byclair is THE it couple ever come onnn charismatic popular jock x sweet sensitive artist ?? pretty guy that everyone wants x pretty guy that everyone wants ?? could easily rule benevolently over hawkins high and be adored by all their subjects if they so choose ?? homophobia cannot touch these two because their combined sarcastic powers and swag would just send it running for the hills (also: will in lucas’ letterman jacket send tweet)
Caldwell: (reading) "If you think Mario has the biggest head, turn to page… (conspiratorial) 69!"
[Murph gasps.]
Caldwell: (sing-songy) 69!
Murph: We have to! We have to! We have no choice!
Emily: What's the other one?
Caldwell: (reading) "If you think-- If you think Luigi has the biggest head, turn to page [snores] 94." Ughhhhh.
Emily: (chanting) 69! 69!
Murph: (yelling away from the mic) 69~!
Caldwell: Give me that sex page!
[Emily makes a consonant-heavy sound by rapidly moving her tongue back and forth. Caldwell and Emily laugh.]
Caldwell: Aw, yeah!
Emily: That's what it sounds like whenever I do it.
[Murph and Emily make the sound in unison.]
Caldwell: (over them) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! Human legos, let's do it!
Murph: That's us-- that's us 69-ing.
Caldwell: Alright here we go. Now we know 68 is a bad boy page.
Murph: Yep.
Caldwell: But 69? Uh oh! A good… a good buddy.
summary: each of the boys reaction to you telling them you’re pregnant plus more cute lil headcanons
warnings: mentions of pregnancy, mood swings, super teeth rotting fluff, i’ve formatted this like 90 percent mobile so if it’s a lil messed up that’s why :)
word count: 500
steven
- the second you told him you were pregnant he needed a brown paper bag to start breathing into lmfao
- he was so excited from the get go and he was one who loved to go to stores and pick stuff out for the baby and the nursery
- he brings a bunch of parenting books and baby books home, and begs the other alters to at least look at them
- steven wants to be the perfect dad, he wants to be ready in any situation that’s presented to him. he wants to be prepared
- he’s kind of a soccer dad? he makes snacks with cute notes and drives them places
- never lets them out of his sight, specifically because the first time your baby had some tummy time with steven they decided to wander off
- steven almost had a panic attack and they were just chilling under the sofa
marc
- he is stunned, shocked n scared. he is terrified. he’s honestly really avoidant about it at first
- the conversation doesn’t go so well, you tell him you’re pregnant and he just kinda goes ‘ok’ and the two of you go on about your day
- it isn’t until later at night when you’re almost fully asleep that marc just whispers “you weren’t joking, right? you’re really pregnant? for sure?”
- you get up and show him the pregnancy tests and it just clicks in his head that he’s really having a kid
- he doesn’t wanna fuck up and be a bad dad and he’s always nervous about holding them
- the first time marc held them they cried and he was certain that meant they didn’t like him
- “they hate me already.” meanwhile they fall asleep on his chest while he’s sleeping on the couch
jake
- he is way more emotional than he thinks he should be. he wants to be a dad so badly, i feel like jake wants to have a big family and while he doesn’t outright say it i think you can understand it
- he is super onboard with all the weird shit abt pregnancy, you need pickles and ice cream at four am? fuck it let’s go
- you don’t like the nursery anymore? let’s just rearrange it right now. no i don’t care it’s midnight you sit back just tell me where to move things
- he’s the best out of the three who deals with your moodswings and emotions, he apologizes profusely and is on his knees worshipping you
- i mean u are carrying their kid how could he not be completely ecstatic?
- out of the two between him and marc, jake actually takes his time to read the books steven brings home
- he learns a lot, and pretends to be a bougie dad but really he’d let his kid each the fries off the floor of the limo