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chr0n1c-ag0ny · 7 months

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Kunidazai reunion sparking them finally, actually, truly getting together (cause they're idiots who have essentially been and old married couple for years and were the last to notice)? I think yes.

kunikida offering his apartment to Dazai, as his partners was in no shape to be lived in, after all the time that had passed with no upkeep and the time it spent in police custody, being milled through for any potential evidence. there was no way he could let him go back to it, not now, not tonight. Kunikida needs him close tonight.

Dazai takes him up on his offer. he doesn't want to be alone. he won't admit it, but he can't be alone, he doesn't know what it would do to him, what he would do to himself if he was left unattended. so he gratefully, while making jabs and cracking jokes at his partner, follows him home.

their night proceeds as normal, as it had for years of Dazai crashing with him. Kunikida cooks while Dazai sits up on his counter, rambling on and on about anything he can think of. Kunikida never realized how much he missed Dazai's voice until the relief of not cooking in silence hit him.

when they eat Dazai drags his partner to sit on the couch, even though Kunikida hates eating on the couch, knowing he would make an exception for him, just for tonight. they sit too close to just be friends, coworkers, partners even. their arms touch, their knees lean into one another.

when Dazai's finished with his dinner he lays a head in Kunikida's lap, turning on the TV, flipping through all of his partners recorded media until he finds the show they had been watch together, every episode that aired since he was arrested is recorded and unwatched. with blurry eyes he hits play. Kunikida's hand is in his hair and it doesn't leave.

they don't talk, they don't have to, they've talked enough. for now they just want to sit and feel each other's touch and hear each other's breathing. it's all they need.

its nearly 3 in the morning when Dazai finally starts to doze, he'd curled up into a ball, halfway in Kunikida's lap at that point, holding onto one of his partner's hands. Kunikida knows he should get them both to bed, he should offer Dazai the room and take the couch, that he should have the man some space after all he'd been through. but he aches at the thought of leaving his side, at being separated again.

but he doesn't even have to say anything, should have known he never had to, Dazai's always been sharp as a tack, his intuition, almost terrifyingly, even sharper.

His partner turned lazily in his arms, looking up at him with tired but knowing eyes. let's go to bed, they say. you don't have to go, you can stay, they assure. please don't go, they beg.

Kunikida breathes a long, heavy, sigh of relief.

"ok," he answers, before finally getting up after hours laid up on the couch, watching as Dazai continues to doze.

his heart aches with feverish heat. he'd missed him so much he had begun to go mad, had gone mad really, and now his partner was back, he was back and alive and mostly well, and now he was so relieved it ached in its own right.

he went about making up his bed for two, for Dazai, knowing he needed enough pillows and blankets for half a dozen people, but kept stopping to look over the back of the couch to make sure he was still there, still with him, that he hadn't been taken away again. by the time he's done he's probably crossed his apartment two to three dozen times, from his room to the couch again and again, before he's finally decided the room was good enough, there were enough blankets for Dazai to cover himself with and pillows to hide in.

when he goes to Dazai this time around, he kneels in front of him, carding a hand through his hair, tracing a thumb over his brow, to his nose, and then his cheek. his partner's eyes flutter open, a smile graces his lips.

"come on," he whispers, worried too loud a voice would shatter the delicate air of safety and comfort around them, "time for bed."

Dazai hums, getting up with a stretch and a yawn, much like a cat, before gingerly hopping off the couch and into Kunikida's arms, a false smile and air of cheekiness to him, hiding the ache Kunikida knew all too well resided in his partner's heart as much as it did his own, if not more. he holds him for a moment, savoring the feeling of him in his arms, before taking his hand and leading him to their room.

Dazai knows the drill. he goes to the other man's dresser and picks out a pair of his own sweatpants, ones he kept here for nights like these, and as per usual, one of Kunikida's shirts, gliding across the room, out into the hall, and into the bathroom.

Kunikida crawls into bed, feeling like he's been hit by a bus by the days events, and ends up half asleep by the time he feels Dazai crawling into bed next to him.

he expects to see bandages peeking from the borrowed nightshirt, to watch Dazai shield himself from the world, from his partner's touch, with a swarm of blankets, for Dazai to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for him to fall asleep first.

but tonight's different, so different.

