realize that his friendship with Wade has been teetering on the edge of something more for a while.

Fic Masterpost  | Art Masterpost

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Title: The Fourth Wall

Author: RansomNotes (Ao3)

Artist: thelazyartist (Ao3)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 13k

Summary: Between college and his side jobs and his alter-ego, Peter barely has the time to sleep at his apartment, let alone spend any time hanging out there, which works out since it’s a cheap and empty and depressing apartment, now that he and Ned aren’t roommates on-campus anymore. So hearing his rude loudmouth neighbor through the wall all the time shouldn’t matter much, except it’s classic Parker to somehow make friends with the crazy guy next door, to the point he’s actually sad to leave his crummy apartment. But Peter seems to have a real penchant for bad company, since he’s spending all his free time with someone he’s never seen, only heard through the wall, and spending most of his patrolling time with someone else crazy, since Deadpool showed up recently and somehow monopolized his time as Spider-Man. It’s probably just a phase. Everybody goes through a fall-catastrophically-hard-for-separate-but-unavailable-people phase, right?

Fic Masterpost  |  Art Masterpost

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Title: In Which Peter Finds Hope

Author: ladyamante (AO3)

Artist: Areon (tumblr)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, sexual content, Past child abuse

Word Count: 62,245

Summary: Peter just wants to relax after last year. He hit a rough patch, and Deadpool helped him get through the worst of it. After identity reveals, therapy, and a few explosions, things have finally started to settle down for them both.

But just as Peter’s getting into the swing of things, a strange man with a metal arm shows up claiming to be a time-traveller. He says Peter is the only one who can help him save mutant kind.

Peter finds himself pulled from his home and dragged through different dimensions as he and Cable search for the key to their survival. Meanwhile, they keep running into different versions of Peter’s boyfriend. It seems that everything connects back to Wade. Cable thinks it’s just a coincidence, but Peter is sure there’s a deeper reason behind it all.

Fic Masterpost  | Art Masterpost

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Title: Whether By Accident or By Design 

Author: crookedswingset 

Artist: thelonebamf 

Rating: Explicit 

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Temporary Major Character Death (Wade), Sexual Content, Cannibalistic Symbiotes, Blood and Injury, Secret Identity, Body Horror

Word Count: 188K 

Summary: Peter is about to graduate college and become an officially licensed Pro Hero. Too bad he’s already burnt out. Years of operating as an illegal vigilante with a supposedly subpar Quirk will do that to you. But just as he’s about to quit altogether, he meets actual Pro Hero Deadpool, a reformed villain who works hard to make sure others don’t follow in his footsteps. Despite this achievement, Wade’s just as jaded as he is and has completely given up on making things better.

As their relationship deepens, Peter realizes he is not quite ready to give up on being a Pro Hero, a resolve that is tested when a new Pro Hero agency comes to town and takes over. The so-called “Guard” is a group of four eight-foot men with eerily similar Quirks—and they have no intention of making nice with New York City’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

#spideypool #spideypool big bang 2020 #spbb 2020 #spbb masterpost #mod post

[andipxndy-writes]

the coffee shop

fandom: alex rider warnings: none requested by: @zixylixy word count: 9.8k

cross-posted to ao3

summary: You knew you should've stayed in bed the moment your coffee went all over your front. Still... that meant you met someone unique, someone different. Someone who was becoming special to you. And if you were being completely honest, now that you were thinking back on it, you wouldn't have it any other way.​

the coffee shop

You knew you should’ve stayed in bed that morning the moment your coffee went all over your front.

To be fair, up until that point your morning hadn’t gone too badly. You’d woken up, been tempted to stay in bed for a few hours longer, and then realised you had emails to answer and paperwork to do for work. Granted, you were working from home, so there was no rush to actually complete the work you’d been assigned until the end of the working day, but it was nice to get it all done in the morning. Then the rest of your day was free.

And that was what ended up happening. As soon as you’d got up and ready for the day, you managed to get your work done pretty quickly. All it took was a handful of hours of properly focusing, and you could get everything you needed to do done quickly enough.

Plenty of time for you to do things for yourself.

Of course, doing things for yourself wasn’t the first thing that came to mind when you finished work for the day. First of all there was the dishes (which took all of five minutes), and then the washing (which took a little longer, but you had that all in in half an hour), and then there was the general cleaning of the house that you hadn’t managed to get to last weekend (which definitely took closer to a couple of hours, maybe more). By the time you were done with all of that, it was the middle of the afternoon.

You thought it was about time to actually treat yourself.

So at about three in the afternoon, you had your little backpack packed with your notebook, laptop and a book, ready to keep yourself entertained with a coffee at your favourite local coffee shop. Just to wind down, maybe get back into that reading and writing groove again.

Except, when you got to your favourite local coffee shop, it was filled. Somehow, and you didn’t know how, the place had become everyone’s favourite place to visit in the late afternoon. Which meant that you couldn’t find anywhere to sit. In fact, the knowledge that someone was sitting in your favourite spot on their own and was casually scrolling through their phone was what irked you the most, and it made you very hesitant to leave the place. A small part of you even wanted to kick them out of the seat. But it was crammed, and you didn’t particularly like being around so many people anyway.

So you left. You knew where the nearest Starbucks was, and you also knew that it wasn’t too far to get to, so it would have to do. For once.

(Last time you’d gone there, with the absolute crowding and mess that went on there, you vowed to never go again. But the nearest Costa was too far to walk and the nearest Cafe Nero was even further. So it would have to do.)

As you got your coffee, you had to mentally remind yourself that just because Starbucks was mainstream didn’t mean that the coffee was any worse than what you usually got at your favourite spot. Perhaps the baristas here were decent, and the coffee had to be drinkable for people to regularly get drinks there.

