#they're idiots

[crowley-anthony]

The 'Why are they like this and why am I love in with them?'

#goodomensedit #good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffablehusbandsedit #crowley #crowleyedit #aziraphale #aziraphaleedit #they're idiots #mine* #2k

[nelkcats]

Lost Contact

Danny fell in love with Bruce Wayne in college. If he was completely honest with himself he didn't even know about Gotham or the outside world by that point, he just knew he had to get away from home for a while and complete his studies.

He didn't expect to run into a playboy billionaire who was supposedly very dumb at his college; Danny knew better, he could tell the difference between the act and the real Bruce, someone truly thoughtful, caring and very smart, but no one but him noticed so he didn't say anything.

They became very good friends despite their obvious latent crush and on graduation day Danny was about to confess when he got a call from home asking for help with the GIW. The halfa had no choice but to say goodbye not wanting to get Bruce in his mess.

When he returned to Gotham months later he learned that Bruce was gone, his butler informed him that he would be back but didn't know when and the halfa returned to Amity in disappointment. He decided to take over the Realms for a while and distract himself with all the responsibilities he had been avoiding.

Years later he was called for a college reunion. Danny was very nervous, he hadn't kept in touch with the outside world but his core was still glowing for the billionaire, he wondered if Bruce would remember him.

Despite his plan to confess his old feelings (and pretend they no longer existed), Danny was unable to do anything but look at Bruce who greeted him with a smile and a small child at his side. The halfa grimaced, maybe he was married?

Bruce seemed excited to see him again and exchanged his contact, asking him not to go off the radar again, the halfa felt a little guilty about it. They continued to communicate over the years. Danny noted with amusement how his crush kept adopting children and calling him for a dinner at the mansion.

#dpxdc #ghost king danny #Danny met Bruce in college #They were not in the same major #and Danny wanted to avoid the millionaires #but he heard the rumors and was curious #If Brucie was so stupid why was he studying something so demanding? #It wasn't long before he found him in person #and fell in love a little #They became friends #dp x dc #dc x dp #Bruce was also interested in Danny #Danny has no contact with the world outside of Amity and the Realms #and he is not interested in reading the newspapers either #It's kind of funny in retrospect #Danny didn't confess because he didn't want to entangle Bruce with the GIW and the ghosts #Bruce did not confess because he did not want to involve Danny with his revenge and Batman #They're idiots #Danny is going to see Selina at some point and think that they are married or something

[theshadowsooc]

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #what we do in the shadows out of context #nandor the relentless #they're idiots

[jheselbraum]

"Zelda loves Link and is stressing about it because surely Link, hero of Hyrule, her favored knight, appointed for her protection, and her closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for her. Meanwhile, Link is running around in the background devoting 110% of his being to her and would do anything for her and has actually already confessed, like, five times Zelda just didn't pick up on it because she was overthinking it" and "Link loves Zelda and is stressing about it because surely Zelda, Sage of Time, princess of Hyrule, who must marry royal blood, who lives with Link in his fucking house, who has 10,000 years worth of faith and trust in him, who even as a dragon after she lost her self protected Link, his closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for him. Meanwhile, Zelda is running around in the background toppling the monarchy and reforging the societal fabric of Hyrule so they can be together. She's also confessed like, five times but Link hasn't picked up on it because he's overthinking it" are two concepts that can coexist

#totk spoilers #kind of #zelink #they're idiots your honor #she's a goddess incarnate with parental issues #he's so anxious he's nonverbal 90% of the time #they both eat rocks #they're idiots #they're awkward #they have no idea what they're doing #I fully believe that after botw link's solution to having feelings for both zelda and sidon was to try and set them up #they put the slow in slow burn #one hundred years wasn't slow enough for these motherfuckers they had to make it 10000

[nat-ter]

ok. hear me out. batman and superman having petty rivalry. not bcus they actually hate each other but bcus there's a little misunderstanding going on between them.