Dazai's skin is bare where the shirt doesn't cover, his scars on display, each and every one of them, the burns, the cuts, the bullet wounds, the ones Kunikida has never one been able to decipher the story of. they're all bared to him, with no visible hesitation on Dazai's end.

when his partner climbs into bed he neglects the pile of blankets laid out for him, the pillows too. instead he lifts the comforter that's draped over the entirety of the bed, Kunikida included, sliding beneath it like it's natural to him, like he'd done it every night for months, years even.

he looks at Kunikida for a moment, silently asking for permission, which Kunikida cannot give fast enough, and then Dazai's in his arms, his own wrapped around his neck, nothing between them but the clothes on their backs.

Dazai pulls away, just a bit, Kunikida almost cries out, almost pulls him back in, but knows better. he lets dazai go, but he never leaves. he's moved just far back enough so they could both look each other in the face.

"I missed you," he spoke softly, his hands shifting to hold the blonde's face.

"I missed you too,"

there's a moment of silence.

"I love you." the words are hesitant, skittish even, like he's unsure of how Kunikida would take it.

"I love you too," he replies without a second thought. he loves his partner, he loves him, more than he knows what to do with, so much it drives him mad and makes him ache.

Dazai nods. he's thinking, Kunikida can see it on his face, his mind is going a million miles a second. worry flashes on Dazai's face, and Kunikida panics, goes to pull away, goes to give Dazai space, even if his own skin burns at the thought of parting with Dazai's.

but Dazai doesn't let him, he clings to him, "Don't go, please don't go, please," he begs.

his voice is desperate, so Kunikida doesn't. he watches his partners face twist and turn, watches as fear spreads across his brow and tears gather in his eyes, and he doesn't know what to do because this has never happened.

but than Dazai leans in, slowly, tugging Kunikida closer so they can meet in the middle. Kunikida feels his partners lips on his. he kisses him back. he can't decide if that was a foolish decision or not. It's soft, softer than either of them knew they were capable of, it's gentle and earnest and good.

Dazai stops after a moment, lingers in Kunikida's space before looking him in the eye once more, he doesn't speak, they don't need to. Dazai looks at him, tears running down his face, but he's smiling, he's ok. his thumbs wipe away tears Kunikida hadn't realized he'd shed. they're ok.

"I love you," Dazai mutter's again, speaking again before the other man can answer "Kunikida?"

"yes, Dazai?"

"don't go."

"I won't."

"promise?"

"I promise." its a foolish thing to say, but Dazai needs to hear it, hell, he needs to hear it, "I'm not going anywhere, so long as you promise me the same."

he hesitates, his eyes avoid Kunikida's for a moment, before returning from their shared gaze, "I'll try, I promise, I'll really try this time"

Kunikida nods, slowly moving to kiss Dazai's forehead, the brunette leans into it.

"I know you will," he whispers into Dazai's skin, "and I'll always be here when it's too hard to manage on your own."

there's silence again, but it doesn't feel wrong or heavy, its soft and warm and it feels right.

"I love you," Kunikida finally returns.

there's more silence, Dazai just looks at him, just watches, fingers playing with Kunikida's hair and drifting over his face until something clicks into place in the other man's mind, something nobody but Dazai could ever understand.

he leans in once more to kiss his cheek before he settles against Kunikida's chest, letting out a pleased huff as he curls himself into a ball, "goodnight," he muttered, almost instantly going still with sleep.

"goodnight," Kunikida replied, knowing Dazai wasn't going to hear him, pressing his own goodnight kiss to the top of Dazai's head before burying his face in the other man's hair (Dazai doesn't smell like his shampoo anymore. it makes something in him cringe. he tries and fails to ignore it).

it takes Kunikida a while to fall asleep, he's too busy running the night over and over and over again in his mind. he holds Dazai close and lets his fingers trace over scars, feeling over his too-thin frame, feeling each bone beneath his skin. there's so many thoughts rushing through his mind, to many fears, worries, anxieties, what ifs. what if I hurt him? what if I break him? what if I ruin this?

his thoughts are only stopped when Dazai gently nudges his head into his jaw, hands pulling Kunikida's off of him, holding them gently in his own (he should have known sleep wouldn't come that easy to Dazai).

he takes a deep breath, steadying himself and his mind, his partner's hands squeeze his gently, good, they seem to say, and sleep finally starts to pull at him once more.

he lets it happen, let's his eyes close and his mind go blank, knowing Dazai is safe, he's safe in his arms, he won't be taken away again. he sleeps knowing Dazai loves him, that he kissed him, that tomorrow they'll wake up like this, and maybe, just fucking maybe they can finally have this one happy ending.