When you took your coffee and sipped on it, your brain and taste buds helpfully reminded you that the coffee was worse, and tasted pretty cheap and generic, but you were going to have to deal. Because the next best places were further out and you couldn’t be bothered to walk that far.

The only other downside to Starbucks was because it was so popular and so mainstream, it also didn’t have any space for you to sit. Luckily, you were less bothered about this, and had been prepared for such an eventuality, so you were heading out to go to the local park – there were some picnic benches there that you could sit on and use to relax whilst you had your coffee, and the day was nice enough that it made sitting outside with your hot beverage and a good book worth it.

Your plans were ruined the moment you stepped through the open doorway.

“Hey!” you cried as your cup smacked into your front and emptied out over your jumper and jeans. As much as you didn’t care about the coffee, you did care about what you were wearing. You just so happened to be wearing your favourite outfit that day.

You were not impressed.

“Hey, I–oh my god I’m so sorry.”

The person who had crashed into you was tall, with fair hair and plain brown eyes. There was nothing particularly remarkable about him, really. Apart from his sharp jawline. And handsome features.

Nope, nothing remarkable about him at all.

Shaking out your hands to get off the hot coffee before trying to peel your clothing from your skin so that it didn’t keep burning you, you huffed, scowling. One small part of your brain decided to remind you that you were glad to be rid of that horrible coffee, but you hadn’t exactly wanted it on you instead.

“I’m so sorry, let me buy you another coffee.”

You looked up at him and raised an eyebrow at the offer. You were currently covered in coffee, sticky and wet, and standing on the pavement in front of your least-favourite coffee shop.

Another coffee wasn’t going to cut it, and you made sure your face said exactly that.

“I need to change,” you muttered, more to yourself than the man in front of you as you looked back at your clothes. “This was my fave… god, I need to do another wash…”

You spared the man a glance out of the corner of your eye. The guy looked a little awkward now, hearing you ramble to yourself, and a small part of you was satisfied in knowing you’d made a grown man feel awkward about not watching where he was going. You didn’t tend to do that often, but when you did it was incredibly satisfying.

“I’m sorry, truly. I’ll buy you another jumper. And a coffee.”

Another jumper and a coffee? Was this man desperate for your forgiveness or something? You looked up at him properly, narrowing your eyes at him.

He offered a nervous smile in return.

The smile melted your scowl.

“I’ll take the coffee,” you mumbled in response, giving a sigh of resignation. “But after I’ve changed, god. I’m not sitting around in coffee-stained clothes.” Your clothes felt hot now, but they were definitely going to get colder and stickier, and that was going to get very uncomfortable. Before he could speak again, you held up a hand to silence him. “I live a ten minute walk away. You can wait for me right here. Right here. Don’t move.”

You didn’t realise how serious the guy was about getting you coffee (and a new jumper, you supposed) when, after you returned in a fresh change of clothes, he was still standing right there waiting for you.

***

There were a few things you learned from that coffee you had with the guy who’d crashed into you. Firstly, and most importantly, you found out that he wasn’t a fan of Starbucks either, and somehow managed to get you both into your favourite coffee shop when you told him about the spot. With seats in your favourite spot.

He’d laughed when you vowed to love him forever.

The second thing you learned was that his name was Alex. You introduced yourself too, of course, but he seemed more than a little reluctant to tell you his surname. You didn’t mind, of course, but that meant that you insisted on being given the same courtesy – first names only, no surnames allowed. And from the way he nodded, it seemed to be a good enough agreement for him.

The third thing you learnt was that Alex was actually single, and had been on his way to meet someone when he’d crashed into you. He then insisted that your impromptu “date” was a lot better than what he’d originally planned to go to. It made you curious about the person he’d been going to meet, definitely, and why he was so willing to ditch them for someone such as yourself – especially when he’d only just met you.

Well, what you two had done hadn’t been a date, exactly, considering it felt more like two friends catching up. Or two friends meeting for the first time. But you realised you’d enjoyed it like one, and the two of you exchanged social media handles before parting ways: you suggested Twitter, he gave you his Insta, and both of you laughed when you realised you had Tumblr.

Neither of you shared your Tumblr usernames.

And then that was it. You pretty much forgot about the guy – any thoughts of him were lost amidst all of the work you were suddenly bombarded with (which you didn’t appreciate at all, and you were frankly disappointed in your boss for) and you were barely even given the chance to breathe.

It made you miss your writing.

That was why, when you got your next batch of free time (and told your boss that under absolutely no circumstances was he to send you more work to do) you packed up your bag with your usual notebook and stationary set and headed down to the nearest park. Since that last time you’d tried to get coffee, you hadn’t even attempted to get out of the house and do some writing on your own. You figured today would be a good day to go out and get some writing done, as well as get some fresh air.

Taking one look outside, though, you realised it was gradually getting darker, and one look at the clock told you it would probably get dark within the next couple of hours. Knowing your habits, it would be dark long before you finished wanting to write.

Perhaps the nearest university library would be best. You still had a membership card for it, anyway.

It took you about ten minutes to get out of the house with everything you needed, and then you were walking towards the library. Your favourite coffee shop was on the way there, so you decided it would be a good idea to stop by the coffee shop and grab something to drink at the library. You had your travel mug with you anyway, and it wasn’t as if the library refused to let people drink in there all the time.

Students practically lived in there anyway. They had to keep themselves alive somehow.

Just as you were walking into the coffee shop, you realised it was pretty quiet inside… but very noisy outside. Not noisy in the sense that there were lots of people walking about, oh no. It was noisy because there was something more than a little hectic happening on the street that ran by the coffee shop. Cars were speeding past, bikes were speeding past. The only thing that didn’t speed past was an ambulance, which (considering the speed those vehicles were moving about) concerned you greatly.