the first time they met, superman wanted to impress the other hero (bcus yayy a new friend!) so he might have tried a bit too hard to look impressive to batman by putting on a more confident front than he generally feels.

batman has heard of the new hero in town (or the next one over wtv) and ofc there's this superhuman being who literally shoots laser out of his eyes not to mention the flying thing so in the most batman way possible, he's immediately cautious. and then comes this obnoxious alien to batman's own turf introducing himself as if he expects bruce to bow down to his feet and sing his praises just bcus he can, what, breathe ice? never! so begins the hostility. which took superman by surprise bcus here he comes, looking for partnership, maybe even friendship, but instead getting rude and obnoxious short replies in return.

first time superman is questioned his thoughts on the dark knight, he's honestly taken aback bcus since he hasn't had any contact with the other hero in the public's eye he didn't think ppl would ask him questions about gotham's bat. so, a bit flustered clark kent, in a very un-superman-like way, blurts out, "oh, that. i heard he's human." immediately after which he has to leave the scene bcus there was a tsunami somewhere. and so he unwittingly sets out the verbal war.

next time batman is questioned about his thoughts on superman, instead of leaving without any comment like he usually did, this time he stays and boy does he have something to say. or not, according to his words. but he did say smth and that highly contradicts his own words. "i have nothing to say about a twat in a primary colour who doesn't even know where undergarments go." and so officially begins the war.

clark hates batman bcus he thinks the man is a xenophobe (except he has seen batman interacting with other superbeings just fine and some of them may be meta but still it stings that he's the only one being treated with such hostility). bruce hates superman bcus he thinks the alien is looking down on him for being human with its shortcomings and hey this is a touchy subject for him okay back off. but neither of them actually never make any contact apart from trashing each other to the press whenever they can.

at first it was only pointed remarks that portrayed their distrust for each other like:

"at the end of the day what is batman but a furry with anger issues finding an outlet in the dark?"

"next time, maybe superman should use his ego to topple one of metropolis' finest buildings instead of himself. surely that will get the job done quicker."

but the longer it goes on, the more the two heroes enjoy themselves. and eventually the remarks grows more petty and childish and nothing like what two grown men who fight crimes should even say about each other.

"batman is probably hideous, maybe that's why he wears a mask that only shows the more attractive part of his face."

"who is to say there isn't ugly tentacle-like creatures hiding behind that pristine, god-like face."

unfortunately the longer the war wages, the more it sounds like the two of them are merely flirting in a backhanded way. which drives alfred and martha up the walls. alfred swears that he will leave the manor and maybe become a vegabond if he has to witness master bruce making a fool out of himself by pulling the proverbial ponytail in the playground any longer. martha is mad that her son has supposedly forget all the manners she had painstakingly grilled into him (she demands that clark immediately make peace with the bat but clark is so busy he doesn't even have time to visit his own ma lately and no it's not bcus he's afraid of the disappointed face™ nope. never).

it went from:

"i hardly think batman believes he's above the law, no, rather he believes that he is the law." (which is simply wrong, in bruce's opinion. no, he likes to think that he's operating outside of the law while perfectly abiding to it. alfred finds it dubious but it isn't like bruce will listen to him anyway)

and,

"just because superman can fly, he thinks he's above us. i hardly think any god would run at the sight of a green rock." (which is also wrong, in clark's opinion. he has never run from a fight even when kryptonite is present. lois can seconded it even though she wishes he does run as fast as he can)

to:

"maybe batman should smile more, that'll make him much more attra— i mean, approachable. which, i understand, will dispel the whole dark and broody and bat-themed performance he's got going on, of course, but im just saying, you know, the guy's got a pretty nice chin and—" ("clark!" hissed lois who's hiding among the people superman has just rescued from a burning building, only for superman's ears and shutting the man right up)

and,

"people only trust superman because he's so stupidly handsome." ("wow, B, didn't expect batman to come out like that," sarcastically comments nightwing in batman's comm. batman growls)

it's driving everyone insane. alfred is ready to take a very long, a very well earned vacation, lois wants his best friend to get laid, martha is working up a rant and the two heroes can't seem to figure out their stance on the idea of one another.