#I love when two emotionally constipated men find ways to be indirectly vulnerable and soft with one another. it matters so much to me.#they don't know how to talk about it or what they mean to one another or what they need from the other but they make it work #but after so long of dancing around each other only to be ripped apart for so long something just gives way and for once its in their favor #I hc that Dazai can be quite graceful in a ghostly and/or feline sort of way when he wants to be. he hops to his toes instead of standing-#glides instead of walking. stares into your soul with these big old eyes instead of just look. so thats just sprinkled in here.#on another note. these men are idiots. I said getting together but for christ sake they've been together for years they just never noticed.#I cringed at their stupidity multiple times while writing this.#dazai is scared of loving kunikida. he's scared his love will damn the man he loves. he's scared he'll leave too #but he can only run from his feelings so long #kunikida is scared to love dazai. he's scared he will find a way to break him. that he won't be careful enough. that he'll screw it all up.#they're so fucking messy and I love them your honor #I have so much to say about them #kunikida bsd #kunikida doppo #bsd kunikida #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai bsd #kunikidazai #kunidazai #if you see typo's no you don't

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tranakin-skywalker · 3 months

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Not enough about the clones being children and adults at the same time. They're 10 years old. They're fully grown. They're still little kids. They never got to have a childhood at all. They're terrifying soldiers. They hardly know anything about the galaxy except how to fight and how to take orders.

I want clones that have this childish wonder at the world, but being terrified to show it. Clones with the sense of humor of 10 year old boys. Clones who don't really understand what death is, not really. Not until they're on a battlefield and dying in droves.

#you ever think about how small their world was on kamino?#how little they knew or experienced?#kids in bodies of adults who were made to grow up too fast in more ways than one #yeah they had the accelerated aging but they're still only 10 years old #like. kids are still fully formed people they just haven't been around long enough to experience as much or develop yet #the clones are physically adults but they've only had half as much time to grow up #i just wish it was something that was explored more

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sugaroto · 1 month

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Wow

The creator of one of my favorite comics wished me happy birthday 🥲😭💘

#ok honestly im new here. i didn't know their other comic so i haven't been around long #and i think they've answered like 3 times on my comments? and now i get a happy birthday? wow #also now that i have an online name i feel like i should change my webtoon name....#but..#someone said they like it once #thats jem carstairs you know #Cinderella boy #webtoon #punko #oh also honestly im not sure who they were wishing happy birthday to at that post #who is blobfishuu are we sharing birthday? are we twins? hi?

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rosemaryfuckingwalten · 1 month

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crass

#twf #the walten files #chris easteryear #the walten siblings #jack walten #richie ratterson #i still really like easterday as a name so lo and behold its his dad's now #absolute dork of a man with stupid ass glasses. he loves his boy and he loves to embarrass him #ive also been playing around with the idea that they're the waltens' neighbors and have known each other for a very long time #longer than they've known felix for sure #also walten kids because i said so. they love the guy and he loves them but you couldnt get him to word it like that to save his life #'yeah theyre fine i guess' (letting one of them use him as a jungle gym and the other constantly hiding behind them)#look into my eyes i will provide you with big brother chris content. its ok

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theirloveisgross · 9 months

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my best friends. <3 (november 2019)

#i stumbled upon this old pic yesterday while looking through steve's instagram trying to find his birthday #i hadn't seen it in sooooo long #probably since around the time i joined the fandom #and idk it made me so emo #and i kept coming back to look at it ashajhsa #and just... they've been together for like 3 years and i'm so emo about it #ugh. i love them.#i love how louis built his band and kept them and they're all just... it's not just louis and-#i'm cry

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possiblytracker · 1 year

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saw a weasel for the first time in the wild just now

#a stoat to be exact. long black tail #haha funny fursona jokes aside they've been one of my favourite animals since i was a little kid ive always wanted to see a real one #and it was Right there. just outside the bird hide. bouncing around stealing scraps just living its life #fucked up one time on the stopwatch and had to make it up bc scientific validity be damned im watching that beast as long as its there #thought it was a squirrel before it did a funny little bounce out of the bush #made my day tbh. longbeast spotted (real)

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anaalnathrakhs · 24 days

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btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit.#i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them.#but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu''#it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps????#it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped.#the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????''#oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

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tamariasykes-art · 2 years

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Favourite sweets/ desserts Headcanons for the (demi)gods!