Still, you managed to tell yourself that this wasn’t your issue and you moved on, not even looking back over your shoulder to see what was going on. The distractions would hold you back, and it was getting later and later. You wanted your coffee and your spot in the library.

It wasn’t until you’d grabbed your coffee and were about to head out that you saw a bike – a battered, wobbly motorbike – pull up outside the cafe. It was a no-parking zone out on that part of the street, and you knew this, but you weren’t going to be the one to warn the person about it when the owner was probably out back watching on a security camera or something. They could suffer from that earful themselves.

The rider got off the bike, stumbling a little bit as they got used to being back on their own two feet, before pulling off their helmet. That was when you realised two things.

One, you’d seen that bike before. It had been brief, yes, but that bike had definitely been part of that whole commotion that had gone on outside whilst you’d been walking. You were absolutely sure of it. In fact, you were pretty sure it had been near the front of whatever had gone on, and had been the main one speeding. Which was more than a little concerning, considering it had now stopped outside of the cafe.

Two, you recognised the person as soon as their helmet came off. You didn’t know exactly why you managed to recognise them so quickly, but you hadn’t managed to see them for a while. Not since you’d first met.

It was Alex.

You stood frozen in place, surprised that after so long you were finally seeing him again. It was… strange, to say the least.

He paused himself, standing sort of lopsided as though he was supporting himself with one leg mostly. He was also seemingly surprised to see you, and then he gave you a half-smile. You got a feeling that he actually did kind of remember you, though you didn’t quite know what would really encourage him to do that.

Then you remembered how you first met, and it all made sense.

“Hello,” he finally greeted once he was close enough to you.

You simply took a sip of your coffee, staring him in the eyes. You didn’t know why exactly you did that – maybe it was a reminder of how he didn’t have to make you spill your coffee all over yourself to get your attention. “Hi.”

You both stood there in silence for a few moments, him watching you drink your hot beverage, and then he finally decided to speak.

“Do you want to sit in here and talk for a bit? We should catch up, right?”

You raised an eyebrow at him. Catch up? That was definitely very… forward of him. “We barely even know each other.”

“Then we can get to know each other more.”

You were so tempted to give in and point out how forward that seemed. After all, this was only the second time you were meeting in person. Granted, you’d seemed to get on pretty well the first time you’d met, but that didn’t mean you’d get along this time… did it? But, of course, you knew you were better than that and that you weren’t the type of person to call someone out when you barely knew them.

“Fine,” you sighed. “But I’m not staying here.”

“Then I’ll grab a drink and join you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Be quick, then.” It didn’t seem as though you were going to get much writing done today either, and it was this guy’s fault.

Again.

***

After that second meeting, where he managed to successfully crash your library writing time and instead had you both sitting in the nearest park chatting over coffee, you began to spend significantly more time getting to know and hanging out with each other. Less than a week after you’d met, you received a message to your Insta from him, and the two of you ended up striking up a conversation via direct messaging that got incredibly long and in-depth, about anything and everything that came to mind. It got to a point where you looked forward to getting responses from him, whether the topic had switched to politics or reading or hobbies. You hadn’t yet decided to tell him that you enjoyed creative writing – in fact, you weren’t even sure you were ever going to tell him, because that was a very private part of who you were – but you spoke about enough other hobbies that you realised you had a wide range of hobbies and skills between you both. There were even some that you shared, whilst others seemed a lot more… obscure on his end. (You certainly hadn’t been scuba diving before.)

Anyway, with the increased conversation came the increased chance to meet up, but every time you planned to meet up for another coffee at your favourite spot something came up. And you meant every time. Whether it was work pushing you again and forcing you to work beyond business hours, or Alex having to cancel for some reason or other (that he often didn’t tell you), everything you organised didn’t work out. It sucked, really. Especially since you seemed to spend more and more time at the coffee shop as the weather changed, whether it was because you were writing or because you wanted a change of scenery to get your work done as best you could.

Well, it sucked until, finally, someone decided to take it into their own hands.

Hint: it wasn’t you.

At the time, you didn’t know why Alex had asked for your address, and you didn’t know why you’d so willingly given it over either. But it wasn’t as though you were particularly worried about him knowing it. He was a decent enough guy, and if he wanted to get you stuff and have it delivered to your doorstep then you weren’t going to complain about it. If he decided to kidnap you instead, you were pretty sure you wouldn’t have a problem with that either. Considering how boring your life had become, you’d probably thank him for it.

You didn’t, however, expect him to turn up on your doorstep, bags of what definitely smelled like your favourite takeout in his hands. You tried not to let your jaw drop too dramatically.

You’d only ever mentioned your favourite takeout once, in passing conversation. How did he even remember that?

“Hi.” His greeting sounded almost suave, as though him going out and getting your favourite takeout after a good while of not seeing each other in person just to have dinner at your place was perfectly normal.

And not… weirdly kind, or borderline romantic.

“Hi,” you responded in an almost hesitant tone, watching him warily for a few moments.

He stood there with the takeout still in his hands, but he didn’t look awkward at all. Not one bit. If anything, he looked like he’d done this too many times before to be doing it again with you.

It made you curious.

“So… are you going to let me in?” The question was asked in a sarcastic drawl, not unlike the one you heard in your head whenever you read messages from him that came as a response to something funny you said, and it made you smile. The wariness and hesitation about him being there melted away immediately.

“I guess I am,” you chirped back, before standing aside and letting him walk past. As he passed you, you couldn’t help but notice he was wearing cologne – maybe he was walking closer to you this time than he usually did, but you could smell it.