#superbat #fic idea #i guess? #your honour #they're idiots #so many ways this could end #istg #im dying #superbat fic ideas

[felixeis003]

cody with an acts of service love language keeps doing his general’s flimsiwork for him, except obi-wan does the exact same thing for him and they keep trying to best each other in doing each other’s flimsiwork without the other knowing ofc, because each would insist to do it themselves

Boil : *walking through a room in the Negotiator*

Boil : *sees Cody at a table*

Cody : *furiously working at a mountain of flimsiwork, muttering under his breath*

Boil : *raises eyebrow, keeps on walking*

  *later*

Boil : *walking somewhere else in the Negotiator*

Boil : *sees the general, doing the exact same thing Cody was doing*

Boil : wtf

Waxer : *coming to stand besides Boil* they’ve been doing this exact dance for three days

#they're idiots #i love them anyways #codywan #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #headcanon

[sqswisashitposter]

#mortal kombat #mk1 #johnshi #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #my art #they're idiots #both of them

[goldenphoenix4]

bau squabbling like a family playing monopoly pt. 2

morgan, on the phone to garcia: just leave it alone until i get there

*garcia gives an unintelligible yet certainly bratty response*

morgan: hey- hey! hardhead, don't make me spank you when i get back

reid: don't listen to him, garcia! he's all talk!

*morgan hits reid on the back of the head*

reid: jj, he just hit me!

jj, preoccupied by case files: boys, behave, or i will ground you both

#criminal minds #criminal minds memes #canon transcript #penelope garcia #derek morgan #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #bau #your honor #they're idiots

[unclewaynemunson]

Wingman Wayne AU pt4 is here! | AO3 link

Eddie comes back home from his not-a-date with Steve much later than planned; the two of them ended up spending the whole afternoon at the cafe together, sharing stories, getting to know each other, laughing at weird passersby... Eddie hadn't even noticed how much time had passed until it was already getting dark outside.

Wayne is about ready to head out for his night shift when Eddie gets to the trailer, and shoots him a way too smug look.

'So your date went well, huh?'

Eddie makes a face at him. ‘Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly, old man,’ he says. ‘In all honesty, I do have to admit that Steve’s actually a good guy - but that’s the only credit you’ll be gettin’ here. We merely had a fun time bonding over some queer stuff. I can assure you that there was completely no attraction whatsoever.’

Wayne's face drops. 'That's too bad, Ed.'

'No, it's not,' Eddie replies. 'I'm perfectly happy being single, you do know that, right?'

'Yeah, of course.' But it doesn't quite sound like he means it.

'Seriously, don't worry about me. I'm fine,’ Eddie says. He gives Wayne an affectionate pat on his near-bald head. ‘And you should go to work now, before they fire you for being a sentimental old man.'

As soon as Wayne’s truck drives off, Eddie finds himself at the phone, the gross note with Steve's number on it clenched in his hand again.

'Hey, um, just wanted to let you know that uncle was very disappointed there was no spark between us,' Eddie reports when Steve picks up the phone.

'Well, let's hope he finally learned his lesson not to mingle in your love life, then,' Steve answers with a light chuckle.

'He's the worst,' Eddie says, but then immediately feels bad about it, so he adds, 'He actually means well. I think he worries. Not that he needs to, I decided I'm better off single anyway.'

'Really?' Steve sounds surprised.

'Yeah, I guess I'm not exactly a relationship type of guy, you know.'

'You've never been in a relationship?' There's no judgment behind the question, only curiosity.

'Uhh...' Eddie hesitates. But Steve's queer too, he'd understand, right?

'I don't know,' he settles on saying. 'I mean, I've been someone's dirty secret a couple times. Turns out that my definition of a relationship doesn't always align with that of closeted Chads. So that’s why I decided I'm better off alone.'