Does an idea ever hit you in the face like a brick? Because that’s what inspired me to write this headcanon list. Kept it a bit shorter than usual, because I would also love to hear other peoples ideas/ thoughts on this.

Marika: A part of me of thinks she would eat whole sugar cubes, just because. The other part of me is convinced that she does not actually eat food unless in the company of family.

Godfrey: With the harsh conditions in the badlands, I don’t think sweets are of a particular concern for Godfrey and his warriors when all they aim to do is to survive. I don’t think outside of dried fruits he ever ate something that could be considered sweet. When he was still Elden Lord, he liked to eat applie pie because it wasn’t overly sweet and still a bit savory.

Godwyn: The wealth of his heritage allows him to enjoy all kinds of delicacies. Whatever he is served will usually have some extravagance to it. Picture a chocolate cake with flakes of leaf gold sprinkled on top of it. Godwyn himself doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth however.

Morgott: Claims that overly sweet food makes his teeth food and in general shies away from eating any of it. He mostly sticks to cake and other pastries, with his favorite being apple Pie and also Baumkuchen (Because that literally translates to treecake and it is very funny to me)

Mogh: Dark chocolate in combination with any type of fruits is his go too. He loves chocolate bars with nuts and grapes inside. I can also definitely see him as the type to enjoy very expensive pralines.

Godrick: I imagine that in addition to all the other health issues going on, Godrick probably has inherited all of his ancestors allergies and dental problems. So, he has bad teeth and has to watch what he eats. In addition to that is sugar very expensive and he hasn’t really been blessed with a fortune from his family. He eats dried fruits, which can be hard to chew tough and uses honey to sweeten food.

Miquella: Ice cream and marshmallows. Even better if both are combined. He would probably snack the latter as often as possible, but Loretta ended up moving the glass to the upper shelves where he can not reach it. He also likes various fruits, most of which are grown on the land of the Haligtree.

Malenia: Miquella always shares his ice cream with her, but she has a tendency to get brain freeze from it. She also has some bad memories of rotten fruit, so she tends to avoid baked goods or other desserts containing it. Nuts however are a different matter, with her favorite being hazelnut. And a slice of hazelnut cake will definitely cheer her up.

Radagon: Probably the one who makes all the desserts. Unlike Marika he actually eats sweets, but doesn’t have a particular favorite. However, he definitely makes cookies for the kids only to eat the majority of them himself.

Rennala: Croissants. She enjoys a hearty breakfast with her family before a long day and croissants are always a must. She eats them either with fruit or different types of jam. (And yes, she is aware how ironic the resemblance between her favorite dessert and her crown is.)

Ranni: Blueberry tart. I definitely can see her as the type of person to sit down and enjoy a slice of tart and some tea or perhaps have a picnic with Blaidd, Iji and her Tarnished.

Radahn: Pancakes or waffles, topped of with syrup and fruits. He is just like his mother in that he believes and extensive breakfast is the perfect start in the day. Leonard on the other hand gets to eat an apple as a treat.

Rykard: Candied fruits all the way! He is especially fond of candied raisin and plums. He also loves sour cherries and will eat them raw before anyone has a chance to use them as ingredients. He likes to try new, unique flavors and doesn’t shy away from adding some questionable ingredients to his meals.

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soulsxng · 7 months

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THEY HAVE NAMES!!!