And it smelled pretty nice.

You held yourself back from mentioning anything, though.

Soon enough, the two of you were sitting at your small dining table, usually intended for one but actually catering to two tonight, with the takeaway on the table between you both. You couldn’t remember being particularly hungry when Alex arrived, but as soon as you both sat down at the table and Alex began to unload everything ready for you to eat, your stomach decided to announce that it was empty and you were famished. Alex only cracked a grin at the sound your stomach made, and you had to try hard not to let your cheeks heat up in response.

“It’s not funny.”

“Of course it isn’t.” He opened up the food, and the smell was absolutely heavenly. “It’s an indication of how hungry you are. That’s all.”

“Exactly.” And then your eyes narrowed at him. “Are you mocking me?”

He simply replied with a grin as he finished dishing out plates for you both. His lack of an answer was just as good as a confirmation, in your opinion, and you scowled at him playfully as you picked up your cutlery.

You would have to forgive him begrudgingly, if only because he brought you food. And good food at that.

Your meal was pretty nice, you had to admit. The conversations you had were varied, as they usually were, and somehow Alex managed to bring up almost everything that you could have talked about – from politics to art, and science to TV. Even you had to admit that the conversation was a lot more interesting than it usually was, and even if you didn’t share the same opinion on some things, it wasn’t so different that you immediately hated each other and broke off your friendship.

Yes, because that was what it was. Friendship.

You were just friends with this hot guy.

…Your mother was going to have words with you when she found out about this.

By the time you finally looked at the clock, you had both finished dinner a while back and were just sitting at the table, chatting. At some point, you’d popped into the kitchen and made hot beverages for both of you – a tea for him, and a hot chocolate for yourself.

The clock, of course, was almost at midnight. Your eye twitched.

You had work tomorrow.

Alex followed your gaze to the clock, his own eyebrows rising. “Oh, shit.”

“Oh shit indeed.” You looked down into your mug and, finding it was empty, pouted a little. There was nothing there to keep you two talking other than a desire to continue the conversation, and it wasn’t as if you could tell your boss that you were tired because you just wanted to chat with a friend. “I guess we’ve got to finish off, huh?”

That was all it took for both of you to start clearing up, and by the time all of the dishes were washed and everything was put away it was well past midnight. It wasn’t as if washing up was going to go smoothly when the two of you could easily have chatted the night away. In fact, it was almost one in the morning when you and Alex finally made it to your front door, you leaning on the door frame as he stood just beyond your doorway.

It took you almost ten minutes to actually say goodbye.

“Message when you get home,” you called out as he turned to head down the corridor. He gave half a wave over his shoulder, smiling back at you, and you waited until he’d completely disappeared from sight before closing the door, leaning against it with a frown.

Why were you so determined to make sure Alex was safe?

And why, why, did you all of a sudden latch onto just how attractive Alex was?

***

From then on, dinner seemed to happen on a pretty regular basis. Somehow you managed to pry Alex’s home address from his lips, and sometimes you got what you worked out was his favourite takeaway and headed over to his place, surprising him with dinner and a chat. One time, you were pretty sure you walked in whilst he had someone else over – a dark-haired woman, pretty with freckles and blue eyes. She only looked between the two of you before leaving, a smirk on her face, and you narrowed your eyes at Alex until he admitted that she was a childhood friend that he was (somehow) still close to.

You met her a couple more times. She was nice.

But not as nice as Alex’s oldest and longest best friend. He was a riot.

The first time you met him, Alex came over bringing dinner with a scowl on his face. Before you could even ask what was wrong, a smaller, wiry guy burst in with a huge grin on his face. He, of course, immediately struck you as a troublemaker.

You just didn’t know how much of a troublemaker he was.

He spent most of your dinner recounting stories from when Alex was a teen, all the stupid and reckless things that Alex had done that you were pretty sure would have got him into very big trouble if any sort of adult had found out, and you ended up spending most of the dinner laughing as Alex rolled his eyes and tried to correct him or defend his actions. You didn’t really have an opinion on much of what Alex did (that was a lie, you thought he was totally reckless and stupid), but you found it funny watching him squirm and get defensive, and he was fun to poke. This was a side of Alex you hadn’t really seen before.

You liked it.

It wasn’t until the end of the evening that you found out that Alex’s friend’s name was actually Tom Harris. You didn’t know how you’d managed to go that whole evening without finding out his name, but you had.

The next morning, the first thing you did was send him a friend request on Facebook. By the end of the day, you had him on all possible social media platforms and were sending each other all of your favourite memes.

Your favourite meal by far, though, was the one that stuck most in your memory. It would always stick the most in your memory.

Alex, in an apparent twist in tradition, had decided to bring his favourite takeaway over to yours for the evening. You didn’t mind the switch – you actually kind of liked it – but you didn’t hesitate to rib him for it. After all, what kind of gentleman was he if he brought over what he wanted, instead of what you would want?

His response of, “You’ll eat anything anyway,” hit deep, but it wasn’t wrong. You swatted at him with a tea towel for it, and he simply laughed as he moved to unload everything on your tiny dining table.

“I can’t believe you ditched my favourite for yours today,” you whined as you sat down, waiting for him to dish out the food onto your plates. The agreement was that whoever brought over food would be the one serving, but it was weird being served food that wasn’t your favourite. “This feels like a betrayal.”

He just scoffed at you and rolled his eyes. “My place was on the way.”

You raised an eyebrow at that. You knew that your place was on the way from his to yours, you saw it every time and silently longed over it whenever you brought over Alex’s favourite to his place. So the only way for his chosen place to be on the way was for him to be coming from that direction, which was in the opposite direction. Like, if he was coming from somewhere else.