There's a silence at the other end of the line, and Eddie wonders if he overshared again. He knows he shouldn't do that, but sometimes he just can't help himself. He had been so excited about having met a fellow queer guy, someone who'd understand him... Maybe he misjudged Steve after all.

'You do know there are options out there that aren't closeted Chads, right?' Steve finally says. It sounds genuinely empathetic, putting a halt to Eddie's spiraling thoughts and reminding him that he doesn't need to worry, that Steve's a good guy, that he indeed understands.

Eddie laughs. 'Sorry, Stevie, you're still not my type.'

'I'm not – that's wasn't – I didn't mean it like that,' Steve splutters at the other end of the line. 'I just meant, you know, it’s not completely impossible that there could be someone out there for you. Someone who won't treat you like some dirty secret, who will love you as much as you deserve, you know?'

Eddie feels his cheeks heat up at those words. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling nervous but not exactly knowing why. 'You're starting to sound like my uncle,' he tries to joke.

Steve chuckles. 'Maybe your uncle is wiser than you give him credit for.'

'Are you calling yourself wise, Steve?'

'No, I'm calling your uncle wise. You should probably listen to him more.'

'If I listened to him more, we'd be going on another date tomorrow and get married this summer. Is that what you want, Stevie?'

'Well, the getting married this summer sounds a bit rushed,' Steve says, 'but I wouldn't mind seeing you again.'

Eddie's heart drops to his stomach. 'Steve...' he starts, all the jokey undertones having disappeared from his voice. 'I told you that it's not like that, for me.' He thought he had been more than clear about that right from the start, in fact.

'No! Oh, God, no, I didn't mean it like that,' Steve immediately says. 'I just meant, like, if you ever wanna hang out or something... As friends, you know. It's um – it'd be nice to have a – another queer friend.'

Eddie releases a relieved breath. 'Okay, got it,' he says. 'Good. Perfect. Yeah, we should definitely hang out another time. As friends.'

Pt5

Jesus H Christ I’m honestly blown away by the response to this silly au, it means so much to me <333 I’m reading all your lovely comments and hilarious tags with the biggest smile on my face, makes me sooo happy!!

(Update: apparently there was something wrong with the taglist but I think I fixed it, sorry!! Please lemme know if the tags are still not coming through)

Taglist: @phantypurple @love-kurdt @eddiemunsonswife @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @swimmingbirdrunningrock @paintsplatteredandimperfect @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @yourebuckingkiddingme @th3-r4t-k1ng @messrs-weasley @moonshadows-13 @im-sam-fucking-winchester @xjessicafaithx @yournowheregirl @henderdads @lwhoscribbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @rainydays35  @cassaloopa @skeliiix @thesuninyaface @silversnaffles @jestyzesty @4nemo1egend @ace-of-foxes @harringtonsgother @thegingervulcan @snapshotmaestro @thereindeerlady @jillfriend @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @gamerdano @spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @00biscuit @mixsethaddams @steve-the-hairrington @episcogoth @caligularib @gaydrieeen @winterbuckwild @bookbinderbitch @daysarestranger @nonbinary-eddie-munson @fangirltofangod @solalasoforth @obsessivlyme @slit-wrist @fxndom-hoe @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @joruni @roastingdragon @lenore1232 @princessstevemunson @cuips-not-cute @munsonsuccubus @justalittlefungi @cherrycolas-things @nitrilexam @thepainisspicy @hopefulslothcollecter @whatisreggieshortfor @doctorqueensanatomy @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sadcanadianwinter @iamsotiredman @orangeandthefairroadkill @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @b-icetea @freddykicksasses @faery-god @poleaxed-aloe @mamaclownhunter @paperbackribs @blvckwidow @mightbeasleep @butuglypeoplefucktoo @lolawon @angryavocadofrog @iwouldsail @livelaughlexa @magpiemuseum @shushuac  @ravnlinn @homohomohoe @kissaphobic-kas @cmackz93 @your-greatest-queen @alltheweirdkidsinoneplace @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @ceaselessly-watching @anaibis @enchantedlandcoffee @fluffy-alpaca-of-darkness @nelotegreitic @mollymawkwrites @evix-syne666 @redfreckledwolf @ajamlessbaby @connected-dots @nothisisntmyname @steddieassheg0es @anxiouseds