^ Bleddyn Llew Rhodri; knight-commander third class (Unseelie), Knight-commander second class (Current)

^ Laisren Cynwrig Ris; knight-captain second class (Unseelie), Knight-commander third class (Current)

#[Bleddyn -headcanons-]#[Laisren -headcanons-]#Not sharing their full true names #instead I'm going to inevitably forget them and have to scramble to refind them again later alknafd #But yeah! Tired old man Bleddyn has been a knight forever #and is probably the reason why Laisren (and probably quite a few others) joined in the first place #can't decide what their relationship with each other is gonna be other than that they get along and work well with each other #no matter what I feel like it's a sort of found family sort of thing considering they've been around each other for a long time

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pastafossa · 8 months

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I’m so sorry about your cat🥺🥺 I recently lost my childhood cat and it’s a feeling I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It completely broke my heart, and I’m so sorry you’re going through the same thing.

Sending you and your kitten lots of love and hugs❤️❤️❤️ please take care of yourself<3

From my heart to yours, I am so so sorry for your loss too. 😞It really is the worst part of having them with you, and when you've had them since you were young or just for a long time it gets hard to remember what it was like without them, or to figure out how you're going to cope with not having them around. I'm not sure what I'm going to do or even how I'll sleep without him there next to me like he always is. But I tell myself all of this grief is worth it considering how much love they give us over the years.

Lots of love to you, too, this is so hard to go through.

#thank you friend #like this just... it hurts so much and more than a lot of the other pets i've had #they've all hurt don't get me wrong but he's been with me for so long that it's difficult to remember time *before* him #i'm planning a lil memorial tattoo of his actual paw print and some little flowers around it the color of his eyes #that way he'll always be right there with me #the thought makes me feel a little better #i'm also getting a little clipping of his fur to put in a memorial jar with some of his favorite toys and stuff that remind me of him #it is so so hard to lose them when they leave all these little paw prints on our souls #but it's worth it in the end or that's what i tell myself #you take care of yourself too <3

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zemnarihah · 1 month

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my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....

#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth #she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her #directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her #and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because #you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple #days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and #she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends.#and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only #give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i #didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she #says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do.#i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was #really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think #for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe #since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why.#i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a #fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if #i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person #to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a #conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a #hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend #group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.

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skunkes · 2 years

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I've been following you for a long time and you seem a lot more confident about your art and in general and it makes me happy! just more relaxed and at ease

yeeeeees it's been a combination of a lot of things ^_^ i feel like ive finally started Getting somewhere with art + my learning mindset (even though i still feel like im devolving lol...+ like im behind + im never gonna actually be good...idk. finally having a new oc to draw + improve with helped. the doodle pages have helped bc my brain is just Suited for them + the structure, took me a long time to figure that out!!!)

I dont think I'm more confident in general but I've just got more distractions (proof that I just needed. a Friend to talk to since I usually. do not get to talk to anybody but family, if at all, more than once a week, if at all) from the usual bad stuff + ruminations, and I willed my brain to Work.

Like, I finally just had the motivation to fully reinvent myself as the person I've always wanted to be ^_^ fully leaning into I'd Wanna Be Treated This Way, I'd Want Someone to Do It For Me, I Want to Make Someone/Anyone's Life a Little Easier etc...+ idk! sometimes i feel i come off as Fake (but like i am still an evil little hater LOL) but it's helped ^_^ everything sucks but it's helped...

dont get me wrong im still in the exact same awful situation wrt my future and life and current housing but like I'll have a good meal or a nice interaction and its the new best day of my life, ykwim? I can handle it a little better...conditioned self to get excited over what little i have (like rn im excited to go to bed bc im excited to eat lunch tomorrow)

anyway thank yu ^_^ sorry for da paragraphs <- guess that hasn't changed!

#anonymous #skunk mail #i didnt wanna make it longer BUT i also wanted to say #i was convinced i was permanently a horrible evil person because I was; in middle school. which seems to be a common thing #but it would make me nauseous to think about. anyway. ive had a handful of people from around that time talk to me #not fully reconnecting but contacting me and like. they've also changed or also been like Man I Also Sucked Back Then. Sorry. Let's Move On #+ its like no way....i'm not a monster after all...i can fully embrace being good and nice and such without feeling like im wallpapering #over a rotting decaying foundation...ykwim....anyway. after my horrible first half of 2021 ive been having. a good year(s)#waiting for something to take that away from me bc im using up all my good luck this year + i become 24/7 crying venting #cheye again but. yes ^_^#long post -

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