Like work.

“A busy day at work, then?” you asked casually. Alex didn’t usually come from work straight to yours, he usually came from home. At least, that was what you assumed. After all, he was dressed a lot less casually than he usually was. (In fact, you wanted to say that he looked pretty dashing in what definitely looked like a business suit.)

A small frown grew on his face in response to your question, stayed there for a moment, and then he seemed to brush off whatever was on his mind and give you a small smile. “Yeah, pretty busy.” He paused for a moment, finishing off dishing out his food and setting the takeout bowls aside, and then, “I’ve been asked to go on a business trip.”

Your eyes shot up at this, widening as you stared at him. Alex had never really gone into detail about his job before, but… a business trip? You didn’t think he went on business trips. At least, he hadn’t been on one since you’d known him. Not that you’d known of anyway.

“…How long?” you asked eventually, once he’d taken his blazer off and settled in his seat, both of you about to start eating. Your voice was quieter than you expected it to be. You didn’t quite get why you were so quiet all of a sudden – it was just Alex, and you’d had friends disappear for long periods of time before. You were pretty sure you had some friends who went on regular business trips. But you’d gone quiet anyway, and it didn’t seem as though you were going to make yourself any louder.

Alex watched you for a few moments, his fork in his hand and hovering over his plate, and then he put his cutlery down. You got the feeling that this was about to be a pretty in-depth conversation, and mentally prepared yourself.

“Unconfirmed,” he answered, his voice taking on a harder tone, “but maybe a couple of weeks.”

“Where are you going?”

His lips pursed at that, and that confused you. Why was he so reluctant to tell you? “Somewhere in Europe. I’m not sure where yet.”

You just stared at him. Why was he keeping it such a secret? You got the feeling that he knew… but weren’t you close enough friends for him to tell you something like that?

Alex gave a sigh, picking up his fork again. “Let’s… let’s talk about something else, alright?” He offered you an awkward half-smile. “I didn’t come here to talk about me. I came here to have dinner and talk about anything and everything, like we usually do. You know?”

You did know. It was nice to talk to someone who wasn’t a coworker at the end of the day about anything that came to mind, especially over dinner. It meant that you could have varied conversations that didn’t involve getting work done.

But now you felt as though you really should know more about him. What was his job? Where did he even work? He’d never told you that before. And you didn’t think he was ever going to tell you that now.

So you picked up your own fork, looking down at your plate, and decided to focus on your food for a little while. Until you got all of your thoughts together, at least. You didn’t think you would be able to talk until that happened, and there was no way for it to not be awkward if you decided to go and collect yourself in the bathroom or anything like that.

The rest of your dinner was pretty quiet. You did, eventually, manage to collect all of your thoughts and get back into conversation with him, but you couldn’t help but feel that at least some of it was forced, on both sides. You didn’t want it to be – you missed the easy conversation you and Alex tended to have at the table when you were sharing dinner – but it ended up being so. Even as he helped you to wash the dishes and put everything away, you realised the atmosphere just wasn’t as relaxed and easy as you were used to it being.

And it continued that way all the way up to the front door, where you ended up in your usual position of leaning on the doorframe as Alex stood outside of the door. You both stood there in silence for a few moments, taking in the fact that this would be your last dinner together for a while.

“Well,” you started, pushing yourself off the doorframe, “I have work tomorrow, so…”

“Right,” Alex agreed, his hands in his pockets as he nodded. Usually he would at least take some of the food back to his place if he bought it. Today he wasn’t taking anything. “You shouldn’t stay up too late. Or you get–”

“Cranky,” you cut in, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, I know.”

That made Alex crack a grin, and somehow that eased the tension between you both the slightest bit. There were at least some parts of your friendship that wouldn’t change with Alex being away for so long. You’d miss the dinners, definitely, but you had Tom’s number. You could invite him over regularly, and show up at his as well. Sure, he had a girlfriend, but she was lovely and probably needed someone a little more sane around for at least a little bit of time a week.

“I guess I’ll see you when I see you,” you said, trying to sound hopeful, and Alex gave a nod. The situation, the whole him leaving thing, didn’t feel as depressing as it could have been. It was temporary. Alex would be back, right?

“I guess so.” He pulled out hand from his pocket and half-waved in his usual way, before turning to head down the corridor. “See you around!”

You simply smiled, and as soon as he disappeared from sight you moved to shut the door, sighing. Perhaps… perhaps Alex would change his mind and actually tell you where he was going. Perhaps Alex would even message you whilst he was out on his business trip, just to see how you were doing without him around. Those late night chat conversations were always nice, and if those stopped for two weeks you would be sorely disappointed.

You were just headed to the kitchen to make sure everything was tidied away and switched off when there was a knock on the door, and you frowned. Who could be knocking at the door at this hour? You turned and headed back towards the door to see who it was.

As soon as you opened the door, you felt a pair of lips against yours.

You were surprised at first, not sure who it was that was actually kissing you, but then that familiar smell of cologne hit you and you knew.

It was Alex.

His lips were dry, a bit chapped despite recently having dinner, and still managed to feel soft against your own. He seemed a bit hesitant at the start of the kiss, but when you didn’t fight back… when you didn’t fight back, his arms circled your waist, pulling you closer. You simply sunk into the kiss, letting him move his lips against your own, with your arms moving to rest on his shoulders and your hands interlocking behind his neck. You didn’t know how long you even kissed for, but by the time you were pulling away you were starting to feel lightheaded. You blinked owlishly at him, genuinely surprised at what had happened.

Had he just… had he just kissed you?