#backstory unlocked NOW IT'S TIME TO AWKWARDLY FLIRT (as bros of course) #they're idiots #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #wayne munson #stranger things #fruity ficlet

[aithusarosekiller]

James and Barty would fake marriage proposals in public places to get reactions bc it was hilarious to them

And they spoke about wanting to actually get engaged at some point but James decided he wanted it to be a surprise because he is a little shit and he decided to do it in public bc he thinks he is hilarious

One day James takes him out to the nearby pier, gets on one knee, takes out a ring box Barty has never seen before, and opens it to reveal a beautiful new ring he has also never seen before

He asks him to marry him and it goes a little like

Barty: IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE POTTER

Everyone around: 0_0

James: wh-

Barty: WHAT???? ARE YOU JOKING???? WHAT? JAMES I AM SO CONFISED RIGHT NOW??? WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT RING?

James: Babe-

Barty: WHAT IS HAPPENING? WE DID NOT DISCUSS THIS ONE

Everyone: ????

James: darling, I'm actually asking you to marry me

Barty: I DO NOT KNOW IF THIS IS A JOKE

James: B-

Barty: JAMES HELP ME

James, standing up and grabbing him by the face: I AM ASKING YOU TO MARRY ME

Barty: WHY

James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY?

Barty: IS THIS FOR ATTENTION FROM THE GENERAL PUBLIC OR BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY WANNA MARRY ME

James: I really want to marry you, Barty.

Barty: *static sounds as his brain stops working* huh

#they're idiots #but they're my idiots #Sirius filmed the whole thing #darksun #killerchaser

[castial]

why did he look so offended? sjdjjd

#goldrose #rhys montrose #joe goldberg #you season 4 part 2 #they're idiots #rhys is RIGHT #rhys x joe #joe x rhys

[revenantghost]

Vashwood is both married and divorced at all times and I think that’s beautiful

#Trigun #Vashwood #They're idiots #My beloved

[guardiandae]

Trans Saitama having Genos for a boyfriend would be great because if he stepped out of the house and was like, "aaah... I forgot my packer :/" Genos would be like, "YOU CAN BORROW MINE, SENSEI" and throwing his actual (metal) dick and balls at Saitama's face before he could even finish his sentence, send tweet

#they're idiots #in love #genosai #headcanons

[i-like-anything-water]

I love the fics where Chloe can control bees because she's so dramatic and over the top it'd be canon to have her bees hold a sign that says 'Marinette will you BEE my Valentine?' While she's decked up in her suit and there's sparkles in the background (courtesy of Rena who's filming the whole thing, laughing) and she's holding flowers that her bees told her (yes, told) are good for courtship. Bonus if Marinette can speak to ladybugs and they snitched on her so she's both endeared, amused and excited for her date with her rival turned friend and possibly girlfriend.

#chloenette #chloe bourgeois #marinette dupain cheng #chlonette #they're idiots #but i would read a fic about it #...or write it if I'm in the mood lmao #buggy square #maribee #marinette: she's going to what? #ladybugs: yas gurl but don't tell her we told you the bees are already at our throats #bees: we have a new queen! new queen! new queen!

[freddie-77-ao3]

Connor: why are you crying? Malcolm: oh it’s just the onions. Connor, aggressively picking up an onion: what the fuck did you say to my best friend?! Malcolm, sobbing harder: we're best friends?????

#pjo hoo toa #pjo #riordanverse #pjo series #pjo fandom #incorrect quotes #malcolm pace #connor stoll #they're like ten here okay #they're idiots #they're idiots in love #they're idiots your honor #malconnor #preship but

[heartfulselkie]

This ain’t about Adrien. You’re tiny. Accept it.

It's okay she's very secure about her height.

#ml cat cafe #ask selkie #they're idiots