He stared back at you for a few moments, before clearing his throat. Pulling away from you, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Then he opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly trying to decide on the words to say. And then,

“I’ll… see you in a couple of weeks, then.”

You stared after him in something akin to shock as he disappeared down the corridor.

***

The following two weeks were nothing short of torture for you, both physically and emotionally. Work, somehow, got significantly more busy for you, and it meant that you actually had to go back into the office some days to get some work done. You didn’t particularly like the idea of going back and being around so many of your coworkers for long periods of time, not when you were so comfortable in your own space at home and were pretty productive on your own as it was. But it meant that if you had to stay on and do work, you weren’t distracted by the idea of ordering dinner only to realise that there was no one around to have dinner with. Sure, Tom was about, and so was his girlfriend. But Alex was out of town.

It also meant that you didn’t have to spend any time thinking about that last dinner you had together. About how you’d felt when you found out that Alex was disappearing on you for two weeks all of a sudden, or that he actually went on business trips and disappeared for periods of time.

Or how you felt when he’d kissed you for the first time.

You sometimes got butterflies just thinking about it, him placing his lips on yours and holding you close. The way his slightly dry lips felt against your softer ones, how he smelled up close, how warm his embrace felt as he pulled you in close–

You had to pinch yourself to stop yourself from thinking about it, otherwise you’d spend all day pining or crying over it.

Sometimes you even visited the cafe where you first sat down together to chat, where he’d bought you your first coffee and you’d had your first… well, your first technical date. All you wanted was a coffee, and you ended up being assaulted by thoughts of him and the time you’d spent together.

You didn’t want to think about it that way – you’d never wanted to think about it that way, that it was your first date. But that was how you ended up thinking about it. It had been a date, technically. And all the times where you’d gone to each other’s for dinner had also been dates. You just didn’t want to think of it in that way because you’d only ever thought of him as a friend, and you hadn’t discussed anything to imply that you were anything more.

That kiss more often than not made you think of him as something more.

It reached its worse when one evening, you got off work early. You thought you’d be fine, you told all of your coworkers that you’d be fine at home on your own (it wasn’t as if they knew about Alex anyway) and headed off. It was the middle of the week, so it wasn’t like you could join in on anyone’s night out or anything. Because, you know, no one went on a night out right in the middle of the week.

That evening you found yourself craving company, just wishing there was someone there to have dinner with you. That evening, you craved him.

That evening someone knocked on your door, and you opened it to find it was Tom, Alex’s best friend. He had a frown on his face, a genuine look of concern, which quickly wiped away when he realised you were standing there. The look turned into a grin as he held out what was obviously your favourite takeaway, perfectly bagged and ready to eat.

Just as Alex would.

“I hear someone usually gets takeout with Mr. Businessman,” he teased, before heading into your place without even an invitation. You wanted to be mad at him as he started rambling on about how Alex had thought it was best to get a replacement for dinner and how every time Tom had knocked you hadn’t been there, but really you were glad. You hadn’t wanted to spend the night alone.

Well, you wouldn’t.

And really the night turned out to be more fun than even you had expected. Tom was a non-stop chatter, commenting on anything and everything, and he even went as far as telling you stories about Alex that you were very sure he wouldn’t tell you himself. It meant that you spent pretty much the whole night in stitches as Tom recalled his and Alex’s childhood. You knew he and Alex had been friends for a long while, but just knowing some of their history… it made you realise how they had managed to stay so close for so long.

If you had been through even a smidge of what those two had been through together with a friend, you doubted you would have left them behind ever. You were pretty sure you would have been best friends for life.

When it came time for Tom to finally leave, you couldn’t help but feel like you were going to miss him. Sure, having dinner with him didn’t match up to having dinner with Alex, and you were definitely sure there was someone else Tom could have been with that evening, but it was the nicest night you’d had since Alex had left. You appreciated Tom, you really did.

And you made sure to tell him that as you both headed to your front door (you didn’t have the heart to make him do the dishes with you, like Alex did, so he was leaving considerably earlier than Alex usually would).

Tom only gave you a grin as you thanked him. “It’s alright. You’ve done a lot for him. It’s the least I could do for you.”

You frowned a little. What exactly had you done for Alex? As far as you knew, he had done so much for you. He bought you food, kept you company, and had genuinely been a good friend to you from the moment he’d bought you a coffee to make up for the spilled one. You couldn’t really think of anything you had done for him. Instead of dwelling on that, though, Tom was quick to switch the subject to when you’d next have dinner together (and he pointed out that you’d need to bring over extra as well) and informing you of his favourite takeaway.

Part of you didn’t want to feel like he was talking as though Alex would be away for longer… but he was definitely talking like Alex would be away for longer

“Are you going to be alright?”

Tom’s question snapped you out of your thoughts, and you stared at him. Were you going to be alright? You’d spiralled already because one person was missing – it wasn’t as though the world was ending or anything. So you gave him a smile.

“I’ll be alright.”

A small part of you wondered whether that was really true.

***

It was more than a couple of weeks. You’d been busy, and had probably lost track of the time, but it felt like it had been more than a couple of weeks. It had been too long since you’d shared a dinner with that rather attractive fair-haired man, whose first time meeting you involved making you spill your coffee all over your front. You were still really missing him, like you were having withdrawal symptoms, and it felt weird.

You hadn’t ever missed someone like this for so long before – not even your own parents. It felt… weird. Part of you didn’t like it. You didn’t want to feel this way when it took over most of your waking thoughts if you weren’t sufficiently distracted. You wanted to be able to think of and do other things without having to try so hard. And more often than not, you couldn’t do other things unless you were working, because nothing else distracted you enough.

Other than, well, writing.

But you hadn’t had your writing mojo in a while. Mostly because you spent most of your time at work, but also because you didn’t actually have the energy or the time to get out your notebook (or even open up your documents) on most days to actually get some writing done. Perhaps it was about time to kick that back into gear. You had a feeling that hobby would kick your loneliness.

And that was how you ended up packing up your backpack, your notebooks and stationary in there along with your empty travel mug, as you headed down to your favourite coffee shop. You hadn’t been there in ages – not since before Alex had left – and you missed their coffee. You thought you could do with something hot and caffeinated, just to kick you into gear and wake your brain up. After all, you wouldn’t have the usual adrenaline from work waking you up and pushing you through.

The walk down to the coffee shop was rather nice, admittedly. It was a decently nice day, and it was peaceful outside – most people were either at work or relaxing at home for the day, so it wasn’t as though there was anyone outside to bother you or get in your way. Soon enough you managed to make it to the actual coffee shop, and you were more than glad that you hadn’t really bumped into anyone on your way down. It meant that you didn’t really have to talk to anyone at all, not even your neighbours, so you could get into the headspace that you wanted without too much issue.

The only thing was, the coffee shop was decently busy at the time. There was a steady hum of conversation as you walked into the shop, various people sitting on the different tables available. You worried that it would mean there wouldn’t be any space to sit, or that someone would try to strike up a random conversation with you, until you realised that your favourite table was actually free, and you smiled.

This was definitely a sign.

You headed straight to the counter to order your classic usual – an iced caramel latte, even though it wasn’t particularly hot outside – along with a blueberry muffin. Just to treat yourself and get you into the vibes of the cafe. It didn’t feel like it took long at all for your order to come, which was probably helped along by the fact that the barista hadn’t seen you in a while and struck up a conversation with you. You felt a little bad for not visiting as often – you used to chat near-regularly with this guy when you came there on an almost thrice-weekly basis – but you never had the time recently, and you admitted that.

When he asked you how your writing was going, you just felt guiltier.

Either way, you exchanged social media handles before he gave you your order, and you promised to message each other more when you weren’t around. After all, you liked chatting with the guy. You may as well strike up whatever friendship you had going with him. (And if it turned into something more… then what did you have to lose?

It was about half an hour after you sat down, when you’d finally got into your writing flow, when you felt the whole atmosphere of the cafe change very suddenly. What had once been warm and welcoming suddenly changed to curiosity and wariness, and as much as you wanted to ignore it and keep writing, the change was too dramatic for you to ignore. You had to see what was going on. That was why you put down your pen and looked up, curious about what was going on.

And it felt like, in that moment, your breath was stolen from you.

You recognised that familiar mop of fair hair the moment you saw it. You’d had dreams, weird dreams, of running your fingers through that hair, just to see how soft it was. You’d always imagined that it looked thinner and more wiry than it actually was, that you would run your fingers through it as he lay his head in your lap, the two of you relaxing at either of your places or even out on the local park, simply enjoying nature.

You were drawn out of your daydreams about his hair when his eyes suddenly focused on you. You’d always known his eyes were dark, but something was… something was different about them now. You couldn’t quite pinpoint what, but it was something. Something that you had a feeling should concern you.

Still, the moment his eyes landed on you, they somehow lit up, and that was enough to get you to stand to greet him instead of sitting until he came over. You watched him as he slowly approached you, not intending to get any closer to him.

Your feet carried you forward anyway, and soon enough you were embracing him, your arms wrapped tightly around him, and his around you. He felt almost like a lifeline, like someone you needed to survive. You didn’t know when he’d become that for you, how or when you’d come to depend on him so much, but as you clutched him you realised that you weren’t sure how much longer you could have survived without him around.

“I’ve missed you,” you murmured, your lips right next to his ear.

He let out the breathiest of laughs, tickling your ear. “I’ve missed you too,” he murmured lowly. And then he pulled away just enough to look you in the eyes. “We need to t–”

You didn’t know what had come over you, but the next thing you knew, your lips were pressing against his in a soft kiss that you hoped, you dearly hoped, conveyed everything you were feeling right then. Everything you felt about him in that moment. The way he froze up reminded you of how you’d hesitated when he’d first kissed you, but then he was kissing you back, his familiar chapped lips moving against your own. A few moments later you slowly pulled away – not breathless, but satisfied. And he rested his forehead against yours, a small smile on his lips.

“…Okay then.”

You laughed at his words, suddenly very aware that people in the cafe were probably staring at you both. Regardless, you took the opportunity to reach up and run a hand through his hair. You realised that your thoughts had been right – it was softer than it looked, and felt running through your fingers. Idly, you watched as his eyes closed in response to the movement.

So he liked his hair being played with? That was good to know.

“You’re right,” you spoke up, making him open his eyes so that he could concentrate on what you were saying. “We need to talk.”

Alex nodded as your hand slid out of his hair to rest on his shoulder. His hands rested on your hips, holding you close. “Right. Talk.” He paused for a moment, as though he was collecting his thoughts, and then, “Coffee?”

Your smile widened impossibly as you thought back to the first time you’d met. Of how he’d bought you a coffee in this very shop, and had your drinks at the very table you’d been sitting at when he’d walked in. And you were about to do it again.

“Coffee sounds like a good idea. You’re buying?”

He scoffed as he pulled away fully, making you laugh. “Are you expecting me to buy, or asking me to?”

You simply grinned at him as you headed back to your table. As soon as you sat down, you rested your elbow on the table and your chin in your palm, a smirk on your face. “You figure it out.”

He stared at you for a few moments, noticing your half-finished iced latte still sitting on the table, and rolled his eyes at you. “You’ve been spending too much time around Tom.”

“I’ve been spending just enough time around Tom, thank you very much.”

You just about managed to stop yourself from saying how you wanted to spend more time with just him, though. Just about. But that was all that went through your mind as you watched him go off to get his coffee from the barista you’d been chatting with earlier.

Soon enough he was back with his coffee. You swore you could see the barista watching after him with a weird expression on his face, but as soon as Alex was sitting in front of you your focus was on him, and not on the guy you chatted with whenever you came there to get your coffee. Your eyes were glued to him and only him as he took a sip from his coffee, and you couldn't help but realise that there were… purple-ish marks on his neck. At least, they looked that way to you. You didn't get much time to look at them, though, because soon enough he was looking at you again and had put his mug down, his shirt covering up whatever you’d seen.

“So, talking,” he started, and you couldn’t help but glance down at your iced latte, very tempted to take a sip from your drink so that you didn’t have to say anything. But you got the feeling that he would catch that – Alex was very observant – so you decided against it.

“Talking,” you repeated, before taking a deep breath. How did you even talk about it? It was… a lot, but at the same time, so little. Where did you even start? “…Do you want to talk about the first, or the second?”

You could tell Alex was trying to hold back a smirk as he looked at you. “Well, ideally we should start with the first, don’t you think?”

Well, when he put it that way, he made it seem so obvious.

“Okay, then you start,” you pointed out, deciding now was a good time to take a sip from your latte. “After all, you initiated.”

His cheeks flushed pink at that point. “I did.”

You realised that you found the pink flush very cute.

It took him a few moments to seemingly compose himself, and that was the moment you realised that Alex wasn’t as confident or as outgoing as he usually let on. There, right then, you were seeing him as a shy, awkward man – probably the kind of person he’d once been before he’d grown up and started putting on the more confident front.

You liked this shyer version of him.

“I… have liked you for a while,” he admitted, his voice so quiet you almost didn’t hear him. “I say a while, I mean… I mean a month, or so?" He gave an awkward half-shrug. "I just… acted."

You stared at him, blinking a few times. "You just… acted?"

"Yes."

"On impulse."

"Yes."

"Giving into an animalistic desire–"

"I wouldn't go quite that far."

You didn't know why, but suddenly you felt emboldened. The feelings you thought were a one-way crush turned out to be reciprocated, and your heart was bubbling with so much joy. But for some reason… for some reason you didn’t see the same level of excitement in his eyes.

Instead, you saw… was that hesitation?

He looked down at his mug, and then back up at you. And that was when you realised he wasn’t sure whether you felt the same way. Or, at least, that was what you were thinking, anyway. So you rolled your eyes at him.

“Aren’t you going to ask me on a proper date, or something?” you teased. You quickly realised that maybe saying that was a little too bold, but the way his cheeks flushed and he awkwardly laughed made you think that maybe he didn’t think of it as really offensive. Though the longer it took for him to answer made you wonder whether he was actually considering asking you on a date, or was trying to find a way to let you down gently.

“Dating me isn’t easy,” he finally said, his voice quiet. He looked… nervous now. “I’m a demanding person.”

“I know, I’ve fed you,” you responded casually. When he didn’t laugh, you realised he was probably talking about more than just food.

“I can also be absent for weeks at a time,” he pointed out.

“I can work with that, I’ve had a taster.”

“My job is really demanding, and I can’t tell you anything about it.”

That one confused you. Alex hadn’t ever told you anything about his job before anyway, but you knew that if you were getting closer to him that you’d want to know what he did from day to day. Or at least have an idea of what he did every day. But hearing that he couldn’t tell you anything… that sounded like it would be tough to deal with. And it also sounded like it was something that Alex anticipated.

So you reached over and placed your hands on his, watching as his eyes widened and he tensed a little. You gave him a small smile.

“I wouldn’t be dating you for your job. I’d be dating you for you. The job thing is secondary and not as important.”

He stared at you, as though he was actually processing what you were saying and whether you meant it. You hoped that he knew that you did mean it, and that you really did want to date him regardless. Relationships came from working hard at them – the two of you could work past anything you were unsure about now over time.

“Are you sure?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Do you think I’d still be sitting here with you if I wasn’t?”

He stared at you, seemingly trying to decide whether you were telling the truth or not. So you decided to offer him a soft smile to try and encourage him.

“Do you really want to do this?” Alex asked, and you gave him a definitive nod.

“Yes.”

The smile that appeared on his face… it wasn’t quite blinding, but it was certainly very beautiful and very happy. And it made you smile even wider in return.

“Alright then.” He took a deep breath, still smiling. “Alright.”

“So pick me up tomorrow at seven?” you went on, and he laughed a little.

“Tomorrow at seven it is.” He shifted your hands so that he was actually holding them, and he squeezed a little. A squeeze that marked the beginning of a rather companionable silence as you both stared down at your hands, how they looked as you held onto each other.

Until you broke it.

“Is this the end of our talk?” you asked, looking up and raising an eyebrow at him. “Because if it isn’t, I think we need to discuss the way you alert me before you disappear for weeks at a time. The night before you go is not acceptable and I would like to have words with you about that.”

He grimaced. “Yeah, about that–”

“The next time you do that, I’m punching you and breaking your nose.”

He blinked, and then smirked. “Are you, now?”

“You bet I am.”

You knew you should be offended by the way he laughed at you, but you couldn’t help but smile at his reaction. It had been a while since you’d heard that laughter coming straight from him.

It was nice.

And you were glad that you were getting the opportunity to hear it more. At least, you hoped you were. You just had to wait and see.

#writing: mine #writing: fanfic writings #written for: zixylixy #fandom: alex rider #alex rider fanfiction #oneshot #alex rider